Planning the Perfect Date

Brad P. Presents: Planning the Perfect Date

Press and Testimonials “There's no question that Brad has some serious skill. I saw him take over a seated 10 set Bachelorette party and have them laughing and totally under his control. When I botched one of my own sets, he came in and winged for me, and helped me salvage it by holding two extremely hostile girls while I number closed their friend. But the highlight of the night came when he showed the power of recognizing and tapping into buying temperature first hand. Right in front of me, he made eye contact with a girl, and within 30 seconds, was making out with her. This is 100% true, and was the fastest make out I have ever witnessed. Apparently, after the hour long end of the night breakdown he held with all of the students, he finished the job.” -SilverHawkMC , Student

“In the field, Brad P. is the best that I have seen ....Using Brad's material, I got 3 e-mails and 2 of those came with phone numbers. When you average 1 phone number a month, getting that much in a single night is a windfall.” -GreyGoose, Student

“First and foremost Brad is the real deal, he understands and is able to use pick up/seduction techniques. I watched him open a girl and 30 seconds later he was making out with her in a hallway. Brad is really good at pinpointing where someone’s game is and giving them openers to use to develop from that point.” -41, Student

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www.BradPpresents.com | [email protected]


“Brad P is one of the best dating coaches around, a true original. He was the first person I went out on a mission with and was the one who got me going on pickup in the first place.” - Eric M., Former Student

“I have great respect for Brad P., I think he is probably the most qualified person to teach in the whole community. Bar none. It's weird though, a book on openers, cos' that's one thing the community has no shortage of really, but on the other hand these are Brad P. openers, and he is having sex ALL the fucking time, so perhaps they are worth paying a little bit more attention to.” -Goose, Student

“I have field tested Brad's shocker openers, of which Horse girl is one, and I can tell you they work. It is easy to create your own shocker openers and that keeps things interesting.” -Equal, Student

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© 2007 Underground Dating Seminar Corp. "Instant Attraction Featuring 'The Shocker'" is copyright 2006 and is owned by Brad P. and The Underground Dating Seminar Corporation. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. If you obtained this book through illegal means, please send me $39 immediately. My email address is [email protected] and I take paypal. By obtaining this book you agree to the following: you acknowledge that the information contained in this book is an opinion, and that you are responsible for your own actions. Each book is individually numbered and coded and can be individually identified. This coding includes the buyer's full name, credit card number, billing address, expiration date, and cvvs number. Each book contains at least one deliberate typographical error, automatically generated during each sales process. Each book or book segment can be traced back to it's original owner. UDS has retained the Agency Security Group, Inc. to actively search all file sharing networks to track down those who participate in intellectual property theft. We have also retained a number of students and members of the seduction community to monitor the file sharing networks. By opening this file, you agree that you will be held liable for civil damages including, but not limited to, cost of enforcement and lost sales. These civil proceedings will be a matter of public record and your identity will not be confidential.

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Table of Contents PART I: THE PREMISE.............................................................................................. 5 Chapter 1 - Introduction........................................................................................ 5 PART II: FEMALE PSYCHOLOGY.................................................................................. 9 Chapter 2 – Female Psychology 101 ....................................................................... 9 Chapter 3- The Slut Factor................................................................................... 10 Chapter 4 – The 5 Categories............................................................................... 20 PART II: THE PLAN................................................................................................. 46 Chapter 5 – Pre-Game......................................................................................... 46 PART III: TALKING A GOOD GAME............................................................................ 74 Chapter 8 – Conversation & Humor ...................................................................... 74 Chapter 9 – Special Situations ............................................................................. 90 PART IV: WRAP UP................................................................................................. 98 Chapter 10 - Final Points...................................................................................... 98 Chapter 11 - Where I Learned This Stuff............................................................... 100 Frequently Asked Questions:.............................................................................. 101

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PART I: THE PREMISE Chapter 1 - Introduction All right, you made your approach. You got her number. Now what? You’re thinking of calling her and asking her out to dinner? Someplace nice, where they put candles on the table but no prices on the menu? Where you can really show her what you’re worth? Lucky for you, this book is going to save you some time, dignity, and a whole bunch of money. First off, put down your phone, put her number aside, and forget that hottie ever existed until you can honestly say you understand the material in every chapter of this book. Without the right strategies, dating can become a high pressure, painful process. We’ve all been there. An hour has passed and you’re nowhere near getting physical, your date looks bored, and the price of the flowers you brought, the wine you ordered, the lobster she ordered; they’re all ticking up in your head. To women, being asked to dinner is the first stage of courtship, which as you're about to learn, was not designed to end in a sweaty heap on your bed. For those of you who’ve enjoyed the occasional one-night stand, do me a favor. Take a moment right now and count how many of your one-night stands followed dinner dates. I’m no psychic, but I’m willing to bet most, if not all, followed some kind of a group event, like a party or work gettogether, or maybe even some kind of shared stressful event like studying for an exam. Why? No matter how charming or impressive you come off on a dinner date, most of the time all it gets you is a lame kiss on the cheek and more dinner dates. Dinner dates do not get you sex. Dinner dates do not excite women. And, if you’re anything like me before I knew better, you’ve been on some terrible dinner dates (You: trying to make eye contact across a table. Her: more absorbed in her fork than anything you have to say?) After a date like that, not only do you not get to see the woman again, you didn’t even have fun seeing her the first time.

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The good news? I suffered through these nightmare dinner dates so that you never have to. I learned my lessons, and now I’m going to share them with you, so listen up: Dinner dates are the worst way to begin with a new woman. From now on, they are absolutely off limits, at least until after you’ve slept with the woman you’re interested in. Until then, pretend you don’t eat dinner anymore. Save dinner dates for times you need to impress your coworkers, or better yet, for celebrating your twentieth wedding anniversary. In fact, just using the word "date" puts you at a distinct disadvantage with women. From now on, you'll arrange times to "hang out" or make plans to "meet up" with the women you approach. Do not say the word “date.” No more: “Would you like to go out on a date with me?” You are done asking women for dates. You’re wondering, “Well what’s the difference between going on a date and "hanging out"? The words “hanging out” suggest a relaxed and casual situation. It’s what you do with your friends, right? This does two things immediately. It gives her a chance to win YOU over (rather than the other way around), and it subverts any expectations she has of going on a high-pressure traditional dinner date. Casual and fun is what hanging out implies, and you are striving to create that feeling with these women. But unlike hanging out with people you’ve known for years, hanging out with all the hot girls you approach is not going to go smoothly unless you make an effort to take charge of the situation. Especially in the beginning, when you don’t know a lot about her likes and dislikes, the best strategy is for you to plan out the time in advance. I know that sounds like a contradiction. If you don’t know a woman, how can you make a great plan without her input? One of the biggest secrets to dealing with women is that pandering to all their likes and dislikes doesn’t make for good seduction. It makes for good husband

