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THEBUGGER! a l l a i e h s o r H e f f f o s o o s h r d a z z i i l t t i h s n g o h h t h h t t i w D it h o n y a s in e d o u l e p l u e r t h o n , t is e r oi oic d y a n d e r m i t d o , e t l l, l, u t t e fe fe r o crocodi crocodile le J esus into into a four e tr e l on on g o n s t er ty t h e ot e r d y in t e s t e y d ee eep n o orr t T e kn o y , O E T G CU T d b e ll ll ie ie d u p t o C a il ls ls C r os os si sin g in th e Territ Territory, ory, a fa ourit ourite e ffee eedi ding ng la ce f or or cr cr oc oc s, s, w e re re t e b r a e lo lo c l sstt oo oo d e r g r ou ou nd nd , s t r ed ed h im d o n , n d d e ni nie d h im l a n df df a l l T e dy , w o c n not e n e d in
A e p o c S l a r t s u A
c s e r e en en p e a ce e ts ts t h e s h it s n d c r g e s e r it h s c r in in g p r ot ot e ct ct e d n e a t in in g r e t il es es , s to to od od on on t e b n k nd en t ey e l t o ey t e l it h t e s v e ri r in g r iviv e r d in in o s u r , H A C K H E R T H O G oud y in s t e r h n d nd in its its too tooth th y fa ce. ce. T en sh e too took ka stic stick k a nd ch ucke ucked d iitt in in t e w ter. ter. Th e s s h it de s t e r ri ri y i n T h e cr cr oc oc k ne ne w if s e de de p l o e d e r s ec eco nd nd d o u l e p l u e r e s d oo oo m e d, d, so so h e f uc uck ed ed o ff ff , s h it ti tin g i se f a n d k in t e E s t A i t o r iv e r ev ev e n r o n e err .
I WOULDA KICKED HIS ARSE
L ƒ D Y
O C ! R C V S
REGULARS
CONTACTUS
8 N E WS F L A S H ! 22 YOU YOU RE J OKIN OKIN G 24 READE RS WORLD 26 SICK SICK P ICS 30 TRINITY
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32 3 3 GET UP YA SOOK PIN PIN -UP 40 MAD E IN OZ GIRL 44 SPOT SPOT THE DIFF D IFF ERE N CE 46 CHE EKYCROSS EKYCROSS 50 AUSSIE AUSSIE SLA N G 51 PIG DOG 52 MY BE ST F UCK 54 YOURSEL YOURSEL F INTE INTE RN U UTTERS TTERS 55 HOME GIRL S 70 GO FACT
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f a ce ce ook .c .co / p ictur e T e ic t u r e u n o Cover p hot hoto o
i it l D e si sir e
z i ne ne
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Ne w Tits
4
On t h e b lo c k
O R a ll o f y ou se o ut t he re wh t h o ug h t p or n w as ju s t R OT AN D G IG G LE , ri s in g Se p o p or n s t a r P r is t in e E d ge il l s et ya s tr a g ht . T h is p e r ky- t i t t e d n ym p h o r e c k on s t he o nl y w ay t o m ak e it in t he w il , wo nd e rf ul wor ld of P L E I E A is t o t a ke it s e rio us ly a nd w or k, or , wo rk , just lik e her he roi ne J enna J a m e s on , w h o m a de m o re b uc ks o u t o f s c re e n f uc k s t h an a nyo ne e l s e i n h is t o r y. P r i s t in e w a n t s t o b e ju s t l ik e h er,
MORE HOT PORN CAREER TIPS!
w Tits
On th e b lo c k
even down to delivering her version of J enna’ s tr adem ark wet, sloppy blowjobs. She s m y favourite porn star of all time. I really look up to her , says the am bitious 27 - year- old stunner from St L ouis, M issouri. So you’re not just in this for a bit of a laugh and all the orgasms you can eat then? “ I’ d tell any gir l wanting to get into por n to keep it professional and look at it as a career, not a party – even though it is fun!” Atta girl! You still enjoy watching it, but? I used to watch por n at home with my boyfriend to g et in the mood –now I w atch it just for homework!” Yeah, that’s our excuse, too. So far we’re top of the class. How’d ya get into the biz? I was a dancer for seven years. The first tim e I w as approached to do porn I was 21 and turned it down. Then a couple of years ago I started doing webcam w ork, I was approached again and this time I was ready.” So are ya lovin’ it or what? I do love it! I get paid to have fun and have sex.”
I ve
vi g
ssy b
j What’s your SPECIAL SUBJECT? I love giving m essy blowjobs and I’ m pr etty good at it, too. They all say that, but have any of your male co-stars had cause to make a complaint about your technique? Be honest. Of cour se n ot, I’ m a pro! Yeah, we kinda had the impression you were. Don’t forget us when you’ve made your first BILLION.
6
d r H a D G E !
prett y good at it , too”
F l a s h
Believe it or not, this shit happened!
SKULL BUGGERY
They were ust taddies a minute ag o...
L L h in e s e b lo k e X a Y u a n h a i a n s th is C h r is s ie is a H ha T S . T h e 5 3 - y e a r -o ld , h o v e s h e v i a g e o f a o u in C o n g q g , s o u h - w e s te r n C h i a , h a a c ia l h y p e r p la s ia , a n A L L E N F U N o f a con di on ha tcau sed hi on ceh a n d s o m e b o a t a c e to B UL K U o i s pres en t pro po rt on s,as el a s r e n d e r in g h im p a r t a l d e a f a n d fu c k n g u p h is te e h . B u t h e g o o d n e s is h is o ld e r b r o , X Y u a n c h a n g s fu n d - r a is in g o r a n o p e r a t o n o r e s to r e Y u a n h a i t ra d P t ve s o f ss y.
BRASCO FROGS
y m a l A , y t t e G , e p o c s l a r t s u A
2
PLEASE HEADBUTT E D D IE M C G U R E
TH o o d s i e n t a l S W b r o u g h t m u c h a rd s h i h e o c a ls , h e n o n e o m a n e n t h o m a f e r b e in g e v a c u a te d h e s t th in g s h e a n te d d o a s h a v e C O M F O R T I C R A P h e r o w b r o .B u t h e r n ig h t a r e a s n ’t o v e r hen she e d h e d , in s te a d o f th e e lc o n g g le a m o f w h i p o r c e la in , s h e a s g r e e te d b y h e e v i , b e a d y e y e s o f d o z e n s o f b r ig h t g re e n o g s . P H L O S T S e c k o c re e k u s t v e o o d e d h e s e w e r a g e s y s te m , w h ic h h e n b a c k e d u p n t h e h o u s e , a n d h e o g s j s t r e c k o n e d v in g dun ny a s h e a p s n ic e a n d d e c id e d s ta y
E COCK
W ON
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COFFEE TO GO U n e x t m o rn in g u p p a o u l g iv e y o u a T H E E ST FF Y. ake rs ofSti ,a n ew bran d o f nstant co e n e US ,sa y i e l s c o f e e d r i k e r s “ s ta y h a r d e r lo n g e r ” th a n k s t se cre t rad on al rb s o u r c e d fr o m h e j n g le s o f a la y s ia . “ T h e s e g r e d e n produce a n aw esom e ef ect hat c a n a s t u p o 2 – 3 d a y s ,” t e y c la i . u t h e US F o o d a n d D r u g dm s tr a t o n s a y s m o r e k e d o w n to th e d o s e o f d e s m e th y l carb od en af ,a rug si ar to ag ra, n ve ry cu . , ateve g e s y a th r o u g h h e d a y ,e h
M GUNN HAVE A FAT H IT E
arn, b lo k e s – F U C K
CARP ARE CRAP C AR P a r e f at , s l im y C U N T OX EN o f t h in g s t h at s e r io u sl y f u ck u p e ve r y A u st r a li an r ive r t h e y’ r e d u m pe d i nt o . S o G OO D ON po m fis ho Ti m W e bb for ca t ch in g t hi s wo r ld r e co r d 100k g B LU B B E R G U TS a f t er a 90 m i nu t e t u s s le i n B a n P o n g, T ha il a nd . O n ya , T im b o . B u t B O O- H IS S t o h im f o r n ot d e e p f r yi ng t h e b l ud g e r, i ns t e ad r e l ea s in g i t i nt o h is o wn c ar p f is h er y f o r o t h er N U T TY a ng l in g t yp e s t o c o m e a nd c at c h . “H a vi ng a f is h o f t h at s iz e g e ne r at e s a l ot o f in t er e st , p eo pl e w il l w an t t o c om e a nd h ave a g o a t t r yi ng t o c at c h i t ,” h e g a gg l e d. F is h os a r e D I FF ER E N T.
M G - N
G I N !
I CAN’T FEEL MY ANUS AN YM O R E !
WHAT THE FLOCK?! A P OMM Y s he ep far m er is so pi s se d off with passing SW AGMEN knockin’ off his J UMBU CKS that he’s sprayed his flock FLUORO ORANGE. Pip Simpson, from Troutbeck, nort h-east En gl an d, sp ray e d 800 of his S HEE P Y PALS with lum inous orange dye to make them le ss attractive to sheep-
r u s t l e r s . H e ’ s w o r k in g o n t h e t h e or y that no-one would ste al a RANGA R AM. “Ove r t he l as t f ou r ye ar s we have had nearl y 300 sheep go missing or pinched,” he said. “The only solution we could find was to make them complet ely different to everybody els e’s.”
DON’T MAKE THE RANGA SHEEP ANGRY
BEYOND BLUE P I SS IN G r a in a nd N AD - SH R IN K I N G C O LD w at e r d id n ’t deter 500 pasty poms from hurling themse lves STARK NAKED into the m urky North Sea at Druridge Bay, Northumb erland, the other day. They were partaking in the fifth annual Nor th East Skinny Dip, which raises dosh for a mental health charity – appropriately enough, ’cos you’d have to be FUC KEN C RAZY to do it. At l eas t t he y go t a n ic e B LU E- IS H TAN f or t he ir e ffo rt s .
go Nunga-out nymphets on nude holiday rampage! N a c o u p le o f u n v i , fr e - w S P U Y A US S I ES ake a ho day og et er,you can e x p e ct UL K U T Y a n d s o m T O N G UE Y L E ZZ O S H E N A N G A N S . o it c a m e to p a s s w h e n T r ix i b lu e s h o r ts ) a n d N u m u m s (p in k s h o r ts ) e c i e d o s p e n d t h e r h o sw n g , b u s h - w a lk in g , S H and W AS G e a c h o th e r s B U S . t a ll s t a r t d o g o a t U D SH D o n h e r st d a y w h e n T r i a n d N u m s s e t o ff o n a b u s h w a lk , o n y to f d e m s e v e s s u e r i bad y om SW EATY C RA CK S and TI ATE C AFI G. u m s , b e n g h e b r a in y o n e , r e d a t if e y o o k e ir c lo t h e o f f, s co d on y g t r.
W
10
C’ ,TR X, L E T ’S G E T NAKED
!
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I ’ M C H AN G I N G MY NAME TO SANDY MCCRACKEN!
12
They did, and things imm ediately got FU CK EN FANTASTIC. U nenc um be re d b y CL OB B ER o f any kind they frolicked though th e scrub like a couple of SEXY BILBIES. Making their way down to the b eac h, t he y had a s que al y le zz o make-out session while writhing around on the sand. W ro ng! In n o t im e a t a ll t he ir delicate and frag rant LADY BITS had become – and we hate to s ay this, readers – somewhat GR ITTY. So it was off to the showers for some intense de-wingling, with each girl giving the ot her a thorough GOING-OVER. Then it was off for a TOPLESS COFFEE in a TOPLESS COFFEE SHOP, and after that they went home and had a NICE FUCK .
WATCH OUT FOR KLINGONS!
R O
N E
MM A fighter, Roy Big Country’ N elson, has recently put the cunt right back into his 1 1 kg nickname. A fter stom ping bulk SH ADE S OF SH IT out of Antonio Silva in Braz il, Big Roygavethe ref a kick in the arse and the middle finger for not stopping the fight earlier. UF C president Dana White L OST HIS TITS and said Roy needs to be buried for touching a referee. Then he hired an excavator because the hole will have to be really, really big.
YOU WANNA P IE C E O F THIS?
H
M
Countthecalories for th planets, ’cos they don’t and E W
E T O S T L I
AC DC’ s lucky its latest lead singer , A xl Rose, didn’ t eat A ngus for being nam ed after a steak, then scoff the rest of the band with custard and try take a bite out of terrified gig- goer s in the fron t row . T hey’ re pr obably only now safe cos A xl s cheese- filled chubcheeks were obscuring his P IGGY VISION .
B R E
W
K IN G D O
YO U know you’ ve succeeded as a wobbling CHUN KOSAUR US when firstresponders haveto break down a walland use a forklift to haul you off to hossie. In August 201 3, Khalid bin Moheen Shaari, all 1 0kg of him, had tobe transported tosurgeryso 317kg of GL UE Y L ARD couldbe siphoned from his massive body. Which he probably then ate in a smoothie.
This is his version of jo g g i n g
14
BANANORAMA F A T TE R h a ARVEST PI nd sm ar er han basketi how ea us h e su s a ca q u a t saka zoo,l ke rol o ld s off ab er due peopl hrow ng n a p p r o p r ia t u c k e r k e h o t d o g s , u rd u c k e n s a n d d e e p - e d a r b a r s n t h i e n c lo s u r e . B e fo r e b e in g p u t o n d ie t, h e o p p e d o u t a t 3 0 k g s h re e es he usual e ig h t o r a n a d u t a c a q u e
NS ! se huge ham someone oughta BIG SEX Y A T 1 30 k g S e p p o o d el T es s H o l d ay m be U AN BLI P, butshe h e l s ex y h u m a n b l p . E a c h o f h e r g h ty , b a b y o o h ig h s e ig h s a s u c a s n o r a l s u p e r o d e ls , h ic h s h e p r o b a b l a t d e e p r ie d o r u n c h . D o n ’t c a r e . T h e r e c a n n e ve r b e T O O U C H o f a h o t e .
Can also be used as draft excluder
T H E F AT T
P E T H AT E S T e at ng s w hat hese o p orked-up di c k e r s h a t e th e o s t. e e t e n s t e 2 5 . a c h s u n d a n d M e a b a , h e o r ld ’s fa t e s t e ig h g in a t 1 6 3 k g s . y i g a r o u d l k e a t , u r r y s a u s o s h i e M E A T - U S T D s ra m u n n e d h e r g u s is w a t e y l v e – a n d p r o b a b e for.
o u s e r s t r i n t i
! R E E
l o o P t n e t n o C l l u B d e R
U G E - C AG GE D P om D ougie L ampkin has become the first bloke to wheelie a murdercycle the entire terrifying length of the famous Isle of Man TT racetrack. U tilising all the craft and skill he acq uired not ching up 1 2 Wor ld Trials championships, Dougie, 40, did the 0.725km course in an im pr essive one hour and 35 minutes. In that time, he rounded more than 200 corner s and climbed to an altitude of 422m, all on only one wheel. He also battled ferocious 6 5km h winds carrying the sour beer-breath of P om pissheads sucking back pints in ever y pub along the Mountain Course. Dougie’ s first attem pt was delayed for 24 hours by even more ferocious winds, but com e kick-off he was keen to GE T CRACKING. F rom the word go it was so intense, he r evealed after the r un. U p to 1 0 times I came close to dropping the bike, and I thought I’ d lost it twice. I was just han ging on, really. But hang on he did, front wheel proudly in the air and with his giant cojones slapping painfully against his cramping thighs. It w asn’ t over until a couple of metr es from the end, he bleeped later. But that last coupl e of metr es was just am az ing.” N ow he’ s just gotta get used to riding on two wheels again.
