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THE
SACRD MAGICI a ceremonial diary
William Blom
IfG6 P
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This Edition first publshed 1992 by Gothic Image Publications 7 High Street, Glstonbury, Somerset BA69DP
© Willim Bloom 1976, 19 Fs pus u psuoy of Gos C y P/G
The extracts om Te Book of the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mge are reproduced unalered from the second ediion of he work which was published by John M Watins, London, in 190. A reproduction is vilable published by Dover Boos, New Yor 1975.
All rights reserved o part of this publation may be reproduced or utilised in any orm or by any means, without writen permission from the Publisher. Cover artor by Peter Woococ Text design and production by MentorDTP Bton, Somerset
A caalogue record for this boo is available from the British ibrary
Printed nd bound in Great Britain ii
...devoutly and with boldness ye shall invok the Name f the Lord, thankng Hi for all the grace which He hath given and granted unto you from your infancy until now; then with humility shall ye humble yourselves unto Him, and confess unto Him entirely all your sins; supplicating Him t be willing to pardon you and remit them. Ye shall also supplicate Him that in the time to come He may be wiling and pleased to regard you with pity and grant you His grace and goodness to send unto you His Holy Angel, who shall serve unto you as a Guide, and lead you ever in His Holy Way and Will...
William Bloom is a riter, lecturer, counseller an organiser hose work is eicate to integrating the wisom an tech niques of the mystery traiions into a relevant approach t contemporary social an personal transformation. He has a octorate in Psychology from the Lonon School of conomics. He is a founing irector of Alteatives of St James's, an is closely involve ith the eucaional programme of the Finho Founation.
By th sm uthor: eitation in a Changing Worl Devas, Fairies an Angels, Sacre ies he New Age he eker's Guie
kowedgemets
his book is the iary that I kept uring a six mont magical ritual knon as Th Scrd ic of Abrmin the e he di as originally publishe in 1976 uner a pseuonym because I felt unable at that tie to eal wih any of the requests or enquiries that might have then been irecte to me. enty years on I ave integrate most of the experience, perhaps am iser and have receive many requests to republish it under my on name. In this eition I have also inclue an Introuction an pilogue, notes throughout the text, as ell as reproductions from the instructions of Th Scrd ic itsel. he Introduction explains why I ent into the ceremony in the first place an the pilogue escribes hat happene to me afterars. y thanks to Palden Jenkins and ndre Hill or their eitorial help. y eep appreciation to Frances Hoar-Goron and Jamie George for their support an love at many levels. An, fnaly, a loving thank you to Sabrina for her isom, insight an inspiation.
i
CONTNTS Introdction Facsiile of e Book o the Scred ic The First Two Months The Middle Two Months The Last Two Months The Seven Days of Consecration, Convocation and Conjration Epiloe Booklist
v
1 11 53 75 101 137 149 154
for mes Bloom
i
INTRODCTION e Au Au of 197 I lef y career as a Lodo pbliser ad ovelis o ravel soh o orocco i order to perfor a ee ix onth rital of cereoial agic, the cliax of wic i coicaio wi oe's Holy Gardian Angel. I was wey-five years old and ad spent ree years iesel ie sel readig ysical, occl ad spirial literare. I ad fir coe across is lierare wen, as a coissioning edior i a odo pbliig ose, ose, soeone had sbitted o e a ascrip o oofe-body experiences. Ui Ui a point i ie I ad bee bee acive ad aggressive cynic abo spiritaity, b tere ws soeig abo e book wic rag insicive bells of wiin me I bega then t read two or three ysic ad occl books a week, begining with Sufi literatre, oving easwards easwar ds io Bddis ad yogic teachigs, ad then retig wewards io e Crisian, gosic, kabbalisic and weste yser adi io general. Afer ese tree years of readig, ediaig, yig varios exercises, bt never joining a grop or seeig a gur, reaced a poit where readig ad te occasioal occasioal exercise were o loger eogh. I had an overwhelmig insic lly o eter e world abo whic I was reading. was was ten ta I cae across a book that is faos fao s i e Sared agi oAbraein Abrae in wese agical radition, Te Book o te Sared the age Traslaed by S.L. MacGregor aers fro a fifee cery anuscrip held in te Biblioeque de l'Arseal l'Arseal Paris, e book describes a six ot rital of cereoial agic, e cliaio of wic is fll conversaion wit oe's Hoy Gard a Agel ad e the conjration ad sbjectio of evil spiris. was ipressed by is clariy of prpose ad te pr of i eciqe. ( reprodce owards the fron of is book a facsiile of e relevan secios fro the 1900 editio of Te Book o the acre agic Te, wii te Diary iself, I refer readers b o e relevat passages i tis facsiile.)
Introduction
The rl, described in get detil i The Book of the cred gic lsts six months nd in orde to pursue it, he h e rilist needs to be in plce tht will be undisurbed nd where e cn build ortory or smll chpel In this rtory he needs sml ltr, oil lmp, crcol incense incense burer nd corner covered cove red with sd rom river He is lso required to mke specil robes, oly oil nd incense, nd o cut n lmond shoot to ct s his wnd For sx months, strtng t Ester, the ritulist prys, with incresg ntensity, nd fo increasingly long perio, tht is sins be forgiven nd ht, now forgve, he will be grnted ull commui ction with hs Holy Gurdi Angel Hving been grnted this ull converstion he s then llowed to summo up te forces of evi, devils d demons demons Suppoted by his Holy Gudin Agel d working on behlf of od nd the Forces of Light, e summons these demons by nme nd h them pledge obediece to him should he ever wish or eed to control them When I committed myelf o this six month ritl my tiude ws dulistic O O one side I pproched it purely rom psyco logicl perspective On the oter I pproched it with the ull commitment of devoted mystic I thought tht I ws bout to explore two lndcapes The fst ndscape a wthin my own pyche where I would revel to myself, under the guie of the Holy Gurdin Agel, core pect of my true elf From this perspecive, the Holy Gurdin Angel ws metphor for my own soul, my own eternl essence The demons nd devils, devils, then, were hdow spects of my own psyche which under norl circumstnces I would not hve the courge o the psycholgicl technology to encouter I expected to tke my wreess into the relm of wht Jung descried as the colectie uconscious where I would meet rchetypl forms belonging to the rci or geetic memory of ll women nd men The oly Gudin Angel would be rche typl concept, or relity, held within the collective psyche of humnity; humnity; s lso would be te devils nd demns But, t the sme time, I thought tht I w lso bout to explore second lndscpe world of spiritul relities normlly unperceived by our fve senses In this world there were el ngels nd rel demon demon I wsprepred to think his becuse I hd mny times in my life, sice erly childhood, expeieced tmos pheres nd presences, soe soe beutiful nd ecttic, others spooky nd rightening These expereces hd been been too reuent nd too substntial for my mind to reject Eqully, ll te mysticl nd
Introdction
3
eoteric book I read, regardle of creed or culture, poke clearly and explicitly about thi inviible world of energie, vibration and conciounee I could not dimi thi vat wealth of authoritative and corroborating literature To undertand my diary beter I am certain that the reader need to be more familiar with the young man who went into that ceremony I had been brought up by two parent who were intellectual humanit and I had been educated in the maintream Britih private chool tradition From an early age I remember them clearly from the age of five I had experience of another reality but, like many chldren, kept them to myelf I kept quiet about them becaue thee experience were in direct conflict with the eence of the world view that wa parenting and educating me I wa a hy and well-behaved infant, but a I grew older I became increaingly cynical and increaingly aggreive I wa uually too timid to let thi aggreion urface openly, ut often it emerged a mockery or a an intene intellectual competitivene A I moved into my twentie my cynicim and aggreion became increaingly focued on political and cultural target I aligned myelf with the radical and occaionally violent faction of the flower-power and counter-culture movement of the 96 Looking back I fully undertand why thi movement uited me o well Counter-culture wa politically radical, but it wa alo in conflict with the maintream pychological and philoophical undertanding of the world and of reality Through it pych edelic experience and it exploration of eate and hamanic technique for altering concioune, counter-culture upported the notion of an inviible reality; and through it alignment with urrealim and itationim it alo actively ought to create events which altered perpective and experience In many way the tenion within me between my maitream education and my intinct for the mytical, between my aggre ion and my idealim, further driven by a compulive peronality wa unbearable I remember for a while in my early twentie holding off wave of confuion, of alienation and of total identity crii When I wa twenty-two and had my firt novel pulihed, with all the trapping of a publiher' important launch, followed by much pre coverage and lead review in the quality pre a dream for the irt publication of a young novelit I felt only meaninglene A I became increaingly ucceul a a writer
Introdction
ad a publisher, this sese of eaiglessess grew. I the had two extraordiary eetigs with older e which helped to heal e It is imporat i the cotext of his diary write about y ecouter with hese two me. I look back o y pursuit of the Abramelin Cereoy as a rite of passage ito a sacred diesio or as what is called in soe ative peoples traditios a visio quest' Ad, as I look back, I see these two older e givig e their blessig ad their power for the jouey. Perhaps I would have goe ahead without m experiece of the, but Lord kows how I would have fared. I also write about them because I a becoig icreasigly aware of a terrible iury to ur mode cultre This ijury is caused by the fact that so ay illios of us grow up without ever receivig the true attetio, the true love, the tue ethusias ad affectio of a older wiser woa or a. This blessig ro our elders has i our society becoe coldly istitutioalised ito gradigs ad arks at the ed of a class, ito certificates ad awards, into promotio withi a bureaucracy, ito icreased salaries ad wages but hardly ever do we receive the deep blessig of a ethusig elder. e eed all of us to be welcoed, received ad warly gve space in our cultres Alieation is built ito our cultural structures if there is o safe receptio for us. e eed, I feel, desperately to regai this os iportat tas actio betwee the generatios. I ecourage you to ethuse ad lve your youger friends, to create a powerful path for their gis ito the future I also write about these two e because either of the was a magicia or a obvious mystical guru, eve though hey were both truly witch-doctors, oe a psychoaalyst and the other a ovelist The first ecouter was with the Aerica writer, Jaes Baldwi, who after reading y secod ovel, asked to eet e. e et at a private lterary dier i Lodo ad iediately wet ito deep conversatio ad rapport A few frieds said, cyically, that I was attractive ad that Jiy, who was gay, hd falle in love with me; that was ot y experiece. e spe a weeked together i which he gave e his total adorig attetio, ever ovig ito physical sexuality. He whispered his love to e d he spoke his love to me i the prose that ade hi so powerul a writer. He said he would be prepared to die for e, that I was oe of he great souls, that he ad I were two of the last iggers left, that if we slept i the ghetto he wold place his body bewee ie ad
Introdction
5
the window to save me from the assassin's bullet. I told him I thought I was mad and alone; and he embraced me and said welcome, brother. We rode around London together on my motorbike, his arms around me, his head resting against my back. Over and over again, he told me that I was not alone, that there were men who could understand my soul and that I was all right, that I was fine and wonderful, that I was loved and respected. I could not reject the intensity of his communication. It was not so much his words into my mind, but his total attention touching the whole of my personality and identity. For three days I experi enced a great man's love, adoration and respect and I drank it in at this oasis in my confused life. He retued to his home in southern France and never wrote to me I think that the episode in some strange way hurt him, that he had made a sacrifice of some part of himself to heal me. I wrote to thank him and to continue the relationship in a calmer way, but there was only silence. I think that he felt that he had made a fool of himself. Mystically I feel that my soul had called his soul in to help me. I was an intense, aggressive and consed psyche, and only the kind of power which he indeed delivered could touch me. I had another love affair, of a completely different sort and rhythm, with my psychoanalyst, Edward Glover My father, an eclectic Freudian psychiatrist, had always said to me that if ever I wanted full psychoanalysis he would set up the introductions. At twentytwo, during a temporary break from Frances, I found that I could not make love adeuately. (I soon discovered that I did not have a problem and that one-night stands were simply not for me.) At the same time, I was ully aware that my increasing interest in the occult and mystical could be interpreted, in a Freudian mode, as a form of escapism or psychic compensation. My temporary sexual anxiety and awareness of the Freudian-materialistic critiue of my mysticism led me into analysis. Edward Glover was eightyone years old when I fst saw him . He was one of the founders of the psychoanalytic school in Britain and had himself known Freud; his own books were important texts and he had a powerful reputation. During the course of my psychoanalysis, I became his last analysand and we oved our sessions from his consulting rooms to his home in Marylebone where he was stil looking ater his own daughter, who had Downs Syndrome. His books were rigorous and intellectually aggressive, but in his psychoanalytic practice he was wry, gentle and twinkly, his voice conveying his comments in an aused but
6
Introdction
concerned cotih drawl He wa he fir an I had e who could eaily and caly poin a finger a y bulhi and inconit encie; hi ind wa faer and cannier han ine and I loved hi for it He wa bald and looked very wee, and oked any cigaree; I alo oked a he ie and we deveoped a riual of ong each oher' cigarete alernaely For he fir year and a haf he gave e he gif of ju allowing e o alk and to alk and o alk, occaionaly poking in a coent about an inconiency or conadicion Then our eion began to develop ino converaion and he gave e he gif of alking o e, of haring i own hough and pondering, hu breaking all the rule of claical pychonalyi I do not know wheher he had done thi wih hi oher analyand He old e oehing about hi own analyi and rainig Moreover he opped charging e for he eion boh a pracical and ybolic geure For eigheen onth we ked He gave e tru and, like Je Baldwin, he alo dared o ake exravagn and roanic aeen which ank deeply ino y hear, giving e a founda ion of confidence fro whic o be fuy preen Once he aid o e wh a chucke "h, Wili, you and I are probably the lat wo nalyt alive hat I would rut What a gif to an inecure young peron Togeher we decided tha I wa no n eoional cripple and ha, herefore, y inere in yici and the occu had oe enible bai o i He wa no ure what hi bai wa, bu he wa open o i I had i rut raher thn y faher' and ociey' upicion Three week before I wa de o go o Morocco we brough our relaionhip o an end I wa a poignan oent and for he firt ie we ouched and hugged, wo e in London unvered in how o hold anoher an He hen died a week aer I wen o i funeral in he creaoriu and I hink I wa he only peron here who cried nd I think I wa e ony peron here who prayed We had helped prepare each oer for our voyage My graiude o boh en fow over, I hope, ino y oher reaionhip o I knew when I wa twenyfour ha I had o reorien y ife copletely; I kew hat I needed o face yef; I knew ha I needed fuly o experience e world of he occul and he yic Ony he ineniy of uch a pocedure a e Abrein Operation Operaion' being a word ued in he orgina anucrip o refer
Introdction
7
to the ceremoy would work or me. The d ow, I ws ot iterested the pheome vilble through such ct o ritul mgic; I ws iterested i the process through which it would tke me. I left Lodo i the Autum of 1972 ccompied by Frces Howrd-Gordo; she d I hd bee together sice we were itee d stee yers old. She hd bee workg s director i C televsio curret ffirs, but ws scked i 971 s prt o purge of left-wig d femiist rdicls She is fiery, beutiul d cretive wom, who hs lwys hd her ow iterest i the psychedelic d the mysticl. We hd lso lwys ejoyed dve tures d this voyge to Morocco, d the ito worlds ivisible d uchrted, ws ot to be mssed by her. She ws redy or chge rom the weste urb d medi life style. I grdully brought my publishig d commuity poitics ctvites to ed I orgised smll boo cotrct or some pperbck mysticl thrillers which would provide icome to cover the trip. (I hd our o these thrillers published uder the pseudoym o W. W. Their hero ws Asi price d occultist set by the ivsible ier govemet o the world to blce out evl!) orocco ws chose s the loctio o the ceremoy or severl resos I hd twice prevously vsited there d hd sese o the coutry It ws iepesive. It still hd ctive mgicl trditio d respect or spiritul prctice. I lso simply hd deep ituito tht we would id the pproprite loctio there, somewhere i the High Atls Moutis south o Mrr kesh d orth o the Shr. We set o the Autum of 97 i Volkswge cmpig v, drove cross Frce d Spi, d the took the erry cross the Strights of Gibrltr. We hd severl firly bizrre dvetures s we trvelled roud Morocco lookig or our locio. These dvetures icluded: our V's egie collpsig the busiest motorwy ito Csblc d our sleepig i the v or severl ights prked i betwee two brothels; sty i the vllge o muscis where they still coduct si thousd yer od elbo rte musicl ivocto d the chellig o P; d the trsporttio o v ull o elderly emle Mus pilgrims cross Morocco to the irport where they took the ple to Mecc or the ul Hj pilgrimge. Filly, ter much trvellig d eplortio, we oud the perect loctio. I do ot wt to idetiy the ect vilge d vlley becuse the plce ws uspoit by tourists d deseves to
8
Introdction
remain o Six thouand feet up in the High Atla mounain, close to Mount oupkal, the highes mountain in noh Africa, sepa rated by two mile and a river from the neares armacked road, our houe had been built a a French colonial boar-huig lodge It conited of three room in a row with a veranda and tweny yard from it wa a mall un terrace itting on it own. It water wa brought down from a nearby well he house belonged o the local cement factory owner whom we met through the local bus owner France wa alway extaordinary at �kg connections and the owner wa happy to ee it occupied ad to receive ret. I wa imply an Englih writer seeking quiet. he un terrace wa obviouly where I could build the oratory. We moved into the houe in November 972 and pased through a winter which included four feet of now I built the oraory and the altar, made the holy perfue and the oil, and cut my wand France made my ceremonial robe On the day of the Sprig Equinox 973 I began the Operation. Rereading the Diary, before publihing it a thi book, it wa clear hat certain part of it needed clarifying a I had not writen the Diary for publication he manucript, therefore, wa given to two friend and editor for their uggetion and both made very ueful comment, many of which have been incorporated One of them, however, wanted a coplete description of how Frances and I were living day-by-day d a blow-by-blow pychological explanation of what I wa goig through It wa uggeted, for example, that without more explanatory note I would come over a eaet, pompou and a bi of a chauvinit; but the truth i that I was all of thoe thing at the tie. Equally, the other wanted every ingle reference to my piritual and occult experience explained but to attempt to explain blow-by-blow the different energies and impreion I experienced would be to ugget far greater knowledge and control than I actually possesed. It wa all very intene and the tuth i that I wa barely ane through the whole event. A I tate repeatedly in he Diary, I did not fully undertand what wa happening I, therefore, decided not to incorporate all their uggetion, for then there would be more ote than Diary he Diary would alo loe is mytery if everyhing were ex plained. he reader need alo o remember that it was not written for publication, but wa imply my own journal, often writen in hate, often written in confusion In particular, in retropect, I cannot eaily explain how a radical
Introdction
young noveist, pubisher and counity activist becae the oent that I knet for the first tie in the Oratory I had buit the intense and psychoogicaly ef-fagela tory Judaeo-Christian ystic. But when you read the extract fro the carefu instruc tions of e Book o te Sacred agic you wil ee expicit directions to the agician to huble hiself and acknowledge his sins before God. Fro one perpective thi is ipy a pychoogica technique to keep the unruy ego in order. Fro another occut perspective, to confess huby ever day ceane the energy of the whoe peronaity and, over six onths, buids up a protective force that aows the agician succefully to copete the whoe cereony. when I write repeatedly in the Diary about y worhood' it is not a fase huility; it is a genuine aspect of y being fuy in the pirit of the Operation. And certainly, as I fet y inner resistance to the daiy discipines, I did genuiney fee ysef to be a wor, especialy in relation to the transcendent states of consciousness I was aso experiencing. This i an inner duaity about which I a kinder to ysef today. Equay, once I had started the Sacred Magic it fet as if I had aunched ysef into a sacred draa, a ritual of ystery, with its own distinct favour and dynaic; I had no choice but to urrender yelf copletey to its cutural integrity I need to describe ore fuly in this introduction our physica ocation and our daily routine, especialy so that Frances does not disappear as soe ubisive and oppresed iage which woud be the very opposite of who she is and what he did. Throughout the six onth period, athough acutely aware and supportive of what I was doing, France led her own independent ife. e were iving in a wonderfu ountain valey landscape and, no onger in the centre of London, there were always any things to do and to observe. There were orange and alond tree in our garden, and a vey arge vegetabe patch tended by a oca Berber and his faiy. Eages woud fy over u low enough so that we coud fee the air fro the beat of their wings and flocks of storks woud stop in our garden when it was being watered. Snakes and izards ived and sunbathed around u. And when it wa very wet, hundreds of toads fro the river wold travel the haf ie up the sope of the valey to urround our house and create an obstace course for huans at night. There were very beautifu waks in all directions and there were reationship to keep up with the ocal peope such as the post aster, the chief of police and so on. Frances and I had been reeased for the first tie fro urban ife into rura biss.
0
Introdction
Whr w livd wa xtraordinarily bautiful Th popl wr opn, piritual and frindly Phyically and ocially, w wr in havn W drov down into Marrakh onc a wk to do th hop png and w took it in turn to cook Franc had many book to rad and wa alo working on hr own writing W alo had occaional viitor, mntiond in th Diary, and Franc pnt tim with thm xplorng th local ara From th viitors' prpctiv and from th prpctiv of th lol, I appard to b an intropctiv and antiocial writr who likd praying in hi hom-built chapl Franc, howvr, wa outgoing and amiabl, and mad u accptabl Sh wa alo a trong magical workr in hr own right and I wa alway awar and gratful for hr upport; I knw thn, a I till do, that thr ar fw womn, or mn, trong nough or gnrou nough to accompany through uch a tim
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OF A-EI E GE
Meseeet ere tat ow some may say: "he ore ost tou ot write ow te words o o prayer te ic so eo, seeig that a or me, I a eiter scety eared, o evot, o wise? Ko ye tat ou i te giig you prayer b bt eebe, it i suce, provie tat ye uderstad ho to ema t rce of te Lo it love ad a r heat, ece it ust e tat u a pray omth ort. Aso it sert otig to speak ithout dvotio witout attetio, iout iteigee ; o yet o proouce it it te out aoe, itout a tu t ; o yet to rea it as o te igorat ad th po But it s asoute ecessary tat you pay ho isue fro te ist of your eart, ecause spy tt do praers i rii t earig of te will o way expi uto ou o realy to pra. his s th reaso tat ae ot ise to give uto you ay speal or of raers a oratios, so tat ye youv ay lear fro a of ourseves ow to pray, ad ow to voke te oy e of o, our Lor ; ad o that reaso I e ot wii tat ye sou rely upo m i orer to r Y ave te Hoy a Sared Scripture, te ic s e it very eautiu ad potet raers ctios o grace. Stuy te ei, a er erro s ae o ack of strutios ow to ra it frit d toug i te coecet or rer a be weak, it sucet tat yor rt re oa tors o, Wo litte by itte i i i you His Hoy Spirit, o i so teac ou ete your Spirit tat ye sa bo ko or to ra. W s rore our oraios, cose hs
is h grea ot o e sude in al agial peains se ad uless h ole hea ad sou and fah o h he en there an o rlable result prou
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THE
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te ido, ad go ort rom te Oratory ; so tat o oe ay be able terei to eter ; ad ye sa ot ourselves eter agai util te eveig we te u sal be set e sall ye eter terei ares, a sa pero� m your prayers i te same aer as i te morg. Fo te rest, ye sall gover yourselves eac ay as sall tel you i te olloig istructios. Cocerig te Bed Camer a te Oratory, a ow tey soul be arrage, i tel ereafter i te levet Capter t is requisite tat ye sall ave a Be Caber ear te or else your oriary aitatio, wic it is ecessar to torogly cea out a pere, a see tat te Be be bot e a cea. Your woe attetio ust be give to purity i al tigs ; ecause te Lord at i abomiatio a tat is ipre. You sall sleep i tis sai aber, a ou sa cotue terei urig te day, tere trasactig te matrs wic elog uto your busiess ; ad tose wic you ca dispese it, leave aloe. You ay seep wit your ife i te bed e se is pure ad cea ; ut he se at er motly courses you sa ot alo er to eter te bed, or eve te Caber. very abbateve it is ecessary to cage te seets of te be, a al te li e very aturay you sal perfue te Caer Ad ye sa ot alo ay og, cat, or oter aial to ete ito or el terei ; so tat tey may o a e abe to reer it cea As rearet te matimoial obligatio, it is cstity, a te uty tat o egederig cire ; but te oe sould e oe i te Fear o Go, a, above al tgs, i suc case see tat your ie be ot impure. But urig te ooig our Moos ye sa ee sexual itercourse as ye wou The tile of te levent apr o the cod
"oerig e Seletio f te Plae no
ok is:
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REI E GE
th Plague Ee e e e, endeaour to send thm awa uo oe e eoe (commencng the raio), so a e o e hnran rom bing aou ou ee e eeon o h famy, and inans a e e. As rgae e ee o ou le ad acin, all hav ga uo o saus ad condo If b your o se, a a a e in your owr yorsl om a u uess, a qu all mudane a vai om a oesio leadng a lif trani, olitar a oes. oem you hav b a wik, dace aou uuous and proud ma, av and ee o a ee es. onsd that ths was n th rcia reso M V J, O, a oe ol men rrd into dsrt as, unl a e que s Hoy Sin and Magic eause ee ee e m eol, many scandals o ae a ee s, Si omh whch a eng oee e away h ngel of God, ad e a ee uo Wisdom omt losed unto e a a ou a h covrsaion of mn, an esec o e as av be the omanos o ou ee o wo ha ld yo into i Y shall eeoe seek eement as a a ssibl ntil ha sall e eee ta Grac of t ord hic ask. Bu a Doe Servan who i om lld to sere a ae o well hae ths con vnncs (or wok eomg h Oration) Tak wel ee eg o uss, i sllng or bying, ha all e equse a you nvr giv way nto anger, u e oe a ae ou actions o sha se aa o ous ea da aer haing dind, durg e ou sall read wh ar th oly Scriue ad oe Hol Books, ecaus hy will ig h cas wh th sprt uo the Sacred
Mic is S ay h sg str.
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T BK SACRD AGC
tah yo to b good at rayig, and ow to fa the Lord ; ad thus da y day sa y er know yo Cratr. T ot xrses wch b ee and mte nto you, ar hreat s fo and ica n e Eevet atr. As for atg, drink ig ad sing suc ou b in moderati ad nvr sous I is esecia ssa o sh dnkss, ad uc dine Cott orsf wth atig a your ow ouse, your faiy, i t pa ad uit wich God ah gatd to you. o soud eve se duig he day, bt you may h morg fo a tat ou hae ormd you dvoions ou ay if ou wis agan go to bd to rst yorslf. Ad if it hapnh cace that yo do o ris sitl ary, that is to sa foe srs, it doth ot graly mattr (providd that it ot don of vil t), ad ou sha efom ou ordiay moring prayr ; u you shoud no acusom yorslf to b sloth, it big alwas btte to ray to God at an arly ho CNCBNNG CLTHNG AND FAMY
or drss hold b la b modrat, ad aod ng to som Fl all vaiy. ou shall hav two drsss, ord that yo may b abl to ag thm ; and yo shal ang tm h ve of a aa, ang th on on wk, ad th ohe the nx ; brshing ad rfumg tm awas bfoehad. As fo tha hch gard th fami, h fewe i Te bjet mst ese istruti is urse t keep te
str Spere te spirt r rm e iuecs, d us im t ure d ly tut d t te exerise Will pwer d Sel-trl Te studt te di Ttws wl knw te lue tve medi t Surise se t et s h c mmeemt te Tti urse i te dy d he pw te S
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R-EI E E
nbr h br also act so tha te servants may e os a rau All the pces o advce e prca os hch s el to observe s or t res ou h o o kp beor yor es the Tales te La durg a hs me ad also ateards ; ecause hs Tabs shuld be te rle o yor le L our ha be ever ready to gve als and oter ens to ou nighbor and l your eart evr open uno h oor hom God so lov that one cannot express te sam Ad h ca tha urng hs perod yo shold e attacd b so llnes ch old not permt yo to go uno h Oraory, ts ned not oblge o t ado your rprse at once ; t yo shoud overn yourself o h bs o our ab ad n sch cas y o shal rfor or oratons in or d etratng God o or ou o hah so tha o ay enabld to co u uakg a ak h sacrcs hc b du a so wh h grar srng b able to or to oban s o A hs s a at e shold do and oserve durn tse to Moons IG CPTR. CONERNIN TH TW SCND MNS.
o rst Moons bng nshd h to sco Moons follo drng e c ye shal ae yor prayer, mrnn an eveng a h our accustomed ; t efore rg no e ratory ye sall as yor ads a face thorogly t pre ater. And o shal rolog our prar te greatest possble aco oo a sumso ; umly entratg th Lord Go ha H old dn to command Hs Holy
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BOOK OF E SRED GC
ne t ed yu in te Tu Wy, n Wism, nd nede, y tuyin th hich ssiuusy n te ced Witn tee ill ris more nd r Widm n y et e use the rits of Mrrie is permitted, ut oud crcely if t l b se o duin ti erid) sll lso s your ol boy vy t ve t rrdh coerc nd mnne ivin, I ve lrey iven unto y ou sucint inucti n Oly it s slutly ncessary rir om te d ee etet ; nd y shll lente yu y te utos yur biliy eing, rin ing n clotin y sll ven y n excly te sa nr s in te t t ; except hat ye shll fas ( Qablisticl st) very t Ev : Te Sbbah is for h Jes, re cctmed obsrv sa vry Saury, but Ctns te bbh is he Suy, n hey ut t cnde te tury s its Ev THE ITH CHPTR . R T H B TW LAST S W H U T THUS BNCBD
IG n oon shal s yu nds n your ac on nrin e O ty ; n rsly y sll me Cnes in ll your sis ; ter is, it very dent prayer, ye shall ente te
.. h ritin
t T rabl n the bd-chmb Oaory.
eg the
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1
Lord to accord nto you thi articula gac, which i, ha ou may njoy and al to ndur· th enc an converaon o Hi Holy Angls, and tat H may dgn y thr ntrmssion to grant uno you th Sct Wdom so that you may b a to hav dominion ovr th Srts and ovr all creatur Y hall do s same at midday fore dning and alo in th eveng so that during hes two lat oon hal rorm e rayr thr tme a day and durng thi tim y sall er kee th Prfum uon Altar Ao towards the ed of your Oraion, y shall ray unto th Holy Anges slcating thm to ear your acrc for th ace o God in ordr to ntrcde o ou, ad that thy hall asst you in all your oeraton during ths two oons The man ho i hs own matr hall av all usness aloe ee orks o carty ward hi nghour You sal sun all soey excet that of your th greatst We a o our ervans. Y shall ar o our te n seaking of th Law God, and in readg sc orks as treat wly throf o that you es may e oened unto that whch from ast tim evn unto th rsent have not a yt n, no thoght f, nor lvd Every Saat E hal y ast, and wah you whoe ody ad cang yor garmn urthrmore ye shall hav a Vt and Tni of in, which y hall u on vry tim that y nt into t atory, ore ye commnc to ut th Prfum in th n, a hall tl y mo uly hraft Also y sall hav a akt or othr convnint v of coer lled wh harcoa to t ind t nr when ncssay, and which can tak otid the a Qu u pu jo rlr
t I dedet
prJc etc
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tory ecase the Censer tslf hould nevr be taken away fro te lace Note ell hat aer havng erfored our rar o ought to tak i· o of the Orator, eecally d urng the Two la oon an e old inter t i a place which cannot well b ade unclea n sc s a garden. THE CC RI G
WHT
TENTH T H I NGS
CHAPTER. A
MAN
MA
LA
AD
S TU DY D U I N G T H E SE TW MOS.
