Table of Contents IN THE WAY YOU DO ANYTHING.. YOU DO EVERYTHING
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ROW THROUGH THE WORLD WITH EASE
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BE YOUR OWN COACH. THIS IS HOW YOU END UP FUCKING GIRLS IN LESS THAN 4 MONTHS 8 THE SECRETS TO PULLING, A COMPLETE BREAKDOWN
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COMMUNICATING VALUES- EMOTIONAL STATE AND SEXUAL PROJECTION
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OPENING: PROJECTING STATE
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RED LEADER'S 1000TH POSTING
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MAKING CONNECTIONS
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STUFF I LEARNED GOING OUT 183 DAYS IN A ROW
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ONE EASY WAY TO GO FROM INTERMEDIATE TO ADVANCED: INVISIBLE GAME
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HUMAN AFTER ALL
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ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE FULLY MANNED UP IN ALL YOUR GLORY
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SOMETIMES IT'S NOT ABOUT THE LEVEL OF FRAME CONTROL, BUT WHAT FRAME YOU SET/REPRESENT: NATURAL VS. SELF-TAUGHT FRAMES 51 ASSUME THINGS ARE NOT A PHASE, BUT A PERMANENT CONDITION - UNLESS DRASTIC MEASURES ARE TAKEN 52 DISTANT LIGHT’S PHILOSOPHY OF AN ATTRACTIVE MAN
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In the way you do anything.. you do everything Manwhore
Seems my ability to post has been resurrected as a certain number of threads have been deleted. Just something I wanted to comment on; based on IMs, a current trend on here I've noticed, and the recent loss of Ciaran. You guys gotta understand.. Pushing thru this stuff is the journey. Is the destination. As Tyler says "No one is above the process". The process is the deservedness. How do you get better..? You go out and do it. You experience life. See something difficult that would be uncomfortable? Relish it. It is you growing. It takes a level of life experience to elevate yourself into an area where you "get" this stuff. Some guys want the magic pill so you don't have to go thru it, feel the pain, GROW, and become men. Don't want to push yourself? How 'bout we cut off your foreskin at age 15. How 'bout we shove you out into the wilderness and make you kill a wild animal with your bare hands. How 'bout we require all men to join the military? Gawd I would love this. You trying to talk to me about how hard being social is? Geezez That is the process. That is why you deserve women, why you deserve life, why you deserve the way people treat you and respond to you. Ya maybe you don't have to kill wild animals anymore. Maybe experiencing death or nature in its harshness is not the measure of adulthood anymore. But there still is a measure of who you are; in how you live your life. Reason why you can't get yourself to do certain things socially, i.e. PU, will be the same reason you don't experience success in life. In the way you do anything.. you do everything. You have to be able to, and have experienced the relative harshness of reality, accepted the personal responsibility of your life, figured out how to deal and make your mark on it, to come out the other side, having earned the respect of yourself, and therefore of those around you. Deal with the amogs, the social circle of friends, the bitch-shields, the attitudes, the logistics, the career, the boss, the debt, the higher education. Is this stuff going to grow you up? Make you tough and deserved of women? Hell yes. Are you socially awkward, but otherwise sane? Good, RSD can help you deal with that. They will definitely help you deal with that. Give you a road map so you have a path and plan. Want to get super fucking polished? Like.. bad ass. Attend a bootcamp. Are you experiencing discomfort? Relative failure? GOOOOOD. That shit is awesome. The ability to push on in the face of hardship makes you who you are. Dealing with uncertainty with calmness, forthrightness, and pushing on with it is the measure of a dude. I read about some guys going through despondent times, jaded over the community. WHY! The community is not meant to fill that hole. It can lead/point you in the right direction. But if you're looking to gain/prove your self-worth by becoming better at getting reactions out of other people, out of women.. then holy shit you're fucked. Do you understand women look for this? Any time a woman can feel she is the measure of how a man feels about himself.. he is a goner. If you're trying to use this "PU" to fill a huge fucking hole in your life, your head, your emotional being.. well you're fucked. Don’t ignore that stuff, attempt to use PU to fill it, and then blame PU for the frustration you
feel. "Game" and success is a reflection of your overarching well-being. The community is supposed to make you realize your blindspots, so you can fix them. Those comments in Ciaran’s blog about the “end” of PU leading to nothingness and despair; ya it won’t fulfill your life.. but it doesn’t lead you to despair either. Pure egotistical nonsense. Nothing but you can lead you to despair and personal pain. Done. You can’t take your baggage with you. It's why we tell you, you can't hold onto your hatred of women, selfhatred, low-self esteem, argumentative nature, etc., and experience success with women. Don’t ignore that stuff in lieu of PU. You’ll still be frustrated in the end. Those are all reflective of what is going on inside you. If you have not dealt with this all, then why do you think women or society will let you in? But don’t blame yourself, instead take action. And don’t subtly blame someone else for your lack of growth, or point negative attention at the other guy. Because then you’re stuck aren’t you. You’re resisting your reality and focusing your attention on that which does not matter. You are the process. Not them. You worry about you. They’ll worry about them. Also try not to project your feelings concerning something, onto the actions of someone else. Making assumptions is dangerous. Creates blindspots. If you are not getting the results you need, accept it, do not resist it. Do not look elsewhere. Look inside. You get back from people what you project outwards about yourself. Sure maybe a single interaction, a single “opening”, is a bit superficial.. but that’s why you’re not to be bothered by being "blown out". You can come back 5 minutes later and have a great time with the same girls or group of people. Men deserve women because they've experienced self-doubt, experienced fear and uncertainty, pain, even anguish. And shoved through it. This is core confidence. Confidence in their ability to deal with a situation, whatever may arise, and to deal with it. This is natural game. The ability to naturally deal with situations, communicate your intent and purpose naturally, rather than having to resort to a routine, and get stuck if you do not have a predetermined stack. How do you become a social bad ass? By developing faith and acceptance in yourself. How do you get these? By pursuing and achieving personal success in yourself/through yourself; and continuing to pursue it, not allowing stagnation or procrastination. This is core confidence. Is learning routines bad? Hell no. You are developing the ability to deal with situations, and life in general. Routines is training yourself, is building the social experience to deal. But say you don’t have routines down, or natural game, charisma, etc. Is that a reason to not put your personality on the line? Risk losing a false sense of identity? Because you fear it? What is fear but inexperience? You fear what you do not know. So therefore get out there and experience life. Fall down, get back up. This is what a man is, it is the measure of a man, and how much he deserves in life. He takes, he does not get it handed to him on a forum. I've seen all kinds of rationalizations for the kind of depth of experience some of us guys push ourselves through: "Oh he's a chauvinist, a bully, uncaring and unfeeling. Insensitive. He's an asshole." No dude. We just don't let shit slow us down. The top guys on here are not here to get laid or talk about getting laid. We get laid. End of story. It is not our purpose, our end-all. If it were we probably wouldn't be getting laid. Seriously. Tim..? Full positive angelic nimbus? A hard ass. One of the most naturally leading dudes I've ever met. I thought it only existed in the military before I met boy wonder. Tyler? A fucking rough dude. Someone I trust to take the hearts and minds of this community forward in the
right direction. Nathan? I don't have to talk about that guy. This is what women look for. Seek. These guys earned their success. Anything besides this is why women fundamentally have a problem with the "seduction" community. They hate the idea of a man being able to seduce a woman, without having earned that hard place to become a naturally seductive man. Most women are already there. You might think they're batty, emotional, ditzy. You're not supposed to worry about that. Why are you looking to her for emotional stability? That comes from you. She is supposed to be able to play in your playground. In the social context of you. This is why RSD teaches inner game. It is why we teach you to become whole. And why we don't focus on routines. Because YOU are all YOU need. How could it be any other way? Does this seem hard to you all of a sudden? That you can’t rely on someone else to bring you success? That’s only a thought, a fleeting assumption. The process is the destination, is the success, is the pride in yourself and the positive emotions. You are the prize to be won.
ROW Through the World with Ease PrinceOfPersia
Am I so far gone that I prematurely tout this off-the-cuff article as my personal magnum opus? Nay, I daresay tisn’t the first time I’ve been premature in my days of spouting off improvisational hodgepodgery. I can barely use my lungs to jazz improv, so I doubt I can make a woman trumpet with my trumpet if I blow too soon. On the trumpet, that is. But enough bizarre and hard-to-understand metaphors inexplicably expressed through second-rate Shakespearean dialect, yessirs. Onward with the show. I am a stickler for simplicity; perhaps my general lack of cognitive capacity, or more accurately, short attention span is to blame. But I adore boiling things down to the bones so as to teach the way of scraping two sticks together. It serves me, and incidentally, the broadest range of my kin – in this case, those of the masculine variety. I can’t quite spit this out in a single zen-like phrase, so I will instead consolidate an abbreviation within a zenlike phrase that wasn’t even written by me. But I can lay claim to at least half and certainly the cleverer portion: “ROW through the world with ease.” Relax Offer value Walk your path Before your eyes glaze over in a seizure of self-help terminological oversaturation, allow me to elaborate. I find this is all I need to succeed nowadays. And through introspection, any man. A game of puzzle that is straightforward but interconnected – firing on all cylinders one can expect a new reality of superheroic proportions. If you feel like you can skim this and understand the basics, then do so. But taking in the full article will give you a greater understanding of why this is the shit, virtually all you need, and will give you more faith in implementing it thoughtlessly but effectively. RELAX. First the nut before the bolts. Get that nut right off. The similar feeling of easy breeziness postrelease. It’s a simple chill of presence, soaking up the vibes of the moment and per discretion, the environment. Acquiring this is first and foremost of paramount importance. Three ways to achieve this state consistently: 1) Bring Ecky back. Hardcore. Let it zen then zone you out. Don’t think about not thinking, just let him talk your busy brain into a place where it feels comfortable to let go. Once you find that place it will be like hitting a 45 degree hill on rollerblades with shoddy brakes. 2) Let go of everything that is not conducive to that state – anything you notice that would normally stress you out, let it go. Anything negative, let it go or laugh it off. Any insecurities, comparisons, fears… let it go. Deal with it with it comes up, and when it comes up you’ll be in this state and it won’t even be a problem, chicken. 3) “Break rapport with logic.” I came up with that, I think I’m pretty smart. Christ, that’s ironic. Anyway, since that “vibe state” you’re aiming for is pure emotion and burgeoning euphoria, you have to literally MOCK and
INCINERATINGLY NEUTRALIZE your logic. “But I’m scared” – you jump in and dominate with “--ROW through the world with ease.” “I can’t think of anything to say” – slice it up with “--it’s all good.” “What if this or that happens” – own yourself with “--oh yeah, I love it when that happens!” Or fuck, that’s really being too kind. Just jump on your logical protests and overserious chode patterns with the stupidest shit you can conjure. "[Random logical bullshit]" – cut in with “--Slob my knob hoe!” The more vulgar the better, clearly. It doesn’t have to be anything special. Point is you’re pummelling it and subconsciously labelling it irrelevant. Which it is… intellectual masturbation is ego masturbation. Real masturbation is at least 2.5 times more fun. Relaxing, allowing that formless state to be the beautiful place you dwell at all times. Getting to know it as your home. It’s essentially egoless and therefore essentially masculine (since you are in a man’s body). You can express anything you want and let it go as it goes. It’s an unreactive but responsive state at its core, and carefree. Just remember not to create anxiety around relaxing – the same thing as thinking about not thinking. Retarded. Shed the anxiety by adhering to the unity of ROW and the methods and understandings outlined above. Kicking it down before general restlessness and irritability sets in (talking to my keyboard sucks compared to real people). OFFERING VALUE. Damn this is deep. Sound like a buzzword or two but it really is a deep rearranging of your psychology. It implies so many things at once to your subconscious and other people, and when taken as a rule, has massive benefits for your reality. Note to self: turn on lights. It feels like I live in the Batcave. Condoms strewn everywhere, soggy sheets… ambiguous stench. Perhaps the lights are off for a reason, my room probably looks like a crime scene. Now check it. Here’s the idea: you offer value to literally EVERYONE you meet without caring if they reciprocate or not. It is a rule, and your uncompromised frame. Take it on immediately, trust in it unequivocally. For you dorkus deluxorz who insist on doubting me, here is the reasoning behind it: -You simply cannot offer value to EVERYONE in an egotistical state. Your mind will put up resistance on certain people, and tell you “it’s not worth it” or “she seems like a bitch” or “I can’t connect with that type of person.” And then you know you’re in the wrong state – you can’t be continuously relaxed in an ego state. Cause or effect works – relax fully and you can offer value to everyone, force yourself to offer value to everyone and you’ll start to relax more and more. -Value starts with the vibe. All you have to do is cultivate the good, pure vibe of self esteem and direct your attention on everyone you meet, even if only for a moment. That way you’re developing the habit for yourself and living up to the standard, cementing a non-ego reality and thus a non-ego (relaxed) state. Giving your attention to each person you come across is sufficient for “offering value” although obviously it goes deeper than that. -As Alex~ says there’s nothing anyone can give you that you can’t get yourself as a man. That’s true, and on many different levels. Thus to come from a truly masculine frame you have come from the offering value frame. -Only your ego wants to take value. If you don’t engage your ego you automatically give value. The biggest implication of this is that if you truly step to people offering value YOU WILL STAY OUTSIDE YOUR HEAD. You can only go inside your head if you are trying to figure out how to take or manipulate value out of people.
-It puts you at ease with yourself knowing that it’s your only interpersonal intention and possible action. This feeds full relaxation state. It eliminates social anxiety, which can only come from self-seeking (value taking). Pure expression arises instead. -Last but not least, the content is irrelevant. You learn that from this good intention you can say whatever you want (barring massive Jeffy-circa-‘04 miscalibration). Value can come in the form of total space, presence, attention, vibing, jokes, resources, contacts, guidance, wisdom, knowledge, seeing yourself in them, whatever. But as long as it arises from the first piece of the puzzle, relaxation, you’re set to explode into a higher level of value output (thus yielding a more prosperous reality). Mostly if you stay outside your head and in a flow state you will automatically offer value to everyone. But check in with yourself every once and a while to make sure you don’t make an ego out of the new self you’re seeing, and continue to offer value, since each social situation and space-based companion is a freshly minted moment to master and give your all to. As long as you maintain this attitude and standard of offering value WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING BACK and take responsibility for it, you become welcome, socially proofed and influential everywhere you go, you always have a good time, and you attract people and situations who will bring that value back to you in SPADES, in ways you can’t even begin to imagine right now. Magic guaranteed. WALK YOUR PATH. This will probably alter slightly with self esteem as you will relinquish certain egoic drives. On the other hand things like hitting the gym, eating healthy, focusing on excellence in work and school and such should become stronger than ever with the first two components fueling them. Walking your path is essential for cultivating polarity, concentration, and directing your value to the places that you deem the most deserving. Another huge part of walking your path is not betraying the first two parts of the puzzle. If anything detracts from your positive state or your ability to offer value freely, IT IS NOT PART OF YOUR PATH. That's how you
know what to acknowledge in your reality, and what not to – while still maintaining an open, chill state.
Your centeredness and purity of state and value you have to offer will become amplified the more you walk your path and do what you need to do for you. So there you have it gents and gentiles. Relax totally at all times, breaking rapport with your logic to access your self esteem continuously. Offer value to all indiscriminately, indifferent to the returns you get. And walk your path, further fulfilling yourself as a man and in turn fulfilling the first two criteria. Don’t neglect any part of the philosophy or it falls apart. Fail to relax, and you will be constantly scrambling to get the other two parts down. Fail to offer value, and your entire worldview and relationships will get scrambled. Fail to walk your path, and you will be a pile of scrambled eggs, a jelly-legged polarity-devoid excuse for a man. Unscramble and you unearth the simplicity of yourself and life. And then you can not walk, not run, but ROW your way through the world with ease. Happy rowing my friends. It’s good to be back. PoP
Be Your Own Coach. This is how you end up fucking girls in less than 4 months ReallityFactory
I can assure you 100% that you will be pulling in less than 4 month, not one year, not two years, not four years; but like in any other program, you will need to stick to it. So here it is: -Go out with nothing planned, 7 days a week for 15 weeks in a row. You can take one day off a week if you feel you need it, but I can tell you that this gets addicted and you will keep wanting going out. -Socialize with everybody in the venue, meaning, don't stop socializing, no time to chode at the bar line, at the bathroom or pinging around. Talk to the first person you see. -Assume everyone is your friend and they all like you. I'm sure you have a group of friends where you can just chill and nothing holds you back from being yourself, so apply the same approach to the pub. -Plow with everybody, stay with the tension, learn to take social pressure, don't poof for no reason. Give them a chance, remember they may just be nervous. -Don't think ahead anything to say, remember trying to impress will only show neediness, thinking ahead is trying to impress, you don't need to make any sentence longer, you are there to be out of the house and interact with people as any other socially healthy human being. -Lower the standards of what you have to say, what you have to say is worth it becomes it comes from you, so anything, even if you are talking about dog shit, assume is interesting enough because it is coming from you. -Whatever happens to you, assume is the coolest thing going on, the coolest thing going on is not in two hours, was not two hours ago, the coolest thing is happening right now in front of your eyes, not to the group over there, not to the guy over there, it is happening to you. -Always know what you want. Never think about what you don't want. Only think about what you want, and take right action on it. Whether is calling up on people's behavior, hugging a girl, kissing, etc. Only do what you core dictates, people will appreciate you for being authentic. -Do not compare, do not judge, do not interpret, do not label anything that the girl wear, do, or say. Do not focus on her mind, she is not her mind, so there is absolutely no reason to focus on her mind. Focus on her heart, her heart and soul is where is at, literally. -Do not judge yourself, do not compare yourself, do not label yourself, feel good with yourself, your sense of value is not dictated by what you are seeing, or listening or anything that is coming through your senses. You are the only one that decides how you want to feel, you are your own authority. -Don't forget that kino and escalation comes from this one question: What do I want right now? It does not come from this question: What should I do right now? That what should do question should never enter your thoughts. -Remember you are the man, You take accountability for everything that happens. You never put any responsibility on her. It's all on you. You make the decisions, you don't wait for her to make a decision, she expects you to make the decisions for her. The key is to have fun with it. It is suppose to be for your own fun. Do not to try to learn everything at the same time, that's like eating all 6 meals at once. Remember that it is just like going to the gym, you have to
stick to it. Keep a journal and don't forget to always be closing. Expect consistency and easiness in your game. Don't get caught up on the techniques, you can use anything you want, the idea of techniques is to have diversity so you don't come up so restricted, more than techniques to use, you should look at it as games to play, as something to have fun with. Here are some examples of things you can use to self amuse in the field during each day: -Misinterpretations/Sexual Innuendo -Cold Reading -Storytelling -Take Aways -Plotlines/Roleplaying -Future Adventure Projections -Push/Pull -Teaching Something Of Interest -Elastic band snapback effect (used with playful breaking rapport tonality) -Extreme multiple threading -Compliance ladders -Playful teasing and negging aka flirting -Nicknames and pimp talk -Disqualification -Silly games (Fuck-Marry-Kil, second grade games, etc.) -The anomaly effect -Conspiracies -Qualifying and Challenging (Are you fun?) -Shock And Awe Do the same approach for practicing kino. Here are some things you can use to get some touch going: -Kissing -Holding hands -Moving her around -Playful dancing -Physical games -Handshake -Massaging -Pinging -Playful rubbing -Scratching -Grab her hair from the back of her neck -Playful pushing -Teaching something physical -Poking, tapping -Playful pulling -Cuddling -Spanking -Biting -Hugging -Clawing -Keylock -Ask her to touch you (feel this muscle) Imagine you approach an average of 12 girls per night. In 3 weeks you will have 252 girls of experience and in a little over 3 months you will have 1,260 girls of experience. How much experience do you have now?
