EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES
EFT Level 1+ Manual To the syllabus of the AAMET (Revision 1.1)
September 2011 Andy Hunt Practical Wellbeing www.practicalwellbeing.co.uk
Dedicated to Karen Partner, friend and proofreader extraordinaire. Finder (and forgiver) of my many mistakes and author of much happiness.
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Table of Contents Introduction................................................................................................... 5 The Origins Of EFT......................................................................................... 6 THE DISCOVERY STATEMENT....................................................................................8 The Basic Recipe............................................................................................ 9 THE SETUP.............................................................................................................9 THE SEQUENCE.....................................................................................................12 THE 9 GAMUT PROCEDURE....................................................................................13 THE SEQUENCE (AGAIN)........................................................................................14 THE REMINDER PHRASE.........................................................................................15 SUBSEQUENT ROUND ADJUSTMENTS.......................................................................15 SUDS – MEASURING YOUR PROGRESS....................................................................17 PSYCHOLOGICAL REVERSAL.....................................................................................17 Short Cut EFT............................................................................................... 19 1. AWARENESS.......................................................................................................19 2. BALANCING.......................................................................................................19 3. CLEARING.........................................................................................................21 How To Clear Negative Memories................................................................26 THE MOVIE TECHNIQUE........................................................................................29 The Personal Peace Procedure.................................................................... 34 EFT For Physical Issues................................................................................ 37 Improving Your Results............................................................................... 39 How To Tackle Problems............................................................................. 44 DIVIDE AND CONQUER..........................................................................................44 THE FIVE STEP PROGRAM.......................................................................................45 THE TAPPING WORKSHEET.....................................................................................46 3
THE ABOUT, TO, AS IF … PROCESS.......................................................................53 Variations On A Theme................................................................................ 55 FINGERTIP EFT.....................................................................................................55 SIMPLE ANXIETY RELIEVER......................................................................................56 Frequently Asked Questions........................................................................ 57 Troubleshooting........................................................................................... 61 Developing Your EFT Skills......................................................................... 62 EFT Level 2 Training.................................................................................... 63 And Finally .................................................................................................. 64
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Introduction This manual is designed to give you an introduction to Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) according to the EFT Level 1 Syllabus promoted by the Association for the Advancement of Meridian Energy Techniques (AAMET). EFT is a simple and effective self help and therapeutic tool. An EFT Level 1 Training is designed to let you use EFT for yourself, family and friends for a wide variety of everyday difficulties including resolving difficult memories, working with physical issues and cravings. EFT is a technique that can be used in a therapeutic setting however it is not a therapy in and of itself. If you want to develop your use of EFT in a professional or therapeutic setting you will need to take an EFT Level 2 training to expand your skills and practice.
AAMET The Association for the Advancement of Meridian Energy Techniques AAMET was founded in 1999, and is recognised as the largest professional Association worldwide supporting all Meridian Energy Therapies, including Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). AAMET is set up to promote ethical practice, to support its members and forge links with professional organisations.
Disclaimer Please note that while EFT can help a multitude of problems, it is not to be used as replacement to medical treatment, but can usually be used in conjunction with it. Discuss these issues with your therapist or doctor. When you use these techniques on yourself, please take full responsibility for your physical and emotional well being. Exercise common sense on the issues you choose to work with. Contact an EFT practitioner if you need advice or assistance. 5
The Origins Of EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a member of the Meridian Energy Therapies including Thought Field Therapy (TFT), Tapas Acupressure Techniques (TAT) which have been developed over the last couple of decades. These psychological therapies derived from medical energy techniques such as acupuncture and shiatsu. In shiatsu and acupuncture, pressure (or needles) are applied to specific points on the body aligned with a 'subtle energy' system. In the Chinese and Japanese systems these pressure points are aligned along meridians. By stimulating the energy system, acupressure / acupuncture / shiatsu and other techniques influence the health of the body. Meridian Energy Therapies use this meridian system to stimulate the 'energy' system to resolve negative emotional responses by balancing disturbances in the energy system which is at the root of our experience of negative emotions. EFT has been described as emotional acupuncture without the needles. A psychologist, Dr Roger Callahan, was exploring different ways using the meridian system to help people for whom conventional talking therapy was not very helpful. In the 1980’s he used this new therapy on a patient called Mary, who was suffering from an intense water phobia and who had been receiving conventional therapy without results for some years. By tapping on the meridian point just below her eye, Callahan successfully and unexpectedly resolved her phobia. He spent the next 10 years developing his approach calling it Thought Field Therapy (TFT). Gary Craig learned TFT, refining and simplifying it into Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). In stark contrast to the proprietary versions of these therapies requiring extensive and expensive trainings he gave EFT away freely to all.
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“Even though EFT violates just about every conventional belief out there, the results remain remarkable. EFT isn't perfect, of course. We don't get 100%. But it usually works well and the results are sometimes spectacular. It often works where nothing else will. We are still learning why EFT works so well. It centers around the profound effects of the body's subtle energies using the theory that "the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy system." Accordingly, EFT is an emotional form of acupuncture except that we don't use needles. Instead, we tap with the fingertips to stimulate certain meridian energy points while the client is "tuned in" to the problem. Compared to other techniques, EFT is usually quite gentle and substantial relief is often achieved with little or no pain.“ Gary Craig, Developer of EFT
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The Discovery Statement The Discovery Statement is the fundamental presupposition or operating belief of EFT (and other energy psychology techniques)
The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy system. If you are conventionally trained in the mental health field, this may appear to be a ridiculously simple and naive statement. However working from this perspective allows the EFT Practitioner to work on a wide variety of problems using a single technique. Rather than look for specific causes for different problems, EFT practitioners assume that the disruption in the energy system is the primary factor, resolving that disruption clears the presenting problem whatever that might be.
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The Basic Recipe The Basic Recipe is the original version of EFT. It is included here as it is the foundation of all the later short cut versions that have been derived since. Although it looks a little complicated at first glance, with practice, each round can be performed in about one minute. The Basic Recipe is broken into four parts: 1. The Setup 2. The Sequence 3. The 9 Gamut Procedure 4. The Sequence (repeated)
The Setup The Setup is designed to prepare your system for the tapping. It is designed to take care of something EFT Practitioners call Psychological Reversal (PR) which are hidden blocks to the tapping process. These reversals are unconscious blocks to recovery, they are not present all the time or in all situations but they are dealt with at the start of a tapping routine as a matter of course. EFT works on the assumption that Psychological Reversal is present, whether it is or not, and treats it accordingly, the process takes only a few moments and no harm is done if there is no reversal. The Setup has two parts an affirmation and rubbing a 'sore spot' or tapping on the side of the hand.
The Affirmation As PR is caused by unconscious negative thinking, the correction for it includes an affirmation which helps address those blocking thoughts. “Even though I have this _____________, I deeply and completely accept myself”. The blank is filled in with a brief description of the problem you want to address.
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For example. Even though I have this fear of public speaking, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I have this headache, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I have this anger towards my father, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I have this stiffness in my neck, I deeply and completely accept myself. You can also use: I accept myself even though I have this_________. Even though I have this ___________, I deeply and profoundly accept myself. I love and accept this_______________.
myself
even
though
I
have
All these affirmations have a similar pattern, they acknowledge the problem and affirm self acceptance in spite of the problem. Some things to remember about the affirmation: •
It doesn't matter whether you believe the affirmation or not just say it.
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It is better to say it with feeling and emphasis but saying it normally will usually work well enough.
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It works best to say it out loud. If you are in a social situation you can say it quietly, or silently - though that might be a little less effective.
While you are saying the affirmation you are simultaneously rubbing the "Sore Spot", or tapping on the "Karate Chop" point.
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The Sore Spot There are two sore spots located in the upper quadrants of the chest. Go about three inches down and to the left or right of the top of your breastbone. Press around with a couple of fingertips in that general area and you will find a spot that is tender to the touch. It shouldn't be painful, though it may be a little uncomfortable. Adjust the pressure of your touch accordingly. If you have had any surgery in that area or there is some other reason for not applying pressure in that area tap on the Karate Chop Point instead
The Karate Chop Point The Karate Chop point (KC) is on the fleshy part of the outside of either hand between the top of the wrist and the base of the little finger. Rather than rub the Karate Chop Point you vigorously tap it with the fingers of the other hand. Use your writing hand to do the tapping on the KC point of the non-writing hand. In the original Basic Recipe the Sore Spot was the point of choice. As time has passed the Karate Chop Point has become the favoured method in the Setup because it is much more convenient, especially in group work. The various short cut methods use the Karate Chop point exclusively.
