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Wired for Success TV
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Mastering the 7 Areas of Life
www.wiredforsuccess.tv Presented by Melanie Gabriel & Beryl Thomas
[Episode 38] 38] Removing the REAL Inner Barriers to your Success with Tom Stone
Removing the REAL Inner Barriers to your Success with Tom Stone [Episode 38] Wired For Success [0:00:12] Welcome everyone to another episode of Melanie: http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv.. Toda http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv Today y, my co-h co-hos ost, t, Bery Beryl, l, and and I will ill be interviewing Tom Stone. Tom is a man of many talents and skills and has been called a genius by Tom Leonard of CoachVille who is in fact the father of coaching itself. In fact, I’m going to start my introduction of Tom by reading something Jack Canfield, author of Chicken of Chicken Soup for the Soul series, Soul series, had to say about him. Jack says, “Tom Stone has done something quite unique. He has distilled out of his vast experience the simplest and most useful tools for creating profound and lasting change in our lives.” Jack continues, “I’m truly grateful to Tom for his help in my own life and I’m delighted that he’s sharing his insights and techniques to help others on a large scale. I know his desire is very similar to mine, to have a positive impact on the lives of many, many peop people le.. I know know that that thro throug ugh h his his pion pionee eeri ring ng work ork in Huma Human n Soft Softw ware are Engineering, he will accomplish his goal in a profound and powerful way.” Tom Tom is also also an inter internat nation ional ally ly accl acclaim aimed ed speak speaker er,, semi seminar nar pres present enter, er, inventor, entrepreneur and author of numerous books. We will touch on some of those books especially The Power of How and Vaporize Your Anxiety . Today, we want to talk to Tom about his pioneering work in the emerging and and new fiel ield of Human uman Soft Softw ware are Engin nginee eeri ring ng.. Human uman Softw oftwar are e Engi Enginee neeri ring ng is an extr extraor aordi dina nary ry techno technolo logy gy that that now make makes s possi possibl ble e changes in human life that we could only find in science fiction movies in the past. And all these things are now becoming a present day reality. Out of this technology has emerged a series of profound insights into the nature of human conditioning and that has resulted in Tom’s proprietary work, The Core Dynamics of Human Conditioning . This work provides the 2 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
tools for wiping out the blocks that weigh people down, limits their potential and keeps them from having the life they’ve been longing for. You’re going to be really amazed to learn how effectively these tools can transform your life and lead to solutions of seemingly intractable problems that plague modern society such as depression, ADD and ADHD, and posttraumatic stress disorder. And of course, we must not forget to mention that Tom has co-starred in recently released movie, The Keeper of the Keys with Jack Canfield, John Gray and Marci Shimoff. So welcome, Tom.
Tom: Thank you, Mel. It’s great to be here. Thanks for having me on. Melanie: We’re delighted to have here as well. Tom, I thought I’d let you tell your own story because it’s so rich. And we’ve known each other for quite some years now, ten years or more and I’ve seen the evolution of a Human Software Engineering and the Core Dynamics. And of course, they’re going to be foundational to your initiative for emotional competence and emotional mastery which you’re promoting at the moment and we’ll speak about later. So Tom, before we dive in, please tell the viewing public a bit about who you are, your background and in fact, how you’ve come to be where you are now pioneering for an emotionally free-willed.
Tom: Well, thank you Mel. I think one of the really important experiences that I had that was at the bases of getting the insights and really compelled me to find the insights for developing these marvelous new techniques that you’re just mentioning was back in 1993, I had a very bizarre personal experience. So I was living in Iowa, in the middle of the United States, in a small town of about ten thousand people. And one night, it was December 7, 1993 actually, Pearl Harbor Day, I had my own personal Pearl Harbor, a deranged stranger came to my front door, pulled out a .44 caliber handgun and shot me on the chest. And a .44 is a pretty big gun. I mean the bullet is like that big. And it hit me right in the chest and it’s a total miracle that it didn’t kill me. Hunters used these kinds of guns for killing bears and it’s just amazing. The assistant surgeon who attended me after my first surgery, he said, 3 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
