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This Book is dedicated to the Community.
Copyright Pickup Evolution LLC., All Rights Reserved. Pick-Up Evolution is a trademark of Pick-Up Evolution LLC. You agree to all of the following by accepting and reading this: You understand this to be an expression of opinions and not professional advice. It is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes. You are solely responsible for the use of the ideas, concepts, and content and hold Pick-Up Evolution LLC. and all members and affiliates harmless in any event or claim.
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Take this book for what it is. Simply it is Knowledge and Nothing more. Knowledge is power, BUT it is not skill. Power to act, but it will not bring you Wisdom. To get true wisdom you must experience the journey for yourself. Experience the journey through good times and the bad times. You will Live through the experience and become better.
To succeed you must ACT. Act repeatedly even when it seems like you are getting no result on the outside. You are cultivating your inner world every time you step up and take action. Don’t chase the end result. Life is not a Destination, it is a journey. Take action.
Take it now and don’t wait for another day to pass you by. Take action even when you think it seems like it is not working. Take it especially when you think it is not working and before you know it… YOU will accomplish your Goals.
Legend and Edge www.pickupevolution.com
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“This kid always has girls with him”
- Pat (Hartford, CT)
“Simply Amazing”
– CJ (Boston MA)
"They showed me that girls are like locks proving himself to be a true locksmith. Whether you are looking for a girlfriend or a one night stand he'll show you how to hook them and always get your way."
- Brandon (Hartford, CT)
“You can talk your way into anywhere, you act like a prince.”
- Jason (Boston, MA)
“You guys have the best parties, how do you get so many girls to come over?” – Greg (Boston, MA) “I thought you knew those girls already.. like old friends” “I have never seen so many girls in one place”
– Andrew (Boston, MA)
“You have a way of always getting what you want, amazing.” “Again!!!! You have a different girl every night” "You've really got your stuff together."
– Eugene (Boston, MA)
– Jason (Miami, FL) – CP (Boston, MA)
- Mystery of VH1's The Pickup Artist
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Introduction About the Authors
Edge - Has spent the last 9 years of his life wrapped in the seduction community. He devotes his life to self-improvement and helping those around him. He practices Yoga and meditation.
Legend – Has spent the last 3 years of his life falling down the rabbit hole. He is known for his fury, fire, and un-surmountable ego. He spends his time improving his life and living his dream.
This book is the culmination of our experiences through 2008. It is written in the form of a guide, but the information within every chapter was gleaned using the tools in the real world and then writing down how we would have wanted someone to explain them to us. This guide strives to put pick-up and seduction into a simpler light. I have found that the simpler things usually work better. There is no reason to over complicate things. This guide is written in short chapters. Practice and internalize them one at a time and you will achieve the results you are looking for.
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Index
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Section 1: The Basics……………………..…12 Part 1: Introduction ………………………………………………………………….15 Part 2: Setting Goals and Expectations ……………………………………….…….22 Part 3: Beliefs, Mindset, Female physiology, and Creating Confidence…….…….27 Part 4: Body Language and Eye contact ………………………...………………….33 Part 5: Learning to Start Conversations and Open …………………….………….38 Part 6: Dealing Approach Anxiety and Fear ……………………..…….......…….45 Part 7: Dealing with Groups and Group Dynamics ……………………….……….51 Part 8: Staying in Conversation and Hooking ………………………….………….54 Part 9: Getting the Number ………………………………………………………….60 Part 10: Connecting, Building Comfort, and Rapport ………………….………….64 Part 11: Bringing it all together ………………………………………….………….69
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Section 2: Taking it to the Next Level……….73 Part 12: Talking on the Phone, Phone game, and TXT message game …………….74 Part 13: Dates and Day 2’s …………………………………………………………….80 Part 14: Touching, Kino, Escalation and Sexual Escalation ………….…………….85 Part 15: Indicators of Interest ( IOI’s) ……………………………………………….90 Part 16: Where you are now ………………………………………………………….94
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Section 3: The Advanced Applications… 98 Part 17: Avoiding and Dealing with Sticking Points …………..…………………….99 Part 18: Framing and creating strong Frames …………………….……….……….103 Part 19: Qualification and Eliciting Values ……………………………..…….…….108 Part 20: Attraction …………………………………………………………..….…….114 Part 21: Value as a concept and Demonstrating Higher Value (DHV) …….……..121 Part 22: Story Telling …………………………………………………………….….124 Part 23: Teasing, Negging, Disqualification, and Breaking Rapport …………….127 Part 24: How to create and use Push Pull …………………………………….…….131 Part 25: Advanced Rapport, Comfort, and Connection …………………….….….136 Part 26: Dealing with Guys and Amoging ………………………………………….139 Part 27: Plowing an Advanced Look ……………………………………………….142 Part 28: Pulling Girls from the Club and Bouncing to different Venues …….….145 Part 29: Last minute resistance (LMR) …………………………………………….147 Part 30: Inner Game and solidifying Confidence ………………………….………152 Part 31: Final thought and how to maintain your game …………………….…….154
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Section 1:
The Basics
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Introduction Legend: After receiving so many emails from people looking for a solid place to start in the game, we at Pick up Evolution decided to write an EBook on most important stuff you will need to know to get amazing results in the field. Instead of charging $97 for this book, we wanted to give it away to the community. If we were like the other websites out there I would tell you that it is limited edition and it costs just $97 dollars and it would solve all your problems. Some things in life are limited and sometimes you have to pay, but we wanted to give back to the community.
If you value the information we are providing to you please take a moment and help us out by donating whatever you think it’s worth:
Donate Here: http://www.pickupevolution.com/donate/
There are many free guides available, but in my experience they are sorely lacking in that most of them were published years ago, when pick-up was treated more like a script-dispensing exercise. This is a guide on everything you need to know to have an understanding of the core elements of pick-up.
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With this knowledge and with practice, you’ll have enough skill to pull most girls and get a girlfriend.
If you read through it and practice you should have no problem getting a level of skill where you could have most girls in 3 months if you practice enough. Practice in field is the key to success. We pride ourselves on putting out next generation content and running the best blog in the community providing the most practical free advice. Our Blog has grown to be one of the most popular Blogs in this area of selfimprovement in only six short months. Keep reading, commenting on the Blog and checking back for new stuff we’ll be putting out in 2009 and beyond.
Legend and Edge
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Chapter 1:
Taking Action
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Why You need to take Action Legend: If you’re here reading this, then you are taking the first step to improving your dating life. We all want to change and get better results or you wouldn’t be here. To change you need to take action. It’s not going to come from reading or studying material. Study a little bit and then learn in real life in the field. An hour in the field is worth a 100 hours of reading and watching videos. For many years, we have developed bad habits and society has conditioned us into a walking daze where we don’t take action and go after what we want. Hollywood has conditioned us to always look for happiness in the future. The truth of the matter is if we don’t take action to change our conditions, they will never change. If you follow the steps in this guide you will get your desired outcome. Some areas you will need to work on. Some will come naturally to you. The bottom line is you have to take action and try new things to get results. Every segment will present a new concept for you to study and then go out and practice. If you want to learn, you need to practice this stuff. We’re going to give you the tools that you will need for free. We’re not going to market this e-book into a $97 thing. We are all about sharing the basic information. These are the core concepts of pick-up and seduction, which are hidden and spread around all the forums and websites.
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This guide is our personal understanding of what we have been doing in 2008 in the field. Some of it is basic and some of it is more advanced, but it is easily on par with any other e-book you would pay for.
Don’t over-complicate your life by learning things you won’t need. Keep it simple in practice and you will get results.
This article set is stuff I currently use. It reflects my current understanding and experience wit it.
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Levels of Understanding Edge: When it comes to learning a new skill set or area of study, I believe we have some limiting beliefs in our culture that blocks our potential to really master something. I think it’s easy to assume that if you’re able to respond to questions by spouting back a little fact, you “know” it. And why not? I mean, that’s what school taught us, right? You stay up all night, study study study, then regurgitate the information onto an exam sheet. I can’t tell you how many times I would pass a class only to have forgotten nearly all of the course material the following semester. I want to discuss a concept that revolutionized the way that I thought about learning. I apply this to all areas of self-improvement, but it is especially true in the area of dating, seduction, and pick-up. The concept is depth of understanding. I think we’d all agree that there are some subjects where we have a basic understanding of what’s going on (enough to get by) whereas in other subjects we have a very deep understanding of what’s happening. Our deep understanding in an area grants us the liberty to not just understand or “get by”, but to innovate, to imagine, to strategize and to execute with finesse. And executing with finesse is what we should all be aiming for. I mean, I think all of us know that we can get someone no matter where we are in the game. We’re in it because we want to get the best we can get.
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And since we’re in this to get better results than what we’d been getting, then we need to get a deeper understanding of what we’re working with. I can promise you that anything you feel you have a deep understanding of is something that you have working with extensively over a period of time. You didn’t just read books about it. You didn’t just ask questions on forums. No, you performed within the area you’re studying. You made mistakes. You felt, saw, handled, moved, reacted, strategized, and gained a lot of “real word experience.” Learning to improve with women is no different. You are not going to get a skill from reading a book or watching a seminar. You may get enthusiasm. You may get inspiration. But you won’t get skill, and that is what you want to get. Where do you get skill? In the real world… out there. That’s why Legend and I harp on it time and again. You need to be performing in this area of study to make any kind of progress. It is required… take it from me - I spent WAY too long studying and studying this stuff for years because I was too afraid to actually try it on my own. Embrace mistakes. Embrace confusion. Embrace discomfort, embarrassment, anger, loneliness, sadness, frustration. Embrace all of it because by walking the actual path and actually participating in real life, you will continually be imbued with more and more skill. The more you can embrace taking on real life experiences and handling them, the more that you will have skill.
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As a closing note on this: Being able to do the right pick-up move at the right time is only half of this game. The other half is resilience: Being able to handle everything that comes up, good or bad, and continuing onward. This all comes from experience.
