eCream• g n a r O Act. 5
T
he day after that event everything seemed to be back to normal, everything but Rei’s face: the slap I gave her left a clear red mark. “Her skin’s so delicate… I shouldn’t have got angry”, I felt guilty. «What’re you thinking?» «Oh, nothing», I shook that thought away, focusing on Yukino, who turned back toward me. «You’re hiding something», my friend narrowed her eyes. «You were staring at Asakawa, did something happen?» «No at all», I lied trying to be convincing. «Alright, as you like», she let it go. «I guess it’s pointless asking to the captain as well, isn’t it?» «The captain…», I remembered feeling a pang in my heart. «She asked me to go out with her», I confessed. «She seemed honest about her feelings» Yukino’s expression changed: «You’re really lucky. Fujiwara is a good girl» «Why are you presuming that I will say yes to her?» «Because if you won’t do it, you’d be an idiot!», she said. «Come on, Miyuki-chan! Don’t tell me that you prefer that stupid of Yamato?» «I didn’t say that», I reached her. «Yukino-chan, do you like the Captain?» «Of course I do!», her cheeks blushed. «But I have no chance with her, so… if she’s with you, at least I’d be sure that she’s in good hands», she winked. «Sometimes I really can’t get you. Don’t you want to try and tell her?» «No, I’m fine this way», she leaned her chin on her hand. «I always admired her from afar, I won’t confess to her now that she has fallen for you» I dropped the conversation and I let my eyes lay on Rei again, who were absorbed writing on her notebook. “What should I do?”, I wondered. She turned toward me, like she noticed my thought: her blue eyes went right through my soul. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, just like the day before. The more I tried to hold back those feelings, the more I was overwhelmed by. «Hey, Miyuki-chan?», Yukino called me out again. «Look who’s out of the classroom!» 100
I turned toward the doorway and I saw Misato, leaning against the jamb and smiling gently as usual. «It looks like she heard us», she giggled inciting me to go to her. At that point, I took courage and reached her. «Sorry for bothering you», the captain said. «Don’t worry, we’re between periods, we still have a few minutes», I met her hazel, bright and charming eyes. «I just wanted to ask you if you’re busy this weekend» «I have to help my parents at the shop this Saturday, but I’m free on Sunday», I replied right away. «Do you think we could hang out?» «You mean the two of us… alone?» «We can invite some friends if you wish», she laughed. «I’m fine with any suggestion. Being with you is enough for me», she said in a tone so sweet I could melt on the instant. “Why am I developing all these scruples? Yukino’s ok with it, after all, isn’t she?”, I thought gazing at her from head to toe. Fujiwara was so beautiful and charming! I really wanted to know her better. My mouth opened slightly to say yes but, even before I could talk, Rei’s image filled my mind. “Enough!”, I lowered my head, grasping my chest with my hand. “Asakawa was pretty clear about what she want from me, but I can’t…” «Miyuki, is everything alright?», the captain was worried seeing me hesitate. «Yes, of course», I lifted up my gaze connecting our eyes. «I’d be honored to go out with you and to know you better, Misato-san», I answered getting rid of all the uncertainties that had swallowed me. «You’re making me happy», she whispered, then she shifted her hair behind her ear and I notice that her cheeks blushed. “She really likes me…”, I thought feeling my heart pounding while I was picking the note with her phone number and e-mail from her hands. «Please, write me, so we can reach an agreement for Sunday, okay?», she smiled at me. «I doubt that I’ll see you for the training session tomorrow afternoon, right?» 101
102
«I have the cooking club», I smiled back at her. «I’m sorry» «I look forward to this Sunday», she winked before leaving. Finally, I started to breathe again normally. The teacher was just arrived when I got back to class, but Rei wasn’t at her seat anymore. “I have to forget about what happened yesterday and move on”, I sat back focusing on the present. «So, what happened?», Yukino asked me whispering and reaching for my desk. «She asked me out and…», I showed her the folded note «… this is her number» «No way!», she jumped. «A real date! So… you two are going to get together?» «Don’t speak so loud», I scolded her in a low voice looking around. «Sorry, you’re right», she collected herself. «It’s just that I’m so thrilled for you!» «Thank you, but I still don’t know how all of this will end, so let’s try to avoid putting the word out, please» «Okay, boss! But know that I’ll call you and you’ll have to tell me all the details» «Okay, but stop it now, you’re making me feel embarrassed!», I grumbled, then we burst out laughing