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Wired for Success TV
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Mastering the 7 Areas of Life
www.wiredforsuccess.tv Presented by Melanie Gabriel & Beryl Thomas
[Episode 3] 3] The F word – it’s Not a Dirty Word
The F word – It’s Not A Dirty Word [Episode 3] Wired For Success TV [0:00:20] of http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv.. I am Beryl: Welcome to another episode of http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv Bery Beryll Thom Thomas as and and this this is my coll collea eagu gue, e, Melan elanie ie Gabr Gabrie iel. l. Say Say hell hello, o, Melanie.
Melanie: Hello everyone. Beryl: Here at Wired for Success, we aim to bring you some fresh thinking and new perspectives perspectives to help you master the seven areas of life. For more on what hat thes these e area areas s are, are, just just head head over over to our our intr introd oduc ucto tory ry blog blog at www.WiredforSuccess.TV. And you may be with us today on YouTube or listening by podcast or of course, watching on our site, wherever you’re joining us from, we’d like to give you a really warm welcome. We have great pleasure in bringing you another special guest today, Joanna McCormick. Hello, Jo.
Joanna: Hi, Beryl. Beryl: And welcome. Joanna: Thank you. Beryl: Jo is here to share with us her thoughts and experiences on the subj subjec ectt of encour encouragi aging ng wome women n to beco become me more more comf comfort ortabl able e with with their their femininity. Jo describes her many roles as wife, mother, event manager, NLP trainer, and feminine energy coach. I’m surprised you have time to be with us today, Jo. Go on. Joanna: I was going to say, well, even though I’m at home and this is my feminine energy coach moment, I guess, the doorbell might ring and the dog might bark. Life still goes on and the mother and wife roles are always there in the background. So bear with me if that happens. Beryl: We will bear with you. http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
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Melanie: This is actually appropriate to the topic. Beryl: Yes, it is. Joanna: Exciting. So, Jo is pass passio iona nate te abou aboutt help helpin ing g ever every y woman oman real realiz ize e that that Beryl: So, feminine is not a dirty word and vulnerability does not imply weakness, quite the opposite. But this sounds like a really good juicy topic, Jo. So let’s just head in. I would like to start by asking you why women need to review revie w their ideas about femininity.
Joanna: I think we can see right now in society that there is a massive imbalance imbalance that even – not just society, society, even the universe itself. The planet is definitely out of balance. And it’s all about energy balance because everything everything is energy. energy. Everything Everything just vibrates with the different energy and that’s what create solid and that’s what create things. So it’s all about getting that energy balance back. And I believe that once we as the main inhabitant of this planet that we have, once we regain our balance of energies then I think the earth will settle down as well. So, it’s almost like it’s mirroring what’s what’s going on with us. We are in financial crisis. crisis. The world is in turmoil. There are wars, there’s this and the other. And oddly enough, if you look at the weather it seems to reflect it. It’s weird but that’s what’s happening. So there are tsunamis when there aren’t normally. There are volcanoes erupting when they don’t normally. Earth moving, all the things that are unusual are suddenly happening and I believe it’s because there is this imbalance of energy. So it’s almost like, “I want to heal the world just by allowing women to rediscover their femininity.” It sounds so simple but I believe that to be true.
Beryl: And it’s interesting, isn’t it that things have gone so far one way. When I think about my parents’ generation, women had a very different role but now, we’ve been led to believe that we can have it all and cram it all in and go out to work and sometimes what is a very masculine workplace and it feels like it’s coming to work a crescendo as you’re saying and something
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needs to change. How did you come in to the story? I’m interested in your – what excited you about all of this?
Joanna: I mean I think for me, it was the fact that I learned to be very masculine woman for most of my life. And that’s because my father died when I was very young. My mom then stepped up into the masculine role. So she was – at first, she was just a mom who was at home and taking care of us, the archetypal stay at home mom. She did everything for us and was amazing at it. And then my father died. And she didn’t know how to drive a car and she didn’t know how to balance the books and she didn’t know any of that. Now, she was a very intelligent woman who went to university but chose to be with her children because that’s what she wanted and that’s what gave her fulfillment. And back then, we were lucky enough that we didn’t need two parents to be at work every hour of the day in order to get enough money to actually live. So she stayed at home. When he died, I mean it rocked her universe completely. And I think she, at this point, was so scared to show any level of weakness that she protected herself from the outside world. So, she didn’t ask for any help. She didn’t – there were so many places for her to go to, so many people who would have taken care of her and we had an amazing family, amazing friends but she chose to do it all alone. And because of that, she had to step into a masculine. That’s what masculine energy is. It allows you to be in control, to be focused and driven, to not allow anything to rock you. If we take take the analogy analogy that a woman woman is like a sea. sea. Sometimes Sometimes we can be calm and still and beautiful and sometimes we can be waves that are crashing. The men are the rocks. They just stand still no matter what. They They’r ’re e soli solid. d. And And that that’s ’s what hat she she beca became me.. And And beca becaus use e she she was obviously my role model, I learned from her. And so, I became a very good man without even knowing it. That combined with schools that just at the time, the only important things were the academic qualifications you walked away with. So therefore, all emphasis was on getting your O levels or A levels and going to university and all of that thing. Well, that’s one side of your brain. And that’s the masculine side. That’s very, very male-dominated stuff. So that combined with my mom, I mean I grow up and I did brilliantly well at http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
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unive univers rsit ity y and I went went into into caree careerr upon upon caree career, r, getti getting ng more more and more more focused into the masculi uline work ork, I ended nded up bei being a compu omputter programmer. You can’t really get more masculine when it comes to a job, 100% in your logical brain the whole day. And I kind of discovered that it wasn’t fulfilling me. And I was 36 when that happened. I was 36 when I made that discovery.
