50 Activities for Coaching-Mentoring (Berry, Cadwell, Fehrmann)

50 Activities for Coaching/Mentoring Donna Berry Charles Cadwell Joe Fehrmann

HRD Press, Inc. • Amherst • Massachusetts

Copyright © 1993, Donna Berry, Charles Cadwell, and Joe Fehrmann

The materials that appear in this book, other than those quoted from prior sources, may be reproduced for educational/training activities. There is no requirement to obtain special permission for such uses. We do, however, ask that the following statement appear on all reproductions: Reproduced from 50 Activities for Coaching/Mentoring by Donna Berry, Charles Cadwell, and Joe Fehrmann. Amherst, MA: HRD Press, 1993. This permission statement is limited to reproduction of materials for educational or training events. Systematic or large-scale reproduction or distribution, or inclusion of items in publications for sale, may be carried out only with prior written permission from the publisher.

Published by:

HRD Press, Inc. 22 Amherst Road Amherst, MA 01002 1-800-822-8201 (U.S. and Canada) 413-253-3488 413-253-3490 (fax) www.hrdpress.com

ISBN 0-87425-218-0

Production services by Jean Miller Cover design by Eileen Klockars Editorial services by Sally M. Farnham

Contents Preface ........................................................................................

v

Introduction ...................................................................................

1

Developing Coaching/Mentoring Skills ....................................................

5

Index to Activities............................................................................

9

Time Checklist ................................................................................

13

Symbols ........................................................................................

15

The Activities 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

Rock, Paper, Scissors .............................................................. Strike Three, You’re Out .......................................................... Card Exchange ...................................................................... Who am I?............................................................................ Attitudes or Attributes? ........................................................... Picture That ......................................................................... How do you rate? ................................................................... Focus on Coaching Skills........................................................... String Toss ........................................................................... Let’s Have a BEER .................................................................. Wanna BET?.......................................................................... Making a Sandwich ................................................................. Chair Walking ....................................................................... Positive Feedback .................................................................. Goal Ladder ......................................................................... Construction......................................................................... Origami............................................................................... Card Houses ......................................................................... Idea Exchange....................................................................... Reel Movies .......................................................................... Coaches Bowl........................................................................ How am I doing? .................................................................... Trivia Quiz ........................................................................... Dueling Families .................................................................... Concentrate on. . . ................................................................ Coaching Challenge ................................................................ Opposite Poles ...................................................................... Nonverbal Behaviors ............................................................... Fishbowl.............................................................................. Recognition Brainstorm............................................................ Word Search ......................................................................... Finish the Sentence ................................................................

17 25 31 35 39 47 49 53 57 59 65 67 71 75 77 85 89 93 97 99 103 107 117 119 125 131 139 141 151 153 157 163

50 Activities for Coaching/Mentoring 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50

Theory X/Theory Y Assumptions ................................................. Letter to a Friend .................................................................. The Lovers ........................................................................... Say what you mean!................................................................ Three-Element Messages .......................................................... Proxemics............................................................................ What are you gonna do? ........................................................... Translation, Please................................................................. “Yeah, but. . .” .................................................................... Making Assignments ................................................................ Coaching Miscues ................................................................... Tic-Tac-Toe.......................................................................... Information Overload .............................................................. Listen up! ............................................................................ “Just Thought I’d Ask” ............................................................ “Say what?” ......................................................................... Tearing up Communication ....................................................... You want me to do what? .........................................................

165 175 177 185 189 195 201 215 221 225 235 245 249 255 257 267 273 279

About the Authors ............................................................................

291

Preface Everyone wants to write a book, but very few people do. We wanted to write a book too, but not a whole book. So we each wrote one-third of a book. They say two heads are better than one. For us, three heads were just the number we needed. Although we’re not that old (in our own minds at least), among the three of us we have nearly 60 years of experience in education and training. Coming up with 50 activities meant less than one activity for each year of experience. The hard part was remembering back through all those years and then finding the best ones. We think we’ve succeeded. You can teach old dogs new tricks—and for that we’re grateful. We appreciate the input we received from several members of the Sunflower Chapter of the American Society for Training and Development (ASTD) who attended our pre-publishing party and helped us fine tune many of these exercises (and eliminate some that didn’t quite hit the mark). If you have tricks you would like to share with these “old dogs,” we’d be glad to hear from you. In the meantime, we hope you’ll enjoy using these activities as much as we enjoyed putting them together.

Donna Berry Charles Cadwell Joe Fehrmann

∼v∼

Introduction About Us All three of us started out in an academic environment and later switched to the business world. It was there that we began to learn how important active involvement was in adult education. We soon realized what most trainers now take for granted— adults want to be actively involved in the learning process. As trainers in the corporate world we also learned the difference between “active learning” and “having a good time” in class. That was the signal that we needed to develop our own specialized activities that related directly to the performance that management expected when our participants returned to their jobs. We subscribe to Robert F. Mager’s belief that training is only a means to an end—and that the end is performance. Unless the people who attend training can perform their jobs in a way to help their organizations accomplish their goals and objectives, we might as well not bother conducting training in the first place. That belief has led us to strive for continuous improvement of our training activities so that the people who attend our sessions can apply what they learn on the job.

About Course Participants Experience tells us that the more involved participants are in the process, the more they will learn. We know that the simple act of asking questions and getting people involved in a discussion increases their retention. We also know that some people are hesitant to get involved in a large group activity, but will do fine in a smaller group. That knowledge has helped us remember that no matter what size group you are working with, you can have active involvement of all participants if you break down larger groups into smaller subgroups. That’s why you’ll find that a majority of the activities in this book can easily be adapted to participant groups of 3 to 300. We also know that participants often learn more from each other than they do from us. This revelation has led us to stop thinking of ourselves as trainers and to start thinking of ourselves as learning facilitators. The activities in this book will encourage your participants to interact more with each other than with you. Don’t feel left out— that’s a good sign. Remember your job is to facilitate their learning, not to be the allknowing trainer.

∼1∼

50 Activities for Coaching/Mentoring About You Being a facilitator may sound like less work than being a trainer, but it’s really harder work. Effective facilitators are always looking for ways to help their participants learn as much as possible from their experiences in the classroom. While activities are in progress, facilitators circulate through the groups to provide help and assistance to ensure that learning objectives are met. The best facilitators are constantly learning right along with their participants. They learn new ways of looking at things and are willing to admit they don’t have all the answers. They learn what works and what doesn’t work and make necessary modifications for future participant groups. The best facilitators are true practitioners of excellent customer service and do whatever it takes to satisfy their customers’ (participants’) need to learn. The activities in this book are designed to help your participants learn through active involvement. Whether you are an experienced veteran of the classroom or are new to the task, this volume will enable you to provide your participants with a wide variety of interactive exercises that will enhance their on-the-job performance of coaching/ mentoring skills.

About This Volume Although the activities in this volume are commonly referred to as training activities, we consider them to be performance improvement exercises. We chose this approach because, as stated earlier, we understand that the real purpose of training is to improve performance. Anyone can be a trainer and conduct activities, but improving performance is about facilitating learning. Improving performance requires being able to connect the classroom activity to the learner’s job. Improving performance means answering the often unspoken participant question, “What’s in it for me?” With this in mind, each activity is organized in a user friendly format that, when followed, will guide you through the following process: • • • • •

Establishing the objectives Conducting the activity Reviewing participant experience Discussing key learning points Considering application to job performance

This process will ensure that learners do more than just participate in an activity. The proper execution of the total learning experience will provide learners with proven methods of improving their job performance—which means successful facilitation for you.

∼2∼

Introduction This volume contains a wide variety of activities. They range from the simple and lighthearted to the complex and risky. Some take only a few minutes, while others take longer. Some will provide an obvious “ah-ha” to the learner, while others will require more contemplation and analysis. Many different learning methods are employed. You will find questionnaires, physical activities, games, role plays, and simulations. This mix reflects our belief that different approaches are required to achieve different learning objectives. Use the Index to Activities to identify the various coaching/mentoring skill areas covered in this volume. Then select the appropriate activity to develop the skill and performance of your learners.

About the Activities Each activity is presented in a uniform way. The facilitator is provided with the following: •

Activity number and title.

•

Description. A short outline of the activity.

•

Objectives. What the participants should be able to do after they experience the activity.

•

Skill areas. A summary of the skills that can be developed by using this particular exercise.

•

Participants. Guidance on size and type of group.

•

Time. This is an estimate only. Timing will depend on group size and the depth to which you wish to pursue learning points.

•

Resources. The materials you’ll need to prepare to facilitate learning.

•

Method and note. A step-by-step, at-a-glance guide to conducting the activity. Provides guidance on timing, how to best use the activity, background information, and suggested discussion points. In order to initiate the discussion, we have often provided a list of suggested questions to ask.

•

Exercises. These are designed to increase participant involvement. They are ready to be photocopied for use during the activity.

•

Handouts. Again, these are ready to be photocopied. They provide a means for communicating some of the key learning points or background information about the exercise.

•

Observer sheets. These are used in conjunction with some of the exercises and are also in a form that can be photocopied.

•

Trainer’s notes. These notes, when given, provide either further background information or precise details of materials required for the activity. They are not intended for distribution and are found in only some of the activities.

∼3∼

Developing Coaching/Mentoring Skills Importance of Coaching/Mentoring We have developed and assembled this collection of activities because we believe that the role of the coach/mentor is critical in today’s organizations. Organizations are changing. They are getting smaller and flatter. Middle managers are expected to do more with less. One of the keys to the success of today’s supervisors will be their ability to lead and coach their people.

Coaching and Mentoring Roles We define coaching as “the process of developing employees by providing them with opportunities to develop their skills and experience while ensuring they receive continuous feedback, counseling, and follow up.” Closely associated with coaching is the concept of mentoring. The two terms are often used interchangeably and indeed they have very similar meanings. One distinction that can be drawn is to think of coaching in terms of the boss-employee relationship. A mentor, on the other hand, may be a peer or another person in the organization, but does not necessarily involve a direct reporting relationship. The mentor’s role is to provide guidance, answer questions, and help develop the individual’s skills and experience. The mentor has to rely on his/her ability to influence the other person without benefit of a supervisory relationship. Regardless of the term you prefer, the successful coach/mentor has to be able to help the people they are working with to •

better appreciate their own strengths and weaknesses;

•

encourage them to establish goals or targets for further performance improvement;

•

monitor and review progress in achieving their goals;

•

identify problems that may be adversely affecting progress;

•

generate alternatives and an action plan for dealing with identified problems;

•

improve their understanding of the work environment; and

•

realize their full potential.1

1

Pareek, V., & Venkateswara, R. (1990). Performance coaching, The 1990 Annual: Developing Human Resources (San Diego, CA: University Associates).

∼5∼

50 Activities for Coaching/Mentoring Coaching Characteristics Successful coaches/mentors have to possess a variety of skills in order to succeed in their roles with those assigned to them. Dennis C. Kinlaw, Ed.D., in his book Coaching for Commitment: Managerial Strategies for Obtaining Superior Performance, has suggested that successful coaches have to possess the following characteristics: •

Contact and core communication skills. The role of coaching is largely undertaken in a variety of informal conversations. Thus, the coach must have regular and easy contact with those they are supposed to coach.

•

Counseling. This consists of helping other people solve their own problems rather than providing solutions.

•

Mentoring. Kinlaw suggests this is the process of developing in others such things as political savvy, sensitivity to the organization’s culture, and proactively managing their own careers.

•

Tutoring. Success is measured by the degree to which a person helps others to obtain the knowledge and expertise needed in their work.

•

Confronting and challenging. These skills are needed to help the less-thansuccessful performers to become successful and to challenge the successful employees to become superior performers.2

The confronting and challenging skills require the use of a coaching model to deal with performance problems.

Coaching Model When the performance of their people does not meet expectations or developmental goals are missed because of performance deficiencies, effective coaches use a fourstep process to solve performance problems: 1. 2. 3. 4.

Get agreement that a problem exists. Decide on a solution. Follow up. Give recognition when the problem is solved.

This coaching model is explained in detail in Activity 39, What Are You Gonna Do? This activity also gives participants the opportunity to apply the coaching method in both a simulated and real work situation.

2

Kinlaw, D. C. (1991). Coaching for commitment: managerial strategies for obtaining superior performance (San Diego, CA: University Associates).

Developing Coaching/Mentoring Skills The 50 Activities Developing the skills and characteristics necessary to be effective and using the coaching model in a positive manner requires providing the would-be coach/mentor with a variety of learning experiences. This volume is designed to do just that. We have included activities that address such skills as building trust, collaboration, counseling, goal setting, listening, and setting expectations. These and other skills areas are identified in the Index to Activities. We are confident, as you select and use the appropriate activities for your learning environments, the coaches and mentors you work with will be able to develop the skills they need to be successful and to lead their organizations.

∼7∼

∼9∼ 75 77

14. Positive Feedback

15. Goal Ladder

57

9. String Toss

71

53

8. Focus on Coaching Skills

13. Chair Walking

49

7. How do you rate?

67

47

6. Picture That

12. Making a Sandwich

39

5. Attitudes or Attributes?

65

35

4. Who am I?

11. Wanna BET?

31

3. Card Exchange

59

25

2. Strike Three, You're Out

10. Let's Have a BEER

17

Page Number

1. Rock, Paper, Scissors

Icebreakers O

O

O

Analyzing Performance Problems O

O

Assertiveness O

O

O

O

Building Trust O

Collaboration

O

Communication O

O

O

Counseling O

Delegating O

Evaluation O

O

O

O

O

O

O

Goal Setting O

O

O

O

Listening O

O

Networking O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

Nonverbal Communication

Index to Activities

Nurturing O

O

Orientation O

Questioning O

Recognition and Reward O

Role of Coach/Mentor O

O

O

O

Setting Expectations O

O

O

O

O

Training O

O

O

Course Closures O

O

O

O

Developing Coaching/Mentoring Skills

85 89 93 97 99 103 107 117 119 125 131 137 139 149 151

17. Origami

18. Card Houses

19. Idea Exchange

20. Reel Movies

21. Coaches Bowl

22. How am I doing?

23. Trivia Quiz

24. Dueling Families

25. Concentrate on...

26. Coaching Challenge

27. Opposite Poles

28, Nonverbal Behaviors

29. Fishbowl

30. Recognition Brainstorm

Page Number

16. Construction

Icebreakers

∼ 10 ∼ O

O

O


O

O

O

Assertiveness

O

Building Trust O

Collaboration

O

Communication O

O

Counseling O

Delegating O

O

Evaluation O

O

Goal Setting O

O

Listening O

O

O


Networking

Index to Activities

Nurturing O

Orientation O


O

Role of Coach/Mentor O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O


O

Training O

O

O

Course Closures O

O

O

O

O

O

O

50 Activities for Coaching/Mentoring

Questioning

155 161 163 173 175 183 187 193 199 213 219 223 233 243 247

32. Finish the Sentence

33. Theory X/Theory Y Assumptions

34. Letter to a Friend

35. The Lovers

36. Say what you mean!

37. Three-Element Messages

38. Proxemics

39. What are you gonna do?

40. Translation, Please

41. "Yeah, but..."

42. Making Assignments

43. Coaching Miscues

44. Tic-Tac-Toe

45. Information Overload

Page Number

31. Word Search

Icebreakers

∼ 11 ∼ O

O

O


O

O

Building Trust O

O

O

O

O

Collaboration O

O

Communication O

Counseling Delegating

Listening

Nurturing O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

O

Goal Setting

O

Networking

O

O

Orientation

O

O

Questioning

O


O

Evaluation O

O

O

Role of Coach/Mentor

O

O


Assertiveness

Index to Activities


O

O

O

Course Closures O

O

Developing Coaching/Mentoring Skills

Training

∼ 12 ∼ O

O

O

O

253

255

265

271

277

47. "Just Thought I'd Ask"

48. "Say what?"

49. Tearing up Communication

50. You want me to do what?

O

O

O

O O O

O

O

Index to Activities

46. Listen up! Page Number Icebreakers Analyzing Performance Problems Assertiveness Building Trust Collaboration Communication Counseling Delegating Evaluation Goal Setting Listening Networking Nonverbal Communication Nurturing Orientation Questioning Recognition and Reward

O

O

Role of Coach/Mentor

O


Training Course Closures


Time Checklist This checklist gives an approximate indication of the minimum time necessary to conduct each activity. The actual time will depend on size of group, length of time allowed for discussion, and other variables that can occur during any course.

One-half hour or less Strike Three, You’re Out Card Exchange Picture That How do you rate? String Toss Wanna BET? Chair Walking Positive Feedback Construction Origami Card Houses Idea Exchange Reel Movies Trivia Quiz Coaching Challenge Opposite Poles Fishbowl Word Search Finish the Sentence Say what you mean! Three-Element Messages Proxemics Translation, Please Listen up! “Say what?”

Between one-half hour and one hour Rock, Paper, Scissors Who am I? Attitudes or Attributes? Focus on Coaching Skills Let’s Have a BEER Making a Sandwich Coaches Bowl How am I doing? Dueling Families Concentrate on. . . Theory X/Theory Y Assumptions

∼ 13 ∼

50 Activities for Coaching/Mentoring Letter to a Friend The Lovers “Yeah, but…” Tic-Tac-Toe Information Overload “Just Thought I’d Ask” Tearing up Communications You want me to do what?

More than one hour Goal Ladder Making Assignments Recognition Brainstorm What are you gonna do? Nonverbal Behaviors Coaching Miscues

∼ 14 ∼

Symbols The following symbols are used throughout this document: Handout Exercise Trainer’s Notes

∼ 15 ∼

1

Rock, Paper, Scissors

Description This activity illustrates the issues that arise when people are assigned to team situations and are encouraged to compete with and beat the competition.

Objectives By the end of this activity, participants will be able to • •

describe the value of collaboration rather than competition; and explain the factors that affect building a trust relationship.

Skill Areas • •

Building trust Collaboration

Participants Number: Type:

12 to 18 Any, but especially those for whom a working relationship built on trust is important

Time 30 to 60 minutes, including discussion

Resources • • •

One copy each of Handout 1.1 and Exercise 1.1 for each participant Sufficient space for two teams to work without being overheard by each other and an open space for participants to meet Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

∼ 17 ∼

Activity 1


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Identify between 12 and 18 participants to take part in the activity. Remaining participants, if any, are to record their observations for later discussion. • • • •

Divide participants into two teams. Have each team elect or appoint a player. Have each team elect or appoint a scorekeeper. Have each team select a name for the team.

Step 2: Distribute Handout 1.1. Notes: Give each participant, including the players, a copy of Handout 1.1. Explain the purpose of the activity: to accumulate as high a score as possible for the team. Explain the rules: • •

•

The activity is based on the old game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. When meeting, players will face each other and maintain eye contact as they will each raise and lower one fist three times in a “table pounding” motion. On the count of 3, they will each use their hand to represent one of the following: Rock = closed fist Paper = open hand Scissors = V formed with index and middle fingers

•

Scorekeepers will record the results on Exercise 1.1 based on the scoring guidelines and these rules: 1. Rock (+) breaks Scissors (—) 2. Scissors (+) cuts Paper (—) 3. Paper (+) covers Rock (—)

Step 3: Explain exercise “rounds.” Refer participants to Exercise 1.1. Notes: • • •

Rounds 1, 2, and 3: Players start the game without consulting their respective team and without talking to each other. Rounds 4, 5, and 6: Players consult with their team to decide how to play the game. They do not talk to each other. Rounds 7, 8, and 9: Players may talk with each other as well as with their team. Players must, however, proceed the way the team decides.

At no time during the exercise are participants to talk to members of the other team or to class members who are observing.

∼ 18 ∼

Activity 1


Step 4: Explain scoring. Notes: Scorekeepers will assign points based on scoring guidelines. • • • •

During rounds 1, 2, and 3, scores are face value. During rounds 4, 5, and 6, scores are doubled. During rounds 7, 8, and 9, scores are tripled. Scores are totaled after round 9. The team with the highest score is the winner.

Step 5: Conduct the activity. Notes: Allow discussion for 30 seconds per round for rounds 4, 5, and 6. Allow discussion for 60 seconds for rounds 7, 8, and 9. Have scorekeepers record scores after each round. Have observers, if any, verify scores. Total the scores at the end of the activity and congratulate the “winners” and give condolences to the “losers.” Option: You can influence the game’s outcome by • •

instructing one of the teams to establish a “win-win” strategy; and/or instructing one of the teams to “double-cross” the other team.

Step 6: Review the activity by asking the participants to describe what happened. Notes: Lead a discussion on how this exercise revealed issues in collaboration and teamwork. Questions you might ask: • • • • • • • • • • •

What was the objective of each team? In what ways did the teams collaborate? Did anything prevent collaboration? How could these obstacles have been overcome? Was there a clear “winner” or “loser”? Why or why not? Did one team have a higher score than the other? Does that create a “winner” or a “loser”? What was done to build trust between the players? What was done to build trust between the teams? If trust was “betrayed,” what could have been done to restore it? How were the teams like work groups or organizational units? What behavioral comparisons can be drawn? Did the players identify with their teams or with each other?

∼ 19 ∼

Activity 1


Step 7: Summarize the learning points on a flipchart. Notes: Allow 5 to 10 minutes. The learning points should be those that emerged from Step 6. Focus on how learning can be applied on the job. Some possibilities could be: •

Teams tend to be competitive.

•

Collaboration between teams is sometimes difficult because of a natural competitive spirit.

•

Trust between individuals on a team has to be established before trust between teams is possible.

•

Collaboration can result in everyone being “winners.”

∼ 20 ∼

Handout 1.1

Rock, Paper, Scissors This activity is based on the old game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. In this game, two players form symbols for rock, paper, or scissors with their hands, trying to guess what their opponent will do. The goal is to accumulate the highest possible score for your team. Team members who have been selected as players will face each other in an area apart from their team. Maintaining eye contact, they will raise and lower one of their fists three times in a “table pounding” motion. On the count of 3, they will each use their hand to represent one of the following: Rock = closed fist Paper = open hand Scissors = V formed with index and middle fingers Scoring follows this guideline: Rock (+) breaks Scissors (—) Scissors (+) cuts Paper (—) Paper (+) covers Rock (—) The game will include nine rounds of play. Scorekeepers will use the following scoring guidelines: scores are at face value during rounds 1—3, doubled during rounds 4—6, and tripled during rounds 7—9. After the activity, the facilitator will lead a discussion.