catching irremediably the attention of the teacher. We composed ourselves immediately and my sights, unintentionally, set on Rei’s empty desk once again: she didn’t come back to the classroom that day, but I forced myself to not wonder if she got away because she saw the scene between Misato and me, or just because someone from the student council called her in the role of class rep. My mind and my heart, for the first time, seemed like they didn’t want to be on the same page: to kiss a girl and desiring her, to date another girl being fascinated by her. Probably, to me it wasn’t very clear how love works. *** «So, is it true? You’re going to go on a date with Misato?», Yamato stopped me at the school gates, visibly disappointed. 103
«Yes, it is», I confessed feeling a little embarrassed while Yukino, standing by my side, was starting to champ at the bit. «Oh, damn! I can’t wage war to her, I love her too much», he grumbled kicking a pebble. «You’re pathetic!», growled my friend tugging me from my arm. «Like if it’s you the one who could choose who Miyuki-chan can date» «It’s because of what happened the other day, you still haven’t forgiven me, have you?», asked hostile the boy, and at that point I decided to confront him. «I need to speak with him», I directed an explicit look towards Yukino. «Ok, ok!», she turned her back, giving us a dozen meters. The days were starting to be longer, soon there would be the exams and right after there’d be the summer vacation. Many people were looking for someone to share those days of fun and relax, but I was certain that those weren’t Yamato’s intentions with me: his eyes revealed something deeper than he wanted me to believe. «I’m sorry», I said to the boy, he shrugged with a grimace. «My feelings won’t change so fast, I like you for real», he said dejected. «Though, you see… can I ask you if you’re rejecting me because… yeah, you know, because you like girls more than boys?» «Actually, I don’t know if I can answer you sincerely. I’ve never dated anyone until now», I confessed. «But I don’t want to give you false hopes». «I see, you’re really into her, aren’t you?» «She intrigues me and…Yes, I like her», I lowered my eyes feeling under pressure. «Of course, it’s normal, Misato is… a force of nature. No one can resist her», he became even gloomier. «Can we stay friends?» «You don’t need to have any doubt about this», he finally smiled. «Yamato, can I ask you a question, too?», I stared him into the eyes. «Why did you break up with Rei?» I lowered his head for a moment before looking in my eyes again: «I told her the truth. I like you, Miyuki», he confirmed what Rei had told to Misato. «But it’s not just that». 104
I stayed in silence, I wasn’t certain I wanted to know more about his relationship with my childhood friend. «I was tired of a relation like that», Yamato continued. «I tried to ask her why she acts like that, but she…» «She didn’t want to answer you?», I blurted out without thinking. «She says she’s like this», he shrugged again putting his hands in his pants’ pockets. «She likes me, but she doesn’t want any commitment. She made clear that she didn’t care if I confessed to another girl nor if we broke up» Yet, I’d seen her cry in her sleep saying that sentence: «Don’t leave me…», is it possible that Rei lied to him? I said goodbye to Yamato and Yukino, who walked home with me, and I decided to not ask any more questions about that story: if Asakawa wanted to live her life that way, I couldn’t help it. That Saturday something unexpected happened at my parents’ shop, though. After getting up early to bake the sweets for the day, I was helping at the counter, when an unknown figure appeared on the doorstep: «Good morning, Miyuki-chan», Mrs. Ritsuko greeted me reaching the counter. Rei was following her closely behind. «Hello…», I said freezing while I was drying a glass. «Is there your mother by any chance?» «I’ll call her right away», I rushed to open the door of the bakery. When she heard that her dear friend came to visit, my mother took her apron off, instructed our two employees and fixed her hair before entering the room: «Rei’s here as well, isn’t she?», she asked. «Yes, there’s her daughter, too» «Good, are you two getting along?», she pulled me by my arm. I didn’t even get to reply that she was already across the counter hugging Ritsuko. «It looks like they really want to make up for lost time», I heard and quickly I turned towards Rei who was sitting on the stool in front of me. «Yeah», I answered casually picking up glass and dishcloth. «Can I get you something?», I asked looking somewhere else. «Tea and two mini croissants filled with orange cream, please» 105
