Line of Scrimmage EDITION 1
MORE TIERS FOR COMISSIONER VALIS The new Fun League Season has kicked off and, as with Fangs Heroes, with the new season comes the new look. Commissioner Valis had this to say “What, huh the league, yes, yes I‟ve heard of it. I‟m the Commissioner you say, oh yes, that‟s right, now where‟s my paper, oh yes... We now have a reasonably solid league, containing a mix of both dedicated and downright hardcore coaches. Any new coaches will have to play in a “testing ground” to determine their seriousness to compete in the league. That‟ll be all. Now where‟s that pipe...” A third division, the FL Central, has developed alongside the FL North and FL South as a feeder to the Orcs Hall Conference. This means that the teams in the OHC have even more blood thirsty brutes snapping at their heels to pull them out of the top flight as four teams will be relegated. Under this tier is the FL East, FL West and the new FL Core which provide the motivation for the teams in the second tier. The Sh‟elf continues to provide a wealth of talent to challenge the coaches in the Fun Leagues and this is now to be complimented by the Testing Grounds where new blood is put to the test! Further details of the new structure can be found here.
SECOND CRACK OF THE WHIP FOR MANTICORES The Blackspine Manticores have earned themselves the opportunity to remedy the thrashing they suffered in the Far Atherlorn Cup Final. Mistress Pain has zipped, clipped and strapped her- FUN BO WL TRO self together to lead her brethren out against the Azeroth AvenPH Y gers in the much coveted Fun Bowl Final. The disgrace at the hands of their fairer cousins, namely the Long Bomb Warriors was made more excruciating by the PA playing much loathed song “Never gonna give you up” to further mock the Manticores, a pain even the Mistress is unwilling to deal out. Fashionistas and Blood Bowl fans alike are watering at the mouths in anticipation of what the Mistress will be wearing to, ahem, entertain the crowds! The Final is scheduled for evening of Sunday 11 April. Watch it or watch out!!!
STEINAR NEEDS YOU! During his hours of respite, mad Norse monk Steinar the Thricedarned was visited by the Lord Nuffle who ordered his charge to deliver unto him the history of the Fun League. Not content with spits and spats of stats, Nuffle declared that he must have the records to identify the greatest player to grace the Astrogranite!
FUN LEAGUE ARCHIVES
Scratching his worn cranium the mad monk began to gather the statistics. Persuasion, trickery bribery and good old fashioned violence were his tools and slowly he drew the pages together. Drawing disciples in from across the known world, Steinar is leading the statisticians and recordsmen together in a purge against ignorance, but he needs more hands, paws, claws and tentacles to deliver the promise he made to Nuf-
fle. Offer your services to the Norse monk before he slips ever further into the realms of madness!!! See here for further details as to how you can be of service...
COACH KRAMPUS LAYS DOWN THE GAUNTLET Krampus, coach of last season‟s runaway Orcs Hall Conference winners Salkien Kelvar, has slapped fellow OHC coaches around the chops with a statement to Cabalvision that has left his rivals open mouthed. With an arrogance most commonly heard from Oldcastle‟s reddest Duke, the gauntlet has well and truly been laid down. “Last night I had a meeting with the board of FunLeague CabalVision, our main broadcasting company and league sponsor. I have to say, they were pretty disappointed of Season 3. Our viewing rate significantly dropped during the season. This happened because one team totally crushed the competition and the viewers got bored of seeing their opponents running away and crying like little girls. I therefore have some messages I would like to share with you all. COACH KRAMPUS MonkeyBongos, Kianwan, KillerOrc, Fangs78, and Meltyman, we all know you won't have any chance for winning Season 4. It however would be great, if you could at least try to give the great Salkien Kelvar some resistance. Every expert will see from turn one how clueless you are but we might have a chance to fool the ordinary viewers.