Reproduced from 50 Activities for Coaching/Mentoring by Donna Berry, Charles Cadwell, and Joe Fehrmann. Amherst, MA: HRD Press, 1993.

∼ 21 ∼

Exercise 1.1

Exercise 1.1: Scoresheet Using the guidelines below, the scorekeepers will indicate each player’s choice and score for each round. Rounds 1—3: Players play without consulting their teams. They are not allowed to talk to each other. Round 1: Round 2: Round 3:

Player 1 Score Score Score

Choice Choice Choice



Rounds 4—6: Players may consult with their teams to decide how to play. Discussion time is limited to 30 seconds per round. Scores are doubled. Round 4: Round 5: Round 6:





Rounds 7—9: Players must now consult with each other. Discussion time is limited to one minute per round. Scores are tripled. Round 7: Round 8: Round 9:





Scoring Guidelines Player 1

Player 2

Choice

Score

Choice

Score

Scissors

+5

Scissors

+5

Scissors

0

Rock

+10

Scissors

+10

Paper

0 0

Rock

0

Rock

Rock

0

Paper

+5

+10

Paper

+10

Paper


∼ 23 ∼

2

Strike Three, You’re Out

Description This activity illustrates the necessity of complete communication between the coach and the team or individual. It also demonstrates how an ineffective coach can cause people to become frustrated, fearful, resentful, and generally nonproductive.

Objectives By the end of this activity, participants will be able to • • • •

describe the need for complete, honest, and open communication to meet competition; experience the frustration of the worker who is expected to perform to standards that are either unknown or vague; appreciate team effort; and describe the attributes of an effective coach.

Skill Areas • • • • • •

Analyzing performance problems Collaboration Communication/Nonverbal communication Goal setting Role of the coach Setting expectations


Any Any

Time 20 to 40 minutes

Resources • • • • • •

Exercise 2.1 for the coaches One copy of Exercise 2.1 for each team Balloons in a variety of colors (enough for 12 balloons per participant) Straight pins (or any sharp object) A timer, flipchart, or whiteboard for scorekeeping Prizes (optional)

∼ 25 ∼

Activity 2


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: In order to illustrate the effectiveness of teams to produce in a competitive environment, divide the participants into groups of five. Explain that each team will have a coach and that the team’s goal will be to produce more “acceptable” inflated balloons than the opposing team(s). Give 12 balloons to each participant. Instruct the teams that they will be given five minutes to produce balloons. Ask each team to select a coach to lead the activity. Step 2: Explain Exercise 2.1 to the coaches. Notes: Take the coaches out of the room and give them complete written instructions for what will be judged as an acceptable inflated balloon. They will also receive the pin or some other sharp object. The only feedback they are allowed to give their team is approval or rejection of balloons. Rejection of inferior work will be indicated by the coach popping the balloon with the sharp object. Take the coaches back into the room. If you have an extra person, appoint that person as scorekeeper. Step 3: Brief the team. Notes: Tell the teams that their coach will accept only those balloons that meet the criteria; only acceptable balloons will count in their competitive standing. If the participants ask what constitutes “acceptable,” tell them that their coach will give them constant feedback concerning the acceptability of the balloon. Step 4: Brief the coaches. Notes: Participants are to hold acceptable balloons high in the air until they are counted by the scorekeeper. Remind them once again that they have five minutes to produce more acceptable balloons than the opposing team(s). Step 5: Set the timer for five minutes and give the “Begin” signal. Start timer. Notes: The participants will want verbal feedback and will become increasingly frustrated as unacceptable balloons are popped. Some teams will attempt to uncover the riddle of what made one balloon okay and caused another to be popped. Some teams will become fearful of the “reprimand pop” and will stop producing. In each respect, the lesson will be clear.

∼ 26 ∼

Activity 2


Step 6: Call “Time” and stop production. Notes: Congratulate the winning team. Give condolences to the loser(s). Step 7: Nonverbal feedback: Distribute prizes to the winners if you have chosen that option. Verbal feedback: Prepare to answer outcry. Notes: In response to the complaints about the lack of fairness, ask for feedback. Questions you might ask: • • •

What problems did you have with production? What would have facilitated production? What caused frustration, anxiety, or confusion?

Step 8: Review the activity. Notes: Ask the participants to describe: • • •

What just happened? What was learned? Why was this activity conducted?

Lead a discussion about the necessity of complete and fully understood communication for team or individual production and morale. Lead the participants in understanding and discussing the attributes of the effective coach as a person who sets specific standards and makes sure that those standards are fully understood and accepted by the person or persons doing the work. Step 9: Summarize the learning concepts on a flipchart. Notes: Allow 5 to 10 minutes. The concepts learned should be those that emerged from the discussion during Step 8. Focus on how that understanding can be applied on the job. Some possibilities could be: • • • •

Effective communication should be specific. Employees want to know what is expected of them. Ineffective communication results in lower productivity. Ineffective communication causes people to become frustrated, fearful, and resentful.

∼ 27 ∼

Exercise 2.1

Exercise 2.1: The Coach’s Dilemma Instructions for the coach: As coach, your team will depend on you for leadership in this competition. As a team, they will produce balloons for your approval. You will be guided by the following criteria for the acceptance or rejection of each balloon submitted. You may accept balloons only if all of the following standards are met: 1. The inflated balloons are handed to you, one at a time, by members of the team. 2. Production team members use only their left hands to give the balloons to you. 3. No production team member may submit two balloons in a row. You will take a balloon only from a team member different from the last person who handed you one. 4. You accept only a balloon that is different in color than the last one handed to you. If balloons do not meet all of the above conditions, you must reject the balloon by immediately popping it. No talking or explanations of any kind are permitted. Accepted balloons are held in the air until the scorekeeper counts them and then they may be lowered.


∼ 29 ∼

3

Card Exchange

Description This activity encourages involvement and the interaction of all group members. The activity is flexible and can be used at the beginning, during, or at the end of a course.


interact with other participants; and describe several roles of a coach/mentor.

Skill Areas • • • •

Icebreaker Networking Role of coach/mentor Course closure


Any Any


Resources • • • •

Business cards Index cards cut to the size of business cards Pen or pencil for each participant Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

∼ 31 ∼

Activity 3


Method Step 1: Prepare the activity. Notes: Before the session in which you use this activity, find out how many participants have business cards with them. Each participant will need the same number of cards as there are group members. Cut index cards to use as business cards for those participants who need them. Step 2: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain that the goal is to learn as many different coaching roles as possible and to network with as many other participants as possible. Note: Depending on the size of the group, you may wish to divide into smaller groups. Step 3: Prepare the cards. Notes: Distribute blank cards to those who do not have business cards. Have them write their names and any other pertinent information on one side of the card. Each participant is asked to select the role of a coach/mentor that they think is most important and write it on the back of their business cards/index cards. Each participant should complete the same number of cards as there are group members. Step 4: Start the activity. Notes: Have participants walk around the room and meet with one another. As they meet, they exchange business cards and take 1 to 2 minutes to discuss the roles they have written on their cards. The activity continues in this manner until everyone has collected a card from each group member or until you call “Time.”

∼ 32 ∼

Activity 3


Step 5: Getting acquainted (optional). Notes: If used as an icebreaker, when participants meet they should introduce themselves and find out about one another. You should provide a list of things for them to find out about one another. Step 6: Review the activity. Notes: Have participants go through the cards they collected and select the three coaching roles that they think are most important. Have them rank order their three choices. As participants share their choices, write their responses on a flipchart. Determine the group’s top three choices and discuss why they selected them. If time permits, discuss other choices that they considered to be less important. Conclude by relating the top choices to information you have (or will) be covering during the course.

∼ 33 ∼

4

Who am I?

Description This activity encourages physical interaction and encourages participants to get involved in the learning process.


ask questions to obtain information; and name several other participants.

Skill Areas • • • • •

Icebreaker Communication Listening Networking Questioning


Any Any

Time 30 minutes


Self-stick labels/name tags or paper signs and straight pins Paper and pen or pencil for each participant Prizes (optional)

∼ 35 ∼

Activity 4


Method Step 1: Prepare the activity. Notes: Prior to participants arriving, prepare name tags with names of famous people who would be known to participants. Names can be of those who are either living or dead, real or fictional, all of the same type, or mixed. Some examples: John Wayne Madonna George Bush Moses Tom Sawyer

Jimmy Stewart Cher Bill Clinton Jesus Huck Finn

Another option is to prepare name tags in pairs so that the activity has two steps: 1. Find out who you are. 2. Find the person who goes with you. For example: Salt/Pepper Sugar/Cream George/Gracie Abbott/Costello Bush/Cheney Bill/Hillary Step 2: Introduce the activity. Notes: Review the objectives. Explain to participants that the greater number of people they interact with, the better their chances of being successful. Step 3: Put a name tag on the back of each participant to prevent the individual from seeing it. Notes: One way to do this is to give each participant a name tag and have the group stand in two circles—one within the other. Participants put the name tag on the back of the person standing in front of or behind them.

∼ 36 ∼

Activity 4


Step 4: Start the activity. Notes: Each participant is to ask someone else in the group a yes/no question about his/her identity. Examples include: • • • •

Am I a living person? Am I male? Am I a thing? Could you taste me?

The activity continues until each person in the group learns his/her identity. Have participants keep track of how many questions they ask. Step 5: Getting acquainted (optional). Notes: If used as an icebreaker, after participants learn their secret identity, have them meet with another person and learn about their real identities. This works well if you use the “pairs” concept. In this case “Salt” and “Pepper” would interview each other. Step 6: Award prizes (optional). Notes: To create a contest, you could give a prize to the person who learns his/her identity first. You could also give a prize to the person who asks the fewest questions before learning his/her identity. Step 7: Review the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • • • •

How easy/difficult was it asking only yes/no questions? What other types of questions would have been helpful? What does this tell you about the types of questions you should ask to obtain information? How important was listening? Why did it take you so long to learn your identity? How can you apply what you’ve learned to a coaching situation?

∼ 37 ∼

5

Attitudes or Attributes?

Description This activity encourages participants to explore the importance of attitudes and attributes of successful coaches. Participants also have the opportunity to evaluate their own attitudes and attributes.

Objectives By the end of this activity, participants will be able to • • •

list attitudes of successful coaches; list attributes of successful coaches; and evaluate their own attitudes and attributes.


Evaluation Orientation Role of coach Training


Any Any

Time 1 hour

Resources • •

One copy each of Exercises 5.1 and 5.2 for each participant Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

∼ 39 ∼

Activity 5


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Ask participants to define the terms “attitude” and “attribute.” Discuss the differences between attitudes and attributes. Step 2: Distribute one copy of Exercise 5.1 to each participant. Notes: Review the directions with the group and allow 5 to 10 minutes to complete the questionnaire. Step 3: Discuss the importance of a coach’s attitude. Notes: Ask participants to share the results of their questionnaires. Discuss specific attitudes and their importance. Record pertinent comments on the flipchart. Questions you might ask: • • • • •

What role do you think attitudes play in a coach’s success? Think of someone you consider to be a successful coach. What attitudes does he/she have? Which attitudes do you think are most important? Why? What can you do if you have a “low” attitude score? How can you use the results of this questionnaire on the job?

Step 4: Distribute one copy of Exercise 5.2 to each participant. Notes: Review the directions with the group and allow 5 to 10 minutes to complete the worksheet. Step 5: Discuss the importance of a coach’s attributes. Notes: Ask participants to share the results of their worksheets. Discuss specific attributes and their importance. Record pertinent comments on the flipchart. Questions you might ask: • • •

What role do you think attributes play in a coach’s success? Think of someone you consider to be a successful coach. What attributes does he/she have? Which attributes do you think are most important? Why?

∼ 40 ∼

Activity 5


• •

What can you do if you have a “low” attribute score? How can you use the results of this questionnaire on the job?

Step 6: Discuss the relationship between attitudes and attributes. Notes: Go back to the definitions agreed to earlier. Ask participants if they still think their original definitions are valid or if they need to be changed. Ask participants which they think are most important—attitudes or attributes. Ask participants to describe the relationship between attitudes and attributes as they relate to successful coaches. Step 7: Review the activity. Notes: Challenge participants to identify one or two attitudes and/or attributes that they want to improve. Have them write a brief statement of what they plan to do. The statement should be as specific as possible.

∼ 41 ∼

Exercise 5.1

Exercise 5.1: Coaching Attitudes Listed below are several attitudes that can affect your success as a coach. Circle the number that you think best describes your personal attitudes as a coach. Rarely

Sometimes

Often

1. I am genuinely interested in what my people do.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

2. I support the decisions my people make.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

3. I praise my people when they are successful.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

4. I encourage my people to think for themselves.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

5. I allow my people to participate in decisions.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

6. I encourage my people to work together as a team.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

7. I am able to remain objective when discussing problems.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8. I look for the “good” in what people do rather than the “bad.”

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

9. I display a positive attitude even when things are going wrong.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

10. I enjoy seeing my people be successful.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

11. I enjoy helping my people be successful even when they get more credit than I do.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7


∼ 43 ∼

Exercise 5.2

Exercise 5.2: Coaching Attributes Coaches who are successful display some basic attributes in their relationships with their people. Effective coaches focus on four activities described below. Use this worksheet to evaluate what you are currently doing and any improvements you may want to make. 1. Orientation and Training

I have an orientation plan that I use with new people. I have a training plan to teach new people their jobs. Whether a person is new to the organization or just new to the team, orientation is necessary to give the person the right start. Orientation occurs during the first few days or weeks on the job. Training, on the other hand, is an ongoing activity. Use the space below to list any action(s) you need to take with regard to orientation and training.

2. Development

I have met with each of my people individually to discuss strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities for improvement.

I have written development plans for each of my people that list specific activities and deadlines.

Whether a person is new to the organization or just new to the team, orientation is necessary to give the person the right start. Orientation occurs during the first few days or weeks on the job. Training, on the other hand, is an ongoing activity. Use the space below to list any action(s) you need to take with regard to orientation and training.

(Continued)

∼ 45 ∼

Exercise 5.2 (concluded) 3. Support and Encouragement

I provide regular feedback, positive and corrective, to my people about their performance.

I provide resources, remove barriers, or work directly with my people to help them be successful.

Effective leaders know that when their people are successful, they will be successful. Regular support and encouragement leads to enhanced confidence, new skills, and better overall performance. Use the space below to list any action(s) you need to take to provide support and encouragement to your people.

4. Performance Problems

I accept responsibility for helping my people with performance problems. I use a systematic process to resolve performance problems. Effective coaches help their people understand and overcome problems that get in the way of their best performance. They develop skills in dealing with performance problems. Use the space below to list any action(s) you need to take to improve your ability to handle performance problems.


∼ 46 ∼

6

Picture That

Description This activity works well as either an icebreaker exercise or a discussion starter. This exercise can also be used to determine the skill level of the participants.


express individual coaching skills; identify individual coaching skills needed; and name the other participants and the skill level of each.

Skill Areas • • •

Icebreaker Evaluation Setting expectations


Any Any


Resources Tent cards and broad tip markers for each participant

∼ 47 ∼

Activity 6


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain that in addition to writing their name on the tent card, participants should draw a representative picture of a coaching skill they currently possess (or a coaching skill that they need and want to acquire as a result of this training). Ask that they use the broad tip markers and prepare to interpret their artwork. Step 2: Exchange information. Notes: Ask participants to share introductory information (if you are using this activity as an icebreaker) along with the skill they have depicted on the tent card. If this is the first opportunity to discuss coaching skills, the skills can be compiled on a chart as the target for training. This activity can be used to remind the trainer of the participant expectations. This is also a good indicator of the current skill level so that training can be adapted to meet the needs of the audience. Step 3: Lead a discussion as a review of this activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • What skills are essential to the effective coach? • Which skills named do you need to improve on? • What are your expectations for this training? • How could you use this activity with the people you coach?

∼ 48 ∼

7

How do you rate?

Description This activity can be used at any time during a session or as a course closure to identify your coaching/mentoring strengths and weaknesses.


identify their strengths and weaknesses as a coach; discuss their strengths and weaknesses with other participants; and set goals for improving their weaknesses.


Evaluation Goal setting Networking Course closure


Any Any

Time 30 minutes

Resources • •

Tent cards for names Pen or pencil for each participant

∼ 49 ∼

Activity 7


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Review the objectives. Step 2: Participants identify their greatest strengths and weaknesses. Notes: Have participants write their greatest strength on the outside of their tent cards. Have participants write their greatest weaknesses on the inside of their tent cards. Step 3: Participants find a partner. Notes: Have participants walk around the room until they find a participant(s) who identified as a strength something they consider to be a weakness. Have them write down the name(s) of the person(s) whose strengths correspond with their weaknesses. Step 4: Set up small groups. Notes: Ask each participant to name one or two people who could be his/her partner. Use this time to identify participants who have “matching” strengths and weaknesses. Have participants form small groups in which people who have strengths meet with people who have the “matching” weaknesses. In most cases, you will have three or more people in the group. In rare instances, you might find two people who “match” exactly. Step 5: Begin discussions. Notes: Allow groups 5 to 10 minutes to discuss strengths and weaknesses with each other.

∼ 50 ∼

Activity 7


Step 6: Review the activity. Notes: Ask participants to comment on what they learned in their small group discussions. Have participants set goals to improve their weaknesses based on what they learned during the discussions. Point out the importance of networking with other people. Encourage participants to keep in touch with the people they identified who might be able to provide them with help for their “weaknesses” after the course is over.

∼ 51 ∼

8

Focus on Coaching Skills

Description This activity allows participants to interact with one another and to discuss their strengths, weaknesses, and goals in a nonthreatening manner.


describe their strengths and weaknesses; identify other group members who have similar strengths and weaknesses; discuss coaching skills with other group members; and set goals for improvement.


Building trust Goal setting Networking Role of coach/mentor Setting expectations


Any Any

Time 1 hour

Resources One copy of Exercise 8.1 for each participant

∼ 53 ∼

Activity 8


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Review the objectives. Explain that participants will be working in small groups. Step 2: Divide the group. Notes: Set up small groups of three to seven participants. Step 3: Distribute one copy of Exercise 8.1 to each participant. Notes: Review the exercise and answer any questions participants have. Step 4: Conduct the activity. Notes: Have participants fill in the top row of Exercise 8.1 with information about themselves. Have participants share with other people in their group what they have filled in on their exercise. Participants should fill in their exercises with information from other participants. As they fill in the information, they should discuss each person’s responses. Allow groups 30 minutes to discuss the questions and complete the exercise. Step 5: Review the activity. Notes: Reassemble the group. Discuss the exercise by reviewing the questions. Give participants the opportunity to find others in the larger group who share similar strengths and weaknesses. Discuss how knowledge of these strengths and weaknesses can be used during the training.

∼ 54 ∼

Name

What I get paid for:

The best coach I ever had was… because…

My two best coaching skills are…

Exercise 8.1: Focus on Coaching Skills

Hot buttons that keep me from being a successful coach:

Coaching skills I want to improve:

Exercise 8.1


∼ 55 ∼

9

String Toss

Description This activity can be used to brainstorm coaching skills or as a technique for review.


list coaching skills; and describe team cooperation.


Evaluation Networking Course closure


6 to 10 Any


Resources A ball of yarn or string

∼ 57 ∼

Activity 9


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Ask the participants to stand and form a circle as a group. Explain that they will take turns calling out a coaching skill while holding the end of the string and tossing the ball to someone in the circle. Step 2: Explain the activity. Notes: This activity calls for spontaneous response prompted by catching the ball of string. Before one can toss it to another, he/she must recall or think of an essential coaching skill. Step 3: Conduct the activity. Notes: Give the ball to one of the participants and make sure he/she holds the end of the string while tossing the ball and calling out a skill. Listen for someone to call out “teamwork” or “team leadership” or some skill that indicates the teaming concept. When skills have been exhausted, draw the participants’ attention to the web of string that has formed, connecting each person with the others. Step 4: Lead a discussion. Notes: Questions you might ask: • •

When you observe the web that has resulted, what comes to mind? What happens when one person drops the string that they hold? (Instruct someone to do just that.) Another? And another?

Step 5: Review the activity. Notes: While reviewing or brainstorming coaching skills, the participants have woven a team representation. You can choose to draw that application or not, depending upon how you use this exercise. If this activity has been an evaluation tool, you will be able to determine course content recall by the responses.

∼ 58 ∼

10

Let’s Have a BEER

Description This activity provides a four-step model for criticizing and correcting behavior and performance problems as well as an exercise to practice using the model.


describe the four-step model; correct behavior in a nonthreatening manner, using the four-step process; and enhance the four-step process with additional coaching activities.


Analyzing performance problems Assertiveness Evaluation Setting expectations


Any Any


Resources • •

Flipchart stand, paper, and markers Exercise 10.1 (optional)

∼ 59 ∼

Activity 10


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Ask for two volunteers for a role play. Describe the “situation” by addressing the volunteer you select to play the role of a supervisor (be sure this person can role play in front of a group): You supervise a work team here at (organization). One of your best workers is “X” (the other volunteer). “X” is always on time, doesn’t complain, and does acceptable work. This morning, though, one of the other members of your team took you aside and voiced a complaint—“X” has a bad habit of picking his/her nose, often in front of customers. It’s gotten to the point that you need to confront “X” about this problem. Direct the volunteer “supervisor” to face “X” and confront him/her. Allow 2 to 3 minutes, then thank both volunteers, asking the group to show special appreciation for the effort given by the “supervisor.” Step 2: Discuss the role play. Notes: Ask the participants to list all the effective things that the supervisor did. The list will probably include: • • • •

Used polite tone Expressed appreciation for “X’s” past work Got to the point Made clear what needs to be done

Step 3: Describe the model. Notes: Explain that you will now present a model for confronting an employee whose behavior or performance is unsatisfactory. Write on the flipchart: B E E R

∼ 60 ∼

Activity 10


Explain the acronym: B

Behavior—What the employee is doing or not doing that is unacceptable

E

Effect—Why the behavior is unacceptable, how it hurts productivity, bothers others, etc.

E

Expectation—What you expect the employee to do or not do to change

R

Result—What will happen if the employee changes (positive tone) or the consequences of this behavior continuing (negative tone)

Step 4: Practice the model. Notes: Instruct the class to recall a current or recent example of unacceptable behavior or performance. Have participants pair up. Have each pair practice the BEER model by confronting each other using their own examples. Each “supervisor” will need two to four minutes. Option: You may choose to use Exercise 10.1 for practice. Step 5: Summarize the activity. Notes: Refer once more to the BEER model. You may also have class members volunteer additional elements that can be added to the model to make it more supportive (such as asking the subordinate for his/her ideas to correct the problem).

