The art of speaking
A Special Report By Sinn
Introduction He yg uy s ,t od a yI ’ mgoi ngt ot a l ka bou t“ Spe aki ngWoma ne s e ” which is basically learning to decode the signals that women give. Wome nc ommuni c a t eve r yd i f f e r e nt l yt ha nwedo.The r e ’ sal o to f hidden meaning in what they say and what they do. But, once you get the hang of what they are really saying, life gets much easier. So i nt hi sr e po r twe ’ l lt a keac l os e rl oo ka tawoma n’ st hi nki n ga n d behavior. I ’ mg oi ngt ot a l ka boutt he s edi f f e r e n c e s .Where they come from, why they come about and the general social applications that come about because of the different way women socialize. Plus, we are going to talk about the physical and mental aspects of t h ef e ma l eps y c ho l ogy .Howawoma n’ sme nt a land physical aspects are a major driving for c ebe hi ndmos t , i fno ta l l , ofwo me n’ sb e ha v i or . An d ,y ou ’ l lg e tagoodi de aofhowwoma nt hi nkwhe ni tc ome st o sex and sexual relationships.
Logic VS Emotion Wha t ’ sr e a l l yi n t e r e s t i nga bo utt hewa yme na ndwome n communicate is the different ways that we send signals. Men are generally going to be a little more logical; women are generally going to be a little more emotional Men are very, very logical. We are much more verbally direct and we are more physically direct too. We touch. We grope and we grab. We awkwardly state interest ... and we hit on girl s .Tha t ’ sba s i c a l l y how we communicate. Women on the other hand kind come equipped with a more sophisticated way of communicating. A lot of it comes from the fa c tt ha twome ndon’ tl i k es oc i a l discomfort. Most of the time they want to do what society thinks is right. What do I mean and what does it all boil down to?
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It comes down to the two basic drives that drive men and women have. Drives which are different. Once of which is the drive to have a f a mi l yt onu r t u r ea ndt ogr ows ome t hi n goft he i rown, t ha t ’ st h ev e r y feminine drive. Some guys have that drive very strongly later in life, but generally, men have more of a drive to achieve a passion or a purpose.Tha t ’ s something that drives men more. So now I ’ mg oi n gto talk about where these differences come from, how they kind of come about and what general social applications happen because of the different ways women socialize.
Social Awkwardness: Why do women hate social awkwardness? Because, women have a bunch of very intricate social values and social hierarchies that feel they have to follow. When women are out socializing - especially when they are out at clubs with their friends or in other social situations - they play very intricate games because of these social values and hierarchies. Wha td oIme a n?Wome n’ ssocializing depends on a very specific e n dg o a l .Wha t ’ st hee ndgo a l ?Eve r ygi r lwa nt st oe ndupwi t hag ood emotional outcome. The end goal for every girl who goes out is to feel good ... to experience good emotions. No w,y o uc a ns a yp a r toft he s e“ go ode mot i on”i n vo l ve ss e x .Whe n girls are out partying, sex is a big part of those good emotions they want. Women like being hit on, especially by the guys s he ’ sa t t r a c ted to. Another part of these good emotions is being with her friends and experiencing a lot of fun, freedom and excitement. Again, all of these are good emotions. So when girls go out, they want to feel good, to have those good emotions. A lot of the time they might even want to get laid, but somehow these social values and hierarchies get in their way.
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How? Well, there are a couple of things that stop women from just b a n gi n ge v e r y b odyt he ywa n t .But ,mo s t l yi t ’ st he i rs oc i a l programming.
Social Programming: Remember earlier I mentioned that women have a social hierarchy? We l lag i r l ’ ss oc i a lh i e r a r c hyha sbe e npr ogr a mme da ta ne a r l yage. And women like to impose this social hierarchy onus .He c kt he y ’ v e done it all of their lives. You see; women have endured years of sexual brainwashing. From early on their parents teach them to say NO. Not to mention the dozens of organizations and various other bodies, such as the Christian Church, the Harems in ancient Egypt. They did the same. All of thes egr ou psa ndp e opl es t e pp e du pa nds a i ddo n’ th a ves e x . They told girls to wait. Said that it ’ sbest to be monogamous and that sex is supposed to be special and shared; that sex should be amazing and this, that and the other. It goes on and on! So, at an early age, women think sex is taboo. Tha t ’ swhe r eal o to f the anti-slut defense comes from. It comes because of the societal rules laid down by men. Society tells girls that they should stay virgins. That i t ’ sbad for a girl to sleep around, etc. And, maybe for good reason! It ’ sc e r t a i nl yalittle more dangerous for girls to sleep around; primarily because girls can get pregnant. In theory, if there wa s n ’ ta ny laws and societal stuff, guys could just go around impregnating every girl he slept with without any consequences. He could keep moving a r ou n da n dwou l dn’ tr e a l l yl o s ea ny t hi n ga sl on ga shedi dn ’ tge ta ny STDs, right? The reputational value of having a kid out of wedlock is still bad. Ofc o ur s ei t ’ snot as horrible now. Single mothers have gotten a lot mor ea c c e pt a bl er e c e n t l y ,b uti t ’ ss t i l ls ome t hi n gt ha t ’ sgoi ngt oa dd some baggage. Girls with kids usually have a story ... a bad guy ... a r e l a t i o ns h i pt h a tdi dn’ twor ko ut , e t c .And ,nows h e ’ sr a i s i ngt h ek i dby herself. Plus, girls with a kid can have consequences; not necessarily
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bad consequence, because some people like kids, but still consequences nonetheless. So this is the type of stuff that girls think about. Plus girls that have sex and flaunt it are looked down upon by other girls. They often get harassed, called sluts and thought of as skanky, etc.
Social Hierarchy: An d , i nawa ywec a n’ tbl a met h e m.Eve r ys i nc ewewe r eki ds we ’ v ec a t e g or i z e dpe opl e ,putt he mi nt odi f f e r e ntgr oup s .The popular kids are always picked first. They are picked first for sports teams, for homecoming king and queen, the prom king and queen ... and this, that and the other. In general, our social structure flows from the bottom up, kind of like a pyramid. With the wide part of the pyramid representing the not so cool people, because there are so many of them. The top represents a few, rare, really cool people. Get it? Cool guys want cool girls. But the coolest people are the rarest to find, so what happens when the coolest guys want to have virginal girls and the girls get all hung up with that social programming and say no. Well, a lot of the time guys get really mad at girls because they wo n ’ tho oku p .Wet h i n k, l i k e ;oh, t he y ’ r ebi t c he s , andt he y ’ r ehol d i n g o ut , a ndt he y ’ r edoi ngt hi s ,t hatan dt he other thing. Tr o ub l ei s ,gi r l sr e a l l yc a n ’ twi n.If girls fuck they get picked on, if t h e yd o n’ twet r e a tt he ml i kes hi t .And, i t ’ snotl i kea l lof this sexual r e pr e s s i o ni st o t a l l ya l lt hegi r l ’ sf a ul te i t he r . Girls are just playing by a set of social rules and hierarchies that were predetermined years ago by men. So ,y o uc a n ’ tr e a l l yg e tma da tg i r l s , since we sort of created a lot of that sexual stuff. Probably bec a us ewe ’ v egotal otofs e x ua li s s ue stoo ... more than we let on anyway!