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material. A seducer keeps women in a perpetual state of wanting whatever he is willing to give, regardless of that woman’s personal tastes. When a seducer chooses to acknowledge a woman’s preferences, it is often for the purpose of confusion. Taking the lead and creating confusion are two of the biggest topics I’m going to discuss. They are the backbone of success, and they let you move quickly from the approach to wherever you want to be with the women you meet. From now on, you lead and she follows. How do I know she’ll agree to follow? Because she won’t know your plan, so she has no choice but to follow your lead. Once you've read this book, you will not only know how to get her to go along with your crazy schemes, but how to get and keep her excited and aroused simply because she doesn't have a clue what she's doing, where she's going, or how the night will end. Taking the lead is sexy. The most important thing to remember about the meet-up is that you control the outcome. If you’re having fun, odds are she’ll be having fun. If you’re unhappy and confused, she’ll be even more unhappy and confused. Then she will be annoyed. And then, she will be out the door. Just as in the approach, fear is the enemy of a great first meet-up. To achieve your goal, you must never rule out the possibility of reaching that goal—not mentally, physically, not even geographically. Women are crazy for confident men. Even the women who say they hate dominant men will not complain so long as they are enjoying themselves. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen. The key is never to back down and never acknowledge the possibility of failure. And the rules? Set a goal for yourself, then live up to it. Take the lead. Be dominant.

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Sound easy? It's not. Chances are you will need to make major adjustments in the way you view dating before you can jump beyond your current success rates. In the next 80 pages, I'm going to tell you secrets few men have ever heard, some things women never ever want you to read about, and lots and lots of other things I've discovered by going on hundreds of dates and analyzing the outcome over the course of many years. Dates are not like opening a fortune cookie. They aren't amazing or horrible because the universe wanted them to be. They go well when you make them go well. My book is going to teach you how to plan a successful meet-up all the way from your first phone call to the morning after. Just like you learned with your approaches, there are concrete steps you can follow. (Lost on approaching? Check out Seminar 1 or the Instant Attraction eBook.) The steps themselves aren’t hard to understand, but it will take time and effort to make them a part of your game. At first, you might feel awkward, but I promise you, the more you practice these steps , the sooner they will stop feeling strange and the more success you will have with them. Eventually the new techniques become second nature. Then you’ll start adding steps of your own, and that’s what will ultimately make you unique and fascinating to the women you attract. Got all that? You will. Let’s begin.

REVIEW THE CONCEPTS -Dinner dates are boring. They don't lead to sex, they lead to courting. -Taking the lead is sexy. -You can control the outcome of your dates by using advanced concepts and techniques you will learn in this book. NEXT UP: A highly focused lesson in female psychology will give you the basis for succeeding on dates. page 8 of 102

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PART II: FEMALE PSYCHOLOGY Chapter 2 – Female Psychology 101 You could study the details and nuances of female psychology for a lifetime and still not come close to mastering it. The female psyche is a VAST topic, and it has frustrated (and defeated!) men for thousands of years before now. So, instead of trying to master the entire subject, we're going to focus on the most pertinent areas for successful dating. These are:

1)The Slut Factor 2)The 5 Categories Sure, there are countless other subjects in female psychology worth learning about, but as far as dating is concerned, these two areas are the most important and least talked about in our society. Much of what you need to know about female psychology you can learn from more mainstream books or college courses, but there are no mainstream sources for these two topics. All of the dating strategies I discuss in later chapters are designed to achieve 2 goals: 1) To help you avoid the slut factor--it is a ticking time bomb that must be disarmed in order to succeed. 2) To get you placed in the best category by every woman you meet.

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Chapter 3- The Slut Factor You've heard men call women sluts, women call other women sluts—you've probably even called a few women a slut yourself. But what does it mean? Is it a woman who sleeps with a lot of men? Or one who likes sex? Maybe it’s a girl who cheats on her boyfriend? Here's what the dictionary says: Slut: A) a dirty, slovenly woman; B) an immoral or dissolute woman; C) a woman considered sexually promiscuous; D) a woman prostitute I guarantee you that "E) None of the above," is where every woman wants to be. A woman can become a slut to her family, her friends, her boyfriend, to the entire world without ever actually having sex with a single person, let alone fifty-four. Being punished for “bad” behavior (especially the kind that never really happened) is a very real, very frightening possibility for women throughout their lives. This fear inhibits most women from experiencing sexual exhilaration and sexual freedom on the deepest levels. I call this phenomenon "The Slut Cage." Most women live their entire lives locked in this cage, and only a man in the "Seducer" category holds the key to unlock her secret fantasies. Your job then, if you want her to feel comfortable, erotic, and excited, is to make sure the woman you're out with never feels like a slut or looks like a slut to herself or anyone else in the room.

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Forget the fact that your date showed up in stilettos and a barely-legal length of skirt. Forget that she's sucking her martini straw in the way that just makes you want to grab her hand and pull her into the men's room. Forget her sexy laugh, her winks, and all the sly comments she's making. To her, none of that means she's trying to be a slut. She's being sexy. She's being a woman. She’s acting the way movies, books and television tell her she should to be desired by men. But the moment that girl, or any girl, feels like you see her as a slut, all her sexiness will dry up. Her legs will cross, her face will turn to stone, and neither one of you will be any having fun at all.

Now for the confusing part: Girls like sex. Girls love sex. They like being close to men. They like being touched. Most girls even like being f*cked, if they were being honest. Most men are brought up to believe that there are only two kinds of women in the world-nice girls and sluts. They think any woman who actually wants sex must fall into the slut category. The problem with this thinking is that all women have both sides to them to some degree: the “nice girl” side and the “slutty” side. Even the nicest nice girls have secret fantasies about dirty sexual acts. Even the sluttiest looking girls have a hidden sweet and shy side if you really get to know them. As men, our narrow-minded view of women prevents us from understanding this dichotomy. But without acknowledging this complexity, you limit your ability to unlock the Slut Cage.

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It’s like this: women live in a perpetual state of tension between wanting to be good and wanting to be sexy. They think they have to be sexy to get our attention but good to hold onto it long enough to get married. This tension is part of what attracts us to women. We experience the urge to push them back and forth between the two categories. When she’s being so good and serious (think of the hot librarian), all we want to do is distract her and turn her on until she’s drooling for it. And once she’s begging, we almost want to kiss her forehead and tell her to be good and wait for it. It’s this tension that creates much of the excitement of dating and relationships, but few men understand this on an explicit level.