“Tom, you’re really quite lucky.” And I said, “Excuse me? I just got shot in the chest. Explain what you mean by lucky.” He said, “If you’re going to get shot on the chest at close range with .44, one in a hundred thousand people would survive it and one in a million would come out with no loss of organs or limbs or anything like you’ve done.” I said, “OK. In that context, I understand what you mean.” But needless to say, I was a bit traumatized by this event. And I was already quite interested in alternative therapies and things of that nature and I knew that the traditional cognitive therapy and the drug therapies were not for me. And so, I went looking for something with which I could truly cure myself of the trauma. I didn’t want to just cope with it and take drugs for the rest of my life or just be constantly compensating in some way. I wanted to find a way to really cure it. And I was extremely fortunate to discover two things. One was a set of very penetrating insights into the nature of human conditioning that you mentioned in my introduction called the Core Dynamics of Human Conditioning. And this set of insights gives us the understanding of why human beings are so lousy at resolving emotional pain, anxiety, and trauma and so forth. But in addition and even more than that, I was extremely fortunate to discover that what we needed to do is to learn how to do the exact opposite of what we’re deeply conditioned to do. What we’re deeply conditioned to do is to go away from where emotional pain is intensely held in the body or to collapse into it and be swept away into the catharsis of depression. And neither of those approaches are very effective. I mean you still keep your emotional pain or trauma or anxiety or whatever it is you have. So, I was able to discover that if we did the opposite, if we got closer to the energy rather than go away from it, if we got really, really close to it which to the 3-year-old in us does not sound like a good idea. But if we got really close, what I discovered was that all of these traumatic energies have a structured, natural energy structure to them that’s very much like a hurricane or tornado. They have this sort of swirly, intense, tight ball or knot-like feeling inside but the structure is like a hurricane and if you get really close to it, bring your awareness closer to it, which is totally counter conditioning, when you get really close, you can find there’s a little opening 4 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
right in the center of the most intense part of the energy and it’s just like the eye of a hurricane. Now, I’ve never been inside the eye of an actual hurricane but I’m told it’s calm in there. But I’ve been inside hundreds of the eye of the hurricane of these traumatic energies that are held in the body and indeed it is calm in there. Once you get inside the eye, you sort of float down the center of this vortex that is the eye of the hurricane and when you come out the bottom, the energy dissipates and moves away from you and then when it’s gone, it’s actually completely gone and that one doesn’t come back. And the reason is that there is a difference between emotional suppression which everybody is really good at that doesn’t work because they just keep the emotion. An emotional completion where you actually complete the incomplete experience of the energy that the body is producing there and the thing is, we want to complete the incomplete experience in a highly efficient and effective way. And that’s what I learned how to do is that by skydiving into this eye of the hurricane of the energy and just feeling down the center, what you’re actually doing is capturing the essence of the experience of the energy that the body is trying to bring you but you’re doing it in a way that’s the least difficult. You’re doing it in a way that it’s the easiest and has the greatest efficacy. So very quickly, really quite relatively easily, you can complete the incomplete experience that the body is holding there and when you’re done, the body gets it that you got every particle of experiential wisdom that you’ve milked from the experience. It doesn’t have to produce anymore and it stops and it’s gone. It’s incredible. And so, I was able to completely cure my own posttraumatic stress with these techniques. No more nightmares. No more flashbacks. No more startled response. All the PTSD symptoms completely resolved. And from that, I was then couldn’t help but start sharing those good results with other people and a whole series of things evolved over time of developing a business and meeting Tom Leonard like you said. He was one of the first breakthroughs in terms of getting the word out to the whole coaching community. And then there have been numerous other people who have picked up on this work. 5 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
And we’ve seen such incredible results all over the world. Working with a Vietnam veteran for example, a fellow named Ernie, who had nightmares every night for 43 years and within one session, we got rid of the trauma and that night, he slept nine hours for the first time in 43 years. There’s a nice clip you can see of him talking about himself. [Movie clip playing] [0:10:16 to 0:10:59] “Fifteen years ago, I was diagnosed with PTSD. But I haven’t been able to sleep like I want to say, normal person, for 40 years, 40 plus years. Nightmares, hypervigilance, any noise, light, something would wake me up and then it’s very difficult to go back to sleep. Again, amazed and enthralled and really interested again and he said, “Well, how would you like to sleep eight hours?” Well, yeah. I slept nine hours that night.”
Tom: And the other kinds of experiences that I’ve been having with people all over the world, I have been teaching seminars, training people in emotional competence in New Zealand, in the United States, now all over Europe. I’m in Switzerland at the moment. I’m giving seminars throughout the German-speaking countries as well as the Netherlands and even Slovenia, lots of places. And I’ve seen such incredible results with these techniques just universally, everywhere in the world. It doesn’t seem to matter what culture or language, people all have the same challenges. And the results are so phenomenal that I’ve been inspired to launch a global campaign for emotional competence which you were mentioning at the beginning. And so, that’s what I’m basically doing now is spreading the word and training people to upgrade their emotional competence and be able to really resolve their emotions rather than continuing to just be the victims of them.