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That ’ sWhen the Claws Come Out! Le t ’ sl oo ka tho ws oc i a lp r o gr a mmi nga ndh i e r a r c hywor k.Le t ’ s say there are two girls and both girls are pretty equal physically. They both look hot. Fo rt h i se xa mpl e ,l e t ’ sus eaJersey theme and call one girl Vicky and the other Barbie. So Vicky and Barbie are like best friends, until one night they go to the club and end up liking the same super hot guy. They both compete over this hot guy and Vicky wins. Vicky gets laid and Barbie gets pissed off. So now they hate each other, but since they know the same people they still end up going to the same clubs. Sohe r e ’ st h eque s t i o n:Whoha smor es oc i a lpowe r ?Th eon ewh o ’ s higher on the pyramid ... the one who got the guy, right? So since Vicky got the guy she has more social power... she won right? So what happens? Barbie says something like: Oh, well, you know she just a slut. She was cheating on him. I saw her suck this g uy ’ sd i c ki nt heba t hr o omt wowe e k sa go, e t c . So no wa l lofas u dd e ns he ’ splaying the social game. She pulled out that social hierarchy card to raise her own social value and to lower her friend’ s social value. I td o e s n’ tt a kewome nl o ngt of i gur eou t that sex is a powerful weapon; a weapon that can be used against another woman to lower their social power. Yet, if I was the guy who got my dick sucked in the club by Vicky, and she was in a relationship at the time, tha tdoe s n ’ tnecessarily mean I look bad. It may make me look a little bit scummy, but scummy in a way that attracts girls, as opposed to hanging out in the Camaro in a parking lot at a high school. That would really make me look scummy.
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So what stops women from getting laid? Female sex drives are very, very powerful, much more powerful than men; especially as women get older. Women tend to hit their sexual peak around thirty-two, whereas men hit their sexual peak around eighteen. This means that for us guys, when we are out clubbing, dating or enjoying the single scene, we get further and further away from our sexual peak whereas women get closer and closer to theirs. When it comes to sex most women are just like we are. The same as we walk down the street and get aroused by a hot girl; women check out guys too. They see a cute guy and they want him. Maybe he reminds them of some guy they used to like, or a guy they had a crush on when they were like ten or something, or a guy that fits the stereotype that they are attracted to. Who knows, but e v e r yno wa ndt he ny o u’ l lge tgi r l swh o r e a l l yd o n’ tgi v eaf uc ka b outs oc i a lpr o gr a mmi ng or what others think. The type that will pretty well fuck anyone and be proud of it. These types tend to be a little older. Mostly because the y ’ vea l r e a dy g on et h r o ught ha t“ t r y i ngt od owh a ts o c i e t ywa nt s ”phase and now t h e y ’ r eab i tb i t t e rabout relationships and what society thinks. Ma y b et h ewhol ema r r i a get hi ngi s n ’ tf ort he m.Th e ydo n’ twa n tt h e wh o l emo noga myt h i ng ,b e c a us et h e y ’ v ebe e nbur ne dbe f o r e .Pl us ,a s they get older they get closer and closer to their sexual peak. Whatever the reason, just realize that women get attracted like we do. Women check out just as many guys, as we check out girls, maybe even more.
Women Get Aroused More Sensually! So if women are just as horny as we are, especially as they age, what stops them from going out and just fucking every dude, they think is attractive?
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I t ’ sbe c a us ewome nge ta t t r a c t e di nad i f f e r e n twa y .Me na r emo r e visually aroused. We see a hot ass or a nice pair of tits and sometimes t h a t ’ sa l li tt a k e s . Women get aroused more sensually. And, because of all the good e mo t i on st he y ’ r ea f t e r ,t he i rs e n s ua l l yseems to touch all of their senses: hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling and touching -- all of that kind of blends into the overall process. So when girls go out, remember they want to feel good, to have those good emotions. And, in most cases they really want to get laid, but somehow all that social programming gets in their way. But getting them aroused sensually helps.
Club Competition! Another thing about psychology that you have to remember is that i t ’ sac ompe t i t i on ,e s pe c i a l l yi nc l ubs .Ba r snots omuc h, but clubs competition is huge! And, th e r e ’ sa l wa y sahi e r a r c hyo fc oolpeople and the girls who go out them. When girls go out, especially in groups their goal is to be the coolest, funniest girl at the party and meet the coolest, hottest guys. So ,g i r l sdr e s sbe t t e r ,t he y ’ l ltell you they know this person and that person, they know this, that or the other, just to stand out. For girls th a t ’ swha tma ke sagoodn i gh t .(Now of course a good n i gh tc a ni n c l ud es e x ,i ft heg uykn owswha the ’ sdo i ng .Buto f t e nt h e guy never makes a move.) Yo u ’ l le v e ns e es omegr o up sofgi r l st h a ta c t ua l l ygi vet he ms e l v e s names and stuff. Like the Sex and the City girls were in their twenties. (They would have weird like The Lions or something.) These types of groups exist, and within them each girl usually has a different role. I know it sound crazy, because it is! It’ sr e a l l ywe i r dt h ewa yt h e club-culture works. But each girl will have a little role in helping them be the coolest girls in the club.
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Yo u ’ l lha veagi r lt ha t ’ sr e s p ons i b l e ,the driver; another will be the flirt who gets all the drinks, then you have the girl who knows people, the girl who gets people in, etc. So when girls go out they have a big goal and a local goal. The big goal is to be the coolest girls and to meet the hottest guys and the local goal is to make sure that they are all following their individual role goals. Tha t ’ swhy girls will police themselves. And, whyi t ’ sa c t ua l l y easier to get same-night lays when t he r e ’ samixed group of guys and girls. When groups are mixed, and at the end of the night there is a guy or two guys and another girl (or a couple) and the conversations goes something like: He y ,we ’ re going to go back to my place and hang out for a bit, so we ’ l ls e ey o ugu y sl a t e r , i twasn i c et ome e ty ou; and the g i r l ’ sa r egoing along with it, guy swo n’ t say: No, wait, you said you were coming home with us, and we made a pact... whereas the girls can. So, one of the reasons girls will do that is because they have that overall goal of trying to be the coolest, hottest girls. Heck, you ’ l ls e e girls cock-block each other, even when they are with guys who have a lot of values or guys who are really cool. Some girls will just cock-block each other, because it makes the whole group look bad as a whole. They may talk about a slutty looking group or girls. Say something like: Oh my gosh! The y ’ r es u c hs l ut s ; t h e yd o n ’ tha v ean yvalues. So to avoid this from happening, girls police each other: Remember a girl’ s behavior is influenced by:
Lack of social awkwardness Policing each other Maintaining social reputation, and Being a social climber
Yes, women are social climbers! They are attracted by social values. And, the more they seem to have, the better.