Giorss, nilbymouth/Dirtydancer, Geryon, and Radek, you are now playing with the pros. Your days of kindergarten bowl is over. However, don't be too hard to yourself. Nobody expect great things from you. Believe me though, after you loose a match it's a good feeling to know that you have tried your best. And who knows? You might have a chance again some of our lesser coaches like MonkeyBongos, Kianwan, KillerOrc, Fangs78, and Meltyman .”
OHC TROPHY
Fellow OHC coaches are said to be fuming at this outburst. Coach KillerOrc has vowed to “not bovva wiv da ball and just smash dat gitz „ead in” in future matches. Many fans are wondering how this is different from the Brewers‟ usual gamestyle! Whatever the reaction is to be, Blood Bowl fans can be sure that this is gonna be one hell of a season!!!
RED DUKE GANG BANG BALL LAUNCHED The inaugural Red Duke Gang Bang Ball has been launched in the city of Oldcastle and has captured the imagination of the locals and Colleges of Magic alike. Launched to a, ahem, fanfare by the Red Duke himself, the competition pits 42 teams vying for the Duke‟s favour. Teams are randomly assigned 7 matches against each other with the winner of each Group, plus a Wild Card Team selected by his grace, progressing to a straight knockout for the Trophy and a chance to compete in the Roze-El Bowl finals. Further info on the Red Duke Gang Bang Ball can be found HERE. GROUP A
GROUP B
GROUP C
GROUP D
GROUP E
GROUP F
Green Onions
The Tainted Blade
New World Vipers
13 Twisted Terrors
Hell’s Device
The Fey Avengers Naggaroth Knives
Midnight Stalkers Love-Bugs
Deadly Horns
Stinky Fish
Orcymost
The Bang Gang
Gangfoul T16
Da Wreckin’ Krew
Nuln Kultists
Curious Orca
Reckless Love
Horned Warriors
The Girlie Soft
Witching Hour
Tiger’s Transgressions
Under Empire All Wisconsin’s FinStars est Rats
Jurassic Pork Chaps
The good names were taken
Unnamed Team
Webway Harlequins
Ptolemy Phantoms
Speed Daemons
Cavendish Convicts
Snikch’s Deathsquad
Crimson Plunder- Millstone ers
Whispers on the Wind
Deathroller Disci- Paparazzi W’ores ples
Zhao’s Motorsport 2.0
13 Flavours of Rhetorical
Slaanesh’s Lovetoys
GROUP G
Angry Vomit
Weiszburg Ravens
MEET THE STARS... Mylm’win Rookie Wardancer of the Whispers on the Wind has made a dramatic impact on the Gang Bang Ball! She currently leads the Touchdowns Scored (5), Catches (3) and Yards Rushed (112) charts. Mylm’win cut her Mylm’w perfect teeth in the Oakwood Leafball League. For those not in the in—War dancer know, the OLL is a Wood Elf only league that takes place high in the Oakwood canopy with the players skipping from branch to branch TALE OF THE TAPE with the ball. The high octane and adrenaline game has honed the Games Played: 2 fleet-footed skills of Mylm’win almost to perfection. Touchdowns:
5
Passing Yards:
0
Rushing Yards:
112
Catches:
3
CAS:
0
Kills
0
Ko’s
1
Interceptions:
0
MVP:
0
Sponsorships:
2 (Chanelf, L’Oreelf)
The doubters questioned her ability to handle the more physical nature of Blood Bowl in the Fun Tourneys following her conversion to the land based sport. The doubters, however, are still waiting for that point to be proved as Whispers have yet to face a non Wood Elf team!!! Blessed with extraordinary good looks, Mylm’win has supplemented her Whispers’ salary with a not inconsiderable sponsorship with Chanelf and L’Ore-elf. The exposure brought by these lucrative deals have made many a Blood Bowl player and fan alike look to find out whether she’s worth it...
WARZ BOYS TAME KILLERS
Grubnash -- Shudduup!! N lisun up! Da Boss says I wuz chozen as da MVP anda gotsa talk to yuz. Reporter #3 -- Great game today, Grubnash. Well deserved as the MVP. You were really smashing the chaos around, and even sent off Gnar'nogor with what we now know to be a pinched nerve.