Beryl: What did you – so, I’m interested in that. What was that discovery? What was going on inside you? What were you feeling, Jo? Joanna: At the time, I was out living in Switzerland. I’ve been head hunted to go out there because I was the best in my field. And I was homesick. And I was homesick for the connection and companionship of home. Does that make sense? Because my family weren’t here. My family moved away by that point. My mom now lives in Canada. So it wasn’t family I was missing but it was home. It was this idea of being able to connect with everyone around me because the Swiss are very diff differ erent ent.. If you you know know anythi anything ng about about the the Swis Swiss, s, they they’re ’re very very insu insula lar. r. They’re They’re almost xenophobic. xenophobic. They don’t like outsiders outsiders at all. So I’m there in a situat uation where here peopl eople e don’ on’t want ant to talk alk to you, don’t want ant to communicate with you. And I’m very gregarious and very talkative, as you can tell. So I found that really hard and I was there for two years. And by the end of that two years even though I had more money than sense, I absolutely didn’t – I knew something was missing and that’s when I kind of fell upon a personal development program that changed my life. That’s when NLP came into it. And it wasn’t until a little bit further on than that that actually when I was in all this NLP, finding out that we can make our own choices, that life doesn’t have to be dictated from our past which was such a relief for me because I was looking at my past in a – I seem to have the same boom and bust kind of scenario when I was going in relationships, in everything. And I was going, “I don’t want that for the rest of my life.” And the fact that basically these people who I suddenly was trusting because they had all these knowledge said to me, “It doesn’t have to be like that anymore. You can choose your own future.” And I was relieved. http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
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And then when I found out about masculine and feminine energy through the guys I was working within NLP, they brought some amazing speakers to teach us more. And this incredible couple, Tanya and Nicky, who don’t really do relationship work anymore but at that time, that was their thing. They were doing relationship work. And I went to visit them in Austria and walked away going, “I need to change my life because this is fulfillment and I need it in my life now.”
Beryl: So the relationship work, I’m interested in that, so are you saying, Jo that this imbalance in you was affecting was affecting your relationships? This male and feminine … Joanna: Oh, completely. Beryl: OK. Joanna: Yes. I mean I was either having extremely short-term relationship – I was being an archetypal man in that I would find meaningless relationships and have very short-term relationships that were fulfilling in only one area of my life. And that’s physical. That was it. And then – and the times that – I mean I was married and divorced by this point. And the reason I was married and divorced was because – it’s interesting. When we first met, when we’re dating, women naturally go into feminine. We want to be taken care of at that point. Beryl: Yes. Joanna: Ther There e is some someth thin ing g love lovely ly abou aboutt a man who choo choose ses s the the restaurant and takes you there and does all the things for you. And instead of that feeling like you’re being disempowered, suddenly, you feel like that’s the way it should be. But when we then step into the relationship, it’s almost like, “Well now, it’s real. I’m going to take back control. Now, it’s real. I’m going to be the one who makes the decisions. Now, it’s real. I’m going to do all those things that I did before you came along but I kind of just pretended that I could give it up. But actually, I can’t.” Beryl: That’s so true. Joanna: And that’s what I did.
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Beryl: That’s what you did. Joanna: Yeah, that’s what I did. And I ruined what could have been a great marriage because of the fact that I didn’t allow him to be a man. And if a man doesn’t feel like a man, he needs to find it somewhere else. And men do it in all different ways. They might do it by going off to play golf on weekend or they might go down the pub with their friends or they might spend all their time on the computer or they might go and find a mistress. It’s as simple as that because those things allow them to feel masculine again and in control. Being the one who is making the decisions decisions and doing things. Beryl: Fascinating. Joanna: Oh yeah. So, I didn’t allow him to do any of that and he found somebody else who did. And so, very, very quickly we went from seemingly being very happy to him choosing choosing to leave me because he realized that he coul could d get what he thoug thought ht he was was getti getting ng at the the begi beginni nning ng and didn’t didn’t continue continue and he knew he could get it from somebody else. So he went and did. I mean I was lucky, he didn’t string out over years and years because some men do. Some men continue to have a relationship on the side or they continue continue to do this, going sex or whatever whatever it is because because of the fact that that makes him feel like a man and then they go back to their wife and just let her stamp all over him. That’s what I was doing. I don’t do that in my marriage now. But also, it’s kind of a two-way straight in that firstly, I understand it a lot better and therefore, I know when I am going into that danger zone of taking back control. control. But my amazing husband husband who used to be so rightly so behind me earlier, Brandon, he doesn’t let me. He kind of goes, “You know, that that’s ’s not not acce accept ptab able le to me. me. That That’s ’s my job. job. So leav leave e it for for me.” me.” And And because he does that, I go, “OK. You’re right. It is. Sorry.” And it just – it reminds me to stay in my feminine.
Beryl: So it’s like you both read the script. You know. Joanna: Yeah.
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Beryl: That’s really helpful. Joanna: I was lucky. He already had it unpacked. When we first met, I was definitely definitely still in my masculine masculine phase and he was not attracted attracted to me at all. It was almost like he didn’t see me. This is a very interesting point actually. It’s one I talk a lot with my women when they say to me, “But there isn’t any decent man out there. There’s no man I can trust. There’s no man who is going to take care of me like that. There’s no man who is going to treat me like a princess.” And I go, “Actually, there are but you’re not seeing them because like a radio dial, you’re not tuned into the right energy frequency.” So instead of hearing them and seeing them all the time, you’re actually ignoring them all the time. And similarly, they’re not seeing you on the right freq frequen uency cy.. It’s It’s just just about about gett gettin ing g that that energy energy right right and then then sudd suddenl enly y, there’s an attraction. And it just was like that with Brandon and I. Three months from when I met him, three months later, later, he asked me out. And he asked me out by sweeping me off my feet. He literally said, “I’d like to take you to South Africa.” That was the first thing. There wasn’t a, “Let’s go for dinner and get to know each other.” He was like – we were talking about South Africa, I said I always wanted to go and he basically said, “Let me take you there.” And I went, “OK.” And then ran off to my girlfriend and went, “I think he might like me.”