HOUGH h b counel whic I can give i tat a an houd go no retiret in so r or oude until the of h Sx oon i uno ths raion ul a hat h hall have obtand tha whch ihth ; a th Acens sed to do ; nertheles no h hardl ole ; and we t accoodat orl uo t ra (i whc we ve) ; and being na o carr t out in one wa, we sol endaour to o o anothr ; ad attac orseves onl uno Dv ne Thing Bt thre be crtan ho canot vn do tis thorouhly noithang t a honetl wh the sae ; nd ths becae of thr dr ploents and oiton hich ll ot rt to ac in accordance ith their der o at h are compelled to carry on ther orldly occuaton In order then tat such ay kno hat occuatons and buiness they can follo out thot rejdice to ths Opertion, I ill here stat the ame n f word We ay then exercie the rofn of Medicine, and al arts conced h the ae ; and e ay e •
l.e, te ashes
of the charoal nd icense.
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o ll opetons c ed nto ct nd mec tods o neibou puel d sply s o t concenet the lbel ts e teest oseves stono, ec, bt ee l ts d opetons c ve te est tnctue c d Soce t e must not conod toete God nd B G shet to e lone ; ut m petn l o lo. te bve mtte e ve mtt duin te to st n te to econd Moos. ou y l n d o eceto ; t shl do no sevle o ; d dst te es d te uts yo c lso mdtt po te etess· Gd. Bt dn te to td d lst o s t eey ote te o tt ecto t consst tns Sptu d ve. e t pticpos n te onveston t nels d t Dvne Wsdo, l sde ndsceet tns d ea t s plesue we e cn spe to o thee hous to stud te Holy Scpte, ecse enceom sl deive ncedbe pot ; nd ee te less e lened so mc te moe ll e become cleve. t scet tt n te pemce Osons ye sll not ive nto seep nd tt e s l n nose ts opeton to nelec d vount In t txt idntl li t o gandu is rt ganu ganu d Lai c cu
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THE ELVENTH CAPTER.· NBRNING T H SBL BTI ON O T H B PACB .
E sod mke te Selection o te Pc (or te Opetion boe cocing it, ad pior t te cleration of t Passovr, �h ordr tt w a decid upon th sam wtout indranc, and it s cssar that tns old b pepard He o coenth ts Oprtio i sotd can eect pce ccodn to is plasur hr thr is wood n te midst of wic yo shall ake t nd yo sll covr te s with ut ( o eter) ne ances, so tt te rain a not fal teen nd eting te ap nd te Csr Arond te lt t te distance of sv paces you shall prpar ede o oes, pnts, and gn shrubs, so that t y did te etnce ito tw o parts that is to sa, te nteor wee te Atar ad abracl wil b e pced ter te anne o a ple ad th part Ete wic wit te est o t place wl e as ot teento No yo comence not tis Opration i te Conty, bt per t in a o, o i soe dwlligpe w sow nto e wat sha b necssa . ee+ + Ye sl coose n partt wc h hat a Wid ow ned to te wc sll a ucovrd rrc (or
•
• This chapter i s previouly rfd to th Sv Chapr n akg of th Bed-hamb ad t raory. til L'avmue"; the mder sns o ths wod , of our, a oad or a rdee by ees : Compare e olloig decpon wth that of Sr Philp Dral's so-cad seat oy, t Strange oy, by Bw Lytton.
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5
Baony, n a d or sal ro t r ith a o, bt so that thr ay b on eery ids hne yo ay b ble s n vey d io, an n o ay nr nto h Orat I h hh pl· th vl Spt sll b ble pp sin hy annot appr th Orato tsl In he hh ple besde the Ortoy to r t qa th North, yo sall e roe o e ode th hh nd r ene ne my b ble th rator I mysl als d o le indos md y Ortory, d th o th Conaon f th Spiits, I sd to opn the nd o bh th shttrs nd th d, so that I old easily se n ry d n onstrin m t to oby me. Th Ortory shold lys b lr n a s ad the oorig shold b ood t pne ; his pl shold b so ll and relly prepa rd that on y jdg it t be plae ds tied uto prar Th Terr ad th ontuos Lod hr ar to inok t Sprts shold or with rr sn to t dpth o o nrs t th lst Th ltar shold be ertd n the mdst th ratory ; d ay on mkth hs O rtory n dsert plas, h shold bld t stons hih ner bn rkd or hen, o e tod by h mm. Th Chabr§ shd be brded th n d and Lap ll of il Ole ld b ssndd tren th hh ry ti tht y shall a bred yr pr ad shd yor orsn y shall xtinsh handso Cnsr of bronze or o slr on hth the as, st be plad pon h tar the hh shold in no is be rovd rom its pla ntil th Opratin • Ie Trr or Blony. t Ie, Spiris ! Ie Alr. § H r v ms Orory d o the · chambr srb Cpr VII
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K E SRED C
7
THE ELVENTH CAPTER.· BR TH SBLBT TH B PACB
E soud mke te Selection of t Pac (for te Opertion) beo comcing it, and por to te celebratio of the Pssovr i � ordr tt we y decid pon the sae itot idanc, n it is ncssary that tn s ould be prepard. e o comeneth ts prtio i sote cn eet plce ccodn to is psr hr thr is ood n t e midst o w ic h y o shall ake t nd yo ll covr te e ith t (o eter) o ne brnces, o tat te ain a not al teon nd etin te p nd te s Aound te lt t te distne o sv pce yo shal prpre ed o oes pnts, nd green shrbs so tat it my did te etne ito t o prts ; that s to say te teor ee te Atar ad abrac ill be pced ter te nne o a ple ad th part Eto ic it te st o te plac ll be s oto teento. o you coce not tis Operation i te oty bt perfor t i a o, o in soe dllingpe so nto ye t shall be necssay ee.+ + Ye s coose n Apartent ch ath a Wo oe to te ch shll be a ncoverd rrac (or
• �
This chapter is prevously rfrd to th Sv Cptr in sakng of th dha ad t Oraory t L'avnue"; te mdrn sns o s wod s, of cours, a oa or ah ordered ees. Cmpare e olloig dscpon wt tht of Sr Philp Drva's so-cad Obseatoy, t Strg ory y ulwer Ln
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B·MLN H M
loy, n odge o sl oo o t o h oo, b so t tee y b on evey inos hen yo y be bl to see n vy d on, n hen o y ne nto he Oo I e hch ple he vl Spt sll be b to ppe sce h anno appe t Oo tsl I h hch plc, bsd th Ooy o te o the ot, o sll e oo o oe od n the hh nd om hene one my be bl to h Oo mysl lso d to l ndos mde my Ooy, t the e o e Convoton of te Spts, sed to open the nd o boh the stts nd the doo, so at I could sly s n vy sde nd consn hm to obey m. The Otoy sold lys be cl nd le s and the oog shold be o ood, o ht pne ; n ne, hs plce shold be so ell nd elly pepd, tht on my jdge t o be plc destned uo pe Th c ad contguos Lodge he ae o nvoke t Spts e sould cove th ve snd to te dph o o nges t th lest The Alt shold b cte n th mdst o te Oto ; nd y one keth s Ooy n dest ples, he hold bld t o stos hch hve neve been oked o en, o evn tohed by the hmm. Te hmbe sold be boded th ne ood, nd Lp l of l Olve old b susended the n, h hh evy m t y sll hve bnd yo peme and is yo oiso, ye shall ngsh A hndsom Cs of bonz, o o slve f one ht the mns, must be plce pon t Alt th hc shold n no s b movd om ts plc ntl the Opeaton I Trr or Bony.
I Alr § H r ms chamr dsrb C ptr V
t e, Spirs
th Orory d o the -
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Chaers, unto the whh I refer ou, so as not to be to rolx And I only sa unto you, ta durig e ourse of the two rst and two seo oos, eery Saturday wen ye erform the Orsn, ye shall also burn th Perfme as well n e mornin as n the evning ; and i th tw thir and last Mons e sall make the aye an he Perfume thrie daly N ere ath he last at of the time arrve ; thfore oen e yu eys and e aeve, and overn yorseles in everytng an ery lae in th a whih I have written unto you ave ondene in od, beause if even nti the ye have fathfull observed me nstrutons whh I have iven unto you, and i yor Oisons shall have been made wit a rigteous heart and wit devotin, thre is o manner of doubt tat all hns will aear easy to yo, and your own sri and our undersandin will teah you the manner in wh you shoul ondut yourself n all ons beause your Guarda Angel is already abo u, ough Invsile, and ondutet and overnet your heart, so hat yu shall ot err. e two Moons beng ished, in he mornn e shall ommene all ta is ommanded in the nth aer, an frther bserve his reset Chater he rs ye shall enter t he Oraor, leav your shoes without, ad havn oened he window, ye shall lae the lihted oals n the Censer wh y shall ave brougt wth yo, you shall lght the am, and ake rom the Cuboar of the lar your two est Whch ge the tco o thee s
Coceg the two lt II Put o th ss om o th eet o the plce heeo tho stest i ho gou § It wl b rmarked how this t isiste o " ch ply hold ee o the cols d ot to the ce
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ments, te Crn te nd t n tm pn e tr t te Sre e nd s sme t eme p te n pe yrs pn r ee ryn nt t e t ev THB ORISON.
0 R y ; d tent t B nn n Liberl ; W test e tsnd y nd n ts eetns ; ettt te nite te sns n t tsresns ; se resene nne n en ; st te trnsessns te te p t nepes nt te tr t tn ; I my etedness nd t I m t rty t p ere y ne st e me besee Ty dness n er te s r B 0 Ld Ld t y Bty e tt Itse It et t e es ther sns nd de t pp n t tem t drn T e d d ve py pn n te r e nty nd me ; n m e s sn ; rene t my St mt t t t my be st n be t me t ystery t s sm. Snt s t O Stt ere t t ts ; ry t t tnet t me tt I t Cnesn sdm n nt t su vs Ws s A g ro Es ; ls wl r Prfry
r s r ms s
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t en to Ty roet oe te Sr. men. men." T i the rye c myelf mde se o n my Conecrton ; te c I e not hee to cone yo to certn form no o oble yo to emoy e me no to tel t yo over ld to prrot om I od s to tec to tl ; bt only nd oey to e nto yo n de o t e mnner n c e od ry. n sed yor Oron e rom yo ee nd ont te centre o yor oreed t tte o te Scred O ; ter t d yor ne nto te me O nd nont tereth the fo e corner o te tr. Toc lo t t o ly O t e Vetment te Gde te Co nd te nd on bot de. Yo sl lo toc te Door nd te Wndo of t e Ortory. Ten t ner died n te Ol yo l rite on te de o te tr tee ord o tt tey my be eecty cey rtte o ec de n teer pce t my be eren Comemoton f My me be de I l come nto yo d l bles yo. T ein done te Conecto nse, nd ten ye l pt te ite Tnc d ll te oter t ito te pbord of te lt. Ten neel don nd me yor ordnry ryer d do n te Trd Cter ; n be el e to te no cosecrte tn ot o the rtory ; nd drn t e ole o te en perod ye ll ente te Ortory d ceebrte te Oce th ed eet. • The pe the th ee in the n re .
Thi i ppretly lip r the Svn Chpter he Thir Chpte nl t ne rgrig the wh re tte erta the n
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T TITT CPR NNG TH CNVCATN TH GD SRITS.
ard t pt c y shall b bl t s claly, duly l ut d bs te nstucts hic I ha ut you, d dur all ths tm s God y ou t t pct t W e d te tm, hr t ll m s betms t sh youss t l dss yosls t you oy clts bu t t ob ; et t t th b t ; t te sde te ens, t t shs tm d pc t upo y d t th mp d put t cs t t Cns d pd t wdo, tu unt te d Te pstt yos t you c s t und, d d th hld to pt te m up te Cns, t wch h s to plc msl up s ns b t Altar llo l th s d uout t nstucts wc I e to y te st cp t st B, t c I umlt yusl bo Gd d s Clst out, cmmc y u y t eu tn s tt yu l b t am yous n py, ad you l s p xtday nd supntul Spldu hich w ll ll t l ptment nd l suud u t n xpssbl u, d ts al ll csl yu ad cm you ht s tt you shl call r appy th y th d Aso ee B
I , hpter X I Bee previ when h e h enine rei hpter i h een ne the in thi en B t whh he h reerre
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acsimile o e Book o te Sacred gic
OOK OF SRD I
e ld experene n dmrbl elng o contentment n presee o te ngel And you shll ontnue lys yor ryer redoublg yor rdour nd ervour, d sll pry e Holy Angel tt my degn to Sgn, nd wrte upo smll sur plt o slvr wc yo sl v d md o ths purpos nd ou sll ve pled pon te Altr) oter gn yo sll ve ned o t n order to see m ; nd vrytng whic yo r to do As soon s te nl sll ve mde te gn by wrt nd tt e sl ve wtn down some oter counsel wc y b necssry uto you, e wll dsppr but te splndour l remn T wc te Cld vng obsred, nd mde the sgn tero unto you, ou sll commnd m to brng yo ul e ttle plte o silver, nd tt wc you nd wrten tereon yo sll t once copy, d order te Cld to replce t upo te Alt en you sl go ort rom t rtory nd l t ndo opn, d t Lm lgt, nd durng ts wol dy you sll not entr nto te rtory ; but sl mke preprton or te dy ollong ; nd durng te dy you s spe to none, nor me nswer, ev er t your own we or ldren or servnts ; excpt to t Cld om yo n snd wy lso yo sll beorend ve set your rs n order, nd so rrnged tem tt no embrrssent my be used you tereby, mgt dstrt yor ttenon In te evenng en te sll be set yo sll et bt soberl ; nd ten o sll o to rest lone ; nd yo sll lve seprted rom our e drng tese dys rng evn ys sll o p erorm te Ceremones tou ng thrn n ny wy ; nmel, te y o If the perto he h eveope the rvoyt fulty ;
wh the tning he h bete he to or x onth ogt to hve getl ie n pre n n I n ee no eety for the empoment a h ee
acsimile o e Book o te Sacred agic
31
OF REI E E
t nscratn, h Thr Days the onvocato t Gd and Hly Sprs, and h Thr ohr Dys t nvocaon h Evl Sps. th scond morng afr, you are to b prpard ll h counsl hch h Agl l hv gvn u. You ll go arl uo h Oraory, yo u c the ghtd charcoal and prums n h Cs, r to rght th Lap b (b hat tm) tngushd ; and arng th sa ob o n s o th day bor, prost th your c trd th rud, yu sall humbly pry unto an suppcat rd tha He my hav py n yu, and tt H m dgn o ull your prar ; that H l nt n u h vson o s Hl Angls, d tat t Ect prts may dg t grant unt yu tr fal convrs. And thus shall pry ut th utst d sall b ossbl unt you, and t th grtst rvur hat you can brng nt act rm yur hrt, d ths durng h spc o t tr hurs. Thn ut h Oratr, rturnng thhr t mddy or anor ur, and ually agan n h vnn ; tn yu shal at ar th mannr aorsad, nd g to rst ndsand also ta th dur and t spd l n ns u th Oratry. trd dy bng n rvd, u sll ct ts. T vnn (bor) ou sal as yur hl boy tu ; and h morn, ng drssd dn garmns, yu shal ntr nto th Oratry, but t d t. avng placd h r a rus h nsr, nd lgtd Lamp, you sall put n th Wt Vstn, and plc yoursl on your ns bor h Alr, to rdr hanks to God or al Hs bns, ad rstly r havng grand unt u 3 Tsr so gr ad so prcous You sall rndr hanks as unt t Holy Guardan Agls prayg uo hm t ncfrrd th hv yo n hr cr or
acsimile o e Book o te Sacred agi
24
HE K F HE
e sed, f o erformth t a dwghou for n te oe cur oe ca o t h ont s n l t oer, w sou ru a gr urselves cordig unt t ma a ur oa e ltr, sould be ma of woo, ug o e ollo tn after the manr o a cubar, whr o sll ee all the ecssar thg, uch a o oes te Crow o tre, the a, h o , te rdle or Belt, te Perum ad a hr hg w m be ecessr e seond hablim w b r or o ien lare ad whte, wth a rr me sleees e other obe wll b of Crm or rl l th old, d t shoul b logr h ut uo te nees, t sleeves of smlar stu A or vestmets, there s o rtular rul or or ese nstrucos to b olow u r resendet clea, and brlla t ar r w be o shal also me r f lk o f lor s the uc, erwha ou ha gr Yo shal hav uon our ha a bauu rw r oe llet of l a d o Yo ha rr h red Ol i th s maner a of mrr ars, oe rt ; of e camon, two art galaga hal a rt ; d te haf o th tota wgt of the rug te est ol oli he wch aromacs o hal x toeter ccordi uto th Ar of t Aocar, a shll e thereof Blam, th wch ou a k lss vil hc o sha ut wh h uoar fred the tero r of th ltar h Pre • T Rorn Ii ll n th d h m irr e /as . ? G o gg In r ud fo eal S rio o H g l ad Pe x xx
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EI E GE
25
7
shall b a tus : a of nense tes one rt ; o t ' hal a art of n Aoes q rter of ar t big abl to gt ths wood o sll te that o r, or o ros, or of tron, or n oter oorirou oo Yo sll rede ll tese nredens to r owr, m tem well toeter nd sa i a box or oter onvenet vessel. s u wll cosum a grat del of ts rfu m, t ll be asal t o mx oug on t e eve of t e bbt o lt th whol wk. You shall also ha a nd of Almondtree ood smooth a straight, o th lgt of bot from lf n ll to six t A sl ee te foresd tn good orr th bord § of te Altr, red for us t ror tm ad la Hr ollowt th mner of orden oeself a o oratig T TWFT CAPTER. H N B SH D KBP NBSBL N RDBR ARRY T HS PBATN WB
Oprato big truly Dvne, t s
ssar o mor to trt of nd dstguish t resent Conserton to rt rods o tme You shall ten nderstd tt dr th two rt a two scod oos, o oter Cosertio must b rormd t tt of e ve alra sok i th vt d t foreon la. r tr a ao ; bt r perp pe rte n am lg L b v d olo nrr te lt
32
acsimile o e Book o te Sacred gic
K C C
e wole erod o or le ; also tat e ll n ever abando ou, at e wll lead ou te Wa o e ord, ad tat e wll wat areull over ou to assst ou, ad onsent unto e resent eraton o te Sared ag, so tat ou sall ave su ore and Vrtue tat ou ma be able to onstran rts aursed God, uto the Honour o our Creator, and or our on good and that o our negbour Ad then sall ou rs be ble to ut o te test weter ou sall ave well emloed the erod o our S Moons, and o well and ortl ou sall ave laboure i the quest o te Wsdom o te ord ; sne ou sall see our Guardan Anel aear uto ou n unequalled beau ; o lso wl onverse wt ou, and se n words so ull o an and o oodness, and wt su sweetness, tat no ua onue ould eress e same He wl anmate o uto our rea onten n te ear o God, mang ou retal o te blessngs w ou ave reeved rom God ; and brngg unto our remembrane te sns b ou ave oended m durng te wole erod o our le, wll nstrut ou and gve unto ou te manner w ou shall be ble to aease m b a ure, devou, and regulaed le, and b honest nd mertorous atons, nd su tngs s God sall orda uno ou ter s e wll sow uno ou e rue sdom nd ol ag, and also weren ou ave erred n our eraton, and ow erward ou suld roeed n order o oveome e l Srts, and nall arrve at our desred ends e wll romse never to abandon ou, but to deend ad ssst ou durng e woe erod o our le ; on ondto that ou sall obe s ommands, and at you sal ot volutarl oed our Creator I one word, u sall be reeved b w su aeton at • I.e, pi n pti ui n
Facsiile o e Book o te Sacred Magic
I HE
33
8
s sro wch hr g uo ou sha aar a mr g marso Now at s o omm rr f m wrtg, sg ha b h ra f h Lor a submt a cosg o to a TR so grat a h wl r t o rr bsr at o h hr a o shou rma famar corsato * wh our uara Ag You shold qu t raor for a sor tm aftroo rema wthout abou a hour ; th for the rst of e da ou sha rma thr, rcg from the ol g dst a a formaio rgar rs a th mar of brgg h m to bsso carfu wrtg dow ad tag os of all ths atrs Now th u bg st o sa rform h rso wh th orar Prfum gg thas uo o aruar for th r grat rac ha H hah grad uo o that a thr as sag Hm b roous uo ou a to a o urg our who f so hat ou shal r b abl to od Yo sha aso rr has uo or arda Ag a bsc hm o to abao o h Prar bg sh ou w s that t ldor w saar h sha o qut th Oraor cos g h oor, bu ag t wows o ad t am ag You sha rur as o th r ed as uto our aarmt whr o sha mol rcrat orsf a a our cssar fo, o sha go to rst t th foowg morg • En
cnsan an
34
8
Facsiile o e Book o te Saced gic
HE BOOK OF H RED MAGIC
OUT C CONCENN THE CONVOATON O THE SIRITS-
U H th foowg ace ma be ar car for th most art sce ha ara a to o a tg car to o ; a o seg that or uara Ag wl ae uct trt ou a that ou hou do ; et rth wl hr ar a crta matters to o, wth th a rathr of mag the acout of th erto comte th oo1 a so to ge ou er oortut of og th mattr thorough throug rag th thg ma tm ; o that ng rc o of th g yo ma oursef thoroughl tut a th ta ot Hag th o ouf rg th ht ou ha r th morg bfor aw a hal tr to th rato ; a ha g ac the ght Charcol th Censer ght th am o o ha th roe ourf, tag t th ht etmt a oer hs ou hal ut o that o k a o, th the rle, a uo our ha o hal a th Crow o h a th a uo th Atar h hang ut h Prfum th Cer ou ha fal o or es a ra to Amght o to grat ou t race to h or rato to th a a ory of s o am a for o ur ow a that of o ighour o o shal ult or uara those of a mateil force ; any beg vil, soe ew n
ed to good os t of a xed nue soewat god yet te e peomiat he sostos. ts Scod Book of he he costut te tse ! e Red Roe o Mante
Facsile o Te Book o te Sacred agic
BR-MLN HE E
35
8;
el to ai ou an to overn our eat wit is counsl an all our ss fter th o hall a th a in our rgt an, a ra unto Go to ive to a a muc rtu forc, an owr as H av uto thoe of O of AR, o f E, an of th othr Prot woe number s innit. N ow lac ourself bsie th Altar looin towards th oor a th on errac ; or if ou b in the Coutr lac ourlf at t trn * si, an commence summon h Cief Srts a Prc Bu our Al wll alrea ae nstruct o o o convoe hm, a will a ucintl imrs t on or rt nd as ell n t a n te iso, e should never roceed an act b te mout ol or b ritn Conjuraios aloe ; but wth a free eart an intre courae ; bcause t certa tha thre s mor cult n con voin te Evil Srts tan te Goo, ic latter usuall aar ore real en te are rs calle f t b b rons of oo nten ; whle te Evil Srts e as much as oibl all occason of submitng temsls to man. h s whrfoe wo wht t costrai thm shou uon his uar and foll ou faithfull from ont to ot te nstructons wic is Guar Anl wll hae vn im, an tat m . " Ou s vos s n a es vos cos onn " h wo a n amot obolete n moe rench bng ly
employe a nacal n an even thn but raely I m ple the Wet or rather h par of the cen towar the Wet n i the mle ge th expeon wa not n we e he cclt uen wl ema hee e a of tung to te a to pay an to te e o nvo But ally n Magc t avabe to rn towar e quarer ympathec n naure w hat o he Spr yo h to o ha if yo conoe thm to s o Bt all meva taon le hat hey are rey eogh t come f yo a ene p whg to make pc wh tem o oban mcal fre i e Mgca pe t n ntte ept
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H BOO OF HE SAD MAG
88
presseth them well upo s mmor folog them from pont to pot seg that whl o prt oo or vl an ko the secrts of our hart ore ou orsel rg the same to t, ls o h o ao kowth all thigs shou maest tem th (the prts nevertheless ca enetate to an uersta that whch o ar thg mas of our actos a our ors hs s the reaso wh e who w sheth oprl to convoke an cojure the pt, houl rst well consr the follown Cojuratio ; a afterwar perform wth feelg a reel hart an ot b wrtn becase sg that compose others, th prt thenc je that w ourlvs are gorat, a rene hemsee straghtwa or tractae a stborn e l prts e aot ou, thoug nvsle, a the eenl ame wetr he who cojret them coraeos or tm, wethe r he s pret, a whether e hath a true fath o ho ca perform al thng wh ease e ca onstra the te prt , ad orce tem to appear ; u a few wor ill pronone b an lltentioe prso onl proce a eect agans he ron hmsef wo gorat prononceth them ; ad a nval o suc a character shol o a nderae ts praton for suh woul e e re a o a moc o Go an to tept m • Ths is wh n regous gl wrtngs uh stress is i on the imponce o contollg t toghs ; hh re s t
were our prototypl pee n con n l tes o porne. Me thughtreng woul one ugget hs to prons unsle in uti
t Les E jugn parla dnosr norans srnn ls rck oiz In now e lue o n Inoton
written hself n rony n expressng exly hs wil n ie But t not ey e ul o n o the onur tns hne n by rt.
Facsimile of The Book of the Sacred Magic
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O F BRA-MELIN THE MAGE. OF
TH E
CNJURTIOS.
I
hv my m ee to yo hat h Fea o Go h rca sbjct of h rco o o Guara Ae, a w hch yo ho ve commi a aut, v f b b lh y : Yo sho form oj aio o mother oe, * or e at yo wll ra, a coj h Srts by h auhoit of a hir ob ec o h Holy Paachs, has hm xam of th a fall, o he eec hch Go ath rooce aai hem, ad of he ao o r ; how o oe se a on aother they hae be aqhe by he Goo es by Ws l hch pot yo w have ha ly f ootty to s h ace s g the Sx Moo (of raao) . o yo shall meace them, cae they are wlli to obey, w cal o yor ad t he P owe of he Ho y Aels ovr them Yo Garda Ael wll aso have tct o o efom hs Covocaton with modest, ad wse o b m, bt coaos, y moao oeve, wtho too ovebea hare a baver cae of ther be cled to rei, a w to obey yo, yo mst o o at accont ve ay aer, becas th yo oly o j y to yoelf ad they l ak ot beter, i be xacy ha hey o be eevo o o ; bt (o the coray wth a nrep heat, a ut yo whole Go, wth a aq hear yo shal exho them yie, let them ee ha yo hav t al o codec the Lv a Oy Go, rem hem ho Yet he avaage it s bing in a anguage whch u do t imedately assciate with the thigs f every-day life is reat, prvid lwys a ou uerstd the wr n repea m and prue thm crrct. •
38
Facsiie o Te Book o te Sacred agic
THE OOK OF SAED AG
owrfu ad o H s hus, hror, gor our f, ug uc oards hm Ad commuca u hm o orm * h whch ou wh hm o r h wch ou c o drm, or v hmsvs, bu ou ough h g bfor o hav dma s from our ur da Agl, who oth br ha ou our ur a couo, ad who unrad h form whch ca rrf ou, a thos of whch ou ca ur sgh Ad ou mu o h h h c b o or ws, as cran Accursd Prsos wr h s o sa, b mas of as, a Couraos, a urous gurs, ad Pacs, ad ohr Abomas, wr b aboca Echars or hs woud h co whwh h Hdous wou bu ou or hs slav. Bu l our who rus b h Arm, h Powr, ad h orc of Go lmgh th sha ou b al saft, ad h Gard of ou Ag w dfd o u fom al dagr hs s w o u hou h good courag, ad ha conc ha o ar c ha uo ou. bsrvg h n h ocr ha our g l wll hav gv uo ou, a rsrg cg a our ru God, a lgh h wll aar n h form commad uo h rrac, uo h w, accordg o h advc ad ocr rc rom our j, i w t Spiits a cmnded t aar " in ua frm w ay ecals te hae freqet
u " eca e f t
De c rm e err e that the hck f hei ht mgh cae a er f a e epe t le hs as I t aa eeat tat it i y il ad erered sym hch c e this uncia f raa te J fr eay al Petace and Ses ae h Sl ad Sgl f d nel Nae
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39
AREL HE E
o Agel ad a I cearl teach o the fo log Chater o hal ood or demad ad o hal rec fro them ther oath he hch e hould cooe o the t da are the or eror Prce1 hoe Name ll be re he Neeeth Chater ad t the Cojurao of the r a TE CNJURTN TE SECND Y
he folog da hag erforme he ory ro, a the aforead Ceremoe, o hal bre reea the aforead Cojrato o the ad r brgg to her remembrace ther rome ad ath mae o the recedg da to ed to ou the ght ubPrce a are the Cojurato uto a the wee togeher a a ltte he the aar the ght ubPrce the form whch hat e coade the ad the ll rome ad ear uto ou (aegace a wl be more fu ho the folowg Chatr. he Name of the ght ubPrce ar derbed heraer th Neth § Chater. TE CNJTN TE TD DY
e Corato of the hrd a the am a tat of the ecod a eeg that e ar the to re th gh uPrce of ther Prome a ath (of Aegac ad we are to ca ad cooe them wt a ther aheret, ad the the do aea oce e., o aegiane o yo
e our S erio S ts and P ines are : Lu e Leathan Saan ad elal he ght S -r nces are saot Magoh sodes eelzth ens ao rn a ao a er de sl p X is re e MS tead o X
§
40
Facsimile of The Book of the Sacred Magic
TH BOOK OF HE SACRD MGIC
mor in vsibl fors, th aricu cs o each will pa aso ivsib, sound Egh S-Prics Bu hie nok Go ou L fr sngh an sur, an our l Ag cus a assisanc, r fog ha la ha taght ou, fo i is a cssa i H foow Fin C ch ha w shoud d mn fro Ss r idd o hr casss THE FIFTEENTH CHAPTER. CNCRN IN G WH T YOU SH O L MN O H I R WH R DIVI INT TH R I R OOPS AN CNVK D N TH R S ERE Y.