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The Sequence The Sequence is the tapping part of the process. Using your fingertips to tap on the end points of the major energy meridians in the body. This is the method by which the negative emotions are softened and released. Tapping Tips •
You can tap with either hand but it is easier to use your writing hand.
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Tap with the fingertips of your index and middle finger.
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Tap solidly. You should feel a little 'bump' against the underlying bone when you tap. Don't tap so hard that you hurt yourself.
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Tap about seven times on each of the tapping points.
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Most of the tapping points are on either side of the body. It doesn't matter which side you use or if you switch sides during The Sequence.
The Points
In acupuncture each energy meridian has two end points. For the the Basic Recipe, we only tap on one end of the meridian to get the soothing effect. The end points of those meridians that we use (in the order in which they are tapped) in the The Sequence. Face and body points
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At the beginning of the eyebrow, just above and to one side of the nose.
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On the bone bordering the outside corner of the eye.
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On the bone under an eye about 1 inch below your pupil.
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On the small area between the bottom of your nose and the top of your upper lip.
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Midway between the point of your chin and the bottom of your lower lip.
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The junction where the breastbone, collarbone and the first rib meet.
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On the side of the body, at a point even with the nipple (for men) or in the middle of the bra strap (for women). It is about 4 inches below the armpit.
Hand points •
On the outside edge of your thumb at a point even with the base of the thumbnail.
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On the side of your index finger (the side facing your thumb) at a point even with the base of the fingernail.
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On the side of your middle finger (the side closest to your thumb) at a point even with the base of the fingernail.
• On the inside of your little finger (the side closest to your thumb) at a point even with the base of the fingernail.
The last point is the gamut point which is used in the 9 Gamut Procedure. Each of these points is tapped about seven times through the sequence.
The 9 Gamut Procedure The 9 Gamut Procedure is the most bizarre looking process within EFT. It is designed to get as much of your brain to participate in the healing process as possible and does this using a variety of eye movement and humming and counting. Moving your eyes in different directions engages different parts of your brain, accessing visual, auditory and other systems. When humming or counting we are also accessing different mental systems. Combining these 13
with tapping provides a deeper stimulation of the nervous system by the tapping. The 9 Gamut Procedure lasts about ten seconds but allows nine of these brain accessing functions to be performed while continuously tapping on the Gamut point. The Gamut point, is on the back of either hand in the groove just behind the knuckles of the ring and little finger. This routine is sandwiched between two rounds of The Sequence. Looking straight ahead, holding your head steady do the following 9 actions while tapping continuously on the Gamut point. 1. Eyes closed. 2. Eyes open. 3. Eyes looking hard down right. 4. Eyes looking hard down left. 5. Roll eyes in a circle as though your nose was at the centre of a clock and you were trying to see all the numbers in order. 6. Roll your eyes in a circle in the opposite direction.. 7. Hum two seconds of a song (perhaps Happy Birthday). 8. Count rapidly from one to five. 9. Hum two seconds of a song again. Following those steps while tapping on the gamut spot completes the 9 Gamut process.
The Sequence (again) Finally tap through the tapping points of the sequence again to complete 'the sandwich' of the basic recipe. Once memorized the Basic Recipe can be applied to an almost endless list of emotional and physical problems and provides relief from most of them.
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The Reminder Phrase Not surprisingly the Setup, Sequence, 9 Gamut and Sequence again can be quite distracting. In order for the tapping to work the issue being tapped on needs to be in awareness to be available to the tapping. To keep awareness focussed on the issue we use The Reminder Phrase. Remember the Discovery Statement states that "The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy system." When we tune into certain thoughts, memories or circumstances the disruption in our system is caused and we feel the negative emotion associated with it. If we are not tuned into the issue, we do not get the disruption in our system so the tapping will not work. To tune into an issue all you have to do is think about it, or remember it, or attend to the sensations that go with it. This might be difficult to do while tapping, humming etc. so to keep the issue in mind we use a Reminder Phrase to keep the issue within our mental view finder. The Reminder Phrase is a word or short phrase that describes the problem and you repeat this word out loud as you are tapping on each of the meridian points. This “reminds” your system what you are tapping for. The best Reminder Phrase to use is the name for the problem you choose for the affirmation you use in The Setup. For example, if you are resolving a fear of public speaking, The Setup would be: Even though I have this fear of public speaking, I deeply and completely accept myself. The words fear of public speaking make a good Reminder Phrase. If possible it is best to use the words you used in The Setup. The Reminder Phrase will help your unconscious mind keep the disruption pattern going so that it can be neutralised by the tapping.
Subsequent Round Adjustments It is possible, though unlikely, that one round of EFT will completely resolve some issue. In most cases more rounds are required. After one round there will usually be at least some relief from the issue being
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tapped on. To get the best results for subsequent rounds we need to make adjustments to some of the wording of The Setup and The Reminder Phrase. One reason that the first round might not completely clear the issue is because a different aspect of Psychological Reversal appears and blocks remaining progress. To acknowledge the progress made and address any new blocks we change the form of The Setup Statement and the Reminder Phrase. The Setup Phrase now becomes: Even though I still have some of this __________, I deeply and completely accept myself. Note the emphasised words (still & some) and how they change the thrust of the affirmation toward the remainder of the problem. Some examples: Even though I still have some of this fear of public speaking, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I still have some of this headache, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I still have some of this anger towards my father, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I still have some of this stiffness in my neck, I deeply and completely accept myself. To adjust the Reminder Phrase just add remaining in front of the original reminder phrase. For example: remaining fear of public speaking remaining headache remaining anger towards my father remaining stiffness in my neck Continue to apply rounds of the Basic Recipe until the issue diminishes completely.
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SUDs – Measuring Your Progress In EFT you enquire of the client how ‘intense’ some emotion or thought is on a scale of 0 to 10. This is sometimes called the Subjective Units of Discomfort or SUDs scale. I think discomfort is the right word, to have any negative reaction there must be a level of discomfort in the body. Remember an embarrassing situation you were in … you probably know you were embarrassed because you can feel it in your body, perhaps your heart sank or your ears went pink. Your thoughts change your biochemistry, which effects your body, those sensations are then experienced as feelings. To be aware of an irritation there has to be a little discharge of stress chemicals into your system, which you are picking up in your awareness. A SUDs scale is a subjective way of measuring how intense a memory, feeling, symptom is on a 0-10 scale. It is completely subjective one peson's 4 may be another person's 8 – the point of measuring in this way is to give you or the person you are tapping with a way of measuring progress.
Psychological Reversal Psychological Reversal (PR) is one of the concepts taken from Dr Roger Callahan's Though Field Therapy (TFT). Understanding the concepts of PR helps us make quicker progress in resolving difficulties. Energetic explanation of PR Originally PR was explained as a 'polarity reversal' within your energy system as if the energy was trying to flow backwards. As an analogy think of when you put the batteries into a camera or radio, if you don't line up the batteries correctly the device wont work properly, even though there is nothing wrong with the device or the batteries. It is suggested that if this energy reversal is present then progress is blocked until that reversal is cleared. Since this explanation was suggested acupuncturists have disputed the notion of energy going backwards which is not a concept that fits in with the Chinese Traditional Medicine model on which acupuncture and EFT is based.
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Psychological explanation of PR Later explanations are more psychologically oriented and the energetic explanations are being superseded. In these explanations Psychological Reversal is a manifestation of limiting beliefs, secondary gains or other blocks getting in the way of progress. Blocking beliefs may include: •
I don't believe I can get over this problem.
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I don't deserve to get over this problem.
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It's not safe for me to get over this problem.
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Other people need me to keep this problem.
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I'd be a different person if I got over this problem.
Effects of PR Whatever the explanation, we probably all know people who “can't”, “won't “ or “don't want” to get well. This is often put down to lack of will power or some sort of character flaw but are more likely to be the result of unconscious processes that are getting in the way of recovery. Correcting PR The Setup is designed to take care of any PR at the start of each round of tapping whether it is present or not. Since the Setup is quite quick it is far easier to include it whether it is needed or not than to discover if someone is reversed on a particular issue. You may notice that experienced EFT Practitioners don't always use the Setup. This is because they are confident that PR is not an issue in this case or has been cleared. It can always be re-introduced if necessary. However, if progress is still blocked a practitioner may go on to explore and resolve blocking beliefs in more detail.
