MONOLOGUES – Female, 2013 Jennifer from Tom Griffin's AMATEURS Excited? I was ecstatic! I was already plannin my wardroe for t"e Emmys# And I read one more time# My t"ird callac$# %&t I didn't et it# it# I went o&tside# It was one of t"ose "ay (#A# days) one of t"ose days w"en e*eryt"in felt so "ot and### artificial# I co&ld see t"e +ollywood sin s"immerin &p in t"e "ills# So I ot in my rented ,lymo&t" and dro*e &p to (a$e (a$e +oll +ollyw ywood ood## (a$e (a$e +oll +ollyw ywoo ood) d) it's it's perf perfec ect! t! T"e T"e damn damn t"in t"in is made made of concrete! I wal$ed aro&nd it# And all I co&ld t"in$ ao&t was) -Are t"ere fis" in t"is la$e?- So I as$ed someody# I act&ally went &p to t"is &y) t"is worn.down) middle.aed &y) and as$ed) -Are t"ere fis" in t"is la$e?- /o& /o& $now w"at "e said) -T"is is +ollywood) lady# 0o fis" except for t"e s"ar$s# 0o ottom except for t"e slime# 0o princes except for t"e fros#fros#- And we ot" la&"ed# I left ao&t two wee$s later# later# I didn't "a*e t"e &ts# It wasn't t"e talent# It was t"e &ts# Grace from Tina +owe's A,,EARA01ES T"e one wit"o&t t"e les "as t"ese c&stom.made artificial les t"at s"e "oo$s onto "erself# T"ey're amain) t"ey're so life life li$e) t"e exact same color color and text&re as "er own s$in# T"e t"in t"at really ets me ao&t "er) t"o&") and I'm proaly strane to to notice it # # # is e*ery day s"e's ot a fres" pair of soc$s# T"at's ri"t) eac" ni"t s"e discards discards t"e pair s"e'd een wearin and selects a clean pair for t"e next day# If yo& stop and t"in$ ao&t it) yo& realie t"ere's no way t"ose soc$s e*er et dirty since s"e doesn't "a*e feet t"at et t"em all sweated sweated &p# S"e's 2&st 2&st a stic$ler for appearanc appearances es and insists on fres" fres" soc$s e*ery e*ery day eca&se fres" soc$s loo$ loo$ etter t"an wilted wilted ones! 3ell) ell) w"en I loo$ down and see t"ose span$in w"ite soc$s "&in t"ose little plastic an$les of "ers) t"e c&ffs folded 2&st so # # # it rins tears to my eyes! T"at little irl really ta$es pride in "ow s"e loo$s! S"e $nows s"e's een orn wit" wit" a "andicap) &t s"e doesn't let it it et to "er# "er#
,ony from Tina +owe's A,,R4A1+I0G 5A05I%AR I et so scared t"in$in ao&t it) I can't sleep# E*ery ni"t I to&c" my edside li"t forty. forty. fo&r times and "old my reat" for as lon as I can and an d pray) -,lease God) don't let me die! I'll e ood) I'll e ood!- And t"en I start imainin imainin w"at it will e li$e # # # /o& /o& $now) $now) ein dead in a coffin) ein &nderro&nd all alone in t"e dar$) wit" t"e mice) and spiders) and worms crawlin o*er me # # # and) and dead people moanin all aro&nd me # # # and tryin to call Mommy and 6addy &t t"ey can't "ear me eca&se I'm so far &nderro&nd# And) and t"en I start start t"in$in ao&t ein t"ere fore*er and e*er and e*er and e*er &ntil my ody's a s$eleton # # # a clattery s$eleton wit" rinnin teet" and no eyes) and I to&c" my ni"t.li"t 788 times so it will o away and) t"en 988 times) and 888 times) and I et cryin so "ard Mommy "as to come in and "old me# # # And) and # # # 4" no) it's startin to "appen now# # # 1o&ld I et in ed wit" yo&?