E Dmands w sud a s ar of re n k d s TH
FIRT
M
Dad Fis th our uprio Princs sal a s ad, o sha mak accdn uno h O n irs : Th Prooson b a Vi and Auhr ou ma ou dds u ; s o sa h V iru of od ur Ld W h sujct uno is cs nd you e.* Scondl t· a o s a ll a ma l ign curisi, bu ( d ) u . " Qui les aou mis atottes se Crears e avo peds h is whoe paagaph s dicut of clea taslaon by lierl reneing, so I give he S . text : Secnee qe 1JOsr j ns ot ust male m aeur e goie e D e a/M r et al to Ie e kua urt toute es fo u
Facsiile o e Book o te Sacred Magc
OF RM HE MAE
41
9
o o, a o our ow goo a tha o all h ac ha urhr, r i ha o shal suo h, b whar Sig or or, a i war i Pac, a or har occsio a sric, thy shal a o aar iia wihou ay la ob or coas A ha cas shall v so lgiia hrc hro, h ar o s to o so ohr Sris assigig h a hr sh s shal b caabl a o o accosh a ob our wil a or i hi r plac A hat thy shall romis a swar o obsr is b os rigorous Jug o o, a b os sr pish a chasis o h oy Agls, iic uo h A ha thy will cos o oby a ha h Four Sorig Prics wi nam uno yo h Eigh Subrics, whom hy will s i hir l to ak h ah as I h aray si, o aar at o o h owig ori g wh coa b you ; a ha h wil u s h Egh Sbris For grar cri, uit Alar ow, n go oars h Door which o o o rra, aacig our igh ha bo. * Mak ac o o h ouch th a, a ak h ah po tht an. vou ller vec uelqueot e ou roe tnqulu e t L etourull ot occon etele bort n ucnen retrde yn rotre etoent vo conen tuc u uent un eeckn Lgte q ent vo envoe utr ept enle nont ete1zt ce queont cbl tp ourober tcor votr voln et votr ee e u lc etul vo ro et t jurent doeer cel pr Ie trerur jugent e De er te gnde pene e cktiment e g ur eu conenron ber et e 4 nc over vo noront le 8 ou u vou enveront leurple urfr tr t coe je ' t rotre bort " ec he w hs mauscpt neve uses
he sges pncua , and paagaphs ae n fquen bond bu beng afu no o go ut n he Teace yusel
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94
HE K E SCRED GC THB DMAND THB SBCOD DAY.
h ubPnes be nvoed, ou shll m uo hem he sme demd d he sme dmonon whh o hve lred mde uo he ou oer Pres. And furher \ shl reques from these four, h s o s, from R, P, AR, nd A ; h eh of hem sll ssn nd o s uo ou our mlr , hh from he d of ou bh he re omelled to ve no ou. hese ll be e d furshed uo ou h he deeds d wll ferds obe ou I s for ou o dmd from hese h oher rs hh ou m sh o hve bu seen th he b ne n number, nd o more slful n seve hn noer, one fo one mr, oher for oe ; o shll me seleo of he rs whom o sh, d o shll u osde o he rre ren ls of er nmes for he Eh ubPres o se, d o shll requre from hese ler he h, s o dd from he or uero Pres, h he follon morn he shll hve o er befor ou oeher h ll h r ose ms ou shll hve ven n rn, d lso ou ml rs. THB DMAN F TH TH I RD DAY
h ubPrnes hn rseed ll he rs s ou hv dree h, o shll ommnd h AR h ll s follow shll er vsbl n h orm whh he nel shll hve resrbed no o ; d mmedel u shll see Gre rm, d ll der he sme rm. You shll ooud nto m he sme demd, hh o he lread mde o he Pres, d ou sll se hem o e h
Wren " y a lip n e S
Facsiile o Te Book o te Sacred Magic
AMLN HE E.
43
ser sa ha s t sa that eer te t u sa ca f tm hs ae tha e s c apar i such rm a ace as sha pease a hat sa uctua xecte tha whic ha a cma hi A hai swr sl u us * f e Dr a the Sis e hr k wic g ut R /o d ae m swar t as ra u the ta cass w i a s t ut t ca te ra ta as s as u sha take e f hese Ss ur ha a m t fr its pace that the Spiri a i Sg sa a excue that whc Si a a ta which ur itiati § j ie r sha ica as tha i te case tat i he g f sha e speca a at a gra sa ig rmpt a rea perr ai cma a that if as i the te c t (g s be ma hch � icu a t as the he rs ur Astat sa ua t sre a ee cu as A w the ah hah ee e caus Pc t Name f the rest t tc e a. Ater hs rmo thse Sbs r e rwa ; a ca T a aftr hi A as zuD a act wt a thes as ae e wi • p sad Tac ga A tarot
: . u br Sp f sah.
§ wr Vbal Ma b s ga a w l pans hs Ma baM ad f aam Jw dnds h Sms, s a s ad acd pnacs nd smbs whh h n bu · ad cp s md u ignan , I.e wc h pa hs w dwn fm h d pac a n f f sah ak a up
44
oK ; and all thei Symbols avg bn swo ut,
pu thm asd or a cta c s red hat yu can esly dstngus o fom oh as regs he sujt oprato o ct o w y hav ben ma and uto whh thy ong. Ths beng on ou s a ad togth wth t common Svts * and ha propou unto t tr Smbols; ad avng ade sear n the formnto m y sh a in sila fsho an wt th ervitors and sall mk th tk ot uo t Sgns n t afosa mannr. And th ha ou obsrv ths mto wth the Four oth Sub-Prncs; bt rst of ll convo thm wth thr cmon Srvitors ad mk tm s uon the commn Sgns tn and ogtr an nly ach on t as th rst c + And whn ou hve ut bck t Symos o tr poper ce rqust rom of ths t ou§ our Famr Srt an mk thm t ts Nam wh ou sha at onc wte own tgh th t ime ung hh the shl b obg o sv ou. Thn ou shll ropound uo them t Sgns o the Ffth Chapte of t Thid Book; II an s mk thm not o sea up ths Smbos (colctly) but aso eah one (saatel) tat om ths tm fod h wll
e , Servitors longing qualy to thes two Sub-Princs
togtr. Ories mn Arito ad Aio rito s oftn cad Egn or Eyn in oth orks o Magic : e, folwing t odr f t clssictio in th Ninnt Cpr o s Scond Bo. § Oins i Atn, n Aaon; on Spir ro c fo a Fmii. : "Hw on tn h alia Spris bound i w r
Facsimi of h Book of th acrd agic
OF AR-MELIN THE MG.
45
97
observ duly and wih dilgce he sx ours ested;. yo shall cau hm o promise to serve o t lty, rfrming a wich the re oble o o yu sha cmd thir (srics) ; d tt te sll o h lighe deree be lse li s e e you al, at if by cc o shoul ss e o hm u aohr prso, t he shll ct s l b hm a y yoursel; ad, lastly, tt te e t ll, perfm, a cue, ta whc Go or the Cstseen ha died uo te for Setece (o Jet) You hall srv h orm wt ll te Pcs, tl ll the ymols shall be so o te F ilir Spiris d he otes ot te TH SX CP OBG B DlG M AWAY N ERN I N G e se o
Spiris s wll ur e Tee Ds hereafter :It s ot ecess o ob eeois oe to Sts becuse te theselves e o too o •
Ie., hat each of the ur Familiars sa se p
f te twey-fou h of the da, tha is ix . Hever n al Magcal Wrks ret stress s irace f ceng a Sprt ived i te Ora at i e b uwillg f ee cmlli m as s t t t i place. I mut rememred er i ths O Abr the Jew that t ly hi Orat but is Bcamr ept pe and cecatd ad thefr it d xt imsil or an Evi St t reak thrug t atta im Bt i a Maial Evat y he Cice the Mca huld r q the sae wht hvig cesd ad ve fce th Evi ir epa i a ae are record f te Or
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46
E K E SCRE IC
r w Ths s who y ot ths cs th to pt tht s to sy tht th Th s hv sh sak wth th Four S rcs, a tws wth th Eht Su cs, a cv thi th o allc, ou shall to th tht o th pst thy c o to thr st pc ; tht vy t tht th shall m, t th th th ma po th Smo yo sh s wy th Fmr Spts l th Spts th th os wos. t s t, howv tht s th th Fl Spts o shll t th tht t th t wh thy ruty th shal a a yo vsl or sl, whtr om shal pls u o to srv o u th st S Hrs H NN CR. WHAT E SH U LD ANSW R UNT TH E TE RRGAT NS THE SPRTS, AND H WE SHD RESST THE DAD
O
E Wck vl owth ful wl tht you o wy ol to h that you av comc ths at u th rac a Mc a r t protcto fc th Hol s vthlss, h l o a l o s
eah I myse was pesn on an occasn when n he ocaon he Cce he Magcan ncaosy hang sooped wad and o j s oe he lm o he Cce ecee a sock ke ha om powe eecc ay, whch nay hew hm own sck he Magal Swo m s hn and se hm saggeng ack o he cen o he Ccle Cmae aso wh hs nce an enwk's exence n he Sn o, when hs had acdenaly wen yon he ms o he C ce when he was epnhg he amps n the aon
Facsiie o Te Book o te Saced Magic
OF ABR-MELIN THE G.
47
tne nd e ee t tn de te Vete t f t e yo nstat nd e d ee not n an a t t te t d te et. I e et ms pd t ende t m te e and n tn pde. I e e me e n n e t de e td m t e mdete n e e me me e e dn te nttn te d e e e ; nd ndet tt t e· e t te e e et n nt : " Who s h ho h h et tt " Te ep t dd nd pemptn e n e te e nd te e d e e. e e t n nd ee ee t de t nnn en nd t e e te te y tt t en e een eted e tt nt te Te t d e e e an te t t d t d t Cet ete ee tt d ? e Ctn te a t t ne t t e d t ee Cee e tantd t dat d te e ? t et e t det n te et ; e te ew ds and an t t e e e t ds ese mtte t t dee te pnn en te ; tt t e te et d et e et e tt te Te nd On d t eted ee nd te t d e e t V• : Lucifr Levihn, St nd Bl l
I., m Ei prts gll
48
Facsiile o Te Book o e Sace gic
T BOO OF SCED GIC
t l y sns, o n and n t my lon c yo pos. t tat s t no, ndad, cnss, and no n tn Gat and Only od, h ord it y Ws , V, and Ahor o cmmand t t Wn o s pokn o hus, n y ng an son ling yo a yo s m nd t b d n u, a yu s s cm ms m n sall yo ans m n s s d d a cndnd nd sncd y m nd I d nt s an qal s csmd t " n mand sm sacc t s b d nd d pmpl s tt sc s n mad nt t t nt t n d. y tn nt yo nt t nd o ng t m mn Wdm an Dts an ncn n t patn n ncannts sa n ma ns ta a i t nms d nd t d and mc nd a ad dnd n nd ny ndd nd t m. m nd an nnd ty m s atcks pn y, and m t s p aan ou n t tt dmand and sc a n m nt ot s m d m, nd ms ntn t n ss s) n ; p o ta y nd man s gd to ad and s s nd t t st lt and wt al s • Te
Demo geelly.
Facsimile of The Book of the Sacred Magic
F ABR-ELIN THE MGE.
49
101
poessions, among the hih thy y be omrisd. When at lengt they ee tha they hve lot l ho of making yo prevrite, nd tht they i othing notithstnding l hei req ; y il denitey rrender, d ill othig e le it be that yo hl ot be to d d i i omandig tem. You hll mke we o thi, ha if they roe themsev to be obediet d pp vig yo, that it ay be tht ou Agel, by wh itrtio an commnd yo re govering yoel, y itrct you not to be riid ad evere ith tem they ha oe, nd tt i h you i ll t y be rigt. THE EIGHTENH CHAPR. HW HB
WH OPB RTBT H HOULD BHV S
RBGARBTH THB SP IR ITS.
ae aready seen ho one old tra rs, and at oe hod s tem aso ho to dismis them witot r ad ho e hould make swer o their demand ad prentent.· that I am aot to ay nto yo no i pero, bese it is certain tht ny o who hl hv beved it a tre heart ad r reotion h dvi ih I hve gien regarding the Six Mo, i e i trcted it so much thoroghe d by hi Gardian el, tht o dob i ill pe i which e wi ot b ble eiy le p of hilf. We hae alo alreay ity ho eery or ay occaio, h who peteh hould opo E
•
n te orignl : " dmads etap
Facsimi Facs imile le of of Te Book Boo k of of the Sacred Sacre d Magic
50
T H E BOK OF E SACRED MGIC
1 02
e edt dthh t piits piits ; that is is to say their Lod ot s their Seit or or Yet i al mtters ther hod e reasobl ma seeg tat we ot et th e ith it h pirits, of hom each o oet moe th the whol Uiese togethe No if yo hall make so mad to a pri d hll rf rfse se to ecute it ; rst rs t l1 ad carefll carefll xie d cosier hth i be i th power ad t of the pii t to who o ak ak such dead, to l th m m Fo oe piit koeth ot ll ll thig, d t hich ppertaih ppertai h to te oe othe ot ot Fo thi reso reso ee that y ell te te hd o edorg to foc them to peform t t t if, if, oer, o er, the If I ferio eriorr pirt pi rt s e di ot o shal cll thir upero, ad rmid them o ots hich thy ha tak o you, a of the ct ctt t hich iteth t he rekig rekig of such suc h vos d imiely o eholdig your stea dfastess, y ll oey oey yo ; t shold shold they ot yo ogt th to vo vo yor Gd G dia ia gl g l hose castise castisett ll qicly feel t otithstadig, ot ithstadig, we should eer employ ars order to have ha ve tht which e ca ot y t d cotes * d the Iocato thy should ppear t tmt d olec olece e fear oti oti ; eithe ie ay to therof. Oly Ol y ; t p p to e e o cco cc o t therof. o Concted Wad d i they cot to dc dc mite po te At A t tc t c · o it it d d l l il l e tll. tl l. od otd otd t ht h t fte fte you yo u shall s hall h h ee lice • Lt
r nc in insst n the abslute eceit in Sprit ; r the Occ working i crteous e n to th e Evil Sprit Ortr s inslt verberg wll sedly y himsel pn p n t bsn y Spit f ke ae, t wll bn abou ltmt nll.
1
Facsiile Facsi ile o e Book o te Sacred Magic
OF
3
them to depart, ad they hll have diappeared, you sal take te Ceer f th tp f te Altar and aving pu perfume t ri, tae t ut of e Oraoy on to the Trac wh th e Sp irt ha ave apeared, and you shall perfume perfume th pla a rund ; for oter oteris isee te Spiri Spirits ts mght wo om vil u peron ntering b chance trin. Now hould yu b iing to content yorsf ith the Syol hich in h hir ere yu hall the day aftr tk aay a te Sand from a d cat it int a sec secre rett p pac acee ; bt above all ting car o t tro it eter into a rer or ino th avigble ea. ut houd yo dire t pcre for orsef arious ther Symbol ad S leave te Sand and al hins n plac, a w hall a decrbe r pcuarl n the lat captr Also, should i t can retain or arrangemet i pla, ad p te Aparnt 0 he ror prop a clea, a ll a the Aa ; hich hich atte atte o o ay la i n co h t incoode o in h cntr th room. F n th Apartent if it be o c taina in ad or rne ou a every Satrda j te re r Gran Ane Ane te ic ich h is one f t t ublm th ing in g ich y can desire i hi Sacr At
,
H F wo MH
I
recisely a quarter of an hour before Sunrse ye sha enter into your Orator, open the indow, . an place yourselves upon your knees before the tar, ing you face towards the indow; and devoutly and ith boldness ye shall invoke the Name of te Lord, thanking Him for all the grace hich He hath given and anted unto you om your nfancy until now; then with humility shall ye humble yourselves unto Him, d confess unto Him entirely all your sins; supplicang Him to be willing to pardon you and remit them Ye shall alo upplicate Him that in the me to come He may be wilng and pleased to regard you ith pity and ant you His ace and goodness to send unto you His Holy Angel, who shal see unto you as a Guide, and lead you ever in His Holy Way and Wil When ye shal have perfoed your orations, close the windo and go forth om the Orator; so that no one may e able therein to enter; and ye shall not yourselves enter again un the evening when the Sn sall be set Then shal ye enter therein aesh, and shal perfo your prayer in the same m ner as the mong"
From the instructons (See pages
the Sacred of the
54
Te Fist Two Monts
Mrch, 17
Th oy thig that ghty worri i that a th prayr for th ix oth ar for y avatio I ha, thrfor, coc ad co ach oratio wth th ord prayr Toight it rad. oth or o ago I thought that if t did ot ra th ight bfor .. (h, y firt orio wi b ad i a patic ac) was oing it wold ain as I elt te ain wold not only clea te atosee bt also be sybolically cleansing) 1 Mrch
Hav bgu pratio Ro at , wahd thoroughy, put o ca coth and trd Oratory Sti raig rayd agai at duk St raiig. Th dog bga fightig ad akg a trrb oi jut bd th ratory at o poit I ft a trog avot prc tryig to itrfr, tptig wth azy pac ad powr if I houd bco hi frid H dpartd aftr fv cod I do ot kow whthr thi i a good or bad tart. a to apart ad vrythig i i a ort of ibo but y head bhid a thi kp o iig (Togot te six onts I oen exeienced wat I inteeted as alevolent enegies I did not see o ea te bt elt te) M rch
Fro ow oward I wi oy ot that I hav corrcty kpt to th pratio which I id today. Foud i Eodu 23, xx-ii Bhod, I d an g bfor th, to kp th i th way, ad to brig th to th pac which I hav prpard. Bwar of hi, ad oby hi voic, provok hi ot for h w ot pardo your tragro for y a i i hi But f tho hat dd oby h voic, ad do a that I pak; th I wi b a y uto hi i, ad an advrary uto thy advrari Th atophr i vry dificut aroud . btac ar
e First Two Monts
55
being thown up and I a clu tubling don the path. (The dog had placed a pile o bone including hal a heep' kul and two ra' horn a ew eet o the entrance o the Orato.) Mrch
Leviicu 9, xxxi: Regard no the ha have ailiar piit, neither eek ater wizard, to be deed b he ...' I preue thi to be an eoeric law a regard the ir phrae. I look orard to reading the Zoar And urther, Leviicu 2 xxvii: A an alo or a woan that hath a ailiar pirit, or that i a ward, hall urel be pu to death the hall one he with one: their blood hall be upon the.' I kept correctl o the Operaion. Tonight France and I were arried b ourelve i the ee o God. A udden urge and ruh to do hi, but oehing abou hich we have thought previ oul a he Lord will it. 4 n d 5 M rch
La night, or he ir e, orgot o ake an enr. A a or o penance, had reezing wah thi orning which in ac I alot enjoed. The Operation wa correctly kep to Alo, I did ha-an hour' healig exercie in the aternoon o ix y weak bladder ha ha been gettg e ou o bed once or tice ever night. I ee o have worked a I did not have to relieve el la nigh. Feel that I a now ready to contnue exercie o achieve exerior zation. A alo re-worng Mouni adhu' book Te Tarot (For detais o a boo entioned in te Dia see Bibiogray) And toda the Operation wa kep to, with incene. Alo hal anhour' exercie hi aeoon. 6 Mrch
La nigh I reained a or o concioune hrough he earl par o leep. For a econd, it alot righened e and a voice withi e aid Well a you be earul; coe join with e.' It wa uk and hen bliul, a point bathing in a cal eca. Operation kept to. A I praed hi evening, oehing bruhed over head. I do not know wha it wa or whether it righened e. d I wonder now abot leepig with a ile. The atophere i raied
6
e First Two Monts
27 March
Operton kept to. Le ore rnqul 28 Ma rch
Operton kept to. Fortyfe nute exerce th fternoon. Eery nght, though, ce I strted, y hed pn nd ruhe, elted then deflted, energy rhing through e. I lke: I I Suel 7, xx-xx. 29 March
Operton kept to Thrty nute exerce th fternoo. I ee to he lot y ene of te ters of dy. A n peculrly stresed condton wth perod feelng tht I bout to crck p. I lo fghtng nother bttle wth thoe round e. My pryer re becong ore ntene and tody I felt soethg, soethng nftely powerful nd Good tht terred e Stll wth y e, nothng wll top e, but t heer thn nythng I he eer conceed of n the whole of y lfe (or een p proched experencg) n how uch deeper wll t get? Te nwer, of coure, s obous Tht wrtten on 7 Februry (in y dia) ees ery rel h, but lwy y le perhp f I dd not eer lee the Ortory .. 1 he lght on of ercy nd bl. Th wht I wrote on 7 Februry: I he jut red psge n Isrel Regrde e Tree of Le on the cred Operton of AbrMel whch relevnt I beg preprng: By th te (4th/ 5th onth) he wll he entered tht tte of Dryne of whch Mytc of ll te he poken, tht horrd pychologcl tte n whch ll the power of te oul ee ded nd the nd on cloe dub protet, t were, gst the hrh dcple of the oth. A thound nd one educton wll tend to lure the Opertor fro the conteplton of the en he h choen, and thound nd one wy of brekng the oth prt...And t wll pper tht the nd telf wll run wd, wng the theurgt (agician) to qut... Contntly wll t eek to frghten wth nordnte fer relng to helth of body nd d. Agnt all thee dee ftl f he o uch uc cub to one teptton there only one reedy: the dcple of the oth tken t the begnnng; to contue n the lbour of okng for sx onth the Holy Gurdn Angel... It y be tht
e First Two onts
7
with the third d lst period this "Drk ight o the Sol will pss slowly d iperceptibly, d the will rise the sot rose d pik grdeur of the Dw, to be ollowed by the bight dylight o the Kowledge d Coverstio, with the Betic visio d the erfue so sweet d sustg to sese d soul, of the Holy Gurdi gel' Well, orewed is forered. h, but if it is ll doe i totl love d desire ... the disciplie is see oy s the cogs to strt the otor .. .We shll see Mrch
Opertio kept to. ter this eveig's pryer, feel stroger d coorted, d it is the irst ight sice begiig tht feel cl. see visio (Hevily brcketed I spet £ 1 9 lost o lst oey, o toys chestry-set ecco to kp y hed together it eels like splttig i the fure.) 1 Mrch
Opertio kept to. ersol disciple slck. pril
Opertio kept to. y descriptio o the eoos d eeges ivolved would be ute the tes o reerce o ot exist except or other who hs pered it, o siir. (Ti s te beginn ing te inner exerience of intense dulity, exacerbated y a v real sense oa new electric energy eld or orce assing trough y rain and y wole body.) 2 pril
Operatio kept to. ersol disciplie still slck. pril
Opertio kept to. ersol diciplie stil slck. I shl cge it whe strt writig gi but shld it e strict ow or is tht skig too uch cosiderig the other stris? Is tht joke? 4 nd 5 pril
Ad I orgot to ke e lst ght Opertio ept to ith soe sort o cler light i visio. Those stge ysc d eul eelgs i His Grce tht would e ohig o pr, tht i
58
e First Two oths
ritte oud most be betryl. Ad the foru brigs me comfor. ccordig to esoteric trditio, c ot oy be trs lted s esus of Nzreth g of the Jews', but so s I us reigs Christ or Al ture is regeerted by fire.') Jeremh 0, x (he is beig ocked for prophesyig) A y mirs wtced or my htg, syig, erdveture he wi be eticed, d we shl previl ist d e shl tke our revege o Here is dmited for the firs tie, tht prophet of God hs frs uie [see ety of 3 rch} . Operio kept to. Everytig trui ti the I Ching dvised to bere of the blce overtoppg. o I hod to mysef d ttempt to persevere correcty but with difficuty. (roghot the peration I conslted the Chinese oracle, the I Chg. is book is an ancient ad e insightl treatise which one conslts either throgh throwing coins or picking stalks in a certain seqence The adice it gies is e etaphysical and oen enigatic and can, tereore, be inter preted at seral leels. At the tie I related to the I Chg as i it were a close and trusted iend) 6 pril
Opertio kept o. This eveg i my ortio moet of gret woder s y Mster's presece ws kow, coverstio most. Ts cot be writte bout, but my hert is kow. (My belie syste inclded, and still incldes, te idea that there eist peected han beings, enlightened beings, sters o Coassion woen and en who hae copleted their learning cycle o edcation through huan incarnation, who now eist in the inisible inner diensions an whener possible aid the spiritual growth o hanity. e eistence o these peecte teachers is taght, withot eception, in all esoteric traditions. I assed that I was being aided and intitiely gided by one othese Beings. I did not at that particlar tie know which o these Teachers was giding e) Lter, gi, I the the I Ching (to cofirm?) d received the sube Hexgrm The ime' o strge d mzig to reember ow the st te t I threw it for such importt te, o my bihdy for essge/dvice o the comig yer, d received Hexgrm Te Cretive,' euly subime. If ever those foowig the Pth shoud dobt the uiversity (o the spirital path) perhps y Christity ided by this ost mgic of boos might hep. was toched at the tie by the act that wile I related to ysel as being Christian, I cold also draw on the
irs wo Mon
wdo of an asern Concian book of wido I wa also ouched by e fac ha I was a agicn oen hog of a hreical ye copleely rusing n Chris y approach o Crisianiy, of couse was disincly ouside e ral curches and is wa is oen lled noic or Rosicrucian) , he biss ad ioance o ody. o n oe suiient hanks? h h sl 7 pril
Oeaion ke o. p ri l
Oeaion ke o. 9 pr il
his onig ie ocriss, a e h held ea nd he oise o ol chnge s exeey hev nd a mos ghened. he vision oves beeen eson subliy and a sli vulne biy. he o o y head ees s hough i il sli oen and dned o sengh Pehas his is he bginning o ha e hen he unconscious os eely nd all mus be encouneed m sed and woud almos send all my me in he Oatory Mybe a oving oo s nd inensely and ust cal some h nd o he s o ohs ... Bu shoud be (nd a) jyl h anyhing is haenig. hve no es o eeence o ho shoud conol y behviou, even i i should be conolld. ye o ol ec o oa disacion anyng else is ainul Bu kee on sing. d hve such sange houghs abou y s nd ue. o much o s is evasive anasy, ho uch e? Yes, y soul, hgs ae ovg. he igh has begun nd us ke u he sod o do ble o a , he beeld, ioce? My se o ind is aen Bu sil, lukng behind, y se in he knoledge o he nsy o his dunghe nd is inie Gce, Love and Mey nd Judgeent. n-hou's execise hs eoon. Exeioizion conol led, cose. Oeaion ke to. 0 and 1 pril
Fogo o ke eny las nigh (xcuse rrival o a ges). Oea in ke o is becoing inceasigy inense and ge chnges e ocuing hve encouneed soe ? nasies nd a being
6
e First Two Months
augh ow o behave and eat hem I don ow how heavy they ae and what is to ome But when I feel song, I eogne ue himself and his aea of powe as nohig beside he song of he hamony of he heavens And evey loud is jus a spek of dushown up by His foopints as the waes ove he sea And I feel my Mases poteve ye igheous pesene ove me I is all oo bizae and awful Opeation kept to Slightly less intense due o pesene of gues I mus eadjust Thee is a onflit he i hat my weakness makes behavg lovingly and yet holdig uly o diipline (in emoion) diffiul But 1 feel my Maste as I pay 2 pr il
Payes said Moe people have aived, uninvied and unexpe edly, o est he siuaion I have boken off om eading he Bible to wie his Will I do he o hous sudy? (o one hou and a quae o less 1 3 pr i l
Opeaion kep to 4 pri l
Opeaion kept to A difiul ime wihi me Ou gues now beeves in Him and His Gloy Gloy to Hi Ad what miseable wom am I? Wothiness his eible quesion of wohiess And eveyhg is vanity and I a wandeing in a gey mukiness of my own makg when I a no at paye Wohiness, wohiness? The smile is no longe needed ony a shame in my hypoisy My hypoisy (I emembe the inident wih the est eally well We wee ouside in the landsape and suddenly we wen ino one of those silenes in wh eveyhing is sensed and eleti I suggesed hat she look a he sky and as he fous expanded upwads and ouwads she eneed ino an alteed stae of mysial onsious ness Many people do ths in landsape but do not notie In hose momens she beame onsious of he spiiuality and the spiiu aliy in all life) 5 p ri l
(Aernoon Opeation kept o his moing I hin I have he answe o hat whih so heavily toubled me he last few days _
e First wo onts
61
Tht rticlr rte of scension cold not crry on ccelertg, bt hd to even ot nd for o clrit hs ered whch now reoves sort of wieeed d egoistic woderet t it ll. Tht level hs been reche betifl initition into tht birre knowledge nd recognition, nd I shll lwys wee My Mster's resence Bt to wnder inocently in tht Grce is not correct nd oveent, s n, st contne to becoe stronger nd ie it rther thn ie wit it in wonderent I trl hoe tht this is correct, bt the torent o the lst 4 hours ws horrible nd hs now worked itsel ot. Bt do I relly kow nything of these things? A I wling bckwrds? Trly I trst not, bt we shl see. As lwys, God wlng And I beginig to nderstnd the birre n unie ct of Jess Christ nd how He ws like no other Prohet? INRI As the ves rt to show ore, there is lws n iiite increse in tht whc I now do not know M wortess, y worthiess? M correctness i ll this? Ad y Vnit nd ekness? (ening) Oertion ket to. 6 pril
Oertion ket to, but levolents srroundig e dring or tion. A difficlt tie tht I st work ot for yself nd y own ra. Vniy, vnity Bt I hve tht vision. Cold it relly be so? One wold die in it? (Incientlly, writing book to ke oney strted fntsy gibberish) 7 pil
Oertion ke to. I hve now red well into the New Testent nd I believe tht now I erceive the e Act of Christ Jess tht the Son of God did die for s Tht before His crcixion n ws not ble/ red to erceive in his dily consciosness the divinit of his Sirit which cn only be relsed, relesed, integrted by living in Christ's body. (A few ointers in this direction ce o horrible book clled e Sear o Destiny. s this, then, the significnt herlding of the Piscen Age to now Tihreth? Does the Arin er hold the roise of rising nkind into the Glory of Chesed nd Gebrh? (ese qestions are rased in te angage orjargon o te Kaa te esoteric tradition oJdais . Part o te Kaistic teacing centres on a tree o ie wit dierent ats and seres reresenting dierent asects o consciosness and creation . iaret Cesed and Gera are Herew naes r tree o tese
62
e Fist wo Months
eent sphees of consciousness an I was contempatin hee the sibility that humanity as a whoe was eneing a new state of bein in wic thee was the possibility of baance compassion) aever he sers, sl and mus hold he divine aw for now and eer And ho mny of us realise le aone aspre o lie i? ere is a divne nd subime ysery in Chriss deah. For he rue Man, Comunion mus be he ac of daily ife. n Chris s in een. By H lone (if you unersand His ord) do you come o God, even if subjeciviy one has never herd His name, for n Nobis Renat Jesus (In Us Rues hist) and his is a iving ruh. (By Chist' I oen meant not the histoical gue ofesus, but a cosmic pinciple of unconitional love which actively see to help a of us. I see his cosmic pinciple in ishna an in the Maita Buha, fo example, as much as in esus hist.) Our isior and her presence is eacng me any hings abou eding and aching. Se knows no ha she does in sleep and er asronome (eamboy) I hink, would vampie ones grace, sychicay and sexuay. have, herefore, pu up a (psychic) roecion and ook o see I am able o perceve i n oral daiy e. Ho o hep? I do no know. Bu learn every day nd, oefuy, e are heped And I furher see mysel. Truhs higher n realiy. As lays no, I fee aniy, vnity. Vaniy before he ord nd I beg forgveness. 1 8 pr i l
(Moning) Shory afer I en o sleep as gh, I was acked (?) y n asral eniy h seemed o ry o ener my body a feeling o suocaion and smoherng. I was no frighened for one second nd dismssed i by afrmg y fih in our ord Chris. Ho eer, hd I been cooler I ould hve found ou ha i was. I onder heher is n any ay lied ih our gues, bu ve ally (psychically) seled her room las nigh do no know. s purely a es on me or soehing I aone araced? Some o I do no feel ha i as angerous more los and sad erhps I shoud have been genler ih i. (Evening Operaion kep o. Anoher cange is happening, some ig ha mkes me nervous. Two hgs: rsly a sange feeng of ea srengh which see coud be used for Evil perhaps, a rue Knoedge of good and evi. One mus uly know and rejec i o e oer over i o rogress and i ries o ep me and hen
he Fist wo Months
63
backmai me by tyig to teriy me ito jog it. ( yo ca't beat it, joi it ad have a gorious evi tie. Temptatio, oh Fast, I destad ad ee or you.) d I pray to the Saits ad my Maste o stegth ad potectio. Secody: a beakthogh i vat, a dissatisactio with my body ad orm; a eau desire to be y ee o this temporay ad satisactory estig-pace. A eau eeig, as I am weak. 9 pr i
Beore goig to seep ast ight, I ceary saw, with my eyes ope ad shut, a astroome shimmeig mnous silve moeces. I cod ot commucate with it; was too ast or the astroome ot psychic? It dd ot seem at a maevoet i act, sady ost. It wet away. pt a odic (pue enegy) cutai ove Fraces ad myse, ad we sept we ad easiy. Today I od the bue amethyst o whch I have seached. Vaity? It coicdes with eaizg a ew days ago that I possess the twetywo pivieges (except two oe beogig to aas ad oe to do with esscitatig the dead uess they ae both metaphorca, which may be) that beog to the Adept Magicia. I am aost ipressed bt Hs Gory shames me ad am sick i His ove ad my uwothiess. Bt ee soge. I am tedig to ast o caots ad bead or the ou days o Easte (Ad Fraces, athogh she may ot derstad it, is my Godset comot). Operatio kept to. 20 pri
Opeatio kept to. (Refeing to the visit of the asta entity) Nothig ast ight (but set up stog odic ctai agaist gest-oom.) sti do ot kow abot t. 2 pri
Opeatio kept to. e sited a oca tow today or a hoy day . A peasat surpise as met a bothe vey briey. a arge cowd, we waked past each other or a cope o yards, the stopped, ted, shook hads ad very beaty ackowedged each othe. (I saw him exacty but ot, I thik, he me??) hateve, t was peasat to be recogised i that agical eviromet. I have kept to the ast o Easte. ee my Maste's presece eve cose, bt I am either stog o worthy eoh.