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Does that mean that social value is the only thing that’ si mp or t a nt ? Absolutely not! You are not in danger of some cooler guy just coming along any minute and stealing your girlfriend or wife because of it, but know that in every segment of life –whe t he ri t ’ st h ePTA,a taclub, in a sororities, or a volunteer group - women have a tendency to try to climb to the top of the social hierarchy. I t ’ sj u s tt ha twomen want to get as high socially as they possibly can. They want to have as much socializing control over events and activities as possible. I t ’ spa r to ft he i rna t u r e . So, if a girl is in a club group, i t ’ sn otu nc ommonf o rhe rt os wi t c h groups, or start dating someone from another group, just to raise her social value. I t ’ sa l s oi mpor t a ntt oknowt ha tge ne r a l l ygi r l swi l lnotmove down social hierarchies in order to date, but they will move up social hierarchies to date. Espe c i a l l yt her e a l l yho tg i r l s , i t ’ sr e a l l yu n l i ke l y t h a tt he y ’ l lda te people they think are beneath them socially. I fy o ud o n’ ta c tl i ket het y peofg uy ,a ndy oudon ’ th a v et hei d e nt i t y t ok e e pt h et y p eofg i r lt ha ty ouwa nt ,y o u’ r enotgoing to be able to magically swoop in their with a lot of game and pluck some girl wh o ’ s used to like partying with celebrities, and put her into some lifestyle wh e r es h e ’ se a t i ngs u s hi ,a n ds ome bo dya thomer e a di ngc omi cbo o ks a n dwa t c h i ngTV;be c a u s et ha t ’ sno the rki ndo fs e gme nti nl i f e , a nda l l girls are different. Soi t ’ sve r yimportant that you know wha tt y peo fgi r ly ou ’ r e looking for, for the type of relationship you want. I ’ vet a l ke dabout that a lot, and I will continue to harp on it, be c a us eIt hi nki t ’ soneo ft he most important points overall in dating. Tha t ’ sk i ndo fa little of the thinking behind why women are going to act like they do, the anti-slut defense, ther e a s onswhygi r l swo n ’ t even flake. A lot of guys are very confused by flakes, but, he r e ’ st h e thing, if you make a girl feel uncomfortable every time you call her, she’ sgo i ngt oe ndu pa t t a c h i ngabun c hofuncomfortable emotions with you. Women are very good at associating emotions with people.
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On the other hand, i fy ouma k eagr e a tf i r s ti mpr e s s i ons h e ’ sgo i n g to be really, really happy to hear from you, you make a bad impression, s h e ’ sgo i ngt ober e a l l y , r e a l l yu ps e tt ohe a rf r om y o u…a n dt ha tg o e s back to the idea that women are more emotional than men. How she f e e l st hema j or i t yoft het i mey ou’ r et oge t he rwi l lb et h e emotional temperature that she remembers. I fs h e ’ sf e e l i n gl i k e : Oh my God, I really like this guy, I want to be around him all the time;t h a t ’ s g oo d .I fs h e ’ st hi nk i ng ,I ’ mnots ur eaboutt hi sgu y ,he ’ sal i t t l ewe i r d; and you keep calling, and calling then you fall into “ ne e dy ”v e r y quickly. So you want to be aware of what her emotional temperature is at all times. The idea is, she is emotionally experiencing something every t i me , a nds h e ’ sgo i n gt ogi vey ouc l ue sa st owh a ti ti s ,b e c a us ewome n are not just going to come out and tell you these things. Girls will rarely say what they want; what women say they want, and what they actually respond to obviously are two very, very different things. But very few girls are going to come right out and say something like: I t h i nki t ’ sr e a l l yhot to get shoved during sex, and I like being thrown against things, and I like having my hair pulled, being bitten, being taken up the ass, and experimenting with weird-group scenarios. Tha t ’ sjust not going to happen most of the time. Like I said before, because of the social consequences, they have to pay lip-service to those social rules. They do n’ twa n tt ob er e s po ns i b l e for sexual or the relationship's escalation, mainly because of that role that they play in society of being socially oppressed.
Pushing The Interaction Forward Pushing the interaction forward is YOUR responsibility! It ’ sy ou r j o bt odot h ee s c a l a t i ng.You’ r et heonewhohas to move thing forward. This mean that you have to take responsibility for every escalation, take responsibility for meeting her, approaching her, touching her,
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moving her, getting her phone number, trying to lead her back to your place, setting up a date, etc. etc. etc. Men lead ... wome ndon’ t ... so get over it. If y o ud o n’ tl i kei t ,Id on’ tkno wwh a tt ot e l ly ou .Women are just more attracted to guys who lead. Most women don’ twant to take on t h a tr e s p ons i b i l i t y ,s ot he ynor ma l l ywon’ t . Of course, there can be plausible deniability. With women plausible deniability is huge. This means that a girl can explain away her behavi o rs ot ha ts hedoe s n’ th a v eto take responsibility for what happened or the escalations that have just happened. These are key when it comes to threesomes, which we are going to cover later in the year. But for now just remember that you always have to provide a reason for everything. Everything you do should have a good reason attached, but not the real reason. Yo uc a n’ tj us tdi r e c t l yc omeouta n ds a y ,“He y ,c omeover h e r ewi t hmef o ras e c ond ”... and when the girl asks “Why ?”... you say, “Well, I know that I need to move you around in the venue a lot so y o uf e e ll i k ey o u’ v ek nownmel ong e r ,plus I want to get you out of your friends’v o i c er a nges oIc ant al kd i r t yt oy o u”.Tha t ’ sn otgoi ngto work. Instead say something like, “He y ,we ’ r eg oing to go over here for a s e c o n d, Ij us tr e al l ywan tt os i tdown”and then you sit down and you put her on your lap. Or say something like, “He y !I ’ mr e al l y ,r e a l l y hungry. I have these great cookies at home and I really want one, why d on ’ ty o uc o meba c kwi t handI ’ l lgi v ey ouone ,buty ouc a n’ ts t ay long.” Just remember to never make it her fault! Even if she accuses you of bad stuff, you can turn it around on her and make it her fault, but in a playful way. Never seriously make it her fault. He r e ’ swhat I mean. For example, if she says, “ You’ vedo net hi st oal oto fgi r l sha v e n’ t y ou ? ” ;y ouc a ns a y ,“ No ,i t ’ sj u s ty ou rf a u l tf o rbe i ngs oc ut e ” . . . but r e me mb e rk e e pi tpl a y f u li t ’ snever ever her fault.