Melanie: So can you tell us a little bit, now you mentioned this campaign, a little bit more about the campaign and how you’re setting this up because I mean this whole thing to people who have not known about this, they must find it as fantastic as I did ten years ago and it hadn’t even evolved into this state yet. How is that campaign being made accessible to people? How is it being set up? 6 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
Tom: Right. What we’re doing is I’ve been giving workshops and seminars on emotional competence, emotional mastery depending on the culture and the particular way we’re doing it, one of them we call Free to Succeed , which basically means being able to access and resolve the kind of emotions that caused you to not think straight and make a decision so you don’t succeed in your life so well. So cleaning those out. Emotional Mastery is what we call the seminar in the German-speaking world because Free to Succeed doesn’t translate well into German. And so we teach these seminars in various parts of the world. I am teaching them. But then I’m also training teachers of the seminars. And what I’m finding is that very large number of people at the seminar has become interested in becoming a teacher of the seminar. So we’re training the planets to train thousands of teachers and have seminars for training people in becoming emotionally competent available everywhere on the planet eventually. I have an invitation from the leading coach trainer in China. He’s got the largest ICF-certified coach training company in China and he wants to be my ambassador for China and partner with me to get China emotionally competent too. So, we’re really doing this all over the world. It’s a very exciting prospect because really, emotional incompetence is very clear that this is really the root of pretty much all the major problems we have in society. Crime is the extreme outbursting of inability to deal with one’s emotions. Somebody is feeling so desperate that they have to do something like commit a crime because they don’t know how to resolve their feelings of frustration or disappointment or anger or whatever it happens to be. Addictions are all forms of attempting to self-medicate to not feel the emotional pain because people don’t know how to resolve it. A whole host of health problems are either caused or complicated by unresolved emotional energies. I’ve read on one website the other day, 80 percent this guy was estimating, 80 or 85 percent he was estimating of diseases caused by emotional problems. So it’s really clear that emotional incompetence is really at the bases of many of society’s worst problems and quite frankly, really at the bases of pretty much all of our own personal problems as well. 7 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
Beryl: Yes. So are you saying Tom, that there are many people who sadly are written off because there doesn’t seem to be anything that can really help them. So I’m thinking about people who have been labeled with things like borderline personality disorder which leads to all kinds of difficulties for them in society. I’m thinking of people who are alcoholics who just go back to alcohol time and time and again. Reading your fabulous book, Vaporize Your Anxiety , I understand that a lot of these problems come from childhood and you called it arrested development. Would you just like to expound on that, Tom? Tom: Yeah. Actually, I don’t tend to really use the psychological terms like arrested development but it’s not a bad term that at the bases, at the essence of people’s emotional incompetence which is pretty universal, is essentially one very simple form of pre-verbal conditioning. Before we even develop language, we all have experiences of being emotionally overwhelmed. Everybody. It’s like – and it doesn’t matter what kind of household you grow up in, what kind of nanny or even in the best of households, people can get emotionally overwhelmed. It’s just part of being human. And I’ve yet to meet anybody who likes it. I found that we hate it so much that we make a decision and it’s interesting that we make this decision even before we’ve developed language and that it’s a decision to kind of put a lid on accessing our natural capacity to feel just in an attempt to not get overwhelmed because we had the experience of being overwhelmed so much. So we rapidly develop a deep form of conditioning, of feeling of voidance. I call it the core dynamic of resisting feeling things fully. And so, this is a setup for becoming really lousy at resolving anxiety, trauma, emotional pain, disappointment, frustration, anger, anything. I mean people go into these reactive emotions like frustration and anger and disappointment and anxiety and they think that this is just normal like this is just normal functioning just because it’s just common place and people don’t have any other frame of reference so they think it’s normal. Now, it’s a common place but it’s absolutely subnormal. I call all these kinds of emotions not useful emotions. I make the distinction between useful and not useful emotions, a much better distinction than good or bad or positive or negative. Useful emotions, we think of things like love, joy, 8 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
happiness, and so forth. But even fear can be useful under certain circumstances. If a train is coming and we’re on the railroad tracks, thank God the body has the innate intelligence to generate energy of fear and motivate us to move. So even things we would normally consider negative can actually be useful emotions. But the not useful emotions are the vast majority of the emotions that people have. People – there are actually two basic categories of not useful emotions. One, our incomplete experiences, these are the traumatic and emotionally painful experiences of the past where something was just too much for us and we couldn’t it process it at the time and so, the body is continuing to produce the energy of that emotion and we’re continuing to try and suppress it and keep from having to experience it and there we are. And we all have a whole database of those, some of them stronger, some of them weaker. The other category is what I call reactive emotions. Reactive emotions are where we’re making up a story about something and then having an emotion to the story we’re making up. So for example, if we’re anxious about something, it’s because we’re projecting the possibility of a negative outcome on to the future. It doesn’t have anything to do with this moment. And the book that we held up, Vaporize Your Anxiety Without Drugs or Therapy goes into this in great detail. The problem of projecting possible negative outcomes on to the future is that we’re then having a fear reaction to something that doesn’t even exist. The story we have in mind. But intellectually understanding that we’re having been creating the story we’re making up in our mind doesn’t stop us from doing it because it’s a deeply conditioned way of being. So these are not actually intellectual problems and this is why traditional coaching and therapy are usually very slow and not particularly effective at dealing with these kinds of problems. What’s needed is an experiential answer, an experiential intervention and that’s what the techniques that I’ve developed do is they resolve the experience of the energy of the emotion and when the energy is gone, the emotion is gone. And it does quite quickly and I believe you’ve even experienced it a little bit.