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Short Cut EFT In the years since the Basic Recipe was invented EFT Practitioners have been experimenting with shorter and simpler versions of the process – so called Short cut EFT. One short cut version of EFT that is in common use is The AwarenessBalancing-Clearing or ABC model of EFT developed by EFT Master Gwyneth Moss.
1. Awareness To eliminate the disturbance in the energy system you first need to make it available by bringing it into awareness. This is very simple, all you need to do is think about it. Once you're aware of it, it's useful to measure the strength of the problem so that you can track your progress as the energy system is balanced. This is done using a simple 0-10 scale, where 0 is no discomfort, and 10 is the maximum possible distress. For example, if you wanted to work on a troublesome memory, bring it to mind and ask yourself: “On a scale of 0 to 10 , how bad is this memory right now?”. This isn't a rigorous scientific measure, a feeling or a guess will do just fine. After each round of EFT use this technique to measure the intensity of your issue. When the intensity is down, or close, to zero you know you've succeeded.
2. Balancing Now you have the problem in mind you need to prepare your energy system. This routine (sometimes called The Setup) makes sure your energy system is prepared before you attempt to clear its disruptions. In particular it removes Psychological Reversal (PR) a barrier to the effectiveness of the tapping, which is caused by self-defeating, negative thinking, which often occurs subconsciously and outside of your awareness. Some people have very little of it (this is rare), others are beset by it (this also is rare), most people fall somewhere in between these two extremes. PR doesn't create any feelings within you, so you won't know if it is present, or not, and even the most positive people are subject to it. When PR is present it 19
will stop any attempt at healing, including EFT, dead in its tracks, so it must be corrected. Fortunately balancing the system is easy, all you have to do is: 1. Repeat an affirmation, or “Setup Statement”, three times. 2. Simultaneously tap the "Karate Chop" point.
The Setup Statement Since the cause of Psychological Reversal involves negative thinking, the correction for it includes a neutralising affirmation. “Even though I have this __________, I accept myself and how I feel” The blank is filled in with a brief description of the problem you want to address; for example: Even though I have this fear of public speaking, I accept myself and how I feel. Even though I have this headache, I accept myself and how I feel. Even though I have this anger towards my father, I accept myself and how I feel. Even though I have this traumatic memory I accept myself and how I feel. Even though I have this fear of spiders, I accept myself and how I feel.
The Karate Chop Point The Karate Chop point (abbreviated KC) is located at the centre of the fleshy part of the outside of your hand between the top of the wrist and the base of the little finger, the part of your hand you would use to deliver a karate chop. Vigorously tap the Karate Chop point with the fingertips of the index and middle finger of the other hand.
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The Reminder Phrase To work properly you need to keep the problem issue in mind while you run through the clearing process (see below). To make that easy EFT uses a 'Reminder Phrase' to keep the mind tuned in to the issue. It is simply a word, or short phrase, that describes the problem and that you repeat out loud each time you tap one of the meridian points. In this way you continually "remind" your system about the problem you are working on. The best Reminder Phrase to use is the one you choose for the affirmation in The Setup. For example, if you are working on a fear of public speaking, The Setup affirmation would go like this: “Even though I have this fear of public speaking, I accept myself and how I feel.” Within this affirmation, the words - fear of public speaking - are ideal for use as the Reminder Phrase. Here are a few more samples taken from the selection of Setup Statements: headache anger towards my father traumatic memory fear of spiders Once you've completed the balancing routine, and you have your remainder phrase, you can continue to the next stage of the process.
3. Clearing Now you are ready to clear the imbalance in the energy system using the clearing process. Clearing is very simple, it involves tapping on the end points of the major energy meridians to balance the energy system whilst repeating the reminder phrase. The points are described here and can be seen on the diagram.
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Points on the face and body: •
Eyebrow, end of brow where it meets the top of the nose.
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Side of the eye, bone at the outer edge of the eye.
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Under the eye, directly below the centre of the eye on the bone of the eye socket.
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Under the nose, the crease below the nose and upper lip.
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Chin, under the lower lip and above chin.
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Collar bone, where the collar bone meets the sternum.
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Under the arm, side of the body in line with the nipple on a man or on the bra strap on a woman.
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Top of head, at the crown of the head.
Tap with the fingertips of your index finger and middle finger, to allow you to cover the tapping points more easily. Tap solidly (but never so hard as to hurt or bruise yourself) about 7 times on each of the tapping points; either side of the body, so it doesn't matter which side you use nor does it matter if you switch sides during the sequence. That's the end of one round of EFT. If you need more than one round of tapping. Let's say you are using the EFT process for some problem (fear, headache, anger, etc.), sometimes the problem will vanish after just one round, at other times, one round provides only partial relief, so you will need to do one, or more, additional rounds. Those subsequent rounds need to be adjusted slightly for best results. One of the main reasons why the first round doesn't always completely eliminate the problem is because Psychological Reversal blocks any remaining progress. You have already made some headway but Psychological Reversal keeps you from getting any better. Subsequent rounds need to address 22
the fact that you are working on the remaining problem. So adjust the affirmation contained in the balancing section as follows. Even though I still have some of this _________, I accept myself and how I feel. Please note the emphasized words (still & some) and how they change the emphasis of the affirmation toward the remainder of the problem. Even though I still have some of this fear of public speaking, I accept myself and how I feel. Even though I still have some of this headache, I accept myself and how I feel. Even though I still have some of this anger towards my father, I accept myself and how I feel. Even though I still have some of this traumatic memory, I accept myself and how I feel. Even though I still have some of this fear of spiders, I accept myself and how I feel. The Reminder Phrases are also easily adjusted remaining headache remaining anger towards my father remaining traumatic memory remaining fear of spiders
Now when you proceed with the next round of tapping you will be working on the remainder of the problem. If that still isn't enough you might need to do even more rounds of tapping. Sometimes relief is quick and sometimes it takes persistence.
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Quick Summary 1. Select your issue, bring it into awareness and make it specific. Become aware of it's intensity 2. Tap the Karate Chop spot whilst repeating the Setup Phrase: Even though I have this .... etc. 3. Tap the meridian points whilst repeating the Reminder Phrase. 4. Check the intensity of the issue now. 5. If necessary, adjust the setup and reminder phrase and repeat.
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Macbeth: How does your patient, doctor? Doctor: Not so sick, my lord, As she is troubled with thick coming fancies, That keep her from her rest. Macbeth: Cure her of that. Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased, Pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow, Raze out the written troubles of the brain And with some sweet oblivious antidote Cleanse the stuff'd bosom of that perilous stuff Which weighs upon the heart? William Shakespeare
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How To Clear Negative Memories We have all had stressful experiences in the past, sometimes remembering them brings back the unpleasant emotions that went with the original experience. We can use EFT to clear the negative emotions that are 'stuck' to that memory, so that it can become just a memory.
Why are some memories troubling? Some memories have more impact than others. When we look back at happy events we can bathe in the warm glow of the memory. When we look back at more troubling memories they can sometimes hold us in very difficult emotions. Even many years after a traumatic event the memories of those times can conjure up all the unpleasant emotions that went with the original experience. Traumatic memories are particularly vivid. You can probably remember what you were doing when you heard about the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centre or the death of Princess Diana. There's a good reason for this. We have evolved to take particular note of dangerous situations. In our pre-history if we were made wary of danger then we stood a better chance of steering clear of trouble later. A strong memory for the dangerous is very good for our survival. When we experience a trauma, it could be a trauma with a capital T or a trauma with a little t, our nervous systems produce adrenaline to prime us for flight or fight. One of the side effects of adrenaline is that it fixes vivid memories in our brain. Taking the sting out of these memories has been difficult up to now. The memory storage mechanism is in the emotional part of the brain, quite separate from our thinking brain. Which is why talking about our traumas has little effect because we are talking to the wrong part of the brain. Fortunately EFT sidesteps the thinking mind and directly addresses the neurology of those stuck memories. When the memory is activated all the negative emotions that are attached to it can be neutralised. After a careful application of EFT the memory is once again just a memory.