Why are women so worried about looking like a slut? 1) Social standing is very important to women. It's vastly more important than sex. A slut has very little social standing among women, and while she may be popular with

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men for a short while, the truth is she doesn't have much social worth to them either. She’s never the girl you “bring home to Mom.” 2) Women use the vague possibility of sex to get and keep power in a relationship. This happens in all aspects of life, not just dating. The harder it appears to get sexual favors from a woman, the more men will want them. The more men want from her, the more power she has over them. Playing hard to get is POWER. Men will bend over backwards to please a woman if they want the sex she is holding back. Women stand to gain more than just social standing by holding off on sex--they can obtain promotions at work, preferential treatment at clubs, free jewelry or drinks, even love or vast sums of money. . .the list goes on and on. If a woman gives away sex too easily, she gives away that power, too. It's important to remember that, for women, being a slut is not the same thing as engaging in slutty behavior. Given the opportunity, in a safe non-judgmental environment, girls love to play sex games. They enjoy being spanked and doing other things they think of as dirty. Partly, it’s the good girl/bad girl tension that makes these games so enjoyable for them. But they need to know that their behavior behind the bedroom door will not cause them embarrassment or a lowered social value outside of the bedroom. How do you make sure your date feels safe to be sexually liberated? There are lots of ways. The first and most important is to take the lead and don't let it drop, even for a moment. When women become indecisive, they start to rethink all the choices they've been making. The choice to meet up with you, the choice to wear that revealing dress, the choice to come back to your apartment—hell, they may start to regret kissing Bobby Chester on the playground in sixth grade! In women, indecision is often followed by panic, and that panic will send her straight for the door. You may be wondering, ”What's the big deal about taking the lead? Why can't the woman decide where to go for once?” Taking the lead does not feel natural to women. It feels more natural for them to follow the lead, but only if it’s with someone they trust or someone that they are attracted to. She may be perfectly happy to take the lead on

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projects at work, or with her group of friends, but when on a date, never. She does not want the pressure of choosing, then being held responsible if you do not have a good time. The last issue is that a woman is extremely unlikely to plan a date that leads to or ends with sex. Planning things around the possibility of sex is behavior associated with men and prostitutes. The risk of negative repercussions is just too daunting for most women. Because she is unlikely to take the necessary steps toward having sex, she needs you to take the lead.

That's the only chance she has of getting laid without being considered a slut, and she knows it. If you take the lead and sex occurs, she can look at is as something that "just happened." Once you've effectively taken the lead, the next thing to keep in mind is displaying a nonjudgmental, comfortable attitude about sex. You must show that you are a sexually comfortable person. Not needy. Not in a rush. Totally in control of the way you touch her. Totally in control of your sexual urges, but never ashamed of your sexuality. If the subject of sex comes up, you must indirectly communicate that you believe it is a normal, healthy, exciting part of life. Specifically:

1) Never talk badly about your ex or imply that your ex was a slut. 2) If she gives you hints that she is a sexually active person, treat it as a very normal thing. Do not act shocked or judgmental. 3) Show insider knowledge of women's secret sexual lives. You can do this through storytelling, for example:

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"My old roommate just broke up with her boyfriend and she's in this, kind of....partying phase right now. She was telling me about a few of the guys she's been dating and a few she's slept with, and it seems like it's been really good for her to get out and have some fun for once. She was just staying in all the time before, totally bored with her boyfriend. She seems a lot happier now."

Notice how I just glossed over the fact that this girl is sleeping around and presented it as a normal phase that women go through. This may seem like a very subtle point, but women will pick up on it. The fact of the matter is, most young women today go through a cycle of sexual exclusivity followed by sexual variety.

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Have a look at this diagram, which explains the various sociosexual phases that women go through:

Figure 1: The sexual cycle of a normal young woman.

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If you can communicate that you understand this pattern in subtle ways, you let a woman know that it's OK to be sexual with you. There won’t be any negative repercussions if she does. She understands that you're not going to tell everyone about it, and you're not going to start calling her five times a day professing your undying love. It shows her that you know having sex is a normal thing single people do.

Keep in mind that these 2 nightmare scenarios have probably happened to her or someone she knows.

Nightmare #1: She had casual sex with a guy and he told everyone. Nightmare #2: She had casual sex with a guy, and he became obsessed, annoying, guilty, or “weird about it” the next day.

By telling a story like the one I mentioned earlier, you communicate to her that sleeping with you would not result in either of these nightmare scenarios.

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If the “Slut” topic comes up in conversation (and she will make sure it does), here's the rules:

-If a female friend of yours or hers is sleeping around, it's OK because it's part of the cycle. -If there's someone she doesn't like sleeping around, that chick is a HUGE SLUT!! Women will often go on tirades about how they hate sluts, or they will tell stories about other women doing slutty things. If you are part of one of those conversations, do not get drawn in. Do not join in the trash-talking. You can politely agree, you can smile and nod, but try to change the subject ASAP. The longer that conversation goes on, the more the woman will get into an anti-sex state of mind. The good thing about this type of conversation is that it is usually an indicator that the woman is attracted to you. She's trying to impress you with the fact that she is not a slut. She's starting to test your attitudes about sex. Perhaps she's thinking there's a chance she might sleep with you soon, so she needs to figure out if you are one of those judgmental men who would think less of her if she did. Make a note: if a woman starts talking about how she hates slutty girls, that's a good sign! Just be sure to get her off the topic fast. The slut factor is ALWAYS A FACTOR. Never forget it. The goal of your date is to get her to desire you, to make her want to touch you and be near you, but without ever making her fear the social repercussions of doing so. Make her feel like she could have incredible sex with you all night long, and she would never be punished for it by losing your respect or

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losing social standing. The slut factor is a ticking time bomb that must be carefully defused if you want to reach your goal. Tread smart and tread lightly.

Review the Concepts –

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Women live in a constant state of struggle and sexual tension. They want to be sexy, but they don't want to be slutty. They want to be bad, but they want to be good. Being viewed as a slut has serious consequences. If you take the lead, she does not feel responsible for her decisions and behaviors. Therefore, she could not possibly be a slut. Normal women go through a cycle of sexual exclusivity followed by sexual variety. This is not a well known fact, and most women will not freely admit to it unless you first show that you already know about it. Never join into an anti-slut tirade. Just change the topic when you can. An anti-slut tirade is a sign the woman is interested in you.

