Situational Writing (Sec 3E) Situation: Situation: To prepare a speech to persuade the Principal, Principal , in a SUITABLE tone tone,, with possible Suggestions for Community Involvement Projects. Model 1: from Sec 3I7 (Adapted and Enhanced from Sajeev Suppiah ’s work.) PARAGRAPHS Good morning Mr Singh and members of the school’s management. My name is Sajeev and I’m from class 3Inspiring7. As a student leader, I am here today to share some suggestions for the most ideal community involvement programme that all the students of our school can take part in. Before I dive into more details, I would like to mention that a group of dedicated student leaders have come together in discussion and sourced for some local organisations that, we feel strongly, would provide would provide good opportunities to shape us in becoming caring ambassadors of the community.
The Singapore Cancer Society and the Jurong Bird Park are two establishments establishments that are able to provide us a suitable platform platform for volunteerism and contribution. Firstly, allow me to share about how we can work hand in hand with the Cancer Society. In Singapore, cancer has made its way to become one of the leading illnesses that takes lives. As volunteers, we would be able to provide hope and light up the lives of cancer patients. We could assist in the on-going fundraising projects, research and public education of cancer. In addition, we can render render help in improving patient services and the quality of lives of the patients. In the process, process, we would be able to gain knowledge in finding out more about this perilous disease and understand how the afflicted thinks and feels. Certainly, Certainly, we can benefit immensely immensely through heightened awareness of the ill-fated disease disease and become responsible citizens as citizens as we reach out to others with compassion and love. My second suggestion would be for us, students, to take on the on the roles of ambassadors of conservation at the Jurong Bird Park. This experience would allow us to participate as dynamic spokespeople for the wildlife, conduct guided guided tours, and enjoy sharing animal facts and information with visitors. Many of us know Singapore to be flourishing, however to turn into a concrete jungle. While we urbanise rapidly, it would be good for students to start demonstrating what we can do to conserve the environment. There is a popular phrase that should constantly goes ‘Keep Myopia at Bay, go outside and play’. We should constantly remind ourselves that we have to take time away from the computers to look at the greenery, plants, flowers and trees. As conservation
COMMENTS Start politely. State
your purpose of speech State briefly what you have done and what Common mistakes: mistakes : I’m here to persuade you about you about the need for us to do community project. (lack sincerity) Have you wondered why the why the previous programmes have not been so beneficial? (Diesrespectful Tone) Do NOT ask many Do NOT personal questions for a formal audience, eg Principal, teachers.
platform
= opportunity render
= provide
TIP: The last 4 lines aim to sum up, as up, as the LINK,, the benefits LINK benefits of of the involvement with cancer society to make it convincing. Effective persuasion is persuasion is achieved with the use of the BOLD, BOLD, UNDERLINED words to enhance persuasion.) take
on (accept)
Elaborate by
explaining (PEEL)
use of ‘should’ suggests that it is an important thing that ought to be done.
ambassadors, we would be able to learn how we can conserve co nserve our land and wildlife. The guided tours would also allow us to speak with invaluable = = very invaluable many people. It is certain that we will be able to gain invaluable valuable public speaking skills skills and get up-close up-close with the wildlife at Jurong up-close = very Bird Park. We would definitely be dead excited and excited and look forward to a to a close, in contact with unique learning experience like this. Alternatively, Alternatively, we could also also consider getting involved in a ‘Clean and Green’ project. This would remind us not to take our clean and green neighbourhood for granted. Apart from cleaning up our classrooms, corridors, and toilets, we can take a step further by joining the National Parks Parks (NParks) in beach cleaning efforts efforts and perhaps to even clean up the new park connectors perhaps connectors that surround our school. We could also interview the cleaners to learn about the hardships they face as they go about their their daily routine to ensure our neighbourhood is tidy and clean. This could even double up as our ‘Values-In-Action’ (VIA) project. In addition, I would propose that we organise a project that reaches out to the under-privileged under-privileged of our society. We need not look very far far to realise that there are many elderly in homes who need the company and love of the community. As responsible citizens, we can organise trips to visit them, interact with them, use our talents to perform for them, and, and , above all, be their pillars of strength. This would allow us to become shining examples as caring ‘warriors’ of the community. ‘warriors’ of the
‘Additionally’ or Use ‘Additionally’ ‘Alternatively’ to start off a paragraph for ‘Other’ points of your own.
Use ‘perhaps’ perhaps’.. Don’t use ‘maybe’! A lot of students use ‘maybe’ in writing. ‘Maybe’ is more useful in oral communication. Use ‘perhaps’ in your writing. go
about = to do something/ carry out
double up = up = kill two birds with one stone (pri school idiom)
, above all, : show overall importance of something and serves to persuade listener/ reader.
Summing up my speech, I hope that hope that you would kindly consider the suggestions the suggestions that I have put forth for forth for the benefit of of our students and the school at large. large. The community deserves contribution from committed and responsible citizens and I hope that, with the ideas mentioned, mentioned, we, Serangoon secondary students, can truly serve and build our community. (shows positive enthusiasm and closure)
Very polite tone in conclusion.
have put forth: have mentioned. (Vary: don’t always use ‘mentioned’)
Note to 3I7 students:
I’ve enhanced Sajeev’s well -thought-out ideas to keep them clear and succinct. The model above serves as a guide for us to understand: (1) The Points and method for Elaboration needed Elaboration needed to keep the suggestions CLEAR and easily UNDERSTOOD. (2) Good LANGUAGE USE (underlined bold words) that would help you do better in scoring Language Marks (20 marks) (3) You may have your own style and flavour of writing. However, do note that the bold words will help you achieve writing with an appropriate tone that tone that can convince. convince.
