Stoppard, Tom - On the Razzle (Samuel French, 1982)

On the Razzle by om oppard Adapted fom Ee Fux wl e ich mache by oha Netoy

ML F,  45 WEST 25TH TREET 7623 USET BULEVARD



NW YOK  OYWOO 



Copyrght�

8 8 by Tom Sopprd

 AU, RIGHTS RERVD CA70N: Professionals and amateurs are hereby waed that ON H RAZZL is  sujec  su jectt t a ryalty. ryal ty. It is fully ful ly prtected under u nder the cpyrigh cpyr ightt ls of the nited nite d tats f  America  America the BritiJh BritiJh mmnwealth includin including g anada anada and all other cuntrie cuntrie of the opyright nion All rights including prfesinal amateur motion picture recitatin leturing public reading radi broadcating television and the right of transla tion into foreig langages are strictly reserve In its present form the play is dedi cated to the reading pulc nly Te amaeur live stage peormance rights t ON H AZZL are contrlled excluively by muel French Inc and ryalty arrangements and licenses must be  sered well in advance of presentation A NO that amateur royalty fees are et upn applicatin in accrdance w1th your producing circumstances en applying  fr a royalty qutation and licee p/eae give us the number f prmances in tended dates f production yur seating cacity and admissin fee Royalties are  payable ne week week befo before re the opening permanc of the play play to mue muell French Inc at 45  25th treet N' Yrk NY 10010; or at 7623 unet Blv llywd A 9006 r to amuel rench (ana) t /00 mbard treet lwer level ornto  Ontario anadaM anadaM M3 Royaly f the required amount mut be paid whether the pl is preented for charity r gain and whether r not admissin is charge tock ryalty quoted upn applcation t muel rench Inc or all other rights other than thse stipulated above apply to Peters rasier & unlp  House 4 Ruell treet ondon W28 HA ngland Partilar emphasis is laid n the questn of amateur or profeinal readings  permiin and terms for which must be sered in i n writing frm muel French Inc opying frm this bk in whle or in part is strictly frbidden frbidden by law and the right of peormance is ntransferable enever the pl is prduced the fllowing ntice mst appear on all prgrams  printing and advertiing for the play "Produced by special arrangement with muel French Inc  ue authrship credit must be given on all prgrams printing and adveising for the pl ISBN 85

ned n U.SA

#5

No one sha commit or uhorze y ct or omsson by whc he copygh of or the righ o copyght, hs play may  mpared No one sh make ay changes n ths py or the pose o pcton Pbcton of ths py ds no mpy avaaby or oce Both mes and  trngl y advsed n her own neress o proessos onsdering a rcton e  trngly appy o Sme French nc, o wen sson oe stng ehersas dversng o okng a thee. No  o hs k k my  eprced stoed n a reeva sysem o o rnsmed n any o by ny means now known or ye o  nvented ncdng mechanca eecronc photopyng ecordng deotpng or othese wthot the pro wten msson o he pbshe

CHARACERS WEINBEL CHISOPHE SONDE MAIE ZANGLE GEU BELGIAN FOEGNE FOEGNE MELCHIO HUPFE PHILIPPINE MADAME KNO MS FISCHE COACHMAN WAIE ONE WAIE WO GEMAN MAN EMAN WOMAN WOMAN SCOS MAN SCOS WOMAN CONSABLE LISEE MISS BLUMENBLA AGAMUFFIN PIPE CIIZENS WAIES CUSOMES EC

n th azzl was st performd on 1 September 1981 at the Roya Lyceum Theae, Edinbgh as p of h 81 Enburgh Internaonal Fval d opened to the press on  Sepember 1981 at the Lyttelton heae. The cas cluded:

WENBEL CHISTOPHE SONDES MAIE ZANGLE GETUD  FOEIGNE MELCHIO HUPFE LGHTNING PHLIPPINE MADAME KNO FAU SCHE COACHMAN TALAN WAITE GEMAN COUPLE SCOTTSH COUPLE SECOND WATE CONSTABLE AULEN BLUMENBLAT LSETTE Direced b Per Wo Deigd b Cr s

Ray Broks eci Kenda Barry McGn My Chon insale Landen Hda Brad Pa Gregory Michael chen John Chas hoas Hnty and mothy Hc Aysn ees osemy McHale Deborah Nrton Har ce on Chis ers Cdg Cde G Greta Wsn  Cbr ii b A Hy  Hicks ie 

INRDUCIN On h Ra i an aapaon of nn Jx   ch machn y Johann No (802) ho oihe a a coc ao  paigh in Vienna ing he 840 an '5 No oe eigh-o pa a han o hich ae i ega peoe in ha ci e hi o o ohe hae ha a ea one eia in he Gean-peaking heae ince he Secon Wo Wa I i  a a Vienee iing fo Viene ha hi fae e fo hi eccenc a h gage a hi ieion in Vieee iaec gie paia h o he aeion of one ciic ha Neo i nanaae een ino Gean hi ex i no an co no e aee a anaon  he ain chaace an o of he po coe fo Neo  ao none o he ioge aep o oe a anaon o ha No oe M eho gh e copae o co-con hikng ih ap a copa hee one ake a eaing on he nex anak an pick one on a oa i No a a aiica an ea oageo an ofen ne on a oca efeence He ao ike o ince coic ong eeen cene On h Ra ake no e o iae igno peio ao in iaoge an ha no ong  i  e in Viea (hogh ao f ea ae han nn]x  no enia o he o enia hich hi pa ke fo he oigina ae  he ao hic ae of o cony ce ecaping o on o a a of iici feeo aene hap an nao ecape fo icoe; a econ he pi cocen o ake he ae a coic an eneaien a poie Haing no Gean I a inee o Neie an Sephen Paice ho pepae a coe iea anaon fo e a he eqe o he Naion heae a ho ggee he ie o Pee Woo ho iece he Naiona heae poco i oe he

7

id f ringing  n rin f nnJx fr  Dn   h Bnk   n rin c r i rd  crd  n rnn Widr h Macha  i n i n! dn n i f Wir p n nc  D!  ) i n pin f nn Jx n  dcrd i  rn  hr Nr p kng  prp in ringing  p fr   nnn cc r in h Engih hr  d k  ph  f r   n rrn  Jx i i cnrcing  cin gr) r   h p hich Pr Wd  n  d rcd   ic i nind  cn Wir prn ich r h Macha    gnr nd r ignid  f  rigin hn  inn i fhr hi dpin f  p  rr r fr hn nhng  hd in ind r xp D i h chkr f h  i Wdr n innin   r f  hp   drnc n h      gr  h irii nd  On h Ra if n n  ni iin   cnn f pin in Engi fr nn Jx w  ch achn i    c n TOM STOD

8

AUHRS E Athoh thi text ike the t edition i in to act the oigina podction a done ih o intemiion he midde act begining ith The Jone to Viea and ending ith the etat Scene.

AC E Zngr hop n which cutomr r rvd with gr pnch  R nd CHSTO MA i th chir in  gidd cg Odfhiond prngodd cnitr trv on wir twn th c nd th countr. A chut divr  rg ck of our from up ov to   poition hind R countr hr   trp door to  cr SONDS incognito, i mong th cutomr A town cock chim th hour. Cutomr r ng uhrd out  CHSTO SONDS rmin Shop coing for unch. Zngr room cn occup th tg with th hop th ction ing twn th two ZANGL nd GTUD ZANGL i uu workd up  no. GTUD nvr i ZANGL My tair ha t m dn agan GTUD Y, I can  ZANGL N, yu damd l cat Im rrrng t my n urm hich hant arrivd yt, ad tday i th gd aua paad ith th mad band  h Spg d Bnvnt Scti  th Grcr Cmpany It nugh t mak n burt a braturt Il l uch a l Thr Il b, pridntct ad hnrary pprin  th Frind  th Opra Fu and Far Club, t m ir  th Jhan Strau Mmria Sld  duckhtng, ad I hav t appar br th pubic in my d rm Prhap Id bttr nt g ut at . That rtuhutr Sndr i ar my d GTUD My rd ANGL My ard! I nt rt ay un Mar i y u  hi rach N, dnt rgt, M uggag i t b nt ahad t my itrinla,  Bumnblatt at 

wentytee rsasse GUD Mss Blumenblatts. ZANGL What s the address GUD Twentythree Clsasse ZANGL What s t? GUD Twentythree rlsasse. ZANGL Very well. Mare n stay wth her until Sonders nds some othe nnocent girl to pursue, and furthermore t  stop the lte slut from chasng after hm Im damned sure theyre sendg messages to each other but I cant work out how they're dong t Zng! n th hopn cod chcntr ng ong th wr to MA n hr gdd cg

Zngr hop h hop  cod WINL nd CHSOH r nt SONDS h hddn h nt th cntr ZANGL  on to hm ZANGL Sonders! MA Uncle! SONDS Herr Zangler! ZANGL Unhand my foot, sr! SONDS I love your niece! ZANGL Outrgd My knees, sr Mod Oh, my nic Outrgd Well, my nece and I are not to be prsed apt so easy, and nor are hers, I hope I make m meanng clear SONDS Mare must be mne! ZANGL Never! She s a star out of thy mament Sonders! I am a Zangler, proson merchant to te beaumode, top board for the Cheesemongers and number three n the Smll Bore Club. SONDS Onl ee? ZANGL Do you suppose Id let my arede be hounded up  andm heress be mounted up  and bnk by a uehound-be ed t and hounded by a mounteba?! Not for  te tea n Cna! Wel, I ght

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for  the te in Chn or the rice-no thts ridiculous the preserved ginger then-no lets s hlf the te he ginger  shipment of shkn soup doubledscounted just to te it o our hnds ONDR All ou tnk bout is mone! ZANGLR l  th bout is mone! As fr s m concerned n n o interferes ith m Mrie ight s ell ve hs hnd in m til! ONDR  ke no secret of the fct tht  m not the eminn  grs of Orientl trde but  hve expetions and no outstnding debts (A man,  ORGNR, visb in th strt starts knokng on th shop door. MAR ha mrgd from hr cg nd gos to da with it) ORGNR Grus Grott! H nts and shaks hands a round ZANGLR Were closed for lunch Wht expeons? ORGNR Enshulgen! ZAGLR Closed! OGNR Mein eren! c nct ein custoer   ZANGLR Wht did he s? R  dont no Uncle  think hes  foreigner ORGNR Gut orgengeshstttensie-bitte shorn-de shorn   ZANGLR Were closed! Open to ocloc! OGNR ch comen looen nden Herr Sonders ZANGLR Here! Snders  ORGR Herr Snders? ZANGLR No th Sonders ORGNR Herr Sonders? ch hben ein docuent ZANGLR Hes  creditor ORGNR Herr Snders  ZANGLR No debs eh? OGNR; J-dett!ONDR Nein nein- bus Comen bcen in the orgen ONDR shrs th OGNR ot o th shop. Th ORGNR is  at a lga mssngr who has om om Blm to aon th ath o ONDR rih at H sds n this davo at th nd o th pay ZANGLR  tought ou sid ou hd no debts! 3

SONDS No otstanding debtsrnofteml debts I may ave I probably overlooked my ater1 wo s a bt sor. Bt as for my epeaons Herr Zangler I ave te onor to nform yo tat I ave a rc ant n Brssels. ZANGLE A rc ant n Brssels! I reel, I toer, I am roted from te eld! A rc ant n Brsselsm standng ere  my bons done d e as a rc an n Brssels SONDE: Ses gong to leave me al er money ZANGLE Wen s at? SONDES: Wen se's dead, of cose ZANGLE Lsten I know Brssels Yo ante wll be sng p n bed n a lace cap wen Belgm prodces a composer. SONDES I ope so becase we se lv I know se' make me a lberal allowance ZANGL A libera allowance!? How mc s tat n Brssels? I'm afrad I never do bsness on te bass of grandloqent conage and n te lecon of te fase prospects a lberal alowance s te apa and o my God ow many mes do I ave to tell yo?I wll not alow my ward to go o and marry abroad. SONDS Ten Il say ere and mry er  tat's yo wont ZANGLE: And meanwe n Brssels your nerance wll be eaten to te bone by codcls leng my wont wat pon er  lke te poor cat w te addock SONDES Te wat? ZANGL Look to te ant! Don't waste yo me moonng and skng ond my empormIm sendng Me away to a secret addrs were yo  never nd er, sc ow yo  ( GTUD h h ntd ith ZANGLE's d ) Wat s t?! GTUD Twenytee Carlstrasse Mss Blmenblatts. NDES Twentyree Carlsrasse  ! Mss Blmenblat's! ZANGL (Sptting o old-yo stpdGUD Sold I let Mare ave te new travelng se? ZANGL ld baggage! GTUD Not e new traveng case   . SONDE (Laving) My mble respes   

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GE: H is yu old unifm And  nw svan as d SOE:  sv ma! GEU His SO o)  G :  ang ld fol w askd yo o on y big m GEU: ou us.   ll. G: W i Mai GE Ss upais ying on  Scs avlling ou you go  ca om yu fcy. GE: My f? My c A pabl widow and  Madam f Mad os Fasion Hous GE:  oug as muc-so is a boal. GE: o i isn d you nv is a a and coa so! w g ou ad snd   nw sva And don l Mai ou f yu sig f s and Sondrs xchg s muc as a glanc w m gon l pu you on cabbag wa  yo c ass i back ino  suppo wiou knowig  dnc (xit GERU This lac is bgining  los is cc f m  bsid  mcal ad f hs aris lk a colossus, and un a baclo sablsmn scond o nn as fa as  y cn s nd m suoundd by vilag idos and nncmpn  oops of vy sip. s  upll suggl rying  insl a lil on ino is lac (hr is  kck o th door) En (hr   kck o th door) (rio) Cm in (t ECIOR CIO Excus m, ar you  spkpr, my rd AGE ou do m o much honu and no nough  am Hr Zangl prvyo of highcass povisions CIOR  undsand you a in dspa nd of a san ZANGER You undsand og rs no shoag f s lk you, oy of mss ik m o g h giu mplymn



CHIOR Thats classc. And very rue. A good servt will keep for years, whle masters lke you are beng runed every day. Hows busness by the way?gy provisonal, I ust? AGER You ske me as rather mpernent CIOR I was just takng shop Pease dsregard t as the nexperence of blushful youth, as the poet sad. AGER Do you have a reference? CR No, I just read t somewhere. AGER Have you got a esmonia? ECHIOR Produn  tttr pp) I have sr. And ts a cassc, f I sa so myse. AGER Do you have y eperence n the eld of med merchandse? CHIOR Detely, Im always ng t. AGER Wel, I must say I have never seen a testmon lke t. CHIOR Its just a b ceased thats al. AGER Honest ndustrous, enterprsng ntelgent, responsbe, cheerful, magnave, wtty welspoken modest, n a word classc . . . ECHIOR When do you want me to start? AGER ust a moment, arent you forgetng the ntervew? ECHIOR So I am-how much are you payng? AGER S glders a week ncludng laundry. CHIOR I dont do laundr. AGER I mean the houekeeer  wash your sts. CHIOR Thats classc I lke to be clean. AGER And board, of course. ECHIOR Clean d bored. AGER And lodgng. CHIOR  and bored and lodgng AGER l ncluded. ECHIOR Ah board and lodgng How about sharng a bed? AGER I won't countenance mmoralty. CHIOR O bed. As for the bod, at my last place t was groanng t to bust the neghbours used to bang on the walls AGER I assure you, no one goes hungry here: soup beef, puddng, a the trmmings.