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He r e ’ sa n o t he ri mpor t a ntt i p .Be c a u s eofagi r l ’ ss o c i a l programming, if you want her to go home with you should always give her a reason she can tell her friends. Why? So when they ask her what happened the night before, where s h ewe n t ,e t c . . . . s hewon’ tha v et os a y : Wow, I was really horny and wanted to get fucked so I just went with this guy because I knew he was going to fuck me. Tha t ’ sne ve ra good strategy. Instead help her have a more planned out r e s p ons e .Re me mbe rs he ’ sg oi n gt opa yl i ps e r v i c e to that societal thinking, so help her come up with an acceptable story. One time, right in front of me, a girl tha tI ’ v es l e p twi t hon the first night told her friend that wedi d n’ ts l e e pwi t he a c hot he runtil the third or fourth date. Even though I was there, I know I had sex with her the first time we met, but the reason is, they want to look good socially. Tha t ’ swhyIuse this fact to my advantage. I ’ l lbring a girl in on this and say something l i k e ,“ Loo ky ou’ r eg oi ngt oge tcock-blocked, so y ou’ v eg ott og i v ey ou rf r i e ndsar e a s ony ou’ r ecomi n gh omewi t hme ” . Or ,I ’ l ls a y .“Loo k , Iac t u al l yk i ndofl i k ey o u,s oI ’ mnottelling my friends that I met you in a bar because t hat ’ sr e al l yt a c k y . So where did weme e t ?”AndI ’ l lgot hr ou gh a role playing scenario to nail down the details about where we met. Another thing I do is say, “Lo okI ’ mno tma k i ngou twi t hy o ui na bar—t ha t ’ sr e al l y , r e al l y ,t ac k y .Asmuc hasIwa ntt ok i s sy ou, I ’ mno t going to do it in ab ar ,s od on ’ tg e ta nyi de as ”... a ndIa c t ua l l ywon ’ t do it. In fact, I actually won’ tkiss girls in bars, mostly, because I found that I never get laid quite as often if you do. Instead while at the bar I maintain t hes e xua lt e ns i ont hr oug hou tt heni ght .I ’ l lget into dirty talk i fs h e ’ si n t oi t , a n dt e a s e , a ndt e a s e ,and tease, and when the kiss finally h a p pe n s ,i t ’ sa bo utabi l l i ont i me s more powerful,a n dy oudo n ’ tg e tas much cock-blocking. But I will draw societal attention to stuff like that. Basically, you do n’ tma keou twi t hs ome b odyyou just met in a bar. Why? Because it shows people tha tI ’ mc oo la ndt h a tI ’ mn otg o i n g to do anything weird to make a girl look like a slut. If I demonstrate concern about her social reputation, by talking about how discreet I am, when we get to stuff later it actually escalates
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a lot faster. I t ’ slike I create space for it to start escalating, because she knows thatI ’ mnotg oi ngt owe i rd her out or anything. Or to get freaked out and tell people that I banged some slut. Tha t ’ sake yt hi n g;respect is really big with girls in general. As long as you show the girl that her open sexuality is not something that affects your respect for her, y ou ’ r ei ngoodc ompa ny . I ’ v eda t e da lot of girls who are more ofwha tIc a l l“ upper class”... sophisticated like sorority debutants and stuff. Those types of girls are really wild and freaky when you get them into bed. But when these girls get into normal society situation they act super-proper. They often wo n ’ teven kiss you on the cheek. Soi t ’ sr e a l l yi mpor t a ntt ha ty ous h owt h eg i r lt ha ty our e s pe c th e r no matter what, Andt ha ty out h i nks h e ’ sc oo lnoma t t e rwha t .She ’ s got to know that the sex stuff is just fun stuff that will be kept between you and her. The guys who are really good at this understand that the sex is not a big, crazy deal. Girls want sex as much as guys do and that nobody needs to know about it. Because the more people that know about it the less people will want to have sex with you, because women don ’ twa nt all those bad emotions from having sex. Now obviously, you won’ tever say anything like that to them. But t h a t ’ st h eoverall kind of thinking that you need to do, and demonstrate, i fy o ur e a l l ywa ntt ounde r s t a ndawoma n’ sps y c hol ogya ndt oma s t e r this stuff. So, within those social levels, girls need to be fully respected even wh e nt he y ’ r er e j e c t i ngy ou.Alot of the things that women do, have a way of being scooted a r oun db e c a us ei t ’ sc ons i d e r e dasocial violation. So, basically the idea is that girls have cognitive dissonance, right? No girl … even the girls who go out and blow guys off super-hard want to think of themselves as bitches. Th e ydon ’ twa ntt oe ve rthink: I ’ mt h et y peof girl who is a bitch and blows guys off; so they have to rationalize it. Women are constantly looking for rationalizations.
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What do women really mean? When girls met guys they have all sorts of comments and opinions. Some they will tell to your face, others only to their friends. This section will cover those comments and reveal what they really mean. Lame and boring is a good reason to blow someone off, but girls wi l ln e v e rt e l lag uyt ha th e ’ sl a mea n db or i n g.I ns t e a d, t he y ’ l lg i v e short answers, not elaborate on any point, not laugh at anything the p e r s o ns a y s .The y ’ l lgi vek i ndofgi vewe i r dpl a i nt i ves mi l e swi t ht h e i r eyebrows a little bit raised, and basically just give him enough rope to h a n gh i ms e l fu nt i lhes a y ss ome t hi n gr ude …ors ome t h i ngt h a ta l l o ws t h e mt os huthi mo utpo l i t e l y ,l i k e ;“ Don ’ ty ouguy swa ntt ot a l kt o me ? ”I fy o u’ r ebe i n gt r e a t e dt h i swa y ,ma y bei t ’ sbe c a us ey ou’ r e coming across lame and boring. So what do girls consider a “ nice guy” ?Aguy ’ swho’ sj u s t b l a t a n t l ya ve r a ge .He ’ st hee mot i ona le qu i va l e ntoft h ef a tc hi c k , t h e average chick. Nothing good, nothing bad, just very vanilla, very bland—nice, boring; polite, boring; friendly, should be good, but could be a little too much. Wi t hn i c eguy s ,gi r l spr oba b l ys a ys ome t hi ngl i ke ,“ We l ly ouk n ow, we ’ r ej u s tha vi n gac onv e r s a t i onbe t we e nf r i e nd s ,b uty ou’ r er e a l l y n i c e . I t ’ sn i c eme e t i ngy ou” . The nt he yl oc khi mout of the c o n ve r s a t i on.I t ’ spo l i t ea n dt he ydon ’ tha v et obeab i t c h.Muc hb e t t e r t h a n , “ Dud e , wedon’ twa n tt ot a l kt oy ou,g e ta wa y ” .Mos tg i r l sa r en o t comfortable saying that. I fy o u ’ r et h et y peofguywhogi r l sde s c r i bea s“ really nice” , wh a t they’ r er e a l l ys a y i ngi st ha ty oua r ea bit boring. No one that masters t h i ss t u f fwo u l dbec a l l e d“ really nice” .However, being known as really nice is okay too, but realize that most women may find you a bit boring. So, what does it mean when a girl says,“ He was creepy! ”and how does that translate into real life? Well, “ He was creepy! ”translates into he either the guy did too much touching or he spooked her. Meaning he made her feel uncomfortable.Hej us twa s n ’ tpaying enough attention to her comfort levels.
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So, h e ’ sc r e e py , would mean too touchy, it could be leaning in, it could be not releasing your touching early enough, it could even be that you were talking with your hands too much, but creepy is generally going to go with touching, and leering; staring, getting caught looking a tt h egi r l ’ sb r e a s tal o t ,o rc he c ki nghe ro utt oomuc h ,o rc he c k i ngo ut other girls. Doa nyoft hos et hi n gsa ndgi r l swi l lt h i nky ou ’ r ecreepy! Of course there are a several different levels of comfort, which the next section will explain. In the meantime, le t ’ sl ooka ts omeot h e rc omme nt s .Le t ’ sj us tb e friends. Le t ’ sj us tb ef r i e n dsf r o map i c kupc o nt e xta c t ua l l yme a n s ,I d on ’ twa ntt ot a l kt oy oua ny mor e .Pi c kupi snotho wpe opl eg e ne r a l l y become friends. Obviously there are exceptions to this. I have had sex with girls who have later said: l e t ’ sj us tbef r i e n dsa n dt h a t ’ swo r k e d out really well. But generally, if youa s kf oragi r l ’ sph onenumbe r ,ork e e pa s k i nga girl out, or you take her out and then she says, “Le t ’ sj us tbef r i e n d s .” s h e ’ sr e a l l ys a y i ng ,I ’ mn oti n t oy ouata l l . Remember, pe opl edon’ tg e n e r a l l ygot oba r st of i ndf r i e n ds .I t ’ s mor el i ke l yt ha ty ou’ l lda t epe o ple you meet in bars, because friends are going to hang out for long a long period overal otoft i me s .I t ’ sa b i gc ommi t me n t .The r e ’ smo r ec ommi t me ntt oaf r i e nd s hi pt ha ni ti st o g oo nad a t eon c e ,s oi t ’ sr e a l l yj us tan i c ewa yo fl e t t i ngy oudown. Now, if you actually wantt obef r i e nd swi t ht hi sgi r la ndy o udo n’ t want to have sex with her, then agree and actually continue and pursue a friendship. J us tc on s t a n t l yr e mi ndhe r ,i fs h et r i e st of l a keo rdo e s n ’ t wa ntt oh a ngo ut ,t ha ty o uj u s twa n tt obef r i e nd sa ndy ou’ r eno tt r y i ng to get into her pants. A lot of girls will flake out o ny ou, e v e nwh e ny ou’ r ej u s tt r y i n gt o be their frie n d, be c a us et h e yt hi nky ou’ r ej us tusing some kind of a pickup technique or something. The r e ’ sal o tofguy swhobe c omef r i e n ds. . . whob e c omeo r bi t e r sa s we call it in the community ... and they basically just hang out with hot girls as the y ’ r ef r i e nd sas part of an eight-y e a rs e duc t i onpl a n. Tha t ’ s n otg oi n gt owo r k. Soi fy ou’ r edo i ngt h a ts t opi tr i gh tn ow.