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How to Practice Legend: You are going to need to create goals and follow them. If you want to get good you’re going to have to continually go out and practice. It’s not rocket science, but it will take time. The trick is that only you can hold yourself accountable. I can show you the tools and you can even watch skilled people in the field, but in the end no one else is going to open conversations for you and no one else was going to kiss the girl for you and I certainly can’t have sex with the girl for you.
You’re on your own to do these things.
The key is to do something rather than nothing.
Take small baby-steps toward your goals…… every day …..and…. you will get there.
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Chapter 2:
Setting Goals and Expectations
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Introduction In this section we are going to talk about why it is important to manage your goals. Also we are going to talk about why setting expectations before starting out can help you greatly in your development. Legend: What do you want to get from the dating world? If you want to change yourself you’re going to have to ask yourself what you want to get from the game, then plan accordingly. Every person is going to have a different desired outcome and your tastes and desires most likely will change over time. Different skills are going to be required to get different results. Before you do anything, get clear on what you want. Do you want a girlfriend? You might want to develop a plan of action where you are focused more on day game. By day game I mean meeting women during the daytime in common places and chatting with them. You’re going to need to get really good at creating a sense of comfort and connection, and you’re going to have to go on lots of dates. (Day twos / Day 2s) Do you want your choice of women and to have multiple relationships? If you want to date around, you are going to need a combination of night and day game to give you as many new ways of meeting women as possible. You are going to have to really round out all of your skills.
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Edge: I agree - have as many avenues as possible in your lifestyle to meet women. Go out and meet women during the day: in coffee shops, in bookstores, on the grocery store line, on the subway, on the street, etc. Attend events, groups, classes, fairs, parties… anywhere where people are getting together where there is a common interest (even if the common interest is to just have fun and meet people). Going out to night clubs, bars, lounges, parties, raves, concerts… these are all great things to do at night, though some people do not like the atmosphere. My approach was to master these environments though I did not initially find them enjoyable at all - I like them now that I’ve learned to cut loose and have fun. Legend: Do you want Same Night Lays (SNL) and Threesomes? You are going to want to perfect your attraction game. You’ll be hitting the bars and nightclubs where you’re going to want to perfect fast sexual escalation and be extremely good at handling logistics. Edge: I would also say get comfortable with having women around who are open-minded and fun. Girls you can go out with who won’t mind you flirting with other girls. Having women around you who genuinely enjoy your company and think you’re a good guy makes you very attractive to other women.
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Legend: You have to create an action plan and train for what you want. Decide what you want and then plan accordingly. Don’t try to become a guru at pickup if you just want a girlfriend. You’re not going to need to go out five times a week to become social. You only need a basic skill to get the girl. If you want to start doing crazy stuff, then you have to practice more. Manage your expectations and realize what you really want. You’re not going to need to study for years to get a girlfriend, but if you want to have repeated same night lays or threesome with two strippers it might take a lot more practice, skill, and some dumb luck.
Setting Goals The most important thing about goals is that you write them out, so you can look at them and consistently hold yourself accountable for the goals. If you write them out, you are going to be much more likely to actually accomplish them. Setting goals in a way that you can actually accomplish them is very important. This is why I break goals into two sections.
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1. Over Arching Goals The point of an overarching goal is to set an ultimate desired result for your efforts. It is your main end goal, a goal that could take a month or a year or longer to accomplish. Whatever your overarching goals may be, take time and write them down. 2. Step by Step Goals The purpose of having step-by-step goals is to break your learning into small, attainable chunks and have small goals that you can reach daily or weekly. This way you can consistently see progress toward your overarching goals and keep your motivation to move forward. Write out your step-by-step goals that will allow you to reach your overarching goal. This is the beginning step - don’t forget foundational planning or you will run into problems later. Edge: I would add that it’s important to find as many ways as necessary to “trick yourself” into taking action. Starting to do something is the hardest (and most essential) part. Sometimes I really don’t feel like writing, but I’ll say to myself, “OK, I’m going to sit down and write for 5 minutes and if it sucks I’ll just stop.” Before you know it, I’ve spent two hours writing great stuff! So keep that in mind when you’re stepping outside of what’s comfortable - set an easy first step.
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Chapter 3:
Beliefs, Mindset, Female Psychology and Creating Confidence
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Foundational Beliefs Legend: Myths There are many myths in society and in the pickup community. One of the greatest hurdles I have found is the idea that we can come up with perfect lines and avoid rejection. If you got into the community through Mystery and the VH1 show “The Pickup Artist”, whether it is season one or two or by reading “The Game” by Neil Strauss, then you may have developed some bad habits without realizing it. The community thinking from a few years ago was that the pick-up artist (PUA) can come up with this elaborate routine stack or through patterns that would convey their personality in a way that they would never get rejected. Also that you could have any woman you wanted. The more I study and the more I practice, the more I realize this is not true. I’ve found that to really go out and get good at this, you must “become used to the approach” and embrace rejection. If you can embrace rejection and continually practice and push your comfort zone, you will learn this stuff very quickly. There is no magic bullet, but there is a secret. The secret to getting good is to become confident with women. Now don’t roll your eyes because you’ve heard that before 100 times… I am going to actually explain what this means
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in a way that you can understand concretely and apply in your life later in this article. We have a limited amount of time in our lives and we can use it to cultivate value within ourselves. Society pitches that we need good looks and money to be successful with women. This is not necessarily true. Women want emotional stimulation, so I feel that instead of cultivating your wealth or trying to attain some ridiculous standard of beauty, it is much easier and sensible to cultivate your confidence and humor. What Men Want Let’s look at how men work. When deciding if we are attracted to a woman or not, we look at visual cues. We think logically and step-by-step. To get good with women we need to realize how they work, how they think, and above all what they are attracted to.
What Women Want and How They Work I am going to state this very simply because there is no reason to make this complicated. I would encourage you to read each sentence and contemplate it - what it means, what it looks like, what are the implications. Really contemplate each sentence of the next paragraph.
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Women are attracted to behavioral cues. It takes them longer to select a mate and they think emotionally. It doesn’t matter what you look like, if you can stimulate them emotionally. They look for confidence and humor above all else. This game is all about Creating Confidence and Becoming Competent The number one thing that women want is a confident man. This leads us to the question of how do we become confident with women. It is not rocket science, but it will take time. Being confident is all about being comfortable in any situation and knowing what to do. This really comes down to practicing enough so that you’ve experienced many things and you automatically do the right thing. Edge: I think there are two elements to cultivate here. One is worldliness – exposing yourself to as many different things, situations, circumstances, places and types of people as you can. Openmindedness is definitely a plus here. The other is your ability to handle different situations and circumstances. I have found the best way to get good at this is to: 1) experience a lot of situations, even if they may be uncomfortable, foreign or scary to you at first, 2) stay in the present moment – don’t retreat into your mind, don’t judge things, don’t think about the past, don’t think about the future and stop trying to analyze, strategize and mentally pigeonhole everything. Let new
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experiences wash over you and remember that every new experience is one step towards mastery. There are unpleasant things that I can handle much better now since I’ve experienced them a bunch of times and I’ve learned to deal with them with composure and presence of mind. Being rejected is hard. Breaking up with someone you love is hard. Approaching women when you’re afraid to approach is hard. But it all gets easier as you handle it, learn from it and then mentally “release” the experience (that is, let go of it and not ruminate on it.) Legend: Let’s relate this to something that we can all understand: Driving a car. Almost everyone can relate to driving a car. Think back to when you just started learning to drive. It was extremely scary and you probably had trouble backing up out of the driveway let alone even being able to look in your mirror while signaling. After practicing for days in the parking lot, you are then comfortable enough to take it to the side streets. The highway still scared the crap you. Maybe after a year of solid practice you didn’t have to think about doing everything anymore. Instead, it became natural to merge onto the highway at high speeds or use your turn signals without thinking about it.
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This is how we have to be in order to be good with women. Slowly we have to progressively desensitize ourselves to being around women and being in different situations with them until we are comfortable and all the skills that you’re going to learn come out naturally. This is an experimental process. Don’t expect an overnight transformation, but if you practice you will get good.
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Chapter 4:
Body Language and Eye Contact
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Introduction: Edge: I think a lot of guides on eye contact focus on the mechanics of eye contact itself or ways to use eye contact to be more appealing. I will touch on what I have found to be most effective, but before I do I want to talk about what I have found to be the most essential and most foundational element of eye contact. Speaking from experience, I don’t believe that people worry about their ability to have good, attractive eye contact because they don’t know the mechanics. My belief is that the problem is that eye contact creates a feeling of anxiousness in the aspiring pick-up artist (PUA) and as a result, they reflexively avert their eyes from other people. So what do I feel the key element is to good eye contact? I believe that element to be: Thought. What you think and how you think about it… It’s been said countless times across all cultures throughout time that the eyes are the window to the soul. I think a practical and effective way to interpret that is that people can catch your “vibe” when they look into your eyes. And I believe that your vibe is made from your thoughts and your beliefs. Not what you do, not what you say, but what you “think” in the privacy of your own mind.
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If you are thinking fearful thoughts like the person looking at you is going to do something bad, you’re going to feel anxious when they look at you because you’ll feel like their seeing that. Like they are seeing your insecurity. Or if you think critical, judgmental or mean thoughts of other people, you’ll feel like they’re “catching you” in the act of committing some minor crime against them. Sure, your actions in the outer world may be very nice – you may be polite, considerate and do good things for people. But if you’re judging people in your head in a negative way as a default habit, eye contact will be tough. Another common “thought crime” is being out only for yourself and looking at someone in terms of how you can use them. Your eye contact may not necessarily be bad (as in, you may not avert your eyes when someone looks at you), but you will have the look of a “predator” or someone who is up to no good. So I’ve talked about thought habits that make eye contact hard or unsuccessful. But what do I think is the successful way to think in order to have good, warm, sexy eye contact? Well, in terms of thinking, I make it a habit to think good thoughts of people wherever I go and whomever they are. This takes discipline. It takes practice. I am telling you this as a guy who’s reformed my own thought habits and found it to be quite effective in attracting the women I want. When I’m attracted to a woman, I “breathe in” her beauty through my eyes. When I think about sex with her, I think about it as a giving act that is
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tremendously pleasurable and liberating for her. Thinking of sex in that way (as if you are dangling some delicious that she wants to take a bite of) will get you much further than thinking of sex as a notch on your belt or as a masturbatory aid for you. Plus your sex will most likely be better too. Now that we’ve talked about eye contact and thought, now we can talk about some mechanics of eye contact. I’m a big fan of imitation. Whenever I watch a movie or TV show with a male seducer type of character, I carefully study the actor’s facial expressions, especially during scenes where he’s seducing a woman. I think to myself, “I am that. That is how I look at women. That is my vibe with the women I desire.” It’s been said by others that maintaining “bedroom eyes” is a great way to turn on a woman you’re talking to. What does this mean? “Bedroom eyes” is where you keep your eyes and eye-lids relaxed. You’re not darting your eyes all over the room, looking at everything in sight. You’re not widening your eyes like two giant dinner-plates with an olive in the middle. You’re looking at the woman, nice, calm and steady. Another look I like to use with eye-contact is kind of a flirty smirk. When I’m chatting with a woman, conversationally pushing and pulling her, I will sometimes squint my eyes a tiny bit and give her a smirk. The general vibe of the look is that I’m a “bad boy” and I’m really clever and smooth. This is just a look I toss out there when the interaction gets “spicy”… That is, when
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she and I are bantering back and forth about one thing or another and I’m saying something slightly bold or racy to her. Another fun look I use while conversationally pushing and pulling with a woman is what I call the “you’re suspect” look. With this look, I’m taking on the position that she might be cool, but I’m a little suspicious of her. I’ll turn my head away from her to the side and upward slightly with my eyes still on her, sort of to say, “I don’t know about you…” I’ll usually do this when she says something silly or goofy or weird. She’ll usually laugh and then hit me in a flirty way. Generally speaking, I would say focus on your thoughts and eye contact will be eye and natural for you. In fact, I would say focus exclusively on the thoughts you have and avoid thinking about physical eye contact mechanics – it’s a weird thing to distract yourself with during a conversation. Legend’s method for eye contact is much simpler, “Just believe that you’re good at it.”
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Chapter 5:
Learning to Start Conversations
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Introduction: Starting a conversation can be as simple as walking up and saying Hi or we can get really complicated talking about Pick-up Lines, many different types of Openers, and Opening routines. Then we have different classifications which are basically all about how much interest your showing and what type of frame your coming from. Legend: The Goal: Opening In this section, I am going to talk about openers and give you some examples. The goal for this section is to get you familiar with openers and opening routines so that you can go out and practice starting conversations with the sole goal of just starting a conversation. The purpose of an opener is just to create situational comfort, unless you “go direct” (that is, open the conversation with a statement that directly communicates your interest in the woman). When you’re in a bar, you are just another random person at the bar. You want to create a dialogue between you and a girl where she is comfortable talking you. The point of openers is just to get a girl or the group comfortable talking to you.
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Edge: A note on pick-up lines A lot of guys think that the power in meeting women in bars is in the pickup line they use. I know this because men are constantly e-mailing us about it! Yes, Legend and I have some stock lines that we open conversations with, but we don’t look at them like “pick-up lines”. We look at them as conversation starters… something to move us from not talking to the women into talking with them. That’s it – an opener should just be a quick 30second pop just to get the ball rolling. Pick-up lines are not my preference because I think they’re cheesy, they’re contrived and worse, they are perceived to be the source of the man’s conversational power instead of the man himself.
Now I want to talk briefly about the different styles of opening and about opening routines. Everything can work whether it is an Indirect opener or Direct opener. Many people prefer different things and different situations call for different approaches. Also some integral elements to approaching such as False Time Constraints, Body Rocking, and Rooting
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Legend: Types of Conversation starters and Openers Situational A situational opener can be used anywhere. This is where you comment on something in the surrounding environment that you see. In that it is something someone else is doing, something about the venue, or something that a girl was wearing. These are extremely low risk and will almost never get bad reactions or blowout. Examples: Talking about the weather Talking about something you can see Talking about something that’s happening Talking about random comments that you don’t really pre-plan Questions and Opinion Openers Opinion openers are classic community openers such as “Who lies more”, “Jealous girlfriend”, or “Spells.” The basis behind opinion openers is that you are just asking a question. They’re great and work well in a social bar and nightclub situations. They are very useful for people just starting to work on their social skills. When you have a good question you can make
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the conversation about it for 20 minutes. This is not ideal for solid game, but a great way to get started being social. Examples: There are many classic community openers. I suggest making your own based on something women talk about or something you like. Direct A direct opener is a type of opener where you express interest in talking to the girl immediately. These can vary widely from expressing interest in her clothing to telling her that she is sexy and you wanted to come over to meet her. The more interest you express, the more you instantly force her to make a decision whether she wants to talk to you or not. This doesn’t give you time to win her over, but the upside is that if she complies you are already setting the framework for the interaction. It is usually a good idea to be qualifying her immediately after direct opener. We’ll talk about qualifying and screening in a future section. Examples: Hey, I’m _______ I just had to come meet you. You are adorable I just had to come meet you. You sexy as fuck I just had to come meet you.
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Screening and Qualification Openers A screening or qualification opener is where you are seeing if she will live up to your standards right off the opener. These are more of a type of direct opener, but from a screening perspective. Examples: Who are you? Are you guy’s fun? False Time Constraint A False Time constraint is a technique that gives the impression that you are about to leave, so whoever you are starting a conversation with doesn’t think that you will hang around all night all night in the event that you are annoying or boring. Verbal False Time Constraints These can be used at any time during opener or whenever you need to convey the fact that you were about to leave. Example: Real quick I have to get back my friends I only got a second
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I have to go but Nonverbal False Time Constraints Body Rocking is a technique where you move in and out giving the impression that you were about to leave. This can be done by taking steps or by just shifting your weight from 1 foot to the other. Rooting in Your Opener This is the technique where you give a reason why you’re asking the question. It sometimes is necessary with opinion openers if your delivery is off or if they ever ask you why you asking me this. It is a preemptive technique.
Example: My buddies and I were having an argument and we need a female opinion to settle it My buddy had (some situation) happen to him; I want to get a woman’s perspective
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Chapter 6:
Dealing with Approach Anxiety and Fear of Approaching Women. Approach Anxiety and why we have it.
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Legend: Approach Anxiety Approach anxiety really encompasses any fear that you may experience about starting conversations with strangers. I believe this comes about from being socially conditioned not to talk to strangers our entire lives.
Edge: We Created Approach Anxiety Let’s look at some of the social conditioning that we’ve seen as men throughout our lives. I live in America where media images of love, dating, sex and relationships are abundant.
Think of how many commercials you see where the product makes the man sexy whereas he was a dud before. Think of how many scenes you’ve witnessed in movies where a guy approaches an attractive woman and she flips out and throws a drink in his face like he’s a flaming piece of shit. Think of how many TV shows glorify the act of some woman rejecting the guy.
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These are just images. They’re not real. They were created by advertisers, screen writers and actors to be interesting to watch.
Still, I can’t help but think that this has had a profound effect on guys in mainstream America and the Western World at large. This is a cultural phenomenon. There are other cultures and American subcultures where the idea of a man having “approach anxiety” is just ludicrous.
What I’m driving at is that those of us who experience “approach anxiety” created the experience ourselves. It may have been active (by interpreting our own failures in life in an unuseful way) or it may have been passive (through witnessing countless media images of approaching women being painful and something to fear).
Regardless, we create approach anxiety and we can deconstruct it, desensitize ourselves to it and replace it with something that is helpful.
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Legend: Overcoming Approach Anxiety Permanently overcoming approach anxiety comes down to progressively desensitizing ourselves to the approach. It will take a lot of work and many approaches, but I believe we can get there just like we can conquer any fear.
Dealing with approach anxiety in the field is only accomplished by pushing through the fear. Once we take action and start to approach it becomes much easier. Using tactics like immediately approaching the first group you see when you enter a venue and utilizing Mystery’s 3 second rule (where you see the girl you want and you immediately approach her, within 3 seconds) will help you immensely with approach anxiety.
If you follow the rule of always being in set (that is, always being in a conversation with people), even if you’re only talking to guys, as long as you are talkative and pushing forward you’ll avoid a lot of anxiety.
My simple advice: Act before you can think yourself out of taking action. Hesitation kills motivation.
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Bottom line the more that you practice and gain reference experiences, the easier it will become. Edge: Getting Over Approach Anxiety through Visualization I heard about a scientific study that was done once regarding visualization and success. In the study, they split a gym class into 3 groups. Each of the 3 groups practiced free-throws in basketball and the amount of successful throws in each group was recorded. Then, over the course of the month, they gave each group a different task. The first group did nothing. The second group practiced free throws everyday for 10 minutes. The third group visualized throwing successful free throws for 10 minutes (they only visualized; they never actually touched a basketball.) After a month, the practitioners tested each group’s ability to successfully shoot free throws. The first group showed no improvement. The second group showed significant improvement. But the astounding finding of the study was that the third group improved just as much as the second group at shooting successful free throws… and they never touched a basketball once during their 10 minutes of “practice”.
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I am a strong advocate of daily visualization. I practice this myself – I even chart my daily practice of visualizations to record that I am indeed doing them every day. When it comes to women, I visualize that when I talk to women they have big smiles on their faces. They’re excited to talk with me. They’re attracted to me – hell; they’re even throwing themselves at me. And it works – my abilities with women increased tenfold when I began visualizing success on a consistent, daily basis. At the very least, I would encourage you to STOP practicing “missing your free throws”. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that it is incredibly counter-productive to imagine things going badly before you approach women. If you’re not going to take on the practice of visualizing success, at least find a way to interrupt and replace any habit you may having of anticipating failure. I will add one final comment: This is NOT a replacement for taking action in the real world. This is a supplement to help you improve your real world results. You must be continuously and consistently talking to new women as often as possible to make a marked improvement in your skills and abilities.
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Chapter 7:
Dealing with Groups and Group Dynamics
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Group Theory and Set Logistics Legend: Group theory When we are out gaming, there are different kinds of groups (sets) and each one requires slightly different tactics for the best results. Remember, everything is just a guideline and sometimes rules are meant to be broken. In all groups you are going to have a girl that you want (target) and her friends (the obstacles). I find it best to befriend and be nice to everyone until they give you a reason not to be. If you are trying to game a girl in a group, you’re going to have to win over her friends. Single girl (One Set or “Lone Wolf”) The “lone wolf” is a single girl. This is very common during the day and rare at night. From my experience, I suggest going direct because you do not have to worry about disarming and befriending her friends. Her peer group is not standing there and able to judge her, so she is free to act in any way she chooses. If you see a single girl out at the bar, she is usually there for one thing, to get laid. Go approach her now. Two People (Two Set) A group of two people is one of the more difficult sets because you will have to keep them both occupied. If you leave one of them alone, they are likely
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to drag the other one off. You can game them as a single set or enlist someone nearby to occupy the obstacle. All Girls Group (Set) This is very common and requires no special tactics. Just go talk to whomever. Mixed group of boys and girls (Mixed Set) When there are guys in the set it is sometimes necessary to approach the guy first. It is usually necessary to befriend him and then he will give you his girls but not always. You can just talk to the girl if the guy is not aggressive. Seated Group Opening a seated group can be difficult. The act of opening it isn’t difficult but the longer you are standing while everyone else is seated your value will drop extremely quickly. Sit down as quickly as possible using a False time constraint as you do.
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Chapter 8:
Staying in Conversation, Transitioning, Multiple Threading, and Hooking
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Legend: Staying in conversation One of the first sticking points you may encounter is staying in conversation. Once you learn to open you need to learn how to transition into starting a conversation. The first major pitfall that some people experience is ejecting for no reason. This may come about because you feel that you don't know what to say next or there was an awkward silence. The more you force yourself to stand there "in set", the more your brain will begin to come up with things to say. Even if they aren't so good, the point is that you learn to deal with the social pressure.
Transitioning (Hooking the Conversation)
After opening, you want to get into a normal conversation and this is where you reach the Hook point. For me hooking is all about that point where instead of them wanting to leave, they want you to stay. This can be done in a number of ways, but your goal is to make them want to talk to you. You can set up a situation where they want to talk to you before you even open. This is the most effective way to Hook the group or you can use one of the techniques listed below.
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Stacking Stacking is a technique where you stop talking about one thing and start talking about a completely different thing. When you're talking in a bar there really is no transition necessary. You can go from talking about the sky to talking about apples; you don't need a reason to just talk. A technique known as stacking forward is where you cut the thread (whenever you're talking about) and just start talking about something else. This allows you to shift the conversation through different topics rapidly till you hit something that the people you're talking to are interested in and then they will hook. Edge: Something to consider here is that this does not just apply to choice of conversational topics. Sometimes what you choose as a topic doesn't really matter as much as how you talk about it and what within that subject you choose to talk about. For example, once I was talking about something with a group of girls and the conversation wasn't really going anywhere. At that time, the real problem was that I was just moving my lips and there was no engagement or real interest behind what I was saying. But then I just noticed something in the environment and commented on it in a sarcastic way... it was at that moment that the girls busted up laughing and the whole tone changed. Hooking the conversation didn't take place in this instance because of a different topic, but because of a different energy.
Just something to keep in mind...
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Legend: Multiple Threading Multiple threading is a form of conversation that we use with people who we are familiar with. Think of it as stacking different things and weaving one into another. When you're in the middle of one conversation topic or story you can cut and move to a different one and cut and move to a different one, then when one runs out you can change back to whatever one you want. This is a great technique for quickly getting into conversation with a stranger and then all of a sudden, they don't think of you as a stranger anymore. Plowing Plowing is a technique that is somewhat more aggressive. You will force your conversation on people by cutting their conversational threads and talking over them. I find it useful in loud fast-paced environments to quickly gain attention and get people into your conversation. Some people prefer a more tactful way of getting to the conversation. This is blunt, but it works very well if it fits your personality. Leading Back and Locking In Being in a relaxed position; one where you are in the position of power is probably the most important aspect of staying in conversation. If you can be leaning against the bar or a wall and have the girls leaning into you, then it looks like they are gaming you. As a result of this you will start to notice
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proximity (proximity is other girls standing near/around you within a few feet.) Many times you will even get approached by girls. This almost never happens when you are not locked in set (again, that is having a girl or girls in a position where you are in a laid back position and they are standing, talking to you as if they are gaming you). Basically you want to look like you are the most relaxed. You should be the one sitting or leaning back, not them. Go into set, open, and then move the set around so you have the position of power. If you are in an uncomfortable position in relation to the group, then your value will drop (that is, other women in the bar will view you as some guy who's walking up to chicks and trying to talk to them like some beggar). If you are in the position of power then your value will stay the same if not rise. Probably rise. Edge: A couple thoughts on this. I have found my best conversations with strangers at bars were when I was doing something in my life that I was passionate about. Note: That doesn't necessarily even mean that I was talking about those things!! It just means that what I was doing at that moment in my life was so captivating, so compelling and so interesting to me that it really didn't matter whether or not I talked to a woman nor had any success at all that night. At the same time, it is tremendously helpful and important to have something (or several things) in your life that you passionately enjoy and are excited about. For some, that means working on a major work project. For
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some, that means just loving life - REALLY loving it and enjoying it. Generally speaking, the guys that do the best with women are the fun guys who really enjoy life. Movies and TV might dictate that it's the "tough guy", the one who doesn't smile and is just an asshole, but this isn't the case in real life. Have balls, but be happy.
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Chapter 9:
Getting the Number
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Getting the phone number Legend: The next step is getting the number. A lot of guys wonder how to get a girl's number or how to ask a girl for her phone number. Really, this one is short and sweet - a lot of people complicate the entire getting a girl's number situation. If you can start the conversation and get them interested in talking to you, you can get the number almost every time. All you have to do is just ask for it. At this point, don't think about flakes or how to deal with them. Right now, if you are at the point where you are learning to get into conversations, you should ask for the girl's number before you part ways, just so you get in the habit of asking them. For so many pickup artists, this is a huge sticking point where they remain for six months. They can open and start conversations, but they don't get numbers because they just don't ask for the number. All the number is... is a number. It just means she's open to the idea of talking to you more right now. The best tip for exchanging numbers I can think of is make sure she saves it in her phone. You never know if they will pick up or not. I've had girls that I've made out and talked for hours with not pick up the phone. On the flip side I've had girls that I talked to for a minute pick up the phone. You will never know unless you try calling. At this point, get into the habit of doing it with everyone. Get their number, just ask for it. If they don't want to give it to you for some reason then fluff
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talk some more or more make them laugh some more or connect little more ask again and you'll get it without failure.
Edge: I completely agree with Legend: Getting numbers is easy and over-thinking about it is a trap. Avoid that trap. One thing to remember is that you NEVER know. Don't assume you do. Don't assume you know whether or not she'll give you a number. Don't assume she will or will not pick up. Don't assume anything. Instead, just go for it. You always win: you'll either get a great experience or you may end up getting laid or starting a great relationship. You never know. During the initial phase of learning to meet women, I always asked for their number just to get into the habit. This was a great and very useful practice for me. However, these days I do things differently now that I am used to asking for numbers and completely comfortable with it. These days, I assume the follow-up. What does this mean? Well, once I've talked to a woman for more than 5 minutes, I'm going to start tossing out imaginary things that we're going to do when we hang out. If I happened to mention a carnival and she said, "I love the carnival!" I might respond with something like, "You know what? We totally should go to the carnival together," and then I'll follow it up with some really silly playful push like,
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"oh wait, what am I talking about? You're weird, I don't even like you." (I would say something like this with a big, playful smile on my face.) Over the next few minutes, I would just talk with her and imply that we have plans... Or just explicitly make plans. Depending on the girl and situation, sometimes I'll use direct game and sometimes I'll use indirect game (my criteria for what I'll use is a different discussion for a different time). All in all, the basic rule is that I will set up the date and make her feel that feeling of "of course we'll hang out!" before I ask for the number. One great tip someone mentioned (I can't remember who or I would give credit) - he said to give the girl some kind of playful nickname during your conversation. That way, you can use it when you call her and re-establish the memories and feelings she had with you during the first conversation. In NLP terms, one might call that a conversational anchor.
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Chapter 10:
Connecting, Building Comfort, and Rapport
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Creating Rapport, Deep Comfort and Wide Rapport Legend:
What to talk about once you hook Once you're reaching a point where a girl wants you to stay and talk, I assume attraction and begin to connect with her. The point of forming a connection is really to figure out some commonalities and things that you can do together to set up a future date. Some people argue that they want to talk about crazy deep subjects but for now I would suggest that you just get used to talking about what each of you do for work, what you guys do for fun, and if you want to get into it really what you're passionate about. Edge:
I would say that conversations in clubs should really focus more on vibe than subject matter. In other words, DEFINITELY don't try to be deep or profound - keep it fun, light and engaging, but not deep. I very much enjoy having deep, profound conversations about different subjects. But I can guarantee that even if you manage to get a girl engaged into a deep conversation with you, she will run off the moment she sees something shiny-looking and fun (metaphorically speaking). Women do not go to clubs to think. They go there to feel.
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Legend: Creating rapport and connection also known as building comfort In the seduction community, there are two types of rapport: 1. Wide rapport
Getting wide rapport would consist of talking about any number of subjects and keeping it light / surface-level as you talk about a ton of things. You talk about your job, talk about her job, her about pets, talk about what you like to do for fun... really anything. The principle behind wide rapport is that you both get to know a little bit about everything in each other’s lives. I suggest get to know a little bit about her then pick one topic and delve deeper into it.
