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backwards and forwards, she would be so ve&ed and discouraged, and would look so unhappy, that it gave me pain to see her bright face clouded $and for me/$and # would go softly to her, and say- %!hat%s the matter, Dora*% Dora would look up hopelessly, and reply, %)hey won%t come right. )hey make my head ache so. "nd they won%t do anything # want/% )hen # would say, %0ow let us try together. Let me show you, Dora.% )hen # would commence a practical demonstration, to which Dora would pay profound attention,, perhaps for five minutes2 attention minutes2 when she would begin begin to be dreadfully tired, and
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would lighten the subject by curling my hair, or trying the effect of my face with my shirt$collar turned down. #f # tacitly checked this playfulness, and persisted, she would look so scared and disconsolate, as she became more and more bewildered, that the remembrance of her natural gaiety when # first strayed into her path and of her being my child$wife, would come reproachfully upon me2 and ? would lay the pencil down, and call for the guitar. # had a great deal of work to do, and had many an&ieties, but the same considerations made me keep them to myself. # am far from sure, now, that it was right to do this, but # did it for my child$wife%s sake. # search my breast, and # commit its secrets, if # know them, without any reservation to this paper. )he old unhappy loss or want of something had, # am conscious, some place in my heart2 but not to the embitterment of my life. !hen # walked walked alone in the fine fine weathe weather, r, and thought of the summer days when all the air had been filled
with my boyish enchant enchantment, ment, # did miss somethin something g of the
realiation of my dreams2 but # thought it was a softened glory of the +ast, which nothing noth ing could have thrown thrown upon the present present time. # did feel feel,, sometimes, sometimes, for a litt little le while, that # could have wished my wife had been my counsellor2 had had more character and purpose, to sustain me and improve me by2 had been endowed with power to fill up the void which somewhere seemed to be about me2 but # felt as if this were an unearthly consummation of my happiness, that never had been meant to be, and never could have been.
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may have done much, # did it in mistaken love, and in my want of wisdom. # write the e&act truth. #t would avail me nothing to e&tenuate it now. )hus it was that # took upon myself the toils and cares of our life, and had no partner in them th em.. !e li live ved d mu much ch as be befo fore re,, in re refe fere renc nce e to ou ourr sc scra ramb mbli ling ng ho hous useh ehol old d arrangements2 but # had got used to those, and Dora $# was pleased to see $ was seldom ve&ed now. ;he was bright and cheerful in the old childish way, loved me dearly, and was happy with her old trifles.