Why bother neutralising a memory? Why not let sleeping dogs lie? If the memories did lie sleeping that might be a solution, it is the solution that many people try to adopt. Fortunately for us there is a part of our brain that is ever on the lookout for problems we may have had before, ready to alert us to impending danger. It has 26
kept a faithful record of all signs of the things that were threatening to us before. Unfortunately for us, it's a response to perceived danger is to recall the original feelings that went with the experience. If we get triggered often that can make life very uncomfortable. Unfortunately, we are not in control of the triggers, our environment may be full of reminders that trigger our memories. For example: If you were badly scared by a dog when you were a child, the memory of the dog will be imprinted on your mind by the adrenaline. After some years the specific memory of the dog fades into the background. However, part of your mind rings alarm bells every time a dog is near. Maybe the sound of a dog barking, the sight of a dog or even somebody mentioning the word dog, sets your mental alarm bells ringing. You might feel anxious or even terrified and not know why. The trigger sets off the memory which releases the stress hormones. Perhaps that's an extreme example, but we all have incidents that leave an impression on our minds. Arguments with a spouse or boss, near misses in a car, accidents and shocks, the not-so-nice parts of everyday life. Every time we remember those occasions, whether deliberately or because we've been reminded of them we get a little (or large) pulse of stress hormones into our system. Stress hormones take their toll on our mental and physical well being. What if we could take the emotional charge off a memory. No more emotional reaction. No more stress hormones. Just a neutral memory. We would be much more comfortable mentally and physically. EFT allows us to do that. You won't lose the memory, EFT doesn't give you amnesia but it will remove the charge. As if having a negative charge on a memory wasn't bad enough there is another problem with big 'T' or little 't' traumas. When we are having that experience we are very suggestible and jump to conclusions about what is going on. Especially childhood experiences, we take on a child's understanding of the traumatic situation and hold on to that understanding whether it is right or wrong. Returning to our example of a child being scared by a dog. Let's imagine for a moment that one of the adults around at the time thought that you had provoked the dog and yelled at you, perhaps out of fright, "HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?". In your suggestible state you would have taken on the belief that you were stupid without question. Now you have a very limiting belief glued in place by a powerful and traumatic experience. As a different example: Imagine that you had to speak in front of your classmates at school and you were humiliated by the teacher in front of the class. (Some of you wont have to imagine that!). As a result of that you may have come away with the belief that to speak in public will mean you will be humiliated.
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It's not surprising that many people are very afraid of public speaking. Once those memories are neutralised the limiting beliefs that were formed by them can be softened and eventually removed. If you consider that all of your reactions (apart from instinctive behaviour) has been conditioned by memories, and all your beliefs, for good and ill, about yourself and the world are the result of your memories, then it makes sense that neutralising the memories and undoing those beliefs would be a worthwhile activity. You don't have to be a slave to the past.
What's the best way of doing this? If you are just learning EFT start with simple low scale memories first. The process described in this booklet is good for small scale traumas and for some more difficult ones. However, if you suffered deep or prolonged trauma, you may need the assistance of an EFT Practitioner who can help you undo all those events. It can be difficult to deal with your own traumatic experiences if they threaten to overwhelm you.
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The Movie Technique The movie technique is the principle memory resolution process in EFT. It encourages the client to be specific which is what is required for the best effect. It is useful for traumas in the mild to mid-range. For more extreme traumas the 'Tell The Story Technique' and 'Tearless Trauma Technique are recommended, processes that are covered in the EFT Level 2 training. 1. First, ask the client, "If that event was a movie, how long would it last?" Typically, they give me an answer that can be measured in minutes. This reflects, of course, a specific movie. If they say, "several days," then you can usually assume they are still being too global. 2. Next, ask the client, "What would the title be?" This also tends to force specificity. In most cases, they will give you a specific title such as, "Fight in the Kitchen" or "My accident in Mum's car." If they give you a more general title, be sure to check out how specific they are being. 3. Next, ask them to run the movie in their mind and evaluate the intensity they are having now (as they imagine it) on a scale of 010. Alternatively, you can ask them to guess what their intensity would be if they vividly imagined it. I usually find their guesses to be reasonably accurate and guessing tends to save the clients some emotional pain. 4. Next, do several rounds of EFT on "this ____________ movie" to take the edge off any intensity. 5. Either, ask them to verbally narrate the movie to you, starting with an easy-to-discuss segment, but stop whenever they feel any intensity. You will usually need to emphasize the importance of stopping because most clients are conditioned to believe that, in order to be rid of their problem, they must be brave and feel the pain while going through it. With EFT, these stopping points provide opportunities for tapping. Or, if the incident is embarrassing or personal, ask the client to run through it silently in their mind's eye and stop whenever they feel intensity then tap out the negative emotions as they arise
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6. Next, use EFT on each stopping point until there is no more intensity on that segment (aspect) of the movie. 7. Next, ask the client to run the movie in their mind in vivid detail and report on any intensity that comes up. 8. Next, repeat EFT on any leftover intensity and re-run the movie. Keep doing this EFT/movie cycle until the movie no longer has a charge on it. Tips •
If the client gets upset even thinking about the questions about the event – start tapping and continue until the distress subsides.
•
If the client gets intense feelings during the process – keep tapping until the distress subsides.
Aspects – Jigsaws and Russian Dolls From an EFT point of view problems are made up of pieces or aspects. Occasionally when working on an issue with only a few aspects, a few rounds of EFT will be sufficient to neutralise it, more often you may need to work through a number of aspects. There are two broad categories of aspects: situations and emotions, which you might think of 'Jigsaws' and 'Russian dolls'. Jigsaws: Imagine for a moment you are afraid of flying, there are often many separate things that make up this fear, including: fear of being locked in, fear of crashing, anxieties about bumps and clunks in the aircraft, being out of control, etc, etc. Each of these small fears are like pieces in a jigsaw, when we use EFT we need to neutralise each of the pieces of the jigsaw to neutralise the 'fear of flying' problem. Russian dolls: Sometimes we have many emotional reactions to events, the main emotional reaction is at the surface, when that emotion is neutralised by EFT an underlying emotion will come to the surface, much like the new face of the Russian doll contained in the first. For example, a feeling of anger, may be covering up fear, which may in turn be hiding sadness and so forth. We use EFT to reduce each of these aspects in turn. Switching Aspects
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Sometimes it is possible that while tapping on specific events you or the person you are working with reports the problem is no better. One of the most common causes for this is that people will unconsciously switch to different aspects while they are tapping. They may start on one painful part of the experience, reduce the distress on that part and then switch internally onto another painful piece of the experience and experience another jolt of distress. Sometimes, however, even after you have made professional efforts to tap on specific events, the client still reports the problem as "no better." One of the most common causes is that the client is "shifting to different aspects." Returning to the car accident example: You can apply EFT to "this accident" and you may make good progress. If you don't you can ask for more specific aspects with a question like... "What about the accident bothers you the most?" Let's suppose the person says, "Oh, the headlights, the headlights, I can still see them coming at me!" You can then tap on "the headlights" or "my fear of the headlights" etc. After their reaction to the headlights has been tapped to zero, you could then ask... "What else about the accident bothers you?" They may bring up other aspects such as, "The screams in the car" or "My anger at the other driver" or "My anger at the doctors," etc. Keep tapping on these other aspects until they can no longer find anything bothersome about the accident. As a test, ask them to "run the movie" of the accident in their mind in vivid detail. This will bring up any trailing aspects for tapping. Eventually, they should have no charge on the accident. It will just be an unfortunate event in their life, and that's all. The Generalisation Effect It may seem that if you need to address each individual aspect of a multi-aspect problem that it may take a long time. Fortunately after you have addressed a few related problems with EFT, the process starts to generalize over all those problems and releases the whole problem long before you've tapped each aspect individually. For 31
example, someone who has 100 traumatic memories of being abused usually finds that after using EFT they all vanish after neutralizing only 5 or 10 of them. This is startling to some people because they have so many traumas in their life they think they are in for unending sessions with these techniques. EFT often clears out a whole forest after cutting down just a few trees.
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Last night, as I was sleeping, I dreamt -- marvellous error! -- that I had a beehive here inside my heart. And the golden bees where making white combs and sweet honey from my old failures Antonio Machado
“Most of our emotional and physical problems are caused (or contributed to) by our unresolved specific events, the vast majority of which can be easily handled by EFT.“ Gary Craig
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The Personal Peace Procedure The Personal Peace Procedure involves making a list of every bothersome specific event in one's life and systematically tapping out their impact. By diligently doing this we can pull out every negative tree from our emotional forests and thus eliminate major causes of our emotional and physical ailments. Taking each individual toward personal peace. You can use the Personal Peace Procedure: •
As a daily practice to clear out a lifetime of accumulated emotional debris. This will enhance self-image, reduce self-doubt and provide a profound sense of freedom.