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2. Deep rapport
Depending on the situation, I think deep rapport is a great way to feel a really strong emotional connection. Think of deep rapport as deeply delving into one specific topic that you're both interested in or that you yourself are interested in or something that she is passionate about. If it's something that she is passionate about and you can connect it to your life, great. I like to talk about what I do for work and how I'm passionate about it and I like to talk about her passions. You're really talking so that you can both feel that emotion together - then you know you're on the right track.
Creating a connection
If you want to create a connection, it's all about going first. If you talk about intimate details of your life, then she's going to talk about intimate details of her life. It is great to run with what we like to do for fun and the passions in our lives because everyone is excited about what they're really passionate about. The more you can show your genuine excitement and enthusiasm for your life and how you experience life, the more she'll feel it and get swept away by it. If you get her really excited in your presence, she's going to connect that feeling with you. The more you do it then the more of a
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connection you both will have with each other if you are getting excited about the topic too.
There is no magical mystery - it's really all about just talking with each other, but if you talk about subjects that you're excited about, she will get excited and she will do the same. Think of the old hypnosis credo: You go first, if you go first she will follow.
Going first is probably the most powerful tool in your arsenal. If you start getting fired up talking about what you're passionate about then she will get fired up and talk about things that she is passionate about. The same way if you go into a set nervous, then you will make everyone nervous and uncomfortable. Emotional states are contagious. Use this to your advantage. Talk about things that you love and really feel them inside. She will start to do the same and then you will create a connection.
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Chapter 11:
Bringing it all together 69 | P a g e
Legend:
Where you are now A lot of the methods of vastly over complicate things. If you practice the first 10 steps you will be at a point where you can start practicing your phone game and going on day two's. If you can open and hook the conversation to the point where the girl wants to talk to you then you can get her number almost all the time. Then, if you work on connecting on topics then you have all you need to give you a solid start in cold approaching. With just those skills and repeated approaching you should have girls to go on a dates with if you practice enough.
Where are you Going Over the next four articles, we are going to talk about what you'll need to really progress from connecting with the girl to actually bedding the girl. Once we have gone through these steps we will talk about more advanced aspects and techniques that you can work into your cold approach game to drastically improve it. I think it's great to keep things simple and small chunk your learning but once you have the fundamentals down it's time to expand into the advanced section. Still there is no point in worrying about building massive attraction or qualifying a girl if you can't get her
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interested in having conversations with you. Stick to the basics until you have them then expand.
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Section 2:
Taking it to the Next Step 73 | P a g e
Chapter 12:
Talking on the Phone, Phone game and TXT message Game
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Legend:
How to use the phone number My perspective on using the phone number is to text her that same night or immediately the next day. I like to throw a few texts back and forth and then transition to the phone as soon as possible. I can't tell you how many numbers have stalled out on me just because of not transitioning to talking on the phone quickly. We all feel accomplished because we got the phone number, but it can come at a price. Now that the feeling of accomplishment is there, it can actually prevent us from calling to prevent us from possibly losing that feeling of validation by the fact that now she might not pick up. In reality a guy could've had a perfect cold approach and she just doesn't pick up for some unknown reason. You have to get in the mindset that some things are just out of your control and just because it's not working on the phone doesn't mean you didn't do a good job before. This is a very difficult barrier to push through, but phone numbers just mean they want to talk to you - use them as quickly as possible to get the two of you back meeting in real life.
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Edge:
I think a lot of guys get carried away in worrying about phone rules and whatnot. I have had a lot of success calling the girl when I feel like it because I don't put a ton of stock on it either way. It doesn't really matter to me all that much if I don't get this particular girl, this particular time. So for anyone concerned about the 3 day rule or how long to wait before you call a woman you met, I would just say put your focus on lightening up and not caring so much about results. Caring too much about how something might turn out is a sure-fire way to lose...
Legend: TXT message Game My text message game really consists of sending a simple text of "do you speak text?" then I will usually say something funny connecting what we talked about the night before and move on to the phone.
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Edge: When it comes to texts, I keep it simple, light and funny. I'll usually call her some nickname and be a little playful, referencing something I talked to her earlier. It's a great way to build up a one-on-one bond with you... even if it is just by texting over a phone, she's still focusing entirely on your banter and that further bonds her to you.
Legend: Phone game and talking on the phone
The phone is a great comfort building location. Really, I want to just get on there and get comfortable talking to each other like you're just old friends. Once you've established that it's okay to call each other then it's much easier to meet up and continue to talk to each other.
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Edge: When it comes to phone game, I usually do a few things. First, typically before I call them I will have already talked to them for a while and had some kind of banter. I will probably have gotten a sense of her sense of humor and maybe even come up with a nickname for her. When I make the call, I touch on those themes again to kind of re-enliven the feelings she had when she was talking to me originally. Then, once the conversation is at a high note, I will quickly say, "Hey, I gotta go . Any big plans tomorrow?" or whenever I want to plan the date... Then I'll just say that we're going to go somewhere and do something and it will be an adventure... sometimes I'm vague, sometimes I'm straight-up. And nearly all the time it's something I would have done anyway - I can't tell you how many times I've brought a first-date to the supermarket.
All in all though, the quality of your phone conversations will only be as good as the conversations you had with her prior to getting her on there... You have a little more flexibility if your phone call is the first time she's ever heard your voice (like if you meet a girl on the internet), but generally speaking you want your focus to be on building up good feelings before the phone call. There is no phone game that is going to save you if everything leading up to the phone call sucked.
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To break it down simply, it's: 1) Call her 2) Get her laughing or enjoying the talk 3) Make the date 4) Get off the phone
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Chapter 13:
Dates and Day 2’s
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Legend:
Setting up the date / Day 2 / Day Two For me setting up a day two (day 2) is very simple. I just asked them if they want to go out to a bar or to go swimming or come over and watch some cool TV show. The best way is to keep it simple and keep it either close to your apartment or close to her apartment. If it's close she can go back and seal the deal. If your apartments are far away, it complicates it and can be much harder.
Edge: I always set up my dates near my house. For multiple reasons, a girl may like you but may not want to take you back to her place even if she is insanely turned on by you. Maybe she has judgmental roommates. Maybe she has pictures of her ex-boyfriend all over her room. Maybe she's just very private about her living space.
For that reason, I plan my dates to be very close to my place. In fact, once the date begins, I'll "forget something" that I need to go up to my bedroom to get real quick. I will bring the girl with me just so she gets a chance to be in my room once before, then I grab what I need (usually I need to change my
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shoes) and we leave right after it. I do not stick around - all I want is for her to have a first impression so that when we come back later it feels like a place she's been before and is therefore more comfortable for her.
Legend: What to do on the date
When I'm out with a girl it's all about just having fun and getting to know each other. Slowly building up the sexual tension but mostly just talking about my passions and where I'm going in my life. This is usually an extreme turn on for them. I think a later article I will talk about how to have a plan where you're going with your life. I think as men having a mission, is equivalent to a girl having fake breasts.
Edge: On a date, I have a general game plan. First, I have probably about 4 or 5 stories that I've told countless times that showcase a characteristic or quality about me without bragging or showing off. An example of this would be the time that I was walking down the street and was threatened at knife-point to give up my wallet. Not only did I refuse, but I also managed to escape a
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whole mob of the mugger's buddies without even running or yelling for help. True story and it showcases that I have balls and I don't take shit.
Other areas of my life that I talk about are my childhood, my passions, dreams and aspirations, what I really want to accomplish in my life and also random experiences I've had. If the date has been going well and she strikes me as the type of girl I would want to take home, I will start talking about music and then I will ask if she's ever heard such-and-such a song. When I find a song she's never heard, I say, "Oh man, I have to play that song for you... it's so good... you have to hear it."
At that point we'll go back to my place and listen to the song. Fact is, when it gets to the point that she's come over to hear a song, it is my personal belief that she's already made up her mind to hook up with me. Once we're in my room, it's a very easy and smooth transition to making out and beyond. Feel free to check out my Hook-up Playlist that I posted up here back in July or so...
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Legend:
Dealing with logistics Logistics are key. You need a way to transfer from your current location back to either your bed or her bed. The easier it is for you to go back to her apartment or take her back to your apartment after hanging out somewhere, the easier it will be to actually seal the deal.
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Chapter 14:
Touching, Kino Escalation and Sexual Escalation
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Legend:
When to touch The sooner you start touching the better. When you open sets touch them lightly with the back of your hand. Keep it light and don't escalate hard in front of her friends until you have won them over.
Edge: When it comes to Kino or touching, I think that the method has a lot to do with the man himself. It's been said (and I agree) that if a guy is very masculine / manly-looking naturally and naturally appears dominate, he should not touch until she touches him. If the guy is skinny or has a more gentle, kind or effeminate face, he should touch as soon as possible.
Speaking from personal experience, I had a very young looking face through my early twenties. Plus, I was very skinny. Back then, I could touch a woman early in the interaction and it was fine. I noticed that after I started working out, putting on muscle and just generally maturing in my facial structure, my previously well-received early touching came across to the woman differently - this time as overly aggressive. The only thing that had
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changed about me was my appearance really. My intent and demeanor was still the same.
Kino Escalation and Sexual Escalation When ever you are talking about physical (Kino) escalation I think the simplest way to get from no touching to touching is to follow an escalation latter. Basically slowly increasing touch from small things to increasingly larger things.
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Kino Escalation Ladder Eye contact Hand shaking Accidental arm Brushing Light touching with the back of your hand Light touching with the front of your hand Standing next to her with your arms touching Holding hands Arm in Arm Standing with your legs touching lightly Sitting with your legs touching Lightly brushing her belly with your hand Lightly touching her lower back with your palm Pulling her in to hear you Frontal Hugging Walking her around with your hand on her lower back Holding her while sitting down Having her put her leg over your leg while sitting Down Brushing her hair off her face Talking with your face touching hers Touching the back of her neck
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Sexual Escalation Ladder Kissing Kissing her neck Touching her stomach and back under her shirt Touching her breast on the side Touching all of her breasts Running your finger around the edge of her pants Incidental touching without going under her panties Touching under her panties Sex
This is just a rough ladder and a great way to look at things step by step. Remember 2 steps forward and one back then repeat if you are encountering resistance.