Next Up- Learning about the 5 categories she puts all men into will help you make wise decisions planning the date and help you make adjustments on the fly during the date.

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Chapter 4 – The 5 Categories Women break down all men they meet into 5 categories. When does it happen? Usually during the first 3 hours of interaction, sometimes as soon as 5 minutes in. By the end of your first meeting, she will have you FIRMLY pegged into one of these five categories. Knowing what category you want to be in and doing what it takes to get there is the key to successful dating. Not only that, you also want to avoid the behavior that gets you lumped into the undesirable categories. Why do women do this? For the same reason, when playing a hand of poker, you keep cards together that are likely to be played together. Dividing men into smaller groups helps women keep tabs on their current options. It lets women process the large numbers of men constantly approaching them and pick out their best options. Categorizing is a way of being practical and time-efficient. It also allows women to talk with their female friends about their social life using simple categories that other women will understand. Here are the 5 categories:

Creepy First category: "Creepy." That's right, as in, "Ewww, that guy was so creepy!" You need to avoid this category at all costs. Once a girl finds you creepy, hears you are creepy from her friends, or even sees you hanging around with another guy she finds creepy, you're done. Game over. Universally, women use the word "creepy" to describe men they aren't interested in. A strong emotional response is attached to the word creepy. There's an intense physical

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response that comes along with creepy—a kind recoiling. Ever accidentally stepped in vomit on the street? Yeah. That reaction. Who makes up this category? Guys with bad timing. Guys with bad breath. Guys who invade personal space. Guys who are too silent, too affectionate, too anything too soon in the approach or initial meeting-up stages. Women trust their intuition, and once a woman finds you creepy, she will lock up faster than a bar at last call. Two big mistakes that creepy guys make are: being physical without the proper amount of attraction and showing neediness too early in a relationship (worst of all, on a first date!). Confused? OK, imagine you’re on a first date, and the woman you just met last week leans over and whispers in your ear, "I really like you. I think I want to hang out all the time. You won’t ever leave me, will you?" Creepy, right? That's exactly how a woman feels when she hears the same kind of talk from a man. What’s worse, women are experts at spotting creepy signs a hundred times more subtle than the scene I just laid out. In fact, if most women tried to tell you exactly why they found some guy creepy, you'd be listening to a never-ending list of examples, such as the way he held his drink, the way he scratched his neck, or the exact grip he used when he took her by the hand. Sounds crazy, because it is crazy. A women gets the creepy vibe when the man approaching her has weak, uncertain, or confused energy—if he is too desperate for her attention, if he approaches her as if he knows she has higher social value than he does and expects to be rejected, or, as if his life depends on having to touch her. All the silly signs women try to use to explain why they find a guy creepy--they all really refer back to that needy vibe. So don't bother trying to learn how to hold your glass or scratch your neck. Those things don't actually matter. What matters is whether you approach women with a sense of timing, confidence, and that certain form of indifference I’m going to teach you. Here's a few simple things to avoid in order to prevent the creepy vibe: 1. Don’t lean in too much.

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Wait until she's leaning in, then you can lean in. 2. Don’t express too much interest, too soon. It's better to have the woman confused about whether you like her or not in the beginning. Sending mixed signals works better than expressing interest directly. 3. Avoid badly timed touching. The proper way to touch a woman is as follows: First do a small touch like a quick stroke on the knee or a short touch of the hand. Then read her response to this touch. Women give signals telling you whether the touching was OK. Most men don't pay enough attention to these signals.

Negative Signals: Moving back slightly, looking away, pulling her hand away slightly, turning her body slightly away from you. Positive Signals: Increased physical interaction, leaning into the touch, touching you back a minute or two later, or touching you back immediately. There is ALWAYS a signal. If you think she didn't send a signal, that means you missed it, and you need to do your small touch again. If you get a positive signal, wait a bit, and then do a more significant touch such as stroking the upper arm or stroking the lower thigh. Read her reaction to this. The last step would be stroking her hair or holding her hand for a minute or two. If you skip to step 3 without doing steps 1 and 2, it often gets you a one-way ticket to Creepyville. Always read a woman’s reaction to your touch. Nonverbal communication is something you can always improve on, and skills in this area will take you very far with women. Sometimes it's possible to move very quickly through these various steps, but it is

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important that you do not skip any of the steps, and that you always pay close attentions to the woman's signals. To make things a little more complicated, if you get a girl attracted to you, and then you don't touch her soon enough, you risk falling into the Friend Zone.

Figure 2: When to touch

Knowing about the “Creepy” category gives you a chance to show off your insider knowledge of the female world. Joking about creepiness is an easy ticket to hearing more details about a woman’s life or sharing amusing, high-value information about yours. Try telling a story about an experience you once had with a creepy girl (Think "Fatal Attraction", "The Crush", etc.). This puts you on the same side as the woman—the cool side where everyone is so desirable that dealing with creeps and their sad come-ons is a fact of life. No woman escapes having a few interactions with creepy dudes by the time she's eighteen, so she will sympathize with any story you can share about your own creepy experiences.

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Here are a few examples of stories I sometimes tell a woman to show that I understand how awful it is when creepy people hit on her:

"So I was out dancing the other night, and this girl who looked like a lesbian came up to me and started talking REALLY close to my face. She said 'Oooooh, you're a metrosexual, I'm metrosexual too, we should hang out.'” "I was like, ewwww, so creepy!"

"What is up with women these days? They're so damn aggressive. Half of the girls I meet try to make out with me in the first 20 minutes of meeting. It's like, 'Hellooooo…can't you just hold your horses?' (pause) 'Hey, you know what I just noticed? You've been sitting next to me for 35 minutes now, and you haven't tried to make out with me once yet! You get points for that."

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If you find yourself in the creepy-zone, cut your losses and move on to the next candidate. Always remember:

THERE'S NO RETURN FROM CREEPYVILLE! One of the most common mistakes men make is to chase after a woman who already has rejected him or finds him creepy. JUST LET IT GO. There's probably another girl who looks just like her within a 3 block radius.

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Friend Zone So you’ve coasted in under her Creepy Radar. The second category to avoid is the "Friend Zone". Like the "Creepy" category, it’s very difficult to move out of the "Friend Zone" once you’ve been placed there. You’ll need to follow a few important moves to bypass this category altogether. First off, one of the dumbest things a man can do is purposely put himself in the Friend Zone. Many men try to befriend a woman in order to "work on her" for a while in hopes that she'll become interested in him later. I call this the "befriend-and-date" strategy. If you’ve used this method in the past, don’t feel alone; the idea that this approach works is one of the most commonly held misconceptions for men. "Friends first" is such a bullshit motto that even the women who swear by those exact words ignore them completely when an attractive man walks into the room.

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If you go out of your way to become friends with a woman, it is highly unlikely you will ever be anything else to that woman. Do not, I repeat, do not, try to seem non-threatening, helpful, sympathetic, or otherwise overly friendly to women you have just met. You can be friendly, but don't be an ass-kisser. No one liked the ass-kissers in 7th grade, and no one likes them now. Trying to attract a woman from within the Friend Zone only makes you look desperate and dependent. Women look at men who hit on female friends as men who are too pathetic or lazy to meet women outside their circle. It’s seen as opportunistic, pure and simple. Unfortunately, for many men, "befriend and date" is the primary way they have learned to relate to and pursue women. It seems like a nice thing to do—to build respect and affection before attempting to pursue a woman sexually. Mostly, men think it’s a sound approach because they hear women loudly supporting this idea.

If you learn nothing else from this book, learn to pay more attention to what women ACTUALLY DO than what they SAY THEY DO. In practice, even the women who support the theory of “Friends first” do not respond the way they say they will respond. Don’t get me wrong—there is nothing wrong with being friends with women. It's good to have friends, and if a woman has value to you as a friend, that's great. She might even have other attractive female friends that you will get to meet

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and hang out with, and that alone will raise your social value. One thing I like to do with an attractive woman is to tell her that she's in MY friend zone. I politely and kindly inform her that I’m out of her league. Sounds ridiculous right? But women say this to men all the time. What’s crazy is that it drives them insane to hear it about themselves. Why? Women want everyone around them to have a sexual interest. It's what they're groomed to do. Women spend their entire lives learning how to appear attractive and likable to the opposite sex. They assume that even their male "friends" are attracted to them, but that those men desire their friendship so much that they manage to suppress the sexual attraction, for fear of ruining the friendship. Ridiculous, I know. But just tell a woman you've just met the following, and see for yourself what happens:

“You're in my friend zone.” If she was mildly attracted to before, this is likely to put her over the edge if delivered at the right time.

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Moral of the story is: if you think you'll become that woman’s friend and later switch it up and get with her, you’re mistaken. It's just not gonna happen. Furthermore, it's a bad, desperate state of mind to be in. Make it your policy to never again employ this "befriend and date" strategy. The best way to stay out of the friend zone is to communicate early through touching as I described in the first section. This lets women know that there is a sexual undertone to the interaction. Sexual interest should be communicated through touching, not words. This results is confusion. There is a sexual undertone, but you haven't verbalized interest. Confusion is exciting and attractive. If you directly verbalize your sexual interest to a woman on a date, you'll give away your power, ruin the beautiful confusion you've created, and, worst of all, risk making her feel like a slut. Orbiter Many men mistake the idea of friendship with women for this third category: the Orbiter. What's an Orbiter? An orbiter is a guy who an attractive woman allows to hang around her. He’s not quite a friend, but he’s “okay” enough not to be considered Creepy. Women keep Orbiters around to raise their social standing, to get favors, or as an easy source of amusement. Signs you just may be an Orbiter: •You've bought the last 4 rounds of drinks for her friends. •You've never met up with just her alone . •She calls you when she needs a ride, favor, loan, or something else even your friends don't normally ask for. •She jokingly refers to you as "one of her boys". •She calls you 1-2 times a month/year/decade.

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As an Orbiter, you have no bargaining power. In fact, she probably doesn't actually need anything that you provide. You're an afterthought.

Why some women "collect" Orbiters: To many women, life is an endless popularity contest between them and their friends. One way a girl can get ahead in this contest is to have lots of different men (Orbiters) hanging around, paying attention to her and performing favors for her. Male attention is the currency that fuels female social competition. Don't be a sucker. Don't become a pawn in someone else's popularity contest.

Just say “No” to orbiting.

Now that you understand Orbiter behavior, you will start to notice what I call "Orbiter invitations." Sometimes a woman will reject your direct advances, but then she will continue to lead you on in small ways. For example, a woman might refuse to give you her phone number, but then she might ask you to drop by and visit her at work. Men find this kind of behavior terribly confusing. Why would a woman reject your outright and then lead you on two seconds later? I myself was extremely frustrated by this kind of behavior back in the days before I decoded the female brain.

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The bottom line is: she's trying to use you to impress the other woman at her job. Never accept Orbiter invitations. Respond, "Yeah, you wish!" and keep pushing for her number. If she just isn’t interested, it’s better to find out right away and not waste more time playing her Orbiter games. Here's another Orbiter situation: a girl meets you, but you two barely talk. Yet every once in a while, she text messages you to meet her at some bar. I guarantee you, she’s sent that group message to ten other guys. Then she will turn to her friends and say, "Oh my God, all these guys are showing up and hitting one me, what's up with that?"

I know women who do this. In fact, even some of the women I sleep with do this! I'll show up to meet them somewhere, and I'll have to pull them away from a pack of Orbiters to get them to come home with me. High caliber women tend to collect Orbiters more aggressively and effectively than average women, so if you start approaching or dating the top notch hotties like I do, you will run into this sort of stuff all the time. Another way you can keep yourself from becoming an Orbiter is to make fun of men you see who are Orbiters. That shows women you don't take any shit. That you're not a

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sucker like most guys. Orbiters are doormats. You ought to have the self-respect to never let anyone use you as a pawn. I cannot stress this enough! Here's one more Orbiter story to really drive the point home: A couple of years ago I was walking back to my car in a parking lot, and another car backed up into my car. Small dent, no big deal. A man and woman get out of the other car. The woman was driving. She starts to act upset and helpless, like she’s the victim, and the guy--total Orbiter--says to me, "How about I just give you $100 and we'll just forget the whole thing. No? OK, $200?" The girl is saying, “No no, you don't have to do this,” but she's half-assing it. The guy says, “No I want to do this. You've had a really hard day.” From their body language, I could tell you that they were not boyfriend and girlfriend, and what’s more, I can swear to you that this guy did not get laid. That $200 got him nowhere. Sure, I’ll bet she wanted to reciprocate his favor in some way, but women find it extremely problematic to get involved in a sexual relationship, or be attracted to someone, as a result of Orbiter actions. Why? Trading sex for favors basically amounts to prostitution. Being indebted to a man doesn't make women horny…guilty perhaps, but guilt is short lived and way too mixed up with anger and desperation to merit a place in your social life. In the end, that Orbiter was just a doormat. In our culture, that kind of behavior is encouraged in men, but it doesn't really work out to anyone's advantage. Except, in this last case, mine. I took the $200.

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Make a mental note of this: A woman will never have sex with you because she feels like she owes you something.

Women NEVER repay favors with blow jobs.

NEVER! If you think they do, you're taking those porno plot lines WAY too seriously. Alrighty then. You now know, if you're in the Creepy, Friend Zone, or Orbiter categories, you have very little chance of succeeding with that woman. You're sabotaging yourself, and you need to stop it NOW! 1) Don't be creepy. 2) Stop trying to "befriend and date." 3) Stop orbiting. That shit doesn't work. Let's talk about the two categories where you do have a chance. Providers and Seducers.

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Provider/Husband Of the last two categories, one—the Husband/Provider—is the golden category of men women claim they live for the chance of meeting. Even men who don't quite fit this category often get placed here as a kind of hopeful gesture. In human courtship, the woman attempts to find out whether or not a prospective mate (Yes, that includes you, horny guy at the bar) will provide everything that she and her future offspring require. In the modern world, read: money, money, and more money. The Husband/Provider category is a really common category to be put in, once you make it past all the Creepy/Friend Zone and Orbiter pitfalls. Why? Because the only other category left is the Seducer category, and women would like you to believe that the Seducer category doesn't exist. It's an extremely well-kept secret. Since women pretend it doesn't exist, even to themselves, they will try with all their might to make you fit into the Husband/Provider category instead. "Traditional dating" is intimately connected to this category. The idea here is that you make advances that the girl evaluates, and all of your meetings with her are about proving yourself, spending cash, and trying to earn her approval. She will make you jump through more and more hoops, and, eventually, you might end up in a relationship, but always on her terms. I don't recommend that you intentionally put yourself in the Husband/Provider category. Even if you are looking for a wife, your best bet is to seduce her first. Then, you will have a much better chance of marrying her than if you had started in the Husband/Provider category. You can easily switch yourself into the Husband/Provider category later, if that’s

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what you feel it’s time to do. If it’s not time to get married, and you end up in this category, it's no one's fault but your own. There are easy actions you can take to prevent it. Women putting you into the Husband/Provider category leads to situations that take the fun out things for both you and her. Women don't mean to take the fun out of things. They're not doing it intentionally—it's just social programming. They are instructed by society and instinct to put as many good men as possible in this category so they can then select the best match. In order to stay out, it's important to stay unpredictable, to not kiss ass, and to use all the techniques I outline in the next few chapters. But basically: Don't go on dinner dates. Dinner dates are the ultimate symbol of the Husband/Provider type for women. Think about how many movies you've seen where a man proposed to a woman over dinner? Hundreds. It goes right back to caveman days where food (providing!) was associated with a pair-bonded relationship. Dinner dates do not provide you any good opportunities to escalate physically. You can't easily change venues. You're not sitting where you can make a lot of physical contact. Plus, the woman is being observed (or feels she is) by hundreds of other people, making her very self-conscious about her reactions and interactions with you.

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The best example I've ever seen of the awkwardness of dinner dates was in a Steve Martin movie called "Shopgirl." Perhaps you've seen it. In this movie, Steve Martin asks a woman out on a dinner date in the most pathetic way imaginable, by leaving the woman a note saying something like, "Please meet me at such and such restaurant at 8pm Friday. You don't have to answer this note. If you don't show up, I'll just eat alone." (Keep in mind this would NEVER work in real life.) When she arrives for the date, they sit and exchange awkward attempts at conversation for what seems like an eternity. It's truly painful just to watch this date, let alone be on it. On the second date, they meet at his house, and she gets butt-ass naked while he's taking a phone call in the next room. HA! Only in the movies. Trust me, girls do not get naked on your bed with no physical escalation unless you're Tommy Lee, and Tommy Lee would never do anything as dumb as this.

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If you get a chance, be sure to check out "Shopgirl" so you have a very clear picture of what NOT to do. It will also give you some idea of where our ideas about dating come from: completely unrealistic pop culture.

Take a moment to consider some of the sources of discomfort for people on dinner dates: 1) Women being self-conscious about eating and about their weight. 2) Lack of touching. You can't touch the girl because you're sitting across from one another. The longer you go without touching, the harder it will be to make the first move. If you have to sit down somewhere, always sit beside her. 3) Confusion about who's paying. 4) Lots of pressure to create conversation out of thin air. 5) Lack of outside stimulation. At least, in a bar, there's other people around acting ridiculous that you can both comment on. 6) High investment. You look like a "couple" to everyone around. Both people might start to question whether they really feel OK with being a "couple" with the other person. All in all, it's extremely difficult to get a dinner date to turn into sex on the same night. You'd have to be an AMAZING conversationalist just to make it through the first hour of the date and still have her attention. Yet men everywhere continue to push the dinner date agenda every chance they get. So it's simple. To stay out of the Husband/Provider category, avoid dinner dates. Wait a minute, you say? I actually want to get married. OK, great. You can always move

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from the Seducer to the Husband category later if you decide you want to be married. But, if you are in the Husband/Provider category, you can never move back into the Seducer category to have a non-exclusive relationship. The most you could try for would be breakup sex, but that's generally short-lived and damaging to everyone involved.

The reason you can't shift from Husband/Provider to Seducer, is that the woman would feel like you were going backwards in your relationship.

Women in relationships want

PROGRESS. They believe the entire purpose of a relationship is to progress from "dating" to "seeing each other" to "going out" to "getting really serious" to “living together”, to “engaged”, to “married.” Women will sometimes accept staying in one of these stages for a long time, but women NEVER accept moving backwards in these stages. Even women who say they aren't interested in getting married right now will not stand for any kind of a demotion. It's a huge blow to their ego and flies in the face of everything their biological urges are telling them. Have you ever tried to demote your girlfriend to fuck-buddy? She will never be satisfied with this arrangement. I don't recommend it at all; you're far better off starting over with a different woman.

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Here's a diagram to help you understand the categories and the possible mobility between them.