•
As a means to eliminate contributing factors to many physical conditions. By resolving old emotional hurts we allow the body's healing system to get back into balance.
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As a means for consistent relaxation.
As you eliminate the emotional baggage from your specific events you will have less and less internal conflict for your system to deal with, which translates into a higher level of personal peace and less emotional and physical suffering. For many, this procedure may result in the complete resolution of lifelong issues that other methods have not touched. It is becoming more widely accepted that our physical maladies are caused (or contributed to) by unresolved angers, traumas, guilt, grief and the like. I have had many discussions with physicians in recent years and more and more of them echo emotional strife as a major cause of serious diseases. Until now, however, there hasn't been an effective way to eliminate these health bandits. We can mask them with drugs, of course, but true cures have been hard to find. Fortunately, EFT and its many cousins now provide easy and elegant tools that will aid the serious health practitioner in killing the root causes of disease...instead of the patient.” Gary Craig
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Note: This technique is not a substitute for getting help from an experienced EFT practitioner when needed. Rather, it is a tool that, properly applied, is capable of wide ranging relief Steps of the Personal Peace Procedure 1. Make a list of every bothersome specific event you can remember. If you don't find at least 50 you are either going at this halfheartedly or you have been living on some other planet. Many people will find hundreds. 2. While making your list you may find that some events don't seem to cause you any current discomfort. That's OK. List them anyway. The mere fact that you remember them suggests a need for resolution. 3. Give each specific event a title, as though it was a mini-movie. Examples: Dad hit me in the kitchen, I stole Suzie's sandwich, I almost slipped and fell into the river, Mum locked me in a closet for 2 days, Mrs. Adams told me I was stupid. 4. When the list is complete, pick out the biggest trees in your negative forest and apply EFT to each of them until you either laugh about it or "can't think about it any more." Be sure to notice any aspects that may come up and consider them separate trees in your negative forest. Apply EFT to them accordingly. Be sure to work on each event until it is resolved. 5. If you cannot get a 0-10 intensity level on a particular movie then assume you are repressing it and apply 10 full rounds of EFT on it from every angle you can think of. This gives you a high possibility for resolving it. 6. After the biggest trees have been removed, go to the next biggest trees. 7. Do at least one movie (specific event) per day...preferably three...for 3 months. It only takes minutes per day. At this rate you will have resolved 90 to 270 specific events in 3 months. Then notice how your body feels better. Note, too, how your "threshold for getting upset" is much lower. Note how your relationships are better and how many of your therapy type issues just don't seem to be there any more. Revisit some of those 35
specific events and notice how those previously intense incidences have faded into nothingness. Note any improvements in your blood pressure, pulse and breathing ability. 8. Consciously notice these things because, unless you do, the quality healing you will have had will seem so subtle that you may not notice it. You may even dismiss it saying, "Oh well, it was never much of a problem anyway."
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EFT For Physical Issues EFT can very usefully be applied to physical difficulties, either symptoms or conditions. It's worth trying it on anything, there's no way of knowing in advance whether EFT will work. For simple physical conditions the following suggestions may help. More difficult physical issues may require techniques taught in a Level 2 training. Step 1. Sensations Use EFT on the sensations of the symptom and feelings about the symptom Describe how you would experience it in simple sensory specific terms. Use descriptive words for pain such as burning, itching, throbbing, dull, etc. Ask: “How does that make you feel?”. Often people will feel sad, angry, anxious or even guilty about their symptoms. Use several rounds of EFT on the sensations and feelings about the symptoms. Step 2. Trauma Treat any traumas that may have occurred around the time of the onset of symptoms. For example after a car crash, redundancy or similar shock. Reduce the 'intensity' of the trauma to zero. Ask what was happening in your life in the months before that symptom started. Step 3. Triggers Look for triggers or allergic responses. Are there any circumstances where the symptom is aggravated? Are there times or places where it clears up? What brings it back? Use EFT on the problem circumstances or emotions. Step 4. Implicit Emotion What is the emotion implicit in the symptom. Is it angry or sad? If your pain/bad back/etc could speak what would it say. Tap on whatever emerges. Step 5. Persistence Physical symptoms often require persistence and a lot of it. Tapping can be made into three 20 minute sessions a day habit. Stress can often make its presence felt in the body as stiff and aching muscles, headaches, churning stomach and other physical sensations. Because these symptoms can be very obvious it's a convenient way to approach stress and allows us to be very specific. 37
To work with physical issues it helps if you can be specific with the sensation and the location of the sensations. What is the physical sensation? Is it a pain, an ache, stiffness, dizziness, churning stomach, etc. What words best describe up the sensation? For example pain can be burning, stabbing, throbbing, dull, cold, etc. Where is the sensation located? Where do you feel this sensation in your body. Shoulders, knee, left big toe? With this information we can construct some tapping sequences to reduce these sensations 1. Identify the sensation and its location 2. Evaluate its intensity on a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (as intense as it could be). 3. Do a round of EFT using the setup phrase: “Even though I have this [sensation] in my [location], I accept myself and how I feel”. Reminder phrase: “[sensation] in my [location].” For example: “Even though I've got this pain in my knee, I'm alright, I'm OK!” Reminder phrase: “pain in my knee.” Or, “Even though I've got a stiff shoulder I accept myself and how I feel!” Reminder phrase: “stiff shoulder” 4. Pause and check the sensation. Sometimes there is a quick reduction, other times it takes persistence. 5. Sometimes the quality or location of the sensation changes. Maybe it goes from a pain to an ache. Maybe it moves from your shoulder to your neck. If that's the case repeat the process reflecting the change in location and/or sensation. For example, “Even though I have a stiff shoulder ...” could change to “Even though I've got an aching neck ..” This is called “Chasing the Pain” 6. Keep doing rounds of EFT reducing the intensity of each sensation as it arises.
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Improving Your Results There is an old story of a boilermaker who was hired to fix a huge steamship boiler system that was not working well. After listening to the engineers description of the problems and asking a few questions, he went to the boiler room. He looked at the maze of twisting pipes, listened to the thump of the boiler and the hiss of escaping steam for a few minutes, and felt some pipes with his hands. Then he hummed softly to himself, reached into his overalls and took out a small hammer, and tapped a bright red valve, once. Immediately, the entire system began working perfectly, and the boilermaker went home. When the steamship owner received a bill for $1,000 he complained that the boilermaker had only been in the engine room for fifteen minutes, and requested an itemized bill. This is what the boilermaker sent him: For tapping with hammer: .50 For knowing where to tap: $ 999.50 Be Specific In general, it's better to be specific! It is essential to be specific, most newcomers often fail because they address the issue too globally. For example, tapping on "My abusive mother...." rather than "the time my mother did X" Most people see their difficulties in global terms, using broad labels which, to them, seem very specific. For example: "I just don't feel very good about myself." "My father always abused me."
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"My mother never gave me the love I should have had." "I don't do very well with relationships." "I'm easily rejected." Each of these issues are composed of a large number of events and experiences which have been distilled into this 'problem'. They are like emotional forests made up of lots of specific trees (negative events). Using EFT on a globally stated problem is like trying to chop down a forest with a single swipe of an axe. You may make some progress, but it will be slow work and it will be easy to get discouraged. Rather than using EFT directly on an issue like: “Even though I am easily rejected ...” break this global problem into the specific events that gave rise to it. "Even though my teacher embarrassed me in front of the class ..." "Even though I felt so left out when my father didn't attend the school play ..." "Even though my first girlfriend said, 'I've grown tired of you' ... " "Even though I was sent to my room for the whole of Christmas day at age 8 ..." "Even though Mum told me 'you'll never get married unless you are thin like your sister' ... " These events and ones like them are the causes of the issue that is summed up in: "I'm easily rejected". The feeling of rejection is the result of these underlying specific causes. If we didn't have these specific causes, how could we possibly feel rejection? So we need to neutralize these causes by using EFT on the components of the issues. When we do we get several benefits: 1. You can easily recognize whenever EFT has eliminated a negative tree from the forest. You may start with an intensity of 7-10 for a given event and end with a 0. The change is obvious and gives you confidence.
