Demyst i f yi ng Ch Char i sma. . . __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Hey guys, A f ew ni ght ght s ago, ago, I went ent bar hopp oppi ng wi t h a f r i end end of mi ne. We bot h t al ked ked t o t r uck l oad oads of women and and used pr act i cal l y t he same mat er i al on t hem hem. But by t he en end of of t he ni ght ght my f r i end' s r esul sul t s we wer e so bad he f el t t hat he was bl bl essed wi t h an unl i kab kabl e sel sel f . My expe experr i ence, ence, how however ever , was t he t ot al oppos i t e. I f el t l i ke Sat an wi t h pi t c hf hf or k i n hand, i nci t i ng one gi r l af t er t he next t o enga engage ge i n some nau naugh ghtt y mi r t h. Was i t because because of my l ooks? Was i t because because I have have some i mpal pabl e qu qual i t y ab about out me cal cal l ed “char “char i sma, ” whi ch i s not not t each eachab abll e? Was i t becau ecause I am Sat Sat an? an? No No - i t was non none e of of t hese t hi ngs. I nst ead, i t was du due t o a set set of l ear ned ski l l s. I kno know t hi s be becau cause, se, si mi l ar t o my f r i end, I spe spent yea year s f eel i ng l i ke a bor i ng sl ot h bef or e t r ansf or mi ng mysel ysel f i nt o a f l i t t er i ng but t er f l y cha char mi ng one gr gr oup of women t o t he next . But bef or e I r eveal t o you t he ski l l s t hat di st i ngui sh a ch char i smat i c Ca Casan sanova f r om a f l oun ounder i ng Wal do, I am goi ng t o gi ve you you a qui ck over over vi ew of my met hod, od, Nat ur al i zed At t r acti on. Nat ur al i zed zed At t r act i on i s no not about t r yi ng t o appl y t herape erapeut i c t echn chni ques used i n psych psychol ol ogy ogy t o dat dat i ng, at t r act i ng, and and sedu seduci ng women. en. Nor i s i t based ased upo upon n t he unf oun ounded ded cl ai ms pr opou opoun nded by t he “l et ' s pl ay pseu pseud do- psychol sychol ogi ogi st t o t he hel pl ess, need eedy an and pat het i c” gu gur us of t he wor l d - t hi nk Dr . Phi l ! The st ar t i ng poi nt of “ Nat ur al i zed At t r act i on” i s al ways t he REA REAL L WORLD. LD. The met hod hod st r i ves t o obser obser ve, model odel , and and i mpr ove upon upon bot bot h t he nat ur al soci soci al behavi or s t hat gener at e at t r act i on i n women, and t he gl gl ue t hat hol ds t hese be behavi or s t oge oget her. Our cul cul t ur e ha has myst i f i ed t hi s gl gl ue un under t he r ubr i c “cha “char i sma” as an an i nnat e, i nt angi bl e, nonon- t eacha chabl e qu qual i t y posse possessed ssed onl onl y by by bl essed ssed i ndi vi dual s. “Ch “Char i sma, ” ho however ver , i s act ual l y t he combi nat i on of a f ew l ear nabl e and r epeat abl e ski ski l l s. So t hi s be begs t he quest i on: What ski l l s
const i t ut e char i sma and how does a per son go about acqui r i ng t hese ski l l s? Two ski l l s t hat pl ay a mai nst ay i n bei ng char i smat i c ar e: owni ng your mat eri al , and havi ng a st r ong i nt ent . Let ' s star t wi t h t he f i r st one, owni ng your mat er i al . Ther e ar e a l ot of men who cr i nge at t he i dea of havi ng wel l r ehear sed j okes and st or i es pr epared f or soci al i nt er act i ons. You mi ght be one of t hese men. I f so, t hi nk about t hi s: Most soci al l y adept peopl e wi l l unconsci ousl y t el l t he same j okes and st or i es over and over agai n, honi ng t hem t o per f ect i on. Of t ent i mes, however , once a per son i s made consci ous of , f or exampl e, usi ng a r ehear sed st ory, he begi ns t o worr y t hat he wi l l come acr oss t o women as r ehear sed. He may devel op a gui l t y consci ence about usi ng hi s st or y, t hi nki ng t o hi msel f t hat usi ng r ehear sed mat eri al i s aki n t o wi l i ng a woman i nt o t he sack. These i nsecur i t i es ar e l udi cr ous. I have never met a si ngl e soci al l y adept per son who used compl et el y new mat er i al i n ever y soci al i nt er act i on. Pur ge your sel f of t hese wor r i es. Remember : Whet her you ar e consci ous of i t or not , havi ng at l east some r ehear sed mat er i al i s par t of havi ng st r ong soci al ski l l s. Men wi t h st r ong soci al ski l l s ar e abl e t o si mul t aneousl y engage a woman - wi t h, f or exampl e, qui ps and stor i es - whi l e al so anal yzi ng what t hey need t o do t o f ur t her engage and at t r act her ( Not e: I def i ne “at t r act i on” not as how a woman j udges you, but as what you do t o her mi nd and body. At t r act i on or as I cal l i t “Pr i zi ng” i s get t i ng a woman so emot i onal l y char ged, she i s compel l ed t o chase you) . I have a f r i end who i s a mast er at t hi s. He can f l ow f r om one st ory t o t he next whi l e si mul t aneousl y gaugi ng a woman' s l evel of at t r act i on f or hi m. Thi s al l ows hi m t o “i n r eal t i me” make adj ust ment s t o hi s mat er i al t hat wi l l f ur t her engage and at t r act t he woman t o hi m. When you have wel l r ehear sed mat er i al your br ai n power wi l l not be expended on r emember i ng, f or exampl e, a par t i cul ar j est or st or y. I nst ead, you wi l l have ext r a br ai n power t o anal yze what you need t o do t o f ur t her engage and at t r act her . I am bi t f ast i di ous, however , about peopl e usi ng ot hers mat er i al . I f you ar e usi ng someone el se' s mat er i al , you ri sk comi ng acr oss as f ake. I have wi t nessed men r ambl i ng on f or a good hour , t al ki ng about t hei r f r i end' s advent ur es and exper i ences as i f t hey wer e t hei r own. Once t hey r an out of mat er i al , t he women t hey wer e engagi ng al most al ways wal ked away. Why di d t hi s happen? I t hi nk women
