5 Ways Ways to Avoid Avoid Being the Victim A shadow archetype of the Caregiver , the Victim is born out of guilt and feelings of inadequacy and can lead to anger and codependence. Everyone codependence. Everyone has has this archetype. Why You Should Watch Out
Caregivers who go too far sometimes end up as victims, and it can actually actuall y make them incapable of providing any care at all. Manifesting this shadow archetype can also produce a lot of unrealized guilt, rage and depression. It’s Not Necessarily True
As a shadow archetype, the Victim tells you that you are always taken advantage of and it's never your fault, which is simply not true. You are also rewarded in the form of sympathy, which exacerbates this un healthy cycle you’re caught in. See the Bigger Picture
Living an empowered, healthy emotional life is an important part of being happy. Playing the Victim undermines your strength in overcoming challenges and fears. Break the Pattern
If you find yourself feeling victimized and fall into self-pitying, think abou t your circumstances and how powerless you might feel. Is there envy of others there? How much time are you spending feeling sorry for yourself? Asking yourself these questions is a good step in mo ving on. The Upside
Don't be misled by the name of this archetype. When properly recognized, the Victim archetype alerts you of danger, of letting yourself be victimized, especially through p assive aggressive actions. It also can help you recognize your own tendency to manipulate and victimize others for your own personal gain.
Traducido 5 maneras de evitar ser víctima Un arquetipo sombra del Cuidador, es la Víctima nace de culpa y sentimientos de insuficiencia y puede llevar a la ira y la codependencia. codependencia. Todo el mundo tiene este arquetipo.
Por qué usted debe mirar hacia fuera Los Cuidadores que van demasiado lejos a veces terminan como Víctimas, y que en realidad puede hacer que sea incapaz de proporcionar ningún cuidado en absoluto. Manifestando este arquetipo en sombra también puede producir una gran cantidad de culpa no realizada, la rabia y la depresión. Esto no es necesariamente cierto Como arquetipo sombra, la Víctima le dice que siempre se aprovechan de y nunca es tu culpa, que simplemente no es verdad. También son recompensados en forma de simpatía, lo que agrava este ciclo no saludable. Ver la Gran Pelicula Vivir una vida emocional saludable empoderado empoderado es una parte importante de ser feliz. Jugando ser la Victima socava tu fuerza para superar los desafíos y temores. Romper el patrón Si usted encuentra que se siente victimizado y cae en la autocompasión, piense en sus circunstancias y lo impotente que se puede sentir. ¿Hay envidia de otros allí? ¿Cuánto tiempo se está gastando de sentir lástima por si mismo? Haciéndose Haciéndose estas preguntas es un buen paso para seguir adelante. Más allá Cuando reconocen correctamente, correctamente, el arquetipo Víctima le avisa del peligro, de dejarse victimizar, especialmente a través de acciones agresivas pasivas. También puede ayudarle a reconocer su propia tendencia a manipular y victimizar a otros para su propio beneficio personal.
The Love Doctor on How to Make A Good First Date Impression by Dr. Terri Orbuch, The Love Doctor®
When you think about the singles dating scene, how do you feel? Excited? Intimidated? Worried whether you can trust someone? And, is it worth the effort if you do? Believe me, I understand. You’re not alone. I’ve heard the same concerns and fears from literally hundreds and thousands of people. But I can assure you that dating and finding that someone special, as daunting as it may seem, is absolutely worth the effort! I am a professor, therapist, researcher, and author — who for almost three decades has directed a landmark study on love, dating, marriage and relationships, funded by the National Institutes of Health (NIH). Every day, I answer questions about love, dating, and relationships. And, one thing I have discovered is that when you’re dating, first impressions are what set relationships into motion. People start judging you from the moment they meet you. When you make a really good first impression, you increase your odds of a second date and a potential long-term relationship. So what can you do to make the very best impression out of the gate? Below are several of my helpful tips to make the best impression on a first date. All of the strategies are important to consider, regardless of your archetype. However, depending on your archetype, I have pinpointed one key strategy that focuses on your strengths, which will allow you to shine on first dates. Remember, you only get one chance to make a good lasting impression, so make it a good one!
