David Lieberman Make Anyone Loyal

Back to Amazon.com

Make Anyone Loyal PROVEN PSYCHOLOGICAL STRATEGIES TO MAKE PEOPLE GO WITH YOU … AND STAY WITH YOU

by DAVID J. LIEBERMAN, Ph.D. GENERAL SUMMARY OF TECHNIQUES

•

Learn the best psychological strategy to help keep any employee or customer from ever leaving you.

•

Get anyone—friends, co-worker, client—to instantly see you as a person of honesty and integrity.

•

Discover the five most powerful ways to get anyone to instantly like you and trust you.

•

Arm yourself with the sure-fire technique to get anyone to stick by you in the most

1

David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.

“Make Anyone Loyal”

difficult times…even when you’ve messed up. •

Deposit a “loyalty credit” into a person’s mind that you can use the next time he or she may be thinking of abandoning you.

•

If you think that someone may be sabotaging your efforts, when she appears to be cooperating, use these advanced techniques to find out whose side anyone is on, and fast.

•

Find out in less than five minutes who in your company is not loyal…and is perhaps even meeting with the competition.

•

You already know the damage caused by internal theft. What you need is the same casual interviewing techniques that the FBI uses to find out if an employee, client, or vendor is lying or stealing.

INTRODUCTION

Loyalty [n.] the act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of

action What is it that makes someone stick by you, even in the darkest hour, while others run for the hills at the slightest hint that something has gone wrong? Research shows that an unwavering sense of loyalty can, in fact, be instilled in anyone by applying a basic psychological strategy. Whether it’s a friend, employee, or spouse, you can make anyone more loyal to you, your company, or your cause, faster and more easily than you ever thought possible. Of course you know the traditional, sound advice, such as using rewards, praising,

2



showing gratitude and appreciation, and the like. These are practical and effective ideas, but with the following techniques you’re going to be able to bring to an entirely new level your ability to create iron-clad loyalty very quickly. In this book, are the components, the building blocks of loyalty used to create an unshakable allegiance. This book contains specific, carefully formulated psychological tactics that can be applied to any situation, with any person. These are not just ideas or theories or tricks that work only sometimes and only on some people. This book offers readers the opportunity to use the most important psychological tools governing human behavior, not just to level the playing field but to create an automatic advantage. Readers get techniques that work, written in the casual, to-the-point, no-fluff, nopsychobabble style that has made David Lieberman’s books so popular. They get the information first hand , because it’s Dr. Lieberman’s techniques that the FBI uses; and he’s the one who

personally trains the United States military; he’s the one who teaches psychological tactics to leading state negotiators; he’s the one who works with mental health professionals; and he’s the one who works with leading business executives around the world. There are plenty of business books that offer “laws” and “principles” and strategies and stories. Now here’s one that gives specific solutions to real problems. From small business to big business to the professionals in between, the benefits are crystal clear. Readers will have the security of knowing what’s really going on at all times, the power to keep potentially devastating situations from ever unfolding, and when necessary, the ability to navigate the toughest circumstances quickly and smoothly. Don’t be in the dark a minute longer when find out who is out for you, and who is out to get you. Even better, turn your enemies into your most loyal allies.

3



TECHNIQUE # 1 BRING HIM IN ON THE INSIDE

A person’s loyalty is determined by which side of the fence he thinks he’s on. If you bring him to your side and make him part of your team, he will fight your battles with you and against the “other guys.” To turn an outsider into an insider, you need to do two things. One is to give him information that few people have, so he feels special. The other is to give him some degree of power or authority within the organization or team. Example I: A sales manager has a salesperson whose loyalty is questionable. During a relaxed, private conversation, the manager might say something such as this:

“Chris, I want you to know that there are going to be some changes around here. The most important one is that we’re close to acquiring the XYZ account. Now this is not public yet, so I need to count on your discretion.” Once Chris agrees readily, the manager then asks him to take the reigns of an aspect of the plan: “ And we think you’d be a key person on the team to figure out

how we can best service them.” You will be amazed at how quickly this technique helps to build allegiance to you. Now he’s a big-shot on the inside, with a little bit of power. He’s not going to turn on you anytime soon. Example II: You want to make sure that your key client stays with you. Realize that you can actually put your customers to work for you and thereby ensure their continued loyalty by making them part of the team. Keep a client for life by saying something such as, “We’re restructuring our customer service department. We would love you to evaluate

how your inquires are being handled. Based in part on your feedback, we’ll be able to assess

4



how effective the changes have been.” The client will not only appreciate your valuing his input and feedback, but he will soon feel personally vested and “connected: to your company.

TECHNIQUE # 2 A PART OF GREATNESS

Studies show that the moods of sports fans are greatly affected by the teams they support and follow. When their ball teams win, they feel great. When they lose, they feel bad. More than that, how people identify with their teams or not is fascinating. When their teams win, they say, “We won!” but when they lose, it’s often, “ They lost!” They give up their identification with the team when things are not going smoothly. We all want to be part of something great, to be with someone great, and to attach ourselves to a winner. To inspire loyalty, let others see the greatness within you, or what it is that you want them to believe in. The twin components of loyalty are honesty and integrity. The fastest way to lose someone’s loyalty is to be perceived as dishonest or untrustworthy. Even if the person does not like the latest news, your truthfulness about it speaks volumes, communicating an important message: that you can be trusted . Regardless of anything else, people will take their chances with someone who is trustworthy before they will with someone who tells them what they want to hear or who tries to cover up.

A Good Old Southern Lawyer Famed trial attorney Jerry Spence once defended a man whose crime

5



had been splashed across every newspaper in town. Almost everyone had already formed the conclusion that he was guilty even before the trial began. During jury selection most prospective jurors said that they knew of the case but could be fair and not prejudge Spence’s client’s guilt. Given the skewed media attention, this seasoned attorney concluded that they were all lying. He told his client that he’d rather take his chances with those few who said that they believed the client was guilty and could not be fair. Why? Because at least they were honest. He had something to work withpeople of integrity. By the way, his client was found innocent and was acquitted of all charges.

You can develop trust and loyalty as someone who does what is right, even when an easier course of action is apparent and readily available. Example I: You want your friends and coworkers to be more loyal to you. Always be honest in your dealings, and never sacrifice the truth . This illuminates fine character like a beacon in a fog of phonies. Your integrity can illustrate itself in a variety of ways. For instance, if you are playing a game with friends or office mates, and an argument ensues over who is right, take a position that is unfavorable to you . For instance, let’s say you’re playing a trivia game, and an argument ensues over whether the answer given by the other team is close enough to be deemed correct. If you believe it is, then voice your support for the other

team. Long after the game is forgotten, you will be known as the person who took the high road, even though it was not in your best interest. People will seek you out and want to be a part of what you do.

6



Example II: You want to make a client of your law firm feel more loyal to you than to others. If your client wants to do something that is not really in his best interest but that is advantageous to you-e.g. in terms of commissions or billable hours-and you explain to him how and why it is not in his best interest (and perhaps suggest a less costly route), you will have gained a client for life. How much greater loyalty will you feel for a mechanic or a dentist, for example, who reveals that certain work is unnecessary, even when you would never have known that on your own? When you take an action that is not in your favor but is the right thing to do, you will greatly increase others’ feelings of loyalty to you. You must always act with integrity. A principled person stands alone in the ability to captivate unwavering loyalty.

Note: Since we are speaking of integrity, be sure that your position, although unfavorable to you, is genuine and that you actually believe what you are saying to be true! We are not speaking of manufacturing circumstances so that you can appear a certain way. When such situations arise naturally, you can simply be aware so that you will maximize your ability to gain loyalty.

TECHNIQUE # 3 LITTLE BY LITTLE

Human beings have a strong need for consistency in their actions. Several studies in this area illustrate clearly how effective this psychological factor can be when applied to instilling loyalty. They show us that when someone is presented with a small request and subsequently

7



complies, he is infinitely more likely to agree to a larger request the thing that we wanted him to do in the first place. However, if he is not first presented with and does not subsequently complete the smaller request, then he has no subconscious motivation of consistency.