7
(ynette from Ric"ard 1ameron's 1A0'T STA06 U, :4R :A((I0G 6430 I tried to clean &p after "e'd p&lled e*eryt"in o&t of t"e $itc"en c&poard and smas"ed it) &t I c&t my "and ;&ite ad on a piece of lass from a sa&ce ottle) I t"in$ it was) and I "ad to lea*e it# I s"o&ld "a*e "ad stitc"es really# It's f&nny# I t"o&"t it was $etc"&p# -Ser*es yo& ri"t)- "e says# -1leanin &p# /o&'re always cleanin &p# (ea*e it# 6ammit .. (EA
wo&ld fly) t"e ropes wo&ld $eep rea$in and t"e actors wo&ld come t"&mpin to t"e ro&nd and t"ey'd "a*e to e carried off y t"e stae "ands# T"ere seemed to e an &nlimited s&pply of &nderst&dies to ta$e t"e c"ildren's places) and t"en they'd fall to t"e ro&nd# And t"en t"e crocodile t"at c"ases 1aptain +oo$ seemed to e a real crocodile) it wasn't an actor) and at one point it fell off t"e stae) cr&s"in se*eral c"ildren in t"e front row# Se*eral &nderst&dies came and too$ t"eir places in t"e a&dience# And from scene to scene 3endy seemed to et fatter and fatter &ntil finally y t"e second act s"e was immoile and "ad to e mo*ed wit" a cart# /o& rememer "ow in t"e second act Tin$erell drin$s some poison t"at ,eter's ao&t to drin$) in order to sa*e "im? And t"en ,eter t&rns to t"e a&dience and "e says t"at Tin$erell's oin to die eca&se not eno&" people elie*e in fairies) &t t"at if e*eryody in t"e a&dience claps real "ard to s"ow t"at t"ey do elie*e in fairies) t"en maye Tin$erell won't die# And so t"en all t"e c"ildren started to clap# 3e clapped *ery "ard and *ery lon# My palms "&rt and e*en started to leed I clapped so "ard# T"en s&ddenly t"e actress playin ,eter ,an t&rned to t"e a&dience and s"e said) -T"at wasn't eno&"# /o& didn't clap "ard eno&"# Tin$erell's dead#
6arlene from Jim (eonard) Jr#'s T+E 6I
:iona from +eidi 6ec$er's E/E 4: T+E %E+4(6ER I'm pretty# T"ere's no ettin aro&nd it# I 2&st am# ,retty# ,retty is more t"an 2&st a state of ein) it's a way of life# My Mama always said) yo&'re eit"er pretty or yo&'re not) and t"ere's no in etween# S"e doesn't elie*e in isex&als eit"er# S"e doesn't li$e indecisi*eness in anyone# So I # # # am pretty# It's w"at I am# It's w"o I am# 0ow if yo&'re waitin' for me to et to t"e part w"ere I wis" t"ins "ad een different) t"at I "ate t"e s&perficial world t"at we li*e in and ea&ty is only s$in deep) yo& can foret it# T"ose are 2&st t"ins t"at &ly irls tell eac" ot"er to ma$e t"emsel*es feel etter# 0ow yo& $now it and I $now it# T"ere's no need to pretend for me# T"is face) and t"is ody) "a*e otten me e*eryt"in I'*e e*er wanted# 0o) I didn't et t"ins wit" sex# I am far too well red to e t"at *&lar# %esides) I don't "a*e to# -,retty- is t"e promise of sex# 4f ood t"ins) etter t"ins# I am t"e trop"y t"at's always 2&&&&st eyond t"eir finertips >
# # # and people will do anyt"in to et a limpse) a taste) a to&c"# I'm t"e +oly Grail! 6on't tal$ to me ao&t ein o2ectified# /es) I am ale to &se fo&r.syllale words# %ein' a woman ne*er $ept me from ettin a t"in# 0ow it's not t"at I don't empat"ie# I do# I'*e read plenty ao&t t"e feminist mo*ement # # # and I feel sorry for t"em) I do# %&t I dont' see w"at any of it "as to do wit" me# I mean) c'mon) let's e "onest "ere # # # we all $now t"at t"ose people are 2&st women w"o were ne*er ;&ite pretty eno&"# 0ow t"at's not my fa<# T"e tr&t" is t"e tr&t") and if it "&rts) I can't "elp it#
1at"erine from Rac"el R&in (ad&t$e's GRA1E 04TES I don't rememer m&c" ao&t i*in irt") &t I rememer I "eard "er cry# I didn't et to loo$ at "er) or "old "er# T"e n&rse e*en said I didn't deser*e to see "er) eca&se I was i*in "er away# T"ey did let me feed "er once# I "ad to ref&se to sin t"e papers efore t"ey'd e*en let me do t"at# S"e "ad l&e eyes# I t"in$ most aies "a*e l&e eyes) &t "ers weren't at all pale# T"ey were really deep) deep l&e# (i$e t"e ocean# 4ne "o&r) t"at's all we "ad toet"er# T"en t"ey too$ "er away aain# /o& $now w"at I really don't et) Emmy? 3"en I tal$ed to t"e ot"er irls at t"e aency) t"ey all $ept sayin t"ey co&ldn't wait to i*e irt" so t"ey co&ld et ac$ to normal# %&t I didn't want to "a*e t"e ay) eca&se t"en I was oin to lose "er# I tried to $eep "er wit" me as lon as I co&ld# I started "a*in pains in t"e middle of t"e ni"t) &t I didn't wa$e Mom &p &ntil I co&ldn't stand it any more# I didn't want to o to t"e "ospital) 'ca&se I $new I'd e comin "ome alone and empty# T"at's t"e worst part) I t"in$# I feel so empty# I'm cold all t"e time# And now e*eryone expects me to 2&st o on li$e not"in "appened# T"ey lied to me# 0oody told me it wo&ld e li$e t"is# I'm not e*en twenty years old) Emily) and I feel li$e my life is o*er# 4r a part of my life) anyway# And I 2&st $eep waitin for it to stop "&rtin# %&t it doesn't# It 2&st ets worse# /o& don't $now "ow m&c" it "&rts# Emmy# +old me?