∼ 61 ∼

Exercise 10.1

Exercise 10.1: Let’s Have a BEER 1. Susan has a bad habit of speaking sharply to coworkers. She sometimes even calls them stupid if they ask her a question. You’ve just overheard her berating a new employee. 2. Whenever Jack makes a mistake, has a problem, or drops something, he swears loudly. His voice carries, and other employees have occasionally complained about his bad language. You just heard the sound of a file hitting the floor, and, sure enough, Jack started cussing. 3. Bobbie can’t seem to remember to clean up after herself. After lunch, food wrappers litter her area. At the end of the day, it’s not uncommon for the mess to remain on the floor. It’s almost 5:00 now, and she’s once again showing no signs of cleaning up. 4. Ray and Marsha are obviously attracted to each other, enough so that they frequently spend time together that should be spent working. In fact, they are together right now. 5. Tom is a good worker, but he has one nagging problem: he can’t seem to get back to work on time after lunch. In fact, he just strolled back in, 15 minutes overdue.


∼ 63 ∼

11

Wanna BET?

Description This activity provides a three-step process for praising employees, as well as an opportunity to practice the model.


describe the three-step model; and praise another person using the three-step process.


Recognition and reward Nurturing Evaluation


Any Any


Resources Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

∼ 65 ∼

Activity 11


Method Step 1: Describe the model. Notes: A useful opening is to ask the class, “How many of you have been praised too much lately?” Explain that you will present a model for praising good performance. Write on the flipchart: B E T Explain the acronym: B

Behavior—What the employee is doing that is valuable

E

Effect—Why the performance is important; how it contributes

T

Thank you—A tangible expression

Step 2: Practice the model. Notes: Instruct the class to recall a recent example of good performance. Have participants pair up. Have each pair practice the BET model by praising each other using their own examples. Each “supervisor” will need one to three minutes. Note: This exercise is also effective when paired with Activity 10: Let’s Have a BEER.

∼ 66 ∼

12

Making a Sandwich

Description This activity provides participants with a simple training model and employs a humorous approach to avoiding assumptions.


describe an assignment or task using the Step/Key Idea outline; and explain the danger of making assumptions regarding others’ knowledge.

Skill Areas • •

Delegating assignments Training


10 to 50 Any


Resources • •

One copy of Exercise 12.1 for each participant Sandwich-making supplies: bread, peanut butter, jelly, knives, paper plates, towels, apron, spoons, etc.

∼ 67 ∼

Activity 12


Method Step 1: Distribute Exercise 12.1. Notes: Introduce the purpose of this exercise: to describe an assignment or a task in a step-by-step sequence. Explain the Steps and Key Ideas of the exercise. Steps of a task are just that—the actions necessary to complete a task. Key Ideas include the “why” of a step (important for adults!), safety tips, shortcuts, optional steps—any information that helps the learner. Step 2: Provide an example. Notes: Illustrate the use of the Step/Key Ideas outline with an example (such as starting a car, shaving, frying an egg, etc.). Have participants list steps and offer their ideas for the Key Ideas column. Spend only two or three minutes doing this. Step 3: Lead participants in the exercise. Notes: Instruct participants to explain the making of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich using the outline. Allow about seven to eight minutes. As participants are writing, circulate through the room, selecting one or two of the participants’ work to demonstrate. (Be sure to select examples that will illustrate the need to be clear, avoid assumptions, keep steps in sequence, and so forth.) As participants continue to write, display the sandwich-making supplies. Secure the example(s) you will use and begin making the sandwich according to the instructions the participant wrote. Follow the steps literally, and make the sandwich as though you’ve never seen one in your life (put the peanut butter and jelly on opposite sides of the bread, spread jelly on the crust edge, grab the jellied bread with your hand, use the wrong end of the knife, etc.). When you’ve completed the “sandwich,” serve it to the participant. Step 4: Review the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • •

What does this demonstration show us about assumptions? Has anyone ever been surprised by someone not understanding you?

∼ 68 ∼

Exercise 12.1

Exercise 12.1: Step-by-Step Objective or Task:

Steps

Key Ideas


∼ 69 ∼

13

Chair Walking

Description This activity demonstrates the necessity of trust in the coach/employee relationship. The trainer can also use this exercise to illustrate the advantage of networking.


describe the feeling of trust; and translate the need for trust to the coach/employee relationship.


Building trust Networking Nonverbal communication


Five to six per team Any


Resources • •

Five to six sturdy, straight back chairs One blindfold per team (optional)

∼ 71 ∼

Activity 13


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain that this activity illustrates the need to have a trusting relationship in the workplace. Through this activity, you can demonstrate the need for trust in the coach/ employee relationship, the advantage of networking, and the impact of nonverbal communication. Step 2: Explain the activity. Notes: After dividing the larger group into small teams of five to six, ask each team to position straight back chairs in a line so that the sides are touching (as closely as possible) and all chair fronts are facing in the same direction. (Chairs with rollers on the legs will not work. The best choice of chairs are those with flat bottoms—padded or not—with straight, sturdy legs and straight backs.) Each person on the team will walk, eyes closed or blindfolded, on top of the chair seats with the guidance of team members. Team members will want to stand alongside the chairs to give physical aid and reassurance to the “trusting” (blindfolded) walker. Explain that this is not a competition; it is an opportunity to experience vulnerability and trust. Give each team time enough to complete the exercise, with each person on the team taking a turn at walking the length of the chairs. If someone has vertigo, allow the person to walk without the blindfold and with eyes open. Step 3: Observe the teams and the hesitancy or confidence exhibited. Notes: Attempt to determine why one team appeared to accomplish the task with greater ease and confidence than another. Step 4: Lead a discussion. Notes: Questions you might ask: • •

How did you feel as you walked blindfolded or with your eyes closed? Would you have felt more or less confident without the help of your team members?

∼ 72 ∼

Activity 13


•

• •

Have you ever lacked confidence with a task in the workplace and depended on the support of a coach, mentor, or coworker for guidance and direction? Have you ever worked in a situation where there was no trust? How did that affect productivity or quality?

Step 5: Review the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • •

Why did we do this exercise? What did we learn? How does this illustrate coaching responsibility?

Step 6: Summarize the activity. Notes: Ask the participants to list the following: 1. Reasons trust is essential to coach/employee relationships. 2. Results of a trusting relationship in the workplace.

∼ 73 ∼

14

Positive Feedback

Description This activity is useful as a summary for all or a portion of a session dealing with interpersonal skills such as counseling or listening. It also serves as a trust builder for participants.


provide specific, positive feedback to fellow participants; and increase their comfort in giving positive feedback to another.


Communication Counseling Evaluation Listening Nurturing Course closure


Any Any


Resources None

∼ 75 ∼

Activity 14


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Have participants pair up. Each participant is to take two to three minutes to write down one or two skills or characteristics his or her partner has shown during the session that is a strength in coaching. Step 2: Conduct the activity. Notes: Allow four to five minutes for partners to exchange their comments. Step 3: Review the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • •

Were you comfortable giving feedback? Why or why not? What made giving feedback easier? How did it feel to receive feedback? What topics of our program were mentioned?

15

Goal Ladder

Description This activity gives each participant an opportunity to set goals. It can be used to demonstrate the need for goals and expectations in the workplace, although the exercise will concentrate on the entirety of the individual’s life. The coach can use this exercise to better understand what will motivate the employee as he or she trains in a new skill.


define goals for seven separate areas of life; create a set of goals for work based on the same method; and focus effort on areas for specific professional development.


Goal setting Setting expectations Training


Any Any


Resources • •

One copy of Exercise 15.1 for each participant Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

∼ 77 ∼

Activity 15


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain that this activity is an opportunity to think about goals—both longand short-term—for several separate areas of each participant’s life. The exercise will illustrate a technique that can be used repeatedly to update and track both personal and professional goals. The process is easily adapted to the workplace for setting and tracking quarterly, semi-annual, and annual goals. It is also a method that has been used effectively for long-range planning. Step 2: Explain the activity. Notes: Distribute Exercise 15.1 to each participant. After defining each area, assure the participants that • • •

there will be sufficient time allowed to complete the exercise; they will not be required to share the goals with anyone; and even though some areas are foreign (in that they have never given thought or planning to that aspect of their life), they should attempt to set a goal for each division. Encourage them to dream, to envision, and to have fun with this exercise.

Step 3: Define the Goal Areas. Notes: Area 1—Vocation Explain that this area focuses on job, current profession, desired profession— what you do or plan to do to earn a living. Area 2—Avocation This is the recreational or leisure part of life. What do you do for fun? This would include hobbies, sports, clubs, civic involvement, friends, or entertainment. Area 3—Family Explain that these are plans regarding marriage, having children, buying homes, taking vacations, educating someone, retiring, buying a car, planning a family reunion, etc. Area 4—Financial Explain that any plans involving money, loans, or credit belong here: establishing savings or retirement, paying off loans or credit cards, establishing credit, purchasing insurance, paying for college, etc.

∼ 78 ∼

Activity 15


Area 5—Physical Ask about plans to improve or change physical condition: starting exercise or diet program; giving up a habit; establishing a nutritional eating plan; training for developing physical endurance (a road race, tournament, league play, etc.). Goals that involve the body belong here. Area 6—Mental Ask about plans to “exercise” the mind. Explain that you want goals that will stretch the mental capacity—reading, learning a new language, taking a class, earning a degree, visiting local cultural spots, learning more about anything that will improve a person mentally. Area 7—Spiritual Explain that humans are spiritual and ask each to consider what it is that gives their life purpose and what offers meaning to their existence. What goals could they establish for themselves that would bring them to a level of greater development. Step 4: Define the rungs of the Goal Ladder. Notes: Explain the rungs on the ladder as follows: Long term. Depending on the goal area, long-term goals will vary from 6 months to 10 years. Completion of a degree program may require a long-term goal of 6 years. Losing 20 pounds may only need 6 months. Both of these are long-term goals and require the support of the following goal increments. Intermediate. This could possibly be a place described as “half-way there.” For the 8-year goal, this would be 4 years from now; for the 20 pounds, this would be 3 months. What we are attempting to do is establish a tracking system so that our goals can be attainable and measurable. Short term. This would be the goal that falls somewhere between tomorrow and the intermediate point. For the degree program, this would be a 2-year goal; for the weight loss, this would be a goal that comes at the 6-week point. Remind participants to keep their goals realistic. Plan for success, not failure. Next month. This would be a measurable point between now and the short term. Next week. This is self-explanatory: a tracking point for the very near future. Tomorrow. Ask participants to plan the first thing they must do to start on the road toward accomplishment. This is material for tomorrow’s “to do list.”

∼ 79 ∼

Activity 15


Step 5: Conduct the activity. Notes: Allow participants at least 30 minutes to work through the exercise. In the interest of time, you might suggest that they first complete each area through the short term. Then for the three goals that seem most urgent to the individual, they should plan activity completely through the tomorrow rung. Experts tell us that we can only give concentrated effort to three of the areas at a time; all the others seem to suffer or take a back seat until those areas demand priority. Step 6: Lead a discussion about the activity. Notes: Ask someone to share the goal ladder in his/her chosen area. This is strictly voluntary, but many times people are anxious to disclose what they learned about themselves, especially the way in which several areas are connected. For example, the person who is planning to retire and travel in 5 years finds that the goals of vocation, family, financial, and avocation are tied together, and it is impossible to work on one without impacting the others. Questions you might ask: • • •

How did this exercise feel? Was anyone uncomfortable? Why?

Many people feel discomfort because they are not accustomed to planning. These are the people who live in a reactive kind of existence and the proactive exercise of goal setting is strange and somehow threatening to them. Additional questions you might ask: • • • • •

What have you learned about yourself? How might you use this in the workplace? How would this facilitate your workplace production? In what ways would this discipline help you manage your time and projects at work? In what ways could this activity enhance communication at work? At home?

Step 7: Review the activity. Notes: Ask the participants: •

In what ways could you use this technique on the job to enhance production and quality of production?

∼ 80 ∼

Activity 15


Breaking into small groups and assigning a participant to record observations will often create a need to work more diligently on this part of the task. It is important that participants see the application of this tool to the professional part of their life. Step 8: Summarize the activity. Notes: List the application ideas on a flipchart or a whiteboard as they are contributed.

∼ 81 ∼

∼ 83 ∼ Next Week

Tomorrow

Next Week

Tomorrow

Short Term

Short Term

Next Month

Intermediate

Intermediate

Next Month

Long Term

Avocation

Long Term

Vocation

Tomorrow

Next Week

Next Month

Short Term

Intermediate

Long Term

Family

Tomorrow

Next Week

Next Month

Short Term

Intermediate

Long Term

Financial

Exercise 15.1: Goal Ladder Worksheet

Tomorrow

Next Week

Next Month

Short Term

Intermediate

Long Term

Physical

Tomorrow

Next Week

Next Month

Short Term

Intermediate

Long Term

Mental

Tomorrow

Next Week

Next Month

Short Term

Intermediate

Long Term

Spiritual

Exercise 15.1


16

Construction

Description This activity illustrates the contribution of communication to productivity. This exercise can also be used to demonstrate the benefit of collaboration for team building.


define the importance of communication for performance; and describe the advantages of collaboration for team production.


Analyzing performance problems Collaboration Communication Role of coach/mentor


Five to six per group Any



A basic set of Tinkertoys (sticks and wheels) or building block set for each group of five to six participants A picture of an object for each group to build A timer Prizes (optional)

∼ 85 ∼

Activity 16


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: This activity is more effective if the purpose is not disclosed at the outset. Simply inform the participants that they will divide into teams of five to six members and be given a construction project to complete within the sevenminute time limit. First, they are to select a team coach. Step 2: Brief the coaches and distribute materials. Notes: Take the coaches out of the room. Give each coach a black-and-white picture of an object that can be built from this particular set of building blocks or Tinkertoys. Instruct them to lead their team in completing the task⎯building the object to the specification shown in the picture in the seven-minute time limit. They may share the name of the object only. They can give verbal instructions to the team, but they are not allowed to touch the building pieces or show the picture to the team. Step 3: Brief the teams. Notes: Explain that their task is to construct the project, according to specification, in the seven-minute time limit. (You may want to inject the competitive component at this point. Teams enjoy the pressure of working to “beat an opponent.” You may also choose to award prizes to the winners. This is completely optional. Either way, the purpose is not affected.) Step 4: Conduct the activity. Notes: Set the timer and have teams begin the construction. When time has elapsed, call “Time” to halt the construction. Check to see which team is the closest to completion and has built the project nearest to the specifications detailed in the picture. Award prizes, if appropriate. Step 5: Lead a discussion about the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • •

Team: How did you feel during construction? Was there any frustration? Coach: What would have made your leadership tasks easier?

∼ 86 ∼

Activity 16


• •

•

What one thing handicapped production more than any other? What were the advantages of constructing this project with a team? (Each person could/did take responsibility for a different portion of the building.) With the handicapped conditions under which you worked, could an individual—the coach, for example—have constructed the project quicker and better alone?

Step 6: Apply the activity to the workplace. Notes: Explain that for a team to produce to specified standards and with high morale, communication must be open and complete. This exercise illustrated that with communication limited (full information was known only to the coach), the team felt frustration when trying to achieve a quality performance within time constraints. Note:

Variation

Notes: At this point, you might consider constructing the project again under slightly different circumstances: 1. Dismantle the project and let the teams rebuild with the picture in full sight of everyone. Establish a competition among the teams. The first team to finish wins. 2. Give out new project plans (a different picture) and let the teams build using the picture as a guide and in competition with one another. 3. Change coaches and let the team use the picture and complete the first project as soon as possible. 4. Dismantle the project and give instructions that the construction goal will be to build the tallest, free-standing object in four minutes. Step 7: Review the activity. Notes: Ask some or all of these questions: • • • •

Why did we do this exercise? What did we learn about teams? What is the advantage of working with teams? What one component is absolutely essential for team production and morale? (Communication)

∼ 87 ∼

17

Origami

Description This activity is a variation of the previous Construction exercise but is better suited to larger groups (for which the cost of Tinkertoys or building block sets would be prohibitive). Use this activity to demonstrate the importance of communication to production and collaboration.


define the importance of communication for performance; and describe the advantage of collaboration for team production.


Analyzing performance problems Collaboration Role of coach/mentor




Resources • •

A 6 x 6 square piece of lightweight paper for each participant A simple origami (paper-folding) project picture with instructions for each coach (Origami kits can be purchased in toyshops or bookstores and come complete with diagrams and instructions.)

∼ 89 ∼

Activity 17


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: This activity is more effective if the purpose is not disclosed at the outset. Simply inform the participants that they will divide into teams of five to six members and be given a construction project to complete within the sevenminute time limit. First, they are to select a team coach. Step 2: Brief the coaches and distribute materials. Notes: Take the coaches out of the room, and give each of them a piece of folding paper and the picture of the object (which is the instruction information) that their team is to fold. Give them time to fold the object once or twice. Most people are not generally familiar with the art of paper folding, and this practice time gives them a chance to figure out how they will verbally communicate the instructions to the team. Instruct them to lead their team in completing the task⎯folding the object to the specification shown in the picture in the seven-minute time limit. They may share the name of the object only. They can give verbal instructions to the team, but they are not allowed to touch anyone’s paper, show the team the picture, or demonstrate the folding. Step 3: Brief the teams. Notes: Explain that their task is to construct the project, according to specification, in the seven-minute time limit. (You may want to inject the competitive component at this point. Teams enjoy the pressure of working to “beat an opponent.” You may also choose to aware prizes to the winners. This is completely optional. Either way, the purpose is not affected.) Step 4: Conduct the activity. Notes: Set the timer and have teams begin the construction. When time has elapsed, call “Time” to halt the construction. Check to see which team is the closest to completion and has folded their papers correctly. Award prizes, if appropriate.

∼ 90 ∼

Activity 17


Step 5: Lead a discussion about the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • • •

Team: How did you feel during construction? Was there frustration? If so, why? Coach: What would have made your leadership tasks easier? What one thing handicapped production more than any other? What were the advantages of constructing this project with the other members of the team around you? Would this task have been more difficult if you had been required to construct it on your own?

Step 6: Apply the activity to the workplace. Notes: Explain that for a team to produce to specified standards and with high morale, communication must be open and complete. This exercise illustrated that with communication limited (full information was known only by the coach), the team felt frustration when trying to achieve a quality performance within time constraints. Step 7: Review the activity. Notes: Ask some or all of these questions: • • • •


∼ 91 ∼

18

Card Houses

Description This activity illustrates the morale and general effectiveness of a team when managed with a directive style in comparison to a team-building attitude displayed by a coach.


define the importance of communication for performance; and describe the advantages of collaboration for team production.


Analyzing performance problems Collaboration Role of coach/mentor





A package of 3 x 5 index cards for each group Paper clips and masking or cellulose tape Instructions for coaches

∼ 93 ∼

Activity 18


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: This activity is more effective if the purpose is not disclosed at the outset. Simply inform the participants that they will divide into teams of five to six members and be given a construction project to complete within a fiveminute time limit. First, they are to select a team coach. Step 2: Brief the coaches and distribute materials. Notes: Take the coaches out of the room. Give them a package of 3 x 5 index cards, a box of paper clips, and a 12-inch piece of tape. Instruct that they are to lead their team to the successful production of a card house in the time limit allowed. The house is to be constructed from their own imagination. They should be given a few minutes to make sketches so that you can evaluate the finished product against the design sketch. Tell them they will give verbal instructions only; they will not be allowed to touch the building materials or show the sketch to the team. Step 3: Brief the teams. Notes: Explain that their task is to construct the project, according to specification, in the five-minute time limit. (You may want to inject the competitive component at this point. Teams enjoy the pressure of working to “beat an opponent.” You may also choose to award prizes to the winners. This is completely optional. Either way, the purpose is not affected.) Step 4: Conduct the activity. Notes: Set the timer and have teams begin the construction. When time has elapsed, call “Time” to halt the construction. Check to see which team is the closest to completion and has built the project nearest to the specifications detailed in the picture. Award prizes, if appropriate.

∼ 94 ∼

Activity 18


Step 5: Lead a discussion about the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • •

•

Team: How did you feel during construction? Was there any frustration? Coach: What would have made your leadership tasks easier? What one thing handicapped production more than any other? What were the advantages of constructing this project with a team? (Each person could/did take responsibility for a different portion of the building.) With the handicapped conditions under which you worked, could an individual—the coach, for example—have constructed the project quicker and better alone?

Step 6: Apply the activity to the workplace. Notes: Explain that for a team to produce to specified standards and with high morale, communication must be open and complete. This exercise illustrated that with communication limited (full information was known only by the coach), the team felt frustration when trying to achieve a quality performance within time constraints. Note:

Variation

Notes: At this point, you might consider constructing the project again under slightly different circumstances. For example: 1. The first construction exercise was conducted under a highly directive coaching style. This time use the team approach to leadership and allow the team to design and construct their own creation. Lead a discussion about the differences in attitude when everyone had a part in planning the actual construction and reward of fulfillment. 2. In contrast to the original directive coaching style, give the coaches instructions to adopt a completely laissez-faire attitude. Using the handsoff approach, the coach gives the team only a general description of the house (for example, a two-story colonial, a rambling bungalow with twocar garage). From that point, the team will operate on its own. This variation is more effective when used with an observer who records the group dynamics and reports those during the discussion.

∼ 95 ∼

Activity 18


Step 7: Review the activity. Notes: Ask some or all of these questions: • • • •


∼ 96 ∼

19

Idea Exchange

Description This activity provides participants a way to initially explore a topic by listing their own successful experiences with it.


list 5 to 10 successful strategies for goal setting; and describe personal goal-setting strategies.


Icebreaker Goal setting Training Delegating Course closure

(Note: This activity is also appropriate for other topics, such as counseling, communicating, etc.)


12 to 30 Any


Resources • •

3 x 5 index cards Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

∼ 97 ∼

Activity 19


Method Step 1: Begin the activity. Notes: Distribute index cards, one per participant. Instruct participants to write down their most successful strategy for goal setting. Collect the cards and shuffle them (or mix them in a hat). Redistribute them to the group, one per participant. Step 2: Facilitate group reports. Notes: Divide the class into groups of five to seven. Instruct the groups to select the two best strategies they have. Allow five minutes. Have each group volunteer one idea at a time as you list them on the flipchart.