The Secrets to Pulling, A Complete Breakdown Julien
I’ve been really focusing on my public speaking lately. Usually talking for the first 30 minutes at the R eal Social Dynam ics Free Tours with Tyler and working on developing some of my newer material and concepts as well as a longer segment I have about “pulling” that I want to share with you here in writing. I’ll probably post this up in a three or four part article trying to maybe include some short video segments as well to really break this topic down and explain the details of it. I like to view Pulling as the new Opening. What I mean by this is, take the example of when you’re new to all of this or first getting started out, or even a few years back in this community where some of the concepts we had were not as polished and developed as they are now. Everything seemed to be about opening, how to open or what exactly to say when approaching women. And your Reticular Activation System would be entirely dedicated to this area and focused on that first part of the interaction: “How do I open?” “What is your best opener?” “What do you say when you approach women?” A few of the most asked questions and probably the most important ones in your mind at that time being that those were the ones you were really aiming to achieve. But I find that as soon as you start to get more interactions going and really reaching that intermediate level of success, your attention starts to shift as to how to get actual results with women. “How do I pull her?" “How do I make something out of the interaction?” Or more commonly, “All of my interactions seem to be going so well but they’re not going anywhere.” And I think this was one of my biggest sticking points while I was developing myself in this area. How to actually have sex with the women that I was meeting. I would remember going out night after night working on my social skills and getting better and better at them to the point where everything that came out of my mouth that I would say would have the perfect impact, tonality and timing behind it that I wanted. There was literally nothing more I could think of doing better in my mind then what I was saying or doing at the time. It was also frustrating thinking how much more or how better does this have to be to start actually making something out of the interactions I was having? As a side note, I would still get a lot of results off Day 2’s or the occasional situations where the girl would just tell me to take her home. But there wasn’t any of the consistency I wanted to it.
I wanted to get to a point where I would pretty much be able to go out any night to any new place and meet someone with whom I would actually be able to make something happen. I would also hear or read about all of these stories where this happens and always thinking to myself what the next missing step I needed was. At the same time another sticking point I had was that I was also viewing progress as a straight rigid line where I would learn one thing after another. I wanted to stack each part of the process one at a time until every piece would be there and I would reach the end results that I wanted. It was thinking in ways of first learning how to open and start up a conversation, then keeping the conversation going and how to ask for her number, etc etc. And that once all the steps of the way aligned, I would have the right structure established for it. But it’s more in terms of developing yourself as a whole instead of a linear progression. There’s no straight path to this. It’s oscillating between working on different areas of yourself and of your personality at the same time. Continually making each part of them more dense and stronger as a whole. Going out more smooth for a while and then with more self amusement, for example. But there is no “one thing after the next” type of self actualization in this case. But the main reason I wasn’t getting to the level I wanted to be at or seeing the progress I wanted to see was that I had lost focus on what I wanted. I wasn’t moving in a direction involving any actual results because I wasn’t trying to get them at the time. It wasn’t where my focus was at. Ask yourself, WHAT DO YOU WANT WHEN TALKING TO A WOMAN? Why did you approach her and why are you still there with her in front of you? Is it to develop your social skills? Is it to gain new reference experiences or to reinforce certain concepts you’re working on in your mind? Is it to get her to feel real attraction for you? Is it to try to impress your peer group or the people around you by not looking bad in front of them or being rejected? What exactly do you want? And the answer to this should always be HER. You’re there talking to her because you want her. You’re a man and she’s a woman and just by that fact you’re both naturally and biologically attracted to each other. She is to you as you are to her. There shouldn’t be any other reason than that. You always tend to gravitate towards what you want or what you’re aiming for, be it consciously or unconsciously. I like to view it as similar to learning how to drive a vehicle for the first time. When you first take the wheel you’re instructed to always look straight ahead and not at the oncoming traffic. If you look away you’ll start moving in that direction and be more likely to cause an accident. If I go out and I’m focused on perfecting my social skills, getting more reference experiences or trying not to
look bad in front of the people around me, then those will turn out to be the areas I’ll usually gravitate towards and achieve in terms of progress. So if I’m not entirely focused on getting what I want which is her I can’t complain that I’m not getting any results with women. I would be focused on other specific areas of the interaction and those would be what I ended up with. So when it comes down to pulling you always have to remind yourself why you’re there and why you’re talking to her. Finding that core reason behind the interaction through which everything you say or do should come from. You’re a man and she’s a woman and just by that fact you’re attracted to her and you want her. It’s as simple as that, as long as you don’t lose focus. One of the things that I’ve always found fascinating when it comes down to social dynamics and the self actualization aspect of it is that there are always going to be different paradoxes attached to each and every area of development. And I think that realizing this and understanding it has probably been one of the most important factors that has cut my learning curve drastically in the past. BEING ABLE TO SIMOULTENEOUSLY ACCEPT OPPOSING IDEAS IN YOUR MIND. Realizing that there is never going to be one right way of doing things or any all-encompassing view of each aspect of game that will be able to suit you or anyone else, when you’re dealing with social interactions and human beings in general. This is also one of the hardest things to let go of when first getting into this, especially if you have the linear view of progression that I talked about in Part 1 of this article: viewing learning different things as a step by step process and building that straightforward structure to get the results that you had originally set out for. There is no linear learning curve as there is never going to be any one way of doing or learning them. It’s all paradoxical. There are always going to be different theories and opposing ideas related to every single part of social interactions that you’ll have to learn to simultaneously accept and believe in. It’s the only way to really get good at this and reach that consistency in results that only some people are able to attain. You have to work on yourself to be open minded and adaptable to reconcile them. You need to be like water (Cf. Tyler in The Blueprint Decoded) Some of examples that I like to use to illustrate this phenomenon would be:
Having Intent, but at the same time having Freedom From Outcome. Screening For Logistics vs. Persisting For Logistics. Don’t be something you’re not, be yourself and express yourself. However, at the same time be willing to
evolve your identity and be willing to adapt to different social situations. And the list goes on… This applies to literally every single aspect of game in my opinion. At any given time, I probably have around ten different opposing ideas that I simultaneously believe in and apply related to every single concept and theory that I’ve learned. So many people limit themselves by not accepting different paradoxes in their minds. It’s much easier and less overwhelming to see and stay on one straight single path instead of seeing the infinite multitude of different options. It becomes similar to staying in and prolonging their comfort zone. And this is something important to understand and to keep in mind when learning things about anything in life in general as well. ========= Now when it comes to pulling, this really applies to having the right mindset behind it. When you ask any guy who’s been really successful with women they’ll usually fall into one of the two following categories: Being in an ACTIVE Mating Strategy vs. Being in a PASSIVE Mating Strategy. When you’re in a Proactive Mating Strategy you’ll always be entirely focused on pulling and getting the girl. No matter what it is or what it takes, you will always do anything for the pull. Your mind’s only focus is on getting her and it will do anything in it’s power to achieve that. If you fall into this category one of the things you’ll notice is that when you go out you’re usually not always there to have fun. You’ll realize that when you’re in the process of meeting women, you’re only there on a mission. You’re not going to waste your time hanging out and talking to your friends, for example. There is no personal vibing or slowly building it as the night goes on. You’re only there to get what you want which, as covered in the first part of this article is her. And that’s the only thing your RAS (Reticular Activation System) is going to be focusing on. You’ll be there pursuing a consistent game plan that delivers the consistent results and outcome that you were set out for. You’re mind is only looking for interactions that will be going somewhere, and it will discard and block out anything else. It’s a ”this is going to go somewhere” type of mentality. Some of other traits related to being in an Active Mating Strategy, where a lot of value is placed on sex, would be keeping a list of the women that you’ve been with. I remember doing this when I first started out in all of this: viewing each pull as a new conquest or a new accomplishment. Another one for the scoreboard… and use that as a motivation to take action. The same applies to if a girl calls you at 3 a.m. and although you’re tired and working early the next day, you’re still going to get up and drive over there to see her. Your mind is actively operating towards the pull.
========= In a Passive Mating Strategy, one of best ways I like to describe it is using the example of David Duchovny’s character in the TV Show Californication: The idea the sex is just something that naturally happens all the time. When you look at the character that he plays in the show, Hank Moody, does it look like he places a lot of value on sex? Does he view it as something to be conquered or something that he must absolutely achieve to feel complete? Is it really that important or complicated to him? Sex is easy. He just knows that it’s going to happen because of who he is and the fact that he’s on his own path and in his own reality. It’s not something that he has to proactively engineer to make it happen. Pulling just becomes part of who he is and what he naturally does, all the time. It’s not something that he makes a big deal out of. He doesn’t let it define who he is or overblow it’s importance in his mind. There is no mental complexification of it. Pulling ends up becoming something that is easy and second nature. It’s like a flow, he just goes with it while having fun and the interaction just naturally results in sex. He also understands the fact that girls like sex just as much as men, if not more. And he has an abundance mentality towards it. ========= HAVING THE PARADOXICAL MENTALITY. How I want to conclude this part of the article would be aiming to have a mentality behind pulling that would include both of the extremes that I just described here. Believing in the best of both worlds, even though most of their aspects are contradicting.
You want to be focused on pulling as it fills the criteria “What Exactly Do You Want?” but at the same time, you also want to be independent of the outcome and internally centered on yourself. You want to be having fun and naturally influencing the women you meet and creating attraction, but you also want to be aware of the logistical side of and proactively deal with it. You w ant to be in an ACTIVE M ATING STRATEGY as you also w ant to be in a PASSIVE M ATING STR ATEGY.
Communicating Values- Emotional State and Sexual Projection Manwhore
Controlling your Emotional State: Most people base their emotional state, their idea of success, and even their own self-esteem on where they think society would place them. Whether it be because we see the media pick apart celebrities and politicians or because magazines and the like tell us what to wear, look like, and even act like- this idea is ingrained in us- it is fundamental- it is our lens on reality. But the problem is not that some magazine has a cool and interesting idea on how they think a male should act and look- but that people now doubt their own originality and way of doing things. Basic things like uttering a thought outloud, people's opinions on their own personal talents and skills- i.e. an artist thinking he's shit 'cuz he can't play sports, even being in tune and acting on your desires- it's all done through a filter. Fuck the filter. Are you where you want to be, are you taking action in your life? Are you working to improve yourself..? Take your own word for how you think you should feel. Everyone else will take your word for it. People will only judge you for how you judge yourself. Now realize that some of you will have to work a little harder at this because you are dealing with people who think they know who you are and don't want you to change. A friend of mine snuck her 16 year old sister into a bar- they'd had dinner there earlier and then never left. Someone who knew her got jealous of the attention she was getting from the guys and told management. So security came for her sister and took her to another part of the bar to question her. My friend found me with a scared bewildered look on her face- her emotional/mental state was hopeless- she was in no condition to do anything to help her sister. She had been completely overwhelmed by the situation. She asked if I could do anything. I went and found her sister being questioned by security- she was in even worse condition- they were questioning her about how she got into the bar and she couldn't even form words to talk. She was just looking up imploringly at the bouncer with a helpless and scared look on her face. The problem at this point is that the bouncer could tell the girl was under his spell, it was power and he really didn't want to give it up. He'd projected a frame of her being guilty and she'd fallen right into it, he was master at this point. I walked up, announced calmly to the guy that she had been having dinner with her sister earlier and that now she was now going to simply leave. It took him a bit to even want to acknowledge me, I repeated myself firmly and said she just needed to leave now. She got some of her bearing back and nodded her head in acknowledgement. He stood there for a couple seconds more and then simply said, "ok go." "Hey.. do you believe in magic spells? ;)" I do This is typical. Every day people react to situations in the manner in which they think they should be reacting or are used to reacting. It's like they live in a program: the social Matrix. 'Ok I got caught.. cue negative feelings of guilt, insecurity and bullshit.' Or 'She doesn't like me, there must be something wrong with me. I'm not good enough to get women like that.' Do NOT let someone or something- a situation- project a negative frame onto you. Own your emotional reaction. It is yours to control! Realize that you can choose to let something bother you and ruin your day- or not. Your emotions and feelings aren't meant to just come and go based on external factors.. I think some people think they are. Discipline your mind. Otherwise someone will perceive they have authority over you and own you, a woman will see these cues and not give you the time of day. A woman will look to your cues to see how to react to you and how to perceive you- are you high value? Does her little attitude bother you? If it does then you're not what she wants.. this is the female screening process. Real Communication: Male/Female Dynamics Some of you guys seem hardwired to be combative with girls... like you need for them to validate your dominant frame or at least recognize it. You don't..
In the past I would be guilty of this also, I look back now and realize that if I'd just not allowed myself to become involved in these situations (mentally or emotionally), there wouldn't have been an issue, and these females would responded to me much better. Women were never meant to be the judge of a guy's value.. they are hardwired to pick at it! If a guy allows a girl any room to be a judge of his value- he is automatically lower value. I think this might actually apply across the board of human interaction. Girls are.. girls. They aren't meant -or even enough- to bring out my dominant side. But my vibe communicates that I seriously handle my shit. They know it.. but they won't have to experience it themselves. This is actually what they want. We are men.. we fight lions, the earthly elements, provide strong emotional context for what matters and what doesn't (when girlies wrap themselves emotionally around dumb shit), and.. WE DO NOT GET IN CONTESTS WITH WOMEN.
