2014 ©T Av
1
Tinder for experTs V 1.0
Ct 2014 T Av ic. A rt rv
.tav.c
disClAimer: Copying, shAring, emAiling, posTing, disTribuTing, selling This work in whole or pArT, or CreATing deriVATiVe works from This book is sTriCTly prohibiTed. pleAse see The Terms And CondiTions AT The end of This book for deTAils. This work is noT To be Considered professionAl, mediCAl, psyChologiCAl or legAl AdViCe. iT is for enTerTAinmenT purposes only. Tinder AdVisor, inC., or our AssoCiATes, or AffiliATes will noT be liAble for Any direCT or indireCT ConsequenCes ThAT oCCur from The use of Any of The ideAs ConTAined This book.
2
© 2014 T Av
Notes by the Author ........................................................................................................................................................... 4 reprogrAm your miNd ........................................................................................................................................................ 5 Technological DisrupTion .................................................................................................................................................................................... 6 TinDer’s percepTion: The sex app ......................................................................................................................................................................... 7 Your online persona: The sweeThearT principle .................................................................................................................................... 8 Two core challenges: risk premium & Your perceiveD value .................................................................................................... 11
creAte the irresistible profile ...................................................................................................................................... 13 who shoulD You Be? ............................................................................................................................................................................................... 14 The profile picTure ................................................................................................................................................................................................... 18 Your seconDarY picTures .................................................................................................................................................................................... 21 coming up wiTh a DescripTion .......................................................................................................................................................................... 25 use insTagram To achieve even more value............................................................................................................................................ 28
swipiNg strAtegies ............................................................................................................................................................ 30 seTTing a range........................................................................................................................................................................................................... 31 swiping Technique .................................................................................................................................................................................................... 32 when To swipe - herDing Your maTches ..................................................................................................................................................... 35 noT geTTing enough maTches? ........................................................................................................................................................................ 37
the Art of chAttiNg........................................................................................................................................................... 38 when To engage ......................................................................................................................................................................................................... 39 conversaTional value – how cool are You? ......................................................................................................................................... 41 TemperaTure TheorY – is she inTo You?....................................................................................................................................................... 44 sTep 1: opening – geT her chaTTY! ................................................................................................................................................................... 49 sTep 2: The fillers – have a fun conversaTion........................................................................................................................................ 56 sTep 3: The faceBook close .................................................................................................................................................................................. 61
fAcebook: the best bAckgrouNd check ....................................................................................................................... 64 common Traps: who is she reallY?................................................................................................................................................................ 65 opTimize Your image ................................................................................................................................................................................................ 67 reiniTiaTe anD BuilD rapporT over faceBook ......................................................................................................................................... 68 sexual escalaTion Techniques ........................................................................................................................................................................ 72 closing conversaTions anD keeping iT hoT ............................................................................................................................................. 76
settiNg up A greAt dAte.................................................................................................................................................... 77 TYpes of girls You will meeT on TinDer ...................................................................................................................................................... 78 converTing warm leaDs ....................................................................................................................................................................................... 80 anTi-flake proTecTion............................................................................................................................................................................................ 82 Dealing wiTh flakes................................................................................................................................................................................................. 83 Techniques for sTuBBorn meDium anD colD leaDs........................................................................................................................... 84
tActics for iN-persoN tiNder dAtes ............................................................................................................................. 85 DaTe iDeas anD framing ........................................................................................................................................................................................ 86 logisTics: The keY To success............................................................................................................................................................................. 90 sTimulaTing Topics anD lines To use on TinDer DaTes ...................................................................................................................... 93
coup de grAce: the fiNish................................................................................................................................................. 96
seTTing The righT oBjecTives .............................................................................................................................................................................. 98 pushing The sexual Tension inTo overDrive ........................................................................................................................................... 98 overcoming all poTenTial oBjecTions ..................................................................................................................................................... 102 whaT comes afTer scoring............................................................................................................................................................................... 104
2014 ©T Av
3
Notes by the Author Ta ca “Td ext” a tt t t cv t tta at vat. T tat ta tv t c t a actvt t t t t. T avc av ct ta a , a cc at a t tat tat c a t a cv. T t tct aa t c j t t 1% T a ta avata t aa a t t .
personAl ACCounT ev t c T, i a cc t t tt at a ca. it a tat at at i c t ca a atact c t ta at a, a a. i cat “pc- Att” c ia ava va actc ct a, t i av a t at t . i ct t t t tat i av v a t a avt i av j t at tt . f a v, i a a a t atat t e a Caaa. At at vt, i a a t tat at a a. At t a t, i aat a c t ct a tt ac t t . A a ca T a c c t . At, i a a t t t t i at T. m aac a t aat t tact. i t t a ctv a cvc a atc t a at t . b t tav a, i a a t t a cc. i act, i a t at ta at a t t . m cc t t a aa a t a t a a avc. T a t a a ca c aatca v t c T, att ca t a t . T cvc tat t a a va a t t c t. i T - a at a - a a a c. mt a t t t t v ca t t t cv t t tv. T a a x n -n. y ca t t v t t ctat a t a t t !
ACknowledgemenTs pct tc T a a a a c, t t a at ac t ctt t c : d. snn a t ma. T t a a a avata: a a t a t t t t tt T a t ct. T a t v vatv tc a c t t. T a t a ta a cca tvat t t a ct cv t. T a a t v tta c, a v t t!
4
© 2014 T Av
a
2014 ©T Av
5
techNologicAl DisruptioN wc t t a A! s v act a a t at vc ct. y av t t cct t at a at a t. T cat t c itt vt a a ac. T tata “t” t ’ va t c ac a t t cact at. y a a tat, a a t at . fat-a t ta a ca t tat t t a at t aat a a. f t av tt i a tt at, cat! i a a t T tc. nt t a t t c at a a t 10 v 50 ct ( c t t v ), t t a tat T cct t t ta a! T a aa t -at t t a. g v a t avt tv atc.c a ca ta a a fac ct a t t ca ct. T at cat a ctv. T a av T va at tata at. T a, t “nn-a” t t t c T. T a t at t t a t. T a cta at t t av v v a t a t c a (t at) tat caact t t. yt “-at” a at T’ cat a t ac ctat. i a, j T, i c v tata t a t: av , t t “a ” a t c . T t t ajt T: t “na ”. T a t a , a atcat a ca t a c a t a at. T a a ca t t, t t t v aa ca t t t at. T a t tac a v a a t t t vc t. A a, at t tcca vt a , t ? T ect ct T a t -a c at; t aa ttt a t c . s t ta a at s a da. s a ta t T t (. c t) t a t. o a tat t aac ta ca a a c (taa), t tt a, , ttt. s att ctv v a att a a: a t a an na t t cta T. T cat t av t a t a cv a av c tact t .
6
© 2014 T Av
tiNDer’s perceptioN: the sex App ma c T a a a v tct t av a -t ta t a at a caa t-attac at. T tat t a va a, . i’ t a, t t T a ta t at t a. d, c a t, t cv a t. hv, av a cac tt a ca av a a at ct, a a n. T t, t t at tat t at ct. s a t a aa tt a ta t T, tat a t a a? ita, t a cvc t t av a t avt ta t ava ( rc p at t ct). s , a , t t a t t a t av a a a t c t t a. ot, t a taa, t , ca t ct cc. h, t tt! uta tat t t a - t t at - t a ta ’ a t c t a at t a. T at t, t cvc a a v tat t t t , a --, a t t a a t t t t a. T tat t a a tat cc a ta at t a, a t a tc t t . oc cc t a T, caa acta ta a at. T ca t a v ca cc a t av t a t ca t c t t . A, c t t t t t, t ct at, av t ac tat tat cca aat t t t. ( C gac Cat)
2014 ©T Av
7
your oNliNe persoNA: the sweetheArt priNciple n tat ta t a , t t t t cc t tactc vv. T sa pn t aac tat a cac t t at . it t cat t a acta aan a c t t tata c tat.
TrAdiTionAl ATTrACTion phAse lt at a tata c a a. i av a T g myty mtd, aa ta t ac. i a a ata tt c, t ca i a at t c t a a at v t ctat at t T. h t c: i a ta at t a t a ; a ta at t t tt. s, a t v t t tat a v attactv a av t . i t t a t a “Excuse me girls, just quickly, can you help my friend and I settle a debate... who lies more, girls or guys?” T t v a a ; a ca t t tat t. yt c t a a. i tt: “Interesting you would say that! You must be the clever one!” T t t t . “And you must be the one with attitude”a t v a c . s c t a tat . sc v t t , i t at t at t t t av a taatc c t a fca t ta t v pa, tt t t ta s a a a ta. w t t a a a tat t t t, i t t a v a a tt: “Sure it isn’t, but don’t worry, not all men are Swiss.”wat a a ?
8
© 2014 T Av
ga c t t a t attact a a c. i cat attact ta t t . f t t t t, i tat t t ta t cc, t t a tat tat i a a a t . i a aat cc tat t a’ cc ca t ct a .
Tinder is noT yeT reAl life T ac T n. T t, cc tat t av a c t t aa a t v ta t acta . o T, a tc a t a tat a at a t t caact. nt, a t ct t at t t aac . y a ct t aat ca, c a t a av. ft, a a a at tv v t t cc v T, t c a t t at cat. T a i av a ’ a va a v tat t v a atc ca av a! T a t cvta a tactc tat t ta ta, t t t t t cc ct. b, a t a t at t a t v t t t t a ’ t t c.
differenTiATe yourself by being The AbsoluTe biggesT sweeTheArT i a ta at ra g T ntb. T ca a a t t at a a. s ct t c tat at a v a t aac a a a at a- tat att. T t tat a a at, t v acta attact t at. T stat pc a t aat a a. Ta t T, a t ct tat tat t v av tc! A, t -tat tat c ct ct cta t t , v at t a T a t t acta at. w t , t at ct , c av tt t act . T a aatv. At t t , t stat aac t t cc ca t aa t a a a a . i t at cat, a a t t t a t actc at v t t t t-. d’t t, c a t , ra g t t t Ja b at t av a a, ta, a t . (s t “Tt - Td dt) r: T a t a T. T a attt a a c tat a t tt t t vt. fc aat tat a atc vt.
2014 ©T Av
9
other NArrAtives: w ca at a cac cc, vt t t stat pc. i a cct, t v t a . hv, t av t tat cc t, ca a a t a. h a a a vaat: t sxa eaa: y av atc t a tat t t c vtt av a v t t t cc ct – at t ct tat t t ca. At sa ecaat aat t ajt, ca t t t a . T a a t c t c a t cat t at a t t t t a tatca t a -t-ta. m d. st t a t . (d bt sx et Tq t “fb” t) t sa faa: h a t c tat j tt a t ca a at. y at t t a t t t a: 1. y av c c t t 2. s at a ct tat av t t t (J, hac, fa, Cat...) 3. s vt ct a t a (ct a t tav t) b t t tat, t , ca t tt a av a at t. T a t a t ct. i a cc tt , aa a -- t- ( “Tat T” “T At Catt”). y ca aa a ac ca vtat t at t t a. T sca factat a a at t t tat av c. i t at at , vt t t c vt - t a a tat t at a. t t: T a ca cjct t t stat pc. f va a, ca t t a t t a a tt, ca c a ac tat t c ct tv vt a. i act t a -tat, t a t at t tat a tt v . i td t d Td y, d t d t bty ttb x! k tat ct c t t t at a tc a t t a a. ( t “stt t dt”)
10
© 2014 T Av
two core chAlleNges: risk premium & your perceiveD vAlue i a a a T , t t t ava at t ctat. T ttt éé a t t , t ac, at ct. s a T t a t t v at? At , a a ac v tt tact t ca ca “sca p”, a c ctt tat v tat a t a a a. ft, a cc t ctt, a a t a attact.
on Tinder, you CArry A risk premium w cc ct va ca t a ta a ta a a a ( dt tby td t t t t - y jt d’t t ty d). T t vaa a r p a t t , t ct t t t t at. T tat r p ct: a tt avt ta t. s a a t v t v v. T t at t t ct t a t t a a t t. ta t, a at, a c t t .
opTimize your perCeiVed VAlue o T, av a t ct a at t a a. A a t, t tv a a tt ta t a t ta. nata, t ca v c t t t. y pcv Va a ct jct a t tat c act t at t. it va t t t; tac, a tav a t. yt t a a t a ava pcv Va t v tat v c ctat. T t at a t t t ct tc t T. T t , t a vt .
Theory in prACTiCe y a a aa a v a ata va 300. y v a t a c va 300 a , t? w, t’ a tat pcv Va t t a at a t 250 t (t t 5/6 ty btt t t ). y a ta t a a a av t a t ct cta t a ta. T v a ava r p ct 20%.
2014 ©T Av
11
T, ava t t a va 200, t t t t 300 t a t! s T t v a t at ? nt ca. y t c t t ca c av: T r p a p va. Tc t c c tat. y ca cat a tat a v tt ta , t v a va a: 350. p cvata , ca vaat a stat pc ca atca c t r p . i ca t t 10%, t a c t 315 a c av t! n tat ta t a t tat t v, t at t a aa a pcv Va t t !
12
© 2014 T Av
cat t t
2014 ©T Av
13
who shoulD you be? y a t t t tt a t . ev tt ta t d e ! T at a aa a t a ca t at a. d , ca ctaca at pcv Va a vc t r p t c t a. it ta a t t t t t, t t at a ’t t t t t tac!
personAl CoAChing our experTs Also offer personAlized ConsulTing To mAximize your online imAge on Tinder, fACebook And insTAgrAm. if you Are inTeresTed. VisiT: www.TinderAdVisor.Com
14
© 2014 T Av
do you need To be hAndsome? T a ca a t t. l att t, t , t t a t a t avt a t atc. it jt a tat t a t . i t ct, a t-a aa . i av t ct t t ja i cv at a a acta v T (a t cc fac t av aa t-, t a at). At i ’t avcat a a, a t , t a t cat t t t t!
meThods for deAling wiTh speCifiC flAws y a a: d t t a t t a cc . T a t attt a a jct ta ca. A, t t t ac t! T vta a t a tc c t a at . ita, t t , , c -ajt ct t t t. T a, t a at t t at t a t. A, a a, a t ctat t tt a. d t t a t t v a. T ca va. y a : T av a t aat a t t t t c ta . T t t a t t a ta - t at t a t . i av a c v t , c d. st, a t a t t c cc T. occaa, t a ta , t t ca at t aa . y a a: i a a, av a a c tat t. i a tat t a a t tca, t t a a at v t! A t t tat t t t tca. A, t a tat at ac t a t t a t a. At 35 a , T mav a t t at. y a a n: T v a t t v t t t itaa ( t t ). Aa, t tc t av a “taa” act t a t t a, t t t a cat t t t t. st a c ta t ca a a t aa. y a aa : u itaa t ta c t. s tat av a a tt a acc t . d t t t a . hv, t t attactv a ( tt y) t y 1 t 2 t ttt ( t t sdy pt t). r: ot a. d t t ct. ia c t t a cv a cv. i at, t t t cv ta tt. y t at, t a tat t j . T v t ca t a t a ca a . oc t , t v a t a. hv, a tt a a a a t t t tat a v cv . y ct a v v t.