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LCHIOR: Clss.  lws hv o t m bkfst. ZANGLER: t hs v b th stom  fo th st to hv o. LCHIOR: You wouldnt lk m to d lquo fom th stok. ZANGL: C ot. LCHIOR:  shoud p to vod th tmpto. ZANGLER: m gd to h t MELCHIOR: Ad th. ZANGLER : ht l  ou do  good ob . . o th. MELCHIOR: om th pot ZANGLER Ad lbd. LCHOR s tht s o o ZGLER: Y. MELCHIOR: Souds lss. s th hg ls ou wntd to sk m ZANGLER: o  . .  dot  so. MLCHIOR: l tht sms stsfo. You wot t ths s hv lws ptd wth m mpos o th bt o tms. ZANGLER: You hv v b skd MELCHIOR: Thl s but ol   hv lt t b ow b subtl gl o m du tht th job hs  s ous. ZANGLER: Thts v osdt LCHIOR:  dot lk to us o b gvg ot-  svt t looks pumptuous. ZANGLER: Tht shows modst. LCHIOR: Yo humbl st s. ZANGLER: Ys  ght. LCIOR: Clss! ZANGLER: Onl oull hv to stop usg tht wodts spd. LCHOR: hs othg stupd out th wod. ts just th w so popl us t wthout dso. ZANGLER: Do th LCHIOR: Oh s. ts bsolutl ss. t  m dus ZANGLER: You duts  th duts o  svntTo b wth ou n mk m od unom look l w-d  ht tlo shows hs  tl hm to go to hl. (Ent tio, PER. PER bing t im ZANGLER ne

17

nom on a tailor dmmy h coml ig-o incld a diclo hat wih fah c, olihd iding boot with moo hining and y adibl , and h nom i which i to ha with gold bto and baid c. ahr aing or holt fo kn gn� wod .  . h gna ct i ing and mical. h  nom i bigh than h old which i bigh. h ailor i only onibl fo h cloh h t of th  i alady in th oom) HFER Here we arthe masterpiece is ready ZANGLER: You managed it my dear Hupfer! In the nck of time MELCHIR Go to hell ZANGLER Shut up MELCHIR (o h dmy) Shut up! R Well with the help of two journeyman tailors I have done the impossiblelet me help you into it MELCHIR Too small HUFER (act to MELCHIR I see you have a new servant, Herr Zangler ZANGLER (hfl) Oh yes I woke up ths morng feeling like a new man So I got one FER: Trousers LCHIR Too ght HUFER ( di) Hes a personal servant is he ZANGLER Yes he is a bit but I lie to give yout a chance and then I lie to ck it down the stairs if it doesnt watch its lip MELCHR: I worked for a taor once. I cooked his goose for him. HFER There we are MELCHIR Everything went well unl I got cofused and oosed hs coo ZANGER Pay aention You may learn sometng MELCHIR After that he got a valet stand ZANGER Youll see how a trouser should t    ecept its a bit ght isnt i (t i mo han a bi tigh) HUFER Snug ZANGER Snug Id be in trouble if I nelt down. I n of my nupals



HUPFER It he preng. ZANGLER Excty. I dont want them preed HR ry the tnic ZANGLER I le the roggg HUFER C we pleae keep our mind on he tunic. Now et me help you ZANGLER It omewhat ontcted, e. HUFER ht he tye. ZANGLER But it tg me de them e btton  y o when  it do ad   breathe HUPFER It a uom it i not uppoed to be a nighth ZANGLER I dont undertnd it You took m meaurement LCHIOR Wel ht expi t I God hd been a tailor thered be o ad a h eet to the yard d he word woud oo ie a teecornered ht  ZANGLER d it' a day ate. MELCHIOR And it would hve been  d te Wed al be o an eghtdy week ZANGLER Shut p MELCHIOR  th dummy) Shut p. ZANGLER I uppoe it wil hve to do t a pinch How do I ook? MELCHOR Id rther not y. ZANGLER I order ohow do I ook? MLCHOR Clic ZANGLER Shut up! MLCHOR  HUPFER Shut up! HUPFER You dre to et your ervant pe to me e t? MELCHOR In the lvery o the Zanger I am no m minion. ZANGLER hat wel aid What ou ne? MELCHIOR: Melchior ZANGLER Melcior, throw ti mn ot HUPFER: Don touch me You, i reive yor mearement rom nature he tailor t i to interpre th to o bet advnge nd move the btto ater. M humble repe I  leave my bill MELCHIOR htin th dummy at HUPFER Oh no ou wont youl te him wth o Exit HUPFER with dummy.)

9

at should I do next? ZANGER: There's a oah leaving or town n ve mnutes I want ou to be on it CHIOR: It's been a pease I usua get a week's mone ZANGER: No, no, m dear ellow, I want ou to go to Venna and engage a prvate room at the Bak and hte Chop House Order a good dnner or two and wait or me there MECHIOR: er or two, wat or ou there ZANGER Tel them it's a eebrationoaming tankards-old meats-piklespotato saadpum dumplngs    MECHIOR: ou'll spo me ZANGER: It's not or ou I'm entertang m ane to a birthda dier MECHIOR:  prevous engagement? M ongratulaons, Herr Zanger ZANGER: Thank ou She's the Madame o Madame Knorr's Fashon House ou a know t MECHIOR No, but I think I know the pano paer ZANGER: It's a hat shop in nnagasse O ourse she's a mineress n her own rght CHIOR: Enough said And the shop on top ZANGER: No, she's on top o the shop hat are ou takng about? CHIOR: I don't know ZANGER: I'm going to take her to dnner and name the da ou an epe me ater the parade MECHIOR: Are we aveing together? ZANGER: No, I an't be in a hurr, I'm havng oube wth m nee MECHIOR It's the uorm ZANGER : No, t's the Casanova narnate Marie s ver vunerabe I she so muh as sets oot outsde the door she's gong to ath t om me MECHOR: How ong have ou had t? ZANGER: No I mean the on Juan MECHOR: as he had t? ZANGER: I don't thnk so She's in her room tng on her Sosh getup CHIOR: I'l work t out later

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AGER r l I m hr unl MECHIR I'v workd it out AGER I snt  pkn with   n s ointt MCHR I tk  sw hi lv AGR Now hrs so ony to th th oh CHR Ct I t th rst of yor st? AGER Thr s't tmDo you udrstd y rqirmts? MCHR Prftly AGER Rpt th MCHR Cth th oho strht to th Impril Grdns Cfprivt dnnr for two hpn on   AGER Nononth Blk d Wht Chop Hous MECHR Sir I b you to osdr d orr is  won of th world sophsttd drssd to h nin wth  h to knok your y ot nd n y to knok yo ht oYou wnt to win hr dn hr nd nam h dy Now dos tht sst to you  fon tnrd nd  plt of old ts in th old Blk nd Whit? AGR (Slghtly puzzld Ys it do Wht r you tt t? MCHR d Knorr is not just nothr husu Fson is hr ddl n AGR or or lss Knorr Fshon HousI n I s wht you mn  Th Ipril Grdns Cf is  fshionbl p is it MCHIR Its t only pl for th qlty t th omnt AGER Th qulity   Ar you sur it is qut rnd MCHR Rnd? Th plohmn's lnh is six oystrs nd  r d th frpp AGER I s  wll prhps jst tis on MCHR Lv it to m sirhpn-lobstrrost folbrthdy k AGER Pklduplins  MECHR And to nsh o to t hr in th ood AGER Prhps w should hv MCHR Tgthr A  botl of th hd stu AGR MECHR (Lavg Shnpps (Cah h AGER  puts  th rst  hs ut bts hat t

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ZANGL We, a eem  g J e cke  cla Wy do I ave a ene of mpenng dae? (e eets) Snde  ae my nece and a dcoveed e ee ade wee I am endng e o e afe keepng of my enlaw  Bmenba, wo a neve lad eye on hm, o, fo a mae, on Mae ee nce e wa a baby-whle I ave o lve my bne n e cge of my aan d an appence, and follow my new ev, wom I aven ad me o nodce o anyone, o own o jon e pade d ake my ce o dnne n a fahonae eaan n a nom I c  own n ne e moe an we col ave a fce on o and (e ets.)

angle' shop he shop s losed fo lunch WNBE ocupes t lke a gentleman of lesue e s wi"ng a lete at the count e has a ga and a glass of wne CHISHE s a the doo leadng o he est of he houe e s holdng a boom, he ndeeatype of boom, not a yad boom CSTHE e gone (e jons WENBEL and s oeed a glas hee s also a ja of ollmops o hand) A, ank yo, M enbel (WNBL connues to wite t CSTs poson on the counte hee s a stack of to pages fom newspapes used hee fo wappng puposes CHST lea on the sack eang he top page) a, I hogh o   cocoa  p  pon WNBEL thout lookng up) he wa ha CHS (amnng he op of he page) eek eoe la (WENBE sgns hs lete and blos t) WEEL Doe  eve occ o yo, Cophe, ha ee e backone o  cony CHSHE o an e, M enbe NBEL he mechan ca CHSHE h ye WEL he backone o he cony he vey veeae o

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continnt stbity rom coc to clviclom t Cptins to    wr you     CSTOR: T tonils    WEINBER:    t Tyrol om ustro to brst d Hngri to ligts ot t mrcnt clss is  bckbon of t mpir on wic t  sin out of o doings; do you vr sy tt to yorsl CHRISOR: ot in so mny words  Winbrl WEIER (Puli CISOR' forelok) W you sould Wt is it ftr  tt disngs m om bst? CISOR: ot  lot  Winbl WEINBER: Trd CISOR: I ws g tt IER: Wt wod w b witout d? CHRISOR Closd  Winbrl WEINBER: Thts it T surs wold go up on civiizon s w know it Its t mrcnt clss tht olds vg togrUning t dps srmn nd t lg midn ovr  pickld ring on  mogany cotr    CHRISTOR: Youv put m rigt o m rollmop (He has been eating one.) WEINBER :    uning t ovls of Hvn nd t Hous of Hnovr ovr  bo of ndrold cigars nd th mtcrl and t churc wardn in t fl of  lucifr T prl sr nd th courtsn r joind t h nck by t mrct clss W r t brokrs btn invnon nd ncssity blncing spply d dmd on t knif dg of prot nd loss I giv yout mrcnt clss! CISTOR: T mrcnt clss! (They toast) INBER W know good ms nd w know bd Somm d smbls on its mcT t mcin sms to sitt t whirling cogws nd rciprocng pistons isngg n uny silnc dscnds pon t mrcnil world     st r idly wisting ppr into cons icking  dst ovr pils of prsrvd gs nd pyramids of ncrn dts stng  lik wnton gods o th noth fc of th Emmnt nd gzng into t st And thn sddn wit  g roar  ngin busts

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into ife and the teeng world of coerce s upon us! Soeone wants a pound of coee, soeone ese an ounce of capers, he wants soked eel, he wants leons a skvy wants rosewater a fat lady wants buter, but a skny one wants whaebones the rate coes for a candy sck the bail roars for a botle of brandy, and tere's a Gadarene rus on the pigs toters At such ties the ercant cass stands alone ordering the tuult of desre into the ledgerly rhyth of exchange wth a copose as placable as a coage loafTongue (u he peech WNBR h folded h lee nd pu   n n envelope. CHRISTOPHR c ou h ongue nd WEINBR dab  poge mp on he ongue nd lp  on he envelope e el he envelope wh fcon) CSTOPHR How s your roance Herr Weinberl? INBR As well as can e expected of a relatonsip based on pseudonyous correspondence between two post oce boxes.One has to proceed cautously wt loney hearts advertiseents There is a great deal of sefdeusion aong tese woenalthough I ust at I a becong vey taken wth the one who sgns hersef Eegant And Under Forty. a tinking of coing out fro beind y own no de plue of ScaraouceTe trouble s, I rather ti  have given her the ipression that I a ore or less te oner of tis place, not to ention oters lke it . CHRSTOPHR At least you're not a dogsbody lke e. WNBR Dogsbody Youre an apprentceYou'e had a valuale traing during your ve years under e. CISTOPHR You see tings derenty fro te y egts of chef sales assstt WEINBR  Chrstopher, Cstopher, ha a pretel The dgny of labo ebraces servant and aster, for every aster s a serant too, answerable to the voice of a igher autoriy ZANGR (ude) Wenberl! (hou eemng o huy WNBR nn pu hng o ode) WNBR  tought you sad ed gone CHRSTOPHR He ust ae canged s nd