A quick note on comfort building: Introduce your values- don't just go for a stronger emotional connection. You should be using this time to make her realize you are nonjudgmental about her being a sexual creature and acting on her desires. I've heard some guys post that the girl "figures out" what you're doing and maybe even calls you on it. But this shouldn't be a problem. Project. Project feeling and sincerity. Body language, eye contact and voice. I make girls comfortable talking about and expressing their sexuality. I communicate that this is just the kind of dude I am- it's my reality. Your identity needs to be that of a guy who gives and receives attention from females. Freeflow. You just.. respond to things different than other guys. You can be the guy who banged a girl in a closet, and there's a guy right next to you who's getting sexual harrassment charges for being creepy, because.. his behavior is just not acceptable in the workplace. He didn't give himself permission to be this way, acted incongruent- therefore he didn't deserve to be acting like that. Girls picked up on this. I just read Tyler's article on the "Secret Society". That's what I'm talking about here.. Controlling your frame before projecting sexuality: A lot of guys probably think I'm some rabid sexual monster- that I just lay on the sexual vibe without regard to the mental state of the woman I am talking to- that my skill lies in so getting a woman to accept the strong game I "throw" at her. This is really not the case- it is actually very well calibrated to the state she's in.. the difference is that I can actually put her there- I can get her ready for what I really want. When I recognize her signs (basically how strong she's reacting to my cues) I act on them, I grab her and pull her in, I give her sexual eye contact, I tell her upfront what I'm going to do to her, I lift up her skirt or gaze at her body plainly. Maybe she's not ready for something so potent, so I'll calibrate to the level she's at, rinse wash repeat. The most important thing I can do, is touch her. More on this later. Some girls I can be quite upfront with, others I know I have to approach the topic in a roundabout way- either they're just not in touch with it because of ASD or they're just not sexual people. I do this with some skillusually through misinterpretation, jokes, telling her a story that starts off sounding so innocent but with a sexual side, or just through plain kino. One girl who I could tell was quite reserved and out of touch with her sexuality I told a story about a physical I got from a doctor who wanted to turn off the lights so he could "get a better look". So when I was done we started talking about her experiences with gynecologists- she said it was uncomfortable being laid out naked on a table and having them use steel instruments on her. I was laughing, It was a perfect opportunity- I realized her frame on it was negative, so what I did was project a fun positive vibe about her lying there like that, and then told her if it had been me I would have put my instruments in the freezer before she came in. She laughed. So I turned an uncomfortable topic for her into a fun one and then put myself in it in a sexual way. This wasn't a natural flow of the conversation either- it was a buildup of sexualness and I was listening to her cues to make sure she was in my frame. It's more than realizing she's actually listening to me and building off the thread I start, it's listening for her tonal responsiveness to my reality. When she's accepted my take on things then I know I can proceed. I control, or take over the frame with vocal and tonal projection. Bottom line. Eye contact is already there, so is relaxed confident body language. You need to have these down already. Be relaxed with yourself and your surroundings. There is no reason not to be relaxed around people and be able to look people in the eye and stand there relaxed.. people want you to be this way. They're more comfortable this way. But don't concern
yourself with acting overly "cool" or Alpha. Just. Be. Relaxed. "The Self is always showing through.." Going back to vocal projection- a lot of people say don't care about other people's reaction to you, yet when you're socializing and projecting this seems almost counterintuitive.. aren't you trying to get a reaction? Aren't we "running game"? We are actively looking for compliance cues from females and even males- so how can we not care? I understand the point of this whole "don't care what people think" but for new guys who don't understand the underlying concept it possibly confuses them. Maybe a more helpful framing of this concept would be to say that when you speak, sound like you expect a good reaction- that you want people to hear what you have to say, more than just trying to get people's attention- your mannerism demands it. So you project it for all to hear with a carefree attitude. Realize that this is what a socially well-calibrated person actually sounds like. There's a solid Mmmphf to your voice.. it doesn't waiver or falter, and it does not fade off. If you find yourself saying something that you don't think is going to be acceptable, you either cut yourself off with a "-wait fuck that that's not what I meant" or just say it and act normal. Do not ever let your sentence trail away into obscurity or your voice fall into a mumble. That is death. I am a military officer- I have to sound like I'm in charge. Whether I'm telling dudes to mop the floors or we're rolling up on an "enemy" position and my platoon needs my directives, My voice can say so much about my internal state- I need it to say I'm the one they should be listening to. But I modulate my voice to the environment I'm in. I'm not going to be barking all the time- even with my soldiers. When I was in sales and I was speaking to a housewife I made my voice sound "nicer" and sweeter, when I had a male customer my voice hardened slightly. Calibration. When a guy pulled a gun in my face I spoke evenly and calmly, I did not let the situation escalate by sounding scared, or sounding aggressive, I think my buddy pooed his pants though and that ruined it- the dude smelled his fear. My tonality is flexible- I want it to be able to communicate different things when I want. My projection remains even- I have something to communicate and you and you and you, are going to listen. You can hold attention with your voice- 'When I speak.. people listen.' Even if you're not in the mood to be social and be the party guy it doesn't mean you have to sound like you're a lesser value guy. Answer people with gusto- be comfortable holding attention when it is required or asked of you, even if for a little bit. When I speak with females my voice is softer and has a greater tonality range. Sometimes I even coo. I don't "bark" at females, they don't want to be barked at, they just want to know that you have the capacity to bark. They might try to instigate you, at this point you want to be unreactive, but if they overstep your boundaries then you quickly let them know. And then subside.. we fight lions and tigers.. a male getting into a power contest with a female shows a fundamental weakness on his part. A man does not fret over what a woman thinks of him. More on the military.. Many senior NCOs- E6s and above- are used to being able to project over an inexperienced or unsure Lieutenant, even though the LT outranks them- it's taking advantage, and I can't blame them. I walked into a situation the other day where a senior NCO was putting another Lieutenant on the spot over something silly- it wasn't even an accusation, just a way of projecting and phrasing something that made the Lieutenant feel like he was obligated to answer the NCO the way he wanted. Then he tried it on me, not quite the same reaction.. I just stood there looking at him and said "WHAT?" Simple projection of my voice- no accusation, just subcommunicating to him that I knew my role and I was sure of myself. The frame changed. By looking at him evenly and comfortably- and speaking the same way, his manner of communicating changed, This wasn't about me "being in charge." I don't need stupid validation like that, this was a man to man "don't pull that crap on me" vibe. Simple mutual respect. Physicalness is the last key: I was with my wing SDC (Austin) a couple of weeks ago in San Diego's PB Bar & Grill. I saw two very attractive blonds sitting down at the bar having a drink. I opened them with "HEEY are you speaking Spanish..?" With a quizzical look on my face, I was slightly leaned in, demanding an answer but my overall
vibe was one of fun. She laughed and said something. I laughed and said something. Blah blah. Then they
continued on their conversation- I heard one of them say to the other about some guy being "so anal about this shit!" I leaned in again.. "By the way.. (pause and quickly look at the other girl before continuing on) I'm anal about my shit too ;)" They both laughed- the set was now open. I slowly escalated sexual topic until we were talking about blowjobs and facials and the like. One of the girls was a pregnant housewife- gorgeous girl, and she asked me why some guys liked pregnant women. I made up a reason on the spot about how us guys put a pillow under a girl's tummy to lift up her bottom and give us better access to it- whether we're tonguing her down or entering her from behind- and that her being pregnant did this for us already. I got them talking very freely about their sexuality, the things they wanted to try and stuff. I told the single girl I was going to find us a mexican girl to take home with us, she laughed and gave a little resistance. Anyways long story short I got her number and myspace and then told them we were going to take off, I leaned in and pulled her into me to give her a hug and kiss, shook the other girl's hand and we walked away. SDC said to me, "All that 'game', all that sexual stuff you were talking about with them, didn't mean anything until you gave her a hug." FUCK! He was so right. It really didn't mean anything, didn't have any kind of real connection. The real anchor is always in physical touch.
The Claw: If you guys aren't comfortable touching a girl and being relaxed and confident about it, you're
fucked. You just aren't gonna get laid. I've talked to a couple of you who have actually told me, "Well I just don't like to be touched.. it makes me uncomfortable." Women are sensual creatures, they can tell a lot about a person through how they're touched by them. Is this person comfortable in his own skin enough to be that close with someone else? Do they see themselves as high value enough and their reality strong enough that they can just assume someone else would want to be part of it? Is this person a sexually experienced person? This is why the claw is so powerful- it's attraction/comfort/dominance/seduction/fool's mate all in one. Remember you don't just put your arm around her shoulder like a wet dishrag, you grab her, hold her and pull her in to you. The claw is dynamic- the grip is dynamic- it's not a feeling she can dismiss like background noise- she feels it's presence at all times. When I meet a girl for a first date I immediately get physical with her. I'll casually walk up on the side of her and claw her in, I'll give her a squeeze and then let her go- walking at my own pace and letting her fall in-step with me. If she says something cute or we make random eye contact I'll pull her in to a light headlock, maybe give her a noogie and then push her away from me. When I'm out publicly with her I project vocally to whoever I'm interacting with- whether it be a movie ticket salesman or a waiter. She wants to see this. When we sit down together I take up a lot of space, I subtly take over her area also. This is why I like taking girls to see a movie- my physical presence is just so palpable with her sitting next to me. At this point I will reach my arm that's on her side across her body to her opposite thigh and hold her there, slightly pulling her in. It's another version of the claw. I'll pull her in and slightly behind me so my shoulder is in front of hers and I'm slightly leaning back against her. Picture this. She feels very protected and in your space whether she realizes it or not. It's a very dominant way to sit with a girl. I think there's pros and cons to taking a girl to any type of movie- I take her to a movie that I want to see. I like horror movies and action flicks- but If scary movies make you nervous let me know, I'll give your girl a call and explain things to her. ;) I don't always employ the claw when I am first meeting girls- I'd say when I'm in the club, at a bar, walking the streets or approaching girls randomly I use it immediately about 60-65% of the time. But I can tell when she's not immediately open, in which case I'll open with something else to prep her for my physicalness. I'm very sensitive to her state- usually if she's willing to stand there and talk to you even for a second and respond to you she wants to be clawed, if she wants to be clawed she's open to be kissed. Yes I use the claw during the day. A lot of you guys don't know or refuse to take on the role you are meant to have in male/female interactions. You want the comfort and security of knowing that she's going to respond well to your advances. You want us
to tell you the exact scientific steps to opening her up and compelling her to make the moves. Stop being a vagina. You are not a vagina. You are all males.. know your role. Males are aggressive and bold about their actions and desires. Females are biologically hardwired to respond to this. Sure you might have a girl not respond well to your initial advance. Boohoo. We do not apologize for our desires as males. Some women might try and see if we will apologize- they might put on a good show for us.. but this isn't what they want. This is the difference between coming off as a creepy horndog, and a masculine, Alpha male with a naturally strong sexual drive. These guys have permission to be this way.. they take it. The others don't. Do not think you'll be able to hide your own desires, not having to act on them until she makes the first move. Take responsibility for the fact that you will lead the interaction with the girl. This isn't about your comfort. It's about hers.. Also realize that you don't have to be concerned with every single little body nuance or flash of eye contact. I am not 100% ultra-masculine all of the time. It doesn't matter.. she knows what I am from my overall communication. After a certain point her perception of you will be so set that when she does notice something not quite rock-hard in mannerism, she'll appreciate it even more. She'll feel she's earned a peek at your softer more vulnerable side. She wants to see this- she wants to know you have this side of you- this is established comfort with her. Violence and Amogs: The military has a lot to offer on this concept. So much is fundamentally built into teaching us the way to communicate. I deal sometimes with soldiers who have fucked up enough to be decreed unfit for military duty. Disrespectful, noncompliant, whatever.. they're out- and they know it. Yet when I am present there is no room for any of this bullshit. My mannerisms and way of acting only allows for them to treat me with respect. I don't look to them to see if I'm doing the right thing, or if I'm being a "cool" Lieutenant, or if they're listening to what I'm saying. I walked into a situation where four of these soldiers were standing face to face, red and screaming, about to throw blows. I walked right into the middle of it- absolutely no room or time for hesitation. "What the FUCK is going on here.. All of you- go downstairs." That was it. There was no room for them to project an aggressive attitude on me- I wanted to know what they were doing. I was the one projecting- not them. I had an ex-girlfriend a few years ago who went into the boys bathroom with her friend because the girl's line was so long. A bouncer put his hands on them and basically forced them out. They immediately got into a confrontation with the guy- yelling, screaming, calling him names. He got aggressive- standing there with fists clenched, calling them names back and acting threatening- a hulking black guy getting in a confrontation with two little 5'5" females. All of it absolutely worthless and wasted effort. He attempted to talk to me- but I wanted nothing to do with him. I was not going to directly address him and let him think we were on the same level. I called for his manager. The manager came, immediately trying to use his bulk to cower me. It didn't even enter into my reality. I explained to him what happened and told him he had a physically aggressive bouncer putting his hands on females. He said, "But they were in the boys bathroom." I looked at him calmly and said, "That's not the point." He said.. "you're right." and sent the guy walking immediately. Stupidly the bouncer and the two girls were still fighting with each other as he walked off down the street.
Opening: Projecting State Manwhore
I come in with an energy and a look like the cat that swallowed the rat. I come in, completely drawing all attention to myself, just a natural, relaxed way of saying ":D LOOK AT ME :D". Holding "in my reality" mannerisms, I look like I'm just used to having all the attention- that everything I do is going to be fun, and that I'm about to throw open a can of whup-ass. I smile using my whole face- a relaxed energy to my stance, and I'm not really directing my attention to them that much- I can even be looking right at them and not "value-taking" in any way- meaning, needing any kind of response from themthis includes even their eye contact. This is subtle guys.. you guys can very subtly signal to the girls that you're reaction-seeking, simply by "looking" for their eye contact. So don't do it. My body language is projected to the world, it's very exaggerated relaxed.. it communicates that I'm open to anything that happens from any different direction. It's not solely directed at them- it's basically saying that yes, they have value to me- but I'm so gigantic that my bl takes everybody around into account. But I don't have to say anything. At least initially. I can just stand there for a bit, letting them soak me in.. it builds tension and like I said shows that I'm used to attention. This is just an enjoyable guy to have around. Then I will make some kind of funny social commentary, or come in with something funny- spoken with fun intensity- projecting the good response- pretty much the same way I described above. It won't be expecting something in return from them at first- it wont require an answer, and again I won't even require eye contact from them. I'll just say it and not care about their responses. With this you can walk in and say things like.. "I like BOOBIES!" and get a huge fun reaction from the ladies. It is such a strong, individual-like, opening.. that all social pretense is shed. There are no preconceived ideas about what you just said. It is obvious, that not only have you given yourself permission to act and say as you like.. but that you ARE that guy. I think this is a great way of opening on the dance floor also. I come in completely nonreaction-seeking and open with a funny dance move and they are instantly attracted to me and my body movements. I reopen exactly the same way. Remember, as Tyler says, "Assume nothing!" Just because you had a great interaction or response from them earlier, in no way means they owe you another good response just for "you being you". So don't stand there expecting them to search out the "real you" all of a sudden. They don't want to, don't need to, don't care to. Always be giving value.
Red Leader's 1000th posting Red Leader
So, 1000 posts is a fair bit. I signed up on here a few days after it was opened thinking, "ooo, good time to ask the guys some good questions while not many members are on the board." and I couldn't think of any at all. But regardless, the content this forum and its users are spitting out is just great. There is nothing really like this anywhere on the net. Anyway, I'm not into reminiscing about the past. Back to the present. What this post will consist of is a basic run down of concepts and ways I go about everything to do with being myself, opening my self and being present with everyone I meet. Time past present future Anything that doesn't 'work' in pick up or socialising, is related to time. Time is part of the ego. Detaching yourself from time is presence. The ego wants things that are not in the moment. Living in the past or future can leave us feeling unfulfilled or in a state of fear. Wouldn't this make you late for things like work and appointments? No, it will actually make you more conscious of practical factors associated with time. Thinking or fantasizing about what will happen in the future takes you out of the moment. You become an image in your head of something you want to be, something that is in the future and you shut yourself out to the moment. You can be in set HOPING to not screw things up as she seems like girlfriend material... then boom, you're either too careful and she's bored, or you're trying to hard to be funny and she gets turned off. Thinking in the past can create havoc such as things like, "she'd never want someone who has never had sex." etc... etc...
These are all time based objections that hold one back. This is also the reason as to why natural guys who sleep around secret society style will never reveal anything... they're addicted to the present and feel unnatural delving into the past or future... Fear of Death Ultimately, the cause of any type of fear is fear of death. The ego fears death. It wants to survive. Even getting rejected stems from being societies outcast and eventually dying somehow from societies disapproval. Egoless state knows nothing of death. It does not exist. For ALL we EVER have is the present. The only thing we actually HAVE in our lives ... is the moment at hand. Our consciuos state, that can only live in the now, is not aware of death. It is timeless. Once we are present and not using the mind to try and gain something from the past or future, our MINDS become more sharp. They become sharp because you dis-identify with them. You no longer ARE them, they are not yours. We do not own our minds or our bodies. They are mearly pieces of particles made up of energy combined together to create a gateway for our souls/spirits to enter the world. And since the only 'thing' we do HAVE is the present, we have more control over our minds becoming sharper and our bodies more calibrated to our surroundings eg. people, hazards, sexual signals... remembering names... and lots more. An interesting way to look at it is that we are not even alive... IT is to BECOME alive that we all strive for... Why would we be afraid of death if we are yet to be born?
Be Dumb Be Pulled Some people need a gateway to enter the now. An analogy to enter the present is to act dumb. It turns off the logical self-talking side of the brain and you start to slow down. You eventually feel a sense of calm and relaxation. You open up to everything you like... things COME to you. You go for things without questioning yourself. Your mind slows down enough for you to catch up. The speed of your speech matches the pace of the mind. Being dumb stops you from questioning yourself... whether or not you should do that... And because you don't question yourself, you forget to feel anxiety. A lot of people will say, 'think before you act.' This is going a level above, 'be conscious before you act.' Now this may confuse some people how, being dumb is the same as being conscious. The thing is, thinking internally closes off the outside world You can have your eyes open, your ears working, you may even be flapping your trap. But you can be completely unconscious to your environment and the present moment when you're stuck inside your head with loops of thought about the past and future. Being dumb and slow, matches the pace of the interaction. You start to feel like you're talking to people underwater. Every move you make is enjoyable. You start to push pull naturally because moving back and forwards is so much fun. You care less about everything and the conversation almost always turns sexual.
Settle yourself A lot of people find that BEFORE they get into this state, BEFORE they're 'ready' to enter the now, they need to settle themselves somehow. You might be already pretty chill, but you just don't FEEL like talking to anyone. You can be up in the club having a good time, but just don't FEEL like talking to people. That's cool. All you need to do is settle yourself. Accept that that's the way you feel right now. All you have to do is sit back relax and DRINK up the energy surrounding you. Eventually you won't be able to contain yourself and you will summon the energy out of nothing, spilling yourself over with self-entertainment.
Labels and being the judge You must judge the world before you can react to it So to be nonreactive to the things you want to remain nonreactive to.... be nonjudgmental towards them.... What is the reason to judge and label something? Perhaps to remember that this or that person is rich/famous/hot/knows people... What if we were all to assume everyone was EXTREMELY rich in value to the same amount. What if we took that and realised that no one is aware of their own potential. Would this not cause us to see through it all and rise them up in the world. Pull them out of the depths of their mind and give them a moment self esteem. This is giving value deluxe.
Be Social Subject: The Gamer Goes out to bars and clubs nearly everynight running 'game' on people trying to pick up girls.
Generally has his eyes set on attractive women only and doesn't care to find connections with anyone else. Fantasizes about getting with the hot turbos. Subject: The social guy Goes out to bars and clubs when things are on and has fun making friends, is open to sex, that will most likely happen but is indifferent... Makes friends with everyone regardless, is nonjudgmental with women and doesn't let peoples looks affect him
Get in her personal space Pretty much 'ODD' on Tim's blog. Basically just going up and talking centimetres from her face. I've opened like this. Weird huh? Completely negates the 'leaning back' rule. The thing is I'm very open if I do this... I'm 100% front on, direct, not hiding anything This creates MASSIVE sexual tension. Though this is not a technique. IT's just having fun with her. In this space you laser eye the fuck out of her. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQb4ieoWp9w - kind of like this, but you can be WAY more forward and earlier on if you want... Intrigue What I've found lately, is that by tilting my head on it's side and staring at the girl with a smirk on my face, it makes her more intriguing to ME. She will notice this big time. This is a big one and girls will come talk to me from ages away to see why I'm so intrigued wiht her... I'll do it VERY over the top as well.... sometimes scracthing my chin or raising an eyebrow. Even on the dancefloor. I eye them down and tilt my head. Tilting my head really helps
ME feel more warranted when I approach. It also makes me feel more comfortable in general. It's like when you make a weird noise around a new born puppy it will tilt it's head like, "what did you just say?" Except sometimes with me, I have a dirty sexual look on my face like I want to ravish her ... but it's considered ok because is tilted and she's intriguing me.