2014 ©T Av
15
broAden your AppeAl At tat cct t a a a aa. T a av a at atca azn. f tac, a a , noT t a t . T t a a at c av tat t at. i c, t a atc, ta aa act tat v t tt a t a “” t az a a “t”. nt a a av a t a t tav t t ac, a atca t. hv, a cat va a t a t t kiss a a v . T “rc T” t aa t a a a. sa, av t at t cc t a at t aat at v att . hav a a t ct aat a c attact a t t , t T, t a j a t c. i t c av a t a -. T t li - a t t ta at ! b, a ct c - att - cat a t “cat t” a atc. i act, a cat : “ct t”, “aa a”, “/act t”... ev a , t c t t a ca t t aa. ita, t t t t at acc t, vat vt, ac t, t a ... T c a t v atc t t at t acta *.
AVoid The douChebAg TrAp fa, t ta aa at tat c a a a! At v t t a t cv va. lt v t c ta: No selfies: T, i a t a i’ t a t aa at t a . w a t t ta t , t t t a t a tt. o t at v ta a t at t . T vat ajt at a: a ca. s at t ac, at t t, a aa..., d ! i a a c , av n an a a n . T tat ca tat a gp a a t a ca a ta c t t a. o, ! No “cool serious fAce”: i’ , t a ta a a t, av a t t t . ev cat at a t, t a ac T . T “dc fac” ca a. w ta a t , , a t a a tat. No posiNg with somethiNg you do Not owN: y a t ca a c at a c ta a t t t. Catat, t t t ata. d. st ca t a cv tt t av ca: t a c itaa t t a at t pc a v. y ca t t a pc ca t t t . g v t ca t ; av v a pc! (st d t t qt, bt d dd, t td t t xy)
16
© 2014 T Av
No showiNg-off: C t t , t aat a t t tat a t c. T c a ta t t a. lt a t pc t v a. dv t c ca t t a t a aa. A, st t v at t caa, tat t t a a. i t ca a t v a a v t t t t ta, tat t . s c c? 1.
y a at t a aa t .
2.
y a t t a ht .
i t t t tac. A t a, t ’v tatv t t t 1, aa t a tt t t t t , a c . T a . i a a noT av a t t caa (ca t a s)! ita, av a t t tat t t a catc a f at t ac a a tat t a v a at t! T a c a t . wa c, -tt ct. d t a a ac t-t t a “Aa” tt ct. A tat t t t? i v a t t t a ctt t caa t av, a a a t a a t av a at T . A c a ct a t t ta t.
2014 ©T Av
17
the profile picture y ct t an t . mt t c c a t . T t a tat a t at t t t t av atc t . mt t v at a!
formATTing The perfeCT shoT s t a act jt t? ft, an v tat. Av t a t t: 8 ac 8 ta t tac 8 t aa t caa 8 t t “” 8 t a . p t ac ca . 8 t. w a v a t a t. 8 at t t a. sa c a v t. Av ac a t t. 8 a a
ita: 9 hav a t only , t c a attt. 9 w t a t t a, t at at ct*. At at t t
t. 9 sta at t caa, t aa at t av t “ act” . 9 s 9 ma t a c t, c tat a t t c at c . T
a, a itaa t t t t a t v at. T t t at t v . 9 da va t va ina: tat , ca actvt, attc , tav
c act t. *N: i av a c , i t c t t ct. i t ct, t c ac a c. A, a t t tat t t a t . dtat av cv t at t ( t t t ct).
18
© 2014 T Av
inTegrATe one or seVerAl VAlue indiCATors ta lx: s c t : “A tt t t a a at t a a”. i av a t t tat t ct ta a ct t, t t av a a t. T a aac a . i c t t a c t t a a tc t t cat. ot a c: 9 a v c taat t a ac a 9 a t ac 9 av a v c aatt, ca a ct t 9 a actvt t ct a t, a ct
pa A: At t at t . At i avcat a t , t a t t cta “ a”. T a atatca a a t . ita, t t t tat : 9 y at t t a ta ct t /a a 9 y a aat tt a t 9 y ac a c v 9 y t /ct avt t t t
A s: p t a at at t t t ct t. y t a t . f a: 9 h a caa a t a t a atta tt 9 gt at ta a c. 9 h attc at ata, t noT acta at. y ’t at t t t t
t t at. lt c. 9 Ta a ac , aa, a t t ta a t a , v t jt
t t. 9 i a a tt, av t t ca ct t t t a aj at ,
a t a . s t ct. ta exn: i t v tat tav t t vtt t a t a a . A t t t cat a c tt t a a. y atatca av va a av a a t at t tt cvat. ev av tav t t at ata a, t ct va ta ca.
2014 ©T Av
19
Cat t t at t ac a vt, t a ata t e T. w aa t t, t tt t a ct tt. bacac a t a c a t ca a tat t tat a. g v tat a vat a tat aat t v ct ct. A sn s: i t, t a t t ct. Ca, t t a t t t aaac. b t caa at t a a t ct c a a ajt t . i av a v t a t, ca t t a t a cc t gt, c, t, at v . T t t . i a a ttt, t at t t t T, c t a acat t. i a ac t a aa, ’ t aa gq. A, vt t t t ’ a a Aa, h b, dc & gaaa a d t a a . Aa t c a tat a t a. T, i c t a t a av t ct . i av t a , t a t. d ct tt ta a ct t t ta . g a c ctv t t ta , ’t t ca t. A t a, ta aa a t c t-t, t a c. T ccaa a t zaa h&m a a t, a t t t t t a a.
priVATe phoTo TriCk if you would like To use A phoTo ThAT you noT wish To AppeAr on your fACebook - for exAmple, you used insTAgrAm To improVe An old shoT - simply posT iT on your wAll under The “only me” VisibiliTy seTTing. As of This publiCATion, The lATesT Tinder Allows you To use These piCTures on your profile.
20
© 2014 T Av
your secoNDAry pictures w v ca t, t a c t t . s a at a t, av t ta t at ct. k tat t at t t t tat c t t a c. it at a a t ct.
show differenT fACeTs of your ChArACTer T a t a v t t. y t at a t a t t av t t cac cc. w t t a p pct ca a a a sca pct, t a a: at t a aan . A a t a -a, t a tt a t t t a at. y t at t tat t Va icat tat t tat t p pct. f a, t av t a t – t, . u t t ct t tat a t caa, tat tav a t, tat a t... r t t v ct a.
AddiTionAl mAndATory And opTionAl shoTs i at t t Va icat, t a ta tat ca a t sca pct, t t p ct. h a t cat: t b p: fa, t t t ! i v t a t, att at a a . i t a ct, t a a ct tat a c t. 9 i a a, t a . A, t tat t av t
. A t c t t at a t tt ta . Atatv, ca a at a t. itaa a c at ctaca. 9 i a ava t a, t t t t! d. st t at
tac, ac t caa, c tat ca ac a . T a, v t t ’t. i a vt, t t, t t t t ! s aa av a ta t t (t av cat t aat ct). y jt t tat a t t at t tat t ! sna: lt’ at t, a c t a . T ct sca pct, t t p pct. d t a a ta a ct a t ’t tt t. ma t a t a tat a t t t ta jt a a. ln n dan: T a sca pct a ca a a c ct a a t t tt. A, ca ta t t ac t attact attt t t c a a t tat.
2014 ©T Av
21
t cn p: At ta, ca at t t t t t. hav cat a t t t ac, t a t a t at t ac. i t av a c tc, ta a - c ca. g at t at a a a a a a at c v a t. s v t c tat t t c t t! i a t a at c, t i av v tt a cat. T ca acat t t a ta t t. T jt t a a aa aat. T tat jt a tat: t a ca, c ct, aa t at t at a a tt ! pan an inn: T at t at t ct tat ’t v t ta a t t cata t va t . st at a a a cctat cat t t. w a t a tat a v av t v t. c : i av a t ct t a a c, t ca av a ct a . T a tc act a v a -tat – tt c t t stat pc. pac t t 4t 5t ca, t t ct, t t t t t a t 6t t t vta. n a t a, t t a a c a c a a t , ! t pa p: T t tat t t a av ! T a ta t a t tat t ca. ft, tat a tat a a aa, av at t vv a av a t. y t a av , t cat t. i act, ’t a – v tv t t. i t av tt, av t t ac. d’t ta a ta a c. s t t ? ma t at v t a -ta. rt at aa av a atca aa t . T a v t ct at; a t t 60 a vt, ta a t! A ha at ca a at t c a. n att tat t, t c a t ct v c a ca. p a tt ac v ca ca a tat a t v. in p: i c tat av t sca pct. T a t t cta ac t a ca ctt. i aa, t a a tat t at a. T a t t- t a t a, tc a at: 8 A crowd: a ctctv, t at t t t t a t a.
T a ca at t t t a. 8 you ANd childreN: T a . w t tat t av tat t a a at
ccat . T atca aa. T a t ca a ca c tat a ca t . T tat av a ca t a tat, a, a t at . T acta v . 8 you ANd A group of girls: s, i t t aac. wt t a
a t av a t , av t a t c a c. g a a t a t t “” aa. i cvc a c a t v c t, t a a .
22
© 2014 T Av
9 you ANd A few frieNds: i a t c t. it a t a t av. T
cat ta t, t a cat a ca va. i av a c a aa t t a t atca t, t t . 9 you ANd A pet: b ca t t . i v a aa at v v , t
ca a t t ctt tt a a v . hv, ca a tt, av a a t t. w t t , t a t a tat c a a aca a. T t jct. i a t, ’t vta a t v t, t c T t c, a tt va t at. 9 you ANd oNe girl: T a. sc T atatca a at fac
t, a acct a tat t t ct -. T act tat av T a a a ca . T a ct a-a t . A - a t ta. T, t av c, v av at a ct. y ca av ca ct, t t tta ca tat jt a a a . i ca a t, t a tt. 9 you ANd oNe frieNd: Ca , jt a tat a t tat tt
at, a a t tav, t jt ta t tt. 9 you with two girls: y, t t t ac t t t a aa . b
t c av a t t a. n t a tat t t ac t a t attactv. T t aa t v attt ta a v t t. A a t t t t t at t caa, t at . T t attactv t ca aa ct t . i a aa a v attactv a, ca t t t c a a. 9 you ANd A gAy guy: T ca a acta a a av a attactv a
t . i a av t a ct, t ct t. Jt a tat at tat, a av a t t a. 9 you ANd someoNe fAmous: i ca t a t t a ct ta t t t
pcv Va ca. Caa a cv tt a tt. f tac, a ct a Jt Ta cct v t ta t t tt a t . ba ct t a c a t tca. f tt , a ct t oaa ct a t atc. 9 you ANd your fAmily: A ct t at aat t a tat a
a a a acat tv t t t. sa t a c t, t a c ac a t a -tat, t r p. ma tat a a aa t a t t! 9 you ANd wild ANimAls: T c tt ta a t t ca ca tat a a
aa tt a tat t aa t. T tc t aa t tt! Tav a t t ta a at, -v a aa, a ... T a t pcv Va. ma tat t aa a av t t – t a ct v v v t t.
2014 ©T Av
23
can t maxz in sca ct v t a . T a vatt, t a a a tt a t t . T a ct actvt, t attact cat. o t attact, ca a t acat actvt tat aa t ctact ac t. i ca t an. f a, t a v a tat at a aa (xy, ty, ) a t t a a a Ca tt (ca actvt, tav, vc). mt “a t” v vt t v ta t. y a ctv ca catat a a at t : “ tt d t b dt !” A avac tc t cat a aat ca t t a c. T a atc, t , at aa a at t t: 9 wa a v t a ca actvt (, c, j t at...) 9 b t caa at a a vt t 9 “w” at at a t ac at tc a tt 9 b a v tt ( t ca c, t aa )
C t a. dtac t a a tv t taa!
24
© 2014 T Av
comiNg up with A DescriptioN T tat t t at ct T tat t att v tt. y av 500 caact t t a c ct . d t a t ta: t a tt. y at t t act n nn a tat’ t. y a t c t a ct aa t av a a tt. T at t a -t, a. y t t a t ta. T a t ta ct T a t t t t-a. A a t at t t t ta v . T t va at a. Cca, t ac t a itaa acct. sc T a ct, a itaa a t t at. Cat a at itaa cv t t ct. h t at:
At wt paa
a tc c. itaa: _
Common errors 8 r t c t v ct: t -, a, -at, ,
va a a. 8
Ata a a a tt a ct. T t ct t atc tt t tat t tt at ca. T, at tat t cvat t.
8 qt a a cv a t a. nt a a a a t a a -
a . C t t , t t t . 8 d t ct at a a a. T a t t-a. 8 d t t t . b ct , t a t t a c c t t-a.
b, av a t a t a. 8 d t a at aa a v t. T a at ac. 8 d t t at a t t a a t. T a t t at t a
. 8 d t a at t . it tt t aa t j a t t a a t a t av
j . 8 d t av t aa a. y c ac a ta.
2014 ©T Av
25
senTenCe suggesTions i av t v , ca a tt c at. T a, t a a t tat ca t ’ aat a v t cvat at. h a a t:
romAnCe Themed “Magic carpet certied” – v j a, t t a t c c t t. “I love long carriage rides into the sunset” – tc tat a t a ca t t . T c a t t at t a . “Flying to the moon and back” “The fortuneteller brought me here” “Dancing in the moonlight... it just feels so right” “Looking for something dumb to do”– t t t B m d t y y “y bby, i t i t t y y”.
TrAVel Themed “If you could wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be?” “Sandy beaches and snowy mountain tops!” - a t t. “Buenos Aires – Paris - Berlin” – av v va ac a at aa ta jt e, t at t tat. i a a a a atca at, t tt. y ca t a a c ct ca t t a a tc. T t ct t t .