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Beryl: I have. I have to say I’ve been blessed that Melanie has taught me, put me through some of what you do, Tom. And what I would say is it’s very interesting what – I want to pick-up when you say, “We have been conditioned to run away from feeling the feelings.” I am trained as a yoga teacher and I was always taught, the breathing will help you. Well, it can help to pacify you for a little while but it’s like putting a band-aid on it. But with Melanie, I had steeled myself to go deep into the emotion and I didn’t even know what it was, what was making me feel so anxious year after year waking up feeling anxious. And actually, what I discovered is you don’t need to know what the story. So it was probably as you’re saying, the overwhelm that I felt as a child with certain situations and that continued through my adult life and I would not be able to cope with situations and I go into the overwhelm, couldn’t cope with that so I ran in the opposite direction instead of what Melanie forced me to do which was to experience it. And actually, in just a few minutes, you do feel that weird felling of dropping through and actually being – you can’t kind of get hold of any of that old problem because you didn’t know what it was anyway. And the talking, you’re absolutely right, the talking about your problem is so boring year after year. It just really is. And it seems too in a sense make it more your own and give you a label which then seems – it’s just a weird thing. It doesn’t seem to help in any way and yet, these are the traditional tools but this book, let me show it again, because if you suffer any kind of anxiety, anyone who is watching this, get this book at Amazon. Get this book because for many people, it would be life-saving. And let me just touch on what you said about the veteran. It’s very interesting to listen to that clip because I read recently that more soldiers die from their own hand, from suicide than they actually do on the battlefield, Tom.
Tom: Yeah, yeah. The average in the US with the returning vets is unfortunately up to 19 a day and it’s really an atrocity. Yeah. Beryl: OK. There’s so much I could say on this because it made such a difference to me, Tom. I want to bring in something else because I know other therapists will be watching this and I’ve trained in lots of different things. And I want you to share with us why this is different from other 10 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
therapies. So not the talking therapies now, I’m talking about something like an energy therapy like tapping for example.
Tom: Yeah. Beryl: OK? Because tapping, what we learn in tapping is there are different aspects to a problem and you have to chip away all of them, all these different aspects until the problem is like cut off from the root. So could you tell us how what you do is different from that, Tom? Tom: Sure. What I can say to start as an answer to that is that people who have done EFT and EMDR and a whole range of these different kinds of modalities which are good techniques but when they learn how to do the Pure Awareness techniques which is what I call the techniques that I teach, they have a tendency to use them in preference over anything else they’ve been doing because what they find is that they’re much more thorough, much more complete, much simpler, and that they even teach their client to become self-sufficient so that they can do these techniques on their own. So they’re not practitioner-dependent which is very nice once the person has learned them. I have a philosophy of graduating clients, not keeping them. And actually, it’s a great way to get fabulous referrals too. In any case, the theoretical part of why this is so effective, when I was interested in developing these as I was recovering from my own PTSD, I was interested in getting to the very deepest causal level of the problem. And this is what led to gradually, over many years of researching it at a very interesting and effective way it has led to these insights that we call The Core Dynamics of Human Conditioning. And so, it was by virtue of really getting to an understanding, conceptual understanding of what it is that truly causes people to have these problems and have such resistance to getting over them. PTSD is considered pretty much incurable by most of the therapy community. And yet, within a matter of a handful of sessions, these veterans and also crime victims and rape victims that we’re worked with, earthquake victims down in Christchurch in New Zealand that I worked at last year, all the PTSD symptoms, the startled response, nightmares, flashbacks, all these symptoms are going away. Basically, people’s PTSD is going away. 11 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
And so, it’s not really the case that these things are incurable. What’s the case is that the tools that have been being used are not particularly effective. We’re talking about it with talk therapy. The problem with talk therapy is that intellectually understanding why you have the problem that you either did or whatever to when you were little, it’s like that’s interesting and it brings some intellectual relief. But if the unresolved traumatic energy or whatever is still present in you, you still have the problem. He had been in cognitive therapy for 17 years and he still has these nightmares. And in one session, one session, the five traumas that were creating the nightmares were gone and that night, he slept nine hours for the first time in 43 years. So, it’s – this is a new technology and it’s a technology based on the insight of getting to the deepest causal level, true causal level of what is at the bases of people’s problems. So Human Software Engineering is a new technology. It’s a new technology of consciousness and we consider it to be training, not therapy even though it has an incredibly powerful therapeutic effect much more so than many other things that are called therapy. We don’t call it therapy. We call it training and this is because we want people to learn these life skills and have the tools to just stop being the victims of their emotions and start to live an emotionally competent, emotionally masterful life.
Melanie: Tom, is it appropriate at this point because there are going to be people who are listening to this and perhaps be a bit – well, will be amazed by what you’re saying, is it going to be appropriate to perhaps do a demo of it or would it take too long? Tom: I’d be delighted to do that. Melanie: OK. So I’ll let you choose what you think would be appropriate and whether you just want to work sort of generically or work with one of us or I don’t know. Tom: I’ll work with either of you. Melanie: Beryl? 12 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
Tom: If you have a challenge in your life at the moment where you’d like to get a breakthrough. Beryl: Does it work with a physical pain, Tom? Tom: Sometimes. We have a way of testing to see whether it will or not. I have a model in Human Software Engineering called The Levels of Life and there are five levels. And the first one was called Bio-awareness. This is where the problem is caused by trauma or anxiety or something like that. And when that’s the case then we can use these techniques to resolve it. The next level is Bio-energetic. And this is where we have technologies probably like CAT scan, MRI, x-ray, lasers, things like that and so, sometimes problems need an intervention at that kind of level. Things like homeopathy and in Germany, something called bioresonance therapy that these are technologies that work at the Bio-energetic level with electromagnetic fields. The next level is Biochemistry and then Biomechanical for surgery. Biochemistry is obviously diet nutrition supplements. Biomechanical is surgery and chiropractic and exercise. And then Bio-environmental which is the returning influence of our own past actions. This is Newton’s third law of motion, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So at each level, the things that you can do are different. So we can test and see, Beryl, if what – where is your physical pain?
Beryl: I have – it’s all down this left side of my face. Tom: OK. So we have a method of testing for this that we call the Precision Intuition Tool. This is an upgrade, Melanie, of the older one. This actually can be done at a distance like where I’m in Switzerland, you’re in London. It can actually be done at a distance. With your permission, I can do this testing on you. I have? So that’s OK with you. Beryl: Perfect. Tom: OK. And it’s normally called muscle testing. It’s – we’ve taken this concept and refined it and figured out how to make it a method of making one’s intuitive knowing very, very precise. And in fact, I’ve read an ebook 13 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
on it called Developed Precision Intuition. And so, I’ll just test on your behalf from the levels of life this pain that you’re experiencing on the side of your head. This is principally being caused at a Bio-awareness level. This is a strong response so it’s a yes. So if it’s going straight like that, that would be a no. There is some other significant contributing level. No. So this is good. This means we can approach this with the techniques and the likelihood of our getting a result is quite good. OK? So do you feel it now?
Beryl: Yeah. Tom: And do you feel it all the time or most of the time? Beryl: No, it comes and goes. Tom: It comes and goes. And you have this problem for how long? Beryl: Probably about three to four years. Tom: Any injury or anything like that associated with do you remember? Beryl: I think there was. I had a trauma. I think it was from doing too much plow in my yoga a few years ago and I had a lot of swelling around this part of the eye and it was like – my chiropractor said, my trapezius muscle wasn’t strong enough to hold my body and it would damage maybe the trigeminal nerve. Tom: You strained something. Yeah? OK. Good. And so, you can feel it now, yeah? Beryl: I can feel it now. Tom: And if you were to close your eyes, this is easiest done with your eyes closed. The testing that we’re going to use, the CORE technique which is one of the Pure Awareness techniques for seeing if we can deal with this situation, what I’d like you to do is to notice the area of the sensation and notice that there’s a field of energy there. And within the 14 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
field, there is an area within the field where it’s more concentrated or intense than elsewhere, kind of an epicenter or fountain head of where the energy seems to be emanating from. Can you feel that?
Beryl: Yeah, just right there. Tom: Yeah. OK, great. So bring your awareness closer to that. This is the part that’s very much contrary to our conditioning, the exact opposite of what we’re conditioned to do or we’re conditioned to go away from it. But we want to get closer because it’s in fully feeling this in a very efficient way that we’re going to be able to resolve it. So bring your awareness closer and closer to that. This may feel a little odd at first because it will actually increase the intensity of the experience. But notice it’s quite possible that it’s OK to do that. Yeah?
Beryl: And it moves. It’s moving up here now. It’s like jittering. Tom: This is good. Change is good. So wherever it goes, you go there and notice the area where the energy is the most intense and bring your awareness closer and closer to that are where the intensity is the greatest. If you get close enough, you will be able to find, there’s a little opening like the top of an eye of a hurricane. Yeah. Once you find it, dive in to the center of that opening and let yourself just float down the vortex of the eye all the way to the bottom of the energy field. And you’ll find that that’s not difficult. Beryl: It’s very calming. Tom: Exactly. And when you get to the bottom of the vortex or you come out the bottom, the experience will change. It will feel like you’re coming out of the energy field into kind of expansive, spacious quietness. Beryl: It feels like I’m swimming in the sea actually. Tom: That’s it, exactly that. And notice how the energy of the feeling that was there is sort of dissipating and moving away almost like the fog burning off in the morning sun. So when the energy has pretty well dissipated, you can open your eyes. 15 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
OK. Let’s check it out. How’s the sensation in the area?