Research in Action Called

the

foot-in-the-door

technique,

the

following

study

demonstrates the tendency of people who have first agreed to a small request to comply later with a larger request. Freedman and Fraser (1966) asked a number of homeowners to let them place a huge DRIVE CAREFULLY sign in their front yards. Only seventeen percent gave permission. Another group of residents, however, was first approached with a smaller request. They were asked to put up a three-inch BE A SAFE DRIVER window sign. Nearly all agreed immediately. When approached a few weeks later, these homeowners were asked to place the gigantic signs on their front lawns. This group agreed overwhelmingly-76 percent consented to putting the unsightly larger sign in their front yards.

When we take a small step in one direction, we are driven to maintain a sense of consistency and will agree to greater requests in that same direction. Simply, those who agreed to the smaller request (the window sign) reshaped their self-concepts to include the definition that they were people who supported the idea. Therefore, agreeing to the larger request was just doing something more for a cause that they already “believed in.” Example I: You want an employee to be more loyal to you and your company.

8



To keep an employee for life, ask him to help you with a project, but offer no additional compensation. This creates internal momentum whereby he is unconsciously forced to believe more deeply in the company’s cause. Even if he is helping you out with an ulterior motivation in mind, his commitment to the company is still enhanced. Example II: You want a customer to be more loyal to you and your company. Invite him to the company picnic, have him speak with and get to know your employees; ask him for references and referrals and suggestions on how you can improve your business relationship. These little steps build internal momentum and are very effective to establish loyalty in anyone. Clearly he must care about your company because he has invested himself in it. In order to leave you, he would need to justify to himself why he put so much time and energy into making the relationship work. This necessity forces him subconsciously to come up with reasons for staying with you, even when more favorable conditions might be found elsewhere. When people have no emotional, financial, or material investment in an enterprise, they’re quicker to jump ship. Get someone involved as part of a team or cause, little by little when things are going well, and you will find that he will stand by you in more difficult times down the road. The bottom line is this: The more of himself he invests in an idea, the more he

will come to feel allegiance to it.

TECHNIQUE # 4 THE POWER OF HUMILITY

We are driven to follow and believe in a person whose pursuit is not seen as an exercise

9



in self-promotion. President John F. Kennedy’s approval ratings went to record highs after the Bay of Pigs fiasco, and this is believed to be because it showed that he was human, fallible, and

humble . He made a mistake and took full responsibility for it. Loyalty is not gained by being right, but rather by doing what is right. No one wants to listen to or follow someone who is egotistical. It’s impossible be close to someone who is full of himself. If you are full of yourself, there will be no room for anyone else. While you may get people to pay attention to you when they must or when it suits them, when the going gets rough, they’ll get going. Example: Five Powerful Ways to Demonstrate Humility 1. Doing a job that some might consider beneath you shows to the world that you are a person ofthe people and that you are willing to do what it takes, including making personal sacrifices, for the larger cause. The CEO who picks up garbage on the factory floor inspires workers to do the same and more. When you check personally on the status of a delivery or drop in at a customer’s place of business to check on the work being done or to deliver something that you could have sent by messenger, you will be gaining a customer for life. 2. Do not be a know-it-all, and when you are wrong, admit it. There are few things more captivating than a person who admits when he is wrong. It makes us realize that we are not a bunch of lemmings, following him off a cliff. It reveals a sense of responsibility and humility, two key traits that inspire loyalty. Employ this strategy with employees by publicly acknowledging when you make a mistake and when someone else is right. Whenever an error occurs with a client, no matter how small, be the first to call to let her know and to apologize, and also to tell her what steps you’ve taken to prevent it from

10



happening again. 3. When you do not know an answer, do not invent one. Simply say, “I don’t know.” You’ll be amazed at how much attention is then paid when you do have the answer to a question. When a client asks you something that you are not sure of, say, I don’t know, but I’ll find .” Then keep him posted on your progress. The same holds true with an employee who out .” asks about something that you cannot answer confidently. This practice will prove invaluable in building loyalty. 4. Treat everyone with respect, especially those who can’t do anything for you and from whom you don’t need anything. When you treat someone “important” with great respect, you show their greatness. When you do so when you don’t need to, it shows your greatness. When you treat everyone in your path, from your client’s secretary to the restaurant server, with kindness and gratitude, you show your real greatness and illuminate a shining character. 5. Share the credit. Whenever you are acknowledged for your work, be sure to mention every other person who contributed to your success, even in a small way. When a client congratulates you on a job well done, and you respond with , “Thank you, but credit must

really be shared with Jim and Susan, ” you will be a superhero. 6. When your own boss tells you that you did a great job on a project, and you bring your subordinate into the office and say something such as, “I appreciate your kind words,

Mr. Green, but I want you to know that Tim here deserves much of the credit,” they will become your two most loyal fans. Being capable is good, and many people are capable. Acting with complete integrity is great, and few people do so. It will set you apart and inspire unwavering loyalty.

11



If you take advantage of any of these opportunities to shine, you will exemplify what it means to be humble. You will not be seen as weak but as someone who is truly strong, and this strength will inspire others to attach themselves to you.

TECHNIQUE # 5 IMAGE CONSISTENCY

Human beings have a strong need to be congruent with their concepts of themselves. If someone thinks one way and then does something incongruous, he is seen as confused and perhaps a bit nutty, and we each perceive ourselves in the same fashion. The less stable a person is, the greater the degree of consistency he strives to maintain. In addition, when a person believes that you see him in a certain light, he is driven to maintain the image you have of him.

Brand Loyalty In a recent study. Dr. Read Montague, a professor at the Baylor College of Medicine, gave subjects the “Pepsi challenge” with an FMRI (Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) scanner. Simply, he asked participants to sample both Pepsi and Coke and then state their preference. The findings were fascinating. Subjects typically found Pepsi tastier, which was confirmed visually by the FMRI when the brain’s reward center lit up. Nevertheless, the Coke branding was so strong, as it related to their selfconcepts, that they vocalized support for it instead. Brands are so powerful that people will sometimes buy and use a product they like less than a

12



readily available alternative if they identify with it and see themselves as “that kind of person.”

There are a variety of ways to reshape a person’s self-concept. Language is the one of the simplest and most effective methods to do this. Example I: A manager wants to reinforce an employee’s commitment to the company during a difficult time. Well-orchestrated phrases can reshape instantly how a person sees himself or herself in your eyes. The following sample phrases are examples of ways to give people new images to live up to:

“You never take the easy way out. You’re someone who rides out the storm, no matter how rough things get. I want you to know that I have tremendous respect for your integrity and loyalty.” Now this employee begins to see himself in this way, and the more he respects who the message comes from, the stronger his commitment to maintain this image in the eyes of his employer.

Example II: II: A salesman wants to make sure that one of his vendors will keep doing business with him, even though he’s made several mistakes on the bills.

“I realize that we made an error on your invoice again. I so appreciate that you are willing to overlook mistakes and give people a chance to make it up to you. I really respect that about you. ”

13



A simple sentence can reshape her self-concept and your relationship to include the definition of someone who believes that of her. This makes her want to live up to the image that you have of her, and she is driven subconsciously to fulfill your expectations. You see her in a certain positive light, and she then needs to protect this image. Studies show that, because human beings have a strong need to be congruous with their self-concept, when we vocalize an opinionwhether or not we believe it to be true-we usually come to support it in time. For instance, in a class assignment, students were chosen randomly to take different sides of an issue. After mock debates students overwhelming accepted or at least sympathized with the position that they had to defend-even when they did not believe it to be true in the first place. In addition to the above strategy, when possible, arrange for someone for this person to speak, write, or explain to others the importance and value of your company’s ideals. In time his self-concept will re-form around his public declarations.