Plan ahead . Take time to think about what you’ll do and say on the first date. Plan what kind of image you want to present. Rehearse questions, make a list of possible topics to talk about, and make reservations in advance for dinner, the theatre, or wherever you plan to go. By planning ahead, you’ll come across as a person who cares and makes plans, is serious about dating, and considers the date to be important.
Dress up.Focus on your outer appearance. How you dress on a first date not only leaves a lasting first impression, but it also signals to your date future ideas about you. You don’t have to dress to the nines or put on a coat or tie, but wear something you feel comfortable in that presents you in the best light. By putting your finest forward, you’ll come across as a person who cares and is serious about dating.
Pump up the humor . Humor makes any date better. Smile and laugh to put your date in a good mood. If you are too serious, you might give off the vibe that you are “too much work to be with” and not much fun. But whatever you do, stay away from self-deprecating humor. Making fun of yourself may seem like a disarming way to break the ice, but it isn’t funny and screams low self -esteem.
Reveal gradually. On a first date, many people make the mistake of laying it all on the table, the good and the bad, so your date knows exactly what he or she is getting into and what you’re all about. Instead, disclose personal things gradually. If this person is right for you, there will be plenty of time to unfold, and that will make you endlessly exciting and interesting, rather than burdensome and overwhelming.
Keep it short. Whatever activity you do, 2 ½ hours is ideal for a first date. A meal is alwa ys a good choice because it has a beginning, middle and end. Treat this like a short performance or race. Start the clock and when the check comes, your date is over. If it seems too brief, make another date!
Arrive with an open and positive mind. Show up with the attitude that this date is an opportunity to meet someone you might not have otherwise met. Be enthusiastic, upbeat and stand tall with confidence. A positive, optimistic approach is what people find most attractive. Remember that eve n if you don’t have romantic chemistry, you may have found a potential friend.
Choose the right place to meet. Think outside the box and make the first date unique and impactful. You want this first date to be different and out of the o rdinary. A movie is not a good choice for a first date nor is a loud rock concert. Instead, choose a place where you and your date can talk, observe, and interact. For example, instead of a coffee shop, meet at a coffee cart in a park in the city!
Do not rush judgment. It is almost impossible to make a sound decision abo ut someone on the first date. Sure, sometimes the chemistry is so lacking that you know immediately you could never have sparks, but give them every opportunity for a connection to develop. Your date may be nervous, so try to be as open-minded as possible.
Ask questions. Don’t spend the entire first date talking about yourself. You may feel the need to sell yourself, but instead, ask the other person questions. Find out about his or her favorite activities and hobbies. Someone who asks questions is seen as interesting and attractive on first dates. If your date asks you question after question, which may be a nervous defense, take charge and say, “Enough about me. I’d love to hear more about you.”
Listen well. Be a good listener, which requires more than your ears. It uses your eyes, your body, and your mind. Listen to what the other person says, think for a few seconds, and then respond. Make eye contact. You need to be able to really hear what your date is saying to you before you can ask a good question in return. The best questions are ones that directly focus on your date’s answer.
Do date. The right person will not just show up and find you. You need to take responsibility and put yourself out there, talk to others, and look for compatibility. Most importantly, you have to believe in the dating process. Remember that you might go out on many first dates, before you find the person who is right for you. First dates are vital to falling in love!
Use body language to show interest. When people are interested in someone romantically, the y often give nonverbal signals to the other person long before they say a single word. People can signal interest with their eye contact, smile, posture, and body movements. On your first date, if you like or are interested in the other person, be sure to use your eyes or body movements to show you are approachable, and to make a good first impression.