24

ZANGLER enters from the house) ZANGLER:  there yo e Is t me to open the shop IERL: Not qte Ce I was jst getng everythng saght ZANGLER: hat abot ths preel INBERL: The preel deeated me ompletely. ( CITOPR.  Pt t bake yo gong to the parade Herr Zangler ZANGLER: No, m gong beaglng.hat do yo thk IE: I thnk yore akng n o me Che ZGLER: How does t look IER: (aul) Sng ZANGLER: o yo thnk t shold be let ot EINBE: Not  aer dk ZANGLER: hat IERL: No ZGLER: e yo se IE I lke t, Che CITOPR: I lke t ZANGLER: I ant deny ts smart.d yo noe the sprs ( he spurs announce themseves  time ZANGLER moes.) NBERL: The sprs Oh yes  CITOPR: I noed them ZANGLER: Im rather pleased wth the ee. I eel lke the ae o the week EE: Thats very well pt Che ZANGLER: I dont me the ake o the weekER: Not the ke o the week-the Sheh oKwat ZANGLER: oCTOPR: he lerk o the works ZANGLER o! IE The ok o the wal ZANGLER: Thats the boy I eel ke the ok o the wa INBERL: Yo be the prde o the Sporng and Benevolent Msal Fsers o the roers Compy, and what wonder work they do or the wdows and orphs ZANGLE: I was jst settng o when I sddeny had dobts ER: I asse yo, wthot people e the groers there be no wdow d orphans at 



ZANGLER: N I mean I a ub abu leavng. INBERL: I n unean yu Cief ZANGLER My nece an w i peyg n my n.Tee mhing n quie igh hee. CHRISR: My nece an wa  peying n y min-? ZANGLER: (gnong hm) Seng n quie e cke Sne i a yeinewl Dn Ju He' ne Maie' hea  f  I knw he' aleay  i. NBERL We he in le i in pu ZANGLER: I'm ging  uae im. INBERL: Fuan i  g f him Cef. ZANGLER: I ending Mie away f a few ay.Yu' ave  maae he whie he ll   NWENBERL: T we e ime  . ZANGLER: N WENBERL: The  he while? ZANGLER: Tha' he by Yu'l have  anage he il he whie and  he bk a h cle f buine.I uppe yu'e pepae   ha? NBERL: Vy wll ppa if I ay ay  He Zagle ZANGLER : Thee will be he change Pepae yulf f a upie I have alway pie yef n big a g mae wh a mad vey eanable pviin f  a. NBERL: Yu av Chief ZANGLER: Wel wha wul yu ay  having a mie? CHRISTHER: One each  haing? IERL: Cngalai Cief We wih yu an yu bie evey happi. ZANGLER: Tha yu hank yu WEERL: May n ak wh i e funae yug ay ZANGLER: Acuay he a widw in buine le e We  acaly ike e fa f i i a hau cuu hue caing xcluively  h beau mne wih he gi wking up. Wha  yu ay  ha? INBERL Wl hee n a  yu can ay Cief ZANGLER : Wha he vil i h a wih eveybdy Tha anhe ing ha wa wying e-aving h plac in chag f yu w I nee ne wih a ppe ee f

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responsbt, not a lorolln counterclerk an a cack hane apprence INBER Im more. CISTOPR I'm arcle NBER Wo have ou ot n mn Che ZANGER  Well, ou wo of cose! WEINBER I me to put n chare wth a sense of responsblty? ZANGER Wat woul you o n m shoes? WEINBER Jne ZANGER What? WENBE Jnle make any erence just for one afteroon Chef? ZANGER It may be loner. Te uraton of my absence wl epen on how tns o at a certan enaement I have ts evenn Meanwhle esperate satons ca for esperate measures Master Chrstopher Approach CHRSTOPR He calle me Master Is t the sack? ZANGER Ive been payn for your clothes a these years, as you know CHRISTOPHER o, I thouht you bouht them ouht wen ou took me on NBER hut up ZANGER By rhts you owe me anoter s months appretceshp but to ceebrate my nupals I ave ece to foro tose onths I am appon you cef saes assstant WEINBER uch an honour s rante to such a few how your rattue then Hes stunne Cef CHRISTOPR Chef saes assstant! Oh Herr Zanler, yo bountness! ZANGER You ma ca me Chef top snvenwhere's ourCHRISTOPHER Than ou Chef! ZANGER ThanyouChefn WEINBER (ed) H on, Chef ZANGE HanonChef-noCHRSTOPR W I have my ceremony, Chef Ive ot to have myZANGER What?

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ITOP non Cef! ZANGLE Bl yo.And we mt hve the ceemony.Re yo igh oe and epet fte me     we ITOP I wea .  ZANGLE einbel do yo emembe how i goe WEINBEL To ve nd to bide. ITOP To ve and to bide. INBE N we by the ed pon of the Gnd Ve-nit been  ong tie    HRITOP (Rapd)  we by te ced pon of te mpei Gnd Goce nd by the gocey chin of i oce to tive fo hi vie in feehold to bide by hi gment which ow fom i pemie to hono  ctom keep p hi tock give cedit to few be cedt to l d not be fond wng when weighed in the ce o hep me God! ZANGLE Yo my jmp the conte TOP jump) Tht tht  wi iom yo of chnge in yo de hod y o to mexcept of coe tht yo hve to by yo own cloth. TOP Thnk yo Cief! ZANGLE And emembe alwy give people thei chnge beeen nge and thb.Noting let dow the tone of  plce o mch  chnge fom the t TOP Right Cef. E Ece me Cef.  yo chief le itnt o   not ZANGLE Yo e not  hve decided to mke yo my pe To tke ee om the dy of my mige WEINBE (Sund) Me Yo pe ZANGLE Y A  mied man who h come into poeion of  cote tblhment   be pending e me wy om hee.t ony ght tht yo hod hve an  nteet n the popety of the bine nd pobbl chepe WENBEL Pe .. ZANGLE Ye ye  oon  my bide h conmted my epnion into he tnove yo wi be my ptne ' f yo

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se ad ade yo may d yoself  my old fom. Now-wha shal I do hall I go o wha? WINR  Wha . . . ? ZANGR No, I'l go. CHRIOR Good lck, Cef! ZANGR I'm gog o o he paade ad call o my ace I's he day. Im hopg o hae a lle see osde he a shop efoe I ake he o die. CHRIOR Osde? I he see? ZANGR Yes. I ca' help  I'm a fool o myself whe I'm  loe. If I'm o ack  mog yo'll kow whee Il e. CHRIOPHR I ail? ZANGR I he lle's ams. CHRIOPHR Hae oe fo me, Cef! ZANGR Wha?No. I wll go ad pla my sso CHRIOHR Plgh yoZANGR Tha's he oy! ZANGR goe) WINR In  daze) Pae  . . pae . . . Im a pae. Oe mome a ppo coeclek, he e a pllar of h coea adig commiy HRIOHR Cef sales as asssa . .  Ie always ee a he oom of he ladde ad ow  . .  A though trk him) Who's gog o e de me, he? WINR Bookkeepe-ha as e Hmalaya of my aspaos,  fom he aage po of paesp I look olealy dow po he ookkeepe's place as f fom a roe of clods. CHRIOHR He's a pae ad I'm he eire sa. I'll hae wo mases sead of oe, hee cog he dow, ad he egh of my ahoy wl e fel y he hosekeepe's ca. WIR d e-sagely ogh-o, o of all mes, whe oe has smed po me lke a lac po a om  a apple, I feel a ses of .  (aue) gef CHRIOHR Tha ca s gog o wsh  had ee ee o WINR Wha s happeg o me? I feel a looseg of osce e esas .  . Deses si  my eas lke sfg caes o a adly loaded ao

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CIS C ISTP TPHER HER (eak (eak out) out) Oh, Moth, what s th whfo of t all-th th sng and how th abding fo a poo boy n th gocy tad I glad shs dad and dosnt s  chand to this count  a dog to a kl knowng nothing of th wold xcpt what happns to gt wappd ound th nt pound of gocs. Sng th sus only o an ac wndow, and th sunst d n a ow of spc as, agog at tavlls' tals of pavd stts! Oh,  nbl I hav co nto y kngdo and I s that t s th ockd oo fo wic you clbat you scap And f I hav to wat untl I a as old as you that longe than ve een alve! WEINBERL (oely) yond th doo s anoth oo Th sant s th slav of hs ast and th ast s th slav of hs busnss. CHRISTPR (egading ZANGLER' old unifom left in the oom) Ty t on. WEINBE WEINBER R  at CSTPR Ty t on. IER N CHRISTPR Go on WEIERL Gtud ight co nI ustnt! CHRISTPR All ght. WEINBERL I dnt! CHRISTPR All ght. WEINBER Da I (e tat to don the unom.) If only I could look back on a day whn I was fancy  a al al of a day packd wth advnu and gh ks, a day to b wn I a a gandgoc nglng tough Vnna n y boots and spus and th lvy of th Gocs Copany o passng th gog and spnng th yan wth th chant pncs of th tal tad whn I could say Oh I was a gay dog n y day a  apscallon  -wy I b onc   . but I hav nothg nothg to b. (eeately) Iv got o acu a past bfo ts too lat CHRISTPR Can  co wh you  nbl WEINBERL Co wth  wh CHRISTPR  want t now

INBEL Now? ITO Ths very nue INBE (ppae) Wha? ock up he shop? ITO Is aready ocked WEINBE We hes a he prade ..  ITO: And der n o. o .Is oy us o.Mare o.Mare s coned o quarers.He quarers.He never know. IBE W ...(e pace pacess abo a bou u fesh an a n he embrac embraces es HITO  HITO.) .) a abou he books? TO We cook he books WEIE Yes-wha abou he cook? HITO We  he cook.We cook.We e her he od us o e her he od us he doesn w o open he shop. WEINBE Wha happens when she es m we od her he od us o e her he od us  HITO The cook  .  GETD (sage) Isn  me you opened he shop-s one wo ocock. WEINBE She do for us ... e me ou of hs! hs! (HIO pus he unorm unc er WEIELs hea GED appears) GETD So youre s n wo nds, Herr Zaer? HITO He s, ad hes haf ou of boh of hem. (o WEINBEL oudy) I Iss erud erud,, Herr Herr Zane Zanerr  . e ? ( INBE nes are mued an unnegbe an furous WEIEL speaks) INBEL o  GETD Twenyree Carsasse, Mss Benbas. (his s he wrong answer an WEINBE spea even more fuouy) HITOH aser says d  Wenber and e m no o open he sop hs aferoo. GETD Don open he shop Te  Weber. (WEINBE agan) CHIT CHITOH OH  Sc orders he says ad ow he wod be obged  you woud be so kd as o eave hm. GETD Ta doesn sound ke hm (INBEL dances abou and roars ITO goes 

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hough o help him no he unc GRRD peak a he leave) · ht do. CHRSTPR (ulng he unic ove WR hea Sh o WBR Ad ow bt foot fowd CSTPHR ll t y wotd to WR I tht y? CHRSTPR t ot y v  t R Ill t  d wll b o (oo ( oo la lam m and and ing ingle le of of pu pu )) AGR (age Gtd WBR God  hv h b  (CHRSTPHR (CHRSTPHR pick up up R  R  dc dca ade ded d clohe and u o owad he hop pu howev l appoach)  t lt h   l t (efoe WBR can folow CHRSTPHR GRTRD ene fom he kchen and WR dive behnd he funiue AGR ene a he ame ime) AGR: (hou)  D d blt t tht whod Sd  owh to b   th vll d h ddt lv o th oh d  wdow  op God  Hly-If I p hv to o b Il  th pd. pd. I told tol d yo yo ot to lt  ot o t of yo ht GRTRD Yo told  to d W b bll d tll AGR Dot tll tll  wht  told tol d yoh yoh h oo. oo .f h ot ot of h Sotth tp t to o h p th ty t o. o . Ill p wth    th d f   d  pl to d GRTRD: Std  th hbo bod. (h leave in deen een diecions. WBR comes ou fom behnd he funure and runs in he hop looking for hi clohe)

angle hop WBR ene caling fo CHRSTPHR u  ha on u

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eneed when te tap doo n the oo stats ong u a  es  nto a upboad, o pehaps unde the ounte ODE ad R dessed n a vounous tatan hoode ape ege fo the ea ODER t's  ightit's stcouge mo mo MARE Oh Augustw musn'ti's no pope ODER Now's o chcewe  escpe by e shop o while they'e sechig ou he bc. MIE Oh but it's ot pope. ODER: Do' you ove me? MIE: ou now I ove you bu I o' wn o  wy ODER: Eopemn is' ung wy i's ug o. MARIE I's ot pope ODER: Is i pope o yo i to behve   he  you? MIE: Ye Ths why they c i popety.I  Oh August you'e  eibe n ss me gn.Yo me me ee  uy ow thee. (e ebaes he oe nsde   ae th out.) ODER: Oh Mie! MARIE: I men i the celOh omeboy' cog! ODER: Hie i he! MARIE: No it s' pop! (e dves nto WEIBER's upboad ug  afte h CHRITOPHER entes fo a seo doo wth ER's  othes ang f h and ung out of the sho he  upboad doo usts open. MAI oes out ODE os out ad IBE's egs oe out WIBE s ng on h font) ODER: Someoe hs been evoppg o u MARIE: I hought i ws  sqush i thee. (ODER dags WEIER out  hs hees  spus e ad MARIE ae aghast to nd that ZAGER sees to be yng o the oo wth hs fae st n the boa ODER a MARIE kee down ad bow the heds  IBER gets unstead to h feet WEIBER gazes dow  to the  owns of the hea) MARE: Oh my uce! ODER: Oh my oHe Znge! E Do' be ngy  Uce I me o hm. ODER She's bess si inct I sw I me in c I