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Be friends i fy our e a l l ywa n tt obef r i e nds ,butdon’ tu s el e t ’ sj u s tb e friends as awa yofge t t i n gg i r l s ,be c a u s ei t ’ sj u s tgo i ngt oc r e a t e problems later on. Girls will remind you about it, then you look d i s ho ne s t ,a n di t ’ snotg oo dt ode ve l opar e l a t i o ns h i pf o un da t i ono n that. Ofc o ur s e ,It hi nki t ’ sagr e a ti de at oa c t ua l l yha vef emale friends. I think you learn a whole lot about girls from girls. Ia l s ot hi nki t ’ sar e a l l ygo odi de at owa t c hs howsl i keSex and the City, or if you can stomach them, even Soap Operas, because you get a real insight into both female fantasy and female reality in those types of shows. Plus, you also see the swell of emotions, the whole logic and general values and societal teachings that get tossed out the window wh e nt her i g htki ndofguyc ome sa l o ng.Soi t ’ sr e a l l yp r e t t yr e a l i s t i c . A lot of the interactions between guys and girls are real, especially in Sex and the City.I ’ vel e a r ne dqui t eabi tf r omt ha ts h ow. An o t he rc omme n ty oumi ghthe a ri s ,“ I have a boyfriend”. I have a boyfriend, could mean a couple of things. I have a boyfriend could me a ny o u’ r ehi t t i ngonmea ndI ’ mn oti n t e r e s t e d .Ge ne r a l l y ,y o u ’ l lge t that if you do a daytime approach; or you go really, really direct. For example, if you say: “ Hey, I noticed you from across the park, a n dIt hi n ky ou ’ r ea bs ol ut e l ya d or a bl e , Iwa nt e dto come over here and meet you—I ’ mJ on ” ,e t c .. . .a nds her e pl i e s :“ Sorry, I have a b oy f r i e nd ”. Basically, tha tme a n sI ’ mnoti n t e r e s t e di ny oui nt ha twa y . It may or may not mean she actually does have a boyfriend. It may just be a polite way of blowing you off. Often girls say they have a boyfriend because i t ’ sar e a l l ye a s ywa y to get rid of a guy. Of course, she could have boyfriend and be telling you that she just wants you to know what the situation is. Soy oud o n ’ t get too attached. I ’ mn o tabi gbe l i e ve ri nt he“ every girl cheats ”school of thought. I d on ’ tt h i nkt ha t ’ sp a r t i c ul a r l yt r ue ,It hi nkmos tg i r l sa r ep r e t t yhon e s t a n dl oy a lwh e nt h e y ’ r ei nf ul f i l l i ngr e l a t i on s hi ps . I just think most girls and guys settle to easily. So you have to be aware that most people that are settling or in a settled relationship
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usually means that all bets are off. They are just going with the status the relationship as it is at that time. So, sometimes girls will say they have a boyfriend because they wanty out okn owt h a ty ou’ r enotgo i ngt os e et he me v e r ywe e k,a nd that this may just be a one-time thing. I nt h a tc a s ewh a t ’ sgoi n gt oha p pe ni st he y ’ r egoi n gt odr opi ti n like: Oh, yeah my boyfriend. . . ort he y ’ re going to say something like, “ We go to thes h ow… or me and my boyfriend do that, this, or the o t he r ”…buti twi l lc omef u r t h e rinto the conversation. The further into the conversation when the boyfriend thing comes up, the easier it is to get around it. If you get that line upf r o nt ,y ou ’ r emos t likely stopped. Unless you are a real confident guy, in which case you can openly state that you are g oi n gt opur s ueh e rde s p i t et hef a c tt ha ts heha saboy f r i e nd. . .t h a t ’ s what I do. Ba s i c a l l y , Ij u s ts a y ,“ Oka yt ha t ’ sc o ol ,do e shet r e a ty ouwe l l ? ”and s h eus u a l l ys a y s ,s ome t h i ngl i ke ,“ Ye a hh edoe s ” .The nIs a y , I wo u l dn ’ t. . . t he nIk e e pt a l k i ng.An di fs heb r i ng si tu pa ga i nIs a y , “ He ’ spr ob a bl ygoi ngt obepr e t t yma dt ha ty ou ’ r ef l i r t i ngme. . .y ou s h ou l dp r ob a bl ys t o p,y ouknow,I ’ mde f i ni t e ly trying to get into your p a n t s , s oi t ’ spr o ba b l yaba di de a . ” Because when I do that I create a little bit of a societal matrix. Normally, woman will continue flirting, because she wants to prove t h a ts he ’ si nd e p e nde nt .She wants to show you that she can flirt, and that she has control over her own emotions. Wha tI ’ md oi n gi s challenging her and usually the more she flirts and the better it feels, the more likely she is to hook up with me. Wha tI ’ mr e a l l yd oi ngi ss a y i ng.“ I ’ mr e a l l yc ha r mi nga n dI ’ m definitely trying to get in your pants so you should run away, because youne ve rkn o w”. . .So more than not she’ l lsay, “ We ’ l ls e e !” I end up creating a little trap where I get really powerful emotions all stirred up. But it also plays up the fact that she has to keep objecting, which add sexual tension... good tension. Of course, I have to take
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responsibility for the escalation, which is something I talked about earlier. Another c omme n ty ou’ l lh e a ri s :“ We ’ r enotha v i n gs e x ” .We ’ r en o t having sex means Iwa st h i nki n ga bou tha vi n gs e xa n dwe ’ r ea l mos t certainly going to have sex. We ’ r en oth a vi ngs e xi sl i ke , t hes ho wdowna tt heO.K. Corral in one-night stands and in getting girls back to your house and stuff. I t ’ son eoft hos et hi ngs ,wh e r ei fy oudo n’ tpul li toutf i r s t , s he ’ s d e f i ni t e l ygoi n gt opul li touta n d,y oud on’ twa n tt obel e f tbe h i n dt ha t 8th ball. You might hear this one just as y ou ’ r epu l l i n gt heg i r loutoft h eb a r o rc l u b, o rwhe ny ou’ r et r y i ngt oge th e rt oc omeba c kt oy ou rpl a c efor ad a t e .She ’ sl i ke ,“ Look, we ’ r enotge t t i ngl a i d ,s odo n’ tt hi nky ou ’ r e g e t t i n gl a i d” ,l i ke :Don’ tt hi nkt hi si smei nv i t i ngy o uu pt os e et hev i e w or something. What she really means is “I ’ l lmak eoutwi t hy o u”. When a girl s a y st h a ti ss he ’ st hi nki nga b outi t , s hek nowsi t ’ sgo i ngwe l l ,s os h e k no wsy oua r et h i nki n ga bou ti t .Sos he ’ sge t t i n gi ti nt ot h eope n.Sh e ’ s r a i s i n ghe ro bj e c t i on s ,s ot ha tI ’ l ls t a r tc onvi nc i nghe rt h a twes hou l d h a v es e x.Th a t ’ sba s i c a l l ywh a t ’ sgo i ng on in her head, she wants it, but for social reasons has to play hard to get. You see, girls want sex too, butt he ydon’ twant to feel any bad emotions about having s e x. Th e ydon’ twa ntt of e e lt ha tt h e y ’ r eb e i nga s l u t .The yd on ’ twa ntt of e e lt ha tt he ya r epur s ui n gy ouor that they are g i vi n gu pt he i rpowe rt o os oon .Th e yd on’ twa ntt of e e lt h a ty o ud o n’ t r e s pe c tt h e ma n dt he yd on ’ twa ntt of e e ll i key ou’ r eg oi ngt og e twe i r d a n dn e e dyr i ghta f t e ri t .Ort of e e ll i k ey o u’ vema n i pul a t e dt h e mi n t o that decision. So there’ sawhol ebunc hoft he s el i t t l el a ndmi ne st oa vo i d.Bu t ,i f y ouc a na voi dt he ma nds hewa nt st oge tl a i d,e s pe c i a l l yi fy o u ’ r eo na date ... and she came out, she took time out of her schedule to get to know you... she likes you... she wants you to make it happen and make h e rwa nti tt oh a p pe n,t he ni t ’ sa l lg ood.Bu ts he ’ snotgoi ngt od oi tf o r y ou. Soi t ’ sv e r yi mpo r t a ntt he r et ha ty o ua c ta si ft hes e xi sc e r t a i n , bu t y ou’ r eno tg oi n gt opus h .