CuTe line eVoking fAmiliAriTy* “See you later, alligator” - Ct t st a t tc tat c a at t. s t v : “i , d”. “Rise and shine, porcupine” “What you cooking, good looking?” “Take care, teddy bear!” *N: At t v t tt ctt t t cvat a, t a a a aaca. T tat t stat pc t catt v . i c a ct ct t t “c” “cv” .
26
© 2014 T Av
i cc, ct t t t v ata va. y ct t t t . T t ca acv t c a a a tt. o t , ca a t va t t t ct t c . gv a t at, t av at t ! t A cnn y a tt t, tt, t t t a. Cta t ct, t a a a a’ a c t. i a t c , t t a . hv, tt a , t a t t act t cc. T t, t t a t a t v t a . ev aa t atc t, t av a t a aat t v a t t. T a a a t (, att, at) a T t t av at t t. i ’t a avcat c at at , t a at a, t t t c. At 24, t 19-23. i a 28, ca t 20-27. T a a a a v att at. d t va a t t , v . T att a. Bt t 22 d 26 (b Td), i y td y . a i t t y ty, i t t t y d i td. w i y t t t t t d y y , i td t t t y . s t dy, bt t dttd t b t. hd i t t t t, d t d d t t b t ! T c . u ca caacttc, a t va a t t . fac a t at a, t t t t. pc t ca.
2014 ©T Av
27
use iNstAgrAm to Achieve eveN more vAlue itaa a a t ta t a . i t a at at t cca a. it ta t va ta aa t ta a ava t at t a fac a. i a t tca at tt itaa, tt tat c t c tat. At t v at, t v a a t t T . it c a: v t, v at a cat a ca a t a T.
fixing The flAws To CreATe sTunning ArT itaa a a t t t t a t t ctaca. ot a t t t ct, t t itaa ca t a tat a ca t act. f , a t t a a a t t va t a ct. y c a tat itaa a a t tt. i c tat a T t a t itaa t t a t a t a . A a t a tat t cat ac t itaa. pt t t t cat #t. Ca t t v itaa ct t t t c ca. T a t t a, t t ct t. w tc av a t c cv- a at a a t. T t t a a c a atv ta. i t t av t a, a a : t ?
Add eVen more VAlue indiCATors f avc t v ct a a itaa acct t T ct. nt, a t “pvat” t tc . T a tat at a ca v itaa acct tt t. i av a t t, t ’t t at tat t at t c. T a, c c a t a t av atc ca ct t at . ma t a aa! y t tat t act av itaa a at t t a c t. T a at t! r t t “p pct” a “sca pct” ct t t at itaa acct. i t c itaa a a “a n a”. T a tat a c tt t t a c ta T – at a, a cat at. s- ca a t ct aa. y ca a at , c a t a at a. T a, t t av a c, t a t a tc ta t t . A, t a: , a cc t, t at... i a t mc b, t ct at. itaa ca ctv t ac Attc Va icat. hav t at c, tt a tca aa. s t ct tt itaa a v !
28
© 2014 T Av
T a t . T aa t , t at t t a t at a at. A Va icat t t v ! s pcv Va t v v aa.
deriVing soCiAl VAlue from insTAgrAm itaa t t t “a” tat t T. T at ct att a t ta t att. A a a cta tat av . s, t vaat tat a t a c ac at at’ at. i cc tat a t va, T acta tat v ! h a c a t ta t . w cat itaa acct, cct t t fac a a aa av itaa t tat av j. ma tat t. i at , tat a a a a at t ac. T c t v t t. utat, ta av . i av a t ca tact t a fac a, c a tac t, t t t t itaa. ma v av a c a . At a t a t t a t cat t (#t #tat). y tat tt “l” a t a a . At , t aa. T jt a at t -cct v . u t t avata!
2014 ©T Av
29
tat
30
© 2014 T Av
settiNg A rANge T T at t a t at T at v aa. sc T a t t v at , t t a. T , c t t at t t. T , t t aa t c. ov, tt a a at t a 160 a t t . T a, t t t a a t t ca, a t ca tact t tta tat. f tac, a ct, a a a v ta t t -t tt. sc t av t, t t t t a aa a t t c ( T’ at). y atc a v a aa . T t a. T a T’ t*: 1. g tt d y t – T a tat at , t a a t . s t a t c a a t t . s t, t tt a t t t . 2. g t t y – T a t at t v a. 3. Dt lt l – T aa t a tt at t T at. s a a t at ta a t, aa at t at . *N: T’ at c. ot act c t a, t ’ v vvt a a t a. T act act a t c a ca a ta t T’ c ta. T ta ta, i c ca t a nna. stat a a t a at t t , ca t a aa. T a t t ct t t t cac cc.
wAlking disTAnCe T atc t a av a c. T a aa t a cta t t. ot t v t a aa - a a .
ACCessible by publiC TrAnsporT i a ct, ca vta ca a t tat t t ac t c tatat t. T ca c atv a. oc cvc, t av a t ctv t ta t t, ca t av t ( “Tactc - T at”).
2014 ©T Av
31
driVing disTAnCe i v t tt, t a a a a a t v. k tat tta atc aa tat av t t a t a t tac. T vc t, t t a t, a c a t at a a aa. T atc av ( hn at t cat). i a cta cat, t t t v t aa, t c a ct l.A. v a ca. i t a ca, t t c ! st t t a t t “Tactc - T at” cat.
neighboring CiTies C t t t a av vtt at. sa, a t a t t t v . qc t c t ct a t a, at, ... i t, a av a t at cvc t a at t vt. ua, c ca cca. T, a t sca factat a. ma ta tat c t ct, a t t a a ta at tta vt. wt t , at tt t at t a tat a a t.
32
© 2014 T Av
swipiNg techNique lt t. T a at tat a, t t a , at t t t t vt. d t cc t “x” “♥” - t c ta . h a t t a t a c.
swipe All girls righT And only TAlk To hoT ones p: 9 fatt t 9 ma atc, t ca t 9 At t ta vvt
cn: 8 ma tcat t a a a va tact 8 y t atc t at ta 8 Cat c t a t tt 8 w catt t a t , t a t ta a, ca t a a a
i a t tc, i c atc t a atc t ta a. d t a: t tact a t a ta t ta av t t? T t t a . m a ctv t at t va.
swipe righT or lefT depending only on profile piCTure p: 9 ratv fat 9 n ca atc 9 ma tt ta at
C: 8 m t t t a p pct (t ) 8 matc t a aa t t t
2014 ©T Av
33
g at v av a t t ta a . i ca a t t 98% at. s t a ’t at at “d b”. w t, t. T av t a ca t at at v atc . i t a va t t, t t attactv. f t at t a t cct . T c t av a t t atact a tat. i t ca, t t a ct t t a. i a ’t t c tc c av, t a t c t t a a a. rt t, jt ’t at t. oc av atc, at t ca t a t ct. i tat tat a t t a t av t t ct. T a tat t ca ct a ctt tat t ct a “ct ca a a”. d’t at t. s c t atc. i a , t t av t. y av a c t ta t t v tc. b , t t.
inVesTigATing seCondAry piCTures when you Are unCerTAin w , t a tta at t. A a at a va cc a, cat a t aa tat t t v ac. pa ata t actc. T a a, t T a a a t-c a.
34
© 2014 T Av
wheN to swipe - herDiNg your mAtches y ca at at t a t. hv, i c t a tc at a av at t tt t . ot, t a t a T cvat c a a tact aa. sc t t-, t a ’t t t t t a . s at at c, v t a, ca actv av a t v t . y ca a t a a, a tt ac t t , : • T av t t t t t a t actv t. • s atc a cc at a t t t aa v t. • gv t t atc t. T at t ca n a ca tat a a t.
psyChologiCAl AdVAnTAge of herding k tat v at attactv t a atc actca v t t t. T a ctv t “”. i a a t t a tat atc, a a atv a t. T t a t cvat a a atc ( “T At Catt). b t cac, t c a t tattca, t a a t tt t av. i a t a a a, ct t a tat cta at: 1. mt t t t t atc – y av cc ! T t a tcat a ta t t t a t at a . w a a t, a at a atv avata. 2. y a t a t tt a atc - y a tt . bt at. k ! T a a atv actv, a tat t t t a t . A, t t t t t ct , a t avata. 3. y a t t – y tat av t a (ca) av ct t aca (t ca). T t t a, t a atc tat a t a at. A ca ta, t t t a 2 a 3 aa a a . T t tat ’v a , a : a i a 3? k tat a, a at t. btt t t T a t t . i ct ta 10 a a a, t avata! l t cat, v t a t t a. i t a tat c aa, t t c, t ac a at av. T av a t!
2014 ©T Av
35
innana hn i a a t tav t at ct ct, t a a ca aa av at ta t T. A a t, a a aa t (d y tt) t t fac a cct t T t tat cat. lt atc v av. y ca t ac , a a t t, a tat catt t t tat av t. i t a a a aa, jt a tav a t, t tat a t c a. i a ta , av a atc c c at t at!
36
© 2014 T Av
Not gettiNg eNough mAtches? i tat a t tt atc, t t t a:
you Are being Too piCky b t t , t atc t t- ? hav jctv at . gv a c t 10 a t 10 t va aa t a ct (cv at, t, ca va, aa). wcv c t a c a t t c. sc at t , t c : a t 1 a 10. ev cc tat t t va t at c, ca T. rt tat c t a a c. y a atc av c, v t t! sa, a a t t at t t v t a v att. T c t a, t a t atc. sc at va a t ava a pcv Va (ct c t atv tac), a t a a tt a aa. T t a t at a t t ! o t t , a t c a atc (t t a t) a act a a t t tat ( at cat t vc t). et t t v c t ta act c a t t at at.
you need To work on you profile A a t v cat, “Cat t it p”, t t a pcv Va vat t t tat. i a t atc a av a 8, tat t c. i t tt, t v . pcv Va t vaa t t t tta vt: t t t t. s t, c t a cat t itaa! ( t t d) rnaz y p oc av ca ct a vat pcv Va cat, ta . T a t “A stt” a t acct. oc t , ac a a ct. d’t t t t ct! T a tat t a tat t ct’ t T at. At c a t atc tat t at t a. T t t a t t atc t a . i a c ta v t a a t t .
2014 ©T Av
37
t at catt
38
© 2014 T Av
wheN to eNgAge y’v t t atc, tat a cvat? g a v a tact, t a a t t av t a n n . i t a t t, t a a t ct t at t. w t a, av t tat t cnana va. T aat t t ct. u t t a t a t cac t a cvat. y ca t t, t atc, t tat catt. i atc t t, a at. ia atc c a, a ca a a, t a a tat aa, t at v. nt . d t, atc ( t ), at at at a t a t av t ct a t v a cac t a t. i ’v atc t t , t a t t aa c a t t. A ta t cac t cat atc t t a tat t atc. h a t t t:
mondAy To ThursdAy beTween 7-11pm T av tt a a av t t a. T t a cvat 11 v t v . V a a a at 11, t a t c a at. btt t ct t t, at , a t t t t t. ia t fac t ct t t t a. T aat at t “fB c” ct.
fridAy, sATurdAy And speCiAl holidAys beTween 3-9pm T t a a t -t ct t ct v . T t tat, t , a t a at t tat v a t. i t a ta , t cav t ca cctvt tat at a tt a t j. bt ca t aac. g a a at t a t av a tat t ta t a T. T aa ctv ca t a t t , t t a ta. T a t a t vt t t t, t v a ta t t t t . At av at t t t a a t t c a t. y a c tt at t t av a t a t t a, --, t . g a t t ct t cvc tat v a t. i t t t t , t t t ? i a t t, ca a cvc t t t a a c c. i a at, at a a t t t a t. T a tatc at t a, c t a a tat. p t ctt a a a ( cat “stt a at at”), t t cvat t a c a c av a t!
2014 ©T Av
39
sundAys beTween 4-11pm T t vt t aat a v actvt T. T a at tt t c at t ca t a “”. i a ct, a t av a ’ cat a a T v t . o sa, av t t t at t t c.
lATe nighT mATCh i, a , a at at t, t : “ Yay, a late night tinder match! ” s a a v v attt c t at a a t a t tact . y av a t t t t. T ca a t a v a cvat.
40
© 2014 T Av
coNversAtioNAl vAlue – how cool Are you? b tt t t cc t tact, t ta t c tat t cc (cnana va a ta ). A av a at , tat t a atv pcv Va. hv, c t catt , a t ata Cvata Va ca ct cac t avata tat t t. T a t av ct Cvata Va, a : A i n n nan? A i nn a an n? V va a a cc. y t at a a t at ctat ca t cvat. k tat ta a a ct t a a ca at! i act, tc t tat t – t ctt tat, a a Tat T (t ct). yt a ta ctv cac a at a ca t t. i t , Cvata Va t a , t t t a .
mAinTAining or rAising your VAlue h a c av a v t atc a a a t t ? T t ! T ct a t va t t t catt tc. bt t a a t a t ta tat a t at a tat, t cv t at t , v t c tt. h a t cat tat a ct t tact: 9 hn: A a “s stat”, at t atc v a
avata. hv, t a a t a t . 9 s a : s cat a av a t c t c
“o” ct. s ctv tt t a a ct. T aa t tt t . utat, t ttt t. 9 s a qn: T vt a v va. y ca a a t
ct t a tat tc a v a a t . 9 y n’ an n q n: i a ct, ca ct t
a ta at t . s t a c attt, t t t v t at . 9 s n nn: Ta a t ac t at t cvat ta. w t
caact? At t a t t at t , t v t a at a . i aa t a , t a tt a t t.
2014 ©T Av
41
9 s n a an an a nn: T tat ca
at t cvat. s a v t t attt t a atc. w ta t t a, ca at a a a ata t. y av t ! ( p p Tc t av t tt ) 9 y n a nan: s a t a a at t
t t a. i t tat a cvat, ta c ta . s a t t a a a t aa , a av a tat t t t t. 9 s nan: i v a a a t t t (/ acta ),
at t t a -. s t jt a a at t t cvat av. sca tt vtt, tat t t.
t pn pn tnq i p p, t a t t ac ta t, t a t a a va cta c t. sa, cvat, t t a t a t cta ct t a t. i v, a a ca – tt – t c a ca. h a t t (a t t a): • st a (2 t ): T cvat t a t a. k ac a t c t t t t c. y ca ccaa t a t a a t , v tt, t ctt t t v. i , att a ac t t ca ta . • m a (3 t 15 t): T a t t t at t a t, c a t atc. i t t t, t ta t t t a ta . d t a t ! i ta , a ta . scc, a tat t at , t attt a . • l a (15 t ): T v a at tt. sac t t t ( “o” ct). ot t, a t a t tactc. A tt a t t a a t t tcat, tat a a ta t p p a. y va t.
42
© 2014 T Av
TypiCAl VAlue-killers 8 y a a n a a : i t a t atc av a t t ct
t at. s, v t, t at a . A t t a a a at tat v t. 8 s n a an: d caat c ac, t a t t
aa. i ca a a a “”, va a t. 8 s n a q n: T aa t va ta t v ca. T t av
t att t vt a t “t” t a. A, tat t a t ( t t c “f” ct). 8 y a “ qnn”: f v “?” a a a, cv tat a
tt a tat t t t t c ct. T, c a a t a at a t t av v . st, t t att. f a: bAd: “What college did you go to? I bet it was Berkley, am I right? good: “What college did you go to, I bet it was Berkley!” bAd: “Is that the CN tower in you photo? Are you Canadian?” good: “That looks like the CN tower in your photo! Are you Canadian?” 8 y a n a n a: i t a at a t. y a
tc t a ccaa t. o c, t a t t, a c t t a c. T t ct va, t t a t t t aa ( ct “o”). 8 y a an a qn: i, at a t, a t a at, a ca
c t tt at. rvt t tactc t c “o” ct. 8 s n n n: sc a a tat, a a t tv t. hv,
v t a a t a at at , v t cac c tatt. d t ac attt. T t t a t c. gt catv; a c a. 8 s a n an an : T a a t a t p p tc. 8 s z n n : T t t va a a t t t a .
d t v ac . sa “” a t at t . s atc , a t ca t t a, c tat. o t t a, a , tat av a a a t a j t ca at. n tat ta t Cvata Va aat, at at t acta a. ev t at tc, ctt vt at t t . Ta” a, a t” tat t av t va. w t, “at av T, c“ v t ctt*. *N: oc t , aa a t att a t ta ctt. T at ta c t T a a cvta a.
2014 ©T Av
43
temperAture theory – is she iNto you? A ’ ta tat ta vv a t t ac t tt. wa Cvata Va cat tat a t at, tat a a a c (t a c) a tat a t t. Va t t , t t ctt tact t cc. w vaat tat, a : h a nan ? d a n an ? w a a a n? i , ? Tat ca c a t ta c t. h a t c tac:
heAT her up T vv a t r p. s t t a tat a a a t tt. At t a t, t attact t ta. T a ct ca. fa, t t t t a t a cac (“at- tt” a t “stt t dt” cat). h a t at at t a t : 9 y a n a: f t t t v ct Cvata Va. 9 y a n n : T t at, t tt. f tac, a a
aa, at a t, av t a t at a t actc. T a t av t t t tat a t aa av a. i ca cat tat a t v , t v tt. T nn n. T a a t tat tat a tt a cv t. f tac, “i v at t” tt ta a “i v at ” ca t a a tt cac tt a “, t!” At a t v va a t t. lt at t a t a “ a ?” : bAd: “I’m American, and you?” i Aca, a av t c, t t t a. good: “I’m a New Yorker, but been living in SF for a while. In my heart, I’m convinced I’m Brazilian” A Aca t t tt t a. s vat a t cv at at. i a t t t cv tat v -, av a avata.
44
© 2014 T Av
9 s a : T t c a t t v vt aa
. la t a t at t t tt a. Ca, av cc t ata t! bAd: “I am an accountant at XYZ rm on boring street” good: “I dabble with numbers. Tedious work, but saving up to retire young and buy an island
”
eta, ’v t t , ct tat ta t a t t . bAd: “Nothing much, and you?” good: “Chilling in [part of town where you live], about to drive o to meet some Mexican friends!” s a jt a v, tat a ca a tat av . s ca t at a ct a a a . T ta a a a av at t . bAd: “I am here as a tourist” good: “Flew in from [previous place], here for business + fun
”
st, a t c tt ta v a a a. it tat av caact. mt tat, va ta . T a, ca at a c, t t. it a a ta av t t t t . w v a ca! * *N: T a c t t cvat t a a t. i t a ta, t av t, t t ccat a t a a t. sta , t t t a . s t a a a ctc. 9 s a a a j: w v a a tat ca tac t t tt.
hav cv tat a tav, a a t, a t at a cta t/ac. d t t t! hav a v c. T - t tat tac t . f a: h: i’ t t , y? y: I’m o to play beach volleyball h: o, , d y y t? y: I do! I’m booking us a ight to Rio, going to give you private lessons ntc tat a t ct a. y a a a a a t t av t a t at t a. fa, a a ata tat cc t tv t t a (ata a aat t t ct). s, tat a a t t a tt t . 9 s az a (a, a, n, a...): dt t av
va ccv t at t a a a. s a v aa cta t t t a. Ta cvat t c tc ta a a a a at catc.
2014 ©T Av
45
9 s az a a a: A a a, t t at a t a cta.
y aa t a . T a t xaan a a . y a vt a a t “haha” a “loool” v . y tt a t at a v t ccaa ct. y av j c ac a v ct. y t tat aa, tat tat ca t a. Ca, a tat t a n. d t act t a a a t a t . y t a an. s t a tt a tat , c . b a tat at tat a a , a tat at a a at a. 9 s-qaan: T a avac, t cct. i at t tta ac a
a t, t a a t . ft, ta tat a t t tat atc a a v at at. sc, tctv t t vc t tac. h a a: “I keep myself extremely busy and don’t have time for dates. I just thought I would get this app to see what I’m missing out on. ” “It’s a shame this romance is doomed.. we live on opposite sides of town..
”
“I have a business trip coming up.. too bad we wont get time to properly get to know each other..
”
i t, j c t a t vc t “tac”, t at. ev at a tatt t , ct a t ca t av t ta ta .
46
© 2014 T Av
TemperATure drops A ’ tat ta c t a a ta tat. T ca a v t. T vta ca a av t t t a t av t at v. h a t ca a t: 8 t a: g av v t . A cvat c t a, t av c t
t. f t a, a t a cvat aj, t tt t tat. i t c, t vt t . i a tat t cvat t t, j t c a .
pa . rn pcca t av t tt tc tat a . T y t tat t t at cv a t av ta a tat t tact. T a tat t a a at a at a t tat a actv. hv, at t a, t ac a t t t a t. T t y t. T, a av a a at cvat, t a t t at t c, t at c t t t a.
8 y n an a: i’ t a t a t at, t
ta tat t a t tat t av av a atv act. w v t caat tt ct tt t t cat. f , a t a t av t c t av t t tat t jn. wv, t t vac, a a at t a. gv a tt ata tct. f a: bAd: “Oh, you’re not in the mood to go out.. maybe we can meet at your place” good: “Oh, you’re not feeling well, I can come take care of you
»
”
it c tt t a t at j, ta t a cct a c ct t ac. ot t t a a ca t c t a t tc . bAd: “Come hang out at my place sometime” good: “I think we’re due for a pajama party
”
bAd: “Let’s go on a date some time soon” good: “I don’t think we should ever meet, we would get along too well
”
8 y a a-a: k t v ct , Cvata Va
c t t, av tt cac a ac . T a-a ct ava.
2014 ©T Av
47
Ata, a a a a a act at tat . f tac, t , c ct c a tat a a tt. Aa, t avata a a a t at t ta . T av t tt ta, a a “work + fun” a “might stay for an extended period, depending if I like it here”. d a a tta a-a a t av t t at. At a t ca vc, , a cc ct - ca t t caa . h a t c a-a tat : - y a c-cc ta - y a ct t a at - y at a t - y a a a a t a T - y t v a aat (t at, at, a at t) 8 sn n n an: y v at a t t . A t
vt c a tat ca t a . it tat tat ct ata a a c. watv t , t tat ta a ac t a a. i tat a t vaa ca t , ct t cvat t t t “never mind, talk later ” “long day I see haha, take care, talk later ”. ot, vt ac t c t tat a a. ot, tat a t at a at t. i a, Cvata Va t t an v, a Tat t t ta tat v a t nn. T a cat aac, catt a a t tat , t v vt aa at c. i t tat at , tat a cat ta a t; v, a c atc a cat at t . stat at t t a, t a t a t tat t t a c a t at ctt. T t t tact a , a tat ca j ac a t t tat ac t v t. gv tat t t , a c t a . T c tactc t a t a tat c a t.
48
© 2014 T Av
step 1: opeNiNg – get her chAtty! i cvta a, o a t a cvat t a ct ta. i T a, i a t t t a: an a n n na n a nan . T ca av aa tact t, t av c c t a t a t t v ct. hc, at a t t t catt, a t t ct. A tat a n atc a tat at a zn a. T a tat t ac t c, t, a c t ca at t act tat t atc. At a t accat, a t ca a tat ca t cv t c-c ca. i catt t, catat, t cvat aa a a ca t ct. ot, a a jact!
simple openers T atc * t a a a a t a c . i t ctt, t a n tat tct va a na nn at. T a t a ta a a ac t c. *N: mt T “t” avcat a a atc t a a t ct t. T vat t ac a tt t c. i t , a t ct, a t t. ga t tat t, a t v t a Ccv o (a t). T, t , a t tat ct a a atc, c a. A, av t t tat t va a t a. h a a: “
»
” T a avt. it’ ct a a t t a. A t a t a ac a . i t a, ca aa t t va tact.
“Hey [girl’s name]
»
”
sa a c ac a a. T a t ( at t cat).
“Yay, a late night tinder match! ”
»
o atc at at t.
“hum, so tinder says we nd each other hot, haha”
»
y a t t a act tat t v t. s c atc a t t. i t a a, a c t, a , ca aa a “because tinder says we nd each other hot, haha”.
2014 ©T Av
49
“Yep, you’re a hottie!”
»
i t t ca t a t t t t. y t’ a: “t, y’ t t bd y!”
ntc tat a t a -att at. T a jt ct tt tat a tat a jt av a t vt t c t. h , ac t, v a t t at t tat. h a t t act a t aat tat: 1. t sn tan - n n: gt t cc t a a nn. i a t t T c at a, t a t t a ctv t . At av a t t ca. oc a , t t a, tat atv c a tat av t tat. i t a a n a t a a att , t c. s t T a, t t t t cc t. s t vt c t t a. s a c , ca a t . i, aa, t a a, a act tat a cc a t catt t a T. sc t T t a at’ a, t a a Ccv o. u t ta: “Listen, I’m about to delete this app, it would be a shame to lose contact, what’s your FB name, I’ll add you ”. s acta t t av a a ct t fac. y av a c tt cac av tt aa T. m tat t fac t c “fB c” ct. i at tva (1-2) t t a, a t tc. s a a a t atc a v. s ta t t t a v. f- t a t Ccv o a tat t ac a c a . i n, t a actv a . s a t t a ca aa a t tca . gv t attt a, at t t a t vv. qc t a Ccv o a a. h a a- a: me: me: hum.. so tinder says we nd each other hot! haha me: I like your party photo, there’s this event you have to hear about! her: her: i td bt! her: c, t?
»
50
s a a t, t a a i ca v t step 2.
© 2014 T Av
2. t mna - nn a n: mv t Ccv o, t vtt a ca . 3. t wa la - n a n a a qn: T t t tact. y ca j t a cvat t aa. i t a t a, t a Ccv o a act. i tat ctt, a v t “step 2: f” (xt t).
t Aan sn tan At t, cat t at tt va. et a t a at t tat, a at a a t. f t c , cac t tc a! Act t : a atc t v ta t t t t a ? s a a “k...”. i t ca, t a “lol” t t a acta . wat t t . i t t, t at t t ctc. wt t : “Hey so sorry, but I am going to block fake proles” rac tat a at t t, v t a tt tt act t t t ac. A a a a a ct a t. hv, ac t v, a ct tat ca t act. i t , t t t a tat t “f” (xt t).
ConduCiVe openers n t t t aa a . h a va cat v vtt. i c , tat t a v a t t avac cvat tat. T a t t a cvat tt t a at ac t t a c t. a t: i t ct, t c t t ta a ct. T a v a cac t v ac. T, t t : “You’re super cute! “Cute photos! pc.
”
” – use “cute” instead of “hot” or “attractive”. T a t t a ta t stat
“Very cool prole, I’m super impressed!
”
h’ a tc. i a t at , at a a “t” atv , a itaa. s at aa acct. T at a t a v t t t.
2014 ©T Av
51
A nn a-n: Ca t t t t a neg (ttt j tdd t ). ov T, c t t a a ca a tt tat t attt. g t a at t a . “Nice seles! ” – ov a t a . T a t a aca ct, ctv t t tt . “You get the longest/most interesting self-description award t a t tt t t. A t ta. “Interesting prole...!
” – v ctv t t av t
” – s ’t t a ct.
a t: Aa t ct -ct. T v ctv ca at t t . st, av a t cat t t , ca t a j t t a ct. “You’re denitely not from here
”
“Wow, you’re a travel addict, I feel that!
”
“I’ve been to that place, it was absolutely amazing because of [...] !
”
“I like your party photo! There’s this event you have to hear about
”
t : y a ca t a tatt tat a a t t a at . T tc a va a t a t t t t t tt. f a: “Just hopped o the longest ight!”
»
i a a tt, a a c v t ct. i a , a .
“People are taking photos of me today haha”
»
At a , a t’ ca a cc ct.
“[something in a foreign language, like a compliment or half-compliment]”
»
52
s a a at t a ta ac. A a at t a a t aa. wt t a, t : “Aat i’ a ta tac ”
© 2014 T Av
g ann mn i a t a c, a t t a T atc cat a mt. T, cc t c av t a. i a t a tat av t t , av a tt t t a cvat. f a, i c t a t at ac . A c atc t a i t t. i ca t c t a Ccv o a t. f tac, i c a: “t at xyz taat a t t t! ” T a cac . A a a , mt a. i t c v t . i t t a mt, t a t tat aa T. T a t t-a. T, a t t t a act a av t t itaa!
b a ana: T t v tc a t a, t ana nn. ia, at t a ata a at a , ca t at tat a t t . T at t, t a a t a t, a a tt t a at a a t a! T t tc t at at t . w cct, v at. h a a a at: 1. T atc a a t act tat ct. At a t, i ta a atc aa. T t, i a a. me: Oh cool, you also do modeling i d’t, bt t t t her: n me: Are you sure, it looks like you are modeling for a sports chair. her: , y , t t t t me: hahah, lets do a shoot together when the new chair model comes out! her: h y!!! T t y !!! y, t t me: Oh no, that leaves us so little time to know each other. Quick, where are you from? her: , , d y? f t t , a a. i t fac, t a t av t ct t, t at att.