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swea se dd  agans e  MIE I dd o  SODERS No se ddn- aven-O s  was ove a dove us o deceve ou (h ar kssg IBERs hads) IE Won ou spea o me Uncle Yo s wods e se o bea an e slence of ou ange (ER dply mbarrassd dsgags hs hads ad pas h wo ha) SODE Wa do ou   ? MARIE Do ou mean    (h ry o ras hr hads bu WEIBER rmly kps hr ha dow ad prsss hm oghr) SODERS: Hes blessng ou uon (IER gus hr fas o a lgg kss dur whh h s abl o rr sl from h room) SODERS: Mie RE O Augus O Uncle ouve made e so    Wee as e gone SODERS: Wa a spsng an e is  Benea s oug manns e s e ve soul of ac MARIE: (g up) I alwas new e was  denea SODER: Le me ss ou agan RIE: You can ss me popel now (hy go o aohr lgrg kss durg whh ZAGER s  h a sl apopl  lgh SODER os hm) SODERS (ua)  ee ou e m de  we wee wodeng wee oud go o ZAGER  (ragl) Sonds ( oup of buo y o hs uom) RIE O ou mus call m Augus nowoue gong o be suc frends-sn e dsome ZAGER: Ill  im E: Uncle bu ou us ZAGER : Slu SODERS: M de s wa can ave appened ZAGER You blacgud You baefaced dad SODS He mad

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GRTRUD ente GERTRUD  (lac) O yo've fod em IE O Ucle yo'e o yoelf    ZANGLR Ill mae yo ea yo wod yo gaefl lle Meaa GERTRUD Mae yo ea yo eola yo gaefl le ZANGLER (ceam) S  IE O    (he  weepng fo the oo.) SNDERS Mae GERUD Se' e I ca el  GERRU ext, folowng are) SNDER T  abd-'ll come bak we yo'e feelg calme ZANGLER chae SNDRS out) ZANGLER Yo de o ow yo oe  ee aga d I  o yo coqee o e o ace  d femoe I'll dhe e (h take ZANGLER out of the oom. WEINBERL n h own clothe, an CHRSTPHR eappea. hey ae gleeful) INBE Coe    Dd yo ea ta? CHRSTPHR (ookng down the teet He' l g I do'  e'l eve come back WINBERL O my I feel e a eal aclo We'e o e azzle a la (h emace) (nte WEINBERL dng hoe CHRSTPR leang the WEER We'e doe   Wee o e azzle  We'e gog o ge a a a a CHRISTPR (apponte) I  wa a azzle  lke  Webel? INBERL No ye-wa l we eally ge o o tde (o hoe) Come o Lgg    CHRISR How fa  Vea  Webel? IER I' a log way Coe CHRISTR Ho lage  Vea  Webe? INBRL I  e lage Coe    Woa Lgtg .   INBE get o and CSTR get on the hoe) Gddy  Lgg

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CHRISTOPR Wl tere be woen M Wenber WEIE Beaf woen Ctopher CHRSTOPR How od are he woen n ea M Weinber WEIER Twentywo Chrtopher CHRSOPR: How doe one eet the M Wenber WEIE They proenade in pack wth pao and gove p o here They conor wth coopot enofhe word n he fahonabe caf CISTOPR I have read ha hey e often kep Mr Wenber IER Kep for wha Copher RSTOPR Tha' wha away pzzed m IER Whoa ghng ea Copher  he pace o d o    k  (Th are l u  Venna) CITOPR (Imresse) I' j e yo ad    IE (Enchane) I  n'  Arrng n Ven     gay an musc    TOPR as  al n we-e The algue  ar f he se change. TOPR I e  way ke h  ener A  ay pop    IER (Sligh uzzle) Wel   ore or e    TOPR: (Enhuscal) Band pagee  of coor coe' e a  pade    WEER (Thughul) Y    TOP ha wod od Zager hn  he aw  ow IER Oh      (Th ny rs) ade ISTOP ade  (Th are   g gh  hem) IE My od ppoe Zer happe There he   -ge do    ER an TOPR /us see NG arhng The ara musc suenly ncrpraes he masse surs f he Grcs' Cmpany CSTOPR smuns an r an IER exi un cer f Lighni)

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A xror-d Korr Fo Hou D rd CHRSTPHR d WIRL r ru. Thy o o  brh h oud h wdow whh  h r door o th ho hou. Wdow bov CHRISTPHR  e we ry ha a avee WIRL Ye ha woud have ee o a   a ha cah h o . CHRISTPHR  O he ohe ha we o wa o e  e    WIRL: hooe a   .  CHRISTPHR Yoe o oweae ae yo? WEIRL I o kow I've ee e a a a a j hee CISTPR: Yove o e c IRL: I o  o I oy hae e I ee a e oce' o I e j my ck f ve o ebe' De. CHRISTPR: I o ceay be  cocece t  o e e  of  eoe come o Vea fo f  ove e o o o e  we yoe ee o a   ack o aeo oo foe I'm y o  o ook  e b e IBER: Coe. ISTPR: Y  ebe? WEIBRL: bace me. a aee o Lh? CISTPR: e away   WEIRL: ha w we o f he oe? CHRISTPR e bo he ae oo. IRL:  kee mm. CHRISTPR: I oy he co ee e o    e, whee e azze? IRL: Tee' ey o me Thee oay a avee ay  wa o  a h vey o PHLIPPIE  ov bou d u h h o Th h u, or h r , h word 'Korr hio Hou.) WEINBRL Fo a e ko e have ae a aome wh ey CHRISTPR No  o o hae o   a okey e

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cdesac e is WEER : Te arade m be over Les go ISTOPHER: We mg r io e boss INBERL: No, e's go e wole o Vea o coose rom, eres absoluey o reaso  wy  .  (Distant footfalls ad jingle of spus appoach h lile seet echos wih the sound) \'EINBE : I's Nemesis ! CHRISOPR Wel, e's go Zagler wi im ! (he run in opposite diections, thn chang hei minds, then ush hough he dooway ino the shop. hei faces appar in he windows, one in each, waching th st cauious a ANGLER comes ino viw* o their cotenation ZANGER walks saigh o e shop he facs disappear. s ANGLER tuns h doo handl wo voluminou swahed aan mannquins lap ino he windows, one in ach  h same momn MELCHIOR uns in fom he sid while ZANGLR is in he dooway MELCHIOR  S !O wa luck  e assnova erson-e wos ncarate-e Don  Jua is a te me Gadens Ce w a ice yong lady lke a ladylke young ece  ANGLER : (mging confused) E, wa? Wa? Wo's ths? MLCHIOR: Herr Zanger ! ANGLER Yo serva, sir-o by God i's mine Wa are yo doig ere? LCHIOR: I came o d you, yo emiece ANGLER I od yo o go sag o e resara LCHIOR I did b e Cassaa icarae as rived ad e ! ANGLER: B as js dsers. Wa abo m der? MELCHIOR: Te der is a arraged, b I'm o e a of e Casseroa ad yo ms come immedaey beore i es cod ANGLER: Te em o p i i e ove o seem o ac a sese o prooro I am abo o pre mysel o my ce i o ceai erms, ad I'm ded i Im te ogn producon Zngler was ccomped by the 'e sexe whch serended e windows  smry dsssed by Zger fer Melcor vl. • In

ong to be hied and ut o my stoke by the dous sefmotance of a jumedu asycook Honsy, these fashonabe ng houses, hey  theye dog you a favour by takng yo money. I tod you to wat fo me. MELCHOR I was wang fo you, sir, and who soud ve by hosecab but the vey sae seduce I saw eave your ome ANGLER Te you e, you see!-I sod av emaed e to te Back d Wte Cho House. MECHIOR He had a oung wom wt  ANGLER Of cose e dd-t must be tree o fo os snce e found himsef w a vacc. MELCHIOR She was n a Scottsh getu. ANGLER Vena has been oveun w Scotsh getus, kts, toshantes, Roya Stuat enc ses and gand nge of evey stre snc the tow ost ts hd ove te Vd Mach In y oon ts a sgrace. Even t cocoate cake . . . Sacett ! No, no, a Scottsh getu mes notngthee's even two n the window hee    WEER and CHRSTOPHER hiy ru idiy Th n hav a popr viw of ELCHIOR, y h way) Dam t, e you debeatey trying to ck my bubbe whe I stnd kockng at my ance's man enrce? MELCHIOR He caed he Mare. ANGLER A vey comon name I tod Geud to ut Me nto a ocked cab and give the coachman an ea ve  e deveed e esony nto the ads of my ssteaw Mss Bumenbat Wat coud  sure tha that? MELR A ve? es I woud say that we must be tang o two deent Maes. ANGLER Exacty d what yos does s no concen of me LCHIOR  don't tnk se' do muc. I had a sten ad  she sd was It's not oe. ANGLER t's te! MLCHO No, no, a tart and ward of an eey eent c ANGLER It' them ! ! Quck, fetch me a hafted cab you som foo! LCHOR We'e o! ANGLER (Lving) What a stuaon! MELCHIOR (Foowing hi) assc!

9

Madame Knor's Fashion House NBRL and CHRSTOPHR ome out of the wndos in the hop. CHRISTOPR disrobes WRL is late and PLPP enters WRL starts sashaying round the shop in his tartan loak, for CHRISTOPR's benet WINBRL  Wat do you tink? CHRSTOPHR : t as a crtain  Scottis audaciy WINBRL : A, tr you  at last m  addrssing th abitr  of ts fashion hous? PHLIPPNE : ' su   dont kow sir  wll ftc Madam at onc. But xcus m sir tt is a ladys cap IRL : I kno  was trying it on for a ady of my siz and acquaintanc PHILIPPIN : Tat cap is rsd t has a tickt on it. WNBR Ys  know (Reads the tikt) Frau Fischr  av com to co it and pay for it CHRSTOPR : Not xactly to pay for it. INBRL : No not xactly to pay for it, but to con paymt (CSTOPR ha been looking out atious through the windows CHRISTOPR :  tnk t s all c no Hrr Fischr INBR : Is that c? PHILIPP  m not su 'd bttr go and fch Madam WRL : Exclnt idea CISTOPR : Manwl wll b o IRL -ay gratf if you woud tak car of this (e hands h the cape grandly PHLIPP : Ys si Did you say Hrr ischr? WE : Ceany Woud  pay CISTOPR : Con paymnt WENBRL : Conm paymnt for sombody ss wif (To CRSTOPR. ) Wy dont you s if our frind is aywr in sigt? CHRSTOPR  Good ida ll b bak in a momnt WNBRL : s anyting th matr PHLPPNE : Frau Fiscr as bn a widow for th yars NBRL S tiks s has ys PHILPPNE  S tinks sh as Wat about th funral WNBRL  t was  t funra that put th ida ito hr had  40

hat shed lays be a do Hoeer three days ago sh dd e he hoor of beomg y e o CHRSTPHR who ha paued in admiaion on hi way ou) o  oe ba ot yo? CHRSTPR goe) PHPPE I'l feh Made mmedaey She sars  he orroom WBR Tell her theres o hrr-he robab b heg ad hag PHPPE goe bu inan eu) PHPP B Herr sher h ddt ra sher hage her ame o yours stead of yo hagg yo ame o hers? WBR She dd I dd't My ae a t haes s also sher Thas ho e met We ere aed  alhabea order  a e dll at he dg aademy PHPP: Oh I see PHPP goe WBR look cauio ino he ee hile he i o engaged, MRS SCR ene he hop WR bow o he and coninue o look ou of he window for CHRSTPR' eu. fer a few momen D KRR ene guhig)  KRR There hey are Theyre bo here  Ad ha a ole of aghty hdre yo are !-Oh y dear fed hy ddt yo el e? MRS SCR: Are yo feelg al rgh y de? MM KRR No I am o feg all rgh I a feeg dsty t o ay beg arred for tree hoe days hot sayg a rd to your oldest fred ad leg your hsbad to brea the es MRS SCRfo//ow MAD KRR gaze owad WEBR) Hoeer I forge yo    he walk round WBR) Ad o ha I see your hsbad I a qe derstad hy yo e m hdde aay MRS SCHR  My hsbad? he examine WBR wih inee) Ad he oed o arage hse dd he? R inche fom h gaze paiculaly hn he ge ou he lognee o cuinize him a he bee DAM



KNO keeps ghing.) MME KNORR A oe too soo It is such  hoou to meet you I thn it is so omtic-you must hve swept he o he feet e e how og hve you know ech othe? MRS FSCHER: Not og t  WENBE No ot og MME KNORR You ust hve bee ie with yo he i  w  MRS FSCHER You cot sy I wet ito it with my eyes ope MME KNORR Of couse you ,  I  sue you hve ot bee sppoite MRS FSCHER Supise moe th sppoite My husb hs  vey iviu wy of eig with the bies of oiy timeI epect we be egge et wee  exchge cs the wek fe MME KNORR Ist she piceess? WENBERL  expe you thk Im the pesuptuous MRS SCHER: No I woudnt sy you wee pesupuous Pesuptio oe hs ecoutee befoe WENBERL We  ite fow MRS SCHER A itte fow? You wi meet yousef comg bck MM KNORR But why so sue  secet? MRS FISCHER hee ws  eso My  husb wi te you MME KNORR Oh o te WEINBER My e wife c te you just s we s I MRS FISCHER But I wou ike y to te he WENBERL A I wou ike y to te hefte  shes you ie MM KNORR Oh e ot queig ey  MRS SCR It ws  wm of my e husbs NBERL A t the sme e  w of my e wfe E KNORR But it is eoiy WEINBERL: hee is othg exoiy bout it Whe two ctive peope    MME NORR A ige of tue is MRS FSCR: Eey WENBERL : Yes, iee We I must be goig MRS FSCR Goig? Wht o you e