(&cy from Alan Ayc$o&rn's I0
sort of t"in and ot worried and started tal$in ao&t sendin for a doctor# So t"en I didn't ta$e "er ro&nd wit" me ;&ite so m&c" after t"at# %&t s"e's still "ere# And w"en I feel really sad and depressed) I sit and tal$ to 5ara# 5ara always &nderstands# 5ara always listens#
Ree$a from Aaron (e*y's 40E MA0'S 6A01E My fat"er &sed to tell me t"is 6ot T"e Astrona&t story# It's ao&t t"is irl) w"o was always t"e same ae as me no matter "ow old I ot# S"e was orn paralyedcan't wal$) can't reac" o&t) can't dance# At ni"t s"e and "er fat"er wo&ld sit on t"eir alcony and loo$ &p at t"e stars) 2&st li$e we are# 4ne ni"t) 6ot as$ed "er dad w"ere ,l&to was) t"at of all t"e stars s"e wanted to o to ,l&to# +er fat"er as$ed w"y ,l&to? -'1a&se I co&ld dance on ,l&to)- s"e said# -I co&ld dance wit" Mic$ey Mo&se) and Goofy) and 6onald 6&c$) and me#- +er fat"er pointed to t"e s$y and said) all yo& otta do is p&s" t"ose stars o&t of yo&r way) and yo& can et t"ere# T"at's all yo& otta do# And if yo& et t"ere) if yo& act&ally et t"ere) Ira) it's not dar$ anymore# It's ri"t# -T"en I can't et t"ere)- 6ot said) -'ca&se I can't mo*e) I can't reac"#- And 6ot's dad "eld "er &p to t"e s$y and said) -/o& can reac") if yo& 2&st loo$ &p) et real mad at t"em stars) and p&s" t"em o&t of yo&r way# See? (oo$) t"ere's ,l&to) 6ot# 6on't e afraid) (44= AT IT#- @Pause# And s"e loo$ed) and "er fat"er raised "er "i"er) and B "e let o B @ Beat # And t"at's w"ere s"e is) Iraon ,l&to) dancin wit" "er pals#
=elsey from (a&ren Mc1onnell's T+E 04RT+ER0 (IG+TS I want to o "ome# I want to catc" a &s tomorrow and o "ome# To 1alifornia! I can't o ac$ to t"e cain and t"e oat and t"e smell! 0ot after 1alifornia! I can't ta$e it anymore! I'm sorry! I'*e 2&st e&n to realie t"at) I don't $now) I 2&st want a normal life# I didn't t"in$ I did) &t I do# 5ep"yr) e*eryt"in about o&r life is strane! /o&'*e 2&st li*ed &p "ere so lon yo& don't see it anymore# E*en I didn't really see it &ntil we went to *isit my parents! 3e li*e in a "o&se wit" no electricity! T"at is strane# T"e only time I et to "ear m&sic is in t"e car! Sometimes I snea$ o&t to t"e car 2&st to listen to t"e radioe*en if it is not"in &t t"is co&ntry western crap! And o&r at"t& is o&tside t"e "o&se! T"at is strane# +ow many people "a*e to p&t on snow oots e*ery time t"ey want to ta$e a at"? +ow many people "a*e to mil$ a st&pid oat e*ery time t"ey need a little cream for t"eir coffee? 3e li*e a strane life! %&t t"e stranest t"in of all is we don't have to li*e t"is way! 3e "a*e options! 3e co&ld mo*e and et real 2os and "a*e a normal life# 4&r parents are e*en willin to "elp &s! %&t instead we c"oose to li*e li$e t"e %e*erly +illillies efore t"ey str&c$ oil# 0ormal people don't li*e li$e t"at! 0ormal people don't want to li*e li$e t"at# I'm rowin &p fast# I rememer "ow we &sed to sit aro&nd complainin ao&t 1aliforniaao&t t"e &ildin) t"e rowt") t"e poll&ted) modern rat.race# We $new a etter way# We were etter t"an all of them# 3e wo&ld li*e in "armony wit" nat&re# 3e were so self.ri"teo&s! I'll tell yo& t"is m&c"C I enjoyed ein in 1alifornia# I li$ed t"e weat"er# I li$ed t"e malls! I li$ed t"e freeways! I liked it! D
(orr from 3illiam Mastrosimones T+E U064I0G 6on't elie*e one t"in s"e tells yo& ao&t (eo# +e was t"e est# T"e est# S"e didn't deser*e "im# +e only stayed wit" "er eca&se of me# T"e day I t&rned fo&rteen (eo towed an old 1"e*y on t"e lawn# :or a year "e stripped t"at car down and &ilt it ac$ &p from not"in'# E*eryday wit" sandpaper# And w"en I was fifteen "e said) /o& li$e fres" air) %ay? And I said) yea") and "e "ac$sawed t"e roof off and p&t on a con*ertile top# And w"en I was sixteen "e said) 3"at color) %ay? And I said) Red! And t"at year "e made t"at car t"e most $ic$ass candyapple red yo& e*er saw# And "e so&ped it &pC fo&r on t"e floor) <.F f&el.in2ected enine) mirrors) mas and do&le.c"rome ex"a&st) pl&s" &c$et seats) 1#%#) and doly "etto lasters front and ac$# And "e too$ me o&t and ta&"t me to s"ift and people &sed to stop and ta$e pict&res of my car and as$ "im "ow m&c" "e wanted and "e said) yo& ain't ot eno&") and "e p&t a sin o&t frontC 1AR 04T :4R SA(E# And w"en I t&rned se*enteen) "e a*e me t"e $eys and a map of t"e U#S#A# wit" fi*e one."