∼ 98 ∼

20

Reel Movies

Description This activity uses clips of real Hollywood movies on DVD (as opposed to training DVDs) to illustrate effective and ineffective coaching techniques. This is an enjoyable and effective exercise that energizes participants.*


recognize some effective coaching behavior; contrast effective behavior with ineffective behavior; and forecast the production for various coaching behaviors.

Skill Areas • •

Role of coach/mentor Training


Any Any

Time 10 to 15 minutes per clip

Resources • •

DVD player and monitor A movie DVD with appropriate credit and acknowledgment cued to the clip

*Adapted from an idea originally used by Sylvia Roba, St. Luke’s Hospital, Davenport, Iowa.

∼ 99 ∼

Activity 20


Method Step 1: Prepare the activity. Notes: To conduct this activity, you must select a portion of a movie that depicts the skill, or lack of skill, that you are attempting to illustrate to the coaches. For example, there are several examples of ineffective leadership in the movies Joe Versus the Volcano and Shock to the System. It is helpful if you are familiar with the movies and if you watch them for illustrations of the skills that you want to teach. It is in violation of copyright laws to copy any portion of a movie, so it is necessary to acknowledge and credit the movie DVD and cue it (run it to the place of the clip) prior to use in training. If you are in question about copyright restrictions, the American Society of Training and Development supplies a Copyright Information Kit by request. There may be a fee. This is a highly effective training technique when used properly. Anyone who goes to the movies or rents DVDs has made coaching application for themselves when watching various scenes. When you use this glitzy illustration technique, it can have high impact. Step 2: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain that you will show a clip from a real movie that illustrates an aspect of a coaching behavior. You may choose a clip that displays an effective behavior or an example of ineffective skill. “Set up” the clip by explaining something about the story line, the characters, and what is happening. Explain only those elements that participants can actually apply to the training. Step 3: Show the clip. Notes: Make sure the monitor is large enough for everyone to see. Adjust the volume so that everyone can hear. If the group is large, you will need a larger screen or multiple monitors with a single hook-up.

∼ 100 ∼

Activity 20


Step 4: Lead a discussion about the clip and the skill that was illustrated. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • • •

How does this clip support or refute the principles or techniques we have been exploring? Have you ever experienced someone who operated in this fashion? What was your response to that person’s method? What was the general morale? What do you believe to be the morale or attitude of those in this movie?


Why did we view this movie clip? What application can we make from the contrast (or similarity)? What have we learned with this illustration?

Author’s note: I have used this technique for years, and it has always been met with resounding positive response. It does take some effort and there is a cost investment, but it is another highly effective way to present the material. I find that participants remember the concept better as a result of this tool.

∼ 101 ∼

21

Coaches Bowl

Description This activity provides a fun and interesting way to review course material. This activity can also be used to review individual sessions within a longer course.


evaluate their knowledge of key learning points; and evaluate the knowledge of other participants.

Skill Areas • •

Role of coach/mentor Course closure


Any Any

Time 1 hour

Resources • • • • •

20 3 x 5 index cards Pen or pencil for each participant Flipchart stand, paper, and markers Noise makers (optional) Prizes (optional)

∼ 103 ∼

Activity 21


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain what material will be covered during the activity. Explain how the game will be played (refer to Step 4). Step 2: Prepare materials. Notes: Divide the group into two teams. Give each team 10 index cards. Allow 15 minutes for each team to write 10 questions and answers based on the material to be covered. The question should be written on one side of the card and the answer on the other. While teams are writing their questions, prepare a flipchart to use for keeping score. Divide the chart into two columns and write the team names at the top of each column. Step 3: Set up the game area. Notes: Select one to four participants from each team to represent their respective teams. Seat the players at separate tables facing you. You will act as the moderator for the game. Determine how players will signal when they want to answer a question. (This is where noise makers can be used, or you could have one team shout “Green” and the other team shout “Red.”) Step 4: Conduct the activity. Notes: Randomly select 15 of the cards for the game. Keep 5 in reserve as substitutes in case some questions don’t work as planned. Note: Use an uneven number of cards to prevent ties. It’s okay if teams get the questions they wrote since the objective is to review material, not just to “win” the game. Shuffle the 15 cards and draw them one at a time. Read the questions. Players signal when they want to try to answer a question. If no one responds within 15 seconds, read the answer and discuss it. Then go on to the next question.

∼ 104 ∼

Activity 21


If the question is answered correctly, award 10 points. If the question is answered incorrectly, do not deduct points. Give the other team a chance to answer the question. Option: You may want to deduct 5 points if teams signal to answer before you finish reading the question and they answer it incorrectly. Option: Players on the other team can challenge the “correct” answer. If their challenge is a better answer, award them 10 points instead of the team that originally answered the question. You will be the judge in these situations. Record scores on the flipchart. The game is over after 15 questions have been asked. Option: Award prizes. Step 5: Review the activity. Notes: Summarize objectives and how they were met. Reinforce the importance of participants’ applying the knowledge on the job to be effective coaches for their people.

∼ 105 ∼

22

How am I doing?

Description This activity provides participants with the opportunity to evaluate the quantity and quality of feedback they provide as coaches. They will also be able to survey their employees to determine their perceptions about the quantity and quality of the feedback they receive.


evaluate the feedback they provide others; describe the importance of providing regular feedback; and use a feedback tool to survey their employees.


Counseling Listening Recognition and reward Setting expectations


Any Any


Resources • •

One copy each of Exercises 22.1 through 22.3 for each participant Paper and pencil or pen for each participant

∼ 107 ∼

Activity 22


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity and prepare the participants for the questionnaire. Notes: Explain that effective coaches provide regular performance feedback to the people with whom they work. The feedback may be either positive or corrective. Most people want and need regular feedback about their performance. In fact, it has been estimated that 80 percent of the performance problems that occur on the job could be solved if supervisors gave better feedback more often. Author Ken Blanchard says, “Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” Ask participants: “What do you think he means by that?” Ask participants to think about the best coaches they have had. Ask: “Did they provide a lot of feedback? What kind of feedback?” Most supervisors think they do a good job of providing feedback to their employees. Step 2: Distribute Exercise 22.1. Notes: Read instructions together and have participants complete the exercise. Step 3: Discuss the activity. Notes: Ask participants about their scores. Questions you might ask: • • • •

What were your highest/lowest scores? Why are these the highest/lowest? What benefit would there be to your employees if you raised your lower scores? How do you think your employees would respond to similar questions about your feedback style?

Explain that when employees are asked about their supervisor’s feedback, many employees don’t have the same perceptions as their supervisors about the quantity and quality of feedback they receive. It has been estimated that people do things right 80 percent of the time. Yet they rarely get 80/20 feedback (80 percent positive/20 percent corrective).

∼ 108 ∼

Activity 22


One employee survey found that poor use of corrective feedback was listed among the top five causes of conflict at work. Poorly handled criticism was noted as a significant source of friction. These people said they would be less likely to cooperate or collaborate with their critics in the future. Step 4: Discuss giving positive feedback. Notes: Key points you should make: •

Positive feedback (recognition) strengthens performance. Some supervisors think that as long as they don’t tell someone there is a problem, the person will assume everything is okay.

•

These supervisors don’t realize that most people are motivated by the desire to succeed and achieve results—as long as someone recognizes their efforts. People will work hard and long and go to extraordinary lengths if they know what they do is appreciated and recognized.

Step 5: Discuss giving corrective feedback. Notes: Key points you should make: •

As a coach, your time and effort should be focused on being positive. Despite your best efforts, there will be times when your people don’t meet performance standards.

•

The goal for giving corrective feedback is to eliminate the behavior that caused the problem.

•

After giving corrective feedback, it’s important that you follow up. When the performance improves or meets established standards, provide positive feedback. If performance is still unacceptable, repeat the corrective feedback.

Step 6: Distribute Exercise 22.2 and explain its use. Notes: Explain how this tool gives supervisors a chance to see if their perceptions match their employees’ perceptions. Explain that the survey should be anonymous in order to obtain honest feedback. Recommend that supervisors distribute the surveys to employees at a group meeting and explain the reason for doing the survey. Recommend that employees mail the surveys back to the supervisors.

∼ 109 ∼

Activity 22


Step 7: Distribute Exercise 22.3 and explain its use. Notes: Explain how to use this sheet to compare their perceptions with those of their employees. Explain the importance of looking for trends in responses. Participants should be cautioned against trying to determine who completed the individual surveys. Encourage participants to have a group follow-up meeting with their employees and discuss what they learned from the employees’ surveys and what, if anything, they plan to do differently. Step 8: Review the activity. Notes: Conclude by answering questions and briefly reviewing the importance of providing feedback. If you will be meeting with participants again in a few days or weeks, you might assign them to tally their employee surveys and bring the results to class for discussion.

∼ 110 ∼

Exercise 22.1

Exercise 22.1: Rate Your Use of Feedback Read each statement below and circle the number that you think best describes the feedback you give to your employees. I think that I. . . Rarely

Sometimes

Often

1. Provide positive feedback.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

2. Provide specific feedback.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

3. Provide sincere feedback.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

4. Give corrective feedback.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

5. Criticize behavior, not the person.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

6. Provide help to improve.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

7. Try to find the good in things rather than the bad.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8. Focus on what’s right.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

9. Listen to employees.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

10. Use graphs, charts, etc., to provide feedback.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

11. Offer support to employees.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

12. Pass on positive feedback received from others.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

13. Praise more than criticize.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

Total Score:


∼ 111 ∼

Exercise 22.2

Exercise 22.2: Rate Your Boss’s Use of Feedback Read each statement below and circle the number that you think best describes the feedback your boss gives to you. I think that my boss. . . Rarely

Sometimes

Often

1. Provides positive feedback.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

2. Provides specific feedback.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

3. Provides sincere feedback.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

4. Gives corrective feedback.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

5. Criticizes behavior, not the person.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

6. Provides help to improve.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

7. Tries to find the good in things rather than the bad.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8. Focuses on what’s right.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

9. Listens to employees.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

10. Uses graphs, charts, etc., to provide feedback.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

11. Offers support to employees.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

12. Passes on positive feedback received from others.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

13. Praises more than criticizes.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

Total Score:


∼ 113 ∼

Exercise 22.3

Exercise 22.3: Feedback Perception Comparison For each statement below, indicate the score (1, 3, etc.) that you gave yourself for each item. Use the spaces to the right to indicate your employees’ scores for the same items. Use additional sheets if needed. Then determine the average score of the employee responses (columns E1, E2, etc.) for each item and compare it with your average score. Differences of 2.5 or more can indicate areas where improvement may be needed. Mine

E1

E2

E3

E4

E5

1. Provides positive feedback 2. Provides specific feedback 3. Provides sincere feedback 4. Gives corrective feedback 5. Criticizes behavior, not the person 6. Provides help to improve 7. Tries to find the good in things rather than the bad 8. Focuses on what’s right 9. Listens to employees 10. Uses graphs, charts, etc., to provide feedback 11. Offers support to employees 12. Passes on positive feedback received from others 13. Praises more than criticizes


∼ 115 ∼

Avg.

23

Trivia Quiz

Description This activity is a tool for summarizing the important points covered in a coaching program.

Objective By the end of this activity, participants will be able to list and discuss key learning points covered in a program.

Skill Areas • •



12 to 30 Any


Resources 10 to 20 bells, buzzers, other signaling devices

∼ 117 ∼

Activity 23


Method Step 1: Prepare the activity. Notes: Before class begins, prepare a list of quiz questions that include both program topics and trivia. These questions will serve as a review of a half-day or oneday body of information. A typical list for part of a unit on communication skills might include: •

Who was Fred Astaire’s dancing sister? (Adele Astaire)

•

What do you call a question that forces someone to answer in a predetermined manner? (a leading question)

•

What president caught pneumonia at his inauguration and served only one month? (William Henry Harrison)

•

What is the listening technique that has listeners repeat in their own words what they heard another person say? (paraphrasing)

•

Name three of the states that border on Missouri. (Kansas, Arkansas, Illinois, Ohio)

•

Name two positive and two negative listening behaviors. (Positive: reflective listening, open posture, eye contact, etc. Negative: interrupting, loaded questions, sarcasm, etc.)

•

There is only one state that starts with the letter P. What is it? (Pennsylvania)

•

Which is a stronger communication channel, verbal or nonverbal? (nonverbal)

Step 2: Conduct the activity. Notes: Divide the class into teams of four to seven participants. (You may also wish to assign a panel of “judges.”) Ask the trivia questions. The first team to ring the buzzer or bell may answer. If they are right, they score one point. (You may assign a higher point value for tougher questions.) If they are wrong, the next team to ring the buzzer may answer. The team with the most points “wins.”

∼ 118 ∼

24

Dueling Families

Description This activity works well to evaluate learning and/or to illustrate the effectiveness of appropriate coaching skills.


recite learning to this point; interpret the nonverbal communication of coach and team members; and collaborate to effectively produce team effort.


Assertiveness Evaluation Course closure


Two teams of four to six each Any

Time 1 hour

Resources • • • • • •

One copy of Exercise 24.1 for each of the team coaches Prepared questions for material covered to this point in training Instructions for the teams and the coaches A timer A scoreboard (flipchart or whiteboard) and markers Prizes (optional)

∼ 119 ∼

Activity 24


Method Pre-course work. Notes: In advance, you will need to prepare questions that have multi-part answers. Take these questions and answers from the material that has been covered in the training to this point. Print out the answers to each question separately on paper or poster board. It will be necessary to display the answers as they are called out correctly by the team members so provision should be made for adequate display. Probably the best method of display is either a flannel board (which you can make or purchase) or stick-on Velcro™ mounted to a large board with corresponding Velcro™ on the back of each answer. In some situations, there is enough tray space below chalkboards or whiteboards to hold the answers. You will need to prepare either four, six, or eight questions with multi-part answers. An example of such a question would be: Q: What are six characteristics of an effective team member? A: Honest, open, unafraid of conflict, self-confident, good listener, flexible, tolerant, etc. Even numbers of questions ensure that both teams have equal opportunity to play and to score even though the rules or play will allow each team to play or pass when they receive that option. Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain that the group will divide into two teams of four to six participants per team. Each team will need to pick a coach. Explain that the teams will compete against one another in a friendly version of the TV game show Family Feud. Taking turns, the teams will be asked questions with multi-part answers. Each team member will have an opportunity to contribute a part of the answer in the order in which they stand. For each complete answer (all parts correctly identified), the team will be awarded 50 points. If only part of the question is answered correctly, they will receive 25 points and the other team will have a chance to complete the answer. If the opposing team can complete the answers, they will receive 50 points; if not, they receive nothing but have the opportunity to play or pass the question to the other team. Sometimes it is advantageous to pass, especially if the question is difficult and you think your team knows only part of the answer—a part they may be able to contribute later when the other team is stymied.

∼ 120 ∼

Activity 24


Step 2: Brief the coaches and distribute Exercise 24.1. Notes: Explain to coaches that they speak for their team on matters of general interest. For example, after conferring with the team, they express the team’s wish to play or pass to the other. In tiebreaker or grand prize categories, they will lead as the team decides who will be the spokesperson. Give the coaches a copy of the exercise and ask that they discuss the rules with their teams. Allow 5 to 10 minutes for review of the rules and material prior to play. No materials will be used for reference during play. Step 3: Conduct the activity. Notes: 1. With the teams lined up on opposite sides, flip a coin to determine who will have the first option to answer. 2. Display or ask the question. 3. Allow the team who won the coin toss to confer and choose to play or pass. 4. The first team attempting to answer the question gets 50 percent more opportunities to answer than there are parts to the answer. Example: If the answer has 6 parts, the team gets nine chances; if the answer has five parts, the team gets eight chances. If the team has still not arrived at all of the correct answers, it receives 25 points for the answers given correctly, and the turn passes to the other team. 5. The opposing team gets one chance for each missing part. If the team answers correctly, it gets 50 points. If the team cannot fill in the missing parts with correct answers, it does not score but has the opportunity to play or pass the next question. 6. If the original team correctly answers all parts and scores the 50 points, the opposing team gets the option to play or pass. 7. Play continues until even rounds have been played (four, six, or eight questions). 8. If the score is tied, each team chooses a representative and the first to answer the tiebreaker question correctly wins the game for his/her team. 9. Prizes can be awarded if that option has been chosen.

∼ 121 ∼

Activity 24


Step 4: Review the activity. Notes: Ask some or all of these questions: • •

•

What did we just do? What was the purpose of this exercise? (Most of the time the participants are amazed that they just reviewed most of the material covered and had fun doing it.) How could you use this technique, or a form of this technique, for those whom you coach?

∼ 122 ∼

Exercise 24.1

Exercise 24.1: Dueling Families Instructions for the coach: As coach, the team will depend on your leadership for direction but not for the answers. As a team, or one of the “dueling families,” you will strategize playing or passing options in an attempt to answer more questions correctly when it is your turn to play. The purpose of the exercise is to score more points for your team than the other one scores. You will be given time to meet with your team to review the rules for play and the materials over which play will be based. When it is time to play: 1. Your team will line up opposite the other. The way in which you line up could be critical. Each person will take turns giving an answer. Consider how that might influence scoring. 2. A question will be asked or displayed. No reference materials will be allowed. 3. The team that won the toss will have the option (after considering the question) to play and attempt to answer or to pass and give the question to the other team. 4. The team that plays will give answers in the order that they stand in line. The individual will receive no help, only encouragement, from the other “family” members. There will be 50 percent more opportunity to respond to the question correctly than there are answers. For example, if there are four answers, the team would have six chances to get them right. If all parts are answered correctly, the team receives 50 points. For even a portion of correct answers, the team will receive 25 points. 5. If the team cannot answer all parts correctly, the other team gets the chance to try. If the opposing team gets all the remaining portions correct, it receives 50 points. If the opposing team cannot, it receives nothing but the option to play or pass to the next question. 6. Play continues until all rounds have been completed. In case of a tie, each team will confer and appoint a team representative to play in a tiebreaker. 7. The first person to answer the tiebreaker question correctly wins the game for his/her “dueling family.” Once chosen to speak for the team, that person will not be able to confer with the others about the answer.


∼ 123 ∼

25

Concentrate on. . .

Description This activity can be used as an introduction to training or as a review technique. It can be used in triads or with the larger group divided into teams working in competition.


recognize certain aspects of any topic; and review personal knowledge level and recall ability.


Orientation Training Course closure


Any Any



Play card(s); either one large, for use by the entire group divided into two teams, or enough for groups of three (see “Method”) Flipchart stand and paper or whiteboard and marker to be used for keeping score for a large group Trainer’s Notes

∼ 125 ∼

Activity 25


Method Step 1: Prepare the activity (see Trainer’s Notes). Notes: You will need to prepare play card(s) based on the topic. Cards can be small (8½ x 11) for using with groups of three, or a large play card can be prepared on a flipchart page or poster board for larger groups. When preparing the play card, remember to devise some method by which the words can be covered until correctly identified in matching pairs. Playing pieces such as checkers, buttons, or bottle caps can be used for the smaller version. For the larger version, you can use Velcro™ on paper or poster board. Magnetic strips can be used on a metal whiteboard. Number the outside so that players call them as they attempt to match pairs. Step 2: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain that this activity will be used to either: •

Review the material just covered.

•

Introduce the material to be covered.

•

Explain that the exercise will work similar to the TV game show Concentration. The object is to uncover matching pairs. When a person or team remembers correctly and uncovers a pair, they score a point and get to play again. When all the pairs have been matched, the person or team with the highest score wins. Explain that actually everyone wins. Everyone will have either been introduced to the new material or will have reviewed the material just covered.

Step 3: Distribute materials if the group is playing in teams of three. Notes: Ask the group of three to decide which two participants will play and who will keep score. Ask the participant keeping score and observing the play to cover the words so that the other two can’t see. Allow play to continue until all groups are finished. Step 4: Begin play if two large teams are playing. Notes: Ask each team to appoint a representative who will play for the team. Play starts with the team rep who wins the coin toss. That person continues to play until unable to make a match. When that occurs, it is the opponent’s turn.

∼ 126 ∼

Activity 25


Suggest that, while not calling out the matches, the team verbally encourage their representative with enthusiasm. Play until all matches are made. Tally the scores to determine the “winner.” Step 5: Lead a discussion. Notes: If you are using this as an introduction, begin at this point to train the participants. You can ask them to introduce themselves by identifying which of the roles, skills, or concepts they need the most. You will have the beginnings of a class needs assessment. If this is a review technique, you will want to congratulate the participants on how well they did. Step 6: Review the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • •

Which of these are easiest for you? Which are more difficult? Which are least often evident in your workplace? What benefit would result if all aspects were routinely apparent?

∼ 127 ∼

Trainer’s Notes

Trainer’s Notes: Sample Game Coaching Roles Negotiator

Counselor

Mentor

Negotiator

Director

Teacher

Counselor

Sponsor

Mentor

Leader

Listener

Advocate

Leader

Director

Trainer

Sponsor

Advocate

Listener

Trainer

Teacher


∼ 129 ∼

26

Coaching Challenge

Description This activity can be used to review key concepts presented during the training. It can, at your option, also be used to create fun competition among participants.


define key terms related to the role of the coach/mentor; and describe the importance of various coaching roles

Skill Areas • •



Any Any

Time 30 minutes


Trainer’s Notes One copy of Exercise 26.1 for each participant Pen or pencil for each participant Prizes for winners (optional)

∼ 131 ∼

Activity 26


Method Step 1: Prepare the activity. Notes: Decide if the game will be played by individuals or teams. Decide if you want to provide “prizes” to the winners. Step 2: Introduce the activity. Notes: Review the objectives. Step 3: Distribute Exercise 26.1. Notes: Have participants fill out their game cards. Random assignment of terms is best so that cards are different. Step 4: Explain the rules. Notes: You will provide only the definitions of coaching/mentoring terms. Participants will find the correct answer and mark it with an “X.” The first person/team to get five in a row vertically, horizontally, or diagonally wins, provided they can explain the importance of the roles they have marked. The person/team is asked to read the terms that are marked. If they have marked the correct term, they will then explain why that role is important for a coach. If the explanation is satisfactory, they keep the “X.” If the explanation is not satisfactory, another person/team can win the “X” by giving the correct explanation. Step 5: Conduct the activity. Notes: Read definitions one at a time. Play until there is a winner. Participants must be able to both identify the term and explain its importance. Award prizes to winners (optional).