Daredevilm onos around entire Isle ofMan TT course
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Q. W HAT DO YOU CA ADEAD MEMBER OF ISIS? A. W ASW AS. “When I w as grow ing up,m y father w ould often com e hom e stoned.He w as an adulterer and w e lived in a Taliban village .” – H ayden Black
I
The hack ng group Anonym ous h s
“The y’re alw ays g oing,d on ’t de alw ith
declared w ar on ISIS.Which is ironic,
terrorists.Let’s d ealw ith them .Wha t’s
because now they’re being attacked by
Allah offering you boys,100 virgins?
72 virgins.
We’llgive you 50 slag s.” – Frankie Boyle
Q. W HAT’S THE SMALLEST ORGAN IN A GOAT? A. AN ISIS SOLDIER’S DICK.
Q. HOW DO YOU BLOW UP AN ISIS MEMBER’S PHONE? Q. W HY DO MOST . RAPES BY ISIS GO AIRPLANEMODE. UNREPORTED? A. BECAUSEGOATS .
Q. W HY ARE THERE NO ISIS MEMBERS IN STAR TREK? A. BECAUSE IT’S THE FUTURE.
“57 virgins you g et.My arse.Wha tare
“I’m no t w orried abou t Islam ic suicide
you g un na do w ith 57 virgins? You’ve just
bom bers,they can o nly do it once.Now a
blow n you r ba lls off.” – Billy C on nolly
H ind u su icide bom ber,that’s m ore of a threat.” – Jim m y Ca rr
Q. W HY DOES ISIS CALL CAMELS ‘SHIPS OFTHE DESERT’? .’ ’ O FS EMEN.
d s r a t s a b b m u d t u o b a Jo ke s
who blow themselves up
“ T h e a iv e ty o f ae ryi g o ri g re s rt asgo . e’ e 400 year ah ea d of you g ys You ve ot v e n t a f o t a ll a m F rankie Boyle
Y N A N S OT ER B A L L S TH N
n Is is s u ic id e b o m b e r c a rr ie d o u t h is m s s io n a n d m a d e t o h e a v e n , h e r e h e o u d h s 7 2 v ir g in s . r o b le m a s , e y w e r e a l b lo k e s p a y i o r ld o f a r c r a
. DIDYOU HEARABOUTTHE SECRETISISSEXTOYFACTORY? A.THEYSPECIALISEINBLOW-UP DOLLS. e n e r r o r is ts fe e d h e r c h i d r e n , d o e y s a y “ o p e n d e ” w h i e z o o m n g h e o o d h r o u g h h e a ir m a k in g a ir p la n e n o is e s ? O r d o t h e y j s t s m a s h it n t h e k i s fa c e
X X X X
S 185CM
ANYONE GOT A STEPLADDER?
Y
OU can than k the S NOO TY, H EIG H TIST CU NTS in the fashion industry for b eing able to see Blaire n aked in fron t of you tod ay.
The 18-year-old Se pp o w anted to
be a fashion m odel,but – som ew hat cruelly – w as told to G O AWAY. “The y allsaid I w as too tall,” sighs the 185 cm ,18-year-old TOWER o f TERR IFICNE SS and form er school volleyballcha m p. So B laire took h er loooong legs,her perky C-cup titties and her m uscular, hypnotic BUM and em barked on a
T O G ' S E careeras a nudie m odelinstead.
And look ing atthe results ofthis,
S G
And Blaire knows how to use them
her very firstm odelling sho ot,that’s a w in for us.And you. To pu t he r HE IGH TINE SS in perspe ctive, she’s e xactly halfa m etre taller than pop ular Gam e ofThrones sh ort-arse P eter Dinklage,and a goo d 15cm – or a stockstan dard,n on -porn PE EN L EN GTH – taller than Tom Cruise. An d that’s before sh e b ungs on stilettos. C on sidering that m ost of he r seem s to be m ade u p of leg,leg an d m ore leg,w e figu re Blaire has a LO NG future in fron t of her as a nudie p erso n,bu t ifthat ever falls over,sh e has p len ty of other option s. We w ere thinking sh e’d b e great at giving giraffes prostate exam s,getting tennis balls out of roofgutters,or playing in the forw ard pock et for the S w ans. Only trou ble is,sh e’s so tall,sh e n ee ds som eone to give her FOOT MASSAGES. An y volunteers?
ou r e W A T ’S T H E D I B ET W N A C O P P ER W H A S P E D G UN A N D G O N G D O ONA OM N? H EN Y O UG O D O W N O N A O M A N Y O U C A N S E E T H E C UN T D T H E B US H
o k in A B LON DE w alks u p to the librarian and says,“I’m he re for the porn try-outs.” “This is a library,d ear,” says the disgusted old librarian .
OKE OF THE WEEK
“Oh ,sorry,” w hispers the b lon de.“I’m
NS
he re for the porn try-outs!” V E SS, L O G A N , Q L D
SP IC K Y , V IA E M A IL
A FELLA arrives home from work and finds his wife stressed because the kids had been running wild all day. She asks if he would take them out for a pizza. He tells the kids to go into the garage, and follows them. A few moments later the wife hears two loud bangs. The guy comes back into the house and asks, OK, that’s done –where’s my pizza?”
When I get drunk I see snake s,and I’m
BRAD the builder was on the third floor when he realised he forgot to bring his saw with him. He shouts to Paddy, but Paddy can’t hear him. So he uses sign language. He points to his eye (to say “I ), then to his knee ( need”), and then he moves his hand back and forth in a sawing motion (“saw”). Paddy gives him the thumbs up, then he drops his daks and starts wanking. Furious, Brad runs downstairs. What the hell are you doing, Paddy? All I said was I need my saw!” I know,”says Paddy. “I was just letting you know I was coming.”
scared to death ofsnakes.That’s w hy I got
L . P ., J I N D A BY N E , N SW
F . K ., V I A E M A IL
A DR UNK w as stagge ring dow n an alley carrying a box w ith holes in the side s.He bu m ped into a frien d w ho asked ,“What’d have you g ot in there,m ate?” “It’s a m on goose,” the drunk replied. “What have you gotthatfor?” “Well,you k now how drunk I can ge t.
“That’s okay,” said the drun k,show ing
y m a l A
m ongoose.” T E R RY , H U R ST V IL L E , N S W
THREE b lokes are w orking on a high rise building.Choo k falls offan d is k illed .As the am bulance takes the body aw ay,Sim m o says,“Som eone sho uld go d tellhis w ife.” Macca says,“O kay,I’lldo it.” Tw o h ours later,Macca com es back carrying a slab ofVB.Sim m o ask s,“Where did you ge ttha t,Macca?” “Ch ook ’s m issus g ave itto m e.” “That’s crazy! You told h er he r husband w as dead and she gave you beer?” Macca says,“Notexactly.I said to her, No,I’m not a w idow .”
“Bu tthat’s stup id! ” the frien d said.
his friend inside the em pty box.“So is m y
D . H . , V I A E M A IL
‘You m ust be C hook’s w idow ,’ and she said,
this m on goose,for protection .” “Those snakes are justim aginary.”
A FATHER asks his ten-year old son if he knows about the birds and the bees, and the kid immediately bursts into tears. Confused, the father asks what’s wrong. Well, when I was 6, I you told me thewre’s no Santa,”the boy said. “At , I got the ‘ no Easter Bunny’ speech. When I was 8 you told me there’s no Tooth Fairy. If you tell me that grown-ups don’t fuck, I’ll have nothing left to live for.”
H O W A N Y C A LO R I S D O Y O U T F M A T I G P US S Y ? IT D E P EN D S O N H IC H S H E P ES . G A IL , Y A N C H E P , W A
A WEE Irish lad is crying his eyes when a man walks up him. Fellling sorry for the lil fella, the man asks, “What’s wrong wit ya,young fella?” The boy sniffles, “Me ma just died.” Oh Jaysus!”the man says. “Do you want me to get Father O’Riley for yez?” The boy replies, No tanks, mister. Sex is de last ting on me mind right now.” G E O F F , BE N A L L A , V I C
And I said,“Wann a bet a slab on that?” C . H ., G E E L O N G , V IC
A MAN is in a baron top of a skyscraperwhen another man walks in and asks the bartender for a whisky. He downs it, leaps out the window, floats back up and climbs back in the bar. The other man at the bar is amazed and asks the man how he did it. Easy,”says the man. “Outside this window are strong wind currents which you can ride back to the window.” Wow!”says the man at the bar, “I gotta try it.” He leaps out the window and falls to his death. Fuck Superman,”says the bartender to the other guy. “You’re a jerk when you’re drunk.”
QUOTEOFTHEWEEK
YO U K N THE
H U G H , D A I N T RE E , Q L D
E
D F
AT APPE A F T ER P I KS
JEFF ROSS
G ot a grou se jok e? Po st it or em e m ailit to Picturejoke s@ bau erer-m m edia.com .au an d w e’llsen d you $ 20 if w e pu blish you r jape .PLUS Jo ke of the Week g et ets s a YO OJ $ 100!
THEPROFESSIONAL ACTOR,COMEDIAN,TOOLMAN: TIM ALLEN ACTOR,COMEDIAN,TOOLMAN: TIM
TO US T S AN D
A N ’ A T T EN E N T IO IO N D IN TOFT T M VE.
“MEN “MEN ARE SUCH LIARS.WE’ LIARS.WE’LL LIE ABOUT LYING IF WE HAVE TO.I’M AN ALG EB RA LIAR.I LIAR.I FIGURE TWO TWO G OOD LIES MAKE A PO SITIVE.”
“MEN LOO K AT WOMEN HE WAY WAY MEN MEN LOOK AT CARS.EVERY MAN LOOKS AT FERRARIS. FERRARIS. NOW AND THEN WE LIKE LIKE A PICK UP RUCK.AND WE ALL BUY STAT STATION ION WAGO NS.”
Y OTHE SA D TH E R EA S O N M N A R E A L V E IS IS F R L A W N A R E A N EHI E AI TENA E.
PAMELA ANDERSON POLISHED MY TOOL
I G R W UP IN IN V E R Y LA R Y;I EV ER EVEN S EPT E U TI A F T ER ER I A S AR “I DO N’T THINK I’LL EVER GET MARRIED
AGAIN;INSTEAD,EVERY FIVE YEARS OR SO,I’ SO,I’LL JUST FIND FIND A WOMAN WOMAN I DON’T LIKE AND GIVE HER A HOU SE AND A C AR.”
THEJOKESONYOU
THIS WEEK: WEEK :HIPSTERS
H O D O Y UD R HIPSTER? N T H E M A IN IN S T R EA EA M
O W O Y O UG E T A H P S T E TO E T A HOT DO G? PU N A M AN U Tw o hipsters psters w alk into nto a
I farted in a room of
bar.The r.Th e first on e d id it
ipsters and I w atched
bef be fore itw as coo l,and
hem fight each each other
the secon d on e d id it
over w h o hea h eard rd itfirst.
iron ro n ical ca lly.
H O W UC H S A PSTE GH? AN NS AG RA Ifa tree falls in th e forest ore stan an d n o one on e is aroun d to to h ear it,a ipster w illb u y iton vin yl.
H Y D O H P S T ER ER S O N L US E IC TH EY D T L N V T IOIO N A L V E N S .
H OW P S T ER ER S O E S T TAK E TO S C R EW N A LIGHTBULB? YO U U T ’S’S D F A N S C U N U B ER .
I’M SAVING UP TO BUY SOCK S
I m et a cou ple of hipsters psters today,an od ay,and d the the y yelled at m e for m aking fun of the m .Turns .Turns ou tth at th e p olitical cally corre co rrect ctterm is “con join ed tw in s”.
2 3
R e a d e r s ' W o r l d HERBIE IEGOESBANANAS! I J U ST wanna wanna nominate nominate Charlotte Charlotte from B urleigh H eads, eads, H omie of the Week in issue issue 1415, as hottest hottest ever Aus A ussie sie Home H ome G irl. She has perfect C -cup titties, a tight littl little e arse arse and her shaven smoo is a work of art. Plus she’s pretty as all fuck and has beaut blue eyes. Please make her a pin-up or something so we can all see more of her. She’s a doll! I can stop thinking about her!
T H E B IG IG G E R , THE BETTER!
HER IE, I E, COLLAROY, COLLA ROY, NSW
S e n d y o u r w o rd rd s ,p ,p ic s – WH A TE TE V E R – to Mu n g o a t R e ad ad e rs ’ Wo rl rld c /o TH E P IC IC TU R E , G P O B o x 5 20 20 1, 1, Sy dn ey,NSW 200 1,o r em ailt lthe he big fella a t m u n g o @ b a u e r-m e d ia .c o m .a u
MUNGO MUNGO SAYS: Well, Herbie, I have to admire your taste. Young Charlotte is, as you say, the epitome of Aussie spunkitude. We will see what we can do about getting her back for an encore. I’m pretty pret ty sure sur e you’re not Robinson Crusoe in i n thinking thin king she’s hot ho t stuff st uff.. I’m kinda ki nda blow b lown n away aw ay by by her meself.
MUNGO’S ON TWITTER T h a t s ri r i t , m t e e t in g e h e r t o u t f or or t e e o l e. e. o n e o f t t t I d f o r b r e k ky ky or o r I ju ju st st d on on e a i g o o s t u ff ff , ju j u st st u su su a l cl a s s s i t . I t s t s:
er. om
T e Pi Pi
reM
EATTHIS IS 1415 that invented inv ented the H amdog has has inspired me to come up with my own fast-food fast-food hybrid. Y ou take a fresh, fresh, tasty tasty C hiko R oll, and bung bung it in a pita bread with hommos, tabouli and a slash slash of chilli sauce sauce and and you get – ta-da ta-da – the C hiko-bab! hiko-bab! It’s I t’s bound bound to be a winner, winner, all I need now is some bucks to get iitt started. started. NEIL, NEWSCASTLE, NSW
MUNGO SAYS: SAY S: Mate, Mate , you ve got go t my mouth-watering mouth-wat ering already. I can’t wait to get one in me gob after a few dozen beers. Use your $50 well, Grasshopper, and I expect to see the Chiko-bab at a late-night vending van soon.
ONTHEPL ON THEPLUS SIDE SIDE M U N G O , you ask asked ed for plus-s plus-siz iz ed models models we we would would like to to see see in the the PICT U R E . G ive Ashley Ashley G raham raham a phone call call and ask ask her her to pose, I’ d love lov e to see her voluptuous body. .C., LEOPOLD, OPOLD, IC
MUNGO MUNGO SAYS: I asked that? Ok, if you say so. But it sounds s ounds like li ke me, ’cos I like li ke women with meat on their th eir bones. bon es. I’d never heard of Ashley, A shley, who is what what they call call a plus size”Seppo size”Seppo lingerie linger ie and fashion fashi on model, but now that I‘ve checked check ed her he r out, ou t, I think thin k I’m in love. lov e. She doesn’ does n’t do nude stuff, but she looks pretty hot in her fancy undies, undi es, so that ll have ha ve t Thanks for the tip.