So who is The Love Doctor®? Dr. Terri L. Orbuch (PhD), better known as "The Love Doctor," is one of America’s most trusted relationship experts. She is a professor, therapist, research scientist, and author of five best- selling books, including “Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship.” She brings her simple, straightforward, scientifically-proven relationship advice to Archetypes.co
Archetype in Crisis: Doctor, Doctor
We navigate some of the most challenging moments in our lives by examining the archetypal passage of crisis. by Colleen Williams
Unfortunately, there is nothing that compares to a moment of crisis in the health department. Whether it is happening to you or a loved one, it can feel like you got socked in the stomach. Sometimes you are inconsolable, sometimes you are tough as nails. You have been asked to step up and be strong when your body may be betraying this request, acting just the oppo site. When I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, I was really scared and had a bit of a meltdown. I have since learned that it is a bump in the road that I’m traveling, and I’ve wrapped my brain around it by reading a million different ways to manage it (my primary archetype is Intellectual). I know that when you receive bad news about your health, there is a sort of black hole of fear and worry you stumble into and you get tunnel vision; you can’t think about anything else, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat. If you are suffering and in the middle of a serious medical condition or crisis – and it is dubious or downright bad news – you can feel fear, anger, desperation and hopelessness. All you want to do is forget about it for a minute, a day, even a week. You trick yourself for a moment and think that maybe you’re fine – it’s true you do go through the phases of grief and denial is a big one. Your archetypes can lead you through these tough times for moments of clarity and control. Here are a few ideas to help you cope, plus a cautionary tip to watch out for:
You’re already Googling and reading every book, pamphlet and blog in sight. You are incredibly informed but maybe take a moment and really feel? It goes against your nature, bu t catharsis may be in order before you
compartmentalize and analyze the minutiae. WATCH OUT: Playing doctor.
The darkest days can be the biggest inspiration. Keep doing what you do – making art, writing in your journal, playing your piano. It is the source of your solace, and a temporary escape. WATCH OUT: Depression and despair.
Listen to your doctor and taper off from strenuous activity if requested. Perhaps yoga or even long walks can help you get your physical fix. Breathe in fresh air and feel the sunshine. WATCH OUT: Overexertion.
Most likely to beat an illness, Rebels will not let a diagnosis take them down. It’s not, however, the time to rebel against what your doctor prescribes. Keep your illness a frenemy and you will be better for it. WCH OUT: Disregarding doctor’s orders.
You need the care this time around, and it’s hard to accept, but take in those hugs, let somebody else cook dinner, get some rest. An illness is a warning for you, take care of you. WATCH OUT: Not embracing self-care.
Your crystal ball is full of doom and gloom and what you feel is truly bad, bad news. Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment” is your best friend and go-to download - brainwash yourself with his sage advice. WATCH OUT: Doom and gloom jump-thinking.
Stoic is your middle name. Lean into your archetype and get the answers to the questions you seek. You will get unsurpassed care, but don’t let your authoritarian nature get the best of you. WATCH OUT: Allow yourself to rely on others.
Turn on a camera or iPhone and record your journey. An illness for a performer can be a calling to simply a different stage, so keep entertaining, share your story, and keep laughing. WATCH OUT: Don’t let those hands go idle – document your experience.
Soul over body. There is no one better than beloved Caroline Myss to help you navigate a health crisis. Our favorite audio CD is Channeling Grace, listen as many times as necessary. WATCH OUT: Channel grace.
You are the most likely to go into denial and this is downright dangerous. Looking good through illness should not be a priority, so you find yourself at a fork in the road. Keep your sparkling wit, lose the vanity. WATCH OUT: Don’t slip into denial.
Your curious nature drives you to find the n ewest alternatives to dealing with a medical crisis, whether this is a new herb or treatment. Keep your doctor informed about any of your latest discoveries and self-medication. WATCH OUT: Don't turn yourself into an experiment.
No one will be more motivated than you to go green, go vegan, go GMO-free. You may feel best channeling your feelings into a cause – your own. WATCH OUT: Becoming extreme about your eating habits.