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WNR   hve some bsess o ed t MR HR Aret you gong o see me y o my ew Soh pe? Afe   wouldn be f f yo ddnt lke  WNRL Why? MR HR  (  AM NORR jhingy) Why?s he he soul of geneosy? If  ke someg, ths enough fo hm WNRL Auly, I h hs  fd hs hd s g, you kow MR HR  H s ngsuh  sense of humou Well ke  MM KNORR  WNRL) W  be sh o ou? WNRL Aou, I hk We, f hs l you wed    Deghed o hve me you  lsmy wfe hs od me so muh bou you MR HR on be so mpen, my de-Ive hd suh  wondeful de WNR One eeds  ot of pene   mge I nd MR HR I hope Ive neve gve you use fo omp WNRL Oh o MR HR Hve I eve onded yo o mes lge o m? W!RL No evemuh ppeed MR HR Don I do my b o ene o you des gs  eso? WNRL ou do you do And sne you mke  po of dog so I m sue you wo md f I now ve you t you fed d you Sotsh pe nd go bou my busness MR HR I wod nd vey mh Ot of ouresy o Mdme Ko I no let you foget t yo ony busness ody s o ke us ou o  eebo sppe MM NORR A eebo suppe  Is fe exory ! I ws hopng my ne would pn me dow  he Blk nd Whe Chop Hose ogh, bu, no fo he s me, he pefeed o snd me up WRL Dd he MM KNORR He dd* • h nxt sv spchs ppy oy if ZANGLEs s hs pu  ts

ppc   s sc.

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I togt I would be getng a ltte gold bd WENERL And yo ddnt? MME KNRR I d not It turned out to be a little brass bd. WIERL Did it MM KNRR It did. WEINERL Did you ger tn green? MME NRR  trned een. But now te eveng proses to tn ot ust as memorable. MRS ISCHER So you wil oblige s, wont you? WEINERL I wold adore to bt alasMRS SCHER Very well -Egenia my dear, Im afrad I ave to tell yotat ts manWEINBERL Wy dont we al wak aroud to t Blak and Wt Cop House and rase a foang tankd to o appness. Ad aer tat I rey mst das MRS ISCHER   Bak and Wte Cop House? Im su t wil ase no spse to anyone ere tat you would prefer to teat us to somewer a ltte better t tat. I an ange into y new Sots ensemble Wll need a ab  KNRR ats a wonderfl idea I do tnk you wife deves a kss or tat WEINBERL Do you t so?  : O I do WEINBERL Well Im not gog to deny anyone tei due Permit me INBER kisses M ISCR o her emba"assmen MME KN Do you al tat a kss? You dot ave to stand o eremony n ront o me. WEINBERL: O ve wel (He gies  a lngering ks on he mouh Ad in ase y bde as any more good deas Ill gve er one on aount (He kisses  again CISTPR eners he shop CHRISTPR l lea. WEIERL A, tere you are. I dot tk youve met my fe is is my osn from te onty Im te kissng os, es te on osi My wi-my es rend ade Korrmy ousi-te ou of us e gong to ave sppr togeter at    (He looks enquiring a MRS ISCR

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S FISCR  The pera Garden Caf WEIER The Ipeial Garde Caf Where ele? Go ad feth a ab    e ushers CISTPR out) He be bak i a e oent  ISCR We keep the ab ad go on oehere ee IE: te good id! e tkes her to  pote embce CHRSTPR comes t of h ze e gves   of delght, thows his ht  the  ir  rus o ow the steet.)

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AC TW h Impi Gr j his is  crvtry ntrm h min rsturnt is  stg Lrg in in bck , thrugh hich r visib sm f th  grn, tc, tc., n  prti vi f  hnsm cb, pssiby ith hs ttch. hr is  r int this grn hr r in nut sing rs t th kitchn. Stirs frm th min r  up t  g t th bck, frm hich  in ks ut vr th  grn hr th cb is. h pc is fshinb, vn prtntius; th cint kis At curtinup  n  trc f custmrs, itrs, tc pss thrugh hi music pys. h mns rsss suggst tht th tn h  gn m fr trtn. hr is s  cncrting Scttish inunc in th Vinn ts,· bgpips hv bn imprt. hr r t ining tbs, sm chirs,  ctstn. hr is  fing scrn f hins sign. h fshinb sc isprss n th music cs t n n. Aft  pus th ismbi vs f ZANGLER n LCHIR h r hin n th stg r hr

ZANGLER: Melco LCHIR He Zagle ANGER: at' aeed to e uc MELCHIR Ye  kow t atl te uece of Gema emm atly te decadece of a Eme tat a outlved t uoe ad al Scot fotgt  do't old  t mye Gve me te evegee evey me tat wat  a toe golde olde of yetee te Blue Dube ad tat ote oeZANGLER Melco MLCHIR: Ye He Zagle

ANGR Sut u or   ou MLCHIR: Ver good Hr Zager A jnge f pur annune ANGLRs appearane e  tty reveaed on the tage LCHR reman nvbe ANGR evnty den't kn whee MCHR  dng) ANGLR: (ookng rund) Melco MCHR: Her Zngler. ANGLR: (ookng round) Have ou see te et? MLCHIR: Not et, Her Zangler. ANGLR: Remembe-absolute discetion MLCHIR: Yes, Her Zage ANGLR: kng rund) Dont draw aenon to ouselbend into te background MCHIR Ver good Herr Zager ANGR: Wee te devi e ou? CHR: Here He Zangle ANGLR A MCHR  edenty ated behnd the hnee reen e rema nvbe ANGR addree hme t the reen) No isten  dot wat an scanda Just kee te under observaion. We a ave to ssue  alse den MCHIR: Cssic!  do a ate-tere imorted ee ou kow ANGLR: Wat a retenous lace Trust  nece MCHR: Yes I do one o  Itaan ites ANGLR (lanng rond wth dsgust) L dolce v ognoscen !-oo ! uruy) Prim donn!  MLCHR: Quite good-ut more o  s to it-cognoc -rim n! (WAR  enters o move the sreen to one sde of he room) WAIR N: Peettete igno  otre questo vento . .  [xe m, geteen, a I just ove th sreen for yo    ] (s WAR  sar fods he seen shu MLCHIRs oe   o.) MLR No   coeel en (R  oes h seen o o h do a eaes GR foows a and addresses t sreen) A e o a t? 47

zANLR pen p he sreen and MLCHR nw makes hs frst appearane limpng int vew severely  ZNGLR is relieved and a  o drps the nharaeris slde ons, 'v nvr non sch a oon  oin o hav o saihn o o hn   o ho  LCHOR hank o v ch rr Zan ZANGLR No o osi an hav a oo ron h WAES  ne a a m a w paes apa rm h oo ag o h aa h co h ag b ad  hogh h swing d int he kihen For a  kno Snrs an Mari a hav nish hir hors 'ovrs an sipp aa or h n MELCHR No, sir, has hir coach osi ZANGLER s i? hrs h coachman? MELCHR n h ichn having a quck on. ZANGLER  Fch im in hr,  an o spak o him MELCHR A onc, Hrr Zangr. (Th r WATER r fom h kche carg a eab pagoa of crocr H co br  h drco of h aua) ZANGLER: And rmmbr wa  dno candacop iscron (Th cod WATER foow h r WATER   a ma maer) LHR: Vry goo Hrr angrLCHR u a pa c hogh h ch x door hr  a  mp v cah of fag coc bod h oo MELCHR e hogh h ch ac door Hs no hr (H appoah h ga oo  o  Coachman ! Your an in hr  CACHMAN Ou hou) ha o you an? MELCHR n r ZANGLER: (Shoug cr) Discrion, am you  MELCHR  Whp o ZANGLE Sorry. h CACHN r om he gard H  a ag ma mm coa wag a a ha; he car a whp) cr) Ah, coac-my mpoyr ishs o s you-in priva-is a mar of so dicac- r on 48

yor scretionyo kno hat  mean? CACHMAN: (os Say no more lead me to her here s she? (He ccs his whip  shes a goer ad has an arse a man can et a decnt prchase on MELCHR: No no! CACHMAN (evey iey Yore rght!dscreon-Te her to meet me bend the stables MELCHIR: No .   ZANGLER: Yo there  CACHMAN: hos that? MELCHR: My empoyer. ZANGLER comes fow mpoan an has ZANGLER Zaner. mport an merchansng. CACHN: (omes fow an cics his hees Bodehemer. Transport and ating ond ZANGLER: Peyor of hhcass prosons sppler of cooked meats and decac to the genry CACHMAN: Horse man ZANGLER: Ho ae yo CACHMAN  spply horse manre ZANGLER: Oh  see. Well loo here Bodehemer  am a ma of some conseqence n the Grocers Company. Yo do hat  te yo f yo kno hats good for yo bsness CACHMAN: Horse manre (Asey d anpo ZANGLER: Qte No Yo hae been engaed for the eeng by a man h s ecoring  cean yong lady n a Scots etp (The ACHMAN evien has w pesaies, ne for  sel neres an he her for eehng else He rops he oher) CACN d hat a corer A ppp She as  pos a reshness ZANGLER: QteCACN: -an se any man od g s eye teet to s nt ZANGLER: Thats qte enogh CACHMAN: Happy the man ho enjoys te fredom of her lacy bodice! ZANGLER: (Angri Yo ae addessng her gan s!

9

COACHN h e ey ike hen ZANGLER W yo be qe! ACHN (Qetly) orry wha e hey e ZANGLER Now sen COACHMAN Rond ike es or ghy oy ike ears ZANGLER How dre yo! (he COACAN l ZANGLER o hi feet y hi lapel) COACHN Answer e! ZANGLER (ap) ighy ony (he COACHMAN thow hm aide timphant) COACHN  kew  by God ! ZANGLER eel ove to LCOR  ZANGLER Are yo se    COACHMAN Conferene or Ws ZANGLER For God' e he ans obsessed (t the COACHMAN pll hie togethe dden and  h digned peaty) COACHN ' sorry yo hono -y aooges !-ee dsregrd  ' be  rgh now ZANGLER  e yo qe e COACHMAN Oh y These  never s ong ZANGLER Wh s yo o COACHN Thnng abo bos s ZANGLER We  yo kee yo nd o he ACH '  oh ZANGLER Th God e're b on e on No hen yo senger reener yor oah  n yo o ke he on  rondabo roe o Tenyree Crsrasse COACHN Where'  ZANGLER Tenyhree Crsrsse COACHMAN  ' do ha hey' reo e ZANGLER The an  abdng  nee COACHMAN We  don' ow abo ha ZANGLER  do ' go d feh he oabe nd ein o h    (e jngle h pe to make the pont) He  jm  behnd and ersde he o ener he hose  e give yo y obe COACHN  o o e eson ZANGLER Here's one ha yor oenson When yo dever

s

te ugve M Bluenbat wl gve you te ote CACHMAN Say no oe I e a goe ten ZANGLR I wl ollow and ave te an put on a age and tu avod a publ anda You go bak to you plae A oon a tey lb aboad w up you e    No MLCHR Sk up ZANGLR No LCHR HoeZANGLR at te boy W u you oe d and te ugtve peonally to M Bluenbatt CACHN Soty tye  e Lke a good me? ZANGLR  (ncedulouly Se tyeven CACHN (os ees O e ook    MLCHR: O t e Fen a CACHN Fen md? W e et me n? MLCHR: Se knon o t (CACHN  o lee) ZANGLR: (o MLCHR) Ive ead emak CACHN Wat ae tey lke? ZANGLR Sgty ponted (CACHN exis) Ho dd you now about te Fen md? LCHR You mean tee  one? ZANGLR ' go and et a ontable MLCR Wat about you elebaon uppe wt yo ane? ZANGLR Sonde a uned my pan  ut ave ome ooked gooe e I ang to ke  be n-oe pked uube we I n t ook MLCHR Got t (ZANGLR leve in he diecio of he eu. WAR W enes wih  ol beng ZANGLRs celebio suppe) WAR W Hee we ae ! One btday upe o two a odeed obte emdo oat o apagne and ow any adle wl e ant on te ake MLCHR ake tat away Snu the de and ane te ake Bng e ome bee and pke I want te table ove

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tere, my mater wat a le ew f te  WAER WO Wat am I gg t  wt  ti? MELHIOR: I am t a layt Hae yu ee a yg uple, te wma  a Stt getup? WAIER WO: Wat la? LHOR Maae! WAER O eaves OE and MARIE ener) LHIOR: It tem! RIE: O Augut, t t rper ONDER : Here  a paper prg yu ae  a age t e marre wtt yur guara et MRIE Bt t t prper ONDER I ae yu t  gale frm te real g Keep t wt yu at all me LHOIR akes a napkin and enu fo a able and confrons he bod) LHIOR: Bua era !yu wa a arta? ONDE: (luen) N, gaze tate; u el at al c apea aa tra tala  ar, per me e pe a ma amia [o hank you very uch. y copanion and I have soe ho chocolae waiing for  a ou able in he garden ] LHIOR: Rgt, qure    Srry    I tugt yu ere mee ele (OER and RIE exi GEAN OLE ene) LHIOR It tem! (he GERMAN OPLE look a hi wih alar and incoprehension MELHOR addresses hewih heary innocence) Ntg!  le! Take  e! Cry ! ( he G OPLE ignore hi) (Wat eater ere ag, e! Turg t a t ak I t l ute? GEN MAN : Btte? MELHIOR: I t? Lat igt wa etely ak Wu yu ay tt a a ak r t a ak? GEAN WON: (eaving) Dake MELHIOR: (azed) Daker? GEN MAN Btte MECHIOR: Pleae yele Sparklig ple I t tik t temal tey a talk at  te weater

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SCTTISH CUE ntr) SCTTISH N Foa TTISH WN Ye budy rea oo Hamsh McGreo MCHI I's hem! SCTTISH WN: d o hnk ee mssn Venese Week n Fo Wam SCTTISH CE unt CHISR and  NR ntr fllwd by INBE and M FISCR MCHIR stps t n id)  NR  e beau monde  CHIR Is em WEINBER Look abou us ben maedMRS ISCR I on' fee maed un eve had he consomm MCHIR Prees MCHIR its thrugh itchn las crah  r-ntrs)   inbrl) I don cae f youe maed o no You c do ha you ke  MCHIR xi)  NRR Wha a sange feo M ISCR: has neve happened o me befoe a e Impea Gdens Ce. INBER Yes s e s me fo me oo CHISHER I happens o me evey me I come MRS ISR: We' say hee Euena do you mnd? CHIST: We Ive eached he heh MRS ISCR he esauan s so coded and fanky I had o dea ese cosh paens had become que so common WEINBER: Ive o fou udes ef afe payn he coachman   I's e penay of success Hdeade. CISTR If oy y moe coud see e no  MS ISCR Unfonaey e success s yous he he pen s mne CHISR he neve eamed ha one day Id be ubbng shoudes h e me caame  WEINBER: Have you o any cash? ISTR: Peope of my cass don' cay cash WEINBER: I ony had en des hen I se ou CISR en udes  You hoped o acque a pas fo en de

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WEERL: Well  s sine thehow s  to kno ' be rrie for dinner? M KNR: ppachng Here we re.  hnry. WEINBERL: ( CHRSPHER) Yo're not. CISTPHER: Sit don here, y Epress-( WENBERL. Not ht?  KNRR: ( WEINBERL Yor cosin tkes ret lieres consierin ' ened to e rie CHSTPR: Be ne toht n  l revel y tre ienty n ive yo hf y kindo INBERL ( CHRSTPHER) Not hnry. CSTPHER naps at h) Not even Herzeovin,  if yo on't ke the est of yorsel yo'l end p servin in  shop. MRS ISCHER: ppachng) Hs the chpne rrive yet? WEIERL: I on't think e shold et here. ts  toeher too spn for y tste.  KNR Don't ble eit's the penlty of S ISCR: Sprtn- know it's not ht yo're se to bt Me Knor nd  on't kno ny etter. Where's the Ms?' yn CISTPR: t's probbly o the bck. WENBE The servce here is terrible. Wter Yo see? ets oe on.  SCR: Don be lous. Anywy yo let the coch n g1 dont know hy you d' sk hi to wit. E I d' ce for . He seeed  ery isreeble feo.  ISC:  s beuse of yo .  I ge    good . CSP: o d I. E eer s  cou  My is ou. S:  no coco t e er cent. : o e good s.  S: y husbd lk o reend es soous.  : ou  ere's noer one lie ? I: Ayy I ough t od be ce o  bck oss e k. M SCR Wl? o b

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MM KNORR  hrs a ra hm over WNRL (ee Wer    ar    ROHR War WAR WO Co, sir NRL (o CHROR Four uders ! OR Wha WNRL (o hi hea) our guiler our sins  w fou guilen ha resass aans us (e cathe MR R  e) Grae MR FCR dard WAR WO e you ready o order, sr WNRL  wer -si don my d fow You ske me as bin a sendd ha Wha  you hae WR WO Sr WN Why shoud e ae e a aoed o us by a eonom order ha ses one man aboe oher Ie ben n hs mar a ra da of houh aey and  sm o me ha n a nushe e aue of abo ia MR CR Wha ar you babbn abou N You may a  babb bu one day n s hane Wnbersm  ge brh o a new order Hsor s wa MR CR We e a wng WR O I woudn hae he sea-s hern n oamea NR Soieys aous  be sed one and for  ad when h b om waier I wan you o  of me as a omrade AR WO Y sr d I woud hae he nees eher if I were you N Wha are he nees WAR O I woudn know sr Thas why I woud ha hm MR CR We wed ke a dr o ben w NR A rh-brn us hree bers and a exa ass  CR Suh a sense of humour He kno I ner dr ber : Two bers and a ass of waer M CR I mus ha somen ho

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WINBL Ho e MS ISCH I men omeng o o e. INL To beer nd  rdi  N oure rg-e rou. MS ISCH  Ti  gone que  enoug INL A rg  Brng u o beer, o ge o e oue ed nd o uge or e e MS ISCH  Te oue red WINL Te u  ye o come arly o CHISTPH) Ge  CHISTP  Go . WINL Good-  e go. {WINL hands he enu o WAIT TW) My commen o e oc recever MS ISC  ou obouy ve no de o o enern  dy. CHISTPH Wc i  e addresses WAIT TW iperiously) You ere- you nme-e n e be dinner n e oue, nd e n  no  WAIT TW  e,  e clearly preers CHISTPHs ype o cusoer  hough sres h) I en o ve  obe ju redy o erve. CHISTPH Eceen WAIT TW  Temdor CHISTP Eceen, Termdo WAIT And  o o   e mng, nd o deer    I no nybody brdy, by ny cnce  N  azed and pleased) e  I ne  WAIT T Geu niverre-you ge  bger  . CHISTPH A bger- good. We' dk cmgne o , cmgne  e mn coure nd  e deer e ve ome IN lared) Cmgne CHISTP Trockenbeerenuee. You k I kno nong WAIT TW An eceen coce, . And  I my y o,    eure o erve  genem. e glances eannul a WINL and depars) WINBL  I eoe ke im o re gong o u  oke no Wenberi Teor. o CHISTPH) Neveree

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he bil  come STP Peole of my clss don' py he bill INL I meHISTP  ( Very delberae) I kno h ou men I m no enel supid Sociey will py r sociey Do you folo me INL No ex    HISTP  (xpansively) I's  dnble hng Weinberl, bu hen he reckonng com he cleer people re nohere o be found hee gorn    you see    disppered  .  leing he bill o be pid by he bourgeoisie    he shop keepers    he dows    nd such like ge me I ( las) Go ou MS IS Oh, do sop lkng polics, e ce here or  celebron diner INLs anner has changed draaical) INL My de e hy didn' you sy you were hungry  We' he  lobser each.  N Oh i's rue loe WINL My press  MS ISH ( o DAM N) Anoher one INL I il gie ou hf my kingdom oo   IS Hungr? INL Sring (o AIT T who has reappeared wh he ANGL dnner roley) Ah, here ou re  lspil !look shrp  ou lue you job, here's pleny of ohers'l do i for he money MLHI eners fro he garden  he oher ln AIT N. e son is h e WNL pary ave sa heselves down a he able sage lef he ANGL ale s sage righ� b boh ables are qie near he cenre) ML Wh's ll his?-I'e rrnged for y employer o e here    nd no hese people he pushed in HISTP I's  free coun LHI Oh clssic ISTPH I sn men o be origin AIT N (alian accen) heres room for eerybody ( AIT  pors chapagne)

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M My empye ss t eat ane. WN Y empye seems t be nused abut te natue  ts tabsnt. It's wat we a a etauant M y dnt yu av yu de smewee ese WNB y dn't yu tae yuse  be yu get a bste dw yu btes. WAT W  ervng p dnner fr fr)  Pease! My maste wises t ave a ea vew  tat asm abman wie es eang WNB Yu maste's taste n aben is smetng we pee nt t suss  I ny ts stupd pae ad a dvdng wa TP Peaps yu maste sud aange t be peedd eveywee by a upe  ate etng biayes WAT N tn ent) Sign tee is a Cinese seen w we use smetimes wen a ustme ees te dugt dtdaugt  Tat wi ae t d Cme ee and ep me wt t  N Wat a nuisane M  hdder) Cinsee    and tatan    HTP  ait a mnute ! e ant be swn up ke ts n nt  yu we ad e end. WNB nd TP get p nd t M nd WAT N wh re brng frwrd the reen) N e dnt ntend t eat u dne seened  m pubi vew e  t TP naistsW  S uess yu want yu Cinese seen ded und yu es I an yu my maste  nt be put ut  te es  yu NB  Yu may te yu maste tat  e as a bne t p wit me I dnt wis t see s dg M Yu an te m yuse. I an ea m ng he nd f pr pprhng N nd TP pek tgether.)  ey) Sen TP N nd TP hnge tk wth grt

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smoothness and tae the screen in hand moving it so that it seaates the two tabes) MECHIR Cssic . .  ANGER enters WNER and CHRSTPHER sit down at their tab visib coweig) ANGER Mlcor. MECHR Yo ono. ANGER vrygs rrngd T consbl is poisd o prs Sondrs Hs pd y sl b s lips r psd No- prsd o sppos-noMECHR Sppr is srvd ANGER No!-O sppr is srvd! MECHR Ts  boy. ANGER sits down at his tabe WAITER NE sets out the bee and ickes and eaves WAITER TW whees awa the emty troey) ANGER W is is r� doig r? MECHR Trs  vry rog crod   n bl copl of s nd ir gs ork  didn n yo o b disrbd. ANGER  Good t the othe tabe WEINER has oured the chamagne uer commences MME NRR Wl if is f of srpriss !  s yo   ck in  ord! CHRSTHER Quiety) Tnk yo Wr going o nd i.  NRR  n  nyds. CHRSPHR  Quiety) O ys. o WNER    ck n  orld. WEINER queaki Tnk yo ANGER o MCHIR Fc   ppr nd n go nd kp n y on Sondrs nd Mi. MECHR rocures, at the side o the oom, a wsae  a oe which he hands to ANGER  Tyr   b in  gdn.   kno if  gs p MCHR ll o  bck of r ovr . ANGER No-no scnd! MS ISCHER    And no forgng our ddng plns g .  . ll  ck in  orld! he tots D 9

)   T you MS ISCH ik glsses. (h chn gla) CHISTP  (Qtl) l e luck n e wold (CHISTPH chn gla ith  KN)  KN Tnk you k glsses (o WIN) Tk you (IN  taring nto pac ISTPH pa qt to WIN) CHISTPH ink glsses WINB  (qal) e y ey us go wi  sceen. MS ISCH Wy e you speking lk  INB (qa) Lik w  ISC You spekng   pc wy. INB (o CISTP)   CISTP (Qtl) No   noced MM KN  (o CHISTP Ws ppened o you voce CISTPH (Qt) Nonges no need o sou.  KN ' no soung  speking noly INB (qa) No so loud. MS ISC And wy en you glos you ppe CHISTP (Qtl to WIN) cken WIN (qa) Woudn' you b MM KN d lke soe cckn. And so oe cpgne   feel i okng ledy CISTP  ( Qtl) Bes o leg M N All ove. CISTPH (Qtl to WINB) Bes o leg WIN (qa) ll ke wing-ve you go  CISTP  (Qtl) Go  (o  KN) Te bole's py.  ge   (CHISTP gt p and ov to th coattand whr nnoticd b th won h pt on MS ISC' flngth tatan coat and pt th hood ov h had) WINB ( qa) ll ge on oo M ISCH W don need wo wes. WINB (qa) l g l elp  ge e s one MS ISC Don' b slly-

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MME KNORR: Oh oo-ve got the wishbone WINRL Have o? MM KNORR Coe on Hildegade MDA\1 KNORR n MRS FSCHR pl  wsbn Ah we done  Yove got the ain at. WNBRL qs  MADAM KNOR hat eans its o wish MM KNORR o-is o wies wish. WENRL qs hats not how we a it MRS FSCHR  begnnng to eget that  eve aied o WENRL  Yod bette both have a wish MME KNORR Oha ight WNRL Cose  ees cont to twent and dont te e hat o wish. MME KNORR  gr Onetwotheeo . MRS FSCHER MADAME KNORR n MRS FSCHR cls r ys CHRSTOPHR s crp lng  bc wl n ZANGLR's r n lvs rg  grn r. ZANGLER s src by s nws ppr ZANGLR s s  sly Viennese chaion cabetosse ais to qai at Baea n pl What ae is this? nw WENRL s crp wy p  srs n s lvng by  gllry wnw n rr  rp n  cb. M KNORR gr    seventeenghteenneteen MRS FSCHR twenty MRS FSCHR God heavens ! t os  coNSTALE nrs fr grn. CONSTL Sia ong coe hae eat into  coach ZNGLR Did one o he oo Scottsh? CONSTALE  dont ow bt the othe one had a tatan coa ZNGLER ts the! J  behind and tae th to iss Benbatts wentthee Castasse CONSAL xs. w WTERS nr n v  scrn. WAlTR ON O with the ights nr USOY w bry c fw by PPR.  LL ngng Ha bithda t  Ha bithda to o,

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Hay rthday dar Madam Knorr Hay rhday to you MM  Thank you WI  Tn on th ht L My cak    Zanr L: My anc SS and I enter) SS: My ca! L: Sndr  SS My God MI My unc! L: My d BSBY (o L) our  L fant at th ght of t.)

vng roo MSS BLBLTT at oble trane dor ntror door wndow to dark extror the botto of a tarae and another exit rote whh old be  hney eran n pot andletk SS BLMBLT  ttng readng the newpaper alod to ISTT the renh ad he  twe ntrrpted by a T n a age; the T ay nythng n the paper?  reeve a glare of reprooffro MISS BLBLTT and then the parrot ay orry and MISS BLMNBL read fro the paper MISS BLMBLTT  '   n dorn th cn of un Autran c  do not mak th rror of confun c octy  octy n nra t th xam of th Roman Emr  vr for u Whn tho ho rum to t tandard ar n to hav aandond dcnt yan vau for th dnrat our of an an cutur  ay nouh  nouh W hav nothn aant th Cc rac a uch W ar aurd tat th Ct hav a on and ocur htory and hav mad t conuon to cnc and th art uch a t  But th ay ar not ou ay and  cannot ut condmn th nfatuaon t th araran aroqu uvr of Sr Watr Scotch and h k t  a mora u   .