The Asch Experiment

In this classic experiment, subjects were asked to find the best match

14



for line A from the lines in group B. When asked alone, almost every person judged the middle line as the correct match. When the subject first listened to several other people, however, who were in on the experiment and who unanimously give a wrong answer, seventy-six percent of the subjects responded, at least once, in accord with the group, rather than trust their own judgment and their own objectively clear-cut answer. There was no pressure to conform, only the influence of the others.

Subsequent studies show that conformity and social pressure is strongest when people do not have personal allies, others in their corner, agreeing with them. For maximum advantage when using these techniques, make sure that the other person is not aligned with someone else who is not a firm supporter of you and what you are doing.

TECHNIQUE # 6 LOYALTY EARNED, NOT OWED

If you want someone to be loyal to you, you must demonstrate loyalty to that person. This behavior engages psychological dependency, whereby the other person feels that he or she owes you one, as well as making them, on a conscious level, want to stick by you. If you are in a position to come to the rescue when someone else’s back is against the wall, you will have earned their loyalty. Whenever someone does us a favor, it can make us uncomfortable because most of us do not like to owe anything to anyone. That makes us feel dependent, and human beings need a

15



sense of independence. Therefore, when we do something for someone else, showing our loyalty, that person feels driven unconsciously to pay us back. We also demonstrate on a conscious level our willingness to attach ourselves to that person, and he or she will then be more inclined to reciprocate. Example I: You want to influence your boss to go to bat for you regarding a higher-thanusual raise. If your boss comes under fire for something he’s done-let’s say he institutes a new and unpopular policy-you can go to him and say something supportive, such as, “Mrs. Brown, I know

there are some people who are unhappy with your new policy. The truth is that I’m not sure I love it eithermbut you’re the boss, and I am choosing to support you. Can you tell me how you would like me to proceed? I can speak to others, call a meeting, or whatever you think best to garner support for the new policy.” Once you have supported him, he will be more likely to support your needs and efforts. Example II: A district sales manager wants to prevent a big client from considering other vendors’ goods or services. Should a mistake arise on your customer’s invoice, and you go to bat for him, you will create your own insurance policy. For example, you might say, “Mr. White, I know that the

contract says 4,000 gallons of oil, and if you were told that you could get it at $45 a gallon, then that’s good enough for me.” Then copy him on any letters that you may send on his behalf, or keep him apprised of pertinent conversations or emails. This single gesture will have earned you an amazing amount of credit the next time you need him to support you and stand behind something that is important to you.

16



TECHNIQUE # 7 The Big Sell

The following few techniques are from my new book YOU CAN READ ANYONE:

Never be fooled, lied to, or taken advantage of Again. If you think that someone may be sabotaging your efforts, when she appears to be cooperating, use these techniques to find out whose side anyone is on, and fast. With this technique you actually bring up your concern she may not really be an ally. Then, afterward, all you have to do is gauge her mood. After having been accused of such a thing, the person, if really an ally, will still have some residual annoyance, sadness, or at least, questions. However, if she is really a saboteur, she is eager to change the subject, and you will notice a profound shift in mood—to positive--after this little talk. The secret here lies not in gauging her mood, while the subject is discussed–as she could be a convincing actress--rather, once you move on, notice if she is pleased with herself for having “sold you”, or upset with you for questioning her allegiance. The important part, of the technique, is to let her believe you accept what she says wholly and completely–no ifs, ands, or buts, so she does not believe she has to resell you, in which case it would appear like she is still annoyed. Example: Example : You think a co-worker has been conspiring behind your back You simply bring up your concern in a non-threatening way. For instance, “Helen, I heard a rumor that put Denise’s promotion ahead of mine, and downplayed my contribution to the team.” Now, you pretty much ignore whatever she says. You smile and accept her response. Then, take note if she continues to ask you why, and how, you could have thought the rumor implicates her, or, if she disappears and heads to lunch. If she is truly an ally, she will want to set

17



the record straight and clear the air; if she is a saboteur, she is looking to end the conversation as quickly as possible.

On High Alert People seeking to manipulate or control others, almost always present the image of a “nice” person. Of course, he may simply be a nice person; but you have to ask yourself the question, “Why is he being so nice to me?” Please understand, this is not to make a cynic out of you. Rather, it is a reminder that everyone has motivations, some good, and some bad. And if someone you do not know very well is being nice to you– especially if he does not seem to be in a good mood himself-it may be because he wants something from you… and is getting ready to manipulate you.

TECHNIQUE # 8 THE EAGER BEAVER

In this technique, you can gauge a person’s degree of loyalty, by determining how agreeable he is, under the circumstances. Now, the typical challenge is: the saboteur appears agreeable. You have to apply some tactful psychology. It works like this: you ask the person to give you something he can readily offer, at no risk to himself. Then, you turn up the heat a little bit, by putting his personal interests in jeopardy. The technique has to be done it two steps: Example I: You are a police officer canvassing a crime scene for witnesses. You approach a person you think saw exactly what happened. If you merely ask him,

18



“Did you see anything?” and he responds with a “No” and proceeds to walk away, you are, pretty much, out of options. You still do not know if he saw something and is uncooperative, or if he is telling the truth. Therefore, you will begin with an innocuous question, and note whether there is a change in cooperation and tone of conversation. For instance, you might say, “Do you feel comfortable living in this neighborhood?” or “Did you grow up around here?” You see, the questions are fairly non-threatening. Once you engage him in conversation, with this harmless patter, you switch the focus and ask your main question: “Did you see what happened?” Now, if he says no and tries to walk off, you know he is an uncooperative witness who may know what happened, but does not want to get involved. However, if he says no, but stays and continues to engage you in conservation, he is probably an ally and truly willing to help you. Of course, if at any time he acknowledges he saw something, you can assume there is a willingness to help. Take a look at another application: Example II: A plant manager believes one of three unauthorized employees, who have access to the warehouse, looked through some confidential boxes. She says the following to the three suspects… “We know that a partial image of the thief was caught on camera (obviously, not true, otherwise he would not need to interview them) and the company logo is missing from his jacket. Can I ask you three to bring your company jacket to my office?” You have three people, who presumably will be able to produce a jacket with logo intact. And the real culprit is thrilled because he is able to offer “proof” that he is not guilty because his jacket is not missing a logo—in fact, none of the jackets are. So, here is where the technique takes a twist: when each employee comes to her with the jacket, she adds, “I was wrong, the camera did show a logo, the image very unclear, so we didn’t see it at first. So instead they want

19



to test the jackets for fibers; you can leave yours with me now, or just drop it off before you leave work.” Now, she has him; the innocent person will leave the jacket, in order to quickly clear his name; the guilty person wants to clean up the garment (likely offering a very poor excuse as to why he needs to take it with him) before he submits it for testing. You see, if she merely asks the three men to turn in their jackets, in order to test for fibers, she will have no way of knowing who will be cleaning the jacket, and who will drop it off, without “tampering with the evidence”. By informing her suspects of the new criterion, once the jackets are in her possession, she can readily tell who is cooperating, and who is not.

TECHNIQUE # 9 ARE THEY HIDING ANYTHING?

When you have a sneaking suspicion another person may be up to something underhanded, you are left with three options, none of which is often productive: confront, ignore, or try to gather more information. If you confront the person, not only does it put him or her on the defensive, but, if it turns out you are wrong, there is a good chance you may appear paranoid or jealous, and the relationship may suffer. Ignoring the situation can be difficult and possibly damaging to you. Finally, trying to gather more facts on your own is time-consuming and can be counter-productive, if you are caught snooping around. Whenever you get a feeling deep-down that something dishonest is going on, such as your child doing drugs, your employee is stealing, or a friend is not loyal, then use f the following t to find out quickly, and easily, what a person is really up to, or has on his mind.