Beryl: Go Mel. saying that before you discovered your feminine Melanie: Joanna, are you saying self, had he made that suggestion, you would have had to – what would you have – what would have been your response previously?
Joanna: Sorry? Well, I think his response when he first met me was, “That’s a bull breaker. That’s the kind of woman who is so masculine. masculine. Why would I – I’m looking for someone to take care of. She clearly can do it all herself so she doesn’t need me.” Melanie: Right. So it would never have come up. OK. Joanna: Yeah, because actually, that’s a really important thing for men. They want to feel needed. They need to feel needed. And when we’re so busy doing it all ourselves and being super women, oddly enough, they’re
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not attracted to that. They want us to be going, “Actually, you know what? I can’t do it myself. Can you help me? Will you please take care of me?” And suddenly, it’s like they swell up and they go, “Oh yeah, I can do that. Thank you very much.” If you say just – if you say to any man, “I need your help.” It changes their life because they hear you saying, “I trust you as a man and therefore trust you to be able to help me.” They can’t hear what we say. They hear what their translation is.
Melanie: So how difficult – women who are effectively women and men’s clothing, how difficult is it for them to let go of this? What is actually the mindset shift they need to just allow this to happen? Joanna: It’s massive, Mel. It really is. But it can be done in an instant. That’s the weird thing. You need to just know that it’s possible for the man to be there, for that man to be there. And I think for me, I mean I got to a point in my life where I knew that if I didn’t let go of all this stuff, I was never going to meet the man of my dreams and I was never going to have the family that I wanted. And there was something inside me that all my life has said, “You’re going to be a mother. You’re going to at some point be a mother in your life.” And it was almost the clock got so loud that I couldn’t hear anything else. And it was – you absolutely have to get this sorted now because if you don’t get this sorted now, it’s going to be too late for you. And it was the pain thing of not being what I knew I was supposed suppo sed to be on on this planet, there was something inside me that went, “You are supposed to be a mother. You are born so that you can continue the human race.” That’s part of being here. And it was that driver for me that meant I literally came home from that relationship weekend in Austria. I cut all ties to the men in my life that were not serving me. And the universe, I’m sure you will know, the universe loves a vacuum. And so, I created a massive vacuum in my life for the right man. I then did all the incantations and visualizations and all that around him and I did that until he walked through the door. I mean it was that simple but it’s such a hard mindset because the society is saying, as a woman, you should be able to do everything. Most women at some point in their life have been hurt by men. And so, their own defenses come up. Their own, http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
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“OK, I want to take care of myself because I know that I’m control and that means I’m OK.”
Melanie: In fact, I was going to say … Joanna: Because for women, our place needs the security. Sorry. Melanie: No, it’s OK. You’ve just said what I was going to say because I was going to say that in the mind of some women, it’s a very high price to pay to allow a man to be a man. Joanna: Yes. Melanie: Yeah. Joanna: And that’s why because in order to allow a man to be a man, we have to trust them with our highest need which is that of security. You give a woman any level of insecure – I mean if you think about these two scen sc enar ario ios, s, a man man find finds s you up and and he say says, “Oh, “Oh, shou should ld we go out out tonight?” And he’s all dithery – he’s kind of dithery and going, “Oh, we could go here. We could go there. What about this? What do you think? And da, da, da.” And you don’t – you’re not attracted to that energy. But a man who finds up and says to you, “Can you put your best frock on. Be ready at half past 7. I’m picking you up. We’re going out.” You don’t go, “Oh, don’t you boss me around. Oh, bloody hell no. God, I can’t stand people who do that.” You actually go, “Yeah, Brilliant. I love it. Thank you. I know what to do. I know when to be ready. I know the important information here. Best frock. Be ready at half past 7. I will be.” And you are excited about it. And it gives you butterflies and it makes you like a little child again. And remember, being a child is not a bad thing. It’s a wonderful thing. We should all be more child-like. Enjoy life. It’s here to live. It’s here to have fun with.
Beryl: So femininity can be light. It can be fun. It can be yeah, I can see your reaction there. Joanna: Well, it is.
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Beryl: Yeah. Joanna: I mean it is. Beryl: It can be safe. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say really. It can be a safe place. Joanna: And for all those women out there who are going, “There are no men in my life I can trust.” I don’t believe you because you will have male friends. You will have males in your family. There will be somebody that actually you trust who is a man. But because you don’t think of them in a sexual way, you don’t lump him in that category of relationship and blah, blah, blah. But once you get used to trusting a man, then the men who are worthy of trust will come. Melanie: So, in the working scenario and of course, how you do one thing is how you do everything, I expect in the working scenario, you won’t necessarily get a woman saying to you, “I don’t trust men.” They will be bent bent on try trying ing to achi achiev eve e succ succes ess s by the the old old meth method ods s they they’v ’ve e been been brainwashed into. Now, how do you make the breakthrough there? Joanna: I think for most women, certainly the ones that I work with, the reason they come to me is because they realized they can’t do it all themselves. And that is then when they need to trust on somebody else with with it. it. When When you see, see, espec especia ially lly with with wome women n in busin busines ess, s, wome women n in busine business ss who who are are busy busy doing doing every everyth thin ing g in thei theirr busin busines ess, s, they they’r ’re e not working on their business. And that’s because they’re terrified that if they ask somebody else to do that tiny little bit, they won’t do it as well as, “I can do it myself. So I’m not going to give it away. I’m going to do it which means I’m going to do the accounting and I’m going to do the marketing and I’m going to do the admin and I’m going to pick up the phone and I’m going to do all my coaching and, and, and, and.” We give ourselves this massive to-do list and then we beat ourselves up at the end of the day because we didn’t get any done. And those women finally go, “I can’t carry on like this.” And there are women who come to me and go, “Apparently, you say can do it another way.” And I go, “Yeah, you can.” It’s much easier and it is a lovely way to do it but involves involves the T word http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
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and the T word for most women is the one that scares them the most. Trust. But we trust the universe universe every day. We trust the universe universe to still be supporting our life. That’s a big trust but we don’t even think about it. We trust the water company to supply us with water. We trust – there is trust going on at all times of your life. But when you’re not looking for it and you don’t recognize it, you can easily say, “I just don’t trust.”