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One of the biggest things to change my game was when I started to tell girls what was going to happen. They used to call it selfcommentary. You want to tell them what to expect from you, because women are big on honesty, in most cases much bigger on honesty than men are, I think. Everyone knows that we all tell little white lies. Everyone does, and g i r l sa r en oe xc e pt i on.An d, s omeg i r l sdol i ea b ou twhe r et he y ’ r eg oi n g a n dwh ot he y ’ r es l e e pi ngwi t h, a sd os omeguy s .ButIt hi nkont h e whole women respect honesty a lot more than men do. So if you can be hones twi t hagi r la n dde mo ns t r a t et h a ty ou ’ r e serious about your intentions, while being funny it works. Just say, “I ’ mg oi ngt ok e e ph i t t i n go ny ouunt i ly ouf uc kme ”. . .a n da sl o n ga s y ouma kei tf u n nya ndy ous h owt he mt ha tt he y ’ r ei nf ul lc o nt r o l ,t h a t ’ s really the sweet spot. One of the keys to my game is telling girls how really aggressive I am orI ’ mgoi n gt obe .I ’ l ll e tt h e mkno wt h a tI ’ mnotgo i ngt os t o p hitting on them and that I am trying to have sex with them, but I also let t h e mk n owt ha tI ’ mnever going to do anything to make them uncomfortable. I actually say, “Look , I ’ mr e al l yat t r a c t e dt oy o u.Obviously, I like y o ub e c a u s eoft h i s ,t h atandt heot he r ”.I ’ l lt e l lh e rwha tIlike about her and why I want to have sex with her. Stuff like, “ I ’ mr e a l l y a t t r a c t e dt oy ou, a n dI ’ mgoi n gt oke e ph i t t i n gony o uunt i lIha ves e x with you,s oi ft h a t ’ sapr o bl e mwe should probably just part ways right now” ... and they usually respond with, “ Ah ,a tl e a s ty ou’ r eho ne s t ”and I ’ ml i k e , “ Cool”and they la ug h,a ndno wt h e yknowki ndofwh a tI ’ m about. The nl a t e r , I ’ dpr ob a bl ys a ys ome t hi n gl i ke ,“ Look, the most unattractive thing in the world to me is feeling like I want someone mo r et ha nt he ywan tme ,i tr e al l ygr o s s e smeo ut ”... which is true, because I used to get a lot of last-minute resistance and it really does gross me out. Ir e a l l yd o n’ tl i kef e e l i n gt ha tI ’ mt r y i n gt os c a mphe ra ndc r a wl , or t ou s ea nyt y peoft r i c kt oge ti n t oagi r l spa n t s .Idon ’ tl i ket ha t .
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I want the girl to really want me as badly as I want her, and so if I ever feel like I want a girl more than she wants me, then it grosses me o uta n dI ’ l lj us ts t oppur s u i nghe r . I t ’ sa l la bo utma ki ngagi r lf e e lc omf or t a bl e !
3 Levels of Comfort! The strategy of the game is all about making the girl more and more comfortable, or at least making her a little bit less uncomfortable. You see the game is just making a woman feel more and more c omf o r t a bl e , i n c r e a s i ngl y ,u nt i ls he ’ sr e a dyt obec omf o r t a b l ei na sexual way. The first level of comfort is what we call social comfort.Th a t ’ s when you are okay with giving a stranger the time of day when they stop you on the street. However, if you look like a bum and you are walking around on the city streets asking for money, people are probably not going to stop because t he r ei s n’ te noughsocial comfort. Whereas, if a normally-dr e s s e dpe r s o n,g uyo rgi r ls a y s ,“ Hey, do you know where the subway is…”o rs ome t hi ngl i ket h a t .Yo u’ r eg o i n g to be a lot more likely to look at them and answer. You see, people are n e r v o uswh e nt h e ydon’ tk nowwha t ’ sgo i n gt oha pp e na ndi t ’ s normally something that they do n’ twa ntt ode a lwi t h .So, social comfort is the first level. Second level of comfort is rapport comfort, where people feel comfortable exchanging information with you. This is when they trust you or are comfortable enough to get to know you in person, etc. The third level of comfort is sexual comfort. Tha t ’ swhen people are comfortable getting physical with you and when they let you get sexual with them. The main thing to understand is that girls are always going to have a different way of saying things that allows them to act in a way that they want to act. Remember, they will preserve good emotions at all cost.