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2. Each tree that is removed thins out the forest. The sting of rejection (or whatever this issue is) becomes less and less. 3. A generalisation effect occurs. The various "rejection trees" tend to have some common themes among them so that removing one tree has an effect on the remaining ones. Often, we can remove 5 or 10 trees and then watch the whole forest fall. “I cannot overemphasize the importance of being specific. It often spells the difference between dramatic success and apparent failure. “ Gary Craig Handling Excessive Intensity Sometimes strong emotions can come to the surface when you are tapping. If that happens KEEP TAPPING! It may not feel like a good thing at the time, but it's very useful to be able to neutralise these emotional charges when they surface. You may need to do many rounds of tapping, just keep going, you'll feel a lot better for it when you've finished. 'Your point' During the course of the tapping you might notice that one particular meridian point gives particular relief. This is known as 'your point' and it can be a useful shortcut when you need to tap for quick and discrete relief. Persistence “When nothing seems to help, I go look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” Jacob A. Riis Some problems are very straightforward and easily yield to a few rounds of EFT, some problems may take a lot of persistent tapping.
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You need persistence because of a problem's complexity. Complexity, to EFT, means the existence of several aspects to a problem each of which must be relieved before total relief is felt. In these cases be very persistent, go searching for each and every aspect. Sometimes a few rounds of tapping is all that is required to significantly reduce a negative emotion. At other times progress may appear slow. Sometimes you've just got to keep tapping. If after a lot of persistence, the difficulty doesn't seem to be resolving visit the Troubleshooting section of the manual. Try it on (almost) everything This means to be creative and expansive in one's thinking about what EFT can address. If you have some kind of issue try EFT, you may get some relief or complete relief. The worst thing that can happen is nothing at all. Caveats •
'Try it on everything' assumes common sense. It would be inappropriate, for example, to drink a gallon of petrol to see if you can "tap it away" the results.
•
'Try it on everything' does NOT mean for newcomers to go where they don't belong and try to address psychotic or otherwise seriously ill people. Use common sense and abide by the laws and regulations in your country
Testing “Testing is always important because it provides feedback on how well we are doing. In my experience, most conventional emotional healing methods do NOT contain an adequate provision for testing. Often, the process is performed and the "test" is a question like, "how do you feel now?" Frankly, that's a little wimpy. I've never understood why many in the healing professions prefer to tip toe around the issue rather than challenge their work with a head on test.” Gary Craig
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It is essential to test so that we know how we're doing with the client. •
Did we eliminate the problem completely?
•
Are there more aspects to deal with?
•
Did the client switch issues?
Client issues vary, of course, and thus testing is not the same for everyone. Here are some possible ways of testing. 1. Have them say a pointed statement that hits the heart of the issue. Their reaction will tell you whether or not you have more work to do. These examples are graphic so they truly test the effectiveness of the work. [If you react strongly to them, it is because you have a negative charge associated with them. A client who has undergone successful EFT'ing on these issues will react matter-offactly to them]. •
a. "My sister died in my arms covered with blood."
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b. "My father kicked me in the face"
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c. "My brother laughed when he set me on fire."
Usually these tests are reached after 'sneaking up' on the problem with milder statements so that can minimize any pain (and do more tapping, if necessary) on the way to the final statement. Although these statements appear brutal they provide a high quality test. The subject may still not be your client's favourite subject, but there's no reason to have an unnecessary negative reaction to it. 2. Have them imagine the event as vividly as possible. Ask them to close their eyes and exaggerate the sights, sounds and feelings and literally try to get themselves upset. This will often bring up aspects that had previously gone unnoticed. When they go through the whole exaggerated event without emotional reactions, then you have strong evidence of success. 3. If possible, recreate the problem in real time. For example, take the height phobic to the top of a high building and look down. This is one of the best tests you can perform. Any left over aspects will likely show up in these real life situations.
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How To Tackle Problems There's an old saying: “How do you eat an elephant? - One bite at a time!” Often people don't know where to start with a big issue. There are several different ways of dividing issues into simpler pieces that can be tackled more easily.
Divide and Conquer One way is to split the issue into associated memories, feelings and selftalk (the things we say to ourselves) then tap on each of these aspects of the problem until we reach resolution on the larger issues. Think of a current issue or difficulty give it a name and an overall intensity score between 0 and 10 . Name: …........................................................................... Score: …... What memories come to mind that are related to this difficulty? Give them a name and an intensity score from 0-10 Memory: …........................................................................ Score: ..... Memory:..............................................................................Score: …... Memory: …........................................................................ Score: ..... Memory: …........................................................................ Score: …... What feelings or emotions come to mind when you think of this problem? Give them a name and a score from 0-10 Feeling: …........................................................................ Score: ..... Feeling: …........................................................................ Score: …... Feeling: …........................................................................ Score: ..... Feeling: …........................................................................ Score: …...
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What kind of things do you say to yourself? What kind of self-talk goes on when you think about this issue? Self-talk: ........................................................................ Score: ..... Self-talk: ........................................................................ Score: ..... Self-talk: ........................................................................ Score: ..... Self-talk: ........................................................................ Score: ..... Now pick on of the items from the list and tap it down to zero. Move on to the next item and take care of that. Check on the overall score for the issue from time to time as you continue to eliminate its components. You may find that other ideas, memories and thoughts occur to you. Make a note of each of them and resolve them as appropriate.
The Five Step Program This is a simple method to address an issue in a less structured way.1
1. Think of the problem 2. Ask yourself: "How do I feel about this problem?" and then do a quick round of EFT tapping on that. 3. Ask yourself: "What am I thinking about this problem?" and then tap on that. 4. Ask yourself: "What am I sensing in my body about this problem"" and then tap on that. 5. If you don't feel "done" go back to step 2 and repeat the process Continue this process until you feel relief.
1 This process is courtesy of Charlie Curtis of The Art of NLP
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The Tapping Worksheet Always meditate on whatever causes resentment - Tibetan Buddhist training guideline We have a small dog called Sally, a Patterdale Terrier, she is agreeable, affectionate, determined and at times incredibly annoying. Dealing with her has been the inspiration for this simple technique that allows you to use EFT to soothe your reactions to disagreeable situations, people and dogs! Sally is a good dog in the house, fond of lying in whatever sun comes through the window and cuddling up to you on the sofa, but when it is time for her to go for a walk a Jekyll and Hyde transformation takes place. She gets very excited and impatient, almost hysterical. When I leave the house with her there is almost always a chorus of barking, yelping and squawking as she does an excellent, loud, impression of a squealing pig! Passers by look at me as if I am torturing her, and not taking her for a walk. I shrug apologetically and follow the apparently deranged dog the 100 yards to the point at which she can read and respond to her “peemails” then she calms down. I’m usually pretty calm with people and animals but after a while even my patience was wearing a little thin. One morning while preparing to leave, and Sally was revving up for her performance, I decided that I needed to do a little bit of tapping for myself to calm down. I stood in the porch, a very tall man looking down at very short dog, and did some tapping. All the while she looked at me with a “What is the crazy human doing now” look on her face. After a few minutes of tapping I opened the door and we stepped out. It hadn’t made any difference she was still yapping away like a demon. On the quiet part of the walk I had an idea. What if I make a list of all the things that aggravated me about her behaviour and tapped on those issues? When we got home and Sally had been fed I sat down with a piece of paper, wrote on the top of the page “Sally is …” then made a list of all the ways I could finish that sentence. It was an extensive list. When I had finished I went through the list reading each statement aloud giving it a 46
score between 0-10 for how intense my reaction to the statement was. The higher the score the greater the level of aggravation. This is what I wrote: Sally is … •
hysterical (9)
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annoying (8)
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anxious (7)
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scared (8)
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noisy (8)
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greedy (6)
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underfoot (8)
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clingy (8)
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jealous (8)
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insecure (7)
Having written the list I tapped out each statement using the following kind of set-up and reminder phrases: Set-up phrase: “Even though Sally is hysterical I accept myself and how I feel” – Reminder phrase “Sally is hysterical” I tapped until there was no score on each phrase in turn. I found myself feeling much less ill will to Sally as a result. The next day I made ready for the walk wondering whether the tapping had made any difference in Sally’s behaviour. It made some difference in her behaviour but it made a huge difference to my response to what she was doing. I just accepted the situation and got on with it. She was going to do what she was going to do and I wasn’t nearly so bothered about it. Sally must have picked up on my new mood because she was a little less noisy than usual. Since dogs are good barometers of their owner’s moods I think she had picked up on my relaxation and was relaxing accordingly herself. I’ve since tried this process out as a way of working with our reactions to difficult people or situations. It’s quite a simple way to unpack a complex
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set of reactions into tappable issues. All you need is a piece of paper and a pen. Write down the situation at the top of the page in the following format: ” … is …”. E.g.. My boss is …, my husband is …, the meeting is …, my job is …, Alice is …, George is …, whatever word best sums up the difficulty Complete the sentence as many times as you can, working down the page as you go. E.g.. •
My boss is angry
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My boss blames me
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My boss gives me a hard time
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My boss is power crazy
•
…
When you have completed your list read each statement out loud and give it a score between 0-10 of intensity. Start with the most intense statement and begin to tap using “Even though X I accept myself and how I feel” and “X” as the reminder phrase. Where X is the item on the list. E.g.. “Sally is greedy”, “My boss blames me” Keep tapping until the statement is neutralised. Work your way through the rest of the list. When you have finished think about the person or situation and estimate your reaction to it. If anything else arises take care of that also. Important: When I say ‘Sally is annoying’ it looks like I am making a statement about her behaviour, but in reality I am describing my reaction to what she does. The statement should read “Sally does something and I am annoyed” and it is that annoyance that we are tapping on. In each case we are tapping on our reaction to the situation, the other person, or whatever is provoking that reaction. When I tapped out “Even though Sally is annoying, I accept myself and how I feel” it is the feeling response that Sally’s behaviour elicits in me that is being reduced.
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Just in case you think this is a light weight technique for dealing with difficult dogs. It can be extremely effective for a whole range of human experiences. I was using this a few days ago at a Cancer Support Group Meeting when we were working with challenging situations for cancer patients (there are a lot to choose from). One lady was worried about her next chemotherapy session. I asked her to complete the sentence “Chemotherapy is …”, she came up with Chemotherapy is … •
saving my life
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unpleasant some of the time
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taking control of my life
Then we went through each item on the list. When she said “Chemotherapy is taking control of my life” she started to get visibly upset. It was obviously a very charged statement for her. We spent some time tapping using “chemotherapy is taking control of my life” as the tapping phrase, until the feeling subsided. At the end of several rounds of tapping she was settled and saying the words had no effect, they were just a bunch of words. Of course her situation is the same, she still has to face the next chemotherapy session but she can do it without having the thoughts and feelings of “chemotherapy is taking over my life” rattling around inside her causing extra unnecessary distress. The next time you find yourself being upset by a situation, person or small dog you might like to get a piece of paper, make a list, do some tapping and enjoy some emotional freedom. Over time I have extended this simple process to create The Tapping Worksheet2, a simple way to break down a troublesome situation into its parts, which you can work on one at a time.
2 Available for download from http://www.practicalwellbeing.co.uk/resources
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The Tapping Worksheet Describe the situation in a few words
It (he/she/they) is ... • • • • •
I see ... • • • • •
I hear ... • • • • •
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Score (0 - 10)
I tell myself … or I imagine ... • • • • •
I feel ... • • • • •
This reminds me of ... • • • • •
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Steps 1. Think of the issue or situation that you want to work on. 2. Give that issue an overall intensity score from 0-10. 3. Complete the statements with whatever enters your mind. 4. Go through each statement, reading it aloud, give it an intensity score from 0-10 5. Start by tapping out the statement with the strongest intensity. 6. Work through each of the 'charged' statements in turn. 7. Recheck the original situation charge.
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The About, To, As if … Process 95% of our problems talk back - Anon This is a very simple three step process designed to help you manage difficult relationships with others whoever they are. They may be family members, friends, acquaintances or people you barely know. This can be a quick and simple process taking only a few minutes or it can take some time to run through the process fully. Even if you cannot complete the process in one tapping session, any tapping done in this way can yield benefits. Important: If the person you are working on has been responsible for any severe traumas or abuse in your life then you need to take care of those memories first using the Movie Technique, or by getting the assistance of an experienced EFT Practitioner. Before you start, imagine the other person is in the room with you and gauge your reaction. We will return to this reaction later to test the work. Step 1. Talking About For the first part of this process, start tapping on all the points continuously as you describe the situation as you understand it. He does this ... and I do this ...., she says this ... and I say that, they ... etc. Describing all the things both parties say and do and your reactions and feelings to it. Eg When he said ... I felt …, or when she did ... I felt ... etc. Keep tapping until the charge in your description has been reduced. Be as free and frank as you need to be. If you feel judgemental or angry then express that, even if you wouldn't dream of doing that in person. If a particular part of that description causes you distress dwell on that part of the description tapping until the charge on that part goes down. Step 2. Talking To In the second step your focus of attention moves away from the 'facts' of the situation and onto what you would want to say if you could. In a safe way, imagine that you can say what you want to say to this person (or 53
these people) and imagine having them hear it. While you are tapping, say what you need to say as if they were present. The purpose of this tapping is to free you from the emotional charge surrounding this issue (you need never say these things in person). Say everything you would want to say both positive and negative 'to' that other person while tapping. Keep tapping and talking until the emotional charge drops. Step 3. Talking As If The third step is to tap for the person's point of view as you understand it. Pretend that you are the other person. Imagine that you can mind read the other person and describe the situation from their point of view. This doesn't have to be accurate just what you think is going on in their minds. You are not agreeing or condoning their point of view or justifying their choices. You are just pretending to be them and tapping for whatever is going on in their mind. Just talk as if you were them. Keep tapping until the charges around these issues subside. Imagine again that you are with the other person. What are your reactions now? Repeat the process as necessary. As we grow up we learn our behaviours, feelings, and beliefs about ourselves and the world and how to respond to various situations. Every adult relationship we have is a co-creation conditioned by those earlier experiences. All the parties bring these learned actions and reactions to the relationship which in turn trigger the reactions and actions of the other parties in a mutual dance of responses. Even though we are not tapping directly on the other person's feelings and responses, the fact that we can change our own will lead to a change in the dynamics of the relationship. Note: The About, To, As If method was originally developed by Gwyneth Moss and reworked for relationship issues by Gene Monterastelli. (see Developing Your Skills)
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Variations On A Theme Fingertip EFT EFT works by tapping on various points on the face, body and hand. You can use this cut down version of EFT to stimulate your meridian system by tapping on the points on the fingers. This is an effective and discrete way to get relief from stressful feelings. With practice this can be done discretely with one hand. Two Handed Method 1. Become aware of the feeling you want to relieve. For the tapping to work, your awareness has to be on what it is you want to relieve. 2. Using the index and middle fingers of your dominant hand, tap the outside edge of the nail beds of the thumb, fore, middle, ring and little fingers. 3. Continue tapping on each of the points in turn, until the negative feeling diminishes in strength. You may need to do several rounds. Single Handed Method This takes a little more practice and dexterity, but it's a more discrete way using this technique in public situations. 1. With the thumb of your writing hand, tap about six times, the outer edge of the nail beds of each of your fingers. 2. Use the index finger of the same hand to tap, six times, the outer edge of the thumb nail bed. 3. Repeat until negative feelings are reduced. This is a rather unfamiliar process, and most people need a little practice to become comfortable with it. Perseverance will pay off because you can use it in a variety of everyday situations where a full round of EFT would look a little bit strange. 55
Simple Anxiety Reliever3 This technique is derived from EFT and looks far too simple to have any effect. Try it out a couple of times and find out for yourself. 1. Place several fingers of one hand on the point just behind the knuckles of the ring and little fingers. Apply pressure and rub gently in an almost imperceptible circular motion. This just looks like you’re scratching your hand and draws no attention from onlookers. Or alternatively, you can pretend to be nervous or bored and slowly tap the flat of these fingers on this point, and that will work too. 2. Doing this while a negative emotion is active will cause it to quickly reduce in intensity and then disappear, usually in about a minute’s time. The speed with which this can work is truly stunning, as a seemingly-locked-in-place feeling of upset, depression, fear, or whatever can just melt away “just like that” and be completely gone in a minute’s time. 3. This can be used for compulsive urges, such as a smoking or food urge, for negative feelings like a feeling of annoyance, depression, or anticipatory anxiety. It’s a quick and easy way to handle preevent jitters. It fits right in and is very natural when you’re sitting in a waiting room where other nervous people are unconsciously rubbing and tapping on their hands as they try to relax.