Melanie: So I suppose borrowing some NLP terms, where you need to be going with these women is keeping them focus on what it is they really want to create because that is indeed what they’ll start drawing to them. Joanna: Yes. Melanie: Rather than be focused on – because if you’re coming from a point of view of not trusting, by implication, you’re dragging with you some negative expectations and of course, what you pay attention to is what you’re going to draw into your environment. Joanna: Exactly that. I mean as we know with NLP that it is all about where you’re putting your expectations, what you’re expecting to happen is pretty much always what will going to happen. I have always been an absolutely fantastic manifestor but for a good – well, a good portion of my life, I only manifested absolute rubbish because that’s where all my focus went. I was just green [0:25:18] [Phonetic] at it. I could – and part of that, I manifested the end of our relationship because for three days, well, things weren’t going well. All I could I think of was he’s going to leave me. That was it. Three whole days, three whole days of energy going to he’s going to leave me. And at the end third day …
Melanie: Not realizing you were creating it. Joanna: … he said, “I’m going to leave.” I went, “I knew that was going to happen.” I was right. It’s almost like, “Yeah, clever me, clever me.” And I’ve done done it with with exam exams. s. I’ve I’ve done done it with ith rela relati tion onsh ship ips. s. I’ve I’ve done done it with ith businesses. I did a business that I basically then went, “Well, it’s not – it will never actually work. I’m going to try at this business but it’s never actually
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going to work. And I’m going to do this but that will never work.” And oddly enough, two years later, I had no business. But then NLP taught me that this was a good thing because it meant that actually I have great powers of manifestation. And since then, I’ve been able able to mani manife fest st some some incr incred edib ible le thin things gs in my life life and and very very quic quickl kly y sometimes as well. Brendan was manifested in three months. We joke about the fact that if ever I kind of have that, “Oh God! You drive me mad.” He goes, “Yeah, but you manifested me this way.” Thanks.
Melanie: So, the women that you actually worked with and coached, what kind of shifts have they been reporting to you in terms of just how they’ve turned around generally? generally? Because Because if you’ve you’ve coached them in terms of their work and being more feminine on the stage, they’re going to be noticing even more than that. So I’m wondering in terms of work, what kind of results they’re telling you which far exceed what you both were working on? Joanna: Yeah. I think the one thing that is just – is always – I don’t do relationship stuff because that isn’t where I – even though it’s still feminine energy things, my passion is for women on stage and helping women to discover their feminine stage. And all of them come back and go, “My husband is loving you. My husband thinks you are the best thing since [0:27:54] [Indiscernible] because you’re exactly right.” It’s important that what they do is obviously they live it. They don’t just do this on stage. But they actually live this way of being. And so suddenly, suddenl y, their man is stepping up and their man is becoming more masculine. masculine. And when you have more masculine masculine man around you, it makes it easy to be even more in your feminine. So, it’s kind of – it’s a beautiful cycle that helps women be even more in their feminine because men are stepping up around them. They end up being more masculine around them. So suddenly, the men are feeling empowered again and they are feeling like they have a job to do. If you talk to men these days they say, “Oh, I don’t know how to please my woman because she’s so busy doing it all herself. herself. I can’t do anything without her sucking at me going, “What the hell do you think you do? You think I can’t do it by myself? Of course, I can do it.” It’s like I want to take care of this woman. I want to love her and I want to show her how much she means to me but she’s not allowing me to do that.” http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
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And so suddenly, these women are letting go, trusting, and they’re doing some surrender and that’s very good for the bedroom. And all those things – that’s true. And so suddenly, their relationship is blossoming but it’s a side effect.