∼ 132 ∼

Activity 26


Continue playing until there are winners in all directions (horizontally, vertically, and diagonally). Do not start a new game each time. Continue from where you left off with the previous winner. Go for “blackout” if time permits. Step 6: Review the activity. Notes: Summarize objectives and discuss any questions participants have.

∼ 133 ∼

Trainer’s Notes

Trainer’s Notes: Coaching Definitions Use the following definitions or modify the list as necessary to fit with your course materials. Use the definitions in any order. Number the definitions as you use them so that you can repeat the order when checking winners’ results. Feedback

Information given to employees to let them know how they are doing on a daily basis.

Mentor

A person who provides guidance and feedback to another person on a regular basis.

Orientation

The process of getting a new person started.

Goal

An object or end that one strives to attain; it should be realistic and attainable.

Communication

The act of exchanging information; it works best if it’s two way.

Appraisal

A formal method of providing feedback.

Listening

A skill that allows coaches to find out what their people are thinking.

Trust

Confidence in another person’s honesty; it has to be earned, not demanded.

Training

The process of helping an employee learn a new skill.

Teamwork

The active participation of all members toward the same goal.

Networking

The practice of using other people as resources in gathering information.

Performance

The act of executing; it’s what really matters.

Recognition

The act of letting employees know that their good work is appreciated.

Delegating

The act of giving an employee the authority and responsibility to complete a task.

Counseling

An activity reserved for serious performance problems.

Expectations

The performance that is expected; whatever they are, performance is likely to be similar.


∼ 135 ∼

Exercise 26.1

Exercise 26.1: Coaching Challenge Instructions: Write the terms below in the squares in the matrix, one term per square. You choose the square where you want to write the term. When you are finished, you will have created your own individual “Coaching Challenge” game card. Listening Performance Teamwork Feedback

Appraisal Expectations Counseling Communication

Delegating Recognition Networking Orientation

Trust Training Goal Mentor


∼ 137 ∼

27

Opposite Poles

Description This activity enables participants to identify key benefits and problems associated with delegating. It is also useful for an initial small group activity.


list and discuss key benefits in delegating; and develop ways to overcome the disadvantages of delegating.


Icebreaker Delegation Setting expectations


12 to 40 Supervisors or managers

Time 30 minutes

Resources • •

Flipchart stand, paper, and markers 3 x 5 index cards

∼ 139 ∼

Activity 27


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Divide the class into groups of five to seven participants each. Instruct the groups to develop a list of the most significant benefits of delegating and the two biggest problems associated with delegating. Each is to be written on a 3 x 5 index card. Step 2: Conduct the activity. Notes: Groups are to volunteer the benefits they listed, one at a time. Write each on the flipchart. When all the benefits have been listed, instruct the groups to exchange the problems they listed with those of another group. Give them 10 minutes to brainstorm ways of overcoming or minimizing the problems. Step 3: Facilitate discussion. Notes: At the end of 10 minutes, have each group volunteer the two or three solutions they like the most. List these on the flipchart, along with the “problem” they attacked. Note: This activity is useful for introducing many topics, especially those that may be perceived as having disadvantages such as counseling, criticizing, etc.

∼ 140 ∼

28

Nonverbal Behaviors

Description This is a “fish bowl” exercise to provide participants with practice in identifying positive and negative communication behaviors.


recognize when they are engaging in effective or ineffective listening behaviors; and identify listening behaviors in others.


Communication Listening Nonverbal communication


16 to 30 Any


Resources • •

One copy each of Exercises 28.1 through 28.4 for each participant Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

∼ 141 ∼

Activity 28


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Tell participants that the purpose of this exercise is to see communication in action. Separate the class into two groups, one of 6 to 12 participants, and the other of all the remaining participants. The first group will be the “committee,” and the second group will be observers. Distribute copies of Exercises 28.1 and 28.2 to alternating committee members (designate them as As and Bs) and Exercises 28.3 and 28.4 to alternating observers (also designated as As and Bs). Step 2: Conduct the activity. Notes: Give the committee 30 to 40 minutes to discuss the issue of whom to hire for the position of executive director. Step 3: Discuss the communication process. Notes: Ask observers to share their notes (one observation at a time, per observer, so that all are able to contribute). Write their remarks on a flipchart marked “Positive Behaviors” and “Negative Behaviors.” Questions you might ask: • • • •

Did any of these behaviors go unnoticed by the committee members? Did any of these behaviors create feelings among the committee members (either positive or negative)? Did committee members try to overcome the effects of the negative behaviors? If so, how? Which of these behaviors do we find ourselves performing?

∼ 142 ∼

Exercise 28.1

Exercise 28.1: Discussion Instructions—Committee Member A You are a member of the search committee to hire a new executive director for the local chapter of the United Way. Your chapter, the United Way of Mid-America, is a fairly large one, serving seven counties with a total population of 450,000. Your chapter supports over 30 agencies, including very active Red Cross and Salvation Army chapters. Mid-America has a staff of 30 full-time employees and 5 part-time employees. The position pays $50,000 per year. You have narrowed your list to four candidates and must select one during today’s meeting. All are from outside your area: Fred Baxter

Age 59, married with four grown children. Degree: MBA. Was most recently vice president of Sales for a manufacturer of light aircraft. Has chaired several successful United Way campaigns. Would encourage support of more agencies while expecting established agencies to gradually develop more of their own funding sources.

Wilma Johnson

Age 45, married, no children. Degree: BS, Psychology. Was most recently director of Development for a state university with 20,000 students. Has been a volunteer on a number of fundraising efforts. Would set a goal of increasing local support to 125 percent of present level and use the additional funds to finance new agencies, especially those helping unemployed and hopeless.

Larry Reynolds

Age 37, married with two children. Degree: MS, Education. Was most recently director of a Red Cross chapter with 21 employees. Has chaired another chapter Fund Allocation Committee for three years. Would place emphasis on children’s issues.

David Espinoza

Age 42, divorced with custody of one child. Was most recently owner of his own computer software company (which he sold at a fair profit). Has led successful special event fundraisers. Advocates more careful scrutiny and auditing of agencies. Would heighten fundraising efforts and emphasize counseling for families.

(Continued)

∼ 143 ∼

Exercise 28.1 (concluded) Throughout your discussion, do your best to practice positive communication behaviors, such as: • • • • • • •

Exhibiting an “inviting,” involved posture Encouraging others to contribute Maintaining eye contact Making your comments clearly and concisely Listening without interrupting Clarifying others’ comments Helping to resolve conflicts


∼ 144 ∼

Exercise 28.2

Exercise 28.2: Discussion Instructions—Committee Member B You are a member of the search committee to hire a new executive director for the local chapter of the United Way. Your chapter, the United Way of Mid-America, is a fairly large one, serving seven counties with a total population of 450,000. Your chapter supports over 30 agencies, including very active Red Cross and Salvation Army chapters. Mid-America has a staff of 30 full-time employees and 5 part-time employees. The position pays $50,000 per year. You have narrowed your list to four candidates and must select one during today’s meeting. All are from outside your area: Fred Baxter

Age 59, married with four grown children. Degree: MBA. Was most recently vice president of Sales for a manufacturer of light aircraft. Has chaired several successful United Way campaigns. Would encourage support of more agencies while expecting established agencies to gradually develop more of their own funding sources.

Wilma Johnson

Age 45, married, no children. Degree: BS, Psychology. Was most recently director of Development for a state university with 20,000 students. Has been a volunteer on a number of fundraising efforts. Would set a goal of increasing local support to 125 percent of present level and use the additional funds to finance new agencies, especially those helping unemployed and hopeless.

Larry Reynolds

Age 37, married with two children. Degree: MS, Education. Was most recently director of a Red Cross chapter with 21 employees. Has chaired another chapter Fund Allocation Committee for three years. Would place emphasis on children’s issues.

David Espinoza

Age 42, divorced with custody of one child. Was most recently owner of his own computer software company (which he sold at a fair profit). Has led successful special event fundraisers. Advocates more careful scrutiny and auditing of agencies. Would heighten fundraising efforts and emphasize counseling for families.

(Continued)

∼ 145 ∼

Exercise 28.2 (concluded) Throughout your discussion, display negative communication behaviors, such as: • • • • • • • •

Exhibiting a closed or uninterested posture Interrupting others Looking away, cleaning nails, etc. Using sarcasm Asking “quiz questions” Judging others’ ideas Wandering off-track Creating conflict or arguments

It is important that you be realistic in your behaviors. Several of your committee members will receive these same instructions, so you don’t have to display all of these negative behaviors yourself.


∼ 146 ∼

Exercise 28.3

Exercise 28.3: Discussion Instructions—Observer A As you observe the committee, watch for positive communication behaviors. Record your observations by using specific behavioral terms such as “. . .clarified Susan’s comment by saying. . .” or “. . .asked John if he had any ideas on how to. . . .” Name

Behavior


∼ 147 ∼

Exercise 28.4

Exercise 28.4: Discussion Instructions—Observer B As you observe the committee, watch for negative communication behaviors. Record your observations by using specific behavioral terms such as “. . .interrupted Susan by saying he never heard of. . .” or “. . .leaned back, folded his arms, and looked at his feet. . . .” Name

Behavior


∼ 149 ∼

29

Fishbowl

Description This activity can either be used as a discussion starter at the beginning of a session or to close the session. Its purpose is to identify and discuss key coaching concepts.


identify key coaching concepts; and describe expectations for the training session; or describe how the course met expectations.

Skill Areas • •

Icebreaker Course closure


Any Any

Time 30 minutes


Fishbowl or similar container One 3 x 5 index card per participant (two if using as icebreaker) Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

∼ 151 ∼

Activity 29


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Review the objectives. Step 2: Give each participant one index card. Notes: Have participants write on the 3 x 5 index card the way they would finish the following sentence: “One of the most important roles of a coach is to. . .” If using as an icebreaker, give participants a second card. Have them write their names on the second card. Step 3: Collect the cards and place them in the fishbowl. Step 4: Draw the cards from the fishbowl one at a time. Notes: Read what is on the card and ask for the participant who wrote the card to identify himself/herself. Write the comment from the card on the flipchart. Have the participants explain their responses to the group. If using the activity as an icebreaker: After you draw the “name” cards, have the participants introduce themselves to the group. List the information you want them to tell the group on a second flipchart so that the introductions will be consistent. Continue until all cards have been drawn from the fishbowl. Step 5: Review the activity. Notes: If using the activity as an icebreaker, comment on the coaching roles and explain which ones will be covered during the course. If using this as a course closure, compare comments to course expectations that were discussed at the beginning of the session.

∼ 152 ∼

30

Recognition Brainstorm

Description This activity encourages participants to think beyond monetary rewards and brainstorm other ways of recognizing positive performance.


identify (by 4 times the number of participants) methods to recognize performance; benefit from the experience of other participants; and develop a plan for implementing recognition methods.


Evaluation Goal setting Nurturing Recognition and reward Setting expectations


10 to 15 Any



Four prepared flipcharts Ten (10) self-stick notes approximately 2 square for each participant Pen or pencil for each participant Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

∼ 153 ∼

Activity 30


Method Step 1: Prepare the activity. Notes: Prepare four flipchart pages with the following headings: • • • •

Free $10 or less $11—$25 Over $25

Step 2: Introduce the activity. Notes: Review the objectives. Discuss the importance of providing recognition to employees when they meet established goals or expectations. Discuss how many organizations use monetary incentive systems that reward employees in actual cash. Explain that other types of recognition, such as pins or badges and prizes, often have just as much (sometimes more) value to employees than monetary rewards. Show participants the headings on the four flipcharts and tell them they will be identifying nonmonetary methods of employee recognition. Step 3: Distribute 10 self-stick notes to each participant. Step 4: Have participants identify types of recognition. Notes: Instruct participants to write on their self-stick notes at least one type of recognition that could be provided for each of the four categories shown on the flipcharts. Step 5: Brainstorming Round 1. Notes: Start with any one of the four categories. Have each participant go to the flipchart one at a time and put his/her note on the flipchart. As participants are putting their notes on the chart, they should say what it is and briefly explain it if necessary.

∼ 154 ∼

Activity 30


Follow brainstorming rules and do not permit other participants to discuss the idea at this time. Continue until every participant has placed at least one note on the chart. Participants can use their extra notes if they want to place more than one note on the chart. When there are no more ideas, conclude Round 1. Do not discuss the list at this time. Step 6: Brainstorming Rounds 2, 3, and 4. Notes: Follow the same procedure as for Round 1 and complete the process for each of the other three categories. Step 7: Discuss and evaluate the four lists. Notes: Divide participants into four groups. Assign each group one of the four categories. Each group should: •

Evaluate each of the items on their list and develop their own “final” list. They may add or subtract from the initial list.

•

Come up with a strategy for implementing each item. For example, if a person is to be recognized, then that person’s name could be published in the company newsletter or announced over the public address system, if there is one.

•

Prepare a brief report on their list and strategies to present to the entire group.

Step 8: Have groups present reports. Notes: Have each small group present the results of their discussion to the entire group. Step 9: Review the activity. Notes: Summarize objectives and how they were met. Reinforce the importance of recognition and using the various strategies identified by the group.

∼ 155 ∼

31

Word Search

Description This is an end-of-course activity designed to allow participants to review key points of a coaching seminar in a fun and relaxing way.


identify key terms related to coaching skills; and describe the coaching skills they learned during the seminar.

Skill Area Course closure


Any Any

Time 30 minutes


One copy of Exercise 31.1 for each participant Trainer’s Notes Pen or pencil for each participant

∼ 157 ∼

Activity 31


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Review the objectives. Step 2: Distribute Exercise 31.1. Notes: Read the instructions and have participants complete the activity. Allow 5 to 10 minutes. Step 3: Conduct session review. Notes: Name one of the words on the list and ask who found it. Have one participant who found the word tell where he/she found it. Then have the participant briefly explain what he/she learned about that topic during the seminar. Use this time to reinforce key points. You may want to have other participants tell what they learned as well as the person who found the word. Cover as many words as you wish or as time permits.

∼ 158 ∼

Exercise 31.1

Exercise 31.1: Word Search Hidden below are the following coaching terms: feedback mentor orientation goal sponsorship communication

performance expectations collaboration recognition body language assertiveness

coaching training teamwork counseling networking

appraisal delegate listening evaluation trust

Circle each word when you find it. Words can be found by reading frontward, backward, up, down, across, and diagonally. Some letters are used in more than one word. K R A B O A F E L L T T A B A G O

S E C O L L A B O R A T I O N O T

A P O D E E X P E C T A T I O N S

T L M Y T E A M W O R K H L O E M

P A M L A F P E R T E C X I N E O

E S U A S O P N A A A O O S N C R

R T N N S F R E C O G N I T I O N

F I I G E E A T C R R O O E T U E

O E C U R E I O I I E R B N R N T

R F A A T D S L W E A L O I A S W

M O T G I B A A R N T A A N I E O

A R I E V A L U A T I O N G N L R

N C O O E C I P C A R G S A I I K

C A N I N K E O K T E U W O N N I

E T A G E L E D I I R A S E G G N


∼ 159 ∼

R I L E S I S I D O L D E T O E G

T O R O S T S P O N S O R S H I P

Trainer’s Notes

Trainer’s Notes: Answer Key to Exercise 31.1 Hidden below are the following coaching terms: feedback mentor orientation goal sponsorship communication

performance expectations collaboration recognition body language assertiveness

coaching training teamwork counseling networking

appraisal delegate listening evaluation trust

Circle each word when you find it. Words can be found by reading frontward, backward, up, down, across, and diagonally. Some letters are used in more than one word.

K R A B

S E C O

O A F E

L L A B

L L T

O R A

T A B A

T I O N

G O

O T

A P O

T L M

P A M

E S U

R T N

F I I

O E C

R F A

M O T

A R I

N A O

C C N

D E E X

Y T E A

L A F P

A S O P

N S F R

G E E

U R E I

A T D S

G I B A

E V A L

O E C I

I N K E

P E C T

M W O R

E R T E

N A A A

E C O G

O I I E

L W E A

A R N T

U A T I

P C A

O K T E

A T I

K H L

C X I

O O S

N I T

R B N

L O I

A A N

O N S

O E M

N E O

N C R

I O N

R N T

A S W

I E O

A T C R R O O E T U E

O N G

R G S A

U W O

N L R

I I K

N N I

E T A G E L E D I I R A S E G G N


∼ 161 ∼

R I L

T O R

E S I S

O S T S

I D O L

P O N

D E T

S O R S

O E G

H I P

32

Finish the Sentence

Description This is a very short, very flexible activity to begin an exploration of coaching by having participants discuss their own feelings or experiences with coaching. It is especially appropriate as an introductory exercise.

Objective By the end of this activity, participants will be able to express their own assumptions or beliefs on coaching.

Skill Areas • •

Icebreaker Role of coach/mentor


9 to 24 Any



Flipchart stand, paper, and markers 3 x 5 index cards Masking tape

∼ 163 ∼

Activity 32


Method Step 1: Prepare the activity. Notes: Before class begins, prepare index cards by printing an incomplete sentence on each card. Suggested sentences: • • • • • •

A good coach always. . . The role of a coach in an organization is to. . . A football coach and a business coach are alike because. . . A football coach and a business coach are not alike because. . . A mentor is one who. . . Some coaches are ineffective because they. . .

Prepare four to six index cards with each sentence. Step 2: Conduct the activity. Notes: Cards may be distributed at any time, but this activity is most effective as a discussion starter at the beginning of the class. Distribute one card to each participant as they enter the room. Explain that they are to find other participants with the same sentence. If used as an icebreaker, they are to introduce themselves to each other and form groups (of four to six members). Begin the class by instructing participants to finish their sentence in three to five ways. They should write their answers on a sheet of flipchart paper. Participants tape their answers where the rest of the class can see them. Step 3: Discuss the group’s responses. Notes: One or two spokespersons from each team reads the whole sentence to the rest of the class. Instruct the rest of the team to explain why they responded as they did. Relate group responses to learning points that will be covered later in the training.

∼ 164 ∼

33

Theory X/Theory Y Assumptions

Description This is a paper-and-pencil activity with follow-up discussion. It illustrates the effect that having assumptions about human behavior will have on coaching styles.


identify their own X and Y assumptions; and practice behaviors appropriate for an X or Y situation.

Skill Areas • •

Building trust Role of coach/mentor


Any Any, but experience as supervisor is helpful


Resources • •


∼ 165 ∼

Activity 33


Method Step 1: Prepare the activity. Notes: Prepare for this exercise by becoming familiar with Douglas MacGregor’s Theory X and Theory Y. This study of management assumptions about people is a standard part of motivation theory and will be easy for you to find. Step 2: Distribute Exercise 33.1. Notes: Explain that this exercise will examine some of the assumptions we hold about people, and how these assumptions affect the way we coach. Allow about 4 minutes for completion. Step 3: Discuss X and Y assumptions. Notes: Begin a discussion of Theory X and Theory Y by drawing a vertical line to create two columns on the flipchart. Label one column “X” and the other column “Y.” Explain MacGregor’s approach in simple terms: that he believed leaders hold two basic sets of assumptions about people, which he labeled “X” and “Y.” Write “Most people don’t want to work” in the X column. Have the class volunteer assumptions that they think would be included in X. Write “Most people seek responsibility” in the Y column. Have the class volunteer other assumptions. On another sheet of flipchart paper, have the class volunteer a few behaviors that might result from each set of assumptions. Write X behaviors with a blue marker and Y behaviors with a green marker. Explain that the terms blue and green will be used because biases exist regarding behaviors corresponding to X and Y. Blue behaviors tend to focus on directing and controlling; green behaviors tend to focus on coaching and communicating.

∼ 166 ∼

Activity 33


Step 4: Distribute Exercise 33.2. Notes: Have participants score their responses and mark their score on the X—Y scale. Questions you might ask: • • •

Do you think your score really reflects assumptions you hold about others? Why or why not? What has caused your behavior to be more blue/green? What do you think it might mean if you’re toward the middle of the scale?

Step 5: Distribute Exercise 33.3. Notes: Explain why, depending on how mature subordinates are (that is, how well they work together and how well they do their work), more or less blue or green behavior might be appropriate. Divide the class into groups of five to seven participants each. Instruct half of the groups to complete the questions in the “Blue” column and the other half of the groups to complete the questions in the “Green” column. Step 6: Conclude the activity. Notes: Have groups select a spokesperson to report their responses to the rest of the class. Summarize this activity by asking the class “What coaching conclusions can we draw from our responses?” Record their answers on the flipchart.

∼ 167 ∼

Exercise 33.1

Exercise 33.1 Coach’s Assumptions Divide three points between each pair of statements. Use only whole numbers. For example: 2

I like Chevies.

1

I like Fords.

or

0

I like to fish.

3

My hobby is skydiving.

Generally, I think that… 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

A.

Employees want to achieve the objectives of the organization.

B.

Employees are not interested in the objectives of the organization.

C.

Employees focus their attention on getting an appropriate amount of work accomplished.

D.

Employees tend to get involved in inappropriate activity at work.

E.

Employees should be told how to do a job.

F.

Employees are able to plan their own work.

G.

Employees need to be pushed to respond to unusual requests.

H.

Employees take the initiative in anticipating unusual needs.

I.

Employees are creative in devising better ways of accomplishing a task.

J.

Employees need to be shown each step of a task.

K.

Employees want to understand the “why” of a request.

L.

Employees would rather be told what to do.

M.

Employees would rather stay home.

N.

Employees want to come to work.

O.

Employees tend to let conflict get in the way of working together.

P.

Employees work well together.

Q.

Employees exercise good judgment.

R.

Employees’ decisions need to be “checked” for quality. Reproduced from 50 Activities for Coaching/Mentoring by Donna Berry, Charles Cadwell, and Joe Fehrmann. Amherst, MA: HRD Press, 1993.

∼ 169 ∼

Exercise 33.2

Exercise 33.2: Scoring Add the points you gave to these items:

Add the points you gave to these items:

B

________

A ________

D

________

C ________

E

________

F ________

G

________

H ________

J

________

I ________

L

________

K ________

M

________

N ________

O

________

P ________

R

________

Q ________

Total:

________

Total:

Mark this total on the X score.

________

Mark this total on the Y scale.

