1-TISSUE PAPER PERSONALITY The only utility of a tissue paper is that we need not to re-use it. It is a thing that is always thrown in the waste basket after very first use. The contemporary contemporary world is producing a lot of tissue papers to make the life more rich and comfortable. Science has made immense progress in all fields of life. The amenities of life have increased increased manifold. Whatever you do involves some invention of science. Every day life has also been affected by these novel discoveries. Science has crept not only into daily life but has also made home in hearts, minds and souls. This useful invention of science -the tissue paper-has abundant similarities with human personality. Each and every thing is evaluated in terms of utility. Human feelings and emotions are in abeyance and mundane wisdom is wide spread. Whoever Whoever meets wants to exploit the other. The way of dealing with others is behavior or attitude in the eyes of psychologists. Psychologists Psychologists divide human personality into many kinds. A host of strange kinds have been added to the list of kinds of behavior and personality. Name a strange thing in this world of science, no matter to what genre it belongs to, a psychologist possesses the knack to describe it and is able to give it a name. Being a student of science I have also discovered a new type of personality. personality. Although this kind has been present there since centuries but it is being revealed in the most scientific form fist time. It is a fresh and pure category of personality that is present every every where, in all the classes of society. Either it is aristocratic, aristocratic, middle, lower middle or poor strata of societies, tissue paper is there and the personality personality also. Its inventors are from all the ages without the difference of cast, color, creed or religion. religion. The scholars of different different ages have the know-how of this personality but could not explain it in obvious terms perhaps there was no tissue paper invented at that time. We are blessed by the ever new discoveries of science, so it became very easy for us to steer clear this issue. Let us unveil this type of personality. Lo! And behold, this is the tissue paper personality, personality, the most ancient and most recent kind of personality. personality. The comparison of the tissue paper and personality personality would reveal the real characteristics characteristics of the personality.
The Tissue paper is one of the big inventions of science in many ways. It not only comes to handy on all the occasions but also has become a basis to define a personality. Wherever you are you need a tissue paper. It has achieved the status of an essential ingredient of life. The most common feature of a tissue paper is that the user always discards it after first use. Tissue paper personality has the same characteristic and the exploiter always discard it after fulfillment of his aim. It is an item to reckon with. The fast and advance human life is in need of the tissue papers either in the form of a paper or a person. As already said the beginning of this type of personality is unknown .Who was the first man who was able enough to use others and then discard them, history is silent. But hundred and thousands of examples can be quoted from the annals of the known history about it. Now a day the military rulers everywhere are the expert in using such personalities. The advanced states are in habit of exploiting the smaller and weaker nations in this manner. The bureaucracy of many countries is deft in this regard. Moreover the common man of the planet earth has become scientific and uses this discovery whenever he gets a chance, and the chance is always there because avarice and poverty are there. So tissue papers should always be used by the people who are in the capacity to buy them!!
2-SAVE US FROM QUESTION PAPERS After every semester academic affiliates face a lot of paper leafs that are called question papers. The very name of question paper made them shrink and shiver with its fear. These are an onus on the delicate dispositions of the sensitive examinees. These are thought compulsory for getting through a certain standard by the education authorities. The ease loving fellows thought them an onerous, futile and time killing activity. They considered the question paper such a thing that resembles some nightmare. They think that going through a question paper is not less than crossing river of fire. These are the basic reason behind the broken health of the young learners. They would love answering all the questions if they could understand the meaning of the words that are called question. These are a panic and phobia for them who are there in the institution to enjoy life and learn etiquettes. The question allergic learners gathered and devised a strategy to cope with this issue. They chalked out a plan to deal with the question papers. Excerpts from their manifesto about question papers are hereunder: All the participants are of the view that question papers are a hurdle in the way of their liberties, so they would try their
best to avoid this article. They would never answer the single question and if somebody would be found answering one he would be ousted from the community. All the signatories of this manifesto of liberty would go to the examination halls but just for change. Examination would be understood as a change and escape from the monotonous routine of class rooms. Although there are a lot of things involved in this conspiracy against their freedom yet the question paper would be considered as the most dangerous one. These freedom fighters solemnly declared that they would not hate anything in the world except question paper. They would ask the superintendents of exams to kindly keep that dreadful piece of paper with them. If the supervisors proved adamant enough and did not yield to their humble requests they would clutch the piece of paper from their hands as crows snatch piece of bread from a child. Examination system as a whole was not bearable for them. They agreed to fight for the abolition of examinations so that they might get rid of the question papers. They thought the question paper a cause of all their psychological disorders as frustration and dizziness. Sometime they fell unconscious on its very sight. In order to avoid such future calamities of the kind they would come out on the streets to eradicate the question paper from the examinations. They would try their best to humiliate the question paper. They would tackle the questions and question papers with the same dexterity with which the big powers deal with the third world countries especially when they had natural resources. Here are a few uses of this dictator like thing; Instead of reading it keenly, cast a cursory glance at it and keep it before eyes. Gaze at it for quite some time and then take it in hands. Fold it to make it a ruler. Use the question paper to draw border lines on the answer sheets. Fulfill all the formalities of paper solving except answering the question. Do not pollute the clean and neat mind with the words written on the sheet of a paper. Reproduce the questions one by one on the answer book. Knowledge might be acquired by reading the question paper but only in the situation when there is enough time to kill. Make the paper boat or airplane of the question paper. All the above said strategies had been employed but still the question papers are behind them. They request the authorities and the general public to kindly save them from the savage brutality of question papers. If they would not come to help them then they would be obliged to boycott the exams.