&ndred dollar ills st&c$ in it) and "e traced t"e roads I s"o&ld ta$e wit" Maic mar$er) coast to coast) and "e said) Get lost) =id# And (orraine said) 4*er my dead ody! And (eo said) Any way yo& want it# And two days efore me and my irlfriend are lea*in) "e ta$es t"e car o&t one ni"t) to et away from "er) and some sfaced "otdo w"o's ot no &se for ST4, sins ta$es (eo away from me# @ Pause# T"e est# Me from S"erry =ramer's T+E 3A(( 4: 3ATER /o& $now w"y Im anry? /o& really want to $now? My roommate 3endi steals my ciarettes# S"e steals my ciarettes and it creates a rae in me reater and more terrifyin t"an t"e rae created in me y t"e t"o&"t of early deat" ca&sed y many forms of cancer) e*en t"o&" I dont "a*e any of t"em and e*en if I did t"ey co&ld e dianosed in time and I co&ld proaly e sa*ed# Unless it was "ead cancer# 4r t"roat cancer# 4r l&n cancer# 3"ic" I do not stand a ood c"ance of ettin) if I stop# %&t t"ats not w"y Im oin to stop# I am oin to stop eca&se w"en 3endi steals my ciarettes) s"e doesnt steal all of t"em# S"e steals all of t"em &t one# I ta$e it as a sin of t"e infl&ence of a ci*iliation on e*en t"e criminally insane t"at 3endi ne*er ta$es my last one# It "as not"in to do wit" consideration# 1ompassion# 1o&rtesy# 3endi "as left all t"ose t"ins far e"ind# Trains cant stop "er# %&llets cant stop "er# S"e t"reatens to leap from tall &ildins in a sinle o&nd# Medical science cant reac" "er# %&t t"e myt" of t"e last ciarette stops "er# 6ead) e*ery time# If s"e wo&ld 2&st ta$e t"e last ciarette) maye I wo&ldnt e so anry# %&t no) s"e ta$es nineteen and stops# S"e opens a fres" pac$) empties t"em all o&t) and replaces one# Marty from Gary Garrisons 3+E0 A 6I
was a no*elty w"en I was a $idI ot in*ited to e*eryones party 2&st on t"e c"ance Id faint for t"em and "opef&lly droop into t"e ca$e or p&nc" or "am&rer meat# %&t t"en my no*elty wore off and I realied I was spendin more time ettin propped &p y room "andles in a corner somew"ere t"an act&ally annoyin t"e party# I always t"o&"t t"at it was 2&st met"at I didnt 3A0T to e a part of A0/T+I0G# T"en ao&t t"ree mont"s ao) I too$ a &s to 0ew 4rleans2&st to et away from S"re*eportand I wal$ed in "ere y accident# I stood ri"t ac$ t"ere) eca&se it was crowded and t"ere werent any seats# And yall were sinin t"is i) ro&p son t"at went somet"in li$e :riends will lift yo& "eart &p w"en life "as let yo& down # # #K Ill ne*er foret "ow yo& all loo$ed# M&sic was soft) and Miss Red was sinin somet"in so f&ll oflo*eand I loo$ed at yo& # # # @To Penny# # # # and t"isfeelinwas all o*er yo&r face # # # @To Crystal # # # # and yo& "ad tears in yo&r eyes # # # @To Dee-Dee# # # # and I saw yo& in t"e a&dience) and yo&r face waseamine*ery word meant somet"in to yo&# And w"en t"e son was o*er) t"e a&dience clapped and w"istled and c"eered for yo&# @Softly# And yo& too$ eac" ot"ers "ands) and owed # # # and "eld on to eac" ot"er# /o& didnt let o# And t"en yo& "&ed eac" ot"er# 4n stae) in front of t"is w"olero&pof people# And e*eryone was smilin and c"eerin# And I t"o&"t) well # # # I t"o&"t) somet"in "appened "ere) and it "ad somet"in to do wit" w"y people want to e wit" ot"er people # # # and I want to $now w"at t"at is # # # I*e loo$ed e*eryw"ere for w"at yo& "a*e "ere e*ery day of yo&r li*es# I dont $now w"at it is) or w"at its called# %&t if I dont et it) Im not oin to ma$e it# Its t"at real to me# Its t"at # # # necessary# @Smilin # /o& $now) 2&st standin "ere) I feel calmer t"an I "a*e in my w"ole life# And I dont want to mo*e#
3oman from =ate S"eins ABM/ 0AME IS STI(( A(I1E Exc&se me) are yo& t"e reistry cons<ant? 3ell) I'm "ere to reister! :or ifts# I'm *ery excited# 3"en is t"e "appy e*ent? T"ere isn't one# I'm not ettin married# I'll proaly ne*er et married# /es) I $now t"at yo& only reister rides# :ran$ly) I find t"at a little discriminatory# I'm "ere to reister and I really don't want any "assle# 0o) no don't et t"e manaer# It's 2&st t"at yesterday w"ile I was attac"in tiny sil*er ells to a spice rac$ for my friends) t"is *oice inside my "ead started screamin at me# It said) -Sc"m&c$! 3"y do yo& $eep &yin presents for people w"o "a*e fo&nd e*eryt"in t"ey want?- Isn't it eno&" t"at t"ey fell in lo*e? T"ey'*e already won t"e sweepsta$es) w"y do t"ey need door pries? 0ow t"en) I need t"ins# I need matc"in l&ae# 1andlestic$s! ,&t me down for two pairs! 1ome on) 2&st do it! I $now I'm sinle# I confront t"at fact e*ery day of my life# /o& want to $now w"en t"e special e*ent is? A wee$ from Sat&rday# I'm t"rowin a s"ower to anno&nce a life of sinle"ood) and t"e ea&ty is I won't "a*e to ret&rn anyt"in if it doesn't wor$ o&t!