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If you do want to get married sometime soon, consider the following 2 courses you might take to get there:

1)The woman can string you along and make you prove yourself while she takes her sweet time in deciding whether she wants to get serious with you. This is "Traditional Dating." This is the Husband/Provider category. 2)You can start sleeping with the woman immediately, get to know her over a period of time, and then decide whether you want to get serious with her. This is the Seducer category. Both courses can lead to serious relationships and marriage; however, Husband/Provider behavior (spending money, dinner dates, ass kissing, trying to prove yourself) generally results in women withholding sex for as long as possible. Seducer behavior creates excitement and an intense infatuation period. This is a great way to start a serious relationship. It follows just like a romance novel where the woman slowly wins over a seemingly unattainable mate. Seducer The last category is one of the great secrets of the female universe—the Seducer. Some women barely know or believe that this category exists outside of romance novels. The ones who do don't talk about it for some very good reasons. Much of the world might be in complete denial that the seducer category exists, but most

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women have a special place in their hearts and minds reserved for guys who understand seduction. Take it from me; I've seduced more women than I can count, and I can tell you women love to be seduced. However, if they acknowledged that seduction existed, they would risk looking like a slut. Most women, like men, naturally feel sexual. They naturally feel horny. However, as I discussed earlier, the fear of being regarded as a slut puts women in a kind of cage. It takes a lot of fun out of their life and causes a tremendous inner conflict. Most women resist seduction, and this is all part of the fun and excitement of being the Seducer. How much fun would it really be if things were easy?

This is the quintessential irony of male/female relationships. Women act as if they don't want to be sexual or be seduced, yet they respect the man who can seduce them more than they respect any "nice guy." It's not easy to get there, but this is the category where you want to be. Being in the Seducer category is like having use of the queen piece in a chess set. You can move as far as you want in any direction. Do you want to have sex without commitment? No problem. Want to change the rules later and get serious? You can do that too. It's like having the invincible power in a video game. The faster you can put yourself in this category with a woman, the faster you have her complete attention. That includes sexual attention. Learning to become a sexy, seductive man is not easy. There is a tremendous amount of pressure on men to be "nice guys". Here's a few easy seduction concepts that you can apply on dates, and if you need more help, I'd be more than happy to give you 12 hours worth of life-changing knowledge on my CD set, "The Complete System."

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In these 12 CDs, I'll walk you through everything you need to know, from approaching women and getting phone numbers, to phone game, to blowing her mind in the bedroom, to having a girlfriend, even having 5 girlfriends. Confusion Game "Confusion game" is a huge part of my personal seduction arsenal. Girls love to analyze everything. That goes triple for anything that actually involves them. Here's an example: When you start watching a movie, and it's awful, you usually turn it off or walk away. But remember a time when you watched a movie that was bad and confusing? If you didn't finish it, you probably watched it for a lot longer than you would have if you weren't confused. Confused people stick around to figure things out. This is especially true for women. I'm not suggesting you spend some afternoon telling an attractive woman riddles. Confusion should be a subtle part of every aspect of your interaction. It happens when a woman doesn’t know what will happen next in your meet-up (we'll get to this soon); it comes from her not knowing whether you like her, and it comes from the woman not knowing how you expect her to act. That last part is very important to women. Some women, once they know this piece of information, will work very hard to act exactly how you want, and some women will use that information to do the exact opposite of what you want. Others will try to please you. But in either case, they NEED to know what you want. The longer you hold out on this information, the more desperate they will become to know it. Confusion can take many forms. There is good confusion and bad confusion. For example, being lost in the woods would be "bad confusion." You're in real danger and it feels like a nightmare.

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Then there is "fun confusion." For example,do you remember the first time you ever watched a Quentin Tarantino film? The story doesn't seem to be in chronological order, so you feel a bit confused throughout the movie. Then later it all fits together. The confusion you felt earlier was part of the fun of the experience. This is the kind of confusion that enriches the woman's experience during a date. She should feel like she's not quite sure what's going to happen next, but whatever it is, it's going to be something exciting and unexpected. She's in a state of "suspended disbelief." This means that she's not protesting things that would normally seem weird. We all go into states of suspended disbelief every day when we watch T.V. and movies. We stop our tendency to filter out false information in the interest of being entertained. This is one of the most important elements of creating entertainment, and you can use it to your advantage in your dating life. The Dance of Dating If you chase a girl, she will run. If you run from a girl, she will chase. This is what I call "the dance of dating" and it's something most men don't understand. Real Seducers perfect this dance. They begin it from the first words they exchange with a woman and continue during their every interaction forever after. If you've ever seen people dance the Tango (that Spanish dance where the woman has the rose clenched in her teeth, and there's lots of foot stomping and whirling around?), you know that dance is all about seduction. The man and woman are constantly pushing one another away, and it only makes them hotter to touch each other.

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The Business Transaction Many men view dating as a business transaction. They demonstrate something (wealth, power, status), and they expect the woman to reciprocate with sex. I offer you this, you offer me that. Women do not view relationships this way at all. Taking a woman to an expensive restaurant for dinner, buying her flowers, sitting across the table and acting "the perfect gentlemen" for two hours will not drive a woman panting into your bed, because women don’t get turned on by business transactions. I want you to get the "business transaction" idea out of your head right now and start to replace those ideas with new ones. When you are on a date, here are some key concepts to keep in mind to insure that you are being seductive, and not business-like: 1) The man must always take the lead unless the woman strongly and directly states otherwise. 2) Use confusion to create sexual tension. Don't be too easy to read. Don't give simple and direct answers to any of her questions. 3) Make the woman slowly win you over during the course of the date. This means, don't show too much interest too early. 4) Start the touching early on. This way there's no thinking that this is a "friend thing." 5) Make the tone of the interaction fun, not too serious. It's not a merger meeting! Sounds easy enough right? Well it's not as easy as it sounds. This is the problem with many books about dating. They give you the concept without giving your a specific plan. In Chapter 5 we're going to go over SPECIFIC PLANS you can use to implement these ideas.

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REVIEW THE CONCEPTS -Know your 5 categories: Creepy, Friend, Orbiter, Husband, and Seducer. -Your best bet is to be in the seducer category. -Use seduction concepts like “Confusion Game” and “The Dance of Dating” to stay out of the friend zone. -Use early touching to stay out of the friend zone.

NEXT UP: How to get important logistical information that will make or break your date. You can do everything 100% right, but if you ignore logistics, you will always have major setbacks.

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PART II: THE PLAN Chapter 5 – Pre-Game Dating doesn't begin when you open the door to say “Hello” to your date, or when she walks into the coffee shop you agreed to meet at. Your strategy and planning should begin before you even pick up the phone or start to compose the first e-mail. Your goal is to control the situation, and in order to control it, you first need to understand it. After you've approached a woman, always take a moment to replay what, if anything, you've learned about her. This will help the information stay in your memory. If necessary, carry a small notebook and take some notes. Here are some questions you should know at least part of the answer to by the end of your first conversation with a woman: •

Where does she work?