ETTING 17/1GREENSQUARE B NS ODDS IO P M A CH .2 10 0 2 C OH Salkien Kelvar
3/1
- 6/1 Verminus Vivax 1
World of Boo - 7/ Dungpile Scaven
gers—7/1
Da Reserves - 10
Grubnash -- Ya da boss sez smashum up, so Grubnash smashem up.
KillerOrc - 10/1
Reporter #6 -- So looks like the new rookie Grikk contributed today with the matches 1st score, I bet the team was excited for him.
/1 Fangs Heroes - 11
/1
GREEN
Underneath the WAAAGH Arena in the poorly lit, dank and stank dungeon room, CabalVision Reporters await the Warz Boyz SpokesOrc to talk about the recent match. From the tunnel leading into the dungeon, loud echoing footsteps are heard, not close to being washed out by the 27,000 fans still cheering in the arena, and what sounds like a snorting wargpig. The large shadow cast over the reporters could only mean a Black Orc. The MVP of the Match, Grubnash Smash'Eadz ermerges.....
- 15/1 ums Darrlings
M Grubnash -- I wuz ta bizzy smashen eadz. I did not see him score. Da boss told Grikk he had ta prove himself worthy ta play an he had to ewers - 17/1 Bohemian Orc Br play da ball. Da boss says he may not be worthless after all. top Reporter #1 -- Speaking of The Boss, Warz Gutripper had himself a Casualty and the match winning touchdown. Is he trying to set the example on how the team is to play this season? Grubnash -- Da Boss was furious dat da sponsors brought inda Varag Ghoul-Chewer. Afta Varag took out Belmoth Dha Ghur (chaos warrior), da boss went and took out Starclap Rustlust (chaos warrior). But da boss showed da sponsors when Varag fell down tryin ta blitz La-nogors on da goal-line and stop da chaos from winning, that he wuz da superior Orc. TuffTakk defended himself from La-nogors block, ko'ing him scooping up da ball and tossin it to da boss and da boss would run and bash his way to da match winning touchdown. Reporter #3 The Khillers Monotuar didn't seem to be much of a problem for you, how did you manage to "tame" him. Grubnash -- We bashed his 'Ead. Reporter #2 Right you did! Guggask even kicked him in the horns when he was down. Hit him so hard his armor shattered. Too Bad the Khillers Apo fixed him right up, he was back in the 2nd half, but had no impact on the game at all. You did seem to have a bit of trouble containing the Khillers pasing game in the 1st half. Laly Tusk was able to hit Yel'Fagor with a pass that put him outta reach of your defense. They kinda got behind ya and scored. Grubnash -- Did not see it. Too busy bustin 'Eadz Yuz all SHUDDUP now no mo questions.
Grubnash leaves back down the tunnel and disappears into the caverns beneath the Waaagh Arena.... WARZ BOYZ 2-1 KHORNES KHILLERS
KILLER QUEEN ... SLAIN Legendary basher Camilla Andersen of the Danish Iron Ladies met her match during her debut Fungusliga North match against the Heralds of Change.
CAMILLAN E ANDERS Kills—2 CAS—20 Kos—23 SPP—58
A L L I K
Veteran Herald and fan favour- Aroo Howlmoon — ite, Aroo Howlmoon, has a of Chang Heralds e whopping 20 matches under his belt and he put every minute of that experience to good use when he ripped into the Iron Ladies’ Iron Lady! The Wardancer had stormed the Bongos’ CAS and nt to Kills charts. A run that lead to here wa t t u o s r a nomination for a Personality y fluffe e of Scrim in L e h t of the Season Award. Should An with ribute to The Claw she win it, her die hardfans will cont M P e s a le be hoping for a Necromancer to give mage p terial. provide the kiss of life! your ma
EEDED N T N E T N NEW CO
Howlmoon was unavailable to comment on the incident following the match as he was hungrily tucking in to a leg contained in a suspiciously familiar looking knee high leather boot...
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TEAM PROFILE:
