Turn Women ON Through DOMINANCE And Other Crucial Behaviors
The biggest thing to me is to be as ACCURATE as humanly possible when it comes to advice on how to attract women, and also on how to make sure you are with a woman who is a great personality with the right values as well, and on how to bring out the BEST behavior in women at the same time. So, with that in mind, today I am going to focus on two HUGE elements to ATTRACTING women, and these elements are DOMINANCE as well as the impact of having the right PERSONALITY in general that is attractive. 1. The Importance Of DOMINANCE. One of the CRAZIEST things about the past few decades is that although it is GREAT that women have made progress in our society, one thing that has happened is that a lot of men have been BRAINWASHED to think that being DOMINANT in the bedroom is somehow immoral, or a form of harassment, or something else that is to be ashamed of, when in REALITY there are MANY, MANY women who LOVE it when a man is dominant in the bedroom. I don’t have EXACT numbers, but I can tell you that in my own experience, I haven’t met any women who didn’t at least enjoy SOME degree of male dominance in the bedroom. Here’s the OTHER irony: The very fact that women HAVE made progress in our society, the very fact that women are actually things like 60% of the population of universities compared to only 40% men, the very fact that women today have more equality than ever, means that MANY women actually have 1
just about NO OTHER PLACE EXCEPT THE BEDROOM to enjoy having a man DOMINATE! There’s more to this picture as well: If you want to enjoy being dominant in the bedroom, you should actually show TOTAL RESPECT for a woman in every way OUTSIDE the bedroom. It’s OKAY to be a gentleman, it’s GOOD TO BE a gentleman. But you can still LEAD the show, so to speak, even long before you get her to the bedroom. It’s in the way you confidently start a chat with her, in the way you aren’t afraid to playfully tease her a bit, YET AT THE SAME TIME YOU ARE LISTENING TO HER SO THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND HER FULLY AND CONNECT WITH HER on a DEEP level regarding her values, her passions, her aspirations, etc. In fact, the more a woman feels that you RESPECT her, the MORE she will NOT feel as if she is giving up her DIGNITY by allowing herself to GIVE HERSELF OVER TO YOU FULLY IN THE BEDROOM. On the other hand, if you are the kind of person who is constantly behaving in ways that are CONTROLLING outside of the bedroom, if you are behaving in ways that are needy and insecure, then she is only going to feel that any “dominance” from you in the bedroom is a result of your insecurity, as opposed to the kind of dominance she REALLY wants, the kind that flows from your genuine CONFIDENCE and having ZERO neediness or insecurity. It’s very important to understand that for many, many women (I can’t say all since I haven’t dated every woman on Earth), the fantasy of the man being dominant in the bedroom is very much an EROTIC thing but it has nothing to do with her feeling one drop of lack of self-esteem. 2
If she senses that you seek ‘dominance’ out of INSECURITY, it’s a total turn off. On the other hand, if it comes from CONFIDENCE, then it’s usually a MASSIVE turn on. It’s also important to understand that for all of this women’s equality stuff, the fact is, that women STILL want to be SEDUCED by men. The VAST majority of women do NOT want to be the ones who have to initiate the approach, the chase, etc. So, in a very fundamental way, a woman actually has to SUBMIT to your approach, your seduction, your masculinity. And it sure as heck is a lot more FUN for her and GRATIFYING for her, to do this when you are behaving in a way that is assertive and dominant, without being a controlling, insecure jerk.
It’s important to note that what I am saying is not just interesting reading material, but rather is being PROVEN by the facts in our society. For example, one of the latest, best-selling books amongst women today is Fifty Shades of Grey, a romance novel that features a leading man who is absolutely dominant. And by the way, this book itself is based on ANOTHER SUPER POPULAR AMONGST WOMEN story of dominance known as the Twilight movie series. 50 Shades of Grey was conceived originally as the love affair from Twilight, but set in modern times. In the author’s own words, Grey is a man who is 'independent', 'brilliant', yet also 'intimidating'. And although he tells the woman he wants her, it’s clear it must be on 'his OWN terms'. Independent. Intimidating. He wants her on his OWN terms. Hmmm, this should be sending every man a clear message about what MOST women want. Here’s a paragraph from the book: 3
“His arms are wrapped around to him, hard, fast, gripping head up, kissing me like his drags the hair tie painfully don’t care. He needs me, for at this point in time, and I and coveted.” (478).
me, and he’s pulling me my ponytail to tilt my life depends on it … He out of my hair, but I whatever reason, have never felt so desired
And one more, just in case you think I’m exaggerating: “Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.” (Page 78) The female character in the story finds Grey to be a man whose erotic tastes are shocking yet thrilling, a man who absolutely takes control in the bedroom, allowing her to explore her own deepest desires. THIS is the book that is all the popular rage amongst so many ADULT women (not the Twilight crowd) at this very moment, and yet, it’s the timeless tale of the “savage beast” that is untamed but has a heart, that women have swooned for since time immemorial. Most women won’t get turned on or feel chemistry without a man showing dominance, yet she has to ALSO feel SAFE to allow a man to BE the dominant one. This means you must establish a great degree of TRUST without becoming a kiss-ass pansy, but rather through showing respect for her boundaries and for learning to listen to her without bias as you get to know her so that you can 4
truly understand her. Displays of dominance begin the first moment you see her, and continue throughout the interaction. Never ASK for a kiss or if it’s okay to kiss her. At the same time, you don’t want to just do it when it makes no sense either, so you wait till you see some signs of her being INTERESTED. This is why the saying, “kisses were meant to be STOLEN” came about. You don’t ASK for them. Similarly, with putting your arm around her and going for it, not ASKING for it. It’s also so very, VERY important to understand the REAL meaning of something such as the rape fantasy that many women have. This DOES NOT, it absolutely does NOT mean, that women want to be raped. What it DOES mean, is that the FANTASY of it, of living it out in a SAFE way, is something that is highly appealing to a lot of women. The UNDERLYING theme that is crucial to understand is that there is HUGE amount of erotic PLEASURE for a woman to GIVE UP CONTROL and just give in to feeling FULL sexual intensity without having to feel guilt for it.
And it’s possible that in a world where women are BOMBARDED with double standards of “not being allowed to be sluts” while men are PRAISED for having tons of women partners, that it might just be that the only way for some women to feel PURE 5
SEXUAL GRATIFICATION without guilt is if it is “not up to them”, i.e. it is forced, it is RAPE. Remember, women didn’t ASK for the double standard of behavior, where men are praised for having tons of female partners, and women are punished and labeled as sluts for having many male partners. I’m not saying this is for sure the reason for the rape fantasy, but it’s possible. Especially when you add in the fact that it’s one way for a woman to feel that you can be the totally ASSERTIVE one at the same time. Now, obviously, you would have to take BABY steps toward catering to such a fantasy with a woman, and find out if she is into that or if she really wants that, but even with THAT, it’s important to be the kind of man that helps HER feel RELAXED to reveal all this to you in direct or even indirect ways. And most likely, it would start with smaller revelations of what types of DOMINANCE she enjoyed.
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But the goal with dominance is to keep it SAFE and CONSENSUAL without turning it into ZERO DOMINANCE by asking her a billion questions of “Is this okay? Do you like this?” which turns you back into the submissive. One way to go about this also is to speak and discuss with her about what you might do with her the NEXT time you two are in bed together, so that the next time you and her are together, you don’t have to ask questions, you can just take control. And when you are approaching a woman out of the blue for the very first time, add more DOMINANCE to your TONALITY, to your mannerisms. If you’re playfully teasing her, don’t have this big toothy grin across your face. Instead, deliver it with a straight face. If the chat is going well, don’t ASK for her number, just TAKE it, tell her to write it down for you. She will PREFER this to the apologetic/desperate/ass-kissing style that most men give as a result of brainwashing by a culture that says the only way to get toward sex with a woman is by kissing up and buying her gifts, which is actually the way to LOSE a woman’s interest. 7
You buy a woman a gift on her birthday or something, NOT as a way to IMPRESS her or attract her. Okay, so let’s move on a bit from dominance. 2. PERSONALITY VS. LOOKS Even though I have spent YEARS discussing this, I know that a lot of guys STILL think that it’s all about LOOKS, that women are just like men, and that the only way to get a woman who is hot is to be a man that looks like a model. And, the truth is, that there are SOME women who are REALLY into a guy’s LOOKS, but there are MANY, MANY women, often the HOTTEST ones, in fact, who don’t put a man’s LOOKS as the MOST important thing when it comes to HOW THEY GET TURNED ON. So I’m not JUST talking about the fact that many women, just like many men, realize that looks aren’t everything, but rather I am actually saying that there are many women, who, UNLIKE men, get turned on by a man’s PERSONALITY AND BY HIS BEHAVIORS IF HE IS EXHIBITING THE RIGHT PERSONALITY AND BEHAVIORS. This includes MORE than just dominance. 8
Here’s a quote from a real woman online: '… women are aural, sensual creatures. Where men are turned on by visual stimulus, women tend to require more than just a pretty face and a hot bod. Which is why the clever Casanova's of the world have learned to progressively touch a woman and speak to her in a tone of voice that is simultaneously sexy but not necessarily saying 'sexy' things.' In other words, it’s not that you have to be speaking about erotic things, but that tone of voice that includes being SENSUAL, for example. And by sensual, think of the way you might SLOWLY say the word CHOCOLATE if you were really CRAVING chocolate. You add a lot more SENSUALITY to your voice by SLOWING your pace down, and by giving a more 'breathy' sound to the parts of the words that have the 'breath' sound in them. For example, if you were to say the word 'sensuality' right now, 9
you might add the breathy part 'ahh' right in the 'a' of sensuality, saying the entire word slowly. Give it a try right now, listen to how it sounds. You can use this tonality even when you first approach a woman, speaking about ANYTHING interesting, and keeping it safe you can start with something totally NOT to do with sex, yet you will STILL be turning her on. So the way you speak is ANOTHER way to turn on a woman, just as powerful as the way YOU get turned on by the SIGHT of a hot woman. Similarly, gradually TOUCHING her more, using TACTFULNESS, is a turn on to her. So, if you are going for a walk with her on a first date, and you guide her in away from the sidewalk to protect her from traffic, but you do this in a classy way by placing your hand on her waist and guiding her toward you, this would be quite erotic and yet tasteful at the same time. Also, by NOT constantly touching her, you actually make her ANTICIPATE WHEN you might touch her again, and also by not constantly touching her, when you DO touch her again, it AMPLIFIES the 10
emotional impact of that touch, and turns her on even MORE. Once you sense she is giving you receptive signals, you can keep ESCALATING to touching to less ‘safe’ zones and more erogenous zones, from the inside of her elbow, to her ear, to her inner thigh, etc. WHISPERING in her turn on for her. ear that you know good, and you can
ear You she let
is also another can whisper in her is a bad girl that’s her ponder that.
What’s even better, is to choose words that create IMAGES in her mind. So, depending on what stage you are at in the interaction with her, you still want to use the most powerful visual imagery you can create: “My lips and tongue are going to make love to every inch, every curve, every pore on your body” or “You pack more sexiness in your fingertips than most men could handle in a lifetime” or “I’m imagining us as naked lovers in the glow of a blazing wood fire, wine glasses clinking.” Here’s what another real woman has mentioned: “… you'd be surprised by the magnetism of 11
mental stimulation for women. This is where men, not so blessed with physical attributes, can shine. What comes out of his mouth, his attitude, his self-confidence, his grounded assertiveness, the language of his eyes, kindness, generosity, knowing how and when to treat a woman like a lady and how and when to treat her like she's the sexiest thing that has ever crossed his imagination. It's all about words for me; really good conversation will cause me to toss my panties lickity split! I can watch porn and feel very little and I'm just not all that visual until I care a hell of a lot. But I can read porn/erotica and lose my mind. I can actually be having really good sex and still not feel 'over the top' aroused, but if he starts talking to me while he's doing me...I'm toast; he'll own me. In case you think I’m making this up, this is all real, from: 12
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts105 77520.aspx And regarding DOMINANCE, here’s what another woman stated: 'I am a girl and am attracted to guys that have a dominant personality. I was hanging out with this guy the other day, and went to the beach with him and he could not make a move on me and i was waiting a longgg time for him to do something so i just lost attractiion. Then later, he actually ASKED if i would let him touch my breasts…which was a big turn off.. I think it turns me on more if a guy just does it without asking, it feels like he's in control over you and dominating you. Compared to another guy who i went on a movie date with, he made the move to put his hand on my leg and didn't even ask me, so i let him do whatever he wanted with me because it turns me on when i guy is dominating 13
you. But, with the first guy, I didn't let him do anything with me because I just wasn't turned on at all.' Again, in case anyone thinks I am making this up: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php? t=142681641&page=1 And, because evidence is CRUCIAL to me, I even have important research that shows MANY women are simply NOT like men when it comes to how important LOOKS are in making women feel attracted to a man: (http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/471483/resul ts) When asked, 'What best describes how you feel when you see a guy (hot guy-who you consider attractive) naked?', 32% of women said they 'like' it, but that they were NOT TURNED ON by it. In fact, seeing a naked WOMAN resulted in a SIMILAR reaction, i.e. 25% of the women said they liked it, but weren’t actually turned ON.
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(And 35% of them said they WERE turned on, so you have about as much to ‘worry’ about 'competition’ from a male model as you do from a WOMAN who she thinks is attractive! i.e. It’s NOT a concern.) And a full 42% of women don’t even get turned on by the mere SIGHT of a ‘hot guy’. So while 57% may indeed get turned on just by the sight of some male model, that still leaves almost HALF of all women who DON’T find a man’s LOOKS to be enough to turn her on, no matter WHAT he looks like. And here’s the two biggest ones of all, in my opinion: When women were asked what they THINK about when they masturbate, a full 67% checked the FOLLOWING as their answer: “Me feeling sexy, and myself being the object of erotic admiration and sexual need....”. They were also asked if they AGREE with the following statement:
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‘A woman’s sexual desire is narcissistic - it is dominated by the yearnings of self-love, by the wish to be the object of erotic admiration and sexual need, more than finding the male body arousing in itself' Guess what? A full 62% of women AGREED. That means that it’s more important to a woman to FEEL SEXY than it is to find the MAN sexy! Most women (68%) will be MORE turned on by an average looking guy who is being TURNED ON by THEM, than by some ‘hot guy’ who she doesn’t really feel is getting as turned on. More than HALF of the women polled, believed “For women, being desired IS the orgasm.” And a WHOPPING 82% of women polled agreed that “the female orgasm is not a literal flip of what makes the man reach orgasm. It has to do with the women feeling sexy.....” 16
Remember that blurb from 50 Shades of Grey: '...I have never felt so desired and coveted.' (478) So, what have we learned in this newsletter? We’ve learned EXACTLY how POWERFUL DOMINANCE is to women, and at the SAME time, we’ve learned how important it is for a woman to feel SEXY. This is why I have always said since day ONE that attraction is NOT about trying to make a woman feel LESS confident or LESS self-esteem in some manipulative ploy, but rather to truly BE THE MAN, and especially to be the MAN that makes her feel like a WOMAN. By the way, this is also why a lot of women, a lot More than you think, even the ‘nice girls’, and ‘good girls’ are TURNED ON by a certain amount of sexual behavior even in PUBLIC. It makes them feel DESIRED, so desired in fact, that the whole WORLD bears witness to how 17
desirable they are. Remember this, for making a woman feel DESIRED Is HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE. One last time, I want to HAMMER home that blurb in from 50 Shades of Grey: “...I have never felt so desired and coveted.” (478) It’s not JUST the dominance, it’s the MIXTURE of also being DESIRED. This doesn’t mean to do the DEED outright in public, but a hint of it is always hot. I remember, long ago, a girl who was a straight A student, great at science and all that logical stuff, and who acted VERY conservative, one time at the gym I saw her from behind and took one look at her butt and loved it, I felt that animal instinct take over. I decided to surprise her from behind while she was sitting on an exercise bench machine. I 'straddled' the bench and slid down the bench, 18
and began grinding against her butt from behind, in a position that looked very sexual. She immediately looked surprised and turned her neck to see who it was. I gave her a look that was ALL SERIOUS BUSINESS, not joking around at all, totally dominant. I didn't SAY anything sexy, but in a sensual dominant yet whispery TONALITY, I said: 'Heyyy. How are you doin'. At that second, she could have slapped me across the face, she could have said, 'What are you doing???' Instead, a WARM smile went across her face. Not only didn’t she get upset, she became WARMER than she had been EVER. She was ENJOYING this and ENJOYING the fact that people could see this. In fact, I was the one to stop doing it, not her. I just decided that this was enough of a hint for her of what was to come later. And this was a 'GOOD GIRL' that wasn't out at 19
the clubs partying and getting drunk and smoking cigarettes or taking drugs. She was too busy studying and getting 99% on her science, math, and biology exams. Never mistake good girls for not being ULTRA sexual, by the way. And the PUBLIC display of desire all makes sense, because it feels like GREATER proof of how sexy they are, they feel the whole WORLD should know how desirable they are. This is also why it’s OKAY to be A SUPER GIVING LOVER, and if you are a good guy, you don’t have to fear that somehow this makes you “weak” or the bad version of “nice guy”, NOPE, it actually is the BEST thing to do, and in fact going nuts with passion in the bedroom is the BEST way to deliver the message that you really DO love her. So, the ball’s now in your court, you KNOW that getting the women you want is ABSOLUTELY and COMPLETELY within your grasp. The question is, what are you going to DO about it? I SERIOUSLY suggest you take my REAL WORLD LIVE BOOTCAMP, especially now in the summer months if possible, because women are EVERYWHERE 20
with the weather being so awesome, although even in the WINTER there are tons of women doing things like Christmas shopping, etc and you can meet women all year round. But now is a GREAT TIME, and the truth is also that in the better weather, it’s even EASIER as women are in a better mood to chat when the weather is great. In bootcamp, you will be IMMERSED in reallife approaches and pick-ups, again and again, on the HOTTIES of your choice, and you will be getting the benefit of my TEN YEARS of experience in this field, so that I can save you YEARS of mistakes that most guys make. You’ll learn HOW to convey the right dominance, and HOW to amp up a more sexual vibe, and how to develop that connection IN JUST MINUTES, even with women who are TOTAL STRANGERS. Bootcamp is at: http://www.getagreatgirl.com/realworld.html
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I also seriously suggest you get my programs on being far more DOMINANT AND SEXUAL with women. For my most advanced program on becoming the kind of man that RESONATES with POWER while also being the kind of man she can TRUST, you should DEFINITELY get my WARRIOR WITHIN program immediately, and it’s at: http://getagreatgirl.com/warrior.html You will also benefit IMMENSELY by downloading my program on turning women ON. It’s called 'The Boomerang Effect', and it’s at: http://www.getagreatgirl.com/boomerang.html To PERFECT your skills at approaching women, you should also download my crucial program called “Acing The Approach”. It’s
at:
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/acing-theapproach.html
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And for a fantastic program on getting women attracted QUICKLY, download my program 'Attraction Accelerators' by going here NOW: http://www.getagreatgirl.com/attractionaccelerators.html Till next time, Michael Marks (c) 2012 Get A Great Girl All Rights Reserved.
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