6
e Fst wo Months
22 pril
Operation kept to I felt Hi stonger and closer and was terried It was alost copletely dark and pouring with ra when I ha ished praying, and I felt yself being becne back to the Oratory Like a naughty, bewildered and guilty chid, I slu away and now, fur hous later, I feel those sae eotions 23 pril
This og, lghting the fie, the soke uld not go up the chiney For the fist tie I operated the Great Arcanu The soke went up Praise to Hi The fasting must have helped (e Geat Acanum s the name sometmes gven to the magca metho of eectng physca changes psychcay usng a technque that mxes beathwo wth magnaton.) Operatin kept to Sudden change in stars this eveg (c ciding with end of fast) 24 pr l
(Mong) What I thought to be a sudden change in the stas last night tued out to be something else As I slept, I was shown int a room where I was pleasantly greeted by two en who said they were brthers, one tall and very stong with a goatee beard, the other Adolf Hitler hiself They said they were glad I was doing work in their direction and wold be pleased to give e soe fist hand foration and experience Suddenly thei whole tone changed to soething totally alevolent and evil an evil that I have never previously known They joined hands and I cally closed y eyes and set up an dic barrier between us, but it was ineectual y body uivere o an ev negave electic charge from th and I lost ttal control y body in pain o their negative electricity, I was picked up and anoevred le a paper doll, copletely at their whi I was totally an vulnerably powerless Before I retued to y sleeping body, I was teporar ily freed o the and foun ysel loog thrugh a dirt cracked window down at a back-yard (I shal always remeber that sight) I cae to in my bo, sweating, stil in soe pain and frghtened Pentagras, oic barrers were of no use against this power of evil I then knew that I should not have reacted passively to the but should have gone into iediate attack I felt a great faiure and iediately, gritting my psychic teeth, attepted to regain
e Fist wo Months
6
conac I was not gong o be frghened by hem I ganed sem conac bu hey were very elusve I dared hem o reappear o do bale, bu o no ava I hen brough myself o conscousness The bedroom was led wh he mos malevolen hrea and for a few seconds I was almost unconolably frghened There was no proecion ha I could pu up excep my fah Our Lord I pcked up he Bbe nd l he orch; he lgh lickered and wavered unconolably and I pu ou o face hem in he dark as Lucfer hmself wh whom I was n conac? I kep ca as bes I coud whle I was hreaened (ords co express ha pres ence of ev) Ths woud happen agan and gan, I was od I would b ued no uverg wreck of nohgness ever, I reped Le happen for a mllon yars f means ha I may naly be my Lords servan I hough of he welve labours of Hercues You may have all power on Earh, I was od, and never be frghened nd so hur agn Your power s as nohng o he Lords, I old hem, pyng hem as hey shrank from Hs gea and wondrous gh I lecured hem on her posion and work and remnded hem of her proper pace, fally prayng uno he Lord o e Hs jusce nd mercy shne on hem here are you, m nges, I cred, o proec hs servan? d naly fer hree-urers-of-anhours bae, he came o releve me nd I hanked hem geatly. (nd I undersood how hose grea men of ev joed ruly he legon fer her caae deah) Then was I surrounded by a msy vson of a wonerf fraey of Chrsan knghs and I pu on His holy armou o go and do bale The res I would no wre of In my vany, I was a he me and sll am amazed a my courage l power and gory o Hm I have passed one es, a es of deliverance nd wha wil ighen me now? gan and agan, all Power and Glory o Our Lord
(Aenoon) Boh our vsor and Frances had very bad nghs, Frances especilly I wonder I would have survved he ngh whou her? My feelngs abou las ngh are changng as such a glorous vcory? Was only wha I mer? a nghmare o each me esson, all he res jus a subjecve embelshen? I mus hod myself very closely and be ever wachfl I feel my ude o he Operaon emporary weakenng, as hough m oraon wl lose all sncery I mus hold ogeher, bu jus a hs momen seems very hard s always, he Chng advises and correcs me Oh, I fee so much he wo wowng in he dung-
66
e Fist wo Months
hep tdy I ee dy, wth y w t cy e th Suddey, depte the et th tht hve hpeed, ee ty dct A dedt epte Vey hevy et d bece c d t S y the ty c uddey pe to e. Ad I eed, y wee, tht e g Ag, th vey hevy Opet et t 25 pril
Recoveed, pty due to dcveg Ace Bey' Tbe is es to the ibetan teache Djwahl ul who wote many boos usin Alice Bail as his seceta) A the I Chin h c te uture Uwothe, dcpe, wthe. Oet et t 26 pril
A vey ht te eo d e e yt, dyht whe wothy. pet ept t 27 pril
Opet ept t A bze te e , t te coutey o Ace Bey' betu Tbet whe te, wd d de dw he b tht ve ce y wy Nuhy, I ddey te ee e c h be. I uppe the whoe ped ted dy he tc whch I thk they ttepted to e (the eectc c) Bt eve I ut be cre wth ye The whe ytc ccept the Get Ac bece ce dd I det t bee? Ad thee e th owede, ed d uture tht I ot wt hee Wy? ty, t y ve de. Secody, bpheou (.e, wht eec is e terc). Thdy, I y be w Ad ce I be th y, e e thg tht I hve t wrtte . Rghte? The e? e tge wth the co d dod The w (I o not emembe what I was efein to hee) A y t etety W, Gy d Lve My w the. 28 pril
Opet ept to The Tbet h ey et te b y wy A cee detd, e t eeece. The pg ytc bece the ytc cct w
e Fist wo Months
67
ig psitively His pla. d , while uertakig th Operatio, a ow gog to eter ito ititive contact with y brother. ill actio ad thoughts alog thi line hurt th Operatio? ee as though aothr attack ight occr I fear it, yet would welce it it ea aother tep, another trength Thi or ig, approachd, perhap evn tred, Saahi or o co pletely ew tat of cocioun. Trid aai to rach it with negative reult The fourth voic cracin throuh. Our guest leavg today, with practical coplication, which hav added to the rky eergy. She, howvr, ha bn initiatd. (Alo, a prect case of acral throat aluction which w hop will clar up.) buy, by ti. Now for o paiv r-orintation of everythig. Except Hi Glor a y unworthi have just re-read the last thre wek a a tag, trage eelg over which part o e write thi I a watching all thi eve ow. I ust oehow crack throuh ad create the oe (Hw strage that E. (Ewa Gove, y psychoanayst) hould have sid true sophistcatio i reachd whe te voice are heard i the head is this eve a ourth?) I ut have oe pace t ove orward ith all thi ew stuff. So uch cousio ess a holdig yel back ro th truth ad ralizatio. But I ear vaty. a at the cetre of the balace ad ca ee i o direco. Daylight Dayligh. 29 pri
ertio kept to Guest depared yeterday. Highly exhasted ad stpid. tie o relecti. 30 pril
pert kept to. so a workig or Pari. ( was paying an ceting thoughtfoms to t an issuae the Fench govenment om continuing with suace nucea testing t 51 p praye ad ade ctact. ked ayon ele wa workig iiarly Re ceive reply that a brother i Zurich wa. Suggete a piral but lost cotact thi, eriouly woder, uth i telpathy or purely subjective aivety? jut o ot kow an woder if I a akig a ool ysel. But I ollow the whi received i e ro elsewhere. This whi (??) ay also that have ad cotact with M ( was efeing to the teache nown as Maiteya i the Oratory, receivg istructo, avice, ncouragnt, acceptance ad co tet. This is al ruly sowhat boggig to . a sceptical,
68
he Fist wo Months
t ct nd on it In t t ni tod c trut nd lov in Our Lord nd i t rt ccoodt it to tt Gor, tn , t cn ? R M t on t ground, d ti coud tring to toug to vn For i Gor May
M D Ortion t to Buti Frnc inititd r u grd nd no tng sord i r nd; coincid it r vg viion o t gic o r (nd t Lord) crtg cid, o cd uc ubtion in rt t ti but vr t gt, or bot o u tc ovr r it uc trt, nd ov nd cr uu T rtr ov, t or bring t Sheinah (the Hebew wo fo a femae aspect of ivinity that oveights hoy occasions an is ie Gace o Soph) into , ng t rt bttr nd Our Lord oyu M, tot xutd nt to nd nt d troug t coud nd in t , bt tr i notg cn do t t ont, xct b tc o Wic, uo, i t nt to do t t ont But I v o nrg And I gtting clor nd cor, but cnnot trtc ort nd rc it. Wo b i ti xct in? I v trb vn tougt tt cannot go n tr i did, oud dintgrt nd o vrtg I nt Samahi (A meitative consciousness which mixes a competey sient min with biss an nowing.) nt on ot to gint i I do y Toug r trribl, i Mrc, Pit nd Lov And to A Gory 2 May
Ortion t to Lt ngt vr v M trotion (boy) intn gtng or contro Tig cr no bor go to bd, but bttd God ig, t t btt o ti id Ho uc or o ti ris i ? Unort 3 May
Ortion t to A oing o grt c, rvtion bout bg on t Et, o ng v uon i oottoo brr nd div conct, no rty or Tis toon bttrconcd crrd d vr r, vr nugt n, in t Ortor ti vning, grt nd orrib vont Wit ov nd hep diid Tt l o ongr to it
e First Two Months
6
lovig ad cofortig word. Phyically, th top of y had i poppig i that plac vr bor o its. Frac raly ad trly iitiatd ito fightig alog th path. Good ad corrct. My protctio. How foridabl it all (w two) hal b. A vr, y worthi and si bfor Hi His Glor. (Oh, and lat ight awok to d ylf floatg wightl i pac ad . T cod latr, th nals broght back to arth ad y body) 4 May
My had i poppig cotioly ad it intnsly (at ti alot ubarably). a rlativly xcitd a kow thi a a flowig of rgy to th pial ad pititary which ight giv l pychi ad thirdy viio. hall . Lat ight th poppig ovd back a fw ich o th ctr (at th top) of y kl, bt ha ow rrd to dad ctr. wodr tho xrci I wa strctd to do o t ago hav hlpd or whthr it i happnig too fat. (In my meitations some months previousy I ha teepathicay receive uiance on how to fee certain eneries movin up my spine an throuh my hea an then bac aain) Bt y brai i good workig ordr With th hlp of th har (this is one of the boo ofthe bbaistic traition) thik tha I ay hav fathod o o th crt o ght which wl ro all al far of illory dark. Halfanhor' (psychic) xrci to rov toothach. My had wl ad tly i th clod, a batlld agai. ry, vry hard. My lat drop of wl to pray coctratio. Opratio kpt to. 5 May
Phyically, aly ad pychically wrckd. My had tor clod A ow cal, bt th dpair wa dp ad Hi presence trrid . Now cal. Th battl coti. hall wi. (I thik wh? God wilig.) Oprato kpt to. 6 May
I today, bt ow alot btr. Hav vr prvioly b o wak. Mt cal ad coti gtly. My oratio fbl. Had poppig toppd ytrday; rtartd or itly today. Opratio kpt to.
7
First wo Months
7 May
Strength slowly coming back Frances charging forward. Occa sionaly this eveig I have felt a burning sensation aed to the intermitent throb at the top of my head Operation kept to B May
Tentyfour hours' calm and rest and now the battle has recom menced I must ca and go more slowly ith quiet patient devotion I hik this is the anser, but even as1 have approached that way of behavig, the battle and strain has intensified. Ah e, four more months to work out the way for Our Lord and an ifinity afterards in contiuaion Operation kept to 9 May
Although the battle continues in eaest for some reason this evening is somewhat lighthearted Accoring to the Tibetans esoteric healing' I intepret my headpopping as a setting into ction of the thousandpetalle lotus which inicates the Third nitiation Some happiness over this, not that I tuly understan it (By this time was beginning to unrstan the spiritua ath as a sries of inittions, each on maring a nw nsion in consciousnss an a gratr su rrnr to ove. n the schm to which I was attach - an in soteric itratur thr are many irnt schms thre is a ong perio of iscipship an the proving of r votion an intntion bfore the iernt initiations are possibe.) The one pat of it that I cn almost
early picture is the surge o ovi that might be unleashed om the third eye Incidentaly, am now threequarters through Vol ume 2 of the Zohar a beautil mystical book ith many ausions that I fail to comprehend do hoever, unerstn the a and povery of those occultsts and mystics movig aroun as grand masters. A joke on this for Frances If only the / eveyone realised that that hao which they aim for an covet so much is no more than a stypound crashhelmet crashing around on the nex level up This is all too lighthearte The battle to be worthy to do His work, to merely have the riht to truly love Him contiues ifitely with pai (wch we eserve) Operation kept to
he Fist wo Months
7
1 0 Ma y
The battle continues (vanit eakness, unothiness) Yet agai this lightheated feeling ts eveng And a vision of et geate stength Also m oatio must become moe joful Fances a tue comfot as m bain scambles eall a pilla ithout ho thee might be total collapse Am beginning to t to intepet m deams coectl Headpoppig intense tonight Opeation kept to 1 1 May
Thgs happening duing oation about hich I cannot ite M head ton beteen complete madness as a veil thon up to deceive me and a faith in the shock that it eall happens Which eve it teas me apat and I have seen the Phoenix ising fom the eepg ashes (It as at this point that I began intensel to expeience the eal dualit ithin mself On the oe side thee as all of me that I ha believed to be ea - m identt as ceated ithin my fam m schooling ad m cultue; evething that I had idented myself as fo tent eas And on the othe side, thee as this inne itness, atching poeful and fu of cae, ith hom I as inceasigl identing Yet as this ealignment took place it did not feel teally like a gacefu shift It was as all m inte pschic enegies ee chagg gea but thee as no clutch to ease the tasition onl a shil feelig of cunching meta It gave me headaches ad teible anxiet in m stomach and chest M old pesonalit instinctivel esisted its ne positio subseviet to m idetification ith m tue inne self At the same time, I as beging to ecognise that I needed, in a damic and enegetic a, tl to enounce this old pesonalit and that though thi enunciation m te Self ould be able to As m tue self enteed its eneg ould achemicall tansfo m od dg pesoalit ad, tansfoed it ould live again, but no as the metaphoicall aised phoenix aising fom the ashes) Opeation kept to All Glo to the One 1 M ay
Life somehat calme, but inside the Oato the same as este da continues and a eakness, a fea of sots, holds me back thik I am cetai of nothg an moe as egads msef and the Path udestand nothig that is happeg ithin me and to me
72
e Fist wo Months
Ye, every day, I see and undersand more aroud me in a ver deep fashion Bu he ashes God forbid ha i shoud be he same for a ohers suggg aog he Pah bu hen, suppose i mus be If ha igh coud be igheed for hem And he again no doub i has been ighened for me! ! o menion bu one (I am here erpreing Chris reigns wihi me as meaphor for my e Sef reigning wihi me) Operaion kep o 1 3 May
Bae hs afeoon Nighmare of sors as nigh again I did no successfuy conon and de wih i whie i he dream, bu immediaey aferwards feeing he gree evi, pued mysef ogeher ad was aos insaaneousy successfu Again, in he Oraory, rea eaviness To whom am I iseig? Oe separae voice said i was mysef I have no idea wha is happeng or ho I shoud be reacing ohood o me A Goy o he One Operaio kep o 14 May
In he Oraory is eveng, a hea aack foowed by a divie conversaion Bu was i divine? Are he inscions rea or from ? Am oay deuded? We sha see hin unhepfu (me unrecepive?) for a week now is his par of a poy? ( was continu in to thow the I Chig avice but was not now abe to k any sense of what I was eain.) s a of i a po o es my sengh and faih (even physicay beside me)? I pu my faih Him and no fear wi breah my Oah The confusion is inese grea, bu I guard a cam hrough His Love and Mercy Operaion kep o 1 5 May
The buidup coninues In prayer I fee more effecive coser - I don know Operaion kep o 1 6 M ay
There is nohng ha I may wrie abou ody Al Gory o he One Operaion kep o
Fist wo Months
73
7 Ma y
The voice that I have been hearin is Teachers He spoke with e full, praising, warning, hinting, so loving Instctons for and until the cliax of the Operation; how to contact him f necessary; how to contnue behaving, future position Most huble thas to our Lord, all Glory to the One
was on this ay that my ntuton that I was beng helpe by a
che on the inne planes goune n a cstal clea telepathic communication an also n a ve eal sense of His pesence an atmosphee. Pat of my taning in this peio was to istinguish between the eneges an ntuitons of my own nne self, an the pesence an commun ications of my nvsible eache. e enegy of my eache was wam, comfoting an ve familia. He also new me ntimately an I felt unconitionally love an suppote by Him At the same time I felt a esponsbility to Hm an to His wo. I ha some images of Him oatin in my psyche an they wee all associate wth the Euopean magical taition an gnostic hstianity: symbols of the empla an Rosicucan oes.)
Now, a te of gentleness and retreat into self for stength to come A time of quiet and carefuess What can I sa? AlGlor to the One again nd agan This one further initiation - le all the others and the ones to coe selfinitation - but with such loving help Glory Glor to the One Operation kept to 8 M ay
And now the battle continues - siilar territory, sar tactics, but somehow dferent Unworthiness and weakness is ever there before Hi, especially so in e Operation kept to 1 9 M ay
Totally phsically wiped out today, cold shivers tying to hold off a fever Yet, in the iddle of this, a long dialogue within, ith a suggeston that a reintegrate things I a You are 1' etc etc a breakingpoint Oration ts evening totally feeble Operation kept to 20 May
Swith severe stoach crap and holding off a fever Today is the last of the First Two Moons of the Operation and how
7
e Fist wo Months
wondrfu thy hav bn f hav oy lvd to b raced wh th kowd that hav now, to b racd wth th aby o hav and prcv Hs ov as o, woud ad do consr myself th most ucky man alv No - to acqur more strth, reaer and dpr knowd and, mosty, worhess bfore Hm Consdrng ths frst two moths, canot and dar ot thnk of what may b and ovr th nxt four Th stra mracl s ho Tme aways passs, wth aways Hs tach so corrcy pac ucky and gracd a I. A Gor to Hm, th On Th prayr now changs shty, n that for ntr the Oratory y sha wash your hads and fac thorougy wh pur watr. Ad you sha prolo your prayr th th rats possb acton, dvoton and submsso; humbly etat h ord God that H woud dgn to comman Hs Hoy Aels to ad you n th Tru ay, and sdom, a Knowde (by studying th whch assduously n th Sacrd Wrts, thre wll ars mor and mor [sdom] your hart). Aso, o fast vry Saturday Ev. My ony doubt s n dsturbng Hs Anels, kow how hardworkd thy ar- perhaps ther s rhtous slshess hr. I st rpat my wondr at th nd of ths two months From a dyng pont o vw, t s a too bzarr, too rat But so t s from any pont of vw xcpt Abov thank th ord for al s mrcs by whch alone hav bn ab to trad th Pah ths far and, wt Hs , furthr Opraton kpt to.
H M o MH he two st Moons being nished; the two seond oons follow, duing the whih ye shall make yu paye, moing and evening at the hou austomed; but befoe enteing the Oato ye shall wash you hands and fae thooughly with pue wate And you shall polong you paye with the great est possible aetion, devotion and submission; humbly enteating the Lod God that He would deign to ommand His Holy Agels to lead you the e way, and Wisdom, and Knowledge
From th nstrutons o th Sard S as o th
Te ddle Two onts
76
1 My
Stll and vy wak and, tfo, n t ofntn ny, an napco tat o th cond pod of two ont owv, po to b contn I tnk tat y ad now pannty ov t clod al I now ndtan t nxt tp, nk, of akn t ponaty a totally nta body of ny fo s by y ol; t appnn Dp wtn, I aan a n tnt and anoth von Wat batt o co to acq t? nttn chan n t Cing. Ov t lat to wk, t a co p thqat of th t wt Yot Foly (xa am 4) wch I fnaly ndtand a ann tat I a now b noh to lk aft mylf Mtnk t t v too c cdt Gloy to O Lod Oaon kpt to 2 y
Stll l, bt jt ndn I tnk Batt conn Opaton kpt to 3 y
Ill on Battl contn Opaton kpt to 4 y
lln on Fn ton A ao bnn to ndtand t pow of laton and cptvty tat I hav fo wc all pa and tn to c A v, y tb nwot n bfo Opaton kpt to 5 My
I av lant a at dal abo pay fo t Zoa pcay n fnc to t Pal oday I dcovd n aty t ot condt yty of Jhova lo ( do not ecall wat I eant by ts)
Many tg appnn today, a (sycc) a of ot, and I
The Mile Two Months
77
thank His rcy for His ssngr shall write or f about this in a fw days' tim Psals 9 and 1 Opration kpt to 26 My
fl that th (psychic) war is continng coinciding' with the ost xtr day in world news for a long tim: cland attacks Britain; Argntina chang of govnt and riots expecte from terrorists; Gre ship's captain (military) and som crew seek political asylu in taly; nw govent in Jordan; news o Gnral Ain havn assacrd 90,00 in Uganda Sufcit an crats uch food for thought and rsponsibity Anothr intrsting topic for comnt is conversation with Angls By th ti an adpt has rached this stag h is barrely rcptiv strong and sing Threfor and considering th cr tain dgr of strain h is and ust b healthiy scptical about any nusalitis in his psych This obviously leads to some doubt about th convrsation Th doubt think must reain as an insuranc -for thre ar too any othrs who seek to conse and bring down his ar but th voic must b ollowed with a divie ust And ths voics ar so ovrwhlnly loving Again wi elucidat whn th nxt few days ar ovr - presupposing that gain a clarr pictur (On this ay I ha a convesation with what I too to be an Anel. It was eassu in but I was also ve sceptical. It too place uin a time of what felt lie intense attac by malevolent eneies. nless one has actually expeience one of these situations seen the peculia chane n liht an iectly felt the atmosphee as it aects one's min an tilts one towas lunacy it is icult pehaps to believe in these malevolent foces>
All Glory to th On Opration kpt to 27 My
Th war s continng and bliev raching a cliax this vning find th Tarot cards most usl for xtrely rcondit probls spcially in gving an xplanaion for the presnt situation All Glory to th On who pts his Hierarchy to my protction with H as y Rock A thosand and tn thousand wll fall bt not a to of y foot Opration kpt to
78
e Mile wo Months
28 May
I thnk and hope that that (psychic) war s no over or endng. The last four days have been the most theatenng and heavy that I have yet experened At ponts yesterday I thought about beng on the verge of rang but as saved by the thought: a millon years of ths, yes, f t will bring me to Hm The nght of 25 Mayan Angel ame to me n te Oratoy and sad that he had been sent to protet me He was truly most lovng and kind and, wthout his presene, I dread to thnk ho I would have fared Hs nterest n me, however, was not personal but n terms the (ivine) Plan. It seemed a natural enouh sequene of events that my (or anyone's) ntaton to ths spae should set the Blak Fores rumblng espealy onsdern the outome of the Opeaton, God wllng I remaned untouhed exept for two or three oasons (last nght was very bad wth a deep and heavy sweating n the Oratory and a shmmering Astral all round the house at nght), but the m bling ertanly affeted our globe, and s ontinung. I thank God fo Hs nfnte mery n protetng me and for sendng Hs Messenger whom I also thank in deepest affeton. God wl that ths partular perod s over. It has been very dfiult, but wth the help, not impossble Anythng, to ome to was at this stage in he six onhs ha I began to expeience the ealiy of he angelic eals.) Ths evenng agan a vson of Saahi the potenal rule of my
oversoul It wll oe when I desre and l t every seond of my lvng lfe Be alm, stong and wat. Truly, uly All Glory to the One who looks kndly upon ths feeble worm Operaton kept to 2 May
My Lord, what a bzarre and marvellous day. All day I felt very gulty, vey unmagal, Hm not suffently n my nd. As though the last four days had n a way defeated me and that I wshed to see and feel nothng My aton, though, were n no way snful or wked exept, of ourse, n separateness but I felt snfully empty My oraton ths evenng took that form great gult before Hm and then ... A vson and feelng o f suh blss and gaeful strength, a ue baptsm of fe There are no words to desrbe ts wonder, but suh vson Oh orld, the Great Gloy of Our Lord should make us all rse to sng Glory Glory The Lord Our God s the One God,
he Mile wo Months
7
lovin and mercil, holdin everythin in Grace and Severity ith H. This is hat the last for days have led to. For days A milion years. That I shold have lived only for this. y Lord, sch divine mercy. No, more ork to effet this initiation (initiation is nothin bt reater love), to lve ts space and to make mysel trly worthy of this knolede and strenth. To lose all eakness and separateness, for I am stll the orm in the dnheap. AlGlory to Him. Thoh ot of the Oratory, I am heavily aed and nervos almost, bt feel stanely sober. Operation kept to. 30 May
Today I feel obstcted by mysel. Same feelins of ilt as yesterday. Weakness as ever. Operation kept to. 31 May
Stil not correct. Operation kept to. 1 June
Everythin comin back toether. A day of reat ease and calm. Everythin settled. Bt I do not lose siht o my poverty. Yes, this time mst be sed viorosly and selly. Ho lon may it ast? A fe days - forever? Operation kept to. 2 June
aain - my falt. What a total foolish pathetic aste. Operation kept to.
3 une
Stpidly, still ill bt some joy this evenin as Frances had the vision that ill see her throh the First Itiation. It ll be interestin and fn to atch her seein ho it orks raceflly throh time and not in nstantaneos leaps, thoh the vision is instantaneos and allimportant. Ho mercifl and reat Our Lord is. (Accoing to my map, at this st initiation the enegy of the heat spins into aiant activity an aites love whateve the activity of the iniviual. )
Operation kept to.
80
e Mie wo Months
4 ne
Considering the atmosphere iis not surprising that an unanted visi has arived but he is sent for more ork. (his was a casua acquantance om onon who was passing through Morocco an ha manage to get ho of our aress I am havg o adjust severey to kno hw to dea th hi bt ! aready thk thigs i happen Unfornaey I did not do wo hours readig tonight but I do consider hi as ok: am I correct or soveny? Operation kept to S n e
ast night as totay disorientated. For the first time I as put of cenre in my eakness and spent the hoe night being haued across he cas compee and tota shame ( was now becoming inceasingy conscious of mysefwhist aseep an apparenty eaming In this state eams, imagination an reaity merge into a singe experi ence; psychoogica an psychic strugges become expicit conicts that ae actuay ive out an experience in the ream state So whie being in a ream or a nightmare, I was aso sefaware an conscious of how an wy I was in the experience So, for exampe, ifan aspect ofmy personaity was rebeing against the iscipine an surrener of the itua I wou not simpy fee uncomfortabe an epresse I wou experience this aspect of mysef externaise as a gure or a scenario in my reams an actuay ente into strugge with t At the same time it aways seeme as if othe energies were attracte to the scene an I ha aso to ea wth them Tday more cam bu oy after a fight This evening hover a ne vision in the Oratory a sadness of oueves and energies that gives a bizarre visin and seeing eyes Oh ord yet more to ive to and I can aost grasp i I be orhy I caot epress the surging feeing I no kno. This diary wi end hen I am it Gory to the One Operatn kep to 6 n e A difficu day y disorienation over ishig to hep our guest
heped create a situation that as tearg me apart ear Lord for oa tranquiity though a comes from Hi does it not? ore success his evening the Zohar ished and I am gratefu for hat i has tagh me about prayer No readng he ibetan Boo of the Geat ibeation Opeation kept to
The Mile Two Months
81
June
The las few days have disienaed e vey much I a ex haused and vey, vey cnfused I am unable see all ha has happened clealy and feel as huh I a siulaneusly walking backwads in he dunheap and upwads in sehin I do n cpehend I cann ude anyhin and have fel ea ea pain I is al quie indescibable In effe, alhuh he exenal cicusances' wee uncnlable, nhin happened excep cecly and unde will Pehaps i is y ha sain (I am efeing hee to the ongoing sense of tension ceate by the spiitual stuggle, a sense of both the physical tension an of the stuggle to hol o nevous collapse an mental beaown Mystics elibeately invoe these tensions which then facilitate an povoe inne tansfomation.)
Tday, I knw nh Eveyhin aically wked, bu a feen f eneically unwhy empiness and lwliness Fo peace pull his mess ehe All Gy Hi fo His Mecy and ndes Opeain kep An afehugh: My lwe self now behaves quie ppely and powefully and is n nauh My hihe self says Wha on eah shuld I have d wih his scene' Qie cec 8 J un e
My aic is si ls Bh nih and yeseday hee has been heavy inefeence in he Oay bu I cpe much bee and oe snly Tnih exeely heavy, bu I cninued i a semi deliius sae I find ha fcin he' (malevolent enegies) o sin psals wih me helps They lef and hen a Messenge came wh auh e hw cusily I behave, hw ude and booish I a ih be he ms pie an n eah I was ed wih uch shame (This Messenge was an angelic being My Maste ha avice fo me, b ut obviosly i not have the time to hang aon waiting fo me to be in a ight ame of awaeness to eceive his avice He woul theefoe thin his counsel into a clou of thought enegy an gi it to the angel who woul then hove aoun me ntil I was eay to ancho it in bain consciousness This pticula angel was also a sophisticate consciousness in its own ight with uch expeience ofwoing with an helping spiitual aspiants who wee specically on the occult path.)