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a's  v wll b i don' so m advisng HnngS ndaws in  sam a. Hadl com il fa LSETTE Oi adam 'adl lk  ms. Bu ow l i is o o g no iving. MISS LUA  n'  wa as and.  broinlaw's l d said a  was snng Ma o  saf king oda  was loong fowd o sing  d cild again af s n s. S  nd m mo smaq an Zang as bargaind fo. H fa is js lk m own.  oo know wa i is o av lovd and o av bn saad om  man o sol m a  .  LS O adam 'o  long fo a m o sal mn 'Ow   kno n i 'ans? MSS LUMENAT Yo  kno nv a Wi m i  on a orsam in  Banosass . . .  cn s w in bloom . .  H sa do oosi m O s m.  sld LISET Wa and o ' ada? MSS LUNATT H md o bn sos and go knockd down b a ram cong  o a. B i as sll lov and i as sl saraon. 'll nv forg  ain as  assd o of m viw fo v (oaching sond of bawling) s a os ol nx doo ang  bagis agan? SETT    is a cooon osid.   go o s. (he goes and iediate the CONSTALE ents,  IE and CISTOPR befoe hi. CSTOPR  sti dessed  a gil in the stol cotth cloak fo the estaant he cloak   siila to the  w by  CONST n ou go d no ans.  Somon s gong o a o s. CONST a m o   an'? CSTOP ' no  wo ou    ' no vn  wom o think is  woman o    MSS LA (ing to  feet) o wa   owd  scn o Ausi xcs? (cea o stage COACN ts th ISE e 

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shlde shin e ish bles istt sa CONSTBE o ou oss  COCAN  (in LISETT dn A tous aoogis    eas isg      a igt o ts ts o igtst sta isig o ti s iig aus LISETTE Wait (LISETTE isses hi fl n he h. At ast  COACMAN  (ihl raed Ae ou a goe? LISETTE  a a go ou a oss COACN  ae te est ai of stuts of a oaan i te it  (LISETTE sns in his a (eildeed Wat d  sa? LISETTE (evivin oigt,  iow wi be oe MISS BLUMENLATT Wo ae  tese eoe? Wat e te doig ee? CONSTABLE  M isuos ae tat tis oue ae o emain ee u te aia of o boteiaw MISS BLUMLATT: Wat? S tis at be te oug woma? INBER Of ose se ist CISTOPR: And  a oe it IERL if se as to ( CRISTOPR At te se time we dot wa to be tae fo omeoe wo eaes soit to a is bis CONSTLE  ae a ee ee fom ou boteiaw wi exais MISS BLUNBLATT Lt me ae it. (CONSTABLE hands he ZANGLER ee CONSTABLE  statio sf o t fot stes, ad wt fo o oteia (CONSTABLE exis WEINERL a aes  Now ou a see tat  fied ad  ae te inot is of a oie fo te ie of wi wo exode te edibiit of a oi oea (MISS LUMENBLATT fnishes edin lee MISS BLUMNLATT (din up he lee A-ow  ue std

IBE  gooSS BUEB Liee    you kno hee e kep he n  boen bicu Tke he cochm ino the kchen d gie m one. ISE Oui, Mdme W zi w ISEE exis foowed by he COC IE We m be going-e hve  ong y o ge home SO Ye, nd omebd l ough o give u u e o o ouble ISS BUEB ag hei way) So ! You e no ig hee IBE Wh! SO I wn' o u Don' be u SS BUE akes hi io a ebace) ISS BUB M de pey cild-o coe I don' blme you  You e i exctly lke  own I hppened o me on  hoem in e Bnhosse WEIE You men, he minue yu go on i ook o like  oce? SS BU I m oe Oh, ou hve behved clel bu wh cn gin he owe o love? d you, i, ou hve much o ne o bu do no give u hope. I  no the om ou hin I m. SO Wh? You don' men WEIE O coue he don'Mdme, od ou ind elig u exctl wh i in h lette? I BU Onl h ou would exe  oive d  ie hen hi vigin niece h been bdued b  nooiou Don Ju. IE He'  ong bou me  he i bou he. CISO Wonge  hg ISS BUE O coe he i Hve no  I  ee you ied in he moning BE ih hikig) T ou N1  we ough  whe' o og, nd I'd le o ee on i, elewhehe doobe  hea) SS BUEB hs) Liee! he kiche doo ope s ad ISEE appeas

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breahng heav her ad's ap bak o fron he aran rbbo fallng over her fae he arhes  he door) By th y dd th ochmn tk th bsct LITT H s tkng t no Md (he ope he double doors and goes o he ueen fron door.) MI BLUBLTT (o CHRITPR hs y b yo ncl CITPR Non too soon WIB sl cl thngs p LITT appears wh MLCHIR    on th oth hnd myb t ont LI hs m nssts on bng dd (he onnues owards he kihen and leaes whou ereon) MLR Fn Blmnbl  MI BLUBLTT l s? WIRL and CITPR are naural rped and daed) CTPR htsIBRL gls svnt MLCHIR  My mploy hs snt m hd to xpln to yo tht ths yong copl ho got nto th coch  not ll th yong copl (e noes IBRL and CITPR    ts thm MI BLULTT O cos ts thm LCIR Not only s t th ts hm MI BLUMEBLTT Do yo ko ths n H Sonds? WIBERL looks around n surprse and hen realzes ha he s be addressed) WEIBRL Sonds? CITPR Mrs lov Sh mst tn m MI BLULT hts t m M? CITPR (ankng fan) Oh v got t IBRL (erred)  tn  gv t to o LCHIR Shm on o s  MI BLULTT Dont b mprtnnt MLR Bt ths n sMI BLUMLTT  kno l bot tht LCHIR My mploy s oblgd to py ths mns b MI BLUMEBL ht b? MELCHIR o sv th lds o bng trd ov to th

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poe MSS BLUNBLATT Wha lade? MLCOR And no he go anoher one (o CRSTOR on have dnner wh h,  hell aer you beore he deernohe deer you beore he aa MSS BLUMNLAT Wha  all h nonene? Who en you? MLCHIOR Your brohernaw, Herr Zangler He mook  ma for ond, and h lady for h ne I Exal ! o he wan you o e u go before he ge here MSS BLUMNBLATT Bu ha he ea ooe of wha  ay n h leer (o MLCHOR oure obvouy no o be ued ( doorbell oun ai) (hou) Lee! LISTT ner in een ore dirr nd oe o open he door) MLCHOR Th mu be Herr Zangler LGTNNG hnne e) CHRSTO ghnng     (o WNBRL Are you a goer NBRL I am a goer! INBRL r o clib ou o indo hen LSTT reenr) LIS err Wenber  here NBRL ha one le or he indoill e pue) NBRL Wenber? RL pu hi e bk ino he ro) MSS BLUMNBLAT  Herr Wenber how m n A horougly reable m, Ive heard Zangler peak of hm WINBRL Have you? MSS LUMNBLAT on onern youre ou haven a are n he orld LS reppear h SONDRS LIS Herr Wenberl LS ak a dined bu deerined exi o  kcJn SONDR bo) SONDRS adam, my apooge for alln o lae Wenberl.  BLULA I deghe o make o auane 67

t m ntroduc you to rr Sondr. WEINBER and SONERS scrtiniz ach othr ssiciosly) r Sondr    rr inbr. rr inbrl    rr Sondr But rha you to rdy kno ach othr. WEINER ty) I dont bliv Iv had th honor. SONERS No, I dont bliv o. SONES is f awar of ISOR who is hidin his fac in his hood) NE rachs for HRISOHER's hand and kisss it MEHIOR is zzld and mrs o hi) MEHIOR  Madam, it   SONERS Mari nd I ut av idiaty. rr Zanglr h changd hi id nd inutd  to ta Mari ay Co on, y dar, you uncl i aing or uMISS BUNBA Jut on mont, r inbr Kindy dit om ordring ol in and out o my hou a  it r  bzing cckooclock. Mri han to b in ov th rr Sondr. SONERS ll, y nd n MEHIOR Excu m    MISS BUMENBA hos) Y nd no Th momnt thy mt h  boluty bold ovr. It i omtng I  undrtd bcau hr t i rcily my on, xct that in my  it   horam in th Bahnho. SONERS You r  ov by  tm? MEHIOR Mdm    SS BUMENBA Furthrmor on only h to ook t r Sondr to  that h i no Don Ju. Look into hi y. I hav n mor achry in  cockr nil. h taks WEIER  th arm and t asid to confr with him) Th i t  mut do. I  nd Znglr  mag th  Wnbr to com hr d    NE is makin sidlon attmts to cat ISOR's attt SOR is cn from t ossbiliy) SONERS Mar  . . M . . . Who i th imotor? o .  .? anwhil HIOR is sctinizin NERS from closr ran)

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MLCHOR Maa . .    SONDES Ho e yo M BLNBL: ha .   MELCHOR e  e re ipoe  SONER a oe  an an o are yo MS BLMENBA (To ONDER o ean yo on kno hi An e been png ielf abo a Zangler' ervan   kne e an o be rue  Shouts) Liee The kitchn door cashes open, EE sways in he doorway glazed, discreetly disarayed, utterly changed, and goes to he door.) Feh he onabe in here. SEE asses through on he errand like a prased dun. To MLCHOR  a aving you arree. MEHO Aght) Me M BLMENBL For ale imperonaion MLCHOR: Ti plae i eeing i au   am abou  ony person hre ho in preening o be oebody el The ONSE enters SE remains outsde.) ONSE a an  o for you, Maa M BMLA Appreend hi peron. LCHOR ah yoelf, afoo. ONSE Have a e Conable. BLNBLA  ean re h. SODES Ge rid o hi. NBE Y h  a enae. SE now apears in he doorway) SEE Herr Zangler  pary M BLMNBL : Sho i in In he momen beween  annunemen and E entry OR WNB and HSO eave e room by deren roues but ih identia tming. WEE eaves   indow SO oes u t sars SOES eaves  e himney  osbe E  in ith  O and   o h arm and  /oon  OSE paes bu sti eeps od of O SE out aus goes srah b    E: Here e e, beer a h eer

6

AO ' a re b, en? LCOR O a gdnZANGLE rt g t Le  nce  ace a m ance fre rau Fr-Fr Beba    MSS BLNBLA can ZANGLER And   m wd, Mae MSS BLNBLATT  u ur? ZANGLER  wdng  tmrw MISS BLNLATT ookng ond and nong t abn) at ne t H n and   ? ZNGLER  N e weddngm wdng MSS BLNBLATT uc t? ZANGLER m nt ng Md K ut f m gt u wer rred   m n  a t cb gt m Mcr b t gru? MSS LMENBLATT u me  -? LCIOR O, t  w  m ZANGLER H m nt f c  CONSTAL eleases MLCIOR) MELCOR Ad d u   man cd nbr? ZANGLER  a LR r   ? ZANGLER At m fat p b t p MLCIOR  t m c MS ISCR nb t tat  am f-? ME KNO t w   n t t cun w t ur ct  MSS LNLATT Nt  tt ct t  d jut k M? S FISCR  m f t  ZANGLR u  c't   b MISS LLAT    LCIOR  td u t t   ISR t  m c ub ZANGLR , w  c  t ?   ? MISS BLLATT H   ut  d t d  pn ZANGLR ses o and og he wndow.) ZANGLR M d   ut but t  m m p  f    b   z 70

LCOR is hlpng ZANGLER u hrugh h wndw, nd h ollows) MELCOR isppring) Ca! (unds  ZANLER nd MELCO rhng rund h grdn  KNO wchs r h window) MME KNORR (ond) In't he atef Dd yo note the  MR CER  t I pefe h to yo t hband Eena MME KNORR h ye h had to e feet poo fd    MI MENLATT What hapened to h  KNO He ot knoked don b  hoeta n the Bahoftae MI LNL in)

M LMENL' grd A high wl runing acoss h sg wih  d s ino i h id o MI LML' hous oo i hus r gard pp bdroo window ZNGLR and CIOR a  i w bing h bushs ZGLER The aden  opetey ed n and the ate  oked bt thee no n of tem What happened to te oahm? CIOR He ve thk th te pomad apaent ZNGLR: We he uppoed to eman otde MELCIOR: He dn't ant to fhten the ho ZANGLER : Te  to bg  oah ond to the gate If e et o no e be home b t ht Wenbe ont be expeng me bak o , I th m on te hop If t the ame Wenbe, he nhed  hgha oeI e to t LI  h ad o  ho i a c igh pi o h op do) L: Mone ! One of te peo  ed to m oom ZGR: Lok te doo on ! : The peon he ha oked t ZGLR: eak t do! I I have nothe key 71