Adelaide from Mic"ael Red"ill's %UI(6I0G JERUSA(EM 6r# ,earson) I "a*e sat aro&nd for o*er ninety min&tes t"is e*enin and listened to yo& denirate anyt"in t"at is &nfamiliar or &nappealin to yo&) as if it is yo&r main callin to L
disill&sion anyone w"o doesnt see t"ins t"e way yo& do# 6o yo& $now t"at it is) in fact) danero&s to feed o&r infants mil$? ,lain mil$) 6r# ,earson# 3"ile yo& are meas&rin t"e attri&tes of yo&r race of perfect men and women) t"ere are aies w"o are dead eca&se no one ta&"t t"eir mot"ers "ow to "eat mil$# Its simpleC "a*in reac"ed a temperat&re of t"irty.two derees centirade) mil$ will cease to pose any $ind of a t"reat to an infant# It is sweet and no&ris"in# At t"irty.one derees) "owe*er) it is potentially poison) f&ll of let"al erms# 4ne deree) 6r# ,earson# 1an yo& meas&re t"at for &s? T"irty.two and yo& wa$e &p a family# T"irty.one and yo& "a*e to call t"e cas$et. ma$er# +a*e you e*er "eld one of yo&r own c"ildren in yo&r arms) watc"in t"e *ery life drain from its face? %eca&se yo& were feedin it poison and yo& didnt $now any etter? @ sliht beat 4r is t"at 2&st womens wor$? B
from (ynn Marie Macys 1RU01+I0G 0UM%ERS (oo$) I "a*e to step o*er "omeless people and dr& addicts in t"e street 2&st to et into my office &ildin# ,eople are cray "ere# E*ery time I o o&t Im afraid Im onna r&n into some $oo$# Sic$os 2&st come ri"t &p to yo&# T"ey do t"is insane st&ff ri"t in p&lic# (i$e) a few mont"s ac$) we were on a s"oot y t"e East Ri*er and saw a &nc" of +ells Anels try to drown t"is lo&d.mo&t") red."aired &y# T"ey stripped "im na$ed and tossed "im into t"e ice cold water# 3e "ad to call t"e police# +is wife or someone do*e in to resc&e "im# Unelie*ale# And 2&st last ni"t really late) I was comin "ome in a ca and I saw t"is cray &y wit" a &n# +e was forcin t"ese two ot"er people to carry a lamppost down t"e street# My od) I t"o&"t someone was s"ootin a film Hca&se "e was dressed &p li$e a anster from an old mo*ie# %&t t"ere were no cameras! E*eryday I wal$ o&t terrified t"at Im next# T"at todays onna e my t&rn to lose my mind#
Georeann from Alan %alls :I
F
3oman from 1"ristop"er 6&ran's (AUG+I0G 3I(6 I want to tal$ to yo& ao&t life# It's 2&st too diffic< to e ali*e) isn't it) and try to f&nction? T"ere are all t"ese people to deal wit"# I tried to &y a can of t&na fis" in t"e s&permar$et) and t"ere was t"is !erson standin ri"t in front of w"ere I wanted to reac" o&t to et t"e t&na fis") and I waited a w"ile) to see if t"ey'd mo*e) and t"ey didn'tt"ey were loo$in at t&na fis" too) &t t"ey were ta$in a real lon time on it) readin t"e inredients on eac" can li$e t"ey were a oo$) a pretty orin oo$) if yo& as$ me) &t noody "asN so I waited a lon w"ile) and t"ey didn't mo*e) and I co&ldn't et to t"e t&na fis" cansN and I t"o&"t ao&t as$in t"em to mo*e) &t t"en t"ey seemed so st&pid not to "a*e sensed t"at I needed to et y t"em t"at I "ad t"is awf&l fear t"at it wo&ld do no ood) no ood at all) to as$ t"em) t"ey'd proaly say somet"in li$e) -3e'll mo*e w"en we're friin' ready) yo& nain itc")- and t"en w"at wo&ld I do? And so t"en I started to cry o&t of fr&stration) ;&ietly) so as not to dist&r anyone) and still) e*en t"o&" I was softly soin) t"is st&pid person didn't ras! t"at I needed to et y t"em to reac" t"e damn t&na fis") people are so insensiti*e) I 2&st "ate t"em) and so I reac"ed o*er wit" my fist) and I ro&"t it down real "ard on "is "ead and I screamedC -3o&ld yo& $indly mo*e) yo& 2er$!!!- And t"e person fell to t"e ro&nd) and loo$ed totally startled) and some c"ild neary started to cry) and I was still cryin) and I co&ldn't imaine ma$in &se of t"e t&ne fis" now anyway) and so I s"o&ted at t"e c"ild to stop cryinI mean) it was drawin too m&c" attention to meand I ran o&t of t"e s&permar$et) and I t"o&"t) I'll ta$e a tax to t"e Metropolitan M&se&m of Art) I need to e s&rro&nded wit" c<&re ri"t now) not t&na fis"#