2014 ©T Av
53
2. o t ’ ct a a c ca, a j-t tt. me: her: s’ d d me: Of course! Tinder says we nd each other hot her:
t d y t?
me: I think you’re really cute, and I really like your car me: Lets take it for a road trip her: Y! her: Bt t’ t mx me: Ah really,! Whichcity? I love Mexico! her: pt edd
h y b t?
At t, a a a t t. 3. wt t , i t t cac a a t tt a a . i t ca a a v c a i t i c t aa t t. i t c t a ata t at. me: her: me: Cute photos! her: T y me: How’s your luck on Tinder so far? T “f” (xt t) her: t’ d t her: d y dy d y d ? me: I don’t know, just started a while back haha me: Can you be my dream woman her: i y y d , t d me: How should I know if I am? her: i , t d tt .. T t tt y d me: Wow Nicole, before I got your msg, I wrote those 3 words on a piece of paper to describe myself! her: , y y s t a, i t fac a a t a t a at. m “fb c” a “T f” c . 54
© 2014 T Av
en inan: T v t ctv atc a v ca ct t a . ivt t t a vt tat a va a a cvat. i a a, t at a cv vt a vt t t tat, v t acta av acc. w a at t at, ca aa a “I couldn’t make it, too busy that night”. d a a , i av at a add vt t t tat pa wa, t , a jt t at v a tv. i t t t t t t ct. i t t t t t atc (a fac, t c c) t t cat “omg, I just saw Pharell!” n t t t t a. it ca a a cv vt, at actvt tat a t . it tt t t a t a a t. h a a: “Time for XYZ festival/concert, get pumped!” “Wedding party on a yacht, bring some friends
”
“Driving out to [nice beach] ! Come for a tanning competition ” “hey, I’m booking a vacation to [paradise destination], you’re coming right?
”
o a t ca t aa t a. n t, ca a . r: T a a t. T, t a a t a va a a t . i t acct a “” vtat, t a a c a t t at t. i av t a a , a t t a c atc . T a, ca aa t t t c a. i t a cac , a t tat cta a t catv tatt tat t a cvat. ia, t t t a a t at . ot t t a a a tt. Ata a at t a a t ta a a. w cc, t t t a: t cvata “”. i a, o t ca c:
2014 ©T Av
55
step 2: the fillers – hAve A fuN coNversAtioN f v t a , t tat cvat t a t t “fB c” (t t). T acv t 7-15 ca c t . T cvat a ca. sav t at av fac (xd xt t). k at a t act a ta t tact t . h ca tat t , t t t a ta v. ia, av t a a tt c ; v, t t a t. y ca ac t ac t tva, a ctt . y t ct t stt p, ct v dt a Tt Ty. ev t a a a cvat, a aa. T a, t a t c t c, c a t. h a t t t cvat, aa vtt.
yes/no quesTions T t vtt t a t “Y/n” vat. T a, a a y/N qn ca t a cvat. T a, t t t a a , av t. it c t a t tat a. T t c t acta t cvat a a t at . T t ctv a t a tt a-tc, tat a a t a va, a a t a cct . T c t t, t t , a catv. sc t ca at aa at a a y/N an. T c a ca av a cac t cv t a. 8 “Omg, you own a lama?” 9 “Omg, you own a lama!” i t a t, ca a v a a . 8 “I like your travel pics, are you a certied backpacker?” 9 “I like your travel pics, you must be a certied backpacker
”
8 “Oh nice, do you own that restaurant?” 9 “Oh nice, you are a restaurant-owner!” 8 “Oh wow, are you extremely rich then?” 9 “Oh wow, you must be extremely rich!” y ca t “lets merge our nancial empires 8 “Ah, so you’re the hardcore party type right? 9 “Ah, so you’re the hardcore party type!
56
”
© 2014 T Av
”
eAsy quesTions T t a ta t ta t t t cvat. h a a: “Whereabouts are you from?”
»
ntc tat i t a “Are you from here?” ca t a / t. T “bt” v a cac t cc c t ct ct. T a v vtt t a t a t a t. i a tt, a “Oh perfect, I can show you the cool spots! ”
“What part of town are you in?”
»
T at tt t at. i t v c, t c a t t t a ac. d t a “where do you live?” ca t c ac a c.
“Are you a student or professional?”
»
i ’t avcat ta c at at t t, t t t ca at ’ a t. d t ct, tt av aca t tt a attt a ta a.
fun quesTions oc a, v t t tat t. h av t vt t t a, t tvat a t t a a a. “So how’s your luck on Tinder so far?”
»
T ca a t a t tta cvat. d t a cca a t a t. Jt j at t t t a a t cat t t cct. w a at cc a, jt a tat t a, t t . d t a av t a t T.
“How do you know [friend or interest in common]”
»
w av a c a a tt c.
“Any cool plans for the weekend?”
»
T cvata, ata t t a at t ct a a j. r, a c tt tt a -- at, t a t c at.
“What are you up to right now (other than swiping like mad)?
»
”
T a t a a v.
“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen on tinder so far?
2014 ©T Av
”
57
»
hav t v ca a . ia, t va-ca a aa .
Avoid: 8 Ta at tc , t, t ... 8 b tc t at 8 T “How was your weekend” a sa. At v a t a t v t
a. 8 Ta at t at t a a aat j ata 8 gtt t at at, v ta t a . i ta t
a, t t a. Jt act t t t a “k..” a “right.” a. h a tat act?
g a -nan st, av a cvat, t t t a. A a, a a c at a a a . i actv T, t a t , t t tact a t t t. T t a . Tt , a v t atc, t a t t t a. wat t t t t a t vat a ct . m a avt t :
i t av t j, t t t, c at. T tat t tat t a tt a aa caat. T a ac t t cvat a a a a a t t a.
build A fAnTAsy (if you hAVe noT AlreAdy) fata a , t a a at cvata t. i act, t t a t caat t a ata at v cvat. i a a, a tat cvat at a a a t C v .
58
© 2014 T Av
do you speAk emoJi? lv’ at’, cc a at a j. o T, t a a a. i a t t, a a t t ca t a. T, t v tat tat a t t j, ca t ttat. A c a a “haha” “lol” t c a . h a t t j a t t t avata: t s: T t t . t v a . V ctv t aa t a a a .
sqnn s: w t t a a tt a. bn s: u a ca t a . Av t a v aa a. bt t at a t a at t av a a.
c s: u a at . o s: i at a at t tat av a . Ca a .
k s: ua a t c. y ca a c ac a c t . bt t t t at t a a v a tt t.
cn s: T c tt ta a a ca t aat a . u t a ata t avaa t t t.
s s: u a t t at t a. s s: g a t t ct va t atca tt at .
w- s: u t o ct a t t t at o tt a t. A a t ta tat t .
un s: sa t -t . u t a . f tac, a a t a a “”. A t v t fac itaa.
t p wn: mt t tv t t t j. i a at tat c tt a a a a a , t a a vt, a t , T. i t ca, v t. t tt t t a at, a a s ta. Tt t ct c T t a t . it ca t a j tat ta . it a a ct a t a ; a, a fac t t t. watv , av c a. A an!
2014 ©T Av
59
i a, f a t t t a a t T, t fb C:
60
© 2014 T Av
step 3: the fAcebook close s at ta at, t av T a t cat t t fac ta. T a va a t. T t tat t v T atc a t t ca – fac a a c t . sc, t t t aa t ca ta acat t T a t at a. fa, t a tt a t t v ac t a ac cc a t a ca (a t t cat).
how To leAVe Tinder T fac C acv t 7-15 ca ( 14-30 a) c t . Av tt t at t ta T. r tat t f a t t a at. At t a t fb C, t t t t at cc t : “This app is a little buggy, whats your FB name, lets talk there
“
ntc tat t a t a t av t “y ” a. T a a ca t act, t a cca tat. fa, a t a t v a a a , t at a a ct ca t a’ t catt caact. i t a a a t cvat , t c t. T p p t a, t t a a. T ta a t -ta-a a (2-3 ) a t. T t a tt a tat t av t tat t . At t at, a t t a t t fb C. h a a: – at – me: How’s your luck on tinder so far? her: h h i t t
t t y t
her: d u? me: I just started, but seems quite cool haha me: Hate it, hahaha, are the guys weird? her: h
y y d
her: Yes me: Oh well I’ve heard german guys are very strange ;) me: French is a much better bet, trust me, we invented romance, haha her: h
yb t t
t g – y t b d tt y
2014 ©T Av
61
– 2 t a – me: I think so me: This app is a little buggy, what’s your FB name, lets talk there her: [ fB ] i a n , vaat a t t t tact t. i t ca tat a, t fb c at ta va. y av a tt t tt t c a c a fac .
The negATiVe CAses At fb C a a v cc at, t tat t v t t fac a. h t t a: h a: st cat a a t av c. T t a a jct. Jt t : “You prole is private, add me, it’s [your name] ” s waa ( a a):wata ca ccat, t v a t t fb C t t ctv. w wata ta fac, jt a ’t av t a. s a c a a v fb a. s n a n n: T a a t t t ca cc. hv, t t av a t. Av t t v act tat ca c at tat ca a a a t acatac. g t t c a c. Jt a “k...” : . s tat a t cvat a a t ta. s t c t c a. s n’ fa : T a at at t v jct. T c t a a. i n n : s tt, t cc at c. Jt a “sure, what would you like to know? ”. pt t t t av va. y ca a a “sure, ask me 3 really good questions, and if I answer right, we continue on FB ”. w t c t , t cvat t a tat. T t tat . y ca tt a wata. i v t, at t t at a a a t t “ok well I’m going to delete tinder, it would be a shame to lose contact”. i t t, c a v .
62
© 2014 T Av
The sponTAneous sCenArio u t cctac, ca t fb C a tat t t- va T: 9 y tat t a ca a t a tata a (av
itaa av t). 9 T tact aa t v T 9 s at t t tat v a a.
i t at ma a ca, c t tat a at t c. t t fb tC wata t t accta ca “d” a t T. T tt T a t, t fac t c atc a at t t a at. y t c ca av a t. sta a a t t t at a c t t a c. T t cat a t t a fac t c t, v t t v-a at a at.
2014 ©T Av
63
fac: t t ac cc
64
© 2014 T Av
commoN trAps: who is she reAlly? mt t, a ’ T t t t t t t. hav fac a tat ca t a tt a a a at a . h a t tat a a t t t.
The fAT girl in deniAl T a t av c t at ta ct tat a t t a acta . i av t aat cv ac t . T a at tv cct a t v t t a. fat a a t t tc t t t a , a t v ctctv v. T av , a ca ct t a tat av t at t acta . A : - i ta a t t t ? - i aa a ac? - A a tc ta t ? - A t t c- ac? - ha av t ac t? d ac t big ! tt. t, t. w i a t a t at a t, i t ts a tatav tcat a i t t t t, t a at t v !
ugly girl in hiding T a a t ct ct tat a t tt at t acta . oc t t fac, a tat t t a t c t t tt. watc t, t a a ! sa t t v ca, t a t t tc a t t tat. h, t a: - d fac av t? - A a t ta t ct ca? - d a t v t t t ct? - i v ta t t ? - i aa a a?
2014 ©T Av
65
i av t tat av a t av tt. At a, t a tt tat av a av t fac a av v t. w t, a t , a n a. g t * a a c ( t a “rtt d bd t fb”). *nt: g noT t tat t av t t t . T av t t t t a t t t t v. ev t tt ta t at ta t tat t tt. T, av a “ y d t” a ta a “oh you’re at work, send a sele! ”
gold diggers T cat t cvat ca. T a a c tat ca v a a t. u a v at, t av ca a aa t. A a t, t t c c a at t a at t. T c a: - i t t c ? - d t t c ? (ev t, caa, ca, a) - d av a j tat c v a c ? - d t c t ? T a t t t av t ct. i at t at t, a t vt t - vt v. Ta at a t t at t t, a t t t t a c a . y at a tct a aa. i t a t aa cv, tat a t jt a ca ta t t t t . i t aat tac tat ta t t t t fac.
66
© 2014 T Av
optimize your imAge r ac t t cat “ct t itb p” a t c t . hv, a t , av a fac a a a av t aa ca t ct a. T, a a “Acatac” a t at t a a t . T tc, a a t, a ta t ct. C, t a fac ac aa.
Add Tinder girls As ACquAinTAnCes i t t t avata, t t t t va fac tt a t : 9 Acatac cat t a ta * 9 T cat at t t a 9 T cat tv t a* 9 T ca t t a v t acatac 9 T ca t a a v t acatac
T tat t t t t a t j av ta v t a. A, t t a a v t a t t . A t ct t t t ata av aa t. ia, at t av a a va cat a . T, av c a tav atcat vt. A, a t itaa t fac. i at t t a a, jt t “V a” t a cc t! *N: ma a a a acatac a t at ca t . A a, a tca a aa t c t ca .
hide The friends you Are Adding g fac’ t a tat ca a a a . i a t t, acta t a a v t! A, T atc a a a. T T a fac tat t a a tat t t t v.
deleTe her from Tinder oc av fac, t c t at a a a t t T. T a, t a a , t a t tat a t ca at t t a. w a a t, jt a tat t t a. i t t t, jt a: “I don’t want to see how active you are with other guys ”
2014 ©T Av
67
reiNitiAte AND builD rApport over fAcebook oc a t fac , av ac a cta “a ”. ma t t a t at t t, a t vv atc. A, a ccat a c caa a c a t at. h i a va t t t t ac t tt v fac.
send someThing CuTe direCTly AfTer The Add oc a t tat a acct t, i c t ct. i a t : . T a t a cvat tt ctt t acta tat a c. i av a , at a t. ma a t. y ca t t a t t. hv, jt T, tat a cvat t t a cac tt a. i t ca i a a a , tat tt t t. hav a cv c c a ct aa. h t t ct tt a a tat. i a t , i i av t at .
opening up A fACebook ConVersATion it t a at t ct a tat v fac. u at tat a t, tat t cvat t a n. T v a at a t t a ct at t a. i t t t t fac cvat, a “hi! “hey you! ”.