I have n excses day - nly dunheap - and I shall be e wachful This is ba and unwhy ie, bu le me b oyful f he fac ha i is ccuin in a sepaae place (By much of this, I am
2
e Mie wo Months
ay simpy sayin that I was in an uncontoaby ba moo.) The
ew essege sys he l eu s oe s is eee Goy o he e Opeio ke o J une
et ble oy o egai omiy Wih much hev epes
so, succeee moe o ess !) feoo toy s gi rroue by he hevies' ho s usu quitisoiette me a ce hem o pye The essee he reue expaie ht shou oe my he i pye eve my boy vuebe to them, hich i A mos oel esso segh, hough iiiy evecki; o be coiue (
eant yeas ate that most of the expeience of fea is ocate in the physica/etheic boy an it is ony fe the boy has fet this unpeasant ene e that the min enaes. e tic then, when woin with hese ins of eneies is to ep the min isenae even thouh the boy is epeiencin the theat . Ae a whie of woin in this way even he boy becomes accus tome to the unusua o ihtenin ene es an no one eacts in a fea moe impy eistein the occu ence) The, gi, tht visio of Samahi which gives me so much
hame ye esie (y he hs begu poppg gi - o ot es) Opeio kep o 1 0 J une
Despite iv of Fces' ie, thigs quiete Opeo kept o 1 1 une
Ls igh le ht o ie, poeil bohe, ws obsesse by egive voices ( was to that an o ien ha ispaye schizophenic behaviou an ene up u ner seation in a menta hospita He ha specicay caime that he was une attac om emonic foces.) pye fo him a o he eti o tke me
o se be oe, it ppee, svge uusuy pes eivey miless To commece ih ws e, vey evous t is segh, bu er becme vey symp ttc ce ow he essege a ske if He cou emove t o whee, he eie he si ht coul oy o so by sovi bsobig i i my o ove o ot fee be o o
he Mie wo Monhs
83
that at the moment but hope that shal after the Operatio. most glorious da toda n the oration I achieved Uni Samah no words to describe it And I he i for man minutes evn for a while outside. Oh for it permanentl to be free and seve. ou Sadhus Samahi sas one cannot hol it permanentl - that is too heav a goal but wonder. ( was naly comin ino he meiaie expeience of compee uniy wih a ife whis expeiencin biss) wonder more and more abou this Operation. t the bgin nig felt t o be more than that wch appeared Certainl the occultists have little idea about it at all I am nervous tonight and somewha overcome. The duali afer the Oneness with its remembrance is ver hard. naught in that stopped reading he ibean Boo of he Dea halfwa through to read Alice Bailes Fom Behehem Caa meanwhie dipping into oui Sahu. A Glory to the One and all thans to His ngels for I remain a worm - but a worm hat glows somewhat. Operation kep to. 1 2 u ne
estera still echoig effecting through me. Toa I realise increasingl its import and there are no words though he writers whom am currentl reaing atempt to verbalize at ts approaching its vision and transcendence This think is th tue Third nitiation accordig to the Tibetan. (Accin o his aicu a iniiao map, he hi iniiaion is when he pesonaiy becomes ly open o he eney an awaeness of he sou which exposiey aes ouwas ansuin he whoe peonay.) Who knos esterda after which no sensation knowlege or consciounss will be the same. All is changed - not a stupeing flash bu a cal Oneness -a dissolution in H There can be no slippig back now . Everthig is confied and cemened i His One Toal Lov an Trascendence. That despite m unworhiness this shoul have been grnted Operation kept o 1 3 un e
The chage contiues Operation kept to. 14une
The change still continues with a crisis toda as realized the horror of the dualit. Constant conversation between the two - realit - coaxing imploring tellingoff loving. This must be
The Mile Two Months
ed ot shotl o shall cack in m sickess in is love Opeatio kept to. ave ead Alice Baile's Fom Bethlehem to ala. No ead The Mysteies of hates atheal. une
n the Oato this evenng am toted and scaed ad nde stand little of al thi t is a qite avain and beaki expeience that totall cshes me at the time almost alk·to my oation no i a feafl state ead fo that a. t is deseved ad ill take me fthe. (My pesonality esistance to the iscipline an suene was now extaoinaily intense) Bt cannot expess its heaviness Am eminded of the phase the dak niht of the sol' bt feel that that is tul et to come. A balancig bit of pathl happiness comes fom a sdden ndestading of the Temple belo and the Temple above (Rea in the boo on hates atheal I ha beun to expeience how my own boy an pesonality ehicle was a eection of the iine heaenly boy The coponene between the two ceate the possibility of the little human ehicle vibatin in total hamony with the eate heaenly vehicle an thus bestowing a maical blessin on the wol aoun) mst see if can tl lean to unestan an now thei pocess of
functionig. Did not ead fo to hos this evenin. Oation kept to. 1 6 u ne
Calm as ite this bt a most heavy battle again today A feelin o total loss aimlessness, some aloneness And that pat of me me - that - hich - am attempting to da p foeve into tht light ems and sceams like a lost child in the deset that neve ends in hich nothing can be sensed o peceived t clings despetel to this life do ich melodamatic Pehaps in this momet of calm bt in the Oato the battle is sevee All it tells me is that am a sinne Nothing ll stop me contining and kno too el ho mch ths is eqied, is my de in fact eveyan's ho stumbles alog the Path o long thogh nd hat can do ee fo the first time iid discipline and my poes ae of no help o se. The ve essence is shaking As it ell might.. The Lod potects me thogh it, eve Mecifl in is Jde
he Mile wo Months
ment Operation kept to hates book nished and I hve clearer vision of future work and its prcticaities Yes A wi be we 1 7 un e
A sgh problem, as our guest is totay nctiong in her em tiona body, with orientated fghs into ental, and is a grey cd in our mdst There appears to be no way of hepig to rise her i ny way a there s heavy suppressed hstity It is ey sad d ike so mny others I suppose this is est of hamessness nd perls before swine I see no way t al around it Is this so mch my fault The batte continues, but slghty ess tense Operation kept to 1 8 u ne
It a coniues now reading Moni Sdhs Samahi hich is very hepful Along with honouabe advice om Chi i would seem that a chnge of attitude is i order he oucome he sruggle is evitabe Sice cdhood I have knon ths ue therefore do not fight, but use joy cam I do not hik hoever, that I can do that; te outcme is ievibe bu heaven us be sormed I do not know Operation kept to 1 9 u ne
It continues stil Haing left the Oratory is evenig, I ws ced back n to conont a eal 'heavy with whom I dealt by hvi i recite the Lordss Prayer with me It did not bother me as it is in fantasy comared to what I am going tough at the momen be quite honest wth this iary, I do not wish ths state to cnie or happen eer agai It is unbelevably toruous and pi Truly, he only strength is in Hi at the moment If this is no he dark night of the sou and that is yet to come But Faih ope and their protecton wil see one through eerythig And I kow the inevitability of the future So whatever must, obviousy s - and with a goo heart u it is so heay and I bleed fo the others (Othe mystics who folow this path Operation kept to
6
he Mile wo Mon Months ths
20 Jun
ill continue. continue. Heavie Heavierr and heavier. heavier. My only solace solace i i in he ought hat it will end end in a month or o and then the ligh. od ilng. Oeration ket to 2 1 J u n n
Summer Summer soltice I til continue, lu horrible stomach crams over the last few day. I have udenly become ve aw re in reality of the astromenal energie emanating fom me and I am trying to pace it under total disciline, occasionaly enurin that nohing at all tha t time ti me of of the absolute absol ute real reality ity that people emanate ( learnt uring that vibrate or rate or emanate their emotions an thoughts into the environmen environm ent.t. Since Sin ce then I have been been an exponen exponen t of of spiritual ecoogy', ecoogy', the th e reco recognition gnition that our ou r ecologic ecologica a responsibility responsibility incue inc uess the t he iscipline of ceaning up our ou r emotions an thoughts in orer orer not n ot to rther pollute pollu te the atmosphere) atm osphere) At the same time thi takes the workbiity workbiity of the reat Arcanum to its limit and give me an aw assement of my ower ower in term of of creaion and action - i is quite the most exreme 'weaon or creative ability a man may ossess I ray the Lord that tha t I am acing hrough hrough thi eriod a I hould hould,, but I am uly learning all hat i an i to be acrificed I welcome i and am digusted a my revious revious nonunderstaning of o f thee baic tuth an my current flehly reitance. ore and more I know what I am to be which give me even greaer shame a t what I have been an am. And, in time, every every man and living thing hall enter that conciousne of Him Again, it continue and I a m overcome with ain and hame, hame, an ick in Hi love for my my infulne. I am nothing. Oeration ket to. 22 Jun
And heavier. Oi I do not thnk that I am bearing u to i or behaving behaving ell Total To tal reitance, friction friction No word wo rd,, am jut wait ing Oeration ke to 23 Jun
It continue till till Not o e e halo, there there i alway omeone worse off Today I aw the acual acice of our Mother Mothe r Earh, and how he mus rise with with u - or that we mu take take her and everything ih u And toay she gave me grea comfort Have finished
he Mile wo Months Month s
7
ea tis on ouni adhus Samahi ad am now eading .K.'s A ea osmic osmi c Fie Fie ninety pe ent ent of whih whih do not understand. (Also am stopping stopping igarette smoking smoking whih ads a ds to the strai.) Opeation kept to. 24 u n e
Today takes the pize as the most heavy, disorientated and tortu ous yet. Everything is flowing, shieng out (aided by niotine withdawal symptoms, after thirty a day fo te yers). To put it bluntly, was pretty feaked Another heavy i the Oratory who had me sweatig and aeleratig the the payes to et out. But - a vision that if really really heavy' it, 'll ' ll burn my way through, through, nd this gives a slight ray of light at the end of this horrible but deserve tunnel. am not aiming too high, high, but how low am ? Understand hardly anythig i osmic Fie ill read it twie. Really the extrety of today has surpised me. hat is yet to ome? Operation kept to. 2 5 un un e
think that that this partiular partiular period may be ong to t o an end. end . The oation this evening was muh alme, but things happenig, ods, et., that may be total halluinatoy and suggestive fantasy. (By os' I was ef efeing to the os of of initiation, initiati on, o intensey intense y channele chann ele ne ne, that tha t geat e eache use to sti s timua muate te thei stuen st uen ts' enegy an help them though initiation) initiation ) t may be othewise, but I feel that
know nothing and am worthy of nothing. Opeation kept to. 26 une
Yes, these horible days are ending and am eemerging, eemerging , but with a full view view of all that needs doing. doing . o o doubt a sila peiod will eur befoe the end. All of the last ten days, followng the one whih ahieved/ ahieved / showed showed Samahi have truly demonstrated to me the work that must now be doe and am gradually preparing myself for this wa, rekoning to put the whip fully aross me as begin the last two months (years?) on 21 July. feel at the moment that am a lazy, unworthy sluggard, but must, thik, appoah the oming wa with full and alm preparation. o now see a hazy glow at the end of the the tunnel? Pehaps, Pehaps , but do not deserve to to - and all is vanity.
e Mile Mile wo Months Mon ths
Tody Frnce took up the word to charge (tumble) forwrd ie of u God with her long the thoy pth he torm Heven Operion kept to 27
The bd period definit definitey ey over - tempor temporri riy y - and now a te of growth gin A viion of iing new concioune In the Ortory, I feel tht Unity Unity wi reign uprem over the duality dua lity nd I m no onger o pined by it a I ee hope - indeed a glow t the end of the tunnel But But mut prepare prepare carefully carefully for that wr, though diplomtic reltion are are lredy being tried prior to full decl rtion osmic Fie now prt undertndble, undertndbl e, but prking me o geter undertnding and widom of the Unity nd he Whoe n erhp erhp I kno bolutely bolutely notng notng - nothing t l om my wory tte (But, obioul obiouly, y, life i better) bett er) Opertion kept to 28
Tonight in the Ortory my lower mental fculty (the chatteing min) went temporrily totly out of control nd hd to be piuly lpped down; it urge of energy w tonihing nd mde me ever more conciou of wht wht mut be done But I cme in conct with the mona my overoul, overoul, my pirit - contct only, not uniy - nd plce myelf under its inuction, inuction, ometng I must do contnuouly At thi moment, I cnnot cn not hold it and, in fct, bu t I wil plce myelf totlly under it control nd do reit it; but nothing without without it greement or, to be more more exact, it intcti i ntction on Thi i ll very diicult, but it i indeed moement for t unworthy worm Opertion kept to (Accoing to my map of spiitual consciousness consciousness , eive om om esoteic esoteic B uhism an an theosophy, theosophy, the psyche psyche has thee thee maj majo o asects asects:: the pesonality pesonality the soul an pue spiit, the mona . Wen the pesonal pesonality ity has lly l ly opene opene to the con sciousness an ene of the pesonal inne soul, it is then possible possibl e to begin begin to have contact with with pue pu e cosmic spiit, sometimes also calle monaic awaeness awaeness In my expeienc expeience, e, soul sou l awaeness was li an ocean of bliss; monaic mona ic awaeness was lie a lase beam bea m of ecstasy opening up up into innity) 29
voice' hee I mean a sense sens e of monaic, monaic , pue pu e spiit, I loe the voice (By voice'
The Mile Two Months
9
awareness I los t. I t Oratory ts g regn t and stay ommuato for aaour a t I lose t agan, usng almost ay us. (ie Any tiny murmuring thought of my min oul istrat me I will ol t. eras a form o braktrough wt a for ras ts ng, tat s soul a son wt m aart from aytig ls to l m), but I dot tk se a ol that for log as m abo: jok. ( r here in the ia a six pointe star an I have no iea what I thought was a joe Oeraton kt to. T w wll b al to tak m om f I r worty. Ju ne
No o toay but ras gratr otrol. I dot kow I know notg at t momt about wat s apning or aout to a; qually wtr I am beag orretly or apror atly; qually wr all ts s ladg to. I fl I must old togeter ad us ardr. y a burs oasoally during t oraon. A Treatise on osmi Fire ow sparkng off many tougts. ras gog troug a rss w only woes m n rlato to t Last Two Months as I drad te enronment tat mgt b rat by r trfr a my reato (dsapar a) to t. It wll all om out toug. It does ras nterestng roblms, ag a wif o t at, a maks t qute dfcult at tms. I must trat r as a sistr, but er agors are orowrg somtms. Orato kt to. 1 July
Brougt almost to snagot n t Oratory ts nng by nosy ogs, truly to sagpot - followd by a sort fod of flgs about ow my rsonal ronment s out only to frustrat ts Orato. Now ool, but t stuaton was su tat I rals t atual stra o myslf durng t oratons. Dear Lord, forbd su ntrfer, I beg you. ras as rad rsspot ad s akg out I must and a oly st bak a allow ma ad t at to tak ts due ours. If s oly a t ys to s, sd se my l and te symaty - but t wol limax a rss s to ga tos yes a tat so. S wll mrg sortly. Ad m I kow otng I am otig. (By this stage the strain tha I was uner was beginn ing to be felt by Franes She also ws in the isoienting position of being in
90
he Mie wo Months
a eationship in which I ha sueny, in a few months, gone om being a inteesting an ubane expoe of consciousness to a fanatica occutist/mystic She as aso expeiencing the theat of a the maevo ent enegies I was incapabe at the time of oving popey o ofgiving he pope cae an aection I saw ony the shaow aspect of he beviou an no unetaning o compassion fo he situation) Operaon kep o 2 J uly
For ome me now have been meanng o ummare ceran hg: feelg or pon forgo o wre erhap do oday becaue am uffcenly bore or perhap he mddle of an unkno me Fly, ome relavely mundane hng n abou he econd week of January, France an no longer praye ogeher forgo o menon h, bu nce ha me he ha prayed daly on her own, o ha al very good an no worry Abou exerorg (going consciousy ou t of my boy) h ha defely been pu off a no very mporan b a he momen coul prove very dangerou for me becaue woul come uner aack from hoe force whch wll be placed under my auhoy a he end of e Operaon; o c hould no exerore n have oal ahory over he Aral nhab an have one no (exteioisation) exerce a all nce begnng he Operaon ha would have been oo much ake everyhg ha happenng and ha happened very much for grane only f calmly look back ha am fle wh a wner a he oal coherence of he ah an he rack ha le o e canno approach eranng Go n any way, bu dare o ay a know e ove, om and Juce of H emanaon, a when fnally e my face, m and hear o Hm, He envelope me H energy o how he ah The way we lef hoe an he way he book were choen he way n whc we foun Here The way everyhng wa prepare for h Opera on; my whole le cog o exac pon he proecon and love hown me he rengh a wa gven me durng he wo aemp on my le an he oher aack One day w know he pa ha alow h reen There have been no eacher, only book an H love, an H Meenger Tha may be o onoured o crawl ou of my ae by H wll Alo, mu menon he balance of he Occult aga he ycm They have wae hand-nhand, hough a h pon
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I ook only to my iberation and what I may then go back to learn My beration - is that a reality? Where am now? know not Sometimes I fee that at the end of these six months I wl be aowed to sta the Path of Aspirans - and at other times - now - I ook to liberation in the fu knowledge of its fu and heavy meaning. (By Path of Aspian ts I mean the ve beinnin of a conscious appoach to spiitua tansfomation My own fantasy past makes me look to that End - am I right? I know not. It is al in other hands is it not? he Operation itsef can I think be brought to successul uition by a discipe of the hird Initiation and therefore any initiaton above that I beieve that the actual process of it is taking me higher - again I know not in fact. hrough osmic Fie I begin to understand the forces that I wi be alowed to contro; when I began I had no idea at a If the progress of the lastthreeandahaf months is urther paraeed then I may expect great thigs?). It goes without saying that I am sti an abysmal sinner in vanit separateness and sefremembrance Very occasionay my astra is interferesome; my physical as regards cigarettes now five a day but none by 1 uy) and food; my ower menta more equenty; my higher mental neary continuously But my monad is begin ning to exert a control that I can consciously feel and sense and this wil grow and deveop unti there is no argument at all - Unity!! od wiing. What a oke though - me! and everything here and that has been previousy felt and thought But then again the unwriteable truths of everything and responsibiity. About these thngs sha not write - it not needed - they are written everywhere higher languages which one day a w under sand here is however a great weight in the tings that I cannot say the aoneness of some of it. he vision that cannot be shared though one day a wi see. But above me is comfort and learning. For today - I live two ives one in the Oratory and one outside it. hey are totay and competely split. But I feel that they are cong graduay (very gaduay) together. Aso now I am perhaps beginning to reap from al that pain and horror I ght see the end of the tunne and suddeny am appy. For how ong? Is it reaity? Sti I know nothing. Operation kept to. 3 ly
A day of much environmenta tension volving a slght attack on me - sight? Perhaps I know now beter how to cope as in reaity
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hr is i cp wih as m mnad is hard invvd in ar) prhps da an envirnmena clmax Anwa I am wring wrds craig cam r he as w mnhs prain ep 4 ly
Moin) Am suddenly mvd b the hugh ha as I sgge reas ms al m a lusin, my ie i Maa the Hinu wo fo iusion') durg s ncarnan has brught me man happ mmens - and pung aside he srugge r he h - ie pan r ad memries Srange, hs uches me dp his evenig (5 pm) n her exercises, Frances encunered a gr ar crain advice rm me, she awd him reappar A Chis(?) gure, whm I as saw and sp wih shr I biv prhaps he Maser DK hmse (??) came hep rancs g gehr e is vr beaui her s mr his Whavr, w ar a exreme graeu Francs wi chang ver h nx ew das r Reeain this amost two ecaes ate I am supise by how casuay I escibe it. Fances sueny encoun tee a ue in the aen a shimmein ue who appeae an then isappeae because of he nevousness . I hepe he to eax an fee safe, an the ue ppeae in tota caity befoe us in the aen. It seeme to be the ibetan teache Djwah u. He ha come expessy to comt Fances an to hep he ea with the whoe situation. He manifeste to us fo two o thee minu tes, a cam an ovin eney, soothin an heain the situation . He then isappeae into thin ai, just as he ha manifeste in the st pace. I fet enomous eief an comt at his pesence An the situation fo Fances bean to fee somewhat bette. ) Ms, am si preparig r he cg bae, shapening wapns, assssig mre and mre he nem, mse r, man hans and bessngs prain p 5 ly
I nicd vr car day, b a rp i wn, hw eas i is r h higher mena bservain be alms a disrienaed and ha is not say hat i is rqueny rienaed I is srang hw I apprach he as w Mnhs n a smiar ashn h wa which I apprached the bginng he perain Bu he
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total peace and stability that is so absolutely needed must be prepared for without that peace (partly environmental, but mainly to do with being continuously in a s tate of meitation , I shall be foutu. (Fench venacula fo useless .) Continuously in a state of meita tion' is the essential key, powered by intense will, desire an love, that wi brin, God willing, liberation As always, I am curently writing nothing of the spirital concepts and truths that I am leag: either they cannot or shoul not be written, or else they have aleay been writen elsewhere. Whom do I wish to bore? Oneanahalf hour's reading only, but six hours yesterday Operation kept to 6 ly
The buildup continues, but with it also progress in nowledge, if nothing else. Have finished osmic Fie which I shall read again with notes, having rst reread osmic Doctine The Master DK is truly most beautil and to Him and His writings owe much gratitude y head stil bus/pops occasionaly: I tink tis occurs when I am being radioactive' as that would be the exit for te revamped pana I shall experent, but I also ave a tought - this minute - that I must always or sometimes (wich?) use my third eye to dect this would not seem correct if 'bathng te Mother in Love' but for other agic, perhaps most cetainly so. (is is a ve obscue passae. I was, in fact, leanin how to consciously iect the ieent eneies in my boy an also how to ate these eneies into the wol aoun me. I was also leanin when it was appopiate simply to su ene myself an bathe my mothe my boy in love.) I told Frances what may occur in the future We shall see. I repeat that I continue preparation for these nal Two Moons Operation kept to 7 ly
The process continues Am leang, seeing more. In the Oratoy this evening I see how to affect people by communicating irectly with their Soul (and perhaps diluting the opposing sheafs (of thei pesonality vehicles) Also, something psycic/pysical occurred which I do not comprehend a feeling, never previously expei enced, of great heat I do not know at all - very disorientating, totally shakng (my boy) but bringing no new openg - similar in novelty to the epileptic t But my assessment at the time was
9
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itrbed by exteal noise. stuying an taking notes om osmic Doctine already seeing somewhat Operation kept to (so at end of oration was visite by heavies' who have iffity now in heaing me. tee hee ) han Go. P.S. (Hafanhou ate in e) It sudenly ruly awns on me what a beautifully powerful thing I leaed today powerful and apable ony of great good Al Praise. 8 ly
t ontinues Toay overshaowe by a vow never to smoke another igarette; the physiallowerastral reation is quite am gy tremendous I am helpe by Franes doing similarly, but fear she' have a rougher time. ysel, I am tly ashame, an initiate wothrds thogh this Sared eration, to be in this sitation. am efein hee to the usiness of thinin mysef to e an occut initiate ut ein in a state ecause I'm stoppin smoin) Operation kept to 9 ly
The preparation ontinues, but toay is totaly overshaowed by the ack of niotine though I don't think ths psyhophysical reation will ast long I id not however, o two hours' reaing toay as I only pulled myse together this evening, but I id six hours yesterday Food intake has also been heaviy ut down over the last week - no eggs or cheese, hardly any dinner. Operation kept to 0 ly
(Moin) Last nght, through my sleep, amazing things both feengs an oncepts that I hardly remember and fail to grasp now. What stans out most is at one point : staning on the ege of the Universe, feeling tota iss an feeling tat I, out here, was the reator I, then (not surprisingly at this tie, eh?) was fright ened by the sensation and retue outwars to safer ground (pm) The rest of toay dominated by nicotine withdrawal, cmax ing with a stupenous retu performance of itte e finaly emerging to pathetically protest Franes' horrible behaviour (yes) over ast four months. I think that that is the ast we have seen of him, but presently and in parallel I despair of Franes in connec tion with the next two months (see 0 June) If she suks' as I enter
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9
the other state, state, it will not be be good for her her - and it seems now tht there is nothing that I an do to help and, it must be remembered, a far supeior visitor has also been to try and influene with little effet. We shall shall see. I'm sure it will be all right. right... . faiy obiou ob iouss hee that I am pojecting my icuties at stopping smoing on to Fances.) Operation kept to. 1 1 ul u ly
I hardly wish to write write this. Folowing Folowing yesterday, the young master made a multuous multuous re performane mainl the ontined fae of Franes' obsttion That is definitely s last appearane, but even this shameful period holds its lessons. As regards my wife wife - this this is magic - I give it a few more days to see whether whether it is viable viable or not. May God forgiv forgivee this present state. Operation kpt to to 1 2 u ly ly
Everythg Everythg relatively normal, normal, but the preparation ontinues. ontinue s. Also, Also , muh is being leat and, as I stop st op to look aly, I see that this is a utful utful and eduatively eduatively heavy ime, ime , as was the end of April April (I think Franes may be oming under her ontrol we shall see.) Now I wish wis h to rega rega my love and al, al, and then to be One Operation kept to 1 3 u ly ly
(Moning) A very heavy night last night ( ! ) inluding inludin g a batl batl with some astral fiend that was onneted with Franes. It is, I hope, now ompletely banished I am a m totally exhauste, another prob lem being that with with no niotine and eating less, a superharge of energy energy is oming omin g through through to me but is not evenly balaned an an is onentating on my saral entre (the chaa associate with the epouctie ogans.). I must find a way of raising it. (Aenoon) Agan, I am struk by what is being leaed and felt sparks overed in a series of sheafs myself espeially, and there fore learer vision of my weakness and wikednes wikedness' s'.. feel, feel, thogh, that one I'm over this psyhophysial disomfort, the homerun homer un to first base (!!) may begin This may all be premature but it fills me with aniipatory aniipatory joy and bliss. (Franes is almost there, but not quite.) Operation kept to.