Presence This is a big one for remembering names. Before I would SUCK at remembering peoples names seconds after they just told me. I'd be too worried about what's happening next in the interaction. But I find once I'm super ALERT to the moment, it's like my little radar antennas on top of my head are able to receive things MUCH more clearly and details like names get burned into my memory. This helps a LOT with networking in general. If you want to get places in life, start being super ALERT and conscious (no thoughts) when people tell you their names. Being super present with people makes them feel special. Because in turn... they KNOW you're looking deeper than the surface. Seeing the REAL THEM inside. People will appreciate and remember people who are conscious around them.
Flippant Fun So, I can at TIMES be somewhat flippant. I used to go a bit far and come off as gay, but that's ok to go to that area as long as you don't get stuckt here. Being flippant is like natural push and pull. You are in and out, having fun, waving your arms around the place. You become DYNAMIC. Your voice becomes dynamic, more interesting and you feel way more comfortable.
Though this may not be for everyone, it helps me get in state and be REAL about what I'm feeling and trying to express.
A TRUE value giver is a giver of love - real love As I was saying before, true value giving is an expression of love.
GOALS Where do Goals come into effect when all we have is the moment? Goals are awesome. However, they are always SECONDARY to the moment. Know what you want, chalk it down as a goal. solidify it. know it indefinitely. then don't think about it. Just be open to it happening. You'll realise after a while, it's kind of already there in a sense. it comes to you. Sex for example becomes simple because there is no thought towards it. You don't think about it, you're open to it so solidly that it just comes to you The more open you are, the more abundance you'll experience.
Making Connections Halffull
Making Connections: This post is all about making connections. It's about how to take your interactions to the next level. How to have people feel like you understand them. Have them be able to understand you. How to interact in such a way that there is no mistrust or competition, only synergy and vibe. In short, this post talks about how to Connect. Why Connect You do not need to do this stuff to get laid. I repeat: YOU DO NOT NEED TO DO THIS STUFF TO GET LAID. You can get laid just by projecting personality, sexual communication, and leading. In fact, these are the base traits you'll need to have in order to have the Strength of Character needed to truly connect with another human being. You don't need to connect with people or synergize with them or raise their value. So why connect? What's in it for you? Connection improves game: In game aspects, there are two concrete things that it can help with. The first is DRASTICALLY reducing flake rate. If you have a solid connection with a girl, she is 98% likely not going to flake. If you have communicated the views taught in this thread about LBFWB (let's be friends with benefits) and other sexual frames expressed in this post, that chance of flake is going to go down to pretty nothing. Other advantage to game is postgame... that stuff that comes after endgame. It's going to allow you to convert all those One-night-stands into First-night-stands, with continuing relationships with the girls you have sex with. Connection improves life: In addition to improving your game, connection allows for much more. The first thing it does is that by showing her that she is safe from judgment around you, it allows you to RAISE HER VALUE TO YOUR LEVEL. This means that you can always be sure that every girl that hangs out with you is as cool as you are. Additionally, connection allows for synergy. Synergy is one of the most productive types of communication there is, with constant positive energy and productivity. On an even deeper level, connection gives you a reason to be hooking up with these girls. You don't fall into the trap of needing to bed ever more girls for the validation of it. You are actually having genuine connections between human beings. Prerequisites: This post is all about making connections, and connecting with people on a deeper level. However, before we can get to that stuff, there's a few basic prerequisites that have to be met. If you have not met these basic prerequisites, it is advised that you work on them first until you have a decent proficiency in them. Non-Defensiveness: Defensiveness kills connection. Period. The biggest thing you can do if you want to start connecting with people is to stop getting defensive. There are a few different ways to think about and deal with defensiveness Take whichever one makes most sense to you and run with it. Resources are given for further explanation. Defensiveness as a result of reactiveness: Defensiveness is merely a result of not knowing what you want. The result is that you end up reacting to what the world throws at you by protecting yourself, instead of proactively coming up with a solution. The solution to this problem is to have a clear set of values and principles, and to act always based on those principles, regardless of circumstances. More on this can be found in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, By Stephen Covey. Especially take a look at habit 2, Begin with the end in Mind. Defensiveness as a learned behavior: This view holds that defensiveness and defense mechanisms were learned as a child. Children did not have the status, power, experience, or maturity to handle stressful situations in a healthy way. Thus, they have to come
up with defense mechanisms to cope with these stressful situations. For instance, a child may not have liked their parents critising them, so they learned to cope with it by using humor. The defensive humor then becomes ingrained in them as adults, even when it is no longer a useful way to deal with criticism. The solution is to realize what your own specific defense mechanisms are, and come up with specific action plans to deal with them. As soon as you see a sign that they have started, follow the action plan. More on this can be found in the book Radical Collaboration by James Tamm and Ronald Luyet. Defensiveness as a construct of the ego: The power of now holds that defensiveness is a result of a false sense of self that our mind uses to enslave us. As a result when this false sense of self is threatened by contrary evidence (such as criticsm), the ego feels a need to defend it self from destruction. It does this by lashing back, becoming confused, selective intepreting of stimuli, and other methods. The solution is to immerse yourself in the present moment, and not worry about the past or future, which the ego relies on to build its image. More on this can be found in the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Enlightened Views on Sex: This is another prerequisite if you want to use these ideas for pickup. You have to realize that it is okay for girls to have sex. It is not a bad thing, it is a natural thing. Any sort of judgement with calling girls “sluts” or thinking of “sex” as some high and mighty taboo subject that is a necessary evil will get you nowhere. One great starting point for this is to read TD's article “The Secret Society” which can be found here: http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=27 . Listening: First step to making a connection with somebody is to listen to them. Listening is often talked about (ironic in itself) but rarely practiced. Even more rarely is it done right. While listening, you should be trying to understand her, allowing her to express herself, verifying you understand, affirming her emotions, and accepting her. You should NOT be judging her, probing for more information, preparing your response, or “reframing” her ideas. How to listen: [ ]Stop talking Pretty self explanatory here, but pretty hard especially for PUA's. Stop with the forcefully projecting your personality, stop with the off the wall comments and DHV stories, stop bantering and ballbusting... all this stuff will come later. Right now, just stand there, and allow her the room to express herself. You're not waiting or putting social pressure on her to do this, you're just letting her know that she can do so without fear of social consequences or judgment. She'll take up the offer. [ ]Empathize and accept You're trying to understand where she's coming from. Realize that every viewpoint is valid, especially to the individual who holds it. Understanding a viewpoint you don't agree with is a great opportunity for yourself, to grow and see things in a new light. If you're passing judgment, you're still projecting your on views onto their viewpoint. You should be allowing them to think and feel, trying to allow yourself to feel and think with them. [ ]Affirm and Clarify Even with your best efforts, you can often misinterpret their thoughts or feelings. You need to make sure you're still on the same page by restating their feelings. This also affirms them by showing that you really do understand. Note that you're not just restating the content of the words. You're restating the content, the emotions, and sometimes even the deeper emotions or ideas. You need not agree with her when you are doing this. If she says “OMG I am having the worst night ever” you don't need to say “yea tonight sucks”, however, you should affirm and clarify: “Sounds like your night's been really hectic.” (Affirming both the content and emotion of the sentence.). If you actually misunderstood the person will correct you, allowing you to understand further. If you did understand, they will acknowledge this.
[ ]Act. At some point in the convo as you continue to listen and clarify she'll signal to you she wants something. She might signal she wants advice by getting more logical and asking you what you think she should do. Sometimes she'll want a hug, or a kiss. Sometimes she'll want you to stop her from talking, push her onto the bed, and have your way with her. Point is that if you're truly listening you'll pick up on these things. At this point she no longer wants you to affirm or clarify... she feels understood. She wants you to act. Seek first to Understand, then to be Understood In Stephen Covey's book, this is the fourth habit. The idea is that before people are ready to understand you, they must first felt that they themselves have been understood. This is another way to explain listening. He also goes over the skill of Empathic listening, which is mentioned above. Listening as a Result of Being in the Moment In Eckhart Tolle's book the Power of Now, he talks about the fact that when you are communicating in the moment, you give the other party the greatest gift of all, the gift of listening without judgement. In this viewpoint, listening comes as a natural result of being in the moment, as you are not letting your own ego cloud your perception of the other person. It is important when you are doing this to still clarify and accept, as human beings are fallible and will misunderstand eachother EVEN when no bias is present. Hold the Space Two posts on RSDnation caught my attention that explain the first two steps of listening VERY well. They both used the metaphor of basically allowing the girl SPACE to express herself. If you think about it, a human being is constantly feeling pressure from all sides to conform to this or conform to that. Your job is to allow her a SPACE that is free from all these pressures. Like when she's with you she's in a little protective bubble free of judgment. The two posts that caught my attention were the post by Sanik called Hold the Space, and the post by Hal Moore called Give Her Space In Your Frame. (Posts by Sanik http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=14127 and Hal Moore http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=15005 ) Listening as a Way to get rid of Defensiveness This describes listening as a kind of a way to get rid of defensiveness in another person. The idea is that listening builds trust, and trusts creates willingness to listen. More on this view can be found in the book Radical Collaboration. Listening = Pacing and Leading Listening can also be explained as pacing and leading. Pacing and leading is a method from NLP which says that you must first agree with a persons point of view, (pacing), then you can change that point of view (leading). The traditional model of pacing and leading was spend three times as long on pacing as you do on leading. So the idea would be pace, pace ,pace, lead. Pace, pace, pace, lead. Pacing and leading is actually meant to mimic the behaviors of listening, without actually trying to understand. NLP was based on modeling effective communicators and figuring out how they do what they do. More on Pacing and leaders can be find in the book Frogs into Princes by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. The many levels of listening: As you get better at listening, you're going to find yourself listening on deeper and deeper levels. At first you may just find yourself listening to the content of her words. Then you start listening for emotions. Then you may start listening for intent. At this point my communication focus almost exclusively on intent. Empathizing and Accepting is no longer that much of an issue... it's a default state. Affirming and clarifying is not yet automatic tho, so I still have to think about it. Examples:
Lights Off: For instance, a girl says “I want the lights off”, I hear the intent of “I'm insecure about my body, I don't want you to judge me on it.” I affirm and clarify this intent: “You're worried about what I'm going to think.”. She responds “Yea, I'd rather use my imagination.” I hear the intent: “I want you to protect me and make me feel secure.” I act: “First off, I don't judge people... ever. Secondly, as for as your body... “I'll be the judge of who's sexy and who's not here.”... turn on lights, remove clothes... she's always beautiful and I let her know this. Please Don't Not Forget to Not Read This: Open relationship chick was sitting on my bad trying to do homework. She can't concentrate. All of the sudden she spontaneously starts journaling about her feelings and shit. When I try to look, she pushes me back and says “I don't want you to see.” I hear the intent: “I want you to read this.” I affirm and clarify: “You mean you DO want me to read it, but you don't want to say it.” She says “No” as she gets up to go somewhere else, leaving the computer. I hear the same intent: “I want you to read this.” Again, I'm still not 100% sure I've understood, so I affirm and clarify: “I'm gonna read it now, what parts can I not read?” She responds “No Don't! I dunno which parts are okay.” I finally understand the actual intent, I clarify. “Is there something specific you want to discuss?” She responds : “Yes.”. I act: “Okay... let's talk.” A word on assuming higher value Assuming higher value is retarded. First of all, the words “assume” and “high value” should never bee in the same sentence together. For a start, assuming is an INHERENTLY low value behavior. Tyler's third rule: “assume absolutely nothing.” Secondly, if any of you guys out there are still trying to LOWER a girls value... consider this. This is another LOW VALUE behavior. Why would a high value dude want to get LESS value from the interaction. If anything, I'm going to EXPECT her to match my value... only then can we have a good interaction. Notice the difference. Expectations are reinforcing standards. Assumptions are shoving blame off yourself by putting the burden on somebody else. More on this later. Knowing when to project Hesitant to put this section in, because you can look at it and immediately go, OH, so you actually DON'T have to listen when you don't feel like it. That's not what I'm saying at all. Oftentimes the most fruitful times to listen are times when you want to shut the person up immediately. It usually means their views are very different from yours. Anyways, now that I have that little disclaimer: How to know when Enough is Enough There are some times when you won't get the signal to act. Sometimes the person will get stuck in a thought loop, and won't want their mind to be changed. Other times they may be so in state that they can continue to talk for hours, or they may get so excited that someone is finally listening to them that they try to get every single thing off their chest that has ever bothered them. In any case, you have balance what they want with what you want. Note that you should always understand them FIRST before you feel like it's okay to project over them. But if a girl is super in state and just rattling off topic after topic, which you already feel like you get, and all you want to do is make out with her... then go for it. It's all about personal standards. “Okay, I've understood you... my turn”. High Value is a two way Street Again, you are expecting her to have high value behavior. Accordingly, you've been treating her with high value behavior. You haven't been judging her, or telling her what to do. You've been listening, staying drama free, and not worrying about society. You are expecting her to have these high value behaviors as well. If you're giving her the space to be high value, and she continues to act in a low value you, you need to project over that. It is not okay. If she's doing messed up things Dealing with Drama One of my other personal standards is that I don't do drama. Whenever I sense that a girl is trying to drag me
into it, I immediately cut her off and make it clear. For instance, a girl has called me two or three times talking about wanting to kill herself. I never listen to that thread... that would be empowering the drama. Instead I immediately cut her off and let her know that drama is something I don't do. I will continue to listen to her, but if she brings up suicide again, I won't acknowledge it. Dealing with Bitching Another common one for me is bitching sessions. A girl will start rattling off all the things that are going wrong with her. She gets stuck in the negative thought loop, and instead of asking for advice like usual will just keep going and going and getting herself more worked up. She says something, I affirm, she says, “Yea, exactly, and you know what's even worse...”. The cycle continues. When this happens, I see that she's not going to signal me to act, I'm going to have to do it myself. I will typically cut her off mid-bitch. “Okay, now I talk, and you listen.”. “okay... but one more thing...”. She's so caught up in the thought loop she goes on another rant. Give her a little bit of time to vent, ask “anything else?,” then finally I go on a little rant of my own, telling her exactly what she needs to do to get herself out of the situation. Synergy Synergy is what happens after everyone feels understood. It is the essence of teamwork rather than conflict. In community terms, it's the result of MUTUAL unreactiveness. There are no negative emotional reactions to disagreements, or emotional attachments to viewpoints. Both viewpoints are respected, and any logical disagreements are still accompanied by positive emotions. This completely negates the concept of frame control. In this case, there is not one person controlling the frame, but rather there is a shared frame, Which allows for the expansion of viewpoints, creating something neither person could have created by themselves. Value the Differences The essence of synergy , as Stephen Covey puts it, is to value the differences. The great thing about synergy is that there is no negativity attached to differences. There is actually positivity attached to it. The reason that differences are so important in synergy is that really anybody can have a synergistic experience People Completely in the moment Another way to think about synergy in a more Power of Now way is to think of at is two (or more) people interacting with each other completely in the moment. The idea is that when two people can interact with eachother with no ego involved, sharing perspectives but not becoming attached to them, and allowing the positive energy to flow throughout the interaction, you can actually take the interaction to a whole new level. Two people in the moment will actually build off of and add to each other's energy. Vibing as Synergy Another way to achieve synergy is through vibing. This form of synergy is actually achieved by ignoring or sidestepping differences rather than valuing them. You guys have all felt that vibe where you're just chillin with your friends and someone says something funny, then someone builds on that, and you guys can just go back and forth cracking each other up. Building on the vibe. In his article on the subject (to my knowledge the only article on the subject), Tyler talks about a number of things necessary to create a synergistic vibe. Knowing when it's someones chance to hold court, no cutting off or frame battles. Rhetorical sequencing (this is just another form of listening), and many other things. He mentions this scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORmk-gb_nx8 in goodfellas. Which is good (if fucked up) example of group synergy. Tyler's original article can be found here: http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=59. Flirting as Synergy This is one a lot of you guys should be familiar with. You know the situation. You say a cheeky line to a girl, with that special voice tone, and she immediately perks up. Without hesitation she comes back with a retort, building on your original comment. You take what she gives you and without thinking immediately come back with a witty comment of your own. At this point both of you are grinning like idiots for no apparent reason. This is synergy in the form of flirting. There is an excellent example in this post about Meta-Communication by SteveUk http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=15436, Meta-Communication is another name for
synergy. Sex as Synergy According to Stephen Covey, sex is one of the most synergistic experiences there is. After all, in order to have sex, you have to VALUE THE DIFFERENCES :). I hesitated writing about this, because until a few weeks ago I had just been having a lot of awkward sex. However, with practice, my sex has begun to get more and more synergistic. Again, the common theme here is no judgement, no thought, and taking their point of view without question and adding your own spin on it. An excellent example is THIS post by Android http://www.rsdnation.com/showpost.php?p=109691&postcount=9 , Notice his description of the acts. He would say something, she would take it and add her own twist, he would take that and add to it... etc. This is the essence of synergy. For more on synergistic sex, look up information about Tantra and Tantric Sex. Synergy in Groups: Becoming the Social Context Synergy in groups requires a little bit more than just listening. Stephen Covey likes to call the action necessary to create synergy in groups an “act of courage.” The basic idea to create synergy in groups is that you need to be of such a strong frame that everybody feels okay being open because YOU'RE okay being open. While Covey refers to it as an act of courage, as PUA's I feel we should be that courageous guy all the time. You need to be that strong leading presence that says it's OKAY to be a little loose, and maybe even prod people in that direction. It's not just okay... it's EXPECTED. A great example of this is in my FR Here :http://www.rsdnation.com/showthread.php?t=14107 in which I start a game of strip spin the bottle. For more on being the social context, check out any FR's from Manwhore. The “Friend zone” Why it's bullshit I know what you guys are thinking: But Halffull, if I do all this “connection” and “listening” stuff, won't I end up in the friendzone? The answer is yes. Or no. Or Maybe. The truth is that the friend zone as it is commonly understood by the community is a myth. My proof? I regularly have sex with my female friends. The fact of the matter is that as long as there's no animosity, and a few basic conditions are met, most girls are EXTREMELY receptive to escalation. Very little attraction is needed. As long as she's sure that: [ ]A. She's not gonna get a reputation as a slut. [ ]B. You're not gonna be a needy chode. and [ ]C.There's a clear understanding of what's going to happen afterwards. You should be good to go. The irony is that a guy having these beliefs is actually attractive in itself. Bottom line is: sex feels good, it enhances connection, and it's healthy for you. Why would she say no? Sex = Friendship We already touched on the basics of being sexually enlightened. I'm just gonna go over a few beliefs of mine that I believe have been especially helpful in this area. Again, you have to realize that sex is not a big deal, and that it's okay for girls to have lot's of sex, before you can truly understand these mindsets. [ ]Sex is an assumed part of friendship... in fact it's one of the BEST parts. [ ]Sex is a way to create a bigger connection. [ ]If we are to actually do the friends with benefits thing, I CANNOT be the only guy she's hooking up with. Just as she won't be the only girl I'm hooking up with.