20



This technique virtually guarantees you can find out within minutes if someone has something to hide. It works like a Rorschach test, or what is commonly referred to as an inkblot test. The Rorschach test consists of abstract, bilaterally symmetrical splotches of inkblots. The theory behind the test is that a person’s interpretation of the shapes will reveal his or her unconscious attitudes and thoughts. With our technique, we use the same theory but employ it in an entirely new way--verbally. You ask a question that does not accuse the other person of anything, but rather alludes to the situation. Then, by simply gauging the response, you will be able to find out if the person has something to hide. In this way you are able to bring up a particular subject and find out if someone is comfortable, or concerned, with the topic, all without making a single accusation. Let us look at an example. Example I: A sales manager thinks one of his salespeople may be stealing office supplies. Asking outright, “Have you been stealing from the company?” would put her on the defensive immediately, making it nearly impossible to get to the truth. If she is not guilty, she will of course tell the manager she has not been stealing. If she is guilty, she will most likely lie and say she has not pilfered supplies. Instead, the manager might simply say something nonthreatening, such as: “Jill, I’m wondering if you could help me with something. It’s come to my attention that someone in the sales department has been taking home office supplies for personal use. Do you have any idea how we can put a stop to this?” Now he simply observes her reaction. If she asks questions and seems interested in the topic of conversation, he can be reasonably sure she is not doing the same activity, but if she becomes very uncomfortable and seeks to change the subject, then she is likely engaged in a similar behavior. The manager will notice an immediate shift in her demeanor and attitude. (For detailed signs of anxiety and

21



insecurity, please see Chapter 3.) If she is innocent of the behavior, she is likely to offer her advice and be pleased he sought out her opinion. If she is guilty, he will notice her becoming uncomfortable, and she will probably assure him she would never do anything like stealing. No reason exists for her to bring herself into the picture unless, of course, she is the one who feels guilty. Another way to apply the technique is simply to wonder aloud how someone could do a particular thing--what you think the other is doing--and simply gauging his/her response. Let us see how wondering aloud works: Example II: A woman thinks her date is acting a little bit odd and wonders if he is taking some kind of substance--prescribed or otherwise. To find out, she can ponder aloud: “Isn’t it interesting that people can use drugs and think that others wouldn’t know?” Alternatively, “I was just reading an article that said thirty-three percent of adults have tried recreational drugs at one time or another in their lives.” She brings up the subject indirectly, observing whether his reaction will reveal if he is hiding his own drug use. Someone, who is not engaged in the actions she mentions, will likely join in the conversation willingly, while someone who is involved in the behavior will move to shift the topic of conversation. The technique can also be applied by actually asking the other person for his advice. Example III: III: A hospital administrator suspects a doctor is drinking on duty She might say, “Dr. Smith, I’d like to get your advice on something. A colleague of mine, at another hospital, has a problem with one of her doctors. She feels he may be drinking while on call. Do you have any suggestions on how she can best approach this doctor?” Again, if he is guilty of the same behavior, he will likely become very uncomfortable. If he is not drinking on

22



duty, then he will be pleased you sought his advice and will offer it willingly and happily.

UPDATE! READ DR. LIBERMAN’S NEWEST BOOK

YOU CAN READ ANYONE

NEVER BE FOOLED, LIED TO, OR TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF AGAIN!

Have you ever wished you could peer into someone’s mind to find out what he or she is really thinking? Now you can. To be clear, this book is not a collection of recycled ideas about body language. We are not going to suggest that a woman’s hairstyle will give us unprecedented access into her soul, neither will we draw wildly ambiguous generalities about people based on our intuition or gut instinct, nor will we reach conclusions based on how she folds her hands or he ties his shoelaces. This book contains specific, practical, and proven, psychological techniques that you can use to know a person’s thoughts and feelings at anytime--often within minutes. Because the techniques can be applied instantly to any person in just about any situation, Dr. Lieberman has demonstrated their ease and accuracy on hundreds of television and radio programs. In a special report for FOX News, host Jeff Rosin declared, “It’s simply amazing! I

was with him and he was never wrong… not even once. I even learned how to do it and that’s saying something.” In fact, Dr. Lieberman has gone “head-to-head” on live television, with time . skilled polygraph examiners and scored just as well—every time.