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Chapter 15:
Indicators of Interest ( IOI’s) and Indicators of Disinterest ( IOD's)
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Legend:
What are Indicators of Interest In the community there are a number of indicators of interest. These are specific things that some pick-up artists believe are cues that the girl is into you. I will list them here: (I don’t follow these)
Smiling at you Preening (tossing, twirling or combing her hair) Exposing her neck Positioning body facing towards you Laughing at what you're saying Touching you Sucking your dick
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Assuming it’s always on and why you shouldn’t bother paying attention to them
I believe that is a waste of time and that you shouldn't bother looking for indicators of interest. There is only one indicator of interest that I think about. This is that if the girl is talking to me then it is on. She's not walking way and she's talking to me, it is because she wants me. Even if this is a false belief sometimes, if you believe it, it will manifest itself. We take on so many beliefs that are sometimes negative, instead let's take on beliefs that will help us.
Edge: If she’s still standing there, she’s interested (or at least, interested enough.) And you shouldn’t be checking to see if she’s interested, you should lead her to be interested by holding a strong reality and accepting nothing less than having her buy into it. I wrote up a story about why I specifically DO NOT look for indicators of interest from women. Check it out here: http://www.pickupevolution.com/edge-interpretting-iois-indicators-ofinterest-from-women-guide/
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IOD's: Indicators of Disinterest
Indicators of disinterest are things that a girl will do to show disinterest. The biggest set killer is an IOD of no response at all. Love and hate you can work with. Indifference you can't. I would suggest if you are getting IOd's such as back turns or people not paying attention to you that you work on talking louder and talking about stuff you are interested in. If you are looking to calibrate then if you receive an IOD you should respond with a IOD and then immediately DHV.
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Chapter 16:
Where you are now
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What you should be able to accomplish with what you’ve learned
Within the first 15 articles I believe that you have enough information if you consistently practice it you can get a lot of girls. You may not get the girl every time but if you're looking for a girlfriend it will happen with persistence. Don’t overwhelm yourself with tons techniques, focus on the first 15 parts until you get good at it. I believe we all need a foundational social skill set before we can get to the more advanced techniques. I've given you everything you need to get a girlfriend already. Once you're comfortable with starting conversations with strangers and connecting with them and getting her number you are more than halfway there. We talked about dealing with the phone and dealing with dates. Once you get that down, you throw an escalation and you are all done. The following articles are going to really focus in on specific skills which will really sky rocket your results but you need a basic skill of being able to have a conversation with someone before you can implement them. I like to keep things simple because if you try to do too much at once I feel that you will never get anywhere.
Next lessons are more advanced and will give you a leg up but they are not necessary to get laid or to get a girl friend
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We are now going to move into the more advanced techniques. Apply them one by one as you get good at them. The deeper you get the more complicated it can become, but if this is a hobby that you wish to pursue as a hobby I recommend learning everything. If you just want a girlfriend, then being social with strangers, dealing with logistics and escalating is pretty much all you will need.
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Section 3:
The Advanced Applications 98 | P a g e
Chapter 17:
Avoiding and Dealing with Sticking Points
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What are sticking points?
A sticking point is going to be any part of your game that repeatedly seems to not be working. A lot of people just starting in game have a sticking point of opening. Then they sometimes move on to the sticking point of transitioning. Sticking points can appear in many different places in your game. Plateaus in game are also a common occurrence. I see that many people in the community hit a certain skill level and then they stop developing. This could be known as a plateau in game. I think that plateaus and sticking points are basically the same. They have similar symptoms in that you are not improving and getting better results. I think that the same issue that help avoid sticking points and removing sticking points works exactly the same with plateaus.
Dealing with Sticking points:
If you have gone out a lot or even if you are just starting to study pick-up I am sure that some of you have hit small or large sticking points that are inhibiting your game development. Breaking these sticking points and plateaus comes down to first identifying what your problem is. If you don't know what the problem is you can't fix it. For example if you are getting tons of flaky dates you may have a sticking point with the congruence of
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your phone game verses your game when you met her in the club or bar. Once you have identified the problem you have to implement a strategy to solve it. Sticking points seem to develop because we are doing something and even if it’s not working we have a habit of doing the same thing over and over again without realizing it. To fix a sticking point you need to try new things that you have never done before and keep trying new things until you discover what works for you. It’s all about pushing your comfort zone and trying things that are unfamiliar. Test, test, and test some more. Once you discover what works you can build on it and increase your results. Don't get stuck in the rut of doing the same old same old.
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Avoiding sticking points: Once you understand how sticking points are created then avoiding them is relatively easy. The theory to avoid them is easy but always practicing in a way that you won't encounter sticking points and plateaus is much harder. Avoiding sticking points all comes down to pushing your comfort zone. If you are hitting blocks in your development you probably aren't trying enough new things. If you are always testing and trying new things while building on the things that actually work then you will start to see your results sky rocket. If you are uncomfortable when you are in set you are probably learning something. Push your edge and consistently try new things and you will develop and move forward. Remember what works and build on it. At the same time scrap what doesn't work and always try new things and you will always be evolving.
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Chapter 18:
Framing and Creating strong Frames
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What are frames
Definition:
Framing is the basis to every aspect of your gamr. Framing is basically having the right attitude or perspective while interacting with women, which is very important. It is how you view the interaction and it is the underlying context to the interaction. One of our strategies is going to be intentionally choosing the most strategic viewpoint and attitude to use at different stages of the interaction.
In any communication, they are all communications, facial expressions and body language that are neutral. Sometimes these things do have a motive or intention and that motive or intention might be clear or ambiguous. Our minds have an urge to give meaning to everything. Frames are powerful because they are the lens you look through to determine the meaning of these elements of an interaction. Frames tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies.
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For example, someone who believes he is well-liked may interpret a rude comment toward him as if it were a joke and laugh about it. His response is likeable and his belief that he is well liked becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy – he looks at life with the belief that people like him and so he responds in a likeable way.
Another person who believes he is disliked by everyone may interpret that same rude comment as a cutting personal attack and fly into a fit of rage. His response repels people and it too completes the self-fulfilling prophecy.
Same rude comment, two different interpretations because they were viewed through two different lenses.
Frames are powerful because they cause people to interpret the many ambiguous and neutral things that happen during an interaction. Most people do not hold powerful frames, so they are likely to go along with any strong frame presented to them if their actions are ambiguous. The result is that by holding useful, powerful frames that serve us in an interaction, women are likely to go right along with them.
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Put differently – if we know how to create self-fulfilling prophecies, we should create positive self-fulfilling prophecies. A frame is a focus or direction that provides an underlying basis for any thoughts and actions during the interaction. A frame will set the underlying meanings of the communication as well as any actions that result from it. The frame will provide an overall focus and a direction of the interaction. Frames are not really existent in reality; they are not written or spoken. They only exist inside the thoughts of the people in the interaction. Everything is interpreted through them. Most of the time when two people’s frames are not aligned, the stronger frame is dominant and overpowers the weaker one. A woman may or may not buy into your frame, but even if she doesn’t you will convey that you’re unwilling to buy into hers.
Good frames to set
Talking to strangers is normal Everyone likes you and responds well to you Girls are attracted to you Girls always try to sleep with you
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Girls are always chasing you
Making people fall into your frames
Whoever has the stronger frame always prevails. If you condition yourself to believe unequivocally in your frame then you will always maintain it.
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Chapter 19:
Qualification and Eliciting Values
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What is qualification?
Qualification is a mechanism that will allow you to do two things. The first is that it will verbally set up a screening frame where you can show that you have standards that you want a girl to live up to. This will begin to create a frame where you are challenging the girl and she has to live up to your expectations. It will build investment and compliance on her part through screening questions you ask.
The second use of qualification is to test for compliance. Using screening questions you can easily see how invested a girl is in you by how much she will comply with your qualification. If you qualify a girl on something simple like 'can you cook' and she doesn't have enough attraction to answer you then you know you need to run more attraction. If you try to move her or try to qualify her on what her passions are and she won’t answer you then you know you need more attraction. Now you’re not in a rapport stage yet if she won’t answer and you need more attraction. If you try to sexually qualify her and she won't comply, you know you need more comfort and rapport or attraction before she will comply with your sexual screening. If she is complying with your sexual screening then you know you can move directly to a close.
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Using qualification to figure out how much compliance you have is the best way to quickly move forward in the set.
Using qualification
I think it’s extremely important to start using qualification very early in any interaction. Start off simple using simple situational qualifiers to see if you have enough value so you can start building compliance. There are many community classics that are simple things like:
Can you cook? Are you adventurous? Are you spontaneous? Are you fun? Are you cool?
The point of these is to begin your qualification and start to build compliance. If she won't answer simple yes or no questions you need more attraction (Make her laugh a few times). Once she complies with simple
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qualification questions then you can try for the ones that require more investment. These are more building rapport or getting to know each other type of qualifications:
What do you for fun? What do you have going for yourself? Tell me your 3 best qualities? What are you passionate about?
These require more investment on her part and if she won't answer these you know you are still in the attraction phase and not the comfort phase. Build more attraction and then try to qualify her again. After you have built more compliance and you know that she is attracted to you and she is becoming more invested in you then you can sexually qualify her. This is more advanced because you really want to deliver sexual qualifiers well which I will go over in its own extensive future article. They are more necessary when you are trying to pull a girl for a snl but not necessary to get dates and a girlfriend.
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Eliciting Values
What is Eliciting Values?
Eliciting a person’s values originates from NLP and Speed Seduction. Basically what you are trying to accomplish is to find out what is important to a person and feed it back to them. Basically find out what really makes them tick and then you can connect with them by showing them that you have whatever quality they look for.
How to Elicit Values
You can Elicit values in many ways but I like to keep it simple and talk to girls by starting off slowly finding out what they like to do and then transitioning into what they are really passionate about in their lives. Once you do that you can connect on their feelings surrounding whatever topic you are talking about. The classic way to do this is: - Figure out her favorite activity -Feed the activity back to her and figure out what emotions she is getting from it. (If she likes helping others then it’s the feeling that she gets from
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helping others that you want to connect with her on.)