i nt ui t i vel y know when men ar e i ncongr uent and i naut hent i c. When, on t he cont r ar y, you use your own mat er i al , even i f i t i s r ehear sed, i t wi l l be aut hent i c because you ar e di spl ayi ng who you ar e. A f ew mi nut es of aut hent i c mat er i al about your sel f - who you ar e, what you ar e about , your exper i ences and advent ur es…and so on - wi l l get you f ur t her wi t h women t han a man who goes on f or hour s wi t h i naut hent i c mat er i al borr owed f r om ot her peopl e. Havi ng a st r ong i nt ent al so pl ays an i mport ant r ol e i n act i ng char i smat i c. A f ew year s back, women woul d of t en t i mes l ose i nt er est whi l e t al ki ng t o me or t hi nk t hat I was B. S. - i ng t hem. The r eason was t hat t hey wer e pi cki ng up on my weak i nt ent . Even t he gi r l s l umber ed wi t h I Qs bar l ey i nt o the doubl e di gi t s pi cked up on t hi s weakness. My pr obl em: I needed t o devel op a st r ong i nt ent . But what does i t mean t o have a st r ong i nt ent ? Thi s i s one of t he most mi sunder st ood t er ms out t her e. Thi s i s due t o t he f ol l i es of some of t he br anches wi t hi n t he f i el d of psychol ogy - such as, Neur o- Li ngui st i c Pr ogr ammi ng - t hat f ai l s t o be pr eci se when def i ni ng t er mi nol ogy. Havi ng a st r ong i nt ent i s most commonl y mi sunder st ood as meani ng: A congr uency bet ween a per son' s ext er nal behavi or s and hi s i nt er nal bel i ef s. Thi s i s, however , not t he meani ng but t he sympt om of havi ng a st r ong i nt ent . Havi ng a st r ong i nt ent i s congr uent l y: 1) Havi ng t he desi r e and t he wi l l t o do what needs t o be done t o achi eve a par t i cul ar out come. 2) Havi ng t he unwaver i ng bel i ef t hat you wi l l achi eve t he i nt ended out come. I f a per son has t he desi r e and t he wi l l t o do what needs t o be done t o achi eve a par t i cul ar out come but does not have t he bel i ef t hat he can achi eve i t , he wi l l come acr oss as needy. Thi s used t o be me. Al t hough I had t he desi r e and t he wi l l t o do what needs t o be done t o achi eve a par t i cul ar out come, I di d not bel i eve or t hi nk t hat I deser ved t he out come. One t hi ng t hat has hel ped me t r emendousl y i s r ehear si ng t he out come of ever yt hi ng I i nt end t o get an ef f ect f r om. So, f or exampl e, i f I i nt end t o tel l a st ory t o i nt r i gue a woman, I wi l l r ehear se i n my mi nd her bei ng i nt r i gued by my st ory. I f , f or exampl e, I i nt end t o have a woman l ean i n and t r y t o ki ss me af t er I have ki ssed her and pul l ed back, I wi l l r ehear se t hi s over and over agai n i n my mi nd. When you ar e i n an at t r act i on f l ow - achi evi ng one
i nt ended out come t o t he next - t he mat er i al qua t ool s f or achi evi ng t hese out comes become t r anspar ent . When dr i vi ng somewher e, f or exampl e, you bar el y not i ce t he car . Al l you ar e concer ned wi t h i s get t i ng t o t he desi r ed pl ace. I t i s onl y when, f or exampl e, you get a f l at t i r e t hat you become consci ous agai n of t he car as a t ool used t o get you t o your i nt ended dest i nat i on. Li kewi se, i t onl y becomes obvi ous t o you and t he woman t hat you ar e t r yi ng t o do somet hi ng t o get a part i cul ar out come when somet hi ng i nt er r upt s t he at t r act i on f l ow, such as: st umbl i ng over your wor ds because you don' t know your mat er i al wel l , or not havi ng t he bel i ef t hat you ar e capabl e of get t i ng your i nt ended out come. . . or what ever . But al l of t he i nt ended out comes we have been di scussi ng - get t i ng her i nt r i gued, get t i ng her t o ki ss you. . . and so on - ar e onl y t ool s t o achi eve t he META- I NTENT: Get t i ng her t o sl eep wi t h you. When a per son has mast er ed t he at t r act i on f l ow, ever yt hi ng becomes t r anspar ent except t he f act t hat he and t he woman ar e goi ng t o sl eep t oget her - t hey bot h know i t i s goi ng t o happen. When a woman encount er s a man of t hi s cal i ber , she wi l l of t en speak about t hat qual i t y she can' t qui t e put her f i nger on t hat dr aws her t o hi m. I n t hi s cul t ur e we of t ent i mes cl assi f y thi s behavi or as “char i sma. ” I n t he REAL WORLD i t comes down t o cont r ol l i ng t he META- FRAME, and havi ng bot h a st r onger r eal i t y and META- I NTENT t han t he woman you ar e at t r act i ng.