X

Y

27 25 23 21 19 17 15 13 11 9 7 5 3 1

1 3 5 7 9 11 13 15 17 19 21 23 25 27


∼ 171 ∼

Exercise 33.3

Exercise 33.3: Company Behaviors Blue 1.

Green 1.

What are some examples of effective “blue” behavior?

Example:

Example: •

2.

Giving work instructions and following up to be sure they are followed

What are some examples of ineffective “blue” behaviors?

•

2.

Example: •

3.

Asking employees for their ideas on solving a problem

What are some examples of ineffective “green” behaviors? Example:

Shouting at employees

How might “green” and “blue” behaviors be combined?

What are some examples of effective “green” behavior?

•

3.

Not responding to a rule infraction

How might “green” and “blue” behaviors be combined?


∼ 173 ∼

34

Letter to a Friend

Description This activity uses both written and verbal communication to enhance participants’ abilities to discuss performance and expectations in concrete, tangible terms.


express their opinion of performance in concrete, behavioral terms; and use both written and verbal communication to describe performance.


Analyzing performance problems Counseling Evaluation Role of coach/mentor Setting expectations


9 to 27 Any


Resources • •

Flipchart stand, paper, and markers Writing paper for participants

∼ 175 ∼

Activity 34


Method Step 1: Explain the activity. Notes: Explain that one of the most difficult aspects of coaching is identifying or defining behavior. This skill is needed in setting performance expectations, in evaluating performance, and in analyzing performance problems. Instruct participants to think of two people. If participants are supervisors, they should think of their best performer and their worst performer. If they are not supervisors, they should think of current or former coworkers who would be best and worst as performers. Step 2: Conduct the activity. Notes: Tell participants that they are going to write a letter to a friend who is a supervisor and to whom each of these two people has applied for a job. The letter is to give as accurate a description as possible. After the letters are written, have the participants pair up, exchange their letters, and read them. Step 3: Lead the discussion. Notes: Readers are to circle all statements that do not appear clear, that may be interpreted in more than one way, or that do not describe behavior. Partners are to discuss the letters until every reader understands fully what the writer meant to say. Questions you might ask: • • • • •

What was circled in your own letter? How could you have expressed things more clearly? Are any patterns present in our letters (e.g., frequent use of words such as “attitude”)? Was it difficult to explain the employee’s performance in behavioral terms? Why or why not? Why is this skill important in the coaching process?

∼ 176 ∼

35

The Lovers

Description This activity illustrates the part values and ethical decisions can play in the coaching or mentoring process.


appreciate the significance of different value systems; and understand the effect of differing values on a mentoring relationship.

Skill Areas • •

Building trust Collaboration


Any Any, but a mixture of men and women provides the richest discussion


Resources • •

Flipchart stand, paper, and markers Copies of Exercise 35.1 for one-half of the participants; copies of Exercise 35.2 for the other half of the participants

∼ 177 ∼

Activity 35


Method Step 1: Prepare the class for the activity. Notes: Explain that the activity will give us a quick look at how some of our own values may be different from others’, especially when faced with difficult choices. Step 2: Distribute the exercises to the class. Notes: Half of the participants receive Exercise 35.1 and half receive Exercise 35.2. Instruct participants to silently read the hypothetical story, “The Lovers,” and complete the exercise after the story. Step 3: Discuss responses. Notes: After participants have finished their individual work, draw the following charts on the flipchart: Jennifer David Preston John Thomas Jennifer David Mary John Donna Allow room for at least seven responses on each chart. Ask participants to volunteer their responses to the exercise on ranking the behavior of the characters. After each, ask for one more by saying, “Does anyone have something different from this one?” Your goal is to get as wide a range of responses as possible. Do this with both stories, after having two participants read the stories aloud.

∼ 178 ∼

Activity 35


Prompt debate of the rankings by asking those who rate one character differently from others to explain their decisions. Get participants to ask each other for reasons. Now focus attention on the two stories. If rankings for Jennifer and Preston are different from those for David and Mary, focus discussion on why these characters were judged differently. If they are similar, ask for reasons why. Step 4: Conclude group discussion. Notes: This step may also be done in small groups, with groups reporting their responses to the rest of the participants. Lead a discussion on how this story reveals issues of values in the coaching or mentoring process. Questions you might ask: • • • •

How do values affect the mentoring relationship? What positive results may be obtained by pairing mentors and protégés who have different backgrounds? What dangers are there in pairing mentors and protégés who have different backgrounds? What are some ways a mentor can deal with values that don’t fit the organization’s culture?

∼ 179 ∼

Exercise 35.1

Exercise 35.1: The Lovers During the days of the settlement of the Old West, a young woman named Jennifer and a young man named David joined a wagon train heading for California. Along the way, they fell in love and decided to marry and settle down together when they reached their destination. Through mile after mile of hard travel, they worked together by day and shared their dreams by night. Each day, however, their wagon train fell farther and farther behind its schedule. Unexpected rains, swollen rivers, and other delays slowed their progress until they were in danger of not being able to cross Breakneck Pass. One or two hard snows, and the pass would be closed to wagon trains until spring. In mid-September, the wagon train finally began its ascent of Breakneck Pass. David went to the front of the train to help with the lead wagon while Jennifer took charge of the children at the rear. After days of back-breaking work, the lead wagons finally reached the pass. Suddenly, the heavy clouds unleashed a blinding snowstorm that quickly halted the train. Only a few of the lead wagons reached the crest. As the snow deepened, the remainder turned to work their way back down the trail, below the worst of the blizzard. Jennifer and David were separated by dozens of feet of snow. Jennifer knew that the wagons on the western slope must soon descend or risk being trapped hundreds of feet above help. She went to the train’s scout, Preston, for help. Preston said he knew of a second pass that could be traveled by a single file of pack animals, but not wagons. Jennifer explained her situation and pleaded for his help to take her across to join David. Preston agreed, but on the condition that they spend the evening together having dinner before they left. Distraught, Jennifer went to John, the wagon master. He was Preston’s boss, she reasoned, and could force Preston to help. To her dismay, John told her that Preston was hired to scout westward, and since they were descending to the east because of the snow, he didn’t care what Preston did. In fact, one less person was exactly what their ruined crossing needed, he said. Jennifer could think of no other solution, and agreed to Preston’s terms. They had dinner together, and on the next morning, true to his word, Preston brought her across. At dusk, when they could see the campfires of the lead wagons below them, he left her. When Jennifer told David what she had done, he pushed her away in disgust, telling her he wanted nothing to do with an improper woman. Jennifer was heartbroken. She stood at the edge of the encampment and sobbed. One of the travelers, named Thomas, heard her crying and sought to comfort her. Jennifer told her sad tale. Thomas, not only shocked by David’s behavior but also attracted to Jennifer, sought David out. Our story ends with Jennifer laughing as she watches the enraged Thomas horsewhip David. (Continued)

∼ 181 ∼

Exercise 35.1 (concluded) Directions: Rank the characters of this story from 1 to 5, with 1 being the character whose behavior is most offensive, and 5 the character whose behavior is least offensive. Jennifer

________

David

________

Preston

________

John

________

Thomas

________


∼ 182 ∼

Exercise 35.2

Exercise 35.2: The Lovers During the days of the settlement of the Old West, a young woman named Jennifer and a young man named David joined a wagon train heading for California. Along the way, they fell in love and decided to marry and settle down together when they reached their destination. Through mile after mile of hard travel, they worked together by day and shared their dreams by night. Each day, however, their wagon train fell farther and farther behind its schedule. Unexpected rains, swollen rivers, and other delays slowed their progress until they were in danger of not being able to cross Breakneck Pass. One or two hard snows, and the pass would be closed to wagon trains until spring. In mid-September, the wagon train finally began its ascent of Breakneck Pass. David went to the front of the train to help with the lead wagon while Jennifer took charge of the children at the rear. After days of back-breaking work, the lead wagons finally reached the pass. Suddenly, the heavy clouds unleashed a blinding snowstorm that quickly halted the train. Only a few of the lead wagons reached the crest. As the snow deepened, the remainder turned to work their way back down the trail, below the worst of the blizzard. Jennifer and David were separated by dozens of feet of snow. David knew that the wagons on the western slope must soon descend or risk being trapped hundreds of feet above help. He went to Mary, the wife of the wagon train’s scout (who was across the pass with the lead wagons). Mary said she knew of a second pass that could be traveled by a single file of pack animals, but not wagons. David explained his situation and pleaded for her help to take him across to join Jennifer. Mary agreed, but on the condition that they spend the evening together having dinner before they left. Distraught, David went to John, the wagon master. He was the scout’s boss, he reasoned, and could influence the scout’s wife. To his dismay, John told him that Mary and her husband were hired to scout westward, and since they were descending to the east because of the snow, he didn’t care what Mary did. In fact, one less person was exactly what their ruined crossing needed, he said. David could think of no other solution, and agreed to Mary’s terms. They had dinner together, and on the next morning, true to her word, Mary brought him across. At dusk, when they could see the campfires of the lead wagons below them, she left. When David told Jennifer what he had done, she pushed him away in disgust, telling him she wanted nothing to do with a spineless creature who could do something so improper. David was heartbroken. He stood at the edge of the encampment and sobbed. One of the other women, named Donna, heard him crying and sought to comfort him. David told his sad tale. Donna, not only shocked by Jennifer’s behavior but also attracted to David, sought Jennifer out. Our story ends with David laughing as he watches the furious Donna attack Jennifer. (Continued)

∼ 183 ∼

Exercise 35.2 (concluded) Directions: Rank the characters of this story from 1 to 5, with 1 being the character whose behavior is most offensive, and 5 the character whose behavior is least offensive. Jennifer

________

David

________

Mary

________

John

________

Donna

________


∼ 184 ∼

36

Say what you mean!

Description This activity gives the participants an opportunity to hear simple coaching phrases spoken with a change in inflection. In groups of two or three, the participants take turns reading the phrases with a change in emphasis and tone of voice in an attempt to understand the power of nonverbal communication.


recognize the change in meaning when the tone and inflection of voice is different; practice speaking so that tone and inflection complement and support the words; and describe the different feelings attached to the same words spoken in different ways.


Building trust Nonverbal communication Role of coach/mentor


Any Any


Resources One copy of Exercise 36.1 for each participant

∼ 185 ∼

Activity 36


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity and distribute Exercise 36.1. Notes: Explain that well-intentioned phrases can be misinterpreted when inflection is improper. The participants will use Exercise 36.1 to practice changing inflection. Instruct them to follow the instructions given in the exercise. You might want to demonstrate the example. Practice in advance to feel comfortable. Step 2: Observe the activity. Notes: Walk among the groups to hear the changes in inflection. Help those who are having difficulty. Step 3: Continue the activity. Notes: Direct participants to use the phrases again, this time using a tone of voice that depicts a mood. Draw their attention to instructions 3 and 4. Step 4: Observe the activity. Notes: Listen as they practice. Step 5: Review the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • •

How did meaning, inflection, and tone change? How would tone and inflection affect the employee’s response to the coach? What have we learned with this activity?

∼ 186 ∼

Exercise 36.1

Exercise 36.1: Simple Coaching Phrases Instructions: 1. In groups of two or three, take turns speaking the following simple coaching phrases with inflection or emphasis on a different word in the phrase each time. For example: “Please, try that again.” a) b) c) d)

“Please, try that again.” “Please, try that again.” “Please, try that again.” “Please, try that again.”

2. Note and discuss how the meaning is changed each time inflection is changed. 3. Use these phrases or create new ones: a) b) c) d)

“You did that well this time.” “Have you read the procedures for this process?” “Is this the result you intended?” “What do you think?”

4. Try the phrases again. Use a tone of voice that reflects: • • • • •

Anger Interest Pleasure Apathy Distraction


∼ 187 ∼

37

Three-Element Messages

Description This activity provides participants with an opportunity to practice and observe congruency (consistency) and incongruency (inconsistency) in coaching messages. This should be the opportunity to point out that incongruent messages result in distrust; congruent messages enable the coach to counsel effectively.


recognize incongruency in messages; communicate so that there is congruency with words, tone of voice, and body language; and ask for clarification when receiving a message that is delivered with contradicting parts.


Building trust Communication Counseling Nonverbal communication Role of coach/mentor


Any. If the group is very large, however, this exercise would work better in teams of 6 to 10. Any


∼ 189 ∼

Activity 37


Resources •

Three containers (or if the large group is divided into smaller teams, three containers for each team) labeled as follows: − − −

•

Slips of paper that describe: − − −

•

“Messages” “Tone” “Body Language”

Coaching messages for Container #1 Tone of voice instructions for Container #2 Body language instructions for Container #3

Trainer’s Notes

Method Step 1: Prepare the activity. Notes: For each of three separate containers labeled “Messages,” “Tone of Voice,” and “Body Language,” write statements on separate pieces of paper and place them in the appropriate containers. (See Trainer’s Notes on page 191 for suggestions.) Step 2: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain that coaching phrases can lose intended meaning when tone of voice and body language contradict the words spoken. To illustrate the principle, each person will take a “message” from the container and say it using the paper drawn from the “tone” container and combine the verbal with the nonverbal instruction from the “body language” container. Step 3: Conduct the activity. Notes: Observe and assist as participants attempt to combine three elements. Variation: Ask several different people to speak the same message but each drawing different tone and body language instructions. Ask the participants to make note of change in meaning.

∼ 190 ∼

Activity 37


Step 4: Lead the discussion. Notes: Questions you might ask: • •

What changes in behavior could be facilitated or hindered by incongruent messages? How have you experienced incongruent messages in the workplace?


Why did we do this activity? What have we learned? Which is more powerful—what we say or how we say it?

Step 6: Summarize and conclude the activity. Notes: Make the point clear that when message parts contradict (or when the message is incongruent), the receiver is always more likely to believe the tone of voice and the body language.

∼ 191 ∼

Trainer’s Notes

Trainer’s Notes: Message Component Suggestions Messages

Tone of Voice

Body Language

“How’s it going today?”

Abrupt

No eye contact, look down

“You seem to be doing a great job.”

Indifferent

Turn and walk away as you speak

“Tell me what you think about this situation.”

Empathetic

Sit, lean toward the person, and look into his/her eyes

“We are glad to have you on our team.”

Distracted

Sit, lean back, and put your hands behind your head

“Does this work meet the standard you have set for yourself?”

Angry

Look around as you say the message

“What can I do to help you?”

Puzzled

Hold the person’s arm and look them straight in the eye as you repeat the message

“Feel free to come to me whenever you have a question or problem.”

Genuinely pleased

Cross your arms on your chest as you deliver the message


∼ 193 ∼

38

Proxemics*

Description This activity uses physical space to illustrate how nonverbal behaviors can affect communication.

Objective By the end of this activity, participants will be able to use space effectively in one-on-one communication settings.

Skill Areas • •

Counseling Nonverbal communication


9 to 94 Any


Resources • •

Exercise 38.1 and Exercise 38.2 for alternating participants Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

*Proxemics, from the Greek word meaning “to approach,” is the study of how people use space.

∼ 195 ∼

Activity 38


Method Step 1: Prepare the activity. Notes: Divide participants into two groups, A and B. Distribute Exercise 38.1 to group A and Exercise 38.2 to group B. Tell participants they are not to share exercises with members of the other group. Form pairs with one member from each group (group A member chooses a group B partner). Step 2: Begin the activity. Notes: Begin the activity by saying “Begin your conversations.” Allow approximately five minutes for pairs to converse. At the end of that time, have participants return to their regular places. Step 3: Review the activity. Notes: Lead a discussion of how the use of space can affect the quality of communication. Questions you might ask: • • • •

What did you notice about your conversation partner? Was anyone uncomfortable? How did your discomfort affect your conversation? What can you do when someone uses space differently than you do?

Variation: Group B participants can display nonattentive or disinterested behaviors such as little or no eye contact, leaning away, etc.

∼ 196 ∼

Exercise 38.1

Exercise 38.1: Group A Participants You are to initiate a conversation with your partner (a member of group B). Select one of the following topics, or choose one of your own. • • • •

A local political issue Your (or your partner’s) favorite hobby A work-related topic The best performance evaluation format

Your partner and you will converse for about five minutes. Begin when the trainer says, “Begin your conversations.”


∼ 197 ∼

Exercise 38.2

Exercise 38.2: Group B Participants You are to participate in a conversation with your partner (a member of group A). Your partner will select the conversation topic and will initiate the discussion. Take an active part in the conversation, but as you converse, gradually do two or more of the following: • • •

Touch your partner with your hand Move to within 12 to 16 inches of his or her face Shift in your chair until your knee touches your partner’s knee

Be sure to make your actions natural and gradual. If your partner pulls away or moves, simply continue your gradual “encroachment.”


∼ 199 ∼

39

What are you gonna do?

Description This activity presents a coaching method to use with an employee to resolve a performance problem and get commitment for improvement. Participants will be given the opportunity to practice the coaching method and get feedback on their success.


describe the four-step coaching method; apply the four-step coaching method during a role play; and develop a plan for using the coaching method on the job.


Analyzing performance problems Collaboration Counseling Listening Questioning Setting expectations


Any Any


Resources •

•

One copy of Handout 39.1 for each participant, one copy each of Exercises 39.1, 39.2, and 39.4 for each group, and three copies of Exercise 39.3 for each group Pen or pencil for each participant

∼ 201 ∼

Activity 39


Method Step 1: Introduce the topic and the activity. Notes: Review the objectives. Use the following (or a similar) introduction: When the performance of their people does not meet expectations or developmental goals are missed because of performance deficiencies, effective coaches know it is their responsibility to help their people handle their problems. Examples of performance problems that might occur are • • • •

a a a a

person’s performance, which has been good, begins to slip; person is having trouble meeting commitments; person obviously needs help in resolving a problem; or person comes to you and asks for assistance.

Step 2: Distribute Handout 39.1. Notes: Review the coaching model with participants. Discuss each of the four steps in detail. To focus the discussion, have one of the participants describe a performance problem he or she is currently having with an employee. Use that problem as an example and work through it using the coaching model. Step 3: Set up the role play and distribute Exercises 39.1, 39.2, and 39.3. Notes: Divide participants into groups of three. Assign one person in each group to one of the following roles: • • •

Coach Employee Observer

Review instructions on each of the exercises. Conduct Role Play Situation 1. As participants do the role play, circulate among the groups to ensure they are staying on track. Also use this time to answer questions and provide assistance. After 10 minutes, stop the role play and have the observers provide feedback to the coaches.

∼ 202 ∼

Activity 39


Step 4: Discuss the first role play. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • • • • • •

How successful was the coach in getting agreement that there was a problem? How did he or she go about getting this agreement? Was the employee involved in deciding on a solution? Did the employee and the coach generate several alternatives? Were clear expectations established between the coach and the employee? Does the coach have a follow-up plan? What type of recognition will be given if the problem is solved? What should the coach do if the problem is not solved?

Step 5: Conduct the second role play. Notes: Have participants switch roles and do Role Play Situation 2. After they are finished, discuss the role play using the questions in Step 4. Step 6: Conduct the third role play. Notes: Have participants switch roles again and do Role Play Situation 3. At this point, every participant should have been assigned all three roles. After they are finished, discuss the role play using the questions in Step 4. Step 7: Distribute Exercise 39.4 and discuss. Notes: Have participants complete the worksheet for a current performance problem they want to resolve. Step 8: Review the activity. Notes: Reassemble the entire group and conduct a wrap-up discussion. Questions you might ask: • • • •

How effective do you think this process will be on the job? Why? What would you do differently? What did you learn during the role play that will help you? What obstacles, if any, do you face in using this process?

∼ 203 ∼

Handout 39.1

Handout 39.1: Coaching Model When the performance of their people does not meet expectations or developmental goals are missed because of performance deficiencies, effective coaches use a fourstep process to solve performance problems. 1. Get Agreement that a Problem Exists • • •

Ask questions to see if the person is aware of the problem Ensure that the person understands the consequences of the problem Get agreement from the person that a problem exists

2. Decide on a Solution • • • • • •

Ask questions to involve the person with the problem Generate as many alternatives to the problem as possible Help the person think through the problem Let the person think through the problem Agree on the solution(s) that will be implemented Agree on a timetable for implementing the solution(s)

3. Follow Up • • •

Check to see whether the solution is implemented Determine whether the solution is implemented on schedule Determine whether the solution is working

4. Give Recognition When the Problem Is Solved • • •

Give specific feedback Be sincere when you give feedback Remember that recognition strengthens performance


∼ 205 ∼

Exercise 39.1

Exercise 39.1: Role Play—Coach Situation 1 Three weeks ago Joan (John) transferred to your work group. His/her previous supervisor warned you to expect that he/she would be late frequently. Everything was fine the first two weeks, but this week, he/she was a half-hour late Monday, Wednesday, and again today, Friday. You want to take action now before the problem gets out of hand so you’ve asked Joan (John) to meet with you.

Situation 2 Your boss called you “on the carpet” today for not getting the productivity report in on time. The reason you were late was because your employee Richard (Ruth) was late getting the information to you. This is the second time in the past two weeks this has happened. The first week you were able to cover for Richard (Ruth) because your boss was out of town the day the report was due. You know that if priorities aren’t set today, you’ll have the same problem again next week. You’ve scheduled a meeting with Richard (Ruth) to discuss the problem.

Situation 3 This year was going to be different. All your employees submitted travel and expense budgets for the year and agreed to live within them. You’re now three months into the year, and Barbara (Bob) is 25 percent over budget. The result is that your department’s travel and expense costs are over budget for the first quarter. You have to submit a budget exception report to your boss in two days. You’ve scheduled a meeting with Barbara (Bob) to discuss his/her budget so that you can get things under control by the end of the second quarter.


∼ 207 ∼

Exercise 39.2

Exercise 39.2: Role Play—Employee Situation 1 Your boss asked to meet with you to discuss a “problem.” You’re not sure what the topic is, but you assume it’s the fact that you were late three days this week. Your spouse just took a new job, and you agreed to make sure the kids get to school Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Your spouse will be responsible on Tuesday and Thursday. You didn’t think about telling your boss because you were only 20 minutes late and you see other people routinely coming in 15 minutes late. Besides, you stayed 45 minutes after everyone else on Monday and Wednesday.

Situation 2 The “weekly productivity report”—what an ironic name! It’s been late the last two weeks because the people in Group 18, who are supposed to provide you with their information, have been late. You’ve asked them to get the information to you, but they were even later this week than last week. You heard your boss really caught it from his/her boss today for being late with the report. Now he/she has asked to meet with you about the report. You sure wish there was something you could do, but you don’t have any authority over Group 18.