”
A vc t ac t a c at cv t . T a ta. A cvatat t a. oc t , a t cat. i t a, t a a c . lc, a cvat fac c a ta v T. h a t t av at a: 9 da nan a : y ca acc a ac at (t, c,
) a a tt. i av a t t t, t t . b ca t t ta t c at . 9 wa : hav a at ct t ca . Av t t
cc. y t at t a a ta at a t. f a: bAd: “I can’t believe you went to that restaurant four years ago!” good: “Wow, that beach you just went to really reminds me of Miami!”
68
© 2014 T Av
9 y an n : A ct acta t ta a ta . i a t
c, ta a ct a t t a cat. T t t tat a cvat a a va. Ca, a t a. T, ta a t av ta . T tc va t a c a a a tat av tt v c. r t pa wa a (“evt vtat”, “T At Catt” cat)? wv a t a v, t t avata a t t . T a t t mt, t t tat c a t ct t t. s t av tt c a a t . 9
caa h: i t a v cvat, a j t a ata, t aAa . T t ac ta tat tat a attact t t ac. t tt, t cat c t a tat ca vv at. T a t, t ca t t t t av t ca t cvat. qc tc tc c a. f a: me: Hi! her: h! s t a t, i a cv me: I’ve chartered our ight to paris her: y, d ? gat, t cvat tat me: It’s waiting, what are you up to right now? her: i ’t i’ t ... n i av ta t cvat at ct me: Working at this time, that cant be healthy
. What do you usually do to relax?
9 y an nn n: y av a tt t at t a v .
T t t t a t at. ot, at t t . b ca at t “” cat t t a a a. ma a c a a a tt cc t. A t T, a a t a c t t. sc a fac, a t a, cat t fac et t ectc (v cat). i at a , t c, at a a a a: “hey, are we still friends?” mt ta tat a at t t. T ca t a act t t a c av.
2014 ©T Av
69
rApporT builders f fac, i t ca cvata tc “f” ca t a t ta t c T. o t a, t ctt v t a t a t ac t fb c a at a . o fac, t at t at t ctca tat tat a tt- a at. T t a t at t av a t at . ftat, at v t ta at tv, a av t a t t t. T, aa t t jct c. T cat a c t ta t -ta at. A, act a tt, vtt aa v. o t , a v t ta at tv. d’t t attt- c. w a a a t, a t cc*, a t t t at t t t “have you ever tried that? ” “we should totally do that together next time”. ia, a t c a a tat tat a t t ta at . *N: n tat a T, tat t t t av cat a . s a t t t t t tt. hv, a t ta tt a aat at t t . f tac, a t at a v, a t “I do accounting, it absolutely fascinates me! Did you ever like math in school? ” A at t ta t at , t tat ct tat a ta . b at t a a cat a ta a a t. y ca t aat aac acc. h a tc t a t t a’ at: 9 What do you do to relax? T ca a a t . it ca a t t t
at t c. 9 Are you the party type? ot, t t jt tat t. y ca t a tat a
c t cvat. Aa, a, a t a t at. 9 If you could wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be?y ca t a a
taa ata a c tav tt. 9 What’s your favorite place to go on vacation?sa t t v . 9 What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done? ba t a, ca ta a ta. 9 What do you do for fun (apart from Tinder)? T a ca a at a a.
T t t t ctt, t t t . A t t av t t a t cvat a a a cv cat. hav a c a a a t a t t.
70
© 2014 T Av
s a A t a v t t cc : - w t at t - g t - At - gtt a a t t i at, t ct t c tat ct . T av t vt t a t t t a . T a a ct a ta ta jt a . f t ct . i, a , a t ta a t, a a . T t t a a t ta a . y a acct t jt . ma ’t t t-a a tat a a a a. eca a c t t a ca a a t a caat ( t ct).
A a a t t t ac t tt, t cvat ca vv t t ct: 1. T tc t tat, v a, a ca a t a-t t ta (t ct “sx t tq”). it c t t at att. 2. y t c a at, t t av t, t a a t- a av t cvat t t t (a ct “c t d t t”) 3. y t ta t at a aa a t t (xt t “stt t dt”)
2014 ©T Av
71
sexuAl escAlAtioN techNiques sa caat t a t a a a a at. T t a ta t t aa a aat t -ct . T caat t aa t t av a. At t tat , i c a a caat a tact ca t a t a at a a ct a. T t , t a t t a t t at t ta t ac. T a, tat t cta, ca t cv. s t t av aa v cat. Cat a ata a t a caat. sa t v a, t cv t a , a a t caat a ata t at t ta a t ac. T, a a t tc, a aat t ct v tt. r: g av t t t a t a t caat t a t av v t. y t a t t cca t. s a t a t t tat at a a a tt aa. oc t a cc, ta a t ac a c tt t at. d t t t t t t t av t .
Joking And misinTerpreTATion n tat a at v fac, a t t a tat ca tt a. T a a, a a, ca c caat t. d t t t aa a a t av c a t t a t j. h a a: Are you inviting me over?
»
or Are you inviting yourself over?
T a at a t c tat t at ( atc a v c)
Wait.. you want me to apply some soap? / tanning oil?
»
T t t t t
Are you essentially asking for a massage?
»
w a a a a a at .
Uh oh, does that mean you’re going to booty text me late at night?
»
w a t at t .
Great part of town, do you want to move in for a few months?
»
72
/ can I move in for a few months?
sc a a t, a ca a. i a, a “k perfect, do you snore?” T, a , ct t “ok, but will you keep me awake with other funny business? ” i a tat t a t, t’ .
© 2014 T Av
i t a , ca a t a a t tc. h a caat ca tat catc: My legs are so sore from that work-out, can you give me a massage?
»
i a, ca ta at t ca a v t. s a ca t t t a, a t a ta at .
I left the AC on for too long.. come provide body heat?
»
T a a , t ca a caat
[bring up a fantasy].. but do you think we’d be able to keep our hands o each other?
»
fata cat a a a cvat a a t caat t tat a a ct.
f a t av t, t t t t. ev t a a, av t a at. T a a cc. s a t a t ta t, t ta tat t t a t ta jt .
inTimATe role-plAy i t a, a a t a a a at a caa at, v t av t t t . T t t v j a ttat ca a ac t , at ta tv. i ac t v actat aa, t at c ac a a -a. y tat t a at t ta. f t a t t t , t at actc. s t t: 9 ct (at t, t t) 9 a, a 9 t 9 cé (a avt, t t fc vat t) 9 (, av ac t t tat, t t ca )
y a tat at ca tac t t t a vt t a a t.
“xx”. i t t ccat,
st, t tat t a t a a , t a t vv t t a j a ttat. ma t t a t, t va t a t ac. sa c ta t at ac. i a t , ta a ct a a t. s aa at a!
2014 ©T Av
73
i a t t ca t t v tac, t j t. s t a t c ca. s a v t c tat t a a (a a ). ecaat v fac ca av ca t a t!
d. snn’ a aan w a t j, d. st a v t at. T at tat c t ac a a tt t a at. h t t t at j at at t tat -a t T atc. T av aac 9 t 10 . hv, t a atc v t . h t vt v t t ac t jt a tt a t a t v . i cat a t vt t , a caat t v t t at att.
dirTy TAlk And dirTy piCTures f a t, i tt “D p” t t itt vt a cvct . T i t tav t T mav a t a ca a c c t va T atc at t a t. T at at t: t a act t a t t ! At a , i a t t t a t t t. i tat cat t mav’ tc a , i a ca t ct t tat ct a at t ac! ft, c a t snaa aa a . T a a tat atatca t t a at 1 t 10 c. ma cta at t t t t a t t . nt, t t caat tt a vt a ata t at t ta a t ac t cta. T a, v t tt t ca aat a . w tat t, t tc t a t . s aan: k a tat act: at t caat t a t, at aa av t t! h t at t: y’v jt a t ta a a a t ta t. y ca t a: “Ok.. but I’m just coming out of the shower...should I still send it?” i v t , jt a “never mind, haha” . N n a n a n. i t, a t t jt a t a at (t t t av a atv attactv ). ga act. h act t a a t, t t aat at caat t. o t t a, t , a a t aa.
74
© 2014 T Av
At a t ta a ta. it t t , t t. At act, a: “I’m actually tanning naked...
”
w , t v t t . A aaat, a tat a c t ata. oc t c a ac, t t at t ta ct. y a, t t ct a t t aca. d t t t t! w a a ct , ct t t “yummy” “sexyyy”. fa, t t t, a: “I just took a really naughty photo.. I don’t know if I should send it” i t, t t t t a c c! ma a at at ct a tat av t t t. A, t t a t a ct t a t. A a a a a cat t t ac a t t j! i a, t t at t t : NAked + towel > NAked but oNly pArtly reveAliNg > dick pic d a: T av ca ct t a t t t c t t av t . A at at t t at a t c c. T t tc at t, t t a t , v tt, a v. w a. a at t av t , a c t a t t a ct , dc t t at t t a a a t at t. s c c t*. *N: A a caat tactc a a t ctv t av aa t . i t at t , t t a, i t c t a v vt t. fa t “t” t av a tat t t. oc av caat t t t, av a t c v a av t . T tactc t a a cta ( ct), t t ca a avt. T, actc a caat t ta at t a. it t t a vac a att a v t act at t at.
2014 ©T Av
75
closiNg coNversAtioNs AND keepiNg it hot y av t at a av t a j. y t t t t t at ca t a t a ac v. y t t t t ta t t. utat, t av a t t a ta t a avac. sc t aa av a t cac ca t a. T, t av t at , a actvt t t a, t cat a t. T a t- t av t a t t , tt tt a cct at. h a t t: 1. w at, t cvat t a a. T a a a a a t cct. 2. b t c , a av t a t. i a actvt tat t va, c a: 9 g t t 9 g t a tat t 9 g t ca av tat t t a 9 mt 9 g ct
3.
u t : “Let’s talk soon, maybe even in person ”
4. h act t t t a t t. i t a t tat “maybe”, t t a a av t t t t cat. i act tv t t t, v t at t. b a, ct acct t t . i t t : “Ice-cream or drinks? ” 5. fa, a a . T a, a ta t aa t a t at ta. mt t t c-ca t ca t ctt. i t t t tat t at a . oc i acta t a t a t at, t a aa acct t t ta. T tc t t t t acct a t, a t ttca t, ctt. dat a ta t t cat.
76
© 2014 T Av
tt a at at
2014 ©T Av
77
types of girls you will meet oN tiNDer T tactc aat t cat a tat at a va . T av a t t ct t . w a tc t v cat, t ca a t t a tat at c t a t ta a cac a t . b t a a at t a , i t a t t a t ta tat a ca a t t.
The lone TrAVeller T a t ct a at a a t. m t, t a t . y a v c atc t ! s t at a t. pt t: at t t at t. At at a a t, t t c tat tt a t . i t a t, a t a “Ah perfect, that leaves us plenty of time! ” At a t, t a t t ta t t.
The group TrAVellers ba! i t tav a t , t ct t t. f , t a t a t tav c at ct t. it t ct t t t c t tt t. A, a a T t t t t a t t ct t vt. ev aa t t a -- at, a at a t a ca a ct. h ct ac at t t a t at t ta t t at t . i c a t ta vt t at i tt a a tav. it t t a a et t va , t t tt t t a a at. At a a tat t, a a t t t tav. s T t t t t ac vt a a t t a t a ca aa . n t a, t t a t tat. i a a a t a tav, c vt t t . f tac, a at ta at a vt a at. T a, a t a c a t a . d t ct at atc.
expATs And foreign exChAnge sTudenTs T a t ct, t t a t t ta a . T a t T ca t t t t av a aat ca cc a a va a tt . y t av a t t cvc t t t .
78
© 2014 T Av
pa t act tat a t c a tat a cct t ct. o t a t ac a a acct. T a a t t!
older women: TAming The CougAr w tt t a a, t a a ta t t : d n nn a: s a a T. s a t t at t t t . b t act tat a c, a ca attactv tat t ac. s nn a a n: T a tt. s t t a a a. i t t t tat t a a a “yes I am, does that intimidate you? ” y ca t t a tat av a a c v. s t. s a n: T at tt. s t t- – jt at t ct a. i aa : “thanks! It’s because I don’t smoke and I exercise regularly ”. i t v t a “in fact, you look quite young, I would guess [age inferior to yours]”. s at v tat. Aat t at tt, tat t a a t a . o a t ca t t atc. s tat av a a tat a t aa t ta .
models T a t tat av a t t t fac a T . T v ca t ca t av a : t t va t t t t. f t v t , ta at a va avata. h t ct t. i a a v attactv a (8 av), t : “Oh cool, you also do modeling! ” T a j, t t t tat. T t i t a c k a v v ctv (a tta t). mt av - t, t t acta t a t t. T at tat t a t acta a a a , a t t. i t a a , jt v t a . i t av ct , t t : “Oh cool, you also work in fashion
”
y ca t a tat av t aa a a aa t at. y t t t tat a t c t. A tat, atc t t ac, a t a tat t a at.
2014 ©T Av
79
T a a ca i avcat tt a act. T tt tat tat t t t a t t ca. T a a vva a a a a a T a a t t ct t t. i t t av cc t c a , a t a a, at at t at.
coNvertiNg wArm leADs f a , tt a at tat tc t tct at T a. fa t t ca t a a a t at t t a t a a t t t t. mc t at cc at t- t v cat. Ata, t v t t cc t at v a. r t “Let’s talk soon, maybe even in person ” t t-? T a a cc tat v . ia, cc tat a t tact v fac. nata, av caat t t t tat -a, t a t ca. hv, t t , a c t t at, a vt .
menTion The dATe in ConVersATion And CheCk for TemperATure T a at cvat a t a t cac a tv act. “I’ll explain that to you when we meet up ”
»
u t atca t at t. h ct t tat acct t t a at, t aa cvc.
“Are you as funny/witty/cocky/cute in person? ”
»
s a a v tt . sc a t , a a va.
“I haven’t met anyone from tinder yet, but I actually feel we’d get along great!
»
”
y a a t tat a a t tat a tca a a v.
“Do you have to work early in the morning? I don’t want you to be tired if I take you out
»
”
T at ca t acc a t at t a t. it tat ca at a . it a at a t attt ta t. A, t t at c t t. T tat ca at t t t tat a tt at t at. T ctt t at t t t a at t t tt.
i act tat t a t at c, t t a a at. i act tatca, v at t tt t at!