Melanie: Yeah. I tell you what is alarming about – as you described this and you’re so right. We’re starting to take it for granted that we have to be like men and be seen to be independent and I’m not knocking independence but it is in a distorted way. But the alarming this is that if we continue like this and don’t own our femininity and mothers, and we have male children, we’ll we’ll be rearing emasculated emasculated men of the future by being this way. Yes, it’s it’s very very interes interestin ting g becaus because e we have have general generally ly two two role role Joanna: Yes, models as we’re growing up obviously and it should be a man and a woman in terms of the energy. And that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with same sex relationships because my sister is gay and she and her partner or her wife now, are in such good compatibility that it’s like they each take a turn at being in the masculine energy. Because masculine is in us. It’s not supposed to be never used. I’m I’m not not say saying, ing, you sit sit arou around nd like like some some pamp pamper ered ed prin prince cess ss doin doing g absolutely nothing and just, “Oh, look at me. I’m so lovely la, la, la, la.” That isn’t being feminine either. There is a strength to us and there are times that we absolutely need to step into our masculine in order to get things done because women, we’re about the journey and we’re about getting to the destination. If we didn’t ever used masculine, we’d never actually get there. We’d just be too much enjoying what’s going on around us. We don’t actually get anything focused and done. So, there are absolutely times we need to use our masculine energy. And my sister and her partner wonderfully do this kind of – when they need to, one of them steps into the masculine and gets it done and then it means that there is harmony. There is the attraction. There are all those things. Otherwise, they wouldn’t [0:31:23] [Inaudible] . So anywa anyway, y, back back to when when you’ you’re re growi growing ng up, there there’s ’s a masc mascul uline ine and feminine – there should be masculine and feminine energy role model. Well, if you’re mom is busy being masculine, guess what happens to your http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
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dad? When he’s there, he has to be feminine. And as a man, exactly as you’re saying, saying, as a boy, you look up to your father as a way of leading you to be a man in the future and all that happens is they become a complete bloody wimps. And through no fault of anybody’s because we do this by modeling. It’s all about modeling. And that’s actually what kind of I believe what’s happened during the times when we decide, women went to work. And of course, that’s a great thing. And of course, if that’s people’s people’s choices, it’s excellent. But we only have men in the roles to model. We didn’t have feminine women in the roles to model so we modeled what was there. So in our jobs, we became masculine because that’s the only role model around us. And then when we got used to it, the thing about being in masculine when you’re in it, is it makes you feel very secure because it’s a masculine energy. So you go, “Oh, I like this energy. This makes me feel secure.” And then you take it home and you forget to leave it at the door and go, “Actually, that’s my work energy. I want to be a feminine wife, a feminine mother.” You walk in the door going, “Look at me, I’m all driven and focused and I’m being a man. You say a wrong word to me and I’ll snap your head off.” And all those kinds of things. And the guy goes, “What the hell? Where do I fit in?” And in order to not n ot be at look ahead and be constantly, constantly con stantly battling ba ttling because I you’re both masculine then that’s what happens. It’s competition. It’s like two stags rutting the whole time. That’s not a nice relationship to be in. So somebody has to come down. Somebody has to move towards feminine. feminine. And if the woman is a really strong strong woman, it will not going to be her so the guy does it. So I mean, a case in point, a very, very gorgeous friend friend of mine said to me when he met Brandon, he kind of took me aside and said, “This is almost the first man in your life I’ve ever met that I haven’t thought might be gay.” Because all the others have no other choice. In order to be in a relationship with me, you have to be the feminine one because I certainly wasn’t given that.
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So it is about that. It’s about allowing men to reclaim, allowing them to step up and not feel like they’re they’re going to be snapped out because they’ve they’ve given up their seat on the train for a woman. Women these days, “Oh no sir, I’m fine.” And stand up. What the hell? “I’m going to sit down. Thank you very much much.” .” Offe Offerr your our seat seat,, I’m I’m more more than than happ happy y. It’s It’s fine fine.. But But it’s it’s like like somehow, “I don’t want to be seen to be weak.” It’s this vulnerability thing. Wome Women n – one one of our our gorg gorgeo eous us ener energi gies es in femi femini nine ne is vuln vulner erab abil ilit ity. y. Vulnerability for most people, they absolutely see as you being weak. But that isn’t what vulnerable means. It means being allowing, you’re allowing other people in. You’re allowing other people to see the real you. That’s vulnerability. That’s not weakness. That’s incredibly strong. We know that when people tell the story, Oh my God! Andy Murray, bless him. Lovely guy clearly. When he was through to the finals, the interview with him, he was stony-faced. He was, oh yes, brilliant for everybody but there was no emotion. There was nothing. He wasn’t showing anything. Then after he lost the finals at Wimbledon and he cried. Oh my God! What did we do? Do we all go, “Oh, what a pathetic man! How completely weak and useless is he? “No, all of us connected heart to heart with him. He’s showing his truth. He’s showing how vulnerable he was at that moment. And it was beautiful. And that’s what true vulnerability is. No one is going to turn around and go, “Oh my God! How pathetic are you?” They’re actually going, “That’s beautiful. You’re sharing something that’s innermost and truthful. And that’s actually what we want.”
Beryl: So, this is amazing, Jo. What I’m hearing is and it’s very emotional to listen to this, is – let’s come to your work for a moment. I mean you’ve touched on it. It just feels like you’re spearheading this because I haven’t had a lot of people doing this kind of work. You’re You’re really spearheading this. this. And as you said at the beginning of the interview, it seemed like it’s the right time. Energetically, it’s the right time. Joanna: Definitely. Beryl: So, can you just be a bit more specific about your work? You touc touche hed d on work workin ing g with with wome women n on the the stage stage.. Would Would you you just just like like to expound on that?
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Joanna: Yeah. What I do is there are more and more women now who are following their passion and that’s again, a very feminine thing to do is that instead of going to a normal, normal work, what we actually do is we follow our passion. So we might create a business of well, it can’t be anything. It might be a business about beauty or nails or it might be about hair or it might be about energy. It might be about HR. I mean literally, anything, anything, anything, anything and everything that we’re passionate about. We will put so much energy in. And as you know, one o ne of the best ways to reach a large audience is to be on the stage. It’s to actually have an event or be on somebody else, at somebody else’s event where you’re on stage and then able to show your message with lots and lots of people. Now, I found over the years that most of the women who were on the stage at the moment and certainly when I started this which for me, I started noticing this probably five years ago, five or so years ago, was that most of the women on stage, as soon as they are on the stage, even if there are people on stage, would stand on stage and then take this masculine stance and go all authority and go all driven and kind of starey and scary on stage.