I prepared what she asked for and I served it trying to be calm with all my might. «Would you like to move to a table? You’d be more comfortable», I proposed. «No, I’m fine here», she stared at me and I immediately lowered my eyes getting back to tidy up the dishes. «Are you really angry?» My heart was up in my throat hearing her tone of voice change: she seemed sorry. «No, I’m not anymore and… sorry for slapping you», I lifted my look on her feeling unarmed: her blue eyes kept confusing me. «I put you in a corner. I deserved it», she replied while a smile was appearing on her lips. «Anyway, that’s water under the bridge», I made haste to answer. «Let’s try to get along for them at least, ok?», I pointed our mothers. «I’ll do my best», she took a sip of her tea. «Thank you», I cracked a smile: Rei and her image of composed class rep, serious, steady… Rei and her dark, passionate side… I gaped staring at her lips opening to bite one of the croissants filled with cream, which I made with my hands. I inevitably thought about when her mouth tightened on my breast making me lose control. I blushed and lowered my head in time before Rei could notice my agitation. «Are you going to go out with Fujiwara?», she said out of the blue. Surprised, I opened my eyes wide: «Why do you ask?» «Just curiosity», she answered with apathetic tone. «Yes…», I admitted. Rei didn’t reply. She finished her tea, then she turned back towards her mother, who was still talking with mine: «Do you think they still have a lot to do?» «I don’t know, but we could try and ask them», I went along her attempt to change subject. 106
“Is it possible that… knowing that I’ll go out with the captain is bothering her?”, I wondered feeling my heart skip a beat. Was Rei jealous of me? Just the thought filled me with an incomprehensible excitement. “What’s happening to me?”, I lift my look on my classmate who was staring at me puzzled. «Miyuki, did you hear me?» «Oh, no, sorry… what were you saying?», I came down to earth. «I said that I should buy something in a store nearby. Can you come along with me?», she raised her eyebrow. «C-Come along with you? Err… I… actually I’m on duty this morning, and…» «Never mind», she stood up from the stool. «I’ll go alone» Without even realizing it, I gaped looking at her while she was fixing her shoulder bag on her light blue thin dress. «Miyuki…», she came closer narrowing her eyes. «Why are you staring me like that?», she pulled a lock of hair aside from my cheek and in an instant my face was on fire. «What’s up? Are you blushing?», she laughed. «Stop it», I moved aside. «Sorry, it’s just that…», she breathed. «You’re really pretty», she ended gently. Hearing those words I felt a sudden shot through the heart, the air was blocked into my lungs and, when I saw her walking out the door, I wished only one thing: to be with her again, even just for a few minutes. I took off my apron and chased her. «Miyuki, where are you going?», my mother called me out, noticing that I was going fast towards the entry of the shop. «Ah… Mom, I’ll be right back. I’m going to take Rei to buy something», I justified myself impatient to go out. «Fine, but don’t be late. You were the one who asked to work this morning, remember?», she glared at me. «Ok, we’ll be back soon», I assured turning the handle of the door to run after to what had become an irresistible temptation by then. “Yes, I am. I went completely insane”, I gritted my teeth stretching my stride, un107
108
til I saw Rei among the people walking and looking at the shop windows on the street. «Hey, wait for me!», I called her. She turned back toward me astonished. «We’ll make it quick, right? I don’t have much time» «Alright», she smiled at me. «The place is a few steps from here». I followed her, I still had short breath cause of the running, and walked through the door of an adorable shop full of all kinds of souvenirs and accessories. «For whom is the gift?», I asked curious. «It’s for a school mate who was kind to me», Rei answered while walking slowly among the shelves. «A school mate?», I mulled. «Is it someone from the student council?» «Why all these questions, are you jealous?», she smirked. «Absolutely not!», I denied with too much resolution. Rei giggled, then she stopped in front of some foulards: «This could be suitable, don’t you think?», she pointed one of those with a pretty printing of colorful butterflies. «Yes, it’s not that bad…», I felt a sudden complaint in the pit of my stomach. «Uhm, do you mind if I take a look while you decide?», I distanced myself from her. “What’s wrong with me? Why am I feeling so out of place?”, I tighten my lips and picked up a stuffed animal that resembled a tiger. “Anyway, if Rei gave one of these to this mysterious girl, I guess that it’d annoy me even more”, I admitted beaten. “It’s worthless to delude myself that she’s the one who’s jealous, when it’s clearly the opposite”. I wandered around the shop trying to focus on the choice I had taken towards Rei, in the attempt to recover some clarity. I needed to speak with her, I couldn’t let things pending. «Here I am, I’ve finished. We can go back», Rei came beside me and in that moment I noticed that the foulard that she showed me shortly before was still in its place. «What did you choose in the end?», I asked her being on pins and needles. «If you’d helped me searching, you would know», she replied in her usual teaser tone. 109