80
© 2014 T Av
dATe sCheduling b ca: t t avaa t t t a! i t v cat, t a t- at t a cvat ca tat t t t a. h, t a a t- t av cat tat act avaa . T, a t a t: check for temperAture > offer two dAte optioNs > Ask wheN she is free i t t t a, a “great, we’ll plan something then” a ct t t a cvat. y av jt cat a t- ta a a a at*. i acta , a “ok that actually works great for me too”. gt t a t a t, a t t a c ac. i n n a n n! A t, i aa t t a t c ca a t t . *N: At a t-, t tat a cvat aa. T a a “hey ”, at t , t cvat ac t a a, a t tt t tat t at. At t ca at t t a, t a t ta at a “, a t t t ta”
2014 ©T Av
81
ANti-flAke protectioN g a a cat. ev a ac t, a a a t cac at t v at t. w v ca aat a a c, jct t ca at a t’ . f , v at a a - ctt, ca av t t a t a. s cc t c? w a a t t at a a’ ctv , Jac nc’ caact a a: “i t d i t y d tbty”. b at, t a t ctt. h a t t a a: - T jt t v t. T a tat a a at t t a catt, t at ca a ct t . sc tv, t t attac c va t a v a. T ct t ta. - V (ca t at ) accta cacat, t av t t tat c av t accta. f t t t, av aa v a t act tat ca c av. i av t at a ct a tv t, t cac. A, a ta t a aa t cac t “c ”. mt tat, va t . A : cac a at t ra g a cctac? ev a a v v , ca t c t cac a t at aac a t v. i t t , t tv t tat t a t c a v. b ca, t t tt c a t av t t aa. h t aac tat a at : rt at tt t at, i a: “Are you reliable?” T a, a a t t at t . T ctat t a tat t a cat. At at cat v cac. s t t t t a at a t t t ta. T a t t av a t ctt. i t t a: “I’m just wondering, if we make plans will you cancel last minute? Sorry I don’t do this very often
”
n a t ct tat t att cac at t at t. sc t t t, cat a tat t t a a t . i, t t a a t at. At t t, a av a tat t v c a t. T t t a t , t tt a c!
82
© 2014 T Av
DeAliNg with flAkes utat, att t, a ca t a. At t, t t a . i av a a , t t ca av tt a a v? hav a ac, i a c a v t catv v a va. i av c t t t t . i a cac, a t jt t t a t ca at t. T t t t v c a c ac a a a at. i ta , t a a a av t ct at t. et: cac at t t T t t at t. a . y tat t a a. i act, y t act t t t t tt. sc a va, t t t t jt a . f a, ca v at a cac: “Ok no prob, I’ll invite someone else
”
gt t at a at t ac a ca a. A, av a a at tat a vtt acta t . h a ct t. i i a a c vt a a i at at t acca, i a vt t t at a t cac v ta a avaa. itat, cac, a a c . A c tt, t t c a at. s a cac ca a v at t tat. T t t c a, av t at a t vt t t t a t a t t , a c c. ( dt d t xt t)
2014 ©T Av
83
techNiques for stubborN meDium AND colD leADs A t tt at tt at t T, a tat t a a t t t a. et t a t tat a t av a a ctac t t a t t ca cc. Cvta t , a t t a a va. y t t t a ca cat. la t a at t a a: acatac t v ca t. T a t c at a vt a ca at jt t t. s ca tt at t a t act a a t. i a ta at tac, av cac t a. ita, ct ta a t ca tat. p c t fac a itaa. occaa vt t t c vt actvt, t at t a a a vtat t t: “Headed to special party at X rooftop ”. d t ca t t t v . d t t t vt ta v t . T a t a t a -- at, t t a acct a vtat t t c. ua, t tta t t, t v . y t ca - t a a a. i t av t t vtat, t t “hey, are we still friends?” fa, t t a v . T at t T tat t v ct t a a tat av c tata, a t t a, t t ca. i c tt ac t a tat !
84
© 2014 T Av
tactc - t at
2014 ©T Av
85
DAte iDeAs AND frAmiNg T at t a a. A a v, t a a vtt t . y av v t t , t jt tt a t t t t t t. i act, t a t a t at, t a cta. s a t t a act a t t a t at ct t t a t. s, t a ac taat vat t a a . ft, a a aat at, a t va a ca at v cv. T at t ata fac cvat. y t ac t a tt a at t t a jt a . k tat t av a t at t at, ca T t at t a . i t c ac t a t av ctat a-at taa, t t : 1) T at t t at v : T c r p. ma at , t t t ta t at. T t tat t t ca t , t t a t t . o c, c av t a av , t at t t t at c ta ct. 2) T v v caa: Act a ct at t. y jt at t t cc . y ca tc cvat (tav t, at, c...). s t av t t a t a. T at at a a ctt. it c a t t a t a t a a t a a c ca at ta a at a a. A t tt, t ctt t, c t av t a .
wAlk in The pArk T t at t, ca t a , t a at a t. d a t, t at a (t’ a 30 t). o c, c , av t t t a ta, a a ac. i t t, ca v a tt . ia, t a a . i t, t t c ca. T t tat t av t a ata a v. T t t t a t t cta t acct t -ctt at t, a tat a a. oc acct, a t t t c c t , at. T a cac tc: t a t ac at aatt a c cta a ac t at. y ca a a cta t t a c t at. nt, t t c at cat.
86
© 2014 T Av
Coffee or TeA T at t a v caa. y ca t a c a t at . mc t a t a, t t t t cta t ac t. oc t ca tat t a, cvc t a a t at. i t t at t i a t t at t. T a, i t at c t. o c, i a t t a t a. et t caé a ac t i a a t aa. i t t t ca, c at at t.
iCe CreAm T a ct a t tat a c t a t. i av a c ca t a , i c t v a c. y ca a t at t c ca t v at t, a t a t a a ct at. i a ’ , at a c ca t ta v . s a t tav a t t , c t a t a aat . i t acct t a ac a c ca t t t at at ct at ( t t).
grAbbing A drink neAr her plACe i t v a t aa, a t a c t . T ca , t acct t t a ca. ot, a ta a cac a av v t t ta . wt a ca, av a tt. s a a t t t a t t. wa t t a a a -acc . it tat a t t ac a a tat a v. b a tat a a a c , a a tt at tat t . A t at a c ca attact, a t t: “I want to grab a real drink with you, I do not live very far, let’s drive there so I can drop o the car, then I’ll take you to a cool place nearby.” i t ct attact, aa acct. pa a vt *. i t t t t t, t “t t tc”, a t t a a a. n tat av a a , cat v ac a . y av a a t tt t c a at ac ( t ct tc). *N: i t acta v t a tac a ct a, t a c ac t a tat . ev t i v a t a, i aa cvc t tat aatt a t t a a.
2014 ©T Av
87
grAbbing A drink neAr your plACe C a c a aa. i t a t t a ca t t t ac t a a t ca ctact. i t v a tt t ac t a, t a a t t t v t. i t ca, t a t tav aa t aa a t. T atv -vtt, t a ctv ta t at t ca t a cac t v. w vt , t t tat t a a ac. i tat, a ac at at t. oc c at at a va, at aa a t cvc . i t t : “You have to try the cocktails there. My treat ”. T a ct a a tat a. oc a t, a tat ta 30-45 t t c a ccta a ta a . o a tat ca. b t , c “ t t at” a acta ta t tt t a t cc t . T av t aa t av. b t t t , av a at t a t at t t t ( “stt Td- t d ” t t cvat t). y ca t ca cat : “Come, I’ll show you where I live, it’s only two minutes away ” s a t a. s at c a a t “ohh you think it’s going to be that easy don’t you!” At c t t t ct t: “It’s not what you think, I just have some really good wine and I want to show you my place. I promise I won’t make a move on you.” i t at a , t a a . y av t a a cat a a v , t c t a t v . T a t t t cat. h a a t t a. s a a: “But wait, we still have to pay!” Jt a .
88
© 2014 T Av
t c ca g o a ca a at avata ct t t at a av t. hv, a cca ta: N a n a! T a t t ca a a v t a t aa . s ct a a at a a. T a t t at t ! T t ta t a at a t cta tt a ca t . f a, ca t a a ac a t a tat t t t t t. i t t a a t c ca, jt a t v a a t t a tt ( t t t a). i a av, jt a a ta c tat a ca. oc acta t , a a a t at . Cat a tt t a t t a t c ca. s acta a t t !
inViTe her To someThing Cool you wAnTed To do AnywAys i av actvt ct t, vt a at t att a ca vt, vt a T atc t c a. T ca t at t a actvt at acca. T ca a atv vtt at, t v tt . f a, i vt a ct, i t T atc t t a t. T a, i t av t vt c tt t a at. ita, i t ca t actvt i a a t . sc t- acta tt a t t ta t a a . it’ t t t! A at a, i a t t a, i cvc t c t t a t . nata, t a a a t . y t vt a a atc t a actvt atcat. T t t at t tact. sav c vtat t a c a. n att at at t ct, t act tat t t cac. g a a tat a a a t t at at. T, a t t a t tc a t t ta a. w t a , t t at t t. T t av t a a t, av aa tt a t t. mat t a at a tc. T t tc t t ct.
2014 ©T Av
89
logistics: the key to success i a ctat a at tt t a tc t t . T t jt t a “ at a”. T a t c t: - T vt a a ac a , t av ac t - T c v, t t at a t a a t - T tat a tat a - o c, t av tt t c a t av at wt T, av t cct a t at at t t t at. y a act a t . fa t t t tc va. i t : a t a, a t a. T a tca t t t a t cat, t a tat a .
The dATe loCATion T cat ct t at ccv cvat, aat a a aa ca tac. i a ct t cat, t a t at t tc a . h a t a ta tat a a c: - s nx : T a, a t at t t t v. i a tt ac t ac, t c t tact. A, t a t caa tc a ca t tac. i a t at a a, a a t ta t a . i a tt ca, t a’ ac. i cat caa tc , t cta c t t t caat t. - inn n: Cvat c a t a t a tt éc t ta at. T t a c ac a a c ta a acta at. - px : i i cat a t . y t t t cvc t t t a ac tt at at t. T at ca cac cc.
90
© 2014 T Av
meAns of TrAnsporT T a t t t at a t a ac a v tat t t tc t t. h a t t t : - d n a a: i c t t ca, t t at t a av a c a a a t av t at. bt a a tc. i t tat a a t v, a atatv c a ca ( acta ca). y ca tat t at t v. - ha a n a: A a t v ct, t t a t t , av a ca v a . T a, a t t a av c a t a. i a j, av t t aa. - kn anan : i a t at t, c t v. s a ca v t t a, c av . - o an an: i t av a ca a t tav t at, a act a . A tat a t a t tat at t . m a avt t a a vat v t t a u. T c a c c ta ta a ca .
your home hav a c ac a tat ta v a a ca a ct. T tat at t ca t t a, cca, t v tat t. h a t t t v t t t a . - t an: i a t a t , a a t t t at a ca a. y t a, ct a t . n at t t a t t c t. i a av a a . w i av t a ac, i ta a t t ca t a a “i’ , i a t ct t av ca tt...” - ha a n : At a acat a , t a va a jt ca. T v t a tt c ac t . it a tat a a tat t a t at a at ac. - ha a a a: w t a t ac ctca v, t at t a t t t c. i c a d h . T t v t a at . watv c, t t a c t aa . T acat a ta t c at tat c. - t n aa an an: i v t t , aa tat t v t t . T t t tt t avac. ma ct c t t t t t va.
2014 ©T Av
91
- Aan n: T t t av c at t t . Ct a a t c t vt tt t . Tt , t a a c! - ha a a an na n n: bv t t, t ca t a ’ c av t t t . - ha n na : k t t ac, t t t. T a, t av t t a t t t a. T a at t at a a ca a t t av . b t t, t ct’ a t t t ct a ca a a t aaa vaa act at. p tca a t at cc. mt av c at t a a aa t tv a at vt t. lc, tc t t tat act a t a t at t . y t v c actc - jt t t at a at a. ltc t t ac tat t t a. i at, cvat t v t t. y t av t a t cvatat - jt t a t t t at tt ta. T t ct cta avc t v t .
92
© 2014 T Av
stimulAtiNg topics AND liNes to use oN tiNDer DAtes T ct t c ac a a tt t at. g T, ca, t t at t v. ma av v vt t a at . T a a t a t a a cta. f t, t c v a caa v. i , ca att a t ta at a. A t tt at at, aat cc a a t . i a tt a, t t a cc a at ct a at. sc ata t c t t i c cta a t: .tav.c. i c, c a a a t a a t t . f t t t ct tat t av t t c at at t a, t ta c caat aa a a ct v. T a a , t a ca cvc t ac .
AVoid killing The mood h a t t t at av ta at a T at: 8 m, an i: T t c cat i t a t at c t t ta at
tv. Jt fac cat, at t a ta at . w a t, a t vat t at a a. o c, a t, t av a t at . k t t a tta. 8 w: nata, av a a, t t at tc t at. ma a t a ta
at t ! m tt “i ’t ta at at 7”. ev t a , t a t t cvat. y a t -at t a t ta at a jct. 8 p an n: i a av a t at t at t t tc, t a t
t . y a t t av caa , t a a ca at. 8 sn n: y at t a a , av v a atv t. 8 t ex: i a t at , a t t . y t at t t
ca tat av aa. sa, t a at . mt at at at t t cvat, t t ta. wat att , t t at. 8 Ann a n a: T t at t at . i a t t
t, c t t c t at, t t . s t cc a ca v . g t t -. w t cc, t t cvat a ac t t t a cat.
2014 ©T Av
93
fun TopiCs And lines s at t t ta at? pt! y ca c tav, , a... T a t t a t cta. Ata, a t a t tat t attact. h a tc tat a cvat a cat a t: 9 sxa nan: At a a a t tat ca tt a v aa
t at v, ta t a ac t a a cvat. f a, c a tat v ccat, t c c ct “a ca t a aac! bt at’ t t t t a?” T c t ac a c at c ca t ta at. w v ta at . o c, a av tt t. Av a a t. T ctctv. lt tat t a a at a tat t. wv ta at , c t a actvt, ca a aac t. 9 w a x ? ot a cvat, a a ct .