MUNGO A N TS TO
O
Now it’s ge tting ho tag
it’s
ev ery A u st str ralian ’s res p o en su re the the ir b eer is ke pt as co ld as po ssible.So I w ann a see an y p iccies yo u h ave of you r fan cy, tarted -u p a n d p er erso so n alise d E skies an d be er frid g es,an d if I u se ‘em I’llp ay ya $1 00 !
LETTER OF THE WEEK
EVERY EVE RY LE LETTE TTER R PRI N
R W ITH A PI PICTU CTU RE
W I NS
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Thiss wee Thi week’s k’sque questi stion: on: y ou o u er e t e , t ’s ’s t h e f irir st st t h in g y o u ’d ’d d o
N H, YOURS RE W Y BIGGER
Editor
Jamess Coone Jame Cooneyy O rd e r p i z z Senior writer
Roger Crosthwait Crosthwaite e u y e v e ry o n e Writer
e er er
Thomas Oakley Oakley-Newell -Newell H o u se se p r t y t K i rr i b i llll i Editorial coordinator
Emily Rattenb Rattenbury ury L e g a l is is e g a a r r ia g e Art director
Tony Halpin C u c k a s ic ic k ie ie Photo editor
Bonnie Weigan Weigand d ree t e ni le National Sales Manager
Pat Campb Campbell ell (02)9282 8369 pcampbell bauer-media.com.au
I O FTEN grab m y m an an’ ’s PIC TU TURE RE fora
the M y Fuck F uck pag page e so the ot o ther readers can
perv atthe H om e G irls and to read w hatthey
share in itas w ell.I LO L O V E Y O U SE SE!!
hav ave e to say.Th say.They ar are allso sexy, sexy,espec especi ially som e of the exot ex otic ones on es from ov over erseas,and
L. . BYRO N BAY
MUNGO SAYS I L OVE YOUSE, TOO! I’ m sur e your bloke will appr eci eciate ate that . gotm got m e thinking.O ne of thes hese e days I w antto A nd if he doesn’ do esn’ t, he’ s a fucken f ucken idiot. arrang ange e a threesom e w ith one o ne of o fthese A s you point out, fi r st and an d for em emost ost w e honeys ho neys for m y blok oke e so he can have hav e the are a m agaz ine of ideas, dirty or exper exp erience of tw o w om en,and I can satisfy otherwise, and if we can help just one m y lustfor a hotp ho tpi iece of puss pussy.Th y.That at’s one of o f A ussie blok b lok e scor e a hot ho t thr th r eesom e, then the greatthing aboutTH abou tTH E PIC P IC TU R E – it it will have all been worthwhile. Be sure put pu ts lots of dirty ideas in m y head! h ead! When I to let us know w hen the deed is is done. get eti ita tal llorgan ani ised I’ I ’llsen send d yo y ou a letter for Sharing is caring, caring, after all. heaps of them reckon they are bi,w hich has h as
National Group Sales Manager Men’s Lifestyle Division Brigitte Guerin Cornelia lia Schulz Schulze e Publisher, Specialist Division Corne Associate Publisher, Specialist Division EwenPage Director of Media Solutions SimonDavies General Manager, Marketing NatalieBettini Circulation Strategy Manager PaulWeaving Research Director JustinStone Lucille e Charles Commer cia ciall Manager Lucill Designer in Chief TonyHalpin General Manager Media, Deborah ah Thomas PublicA ffairs Brand Events Debor Production Controller JamesCooney Chief Executive Officer NickChan
Published by Bauer Media Group
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BLING BL ING IN TH THERING! ERING! I BE T K im K ardas dashian w illbea bit m ore car carefulaboutw here she keeps keeps herjew ellery from now on.My suggest uggestion w ould be to keep allher bling in the safestpl tplace poss possible – up herhuge arse.No e.No robberw ould go in afteri eritforf tforfearof ear of getting lostup ostu p there.
. T E N T E R F IE IE L D N S W
MUNGO SAYS F air air call. all. Youcoul Youcould d get a job job as her sec security urity advis adviser, er, I reckon. reckon. Mind Mind you, you, someon someone e would would have to get them them out for her every day, so you d r eall y hav e to ea r n your mon ey.
We d chuck our junk in her trunk...
ABN 76 051 706 499, 31-37Heathcote Rd, Moorebank, NSW 2170. Head office
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[email protected]. Distributed by Network Services, 54 Park Street, Sydney, NSW 2000. Phone (02) 9282 87 . Recomm Recommended ended retail price. THE P ICTURE acc accepts epts no responsibility for loss or damage of fr eelance contributions.
ISSN1033-3258
ic s
er t n 0 Phone
W HO I N VIT ED MY MOTHERI N -L AW ?
n i v h t e M t t o c S
E! R E H O T L L E E,H L H W
ST OP FU CK EN P RESS
G O T H E B LU E S !
j
U
U
Damien, gentleman of leisure WHO
WHERE:
Deniliquin, NSW
A
MAN of few words, for reasons known only to himself Damien established his man cave well away from home.
T E L L U S ƒ B O U T IT ,D ƒ M O .
It’s in a factory in an industrial area. It’s sorta half warehouse, half man cave.” ƒ T L E ƒ S T Y ƒ W O N ’T D IS T U R B T H E N E IG H B O U R S .W E N O T IC E T H ƒ T R O C K ,N O T T O M E N T IO N R O L L , P L ƒ Y S ƒ B IG P ƒ R T IN T H E IN T E R I O R DECORƒTION.
ha
s a c ok e.
a m o w o u ld n ’ r in k a n d d r iv e .
Yeah, I like my music. A lot of the music stuff is from this band Dead Daisies, made up of members of a lot of other bands like Thin Lizzy, Whitesnake and Motley Crue. I was fortunate enough to hang out with them a bit when they toured Australia with KISS.” Yƒ O L D G R O U P IE ! W H ƒ T ƒ B O U T T H E REST OF THE GEƒR IN THERE?
It’s all crap I’ve collected over the years. Still am, actually –I’m always acquiring more crap.” Y E ƒ H ,B U T C R ƒ P ’S G O O D .W E L O V E C R ƒ P.Y ƒ G O T T ƒ H ƒ V E C R ƒ P !.ƒ N Y F ƒ VE B I T S ƒ N D P IE C E S ?
I suppose the KISS stuff. That’s all pretty good.” T O P C R ƒ P ! O N E T H IN G ƒ B O U T T ƒ L K IN G ƒ B O U T C R ƒ P,T H O U G H ,IT ƒ L W ƒY S M ƒ K E S U S T H I R ST Y – WHƒT Cƒ N Yƒ PULL US ƒT THE BƒR.
Ah I’ve been meaning to put the gear in so I can have beer on tap behind the bar, but I just haven’t got around to it yet.” N O W T H ƒ T ’S C R ƒ P !
W h a t m o re could you want?
See m ore at AUSSIE MAN CAVES on Facebook
Ta lk in g D ir ty S NORM ALNOT NOR AL
I’ V E always been vanilla in the bedroom. I don t know if I d enjoy kinky stuff because I ve never had the opportunity, but I also don t hav e the desire. I ve had girlfriends that liked to be spanked a little, which was cool, but it really didn’ t do anything for me. I read some of the lettersin the mag and I feel like I’ m a bit weird because I just like it nice and simple. A m I weird, Trin? O,
UT
,
CRAZY?
TRINITY SAYS: No, you’re not weird. Just boring. Some people, like you say, I STA RT E D seeing this girl who works as a are ‘vanilla’ and they like it that way, nude waitress and wants to become a feature but that’s only because they haven’t dancer. She’ s a top chick, but it s still early been with someone wild to show them days in our relationship. M y mates have the way. How can you know if you’re warned me not to get too attached ’ cos they into something unless you’ve tried it!? reckon that most strippers are either cra y
YTH
U TE
WIL L playing with my tits makethem grow gger, T r n ty? M y oyfr en says t w . A nd he insists on playing with them every ay to prove his theory. B ut I’ m not sure that t s w or ng. I s t a rea t ng? P C ,
EBB ,
LD
RINITY AY : laying with your tits wouldn’t increase them signi cantly enough to justify the theory. Yes, it omotes blood circulation which wil eep them so t and plump but they won’t grow bigger.
or druggos. N ow, I know that my mates are talking out their arses, but what do you reckon, Trin? W hat percentage of strippers t at y ou v e w or e w t av e a ssues ? O C ,
EL CO
EN ,
CT
RINITY SAYS: Ha ha! They all have issues of some sort (some pretty normal, others a little more intense mate but so do non-strippers”so tell yourmates toget ucked!I she’s a good g rl, she’s a good g rl; pla n an simple. Don’t let the job stereotype her. was a stripper, I’m fucking awesome and, yeah, I’vegot an issue or two, but it oesn’t make me any less wife material then the next roa .
G IV E H
HAND
wr t ng n. I ave a pro em w enever a r g v es me a ow o , no matter ow ong s e oes t f or s e can never m a e me cum. The get mereall close but I never nut. I’ ve tried relaxing, thinking about ot er t ngs, as ng t e g r to o t faster an eeper, ut not ng wor s. I ave no
HO W CAN OU W F YO U O SO UN S U
100 uncensored sex advice from Australia’s hottest stripper!
picturem ag azine
W IT H T R IN IT Y
w w w .p icturem ag .co m
I LOVE A GOOD FINGERING
problem coming when I have intercourse or getting a titty-fuck. But oral – nothing. This has been with every girl I’ve ever fucked or fooled around with. H ope you can give me some advi ce. Thanks. E ,
The PictureMun go
IA EMAIL
TRINITY SAYS: I wouldn’t really say it’s a big problem. It’s not like you’re not coming at all. See, as much as a lot of guys have problems coming too easily t ey also have other problems to do with jizzing and 90 of the time it’s all in your head. Just try and forget about t and stop worrying. If the volcano is meant to erupt it will!
OL D
UE S T O
of girls aged between 25 to 35 and they loo k way older than that. They l ook more like they’re 40. A few A sian girls around t e age of 30 look li ke they are 19. Is it all ust genetics, or is it too much drinking and rugs in early years? AHMED, SUNNY A NK,
LD
RINITY SAYS: Which site are you looking at, mate? Being a bit u gmental, aren’t we? Try meeting a woman in person; that usually works a lot better than just going off a p oto. Pictures don’t always capture a person’s true essence. Some of the pre ettiest pictures turn out to be the ug iest bitches –remember that!
U B ER S G
yourself to anyone else. Just do what’s best for your own relationship!
would be best. K.L., SPRINGV ALE, V IC
HOW TO E X I’ E always been the shy type, so picking up women has been beyond me most of my life. I’d like to get to a point where women are attracted to me. H ow can a bloke start to become sexy and desirable to women?
TRINITY SAYS: Women love confidence so you need to grow some balls, mate. How are girls supposed to be into you if you’re not secure with yourself! Work on that first and the rest will ow.
L OUD
D
OU
e r ?Do y o u a n t s o e a v ic e g D r ty W th T i t y , c o THE PICTURE, GPO B x 5201 , S
TRINITY SAYS: How does getting your own place sound? Surely it’s time for you to move out of home. People tend to find it a lot sexier when their partner’s parents aren’t in the next room. Seriously, time to grow up and not worry about sound proofing locations.
Y T M Y G IR L FR IE N D gets heaps wet during sex
as fuck. Then I suggested lube and she freaked out. Is it because the foreplay is not enough? A.L., CA RAMATTA, NSW
I L O E having really loud sex and I currently don’t have a place of my own. It’s really hard to get my parents out of the house. W hat kind of locations are good for loud roots? I’ m loud enough to disturb neighbours,
T R I N I T Y W A N T S T O H E A R FR O M Y O U ! Do y u h a v e a q u e s t i n o n ly a SEXPERT k e T n i y c a n a n s
r it e t o T
T
If you’re thinking of having a threesome, be sure to do it with people who are on the same sexual level as you, otherwise it’ll be nothing but a waste of time. For example, if it’s going to be two girls/one guy, be sure that both the girls are into licking pussy too! Get everyone involved!
IC
TRINITY SAYS: A few times a week, maybe 3-4, is definitely a healthy number. I’d be happy with that and so should any man! Ultimately, though, everyone is different, so don’t compare
f e ? YE H? T n
S
TRENT, IA EMAIL
H O W many times a week should a healthy co ple be having sex? We’ ve been together for 4 years and we have sex a couple of ti es a week. But my mates say that’s not en ugh. W hat do you reckon is a healthy number? F. ., EDITHV ALE,
R N
TRINITY SAYS: You answered your own question, mate! Clearly you’re not arousing her enough. A dry pussy is a clear indication of that. So put in some effort before you stick your dick in. Oh, and spitting on it doesn’t count!
n w e n n g e n e r a l?Or o y u ju s t a n t o a s k a y , NSW 2000, o r s e d n l to tri ty@ r-
u t h e r XXX- a t e d s e .co .au . S s ti
!
31
a T’ S a danger ous world out there. You can stub your big toe getting out of the shower in the morning, infection can set in by smoko, you’ re in em ergency at lun chtime and dead by knock-off. So you can’ t be too careful. E ven the seemingly harmless activity of cutting up an avocado for morning tea is fraught with danger . Tr icky bastards, avos. J ust when you think you ve got ’ em dow n for the count, they’ re liable to get back up off the canvas and go ya. This poor bugger was probably thinking he had the situation well under control, looking forward to a bit of avo on toast, sprinkle of pepper , squeez e of lemon, lovely grub, when the cunt of a thing turned on him.
ƒ C U G H O L Y
We dunno whether there was some form of ancient oriental martial arts involved, but suddenly the avo had the bloke on the ropes with a knife planted firmly through his left mitt. Sor ta like how B ruce L ee would’ ve done it, except it s a fucken avocado. Well, the bloke was so firmly attached to the thing he had to take it to hossie with him, and we only hope that the doctor s, once they’ d detached the stroppy stone fruit, didn’ t just chuck the tasty champion away. Wipe the blood off and it would ve made some hungry surgeon a nice little post-operative snack. So to the victim with the perforated paw, we can only say: H a ha, you lost a fight with an avocado, and…GE T U P YA SOOK!
E ! L O ƒ M
WHO: AN ON YM OU S A VOC ADO F AN CIE R
WHERE: THE KITCHEN, PRESUMABLY
WHƒT: HE HAD A KN IFE -F IGHT WITH AN AVO
O U C H Fƒ C T O R
92
%
IT’ S BE TTE R TH AN BE IN G MU GGE D BY A WATERME LON WITH A MACHE TE!
P i n u p
y h p a r g o t o h P i l l e n u o K
Cece is Sydney’ s happiest escort!