110
«Oh, you’re impossible!» «Seriously? I asked you to come to give me some advice, but you disappeared, and I’m the one who’s impossible?» «I got distracted», I lied crossing my arms. «I figured», she giggled. «Rei…», her name without the honorific came out from my mouth. «Why did you do that?», I asked her out of the blue while people were passing by us like a river. «Do you want to know it now?», she suddenly became serious, immediately realizing what I meant. «Yes, I do», I replied unconcerned about where we were. She came closer to my ear: «Because I am the worst… I’ve already told you», she smirked roguishly. I stared at her in the eyes, which became dark and deep. «What does that mean? Be clear», I confronted her without beating around the bush. «Do you want me to be clearer?», she grabbed me by an arm pulling me to her. «Do you think that kissing you here in front of everyone could help you understand?», she said with her usual cheeky smirk. «Would you do it with feeling?» «What kind of feeling do you mean?», her expression hardened. «I mean that kind of feeling that… isn’t just locking in somewhere to do those kinds of things», I silenced her unreservedly. «You didn’t seem so annoyed the other day», she looked at me with disapproval. «Now you tell me, with what kind of feeling you’d do it, instead? Because, if I’m not mistaken, you have a date with Fujiwara tomorrow, haven’t you?», she, in turn, struck me leaving me speechless. «You see? It’s precisely this that I can’t stand», she came closer my face. «Hypocrisy», she ended icy. «You’re unfair! If things were different between you and me, I wouldn’t have agreed to go out with Misato-san», I blurted without thinking and I regretted it right away. «Very well. Does Fujiwara know that she’s your second choice?» 111
112
«I like her, and… there’s nothing wrong with knowing a new friend», I lowered my eyes feeling at fault: my words were turning against me. «A new friend?», Rei burst out laughing. «Then… you’re only faking to be naïve! Because you’d be such a fool believing that Fujiwara wants just a friendship from you», she got nervous. «She likes you “that way”, Miyuki!» «Stop it now!», I raised my voice on edge, catching without wishing the attention of the bystanders. Rei didn’t say anything else; she withdrew into a cold silence, continuing to glare at me with that kind of look that could tear me down more than a thousand words. «Ryo came back to me, he asked me to try to repair our relationship», she suddenly started to talk again. «You made a good choice. Between the two of them Fujiwara is the one who’s best suited for you», she came close to my ear again. «Have fun with her, tomorrow», she whispered and quickly turned her back to me. «Hey, wait! Where are you going?» «Home. Tell my mother that something came up», she got away without turning back anymore. I went back to the shop alone, tormented by what had happened. Rei’s words had shaken me: “What am I doing?”, I wondered snuggling up on my bed. Right then I got a text on my cell phone: it was from Misato, who were asking details for the next day. *** «Miyuki-chan!», Yukino ran towards me when she saw me walking through the gates of the school. «Good morning, you’re always full of energy early in the morning, uh?», I greeted her. «The same cannot be said about you», she worried. «You look…» «I didn’t get much sleep last night» «O-Oh! You mean… yeah… you and… senpai…», she stuttered. «No! What are you thinking?», I blocked her right away. «Actually… We didn’t go out yesterday» 113
«What? Why? Phew… I was hoping in some spicy story!» «Yukino-chan, please, that’s just not the case, trust me», I lengthened my stride towards the entrance of the school building. «Alright, alright, I was just joking a little», she reached me on the stairs. «May I know what happened?» «I didn’t feel well, so I postponed it» «What a bad excuse!», she stole a glance at me, but I acted as if nothing had happened. I placed my schoolbag on my desk and waited for class to start. Yukino didn’t ask any other question and, like a good friend, changed subject, while Rei, sitting in her chair, didn’t so much as look at me all day long. In the late afternoon, when classes had ended, I reached Misato at the gym to talk to her. I was feeling awful towards her and the right thing to do was to explain how things really were: I needed some time to clarify my feelings. «I read the text saying that you were waiting for me in front of the gym