(LIETT AGLER and LHOR p bak no h hous cosng h door and avng h gadn dak agan WEIERL cos ou o hdng. oongh) WEINERL: (hsprng oudy) Chrsopher! ( ooks round vany HRTOR s a h upsars wndow howvr) HRITOHER: ( hsprng oud) Herr Wenberl! WEIERL: Is ha you? ITOR Y! WEIERL: Were are you? HRITOHER: Hereand soeones ryng o unloc he door! WEIERL: Can you ge do? ITOR: No Can you ge over he wall? IERL: No We're done or I' sorry Crsopher HRITOR: I wasn' yo aul  Wenberl Than you or everyng I was a wonder razzle WIERL: Yes No bad really To he w em ITOR: ( rgn) There's soebody con bed yo! (WEIERL gos back no hdng. ODER approachs cauous wh a addr. OER ookng around n h dark.) OER: ( hprs) Mie •   TOR: Augus!  , , OER ook up and ss h.) ODER: Mie ! Courage mo aour  I have a ladder ITOR: ( nw) Frs class ! ODER: Is ha reay you? HRITOR : (hangng ack) Oh Aus i's o proper! OER: I's you ! Courage y e cabbage( pus h add up agans h wndow.) Trus me! HRITOR: I , I will! (RITOR cos down h addr ) ODER: Have you go he docuens? TOR: Wha? ONER: Have you go he documens? ITOR: Wha docuens? ODER: You ca' have orgoe he docuens I gave you i he ra 72

ROPR: O oe documen  ONDE Wel wee e ey? COPR pons dramaay upwar)  ave o go and ge em ONDER mbs up LGHNNG whnnes o-sage) CHROPR Lghnng COPR and WEERL ake add o he wa h hear he oah approahngh hde again behn he summerhoe he COCHN mbs rom hs oah  o he wa and hears LEE sream) COCHN Lee  Oh hee a adde  N mbs down he adder akes  o he ww and imbs hrough no LEEs edroom where h oudy enouns ONDE A  sam me he door rom he house s ung open I reees in a hgh sae o exemen ZNGLER LCHOR  KNORR  FCR MRE and M BLUNBL) ZNGLER Tee' a adde  Tey've go away  Unoc e gae  M BLUMENBL  orward ih a arge key and noks he ae in h wa) Wee e oacm? rom he now darkened bedroom ONDER wearn  CON's ha and oak desen by he adder verybody ese exep M BLU L who s hodn  gae en  psng hrough  wa and sraigh ino h neror o he oah ousde he gae ME is  in he que ONDER removes he adder rom he ndow and pes i agains he wa) ONDER o E) Coage my ng  gps and pses hroh ino he oah OER goes up he dder an akes  CON's sea body is no inside  oh whh depars LGNG whinnes osage) COPR Lghnng LGHNNG ens COPHER mouns up and WERL ea m o) ER Gddy p Lgnng  exi)



ZANGLER hop INBRL and CHRISTOR arrive on LIGHTNING. he oah  now een hrough he pane of ZANGLER hop window he oupan are a unpaing hemelve fom he inerior SONDRS ge down from he oah ZANGLER  NORR MRS ISCR IE and MELCHIOR diappear noii from iew and en he ZAGLER premie o age. one of h  epeial expli. he age i main oupied, of oure by he empy ineror of he hop.  i ear ming and he hop i no open ye INBRL and CHRISTOPHER  he hop door from he oude, uueful. here i a deperaion abou hem and hey diappear from iew. eanwhile, ZANGLER h been heard from wihin houing for WEINBERL. ZANGLER (age) The're not ut the're not owntr- the're not n the ho we've ot them (he rap door in he oor ope and CISTOPR emerge. e drop he rap door  ZANGLER hurrie ino he hop. ZANGLER  oma aken bak by eeing STOPR.) Aht' ou CISTOPR: Goo mornn, Herr Zler (e goe o he ree door and ar unboling i.) Jut oen u, He Zner  ZAGLER here' enberl? CISTOPR He' here Herr Znler ZANGLER: here? CISTOPR here? ZANGLER , where? CISTOPHER o men, where  he now, Her Zner? ZANGLER  (mpaienly) Y CISTOPR Her enber-? ZANGLER Ye!-ere  Herr Wenberl now, o numkull  (INBERL plum u of e ue an ae behind   oner in  ng poson.) INBERL Goo mornn, Her Zler ZANGLER Shut u  enberl   • M e elow    I touht    (here i a gal  n. ir SO en fro he ree door whih h u be opene  ISTOPR.



R entrs from the ho, folod   KNOR  FICR and CHIOR) o ONDR Wha do o wan . . .  ie . . . pa he coachan om he ll. RIE goes to the til and ONDR goes to her ZANR 's attenton turns to D KNORR and MR ICR. MR ICR reats to INR's presene behind the ounter and she approahes hi so that only th ount is beteen the eanhil DE KNORR is taking i the prese of CITOR) a I preen m h per, Herr Weinbl. We owe him an apolog I eel  . . nd m cie l ai, aer Criopher .  . adame Knorr    m ce, he re Fra Zangler: he wedding i omorrow CHRITOHR: Congralaon. Haen we me beore ZANE: Wha  KNO: o CITO: o, I hogh no. ZANER: O core o haen T i he r e ha adame Knorr ha had he riiege o being wep rond he heap o m mp re CHRITOR: Tha er wel p Cie ZANER: I don men he heap o m cmp e. CHRITOR : Hped rond he cene o o memor ZANER: o CITOHER: Sqired ond he hb o o empire. ZANER: Tha he bo-hi i he  me adame Knorr ha had he priilege o being qired rod he hb o m empire-Wha do o hin o i all Egenia Raher empric eh-Eer modern conenience-a pring oaded cah ow o noc or ee o d o ha o ( emstrats t h aist mahi, hih koks OE's ha .) Snder OE: He ge ZAN: Ill k him IE Oh, Unce h BEIA FOREI ters from th strt, rather dramatial)

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FOIGR He Sonde ! (ebod stops and gives him their attention) OER Go wyo God ke re you l dogging me o  mierle unpid hil? OREIGER  He Soder ! I  coming om Brue   comig rom he le o yo evely depred n OER Wh? FOREGR  you  i mored! OER Moed? FOIGER A  doo n OER My  ! ow dredul ! You men my der unie in Brue h unorunely ped wy? FOIGR (ointing to OER) Thi mn i oo ich  Oh oh drig do hi men   ? OE (o GLER.) Si  •  GLER u in i? OER Au GLER Augu o coue!    my de   . (o FOGR.) How much exly   ? Wel neve mid o now- hink we  deeve  chpge rek re ou le monde! (houts Gerud! Buly  roud! GERTRU enters.) Where hve you een? GERTRU Fechig he po GLER ereo  Bollinge  GERTRU Youe upse I cn el GLER Ge ou nd cch he po-o GERTRU Pck my gGLER No GERTR Pop e corkGLER Th he oy-ge ou d pop he cork GER exits) We hve wo hppy couple o o e ll Mrie i o morggele ge d Augu-(?} ER no.) Augu here i  cedi To hi profeion Wh e you in y he wy? OER Rik cpl miy I hi cle GLER ve you hough ou ighcl proiio? OER Wel open  ccoun  oon  wee mried 76

ZNLR: Opn an account? Tush man com n h m and oull at holsal for th rst of our lf  And thats othr tng August  . . (pious I hant got long  . . SONDRS: (risk W ought to  gong too ZNLR: On da August th Zanglr mpr ll nd a n hand  th -no. SONRS : On th r. ZNLR: Thats m o RU ers wih ray) ZNLR: -lt th st gass  for th on ho has ntrd m f d chgd m fortun. (ives rs gass o FORINR an hen o ONDRS an  KNORR RTRU caries ray own he ine ZNLR: Mar    Frau Fschr   . m fathfu ptnr rr Wnrl. RTRUD : (o INRL Thrs a lr for ou rr Wnrl. (he gves WINRL a eer whih is of neres o MRS FICR ) ZNLR    nd m Chf Ss Assstant Chrsophr  g ou th Grocrs Compan  LL: Th Grocr' Compan ZNLR: ou   a calr too Jul. ONDRS: Aut ZNLR : August   .  ou can ha m old uform RUD: (o WINRL Od unformh ou craf old    ZNLR: What s t? RTRUD : Tntthr Crlsass. ss Bumnlatts. ZNLR: Wr a ou n? RTR exis) ZNLR: rr Wnrl    ould ou sco Frau Fschr? ou mght com r acquantd  FISCR: I am alrad l acquantd th rr Wnrl. ZNLR: ou ? : our not  ou? MRS ISCR: o  ou sa that aftr rng m a thos romanc lrs Scaouch WINRL: Egant d nd For ZNLR: Wll hee app coups to toast I l 77

(nter RUD) RTRUD  Beakfast is seve. ZANR: hk you Geu. (e strts to ed everybody out M ICHR brngng up the rer.)-ugea ONDR Maie WINR: May I take you in Hilegae?  ICR Youve been taking me in fo months He Webel  ICR exts. IR nd CHRITOPR ebrce wth (preture) reef ZANR : (utsde) Melchio (WINBR nd ITOPHR sutneous reze tht they oud st be undone.) INB: Melco (ut HIOR pproches wth chpgne botte rechrges WIRs nd CHRITOPHRs gsses, produces  thrd gs fro hs pocket s t nd tosts the) CHIOR: Qassic (CHIOR goes out. INR nd ITOPR go to ther paes behnd th count. hey drnk  ent tost hey ook t ech other) ITOPR: (s I) I ont think you kno my wfe  (INR sputter wth peasure.) IN: (s ITOPR) We wan the bes e n te house an we want it now (hey sputter joyfu nd pue ech other about th houders) ITOPR (s MI BUNBTT) He Weinbel-He Snes-He Snes, He Weinbel    IR (s ONR) Miewho is  imoso? (ut ther joy eporte mot mmedtey.  gh nd reahe for th broom) Wel .   y cie saes ssistt    Woul you o me e onou    (e bow nd oers the broom whch ITOPR tkes ) he street door opens to dt  s UIN) MUIN: e you the goce, you eminence? IR I believ I a s

GAMN I undeand ou ave an opening o an ppeniep n e goe ade W I beeve  ae  Te ueu apin w eeve a ooug aning n goe geen goe auee weg and eaue okakng ndow deng deb ed and peona gene Te ou ae o dawn o dak and e pa  ix guide pe on e ou gude o boad and odgng one gude o aund and one gude pu ade n ou nae agan ong and beaage Woud a be aao? GN Ye  I nk a oud be aao WN Have ou an oea expeene? GAMN I ave been ie odng o ead oude e Dog and Duk  Bu I   own ae and an eave a an e WN Cope Gve  e boo AGN Jyfully O-an ou  (CHSTOP gves  te br) W You  nd e a en ae bu a a one I n I ave oe epuaon n e eanie wod o ute tere s a rar f  ebel fr ZANG) ause grave) Eue e I a aa n enna eeda and ee ae ae o du   pne e eaves) GAMN enna Have ou eve een o ea ? SOP Me? O e. Good Lod O oe GN Wa   ke ? SOP areesy ea? We    . g ea) ondeu h GN sees t furus egt HSO ates m)

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PERSONAL PROPS CUSTOMER

German newspaper  coin

MISS BUMENBATT

Spectaces (W) CONSTABE

Truncheon 'Scribble etter (white paper) White envelope addressed toMiss Bumenbatt, 23 Carlstrasse Vienna SONDERS

Document (pink ribboned) Coin Note pad for message in "zinger ADY N BACK

Cigar (slim panatela) Matchescigar type in back bag BEGUM FOREIGNER

Spectacles (W) MECHOR

2 fat cigars - punctured t smoking end Testimonia (wting cear) folded in four Matches  smal nonsafety - in right hand waistcoat pocket GERTRUD

Scissors on chateaine Brown duster ZANGER

Spectacles (W) Pocket watch (W) (W) - Wardobe

So

Large gold coin - give o desse & spe on s. pops

le IETTE

Bunch of keys Speccles W) WEINBE

Scile lee lue ppe) Blue enveope 3 o  sps in lehe lle Speccles W) CITOPE

Duse - in pon

SECON POPS LIS

  p L watch     ward ra  dust jug of nk fsh bottng papr ak fows p HB scssors on hatan     wad Coat hang  od costum  ps boots boot cp at top

13 On Zangrs dsk from C/U: Cgars n bo matchght vas handb bott pns nkw pap nvops Cash bo  cons  papr mon In top ft daw of dsk Bgan mans cas  documnt aors dumm  nw ostum Sw ja of soft swts p JC pns tap masu b p BMc pnc p MK tstmona cgas n cas matchs p L cons pnc nz

  Sack of bans wth schnapps bott ng n top Hav unopnd sack fom ca 2 schnapps gasss 2 unchpacks rappd n nwspap Prts on sand l p pf Whsk Worstd stockng + cons Jar of omops ? Wrttn tt bank nvop Ink pn bottr Larg swt jar of cand stcks p RB wat  stamps

5 Woodn sgn Bo Wantd

6 Notng yet

7 Vey study bouquet as key on poe Bee mug gaettes and mates n bay tn

8 abe on ape Indoo wateng an p RM notebook  pen

  dty offee ups and saues   napkns  lqueu gasses 4 tabe ots 4 knves foks bead knfe soup spoon (desset foks minimum 8 wne sts 8 menus  empty tays  tays fed dty dses 5 tays fed food to be seved Tay  ds of fake obste themdo  ds of fake chcken Tay  bee  pkes fo  Vey lage tay  lobste themdo seved on 4 pates  dsh of ken obste  upstage pat of ccken s eaten 4 plates same sze as above Plate of adshes 4 champagne gasses Botte of champagne opened evey ngt Ie bucket  ce loo stand fo e buket 3 small vases of flowes Basket of fowes