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Do n ’ tme s sa r ou nda ndt r yt otrap a girl for l a t e ron. I ’ mno tg o i ng to keep trying to get in her pants over and over and over again if she d oe s n ’ twa n ti t , and neither should you. I mean, if a girl says no to me I l e gi t i ma t e l yd on’ tl i kei t .I legitimatel ybe l i e vet ha ti fs he ’ sgoi ngt obeunc omf o r t a bl eId on’ twant her to associate being uncomfortable with me, especially if I like her. I fI ’ mtrying to get a girl into bed, for the most part I really do like them. Id on’ twa ntt he mt obed oi ngs ome t hi ngthat t he y ’ r ego i ngt o regre ta n dIdo n’ twa n tt h e mt odos ome t hi n gt ha tt h e ydon ’ tf ul l y , fully want to do, b e c a us et h a t ’ sj us tno tc oo l . Gi r l sh a v et ok nowt ha tt he y ’ r ein full control. It ’ sawe i r d juxtaposition in the r e s pon s i bi l i t y ,be c a us et he ydon’ tha vea ny responsibility for the making of the moves, but they want to feel like they are in full control. Whi c hme a nsI ’ l lt a ker e s p ons i bi l i t yf oraggressively pursue them, but they have to take responsibility for accepting my moves. If they d on ’ tshow me that they are acceptable, the nI ’ mnotgo i ngt ok e e p going. Ift h e yd on ’ tl i k ewh a t ’ sha p pe ni ng, I ’ mgoi n gt os t opcompletely. So even if they like it a little bit, when they say, no, no, no—no more kissing, i t ’ sno kissing; and I guess it ’ sk i ndo fs i mi l a rt oaf r e e z e -out or wh a t e v e r ,bu tt ha t ’ st hef i r s tpa r t . The second part is linking it with actually knowi ngwha ty ou’ r ed oi ngs e xua l l y ,and in bed and the dirty talk. This is the ultimate idea of where the balance should between pushing and letting a girl know that s he ’ sc omfortable, because you need both halves of those in order for her to get comfortable enough for sex. Whe ns h es a y s , “ We’ r en oth av i ngs e xt oni gh t ”i tnormally means that she feels l i kei t ’ sgetting a little too obvious that I want sex. For example, say we ’ r eba c ka tmyplace alone, the candles lit ,we ’ r e c u d dl i n gont hec ou c ha nds hes a y s , “ Okay, we ’ r enothav i ngs e x tonight” .I t ’ sp r oba bl ybecause she wants to slow it down until she feels more comfortable.
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Sh e ’ sr e a l l ys c r e a mi n g,I ’ mn otc omf or t abl ebeing this sexual yet, but I want to be;s he ’ sba s i c a l l ys a y i n gma kememor ec omf or t a b l e sexually or make me more turned on. So when you hear that, so one of those two things.Tha t ’ sd e f i n i t e l y s ome t h i n gI ’ l ldo. Al t e r n a t i ve l y …If uc karound with what I call my really, really overconfident game. With t ha tI ’ l lj us tt a kee ve r y t hi ngthat they say like an indicator of interest. Everything they say, I ’ l lj us tt u r ni nt ot he mt r y i ngt og e tmei n t o bed. so if a girls says, we ’ r en othav i n gs e x ,I ’ l lb el i ke ;“ Believe it or n ot , I ’ v eh e ar dt ha tb e f or ef r omgi r l st hatIthen ended up doing h or r i b l e ,di r t yt hi ngst o,s owe ’ l ll e av et h atoneu pi nt heai r ” . Tha t ’ s j u s taf u nnyl i t t l el i nei fy ouh a v et h eba l l sf ori t . I t ’ sar e a l l yf u n ny one, b uti td oe s n’ ta l wa y sgo well; so, use at your own risk. Then e x to net ha tIwa ntt ot a l ka bo uti s“ Idon’ td o X until the first date”.Comme nt sl i k e ,“ Ido n’ ts l e e pwi t hs ome on eont hef i r s tn i g htI me e tt h e m,Ido n’ ts l e e pwi t hs ome o neont h ef i r s tdat e ,Idon ’ tk i s son th ef i r s td at e ,Idon ’ tha v es e xunt i lt h et hi r ddate, ”e t c .Whe ny o uh e a r those kind of numbers, or arbitrary rules what girls are really saying is, “ Il i key ou ,b utI want you to respect me because I want a relationship.” Anytime a girl starts to say something like, “ Ido n’ tdot hi st i l lt h e t h i r dd at e ,Ido n’ tdot hatt i l lt hes e c o nddat e”i tme a nst ha ts h e ’ s already put you very clearly into a relationship track, bu ts he ’ spu t t i ng you into a relationship track whe r es h ec o nt r o l st hes t r i ngs .I t ’ sno t some t h i n gs h e ’ sdoing consciously, obviously, bu ti t ’ st hewa ys h esees you. She sees you as a courtship guy. As the guy that is kind of boring but dependable, like the Toyota Corolla of men. It gets you where you need to be...ga sc ons umpt i oni s n’ tba d...doe s n’ th a vea nyma j o r problems... not too expensive to take care of ... but, do e s n’ te xc i t ey ou ! Soa ny t i mey ou ’ r ege t t i ngs ome t h i n gl i k et h a t ,i tba s i c a l l yme a n s you just are not sexually attractive enough t ohe ry e t .She ’ sn ots e e i n g you in that way where she wants to rip your clothes off, she sees you as the type she can have two kids, a family and a white picket fence with. Comme n t sl i ket ha th a p pe nwh e ny ou’ r ebe i ngtoo nice, not being
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dismissive enough, not having enough jealousy, not seeming like enough of a guy who would satisfy her in bed. Generally i t ’ sthose emotional things that look good-on-paper. You k no w, aguywho’ st hi r t y -five, a lawyer, never been married, tall and athletic, but j u s tbor i nga ss hi t ,a ndi tdoe s n’ tdoa ny t h i ngt o emotionally stimulate a woman in any way whatsoever; the type of guy who d o e s n’ tun de r s t a ndhowt ot a l kt ogi r l sorhow to read their body language, etc. Like I said, a guy that looks good on paper, but is horrible in real life. So d on ’ tbet ha tguy ,i fy ou’ re getting stuff like that y o u’ v ef a l l e n into that category. Another good one is, “ I ’ mn ott hatk i n dofgi r l ” .You will get that a lot. Ba s i c a l l yi tj us tme a nss he ’ sc he c ki ngt os e ei ft h e r e ’ sa nyr espect. The whole key to diffusing that one is actually deconstructing it. So a l o toft i me swh e ngi r l ss a y ,“ I ’ mnott heg i r lt hatwi l lha v es e xwi t hy ou in a public bathroom—o r ,I ’ mnott hegi r lwhowi l lhav es e xwi t hy o u down by the river, or wherever, the lake” , e t c .I ’ l ls a y ,“ Look, t h e r e ’ s no such thing as that kind of girl. It hi nky ou ’ r eawe s o me ,It h i n kt h i s i sr e al l yh ot , bu ti fy ou ’ r eun c omf or t ab l e ,c o ol ,we ’ l lj us tc h i l l ”. Then I ’ l lactually start moving back into the venue. I ’ d wait until we get a little bit further and closer, the nI ’ l lface her and push her against the wall and make out with her again. This usually turns that one around and it works pretty well. The main thing is to show her that you won’ tj udg ehe r . So when she says, “I ’ mno tt hatk i ndofgi r l ”and you reply, “That ’ sr i di c u lous, t h e r e ’ sn os u c hthing as not that kind of girl—but this is really weird and I do f e e lr e a l l yi nt e ns ewi t hy our i gh tnow,andi t ’ shot , andId o n’ t really kn owbutI ’ mj u s tgoi n gwi t hi t . . . but, y ou ’ r er i ghtweshould stop, and we should go in, in ther e ”. . . Sh e ’ sr e a l l ytrying to regulate her body temperature, because s hedo e s n’ twa nty out ot hi nks he ’ sa slut. Sh edoe s n ’ twa nthe rf r i e n dst ot h i nks he ’ sas l uta nds hed oe s n ’ t want t of e e ll i k es he ’ slost control. Shewa n t st of e e lt h a ts he ’ sma k i ng this d e c i s i o n .Sous u a l l yt hi sc omme ntr e a l l yme a n si s , “ c onvince me that this is the right decision to make.”