[ ]I'm no threat to boyfriends... because after all we're just friends. [ ][INDENT][/INDENT]you have to decide for yourself on this one. For me, if she's in a committed relationship I tell her she shouldn't be doing it. But if she goes for it, I realize it's her decision. I know that usually I am more help than harm to relationships... cause I give kick ass advice. (a result of listening). [ ]I DO NOT kiss and tell. EVER. To do so would be unfair to the girls who live in our fucked up society. [ ][INDENT][/INDENT]Sometimes she does tho... I'm quite a catch. That's her choice. [ ]Relationships should come as a result of being exclusive with another person... not vice versa. Think that you can never talk with chicks about this shit? Think again. When I start talking to a girl about this stuff, initially she's like “Is this guy for real?”... then she's like “OMG this is AMAZING!” following which she says something along the lines of “TAKE ME NOW HALFFULL!”. Examples: Here are some AIM conversations showing examples of how this frame works. Note that I have this same conversation on the phone, in person, over text, etc. And it's not always this direct... the main idea is to adopt these beliefs, and not be afraid to share them. They will then come out naturally in the interaction. These are merely extreme examples where the subject came up and I basically just laid out the whole mindset. I hook up with all my friends: Girl (10:37:09 PM): are u guys like exclusive or what? Halffull (10:37:14 PM):no. Halffull (10:37:21 PM)pen sort of thing. Girl (10:37:30 PM)h so are you like hookin up with other chicks? Halffull (10:37:33 PM): yes. Girl (10:37:41 PM)h Halffull (10:37:50 PM):haha Halffull (10:37:52 PM):good answer :-) Girl (10:37:58 PM):I try Girl (10:39:53 PM):alot of them? Halffull (10:40:02 PM): I dunno Halffull (10:40:07 PM): I sorta just hook up with my friends. Halffull (10:40:12 PM): it's jsut like... a thing Girl (10:40:32 PM):hm.... do u keep them as friends after? Halffull (10:40:32 PM): yes. Girl (10:40:45 PM):hm Halffull (10:40:45 PM):that's part of being friends. Girl (10:40:56 PM):is it? Halffull (10:40:59 PM):with me it is. Girl (10:41:10 PM):cool Girl (10:41:14 PM):so we arent friends? Halffull (10:41:18 PM): we haven't hung out alone. Girl (10:41:36 PM):whats that supposed to mean? Halffull (10:41:56 PM): lol I'm not gonna like hook up with someone in a room full of people. Halffull (10:42:01 PM): common sense here michelle :-) I don't use people: Girl (1:20:13 AM): but wat i am saying is i am not to be used Girl (1:20:31 AM): doesnt sit with me Girl (1:21:04 AM): feel like a hooker - if a guy already has one girl and is in some sort of relationship then he
doesnt need me Halffull (1:21:25 AM): first of all. Halffull (1:21:28 AM): I don't use people. Halffull (1:21:32 AM): second of all Halffull (1:21:49 AM): I don't believe in the whole "I need you" thing Halffull (1:21:59 AM): a relationship should be used to supplement an already complete life Girl (1:22:05 AM): haha Girl (1:22:12 AM): thats good- havent heard that one yet Girl (1:22:19 AM): i like it actually Halffull (1:22:21 AM): it shouldn't be like trying to complete someone... you can't OVERCOMPLETE something. Halffull (1:22:40 AM): third of all. Girl (1:22:42 AM): so u dont believe in marriage Halffull (1:22:45 AM): I'm not using a line on you. Halffull (1:22:52 AM): so I don't appreciate the insinuation. Girl (1:23:02 AM): no i mean i like the idea of what u said Halffull (1:23:05 AM): gotcha Girl (1:23:15 AM): i havent heard it before Girl (1:23:15 AM): and i like it Girl (1:23:26 AM): dont get all "bitchy" Girl (1:23:39 AM): ;-) Halffull (1:23:42 AM): ahaha good now we're even :-) Girl (1:23:56 AM): but heres the question - do u believe in marriage Halffull (1:23:59 AM):hmmm Halffull (1:24:07 AM):I don't believe in marriage as it's currently set up Halffull (1:24:12 AM):with prenups and all that Halffull (1:24:28 AM):but other than that I see nothing wrong with it Halffull (1:24:33 AM)rovided it's what both people wnat Girl (1:24:39 AM): but do u believe in being with someone like that? Halffull (1:25:15 AM):yes. Provided that both people are truly not interested in other people Halffull (1:25:27 AM):marriage should come as a result of being exclusive, living together, etc. Girl (1:25:28 AM): haha Halffull (1:25:30 AM):not vice versa Halffull (1:25:40 AM):brb Girl (1:25:43 AM): well then goodnight mr intersting Halffull (1:25:50 AM): gnite. Girl (1:25:50 AM): i might harrass u tomorrow Girl (1:25:58 AM): so be up for a pyhsical confrontation Girl (1:26:03 AM): unless u answer me now Girl (1:26:06 AM): and avoid it Girl (1:26:31 AM): r u willing to tell me now and avoid me coming over there? Girl (1:26:34 AM): tomorrow that is Girl (1:29:29 AM): ?? The “no sex zone” Anyway's, now that I've debunked the whole “friend zone” thing, I'm gonna throw you a curveball. Sure, there's no such thing as a friend zone. But there is something you should watch out for. This is what I like to call the “no sex zone.” Avoiding the no sex zone is simple. It goes back to listening. I already talked about it up in the listening section. She's going to be telling you that she want's you to escalate. If you are listening to her, you'll hear her telling you that... and you'll escalate. Simple. However, it's when you DON'T listen to her that you into problems. If you continue to ignore her when she sends these signals, you WILL be put into the no sex zone. I believe TD calls this “taking windows of opportunity.” Jack Diesel goes over all aspects of this in his excellent post: “The Deeper Side of Qualifying.”
Stuff i learned going out 183 days in a row Gravity
Today is the first day in 6 months that i did not leave my house to go game some girls. Just to give you guys a look into me: i spent today juggling work, studying, and texting some potential FBs. When i first walked into this challenge, i was a virgin, i thought that a good day constituted of a girl giving me her # and approaching a lot. I've walked the path that most would've crashed, every single day i went out and pushed myself. i used to think of approaching as this HUGE success, now its second nature to me. I had a lot of bad days, days where people wanted to fight me, nights where i saw a man get cheated on by the love of his life, days where EVERY FUCKING GIRL didn't like me, or was creeped out by me. I had a lot of good days as well. I've pulled and fucked 8 girls since mid-may, 5 were on the same day i met them. The day i lost my virginity i got rejected 30 times in a row before pulling the chick. I attended hotseat and did everything in my power to get better at this. and better i became, all before the age of 19. I lost a lot of friends, and made a few new ones. I met A LOT of girls, something like 2000. I hate bragging, it strokes my ego and fucks me up, but im VERY FUCKING PROUD of what i've done. As i look back onto this now i realize that i have a long way to go still, but im sure as hell happy that this is where the journey is leading me. I wanted to list all the lessons I've learned, for myself and for all of you, so that you may all get motivated to go out and fucking push it, or if you are already maybe a lesson i've learned can help you, either way here are the lessons that made me who i am: Have a BONER: simple yet utterly effective. Magical shit happens when you talk to girls while having a boner. It puts you in a sexual mood, even better if she knows you have one, it helps you try to see things from the end game perspective (aka the pull), and you can use it as a reason to blame her for YOUR actions: "hey this wouldn't have happened if you didnt give me a BONER, its all your fault". How to get le BONER? simple, as your in set, say overtly sexual shit, anything from putting a baby in her to taking her into a bathroom. do it even if its miscalibrated and gets you blown out out of a few sets, fucking do it to pump your sexual state. Once you have it then ACT IN THE WAY IT WANTS. would your boner like to be up close to her? move her closer in. would it like to make out with her? whip it out and let her know. put it in her..... you get the picture. HAVING A BONER helps to clear your intent, why would you have one if you weren't sexually aroused? Re-open/its never over: i never knew how fucking HUGE this was, till i started implementing it. Rejection is not rejection boys. Rejection is a feeling in the moment that girls have, it is by and large not a reflection on you (assuming you've got your shit together game-wise), it is just a consequence of the circumstance. The thing that made me realize this was when i opened a blonde STUNNER at a popular bar district and she blew me out. THREE WEEKS LATER i reapproached her while i was doing a bootcamp for my buddy, she remembered me, i framed it as if it was fate, got her facebook (she saved business in my phone as "sex trade"), added her, regamed her, got the meet up, pulled and fucked her a little while later. Did the fact that she rejected me matter one bit? FUCK NO. The more i started reopening sets (and the less time i took in between reopening) the more i found that rejection is in many ways a shit test, and all shit tests can be passed. IOW: rejection means nothing. Everything is temporary: every single set, every girl, every number, every pull, every FB is not forever. No matter how embarassing or how bad, no matter how amazing and epic, nothing in this game EVER lasts. That is a truth that everyone around me has found. Just because your game is FUCKING AMAZING one day doesnt mean that the next you'll be the same. Even if the lasts 20 sets hooked it doesnt mean the next one will. Just because you're feeling good doesn't mean you will pull, and vice versa. This is a really fucked up concept because it takes a lot of the expectations you had for the day/night and then just completely fucks it up. This is why its important not to be emotionally dependent on the outcome. Your results give you a prediction as to what is to come next, based on very recent reference experiences. If it doesn't happen the model of reality your recent experiences just built
for you implodes and you are left standing around like wtf just happened? You'll ask me: "wait so if im feeling like shit and getting blown out all day, as well as choding on a lot of sets, I COULD STILL PULL?!" and i would answer: "yup". Never get too attached to a girl, or a set of standards or anything for that matter as it all tends to fade away. (this is the thought process behind my SAME DAY ONLY policy). Step hard: THIS ONE IS FUCKING HUGEEEEEE! Julien told us at hotseat that your opener will not be the difference between you getting (or not getting) laid. And i agree with that 100%. However i do think that if you walk up to a woman, full balls deep, say what you want EXACTLY the way you want it, push your way into her reality, and (this is big) give her the oppurtunity to reject you; this will EXPONENTIALLY DECREASE THE TIME BETWEEN OPEN TO CLOSE. For example: if i go in with "hey your cute" im most likely stifled and going direct to get myself into that congruence headspace. When i say step hard i mean GRAB HER ATTENTION, DEMAND THAT SHE SPEAK TO YOU. I feel more congruent being direct, so i'll say something like "YOU ARE FUCKING GORGEOUS WHO ARE YOU!" , and bang im in. You can say anything, as long as it has the intent behind it, as long as it is completely unstifled and unrestrained, and as long as circumstances don't get in your way, the girl's pussy will get SOAKED right away. The reason this happens is because no matter WHERE you are the girl is not having a lot of fun (unless she's SMASHED, like legit idgaf drunk). so you roll up and pull her emotions up out of DEEP inside of her, emotions she didnt know she had. Probably a bit harder to do this in a club, but you can always use physicality to compensate for that :). Plough: the best girls will give you a shit ton of resistence. you WANT THEM to give you a lot of resistence. this means they only fuck a few guys that can push through that shit. Russian girls and black hood girls are famous for this. the secret to pushing through this: keep feeling the way you were feeling before she said anything. outer game: don't even acknowledge her resistence. just keep going. Ploughing shows her you're a real G thats worthy of getting fucked, sometimes after they see you've been through enough they DRASTICALLY reduce it (though they never actually stop) just to make it easier. its like a video game where as you progress it gets much easier, every dweeebs dream! Hammer it out till the bitter F****** end: nough said What constitutes a bad night: a bad night isn't a night full of rejections and blowouts, it means your taking ownership of your fate and attempting to meet a lot of women. That's always a good night. No a bad night is when you let shit get to you, maybe it was a girl who rejected you originally, maybe you didnt push something far enough, etcc... and then you start feeling butthurt, you start thinking that you suck shit, you stop approaching your stunners and settle for some mediocre shit. You decide you don't want to push it, you want to stay where you are and just bask in the validation or negativity you are currently entranced with. No matter who you are, no matter how long you've been doing this or how "advanced" you are, you will have these nights. They're good for you, because the very next day you realize what a faggot you acted like then you decide that it wont happen again. "Bad nights" as in blowout city, usually involve one or two girls hooking oddly, if you are feeling like shit then you wont run with it and blow them out. Get comfortable being uncomfortable: sometimes i needed other people to give me a push, others i was the one pushing people. no matter what your doing, find what you're afraid of and do it. most fear (as we know) is stupid because we have no actual reference experience to back it up. My main motto is: "if the mind says no, you say go!" cheesy, but it gets the job done in the most simplistic terms. you afraid of approaching that 6'5 stunner? do it. You afraid of mixed sets? do it. you scared of going for the pull? do it. anything that you are in some way shape or form intimidated by, fucking do it. This will not take the fear away, i myself sometimes still get AA, but the fear is reduced significantly. Thats the most you can ask from all this. I'm sure tyler himself still gets intimidated
as fuck going into mixed sets with really big drunk guys because well they're faggots, but he is still able to consistently do it only because he pushed himself all those times before that the fear is now subsided. You will never not have a boundary where you are not uncomfortable, yet that should bring you some comfort because it means that there is ALWAYS space to improve yourself. as you progress you'll have to become original in pushing your comfort zone, but that is something to be discussed in another post. You want a lot of hot bitches? keep approaching: a lot of people hate cold approach. they think its a waste of time, think its too difficult and too inefficient. you could always do what others do and work your way into where your stunners are, only to be the typical chode around them and not get laid. the point is that cold approach CAN give you an abundance of women unlike any other method. You have to keep forcing yourself to be social over and over and over again, that is the only way to be able to step to your stunners with a regular look on your face and keep it going till the end. You could do what DL did and build a lifestyle around it, a lot of people say he's cheating, but hes still got cold approached REALLY down tight, so he could make a new social circle at any point iif he wanted to. Why? because he mastered the skill of talking to strangers and getting them to love him :). until you can do that, stay on the cold approach mastery path, till you can choose for yourself where you want certain things to be. Be social AND sexual: if you find anyone that knows me, they know i make A SHIT TON OF GAY JOKES. i could confuse anyone into thinking i was gay and it would be TOTALLY believable because im always joking around sexually while socializing. I'm like this at work, at school, while beasting, it doesnt matter. im overtly sexual without coming off as a total creep. This gives me a slight advantage when i want my intent to be clear as its always sort of in this" lets go make babies" type of thinking. This is to be used as a tactic in order for YOU to more easily accept your desires as a man. Society puts us in this weird box where they throw at us TONS of pics of naked girls, sexual stimulation, and then attempts to put feminist values on it, so one side they're turning us on and exciting us, the next they're telling us that these sex symbols you should treat the same way you would treat another man. Theres an obvious conflict which causes us to restrain ourselves for the sake of social acceptence, however if you were to be sexual ALL THE TIME, then not only will you no longer restrain yourself (at least as much) but it'll just be universally accepted as: "that's just the way he is". plus it has the added benefit of making chodes feel uncomfortable
.
You are who you surround yourself with: I would be nothing without my crew. Seriously, all my success isn't even mine, its the success of my crew. Every lay we've gotten, every set we've hooked every way our game has evolved, it is not any one individual's victory. It's OUR victory. I was lucky, i surrounded myself with champions, i realize that not a lot of people have what i have with the TGSMC. There were some days where i would've quit the challenge, where i alone was NOT strong enough, and the second i needed someone to lean on, my crew was there to inform me what a faggot i was being...... then id go out :). Honestly do what you can to surround yourself with the absolute best people people, and i dont just mean results wise. find the people that push themselves, the ones that will keep going no matter what, the ones that will call you out on your bullshit, find the ones that will push you when you're too weak to do it yourself, and finally be one of the people i just described. I love my team, #TRAILBLAZINGGENTLEMANSSOCIETYOFMODELCITIZENRY4LYFE Focus on the context > outcome: you are not God. There is nothing you can do to walk up to a woman and guarentee that she will come home and fuck you. The pickup community has attempted this for the last 20 years, and if you guys have seen the lairs lately they clearly still don't have it down :P. That said, the only thing you can do is set up the context for the girl to do what she already wants to do. You initiate this by approaching. You approached her, she now gets to meet you. The way you continue to set up the context is by leading the interaction towards leaving with her, then to your pull location, then escalate. What you are doing is not a tactic, it is you setting up the context of the situation. So you got her alone in a room, and you're both naked, guess
what that sets up the context for? :) Again doesn't mean it will happen, but the context of the situation is the ONLY thing you have slight control over. So use that to your advantage, at the end of very gaming session ask yourself "did i try to set up the context for the girl to do what she wanted to do?" if the answer is anything but yes, you got work to do. Don't beat yourself up: This can be both a good and bad thing. Me i used to REALLY grill myself whenever id miss an approach or just suck in general during an outing. At first this was very good for me as it meant i was serious about getting over my fears and pushing myself. However after a while it became TOO much of a habit for me, i became obsessed with being overly critical of myself, taking literally no time to think about my successes. Only my failures. This was fucked up as i was REALLY improving a lot (kinda missing that rapid improvement) yet i was looking at myself like man i suck shit blahblahblah. yet i was doing pretty good. the trick is to know when to beat yourself up when being a faggot, but dont be overly critical of what you are doing EVERY step of the way. You can do anything: when i first got into this i won't lie, i was envious of my crew. They would always tell me about doing this crazy ass batshit insane stuff during the night time and i always felt like an outsider saying: "yeahhhh, me and this girl talked for 5 minutes.....". At first it was tough, and over and over again i would feel like i was on the outside of my own crew. However this pushed me to make shit happen during daygame. It is now part of my mindset that everything my boys could do in a nightclub i could do off a daytime approach. And did it i did. I was the first in my crew to get the SDL, the first to get the daygame makeout, the first to pull in the MORNING, all because i had this crazy competative urge to keep up with the monsters that are the members of the TGSMC. What this taught me is that once you eliminate fear, the only thing that limits you is your own imagination. There is NO REASON you could not do something. You have no excuse not to get good, all you need to do is believe and trust in yourself, push yourself for better. Draw state from within: I was always a very positive person. The reason i was like this is because my household is VERY negative. I have fights with my family every day. Whenever i say this people always say i should distance myself from them but i actually think it helps me out. when i leave my house i make the conscious decision to leave all the negativity back there go out and have a blast. This keeps my mood at about a 7 or 8 all the time. Then thats when events take charge and either bring me down or pull me up. I cant control those peak experiences, however i can control how my mood is on a day to day basis. This is why when i go out im usually doing okay. This all comes down to deciding where your happiness is going to be. I use negative events as leverage to feel good, same thing with positive. This is what you should do. MAKE those positive emotions come out of you regardless of what the current circumstances are (unless your not eating, in which case GTFO the internet). Suck her into your reality: this requires you to have a strong frame. If your frame is still weak then don't try this, you're not fully ready yet. If your frame is good but inconsistent then this will push it that extra step. When you roll up you use MASS self amusement to pull her into your world. I like talking about baby making and her attempts to take my long gone virginity. No matter what just keep pumping your own state, regardless of her loving you or swearing at you. After a while she will see that everything she does LITERALLY just pings off of you. Eventually she will be extremely OVERPOWERED by your emotions. After that, she will become SUPER complient. So me im a silly retard, so i will go in with my typical direct shit then ask her some questions very authoritatively because i am actually evaluating her, then if she goes in the direct i like i'll be like "cool when are we getting married and making babies?!" and then ill go off about how we'll exploit our children's youth in exchange for cheap labour :). All this is said with an incredible amount of emotion/retardation, at this point she's polarized so when i say "lets go" shes like "OKAY! :D" The only thing required is that you express how you feel and don't let any reaction of hers affect you in any way shape or form. After that she will literally melt in your hand and that is when the crazy makeouts, the bathroom
pulls, the insta dates happen. This is what will create that tight knit hook that will make getting the girl 49849684584848964896496848484x easier. Approaching = attraction: yup its as simple as that. Your a man that stepped up and went after what he wanted. Even if you creep her out, approach her again when your not being creepy and TADAAAA she loves you. This realization fucked with me when it happened because i figure it was old school game style that i had to go in and be all fancy to get the girl, now all i have to do is step to the girl and its done. Everything i have said here is neither true nor untrue. This is my set of principles that i live/game by, i found that it helps me out, and maybe a while later i will say that this doesnt help me anymore. However i listed them here so that all of you may attempt to go out and try. see if my mindsets work, get back to me. The best thing to do with game is to experiment, fuck up and try again. I really had a lot of fun over the last 6 months, no 18 year old can say they've been on the adventures i've been on. I wouldn't trade them for all the money in the world. I can't begin to describe to all of you what this has done to me, it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it :'). have fun enjoy AND GO OUT!
One easy way to go from intermediate to advanced: Invisible Game BroilerBroom
I’m actually getting freaked out lately. Waking up in cold sweats because I’m beginning to see what’s possible. Sounds dramatic, I know. But it’s true. The cracks in the matrix are shining through, things are falling apart at the seams. Now when I look at girls I see them plain as day – as needy and horny as the chodiest of guys. Just better at hiding it. But they can’t hide it from me. These days I get better results when I just stand there than when I actually do anything. That should give you an idea of where this article is going. I am not super tall, jacked or good looking. I don’t have crazy good game. I’m just starting to see how things work. And I do get results. Because I like to be helpful, here’s a shot at communicating it. Also, to give appropriate credit, many of these ideas are derivative of Alexander’s work, who I look forward to working with when he comes to North America next year. The easiest starting point to picking up a girl is to envision yourself as a hot, single girl. You’re completely all over the place. Overwhelmed by different stimulus. You have your period. Creepy guys breathing down your neck, acting weird around you. You feel the need to front as cold or bitchy because if you acted too nice people would take it the wrong way. This adds even more stress because you don’t want to come off bitchy. People trying to use you. Virtually no one is totally honest with you. Social clock is ticking, expectations, why don’t you have a boyfriend. Wait, why can’t you even get a guy to fuck you properly? Why do they keep trying to fuck you in the ass, do they even take me seriously? Your emotions are all over the place. But you can’t come across emotional, that’s not acceptable for the 21st century woman who must be composed and intellectually impressive. Et cetera. Et fucking cetera. God I’m getting stressed just thinking about it. She’s like you. All she wants to do is to relax and feel good. But she can’t. There’s probably no one in her life who’s strong or reliable or consistent enough to trust, so she can really let her guard down around them. No one! When she’s by herself, she’s a wreck. When she’s around others she’s just trying to hold it together. Obviously this is a generalization, but for a single, young, attractive girl, it’s generally true. So, some dude rolls up to you. He’s totally unfamiliar. You’re kind of stressed and just want him to go away at first. But he persists. A giggle slips out. You can’t help but feel good. Now he’s taking you to the bar for a drink. No harm in that. You should be able to get rid of him after that. But actually he’s kind of funny and doesn’t seem to want much but the enjoyment of your company. So you go for a walk around the bar with him. He pulls you in playfully, firmly, and all of a sudden your pussy is wet. What the fuck. But then he starts chatting to someone else. You want his attention back. You felt better with him around. You don’t want to go back to Stressed-Out-Single-Girl-Land. So you kind of hover around him quietly, hoping like you don’t seem needy, hoping he’ll keep talking to you. He does. He takes your number and gives you a peck on the lips and winks at you, then glides off to harass his next unsuspecting victim. You go home and think, he seemed too good to be true. Must have been liquid courage. Oh, Danny is calling me. He’s not so bad. We already went on a couple dates, it was going okay. You’re skeptical. You go and play Wii for seven hours and forget about the guy from the bar. But the next day he leaves you a funny voicemail and tells you to throw something casual on because he’s taking you out for a non-date date. You feel kind of good but kind of skeptical again but you read in your horoscope that you should be more spontaneous, so you shave your pubes and throw on a mini-dress. Now, back to you as the dude. This is what an average pick up looks for me. Went swimmingly at first. The girl is skeptical but then loves me by the end of bar time. I’m not predisposed to one night stands ¾ of the
time, so I usually take them on a casual date before sex (personal preference… I’ll go for the one night stand if the sexual vibe is super strong there and then but that’s about it, I’m in no rush). But then by the time I take her out on the date, she’s had all the aforementioned stimulus and skepticism build back up into her system, so she’s guarded again. On the surface, it looks like it’s “going terrible.” But from experience, I know that this is when it’s going the best, and is going to be completely easy from here on out. The key now is to simply be consistent in being relaxed, and keep it going until the girl “flowers” as I like to call it – literally opening up like a beautiful, feminine flower. As long as you’re relaxed, you’ll pass her tests without even noticing it. Over time, she has no choice but to become aroused by you, and when she flowers, this is the point when she is ENTHUSIASTIC and RECEPTIVE to having sex with you – it’s now just a matter of being alone and leading it there physically. The way to tell that she’s flowered is, you will feel very relaxed and grounded, and she will be hyper-attentive and reactive to everything you say and do. You’ll notice her micromanaging her behavior, her words, giggling at all your jokes, staring at you with anime eyes, etc. It’s at that point where mentally and emotionally, she WANTS to have sex with you, so it’s simply a matter of physically leading her to it (i.e. making out, taking her clothes off, fucking her, for any of you virgins). So essentially, the premise is this – be relaxed, and from that vibe, keep it going no matter what until she flowers, and then lead her easily until sex. This is a closed loop in terms of game, it’s essentially foolproof because it’s an emotionally-based dynamic. This is where “there’s no reason why I’m not enough” comes into play – no matter if you are socially awkward at first, say something a bit stupid, stumble over your feet or your words, it doesn’t matter as long as you have that relaxed vibe, she will come to a point of flowering either way. Then the real game is played in logistics – it can be challenging to surmount obstacles, like friends, loud music, getting her home, etc. This is why this kind of mindset can be applied in the club to success, but is super consistent on day 2s / dates. As long as you keep it going until you can clearly see she’s flowered, she’s ready for sex, and all you gotta do is throw down. An easy way to mentally reference this for yourself is by remembering the (extremely shit) graph I have drawn below. It gets the point across: (Girl at start of hang out, closed off) __ __ __ __
__
__
YOU (relaxed) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------__ __ __ __ (Flowering/sex) You're the same at the start as at the end in terms of the focus (having fun, killing time) and the way you feel (relaxed). But at the start she's standoffish and skeptical, at the end she's hanging off you. It takes all the stress off you from now on because you know that flowering point is INEVITABLE if given enough time with you. Added bonuses include that the relaxed vibe is socially and sexually versatile (it’s easy to chat with anyone when you’re relaxed, and it’s easy to get turned on when you’re relaxed), and you don’t really have to stress or think about game much anymore – you can experiment but it comes from that relaxed, solid, consistent baseline that is actually based on a natural man-woman dynamic. You can make it happen anytime, anywhere
without worrying about warming up or the dynamics of the environment, because your sole focus is simply keeping it going and you know if it “didn’t go well” it was simply a function of severe lack of chemistry and / or not being able to keep it going long enough for her to flower. Another bonus is that when girls sense you have this vibe, THEY will go out of their way to “keep it going” with you, meaning that they’re gaming themselves, doing the heavy lifting for you, and basically seducing themselves onto your dick. This dynamic continually reinforces itself throughout your relationships, so that you can choose to build and lead the relationship wherever you choose after having sex with the girl, with minimal effort, since she’s compliant to your leadership physically and emotionally once she’s flowered. Anyway, I don’t expect everyone to get this, since it appears too simple to be true – but if you’re at an intermediate / bridging on advanced level, this is something that can make you hellishly consistent with minimal effort, and thus make you more “advanced.” And finally, last but certainly NOT least, the key to maintaining this vibe is to only identify with what you are as a man. If you sleep with 3 dimes in a week, you only identify with what you are as a man. If you go out all week and don’t get so much as a number? Whatever, you only identify with what you are as a man. Thus giving you the baseline good relaxed feeling that will allow you to run this process with the girls you meet with great consistency. Best of luck friends – questions are welcome. This post was more on the theoretical side, but if anyone wants feedback on particular situations or just general inquiries, I’m happy to elaborate. BroilerBroom
Human After All 10Pin
This is probably the last thing I'm going to write for a loooooooong time. I can't think of anything else to say after this. Apologies for the length, but it had to be said... Let’s talk about being real. Because pretty much every pickup guy I met in the last couple of years is far from real. I've been out with guys dressed up like pilots, guys who grow beards to be George Clooney and guys who ran around the club after me taking notes. These guys aren't bad people, but they are misguided. I've been far from real too: I didn't do routines but I definitely had a pickup alter ego that only enjoyed itself when it pulled. These people are simply not real. And nor do they seem to want to get any 'realer'. They are following the idea that piling caricature upon caricature on top of yourself will somehow, one day, make you attractive. Maybe it will, maybe. But I would venture there is an altogether easier, more straightforward way. This way is called 'self esteem'. This is, of course, nothing new. Ozzie told Kimball on bootcamp that every fucker in the club is faking it. We can cut through that by being real, by having 'The Soul' that Tim talks about. The love for women and the love for ourselves. But it seems to have been temporarily forgotten while guys pursue their peculiar 'pickup artist' dreams; of precisely when to say the right thing, when to do this, when to do that...yet never asking "when do I have fun? when do I get to be me??" This game, lest we forget, is to be played for GOOD EMOTIONS and nothing else. If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong. If the girl isn't having fun, you're doing something wrong. Here is a timely reminder, from none other than Jeffy: "RSD wants absolutely nothing to do with the "seduction community". Fuck pickup artists. Fuck the guys that ask your girls what you said to them. Fuck the guys who try to pull your friends' girlfriends simply because they think its 'fair game'. Fuck the guys that follow you en masse wherever you go like the Pied fucking Piper. Fuck all that. Do you honestly want to be a pickup artist? With all the wierdness that that entails? Or do you want to be a straight-up cool guy who feels at home in his skin; happy and enjoying life? If there is to be a break from the seduction community, there are questions to answer. Who are we supposed to be, if we can no longer follow the tactics, the lines, and adopt the mannerisms of those that went before us? EASY... You can be you, and I can be me. It is genuinely simple. A lot of people don't want to see this, because there is no egoic thrill in learning yourself...there is no 'new skill' that you can 'show off'; it is simply just you. You actually SHED layers as oppose to gain them; egoically at least, you are losing as opposed to winning. It is funny that guys think that endless study will somehow yield results; that logic can answer the emotional conundrum of attraction. Forget it, and consider this: if you shine like a light, she will be drawn to you. Shine
like the brightest light she has ever seen and its GAME OVER. To drop pickup requires supreme trust in yourself, which is easier said than done. This can be scary at first...scary to believe you can step into a club without your suit of 'pickup armour' and that that is going to be enough?? This is genuinely beyond some guys' perceptions. In some senses it is easier to have more faith in Jeffy (and thereby adopting his mannerisms) than it is to have faith in your own mannerisms, your own style. Yet in the long run, what is easier: constantly striving, spinning plates in the club to be 99% Jeffy...or to be 100% yourself? To climb the long hard path towards consistency in affected behaviours, or to take the effortless steps down towards being yourself?
This is simple; its a new horizon. It's daunting, kinda scary, but its ultimately liberating. Imagine going to the club with NO WEIGHT WHATSOEVER on your back...how can you not perform when you are being yourself? It is effortless, it is freedom. As old man Tolle pointed out, "It takes no time to be the person you are meant to be" ---------Now, lets talk a little bit about why we struggle to be ourselves. Why we would rather place our faith in pretending to be some 'guru' we have never met, as opposed to placing our faith in the face we see every day in the mirror. This is from my own experience. Clearly the main reason that a lot of us wind up in this community is because we got fucked up, hurt, messed around and now hold bad images of ourselves. This is a consistent trait. Everyone has gone through this, no matter how untrue that may seem. We have to first acknowledge those wounds - to see them for what they are -, then not identify with them but simply accept them and understand that its all simply a part of life. It is what it is. However, most guys take one of two routes: 1. See the wound, and become identified with it 2. Pretend the wound doesn't exist, and try to drown it by going 180 degrees the opposite direction Neither are particularly helpful on our quest towards realness. If you become the wound, then you are just putting another layer of self-pity on yourself. Its not real, its in your head. But if you kick back violently against the wound and go the opposite way, then again, you are just putting a mask on yourself. Its leverage, but to get to realness you will one day have to let it go. In either case the guy has become far too emotionally caught up with his pain. He either is crippled under the burden, or attempting to fly all the while being shackled to the ground by his bad memory. You can't fly with a rock tied to your foot. An example: as a reaction to their getting hurt (or fear of), a lot of guys see women through a haze of misogyny, where everyone is fucked up except themselves. We've seen guys on these boards saying there is no point in having a woman as a friend, that all women are sluts, that love is a waste of time. To stop pain getting in, it does make sense in a pretty wonky kinda way. Instead of me getting hurt, how about I just hurt everyone else? Instead of me getting judged, how about I just judge everyone else? I suppose at least you are getting your strikes in first. But in the long run, this serves only to build a shell around yourself:
These guys build a shell of anger or dislike for women. Other guys build a shell made of game. This guy now no longer gets rejected - instead his game gets rejected. Or he fronts at being a player who 'doesn't give a shit'. He piles layer on layer of affected mannerism on top of who he is, all the while reinforcing to himself on a subtle micro-level that really, he is not enough (the further he goes in his quest to fly, the more the rock pulls him back). And his peers encourage him to keep up this shell - they love the persona, the drama, the way he writes and the things he does. They aren't trying to hurt or mislead him, but they just don't want to see him change. You can see this in real life - people hate on Paris Hilton, Robbie Williams, whoever...but is anyone of these people actually going to help them to change? No. It is far more fun to vicariously watch them run themselves into the ground (whether we know we are doing this or not). However you make it, this shell, as much as it might keep the bad stuff out it unfortunately also keeps the good stuff out too:
This is when game becomes a misery. Its hard to be selective with emotions: either you become a robot or you learn to roll with the punches good and bad. Remember - we play this game for good emotions. If you want the really good stuff, you are going to have to take some of the bad stuff too. When we create this shell around ourselves, it stops us from connecting as real people. The game no longer becomes fun. It stops that incredible 'click' you get when a girl and a guy can be totally real with each other. But this click is the reason I play this damn game - it is one of those things that when it happens takes your breath away. Its an amazing feeling. But for it to happen, you have to be connected to your feelings. It can't happen any other way. In a one-on-one interaction sense, generally speaking you need to go first in order for her to follow. If you go up, with your tricks and your shells, she'll play back with her own tricks, and put up her own shell. If you can go up totally fucking REAL?...she will respond to that. This is self-esteem. As you know though, to be at this place we have to be connected to our feelings. And you know what that means? It means that yes, sometimes we will get hurt. Sometimes we'll take a real sucker punch. Sometimes we'll get blown out hard - and we won't have game to hide behind. Nor can we walk away blaming all womankind for being 'sluts'. It simply is what it is. Is this weak? I don't think it is weak. In fact, I think it is strong. I think it is strong to put yourself in a position where you can be vulnerable. I think it is strong to go into a risky place - or to be in a relationship where you can love. What I think is WEAK, is hiding from the punches. Running away from them. Hiding behind your paper-thin shells of game and misogyny. This is the weakness you can smell on so many guys in the club. We aren't going at it like hippies in the club; we tease, we play, and call girls names. We have fun with them; enjoying them and the moment. We escalate and we close. But its where it is coming from that is making the difference - she enjoys it more; I enjoy it more. The core enjoyment for women can only come from when we've acknowledged that which hurt us, accepted it and let it go. We can't click our fingers and expect it to simply vanish, but by simply accepting it (a la Tolle/meditation) we can progress ourselves as men to playing this game for real , as a HUMAN BEING; to fruitful and enjoyable relationships and - dare I say it? - connections that truly make the game, sex, and every other moment of filthy, smutty debauchery a genuine win/win moment for us and the girl.