Ellen from M&rray Sc"isals (U< /o&re always sayin later# T"ats a fa*orite play of yo&rs# 0o) Milt# 0ot toni"t# T"ese t"ins m&st e said w"ile t"ey still can e said# Id li$e to contin&e if yo& dont mind# 0ow# /o&ll notice on t"is rap" "ow at t"e einnin of o&r marriae t"e red "oriontal line to&c"es t"e l&e *ertical line at a point of # # # 78) 7D times a wee$) and "ow) rad&ally) t"e n&mer of contacts ecome less and less &ntil 7F mont"s ao) w"en we "a*e an ar&pt rea$.off) t"e last time ein 2&ly 9> rd) t"e ni"t of yo&r sisters weddin) and after t"at date t"e red "oriontal line doesnt to&c" t"e l&e *ertical line once) not once! I "a*e not"in f&rt"er to say) Milt# 3"en somet"in li$e t"is is allowed to "appen to a marriae) yo& cant o on pretendin# /o& want to pretend# 4") t"e temptation is reat to o*erloo$) to find exc&ses) to rationalie# %&t "ere) Milt) "ere are t"e facts# 4&r relations"ip "as deteriorated to s&c" an extent t"at I dont feel responsile any more for my own e"a*ior#
Jessie from Mars"a 0ormans H0IG+T) M4T+ER I am w"at ecame of yo&r c"ild# I fo&nd an old ay pict&re of me# And it was someody else) not me# It was someody pin$ and fat w"o ne*er ot sic$ or lonely) someody w"o cried a lot and ot fed) and reac"ed &p and ot "eld and $ic$ed &t didnt O
"&rt anyody) and slept w"ene*er s"e wanted to) 2&st y closin "er eyes# Someody w"o mainly 2&st laid t"ere and la&"ed at t"e colors wa*in aro&nd o*er "er "ead and c"ewed on a pol$a.dot w"ale and wo$e &p $nowin some new tric$ nearly e*ery day) and rolled o*er and drooled on t"e s"eet and felt yo&r "and p&llin my ;&ilt ac$ &p o*er me# T"ats w"o I started o&t and t"is is w"o is left# T"ats w"at t"is is ao&t# Its someody I lost) all ri"t) its my own self# 3"o I ne*er was# 4r w"o I tried to e and ne*er ot t"ere# Someody I waited for w"o ne*er came# And ne*er will# So) see) it doesnt matter w"at else "appens in t"e world or in t"is "o&se) e*en# Im w"at was wort" waitin for and I didnt ma$e it# Me # # # w"o mi"t "a*e made a difference to me # # # Im not oin to s"ow &p) so t"eres no reason to stay) except to $eep yo& company) and t"ats # # # not reason eno&" eca&se Im not # # # *ery ood company# Am I# (&cy from Ralp" ,apes S4A, 4,ERA I can "a*e 2&st ao&t any man I want t"ese days# It's reat# %&t for a lon time) I &sed to t"in$ of myself as ein &nattracti*e and co&ldn't et many men at all# I "ated t"at period in my life) and I "ated myself too# Until I met t"is &y) Jo"nny# Jo"nny really d& me# +e told me "e &sed to t"in$ of "imself as ein &nattracti*e to women) or somet"in li$e t"at) and for a lon time went aro&nd "atin "imself also# %&t "e was so attracted to me t"at "e 2&st t"rew all "is in"iitions ri"t o&t t"e window# +e p&rs&ed me constantly &ntil I areed to o o&t wit" "im . "e wors"ipped me . "e adored me# I co&ldn't believe t"at a man was payin t"is m&c" attention to me# /o& "a*e to &nderstandC I was) li$e) incredily s"y# %&t Jo"nny c"aned all t"at# +e wo&ld say t"ins to me) t"ins t"at an intellient person wo&ld consider sentimental or corny) ao&t my eyes) my lips) my "air# And at first I t"o&"tC o" come on) Jes&s# %&t I'll tell yo& somet"inC w"en someone really elie*es w"at "e's sayin) yo& elie*e it) too# 3"en someone tells yo&) o*er and o*er) t"at "e lo*es yo&) t"at yo&'re t"e most precio&s t"in in "is w"ole life) yo& lay awa$e at ni"t eside "im) cryin) tryin to find wit"in yo&rself t"e ;&alities t"at "e seems ale to see so clearly) and at last yo& see t"em) too# And it's li$eC well" of #ourse# Miss Smit" from %enn 3# (e*y's S,RI0GTIME :4R +E0R/ I don't "appen to "a*e a "&sand# # # # I ceased to "a*e one o*er a year ao# # # # I s"ot "im# # # # I s"ot "im in t"e To&raine# # # # +e was a :renc"man) and we &sed to li*e in t"e To&raine# I was really *ery