Melanie: Why did they do that? Beryl: We’ve seen some of those. Joanna: Exactly. And I went, “Oh, why can’t we be feminine on the stage?” But one of the problems is that most of the teachers teachers out there are teaching teaching the speaker stance or teaching the way of getting into your energy and be in your passion. But it’s all very masculine-driven way of speaking. And there aren’t many women who are being coached around how to stay on your feminine on stage because you’re not supposed to show weakness on stage, you’re not supposed to – I was going to say, you kind of do things on tap. There are moments that you are allowed to be emotional. Does that make sense? I don’t mean it’s scripted scripted as in you literally, literally, right here you cry kind of thing. But at this point in the whole thing, you’re allowed to be emotional.
Beryl: OK.
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Joanna: But the rest of the time, you’ve got to be authority and you’ve got to be knowing your stuff and all that kind of stuff. And I just teach women how to let all that go and how to be a lot of more trusting and how to be open and vulnerable on stage pretty much the whole time so that you can connect with your audience because if you do a heart to heart connection and you yourself are connected to your souls which is your passion, the flow through is so powerful that the people you are connecting with really get your message. Now, if that’s your aim which of course it is that we want people to get our mess messag age e then then it’s it’s abou aboutt stan standi ding ng on stag stage e and and allo allow wing ing this this flow flow to happen. And so, that’s what I do. I take women who are going to an event and I coach them around how to get connected to their energy if they’ve got – I mean some of them are feminine already but some of them aren’t but how to also stay there. One of the things especially if it’s their event because one of the things about doing your own event is that there’s lots of logistics. Logistics are very masculine, the making sure this is the right place at the right time and the AV is right and the hotel knows what to do, and people know where to go, and where the toilets are, and where to put their coats and it’s all very, very – it’s just logistics. And logistics is not feminine. It’s not at all feminine. It’s easy to do and it can be done and it can be done in a masculine way to be efficient and get it done and out of the way but if you’re a woman on stage and you’re worrying about any of that stuff, you’re not staying in your flow, you’re not staying in your feminine. So I help women to let go of all that stuff, to outsource, to do a lot of asking for help. It’s a very important thing to do. And to let go of the idea that, “I have to be superwoman,” and just start being a superwoman and allowing yourself to be truly feminine and truly in touch with your souls. And so, that’s for stages. I do a kind of exercise through swinging the pendulum. So we do a bit of swinging the pendulum all the way through masculine and swinging all the way through 100% feminine so that you get to really feel what that energy is like so you can recognize it. So you know firstly where you settle because no one is a 100% feminine and no one is a 100% masculine but we should be as women settling somewhere on the feminine scale and men should be somewhere on the masculine scale. It’s kind of that way. http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
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And so, when you just find out where you settle and what that feels like and how that feels energetically to you, you know you can stay there. You can recognize it and of course, most importantly, recognize when you move away from it. So when you go into fear, you’re going to masculine because fearful women women need that sense of security and that’s where where you go, you go and dip into your masculine to get it. So it’s about being fearful and then trusting that someone else will do it allows you to stay in your feminine.
Beryl: And the women that you work with, what is the process? Do you start a little bit before? I imagine you start a little bit before the event. How does it quite work, Jo? Joanna: It depends on the woman I’m working with. There is a set kind of way of doing it. I usually work with them for six months though. So you’re right, always start before the event because obviously, the event is the culmination of that. But often it’s like four month before, two months after or sometimes it’s three months before, three months after. So that there is some follow through as well because it’s about the total package not just the event. So although the event is very important part of it, it’s not – that’s not the be all and end all. It’s not once your event happened then you’re done kind of thing. So we do, do some and some. And I start with working with them on their vision for the event. We do lots of meditations, lots of visualization. We do lots of the swing of the pendulum exercise and that can be anything from just a day in it or it can be a whole week. I can get you to just swing your pendulum for a whole week which is really quite fun and very interesting for those around you as they watch you do it. So all those kind of things are fun. And also, the actual planning so we get down to the nitty-gritty of where your event is at and how you want it to look in terms of the AV and how you want your people to be taken care of whilst you’re there and all those kinds of things. So we do, do an event package if you like in terms of creating your amazing event. I don’t do the marketing because that’s not my side of things so you either do the marketing yourself or you get somebody else who is a marketing
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expert to do your marketing for you to get the people there. But I’ll help you create the energy of the event. So when they walk in through the door, the energy that they’re feeling even before you’re on stage is already your message. And I think that’s a big difference with these days you go into conference, they do exactly the same except maybe there might be a banner that’s different. But other than that, they all feel the same and then you walk in and then it’s only when somebody is on stage that you start connecting with that energy. But I think as soon as you walk through the door, that’s where the energy should begin.
Melanie: You would feel it. Beryl: Incredible. It feels like and I say it feels because it does really feel like this in me that when I listen to you, that working with you in that way would create a really lovely synergy that male-female balance where your mentee, your client, can be thought to be fully in their feminine because they’re allowing you and your business to support them, to do the male bit. Joanna: Exactly. That’s exactly it. So it’s quite interesting because of that fact that I’m doing the male bit but I’m still being feminine while I’m doing it. But I’m allowing – it’s exactly that. It’s about allowing and it’s about trusting. My stage, what’s the word? I would say anonym but that’s not the right word. It’s an S-T-A-G-E thing. What does that mean? I’m showing my ignorance. Never mind. Beryl: We don’t know either so that’s OK. Joanna: S for surrender, T is for trust, A is for allowing, G is for grace, and E is for energy. And that’s your feminine stage and if you can just get into all all of thos those e thin things gs whils hilstt you’r ou’re e on stag stage e then hen act actuall ually y, it all all flow lows beautifully. Beryl: And people must feel fantastic on the stage. Joanna: Mnemonic [0:46:37] [Phonetic]. that’s ’s it, it, yeah. eah. You must must feel feel fant fantas asti tic c and and real really ly Beryl: Beryl: Mnemon Mnemonic ic, that authentic. And actually, I would imagine that’s going to the business side http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
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because that’s what they’re there to do. I imagine that the universe would as come as the sales go somewhat better and some rapport-building I imagine would be going on with the audience.