PUBLISH MY OW N SEX BOOK”
I
N A w orld w here
“An d a s a resu lt of that,I’m
peo ple o ften w hing e
exception ally g oo d at it.I don ’t
about their da ily
think there is an y other 1 9-year-
grind,it’s re fresh ing
old g irlou t there w ith such a
to m eetsom eone
huge collection of sex stories
w ho ca n’t w ait to g et
like m ine.I ha ve enou gh
stuck into her w ork every day. Espe cially w hen her job is w ran gling the stiffies an d putting sm iles o n the d ials of horn y blok es righ t here in Oz. Go rgeou s 19-year-old
m aterialb y now to p ub lish m y ow n sex book”
o i s yo r cal g – yo VO CA TI N you m ght say. “Well,w ho do esn ’t love an d need sex? In m y opinion the
Ge rm an C ece (that’s pron ou nced
pu rpose o f life is to m ak e o ther
‘si! si!’,as in ‘yes! yes! ’)loves
living be ing s h appy,an d I h ave
her gig as a S ydne y-base d
already do ne m y part in ha ving
esco rt,often tou ring the cou ntry
m ade lots and lots of m en super
to b ring h ap piness to the other
hap py.And I’m look ing forw ard
cap itals as w ell.
to m any m ore orgasm ic filled
“The best part abo ut sex w ork for m e is tha t I’m so w ell rew arded for doing w ha t I love, eve ry single da y,” sh e told us BETWEEN B ONKS.
years to com e!”
o yo d b e a b t of an ex pe rt a ll e la t e s t e c h es ad a n d r e n d s in h e o ld n o o k y g a m e th e n ?
35
P IN -U P
#
6
B O J
“I wo uld n’t cal l m ys e l f a n ‘e xpe r t ’. Th e r e a re jus t s o m an y way s t o p l ay, a nd I b ar e ly ha ve any experience in BDSM or pegging, for example. Hopefully others will teach me.” Don ’t ask u s.We m ust’ve m issed tho se lesson s in sex ed at sch oo l.Wh at othe r stuff gets you r LOVE MUFF IN a ll bu ttery?
“So m e p e opl e m ig ht g e t a shock but the ultimate turn-ons for me are gang-bangs and cum f a c ia l s . W h a t ’ s b e t t e r t h a n o n e sexy man? Many sexy men!” That m ake s sense.In fact, ex actly the sam e p rinciple w orks w ith beer.How have you fou nd your Oz exp erien ce?
“I fe e l g re at i n Au s t r al ia , wit h it s l aid b ack s urfe rs a nd outdoorsy blokes . I definitely prefer the Australian mindset
whe n it com e s t o s e x ual it y.” An y region al favo urites from you r trave ls?
“I fo u nd D arwin m e n ve ry sexy, and have fantasies ab out gett ing down and dirty with the tradies ther e whenever I walk p a s t t h e m . I ’m c o n s t a n t l y g e t t i ng distracte d by gorgeous m en. I love a guy in a suit, b ut I’m just as drawn to men who don’t care at all about t heir looks. I find c o n f id e n t m e n a r e t h e h o t t e s t . ” Now tell us som ething DEEP and PHILOSOPHICAL.
“The best mem ories I have ever had in my life were always sexual. The only things I deeply regret are the sexual pleasures I’ve m issed out on by the way.” That soun ds b oth m ean ing ful and horny at the sam e tim e, Cece!
Fi nd h e r a t h t t ps ://t wit t e r.c om /re ig nce ce
I LIFEW ERE ALW AYS SEXUAL”
C
AF
Alyssa has tits enough for everybody Made in
4 0
O
Gir l
ARN, lift up that jaw and roll that tongue back in ya mouth. You’re gunna need some energy if you want any kind of chance with TOP HEAVY Melburnite Alyssa. The 21-year-old YOONI student might have a coupla nerdy tattoos, one of Batman and another of some
Japanese cat, but that doesn’t mean she’s the kind oif girl to spend all day in front of a computer screen FIDDLING A JOYSTICK. “I’m very energetic in the bedroom,”boasts the young SPUNKRAT. “There’s nothing worse than boring old missionary.” t s our l l ti e f a v e ossie t en , l y s s
FI RS T TIME FLASHER!
“It depen ds on w hat kind ofm ood I’m in.S om etim es I feellike ge tting fuck ed a nd that’s w he n I w ant dog gie style.But if I feellike doing the fucking then I p refer co w girl.”
h ic h d o th e b lo k e s e n j y m o r e ? “Well,I only really can see the guys face w hen I’m doing cow girland som etim es I close m y eyes.I don ’t kn ow w hy,I’m just enjoying it so m uch I close them !”
o y o u k e t h e n a F E L L A e a s ts o n o ur B A C O N S A N D W C H ? “Who do esn’t? It’s not like m y ab solute favou rite thing,I stillp refer sex,b ut it sure is nice.”
ow
o u ld y o u r a te y o u r o w n H E A D G sk s?
“The re’s alw ays som ething to im prove u po n,b ut overallI think I’m not bad.I rea lly w ish I cou ld de ep throa t,bu t I alw ays gag – I just can’t help it!”
a y b e y o u c o u ld p r a c t c e b y e a t n g b ig g e r b a n a n a s th a n u s u a l “I did actually try to m ake m y gag reflex better by occasion ally sticking a few fing ers dow n m y throat,going de ep er ea ch tim e,b ut tha t didn ’t really seem to do m uch.”
Y o u ’r e u c k y y o u d id n t C H Y O U S E L F . h a t d o y o u lo v e m o s t abou tyour beau tbod “I know gu ys alllike m y boob s,but I love m y eyes.I like pu tting nice eye m ake -up on an d really accentuating the ir size.”
Y o u ’r e T O yss a.
a ll o v e r in o u b o o k
Made in 4 2
O
G ir
“SOMETIMES I FEELLIKE GETTING FUCKED”
Sp o t Th e D iffe S E L Z Z U P
A
B
2
D IFF ER EN C ES
C
D
3
D IFF ER EN C ES
E
4
D IFF ER EN C ES
H O W TO ENTER
G
TO BE in the running for t he $500 priz e, list the differ ences between the m atched photos eg, betw een pics A and B, C and D, and so on) . T HE N post your answer s to at Spot the Difference #141 5 C/ O TH E P ICTUR E , GP O Box 5201 , Sydney, NS W, 2000; OR email to
[email protected] with SPO T T HE DIFF E RE N CE #141 5 in the subject line.
H
D IFFERENC ES
I
J
D IFFERENC ES
* Te rm s and c on d it io ns o n pa g e 48
C S E L Z Z U P
eek
The backsides ofa row of
E R skirt,an d I’ve
never seen anything m ore
don keys (5). 3 9
1 1 a c A tabloid rag w here
foulthan the state ofh er
you S C A N T H E L E A D S to get
kn icke rs! (8).
the go ssip (7,5).
Whatyou need to keep the The gam es people play every
search ofother pussy (6). 4 6
2 2 a c They’re bits of grass
fou r years (8).
in the m iddle ofthe highw ay
See 39 across.
nota place to rip your gear
T ,R O
10 0 0
Thom as goes outatnightin
sun offyour nogg in (3).
“Let’s F A C E
w ord! ross c t s e d ru s a tra li A us
Sn ug gled Po ta nd ...Pie (7).
ACROSS 1 . I L IF T
Cr o s s
!” she
off,n aturally! (6-6).
cried.“You justw ann a do it
To m a ke h e r c he ek s tu rn
w ith m e!” (9).
R E D ,S A M
B A R E S his big
ha iry arse (11 ). It’s R A R
a girl’s sm oo is
WHEN YOU E FILLED IN THE CROSSWORD CORRECTLY, THE SHADED S UARES, READING TOP TO OTTOM, LEFT TO RIGHT, WILL RE EAL THE OW NER OF THE REASTS.
lighter than the hair on her hea d (6).
SEX ON THE BEACH, ANYONE
Her S IN G R E W the m ore she slep t arou nd (7).
he w as stilltalking (6).
She ’s not broad-m ind ed so
blood y silly na m e,w he n
Tow n in F lorida fam ou s for
you ’lln ever fi nd he r in the
eve ryon e sits in them (6).
it’s vice (5). 55
R A W
G et the C O P S O U
! H e’s g ot
his eigh t han ds everyw here!
, R O N (6).
They’re the fem ale
They a rrive w ith b ab ies a nd a
eq uivalen t of ‘hunks’.In fact
big b ill- a b it like u nw an ted
it rhym es! (6).
old girlfriends! (6).
Be cause she farts too m uch,
Sh e h ad to g ive m ilk like a
he r from eating the
On ce he had ho ld of the
AT
...o ut his fan tasy on stage
fast train (7).
(5).
bak ed on es (5).
A w hiff of pe rfum e C A N S E T
The o pp osite o f ou ter an d
“Do you com e h ere ...?” Ze ro
a feller off to the m ou nting o f
here’s a little rhym e to help,
Naked w om en h iding in the
out O F T E N for this lousy
his w om an (6).
sand D U
ch at-up line (5).
Just a pa ssing careless sh ag ,
There once was a feller called Skinner,
Lack of sigh t cau sed by
w ithou t a tie o n! (6).
Who invited a lad y to d inner
w an king or drink ing too
Whe re p igs live - a nd ,de ar
At a q uarter past nine
m uch (9).
reade rs,do n’t say ‘the
They sat dow n to dine
Wake up to yo urselfO R S U
cop sh op ’! (3).
An d b y qu arter to ten it w as
and L E E E N D S his pathetic
w illdo it for you (5).
They w ere allgorgeous but
...
drug-filled life (7).
D on ’t R G U E ,
the
The d inn er,no t Sk inn er,
58 E S (5). 59
The saucyhousew ife m ade (5).
U S
Too m any pricks in h is arm
G uys v.G irls - The Battle o f
E D ,sh e’s too
CE ST ,SA
w ith the
bloo dy you ng ! (8).
lea st gea r on (9).
Sk inn er w as ...be fore d inn er!
“He lp! Save Ou r Sex,” cried
His B IR D E N D E D the ir affair
(5).
the m en (1,1,1).
w hen he w as confin ed to the
4 . Klau s un did h is led erho sen
She m ade m e sing in a high
co t w ith a n as ty illness (9).
so that H eidicou ld L E A P I
voice b y clutch ing m y balls
When he w oke u p betrothed,
an d b low his ...h orn ! (6).
w ith her false se t o’tee th (8).
you sho uld h ave seen the
the ...(5).
63
See 46 across.
U B
on the
T
sh ag pile an d you’llg et red scratch es on you r tits! (6,5). 6 . I’m no t boa sting bu t m y ol’
feller w illhan g d ow n m y L E G ou t of m y sho rts! (6). Tell U S
U
! Is it the p lace
(7).
She R E E L S in h orror w hen he
He E N F O L D S he r in h is arm s
stares lasciviously (5).
an d strok es h er ba ckside (7).
Steam ily pu rsued he r in the
Feed a C O
E D R U M an d sh e’ll
hea t of the da y (5).
beh ave w ith little d ecen cy (7).
This little m an soun ds in
See 59 dow n.
extrem ely po or ’ea lth! (3).
an other bloo dy p lan et? (6).
How could you C O N D O M
After sh e R U N G ,
into be lieving it w as a ru bb er
lived in C rete! (7). As the co cktailw aitress sa id
had a
pa in in his gu t from no foo d
slee ping-bag for m ice? (6).
(6).
Wha t an idiot! H e C A
What a fisherm an or a
U
his ow n tool w itho ut an
to the cabb y:“Wou ld you like
foo tba ller k ee ps in his p an ts
instruction boo k! (7).
a ...,drive r?” (5).
(6).
Allthat talk ab ou t stem cell
3 . The pervertw ho open ed his
raincoat H A S F L E D (7). She w as know n as A B E D S A
because she n ever
I J UST SHIT ON THE CARPET
E G G D E A N h ad on his face!
D O W N
w he re 42d n b eg ins life or Shit! H er form er hub by once
4 6
At a foo ty stadium ,it’s a
(7).
E B A N
13
w asn ’t w earing on e (3).
Sh e too k it in the m ou th w hile
An un truth like ‘Trust m e,I’m a d octor’! (3). G uys w ith dirty ha bits w ho
Noises he m akes w hen h e’s doing it doggie-style (5).
research and the u nbo rn baby can B O R E
sock s off!
Movies for grow n-ups (5). 5 9
3 7 d n . Pe op le w ho stuff
(6).
their faces w ith the g uts to
live in m on asteries (5).
Island in G reece w he re the
prove it (3,6).
drank or ope ne d h er legs (9).
The fin ger you use to fi nge r
lesbians com e from (6).
A sw irlpoo ltha t’s grea t for
Ne stled in e ach othe r’s arm s,
or look up h er num ber (5).
The girlbe hind the
tw o or m ore (3).
U
1 16 1
2
3
4
11
5
6
7
8
9
12
14
15
10
13
16
17
18
20
19
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
30
31
29
32
33
38
39
34
35
36
37
42
4 40
41
43
44
45
4 46
47
4 48
4 49
50
5 52
5 58
6 62
53
5 54
51
55
56
59
60
63
57
61
64
T H E BO O BS BE L O N G T O . . .
SEND INTO WIN!
NAME AD D R E S S POSTCODE
S en d t h e c o m pl e te d c r os s wo r d t o :C P O
o x 4 3 0 , E a s te r n S u b u r b s
C ,
H E E K Y C R O S S S W
2 0 0 4
o .1 4 1 6
T H E P IC T U R E ,
or you won’t win anything.
Please s ee P rivacy No tice on p age 7 3.Se e pag e 73 for term s and co nd ition s ofe ntry. D o no tp rovide inform ation a bo ut m e to an y orga nisation n ot associated w ith this com petition .En tries close N ovem ber 14,20 16.A nsw ers w illap pe ar in the D ecem ber 12,20 16 issue an d the w inn er’s nam e w illbe pu blishe d in the D ecem be r 12,2016 issue .Au tho rised u nd er NS W Pe rm itN o.L TPM/15/012 04.