fond of Aristide# # # # I fo&nd o&t after a year t"at "e "ad a mistress# T"at I co&ld "a*e p&t &p wit") for after all yo& m&st expect :renc"men to e a little it :renc"# %&t "e ean rinin "er "ome to tea# I &sed to say) -,lease) Aristide) dear) don't rin t"at woman "ome to tea# Send "er some tea) if yo& li$e) &t it's not ri"t to rin "er "ere for it#- +e was *ery sweet to me in "is own way and promised "e wo&ld try not to# %&t "e was rat"er wea$) poor darlin) and t"is was one of t"e temptations "e really co&ldn't resist# It seemed to "im innocent eno&"# A few mont"s later I fo&nd o&t "e "ad anot"er mistress alsoN and t"e climax came w"en) after fi"tin aainst it for some time) "e s&rrendered to an imp&lse) and in*ited t"em both to tea# I ar&ed wit" "im *ery nicely) and pointed o&t t"at it wo&ld e so ad for little ,ierre to row &p t"in$in t"at mistresses for tea was in t"e nat&ral co&rse of t"ins# So I o&"t a second."and re*ol*er and said t"at I was terrily sorry &t) if "e did it aain) I really wo&ld "a*e to ta$e t"e law 7P
into my own "ands# 3ell) poor darlin) "e did it aain# # # # It's not &n&s&al in :rance# T"e 2&de was most c"armin) and t"e 2&ry were perfectly sweet# T"ey said t"ey wo&ldn't dream of con*ictin me# E*eryody was extremely sorry for me# T"e 2&de declared t"at in a way I "ad performed a p&lic ser*ice# If "&sands ean t"in$in t"ey mi"t rin t"eir mistresses "ome to tea) "e didn't $now what wo&ld "appen# 3ife from James (apine's TA%(E SETTI0GS I'*e always een "appy# Always# 4") s&re) t"ere was a time w"en e*en I a*e into depression# %&t really) t"ere's no ;&estion ao&t it# I'm 2&st a "appy person y nat&re# 0ow t"at can t"reaten some people# @She looks around the s!a#e to indi#ate the $some !eo!le$ as her family# Sometimes w"en I "a*e a smile on my face t"ey as$ me) -3"at's t"e matter?- (i$e if I'm 2&st in a merry mood) t"ere "as to e a reason# I'm 2&st simpleminded! 0ow t"ere's a lot to e said for simplicity# I don't claim to feel less t"an anyone else# S&re) I "a*e my ad days) &t I let o# I et anry) and t"at's t"at# I don't ma$e t"ins complex w"en t"ey can e simple and easy# I feel pain) &t I don't dwell on it# I t"in$ of t"ins t"at ma$e me "appy# Unli$e some people I $now) I co&nt my lessins and not my prolems# Ta$e my mot"er.in.law) for instance# All t"at woman seems to tal$ ao&t is t"is one's stomac" cancer) and t"at one's cataract operation and w"o's di*orcin w"o# And my "&sand is fore*er l&ed to "is newspapersometimes I t"in$ t"at man wo&ld rat"er read ao&t political &nrest and crime t"an e wit" "is own family# And t"e $ids# 1"ildren) o&r one "ope for t"e f&t&relast ni"t I 2oined t"em in t"e T< room# T"ey were watc"in t"is r&esome proram ao&t star*in people) in Indo.Asiaor somew"ere! 3ell) I 2&st s"&t t"at tele*ision off and said) -:or cryin o&t lo&d can't yo& $ids watc" somet"in a little c"eerier? 3"ate*er "appened to '4ie and +arriet?'- 3ell) t"ose $ids loo$ed at me li$e I was n&ts# (isten) I 2&st try to smile and rin a little "appiness into t"is family# I mean we're all oin to end &p wit" six feet of ro&nd on top of &s) let's "a*e a few la&"s# %&t yo& $now) some people see t"e c&p of life as "alf empty# I see it as "alf f&ll# And if t"ose "alf empties won't let &s "alf f&lls e "appy# S1RE3'EM# Amanda from 0ic$y Sil*er's T+E :446 1+AI0 I was readin my paper w"en t"e waiter came o*er and as$ed if I was alone# 3ell! It was o*io&s t"at I was alone# I was sittin t"ere) in a oot") y myself . did "e t"in$ I t"o&"t I "ad an imainary friend wit" me? I was alone! 6id "e "a*e to r& it in? 3as "e tryin to e f&nny? 6id "e t"in$ "e was) in some way etter t"an me? It was in "is tone# -Are yo& alone?- %&t w"at "e meant to say was -/o&'re alone aren't yo&!?- And I can't imaine t"at "e's not alone e*ery sinle day of "is miserale) pat"etic life! +e "as terrile s$in# 0ot t"e way ad s$in is attracti*e on some people# 4n some men! It's ne*er attracti*e on women . "a*e yo& noticed t"at? J&st one more example of t"e in2&stices we are forced to s&ffer! If we "a*e ad s$in) we're rotes;&e! (et a man "a*e ad s$in and "e can e Ric"ard %&rton for God sa$e! I "ate ein a woman! I'*e strayed# T"e point is t"e waiter wit" terrile s$in and reasy "air as$s if I'm alone# I want to pic$ &p my &tter $nife and sta it in "is s&n$en ca*ed in c"est! %&t I simply respond -0o) I'm married) t"an$ yoM