9
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1 4 ly ly
A lastflight lastflight lunchtme bnge, complete complete wth cgar c gar ow what can say? The Th e grating of beng beng to apart so s qute nerveracng and of mmense stran but no pe se panl panl ot panful, as a glow of lght s seen at the end of the tnnel about whch fear to wrte for fear fear of dsspatng energy that wll take take me there But the essence essenc e of he matter s that bzarre and contnuos medtaton that recognzes the ' that am and that sees through the varous keels to ulmately bu through them and"transfor and "transform m them nto nt o a suitable vehicle The stran s holdng that medtaton; medtaton ; the stran s not holdng t; t s s all stran stran - but eseve and shortly shall ncrease the pressure as much as can. Ths gradual approach s, thnk, work workg g well. know nothing Operation kept to - oh, m m takg takg a bro and paper to be wth me to ot own thngs th ngs that are happenng educatonwse educatonwse can be awake suffcently. The last three nghts have been been replete wth lessons whch absorb( absorb(?) ?) but taes pace in the conscously forget (Much tchin an eucation taes am state; most of it is absobe an inteate subconsciousy; sometimes thee is y conscious consci ous awaeness of of the essons ) 1 5 ly ly
am really not at all certan what what s hapening hapeni ng around me and n my reactons This evenng, a concerted environmental environmen tal symphony to stop my prayer (he in of symphony I am ein ein to incue incu e os howin a aoun, oneys bayin, cuious ocas wain too cose to the oato an so on; pus a eat ea of neativity in the atmosphe atm osphee; e; pus my own ba ba moos.) moos .) Operaton kept to. 1 6 ly ly
The leadn continues and how toruous t s; the duality s llg the threats are heavy. For a few days now have been meanng to menton something for the sake of someone/ anyone nto whose hands ths dary may fall Conceng ths Operaton, t s n human terms the most tough and frghtening experence possble; apart from courage, t requres a sprtual ntelgence to prevent nevtable sedestcton. f anyone consders performng t, most heavily advse them to medtate upon t for at least twelve months beforehand beforehand before swearng the oath to t o carry on through t As may be gathered, am fdng t heavy gong at the moment. have seen so much (or so lttle) but b ut am not able to be t, but must
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7
be patient. patient. I t is very hard at the moment; moment; from one extreme extreme t o t other (in truth) And two months more; ah, I have thes two months to do it, God willing God, what a pathetic creature I am before you. peration peration kept to. 1 7 ly ly
Today has been too, too horrible; a movie of the worst way I coud cou d possiby possib y behave at the moment, mome nt, cuinatig in shaving my hea . The moon is two days ull. t wil all pass, but am filed with pain and most terible terible shame. How, knowig knowig al that I kow, abe of a that I am able, could descend to behaving like this? No envion menta pressure of even the most extreme kd provides an excuse excu se and yet I find myself sming as I write this. May I be forgiv. peration peration kept to - I should menton the incredible incredible torret torret of energy, mostly astralized, that is pouring through me t t moment. No sleep last night or the night before. before. Today, letter letter sent to J to initiat him - God g . ( beiee that a ien of mine min e was was abou t to ente upon the spiitua path an tht my ette to him wou hep tie tie him in to tain the st s ts) ts ) 18 ly
I thk this bad (horrible) tme is coming to an end I shal see. ce it has uly ended and I have found an isl of stength and am withi myself, myself, then shal push myself realy realy hard. hard . At the momn m omntt not all is perfectly under control as it should b and there is, therefore, no point poin t i tying to push on and make thngs/ thng s/ me worse than I am aeady I must mentio the swallows in the valley who put on such amazing amazi ng flights; flight s; I am extremely grateu to to them for not ony hv they entertained me with their bizarre aeronautic bauty, but t are the ony cosmic physical form to whom I have been ab to relate easily easily and break this aloneness. On the radio last nght nght th have finally finally found an astronomc astronomc Black Black Hoe Hoe i spa spae e th, according to the astronomers, astronomers, does not put pu t paid to the big bang theory but indicat ind icates es that a unverses will be magnetically / gravitationaly pulled back within themselves, ater whic ter wl be a further big bang' and o a innit Heavns! s! ! innitum um.. Good Heavn May the Lord forgive my vanity and weakness. Tly. peration kept to
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1 9 July ehng tha have not, srangely, mentoned abou e las few es s ha am totally exhaused, mentally and physically. is f some fo of normalty enrgyws that am waing before n off e brakes hn?? The other daly sndrome uniy s ore of a reality aer wang, and dualiy becomes more aren and panful as he day goes on - necessary, thoug my eaness. Last nght, a most beautul period of supeme ran scendence which confrmed all aspraons (i mong would ave sad knowledge) n he ratory his evening, a one pon he age of Saturn and he nforation a am of the Trd Ray do not undrsand or know weher o take seriously Frances now setting up protcv barriers round house. Operaion kep to 20 July
(orning Tomorrow mong begns te Last Two Moons. will now ray hree tmes a day at dawn, befor lunc and a sunse. ashng beforehand, wll wear the we ln robs for te orations and th lamp wll alwas b aligh, and there will b ere on he censer he prayr now changes slghly nd frstly ye shall ae Confesson of all your sns; after this, h a very aden prayer, ye shall enreat he Lord to accord uno ou he partcular grace, whch is, hat you may enjoy and b able endure he prsence and convrsaton of Hs Holy Angels, and a e may deign by her inermsson to gran unto you he Secre Wsdom, so tha you may be able to have dominon over he rs and over all creatures . Also towards he end of your ration, ye sall pray unto the oly Angels, supplcang the o bear yur sacrice befor th ce of God, n order to nercde for you, and ta hey sall assis yo n all your operations during these wo oons You sall shun all socey excpt ha of your wfe and servants. Ye shall employ he greatest par of your time in peaking of h aw of God, and n readn suc works as rea wisely hereof. (ernoon Today has been of a great cange - a greater livng of e vson; someow a more crtain nowledge of everying But s so srange tha as hnk ahea o that wic sense and will e he ruh, am overcome wih shame and guilt; am ddenly afrad of even darng o thin of that as possible; shall eer punshed for conemplag , snner tha am, a silk purse
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out of a sows ear? Even as I remember William at the age of nine in school prayers, knowing himsel to be what he now hardly dares to think Lord, I, this sinner, knw nothing orgive me if my vanity blasphemes you Part o all this sparked of by the Master DK: Occult irritation is iction the last fetter which the Master casts off is irritation The personality no longer attracts attention friction therefore ceases ' For how long may one be irritated? Weeks, months, years, incaations? know nothing Operation kept to
H wo MH ing and Nn ye shll wash yur hands and yu face n entering the Orat; and rstly ye shall make Cessin f l yur sis; aer this, with a ve ardent prayer, ye shall eneat the Lrd t accrd unt yu this particular grace, which is, that yu may enjy and be able t endure the presece and cnversatin f His Hly Angels, and that He may dei by their inteissin t nt unt yu the Secret Wisdm, s that yu may be able t have dminin ver the Spirits and ver all creatures Ye shall d this same at middy befre dining and als in the evenig; s that duing these last Mns ye shall perf the prayer three mes a day Furthere, ye shall have a Vest and unic f linen, which ye shll put n eve te that ye enter int the Orat, befre ye cence t put Perme i the Censer "
From the nstructons (See es
the Sacred of the
102
The Final Tw nth
21 July
ntrstng sornaton, rayng at noon as w Dualty sr I am not wr I a bn an tat s t knowlg tat mtaton must be ontnuously l. T swallows ar swfts: ty ar rsnts an a an ar ratng mu joy an tanks (By nw my main uce f elaxatin an amuement wa t it n the f f u hue an watch the ay wallw eing taught hw t y They all live in a net aut ten feet away > An now, as four oons ar or an two bgn, ow an I bgn to tank an wonr at t Lor wo as l an rot m, an wom I a worm y t gra of H og knnss a ar to arss I It s ry strang somts an st wt oaona batan far, an mu waknss. I dar not know or tnk anytng, ar I Oraton kt to 22 July
I am larng a grat al sunly an I stuy an sarat I from I Toug r a most trrl an awf wak worm bfor H Oraton kt to 23 uly
Erytng s almng somwat nlung rans T ualty s saarng slgty as I ralz sunly toay tat 'I am t balan btwn t rsonalty tat was 'llam an t soul or mona art am I Not qut rtan I also know tat wt ts larnng an sln an s, I lost sgt tat all tat ts allows m to o s o aroa an lo Go mor I am r t ngrafl an bln an an worm. Oraon kt to
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24 u l
Screaming duality today caused by my emotional reaction to my wife But (my cus of consciousness) am here
perhaps -if know for certain what the two triangles are and, more exactly, what that pot is owever, the upper point is one with whom - when can or make myself listen and hear - am commencing a true relationship, and have begged it, I, to take over ow can ? it replies, the vehicle is not ready Behave an (put into) order your astral (emotiona ene) concerning your wife and mediate environment and perhaps sha descend And then also , me that is, keep tearing self over whether that point at the centre of the hexagram is soul, personality, mental ut or what? And whether the voice is objective when depressed? Soul, or when, elated, cock? know nothing and am abysmal before im ts all this talk of nitiation by the Tibetan whose real name is aster Djwahl ul (A joke Wliam Bloom is dead onsieur WhizBang rules instead) Oh Lord Operation kept to As an addendum should note at the moment that am filed with a supercharge of exteal energy (almost totally analogous to previous experiences with drug LSD but no disorientation) 25 u l
The bliss and the horrors y personalit I tnk, rules I vainly thought it was dead Still, have a shaow hope that a this hoor is not om my personality but elsewhere am lost, confused and stupid should be worshipping our Lord and thinkng of nothing lke this, may He forgive me (Reading Esoteic Astoo under standing very little) Fantasy land and me e Who? Oh Lord Operation kept to But its moving pretty high energy and am ver grateful 26 u l
contue to not understand what is happening Again, it is the strangest heaviest period ever ts all, think to do with wiping out my personality think know and understand nothng at this oment But nothg in it worries me n act the opposite - thogh I become hourly more aware of my sinfulness in vanit and
0
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arrogance before Hm The oraton ths evenng was stange, but I don't know why ho am I vtng down? soul or monad? Why am so pathetc and wea before m? Why so many grand words but separatst wanderngs? All ths - the problem wth which we (who?) shall deal bvously ths s all an ntaton of sorts - whch? I don't know - second, thrd or fourth r frst or a quarter Really, conson, an must forget all ths and just be a channel for is Love But the peraton tsel is somethng else Grant unto me Lord The Secret isdom Qegn to let me have Domnion over sprts and all Creatures Let me enjoy and endure the conversaton of the most oly Angels' ll by is ll Two ps? Strength - weakness I must calm to work ths out I can acheve great calm But in t I know notng though the state s blssful - know nothng of what s happeg, but am more sophstcated and wse than ever before It s a sange And I am a feeble wrm Operaton kept to (An hou an a haf ate) I th ths tawdry prod has reached a clmax Somethng has burst thn Perhaps I am over a hump (Frances certanly s she can hold t -whch she wi For myse, we shall see tomorrow and shrtly I should calmly suare all that has actually been happenng - f I know t! ? Thans and all Prase to Hm that He allows we worms to exst 27 Juy
A concerted environmental attempt tday t ttally dspt the peace by servants, etc, and peace was dsrupted for a few hours (he oca famiy who cae fo the aen, an whose son we empoye to hep us, ive two hune yas away an wee havin a ve noisy ow.) God willing, today s the clmax and it s fnshed so I may contemplate all recent events peraton kept to (I myself am over the hump whch one, though?) 28 Juy
Tonight the cax and the lesson leat It came about through the plea of the oraton Suddenly I understood - I, that which has descended nto the Three wrlds, pulng bac up (Yesterday evenng I had decded to take off the brakes if ths was what I was
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supposed to be doing, then do it totay n the daytime, today, tota spit disorientation) now must push push push om:
to:
With this niation, now know what am doing Even the ower iangle has ageed that it is time to help' - we are working out our reationship n the Oratory, it was clear Samadhi dg which was able to understand and see a this othing can stop me now -notng, for know where beong f He designs to l it The God Our ord is apowerfu and it is ony by His ecy and Gace that am at al, et aone have arived here He has oy to ook away and our Cosmos woud die What use then has He for us nitiates and Co? one, except within the terms of His purpose which none of s can ever approach and understand We exist - a Hierarchy, everythg by His Kind Grace and amag toe ance Today am much graced in His ove May it ow to A and One in everytng unto His Glory Eveything is adoation unto Him Now must bu through, if He so deigns to accept this womly sacrice Ty n this Universe am nothing and this feeling tansmutes itsef to this early ife -perhaps am and ow nothing at al and it is deusion o matter, as long as may not be sepaate He is the ocean and if we may be drops to fa ito it, we ae much honoured Operation kept to 29 u ly
do not realy want to write this as am not at a cetain what is happening Al day have been al right, knowing that st remai quiet and look ever up (thanks to the I Chin which was/ is truly the answer This evening in the Oratoy, things and feeings that do not understand, energies that continue now am merging with perhaps? (e ' of my pesonaity with the ' f my sou) don't know and words heard that coud ony be incoect so, whence did they come? Christ's name (Diary stops as a toad waks in through the door) (We wee oen visite by toas om the
0
he Fina wo Months
ive but this was the ony time that one actuay hoppe thouh the oo) The toad feaked me Good Heavens what is happening? Obviously it is best to wite no moe until I undestand y faith in His mecy though a slight feeling that I tust nothg nothing at all At this pont? Obviously it is best Opeato kept to (One hou ate) The outcome of all the above being that I was allowed to appea to Faces Was I? Will she tain the vision? (y these ins of statements meant that thouht Fances cou peceive me in my spiitua potentia.) And me? What am I actually doing? (Duin this whoe peio was ovewheme by my inne uaity move between two expeiences of consciousness. n one am tanspesona competey awae an pesent n the othe am y ientie with my thouhts an my pesonaity As we as bein two ieent states of consciousness they ae aso two compeey ieent eney expeiences. e ieence between them was exteme an was appin to n the techniques an winess to ho me in my tanspesona s tate) 30 July
The whole of the peceding totuous peio is ove and have emeged Funnily the Tibetans Esoteic Astooy he efes to this as one of the tests tough Scopio eoients hself to the oa and passes though most subtle tests to cetain indeinable and spitual ecognitios Tough eve a sinul wo befoe Ou Lod I dae now to know wh I am and I dae to say tat the wost is ove Now to hold my eyes eve upwads until the time comes Afte that I ca have no concept As always new tings beg leaned new visions of lving and His gandeu New oientation and adjustment needed Tuly moe paise unto Him than is pible I have had to sepaate myself fom my wife because f ou behaviou and will emai so I thik until afte the Opea tio (Fances an began to seep in sepaate ooms.) (I suld have mentioned about five weeks ago that I stoppe saying the Los Paye as I had enough on my plate) No matte how fa we each always always we aspe highe This is the Law I must lea Opeation kept to
e Fina wo Months
7
ul Despie all ha has passed, i does no ge any easier Anoher round of bale begs - again, one in which I do no undersand wha is happening Also, unporan, I have a bad ulcer on he lef side of my mouh, wich on lef of nose ad a few days ago had lef eardrum rouble Answer?? Too much sudying of asrology wih noes, sucking energy fro anasic Lef Eye??? (ve activity of the e hemisphee of the bain .) Operaion kep o ugust Grea rushes of energy and oheess Frequen physical caa leps, especially across my forehead I am no rying hard enough o hold my head clear in he ligh, bu hen again I don' reall kow wha I am doing Glee, hen orure The Maser DK(?) appeared again o Frances ad said ha he is wachig over us I am more graeful han can be imagined The curren ime is ruly he mos ineresing ever wa one migh call a compleely new dension in livg I am being more flip han I mean o be Operaion kep o 2 ugust
A grea, grea deal is happening - from he sublime o he idicu lous and back again Firsly, a mos amazing amoun of nergy is pouring hrough me which I can approximae o he rush' ha heralds an SD rip, bu ha has coinued now for ome days Secondly, Frances conued her misbehaviour oday and I viru ally bea her up which, o be exac, nally seems o have done he rick (I nee to cai what hppene hee. At the time Fances an I wee su oune an totay isoientate by the foce of enegy aoun us. is was a ve ea an tangibe enegy e. Anyone ese who came nea us physicay wou immeiatey begin to sweat. Neithe Fances no I showe ou fear, but occasionay sippe into hysteica sceaming at each othe. On this occasion we actuay got into a physica stugge an at one point I threw he om me on to the oo. e ooe at each othe in tht strange atmosphere an sueny entee a state ofcompete etachment om eything that was happening. It was a moment of pue zen satoi, of eaity sueny becoming cea. e pause an notice it. Fances foun the moment extaorina an inteesting, an fogave the vioence. In many ways ou ght was simpy an easing of tension . ese many yeas ate, howeve, I am sti embaasse by my
18
he Final wo Months
pomposity an self-ighteous attitue to he potaye in the ia.) 1 also ave leat muc rom te episode Tirdy, 1 am being persuaded tat exteriorisation (taing my consciousness consciously out of my boy) is now an portant ting to do ourty, te left an side of my ace is in a mess, and a stomcace and many mosquito bites 1 realised wat 1 ad to o tis fteoon and actually drew tis on my ar
•
Tis worked Ten te Ortory tis evening te only place were everyting is normal te same ting tat occurred to me at te beginning o te Operation (wen 1 was glowing in my vainglorious innocence) struck me: tat I must make all tese sensations absolutely normal in my lie an continue onwards At te moment tat almost elicits a ysterical giggle No 1 joke Anay and so sinning ever ore terribly in my eakess, my vanity and my fears 1 continue Operation kept to 3 ugust
rom ecstasy to te verge of te aumatic and ysterical paranoia and lunacy and ten back agai It is not possible to put all tis in to wors wic would be diectly understandable or useul Extremes Extremes o joy and bliss, and also extremes o fear, o standing alone srieking on te edge of space troug wic one will loat into innity, tortured by every conceivable reality Truly extremes but always ere his ust be te 'dark nigt o te soul (toug joke one seems to go troug it every few monts or so) Ten tis evening, a vision of strengt as Hs servant as must one of His Angels be so His Son must stand strong and calm, praying only and directly to Him, wile witin one screams and twists but is eld claustropobically down ut He sees all and in tat is te only strengt and solution 1 am one moment cocky stil, te next a worm ever sing, not knowing wat to do, ding no advice 1 can understan (I do not compreend te Ching any more
e Fina wo Months
1 9
or perhaps I do not want to) I now nothing and understand notg about how am being needful thrown and tossed about lie a puppet, as watch approvigl ?) I'm stil here, thoug - is that a problem? Operation ept to (3 August continue) have just reread what I thew on the hing and perhaps - perhaps on - I insult both it and mself put forward this picture of an hsteric beig buffeted and tossed as he - I - stumbles along the Path - and this is true - BU, I do so b own choice and b m own actions, and I dare to sa that despite m sins and wormhood, progress ever da in vision, under standing and m abilit to serve Certainl, da b da, becoe more of a worm before i, but it is I who a so leaing and willing it And I am less of than before peraps He needs me not, though, and I exist, as do we all, b is grace and tolerance, and it is b that grace that I ma be allowed to raise mself With thans I have a previousl unexperienced pain in the head, but over the last few das there have been man previousl unexperienced happengs Again, Operation ept to Frances iitiated all) (I sueny peceive Fances to b e behaving in a competey new an oving way o, at east, one that suite me) 4 gst
Until this period is over hardl thin it worthwhile to and describe what is occurrig but it is siilar to esterda), as I a not at all certain Rereadig this diar, it seems as tough it hasn' t stopped for a good four months Al praise to im Operation ept to 5 st
Sar to esterda Yet aga, m relationship with Frances is a problem do we shame ourselves so? What sort of pla is it?) I thn, however, that might be emerging f I ever do, shal to explain Operation ept to 6 g st
he energ contiues - but now Biss As ever, I am watchig to be certa When am, shall write it in here But received from the
e Fina Two Months
110
I hing exagam 1 The Ceatie with the fih line chaning, which hae long deamed of And befoe i, am still the geatest wo must elate upwads and exteioise is worth quoting a few phrases om that rst hexagram which is tite The reative: e creative wors subime success e movement ofheaven is of power. us the superior man maes himsef strong an untiring Then the h changing ine says: Fying ragon in the heavens. It rther one to see the great man ) Oeatio kept to 7 ugust
thik that ma ow dae to wite sensib' about the last week o, to be moe exact, the last peiod t is impossible fo me to pinoint quite when it began not to be flip, but onl semiseious, one ight sa at the age of seven / eight. At an ate the supe suge of wtelight' eeg began seen das ago to ceate its effects fo this nitiatio am not cetain whethe that eneg belongs uel to the itiation o whethe it is unde m domin ion pemanentl do ot wish in an wa to lose it t is most gloious and beautiful, and ipossible to descibe except b sensatio though aoe who has exeienced LSD and been tough what is called the white light gh might undestand Awa, now as awas a time of eadjustment and leag and assessing On 24 ul wote that was thee
-
now occup the upe tiangle and tie is spent in gentl shushing the lowe tiangle until it is quietened completel. am being as caeful as can be Ove the last six das was not ee capable of eading (wel, onl twothids of Dantes Inferno and it was tul a most uncotollable expeience but with geat heights of biae ecstas about which must no longe be so innocent t is beautl how these ccles of leang appoxiate exactl at each highe tu of the spial At the end of the oatio ts eening, a hea of sots isited, showing that must suel etun to nomal capacit fo cool behaiou with the eeg now assing though me) As the I hing so succinctl put it afte esteda: exagam 23 Splitting Apat with the fist fie nes changing The Opeation as a whole now makes pefect sense and feel ighteous in demanding the favou and Gace that ask of ,
e Fina wo Month
11
though I be ever a worm I shall not push exteriorising as the correct time will be when it happens for a truly useful purpose, which I imagine to be after Intation Five or Liberation whe one must be le, the humble aspirant, to the hite Loge at Sirius, as described by the aster DK Agin, I feel nervous every time I are to actuay think or state where I may be no, but am a hite agician and I have now appered - though I am ever a wormlike aspirant tht is allowed to exist by His lovig, kindness an tolerance Operation kept to 8 gst
Last night, before or as I dropped of to sleep, a great sucking blast of whte light that quite frightened me and I tue away from it lke a paranoid dog wch wnot look to a wellmeanig mans eyes Then, this morning, itense sacral activity whch I di not control Then I read a passage by the aster D.K about whether the aspirant is strong enough to contiue also the I hing sai, irreparable amage So I have started putting the whip hevily across myself agan I must take no notce of the lower triangle i the
whch i my weakness I watch n take great an 'silly notice of simiarly this lower trigle must truly become a oving and perfect reflection of the upper so that there is no ction I have seen lso extremely clearly a bizarre an horrible vnity and arrogance in myself which has and is shaming me most terribly before Him Though wht I now say might also be vanity, I feel that I can get over n through it I am truly tryg as esperately (almost) s I can The rel point is that I must keep my Taurin ( am in fact an Aquaian focus ever up unto Him this, the case, I cannot sin But at this moment I am too pathetically weak and feeble an some times scare to look up all the tie and not to hear that voice below that squeaks up at me That voice must be mae 'loving and lovable as well I spend some time experientig with exteori ation -unsuccessfully -which is not very important, as I see how easy it will be at Liberation I must learn an correct myself careflly But the incredible bss of His love! Operation kept to
e Final wo Months
1 12 9 ugust
Aa last niht three to four hours of blastin enery which do not understand properly The day a strain as truy see the separateness of the lower trianle and my attention focused on it Te disorientation is occasionally lead to paranoia - about which I am lea would like to be throuh this period Three words keep echo throuh me Satu and Christ
D��0�<-*=
2
3
4
5
seem to be always slippin om (5) to (3). I am ndin it all quite ard at the moment -but desevedly so if am to proress (that is the first time that I have ever written that unhappiy) Operation kept to 0 gust
t is difcult to write anythin The process continues but the eneries and the concepts are very subtle elatin or nerverack in At times feel vibrantly strong ad warriorlike - physicaly able to live a ood semimillennium The Tibetans books are naturaly without equal as they are the ierarchys Teachis and of reat import to me (Hieachy in this context is a wo sometimes use to escibe the inne invisible wol of peecte humans an libeate beins.) They are educatin me esterday understood the tue mystey of sex and how strane that I should have missed te point for so lon (Joke A master is in a perpetual state of Bi - is that too vular? Forive me) But that I think is the truth of raising the unalini enery from the base of the spine to the head cente may be doin that anyay for at the moment my mai preoccupation is with rabbin rampant personality traits or emotions and tansmutin them immediately to spiritual en ery The slihtest trait must be cauht and chaned Ts is te true poit is it not? To be lberated one must be the Perfect an One is not yet the Perfect an God win one may all be Operation kept to (Five minutes late) Oratory toniht at a pot of intense concentation and transmutation which cented in forehead felt mor electic shock Whether it was hostile benevolent or self
e Final wo Months
1 13
iduced as I ad ive miutes earlier ad a aught tougt about someoe disturbg m raer - whc was why I was i tese state) I do ot kow - but it made me react i stregt as toug bitte b a gat I ow othig, as ever, ad m bea iour sames me 1 1 ug us
A ew eelig, uderstadig, isio irstl is Wll as alwas courtes o te Tbetas Teachigs) Secodl, msel a severe case o amesia out o wich I am slowl wakig Who? I kow ot, but Will, WiseLoe, Itelligece is the essece, terered with b the ersoalit that I have cked u sice I lost m memo ow ma ears? 43 or 777?), thoug I eo its umour Wat to do excet watch ad wait? I I could rememer ad kow wo I tl am ad wat I am suosed to be doig, te tere would e otig to write But I am ot erect, am I? Ad that must be te ub o the matter I kow otig about all ts et, but I tik/ eel almost a times ow I am I ut me itereres ad I am too weak to avoid t/ me A duo, a bodguard o asties Orator ts eeg: I am, b is Grace, rsig aove them A cotiuatio, i at, o extremes tat lead eer closer to usio, rom shame to wsdom, rom weakess to will B is Grace Oerato ket to 1 2 ugus
Strage - all da I elt as though, i a wa, I was takig a olida No great strai or eergies Occasioal questog o ietit ad idetiig wit tat ewess Te, ts eveg, the wole alle is gre ad I eel ost eavil treateed - threateed, ot righteed Te trut eg, toug I have hardl dared write it earlier, tat te weater i te valle is totall related to me or ice versa - to, I suose, a most startlg degree whic I ave take casuall) What cocers me most aout tis thrat is tat t itereres wit m oriso, as I am aware o It ad, durg te oris, m total ad comlete vsio sould be othig ut uward - whc shows that I si i darig to ear tis aa (illuso) treat more tha I ear te realit o s Glor At the momet I am lvig iside ts treat ad ca do otg ut wait I eel quite calm ad cel resiged to athig, eelig calm i m awareess o teso ad tat eras I ca rse aoe any treatTe aga, I ma e movig ackwards, slg ito
1 1
he Final wo Months
the warm ung an not knowing . hichever, sn feebly before Him an am weak an pathetic an cocky n my shame for al that am rereang Cosmic Fie of which am now unerstanng 80 per cent(?). Operaton kep o. 3 ugust
Almost forgot to wre onight. Las ghs threat sappeare this mong and put the whip across my back aain (semcontu ous concentraton/ meation, semfastng) with mmeate ef fects: rush of energy an two searing momens of ualty which approache total parano hystera, bu all over an calm now think this afternoon was n emieteriore meaton. was greete' by two sheaves of silver light - am not sure. But o be certan although lea ever more about my true vanity, weak ness an suess, yet feel here is some progress beng mae but that, too, s vanty am a ba behaver yet. Operation kept o. 4 ugust
Progress, perhaps, an sinfulness. A sory (funny perhaps, sham ing certaly): a letter hat wrote toay stuck vanl an sepa raely in my min an, durg the orison his eveng, ene my appeal to the Angels: Yours sincerely, Amen' O. Shame an, in fac, some confuson. Operaton kep o. 5 ugust
Backwars an forwars wormhoo, weaess an sns. But think ha perhaps may have a vison my metation of pit beg my essence whch ma rule he a. t strkes me that shoul noe tha my aly regmen s oneanahalf hours prayer one hour meaion, five hours of holy readg an mesng about. am tryng an th tha in my reams have vste the ousie corrdors of he Acaemy Operaton kep o. 6 ugust
Progress tha find mpossble to quie wre abou The Tbetan has sa t a. A calm, then a shame. Holing the whip tight A ffcult balance between humility an elation, alost. uch
e ina To onths
11
much shame. Heavy aack las nih (in bed) and in he Oraory yeserday and oday - he heavies ye bu coped wih. A buin warm sensaon a he �ack of my neck Operaion kep o 1 7 ugust
The fac ha i is now only five weeks o he End somewha boggles bu hardly surprises me. Some progress. Greaer under sanding always of my sinfulness. nsucions coninually on how o behave am rying As always am a wo and do no dare o know anhin. Heavies' again in he Oraory; hink he heoy is o adually build hem up - can pray wih hem hreaenin me hen shall no be erried on he day. do no know anyhin for cerain excep ha: if nohin happens he res of his life is spen anywhere am raeful for aving been allowed o pra o Him in His beauy for Six Monhs. Everyhin is vaniy and coun myself houh a worm and sinner Blessed by His grace. Operaion kep o. 1 8 ugust
creasing awareness -which hihlihs my sins and weaknesses. Up and down. A very usefu man tram suddenly in use a he momen: Be Here Now am here now for a period; hen 'm where? when? and back again New visions cerainly bu of noh am cerain How can be cerain of anyhin whie everyhin ha was me - my personaliy - sll acs rear is ugly head To be perfec wih all ha God willin. am such a cocky lile worm. (Buin a back of neck coninues) Operaion kep o 1 9 ugust
An aack firs hing his mornn; anoher as wrie his n he dayime much ener and ligh flowing hrouh me. is a very inense and srane ime My head also aches hrobs pressures n he Oraory his evening a high' ha do no undersand a all. Anoher voice? Perhaps my personaliy playin very devious ricks? All mos pecular and as wrie his quie heavy really don' quie undersand am mus admi fearful. pu my faih in our Lord and His proecon bu even so am beinning o find i a bi heavy sill o be objecvely compleely on my own hrouh his The Maser DK menioned somewhere abou some niiaes
116
e ina Two Months
becomig ioled i laetay rma - dot ow. do kow howeer, that am moig ad mst stay i/with it whateer o the Three Worlds tries to threate ad suck m e back. eratio ket to. 0 ugust
Momets of great certaity alteatig with weak fear ad sea rateess. Stregth ad quiet erss cocky whininess. The orison ow ery itense. I canot write a ull descitio for e this diary falls into the wrog hads, because it has t do with raisig the kndaini fre thik. a ot certain but trust to ituition. More attacks last ight, fally pushig me ito tryig to state with beef that exist i cosciousess o the Buddhic (the pane of pre intitie consciosness) lae ad that o threat rom the Three Worlds could touch me but it does touch my persoality. No My ersoality lays more ad more deious ames in order to stay aroud; I am cotiually astonished by its/ my ability to surace ito cotrol this is my true weakess ad sin as my ersoality is bizarrely cocky ad eeds slapig dow (though with loe). eratio ket to 1 ugust
The begiig of the last moth. am beii but only just to be my true self . That which I was still am; it ritates me greatly, is occasioally strog - that is, i relatio to my weakess ad I si most terribly i allowig my eyes to look dow ad take otice. With o other objectie adice the Chig is y most amazing ad truthful fried I caot thak His Wisdom sufficietly in helig me t is bizarre which arts of me exist still there om a extremely ai bourgeois to a araoid hysteric as regards the course ad outcome of this peratio. am struck by my strage ad terrible 'jumingthegu i the ast, ee ow, ad fear whether it will be held agaist me. Een ow dare to tk it shall ot. For the first time I (the transpersona soidentied ) am writi this diary hree iches back rom my eyes; ited to stay here. ited to be strog ad hold i the light Ee though am , I kow othig of the reset or the ture. I am a most lucky worm ad y rust is i the Hierarchy as They work out His Pla ray oly that be allowed to hel - that They deig to allow me to wie Their feet. That I might in o matter what way, be a art of Their Work. f, ee ow, am worthy. Truly, kow othig. Christ eratio ket to.