Beryl: There’s just a little bit of – it’s moved. There’s like a little bit of something but it’s hardly noticeable. Tom: Let’s go to that area and do exactly the same thing. I think you have a little backup copies stored on another part of brain. Beryl: That sounds like me. Tom: Yeah. Let’s go to that area and do exactly the same thing. Do like when you are in Google Maps and click in for a closer view. Beryl: Yeah, that’s moving. It’s moving. It’s trying to get away – it feels like it’s trying to get away from me. Tom: Yeah, you’re faster than it though. Beryl: OK. Tom: OK. It’s settled now. Find the center of intensity again. Click in close. Get close enough that you can find that opening. Dive in and glide down the center to the bottom. Beryl: That was more powerful. Tom: And when you came out of the bottom, do feel that sort of expansive quietness? Nice. Yeah. Beryl: Wow. Tom: Very good, very good. Sometimes, there are layers to this kind of energy or like I said backup copies. So if you scan the whole area now, this whole area. Beryl: It just feels like a tingliness like – not a painful thing but just like a very nervy kind of light tingly feeling. Like something’s changed. Tom: Something is waking up actually. Very good. Any pain left? 16 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
Beryl: No, just this tingliness. Tom: Marvelous. Beryl: Which actually feels quit nice. Tom: We need to do something about the tingliness. No. I think you’re in good shape, dear. Beryl: Thank you, Tom. Tom: Speaking of physical thing, I had a client came once. She was referred by the head of Preventive Medicine at Kaiser Permanente which is a big hospital. It’s actually called an HMO, Health Maintenance Organization. They’re both the insurer and the healthcare provider. And this guy, I’ve met him and he referred this one patient to me with fibromyalgia. And fibromyalgia in this case, the woman had throughout her whole torso and back just constantly in pain. And all the medications, everything didn’t work and she – for several years, the Kaiser had not been really able to do anything for her. The guy who referred her to me, this guy named Dr. Vincent Felitti, he’s one of the co-principal investigators of a study called the ACE Study. It’s a famous study on Adverse Childhood Experiences, that’s the ACE. The concept of this study was to actually quantify how much the unresolved traumas of childhood were contributing to health problems. And what they’ve found is there is an absolute graded correlation between the increase number of categories of traumas, just categories, not even instances, increased number of categories of traumas and the increase in all kinds of both mental and physical health problems so that we now have a massive study with over 17,000 participants that proves beyond a doubt this connection between the unresolved trauma and the health problems. So I’ve met Dr. Felitti because I read an article that he wrote and I went and talked to him about my technology because I said, maybe he’d like to do a research on a promising potential solution to this problem. And of course, he couldn’t resist but take my meaning. And he referred this patient to me with fibromyalgia. I taught her the same technique we just taught to you, it’s called The CORE Technique, which stands for Center of the Remaining 17 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
Energy, which is a perfect description of the technique. It’s a great – I love acronyms and that’s a great one. So I taught her the technique and we resolved a couple of her pains in her body and I then sent her home with the assignment to do this a couple of times a day for 20 minutes and come back in two weeks. She came back in two weeks and she brought her husband. And her husband walked in first. And he walked in and he said, “What have you done with my wife?” And I said, “Oh God!” And he said, “All her pain is gone.” Her wife entered behind him and she said, “It’s true. It is completely gone.” In two weeks, she’d just done the CORE technique and all her fibromyalgia pain completely gone. One session in two weeks I’ve worked on her.
Beryl: OK. This is fantastic and thank you for that experience. I want to ask you about meditation if I may. And this might ruffle some feathers for some viewers and I apologize now. However, I feel like confident to say this because as I told you, I’m trained as a yoga teacher so part of that is meditation. I never felt meditation helped my anxiety. We’re told to sit and meditate for half an hour and that will help my anxiety. Well, when your mind is going off in all directions, it’s just not possible. And I ended up feeling like a bit of a failure somehow that I couldn’t heal myself with this wonderful meditation. And I can see there are many positive things for meditation for many people. Can you talk about because I know you have some views about this, can you talk about this idea that because meditation has been around for so many decades, thousands of years, that that is the magical tool? Can you talk about how perhaps things are changing right now and we’re in a very different place in the world of new energies, literally because we’re all energy, are coming in that we can utilize, can talk about that, Tom?
Tom: Well, it’s interesting you should ask it in this way because I do have some unique qualification for being able to talk about this. When I was 19, I started transcendental meditation and then I went and I became trained as a teacher of transcendental meditation by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. By the time I was 22, I was teaching meditation. So I’ve taught hundreds of people to meditate and I’ve been involved with a – I was involved with a TM Movement for great many years. In fact, I even 18 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
lived in Fairfield, Iowa where the TM Movement had built – actually purchased a defunct university and converted it into Maharishi International University. Now I think it’s called Maharishi University of Management. So I lived there for a long time. And what my experience was is that even with 25 years of meditating, I used to still get caught up in my emotions. And it was only when I actually learned and developed this CORE technique that I was able to come out of the grip of emotions for it really have a way out of that for the first time. And I had another fascinating experience. I’ll just relate a little short story because this quite addresses the topic that you’re bringing up here. I was a chatting with a friend of mine over on the campus, the university campus one day. This was back in the early ‘90s before I got shot actually. And I was chatting with him about his recent trip to Switzerland where Maharishi was living at the time and he’d been in a meeting with a whole group of long-term teachers of meditation and some guy in the meeting apparently had the audacity to stand up and asked Maharishi. He said, “Maharishi, I’ve been meditating regularly for 25 years and I’m not feeling particularly enlightened. What’s going on?” Maharishi was certainly shocked with this. And apparently Maharishi’s response to him and the whole group as my friend said, he said, “You all have the consciousness but you don’t enjoy it because of your habits. And you have to break those habits that are keeping you from enjoying the consciousness that you already have.” And so then I was waiting like with bated breath. OK. Well, what are the habits and how do you break them? He said, “He didn’t say any of them.” Here in this moment, I had the sort of epiphany that, “Oh, I get it. It’s actually my job to figure out what these habits are and what the best ways to break them up.” And so, it was from that moment on that the whole focus of my life basically was to figure that out. And so, the research that I was doing to recover from my own PTSD was that I’m very centrally part of this, I was looking for how it is, why it is that people are so lousy at resolving their emotional problems? And how can we upgrade that? How can we learn a new skill, a new way of being able to resolve these things? And I’m so incredibly fortunate to discover this stuff. 19 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
The CORE Dynamics that we’ve mentioned a couple of times, the set of insights into the nature of human conditioning, these are the habits that I was looking. And it took many years to discover those patterns. It’s the inside into the deepest causal level of these problems like this resistance to feelings is just one of twelve of them. And then the Pure Awareness Techniques are the best ways to break them that I’ve been able to discover. They’re fast. They’re efficient. They’re thorough. And they’re vey permanent. And I noticed, I went back to Fairfield, Iowa a couple of summers ago and I gave a presentation in a workshop there and I asked the people there who have been meditating 30 years, 35 years or whatever, “How many of you still get anxious?” And many of them, maybe 80 percent of them raised their hands. “I still get depression.” It’s like meditation is wonderful and I’m a big advocate of it but there’s a difference between contacting pure awareness through meditation and actually targeting the very barriers to being able to maintain that experience of pure awareness all the time which is basically our two databases of not useful emotions. So now, we understand the inner emotional landscape picture much better than in the past. We know that we have this accumulation of reactive emotions and incomplete experiences. We used the CORE technique to resolve the incomplete experiences and we use something called the C Technique to resolve the reactive emotions but that’s another whole story. The energy fields are quite different. So we need two different techniques because there are two categories of not useful emotions. But when we target the emotional energy and we resolve it just as we did in the energy that was held on your own face here. I mean that took some minutes and how is it now, by the way?