after practice. What did you have to tell me?», Fujiwara smiled at me coming closer. «I’m sorry I didn’t show up yesterday», I bowed. «Don’t worry. The important thing is that you’re fine», she winked. «We can go out another time if you like» «Well…», I stuttered trying the right words to not hurt her. «Is there something more?», Misato was worried. «Do you mind if we talk about it while heading home? All my teammates are going to come out from the locker room; I don’t want them to interrupt us» «It’s fine», I nodded. It was true that I liked the captain, but what I was feeling for Rei was something different… I just needed to admit the truth, that truth that had been shoved in my face and which made me think and call everything into question. «How are you doing in school?», asked me Misato trying to break the silence. «Fine, thanks, even though I’m looking forward to summer vacation, I need a break» 114
«You said it!», the captain laughed shifting her hair behind her ear, then she suddenly stopped. «What is it?», I worried seeing her face suffusing with awe. «So… it’s true that the two of them…», she whispered staring in front of her. I slowly turned toward the same direction and something broke inside me: Yamato and Rei had just closed the room of requirement’s door behind their back. It was a really awkward moment for the four of us to meet each other. «Ryo, is this the reason why you skipped practice?», Misato scolded him darkening. «I informed the coach. I had to take care of something important», the boy stood up for himself. «Sure. I figure», replied the captain with disdain. I couldn’t say a word. My eyes were staring at Rei’s ones, who seemed to reflect my same state of mind. “Why?”, I clenched my chest with my hand. The pain went so deep into me that for a second I was afraid of falling to the ground and not getting up anymore. «Can we leave, please?», I asked to Misato in a whisper, clenching to her arm. «Yes, we’re leaving right away», the captain grabbed my hand dragging me away. While we were passing by the two of them, Rei’s scent overwhelmed me and by instinct I looked up on her: her eyes, blank and distant, looked like they had left me definitively, and so all the good intentions I had forced on myself. “What a fool I was to believe that she…”, I gritted my teeth thinking about when she had accused me of hypocrisy again, making me feel guilty. «Miyuki, are you alright?», asked me worried Misato, while keeping to hold my hand. «Not much, sorry», I tried to collect myself. «I got you. After all, Yamato had just confessed to you, you must feel bad, right?» «No, it’s not about that» 115
116
Misato stopped in the middle of the street: «What’s the matter, then?», she looked at me puzzled. «Seriously, it’s not about Yamato, it’s just that… I don’t get Asakawa», I couldn’t contain myself feeling the anger rising. «You don’t know her», she darkened. «If you want some advice, stay away from her» «Stay away from her? What do you mean?» «All the people who deal with Asakawa end up subjugated by her and victims of her selfishness», she bitterly revealed. «You mean that… there’s was something between you two?», I asked holding my breath. «Nothing like that…», she reassured me starting to walk again. «Let’s just say that I lived a really particular moment last year and she knew about it. I hoped till the last minute that we could be friends, but… she preferred to destroy everything I loved, my relationship with Ryo included», she squeezed her lips. I lowered my head sending away the thought of Yamato and Rei together going out of that damn room. «Miyuki, let’s stop talking about them. There’s still something that you have to tell me and that we left open, right?», Misato stood in front of me and looking anxious. «I’m sorry if I didn’t go out with you yesterday. I didn’t want to reject you» «You told me you weren’t feeling well. I believe you», she relaxed immediately and her eyes met mine. I found a warm and attractive light inside them. «Misato-san… I…», I whispered clearing my mind from all the bad thoughts, warmed by that light that was flooding all my body. «So, are you busy next Sunday?», she asked me gently. «Actually, yes», I surrounded her neck with my arms, dropping my bag on the ground. «I absolutely have to go out with my girlfriend», I stood up on my tiptoe and kissed her. Time seemed to stop and so my heart: it wasn’t time to get hurt and destroy myself anymore. I just wanted to love and to be loved. 117
118
119
Orange Cream di Scarlett Bell
with drawings by Aeryn Sun
English translation by Sakura21 from micettescans.blogfree.net Quality check by Kitsune
TO BE CONTINUED...
All rights reserved to the author. Every reproduction prohibited. Please support the project by reading the chapters on the blog and by subscribing to the facebook page.
www.orangecreamyurimanganovel.blogspot.it
120