23



You Can Read Anyone shows step-by-step exactly how to tell what someone is thinking and feeling in real-life situations . For example, you will see precisely how to determine whether another poker player will stay in or fold, whether a salesperson is trustworthy, or whether or not a first date is going your way or the other way. And when the stakes are high—negotiations, interrogations, questions of abuse, theft, or fraud-- knowing who is out for you, and who is out to get you (or a loved one) can save you time, money, energy, and heartache.

The New York Times put it best. In a feature article they simply said, “Don’t lie to David Lieberman ”. And now you too, can learn the most important psychological tools governing human behavior and do more than just put the odds in your favor. Set up the game so that you

can’t lose .

A TASTE OF WHAT’S INSIDE…



Is this Person Hiding Anything?

Do not get the wool pulled over your eyes! The next time you have a “sneaking” suspicion that someone may be “up” to something, use these techniques to casually find out if anyone- kids, coworker, spouse, or friend- is keeping something from you. 

Thumbs Up or Down --- Does He Like it or Not?

When you cannot figure out whether he has a favorable or unfavorable impression--of this person, place, or thing--use these techniques to know what he is really thinking, regardless of what he says. 

Is She Confident, or just Trying to Play it Cool?

How would you like to know if the person sitting across the poker table from you really

24



has a full house or just a pair of deuces; or, if your top executive is serious about quitting if he does not get a raise? The next time you’re in an interrogation, negotiation, or even poker hand, use these techniques to find out if your opponent is feeling good about his chances or just putting up a good front. 

How are Things?

When he walks out of a meeting and you want to know how it went–find out; is his new girlfriend a keeper or on the way out–find out; did he just lose a big account–find out? When he will not tell you what just happened or what is going on, use these techniques to find out fast, anytime. 

Is He Interested, or are You Wasting Your Time?

If you want to find out if your date likes you or not, if your co-worker is really interested in helping you with your project, or, if your prospect is interested in your product, then use these techniques to find out right away. 

Whose Side is She Really On?

Ally or Saboteur? Is she out for you, or to get you? If you think that someone may be sabotaging your efforts, when she appears to be cooperating, use these techniques to find out whose side anyone is on, and fast. 

Emotional Profile: Find Out just How Safe, Stable, and Sane

A Person is. Either through causal observance or from a two-minute conversation, you can learn the warning signs of emotional instability and the potential for violence. From a blind date, to the baby sitter, to a coworker, gain the advantage knowing what to look for, and what questions to ask, in order to protect you and your loved ones.

25





Blueprints to the Mind: Understanding the Decision-making Process

Go beyond reading basic thoughts and feelings, and learn how people think, so you can and profile anyone, predict behavior, and understand a person better than He does himself.

ORDER YOUR COPY NOW ON AMAZON

© 2006 David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.. A ll Rights Reserved. The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal.

This Amazon Short has been permanently saved in your Media Library. Library.

26

Back to Amazon.com

DAVID J. LIEBERMAN, Ph.D.

David Lieberman, Ph.D., is an award-winning author and internationally recognized leader in the field of human behavior and interpersonal relationships. Techniques based on his seven books, which have been translated into eighteen languages and include two New York Times bestsellers, are used by the FBI, The Department of the Navy, FORTUNE 500 companies, and by governments and corporations in more than twenty-five countries. He has appeared as a guest expert on more than 200 programs such as The Today Show , CNN, The Montel Williams Show, The O’Reilly Factor, and The View, and his work has been featured in publications around the world. Dr. Lieberman, whose Ph.D. is in psychology, lectures and holds workshops across the country on a variety of topics.


27

Back to Amazon.com

Also by DAVID J. LIEBERMAN, Ph.D. You Can Read Anyone How To Change Anybody Make Peace With Anyone Get Anyone To Do Anything Never Be Lied To Again Instant Analysis


28

David Lieberman Make Anyone Loyal

Recommend Documents