Allow yourself to be fully manned up in all your glory Prince of Persia
Wow. Apparently a couple nights ago with the new moon the tides of destiny have turned and some ancient Mayan shit is about to go off. The times have doom have come to an end, the floodgates to the new consciousness have opened. Supposedly. Ever since that fateful evening, of course in retrospect, I've felt completely different. Before these strange days, whenever I found myself rooted deeply in my body, I would get really chill. This would reveal an entire onslaught of masculinity I wasn't even aware I had because I was too busy chasing my own tail and doing backflips to amuse people. Of course, eventually, the buzz of insecurity would hop back in and I'd find myself handstanding and grandstanding all over again. I'd tell myself, even though I'm more calm, I'm far too boring. Oh, my sense of humour has gone down the tubes faster than SNL's (that's Saturday Night Live, not Same Night Lays for you POOAHs in over your heads ;)). Though, it's all about striking that lovely balance of lightness and strength, isn't it? Taking what needs to be taken seriously, seriously, without taking yourself seriously. No matter how much the world appears to be a problem, the world is never a problem. The problem is your perception of the world, your reaction to the world. The problem is looking at the surface instead of the depth. If you judge something as anything other than what it is, you're putting up blindspots that will have you wasting energy running in circles for the rest of your life. What's happened is that we've been trained to want to make other people comfortable. We do this, ironically, by bending over backwards -- that is to say, making ourselves uncomfortable. This is a distinctly non-masculine trait. By inference that makes it a feminine trait, which it's not either, so let's go as far to say that it's a distinctly inhuman trait. We're told to watch our manners, not to stare, not to splay our legs, to keep to ourselves, lower our voices, to piss in urinals. I piss in the middle of the street just to see if I can squeeze it out. Being fully manned up in all your glory is a very specific feeling of all-consuming freedom. The word freedom, commonly, evokes epic imagery of open arms and closed eyes and battle cries... but this is merely the occasional flow instead of the perpetual ebb. The cinematic moment of drastic release as opposed to the apparent banality of every day life. This is not that. This is an internal freedom...
It's an inner knowing, independent of supporting images. The image is merely a context. "Hey, Sly Stallone is a badass and he clocks motherfuckers in the face like it ain't no thang. Why shouldn't I? He fights for the American dream. It's the least I can do too." Or... "Aha, so that's what my wingman's doing. He's just clawing them without thinking twice and they just melt into his arm. I didn't realize it could be that easy. I'm gonna try that..." Problem is, you're waiting to be lead here. You're waiting for an example. You're waiting for a social context for everything to make sure it'll be accepted... or at least not reprimanded. What it means to be the social context is to operate internally and then project externally. 98% of people operate externally and project externally. And hesitantly at that. Most people pass their impulses through the filter of their thoughts (their self concept), then through the social context, then they act (or more commonly, don't). What it means to be manned up is to get that impulse, NOT pass it through a self concept, NOT pass it through a social context, and then ACT. Then you ARE the social context. When you get a grip on this, your state is simultaneously strong and light. The balance is crucial. Most guys working through ego compensate by being strong, but they get in too deep and lose their playfulness, their ability to see the humour in everything. Every situation is a necessary opportunity to reinforce their illusion of control, so every situation is life and death. Instead of just being life. Guys operating through chode ego lack strength. Their lightness is their social excuse to avoid confrontation, conflict, and cave into their fundamental fears instead of facing them. Especially their deeply masculine nature. That would mean altering their entire self-concept, since most guys have a more feminine self-concept than a masculine one. That's where most guys in the seduction community are coming from, since the "strong" guys wouldn't admit they need help with women. So these chode ego guys (myself being one of them) have the task of coming into an entirely different side of yourself, and thus reality. The reason the transformation and change in perspective and state is so immense and dramatic is because your state completely alters. One of background anxiety, approval seeking, chameleonism and intense and constant rationalizations for this behaviour changes to rootedness, strength, indifference, value offering and consistency in emotional virility. People you've known to react a certain way to you will react completely differently. This will throw their reality off completely and yours somewhat. The key is indifference. But especially coming from a chode background where you know the anxiety that comes from reacting to people, when you see people doing the same to you in front of your face you will feel bad about making them uncomfortable. Of course, over time you want to come to a place where you connect on an equal level with a high degree of ease, but avoiding value polarization to appease people's insecurities or worse, egos, is counterproductive to your path. And silly, you fucker. You will notice you are a unique male. That very few men around you are as strong or liberated as you. The urge will be to a) create an ego out of it and make it stronger or b) to conform to the social world around you by becoming a femchode. This is why you have to be present and take continuous ownership of your state, else wise you will face an unsustainable and aversive ego, or a chode ego snapback. This is the deepest meaning of "the self is enough." When you come to terms with the fact that you can only
be a man on his path, and you feel supremely good about that, you become free. There is so striving, no seeking of validation of your progress, there is just progress. It is internal growth, expressed incidentally. Just fo fun nigga. Until you are fully manned up in all your glory, coming from a place of precise masculine truth, you will never know if the ways you act and perceive are genuine or if they are conditioned, or compensatory. Because you are not coming from a place of intuitive self-completion, you can only act out of a desire for external things to complete you. Until you are fully manned up in all your glory, you will never be free. All you have to do is free yourself from the world -- particularly the social world, since we are conditioned to be socially defined. You set the context. For everything. Fuck the social context, see your surroundings and people as deeply as you are capable and then act unflinchingly from that place. Never forget your lightness, let others people and especially women bring that out in you since they are the complement to your masculine energy -- they are a perfect way to be comfortable in your masculinity without ever needing to defend it. Stop making excuses, look in the mirror, see your deepest self, then be it. Realizing that you are truly the arbiter of your reality. Be comfortable in your real self and indifferent to all else. Love unconditionally, knowing you are untouchable. The self is enough, be the self and make no apologies. Love, PoP
Sometimes It's Not About The Level of Frame Control, But WHAT Frame You Set/Represent: Natural vs. Self-Taught Frames The Duck ✘
Getting back to strictly FR's from next week when I finish my Master Thesis. But untill then, all this studying and writing has me thinking. If you're like me, you hang out with high value people - many of which are naturals with strong frames. When you encounter a solid dude, you may push to establish your frame, but more often than not, you end up in a 50/50 respectful position; you don't buy into his frame and he doesn't buy into yours. But what if you're going for the same chick. Ah well, that I've had some experience with. Tried various things, of which many worked. But my favourite one is to set a more valuable frame than his. Thing is with naturals, they're emotional and used to being at the center of attention and leading. So when you hold your frame, they're in unfamiliar territory. This often times affects the frames they're trying to set, to get things "back to normal". They make bad suggestions and hold on to them, like "Hey guys, let's go to this bar", "This place sucks, let's go over there". And with enough frame control, people go along with it, even though the other bar sucks. Sometimes even their level of frame is thrown off if you decide to push some buttons. But given their years of confidence, most can hold it together. Example: Dude from Israel who was with me for a week long conference. Solid guy with military background. Led his social groups and I did my thing. Now I usually like hanging around with cool dudes, but this guy had something "dark" to him. He would make jokes at the expense of people and laugh AT them, instead of with them. And because of his frame, dude got away with it. Motherfucker LOOKED like Vincent Cassel as well. One of them curly mofo's. So, we were going for the hottest girl and I saw it like a 50/50 shot between us getting her. Her friends loved him, so she spent more time with him, while I was doing some work with the conference during the week. And then on day 2, she texts me asking where I'm at. I tell her I'm at a hip-hop bar/club having a drink, since I'm not into the parties everyone else was going to. She said she would ditch her friends and join me. When she arrived, I asked her why she's not with curly fries like all her friends. She laughed and said "He's a cool guy and funny. But I don't like the way he treats people". We end up having sex at the end of the night and I hook up with another French girl during the week. Point being: It's fun, try it. 2nd point is this: If you're around chodes, it often times only comes down to the level of frame control you have and you'll blow them out. But with frame strong dudes, your advantage can be in the TYPE of frame you're setting. Is it more fun, more creative, more VALUABLE than his, then you'll have an advantage. This also shows the kind of person you are. Think about this: Do women want a real man who BEATS them - or do they want an real man who treats them and other people well. The one doesn't always mean the other. Another thing is that I see dudes ONLY focusing on LEADING and FRAME CONTROL. Sure, those are great skills. But where the FUCK are you leading them to and what frame you're establishing is a factor as well. More so in environments with generally cool people.
Assume Things Are Not A Phase, But A PERMANENT Condition Unless Drastic Measures Are Taken The Duck✘
On the one hand, things are always moving. Life is always changing. On the other, when it comes to habits. Weeelll.. There's a reason why they're called that. They're patterns. Meaning they happen again and again. On the backdrop of "You are what you repeatedly do" and "In the way you do one thing, you do everything", those again and again activities become important. Sure, life IS changing. But our brains are so damn smart and creative when it comes to avoiding that change. This impacts how you take control of negative results and turn them into positive ones. An excuse I found my brain using a lot is "It's just a phase. I'm not doing this, because of x,y,z and those reasons will pass". As an example "It's too cold to go out" or "I'm just not in the mood to do any work". I'll wait for it to pass. The way I started viewing things to get through this procrastinative behavior is FULLY assuming that EVERYTHING is a permanent condition, unless I took INSANE action, killed the beast and then repeatedly KEPT killing it over and over again like Steven Pressfield would say, these phases wouldn't pass. I would stay right where I was and my work would as well. Your brain wants to play tricks, well alrighty then. Let's play mofo. I go from tricking it with "Just write 1 line," or "Just do 1 approach" to berading it with pussy and coward synonyms, and gearing it up like it was a life or death situations. Mental images of a drunken, fat loser that no one wants to hang around with, no one wants to even look at. To do that, the thought pattern is simple. I go: -
This will not pass if I don't do anything It's physics: Things in motion tend to stay in motion and vice versa Everything I assume to be right about my safety net is WRONG Get deep with some negative outlooks to bring out a sense of urgency And when I'm all stressed starting to take action, I reward it with positive images of success
But shit needs to get done. If you're having problems summing up the urgency, gratitude, motivation to do what you KNOW you should be doing - especially health-wise - take a trip to the hospital. Walk around there, look at the people and walls there. Get it in the head that some people you see in there aren't coming out. They had a life and would KILL to be you. To be able to walk out of there clean, healthy and with life ahead of them. Unlike you though, they ain't going on Facebook, they ain't going to McDonald's, they ain't doin NOTHIN than what they were just reminded (BIG time) is the most important things in life. Fellas, we need to get on this. There's no other choice BUT to work. We're one more procrastination minute from being the homeless dude downtown. We're a frog boiling and no matter how much we try and deny it, it's a fact we don't fully realize untill it's too late. So... "Now, you can get on your knees on the church floor, pray, hope it gets better / Or push the door on the liquor store, and see where it get ya / But me, I got to be on top / I said, me I get to be on top"
Distant Light’s Philosophy Of An Attractive Man Distant Light
Dedicated To Manwhore: I wasn't planning on making a 1000th post anymore (this is actually post #1001) but after seeing your post wondering where it was and me having no life at the moment I decided why not. I still remember back in 07 on instant messenger asking you about dominance. NOTE: All pictures are real and based on photos I've collected from hotties I know and guys in NYC, both who are living a rather extravagant lifestyle. (Please, don't repost them) Although RSD, NYC crew and a handful of community guys have helped me in this area, my focus is now on living my ideal lifestyle and having it setup similar to the non-community guys I see killing it. IMO, these guys have the best of both worlds "enjoying life" while having the potential to fool around with tons of attractive women. Recommendation: I always say this but "My Big TOE" by Thomas Campbell is an important book that everyone should read. If I hadn't read this book back in mar 09 I would've never been where I'm at nor would I have become who I am now. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------History - "...This is like a dream..." I wasn't suppose to make it to 16, already almost killed someone, (by mistake) by age 14 I'd have to be escorted from school by my fellow gang members for a month because a group of gunmen had a hit out on my friend and anyone he hangs with. Simply put I was a very negative person and reached a point where I needed to change. Around age 15-16, remembered I used to lucid dream was positive and overall an amazing kid. Discovered the term "Lucid Dream", heard you could speak to a spirit guide and so I needed to ask "What the fuck happened to me!? Why am I the way I am!?" Fast forward, beginning of 07, I'm deep within spiritual stuff which changed me for the better. Finally decided to explore this pickup stuff hardcore based off Tyler's archive. (No more running trains) I'd soon realize I wasn't happy at all and was now a negative person who could get laid. Even worst, high school ends an I can't approach solo, so I go to manhattan alone 14 days out of 16 and approach ZERO. Next day I see a drug dealer opening chicks on the train like it was nothing and it inspired me to approach 7 women that day. Fast forward, beginning of 08, I've handled majority of the negativity after focusing on changing myself. What unfolded was the best year of my life, started going to acting school, met up with an rsd guy "summa" which left me with a positive image about the community. I'd later meet "haze~" an the crew "Lprince", "Mix", "AS89" along with dozens of other well known guys "Utopiafive", "Phred!", "JT", "Saad" (Before he was an instructor) End of 08, life was slowly collapsing BUT I was at the peak of my game. I was a 19 year old kid hitting NY night venues 3x a week an going home each night thinking "These people don't even know, its all a lie I'm not even 21!". Funniest moment was meeting nathan! because I actually left a set when my friend said nathan! was here. (Him, Jeffy & Manwhore helped me big time back in 07) Inspiring moment was seeing alex dominant and makeout with this chick in under 1min so next week I decide to makeout in under 1min with every girl. (Huge success) This is also the time period where I was meeting hotties who would want me to leave with them and their group, I was underage so I always declined. (Even the hottest woman I've ever seen in my life) Women started inviting me to all sorts of things (Private island in Denmark) and rich dudes wanting to party with me everyday and telling me to stop by there businesses for champagne. During 09, I was just shocked at the experiences I was having and was dying to be 21...
By summer 09, mix and I would start hanging as he helped me into two other clubs under the pretext that I'm a promoter. An there I was 40 girls and 4 guys with free drinks and food, random chick trying to get me to come home with her and random chick following mix into the bathroom. This experience fucked with my mind because I shifted to wanting hotties almost exclusively. Two weeks later I'd meet 8 gorgeous women in less than a week...