Situation 3 What a first quarter! You’ve been busier than ever, and the travel schedule has been hectic. You’ve had several projects that required your follow up. You would have liked to have stayed within your new budget, but it just wasn’t possible. You don’t see much changing over the second quarter. If you cut down on your travel, there’s a chance the projects won’t be successful. Your boss has asked to meet with you to discuss your budget. If he/she has any good ideas, you’re open, but if not, well, you’ll be traveling just as much next quarter.


∼ 209 ∼

Exercise 39.3

Exercise 39.3: Role Play—Observer During the role play, your responsibility is to observe the coach and determine how well he/she handles the situation. Use the checklist below to make notes so that you can provide feedback to the group after the role play. 1. Did the coach get agreement that a problem exists?

Yes

No

If so, how?

If not, why not?

2. Did the coach and the employee decide on a solution?

Yes

No

If so, how?

How involved was the employee?

How involved was the coach?

Did they agree on a specific timetable to solve the problem?

(Continued)

∼ 211 ∼

Exercise 39.3 (concluded) 3. Was a follow-up plan discussed?

Yes

No

Do you think the coach will follow up? Why or why not?

4. What type of recognition would be appropriate for this situation?


∼ 212 ∼

Exercise 39.4

Exercise 39.4: Coaching Worksheet Use this worksheet to think about a current performance problem you have with one of your people and to develop a plan for resolving the problem. Refer to it during the discussion to help keep yourself on track. Employee: Date of planned discussion: Describe the problem that you think exists.

Step 1: Get agreement that a problem exists What questions will you ask?

What did you agree to as the problem?

Step 2: Decide on a solution What are the alternatives?

What solution(s) did you agree to implement? By when?

Step 3: Follow up When will you follow up? How will you know the solution is working?

(Continued)

∼ 213 ∼

Exercise 39.4 (concluded) Step 4: Give recognition when the problem is solved What type of recognition will you give? What will you do to help keep the problem from happening again?


∼ 214 ∼

40

Translation, Please

Description This activity reminds participants of the need to express themselves in ways that their listeners can understand.

Objective By the end of this activity, participants will be able to understand the importance of using clear language and words appropriate for the listener.


Icebreaker Counseling Delegating


Any Any


Resources • •

One copy of Exercise 40.1 for each participant Trainer’s Notes

∼ 215 ∼

Activity 40


Method Step 1: Distribute Exercise 40.1 to each participant. Notes: Allow 3 to 4 minutes for completion of the exercise. When time is up, read correct “translations” from the Trainer’s Notes. Recognize participant(s) with the most correct responses. Step 2: Discuss the activity. Notes: Emphasis should be on the importance of clear communication in delegating, counseling, or any other effort involving communication; the “language” to be spoken is one that the other person will understand. Questions you might ask: • •

What dangers are there in using our own professional “languages”? Who has had the experience of now understanding another’s language? How did it feel?

∼ 216 ∼

Exercise 40.1

Exercise 40.1: “Translation, Please” “Translate” as many of the following expressions as you can in the time allowed. All are common sayings. 1. Precipitation entails negation of economy.

2. It is deviation from the routine that gives zest to the cycle of existence.

3. Persons abiding in domiciles of silica combined with metallic oxides are advised not to hurl small geological missiles.

4. Each mass of water vapor suspended in the atmosphere has an exterior decoration of polished metallic hue.

5. Avian creates of kindred mind associate gregariously.


∼ 217 ∼

Trainer’s Notes

Trainer’s Notes: Answers to “Translation, Please” 1. Haste makes waste. 2. Variety is the spice of life. 3. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. 4. Every cloud has a silver lining. 5. Birds of a feather flock together.


∼ 219 ∼

41

“Yeah, but. . .”

Description This role-play activity demonstrates three frequent errors in listening and provides practice for developing empathic listening skills.


demonstrate their empathic listening to a conversation partner; and avoid common, ineffective listening behaviors.


Counseling Listening Nonverbal communication Questioning


12 to 14 Any


Resources • •

Flipchart stand, paper, and markers 3 x 5 index cards (one per participant)

∼ 221 ∼

Activity 41


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Instruct participants to each write on a 3 x 5 index card the issues you recite: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Chocolate ice cream vs. vanilla ice cream Fords vs. Chevies Japanese vs. American cars The Democratic party vs. the Republican party Football vs. baseball

Add other issues as you wish. Next to each item, participants are to indicate which item in each pair they prefer. Once this is done, ask participants to reveal their responses by raising their hands as you read each item. Step 2: Ask for volunteers for demonstration. Notes: Ask for two participants whose answers disagree to volunteer to discuss one of the issues. Instruct one to begin with a statement of feeling or opinion and the other to respond naturally. The two should have a discussion of the issue. Allow several minutes for their discussion, until one or more of the listening errors (some examples are listed in Step 3) have appeared. Repeat with another pair of volunteers. Step 3: Discuss common listening errors. Notes: After thanking volunteers, explain that our discussions with others frequently include poor listening habits, because we learn early in our lives to try to “win” discussions. Because of this, our listening responses tend to fall into three categories. (As you list each item, first ask the volunteers and then other participants for examples of these behaviors shown in class.) • • •

“Yeah, but. . .” (often disguised as, “I understand your position, however. . .”) Quiz questions (leading and loaded questions, or “logic trap” questions) Aggression (sarcasm, interrupting, talking loudly, nonverbal dismissing of the other, etc.)

All of these responses tend to set up a “win-lose” climate. Empathic listening, on the other hand, establishes a supportive, trusting climate in which a freer discussion may take place.

∼ 222 ∼

Activity 41


Step 4: Discuss empathic listening behaviors. Notes: Ask the participants for examples of empathic (or “active”) listening behaviors. List responses on the flipchart. The list should include: • • • • • •

Nodding Paraphrasing Maintaining eye contact Offering “mirror” responses Making encouraging comments Leaning forward

Step 5: Practice active listening. Notes: Ask for two more volunteers to discuss an issue. Have the volunteers and the class list the empathic listening behaviors each volunteer practices. Have participants pair up (it is helpful for partners to disagree on their discussion issues, but it is not vital). Have each pair practice empathic listening. Step 6: Review the activity. Notes: Ask partners to share their reactions to the exercise. Questions you might ask: • • • •

Who had difficulty resisting the urge to “Yea, but. . .” or otherwise “win”? What listening responses were most comfortable? Uncomfortable? What happened to your conversation when you showed you were listening? How can these behaviors contribute to understanding each other?

∼ 223 ∼

42

Making Assignments

Description This role-play activity allows participants to identify common errors in delegating.


identify ineffective delegating behaviors; and identify and practice effective delegating behaviors.


Building trust Delegating Nonverbal communication Setting expectations


12 to 14 Any


Resources • •


∼ 225 ∼

Activity 42


Method Step 1: Prepare the activity. Notes: Explain that the class is about to demonstrate effective and ineffective delegating behaviors. Step 2: Lead a discussion of effective delegating behaviors. Notes: Discuss and list them on the flipchart. The list should include: • • • • • • •

Explanation of the assignment Checking for the subordinate’s understanding Encouragement or emphasis on the value of the assignment Opportunity for the subordinate to ask questions Opportunity for the subordinate to suggest approaches Explanation of follow-up method, quality requirements, and standards Effective nonverbal behaviors, such as: − − − −

Eye contact Open posture Supportive tone Understandable pace

Step 3: Lead a discussion of ineffective delegating behaviors. Notes: These will, for the most part, be the opposite of items on the effective list. Step 4: Conduct the role play. Notes: Distribute one copy of each exercise to each participant. Allow 5 minutes for participants to complete item #1 of Exercise 42.1. Have participants form into groups of three. Members are to each select one role from the list in item #2 of Exercise 42.1. They are to make the assignment, playing one of the roles. A second member plays the role of subordinate, and the third member observes. Each should record their reactions. Repeat until all have been the supervisor at least once. Allow time as follows: • • •

Role play: 5 minutes Subordinate reactions: 3 to 5 minutes Observer reactions: 3 to 5 minutes

∼ 226 ∼

Activity 42


Step 5: Review the activity. Notes: Ask participants for their observations and reactions. Record points on the flipchart. Summarize by referring to the list of effective behaviors developed earlier.

∼ 227 ∼

Exercise 42.1

Exercise 42.1: Assignments 1. Think of a task you assign to one or more of your subordinates that requires an explanation because it is not routine. Complete the following outline: A. Description of the assignment:

B. Standards for completion: 1) Quality

2) Time

3) Cost

4) Other

Other information, as appropriate (priority, other resources, follow-up, etc.):

(Continued)

∼ 229 ∼

Exercise 42.1 (concluded) 2. Roles: A. You are in a hurry, already late and impatient to get to a meeting, and you don’t want to discuss any more than necessary. B. You have a lot of faith in this subordinate; in fact, you don’t even need to discuss the assignment. C. This subordinate is capable, and you want to be sure he/she succeeds in this assignment. Be sure it is understood and the subordinate feels confident. D. This assignment is critical. Unfortunately, this subordinate is not very capable and will probably mess it up.


∼ 230 ∼

Exercise 42.2

Exercise 42.2: Subordinate Reactions 1. What tone did your supervisor use?

2. How was this tone communicated? •

Verbally:

•

Nonverbally:

3. Did you understand the assignment?

4. How do you feel about this assignment?


∼ 231 ∼

Exercise 42.3

Exercise 42.3: Observer Notes 1. What tone did the supervisor use?

2. Did the supervisor check for understanding? How?

3. What message did the supervisor send? •

Verbally:

•

Nonverbally:

4. What effective delegating behaviors were shown?

5. What ineffective delegating behaviors were shown?


∼ 233 ∼

43

Coaching Miscues

Description This activity allows participants to evaluate their coaching skills and learn ways to overcome common coaching errors.


describe the difference between ineffective and effective listening behaviors; identify miscues in specific coaching situations; and develop a plan for preventing coaching errors.


Analyzing performance problems Counseling Listening Nurturing Setting expectations


Any Any

Time 1 to 2 hours

Resources • •

One copy of Handout 43.1 and one copy each of Exercises 43.1 and 43.2 for each participant Pen or pencil for each participant

∼ 235 ∼

Activity 43


Method Step 1: Introduce the topic and the activity. Notes: Review the objectives. Use the following (or a similar) introduction: People make mistakes. As coaches, our job is to help them make fewer mistakes so that their performance improves. Unfortunately, we sometimes make things worse instead of better because we make errors when we coach. Often these errors seem minor and are unintentional. Still, they can cause problems in our relationship with our employees. This activity looks at some of those errors and how to prevent them. Step 2: Distribute Handout 43.1. Notes: Review the characteristics described on the handout and compare and contrast the paired descriptions. Ask participants for specific examples of coaches who have listening skills like those described. Ask if these coaches were effective or ineffective. Emphasize the importance of listening when involved in a coaching situation. You might want to spend some time discussing the concept of “active listening.” Step 3: Distribute Exercise 43.1 and conduct the activity. Notes: Have participants write their answers on the exercise. Then discuss each situation after they finish. Situation 1: •

Employee seems to be blaming someone else. The manager accepts it without question and offers an “ideal” solution.

•

A better approach would be for the coach to gather more information and involve the employee in offering a solution.

Situation 2: •

The coach is trying to guess the problems and is implying that the employee is careless.

•

A more effective coach would try to find out more about the situation by asking the employee to analyze the conditions causing the errors.

∼ 236 ∼

Activity 43


Step 4: Distribute Exercise 43.2 and have participants work through the situations in small groups. Notes: Divide participants into groups of three: • • •


Review the instructions on the exercise and ensure that participants understand what to do. Circulate among the groups and answer any questions during the activity. After each situation, discuss the scenario with the entire group. Use the notes given in Step 5 as a guide. Step 5: Discuss situations 3, 4, and 5. Notes: Situation 3: •

The error is in implying lack of judgment rather than describing the behavior. The employee is likely to be defensive.

•

A better response would be to use active listening and be sure you understand the employee’s point of view.

Situation 4: •

The coach has been allowing the behavior to go on too long without taking action.

•

The coach should try to find out why the employee is late and determine if the problem can be solved.

Situation 5: •

The coach has not been practicing good follow up. Also he/she seems to be impatient and making value judgments.

•

The coach would be better advised to find out why the employee feels this case is different. Asking a few questions would get the dialogue started.

∼ 237 ∼

Activity 43


Step 6: Review the activity. Notes: Reassemble the entire group and conduct a wrap-up discussion. Questions you might ask: • • • • •

How effective do you think these coaches would be on the job? What did you learn from the exercises? How will this help you on the job? What benefits do you see in using these coaching techniques? What obstacles, if any, will keep you from using what you’ve learned?

Summary points to make about effective coaching: • • • • • •

Avoid judgment Maintain objectivity Be sincere Strive to help Get employee commitment Listening is critical

∼ 238 ∼

Handout 43.1

Handout 43.1: Characteristics of Ineffective/Effective Listeners Ineffective

Effective Nonverbal Behavior

Looks bored; seems uninterested or judgmental; avoids eye contact

Maintains positive posture and avoids distracting behavior

Focus of Attention Shifts focus to self and talks about own accomplishments

Keeps focus of comments on the other person Acceptance

Doesn’t accept other person’s ideas or feelings; makes suggestions first

Accepts ideas and feelings and probes for more information before making recommendations

Empathy Fails to see or hear the other person’s point of view

Tries to put himself/herself in the other person’s shoes

Probing Fails to probe or follow up for additional information

Probes in a helpful way, but does not play “20 questions”

Paraphrasing Fails to check whether message was received accurately

Paraphrases and restates what he/she thought the other person said Advice

Narrows the choices by suggesting the best solution early in the discussion

Asks for suggestions from the other person as well as providing own alternatives


∼ 239 ∼

Exercise 43.1

Exercise 43.1: Coaching Miscues—Part 1 Read the situations below. The coach makes one or more miscues. Identify the miscues and then make your own suggestions for improvement.

Situation 1 Employee: “She gets on my nerves.” Coach: “Why don’t you sit down and discuss it with her. I’m sure you two can solve this like adults so that we can get some work done around here.” Coaching miscue:

Suggested improvement:

Situation 2 Employee: “Yeah, I know mistakes are costly.” Coach: “Do you proofread the articles before you send the newsletter to the printer?” Employee: “Every time.” Coach: “Are you sure you understand your new computer?” Coaching miscue:



∼ 241 ∼

Exercise 43.2

Exercise 43.2: Coaching Miscues—Part 2 Each person in the group should take one of three roles: coach, employee, or observer. Have the coach and employee read the situation below. Have them continue the discussion to a conclusion after the script ends. The observer should identify the miscues and then make suggestions for improvement. The observer should also ask the coach and employee for their own suggestions after they complete the exercise.

Situation 3 Employee: “Things are really hectic this time of year. We can’t get caught up because someone always wants something different this week than last week or last year.” Coach: “This is a holiday that comes every year at this time. You need to improve your planning and use the system I showed you.” Coaching miscue:


Situation 4 Employee: “Good morning.” Coach: “This is the third time you’ve been late this month!” Employee: “I didn’t know we had to punch a management time clock.” Coach: “Don’t you realize how much it disrupts my meetings to have you always coming in late?” Coaching miscue:


(Continued)

∼ 243 ∼

Exercise 43.2 (concluded) Situation 5 Coach: “Didn’t we have this discussion once before?” Employee: “Yeah, but that was different.” Coach: “Well, I’m surprised you didn’t remember. I don’t like having to stop what I’m doing to take care of something you should have handled.” Coaching miscue:



∼ 244 ∼

44

Tic-Tac-Toe

Description This activity uses a familiar childhood game to review course material. The activity can be conducted at any time during the course or as a course closure.

Objectives By the end of this activity, participants will be able to evaluate • •

their knowledge of key learning points; and the knowledge of other participants.

Skill Areas • •



Any, divided into teams of five to seven members if there is a large group Any

Time 1 hour


10 3 x 5 index cards per team Pen or pencil for each participant Flipchart stand, paper, and markers for tic-tac-toe diagram Prizes (optional)

∼ 245 ∼

Activity 44


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain that you are going to conduct a game of tic-tac-toe and you’ll explain the special rules in just a few minutes. Step 2: Prepare materials. Notes: Divide the group into two teams designated X and O. If you have a large group, it is recommended that you divide into several teams of five to seven members per team. You will need an even number of teams. Give each team 10 3 x 5 index cards. Assign specific course content areas to each team so that they will not have duplicate questions. Allow 15 minutes for each team to write 10 questions based on their assigned material. Each question should be written on one side of the card and the answer on the other. Have teams number the question side of each card. While teams are writing their questions, prepare as many tic-tac-toe diagrams as you will need. You will need one diagram for every two teams. Step 3: Set up the area. Notes: Select one to four participants from each team as players to represent their respective teams. Seat the players facing the tic-tac-toe diagram. You should act as moderator for the game. If you will have more than one game, assign one participant per game to assist as moderators. Step 4: Conduct the activity. Notes: Use a coin toss to determine which team will go first. The first team selects a number from 1 to 10 and indicates on which space on the diagram they want to place their mark. The opposing team asks the question on the card with the selected number. Team members may confer to come up with their answer. Allow no more than 30 seconds for teams to provide an answer.

∼ 246 ∼

Activity 44


If they answer correctly, place the team’s mark (X or O) in the designated space. If they answer incorrectly, the space is left blank. Alternate between teams in this manner until one team gets a tic-tac-toe. If no team has a tic-tac-toe after all 20 questions are used, the team with the most marks is the winner. Option: Award prizes. Step 5: Review the activity. Notes: Summarize the objectives and how they were met. Reinforce the importance of applying on-the-job skills they learned during the class.

∼ 247 ∼

45

Information Overload

Description This activity is designed to help participants be more aware of their listening habits. It also provides an opportunity to explore what can happen when work assignments are delegated to employees.


describe their listening strengths and weaknesses; describe what can happen when making work assignments; and develop a plan for helping their employees listen.


Icebreaker Delegating Listening Orientation


Any Any


Resources • •

Trainer’s Notes Pen or pencil and paper for each participant

∼ 249 ∼

Activity 45


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Tell participants that they will experience what it is like to be a new employee being given a very specific work assignment. Step 2: Read the assignment from the Trainer’s Notes to the participants. Notes: Read the information at a normal rate of speed. Try to be conversational, as if you were giving a real work assignment. Step 3: Administer the test. Notes: Explain that you want to make sure the new person understands the job assignment. Step 4: Discuss the results. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • • • •

How accurately does your score reflect your listening ability? Why did you score high/low? How do you think a new employee would react to such an assignment? What questions do you think a new employee would ask? Do different people listen in different ways? How? What is your motivation for listening to someone?

Step 5: Repeat the exercise (optional). Notes: Compare scores the second time with those on the first try. Discuss why scores were better or worse. Discuss the importance of asking questions when you don’t understand.

∼ 250 ∼

Activity 45


Step 6: Review the activity. Notes: Discuss the role of listening as it applies to being a successful coach/mentor. Ask participants to think of situations where their inability to listen has caused problems. Ask them how they can improve these situations in the future. If using as an icebreaker, discuss the importance of listening during the course.

∼ 251 ∼

Trainer’s Notes

Trainer’s Notes: Assignment Read the following information to participants at a normal rate of speed. Be as conversational as possible, but don’t permit any questions. (New employees generally are reluctant to ask questions, even if they don’t understand.)

The Situation This is your first day on the job. I’m a coworker the supervisor assigned to you to help with orientation.

The Orientation It’s good to have you with us. The boss had to go to a very important meeting, so she asked me to help get you started. She probably already told you that filing and distributing the mail will be your most important duties. They may be, but I can tell you from my own experience that answering the phone will take most of your time. As far as the filing goes, you’ll get the most from Goodwin. Unfortunately, a lot of it will be personal stuff. If you spend too much time on his stuff, you’ll never get your work done. Then there’s Mason. She won’t give you much, but you’d better get it right. She’s a real stickler. Comes in early and checks the files to see if they’re right. I’m not sure she trusts anyone to do a job right. By the way, it’s a good idea to ask for project status reports the day before they are due so that you can start typing. Poulson is especially bad about expecting to get his handwritten notes typed up 30 minutes before the report is due. It takes that long to figure out his hieroglyphics. The mail situation sounds tricky, but it’s not so bad. It comes in twice a day, once at 10:00 a.m. and again around 2:00 p.m. You’ve got to take the mail that has been left on the desk to Charles Hall for pickup. If you really have some rush stuff, take it to the mail room on the third floor, northeast corner. It’s next to Hunter’s office. On Fridays you have to get to the mail room yourself to pick up the mail. They have so much they just can’t get it delivered. They’ll give it to you in bundles. You’ll probably get a lot of mail that belongs to Preston in the marketing department. He just transferred up there a month ago, and we still get his mail. Sometimes you can sort the mail while you’re walking back here. If you get it done, go ahead and stop by Preston’s office and drop his off. He’s on the northeast corner of the lower level next to the computer lab. I hope the boss filled you in on your breaks. You’ll need them—10 minutes in the morning, 45 minutes at noon, and another 10 in the afternoon. If you’re smart, you’ll go around 9:55 to beat the rush. In the afternoon, you can go anytime. Lunch time depends on whose day it is to answer the phones. We usually try to go between 11:30 and 1:00 in 15-minute intervals. Since you’re new, we’ll try to get you out of here by 12:15 so that you can be back by 1:00 when the afternoon action gets started. (Continued)

∼ 253 ∼

Trainer’s Notes (concluded) One more thing: you are supposed to call Gina at 8:15 every morning and make sure she’s up and getting ready for work. If you forget, she gets very testy. If you have any questions, just ask. Right now I’ve got to get over to the Legal department and pick up some stuff for Mason. See you later.

Listening Test Answer true or false. 1.

You have to pick up the mail yourself on Thursday. False

2.

The mail room is located on the lower level. False

3.

Charles Hall recently transferred to marketing. False

4.

Breaks are 10 minutes, morning and afternoon. True

5.

Lunch is 45 minutes. True

6.

You should be back from lunch by 12:30. False

7.

Goodwin gives personal stuff to file. True

8.

Your main jobs according to the boss are filing and answering the phone. False

9.

You are to call Jeno every morning at 8:45. False

10.

Preston likes to give you handwritten copies to type. False

11.

Most of your time will be spent answering the phone. True

12.