-What are the emotions she experiences during the activity?
-Connect with her on those emotions. If her purpose in life is to shop then connect with the feelings she gets from it.
Connection using Her Values
The real power with eliciting her values is that once you know what she is really about and after you find that out you can tailor what you talk about and any activities you plan together biased on it. This will allow you to really stand tall above any competition. You know what she wants and what she values so you can fill in the blanks and be her dream man. If you so choose to.
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Chapter 20:
Attraction and Attraction Switches
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What is attraction?
Think about what attraction really is. We are all trying to create attraction in other people but how many of us have actually taken the time to really figure out what attraction is. Is it a feeling? Is it value?
For me I think attraction as investment. The more we invest ourselves into something the more we want it. It can almost be like desperation. Think about your last long relationship at first it was great and slowly it may have gotten worse. The longer you were in the relationship the more committed you felt. You spent so much time and energy in the relationship that even when things were bad you didn't want to walk away because you had invested so much time into it.
Think about it a different way. Have you ever won a scratch ticket or been given a bunch of money. Say you won $500 dollars in a raffle. Would you blow it on something expensive like a new TV or a night on the town? Sure, many of us would but at the same time every week maybe you earn $500 dollars working 40 hours a week and you don't blow it. You had to work hard for it. You invested your time into making that money and then you feel invested and don't want to spend it as frivolously.
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I think of attraction the same way. The more you make someone invest into an interaction, the more they invest their energy and time into you the more 'attracted' they become. The more invested they become and the more pull you have. Attraction is also a feeling but powerful attraction I bias on investment.
Attractive characteristics Humor Social intelligence Being Dominant and Leading ***FUN*** There are many more but I think these are the most important and it’s better to be really good at one then mediocre at a lot.
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Assuming Attraction
Many PUA's worry about IOI's and are constantly thinking if a girl likes them or not. I really believe that you should just assume attraction and push forward unless it’s not working. That way you can look at what you’re doing and modify it accordingly. Having the belief that she is attracted and it’s always on, even if it’s wrong, will help us get results much faster and more often than looking for attraction and trying to force it.
Attraction switches
When we talk about attraction switches we are getting very technical but if you really want to get into pick-up as a hobby and want to get advanced then I think it’s important to look at them. The purpose of attraction switches is to use them to your advantage by demonstrating them to the girl your interested in. This can be done by literally demonstrating them or embedding them into your stories. Anything that you can demonstrate in real time will be much more believable and powerful compared to embedding them into stories.
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There are many different switches and traits that make a man attractive. We could debate specifics all day but I think these are the major important ones: ( All credit to these goes to Mystery) Leader of Men
Being the leader of other men is a hugely attractive trait. This can be embedded through storytelling and demonstrated by how people react to you. Think of the old community idea of being the alpha man. Being the center of attention would also fall into this category as well as being able to hold court. Lead the men and the women will follow.
Protector of loved ones
This attraction switch would mostly have to be embedded but it is extremely powerful when demonstarted. Many girls want a strong man to take care of them and stand up for them at times weather they will admit it or not. If you ever protect a girl when some guy is getting violent with her she will never forget it. Being the protector carries a powerful effect. Use it wisely.
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Pre-selection
Pre-selection is scientifically proven. Women want what other women have. This switch can be embedded through storytelling and it can easily be demonstrated. If you have women with you or if you can actively get women to give you IOI's and have your target see it happen then she will become more attractive. Social proof through pre-selection is extremely powerful.
The willingness to walk away Demonstrating that you are non - needy and that you have options is very powerful. Everyone wants what they can't have. You must be willing to lose the girl to get the girl. If you can demonstrate in front of the target that other girls want you and that you will walk if she doesn't live up to your standards then she will become more attracted.
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Social Intelligence Being socially intelligent is a necessity. This is something that you will demonstrate in front of the girls you talk to. Social intelligence would include humor and just being aware of what’s going on. This is a skill you will learn through practice. The more you interact with people the better you will get. The willingness to emote When talking about the willingness to emote Mystery talks about that it really means to show that you have healthy emotions. Putting it in simple terms, showing that you are not crazy and your brain works right. DO this by showing that you care and that your brain functions normally.
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Chapter 21:
Value as a concept, Demonstrating Higher Value (DHV), And Demonstrating Lower Value (DLV)
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What is higher value as a concept?
Being Higher Value then other people and talking about higher value as well as demonstrating it does work well but I do not really agree with the classic community way of doing it. Sure you can always try to be cooler than everyone else but that in itself is kind of reactive. Some of you will not agree with me but everyone has their own way of doing things.
How to use it?
Instead I focus on things that I naturally love talking about and doing. My passions! I let my emotions demonstrate value for me instead of worry about logically demonstrating it through gimmicky stuff. Logically demonstrating value sure does work but women are emotional so there is no need to logically demonstrate value. Read in the next chapter about story telling for more information.
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Embedding Attraction switches in stories
I would encourage everyone to embed attraction switches into their stories if they want to get really technical about everything. They are not the end all be all for attraction but they definitely work. They are listed in Part 20. You can write your stories out and slightly modify them to follow the attraction switches. Eventually with practice you will start to naturally tell stories with attractions switches embedded.
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Chapter 22:
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What are good stories?
The key to storytelling is that it is not in the words you say but in the emotion that you put behind the words. No matter how exciting or how drab the factual story may be if you don't put enthusiasm and excitement into the story it won't work well. You can talk about the silliest or on paper what would be the most boring things provided you get excited about them. The real key is just getting excited and really fired up about whatever you are talking about. Enthusiasm is contagious use it to your advantage.
Writing good stories
There are going to be certain aspects of your life that you always will talk about from time to time. I suggest coming up with good stories that help you convey your personality and who you are. Things such as what you do for fun or what you do for work. Stories about your passions and ambitions in life or just some funny stories are great. I think it’s important to write out your stories and have a rough idea of what you are going to tell people when the topic comes up. Have them ready to go, not it a way where you will recite them word for word but where you can have the basic idea's in place so that you can naturally and charismatically tell your story every time.
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The art of Story telling
Telling a good story is really like a performance. I really want to hammer home the point that it is all about the emotion you put behind your words. Get involved and excited and you will naturally lead whoever you are talking to on a short adventure. If you get excited it is all you need to make anything a good story.
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Chapter 23:
Teasing, Negs, False Disqualification
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First and foremost this is an art. Let me make it really clear that in no way shape or form should you be insulting girls. Although at the same time there is going to be one out of five hundred that insulting will work for. Mystery says and I fully agree that correct response for a NEG is laughter. Teasing: Cocky Funny Negging I am really going to classify every type of teasing, cocky funny, False Disqualification, Breaking rapport, and neg into the same category. They are all forms of breaking rapport. Examples You and I would never get along You are bad news Where is your off button? Total troublemaker The concept of Breaking Rapport (BR) and when to use it You ever wonder why sometimes when you BR it works wonderfully and other times it blows you completely out of set. Before you can ever break rapport with a girl she must already be seeking rapport with you. If she is indifferent to you then breaking rapport with her will do nothing. Love and hate you can work with while indifference is the killer.
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For me there are only 3 specific times when you want to BR. 1. You must break rapport in every set in some way to establish attraction. Notice this could be as simple as taking a step backward or as intense as going ‘You are such a bitch :P’ (I want to stress that you must have the calibration down and no matter what you are doing you are only doing it right if she laughs afterward) 2. The second time is if she Breaks rapport with you. This could be in a form of a shit test or in the form of non compliance. Here you have two options. Ignore the bad behavior or you can ‘punish’ the behavior by breaking rapport with her. NOTICE when you break rapport in this situation you are countering her bad behavior and you MUST follow up your Break in Rapport with a chance for her to redeem herself. Example: Her: Any negative behavior. PUA: Aww isn’t that cute your such a troublemaker :P I bet you keep all the losers at bay with that. (Give her a chance to redeem herself after you tease her) 3. Finally there are those girls who live and die to tease. Most girls only need a little tiny bit but then there are the other ones, the ones that eat and breathe teasing. You will get into battles with them and it is required to constantly break rapport with them. My primary FB who I have been seeing for a year now constantly battles with me even to this day. I love it because
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I naturally like the aggressive teasing. Some girls do it and some don’t. Go after the type that fits your personality. Basically I am saying that sometimes Breaking Rapport hardcore never ends and other times you only want to do it sparingly.
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Chapter 24:
How to create and use Push Pull
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Legend: The Push Pull Dynamic
When I am in an interaction I like to slot everything that I can possible say and do into 2 categories. One element of the interaction is always either a Push or a Pull. Basically where in the first instance you can say or do something that pushes someone away from you and in the second instance you can say something or do something that will pull a person toward you. As with anything these are two polar opposites where a pull is on one end of the spectrum and push is on the other end. Think Mr. Nice guy on one end and Mr. Dick head on the other end. With any conversation I believe that a good balance is essential. You need to be able to go to either end of the spectrum and pull it back with good calibration.
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Push
Would be any comment or action in a pushing manor. As if you are pushing someone away. For example any form of teasing or not fully answering someone’s questions. Leaving a sort of mystery about yourself or doing a take away. Basically anything that will get them working for you. This includes all forms of breaking in rapport.
Pull
On the flip side pull would be giving value, complements, and creating rapport. Think positive statements and things that bring people together. Smiles and positive touching as well are pulls.
What this means
Basically you may know that going overboard on one side can lead to trouble. Whether it is over negging or over complementing the girl you don’t want to go to one extreme. I think it’s good to mix things up and create a balance. Thinking about everything in terms of either a push or a pull
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allows us to really balance out an interaction. You can create attraction by varying things up and having the woman always guessing. It is a great attraction tool. Push Pull Routines
These routines are snap one liners used to fluster women and really amping up attraction. They are usually two extreme comments almost like flipping a light switch. You can really combine two opposites and you will get the desired effect.