e ina To onths
7
ugust I am writing this diar again I hav ben arond for qt a lot of the day - thogh not enogh. I am now the e tiangl looking down at my lowr, tying not to e distactd, trying to notice hen I am distracted and contin to sin. The level of consciosness is Bddhic (mainy intitie) bt I do not hold it My thoghts, m meditation are in words, in clothd menal matter mst la two tgs: a to hold steady the ight; b to medat Bddhical. It cold, threfore, I ms, be an extrmy ong tim untl th nxt ste is takn. My ersonality ithr mos and obstcts or els is a Master xing u the World aay am, when I am not searat, not sinning, withot te, in biss, and facd with vista that shows I am mrely a worm oking my head ot of th dung and occasionaly -no qnty - sliing back in Alraise, a glor, all servic to the One God, Or Go by whose Grac and Loving dness w are. Oration kt to 23 ugu st
I' am hr - with difficulty, howvr, aways snng, always atheticly and weaky ooking down I am, I consider oftn, a sirital cril of rar standing, loong continaly for occult boosts to ke m chgging haily along I want ot. Etheric vision nd claivoyance commencing, fashing and ot as I ty and init the yoga to bring it togethr. D.K.'s Cosmic ire creats idas and concets far too large for m. I think I have been xtmey vain - I know nothing. I stil exrnc much fear at tims; a note in Cosmic ire says far is de to th reactions of th das that make th etheric body; I ho so and I thnk anway that I have had a sfcincy. A thndrtorm today and I dar to imagin that th tims of ral ain and torture ar ovr I cannot kee m vision wards - I am a ty sinfl wo - and I am worried: twntynine days is not vy ong, bt God is my shild if and as H digns to notic. Oeration ket to ugust Just - but only jst - a ittle bit lss naghty today. Th vision mainly cnted wards The robm at ths momnt is with the vs of which my body is made - Dvas II, VI, V ( am referrin here to the iin essence that makes p the matter of my physica
118
e ina To Months
emotional and menta body) - who are resonding to all vibrations aroun me in a diferent way rom my consciousness It would seem that the issue now is or m consciousness to stay steady while the rest o me comes ully under the laws of Vishnu or Love at whch oint they wi have bee raised to the requied state or the next lanetary round (Whoever reads this will have to have the Tibetans terms o reerence - which are the ierarchy ) Perhas i I had a mantram it would hel I o not know If I am being wrong about all this then I sn in ost horrible and dissting wa Bt I am ever a worm The swits and swallows are now flying within several (si nne) eet of me Each day alo seems to have a regular cycle I ray and then go back to bed always heavily centrg mysel rst when I get u the second time I am immersed in (psychooical) concrete and some unleasantness but not much Then things get progressively better clmaxng at about 4 m and then get ro gressively worse climaxing aga about 63 m ( am referrin to bad moods and bad atmospheres.) Beore I go to bed I usually exerience some ear It has been le this every day or about a week now In the early hours of the nght though introduce to lashes o love and consciousness that are beyond words last night was truly indescrbable I think I have comletely raised the kndalini ire am here and then I am not Let me hold still and not sin Operation ket to 25 ugust
Still a bit better but only a bit ave finished rereading Cosmic ire the concets dale me I am now reading DKs (oh much love and gratitude to im) Rays and Initiations e suggests the thee demands that wil make the inal jum I do not under stand I sin still Oeration ket to 26 ugust
Without the Tbetans writigs I would be comletely lost As it is I am just lost so orsons inormation slis through to me about what is haening and what I should do but I ear always that I am sinning by looking away rom im to whom I coness I believe the situation is this (i I am wrong I s in most terrible vanity) I am Sirit and atter cannot equate the two the
e ina Two onths
9
mater is ot full shig et; the phsical shall be golde, the emotioal shall be Buddhic lovig; ad the metal, pure spiriual will (I think) But All This must become Oe as it is all life wit fe - ad am, therefore, lost The phsical sesatios are most strage, but I have bee here most of toda except for about a hour Truly am ot at all certai of athig I know othig about the preset or the ture; eve the past ol ow becomes slightl clear I keep beig istrcted to brig people ito the group; oe more today It now amounts to around twelve BP(! ); ; MJ; GHF; JK; MD; MH; SI ; G; SB; J; FJ(?); (ese are a initias of iends whom I hed in my prayers and meditations) I am certain of oe of them realit; four are ve close; perhaps I am beig ujust? Ad WHO is certai of me? Aoe? Operatio kept to 27 ugust
The writigs of the Tibeta are completely reorietating me e of the problems' has bee that I have had o coscious contact with the Hierarch and have therefore bee able to rel o othing except m fath i His Glor ad Grace (othg except?! !) The Operato is a magic oe to gai domiio over spiits ad all creatures' - but, i fact, it has bee the buring groud of iitia tio Ad ow, toda, I fid mself a iitiate, still with o Hierarchical ontact (cosciousl) ( The next day I wrote in the dia " oon in y, idiot! This referred to the 7th ay when I had commnication with my aster In the rt pbished edition of this dia I wrote in at this point this footnote "This is a neat exampe of the dichotomy that can exist in a hman mind between the word-based menta and the hiher intitive facties Despite a the cr idance that I had received, at that point in time I sti eqen ty heded my bets on the reaity of teepathic commnication A reistered etter wod have sited me better I aso inored the physica manifestation of the Tibetan teacher) begin to sese ad feel cocepts ad glories that the Tibeta ca also ol hit at i words i his books ad see also, through his teachig, the most beautil picure of the foward movement ot onl of humanit, but of everthing that is within the sphere of our plaeta Logos (The so or inner consciosness of the whoe panet) et, am stl ovewhelmed with m wormhood ad sifulness, m - to put it in more mode terms ad out of the
e ina To Months
belt mystic jargon - inadequacy o serve in any way, my mption in even daring to attempt to be aowed in, my atience to move forwar, and still my fear But now see a way war; th dark of wch I have been aaid is the pureness of it am spit and matte, and cannot see the unit wit self My pesonality truly iritates me', to quote the Master K am speeding do not seem able to hold my head coectly, my eyes focused, and when do, the pressure, in fact on my skull is bizarre an painul If am V ( am rerin aain to an initiato eve) then must, imagine, behave in a cetain coect manner - so must do There is no more to be sai or whined about What the end of the Operation hos, however, is altogethe anothe matter, with its wands and robes hav not written al this. Duality, I seek to show the eader / myself, is stil rampant but observe wish love an strength to all who foow By His Grace and unto His glory Opeation kept to 2 t
Last night, the pressue on my skull increased and a ow of incredible energy wnt through me which directed out to the Ashram (By Ashram' I meant the rop of iends, knon and n non, ith hom I fet mysef to be inked.) I do not know if this was corect What must now do is hold my consciousness ever at the Buddhic leve, eve in the space where thought is not expressed in words hold it: then lose it When I hol it, through it see a great gory I am boggled by the fact that have seen His Eye (One of my epeiences drin these days as as if I ere y in the presence of Divinity face to ce, ookin directy into Gods es. Earier in the dia I remark that I as ik a ihtened do ookin in to the eyes of its master. Of evethin tt happened drin the Operation, that prticar epeience as perhaps the most important. is an epeience hich has ner e me, in hich I am sti ivin and to hich I am sti adjstin. I no oner nd the iht bindin or hmbin, bt I am sti in ae ofit) now will to move steadily ahead - espite my spiritual presump tuousness, my continual loweing of the vision' by His Grace and unto His Gloy Opeation kept to 29 t
A day in which a cetain claity is emerging Fistly, page 51 7 of
he ina Two onths
2
Rays and Initiations perfectly descrbes te problem, but a commencg feebly to sound te an tra o Purpose tself I am, presupposng ta I am a Trd Ray ntate (i s section o Rays and Initiations reads I It is not easy for the discipe on this ray to achiee the necessa foca point of sience his intense idity eads to any words or to reat enta actiity, eqenty carried forward nder the ipse ofaor. This essens the potency of what he seeks to do Bt when he has scceeded in achiein enta sience and is sipy a point ofinteient concentration, then he can se the ord of Power ( the inner note ofhis own spirit with reat eectieness e dicty is that he has to oercoe the tendency to se it with the idea of physica pane res ts in his consciosness Aways he works o the ane of that diine qaity which characterises atter . Bt once he intitiey copre hends and factay rasps the concept that spirit-atter are one reaity, and once he has achieed within hisef the sbiaton of atter, then he can diorce hisef o a that the han bein nderstands in reation to for) Stll, ast amounts of energy are flowng troug me and I am learnng to control t, and old myself steady. It s avg a ery extreme pyscal effect terms of ear and ead ace on tose around me, and any nonntate as dffculty wn some twenty feet of my presence I ae been gen a bg magcal act to do wc wl, I tn, culmnate durg October I am not certan, as I ae not properly medtated on te act to create a pure soul for te form. (I thoht that I was inoed in editationa and enery work to hep transfor the onoin idde Eastern crisis) I a beng traed and I am mog aead Toug I am eer a total worm before H, before All, before te One. Te world news today was also encouragg!! ut I am stll sprtuay presumptuous Operaton kept to 30 ugust
A ery unappy day A concerted eort, startng last ngt n y seep wt sexual desre, and contnung rgt troug te day to dsrupt my centredness and successfully dsruptg t 90 per cent of te tme A bad ulcer n te leftand sde of my face; and te smlartes to 31 July are ery nterestng I ae fnsed Rays and Initiations and I need to slow my d down to a controllable snals pace, to ae control ee second of te mental forms eanatg from me Apart from te fact tat I st do ts for my own progress, tey are extremely potent and terefore unpleas
122
e ina To onhs
atly' terferesome to others. I must hold mself st, kowg who I am ad what I must do. Realy, today has made me unhappy ad has been somewhat tortuous, but I th I kow what must do tes of vso ad work. No doubt, I wll ask the belovd Chin f I am mssg aythng. I am somewhat dsgusted wth myself, yet I have bee shown how I must be. Though I had the felg at oe pot that had bee delberately thrown back to teach me. A most severe attack the ratory ths eveg. Yet I lve! I also s stll. peraton kept to . Yes, t tels me I am mssg beg joyous' ( Hexagram 58) 31 gst
Tee weeks to go! I am, I t, lookg forward to t. I have bee o edge today - o readg at all, manly a semcontuous medtato. feel that I am o the edge of uderstadg the ystery of sprtatter ad the purpose tself I am'. Ad I ever repat to mysel the Master D.K.'s words that the physcal dense body s not a prncple. Therfore I eed not eve thk about t. My persoalty rrtates me tuly. I must be uly free of all fo, but I am ot. rema, for stace, terested my - who facal uture. Whether or not I emerge from all ths, moey s no relevat. I busht that f I am to be usel, I must be ee. I am ot cocered or obsessed I am casually terested ad that s too much, too terferesome. Generay I have ot bee very good today. As I commece slghtly to uderstad thgs, become patet for results, ever forgetg that results oly come om gog more carefuy ad beautlly. The busness of holdg the metal eergy uder cotrol s very useful. I beg to plead correctly for coversatio wth Hs Agels. perato, by s Grace, kept to. 1 eptember
am leg ow all the tme: how to cotrol, ho w to orchestrate' myself and my effect o others. I am seeg more d, therefore, becomng creasgly aware of my dececes. B I thk that t s al clear; the ssues are obvous ad I dare to thk that the pa of my ow a s over. If I am wrog, Lord be mercful ad kd wth me. Also feel that t oy ow that I am begnng to pray correctl, to nfluence' mysel properly, to voke successfuly, to plead th the most muscule justcato. The man fght s wth
The Fina Two onths
1 23
a mind tat races and continually jumps te gun tat figts in an opposite toug not wicked direction from slowng long intuitie watcflness am still prepared oweer for some ea surprises wc wi of course be desered as stll in same sense a disgusting anity do not know All Glory to te One Operation kept to. 2 eptember
Te eay surprse did come last nigt lasts of energy and information; a ison of someting unpleasant all continuing until was too exausted to be able to take any ore am/was asamed by my nerousness at one point and te fact tat did not die into it ae not beae as correctly as sould ae done today Am now reading Esoteric Psychoogy te aster DK. as muc (page 122 to say about Deas tat make tis 'medieal (toug lessed be Abraeln and Abraam Operaton Te kndaini fire is being raised een iger. y eteric body is wobblig somewat Te pan ofte ntense pressure on te nsie caities of my skull as subsded somewat now; toug te sape of te pical ea as canged soewat a enjoyng wat s appening now ont really know wat m dong or ow tigs wll proceed but am in goo and loing ands toug sin and same myself Operation kept to 3 eptember
Te energy toay 'running aganst me (and te rest of te world and ad great iffculty n 'stancng correctly toug te Ching suggested tat Grace was appropriate at is strange an on my mnd s a feelng tat te sufferng an pain s more or less oer Te Pat wc as led to tis eagre point of aspiration as eer been one of psycic pan an altoug look an scream for a release into tat bliss te idea of tat pain truly ending is not someting tat can easily accept. t sames me Added to my wormoo truly feel sme tnk of my wanerng mnd my spiritua presumptuousness my total gnorance and separate ness and ten tink to te aster Jesus and today to Soenitsy and feel more same And te rist wo descended to raise us all at ae done to merit any release oter tan aspe to someting wc t is a anity for e to een tnk of And ts
24
The ina To onths
same mixed today wit some imatience, imatence tat tese weeks be over, tat I can sto utng out all my asirational energies urely or a uccessful ending to tis Oeration, tat He may deign to allow me to serve in consciou knowledge o wat tly do Yes, I am endng energie and toug, and making Wite agic a muc a I can, ut I do no really know wat is aeng Tere We ave te doublebind Wat vaniy to tink tat I am evolved enoug to be allowed to know consciosy ow I am servg I am diributing good ener and ougtorms toug tis lanet in a time o great ueaval and is it not enoug at I know tat? Tere are enoug eole doing good wit no knowledge at all, but urely or love All very introverted, no? Grace and joy uno i erice a suficiency ay He orgive me. Oeration ket to 4 eptember
Very similar eeng to yesterday, all somewat eigtened by an exemely loose eterc body wic, during tis evening's oration, somewat unnerved me Te Chin accuses' me o modesty about being mode' (or tells me ta i wat I should be tat sounds a bit coy, bu I am still too nervous to take any cances) Again, voices and senaons tat I do not quite understand One art o me say I ould not exteriorizeuntil am taken by te and by friends and know were am going te oter oinion is tat am going to exteriorize weter I like it or not, and tat do ave te rigt' to beave e one o ante's imeriou Angels mm Also, yesterday and today wi my own eyes I ave seen te reality o te backtofront nature o te Atral- at least some oter dienion wic i te ultimate anasy and mya or umanity (Tus Hitler's inverted globe and arroll's Aice Throh the Look in Gass (or a hie, ookin ot across the aey, I entered an atered state of consciosness Eethin dissoed into a br of cstas and spar and then reappeared exct that it as a inside ot as if ookin into a distortin mirror, ith the rthest aay cosest and so o.) Te most beautiul aect o te moment, toug, i s tat all tat as aened i ta I ee a beginning, tat I now see te door wic eralds real e A caual reader may wonder at te act tat am unimresed by te relative elevation o my consciousness but ti is only in emoional eronality uman erms And it i only now tat I begin to ee e true wonder and armony o tis
The ina To onths
125
planet, let alne sstem r universe The epths m ignrance are reall uite unfathmable I wrie t much I burble n It is a rm chilish excitement stl tinge with nervusness I am, hwever, learning Psalm XIC b heart - an that is m prtectin as it has ever been That the Earth shul be One in ve b al its brethren Again hwever, the sae shame s sterd Operain kept t. (Psam 91 beins He that deeth in the secret pace of the ost Hih sha abide nder the shado ofthe Amihty It aso contains the ine or he sha ie his Anes chare oer thee to keep thee in a thy ays And ends ith on ife i I satis him and she him my saation. ) 5 eptember
Much happening M etheric b wbbling greatl unless I am cnsciusl with m ense bd when I mve, thugh in praer I keep feeng that I am ging t tpple ver Great pressure insie m hea; als, interestingl, i I push m inger against a certain pint n m skull - where hair changes irectin - pressure is felt ver the frehea What? I nt knw Then a great illuminatin this evening that everthing that exists f m threel persnal i shul be belw m threshl f cnsciusness but reail retrievable when neee; sit back an watch it nctin fr instance, in certain scial situatins while I carr n with m wrk is the crrect aim i in a scial situan b miste I am learning Changes and awarenesses are happening rpi but a eeling imminent cam an bliss that wil be ttal I am nervus at this mment writing becase I think smething ma ccur tnight Funnil, the fight is t alwas retain ttal an cmplete awareness - even nw -the bthering thing is mai that it cntinuall eels as thugh m etheric b will take witht m conscios ecisin Cnsiering everthing that is hrl a real prblem I am rambling, as has m min r much ta A reaer wh wishes t knw everthng shul rea the wrks the Tibetan An stil sme shame Operatin kept t Almst rgt An interesting ublebin is that all the magi cal acts that can be use this Operatin is successl are ver persnal' an separate ie, Cnlict This arises as I prepare r the cnjuratins
The ina To Months
2 6 eptember
Similar feelings to the last two days A cliax thogh in terms of no more whining abot my siflness before od Again the Ching directed me released the intition I mst no longer sck norish ment' of those aboe me; it is now my task to norish myself and others I prayer "I stand high aboe the eighteen fires and sond ot my demands' There is no other language tat is sitable As I was repreparig the magic sqares and rereading what I mst do oer the seen days I sddenly apprecite how I may trly ioke these forces and that I am ibrantly stong now my own magic circle; te one sligt and interesting troble is that te remnants of the mind of my personality tend to think oer the qestion of inocation which ith my crrent ibrance is alost fficiet to attract immediately the forces; I therefore keep silence I feel and I am strong now od lling The swallows who hae a nest on the hose are teachig Jnior how to fly Mmm May we all so lea eh To His Glory By His race eration kept to 7 eptembe
he pace cones and I am not holding myself as high as I oght I feel tat I had a holiday most of today spendig too mch time watching the baby swallows for in all learn how to fly hey are ery sweet Swaows swifts the trees at te botom of the farm and the french beans were my only friends when I trly needed tem! he pressre inside my head is biarre as thogh the hole of my cranim is being inflated; if I press on any point of the skll I feel the pressre on the opposite side So I lie down wit the back of my head on a pillow it feels as if the front of my face ill take off I think this is all an adjstment so that I may stil se this body yet be clairoyant clairadient etc to the point needed I nderstand better today the three demands which I sond ot from aboe Tey are i the prayer of the reat Inocation' Operation kept to All lory to the One (The Great Inocation is a e poe and se prayer if one moes beyond its sighty sexist and patriarcha angage into its tre cadence and intention rom the point of Light ithin the mind of God Let ight stream forth into the minds of men Let ight descend on Earth
The Fina To onths
ro the point of Loe ithin the hrt of God Let Loe strea forth into the hearts of men ay Christ return to Earth Fro the centre here the i of God is knon Let pose gide the itte is of en e pose hich the asters kno and sere. Fro the centre hich e ca the race o en Let the Pan of Loe and Light or ot And a it s the door hee i des. Let Light and Loe and oer retore the Pan on Earth.) 7 epem ber (conin ued)
hiry mines laer 10 pm a lile baby swallw sitting alne n he windw ledge Nw in a bx in he hse snggled in c wl Cincidence? pecial fae? the tcme f my thghf I hpe n? (is as a beati gi of natre In the idst of a the psychic troi, one of the baby saos cod not ake its ay hoe. It sat on or indo edge and aoed e to pick it p and then pace it safey in a itte box. It as e ca and seeed e happy For soe reason I christened it Herbie-Baby' It rejoined its iy the next orning.) 8 epember
I am n a all happy with the qality f energy tha I hae bee ping t tday I hght day f a way that I cld realy be sefl t the Plan in relatin t cmmnicatins and media erbiebaby the swallw spen a qiet night and ined his family lae his ming rly I am nt happy wih tday; e mre exac my energies in reactin i Operatin kept t At ne pin day I thght I am ly a high initiae then he qalicatins are n ery stringen hn again t be flippant if I am nly a lw initiate then there are thsands which is a cheering thght fr all f s A praise t the Lrd Re my wife: the mist in which I fnd myself is de he fact that in addressing her (sl) I tk rea ntice f her persnaliy hat wi neer happen again with anyne (Amn stared w days ag)
128
The ina To onths
9 eptember
A heay day. Hmm. The swallows leaing atm beginnig the stars srging I sppose add to it bt a feelig of deep deep pain from somewhere so profond inside it swells p. A pain that I hae known and felt since childhood bt which I hae not felt for perhaps twele months as it was made secondary to my personal tortre. Bt it was - as I write this I remember - that infinite hrt and sadness that consciosly started me along the way this life tie It is that same sadness incorrectness of te present sitation for man that has I beliee ted eery disciples face towards Jersalem' (to go p to). Not for the indiidal thogh we scream for peace and liberation - bt for a of s. Free the Men! Free the Children! Free the Women! The Birds! The States! The Plants! And then s we sqeak please dear God. And so we all moe forward. Today in midday prayer I hope that I took all the brothers and sisters in my grop p a step. My head is itensely pressred. I raised the serpent power' gher slightly nerig myself M etheric is wobbling a lot. In my oration this eeng I felt the whole of this solar system to be a at gotc cathedral alt! or ice ersa Yes? Pain and Great Beaty Father come to s all Operation kept to 1 0 eptember
I am most srprised to find myself writing this bt today has been rather hea with all energies rnning agaist me. I am sti here bt I hae descended into being able to clearl see me' te descent into hell' after which I shall rise or jst bad energy? Bt I am not changed which is wh the episode srprises me. Other atmospheres and energies srronding te orations It will od willing happen I feel the Angels close by. I feel Uriel. I am being edcated in an attitde to the eil spirits. I theenk. Again today is not at all good. Thogh I wil can not behae badly there is an element to my consciosness today which is retrogressie. Operation kept to. 1 1 eptember
The energies today hae been disgstig and I hae been allowing them to pass throgh me. I am descended into the shit and hel and I hae watced myse so descending. Ha. Ha. Bt I am here Oh the dobts and agonies that appear the pai deep down the
The ina To onths
129
infite feeling of personal shittyess that negates all m y aspra on. I am being serios. It is at ties ery er dark ad i this darkess I do not she as a light therefore sinflness and weakness. The Chin says modesty' I am modest or immodest? I am not certain. It is important for any frien who reads ths to realise that ee at this stage there are the most heay dobts not abot any of the Trths or is Woder ad nity - bt abot oneself and one's continal weakess and sin. That the energy today shold be so wared and that I shold sink with it... It is today or tomorrow the fll moon. As sch I hae been praying wit as great an itensity as possible for my brother and sisters and for y grop; to keep them p and pshing throgh ts tme. It is obiosly a period of great importance for the ierarcy and I try to intit how I may help other than trning myself e so ws into another beacon of light. Wateer the Forces of Lit are winnng and the total ision is ery excitin. The ngdom of Go is approaching. Operation kept to. 1 eptember
Slar to yesterday except worse The dality is painfl in its irritaton. I am bt I had ot the strength or will to be al day ad became lost in my own illsory daydreams. Then sddenly me wold groa om deep within to be and be pleasantly or at least in fantasy and some pai as it was pshed back down. What gas me is tat I knew somethng like this in terms of opposing energy wold happe and I had wanted to stay p in order to trly el te grop; to shine as the sn at midday as the I Chin dear fried told me this morning with exagram 1 The Creatie with te second fth and sixth lines changing the last line of which I do not fly nderstand. (Also Allende dead twele killed in Sot Aica - the crisis stmbles on.) Yet some great change is also appening. Sometimes I am here aboe myself almost tre and complete and then I slip back. In a sit oflight and glory and te I sip. Last night again a dream inolng the Academy I think with the Meisier leading prayers. (By Academy I mean the spiritua schoo many of us remember attendin hie aseep. It is named aer Patos Academy. e enuisier as an aed Berber carpenter hose imae I projected in my dream on to the rea teacher.) am not appy with myself at all today. Twele days of it now startin intensey fe days ago Enogh. Operation kept to.
13 0
e ina Two onths
1 3 eptember
Similar energies and reactions to those of yesterday; if anything worse It's a sort of suck' Whateer being permanently (or much of the time at any rate) in the planetary cathedral in the compan of Angels as a mental stance has helped een thoug I hardl merit the august enironment and presences Yet een so - and I am sticking my neck out - I feel that tis period too may be coming to an end My feelings about te end of this Operation are netral My trust is od and the Hierarchy I knowore or less what I am doing and I am not afrad (though he matter of my personaty occasionally starts still and is ightened) Sometimes tere is an extremely distant oice that almost audibly squeaks that this is not a real ting I mysef disagree with that opinion As eer it seems that I know absolutely nothing I am submerged in te Tree Worlds yet this afternoon began a feelig of jst a little bit of glee I am holding it back Initiation must take a second place (to be exac my compulsiely ain thoughts on Initiation) to the sccess of this Operation My trust is in the loing hands of Those who deign to guide me through this despie my continal wormhood and weakness 1 4 eptember
Howeer sane and strong I may sound or be as I write this today has been a day of profound darkness and at times profound fear The fear is that I will be the one and only acciden eer te one that they on t'other side got Not possible I know the Laws and it is not possible od His protection een my own power There was also an attack last night in which y dreambody was cagh and clausrophobically held; it did not frighen me But oday in the darkness the small whelps of personalit from deep within hae echoed ou to aboe and I ae lost any form of contuos Buddhic consciousness Aloree and howeer om tis I will shortly emerge I am preparing heaily ?) for te last seen days at the moment There is someting ery hot (in temperature) at my left shoulder in the Oratory as I pray On a comletely different tack certain questions hae been arising oer such scientifica as Light Electricity Eolution Mmm I know absolutely nothing nog at all I mst focs contin ously upwards and out of the darkness Operation kept to Were it not for a remark b the Master DK concerning darkness and initiation I wod be ery woied
Te Fina Two onts
3
eptemer No sleep last night with the feeling al l he tme that was about to get up and I went out to pray before dawn the earliest yet which I shall continue to do unti the end of the Operation Well the heaiest day yet My ind slips from between my eyes down to y solar plexus which is more sensitie than eer efore eep and horrible darkness and hold the whp ost strongly across my back to pull me up For a moment this afternoon I thought I was emegng but an enronmental ntrusion created a reaction i y solar plexus and I shot down For the first tme eer in y orations this afternoon and eening I begged to be released d not desire that this continues but there are any trite things I could say about it all that would put y whining to shame Also how closely this approximates to last onth as a cycle is bizarre On 21 August I' appeared whch ges hope for 21 Septeber I am still preparig eerything for the Seen ays and I hae begun re readig Cosmic Fire to answer yesterday's questions Also in y oration I am pleading for strength and spirit to see e through. I really need it. Yet I am not confused I am hanging in darkness between literally (anity) Heaen and Earth Yet spirit is black In the Song of Soloon I am Black and Comely oh ye daughters of Jerusale.' Tat I hope is the answer My loe to all y brothers and sisters. Operation kept to. P.S. Frances has ust told e that she has had two bad nights Wot wi all this and my solar plexus perhaps I a being deliber ately used as a acuumcleaner for asal shit i.e the Third Demand 1 6 eptemer
The most tortuous day yet but I think/ hope it reached a climax at midday. I am (or hae) raised the kndaini energy through a second hole in y head; I do not think the chanel is clear yet. No one except a brother can appreciate the psychic and personal pain one goes through but this has its siler lining as for instance it led me today to an actual positie desire to enter a state that has preiously been the ultiate i paranoid and hysterical fear The black energy the rush of fear of oerwhelming darkness I hae pushed towards it een now a bit nerously and it has to a degee rushed in by this new hole in y head( !) The ight s ery e acute and bitter. Perhaps this is Aageddon. (I am brought
13
The ina To onths
tat concept by Manly P Hall's asonic and Rosicrcian etc Ency copaedia wic is a great comfort to me proiding my only literay relaxation Also today All as and Gaiters' on te B.B. . World Serice a religios comedy show I mst ae an ally i Bs Hose. I mean e mst hae an ally..) In the Oratory tis eening for te first time astral figres in my head - enormos Egyptian priests all ey pretty bt not I think releant Tis is trly a time of cange I tink I know noting at all. I know only tat I am stil - for all tese grand energies a ain ses worm. Wat exactly it strck me today am I actually doing to send ot really good ig loing energy in my life between prayig? Answer noting It mst cange For the Lord te One God is a Loig od Operation kept to 1 7 eptember
Today is different from te preceding cycle from wic I am emerging althog am not in fll consciosness. Te loin joy wic I mentioned yesterday as being wat I sold et contin osly is being applied as Law today wit painfl bt wortwile (srprise srprise) effects Last night I was faced wit a flow of energies (wich yesterday I boasted I was now welcong) and I ed my eyes away aga like a neos dog - bt I was igtened I am still neros at te concept and if faced agai wit it am ncertain tat I can old my eyes and consciosness steady tog I will to try I feel somewat pathetic abot tat and abot eeting else today - like a relatiely wellmeaning bt int sically selfish ttle pppy wit all te images tat go wit it. Al tis is strangely nrelated to te Operation - I tik I really am not tellectually or psyccally certain abot anyting Tere are oweer sarp energies flowing through my skll and brain I ae not been mentally tranqil today my brain willo' wispg abot and I not beig strict enogh wit it - een now as I write Bt te most beatifl thing' i the ratory at lnctime (and it was mc needed to me) sowed me tat tere was now a smile oer my head instead of the halo of 2 gust I fond tat ery nny - it was a loely and mc appreciated present And now I feel guilty tat I reqire this attention to keep me toddlig appily along. A smile catces te dew of paradise Always sme' Operation kept to
The ina Two onths
33
18 e ptember
A small amont of clear light at the end of the tnnel. I see perhaps the end of this razor edge. Joy and bliss wipin ot pain is the answer and it is almost here today almost as I cannot hold it in my weakness. Bddhic consciosness also rets intermit tently today The thing thogh has been to lie it to lie it in the family here. Strange eery time I am what the Master K calls a point of tension I think that the stained consciosness is only going to get weirder ntil I manage to accstom myself whereas the tth is always that one rets to the calm of where one was' bt with a new dimension which I think pshes an earlier dimen sion below the threshold of consciosness I feel slightly calmer abot the end of the Operation. I hae not broken any of the rles. I am aaid now of the Angels and od and not of anything else. I fear to inslt them with my grossness and ignorance. I am in their most beatil hands and my thoght and wish is that it wil be the most amazing race of which I am not worthy. Operation kept to. I ery nearly forgot to write ts. Yesterday and today I was qite oercome by the miracle of (as H.A. said in a letter yesterday> getting off the laatory and arriing in and being in La Valle Herese (i.e . eain the city and comin to this orios aey in the montains.) Tly some tears. And today we sddenly remember is the anniersary of that leitation. (A rther ten mintes ater) It strikes me therefore that it is a most aspicios time indeed. The beginning of a jorney? Bt tonight there was a sdden and hge flow of egocentricity which shames me and is the last one eer for me. od what a pathetic wreck I am yet tonight I neertheless feel a joy. And a speed. Mmm. 1 9 eptember
A day of acte energies and great weidness. I a m (or I hae pt myse nder great and tremendos stain. I am nding it some what difficlt een to wite this. Perhaps it is a final allot manoere to stop me; if so far too late. Perhaps it is a reappear ancebt for the absoltely final encore of my personality which is tryg to shiek at the strain and slide ot of this glorios commitment; so again far too late. It is at this point that I become tly the warrior Christ's night for myself for my brothers and sisters bt most for His glory (thogh He hardly has any need of
34
The ina To onths
me, no matter how much I understand the coming of the Fith Kngdom and the oter esoteric' teachng concerning evolution) In the Ortory this evening, sparks of white lig and even some elecric cracklng noises (like two ires beig bushed against each oter; the duality in my ead (between a (forehead) and hrot/mouth, it feels) most extreme and observabe annoy ing attack and threat whic, as I left the Oratory, tue out to be only six inches high! Truly, tough, the point of ension is cutely igh My feelings about the end of the Operation re confused; a prnce mong men, a worm amog Angels I il be frightened; I wi insult Them with my ignorance, arrogance, grossness I wil insult His wisdo with my vnty, sloness nd ten remem bering o we hve been brougt ere And if I occasionlly ave fearful doubts about his beg a real thing', I oy ve to tnk to my physical head whic is stil uder great internal pressure, and its ole shape has chnged, though my air now growing, disguises it What trivia! But everythng tat e know - every thng! - is trivia in comparison to a grain of te understaning and glory Again, as last night, s I rite ths diary, te energy coming trough is quite shamingly and chilishy pparent I would only make one ting clear - tat ts is not a crisis on the level of the Fourth Kngdom Brezhnev, Nixon, Amin and Kadafi coul walk together ad without ing into this ouse and leave, I hope, better and happier men Oi ! True. The crisis is elsehere and it is in the kowledge of my total wekness nd ignorance and sheer clumsess that I fear and am nervous Wat else can I sy? My trust also is elsewhere, is it not? Above, uno e God te One God Our Lord an His servnts wo deign to order and lea nd guard me So all praise uto te One Al praise As s century turns, we shall see His Kingdm come ruly Operaion kept to Agai, e duaty is severe and amusing I - I might oy sme on It is vey difcult toay mm? Te rut of te matter is that I am in a higlyned state of nticipatio an tis is causing (or is coinciden to a vast flow of energies hroug me I also take into ccoun the flashings wic I ave not previ ously experienced Yes? 20 eptember
(4.30 pm) Everything is reay I stop writing fora mute as ualiy flshes troug and I watc tese hans wit te biro - for e Consecration is tomorrow and I cnnot put mysel nto a calm and
e ina To onts
3 5
glowing state -nor do I know if I am supposed to. I would I tik be a strange initiate who was not nervous and te instruction is clear and unavoidable tat one must umiliate oneself it fer vour. 1t is my ardent wis for ure travellers of tis pat tat te route to communication wit te Higher Hierarcies sould be less personally tortuous an more (itellectually and socially) straightforward Perhaps when te ystery Schools are rein stated tis will become a reali I ave a small ulcer in te rigt and side of my mout as opposed to te left were one as been in te past - no doubt this is progress I am fluid enoug for spots to ave ppeared on my face (toug peraps tat is due to not wasing my newlygron air torougly enoug) I suppose tat te element wic makes for te greatest tension and te most weirdness' is tat I have never met anyone in te fles wo would relate to or more importantly be able intelli gently to educate me in tese matters Te books say it all But again it is my ardent wis tat te ysteries (te esoteric and magica teacins) become sufficiently exoteric (pbic) to make it unnecessary for tis kind of track to be alked i tis sort of darkness Toug I am ere wat! Wen te men on our planet ave had te material glamour lited from tei eyes tey ill see. For nstance to assume tat te divine voice n the back of one's ead guiding and braking is created by grey oozing fles tat is te brain - a gross flabby organ - is sufficient to sow te eav thickness of te veil tat blids te most intelligent of men. But we - te disciples aspirants and cidren - will dissolve and remove tat veil And terefore te ngdom of God is obviously on its ay Having reassured myself on tat- and you my broter -I ave filled some fteen minutes and must fd sometng correct to do. A te duality is most interestig as both parts ar e agreed on one great topic - teir orribleness before God and His Angels An inabiliy from eiter side to be anyting but clumsy I A (sneer sneer) THAT I AM (snivel svel). I may only add tat I am neiter feeling nor beaving very well but tat inane grin is sining again wic also shames me Tere is no way out of my wormoo 900 pm) Well te six monts are over - te Six oons of Preparation - and it is a miracle to me in all ways In one ay I would ave tem go on and on for it is a purificatory process and I am not pure. Watever te outcome of next week tat I i contue. I so swear Frances toay said tat se would not look at te toads if se did not like them; wic is pertinent to wat I feel
3 6
e ina To onths
about the Angels attitude toards me Beteen riting this today I felt a charge ithin telig me to relax makg me relax I find it difficult There is little to rite no All the notes concern ing the Seven Days are in a separate notebook I have been eepig much today in shame y trust is in His ercy and usce hich are ever corect Operation kept to!