1RIMES 4: T+E +EART) y %et" +enley# %ae# 3illie Jay was o*er# 3e were 2&st standin aro&nd on t"e ac$ porc" playin wit" 6o# 3ell) s&ddenly 5ac$ery comes from aro&nd t"e side of t"e "o&se# And "e startled me Hca&se "es s&pposed to e away at t"e office) and t"ere " e is comin from Hro&nd t"e side of t"e "o&se# Anyway) "e says to 3illie Jay) +ey) oy) w"at are yo& doin ac$ "ere?K And I said) +es not doin anyt"in# /o& 2&st o on "ome) 3illie Jay! /o& 2&st r&n ri"t on "ome#K 3ell) efore "e can mo*e) 5ac$ery comes &p and $noc$s "im once ri"t across t"e face and t"en s"o*es "im down t"e porc" steps) ca&sin "im to s$in &p "is elow real ad on t"at "ard concrete# T"en "e says) 6ont yo& e*er come aro&nd "ere aain) or Ill "a*e t"em c&t o&t yo&r iard!K 3ell) 3illie Jay starts cryin) t"ese tears come streamin down "is face) t"en "e ets &p real ;&ic$ and r&ns away wit" 6o followin off after "im# After t"at) I dont rememer m&c" too clearlyN lets see # # # # I went on into t"e li*in room) and I went ri"t &p to t"e da*enport and opened t"e drawer w"ere we $eep t"e &rlar &n # # # I too$ it o&t# T"en I I ro&"t it &p to my ear# T"ats ri"t# I p&t it ri"t inside my ear# 3"y) I was onna s"oot off my own "ead! T"ats w"at I was onna do# T"en I "eard t"e ac$ door slammin and s&ddenly) for some reason) I t"o&"t ao&t mama # # # "ow s"ed "&n "erself# And "ere I was ao&t ready to s"oot myself# T"en I realied t"ats ri"t I realied "ow I didnt want to $ill myself! And s"e s"e proaly didnt want to $ill "erself# S"e wanted to $ill "im) and I wanted to $ill "im) too# I wanted to $ill 5ac$ery) not myself# H1a&se I I wanted to li*e! So I waited for "im to come on into t"e li*in room# T"en I "eld o&t t"e &n) and I p&lled t"e trier) aimin for "is "eart) &t ettin "im in t"e stomac"# @after a !ause Its f&nny t"at I really did t"at# :E01ES) y A&&st 3ilson# Rose# I een standin wit" yo&! I een ri"t "ere wit" yo&) Troy# I ot a life too# I a*e se*enteen years of my life to stand in t"e same spot wit" yo&# 6ont yo& t"in$ I e*er wanted ot"er t"ins? 6ont yo& t"in$ I "ad dreams and "opes? 3"at ao&t my life? 3"at ao&t me) Troy# 6ont yo& t"in$ it e*er crossed my mind to want to $now ot"er men? T"at I wanted to lay &p somew"ere and foret ao&t my responsiilities? T"at I wanted someone to ma$e me la&" so I co&ld feel ood# /o& not t"e only person w"os ot wants and needs# %&t I "eld onto yo&) Troy# I too$ all my feelins) my wants and needs) my dreams # # # and I &ried t"em inside yo&# I planted a seed and watc"ed and prayed o*er it# I planted myself inside yo& and waited to loom# And it didnt ta$e me no se*enteen years to find o&t t"e soil was "ard and roc$y and it wasnt ne*er onna loom# %&t I "eld onto yo&) Troy# I "eld yo& ti"ter# /o& was my "&sand# I owed yo& e*eryt"in I "ad# E*ery part of me I co&ld find to i*e yo&# And &pstairs in t"at room # # # wit" t"e dar$ness fallin in on me # # # I a*e e*eryt"in I "ad to try and erase t"e do&t t"at yo& wasnt t"e finest man in t"e world# And w"ere*er yo& was oin # # # I wanted to e t"ere wit" yo&! H1a&se yo& was my "&sand# H1a&se t"ats t"e only way I was onna s&r*i*e as yo&r wife# /o& always tal$in ao&t w"at yo& i*e and w"at yo& dont "a*e to i*e# %&t yo& ta$e too) Troy# /o& ta$e # # # and dont e*en $now noodys i*in#
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