Example:
Your such a little brat I love you. You are awesome we would never get along. I hate you.. Come here (hug) You are such a bitch.. I love you! You are either the biggest creep or the coolest person I have ever met.
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As you can see you can use pretty much anything. Experiment with quick push pull lines to spike attraction.
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Chapter 25:
Advanced Rapport, Comfort, and Connection
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The key to creating a powerful connection is really making the other person feel it. Not just talking about something but to really feel a powerful feeling inside of them. This feeling of connection is a surefire way to create a powerful connection. The old Speed Seduction rule of going first is extremely important here when connecting with girls. If you want to have someone feel a powerful connection with you then you need to connect and get excited about something for yourself before they can get excited.
As I went out more and more, I noticed that the girls that I would connect with the best where the ones where we ended up talking about things that were really important to me. Things like friends, family, and my work. When it came down to it I really was talking about my Passions in life. If you start talking about things that really get you amped up and excited then whoever you are talking to is going to get amped up and excited. Feelings are contagious. If you can create amazing powerful good feelings in yourself then the girl that you are talking to will catch those feelings and start feeling them. They will then associate the feelings they are getting with you.
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Passions
I have found that to really get amped up and excited I need to talk about my passions. What I love in life. What drives me and what excites me. When I talk about starting my own business, working for myself, and perusing my dreams I really light up. I basically go into state and my state is contagious. The girl I am talking to gets excited because I am all excited. She associates that feeling with me and we both talk about what excites us. It’s like a snow ball effect. If you connect on those powerful feelings that drive your life and your passions then it doesn't matter what the specifics of it are. You passion could be computer games and her passion could be shopping but if you connect on the feeling behind the action then you can connect to completely different things. Talk about your passions in life and get excited. Ask her about hers and get excited together and you will automatically form a strong connection.
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Chapter 26:
Dealing with Guys and Amoging
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Dealing with Mixed Sets
When encountering mixed sets the rule I like to follow is to treat the guys as UGs. Basically treat them as girls you would never have sex with. The rule that I follow is to befriend first always. You never know if it is just some guy hitting on her or her best gay friend. Going in with an attitude of friendship first will help avoid many problems. I highly recommend it. With guys you can connect on all the logical boring same old guy stuff. Simple logical questions and statements work great. Comments about their shirts, the weather, sports, drinking, or the bar work great. I like to throw in comments about my ex girlfriend to disarm them if I feel that they might think I am hitting on them.
Dealing with AMOGs
There are many fancy ways to amog guys and they work. You can gain attraction from girls by tooling guys and covertly reframing stuff they say to make them look like a tool. I do not recommend it. You can piss people off and sometimes it can back fire.
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The best way to Amog
The best and most powerful way to amog anyone is to completely ignore them. By completely ignoring them I mean as far as you are concerned they do not even exist. For example I have been out where guys have grabbed me and where they have pushed me and they continued to push me. If I give them 0 attention it will stop. Literally no matter what they are doing if you act like whatever they are doing whether it is talking or what not just act like you aren't even seeing it and they will slink away. The best way to amog is completely ignore and then they can do nothing.
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Chapter 27:
Plowing an Advanced Look
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What is Plowing
Plowing is a conversational technique of using brute force to get what you want. It is basically talking over people and cutting them off so that you are constantly the dominant and leading force in conversations. I am an aggressive person so I love plowing. It may not be for you. In fact it may be counterproductive for you if it doesn’t fit your personality. I find it extremely useful to get into set in loud fast paced clubby environments. There are two forms of plowing; normal plowing and stacking plowing.
Plowing: Normal plowing would be raising your voice over other people to get your point out. This can also be done by cutting other peoples conversational threads to stay on your own material or threads. This can be extremely useful when entering a set to gain attention. Think of it as smashing around with a hammer to get your point across. Sometimes it is necessary to get everyone's attention and to keep the group on track.
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Stacking and Plowing: This is an extremely aggressive form of plowing which I use a lot when hooking sets in an extremely loud fast paced club. I will talk over people and continuously stacking different material until I get a reaction from the girls. If they aren't responding to something that I am saying I will start talking about something else. If that doesn't work I will start talking about something else and so on. This is sometimes necessary to break into set.
Notice: These are aggressive. I advocate them a lot in my game where Edge doesn’t really plow. He uses finesse where I use a hammer.
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Chapter 28:
Pulling Girls from the Club, Bouncing, and Venue Changing
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Bouncing girls from the club and venue changing really comes down to three basic things:
1. You need enough attraction and comfort built with her so she is comfortable being with you. It’s much easier to pull a grill from one club to another bar with all her friends then to separate her. You need more comfort, attraction, and timing to pull her away from her friends.
2. Over hype where ever you are going. No one wants to go to this place that is just okay. Hype any aspect of the venue from its chars to it drinks. This goes for your apartment too. Talk about the cool stuff that you want to show her. Very simple.
3. Most importantly pulling and venue changing comes down to asking. If you don't ask the girl if she wants to bounce it’s never going to happen. Take action and ask. The more you do it the more you will realize when it is the right time to ask. It comes naturally through practice.
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Chapter 29:
Last minute resistance (LMR)
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What is LMR I couldn’t write a Pick-up Guide without talking about LMR. Notice that NO means no and when in doubt stop. But I also want to say that sometimes No means not yet. In person there is a huge difference and it’s really easy to tell. If she is moaning and saying I barely know you or it’s too soon and she is stopping you but saying it passively. Then that means not yet. But if she is serious and says no that means no. How to avoid LMR Over my years of getting better and better with the opposite sex I find that I don’t really like dealing with LMR and instead I want to completely avoid it by doing two things. Sure with the right attitude you can plow through it and sometimes you need too but I think it’s much better to avoid last minute resistance. I avoid it by doing two things. 1. Comfort. The longer you spend with a girl the more comfortable she is with you. The more places and situations you are in with her the more comfortable she will be with you. Despite what the community says I believe you can be friends with a girl for a long time and still escalate it to sex provided you are an attractive male to begin with. Sure it’s nice to get there quickly but in my experience if you consistently maintain attraction either automatically or consciously then you can escalate it to sex after months of hanging out with her. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying wait when you can have sex but I am saying it’s not necessarily a race to get there.
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2. Not letting LMR exist. You can allow last minute resistance to not even exist if you take it and instead of just escalating you can escalate while telling the girl that you are not going to have sex with her. If you are constantly telling a girl you never sleep with girls so soon in a relationship but at the same time escalating hard core while maintaining the fact that you will not sleep with her so soon you can get all the way to having sex. Basically you escalate all the way to almost sex and keep turning her on while telling her that you will not sleep with her yet. You get her so turned on that she will initiate the final push to sex. Girls do this to guys all the time. Escalating and getting us turned on just to say not yet. We go crazy… Just flip the script!
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How to deal with LMR There are three ways that I deal with LMR. 1. Two steps forward and one step back. If I am getting heavy resistance when I am escalating I go into a two steps forward one step back mode. If you take a look at the Kino escalation ladder in the Kino chapter you can just simply follow a two step forward one back. Linger on the step you went back to then try to push forward again. Repeat until you get to where you want to go. It works. 2. The Freeze out. This is more of an extreme tactic. It works and I have done it but it is a last ditch effort and if you don’t do it correctly she will smell the reactive nature of it. Basically if you have hit a brick wall when escalating you completely stop and start doing something else. Getting up and watching TV or checking your email will work. The girl will become upset because you stopped stimulating her physically and we all love stimulation. Then you play dumb!!! Oh I thought you didn’t want to do anything more so I am not doing anything more. Then you go back to escalating and if she stops you then again completely stop and do something else. Repeat and you will break through the barrier but this has to be done in a way where you are not getting angry and she isn’t thinking you are reacting to her. Best way to do it is almost play dumb. If you ever get angry she will lose all her attraction for you.
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3. More Time. Most people in the community won’t say it but sometimes when all else fails you just need to spend more time with the girl. NOTICE: Now is not the time to freak out. You must maintain your cool. Instead of getting mad and thinking she won’t have sex with you think about how she is in your bed already so it’s only a matter of time before you have sex. If it doesn’t happen now it will happen the next time. The thing that will screw you up is if you get angry. If you get angry the girl will lose all attraction she had for you. Keep your cool and chill and try the next morning.
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Chapter 30:
Inner Game and Solidifying Confidence
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The secret to good Inner game The secret to getting amazing good inner game is that there is no secret. What inner game comes down to for me is forming new beliefs inside your mind. Beliefs such as having abundance with women and having true confidence in your skill that you can get any woman you want. This only happens from going out and practicing until you have enough experience that your internal thought patterns change. There is no short cut. Creating Long Lasting confidence Everyone always asks how you do it. It’s really quite simple but extremely time consuming. You have to flood your subconscious with new experiences where everything works with women. Think about it. If you have had bad experiences for five, ten, or twenty years trying to figure women out then you have to un do all of that internal conditioning. This takes time. The only way to really get good at something and truly believe you are good at it is to practice and reinforce that you are good. Once you have enough experiences it will click and you will see the light. It is easy because it’s simple but it requires great commitment. You won’t get there over night but I promise if you stick with it eventually you will get there.
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Chapter 31:
Getting Good
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The trick to getting really amazingly good is to always practice the basics. The biggest pit fall most people will run into is when they are following the steps and taking action and then they start to get results. They start getting decent results and then they think they don’t need to follow the stuff anymore. Your brain will tell you that you don’t need all the tactics, techniques, and it will tell you that you don’t need to take action anymore. It will trick you and you will coast on the decent results you are already getting. You coast on the momentum for a while and then revert back to your old self before you have done anything long enough to fully integrate it. To truly get good and maintain you have to do something for years. I know you don’t want to hear it but I really think it takes at least 4 years to learn something if not a decade to become a true master. How bad do you want it? If you stop you will become rusty but game is like muscle memory and with any practice it will come right back really fast. Go practice and get the girl of your dreams. Practice and get the social skills so that you can keep her. If you ever have questions just email us.
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