H V AY A, VA JA Day of Consecration hen rst ye shal enter into the Orator leave your shoes without and having opened the window ye shall place the lighted coals in the enser which you shall have brout with you you shal ight the lap and take o the upboard of the Altar your o vestents the rown the Girdle and the Wand pacing the upon the Altar Then take the Sacred Oil in your e hand cast soe of the Pere upon the Fire and place yourself upon your knees praying unto the ord with feour Having nished your Orison rise o your knees and anoint the centre of your forehead with a litte of the Sacred Oil; aer this dip your nger into the sae Oil and anoint therewith the four coers of the Altar Touch also with this Holy Oi the Vestents the Girdle the rown and the Wand on both sides ou shall also touch the Doors and the Windows of the Orato Then with your ger dipped in the Oil you shal write upon the four sides of the Altar these words so that they ay be perfectly clearly written on each side: In whatever place it ay be wherein omeoration of My Nae shall be ade I will coe unto you and I will bless you"
From the nstructons (ee ges
the cred o the
38
T Svn Days o Conscration
21 eptember
(9 a) Rose a 530 a mae te cosecraion, cong ou of e Oratory at 7 am Te weate as suenly e co If I be sufficiently purifie for omorow, he i s te spirit o e Lo an not by virue of my own mer or effort I smble an am clumsy, even in the cosecraon (I meant to note yesteray that I ave been consultig he I Cing aly an e as been avising me perfectly If I am so grace as to brig is Operation unto a successful coclusio, e I sall n ou wo is resposible for the Canges (I mea he ynaics of e I Cing a I wil ak a hank im for his continual cosieration) pray agan a miay ad wiligh oug te instructions are o crysa clea om Abraam, I take it to be so an ave iuite no cotracion It was, I mus say, very glorious to see everying o te alar a o smell he oil (9 ) Ater a unpleasantly inese an very saming ay, te atmospere has sueny ease is eveing If, however, I were to concentrate on wha is appenig, I woul samefuly colapse n ears again I av bgge oay tha I soul ie ( ant that y snaity sod di> An ta is a strange ting, peraps, tat eve now I ink always towars Iniiaio eaps is is only because, in reality, I cano strec my intellect to conceive of wha, Go wlig, is about o take place I ave bee reai he biogaphy of iarpa wic I fi most comforting I see from a note conceig raising te kndaini eergy ta my Teacher has inee bee closer tan I iagne It is oy now ha begin o see cerain rus an my fure ere must epen on wha I learn tat I must o to perect an liberate myself or wa I am ol o o I a His servant, weter accepte or ot Tere is, owever an ras a cage appening May He give me stengt a grace for the next few ays ay One complee - Te Day of Cosecraio
Te Sen Day o Coneaton
39
Fst Day of the Convocatio of the gls
ake a Robe of Mouing; enter the Orato ith are feet; go unto the side ofthe C enser, take the ashes thereom and place them upon your head Humiiate yoursef before God and His Ceesa Cou, and commence your prayer ith feour, for then it is that you ill begin to ename yourself in praying, and you i see appear an exaordinary and supeatural Splendour hich i l the hole apament, and il sod you ith an inexpressibe odou, and this alone ill console and comfort your heart so that you shall call for ever happy the Day of the Lord"
From t he instructions (See pages
the Sacred of the
22 eteme
(9.45 a) I cannot ay. I do not o hat ha (not) happened . I am hoever n a dfeent pychc pace. I do not kno. The Lord ll perfect that hch conceeth me If He o ll. Day To the Frt Day of the Convocaton of the Angel.
Second Day of the Conocaon of he gels nd thus shal ye pray unto the utmost deee that shal be possibe unto you, and ith the eatest feour Dug the space of to or three hours en quit the Orato, retung thither at midday for another hour, and equally again in e evening Understand aso that the odour and the splendour il in noise quit the Oratory "
From th e instructions of the Sacred M gi See pages 1-5 of the facsimile.)
2 eteme
(3 ) Agan I cannot ay. I dare not and I cannot. A Abraham ay tomorro hen the Operator ll ft be able to ee f he ha ell ued the prevou month unto the ervce of God. Whatever doe or doe not happen my concern l be to kno to lea ho I may lberate myelf n ti letme may rentegrate n th lghtnng lfe. The bogaphy of Mlaepa much cheeed me
1 40
Te Seven Days o Consecration
- an how pleasant that I shoul rea t now an kow that my aspraton s not mpossble To renounce fully n the twenteth centuy s the same but fferent from the eleenth century an those tmes now, t must be one wthn the mn, an een while lng a materal fe one's whole aspraton an spritual esre must be to te Real To eke out a lg, yet not care It s ery ffcult Only o I prase fate an the Gos an the Angels that eghteen months ago, when I plege myself to a total break, crcumstances were wth us - or to be exact, bere I went broke we le wth enough to scrape through the tme to fufil ths Operaton Oer the last sx months I hae conscously learnt many thngs some of whch I knew before, but not know were the prlege (or pan) of ntates, others of whch I coul not een hae reame an een now stretch my pathetc mn as I attempt clumsly to unerstan An een then, all that (Wat aened to e on te day o te ll invocation o y Gardian Angel was so terrible and incoreensible tat a coule o days later I tore ot te age in y and-written dia wic lined te 23rd to te 24t Seteber; I tore it ot and bu rned it Were I tore it out I wrote in te dia Here I ave torn out a age as it contained tings I eel aier not being in tis dia and tereore able to be read soeone else wo ay eror tis Oeration ' I will exlain below wy I tore it ot)
d Day of the Convocaon of he gels
1
lace yourself on your knees before the tar, to render thnks to God for Hs benets, and stly for havg granted unto you a tresure so eat and so precous Yo shall render thanks also unto te Holy Guardan gels, prayng unto them that hencefoard they ll hve you n ther ce d then shall you rst be able to put to the test wheter you shall have well employed the period of your S Moons, and how well and worthily you shall have laboured the qest o f the Wsdom of the Lord; snce you shall see your Guardan Angel appear uto you unequalled beauty Obsee that on the thd day you should reman n familar conversaton wth your Guadan gel"
Fom the nstuctons (See paes
the Saced of the
T Sn ays o Conscration
4
2 eptember
( d contins) It s not I fn qute possble to put nto clear wrtg what I felt at that moment - or what I feel now If only one thng t has prove that I am psychcally nestuctble (Go wllng) Only shall I say that I myself have been a scream of pa and loss that never ens At the tme the most acute thougt was that I must gve up everytng an go to a monastery; only then sall I n the jewel that I yearn for So clearly answerng came a voce wthn efantly screamg aganst t clngng to very tg I n a total aze left the Oratory an fell nto be; I wse not to thnk or to be conscous My dream was flle wth evl thngs enng wth a humlatng ploy whch led me to ejaculate It s also worth notng that on Fray nght n be such a charge of thrlng electric energy was passe through my body tat I in total reflex acton ejaculate also; at the tme I was not same; ths mong I am (How strangely materal that sex - a short wor use for a long long topc' as the Master D.. says shoul appear here It s not relevan but I must wrte own the tth) An now Ths moment I am n total lmbo (Frances og has sappeare presumably ea an that s a very tortuous sua ton for her to eal wth objectvely) Where an what am I Were must I now go an what must I o How hgh (or low) am I ntated ust how bl or van have I been - am I stl Am I not what I thought I was Is all that only fantasy To what sort of a lfe shoul I now go The ea of a monstery causes me pa n many ways; perhaps that exactly why t has to be one Rather a slum room n te cty and to care for the street clren; a form of actvty Is prayng all the tme a form of arrogance Am I allowe a personal future Wat I now to o For the moment I know ony that I st whatever keep on prayng a prasg Go I feel temptatons all aroun me - I resst them Only o I beg to be alowe out of ths confuson Always the past these claxes have herale a new clarty I am nervous now of the vson ahea; I cannot in any way see t ( ) What an amazng fool I am Havng wrtten the above I returne to the Oratory to pray an my Teacher talke wth me All becomes clear (445 ) Everythg occurs as Abraam wrote I have full conver saton wth my Holy Guaran Agel (7.5 ) Ths s efntely the last entry for toay All s now
142
Te Seven Days o Consecration
clmer to be exct, I am clm Everyting is cler conceg te conjrtions my Gurdin nge wo is oly nd rigteos, mking me orm bt ever trying to elevte me (wic mkes me see mc eg, before Him, my body ws s gly nd uncontroled s te effect tt I sometimes ve on oters, s mde everyting clear bot tis morning, I m not understnding Noting spiritl or psycic could ever trow me back now perps it ws metod wereby I nally flly relinqised te old of my (derly beoved) intelect and put mysef tot�lly into His ands Frnces' little doggy came bck ten mintes go, tecng er mny tgs nd letter ws received tody om W wo ises despertely to understnd, and e is more tn ble tis de me very ppy A year go we left Erope Tis week sl lwys be scred to me I prepre now for tomorrow morning nd beg His contined Virte, Grce nd Force Dy For, te Tird Dy of te Convocation of te ngels I mst now pt my ed peranently into tt grcel stte tt I my enjoy His converstion He told me tt is ow He wold ever see me I ve fond my Elder Broter He s deigned to find nd cre for me My I never sme myself before Him My ngel made me suffle nd twitc ll Glory to Hi I sa finlly mentio tt my dobts as to weter it ws re tig or not were totaly ct by many tings, bt tree minly 1 Tt He explained to me te rebelon of ngels tt made tese spirits pnised by God nd sentenced to seve me and oter men 2 I trew te Cing asking for Yotfl Foly' and received it 3 Finly tat, s I sy, He made me suffle nd be clmsy in His presence (I nay ad and oete onversation wit tis great angei being and consciosness So wat ad aened to e in te Orato? Wen tis diary was originay bised in 976, I did not write an exanation o wat ad aened in te Orato I did not write sc an exanation or two reasons First I togt tat wat aened to e wic ad ased e aw distress was a na test or a agicians atteting to oete te Abraein rita Tis was te ain reason wy I tore ot te reevant age in case it e in to te ands o a tre candidate or tis cereony I aso did not reay nderstand wat ad aened ieen years ater owever teaing one oy Ange co ses at te Findo Fondation I nay nderstood wat d in act apened
The Sen ays o Conseraon
3
I wen no he Orao o a y na rayer askng or ou ncaon wh y Hoy Guardan Ange and hen o awa s resene. I sad he rayer wh al he re and devoon ha were he ax o he sx onhs rearaon ose oens hed al y exeaon ey hed he oay o y syh syhooga and hysa nvesen a he auuaed e and energy o he oen ha I had rs decded o eror hs rua. I oeed y rayer and on y knees y head bowed n abje huy y body ben n au enson y whole beng hrus oard awang he vsaon nohng haened. I waed and here was nohng I waed soe ore and s here was nohng. I cae ou o y sae o nense rayer and nvoaon and ae n o a new awareness an awareness urey o yse y syhe urned ce od n gd se-onsousness. I ood ody a yse. I was aone and y own wness. I saw ysel enveoed n a he hysa and syh arahernaa o he ereony: he robes he a he ncense he aar y ben body a he e and nensy .. And nohng was now haenng. I hd aunhed ysel no a vauu. In hose nues I he wness o yse was boh yn and vanqushed ere were any houghs bu os o a a sense o evehng havng been sred away and I was e wh nohng bu he aearane ere was nohng bu or and aearance The aerass were gh s was a here was Evehng ese ys and dvne was o he ahe huan agnaon . I had been os n ahec anasy and deuson. Ye as I hough a ha I was aso suaneously he ys and agan bu I was he agan who had been oeey vanqushed Ihad red y bes bu n hs na judgeen hd beenound worhess no scras o dvne nsgh o be hrown o e I who had or so ong reognsed yse as wor a leas n y oraons was ruy wor los and loser I u ou he o a and wad back no he house. Franes asked how al was and I dd no answer barely aknowedgng her ung on he ase on oa an wakng as on oran busness I enered he bedroo and oased on he bed y hands and ars roeng and oorng y head I breahed r a whe n dee and norehensbe gass. Then r a whe here were ears bu no dee sobs Ie no a see and was won by he barrassen o an unonroed eer ejauaon . Bu I had beoe ore a And hen I heard a swee and beau voe n y head. "Coe bak no he Orao. Coe bak no he Orao.
14
Te Seven Days o Consecration
nodded stood and waked back to te Orato were I it te a and knet again bere te atar Iet tis resence around e and it soke ceary to e teing e it was y Guardian Ange sen t by God to be wit e and to rotect e and to e e. It tod e tat it oved e wit a te ove o te ost doted arent broter and iend and tat I woud never be aone again Wat I ad not nderstood ten but understood ater in tat workso at Findo was wy it was necessa or e to eave te Orato and ten return . Nowadays wen I teaceoe ow to erceive and attune to oter resences suc as te angeic I try to e te reac a state o carey ocused attention wist at te sae tie staying erecty reaxed and ay so ta t t can be oen to iression o erceive tese oter reaities to be y oen to understanding ones intuitive sesitivity we need to beocused bu t reaxed. n te orato tat dy I was in suc a s tate o intense ocus and concentration tat I ad ost tat ca reaxed recetive state wic is a rerequisite or angeic attuneent reeber yse screwed u beore te atar a bal oe concentration es screwed tigt brow intensey rrowed In te reease tat oowed in te bedroo y terribe tension reaxed. Once was ca and oen again te Ange coud counicate to e.)
Ft Dy of Conjuron ou sall ten robe yourself, takng rst te Wte Vesen, and oer ts you sal put on tat of Slk and Gold, te te Girdle, and upon you ead you sall place te Cro, and you sall lay te Wand upon te tar you sall take you Wand your it and, and pray uto God o e unto ts Wand as muc iue, force and poer as He gae unto tose of Moses, of Aaron, of Elija, and ofte oter Propets ose number is inte No place yoself beside te tar loog toads e oor and te open Teace o if you be in te Couny place yourself at e Weste side, and commence by summoning e Cief Spirits and Prnces Make eac one of them touc te Wand and take te Oat upon tat Wand"
From the nstructons See pages
the Sacred of the
25 epember
(11 30 a) I rose at 530 and entered te Oratory at ten mnutes to sx and I canged nto m Magcans vestments It ad taken me some tme to get to sleep last ngt m mnd racng on WA and m pleasure at s demand (A eter o a iend asking o siria adice) but I ad slept soundl from mngt I was slgtl nervous, but te amusng an savng pont was/s tat mental part of me tat was frgtened was also te same part tat sad ts was al no real tng - ow, terefore, could I ave t bot ways Havng robed mself I fell to my knees and prae as drected n te Book and naturall, b my eart I sortly felt m Angels presence and eard s words How amazng et natural to wrte all ts I stood, wand n m rgt and an Psalm XIC n m left an, and called te four prnces Wtn a few mnutes te came onl twce attemptng to gten me, once wt a great woosng sound tat burnt my back (and te ttle doggy came past) and later pretendng te were bend and treatenng me And ten te dd eac take te corect oat Te marvel was tat m Angel ad so well prepared me over te last sx monts tat te wole tng was done wt te most great an surprsng ease He ad made me so tat m atttude was almost mpeccable an te four pnces knew t was not wort ter wle to cde or nsult or seek to ensnare me Psalm XIC olds great msteres tat gave me muc strengt an understandng Toug I was to constran te four prnces to a ppear n te sape of men, te took no sape and for a wle ts confused me I looked to m Angel for eplanaton and conrmaton an e told me tat as I knew, te were not of gross matter and f tey appeared n a uman sape, t would onl be one of a clc pulle from kamamanasc matter of wc I ad no need M fat was sufcent and I was also too sopstcated tan to wat I ad leaed from te Tbetans books, to need all tat vsualsaton to make t a real tng Tere was also an amusng sde to te wole affar n tat t seemed to me agan tat te wole valle was flled wt specta tors - Spectators - as toug at a boxngmatc and at one pont wen one of te prnces was rluctant concernng s oat, te crowd souted for m to take t, a te Members of te Assembl beg on my se as toug supportng Davd aganst Golat te prnce dd quckl swear Tus was t all exactl as Abraam wrote t And m most beautful belove Angel ad so well taugt me tat t was a easy Wat can I, n words, sa or add about t I now prepare for tomorrow
146
Te Seven Days o Consecration
Last nght great floods of energy were agan passed throuh me My skull, as ever, s stll under great nternal pressure and changng shape I have an unsubstantated theory that n order for ones hgher mental senses and ntutons to be brought nto actvty, actua physcal pressure must be taken off the appropr ate lobes of the bran; obvously(?) the only way to do ths s to enlarge the cranum whc s, n fact, what has been ocurrng wth me Ths must, I thnk, needs be so that all my communcaton with the Angels and sprts - wth the members of the sub or super human Herarches - s done on that hgh ntve level whch s amazngly fast and acut compared to the normal lumbrng mental actons of the bran All the conscous ntellect must do s trust n the realty of ths new form of communcaton and realze how crppled t has prevously been At all of ths am I but a stumblng begnner and I must lea these new rules and methods All that has happned today, has happened ony by the Grace, Favour and Force of God It has nothng to do wth my own vrtue whch is neglgble It s no great thng (though admttedly rare nowadays to put ones tust n God - and that only means to recognze the rea Truths, to be prepared to transmute the sht that s oneself into gold - bt it is a great ting tat aving t ones trst in i He sod ten so avor one In tme ths wll be so for a men Brothers lke myself wll not be the excepton Whn a man rst walk off dry land whch s sold and holdng hm fry, nto water, he must trust that the water wll also hold hm, but n a dfferent fashon from soldly and frmy The man, as we al know, who does not have ths ust wll never be able to swm Frghtened, nrvous chldren must be led and taught lov ngly There must be no fear of anythng I feel, and ths s the mracle, that I am beng lovngly taught wth tolerance and great goodness Ah, but I dare to say that I nged n on my own and am, therefore, recevng ths teachng There ar levels I now lose myse n words that cannot express, that I cannot clary, whch show that ever bfore Hm I am a worm I look forward now to slowng down (530 ) Havng ust been in the Orato to colect the ashes and prepare the lamp, I am remded that I should have mentoned that te four prnces left marks on the sand - surprsngly and funnly, ths startles me It s a real thng Ths afternoon I became nvolved n tryng to loosen Frances personaty om her soul and was greatly provoked - ths follows (te etaorica advice concerning taking a maden to wfe from the
The Seven Days o Consecation
47
Ching (and I had been strangely depressed I am lke a clmsy mpatent chd for the eel of the Phlosophers hateve ths Operaton Ths altogeer rases another pont of to reales and problems of orentaton and crass donkeyle blndness) ny ay the hole andango th the lady caused pan and heavly as then menaced by Beal (the perdous! ) fet as i one o the daeonic beings saced as if caed by y bad ood is was indeed te and I eant qicky that I cod not even conside cetain attitdes and oods as they coned those enegies who I needed to conto and not have as co-ceating coeages The ngel then spoke o me echong my on ords that no I must be for every mnte the ght the Cavaler - f not look hat I lay myself open to Wate the provocaton th these odds there seems lttle choce Depresson is dangeros; t used to be very panl Ths s perhaps an nterestng bt (gulp) of helpful blackma to see me through the next to days or over another hrdle or the same thng Ever p on the spal one s cononted th one's chldshness and yet agan one s - I am - shamed Day Fve the Frst Day of the Conuraton of the Evl Spts: Lcfer Satan Belal and Levathan ll Glory to the One
Second Day of Conjuraon 26 eptember
830 a Ths mornng I th great ease (and th mch help) conured constraned and made take the appoprate oaths the eght sbprnces Last ngh hoever I as extemely gh ened mst no begn to resct hat I am to say s one progresses along the Path there are certan tests and tblatons and t old not be correct for a felloasprant (a dear and loved brother) to be foreaed nd I am ored lest ths dary shold be lost o I may at some pont sh a end o brother o read t t s only completely true that a coete tst n God and the Herarchy ll see one though everythng Last nght my human Teacher made hmself fully knon to me He s the Master R What I rote yesterday conceng that contol (under a threat of blackma) s corect; and that l take me forard Not surpsngly I am assimlatg consderg synthe
148
e S Days o Consecration
sizng Te bggest tng s t trust, trust, ust and be tat nble knog space WA makes me stl very appy and I am layng plans fr m
Td Day of Conjuraon 27 eptember
(1 1 a) Ts mong I successfully cmplete te conuratin and tk all te requred ats I as nt feelg pysically ell and at ne pt tugt tat I as nt gng t be able t endure and old tgeter un te end I as a wle sxty minutes r s constrang tem, tug t te elp y Angel and te Audence t as, n fact, smtly easy tug te spts te servtrs ere mre unruly tan te prnces ere yesterday and te day before T f te famlars ere als smeat rebel lus and cunng, but tey sn beaved nce crectly teat ened I dd, ever, make ne gaff Wt grups t t egt (f te telve, te nes marked on te separate lst) I frgt t propund to tem the sectn cnceng any ne symbls I mgt care to ake or use and so I pulled al egt of tese grups tgether at te same tme t remnd tem It s tecnically nterest ng tat f I focused to ard n seeing tem and talng t tem trug my ana centre, I felt a great electrc gnag at my foreead hc I culd nt at te te endure fr lnger tan ten seconds As t s ts black gnawig' tat used to give me te screamng eebyeebes, I am nt dsmayed
I no gve tanks for seven days, startng m tomrr, and, also startng tmrrw I fast for tree ays befre putting te Operatn to rk Abraam's advce s t remember tat ne is first an apprentce and nly later a master, and s I sall take my tme n learnng ths Art Truly is t a (I nte te medieval style!) mracle te le thng, especally tat fr sx mnts nothing ent rng For tat, tanks And wth sme spstcatn n - toug I am stll learnng ts tut d I say tat Trust s a mst marvllus tg
EPILOGUE An so the ceremony came to a successf concluson I was not then capable of stoppng to gather myself I could not pause to refect upon all that happene I was ncapable of reflecton I was stll caught n the dynamc psychc velocty of concentraton an wlness that ha taken me nto the operaton n the frst place and then seen me through t. I smply could not be calm an reflectve My mn and my psyche were throbbg wth the ntensty and the exerton The terrble ualty that I mentoned so often the ary contnue n the days followng the completon On the one han I ha taken y conscousness through nto new ensons an ha experence, an stll was experencng, an ongong blss an cosmc conscousness I ha aso fuly open the oors of my percepton on to the angelc realm I coul now openly perceve an enter nto telepathc rapport wth ths whole paralel enson But, although open to these transcendent realtes, although now n contnuous mystcal communon wh the transcendent, my personalty and my psyche were stl n ng on an ntense, even manc, rhythm On one hand I was the dscpned and opened mystc On the other I was stl the extreme personalty who had forced y sptual way forwar Ths s a not uncommon sprtual patte, often romantcay escrbe as stormng heaven Reflect, though, on the character trats whch are neeed for such an assault Havg stormed heaven, these tats themselves nee to be tans formed Many mystcs, especally those flled wth fery aspra ton, ten towars crazness Many gurus and mystcal teachers have uncontrollable personalty trats left over from the ynamcs that took them through the spral changes n the fst place So . I ha complete the great ceremony I had acheved the Conversaon I ha opene my mystcal awareness But I stl had that whole complex of personaly characterstcs neeng trans formaton, exacerbated now by the ntensty of the sx onth process and by the new awarenesses an energes I remember my
50
Eog
feelings: Attention! et me fulil my duty! et me save and esuect thigs! et me expess my avataic Mission! duty! To wok! But an extaodinay pocess of healing and futhe tansfo mation, in a completely unexpected guise, was about to take place Fances, thooughly exhausted by the six months, immediately took a thee week beak i ondon, leavg me on my own, and a few days afte he depatue I fell vey On he etun, at he nsistence and at the ugings of some neibous who wee by now despaiing of the colou I had tued, I visited a Fench docto in Maakesh who infomed me that I had a sevee case of HepatitisB I was so ill that he offeed me a bed in his own home and he intiated that my case had pogessed so fa that it might not tu aod We stayed up n the mountains and ay I colapsed com pletely I was on my back fo seveal months, so weak that I was vitually unable to move On seveal occasions I enoyed, in full consciousness, the classic neadeath expeience of being out of my body and pat of a decisionmakng pocess conceg whethe I would live I found these expeiences extemely beautl and deeply eassung death is now a tusted and loving fiend fo me The illess and convalescence lasted almost two yeas Two yeas with no enegy Many months on my back Fo some of the tme my blood was so badly oxygenated that my bain functioned at a tenth of its noma speed Someone would say something to me it would take me two minutes to pocess the ods, undestand them and then come up with a eply by wch time the speake ad moved on I was so ill that I was neithe able to eflect on the ceemony no able to expeiment with its effects In the Summe of 1974 we closed up house and Fances dove us up to Tangie whee we took the fey back to ngland and hee my convales cence continued fo anothe twelve months What a wondeful and extaodinay ilness it was How caefully my own soul o my Teache must have planned it Twenty yeas late I can still think of no moe efficient o economic way of integating my enegies How else could I have calmed my psychic explosion and tansfomed my stoming heaven patten? Fo two blessed yeas I had no enegy to un my speed o my compulsive pesonality I was naly leang what it felt like to be elaxed and simply to be pesent with no action and no thoughts I bean at last to settle down into the awaenesses I had eached ove the six months of the ceemony
Epioge
151
But I need to make clear that the settlng down and the nteraton have been a long and dffcult process whch lasted well beyond te llness and wch only now, almost twenty years later, do I feel nearng completon Ths process has ncluded the roundng and heartopenng that comes from ben a parent; a consstent daly rhythm of slence and medtaton; the develop ment of mental patence through dong unergraduate and post graduate study n socal theory and psychology; the development of emotonal nurture and personalty calm though nne years of workng wth adults and teenagers wth specal needs; teachng and lecturn about magc and medtaton, and attemptng to do ths teachng n a sensble and ntegrated way; attemptng as a daly practse to be open to honesty, ove and transformaton Most of all I do not want to gve the mpresson that the Abrameln Operaton was a sprtual event complete n ts own tmng It was a way of breag throuh nto another world, a world of spt whch has snce called me ever nto deeper exploraton I the years followng the Operaton I changed so much that I was o longer the creature who had attracted and nterested Frances; an I dd not have the slls or the capacty to love her n a way that compensate for my changes The chemstry she and I had was gone and we were left, two new people, two strangers to each other Sadly, we separated n 97, but there was a lberaton n t whch we both reconsed and respected I look back on that perod n Morocco wth deep grattude to her; for I do not ow that on my own I would have had the courae to do the ceremony and she certanly had the courage to be there supportng me and dealng wth the dynamcs, nner and outer, of the whole ntense stuaton Two decades later our frendshp s such that she s the publsher of the book you hold now n your hands Havng opened the oors on to the angelc realms my nterest that feld has expanded and y logcal left bran has remaed suffcently actve that a few years ago I wrote a study paper for the Fndho Foundaton analysn the nature and purpose of the anelc realm Deas Fairies and Anges Gothc Image, 990.) And I be every day by lghtng a candle to the Angel of the landscape or the cty where I wake up The angelc reas are a lvng and relevant realty to me Some readers wl probably want to know f I ever took advan tage of the socalled magcal powers avalable at the completon o the ceremony and I can smply answer that they never nterested me I thought about them for a few days mmedately followng
52
Epiogue
e ceremony's compleion, bu I en fell nd sce en ey ve never empted me In e wese mysery dition cler diincion is mde between low nd ig gic Low mgic is concerned it effects nd penomen; g mgic is concerned i using e spritul tecology' of mgic in order o rns form te dross of one's personlity ino te pure gold of spiri so one cn beter serve e Scred nd one's fello beings e ig mgic, lso known s te Royl P of gic, s eresed me, no e penomen I do, oever, mke use of my skills for clensing cerin sitions But I mde cler decision yers go - les I be inunded wit requests - no to be generlly vilble for indi vidu elp Most ndivuls wo ink ey migt be under ck om occult energies usully need siply eier to c emselves nd disengge from flse drm, or else o clense nd pur eir life syle for wle Spekig fom experience, I m lso of very litle elp i people dignosed s scoprenic or mnic depressive; I is I ere, bu I m not I do, owever, run occsionl rinngs in mgicl work d people o re ier esed cn rie o me, cre of e publser ere re oter reers o migt wonder if I would recom mend e ceremony to oers For we I described e Abrmelin Ceremony s Piscen wy of ow no o do i,' becuse i is n exreme ecnique, belonging to lure of l scrice nd umbling devotion, wic I ssocied wi prircl modes I did not feel pproprie for our emerging nonsexis nd olistic spiriul culure Recenly, owever, I ve begun o feel wrmer owrds i nd perps e riul is ill pproprie for some fol I obviously, oever, requires cerin psycologicl streng f you o consider t, I must dvise you o be very creful nd relisic bou your pycologicl cpbiliies nd limis; even e wellknown occulis, Aleiser Croley, knew is limis nd never performed te Abrmelin Ceremony except s self confessed exercise in is gon If you ve ny doubs do no even consider i ere re mny, mny ps nd ec of us s our on unique wy t I do d vluble in te Abrelin Ceremony is is necesiy for sedscipline I m ppy o be ligned wi e eerging spitul culure kno s new ge' nd I m entusi sic bou every individul ving e rig o coose nd cree eir on spiriul p Bu we need o be creful , in disen gging om te clssicl pts of piriul pproc, e do not
Epilogue
153
aso ose the skills that are essential for traveing the path The word discipline' has an uncomfortable ring about it in the late twentieth century it tones of meaningless authority and obedience But without discipline, any aspiration for spiritual and personal transformation is doomed It is not simply that love and selfreflection need to be balanced by discipline; it is the fact that love and selfreflection actively require discipline in order to be practised o love and to be trutful towards oneself require great sef discipline Equally, there are times when transformation requires no further insights or healing we simply need to get on with te change and do it Sefdiscipline is the fuel for such action I am not here taling about an ignorant attitude that represses pain or ignores the necessity of healing am only echoing what has alway been taught by the many different spiritual schools Forgive the repetition Love, compassion, seice and transformation- they actively require selfdisciple in order to be practised To conclude, what in essence would I like readers to take away from this book? It is, I suppose, this The world into which we are bo is overwelmng i its simulations and apparent necessiies Yet we a of us have an instinct for something deeper, less bound by form We all of us ave an istinct to expand into our real consciousness and to wake up fully to our relationship with ths sacred cosmos The word of form and human society, wih its overwheling stimulations, olds us i deep attraction so that we experience pai as we disengage from it to align with spiritual realities This inner pain, ths fear and anxiety, can prevent us serving and transforming But if we balance our istinct for love with piriual courage then we can truly move forward - for ourselves and for all life
BOK LIST Listed below e te books refered to in te text of Te Sacre agcn Alice Biley,
A Treatse on Cosc Fre Treatse on Wte agc Dsces n te New A Esoterc Astrogy Esoterc Heang Esoterc Psycoo Vol I nd II Fro Betee to Cava Rays an Intatons All: Lucis Press Louis Crpenter, ysteres of Cartres Catera, Riko George Cly (trns), Hnre Thosan Songs of area Hrper orcbook WBCrow Hsto of tccra an Occts Abcus Aleister Crowley, agc n eory an Practce Cstle WY Evnsentz, e Tbetan Book of te Great Lberaton, OUP WY Evnsentz, Tbets Grt Yog area OUP Dion Fortune, Te Csc Doctrne Helios Boks Dion Fortune, Te ystca Qabaa, Benn Mnley Plmer H, Te Secret eacngs of A Ages, e Plospicl Reserc Society Aldous Huxley, Te Doors of Perceton, Pnter Fcis ng, Rta agc n Engan, Spermn imoty Lery, e Ptcs of Ecstasy Pldin Elips Levi, Hsto of agc, der Elips Levi, Transcenenta agc, Rder McGregor Mters (ed), Te Sacre agc f Abraen te age Wtkins 1898 Puwels & Bergier ornng of te agcans Myflower revor Rvenscrof, e Sear of Destny, Corgi Isrel Regrdie, e Tree of Lfe Smuel Weiser Inc Mouni Sdu, e Tarot Allen & Unwin Mouni Sdu, Saa, Allen Unwin Seligmnn, agc, Sernaturas an Regon Pldin 1975 AEWite, e Book of Cereona agc, University Books Ricrd Wilelm (trns), I Chng or Book of Canges, Routledge & egn Pul Colin Wilson, e Occt, Myflower e Zoar, Soncno Press