Joanna: Exactly. I mean because of the fact that when they first walk in thro throug ugh h the the door door,, the the ener energy gy is alre alread ady y there here.. So they hey’re ’re alre alread ady y connecting with the energy of your message. And then once you’re on stag stage, e, your our mess messag age e is comi coming ng even even stro strong nger er and and beca becaus use e you’r ou’re e connecting to your souls and you’re connecting heart to heart with them, it literally is a flow of consciousness, a flow of energy which means that they totally get your message. Now, if that means that it touches them, if it’s the right message for them, they are going to make a decision to buy. They are going to make a decision to step up and do more with you. That’s what it’s about. So ultimately, you’re going to get more sales when you’re being like this on stage. And even if the sale doesn’t happen in the room because exactly like you said, the rapport and the connection is so much stronger than it would normally be, those people want to continue having a relationship with you. So it might be that they carry on dipping in and out of your website or it might be that they check your blogs or whatever it might be, but they stay in connection with you. And over time, we find that sales go up as well. So that’s good.
Beryl: You are in an incredible niche there, Jo. And I’m fascinated to see where here this this migh mightt go with ith you. ou. We’l We’lll stay stay in touc touch h of cour course se.. And And it’s it’s fascinating. If you’ve got any inkling of where this might go, any inking at all or are you just open to where …? Joanna: Yeah, exactly. I guess I’m in the question as we say. So just happy for it to go wherever it needs to go. And I’m doing a lot of trusting that the universe is providing me with the clients that I need to work with, clients are popping out that are quite, well, I think are quite big names in the industry or personal development and they’re coming to me and saying, ‘I’ve heard that you do this and I’d like to work with you.” So over the next couple of years, I guess I’m going to be working with bigger and bigger names which is very exciting for me because I get to
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really discover the truth about femininity because I know that I’ve only scratched the surface or at least it feels like that. I know so much but I also know there’s such a depth to it that I’m excited because I think every single feminine is different. I don’t think anyone – we’re all unique in our own femininity that’s why I do the pendulum swing because it allows women to find their where their feminine lies rather than saying, “In order to be feminine, this is what you have to do,” because that’s not the truth either. It’s about discovering your femininity. It’s where is it for you? How does it work for you? And the ease that flows when you are in your feminine truth is just so amazing. You know instantly when you hit it. You just know because suddenly instead of feeling like everything is hard work and you’re striving and you’re working all the time to get things done, suddenly, it’s flowing to you rather than you going out to find it.
Beryl: I think Jo, with you, it’s a case of watch this space. I’m kind of being fascinated at seeing where you go with this. And I do hope that you’ll come back and share more with us as all of this evolves, Jo. I really do because I know people are going to be fascinated. Joanna: I would love to, yeah. I’m more than happy to. Beryl: Go on, Mel. Melanie: I just wanted to add, I suppose a final question in there because one thing I can certainly say about this conversation is it would have been a wakeu akeup p call all for for quit quite e a numb number er of list listen ener ers s abou aboutt how how they they’v ’ve e been been neglecting their feminine side. And bearing in mind the thrust of the show, we are about being wired for success and remembering that that wiring is there. It just needs to be recognized. recognized. What would be one first or small step that one could start taking to rebalance these energies? Joanna: I think certainly the first one that I did and certainly it’s the one that I kind of sometimes remember that I’ve forgotten, if that makes sense and therefore go back to, is the idea of either meditation or incantation. It depends on the type of person. Some people like to meditate. They like to be still and allow things to kind of happen. And other people like to incant
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which is you create the vision that you want and then you just say it over and over again. For me, I’m very much an incant person and I love walking the dog in the morning and then just saying my incantation incantation over and over again, a couple of hundred times. And just allowing it to happen because the biggest thing around all of this visualization and incantation and knowing what you want, you have to be OK with not getting it. You have to be able to let go of the idea that that’s the only possible outcome outcome because because that’s the thing that the universe doesn’t like. It doesn’t like people who are holding on to their visions so tightly that there’s no deviation possible.
Melanie: No wiggle room. Joanna: Yeah, there’s no wiggle room, exactly that. So it’s about – I think for most of the people who are going to be watching this, men and women alike, are probably very much – they know what they want in their life already. They’ve got to that stage where they’ve got their vision. They’ve got their board on the wall or whatever it might be, their way of creating their reality. And for some people, it’s then they just keep holding it. It’s like this is how it’s going to be if it’s not exactly like this. So it’s that letting it go that things flow. Beryl: I think we do ourselves a disservice, don’t we if we think it can only come packaged in one way. Joanna: Exactly. Beryl: It’s a very limiting tunnel vision kind of thing. And when we actually let go of that and for myself, when I thought there was only one way I could create a business, I close myself down to lots of other things. When I was really forced to wrench my head out of the sand, goodness me, there’s a whole another world out there. Joanna: Yes, it’s exactly that. It is about just seeing, yeah. Sorry, Mel. irrelevant. I was only going to comment comment Melanie: Yeah. No, no, no, no, it’s irrelevant. on what Beryl was saying because having forced to head out of the sand, the thing we need to be aware of is that it can suddenly feel scary to have all this choice which is actually what you need. http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
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Beryl: Yeah. And actually, going back to your point, Jo, about … Melanie: So, was there something … Beryl: I was just going to say to Jo, when you were talking earlier about how women can start this process, the small step, what occurred to me was and whenever you create some kind of change of which you are frightened, frightened, you can go through a period, can’t you that I would describe describe as very wobbly. But I’ve learned that that’s not the time to run back to where I was. Do you want to talk about a little bit about that? It’s just like keep going and you get through it. Joanna: Yes. I mean I think for me, I call it my testing … Beryl: What do you call it? Say it again? Your … Joanna: My testing time. It’s when the universe comes and prods in the center of your chest and goes, “Yeah, but do you really want that? Do you really want that?” And it gives you – sometimes it can be just – it gives you an overwhelm of other possibilities to choose from. Sometimes it can be that it makes it so hard to move forward that you think it can’t possibly be the right way. But there is something about standing in your truth and going, “But I know in my heart, this is what I need to be doing. I know in my heart, this is the right thing to be doing.” And then the universe actually goes, “All right then, I’ll give you a hand rather than stand in your way.” And suddenly, it’s like you have the wind at your back. And then you just get blown away. It’s just that little bit of time where the universe is just going, “But how serious are you? Do you really, really want to do this?” And it’s prodding you in the middle of your chest and, “Really? Are you sure? Are you sure? OK then.” And then it gives you that lovely lift. And yeah, you just have to stand strong and that’s a great time of trust because you just have to trust yourself which we haven’t touched upon that lovely little demon. We say that women are all these independent, “I’m goin going g to be – do ever every ythin thing. g.”” But But it’s it’s almo almost st like like we also also don’ don’tt trus trustt ourselves to do it either. So yeah, it would be very interesting.