3-GENERALS AND POLITICS INTRODUCTION The third world is a part of our earth that is always in the clutches of the military generals. Almost every general in this part of the earth is ambitious to grab the highest post of the president or chief martial law administrator. But wishes do not always come true. The golden bird does not sit on the shoulders of all the generals. Only few get the chance to rule and befool the naïve public of their states. There are a lot of such generals who do not succeed in usurping the powers. There are two kinds of such generals of the third world who cannot reach their "unnatural" political boundary. 1-those who try 2-those who do not try Why these generals fail in politics, let us make a survey of the causes and effects of their failure. ATTITUDE The first and foremost reason of the defeat in the battlefield of politics is the unreasonable attitude of the generals. Many generals attempt seriously to make good. They have native ability to do so. The native ability in this connection is the military background of the general. This general finds it almost impossible to sit at a desk and concentrate on his evil designs. He cannot sit down for a long time due to some addiction or illness to ponder over the constitution. Sometimes he tries to do so, opens the book of constitution, but he is unable to decide about his abilities. He always procrastinates and the other rank fellows win the fields. He wastes his time in preparing himself to make a coup. In this way his time passes and nothing comes out in his favour. Such uncourageous habits are not easy to uproot. If the general wants to succeed he should have to eradicate such obnoxious habits otherwise he should shun all his noble designs of revolution. Although he thinks that he is trying yet he does not try. He spends a lot of time in the presence of the books of constitution but is unable to amend it in his favour. ADVISORS A common cause of failure of the generals of the third world is mistaken ambition on the part of his advisors. The toadies and humbugs are always instigate the military
chief to achieve the highest post but are not the best judge of the abilities of the general. Many generals do not show any interest in political involvement. They are absolutely not fit for this job even for their own job but are advised by his advisor to get involved in the politics. Such a general cannot overthrow the elected government. The reason behind this defeat is that he has to follow a direction mapped out by his advisor. That direction always runs counter to his interests and abilities. Such generals always earn a number of warm enemies among the advisors and politicians. Their wish of making him a stooge does not come true and they become his enemies until they succeed in overthrowing him. Such a general prefers to become ambassador or head of a lucrative department after retirement. EASYGOING FELLOWS >>Another type of a General who does not try is the very intelligent and diligent person .He has always done his duties efficiently and considers politics a child, s play. He supposes that he can float through the politics with as little effort as he did through military career. Such a general is the most pitiable person on the earth when he is pitted in the field of politics. It is almost a tragedy to see such a receptive mind wasting the entire opportunity the politics has offered to him. PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH >>The question of health both physical and mental is always one of the reasons for failure. If a proper free medical service is available in the USA or ENGLAND, the general can hold up the bridles of the administration. Moreover if proper cooperation exists between the establishment and the general he can easily make a coup. FINANCIAL RESOURCES Most of the generals want to join politics but the financial pressure is a very serious reason behind their failure. A lot of them could not find or avail opportunity to heap unlawful wealth during service. Such generals cannot succeed in their ambitions, as they can not gather timeservers around them. Such officers are unable to win sympathies of the establishment and politicians. These generals are absolutely ignored by the patrons. Moreover the generals who are cast entirely on their own resources cannot succeed because their entire income is not enough to grease the palms of the establishment. Politicians having vested interests should help them in this regard if they want to fulfil
their interests. JUDGEMENT There are a goodly number of generals whose judgement is perverted by the attraction of the motorcades and escorts of the prime ministers and presidents. So they want to overthrow them and fill up their gap. Such generals who aim at these things should shun their ideas of getting the status of a president or a prime minister .It is better for them to become chairman of a semi- governmental organisation and lead their life in comfort and luxury. POLITICS IS NOT CRICKET A large number of generals drift into politics and drift out again without serving any interests. They think that politics are just like cricket. Most of them have not found any serious interest in politics. It is usually wise to let them retire in the cold world of general public so that they might know the real and miserable condition of the public. CONCLUSION In so far as the failure is concerned it can be avoided by acting upon the guidelines provided by the former military rulers. If this is not kept in mind the failure is the fate of such generals. The advisors are advised to select the right general who follows the footsteps of his forerunners who had ruled the nation for a decade or more. It would be great service to the failing generals as well to the ignorant people who always welcome the person in the uniform.
4-IN SEARCH OF NEWSPAPERS I am a professional Editor of a great repute in search of a newspaper. I am feeling proud to offer my services for those courageous proprietors of the newspapers and journals who have covert objectives. I am sure that I would prove an asset for adventurous and materialistic owners whose sole aim is to pile up and hoard money. CAREER OBJECTIVES To achieve the zenith of fame and fortune by hook or by crook QUALIFICATIONS After doing my self designed degree of treachery, I got the doctorate of philosophy in blackmailing. My resume will reveal all the facts about me. Along with the blackmailing I got postgraduate diploma in defamation. Unscrupulousness is real proof of my worth as the chief reporter.
EXPERIENCE I have a vast experience of destroying the careers of hundreds of innocent people by demoralizing them and blaming them of corruption. I possess the extra experience of disguising myself as the noblest person on the face of the earth. I have worked as the chief reporter in the newspapers like, the Cheat, and the Fraud, which are based on the money laundering and forgery. They are the mouthpiece of the dons of mafias and chieftains of evil mongers. COMMUNICATION SKILLS I am the most communicative person in the world of journalism. I know all the communication skills except expressing the good thoughts. The language that I often use is not bearable for a person of morality. The most abusive tongue I keep in my throat and use it deftly. The favorite skill of mine is to badger the listeners and readers. I always monkey with the affairs of my journal or newspaper. VISITS ABROAD I feel myself the luckiest person as I often live abroad. Each and every government has declared me as the persona non- grata. In this way not only my visit is arranged but also expedited and facilitated. My own country has banned my entrance. RESEARCH AND PUBLICATIONS Although I have not published precious gems of my personal experience yet I have made a lot of research. There are new and novel methods of bluffing blackmailing and castigation, which I have invented. These can not be told openly because these are my business secrets. Anyhow, if selected I would gladly share them with your organization. SPORTS AND GAMES I consider forgery cheating and blackmailing as sports but money laundering is my favorite game. DEMANDS I DO NOT WANT ANY SALARY OR OTHER BENEFITS EXCEPT PRESS CARD.IT WILL PAVE THE WAY FOR ME TO THE FORTUNES ITSELF. ADDRESS I have no permanent address because I am always under the process of deportation
5-MILLION DOLLARS GAME The United Nations Organization has announced its millennium development goals and has abbreviated them as MDGs.My friend who is a finance minister of a third world country is very happy. He has told me that all the ministers of our region are very glad over this development. His happiness seemed natural to me as all the third world states lack financial resources. I joined him in his pleasing moments and asked a question.
