“BAHAY-BAHAYAN”* Rafael E. Lopez I had a blissful childhood. Save for that trumpo, I learned almost every game and did almost everything a free spirit could do. With my siblings, cousins, and friends, I played taguan, taguan, patintero, patintero, bahay-ba bahay-bahaya hayan. n. We climbed climbed every mango, kaimito, kaimito, santol, santol, guave and mabolo tree tree in our compound. compound. And after after siesta we siesta we spent the rest of the afternoon at the bukid near bukid near our place catching dragonies, butteries, spiders and frogs and raced back home by si o!clock to "oin our lolas for the Angelus. #ahay-bahayan wasn!t eactly my ideal game. I considered it boring and a big waste of precious playtime. I remember resisting every time someone suggested playing the game. I hate it especially e specially because because I often had to play the father when all I really wanted was was to play play bunso. bunso. I would have been to do anything while my playmates cracked their heads mimicking the grown-ups in the family. #ut I didn!t get this choice part more often than not. $emories of #ahay-bahayan are back in my mind these days % and in living color yet % regardless of what I am doing. Sometimes they come in bits, sometimes in whole episodes consuming my working time, and they come as often as the ads in &' programs featuring &yson!s (ghts. It took me sometime to (gure out why )hey, I!m no *o $ulder+, but I still (gured it out. &he (rst reason is that now three of my friends are walking on the path of fatherhood. ot too long ago, my buddy and semi-brother announced to our barkada of ten bulls that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. &hree months later, the youngest in our barkada had the same tale to tell. And then a few weeks back, my fellow emini and closest bark barkad ada a announ announced ced that that he had had gotten gotten his babe babes/ s/ )that )that!s !s how he calls calls his girlfr girlfrien iend+ d+ preggy as well. &hese announcements announcements took me by surprise, but they were not actually a shock to me. I had several hatch mates in high school who fell into that same hole much earlier. What I couldn!t understand was how gangmates let it happen when we had discussed the perils perils of premari premarital tal se, se, unwanted unwanted pregnancy pregnancy and young marriag marriage e very often and very thoroughly during our *riday night gatherings. &hen we unanimously agreed that those roads were too dangerous to tread. I don!t think my friend really forgotten forgotten all our discussions and what they said then. I believe they "ust could not resist the temptation and "ust plunged into the problem. 0id they take the game of bahay-bahayan too far1 &hat seems obvious but I suppose they will not come forward to admit his. &hey do confess that what they did was cra2y, but swear they are willing to marry their girlfriends and raise their children, no matter what. &he other reason why memories of bahay-bahayan bahay-bahayan came crashing back is that I am en"oying and still want to remain single. $arriage may have become some kind of trend in our barkada, but I am not about to "ump into the bandwagon. It!s not that I doubt my capability to perform the obligations of fatherhood3 it!s "ust that I don!t want to eperience what my friends are going through now. 4ou see, they look they!ve been caught in a storm these days. And fatherhood "ust doesn!t appeal to me right now. ot while I!m still pushing penci pencill and fond fond of colle collecti cting ng earspl earsplitt ittin ing g )accor )accordin ding g to my father father++ 50s and tapes tapes and dependent on my parents for my own survival. I still have my youth to en"oy and myself to please and I can!t see how I can manage with this baby and young wife to support. 6ay, I can!t be forever young, so might as well en"oy it while it lasts. I have played father so many times in my children, and it!s time that I played bunso now and "ust en"oy carrying out the simple responsibilities responsibilities of being a partner to a girlfriend, son to my parents, a brother to my siblings and a student to my mentors. 0espite my vigorous protest against playing the game, bahay-bahayan taught me two very important lessons. *irst is that it is foolish for adults to act like children and shirk their responsibilities when even children try to act responsibly during their playtime and probably every time. &he second lesson is that I need to have enough in terms of money 74oung #lood, 8hilippine 0aily In9uirer, $arch :;, <=>>.
and psychological and emotional preparedness preparedness before I would even think of getting married and raising children. ?ven in the game, we have to have a house or something that looks like it before we can start playing. We have to be prepared before the game. I don!t really know how I should feel, knowing that even as I consider how to liven up my evenings, my best friends are freaking out trying to hush up their kids and frantically trying to (nd out whether they are wet or hungry. I thank thank od for my not very fascinating fascinating but still fruitful fruitful eperience eperience with bahaybahayan.
74oung blood, 8hilippine 0aily In9uirer, $arch :;, <=>>.