Mason is likely to check the accuracy of your filing. True


∼ 254 ∼

46

Listen up!

Description This activity asks the participants to examine bad listening habits by asking them to list things that people do when they are supposed to be listening.


identify bad listening habits in others; identify bad listening habits of self; and describe the effects of poor listening behavior.


Listening Nonverbal communication Role of coach/mentor


Any Any


Resources Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

∼ 255 ∼

Activity 46


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain that the participants will make a list of bad listening habits—things that people do while assuring the talker that they are listening. Give an example, writing it on the flipchart page, and ask for more ideas. Some of the behaviors that will be listed include reading, watching TV, walking away, avoiding eye contact, doodling, talking to someone else, grooming, eating, drinking, etc. Step 2: Discuss the behaviors. Notes: Participants will more than likely agree that the behaviors they contributed to the list annoy them. To fully cover the negative reaction to these types of behaviors, you might ask: • • •

•

Which of these are most annoying or could even be considered rude? Why? What does that action signal? Which of these are you guilty of displaying on occasion? (Ask the participants to list three of the behaviors that they, personally, have been known to display.) What might cause you to act in these ways.

Step 3: Review the activity. Notes: It is important for the participants to understand that the behaviors they have listed are unacceptable for an effective coach to exhibit. Coaches are expected to be skilled listeners and to work to eliminate any ineffective behaviors. To better apply the concept, ask some or all of the following questions: • •

You have identified some of your own bad listening habits. How will knowing that information help you with your coaching effectiveness? How will knowing what causes such behavior help you with your skill development?

∼ 256 ∼

47

“Just Thought I’d Ask”

Description This activity allows participants to practice assertive communication skills by learning to recognize and eliminate aggressive, emotion-laden messages and passive styles of relating.


recognize aggressive, passive, and assertive styles of communication; and practice effective assertive communication for optimum coaching skill.


Assertiveness Building trust Listening


Any, divided into groups of two or three Any



One copy of Exercises 47.1 and 47.2 for each participant Trainer’s Notes Flipchart stand, paper, and markers

∼ 257 ∼

Activity 47


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity. Notes: Explain that communication is generally divided into three categories: passive, aggressive, and assertive. The first two result in win-lose relationships, while the third, assertive communication, has the predictable outcome of win-win. Step 2: Distribute Exercise 47.1. Notes: Call the participants’ attention to the definitions for passive, aggressive, and assertive communication. Passive communication is an indirect form of communication that indicates an inferior position. People presenting a passive demeanor allow the other’s wants and desires to be more important and have more priority than their own. The passive person becomes a victim. In contrast, aggressive people put their own needs, wants, desires, and rights before anyone else’s. The demanding tone indicates a feeling of superiority. A person using this type of communication always attempts to get his or her way, through either a direct or an indirect, honest or dishonest method. Some aggressive behavior is passive-aggressive in nature. While simple aggressive behaviors bully the other person, the passive-aggressive style is a deceitful, underhanded method that a person uses to gain his or her own way while appearing outwardly compliant. Assertive communication is active, direct, and honest. It communicates thoughts and feelings clearly and takes responsibility for personal emotions and beliefs. Other peoples’ rights are never sacrificed, but the assertive person communicates self-respect as well as respect for others. Assertive behavior creates a win-win situation by listening, negotiating, integrating, and not accepting guilt or responsibility for the actions or feelings of anyone else. Step 3: Explain the activity, referring to your Trainer’s Notes if necessary. Notes: The obvious difference in aggressive and assertive communication is the language, both verbal and nonverbal. Aggressive communication is plagued with accusing “you” messages, while assertive styles use nonjudgmental “I” messages.

∼ 258 ∼

Activity 47


1. Ask the participants to divide into groups of two or three. If you are using groups of three, ask that they rotate the communicator role so that everyone has a chance to act and to react. 2. Ask each group to brainstorm body language behaviors for each of the three types of communication. Allow them 5 to 10 minutes to write their ideas in the box at the bottom of Exercise 47.1. 3. Ask for feedback. Record suggestions on a flipchart using the guide offered in Exercise 47.1. Fill in where the groups come up short on ideas. Ask that they take notes in order to have a complete picture of the behavior. Step 4: Distribute Exercise 47.2. Notes: 1. Ask participants to role play the “you” and “I” statements printed in Exercise 47.2 using the corresponding nonverbal behaviors identified in Exercise 47.1. 2. Allow 10 to 15 minutes for the role play. When everyone has finished, review the activity. Step 5: Review and summarize the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • • • • •

Why did we do this activity? Which type of communication is more likely to result in cooperation? In resentment? In frustration? In trust? Which style is more fitting for the coaching form of leadership? Which type or style would you prefer in those that you coach? What did the role play reveal to you? What did you learn about yourself? How will you be able to use this information with your coaching responsibilities?

∼ 259 ∼

Exercise 47.1

Exercise 47.1: Styles of Communication Passive communication is an indirect form of communication that indicates an inferior position. People presenting a passive demeanor allow the other’s wants and desires to be more important and have more priority than their own. The passive person becomes a victim. In contrast, aggressive people put their own needs, wants, desires, and rights before anyone else’s. The demanding tone indicates a feeling of superiority. A person using this type of communication always attempts to get his or her way, through either a direct or an indirect, honest or dishonest method. Some aggressive behavior is passive-aggressive in nature. While simple aggressive behaviors bully the other person, the passive-aggressive style is a deceitful, underhanded method that a person uses to gain his or her own way while appearing outwardly compliant. Assertive communication is active, direct, and honest. It communicates thoughts and feelings clearly and takes responsibility for personal emotions and beliefs. Other peoples’ rights are never sacrificed, but the assertive person communicates selfrespect as well as respect for others. Assertive behavior creates a win-win situation by listening, negotiating, integrating, and not accepting guilt or responsibility for the actions or feelings of anyone else. List nonverbal behaviors of each style:

Aggressive

Passive

Assertive


∼ 261 ∼

Exercise 47.2

Exercise 47.2: Role Play—“You” and “I” An obvious difference in aggressive and assertive communication is the language—both verbal and nonverbal. Aggressive communication is plagued with accusing “you” messages, while assertive styles use nonjudgmental “I” messages. “You” messages create a climate of defensiveness in the listener. An “I” statement places no blame but is representative of a person who is willing to take responsibility for himself and his feelings. Practice the following “You” and “I” statements using the appropriate body language cues from your work in Exercise 47.1. “I’m concerned when I see behavior that is inappropriate.” “You hurt my feelings.” “You goofed again.” “You make me so mad.” “I am angry about what you just said.” “You are the rudest person I have ever met.” “I feel very frustrated with these errors.” “I’m not sure I made myself clear about what was acceptable.”


∼ 263 ∼

Trainer’s Notes

Trainer’s Notes: Nonverbal Behaviors of Each Style Aggressive

Passive

Assertive

Stares

Hand at or over mouth

Appears at ease and comfortable

Looks at clock or watch

Shoulders slumped

Shoulders and back are straight

Paces

Leans on things

Leans forward; body straight with other person

Appears stiff

Eyes look down

Lowers eyebrows

Does not make eye contact

Frowns

Pouts, looks sad

Rolls eyes

Nods head in agreement

Points finger

Speaks softly

Tone is clear; speaks with proper volume and rate

Uses pen or pencil to direct people

Whines, mumbles

Gives appropriate emphasis

Yells or screams

Acts afraid

Facial expression shows interest

Speaks loudly and/or rapidly

Fiddles with objects

Hands express emphasis

Critical tone

Makes eye contact but looks away every now and then

Hands are open


∼ 265 ∼

48

“Say what?”

Description This activity is designed to illustrate the importance of and need for attentive listening skills in the coach. By asking the participant to hear and remember information, the difficult job of determining what is important will become apparent.


describe the frustration of receiving detailed information and not knowing what to remember and what to ignore; and list reasons why coaches must be able to listen effectively and remember accurately.

Skill Area Listening


Any Any


Resources • •

A copy of Exercise 48.1 for each participant Trainer’s Notes

∼ 267 ∼

Activity 48


Method Step 1: Explain the activity and distribute Exercise 48.1. Notes: Tell participants that they will use this sheet to record their answers, without talking to anyone, to the listen and remember test. Step 2: Using the Trainer’s Notes, read the test “Say what?” Notes: Read test items 1 through 6 in a normal tone and at a normal rate of speed. Do not repeat. This is a listening test. Step 3: Repeat the items and then give answers. Notes: Allow participants to self-score tests as you read 1 through 6 again and give the answers. Step 4: As an optional step, score the results. Notes: Collect scores of each participant and total them. Divide total by number of participants to find the class average. Step 5: Review the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • • • •

What did you feel during this exercise? What did this activity tell you about your listening skills? When might a similar situation occur in the workplace? How important is listening and remembering to the coach? What makes it difficult to listen and remember? How can we work to overcome those barriers?

∼ 268 ∼

Exercise 48.1

Exercise 48.1: “Say what?”—Answer Sheet 1. __________ 2. __________ 3. __________ 4. __________ 5. a. ________ b. ________ 6. __________

How did I do? My score was __________ Compared to the class average of __________


∼ 269 ∼

Trainer’s Notes

Trainer’s Notes: “Say, what?”— Listen and Remember Test 1. In the series of numbers 5, 39, 22, 492, 15, the third number was? 22 2. In the series of words to, at, me, from, for, the fourth word was? from 3. To take advantage of this money-back offer, send the UPC bar code, your receipt, and $1.25 for handling to our home office, Acme Products, Inc., 3915 E. 29th Street, Wichita, KS 67202, postmarked before December 31. How much money do you send? $1.25 4. In the series of colors yellow, blue, red, green, white, which color followed red? green 5. To get to 729 Market Avenue, you need to travel three blocks south, turn right for three blocks, then turn left for one block. a) What are the total number of blocks you must travel to 729 Market Avenue? seven b) What direction would you be going when you get to 729 Market Avenue? South 6. In the series of shapes circle, rectangle, oval, square, triangle, which shape preceded rectangle? circle


∼ 271 ∼

49

Tearing up Communication

Description This activity illustrates the problems associated with incomplete communication and how the communication process can be improved for more productive coaching. It also provides practical experience for giving effective instruction to coaches responsible for training their employees.*


describe the benefit of combining verbal and nonverbal communication in sending a message; use feedback to improve the communication process; identify blocks that interfere with the communication process, including assumptions and perceptions; and use complete communication to reduce frustration.


Building trust Listening Nonverbal communication Training


Any Any


Resources Four pieces of paper (all the same size) for each participant and for you

*Contributed by Kate Martin, Kate Martin & Associates

∼ 273 ∼

Activity 49


Method Step 1: Introduce the activity and organize the group. Notes: Divide the group into groups of two. If you have an odd number, ask one person to be an observer. Ask each pair to identify a “sender” and a “receiver.” Partners should stand back-to-back with senders facing you. Senders should stand in a straight line or some other configuration so that no receivers can see any of the senders. Step 2: Explain the activity. Notes: Tell partners that the goal of the activity is to produce two identical papers after folding and tearing the paper. Explain the procedures and the rules: •

Senders will learn how to fold and tear their papers by observing you. They will fold and tear their papers as you provide direction.

•

Senders will then describe to their receivers how to fold and tear the paper to produce an identical paper.

•

Receivers may not talk or provide any form of nonverbal communication to the senders.

•

Senders and receivers must be standing back-to-back at all times.

Step 3: Demonstrate a folding and tearing pattern to senders. Notes: Hold one piece of paper in front of you and in clear view of all senders. Fold the paper at least three times and tear it at least twice, pausing after each fold or tear to allow senders to complete the process. Do not give any verbal clues that receivers can hear. Inform senders that it is not critical that their papers match yours exactly; however, the goal is for the receiver’s paper to match the senders.

∼ 274 ∼

Activity 49


Step 4: Conduct the activity (Stage 1). Notes: Tell senders to begin giving instructions. Along with any observers, you should watch partners to note any particularly effective communication practices as well as points at which receivers begin to fold or tear the wrong way. After all partners have completed the instruction process, have them compare papers. Step 5: Review Stage 1. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • • •

How many matched? How many did not? What made this difficult? What would have made it easier? What blocks in the communication process can you identify?

(Common problems identified are noise, lack of verbal feedback, and assumptions.) Step 6: Repeat the activity (Stage 2). Notes: Give participants another sheet of paper. Senders and receivers stay in the same role. This time senders and receivers may talk to each other. All other instructions remain the same. Step 7: Review Stage 2. Notes: Conduct a similar discussion, this time noting the impact of verbal feedback on the process.

∼ 275 ∼

Activity 49


Step 8: Repeat the activity (Stage 3—option). Notes: Give participants another sheet of paper. Senders and receivers stay in the same role. This time senders and receivers may talk to each other, the sender can watch over the receiver’s shoulder and give instructions, but in such a way that the receiver cannot see the sender. Step 9: Review Stage 3. Notes: Conduct a similar discussion this time noting the impact of verbal interaction and visual confirmation by the sender. Step 10: Repeat the activity (Stage 4—option). Notes: In this stage, instruct participants to work in the same teams and to talk and face each other. Step 11: Review Stage 4. Notes: Conduct a similar discussion noting the impact of both verbal and visual confirmation by both partners. Note: Sometimes you will find partners having trouble because of mirroring when the right hand is opposite the left hand. Step 12: Review the entire activity. Notes: Reassemble participants into one group. Discuss the impact of incomplete communication in the work environment as it pertains to coaching and training activities. Point out that effective coaches use as many modes of communication as possible, including verbal, nonverbal, and visual cues. They also actively seek feedback to confirm understanding. If discussing training skills, note the importance of having the employee demonstrate the task to confirm understanding.

∼ 276 ∼

Activity 49


Questions you might ask: • • • •

What did you learn about the impact of nonverbal communication? What role do visual clues play in communication? What’s the relationship between what we say and what we do? How can you apply what you’ve learned on the job?

∼ 277 ∼

50

You want me to do what?

Description This activity gives participants the opportunity to develop the skills necessary to resolve conflicts that prevent coaches and organizations from achieving their goals.


describe their preferred conflict resolution style; use a four-step process for resolving conflicts; and develop a plan for resolving current conflicts.


Collaboration Consulting Listening Role of coach/mentor Setting expectations


Any Any

Time 1 hour


One copy each of Exercises 50.1 through 50.3 for each participant One copy of Handout 50.1 for each participant Pen or pencil for each participant

∼ 279 ∼

Activity 50


Method Step 1: Introduce the topic and the activity. Notes: Review the objectives. Use the following (or a similar) introduction. Effective coaches do not ignore conflict. Instead, they accept the fact that conflicts will occur from time to time. When a conflict occurs, they acknowledge it and begin to take steps to resolve it. Effective coaches know that resolving conflicts can lead to achieving better results and having a more effective organization. Step 2: Distribute Exercise 50.1 and review. Notes: Explain that there are five basic approaches to resolving conflict. This questionnaire will help participants identify the style that they are most likely to use. Allow 5 minutes to complete. Step 3: Distribute Exercise 50.2 and review. Notes: Review the five basic approaches to conflict resolution. Have participants determine which style they are most likely to use based on the questionnaire they completed. Ask if they agree or disagree with the results of the questionnaire and why. Ask participants for specific examples of coaches they have worked with who used each of the styles. Ask if these coaches were effective or ineffective. Step 4: Distribute Handout 50.1 and review. Notes: Point out the value of using the problem-solving approach. Review the problem-solving model with participants. Discuss each of the four steps. Use a conflict example supplied by one of the participants as a point of reference when discussing the steps and their applications.

∼ 280 ∼

Activity 50


Step 5: Conduct problem-solving role play. Notes: Divide participants into groups of three. Assign each person one of the following roles: • • •


Have participants use their own “real world” examples as the basis for the role plays. Have “coaches” explain a situation they need to resolve to the “employee” so that he/she can assume a realistic role. The observer should watch for the application of the four-step process. Option: You can provide prepared role plays. Step 6: Discuss the first role play. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • • • •

Was the problem solved to the satisfaction of both parties? What were the biggest obstacles in solving the problem? What made the process go smoother? What other conflict resolution styles did you see emerge? Do you think the problem has been solved long term? Why or why not? What suggestions do you have for improving the process?

Step 7: Conduct second and third role plays (option). Notes: Have participants switch roles and complete another role play. Continue until all participants have experienced each of the three roles. Step 8: Distribute Exercise 50.3 and discuss. Notes: Have participants complete the worksheet for a current conflict they want to resolve.

∼ 281 ∼

Activity 50


Step 9: Review the activity. Notes: Questions you might ask: • • • • • • • •

What are the five conflict resolution styles? Which one is preferable and why? Why is it important to acknowledge the conflict? Why is it important to discuss the conflict? What techniques can be used to agree on a solution? How can you monitor results? What did you learn that you can apply on the job? What obstacles, if any, do you face using this process?

∼ 282 ∼

Handout 50.1

Handout 50.1: Problem-Solving Approach The ability to use a prescribed method of resolving conflict that focuses on solving problems is important for effective coaches. The four-step process below can help you reduce conflict and solve problems.

1. Acknowledge the Conflict • • • •

Schedule a meeting Determine own conflict resolution style Determine other person’s style Decide to discuss the conflict

2. Discuss the Conflict • • • •

Decide what questions to ask Be prepared to listen Do you know what your point of view is? Do you understand the other person’s point of view?

3. Agree on a Solution • • •

Discuss alternatives Decide on mutually acceptable solution Decide how to implement the solution

4. Monitor Results • • •

Decide how you will verify that solution is implemented Ensure that conflict is resolved to everyone’s satisfaction Determine if anything else needs to be done


∼ 283 ∼

Exercise 50.1

Exercise 50.1: Resolving Conflict There are five generally accepted styles of resolving conflict. These styles are reflected in the statements that follow. Think about conflicts you have had in the past as you rate the statements using the following scale. 4 Always

3 Usually

2 Sometimes

1 Never

When there are conflicts, I tend to. . . 1. Ignore conflict because it will solve itself with time. 2. Be agreeable and nonassertive. 3. Believe that I must win at any cost. 4. Try to maintain good relationships. 5. Be assertive and cooperative. 6. Not do anything that might damage relationships. 7. Be cooperative, even at the expense of personal goals. 8. Prove that my position is the best. 9. Believe there is more than one good way to do anything. 10. Openly discuss mutually beneficial solutions.


∼ 285 ∼

Exercise 50.2

Exercise 50.2: Conflict Resolution Styles The five basic conflict resolution styles are described below. The numbers in the first column refer to the numbered statements on the questionnaire in Exercise 50.1. Add your points for the statements to determine which style(s) you tend to use.

Style Avoidance 1. ___________ 6. ___________

Behavior

Justification

Nonconfronting; ignores or passes over issues; denies issues are a problem

Difference too minor to worry about; attempts to solve might damage relationships

Agreeable and nonassertive; cooperative even at the expense of personal goals

Not worth risking damage to relationships or creating disharmony

Confrontational and assertive; must win at any cost

Survival of the fittest; must prove superiority and be correct

Important that all parties achieve basic goals and maintain good relationships

No one person or idea is perfect; there is more than one good way to do anything; you must give to get

Needs of both parties are legitimate and important; high respect for mutual support; assertive and cooperative

When all parties will openly discuss issues, a mutually beneficial solution can be found with major concessions

Total _________ Accommodating 2. ___________ 7. ___________ Total _________ Win/Lose 3. ___________ 6. ___________ Total _________ Compromising 4. ___________ 9. ___________ Total _________ Problem Solving 3. ___________ 8. ___________ Total _________ Reproduced from 50 Activities for Coaching/Mentoring by Donna Berry, Charles Cadwell, and Joe Fehrmann. Amherst, MA: HRD Press, 1993.

∼ 287 ∼

Exercise 50.3

Exercise 50.3: Problem-Solving Worksheet Use the worksheet to plan how you will work through a current on-the-job conflict. 1. Acknowledge the Conflict Schedule a meeting. What conflict resolution style do you want to use?

What conflict resolution style is the other person using?

What changes, if any, need to be made in either style?

Are both parties willing to discuss the conflict? 2. Discuss the Conflict What questions do you want to ask?

Are you prepared to practice active listening? What is your point of view regarding the conflict?

(Continued)

∼ 289 ∼

Exercise 50.3 (concluded) 3. Agree on a Solution What are the alternatives?

What is the mutually acceptable solution?

How will the solution be implemented?

4. Monitor Results How will you make sure the solution is acceptable?

Has the conflict been resolved to both parties’ satisfaction?

What else needs to be done at this time?


∼ 290 ∼

About the Authors Donna M. Berry is a trainer, specializing in management development, communication, and customer service skills. She has operated her own consulting firm, Training Choices, Inc., since 1986. Prior to that, Donna was employed in business and academics. She holds an MS in Adult Education from Kansas State University. Donna’s work with business and industry includes such clients as Pizza Hut, Inc., the Coleman Company, Koch Industries, Inc., the State of Kansas, and AT&T. As president of the Sunflower Chapter of the American Society for Training and Development (ASTD), Donna was instrumental in chapter revitalization. She was recently awarded the coveted ASTD Region VI Significant Contributor honor. She and her husband, Steve, reside in Wichita. Charles Cadwell is president of Training Systems+ in Mulvane, Kansas, which specializes in training system design and development. He has almost 20 years of training experience. Prior to starting his own consulting firm, he held positions as Director of Field Training for Pizza Hut, Inc., and Director of Training for Popingo Video. His client list has included national and international companies such as Pizza Hut, RentA-Center, PepsiCo Food Service International, and Burger King Corporation. Cadwell is currently past president of both the Sunflower Chapter of the American Society for Training and Development and the United Methodist Men in Mulvane. He currently serves as first vice president of Mulvane’s Lions Club. Joe Fehrmann is manager of Management Development and Training for Beech Aircraft Corporation (Wichita, Kansas). He oversees the training for 7,000 employees in craft, technical, management, and computer skills. Prior to his current position, he was director of training for Kansas Gas and Electric Company. In addition to his training and development work, Fehrmann has been involved with policy development, sales, security management, and salary administration. He is active in the United Way and the American Red Cross and serves on the board of directors of the Sunflower Chapter of the American Society for Training and Development. He is a frequent speaker on management topics for professional groups, area chambers of commerce, local colleges, and businesses. Fehrmann holds an ME in Educational Administration from Wichita State University.

∼ 291 ∼

50 Activities for Coaching-Mentoring (Berry, Cadwell, Fehrmann)

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