47
A n s w e r s , PRIVACY NOTICE
P R V A C Y N O T I C E T h i s is s u e o f T H E P C T U R E i s p u b l is h e d b y B a u e r M e d i a P t y L td (B a u e r ) . B a u e r m a y u s e a n d d is c lo s e y o u r in f o r m a t io n n a c c o r d a n c e t h o u r P r iv a c y P o c y , n c l u d in g t o p r o v id e y o u t h y o u r r e q u e s t e d p r o d u c t s o r s e rv ic e s a n d t o k e e p y o u i n fo r m e d o f o t h e r B a u e r p u b l ic a t io n s , p r o d u c t s , s e r v i c e s a n d e v e n t s . u r P r i v a c y P o l ic y is lo c a t e d a t bau er-m edia. c o m a u / p r iv a c y / It a ls o s e t s o u t o n h o w y o u c a n a c c e s s o r c o r r e c t y o u r p e r s o n a l in f o r m a t io n a n d o d g e a c o p l a in t . B a u e r m a y d i s c lo s e y o u r p e r s o n a l in f o r m a t io n o f fs h o r e t o it s o w n e r s , j in t v e n t u r e p a r t n e r s , s e rv ic e p r o v id e r s a n d a g e n t s l o c a te d t h r o u g h o u t t h e o r ld , in c l u d in g n e w Z e a l a n d , U S A , th e P h i lp p i n e s a n d t h e E u r o p e a n U n io n . n a d d i t o n , th i s is s u e m a y c o n t a in R e a d e r O f f e r s , b e i n g o f f e r s , c o m p e t i t o n s o r s u r v e y s . R e a d e r f fe r s m a y r e q u r e y o u t o p r o v id e p e r s o n a l n f o r m a t io n t o e n t e r o r to t a k e p a r t . P e r s o n a n f o r m a t io n c o l le c t e d f o r R e a d e r O f fe r s m a y b e d s c l o s e d b y u s t o s e r v ic e p r o v id e r s a s s i s t n g B a u e r i n t h e c o n d u c t o f t h e R e a d e r O f fe r a n d t o o t h e r o r g a n i s a t o n s p r o v id in g s p e c i a l p r iz e s o r o f fe r s t h a t a r e p a r t o f th e R e a d e r O f fe r . A n o p t - o u t c h o i c e is p r o v i d e d w t h a R e a d e r O f fe r . Un le s y u xe rc ise th t o t-o t ch ice , pe rs l inf rm tio n lle te d fo r R r O ffe rs a l s o b e d i s c lo s e d b y u s t o o th e r o r g a n s a t io n s f o r u s e b y t h e m t o in f o r m y o u a b o u t o t h e r p r o d u c t s , s e r v ic e s o r e v e n t s o r to g i v e t o o t h e r o r g a n s a t io n s t h a t m a y u s e t h is in f o r m a t io n f o r t h is p u r p o s e . f y o u r e q u r e f u r th e r in f o r m a t io n , p l e a s e c o n t a c t B a u e r ’ s P r i v a c y O f fi c e r e it h e r b y e m a i l a t p r iv a c y o ffi c e r @ b a u e r - m e d i a .c o m a u o r m a il a t P r iv a c y O f fi c e r B a u e r M e d i a P t y L t d , 5 4 P a r k S t re e t, S y d n e y N S W 2 0 0 0 . THE PICTURE CHEEKY CRO SS CONDITIONS OF ENTRY
1 . In f o r m a t io n o n h o w t o e n t e r a n d p r iz e s f o r m p a r t o f th e s e C o n d i t o n s o f E n t r y . 2 . E n t ry is o p e n t o re s id e n t s o f A u s t r a l a a n d e w Z e a l a n d . E n t r a n ts u n d e r 1 8 y e a r s m u s t h a v e p r io r p a r e n t a l o r le g a l g u a r d ia n c o n s e n t b e f o re e n t e r n g . E m p l o y e e s o f th e P r o m o t e r a n d t h e i r e d i a t e fa m l ie s a n d a g e n c i e s a s s o c ia t e d w t h th i s p r o m o t io n a r e in e l ig i b le t o e n t e r . 3 . P r o m o t io n c o m e n c e s O c t o b e r 1 7 , 2 0 1 6 a n d fi n a l e n t r ie s c lo s e la s t a il o n N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 1 6 ( “ P r o m o t io n a l P e r i o d ” ). T h e w n n e r w l b e d r a w n a t B a u e r M e d i a , 5 4 P a r k S t r e e t , S y d n e y , S W 2 0 0 0 , o n N o v e m b e r 1 7 , 2 0 1 6 a t 1 1 .0 0 a m A E S T ). A l l e s e x p r e s s e d in t h e s e T e r m s a n d C o n d i t o n s a r e i n A E S T o r A E S T a s a p p l ic a b l e . T h e n n e r l b e i n w r it in g t h in t w o ( 2 ) b u s i n e s s d a y s o f t h e d r a w a n d h i s /h e r n a m e w l b e p u b s h e d i n T H E P I C T U R E m a g a z i n e o n D e c e m b e r 1 2 ,2 0 1 6 . 4 . T o E n t e r , e n t r a n ts m u s t c o m p l e te t h e C h e e k y C r o s s c r o s s w o r d in d i c a te d o n t h e C h e e k y C r o s s p a g e c o r r e c t y , a n d p r o v id e t h e c o r r e c t k e y w o r d f r o m t h e p u z z l e a n d s e n d t h e c o m p l e te d c o u p o n to C H E E K Y C R O S S 1 4 1 6 , T H E P IC T U R E , P O B o x 4 3 0 , E a s te r n S u b u rb s M C , N S W 2 0 0 4 . 5 . M u l t p l e e n t r ie s p e r m t te d s u b j c t t o e a c h e n t ry m u s t b e p o s t e d in a s e p a r a t e s t a m p e d envelope. 6 . T h e j d g e s ’ d e c is io n i s fi n a l a n d b in d i n g o n a l l h o e n t e r a n d n o c o r r e s p o n d e n c e l be entered nto. 7 . T h e fi r s t (1 ) v a l d a n d c o r r e c t e n t r y d r a w n f r o m a l l v a l id e n t r ie s r e c e v e d w l l n $ 1 0 0 0 . P r iz e l b e a w a r d e d i n th e f o r m o f a c h e q u e a d e i n fa v o u r o f th e w n n e r . T h e p r i z e is n o t t r a n s f e r a b l e o r e x c h a n g e a b l e . P r i z e d o e s n o t n c l u d e a n y a n c l la r y c o s t s a s s o c i a t e d w t h r e d e e m n g t h i s p r iz e . T h e s e a r e t h e r e s p o n s ib i l t y o f t h e w n n e r . 8 . In t h e e v e n t th a t fo r a n y r e a s o n w h a t s o e v e r t h e W n n e r d o e s n o t ta k e t h e p r iz e a t th e t i s t ip u l a te d b y th e P r o m o t e r , t h e n t h e p r i z e w l l b e f o r f e it e d b y t h e W n n e r a n d c a s h w l l n o t b e a w a r d e d i n l e u o f th e p r iz e . 9 . In t h e e v e n t th a t a p r i z e , o r p a r t o f a p r iz e , is u n a v a i la b l e , th e P r o o t e r r e s e r v e s t h e r i g h t t o s u b s t it u t e t h e p r iz e o r p a r t o f th e p r i z e in t s d i s c r e t io n t h a n a l te r n a t iv e p r iz e o r p a r t o f th e p r iz e t o th e s a m e a n d e q u a l r e c o m e n d e d r e t a il v a lu e a n d / o r s p e c ifi c a t io n s u b j c t to a n y r it te n d ir e c t o n s f ro m t h e v a r io u s L o t te r y D e p a r t m e n t s . 1 0 . T h e p r o m o t e r is n e t h e r r e s p o n s i b l e n o r l ia b l e f o r a n y l a te l o s t o r m s d i r e c t e d m a i l ( in c l u d i n g b u t n o t li m i te d t o p r i z e s ) . 1 1 . T h e P r o m o t e r is n o t re s p o n s b l e n o r l ia b l e f o r a n y p r i z e d a m a g e d i n tr a n s i t n t h e d e l iv e r y o f their prize. 1 2 . P r i n t in g a n d o t h e r q u a l it y c o n t r o l e r r o r s w l l n o t in v a l id a t e a n o t h e r w s e v a l id p r iz e c l a i m . I t h e e v e n t o f a q u e r y a s t o th e v a l id i ty o f a n e n t r y , t h e j d g e s w l l d e t e r m n e w h e t h e r o r n o t th e e n t r y is t o b e d e e e d v a l id , ta k i n g i n t o c o n s i d e r a t io n a l l t ig a t in g c i r c u m s t a n c e s a n d k n o w e d g e a v a i a b l e t o th e m a t th e t i e o f t h e j d g n g . N o c o r r e s p o n d e n c e l b e e n t e r e d in t o . 1 3 . In t h e e v e n t o f u n o r e s e e n c ir c u m s t a n c e s , w a r , te r r o r is m , s ta t e o f e m e r g e n c y o r d i s a s te r ( in c l u d i n g b u t n o t l i t e d t o n a t u r a l d is a s t e r ) th e P r o o t e r r e s e r v e s t h e r i g h t to s u b j c t t r e f e r e n c e t o a l l r e l e v a n t s t a t e a n d t e r r it o r y r u le s a n d r e g u l a t o n s , t o c a n c e l , t e r m n a t e , m o d i f or suspend he p rom ot on. 1 4 . If a m e d i c a l c ir c u m s t a n c e i n s o m e w a y r e s t r ic t s y o u r a b i l t y t o e n t e r th e c o p e t it io n t h r o u g h t h e r e q u r e d m e c h a n i c , y o u a r e s t il l e l ig i b le t o e n t e r h o w e v e r y o u m u s t b r ie fl y s t a te y o u c ir c u m s t a n c e s u p o n e n t r y . 1 5 . If y o u r e n t r y is s e l e c te d a s a n n n g e n t r y , va l id a t io n o f y o u r c r c u m s t a n c e s / t h e v a l id i ty o f y o u r e n t ry w l l b e u n d e r t a k e n b y t h e P r o m o t e r . e t h o d o f v a l d a t io n ( w t h o u t l i t a t o n ) w l l b e d e t e r m n e d b y t h e P r o m o t e r in i ts c o m p l e te d i s c r e t o n . If th e w n n i n g e n t ry is d e e e d t o b e n n e r , t h e w n n e r w l l b e n o t ifi e d a s p e r th e t e r m s a n d c o n d i t o n s h e r e n . In t h e e v e n t th a t t h e P r o o t e r r e q u e s t s th e e n t r a n t to s i g n a n y l e g a l d o c u e n t s re l a t in g t o t h e v e r i fi c a t io n o f t h e i r e d i c a l c ir c u m s t a n c e , t h e le g a l d o c u m e n t s w l ta k e t h e f o r m d e t e r m n e d b y t h e P r o m o t e r . t i a c o n d it io n o f a c c e p t in g t h e p r iz e t h e w n n e r s ig n a n y s u c h l e g a l d o c u m e n t a t io n . 1 6 . T h e P r o m o t e r a y c o n d u c t s u c h f u r th e r d r a w s a t t h e s a m e p l a c e a s th e o r ig i n a l d r a w a n d 1 .0 0 p m a s a r e n e c e s s a r y o n J a n u a r y 2 , 2 0 1 7 i n o r d e r t o d is t r b u t e a n y p r i ze s w h i c h r e m a i u n c l a i e d b y t h a t d a t e s u b j c t to r e f e r e n c e t o a l l r e l e v a n t s t a t e a n d t e r r it o r y a u t h o r i t e s . T h e n n e r w l l b e n o t ifi e d in w r it in g w t h in t w o d a y s o f t h e d r a w a n d l l b e p u b l is h e d i n P i c tu r e a g a z in e o n a r c h 6 , 2 0 1 7 . 1 7 . N o t h in g n t h e s e T e r m s a n d C o n d i t o n s t s ,e x c l u d e s o r o d i fi e s o r p u r p o r t s t o l t , e x c l u d e o r m o d i fy th e s t a tu t o r y c o n s u e r g u a r a n t e e s a s p r o v id e d u n d e r t h e C o p e t it io n a n C o n s u m e r A c t , a s w e l l a s a n y o t h e r i p l ie d w a r r a n t ie s u n d e r th e A S I C A c t o r s i a r c o n s u m e r p r o t e c t io n l a w s in t h e S t a t e a n d T e r r i to r ie s o f A u s t r a l a ( “ o n - E x c l u d a b l e G u a r a n t e e s ” ) . E x c e p t f o r a n y l a b i l t y t h a t c a n n o t b y la w b e e x c l u d e d , n c l u d i n g t h e N o n - E x c l u d a b l e G u a r a n t e e s , th e P r o o t e r ( in c l u d i n g i ts r e s p e c t iv e o f fi c e r s , e m p l o y e e s a n d a g e n t s ) e x c lu d e s a l l l ia b i l t y ( in c l u d i n g n e g l ig e n c e ) , f o r a n y p e r s o n a l in j r y ; o r a n y l o s s o r d a m a g e ( in c l u d i n g l o s s o f o p p o r t u n i ty ); w h e t h e r d r e c t , n d r e c t , s p e c ia l o r c o n s e q u e n t ia l , a r i s in g n a n y w a y o u t o f th e prom ot on. 1 8 . E x c e p t fo r a n y l a b i l t y th a t c a n n o t b y la w b e e x c l u d e d , n c l u d i n g t h e N o n - E x c l u d a b G u a r a n t e e s , t h e P r o m o t e r ( n c l u d in g t s r e s p e c t iv e o f fi c e r s , e m p l o y e e s a n d a g e n t s ) s n o t r e s p o n s i b l e f o r a n d e x c l u d e s a l l l ia b i l t y ( n c l u d i n g n e g l ig e n c e ) , f o r a n y p e r s o n a l in j r y ; o r a n y l o s s o r d a m a g e ( in c l u d i n g l o s s o f o p p o r t u n i ty ) ; h e t h e r d i r e c t, in d r e c t , s p e c ia l o r c o n s e q u e n t ia l , a r is i n g in a n y w a y o u t o f: ( a ) a n y t e c h n i c a l d if fi c u l t e s o r e q u p m e n t m a l fu n c t io n ( w h e t h e r o r n o t u n d e r th e P r o m o t e r ’s c o n t ro l ); ( b ) a n y t h e f t , u n a u t h o r is e d a c c e s s o r th i r d p a r t y n t e r f e r e n c e ; ( c ) a n y e n t r y o r p r iz e c l a i m t h a t is l a t e , l o s t, a lt e r e d , d a m a g e d o r m s d i r e c t e d h e t h e r o r n o t a f te r t h e ir r e c e ip t b y t h e P r o m o t e r ) d u e t o a n y r e a s o n b e y o n d t h e r e a s o n a b c o n t r o l o f th e P r o m o t e r ; ( d ) a n y v a r ia t io n i n p r i z e v a lu e t o t h a t s t a t e d in t h e s e T e r m s a n o n d i t io n s ; (e ) a n y t a x l ia b i lt y in c u r r e d b y a w n n e r o r e n t r a n t ; o r ( f) u s e o f th e p r i z e . 1 9 . If th i s p r o m o t io n i s in t e r f e r e d w t h in a n y w a y o r i s n o t c a p a b l e o f b e i n g c o n d u c t e d a r e a s o n a b y a n t ic ip a t e d d u e t o a n y r e a s o n b e y o n d t h e r e a s o n a b e c o n t ro l o f t h e P r o m o t e r , t h e P r o o t e r r e s e r v e s t h e r ig h t , n i ts s o l e d i s c r e t o n , to t h e f u ll e s t e x t e n t p e r m t te d b y l a w : (a ) t o d i s q u a l if y a n y e n t r a n t ; o r ( b ) s u b j c t to a n y w r it te n d i r e c t o n s f ro m a r e g u l a t o r y a u t h o r i ty , t o d i fy , s u s p e n d , t e r m n a t e o r c a n c e l t h e p r o m o t io n , a s a p p r o p r ia t e . 2 0 . T h e P r o m o t e r c o l e c t s p e r s o n a l in f o r m a t io n i n o r d e r t o c o n d u c t th e p r o m o t io n a n d m a y , f o r t h is p u r p o s e , d is c l o s e s u c h n f o r m a t io n t o t h ir d p a r t ie s , in c l u d i n g b u t n o t l t e d t o a g e n t s , c o n t r a c to r s , s e r v ic e p r o v i d e r s , p r iz e s u p p l ie r s a n d , a s r e q u i r e d , to A u s t r a l ia n r e g u l a to r y a u t h o r it ie s . E n t r y is c o n d i t o n a l o n p r o v i d in g t h is in f o r m a t io n . T h e P r o o t e r m a y , fo r a n n d e fi n t e p e r io d , u n l e s s o t h e r w s e a d v is e d , u s e t h e i n f o r m a t io n f o r p r o m o t io n a l , a r k e t i n g , p u b l ic i ty , r e s e a r c h a n d p r o fi l in g p u r p o s e s , n c l u d i n g s e n d i n g e l e c t ro n c m e s s a g e s o r t e le p h o n n g t h e e n t r a n t . E n t r a n t s s h o u d d i r e c t a n y r e q u e s t to o p t o u t , a c c e s s , u p d a t e o r c o r r e c t n f o r m a t io n t o th e P r o m o t e r . A l l e n t r ie s b e c o m e t h e p r o p e r ty o f t h e P r o m o t e r . 2 1 . A l l e n t r ie s b e c o m e t h e p r o p e r t y o f th e P r o m o t e r . T h e c o l le c t io n , u s e a n d d is c lo s u r e o f p e r s o n a l i n fo r m a t io n p r o v id e d n c o n n e c t io n t h t h is p r o m o t io n s g o v e r n e d b y t h e P r i va c y o t ic e ( s e e C o n t e n t s P a g e f o r lo c a t io n i n t h is is s u e ) . 2 2 . B y e n t e r in g t h i s p r o m o t io n , t h e e n t r a n t c o n s e n t s to r e c e i p t o f a n y e m a il re g a r d i n g t h e p r o m o t io n , a n d o t h e r e m a i s w h i c h n f o r m t h e e n t r a n t o f th e P r o m o t e r ’s o t h e r p u b l ic a t io n s , p r o d u c t s , s e r v ic e s a n d e v e n t s a n d t o p r o m o t e th i rd p a r ty g o o d s a n d s e r v ic e s i t a y b e nterested n. 2 3 . T h e P r o m o t e r is B a u e r M e d i a L i t e d (A B N 1 8 0 5 3 2 7 3 5 4 6 ) o f 5 4 – 5 8 P a r k S t r e e t, S y d n e y , SW 2000. Phone: 9282 8000. 2 4 . A u t h o r is e d u n d e r p e r m t n u m b e r : S W P e r m t o . L T P M / 1 5 /0 1 2 0 4 . THE PICTURE SPOT THE DIFFERENCE C ONDITIONS OF ENTRY
1 . In f o r m a t io n o n h o w t o e n t e r a n d p r i z e s fo r m p a r t o f th e s e C o n d t io n s o f E n t r y . P a r t ic ip a t i o n i t h is p r o m o t io n i s d e e m e d a c c e p t a n c e o f th e s e t e r s a n d c o n d i t o n s . 2 . E n t ry is o p e n t o re s id e n t s o f A u s t r a l a a n d e w Z e a l a n d . E n t r a n ts u n d e r 1 8 y e a r s m u s t h a v e p r io r p a r e n t a l o r le g a l g u a r d ia n c o n s e n t b e f o re e n t e r n g . E m p l o y e e s o f th e P r o m o t e r a n d t h e i r e d i a t e fa m l ie s a n d a g e n c i e s a s s o c ia t e d w t h th i s p r o m o t io n a r e in e l ig i b le t o e n t e r . 3 . 3 . P r o m o t io n c o m e n c e s O c t o b e r 1 7 , 2 0 1 6 a n d fi n a l e n t r e s c lo s e l a s t a il o n N o v e m b e r 1 4 , 2 0 1 6 ( “ P r o m o t io n a l P e r i o d ” ). T h e w n n e r w l b e d r a w n a t B a u e r M e d i a , 5 4 P a r k S t r e e t , S y d n e y , S W 2 0 0 0 , o n N o v e m b e r 1 7 , 2 0 1 6 a t 1 1 .0 0 a m A E S T ). A l l e s e x p r e s s e d in t h e s e T e r m s a n d C o n d i t o n s a r e i n A E S T o r A E S T a s a p p l ic a b l e . T h e n n e r l b e i n w r it in g t h in t w o ( 2 ) b u s i n e s s d a y s o f t h e d r a w a n d h i s /h e r n a m e w l b e p u b s h e d i n T H E P I C T U R E m a g a z i n e o n D e c e m b e r 1 2 ,2 0 1 6 .