Beryl: Now, tingliness is actually in my eyes. It moved it. It feels like something is going on in the back of my eye but it’s a nice feeling. It feels like a letting go. Tom: Marvelous. That’s great. So you could see that in just a few minutes of doing something that’s the opposite of what you’re deeply conditioned to do, we’ve resolved the problem that you’ve had for – how many years you’ve had it? 20 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
Beryl: Three or four years, yeah. Tom: Four years and resolved in 10 minutes. Fantastic. Beryl: And I never had to talk about my traumas. Tom: Yeah. One of the wonderful things about Human Software Engineering is we consider all problems to just be patterns of energy and information. And what we want to do is to approach them in the right way. What I had to do when I started to create the concept of Human Software Engineering, the first question is what are the bugs in our human software? And in fact, the majority of them are these not useful emotions that I was just talking about. There is also another category in the Bio-energetic realm, bugs in our inner human software like the inherited residual influence of the disease tuberculosis for example. This is very [inaudible] [0:46:40] . Great many people have the problem of when they’re reading something, they have to – they get distracted and they have to reread it again to get the meaning or they’re a little bit more out of focus. This is so common about 60 to 70 percent of the population has this. It turns out that the cause of it is an inherited residual influence of tuberculosis. And there’s lots of research to substantiate that this is the case. When a person has TB and survives it long enough to have children, the children get a weakening influence that the TB has had on the parent and that get passed on for many, many, many generations. We don’t know how long. It may even become almost like a permanent part of the epigenetic gene picture. But in any case, we have a technique now using a technology called The WaveMaker Pro or RemiWave Pro, there are a couple different versions of it, where we can electronically invert and cancel out the energy of this little disruptive pattern of energy. And the problem of having to reread stuff just vanishes. It’s amazing. It’s like in 20 minutes the whole sort of ADD, ADHD symptom picture just is gone. It’s amazing. It’s almost literally like running antivirus software on all 50 trillion cells in the body. So this is another aspect of Human Software Engineering. 21 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
We are making contribution with the Bio-awareness level of life and with the Bio-energetic level of life. These are the two levels where Human Software Engineering is making contributions to human life.
Beryl: That’s stunning. So all these children in America being medicated for attention-deficit disorder. Tom: Yeah. Well, the medications are stimulants. And what the stimulant does is it gives them more ability to compensate and overcome – there’s an inward pulling influence of the residual effect of the tuberculosis because it weakens certain organs and systems and it’s pulling the awareness in to try to heal that. And try to focus and read and the body is pulling the awareness in that it’s like you read the word, you get the meaning, you read the next word, you get the meaning, you read the next word, you get the meaning. Obviously, when you read a word and the body is pulling the awareness in and you missed the meaning and now you have to go and read the whole thing again because it broke the hold of the meaning. And this is so common. I mean like I said, 60, 70 percent of the people have this problem. And when we invert and cancel out that energy, the inward pulling part stops and the ability to focus becomes effortless. And not just reading improves, writing – I mean I was trying to write books for years and I even hired ghost writers and paid them thousands of dollars and I couldn’t get it done. And a few months after I debugged my human software, a few months after I debugged myself with the TB [indiscernible] [0:49:33] , I woke up one Sunday morning about 4:00 o’clock and I said, “Oh, it’s time to write a book on the Pure Awareness Techniques.”
Beryl: Wow! Wow! Tom: My first book was written like that. Boom! Like total focus. Unbelievable. And since then, I’ve written and published ten books and it’s totally effortless. Beryl: I need that help and then I could get on with my blog writing a whole lot better, Tom. Melanie: Well, what it’s reminding me, I mean I never ever – because I’ve always have this issue of losing concentration and having to go back and 22 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
reread again, it never occurred to me it was a problem because it’s always been there. But what I’m remembering Tom is hang on, this hasn’t been there for a while. And obviously, all this work we’ve done with you during the training, it obviously had got cleared.
Tom: It’s very possible. Beryl: So, I have no idea how long we’ve been talking for. I’ve lost track of time. Melanie: Just over an hour actually. Beryl: Here’s the thing, Tom. This has been just wonderful and there aren’t really the words to say. We could go on. So a couple of things here I want to mention. One is the very exciting news that you are coming to London to be a keynote speaker for Melanie and I at our first Wired for Success event. So that’s going to be called Living Without Limits. Tom: Yeah. Beryl: And you are coming at the end of April or the 27th or 28th of April. This is going to be a London event and of course, everyone is invited. There will be details on our site very soon. So, this is going to be probably the soonest opportunity people will have to experience your work live as it were, in the flesh as it were. So we’re very excited about that. And then we’re hoping that you will come back a few weeks later to run one of your Free to Succeed seminars in the UK. So, we’re fingers crossed for that. So very exciting times. I want to ask you and we didn’t check this with you before but I’m sure you’re going to say yes. I hope you are. Will you come back and talk to us again before we run that seminar? Will we have another interview because there’s so much more that – yeah, I know you will because there’s so much more that we could explore.
Tom: Of course. I’d love to. It’s a delight to be on your show and I also would like to talk about what I love doing. Beryl: There’s so much more and we just – such richness. And we’re thrilled that you’re going to be coming to London. So … 23 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
Tom: Thank you for the invitation. I’m excited about it and I’m looking forward to being at the event. Beryl: So, can I just sum up what I’ve learned from you today and check that this is what you’re saying? That if you have an agile problem that you’ve always had and perhaps like for myself, I have to say, I thought it was who I was. I thought it was my personality. Tom: Yeah. Beryl: To have this kind of constant anxiety and feeling of overwhelm and struggling to move forwards. So if you’re having that kind of problem and even if it’s being diagnosed as borderline or personality disorder or narcissism or any of these labels or ADHD, they’re just labels and we must not think that that’s the end. That your technique, very simple techniques can even be learned from the book, let me just throw in this again, can be learned from the book, and you have a couple of other books too. We’ll put links to those. And that we can move forward to be as we believe in Wired for Success, to access that wiring so that you can live the life of success and fulfillment that we’re wired to be. Tom: I think this is the natural state of being is to have our thoughts and feelings coming from our inner knowing and being able to distinguish those from our thoughts that are generated out of our emotionally-driven thinking. And this is actually our whole process of human software engineering is helping people to so thoroughly clean up their inner emotional landscape that they do become – and this is why we call the seminar, Free to Succeed , to actually become no longer confused in their thinking. They can start an intuitive thought or start an emotionally-driven thought that it’s like most people don’t even know the distinction. But you clean out your inner emotional landscape. It gets a lot quieter inside and most of the thoughts that you have start to be the thoughts that are coming from the vast silent canvass that you just experienced. We call that first time like being in the ocean, it kind of feels like that. Maybe your thoughts are coming from there. These tend to be thoughts that are in your best interest, in your highest and best interest and are really the true expression of your essential nature. 24 http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv
And when you live your life based on those thoughts, you have a tendency to make really good decisions and just completely stop being the victim of your emotions.
Beryl: The update is I can now feel it’s this lovely light tingly feeling all around my abdomen into my chest space. It feels like a real lightness. Very nice. So thank you. Melanie, is there anything else that you want to bring up here?
Melanie: No. There is – I’ll save it all for the next interview otherwise we’ll be here for another hour. Beryl: Yes, we will. OK. So … Melanie: And it was great you bringing your stuff up because the thing is as I mentioned before, when you’ve been immersed in this work, it’s just such a natural way to be and to work that you forget how astonishing it is for other people. Beryl: It’s been wonderful. I’ve been blessed to be with you today, Tom. So, thank you everyone for tuning in to today’s episode of Wired for Success. We just like to mention before we wrap that if you’re watching this episode on our site and I’m sure you’ll have comments and questions, please type them in there and Tom will come back and answer them. I’m sure. If you’re watching this on YouTube, please subscribe. There’s a button up here. Please subscribe. If you are listening by podcast on iTunes, then please come and write your reviews. Tell us what you think. If you’re watching this on any kind of social media, then please feel free to share it with all of your friends. We’re Wired for Success TV at Facebook and on Twitter. https://www.facebook.com/WiredForSuccesstv https://twitter.com/WiredSuccessTV
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Lastly, wherever you’re listening to this episode from, if you haven’t done so already, please just shoot over to our main site http://www.wiredforsuccess.tv and join our newsletter for updates and content by adding your name and email. If you head over there, there will be a transcript of this episode too. We reply to all comments and suggestions and we would love to hear from you. So thank you for tuning in. Remember to tune in for the next episode of Wired for Success where we help you to master the seven areas of life. So from me Beryl and my co-host Melanie and from our interviewee Tom, we bid you farewell and next time. So, if you would like to say good-bye.
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