3 This very simple technique comes courtesy of Charlie Curtis of The Art of NLP. 56
Frequently Asked Questions How do I know I'm doing it right? If the levels of intensity of your problem are coming down then you are probably doing it right. Check that you are tapping the points as shown on the diagrams. What should I if it doesn't seem to be working? If you don't seem to be making much progress check that you haven't switched aspects that is that you haven't switched your attention from what you started on to something else. Humans are excellent at making associations and connections, it's very easy for our attention to shift from one 'aspect' of the situation to another related aspect. Make sure that you are focusing on one aspect while you go through the tapping routine. You may need to increase the strength of your setup statement, have another round this time saying with some force EVEN THOUGH I HAVE THIS ANNOYANCE I accept myself and how I feel. A little emphasis is needed to get the point across. If at first you don't succeed tap, tap, tap again. Sometimes emotional intensity diminishes rapidly after just one or two rounds of tapping, at other times you may need to persist doing many rounds of tapping to get the desired result. Do more rounds and check the results. There may be underlying core issues that are blocking your progress. If you are not making good progress then it might be time to visit an EFT practitioner who can help you isolate and resolve these blocks. What is an aspect? Most problems and negative emotions are a combination of different parts or aspects. Like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle these pieces are arranged to give us our experience of the problem. For example the traumatic memory of a car accident may consist of 'separate' memory fragments: the oncoming lights, the squeal of breaks, sound of breaking glass, the sight of injured people, the pain of injury. 57
Together these pieces fit together to form the memory of the accident. Each of these pieces may need to be resolved individually. A different set of aspects might be the layers of emotions around a problem. Sometimes lesser emotions are hidden behind the original problem feeling, when that is reduced then these feelings come to the fore (and can be neutralised by EFT). For example a feeling of anger can be reduced, allowing a feeling of fear to arise, which can be reduced, leading to resentment which can be reduced leading to sadness which can be reduced leaving a feeling of relief and freedom from the original problem. Where do I start? The best place to start is by tuning into the problem and using the description of the feelings to begin. Try out Eating The Elephant, The Five Step Process or The Tapping Worksheet as starting points if the problem seems quite large. What do I say? In its simplest form the formula is very simple :Setup phrase: Even though I have this [problem], I accept myself and how I feel Reminder phrase: this [problem] You don't have to make things complicated just use the words that naturally describe the problem. The words are only there to help you tune into the problem, if you can do that you don't need to worry about the words. How long does this take? Unfortunately that's a 'How long is a piece of string?' question. Some issues can be resolved with just a few rounds of EFT. More complex issues can take a lot of persistence and some guidance from a professional before there is a resolution. In general it's worth persisting with issues. Later on we'll cover some of the things you can do if the process seems to be stalling.
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Does it matter which side I tap on? No you can tap on either side, alternate sides or even tap on both sides simultaneously. Do you have to believe in it for it to work? No, it seems to work just as well whether you believe in it or not. This process is working directly on your nervous system it doesn't require belief one way or the other. What do I do if I get upset? Sometimes what seems like a simple issue can trigger an intense response as you tune into a painful memory or a deeper issue. If that happens: KEEP TAPPING! Getting upset probably doesn't seem like a very helpful state to be in, but with EFT it is good news. Remember that EFT works by neutralising negative emotions that you are tuned into. If you are upset you are tuned in, you don't need to use the words, just tap until the negative feelings subside. What happens if other feelings come up? Sometimes as you are tapping on one issue a new emotion or memory comes into awareness. This is a very common occurrence. If you are working with a practitioner it is their job to keep track of all the issues that come up in a session. If you are working on your own it's very helpful to have a pen and paper close at hand so that you can jot down other issues as they arise to attend to later. How much tapping do I need to do? For a specific emotion, memory or sensation, you need to do as many rounds of tapping as you need to get relief. That may be one round or many. For a global problem you will probably identify lots of aspects and memories that need to be worked on. In that case you will need to do a lot of tapping. It's probably fair to assume that there will always be something else you can tap on. However with each issue resolved you will feel just that bit lighter and more at ease.
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When do I need to stop? It's probably not a good idea to tap continuously for 10 hours at a time. Like most things a little and often is a good policy. Decide how many things you are going to work on in a day and stick to that number. Sometimes big shifts in your understanding and nervous system need some time to integrate. Can I do too much tapping? It's possible if you are doing hour after hour of tapping that you will either get tired or bruise yourself on your tapping points. Remember a little and often is better than an infrequent blitz. How can I work on my own? EFT is unusual in that it can be used on your own. There are many stressors that can be worked on by following the guidance in this book and your own experience. If the issues you are working with are very intense or spring from a period of serious abuse then it may be advisable to get the help of a qualified practitioner. Although you can do a lot of work for yourself it is very hard to be therapist and client for yourself at the same time. This looks really stupid, how can I do this in a meeting? EFT does look very silly. You might be thinking to yourself "This is all very well but how on earth am I going to use this at work or in company?" You can either adjourn to the bathroom, or use one of the fingertip tapping techniques to do discrete EFT.
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Troubleshooting Sometimes it can seem like you're making slow progress. Here are some possible explanations and remedies. The problem is being approached too globally In general it's better to be specific, if you are not getting a lot of progress try to tune in more exactly on the problem. Rather than 'I feel stressed' try 'I feel stress pain in my shoulders'. Or break the problem into smaller pieces. Identify the different components – memories, feelings, thoughts and sensations that make up the problem – all of these can be tapped on individually. The Setup was not performed completely enough. It's possible that psychological reversal is getting in the way, repeat the Setup statements, tapping more vigorously on the Karate Chop spot and saying or even shouting the Setup phrase – Even though I ..... Switching aspects. Check that as you are tapping on one issue your mind is not wandering onto other, related, difficulties. This is an occasion when a notebook can be very useful to keep you tuned into one difficulty at a time. Work your way systematically through each aspect. A core issue is interfering. Sometimes there are deep seated issues below the surface that get in the way of progress. If you have relief on an issue one day and it resurfaces a few days later it's possible that you have other processes at work. In these circumstances it's useful to approach an EFT practitioner to work through these issues.
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Developing Your EFT Skills In what ways can I progress with my EFT? •
Above all: practice, practice, practice!
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Visit my website www.practicalwellbeing.co.uk for more articles and tips on how to use EFT. You can also sign up to the FREE newsletter on that site.
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Book one to one sessions to assist you to make the changes you want and increase your own skill
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Attend EFT Café events
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If you want to use EFT for work with clients consider taking an EFT Level 2 Training.
A huge range of articles about EFT can be found on the www.EFTUniverse.com website. Recommended Sites These sites contain informative and useful articles. www.tappingqanda.com – Gene Monterastelli's informative site www.eftdownunder.com – Steve Wells and Dr David Lake www.emotional-health.co.uk – Gwyneth Moss, Master AAMET The Association for the Advancement of Meridian Energy Techniques which has a list of EFT therapists in the UK can be found at: www.aamet.org For one to one work, and information about seminars and workshops in the North East of England contact: Andy Hunt, Tel: 0754 700 9116 Email:
[email protected] Web: www.practicalwellbeing.co.uk 62
EFT Level 2 Training If you have completed an EFT Level 1 training you may want to use EFT as part of your therapeutic toolbox in a professional capacity. To become an AAMET Certified Practitioner you will need to complete the EFT Level 2 training which includes: •
Techniques to make working with difficult issues more comfortable for your clients.
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Working with trauma
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Finding the core issues behind the symptoms
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Working with physical issues
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Using EFT over the telephone and in group settings.
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How to use EFT to encourage positive mental states
This training takes place over two days. At the end of the training you will receive an EFT Level 2 Attendance Certificate. To attain full AAMET EFT Practitioner status you must: •
Pass a multiple choice exam during the training.
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Satisfactorily complete 3 Case studies after the training.
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Commit to ongoing mentoring / supervision and continuing professional development.
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Agree to abide by the AAMET Code of Conduct and Ethics.
Practical Wellbeing only offers this training to professionals who are already working with people and want to add EFT to their repertoire. It is not a substitute for therapy training and is not appropriate as a self development training.
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And Finally ... Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still fallling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection. “Come on girl,” said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud. Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. “We monks don’t go near females,” he told Tanzan, “especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?” “I left the girl there,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?” from Zen Flesh, ZenBones, compiled by Paul Reps What are you still carrying that you should have put down long ago?
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