4 8
4 . T o E n t e r , E n t ra n t s m u s t c o m p l e te t h e S p o t T h e D e r e n c e p u z z le p a g e c o r r e c t ly a n d s e n d t h e c o m p le t e d c o u p o n to S P O T T H E D F F E R E C E 1 4 1 6 , T H E P IC T U R E , P O B o x 4 2 9 , E a s t e r Suburbs MC, NSW 2004. 5 . M u t ip l e e n t r e s p e r m t te d s u b j c t t o e a c h e n t ry m u s t b e p o s t e d in a s e p a r a t e s t a m p e d e n v e l o p e . T h e P r o m o t e r is n e t h e r r e s p o n s i b l e n o r l ia b l e f o r la t e o r m s d i r e c t e d e n t r ie s , n c l u d i n g b u t n o t l i t e d t o t h e c o s t o f s e n d i n g t h e e n t r y v ia e x p r e s s p o s t , r e g i s te r e d p o s t o r c o u r ie r . T h e s e c o s t s a r e t h e r e s p o n s b i l t y o f t h e w n n e r . 6 . T h e j d g e s ’ d e c i s io n s fi n a l a n d n o c o r r e s p o n d e n c e l be entered into. 5 . T h e fi r s t (1 ) v a l d a n d c o r r e c t e n t r y d r a w n f r o m a l l v a l id e n t r ie s r e c e v e d w l l n $ 5 0 0 – P r iz e l b e a w a r d e d i n th e f o r m o f a c h e q u e a d e i n fa v o u r o f th e w n n e r . T h e p r iz e is n o t t ra n s f e r a b l e o r e x c h a n g e a b l e . P r i z e d o e s n o t n c l u d e a n y a n c il la r y c o s t s a s s o c i a t e d w t h r e d e e n g t h is p r i z e . T h e s e a r e t h e r e s p o n s b i l t y o f t h e w n n e r . 6 . In t h e e v e n t th a t fo r a n y r e a s o n h a t s o e v e r t h e W n n e r d o e s n o t ta k e t h e p r iz e a t t h e t s t ip u l a te d b y th e P r o m o t e r , t h e n t h e p r iz e w l l b e f o r f e it e d b y t h e W n n e r a n d c a s h l l n o t b e aw arde d in leu o f the prize. 7 . In t h e e v e n t th a t a p r i z e , o r p a r t o f a p r iz e , is u n a v a l a b l e , t h e P r o m o t e r r e s e r v e s t h e r i g h t t o s u b s t it u t e t h e p r iz e o r p a r t o f th e p r i z e in i t s d i s c r e t o n t h a n a l te r n a t iv e p r iz e o r p a r t o f th e p r iz e t o th e s a m e a n d e q u a l re c o m e n d e d r e t a il v a lu e a n d / o r s p e c ifi c a t io n s u b j c t to a n y r it te n d i r e c t io n s f r o m t h e v a r io u s L o t t e r y e p a r t m e n t s . 8 . T h e p r o o t e r is n e t h e r r e s p o n s i b l e n o r l ia b l e f o r a n y l a t e lo s t o r m s d i r e c t e d m a i l ( in c l u d i n g b u t n o t l i i te d t o p r iz e s ) . 9 . T h e P r o m o t e r is n o t r e s p o n s i b le n o r l a b l e f o r a n y p r i z e d a m a g e d i n t ra n s it in t h e d e l iv e r y o f their prize 1 0 . P r i n t in g a n d o t h e r q u a l it y c o n t r o l e r r o r s w l l n o t i n v a l id a t e a n o t h e r w s e v a l id p r iz e c l a i m . I t h e e v e n t o f a q u e r y a s t o t h e v a l id i ty o f a n e n t r y , t h e j d g e s w l l d e t e r m n e w h e t h e r o r n o t th e e n t r y is t o b e d e e e d v a l id , ta k i n g i n t o c o n s i d e r a t io n a l l t ig a t i n g c ir c u m s t a n c e s a n d k n o w e d g e a v a i a b l e to t h e m a t th e t i e o f t h e j d g n g . N o c o r r e s p o n d e n c e l b e e n t e r e d in t o . 1 1 . In t h e e v e n t o f u n f o re s e e n c ir c u m s t a n c e s , w a r , te r r o r is m , s ta t e o f e m e r g e n c y o r d i s a s te r n c l u d i n g b u t n o t l t e d t o n a t u r a l d is a s t e r ) th e P r o o t e r r e s e r v e s t h e r ig h t to s u b j c t t o r e f e r e n c e t o a l l r e l e v a n t s t a t e a n d t e r r it o r y r u le s a n d r e g u l a t o n s , t o c a n c e l , t e r m n a t e , m o d i f o r s u s p e n d h e p r o m o t io n . 1 2 . If a m e d i c a l c ir c u m s t a n c e i n s o m e w a y r e s t r ic t s y o u r a b i l t y to e n t e r th e c o p e t i to n t h r o u g h t h e r e q u r e d m e c h a n c , y o u a r e s t il l e l ig i b le t o e n t e r h o w e v e r y o u m u s t b r ie fl y s t a te y o u r c ir c u m s t a n c e s u p o n e n t r y . 1 3 . If y o u r e n t r y is s e l e c t e d a s a n n n g e n t ry , v a l d a t io n o f y o u r c i r c u m s t a n c e s / th e v a l id i ty o f y o u r e n t r y l l b e u n d e r t a k e n b y t h e P r o m o t e r . e t h o d o f v a l d a t io n ( w t h o u t l i t a t io n ) w l l b e d e t e r m n e d b y t h e P r o m o t e r in i ts c o m p l e te d i s c r e t o n . If th e n n i n g e n t ry is d e e e d t o b e a n n e r ,t h e w n n e r l b e n o t ifi e d a s p e r t h e t e r m s a n d c o n d t io n s h e r e i n . n t h e e v e n t th a t t h e P r o o t e r r e q u e s t s th e e n t r a n t to s i g n a n y l e g a l d o c u e n t s r e l a t in g t o t h e v e r i fi c a t io n o f t h e i r e d i c a l c ir c u m s t a n c e , t h e le g a l d o c u m e n t s w l ta k e t h e fo r m d e t e r m n e d b y t h e P r o m o t e r . t i a c o n d i to n o f a c c e p t in g t h e p r iz e t h e w n n e r s ig n a n y s u c h l e g a l d o c u m e n t a t o n . 1 4 . T h e P r o m o t e r a y c o n d u c t s u c h f u r th e r d r a w s a t t h e s a m e p l a c e a s th e o r ig in a l d r a w a n d 1 .0 0 p m a s a r e n e c e s s a r y o n J a n u a r y 2 , 2 0 1 7 in o r d e r t o d is t r b u t e a n y p r i ze s w h ic h r e m a i u n c l a i e d b y t h a t d a t e s u b j c t t o r e fe r e n c e t o a l l r e le v a n t s t a t a n d t e rr it o r a u t h o r it ie s . T h
n n e r w l l b e n o t ifi e d in w r it in g w t h in t w o d a y s o f t h e d r a w a n d l l b e p u b l is h e d i n P i c tu r e a g a z in e o n a r c h 6 , 2 0 1 7 . 1 5 . N o t h in g n t h e s e T e r m s a n d C o n d it io n s t s , e x c l u d e s o r o d i fi e s o r p u r p o r t s to l i t , e x c l u d e o r m o d i fy th e s t a tu t o r y c o n s u e r g u a r a n t e e s a s p r o v id e d u n d e r t h e C o p e t it io n a n C o n s u m e r A c t , a s w e l l a s a n y o t h e r i p l ie d w a r r a n t ie s u n d e r t h e A S I C A c t o r s i a r c o n s u m e r p r o t e c t io n l a w s in t h e S t a t e a n d T e r r i to r ie s o f A u s t r a l a ( “ o n - E x c l u d a b l e G u a r a n t e e s ” ) . E x c e p t f o r a n y l a b i l t y t h a t c a n n o t b y la w b e e x c l u d e d , n c l u d i n g t h e N o n - E x c l u d a b l e G u a r a n t e e s , th e P r o o t e r ( in c l u d i n g i ts r e s p e c t iv e o f fi c e r s , e m p l o y e e s a n d a g e n t s ) e x c lu d e s a l l a b i l t y ( in c l u d i n g n e g l ig e n c e ) , f o r a n y p e r s o n a l n j r y ; o r a n y lo s s o r d a m a g e ( in c l u d i n g l o s s o f o p p o r t u n i ty ); w h e t h e r d r e c t , n d r e c t , s p e c i a l o r c o n s e q u e n t i a l, a r is i n g i n a n y a y o u t o f th e prom ot on. 1 6 . E x c e p t fo r a n y l a b i l t y th a t c a n n o t b y l a w b e e x c l u d e d , n c l u d i n g t h e N o n - E x c l u d a b l e u a r a n t e e s , t h e P r o m o t e r ( n c l u d i n g i ts r e s p e c t i v e o f fi c e r s , e m p l o y e e s a n d a g e n t s ) s n o t r e s p o n s i b l e f o r a n d e x c l u d e s a l l l ia b i l t y ( n c l u d i n g n e g l ig e n c e ) , f o r a n y p e r s o n a l i n j r y ; o r a n l o s s o r d a m a g e ( in c l u d i n g l o s s o f o p p o r t u n i ty ); w h e t h e r d r e c t , n d r e c t , s p e c ia l o r c o n s e q u e n t ia l , a r i s in g i n a n y w a y o u t o f: ( a ) a n y t e c h n i c a l d i ffi c u l te s o r e q u p m e n t m a l fu n c t io n ( w h e t h e r o r n o t u n d e r th e P r o m o t e r ’s c o n t ro l ); ( b ) a n y t h e f t , u n a u t h o r is e d a c c e s s o r th i r d p a r t y n t e r f e r e n c e ; ( c ) a n y e n t r y o r p r iz e c l a i m t h a t is l a t e , l o s t, a lt e r e d , d a m a g e d o r m s d i r e c t e d h e t h e r o r n o t a f te r t h e ir r e c e ip t b y t h e P r o m o t e r ) d u e t o a n y r e a s o n b e y o n d t h e r e a s o n a b c o n t r o l o f th e P r o m o t e r ; ( d ) a n y v a r ia t io n i n p r i z e v a l u e t o th a t s t a t e d in t h e s e T e r m s a n o n d i t io n s ; (e ) a n y t a x l ia b i lt y in c u r r e d b y a w n n e r o r e n t r a n t ; o r ( f) u s e o f th e p r i z e . 1 7 . If th i s p r o m o t io n i s in t e r f e r e d w t h in a n y w a y o r i s n o t c a p a b l e o f b e i n g c o n d u c t e d a s r e a s o n a b y a n t ic ip a t e d d u e t o a n y r e a s o n b e y o n d t h e r e a s o n a b e c o n t ro l o f t h e P r o m o t e r , t h e P r o o t e r r e s e r v e s t h e r ig h t , n i ts s o l e d i s c r e t o n , t o t h e f u l le s t e x t e n t p e r m t te d b y l a w : (a ) t o d i s q u a l if y a n y e n t r a n t ; o r ( b ) s u b j c t t o a n y w r it te n d i r e c t o n s f ro m a r e g u l a t o r y a u t h o r i ty , t o d i fy , s u s p e n d , t e r m n a t e o r c a n c e l t h e p r o m o t io n , a s a p p r o p r ia t e . 1 8 . T h e P r o m o t e r c o l e c t s p e r s o n a l in f o r m a t io n i n o r d e r t o c o n d u c t th e p r o m o t io n a n d m a y , f o r t h is p u r p o s e , d is c l o s e s u c h n f o r m a t io n t o t h ir d p a r t ie s , in c l u d i n g b u t n o t l i t e d t o a g e n t s , c o n t r a c to r s , s e r v ic e p r o v i d e r s , p r iz e s u p p l ie r s a n d , a s r e q u i r e d , to A u s t r a l ia n r e g u l a to r y a u t h o r it ie s . E n t r y is c o n d i t o n a l o n p r o v id i n g t h is i n fo r m a t io n . T h e P r o o t e r m a y , fo r a n n d e fi n t e p e r io d , u n l e s s o t h e r w s e a d v is e d , u s e t h e i n f o r m a t io n f o r p r o m o t io n a l , a r k e t i n g , p u b l ic i ty , r e s e a r c h a n d p r o fi l in g p u r p o s e s , n c l u d i n g s e n d i n g e l e c t ro n i c m e s s a g e s o r t e le p h o n n g t h e e n t r a n t . E n t r a n t s s h o u l d d ir e c t a n y r e q u e s t to o p t o u t , a c c e s s , u p d a t e o r c o r r e c t n f o r m a t io n t o th e P r o m o t e r . A l l e n t r ie s b e c o m e t h e p r o p e r ty o f t h e P r o m o t e r . 1 9 . A l l e n t r ie s b e c o m e t h e p r o p e r t y o f th e P r o m o t e r . T h e c o l le c t io n , u s e a n d d i s c lo s u r e o f p e r s o n a l i n fo r m a t io n p r o v id e d n c o n n e c t io n t h t h is p r o m o t io n s g o v e r n e d b y t h e P r i va c y o t ic e ( s e e C o n t e n t s P a g e f o r lo c a t io n i n t h is is s u e ) . 2 0 . B y e n t e r in g t h i s p r o m o t io n , t h e e n t r a n t c o n s e n t s to r e c e i p t o f a n y e m a i l r e g a r d i n g t h e p r o m o t io n , a n d o t h e r e m a i s w h i c h in f o r m t h e e n t r a n t o f th e P r o m o t e r ’s o t h e r p u b l ic a t io n s , p r o d u c t s , s e r v ic e s a n d e v e n t s a n d t o p r o m o t e th i rd p a r ty g o o d s a n d s e r v ic e s i t a y b e n t e r e s te d i n . 2 1 . T h e P r o m o t e r is B a u e r M e d i a L i t e d (A B N 1 8 0 5 3 2 7 3 5 4 6 ) o f 5 4 – 5 8 P a r k S t r e e t, S y d n e y , S W 2 0 0 0 . P h o n e : 9 2 8 2 8 0 0 0 . 2 2 . A u t h o r is e d u n d e r p e r m t n u m b e r s : S W P e r m t N o . L T P M 1 5 / 0 1 2 0 4 .