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feel alrea already dy this this surge surge of femi femini nine ne energy energy that that’s ’s going going to be Beryl: I feel unstop unstoppabl pable e tsunami tsunami of femini feminine ne energie energies s emanati emanating ng from what what you’re you’re doing, Jo. You’re going to create this consciousness across the world. The world needs to be ready I think for something very exciting.
Joanna: I mean I think this is definitely the age for it. You touched upon it earlier, the idea that everything is shifting and we know now that the way that – the masculine way of doing business which has been to exchange money for nothing for a very long time. It’s gone. That’s why the financial institutions have collapsed the way they have. So it’s very much now about the new age that Dalai Lama said himself that the world will be healed by the Western women. And this is what he means that the Western women will reconnect with their feminine and because of that, allow men to step up and be more masculine again. And because of that, we will rebalance the energies of the world. That’s what I truly think he’s saying. Everyone kind of talks about it in business ways but I think he means heal the world. He means that the problems with whatever it might be, the global warming and all those things. And I’m not saying for a second that it means we shou should ldn’ n’tt care care for for our our plan planet et.. But But I thin think k when when we’re e’re in our our true true energies, energies, it’s part of what we do. We’re going to exploit. exploit. We’re not going to trust the planet anymore because of the fact that it isn’t a truth for our true energy. So it’s like almost it’s as simple as let’s all refined what our truthful energy is and suddenly, we’re going to heal the world. And I just think that’s beautiful.
Beryl: I heard something yesterday that in America, more people work for cooperatives now than they do for corporations. And that to me feels like coop cooper erat ativ ives es were were a femi femini nine ne ener energy gy as oppo oppose sed d to the the masc mascul ulin ine e corporations. So it’s happening. Joanna: That’s right, it is. Beryl: I’m mindful of your time, Jo. We’ve had some fantastic extraordinary, inspiring information and just so all inspiring. So, we would
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like to give you a very big thank you. And would like to share with people how they can find you? How they can connect with you, Jo?
Joanna: Yes. I am on – and you asked me to prepare this and of course, I have. I’m on Facebook and I’m on Twitter. Both of them are McCormick and I think in both cases, I’m a JJMcCormi rmick but I might be a JoannaMcCormick so have a little look around. I’ve got pictures. You’ll find me. I’m a true believer that you’ll find me if you’re meant to. But yes, connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. I’m much more exciting on Facebook because I do a lot more there. But now and again, I do tweet but it’s the old thing rather than lots. So Facebook is for me. You’re better off there. Beryl: OK. And we’d like to encourage encourage people to come back and comment on this episode. And there will be a little box underneath. And would you be kind enough to come back and take a look at those comments every now and then, Jo, and just share your thoughts? Joanna: Absolutely. Beryl: Fantastic. Joanna: Absolutely. More than happy. Beryl: Well, this has been wonderful. And Mel, is there anything anything that you’d like to … Melanie: Well, Well, I’d I’d just just like like to rein reinfo forc rce e Bery Beryl’s l’s comm comment ents s that that we’v we’ve e absolutely enjoyed this. We know our viewers will too. I mean I felt like we were making some kind of a heart connection so you’re living what you’re talking about. And of course, as Beryl said, it would be great for you to from time to time answer the viewers as we’re going to encourage them all to make comments on the episodes. If you’re watching this on any kind of social media, then please feel free to share it with all of your friends. We’re Wired for Success TV at Facebook and on Twitter. https://www.facebook.com/WiredForSuccesstv
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https://twitter.com/WiredSuccessTV Lastly, wherever you’re listening to this episode from, if you haven’t done so already, please just shoot over to our main site http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv and and join join our our new newslet slette terr for for upda update tes s and and content by adding your name and email. If you head over there, there will be a transcript of this episode too. We reply to all comments and suggestions and we would love to hear from you. So thank you for tuning in. Remember to tune in for the next episode of Wired for Success where we help you to master the seven areas of life. So from me Beryl and my co-host Melanie and from our interviewee interviewee Jo we bid you farewell and next time. So, if you would like to say good-bye.
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All the material contained in this transcript is provided for educational and informational purposes only. No responsibility can be taken for any results or outcomes resulting from the use of this material. Whilst every attempt has been made to provide information that is both accurate and effective, the authors do not assume any responsibility for the accuracy or use/misuse of this information.
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