Why are you so happy sir? He looked at me as he wanted to say that I am a damned fool and do not know even the alphabet of the development. He asked me to repeat the question. I did so. Then he burst into laughter and took me to a side. I was awestruck and was looking into his face like a fool. He jubilantly told me in a loud tone that he is happy over the right decision of the UNO. This world body has always come to handy whenever we lack in monetary resources. We are obliged greatly to this organization which is always helpful to us. I agreed with him wholeheartedly. I also said that this institution was set up for the very purpose of helping the poor and needy nations. The founders of this organization are worthy of worship, he chimed. I was astonished over his exaggeration and again asked the cause of his chuckles. He started eulogizing the secretary general and the planning division of the UNO. He replied that the secretary general of the UNO was especially interested in this program .His son was on the back of all this planning and we the finance ministers of the developing countries all backed him to finalize this program before the election of the new secretary general. He was wise enough and understood our restlessness about MDG, s as he also belonged to a third world country. Now we are very hopeful that we shall be able to form next government too. I guessed myself that he was imagining the developmental works in his country and in this way his public would appreciate their government. It may become a source of getting vote for the next tenure. His joy knew no bonds when he was told that the UNO has selected their country in the first phase. He embraced me and expressed his joy and happiness by dancing and divulging the interjection Yahoo! I was very much impressed by the devotion of my minister for the country and could not help praising his loyalty and patriotism. I unconsciously said that he was the person country needed .He offered thanks to me and went away. I was relishing the deliciousness of his emotions about the dear homeland when he came back to me. He was holding a folder and was smiling without any reason. This first phase of the funds will consolidate our position and we shall win the elections he once again told me. I agreed with him by nodding my head in yes. That was the last session of the conference and we were to return the same day. We embarked the aero plane together and had our seats side by side. In a strange fit he whispered me that this fund would be enough for the many coming generations of our families. I was more entangled in the web of the foolishness and impulsively asked him how? He replied that you would also get your share this time because you were sent by the state and is eyewitness of the delivery of the funds. Nobody can devoid you of your share this time. If any body would try to become an obstacle in your way I would
personally deal with him. Curiosity made me to ask about the share He told me that the funds which are disbursed for our country are like our personal wealth. We are going to divide them among ourselves and you are our equal partner. But these funds are meant for the Millennium development goals set forth by the UNO. O innocent man! What should I say to you except fool? These are the MDG, s. I have also said the same thing sir? But your meanings are different from mine. Do you know what do we mean from MDG, s? No, Sir? Million Dollars Game, understand?
6-WIFE O WIFE There are many things in this world that cannot be described in clear terms, wife is one of them. She always blows hot and cold. She has mercury like qualities but here we are concerned with his structure or anatomy. Wife is a living creature. She has two hands and two feet. She uses her hands to throw the household utensils on her husband. Sometimes she hurls iron forks and even heavy things on him .she uses her feet to go on shopping and attending functions. She is often seen at the shopping centers however you can see her in house too when she invites her friends to show them the obedience of her husband. It has two eyes that contain a fluid which she keeps on overflowing from her eyes. These are called tears but in fact these are borrowed from the crocodiles. This fluid works as a catalyst to convince the so called husbands. It has two ears that are used to hear the backbiting of the neighbors or the close relatives of the husband. This is a creature that has more interest in necklace than her children. She has a heart or emotions that are only for her parents. All the various branches of her heart lead to her parent's home. It has strongest digestive system in this world as it gnaws at the salary of her husband within no time. Its favorite dish is the meal prepared by her husband. Grabbing Salary is the favorite pastime and pretension of fidelity is her favorite snobbery. She has pair of scissors like piece of flesh that is called the tongue. This scissor keeps on and keeps on and never tired. It cuts to the quick her husband's feelings and never felt qualms of conscience. This is the only creature that does not use brain but tongue for thinking purposes too. This creature is more allergic from the family of the husband especially the brothers and sisters of his husband. She feels happy when she is among her friends. The very presence of her husband is the most annoying sight for her eyes. If you
want to suffocate her, keep her in the house for some days. She feels like fish out of water in the last days of the month, when she can not go out for shopping. It is never tried of back biting and shopping. If you want her see laughing, you would have to wait for the paydays. She laughs, coax and cajole her mate only for one day and that is the payday. She has great affinity for wealth and backbiting. This anatomy is not of a specific wife but all the wives who possess a husband. The social scientists have accepted defeat and have confessed that they are not able to alter the characteristics of a wife.
7-CROWS AND CUCKOOS ( MEDIA PROFILES ) INTODUCTION Cuckoo of the human world, the influential class and the crow, the common man are fighting with each other for gaining the upper hand. But it is the common lot of the crow that he is doomed forever. Cuckoo has the knack to camouflage itself according to the need of the time.
ALL PRAISES FOR THE CUCKOO Cuckoo is a bird that is the most acclaimed in the bird community as well human beings. almost all the poets of nature are "affected" and" afflicted" by it. Its voice lures them and they are lost in world of fantasy. Some call it dream bird others call it a mystery. It reminds them of their childhood as well as their love. They wish to sing and enjoy with the zeal and zest of the cuckoo. Some even want to become this very bird to get the same fame and liberty like that of cuckoo. THE REAL CHARACTER OF THE CUCKOO unfortunately they are not aware of the rascal habits of the bird. They are unaware of the deceitful nature of the cuckoo. They are engrossed in the beautiful voice of the bird. They are lost in the songs of cuckoo and can not pay any attention to understand its true character. They are unable to comprehend the conspiracies hatched by the bird. Cuckoo is always hiding its cruel deeds in its voice. It is just like today's media. THE POOR CROW On the other hand crow is notorious bird. He is always wandering here and there in search of loaf of bread. It is always on the way to snatch piece of food from any creature of the world. It is disregarded and displaced from every where in the world. It is considered as the ugliest of birds. Many writers of great fame have rejected the
crow and have symbolized it as the crook and clever world. They have condemned its very voice. They have shown a great derogation for the bird. They have treated it as general public of the poor countries. BLUNDER OF JUDGEMENT The people who applaud the cuckoo are ignorant of its hideous nature. On the other hand those who defame the crow are absolutely wrong. I am afraid that I cannot agree with the common opinion about the crow. I have arguments of my own. I am against the hackneyed opinion about the poor creature the crow. Those who have generalized the cuckoo as a bird of good omen and bird of dreams are false. The facts are on the opposite side of their theory. Have a close look on the living styles of both the birds and then decide the matter. STORY OF THE BIRDS Cuckoo and crow are enemies of each other. The animosity began due to the jealousy. He was the first bird that appeared on earth. He thought that he was the first bird who obliged the humankind. He was not wrong because he told the human being the way of burying the dead. Crow was a resourceful bird. He was thought the wisest of all. He was respected and obeyed by all the birds. His rule continued for a long time. That made him haughty and vain. He started insulting the other birds.
Then came cuckoo on the scene who was a singing bird .He was assigned the task to entertain the birds and humans by its songs. He was performing the duties well when one day the crow insulted him. Crow was duped to the pelf and pow3er.he was also proud of his past glory. He made a pun at the cuckoo. Cuckoo was well aware of the manners of the courts as well as the courtiers .The bird devised a plan to take revenge from the crow. Such a cunning revenge was taken that lasted forever. The cuckoo started eating the eggs of the crow and laid her eggs at their place. The crow unaware of the fact had been hatching the eggs of the cuckoo. When offspring came out the cuckoo sang sweet songs and brought the offspring away with her. In spite of a lot of struggle the crow could not save himself from the bad clutches of the cuckoo. CONCLUSION
Whenever the crow (the common person) tried to present his case before the king, the cuckoo started singing and lured the king. The king could not hear the case. Same is the case with us the humans. The cuckoos are affluent and resourceful those have access to the authorities or themselves are authorities. The hue and cry of the crow is not heard in the noise of sweet songs of cuckoo of the wealth and authority. The man who calls a spade a spade is made crow to wander here and there .He is always devoid of fame, fortune and even shelter.
8-BRAVO A diligent student was asking his fellow student about the exam. The answer was that he had prepared for the exams completely. He had got all the necessary things for exams. He has hired an expert invigilator who will guide him throughout the exams. Moreover he had bought new shoes and clothes for the exams also. I do not know the situation of the advanced countries but I know the Indo -Pak students. Our future asset is striving hard to touch the sky. To reach the zenith of excellence is the only motive behind their struggle. In spite of the great burden of the exam they do not forget to maintain their personality. They are never disheartened or disappointed by the failure or defeat. They just carry on their studies and wait importunately for the exams. I know a lot of student who are haunted by the exams. They prepare for the exam whole the year by selecting the combination of clothes and shoes. There are laborious fellows who collect the new articles for wearing and tearing for the exams. They study but the latest fashions and crazes. a lot of girls prepare for exams by purchasing and sewing new clothes. I heard a lady who was asking her mother that she was going to be examined next week, but she does not possess eight pair of clothes .there were eight paper and she lacks two pairs. She was requesting her mother when her mobile phone yelled a loud tune of the latest movie. She attended the phone and her fast friend was on the other end. She asked her about the preparation of exam. Her first question was about the quantity and quality of the outfits. The lady replied her in disappointing voice that she lacked two. From that I guessed that the real preparation was the collection and choice of outfits. Nobody wants to discus s the syllabus. All and sundry were discussing about the preparation of exams but without mentioning the books or syllabus. I was astonished to remember my times when the dress was of secondary nature books were preferred. I stopped wondering on knowing that the dear students were fully equipped with the syllabus and books. They have complete micro copies of books with them. They have discovered novel ways to solve the papers. They were genius enough and were using the advancement of science and technology to get their
aims. New dress daily for the new paper and use of new techniques were the latest methods in the madness for the exams. Bravo!! Dear students carry on...