C HEEKYC RO SS SO LUTIO N - THE TITS BELO NG TO: TAYLO R
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L A T E S T WIN N E R S SPOT TH E DIFFERENC E
1412 - B.B, NARRAW ALLEE , NSW
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1412 - F.V , MARRICK
ILLE, NSW
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S S I K N A I L A R A US T
wn under. do ne do ts i t bu , ss i k h nc Fre a e i L ik tra us lian k A
E R B Y P L A Y
M y a z i e s t Fuc
W E L COM E T O T H E J U N GL E
M
E AND m y girlw ere going to a fancy
w hen I started to gruntand poke her tit.
like w e w ere a prim itive jun gle couple atthe
dressparty,and since itw as sum m er
Janey gotinto itand m ade som e grunting
daw n oftim e.AsI upped the pace ofm y
and stinking hotw e thoughtw e’d go
noises and played w ith m y dick.
strokes w e both m ade m ore grunting and
as Tarzan and Jane,so thatw ayw e w ouldn’t
When I exp lored furthe r,I fou nd he r little
have to w eartoo m uch.Mygirl’s nam e is
m ootw as allw etand dripping underh er
actually Jane y,too,so that w as w ay cool.
loincloth,w hich im m ediately m ade m e pitch
When w e gotthere the party had spilled into the backyard,w here there w as this huge
a tentin m ine. We’ve alw ays been a pretty horny couple,
gibbering noises,and Janey shoved her hips back atm e and rotated herarse. Her juices w ere alreadyrunning dow n m y thighs and I felta big load com ing,so as I cam e I letoutm y bestTarzan callthatcould
tree,an d since thing s w ere getting a little
so w e really gotinto it,and then I figured out
dull,after a few drinks m e and Janey decided
thatifJaneyjustgoton her hands and knees
Everyone looked up atus,saw w hatw e
to clim b up the tree and actoutourJane and
along this big fucken branch,I could fuck her
w ere doing,and gave a bitofa cheer.I think
Tarzan fan tasy.
from behind.
w e w ere the hitofthe party.
We took a bottle ofw ine and w ere sitting on a bran ch checking outthe action below
I steadied m yselfw ith m y hands and shoved m y dick up h er and sud den ly itw as
probably have been heard three blocks aw ay.
ROD KI
ROV E
T H E S L ID E R
G irls, sen d us a n ud e or topless ph oto of y ourself to run a long w ith y our fuck story an d w e ll pay y ou $250!
N E su m m e r I w a s h o use -
O
sha ring w ith a few pe op le,
SCORE
am ong the m w as this hot hipp ie
bab e called Ann a. Sh e w as o ne of tho se clothe s-free types w ho w as alw ays w andering grou se b ut frus trating ’cos I w asn’t getting any of it. On e d ay w he n it w as stink ing ho t an d it w as just the tw o of us a t ho m e,
prosecu tion. I give perm ission form y photo to be used on the Internet.
Tick ifyou d o not w ish us to provide inform ation ab out you to any o rgan isation not associated w ith this com petiti on.
NAME ADDR ESS
c o r e $ 5 0 if e p b l s h y o r h o t o n k i a le a k e s u r e i s n o lo n g e r a n 3 0 0 o r d s , a n d in c lu d e y o u r c u r re n t a d d r e s s a n d p h o n e n u b e r .L e t e r s a y b e d r c ri y.
she cam e in to the loun geroom nud e, drying h erse lf w ith a tow el an d com plaining ab ou t the he at. Righ t the n I ha d a b rainw ave.We had a big ba ckyard,an d I had these
I herebygive THE PICTURE m agazine the righttopublish one ofthe enclosedphotosofm e.Iam over18 yearsofage. Any personssending F***Pix photos w ithoutthew ri tten perm ission ofthe subjectw illbe liable to crim inal
$250
around the h ouse naked,w hich w as
E a ch p h oto m u st b e s ig n e d o n th e back by the F*** Pix girlin the photo. Please include yourphone num ber a n d a co p y o f yo u r p h o to ID .
DATE OF BIRTH PHONE
POSTCODE
SIGNATURE
sh eets on industrial-strength p lastic I’d k nocke d o ff from a b uilding site. I im m ediately put m y idea of a
Y O U L IT T L E D E V IL !
nude slip ‘n’slide to An na,a nd sh e w as into it,so I pe gg ed ou t the plastic,p ut the hose on it an d w e w ere aw ay.We had a coup le of goes each solo,and then I suggested w e ha ve a go tog ethe r. With m e on m y back and Anna lying face dow n on top of m e,w e did one
I
USE D to b e a fan ofcrazy sheilas.In m y
dow n to see m y dick ploug hing in a nd out of
the sack.
her cute red bush,w hich m ade m e go even
Julie cau ghtm y eye,’cos sh e w as tall,had lots ofred h air and w ore cap es and crazy shit thatm ade her look like a w itch.
slide giggling like little kids,and w hen w e w ent back for another go, she got a w icked look in her eye an d m assaged m y cock u ntil it got hard, straddled m e and w edged it up her hairy h ippie vag ina. She pu shed off and as w e slid I
Fu nn y thing is,she w as! At least,she reckoned she w as,and I w ent along w ith it ’cos I figu red she’d b e dyna m ite in b ed. So w hen she ask ed m e to he r joint for a
som ething great,so for the ne xt ho ur or so w e p erfected ou r slip ‘n’sliding fuck tech niqu e.
daggers in the shape o fa pen tagram . She told m e I’d h ave to p enetrate her w hile sh e intoned the secret w ords thatw ould sum m on up the
We tried it w ith her sitting on m e reverse cow girlan d stee ring m e like I w as a sled,w hich w as a beauty,and 69-style,w hich w as a b it da ng erou s ’cos I thou gh t she w as gu nn a bite m y cock off.
devil,and a bun ch o fother gibberish I didn ’tcatch ’cos I w as con centrating on that w ord “pen etrate.” We go tnaked and lay on the floor in the m idd le ofallthe paraphernalia, and I gave her furry red sm oo a
Then w e tried one w ith he r
serious tong uing,w hich soon h ad her
underneath and m e betw een her leg s,b ut w e d idn’t slide very fair an d en ded up getting stuck halfw ay dow n. D idn ’t m atter,b ut – w e just stayed
w rithing aroun d an d m um bling shit about“dark lords” an d “eternal flam es”.I took thatas a sign I shou ld give her som e dick,so I eased m yself
there a nd fucke d.
up betw een her legs,grabbed her
Top arvo,tha t. M
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LD
That killed the m ood for m e,and m y spoof just sorta trickled ou tan d on to h er pubes. She kep tm um bling and tw itching w hile I From then o n I’ve stuck w ith sane w om en.
goblets an d a b un ch ofp lastic
w e both knew w e w ere onto
that chick in The E xorcist.
I w as w illing to g o a lon g w ith itifthere w as a
along w ith posters ofdem ons,fake gold
top.B y the tim e w e go to the bottom
Bu tjust as I w as abo ut to blow m y load I looked u p a ther face and she looked a bitlike
grabbe d m y jocks and jean s and scarpered.
Sh e’d b un ged ca nd les in p lastic sku lls,
an d grab bing as sh e tried to s tay on
fucke n harder.
w itches’m ass and orgy I w as u p for it.Well, root involved .
cou ld feel he r cun t m uscles flexing
With her legs over m y shoulders,I look ed
exp erien ce the y w ere usually pretty hot in
knees a nd slid m y throbbe r into her, w hich seem ed to send the w itch even crazier.
B R , P R A HR A
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S E N D U S Y O U R J P E G S ! Seen som ething HIGH-LARIOUS on the w orld w ide w eb lately?TagitINTERNUTTERS,forw ard itto picture @bauer-media.com.au and ifw e piss ourselves laug hing w e justm igh trun itin the m agazine.G eto n it!
U E S T W I T I O L H L N A T O C 0 H S F E S T S T H Y M L E A E K W B E I G A E E M C O K U M F F E B : A C K ?
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“I’ m very wi ld in bed ,” taunt s in ked -up 25-year-o ld stay -at-home mu m B amb i. “I lo ve th e hair-pul li ng and slappi ng th e arse. It has to be rough.” Whatis itabout getting rough thatMO ISTE NS YO U R M U F F ? “It
mak es me so horny. It just turns me on heaps. M y favourite position is doggy;I love my arse being grabbed. I h av e n o sh am e. I w ou ld h av e s ex any time, it doesn’t matter who is around.” Whose seen you atit? “Friend s. I’ve had threesomes.” Two other girls? Two guys? O ne ofeach? “A ll of th e abov e. I li ke to try different things all the time when it comesto the bedroom. I love exploring.” L L E VE R
7 0 S -S T Y L
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magshop.com.au/ the-picture or call 136 116 uote M1601PIC )
Offervalid forAustralian residents only. Offer valid between the 28/12/2015. and 31/12/2016. Please allow two to three weeks fordelivery of yourfirst issue. For full terms and conditions see https://www.magshop.com.au/the-picture and https://www.magshop.com.au/people-magazine. For Bauer Media’ s privacy notice, please visit http://www.bauer-media.com.au/privacy/. The Promoteris Ba uer Media Pty Ltd (ABN 18 053 2 3 546 ).
Short terms
H o m e G ir ls Im
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“ I ’m a n a s p i n g b o d y p i e rc e r ” s a y s 1 9 - y e a o ld J a s n e A n n . “ I h a v e a s ex y u n d e rb o o b at o a d a ton e p erci We hope you put the latter to good use. “ I m n lo v e w b o d y o d c a t o n ; o m a t o o s a n d p ie rc in g
o p l a n ts a n d s c a r c a t o n . m a b o u t g o u n d e r th e s c a lp e l a n d g e t a s c a r i c a t o n p i e c e o n y le f t a r m . I h a v e 1 0 p e r c in g s : p s a b e t se p u m e y e b o w s e a r s c a r t a g o n g u e a n d b e y - b u o n What do you like
about modelling? “I l
e a l e d fferen oo ks yo u can ach eve h a ll h e e n d l e s a k e u p a n d f a n c y c lo th in g o p o n s . We d
rather you left clothing out of the eq uation altogether. D one much explicit work? “ T h e o s t e x p c it o u d h a v e to b e n u d e . We hope you’ re workin g to change that. L L 7 0S S T Y L E G U F F T H A T CH E S E V E R M A K E A CO E B A C K ? “ I d o n ’ t e v e n
kn ow
h a t h o s e a re . 5 7
Home Gir ls I once got it on in front of more than 10 men”
2 U
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WARATAH, NSW Tying people up gets a bad rap; w hatw ith kidnappings and the
anotherchick off w hen I’m licking hero ut.I once gotiton
like,butbisexual 24-year-old
w ith ano ther fem ale in frontof
w aitress Tahlia reckons itcan
m ore than 10 m en.Itturned into
be a g ood thing too.“WhatI
a fullX X X show .”
like abo ut bondage is the control and being tied up – b oth giving
WIL L 0S-ST YL E BIG M UF F T H A T CH E S E V E R M A K E A COMEBACK? “I don’tthink
and receiving.I love the thrill
a t g e ts y o u e x c i e d a b o t e m b a r k i g o n e e te r a l r a c e t t s g ir l n r l R O O T A G E ? “I love sex w ith
it’llm ake a com eback.I think
w om en because I love getting
w illbe as far as itgoes.”
of itall.”