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Thel a s to net h a twe ’ l lt a l ka b out , before we talk about some facial expressions a n ds omeot he rt h i ngsg i r l ss a y ;“ You ’ r eaj e r kpl a y e r asshole” . Usually when girls go, “ You’ r eapl a y e r. You’ r ej e r k . You ’ r ea n a s s h o l e ”it just basically means they are attracted and they are testing to see if you actually are cool. They are at least interested in getting to k no wy oua n dt he yne e dt os e ei fy ou’ r eactually going to be able to stand up for yourself and set personal boundaries ori fy ou ’ r eg o i n gt o bend and start qualifying yourself. Basically anytime agi r lc a l l sy o ut ha ta n ds he ’ sno tve r yangry a n dy o u’ veg o tt oknow the difference between really angry –you want to think it in terms of the technicality of the game. That would be a qualification hoop,l i k ea ny t i meagi r ls a y s ,y ou ’ r e a player, you ’ r eaj e r k,y ou’ r ea na s s ho l e ,e t cs he ’ sb a s ically throwing out her hoop to see if you are going to jump through i t .I fy ou’ r ego i ng t oa po l o gi z ea n ds a yy ou ’ r eno tt ha tki n do fguy ,o ri fy oua r eg oi ngt o d oa ny t hi nge l s e .Sh e ’ st e s t i ngt os e ei ft h eguyi sachump wh o ’ s going to do whatever she wants. I ’ v ene v e rr e a l l yha dt ha tha p pe nunl e s sIdi dsomething over and over and over again that created that result. Now, you are a player, is actually what we call a double-bind b e c a u s ei t ’ soneo ft hos et hi ngst h a ty oudon’ ta ns we r ,y ouj us ti gn o r e it. There are three basic prequalification hoops that girls throw at you. You can agree and exaggerate and say something like, “Actually, I o nl yh a v ee i g h tg i r l f r i e nd s ,b uti fy o u’ r er e a l l yi n t e r e s t e dan dy o ur application completely checks ou tI ’ mwi l l i n gt oaddy oua st heni n t h ” or “ Actually, you know, I ’ v ec utd ownt ohaving sex with girls only on days that end wi t hY”. You can say anything that exaggerates and agreesa sl onga si t ’ s f u nny . I fy ouc a n’ tma ket he ml a ughore xa gge r a t ey oura ns we rto absurdity, then it just l oo ksl i k ey ou ’ r et r y i n gt oq ualify yourself by c o u nt i n gho wma nygi r l sy o u’ vegot .
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It g o e st h eo t he rwa yt oo,b uty ouc a ns ur vi vei ti fi t ’ sf unny . Whereas if you s a y ,“ noI ’ mn otapl ay e r ”t he ny ou’ r et r y i ngt oq u a l i f y yourself as a nice guy and they win. So again, agree, exaggerate and n e ve rdi s a gr e e . Th a t ’ sl i ket hef i r s t t h i ng , do n’ tever try to disagree with any stuff that the girls throw at you and always agree. Tha t ’ sk i ndo ft h eway to deal with that comment.
Facial Expressions Next I want to talk to you about facial expressions, because reading female facial expressions is huge! I want you to put a big focus on facial expressions and being able to read them, so I want you to start looking to identify what facial expressions girls use. If they are listening you should see a smile or at least an openness of both body posture and a loose, relaxed face. I ft h e ya r ebo r e d,y ou’ l ls e et he i reyes start to dart around. You’ l l start seeing facial their expression will melt away into like nothingness. Arms will be crossed. They’ l lstart to look around, maybe their necks even turn and their body tension will start to shift. If a girl is upset,y ou’ l ls e eastraight e n i ngo fpo s t u r e .Sh e ’ l lb er i g i d and her facial and hand expressions will point. Yo u’ l ls e efurling of the brow a n ds h e ’ l lenunciate each word. The more the girls are focusing on the enunciation of their words, the more pissed off they probably are. Start paying attention and start cataloging all the facial expressions that you notice. When you say something insulting, look at the facial expression. It will look a little like a pull back. When you compliment a girl and they light up you will see it in her eyes. Her cheek bones wi l lr i s e .She ’ l lsmile, etc.
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So ony o u ’ l lbea bl et o read all of those things, because those expressions are going to become really helpful later on. Down the line, you’ l lb ea bl et or e a de xp r e s s i onse a s i l ya n dr e a ds pa t i a lmo ve me n tt o o. Little hints like is the girl moving towards you or away from you will tell you how receptive she is. You constantly want to condition girls to move towards you and not away from you, getting her conditioned and used to your touch. Because the more you touch, the more you pull her into you, the more comfortable she will be with it. You want to be aware when a girl moves a wa yf r om y oui fy o u’ r e t o uc h i n gh e ra ndt he r e ’ smu s c ul a rt e ns i on,t h a t ’ ss ome t hi ngt ol oo kf o r . For the next few months try studying muscular tension. For example: If you pull a girl towards you a little bit, does she come easily or is she very hesitant? When you take a girls hand, does it come palm up or palm down? Is her hand very rigid and tight? Does it look like she’ s thinking, “ Wh a t ’ s this guy going to do to me?”Is she leaning in towards you to listen to what you have to say, or is she leaning away? Does she lean toward her friend? Do they move towards their friends? The universal sign that girls are uncomfortable, is they will hug each other, not like when they first see other, and they go, Oh my God; when a girl first re-e nt e r sagr oupt ha t ’ snor ma la ndt ha tdoe s n ’ tme a n anything; b u ti fy ou ’ r et a l k i ngt oagi r l ,l i ket woo no ne ,oroneo no n e and one of her friends comes over and just hugs and puts her arms around her,i t ’ sas i g nt ha ts h e ’ snotc omf or t a bl ewith you talking to her friend. That you ’ r ed oi ngs ome t hi ngt ha t ’ screeping the friends out and t h e y ’ r eal i t t l ewor r i e d.Of course, it could mean t h a ty ou’ r edo i ngt oo well. So be aware of that too. See if she moving into her friend... if she is putting distance between the two of you, or to show you that she’ s taken. Eye contact is another key thing to look out for. Eye contact is huge! Is a girl keeping eye contact with you most of the time? Is she looking down at you? Does she ever check you out physically? Is she looking at other people? Is she looking around the room? What are her eyes doing? Is she girl-coding her friend?
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Eye contact is what girls will do when they eye-code or when they girl-code. Basically, s he ’ l lflash looks at her friends, looks that say, “ We should go! ... or she may even look where she wants to go. Be aware of that one. Pay attention when girl-coding is happening. Study what it looks like. Get an idea and a picture it in your mind. If a girl is really into you her face will start getting closer to your face. Try cutting into her facial space, slowly. Put your face side by side and then judge the results. Does she get uncomfortable and move away? Does she move closer? Is she comfortable? These are all things to be looking for. Leaning in or out, touching, whether she’ s relaxed etc. Will help you determine how into you she is. Hope you’ ve enjoyed reading about “ The Art of Womanese” . Learning to read women is a key to mastering this stuff. This report covered:
Where the kind of behavior comes from The social awkwardness The social hierarchies The no-responsibility role How they have to pay lip service to societal thinking How women are more sexual but they have to hide it because of rules imposed by men. How women take social awkwardness and want to constantly stream up social hierarchies How all of that relatest ot hi ngst he y ’ l ls a yt oy ou Ways women act and ways that you can have them comfortable enough to have sex.
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