However, despite this chick dying to hangout and things being on between us, the time she showed up she instantly left texting "Sorry babes, this isn't my scene I'm going to xyz high end venue". Started noticing a pattern, all these women lived some form of jet-set lifestyle which made me start thinking about "lifestyle" stuff. By time, I started shifting my life collapsed (Sept 14th 09) and I wouldn't be back out for 7 months. This was a huge blow because I was consistently going out having a blast an having options between 5-8 women a night, all I had to do was nonchalantly take one of the chicks home. Apr 2010, I'm 21, read to fucking takeover after 7 months of hibernation. First month, I came out strong only to lose steam after realizing I'm using the most unreliable phone. It was taking me 2 hours just to text all chicks, I'd get to the club no service or the phone just stops getting calls/texts. Project collapses and restarts from scratch on sept 14th only to collapse again around oct 4th. Despite knowing I can build this just based off first hand experiences, I've yet to gain the opportunity to see how far I could take all this... (I've had to rebuild my whole life about 7x now) NOTE: I'm not going to go indepth theory or any experiences as examples since my journal is flooded with that shit. I'll just provide an overview and leave you with experiments I did which ultimately lead me to become the person who I am. These are my own truths I discovered, you can't just believe me because I have 1001 posts, go seek the truth for yourself. For all you know I could be lying my ass off, so go out! :)
Social/Fun Guy - Meet This man along with many other non-community guys living NY made me understand the biggest currency is YOU (an the value you offer) and there is no downside being the social/fun guy. People want to be social at all times they just don't get the opportunity, do you really think a group of chicks are coming to some million dollar space just to watch others watching other's? I'm providing an opportunity for people to be social and I'm also inspiring people to be social in a care-free manner. When I show up I'm already hyped to have fun an I don't wait nor care for something external to happen as I proactively get things started. The key thing that needs to be understood is that women regardless of their age LOVE FUN and want to be around all the fun. People in general are waiting for someone to inspire them and take the lead which is where you come in. I'm purposely creating a fun atmosphere helping others have fun escaping from their boring/normal lives and problems/issues. Byproduct of BEING a social/fun guy is that your 100% guaranteed to meet lots of people regardless if your doing it proactively or passively. You will always have a blast an everything will be a bonus adding to the fun you already have by default. Reason your going out is to have an epic time because you know your going to be meeting people for the sake of having fun which will result in some wild experiences. (Once went out an got interviewed by a news reporter, snuck into a yacht company convention, had to defend a friend, and then ended up in the middle of a reality show) Also, you'll be getting tons of people seeking you out, inviting you out, giving you free drinks and all sorts of perks. Start out I never used to drink an now every night I get offered drinks to the point where I get drunk. Also AA and hesitating is non-existent shit is actually comical because you know your the one providing the opportunities. No situation is weird whether your socializing in a restaurant, mixed set, all girl store, make shop, etc because your just having a blast PROVIDING OPPORTUNITIES. Experiments/Projects/Programs/Challenges 1. Short Set Method - Go around interacting with everyone over and over again. (My interactions average a total of 5mins with any one chick regardless of what's going on in the interaction) From when I enter I'm
chatting/joking with whoever an from there I'm walking around interacting, leaving and interacting with someone else. Sorta like I'm swinging from tree to tree. (Keep in mind as the social/fun guy you can do no wrong because your helping everyone) 2. Low Key Method - Don't even bother going around talking just chill alone or with friends and have your own fun, if a chick walks by or is within the area just chat her and bring her into your world if she's cool. (I usually do this when I'm my life is in a current state of collapsed but I happened to still go out) 3. Homebase - Friend has a table OR due to socializing I get invited to someone's table. What I do is create the party at my table and bring more chicks to the table. If not bottle service oriented then I just find a group I have the most fun with and establish them as my homebase. 4. Mini Homebases - These are different groups around the venue that you had the most fun with so regardless how the night is you'll always have fun. Between my "homebase" an having multiple mini homebases women surely are going to be coming up to me even if I'm with a new/random girl. 5. Host - Focus on creating memorable experiences by purposely instigating the party. (When I go out its like I'm the ambassador of fun) Be prepared to be bombarded with women coming to you or around you. (I've had 5-6 different women run up to, generally I can always just makeout with these chicks.) 6. Self Amusement - A classic concept, basically entertain yourself just to see where the interaction will go and letting whatever happens happen. (This is how the wild things occur) The key is having the interaction YOU want to have by leading it in whatever fun direction you want all for the SAKE OF FUN. I'll jokingly bring shit back up, pretend she brought something up, I'll just dominate her verbally by fucking around with the interaction and even creating shit out of nothing. (When I'm making out I'm only amusing myself to see what will happen haha or fucking with her because I know she won't at that moment) 7. NO SERIOUS TALK - Do not talk about anything logical except for when your screening. (Which many times isn't even logical either) Relationships are built on having fun, fluff talk and shared experiences. However, screening is the only acceptable logically talk that can go on, fuck connection building and rapport. (You'll bond on a deeper level by having amazing shared experiences, I've met chicks who I thought were a waste to call an next thing you know they're wondering where I'm at and want to meet up)
Fascinating Man - Screen YOU ARE THE OPPORTUNITY, they have to prove themselves to you. Women get no special status until they've proved they deserve that status and regardless if she's hot she still needs to meet your criteria. I'm always wondering if a chick can handle me. If your truly fascinating an have options of selecting which chick you want, how would you know which one to take. (Have someone randomly pick out of 20 different chicks?) This isn't some shit you can fake YOU MUST HAVE some form of standards/criteria/boundaries because that's what makes you attractive. "Does she make the cut?" is what your looking for, no one is perfect but so longs she atleast makes the cut. Be very casual/aloof about seeing if she makes the cut, don't hide the fact that you have a criteria. You have to realize the rate that you'll meet people an have people seeking you out will cause the competition for you to be high. (The mere fact new hotties enter the market everyday makes it even tougher) If she doesn't meet your criteria you must be willing to walk away no matter how attractive she is or how great the offering is. Your reality will be soft/weak as shit if you don't stick to this because now your TRYING instead of just being. The ones who truly make the cut will know the drill an maintain those standards in order to stay on the team. This will make you naturally screen immediately to figure out what your going to do with this girl, if anything and when. This is all for the brand, (you) an your figuring out where she fits within your lifestyle. IMO, this is the most powerful aspect of who I am and why I'm interpreted as a douche. But like a famous chef said "I'd love to pass everyone but I refuse to compromise the standards of my school for the sake of letting someone I like as a person pass." Chicks will be chasing you hardcore an going out of their way to get an opportunity to meet you or get your attention. (Always make chicks feel good for chasing you regardless if your interested or not) Women are going to be fascinated by you, constantly qualifying themselves and doing shit to win you over. Best of all, YOU WILL GET YOUR IDEAL TYPE (Atleast personality wise, your most likely not going to find many japanese women in a small town in mid west america) and they'll understand how to be and treat you when in your presence. Although I don't fuck with this I've noticed a powerful dynamics in terms of chicks falling in love when you fully select a woman OR if you have an criteria an bang out tons of chicks who actually don't fit the crtieria. (I've noticed chicks become shocked when they realize they won you over despite not really fitting your ideal type) Experiments/Projects/Programs/Challenges 1. Express Yourself - I PURPOSELY express myself 100% in a "take it or leave it" manner and push things in a "try to defy me" manner. It's like I roll in a business meeting kicking open the door, open my briefcase an saying "This is the deal, if you don't like it fuck outta here". I'm ultimately just going with the flow an if we don't mesh she's done me a favor and I can screen her out. 2. Criteria/Standards - What does you "ideal" type look like physically? (Specify) What is her personality like? How will she fit into your lifestyle? (All women should be judged based on how close they come to that ideal, the closer the better) 3. Aloof Screener - Screen immediately whether passively (expressing yourself 100%) or actively. Nonchalantly ask questions and LISTEN as she slowing brings your interest for her out. (1min makeout challenge I'd grab a chick saying "Where are you from? OMG I love that place" *makeout*) 4. Judgment Day #1 - Interact with chicks an once it isn't meshing well walk away (You'll reach a point where it's her issue not yours and if anything you can just comeback later to see if she got her act together.)
5. Qualification: Light - Throwing out questions which takes little to no effort for her to answer. Cold read by making random observations about her. Asserting boundaries by joking about it an telling them you don't like it. 6. Qualification: High Energy - Asking silly questions, playfully challenging her, qualifying her under a roleplay, playfully asserting boundaries by telling her what she can and can't do or just denying her and then giving her what she wants. Playfully accusing her of having things you want or don't want in a woman. 7. Qualification: Medium - Asking specific questions about her, telling her what value she has to you, complimenting her on things she hasn't cultivated, framing what you like or dislike by talking about SOMEONE ELSE. Framing what you like or dislike by talking about PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. Asserting boundaries by telling them its not cool. 8. Qualification: Deep - Asking questions which are specific things about her that requires depth and insight, telling her exactly why you like her, telling her you like her based on things that can't be logically explained, qualifying her based on the connection between the two of you. 9. Qualification: Utopia - Showing her where she fits in you life, telling her why you've decided to give her that position, and letting her know how to maintain it. (This is the pinnacle of qualification IMO an I rarely use this since I don't want chicks attached to me like that)
Desirable Man - Select When I started getting effortless results it was when I removed ally my wants/desires. How? Understand there will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be more, you don't have to go to them because it'll never end. This isn't the last girl you'll ever talk to or have sex with because EVERYDAY thousands of younger, hotter, cooler women are turning 18/21and the older women are COMPETING with those younger/hotter women for the same men. (I've seen chicks blowout other chicks just to interact with me, shit is ice cold) Women are women are women, there essentially all the same women. (There is no difference fucking a cutie and a hottie as I've fooled with both in the same night an found no difference besides how much more motivated I was to give an experience to the hotter one) There should never be a worry about the end result because it doesn't matter it's just women. There is always more, you don't need to get this specific one, there are other hot women this girl isn't the only hottie. Women want to become attracted to you and want hooking up to be THEIR IDEA. The chick knows if she waits or hesitates even for a second this man will be getting offers from other women who are potentially more attractive so DO NOT BOTHER CHASING, there is no need to even chase alittle. (Social/Fun meets so many women an he's a fascinating man so he truly will have offers from other women, there is no need to freak out an start beasting over some chick) This doesn't mean your a passive bitch because although your not chasing her, you can create opportunities for her to express that idea of wanting to hook up with you and allow her to win you over. (Giving her the opportunity to meet you by approaching, going for the makeout, etc) Dudes who chase waste time worrying about a chance to make something happen, worry about taking the interaction further or making sure she's interested. If chick is thinking about winning you over, then so longs you create opportunities she'll do what she wants to do. It's important to realize sex isn't a big deal, a guy who doesn't really care just gets it when he feels like it because he never believed it was a rare mystical activity. (Go to a swingers club an have sex or drop ego and pay, sex is accessible in many forms) With that said, the strongest males are always competed for by women. All women want him and they'll be lucky if they end up with him because HE CHOSE HER out of all the others. Ultimately you choose who you have sex with, if its possible for her to get you and when she can have sex with you. Overall, this is the aspect that caused me to consider myself a "high end escort" because it truly felt like I was just giving all these women experiences and certain chicks were just rewarded by giving them sex. I'd be fooling with one chick, another runs up an then I'm surrounded by tons, and next thing you know I'm making out with another chick. The funniest experiences was chick asking if we can makeout for fun and a chick who ran up to me an I just makeout, move her to the railing , finger her and tell her I might fuck her later. If a pull didn't go through the transition would feel like handing out a paper to each person in the business meeting, I'd just nonchalantly walk to the next batch of women who wanted me. Like I said before I never got to see how far I could take this but I do have a list of all the avenues I can take which I'll mention later. Experiments/Projects/Programs/Challenges ...Opportunity - Start seeing everything as an opportunity for her whether standing your just standing next to her saying nothing or grabbing her and just pulling her to the stairwell ...Free Flow - Let the chips fall where they may because nothing needs to happen AND because you can walk away at anytime.
Your "Reality" Show: The process that makes a bachelor sex life possible This is the process that naturally causes you to have tons of women around you who come close to your ideal type. This is the byproduct of becoming a social/fun guy who is fascinating and desirable by women. Dudes talk about theory so much an forget this is all about about probabilities. Non-community guy in NY knows 1,500 models its highly probable he'll have sex with a model. If you live in a small town in the mid west don't expect to find tons of hot japanese women. The non-community guys who inspired only hook up with hotties because they strategically setup things where it became probable. The basis is understanding that your going to live your interesting life. Even if this woman never hooks up with you, it doesn't matter because there is always more and you don't need the validation of having sex with her. (No one is keeping score) This system is about giving women the opportunity to meet you and possibly come into your life. Bring them out to do something your already doing an to save time just invite them all out sametime because whether directly or indirectly they'll be competing for you. Hot women can sleep with men at anytime they want so it's not unique. HOWEVER, women want to get fucked badly by fascinating men and they are down for alot of things when he's present. It's so rare for women to meet a fascinating man that when they do they'll chase hard! So how does it all work? Planting seeds while living a "bachelor" lifestyle... It's established that as a social/fun guy it's 100% guaranteed that you'll be meeting lots of new people. (women) Women know your fun so they're always going to want to be around and the fact that your fascinating is going to cause them to want to win you over and meet your criteria... As a desirable man your giving HER THE OPPORTUNITY to chase you. Being aloof letting her chase, bringing the interest out of you while you just convey their is a possibility that you might be interested but its not for sure. This is all because at the end of the day you don't really give a fuck if it happens or not...
As a social/fun guy I can create an opportunity for her to actually get my number in hopes of eventually being able to hook up with me. It's all fun an dandy in the neighborhood an I give her the easiest excuse for having my number. Which is getting together again for something social or for some form of info. (Generally logistics for your/her place, after party, possibly meeting uplater, etc) I make it known that she can reach me anytime she wants. I NEVER CALL, only give her the opportunity to meet up by inviting her out to something I'm already doing. The only thing I do is leave the door open for people (women) to come along into my life. Now think about how many women I meet when I'm proactively going around meeting everyone and I got shitloads of women running up to me. All these interactions, mere fact that I'm a screener, I just blurt out "Shit I'm shocked you can handle me, I'm leaving so take my # an will have another adventure xyz date." (Make her put # in your phone an text your name showing her your phone or calling making sure she save name) The shit is like clockwork because as I constantly do lap an lap if I want to leave I just run from one chick to the next getting there # and then just pull the girl I like the most. While the "blow me or blow me out" dude is focused on pulling 1, I just planted tons of seeds AND potentially pulled. (He planted nothing but potentially pulled one chick) Now PULLING... Be forward an get to the point because this is her opportunity if she's been trying to win you over this is what SHE WANTS. Be flirtatiously playful finding out what's going on and what her intentions are by asking her or accusing her of trying to hook up with you. PUT SEX ON THE FUCKING TABLE, in the past I noticed this is why I didn't pull many women who seemed so into me. Be NON-VERBALLY DIRECT, putting sex on the table by making a move aka leading her physically without caring if she's down or not. If she resists first time, try only ONE MORE TIME because she might want you to sit back as she seduces you. An if not, then drop it it, you presented the opportunity twice, gave her the chance to take full responsibility by seducing you so now the window just closed. (Its up to you to decide if you'll ever reopen it) or Be VERBALLY DIRECT, putting sex on the table by asking in the form of a question. (The sooner you put it out there is the more likely she'll follow through when the opportunity arises) Generally this consists of me asking about logistics and saying "Lets go" or me telling them I might be down for fucking them that night. Be that unapologetic man who gets things started quickly because he's got a busy life and constantly on the move. Makeout early and put sex on the table in a "take it or leave it" manner because no matter how long you wait it'll always be the same result. Just take action, if she shuts you down, let it go because your not missing out on anything. (You know how much options you'll have?) Just embrace being the male escort with confidence an think about how great its going to be for her as you lead it towards sex. (This is very powerful if you clearly show you have no intention on being her boyfriend) Pulling is all about dealing with the logistics an I've been using my phone as a way to deal with it. I now take certain chicks numbers for the sake of possibly hooking up at the end of the night when our friend's are gone. (This is great to have potential pulls as backup) I also setup "text for sex" where basically I let chicks know they can text me if they need me to come over and fuck them. (Chicks I fuck I let them know if they need me just text "tonight") Also when you've planted so many seeds before going out you can send texts "I'm might be down for hooking up tonight, hit me up later". The thing is you'll NEVER be able to handle all the women in the world an the vast amount of women you'll have means you can just set it up where it's effortless... - You have chicks coming out who you can choose from - You have new women in the venue who you can choose from - You have women you texted BEFORE the club letting them know you might be down for hooking up later - You have women you #closed in the venue who you told you might be down for hooking up later
- You have selection of all the women in that moment who wants to go home with you - An if your that fucking horny you can mass text your whole network of women to figure out who's out right now. (Yea its fun being with you so chicks have no problem randomly coming to a so called after party, because in the back of their mind that's THERE OPPORTUNITY to possibly seduce you) Like I said before I haven't been able to see how far this actually goes but I do know in about 4 days... - I had 2 chicks on "text for sex" - There were about 8 chicks in my phone I fooled around with who were down with the swirl - Pulled a new chick who I bumped into - I dropped ball pulling one chick so went back to pull my original girl who was pissed that so many women were coming up to me. (So she called her fuckbuddy in taxi as I pulled with this natural) - Could've been a dick to the natural an take the girl's friend who was pissed at her friend (I guess if she knew she'd do this she would've taken me for herself) - Met a natural dude who's girl and her friend came to me (fun) but I felt like a dick fucking his flow up because he was friend's with a guy I know. When I was about to leave, chick told me not to leave implying she'd roll with me haha. One of the chicks is going to live in NY for a summer. - Chick claims she saw me at another club before an so I #close, then she actually tried to meet up that night. Next time I saw her she greets me by kissing me haha and then introduces me to her friend who starts going for me. - Chick comes up makeout, finger, leave and tell her I might fuck her later. She cameback like 3-4x to makeout with me haha. An those nights I wasn't going around meeting women for the most part I'd chill alone or at "homebase". First hand experience is the only way you can turn potential possibilities into truths. The irony is that I do LESS now because this takes no effort, just BEING produces the results an I can choose how much energy to put into building it more rapidly or slowly.
Creation of your "Ideal Lifestyle"... Food, Partying, Traveling & Women are something I love an happen to all go hand in hand together, but enough about me. The thing all the natural guys in these "high end" spots have in common is the amazing lifestyle they built. There all confident in who they are and what they do for a living because there focused on following their passions. These guys are PROACTIVE at building there lifestyle... At the same time I'm learning its not a race and that thousands of opportunities are right around the corner. The first month of summer I randomly spoke to this chick who turned out to be a host at one of the toughest clubs to get into. I fell off the radar for a bit, an when I came back out I met another chick who was going to another semi-private club which article's joke "If your in there then jayz KNOWS YOU" implying that he'd be part of your entourage. This area related to pick is all about mapping out all your interests/hobbies/passions and integrating it into your social life because if you can leverage your social life, you can take everything to the next level not only for yourself but your social circle and anyone who comes into your lifestyle. Add the fact that your "Reality Show" is running in the background so you are living life and have tons of women in your life. At the end of the day no one really cares what you do with your life so focus on it without worrying about
others. Stop wasting time on irrelevant BS an focus exclusively on the areas you truly enjoy and makeup reasons to have people come together that is based around your interests, hobbies, passions. BE CREATIVE!!!! The whole basis is that it's no longer pick just this fascinating man who lives a fascinating life and hooks up with the women he TRULY ENJOYS most. Everything seems effortless because your not trying or doing anything, it's just who you are. When you make those internal shifts you know you'll meet women, you'll have the option/potential to handle your sex life whether you want a girlfriend or tons of women. The beauty is that they ALL come close to your type. (90% of the women in my phone come close to my type with a few coming very close and there is never a feeling of "Ugh, I'm not even attracted to this one") Irony is that ALL OF THIS ARE BONUSES because you only went out to have a motherfucking blast, helping the human race have abit of fun. The free drinks, random stories, and people within your life are just the bonus for going out for the sake of adventure. You don't know how far your life potential can go until you've explored all the possibilitiess...
When I watch videos like that knowing that I love to party it always reconfirms for me to check how far this goes because I know 100% if I was at such events I'd be having an epic time and most likely having more options than I can handle. I jump for joy at possibilities, no excuses here. P.S...As it says in My Big TOE "All results must come to you...If you make the internal modifications then you'll gain the right consistent reality to corresponds with it." P.S.S...I'm not a fan of rereading an trying to make sure everything makes sense since I like to keep things raw an uncut. So if I need to go deeper on certain aspects then feel free to ask. I think I have a week or 2 left of having no life. P.S.S.S...Before anyone asks about daygame, its the same process. I'm that social/fun guy who's having fun and I just screen, screen, screen. Before I used to be very physical in the daytime but I actually dislike daytime so I just get straight to the point. If I'm not saying some random shit to start the convo, I'm in lazy boy mode saying "You seem cool" or "I like your style". I'm so aloof/casual screening them that people actually thought the chick wasn't interested BUT really it was me being so aloof about it that I almost seemed bored. (I still fuck around with the interaction though, just more emphasis on screening so I know whether to stay or go)