5 8
these days w om en love the clean,sm ooth style and m en like that,too.M aybe the strip
ƒ U T
U O O UN T H A W
H O R N
Fear not, 27-year-old R ose is hanging around, so her perfect arse will be with us for some time yet. “ I don’t really m iss E ngland, just my family and friends. I love living in A ustralia. T he weather’s hotter, people wear
less and you don’t have Sunday sessions in England. We ll hopefully see you in THE PICTURE a fewmore times then. I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to be in T Pi tu re mag, it makes me feel sexy. A nyone
who’s thinking about posing nude should be proud and confi dent and love their bodies, I love mine. I’v e done some more X X X stuff before and maybe a v ideo or two... but that’s for play, not work.” W IL L ’70S - ST Y LE B IG MU FF T H ATC H E S
It will probably come back in fashion eventually, everything does. I hope not, though I’ve had laser, so nothing grows down there.”
E V E R M AK E A C O ME B AC K ?
“I’ve done som e m ore XXX stuff”
0 0
B UM
5 9
H o m e G ir ls
$30
AS THE HO M IES
SIENNƒ U I S S
BONDI, NSW
E
9 1 3 9
Your arseis so hot. If you can’t take it out of your undies and bring it over to my house and sit it on my face, can you at least send more pics of it to THE PICTURE? Y , TOO G B IE , S W
I S S
SIEN
nudeand getting lots o Australian fans, but I am back in Italy now. So these picsare all you have to remember me by. Sorry about that Remy.”
U E
3 1 4 1
$30
AS THE HO M IES
CHƒ RLI WOLLONGONG, NSW How’s your porn career going? I feel really turned on by a girl who’s not scared to show the world her sexuality. Plus I think you’re really hot.” S , CH SI , 60
CH A
kind words, Lisa. I have lming a lot of my own movies and am lming with Ryan James next week. I have a few movies on other sites.”
E G IR L A N Y T H I G Y O U L IK E Chuck us an email at
[email protected] or write to A sk T he H ome G irls c o TH E PIC T U RE , G PO Box 5201, Sydney, N SW 2000. A S K A N Y H O
I’m getting ready for you to pull over and fuck me”
POPPY O
H TT V L E ,
“I was bab ysi tt in g f or t hi s co uple an d wh en t hey g ot ho me, m y c ar wo ul d not start, so t he dreamy hu sband had to d rive me hom e,” says 22-year-old Poppy. “On the way I started taking my clothes off. H e asked what I was doing and I just said, ‘I’ m gett ing ready f or yo u to pu ll over and f uc k m e.’ A nd h e did. Let’ s just say I have a full-ti me bab ysi tt in g job now. H e mak es me beg f or hi s co ck .” We hope the m issus doesn’tread on. “She’ s
H O
E G R L S
an d catch
borin g. Sh e wo ul dn ’ t.”It’s
alw ays the on es you leastexpect.
WIL L 0S-STY L E BIG MU F F TH ATCH E S E V E R M A K E A C OM E B A CK ? “I do n’ t
think they will. And if i t does, I will be having no part of i t. I l ike to be cleanshaven at all t imes. You never know wh en y ou ’re go in g t o hav e a guy go down on you.”
H o m e G ir ls
$400
H O M IE SWH O L O V E H O M IE S
“I a tc h n g a m a te u r porn”
LORELEI BR ONTE, NSW I lo e odellin ,” s s 26 e r old L orelei. “It g iv es e a lot of confi dence nd kes e fee e o ered D one anything ruder than pose nude in your career “ S ooti ng f or ou s ery e licit for e. B ut I enjoy ed it. I’m t inking I s ould do 100 at Per Cent Home Girls ne t. do ou t ink?” The more of you we see, the better. What about sex on camera T h i nki n out it kinda turns e on. I lo e 62
p orn. M a v ourite is M .I i ke w a t c i n a m a t eur orn, too usu ll one fe turing littleb londe irls like e nd n older g uy. I’v e lw s liked older m en. WILL ’0S-STYLE BIG MUFF THATCHES EVER MAKE A
I sup ose e er t i ng co ul d ke co m e ck . I f i t kes o u f ee se y , w y not? i t? ut if it does, I w ouldn’t e row ing one s I ’ v e d l a ser i r re o l . COMEBACK?
DOL L Y LU N
OX F
Who doesn’t love big, bouncy boobs?”
L U
ƒ
oobs, butt you’ve gotta love it all”
to getclose w hen you’re both naked:you know ,
O
for w arm th.”
O
olly “Boobs,butt:you’ve gotta
love itall.I’ve dated girls and I tend to getw ay m ore crushes on them than w ith dudes. ”
EAST SYDN EY, N SW
WILL ’ 0S-STYLE BIG MUFF THATCHES EVER MAKE A COMEBACK?
We interrupted 29-year-old Luna Fox’s nipple tassle class to ask her abouther 24-year-old m ate D olly.
una Fox
“D olly is secretly a
unicorn.” She certainly gives us a BI G
H O RN .
Well, big-ish. olly of a secret. ”
“I didn’tthink itw as m uch
una Fox
“You could getlostin
una Fox
“O h G od,I hope not.I don’tneed
a poodle in m y pants. ”
olly “I’m
dow n w ith
her eyes.And boobs:w ho doesn’tlove big,
w hatever a chick is com fortable w ith;w ith
bouncy boobies? Naked girls are great:it’s nice
som e m aintenance,of course.” 63
H o m e G ir ls F L A S H B A C K S
L LY
L IC E S P
S,
T
W e get fuck-all homies from T he A lice, but when we do, they give us nosebleeds. Hows it going out there? “ It’s about 40 degrees today, but that’s O K because I like the hot weather. And blokes must love you not wearing much! Yes, they seem to all notice my boobs – I’ m always getting comments on them. I try and sunbake in the nude out here if I can.” A 25-year-old who’s working in sales marketing, Sally knows all about CL O SING A DE A L: “ I had sex on a ight to New Z ealand a little while back. L uckily, there weren’t many people on the fl ight and we just used a blanket to conceal us. Right now we could use a HUGE HAND SHANDY after looking at your tits.
64
N 2 I had sex on a flight to New Zealand”
You can’t go past an awesome blow ob”
C LE O
PERTH,WA
“ I d o n ’t n d g o n g o u t c lu b b in g a n d p ic k in g u p a w o m a n fo r e an d m y m a n e x p a in e d h i s j w d r o p p in g 3 0 y e a r o l d h o m e m a k e r. “ It g e ts m e o ff a tc h in g h i h ano her om an – and o f cour e he loves it too.” D o you recommend it to other couples? “ D e fi n i e ly . s lo n g a s y o u e o p e n ab t s s a l t f fun . d tha h a t s e x s h o u d b e – f u n . What’ s the best way to please a bloke? “ I d o n t h in k y o c a n g o p a s t a n a w e so m e b lo w j b . o u s ta r o ff s o w a n d a k e s u r e y o u n c lu d e a ll h i s an d p ec es. ere’s a rea l art o it y kno Whatever you say, P ricasso.
6
H o m e G ir ls The sexiest thing I ve done is have sex in the rain”
ƒ
S Sƒ
S U R F E R S P A R A D IS E , Q L D Life on the road looks pretty appealing if 19-year-old full-time Canadian travellerVanessa is your dorm buddy. The sexiest thing I have done is maybe have sex in the rain. I am not really t do y o u iss out sure.” ou r oose l den h o e n d I miss my family and friends back home.”H v e y ou t ken a d n t e of t e ussie e t er for a l freso se ua l lia isons Sadly no.” h a t 66
s ould our re ders seek out en t ey cr oss t e ci fi c to C a n a d
Definitely hit up the ski resorts in Banff and Niagra Falls is a mustsee, too.” econd e ind not er eek a t our fi ne nude for WILL 70S-STYLE IGMUFF THATCHES EV ER MAKE A
Yes, I think so. Because everything from back then seems to be having a comeback, like chokers.” COME ACK?
T OP TITS oo s s uch s ossib le. Th ey re fun to p lay it Big ones or small ones “ E i t er. i ne ren’t o erly ig , so I g uess lay ing ith ig er oo s t n ine is s fun
S H L E E DOVER G RDENS, S
WILL ’70S-STYLE IGMUFF THATCHES
I h e t o do s nd t o c ts,” s s 25 e r o d s ee. “ I c la ssi fy y a n i a l s a s m ch ildren, ich tends to le e eop le ery confused. oth do s nd cats ke ood p ets,
for t e sim le fa ct it’s a re t feeling to g o om e fter a long d y t w ork to g et cuddles ure lo e You also have two beaut CH E ST PU PPI E S to lavish attention on. “ I p l a y w it
I h op e not I’m no fa n do nst irs ir. ut e , e ch to t eir o n. If it does co e ck, I cert inly on’t e follo ing t e trend EV ER MAKEA COME ACK?
“Playing w ith bigg er boob s than m ine is alw ays fun ”
T S I T P T O
67
DOLLY T
O TH , N S W
“I l ove havi ng m y b oo bs play ed wi th ,” adm it s TO P H E AV Y 23-year-ol d D ol ly. “M y nip pl es are so sensitive so a l ittl e tweak feels amazing! ” You m usthave fellas lining up arou nd the
– that’s m y f avouri te k in d of foreplay. I really enjoy getting the oil s and candles out and making it ni ce and romantic bef ore w e get do wn to som e nic e, hard sex.” We’ve added
block for a chan ce to TU NE
olive o ilto ou r shopping list.
TH E R A D I O . “I
hav e a part ner at the moment so he’s the only one who gets to touch them right now.” Whata LUC KY DO G ! Wh at else does this fortunate fucker getto do w ith you? “H e
gets to give m e lots of massages
L L 7 0 S S T Y L E B UF F T H A T C H E S
A K E A
“Ev eryt hi ng goes in cycles so it’ ll probably comeback at some point. I personally hope not, I think it looks pretty gross and unt idy.” C O M E B A CK ?
FLASH FOR CA$H!
“I enjoy getting the oils and ”
W ann a b e a H o m e G ir l ? Se nd u s yo ur p ic s a nd i f t h e y ’ r e s u i t a b l e f o r p u b l i c a t i o n in o n e o f t h e c a t e g o r i e s b e l o w AN D W E P R I N T T H EM , we ’ l l fling you the appropriate cash. So get snapping, f i ll i n t h e c o u po n , an d s e e yo u n u d e s oo n !
400 HO M I E O F T HE W EEK
$100 Topless Homie $100 Bag G irl $150 Hom e G irl $200 Bea ut Bum / Top Tits $400 Bedroom Babe / Hom ie on Holida y / Hom ie with Hobbies $400 Hom e G irl of the Week S e n d y o u r s n a p s t H O M E G I R L S , T H E P I CT U R E , GPO Box 5201, Sydney, N SW 2000. E a c h p h o t o m u s t b e s ig n e o n h e b a c b y t h e H o m G i Yes, I want to be a Home Girl please tick) I h e r e b y g i v e T H E P I C T U R E m a g a z in e t h e r ig h t to p u b s h o n e o r m o r e o f h e e n c lo s e d p h o to s o f m e . I g iv e p e r m s s io n o r m y p h o t o t o b e u s e d o n h e n te rn e t, a n o n S,SM orDVD Yes , I wa nt m y ph ot og ra ph s to be pu bl is he d in th e ne xt Ho m e G ir ls An nu al fo r wh ic h I wi ll be pa id $2 0 at ti m e of pu bl ic at io n. B y s i g n i n g t h i s a g r e e m e n t I s i g n i f y I h a ve r e a d , u n d e r s t a n d a n d a g r e e t o be bo un d b y t he im po rt an t T er m s a nd Co nd it io ns be lo w. Important Terms and Conditions 1. I acknowledgeand agreethat thepublisher of THE PICTU RE magazine, BauerMedia Ltd, i tslicenseesor assignsmay publish or authorise thepublication of thepictures of me in any layout or format, in wholeor in part, without restriction asto changes oralterations madefrom time to timeand accompanied by any text and/orgraphicsi t chooseswithout furtherreferenceto me. 2. I hereby assign to Bauer Media Ltd theworldwidecopyrightto thephotographsand acknowledgethatB auerM edia Ltd may exercise all of therights of thecopy right owner in respect of the photographs, including using or licensing the publication of thephotographsin otherpublications and using or licensing thepublicati on of thephotographsin any format including (but not limited to) DV D, M MS, C D-ROM ortheI nternet. 3. I releaseBauerMedia Ltd its employees, agents, related companiesand assigns fromall acti ons, suits, causesof acti ons, claimsand demands whatsoeverwhich I may haveat any time in connection with the photographs orarising from or relating to their publication in print orelectronic media, including any liability by v irtue of any blurring, distortion, alteration, context orotherwise, including (but not limi ted to) any action fordefamation. 4. I acknowledgethat personssending Home Gi rlsphotos without the written permission of thesubject will be liable to criminal prosecution.
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er
MOTORCYCLES The fastesttw o-w heeled thing on the
The fastestprod uction m otorcycle
plan et is Mike Akatiff’s Ack Attack .It’s
is Kaw asaki’s 3 26-horsepow er
tw o 1300cc Suzukiengines are sucked
sup ercharged H2 Ninja.Turkish
offby a Garrettturbo ,intercooled w ith dry-ice,
racer Kenan Sofoglu jizzed one across the
and ityelps along at605 km /h plus change.
Ozm an Gazibridge ,hitting 400k m /h.
The Pom s claim the biggest-capacity production bike.It’s the Trium ph Rocke t3,w ith a 2.3lin-line trip e.The
No-one has e ver builtsexier m otorcycles than the E yeties.The sexiest ever w as the MV Agu sta
Yanks reckon they’re fullofshitcos Boss Hoss
F4,designed by Massim o Tam burini.He died
m akes m otorcycles w ith 8.2lChev m otor.
in 2 014 because the re w as n o point in living anym ore.His w ork w as done.
The m ostm entalm otorcycle ever w as Kaw asaki’s H2 Mach IV 750 tw o-
In the originalAm erican outlaw
stroke.R e-christen ed ‘Widow m ake r’,
biker film Th e
itkilled m ore cunts than cholera.Itonly had 74
ild One,you ’d think
star Marlon Bran do w ould’ve ridden
horsepow er,buta fram e m ade outofold rubber
a Se pp o ’cycle.Wron nnn ng! His ride in the
bands and brakes m ade from recycled frypans.
m ovie w as a Pom m y Trium ph Thunderbird 6T. Ducatistarted o ut m aking radios,Kaw asakibegan by
Sav e s w ea r and tear on the fron t hoop
produ cing trains,Yam aha m ade pianos and Suzukiw as once the b est loom -m aker in allofJap an. Honda started outm aking pushbikes. In 2011,Yank Rusty Vaugh an rode 3 249.9km in 24 hou rs at the C on tinen talTyre test track in Texas.Then he w entm ad, fan ged offinto the dese rtand w as ea ten by vultures.
H e m ig h t h av e a b it o fa b ro k e n b ac k r i g h t n o w , an d i s c o m in g l i k e 2 t h i n t h e w o rl d c h am p io n sh ip ,b u t M ot o G P r a ce r A n d re a I an n o n e i s t h e a st e st m o to rc yc l e r a ce r e ve r. H e w e n t 35 1 . 2 k m / h i n t h e W a rm - U p a t Lo sa i l in Q a ta r t h is y e ar . B u t th e n h e w e n t sh it d u ri n g t h e a ct u al r a ce a n d c ra sh e .