Act tt a tat t t. At a , a: “ a t ta t ?” ot acta av t tv t . ev t, t a t a cat a ca. s a a tat cat t. A attact t at, ca t t a a t t t at. 9 A n tn n? T at aa a t t at t a cc
a. T t ct tt t a: “A T t ?” s a ca ta a T act. 9 ta a a tn a: T t av a t t at. pt a “” , ta
t a a: “s... a T av t a?” y ca t a at a at c. i a t t, ta at t c t a. w a at , t a aa av a. A c a tat t t t. i at t, a t t at , t tat t t t. s t t ct tat a a T t. g at t tat t a ca, t jt at . i t t t t t t t va a t t tat i a t t t t t attac t c. f t t: i t dt t T/g . i td Td dt d t t d y . w i d y, td t b ty t t t t. e t dd t t t, ty bt ttd y d tt ty td t . T y t , t t t dt t , ttd dy tt xt y b dd ! s dd t t t! i ty td i t ttd.
94
© 2014 T Av
9 y n n: ev t t aa t, i v t a tat ct t
jtc. y ca t ta at t a t at c tt ct. st a T, t t t t c a t fac. A a a a c t a act t t t v t v vt. 9 i tn an a aa x? T a tc t c ca t a t a tat
t ct a t . i act, T a a at a t t . ea t tt ta t a c c t ca t a t t t t vt t. it a t t a atc t t acta v T. T a, tat t a at a tat t t T tct. w caa acta a at t t, t ca t t attact, t ca T. 9 t , n a tn a a n: i a t T at, a t t
at a tat v t ca a t . Ta at t av a c a a a a. sa t ct at t a tat a aat tat t t a . T a ca a at t at a a a tt. T av t a cta t t act tat t t t T. T a a ca a t t t cvat. T attact, t a t t t c t cat ct a a a t. s na t t aa, t tat t a tt t a. i t a, a tat t a ta a t ac. st, tat cta ( a a a ), t t a tat a a. l t catt, ca vt ct a v ac t t a t. sxa nn ca t a ttt, t a a a tat . wt t t, t cvat a t at av t . pv a t a t cca t attact a t t t ca t ta ct. i a caat at , at ct, ca a t t a t t at tat cvc t t t t . T t jct t a cat.
2014 ©T Av
95
c ac: t
96
© 2014 T Av
settiNg the right objectives A ct t t a n x. T t cavt at att t. T a atc ca a a a tta a at. T t : av at t ta t v? y t a c t . A , at c, a T a a t t tac. i ta t t ca t , . At a, a atc at t cac. d t at ta t - tat t a’ j. y jctv t : an aa a a a aan n a x . T v cat aat t at a a t a t t t. mv t t t a ta va t, t a t a a t a a. p tc a cvat t at t a t t. i t a a t c, t c:
i cta a a a cct, actc t ta. T a t at ta t at. At tac a ca ta a t ac. h a tac caat accat t c: 9 sa na a: wt at t v fac, ca cvc a ajt
t t a tat at. 9 sa a: it t cvc t avt t a a ct
. T a at t a tt tv t. i t d. st’ a, t vt v t t ac ta! 9 sa sx: ov fac sacat, caat t t ta a t ct, t
t av tt c a a a t . 9 gn aa a a: y ca cvc a t c a a at ac
t a t caa at. it a at a cta! s t a a ca t a, a jt a ta c t t T. oc av t a t tt, ta a atv ca t . f t t, ca a c t v t tac t ct c ( t “wt t ” at t t cat). i c, t ctv c tat ca vc t a’ t. s ta t. T at c c. T t ct a t t t atc a ct a. i act, t t a t v !
2014 ©T Av
97
pushiNg the sexuAl teNsioN iNto overDrive At t t, av cvc t c a t at ac. i t “t t” tc a t a, t t t t vt a aa cta. ot, cvc t “ v”. i av t atca tt , ca t t tt . f a: t a “c v a ac”. et a, t t a t c. s t acct t c v t a a (cvata ) a t a aa (tc). hv, c c at at, a t t a T t at at c cc t t. T t cvc t tt t t v cat: “I promise I won’t make a move on you” T a t t ’ a a. s a a c a t ac cvt a . s tat ca tat ta t tt t a a v a, t t v. b t t a, a t t at t ct *. *N: A a t tca ta, vt t t at ct. i t a aa at a av a a , ca c t ca t a t a at t. hv, av a a tat t j tt t , t at t v t . oc at t av t a, tat t a t ct t at t c t . T a av ! y t “ i ’t a a v” t v vt ca t t t a a. y a t a a j t caat t a t, t at t a t a t a t a t t v. T cat a vt a acta a t caat c at. h t a t c .
98
© 2014 T Av
where To siT A t t t ac, t c a t . T t aa av t t at. nt, av a cc at t t: 9 ca: T t at tat ca a ac tt aat tt. i t t ca,
a t a t t t ac t. o ac, i a a a ca ca tat c a t t . i aa a: “hey, lets see if we can both t on here”. nt t , ’t av a cc t t c a tc . 9 t : T a ct t. ma t c t ca aa tat ca a
a v v a aa. i at c, jt t tat a jt tc a tat t t a a v. T cc ca t t a c ac t a-t at , t at aa av t tat t t c t t av . 9 t : y a ca a a t t t a a t t . it
t t av a t t t a t t ac a ta ca t . Aa a accat a t a c at ata. n att c t t, t t a t tc a vta . T ta t cat a a v.
physiCAl esCAlATion y av t ac a t v at, t t tat! i av t cvata avc t v cat, av aa a t a t at. st ca caat t aa a a ata ctat. T tc t . d t a ! T aa t t t t a . h a ca caat ca tt. i c cta, ta t t ac a a ac . 9 l n: T c ac a a cvat a aa av tat
t at. k t , t tc a a t t a a t at a a. occaa, “acct” at at a act a t tc. 9 f : pt t t ctc ct. sa at t a a c. i
a, ct a tac a t c. i cv, t a a a a t c ’ a. T ct, t t t a a tat a attact t . A a tat c t . 9 s : i a ac, tat t a a t aa.
T v t, t v tat c . i ac cv, c t a c, a t a. evta, vt at t, t c c ac .
2014 ©T Av
99
s t t t. Jt a tat j tc a ca t a a j t. ra tat t tt a t t . 9 maa n: f t t t, ca tat t aa c a ac. w
tat a a t a. s t a a aa. y acct, t t t ta t t. T t aa tt ta t a c a. oc , t t t cvat a av aa c ta. 9
s a b t a. Ta a y ca a tn: a c. c w tata aa. Ta t at. a ctv a a . ea a t t a a a. 9 k , n n : y a cv v c t, t t. la
a t aa, t t t, t a. i t, at t a a t c. g ac t t cvat a t a. i ca t, jt a a attact t , t a a a , t t . 9 t : i a t caat av t, t t t t
t. T a t . T t’ t a cat . gv a e av tc t. ga t ac c a c a c. lt av t t t a a v . s t a t ta a tt. sc a c, ca c . i ta t a t attact at a a, t t ca t . T at t at at t a tat c t a, at t a a t a a. T t acta a t a-t. y ca at tat tc at a a. s at v a a t t t t. ot, t tc at v tac a t a t v a tt cat ct. T a; ca a t at cat a t t a jt t t t t. ev c a , a a a v a t act t a cvat. wv a tc, t aa! T cac t . s acct tat, t t , t t a t v. ftat, ca t t a t a. i t ca caat v ct t cvat, cvc t v tat t. T ca vv t a t a t t t t . it a t a t caat c a t t a!
100
© 2014 T Av
The sleep-oVer proposAl s a at a c . T cvat a a tc cca, t t t t t t caat t. ia, a at . y tat t tat tt t t. i at t cat, a t : “You can spend the night here youknow. This couch is very comfortable.” T a a at a at ac t . oc av ct ct, at a: “Actually, my bedis really comfortable. I can even split it with you. We’ll both take half andwe’ll make sure tostay on our side.” T a a a t vt t ta c t at. i t tat, ca t t t, c a: 9 y av a a tt a ctact t. 9 y ca v a t t , c av . 9 y a a aat. 9 y a t ct a a jt a av ca j ca.
i cat cvc, t a c jt c. h ca a ta a c t a c at. A a t a t ct t t. sa a, a t t t t t a. pc t c a tat a t v ca caat. ua, a at c. i t ct t ct, v t at t t - a acat a t tv t t . b n a, n a an a x . i t a t t t attact , t actc cat tt a a t. hv, v a cc a t , t t a a tac. s t tat t cat t a t t t. T t ct v t t t vc c jct.
2014 © T Av
101
overcomiNg All poteNtiAl objectioNs y a t av ac t ta tac, t t t t c. i t a , t a lat mt rtac (lmr). o T at, lmr ca atca tt v tat t t t t t at atc a at a. eta, t t at t ca t v t tat a t v atc. y lmr a a tt. s a t t a t t c t. h a t t t vt? i t att a t, a “t t T at t t , t a t t at at”. i, t a t tat a cc tat t at a t t tat . sta ca a t cat : a t a attact t ac t. y t av a t cct a a at c ata. f t , at t c t a ca a c ac t v t t. f t t ca, ca a a a -t. A t t t t a a aa, t a act a ta tac. y ca v t t t a cc a. ma t t a, jt at. sc a t , a a t t cat t jt . lt t c, t t t t ac caat a. i t t t aa, t t t -t a a ta t ta a tt t a. ma c tt a tta a a tat ctv a t. h a cc jct t a t a t t: - s n an a : s at t aac tat av t v a t a t ca acct t t v t a t . - y a : Aa, at t ca. Jt t tat av t a t cct a a attact. T t tat a a t . it t t t t T tat t. - y n an aan: s tat t av t t at, v t t t tat. ea t tat t c -at. i t t, t aa a t a t ac t aa. i t av , t at t at t c a. - s n n n: Act . y t t a a a cct, t? evta, a -t t ca. - s n : T a tcca jct ta t lmr. nvt, a t t a t t. i a a, t t t . ma t t t tat a t. l at t a a tat t t t t tt a tat t ct a. T t v t ta a tat, a, a a t t . T t ct t. A a a a tat t , t t aa a . A a t a ’ act - tat a. T at t, 5 a t - t t at t t !
102
© 2014 T Av
- s n a x n n: ea tat t t av ac t c . y a v t av at, t a a attact t a jt cat t. ft a ca. evta, a tat a t at a tat at t av t , t t t a. At t t t c tat at t . i a t tt, a t cc ca: ca t av at tat tt at tat a t tt . i a t t t t at, a t t t vt t t . T a ca ca ac a t c a c a t t a t a t. it a a tat t t t t t tta caa at. i t att ca, a t t a at t . i t t v a t , a a at . oc t v av , a t cvc tat a t, av t t ac t t t a. it t v ct ca a tat a ct t. i t v cat. y t av ac t v tat -a, ta at a t at t at t at t a a at av a t t t. s t! A a, lmr ca aa tt c a tt t av t. ovc t a tac a a c tat ca tt a tat av t ct va t t ta. s t t t c tat a . T ca v, t a t t t v t at.
2014 © T Av
103
whAt comes After scoriNg Catat, av cc v t a a tat ca acta a T! h, t a a ct ac a t a at t aa. y t c v t cct av tat t t . w a at, cat a caa a at, av t at a -t ta? T ct v a t t t a ta at at t t. A n x ma a t atat t a t d’t : a t a a tat a! t A a a ct a, ac. t a a tv c. T ca, a t a a t t a v tat t a a. h a cca t: a t av a a! T mav a i a a at at t t at t tav. A a t, a a t t t: “Which do you prefer, a guy lasting for two hours ending without an orgasm or a guy climaxing in the rst ten minutes” A 95% a a t tat. w a t t atact tat t aa t a . s a a c j . s t ct t t t t , at v t t t t t. “hav a ct, ’ v ac t” - sava da
keeping iT To A one-nighT sTAnd i at t t t t , a a x n n . d t : a t aïv. T ta tat t a t cat t t, t t at t a t t attact t t at. T t t at . T t t t c, a t v t t tat t c c t . o t t a, av va t, t a t aa, t t. sa, t a a t ctt t ct, t aa. T t a at t t a . ia, at ca t t a a . i t a t ct, t a a t a at vt t at at. pt a a , t atatv t. g a t t a t t t a t t aat . i ca , ca a t aa t va t at a t t tt caa . T t t!
104
© 2014 T Av
CreATe A CAsuAl relATionship T a a tt t t aa, t a t, t at t t attac. h a t t : - s n a, n a a: i t tt t vt t c t av , t ct t ct t a t. s a a vt t a at t t. y t v ct attact t t at at a c av . sc c a a tat av cc a tat t t t t a t . - d n an n a : T a ta ca t ct ct. d t t tt t, a at t . - N az nn: ia, t t t at ac. i , a t a a t ca av “ t d”. y ca aa av a c aat a ac t . d t t a a t t . s tat t . - u n: it t ta at at caa at a v t tt attac. sa t : “what’s great about hanging out with you is that it’s not complicated like all those serious relationships. We don’t have to worry about jealousy, wecan focus on work, we leadcompletely separate lives, we have great sex ...” i c av a caa at a . y t at a t t t t. Tat t a a c ca a a t t a a ta . hav a aat t cc tat t attactv.
begin A serious relATionship w a a tat a tta t c a , t t t aa. u t t a t t a t t . d t a ct jt ca tt ta a t t ! T a t a t t a a tat t av t cc t c . oc t t a, ca c a ca. ra tct a a t t . s t a t t v a tat t t t cct aa a. s a tt t t a t tat a a at t a tat cat at t aa. ma t t at c tt ta t tat t . ma t a cat a t t t a a. s tat a tat a t a a. y, tat a t T! ( ca aa a acct at) st caa a t a t T at a . i t, tc a t aa t a aat ta t t at. lt tat a a t c t tat at. mt tat, tat at t aa t. i a a, ct tat av t at t tt. T a t aa tat tat t t v. bt a, t a jt a aa!
2014 © T Av
105
t an cnn lt lat/dca waat: T a t at a tat aat t ct t t accac ct t ctt t a cca ca a aat, c tt tat, aat t a atca . n aat a cat t a ta ata. T avc a tat cta a t ta v tat. T v t t ta tat t t a a, acct, t a vc. i a atac , t vc a ctt a t. nt t t at a a aa a . T act tat a aat wt t t a a ctat a/ a tta c t at t a tat t at t at t aat wt a v cat t a a. ft, a aa tat itt wt t t a av ca aa t t a tt a t a. A ct a, a at a ct t ctv . n t av t cat. ia t t cat ctt a a c a ca t tttc.c. w a attt av a t v at v, t at a t , , cta ttat t jct att . A cv t aat a tta. T ca a t cat a t t t ata a at. n aat c a a. T at v t t t a ca a a t at atv a a ca a t ata.
106
© 2014 T Av