•

What does she do for a living?

•

When does she work? (9 to 5, nights, weekends, only during the school year?)

•

Where does she live?

•

Who does she live with? (VERY IMPORTANT. More on this later.)

•

What does she do for fun?

If your approach happened quickly, or if it was too loud to do much talking, be sure to review this list of questions before your first phone call so that you can be sure to get the answers to them. Don't make this seem like an interrogation or an interview. Usually, if

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you talk about your own answers to these questions (your job, your apartment, your hobbies) she will likely respond by sharing information about hers, or at the very least, you will have a natural opening to ask. Now let's take a moment to examine your own situation. Where you live, both geographically, and the details of your home life, will play a huge role in how you will plan your date. •Do

you live alone?

•Do

you live with family?

•If

you have a roommate/roommates, when are they home?

•Do

you have your own bedroom?

•Do

you have a television and DVD/VCR in your bedroom?

•Is

noise a problem at your apartment at certain times?

•Do

you keep your place neat and clean?

•What

kind of neighborhood do you live in?

•If

you live in a city, are you near public transportation, or is there easy parking close by? •What

places near your apartment would be fun/interesting to go to on a date? Think funky shops, great coffee or desserts, beautiful parks, good people watching areas, anything you can plan around. Focus on some places VERY CLOSE, like WALKING DISTANCE. These will be very important as the final stepping stones to getting back to your place.

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It is important to have all of this logistical information before planning a date, so that you can move the date in the right direction. I mean this completely literally; you want to be able to travel from your venue or venues to the final destination you have selected.

So, you need to decide where you want the date to end--your place or hers. Use the info you've gathered to make this decision. If she lives with her family or 4 roommates, you don't want to move in that direction. If you don't have your own bedroom, and she does, it's a good idea to move the date in the direction of her place. Maybe you think it's unlikely that a girl will let you up on the first meeting? Well think of it this way: it's far less likely that she's going to feel horny, half-naked on a couch three feet outside your roommate's door.

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You can start the meet-up wherever you like, but be sure to plan 2-3 different stops. All of these stops should move naturally in the direction of your end destination.

Figure 3. Always move in the right direction.

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An even better scenario is to start out at the same place you intend to return to. For example if you intend to end at you place, it pays to have the woman meet you there in the beginning. She will feel like she is going to a familiar place when you end up back at your place. Many women will not agree to meet you at your place, but it's worth a shot.

Figure 4. Start at the same place you're going to end up.

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This planning is CRUCIAL. You can do everything else right, she can be incredibly hot for you, and if you don't travel in the right direction and make your final stop VERY close to a good end destination, all your hard work will be for nothing. The girl might be totally attracted to you, feel very safe with you, etc., but if it does not make sense logistically to go up to your place or hers, then you are going to end up spending the night with your hand. If it's too late, too far, she has work early, your place is flooded, she has gossipy roommates---it won't matter how great your date was up until that point. Plus, you can count on the fact that some of her attraction will fade by the next time you hang out, and you will have to redo most of the work you've already done. Do not let this happen. Do it right the first time. OK, let’s get some other pre-date issues out of the way, the ones involving your body and how you prepare it. It might go without saying, but you need to start the date off on the best possible note. Maybe it was dark when you made your approach, maybe it was loud, and maybe you, the woman, or both of you had something to drink of the alcoholic variety. All of these things mean that, to some extent, the meet-up is a brand new chance to make a first impression —or worse, a chance to screw up the positive first impression you've already made. Wear clean clothes. Take a shower immediately before the meeting. Brush your teeth. Brush them twice. I'd recommend against using mouthwash in the moments before a meet-up, because it usually stinks of alcohol and may send a strange message. Use breath mints or gum instead, but discard these before the meeting. Use a deodorant that works. Ask a female friend if you’re not sure—she’s probably been trying to figure out how to tell you for months if yours doesn’t work. Use cologne, if you have quality stuff, and use it sparingly on your chest before you put on your shirt. It's best done 30 minutes to an hour

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ahead of time, so it has time to blend with your natural scent. If you don't know how to dress in a way that's attractive, this would be a good time to start finding out. Use my Fashion and Style Manual to get a huge head start (available summer 2007). Lastly, and maybe most importantly, is your mental preparation. Your positive outlook will make the date succeed more than any strategy I can teach. There are millions of resources out there about positive visualization, meditation, etc. Do whatever it takes for you to be in the best possible mindset before the meet-up. If that's singing at the top of your lungs in the shower, fine. If it's taking a few hours of quiet time for yourself, make the time available to yourself.

REVIEW THE CONCEPTS -Gather all logistical information before planning your meet-up. -Always move in the direction of your end destination. -Look and smell your best when you show up.

NEXT UP: I'm going to give you the exact formulas I use on dates. These have been tested extensively by me and my students, and they give you the best chance for success.

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Chapter 6 – Dating Formulas How many different dating styles are out there? Probably almost as many as the different kinds of women to take on them. That’s why I’m not worried about teaching you all the styles of dating. What I am going to show you is a handful of date strategies that complement and reinforce your new role, that of the Seducer. You’re going to want to read about every type of date, but don’t stop there. I challenge you to attempt every type of date I describe. These are the exact formulas I use and the dates almost always end with her coming back to my place. My students have had a great deal of success with these formulas also. Ultimately, the best dating style for you is going to be the one where you feel the most confident AND the one where you find yourself having the most fun. So take a few minutes right now and think of some of your favorite dates in the past. Write them down if that helps you organize your thoughts. Consider what you did and what time of the week/year/day it was when you did them. If you haven't done a lot of dating, think about things you've done with friends, coworkers, or family that you really enjoyed, or that you feel especially good at. You’ll want to bring those strengths into the strategies I’m about to map out for you. In the beginning, it’s OK, even advisable, to follow the plans I teach you pretty closely. It will give you time to get familiar with how women react to the different methods. Remember, most of these strategies are unlike anything you’ve done on dates before, so they are going to seem strange at first. Many ideas are going to seem like the exact opposite of what you’ve been told all your life to do on a date. You might feel awkward, bossy, or tense playing the role of leader and acting the Seducer for hours at a time, or you might worry that planning so many aspects of your meet-up in advance will make the night feel rehearsed or stiff to the women you meet. At first, all of that might be true, but trust me, if you start to plan your meet-ups the way I show you, and you learn to follow your

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plan with total confidence and charm, the rewards are endless. Once you get used to taking the lead, you'll find that it brings out a natural masculinity in you and it feels great. The Try-Out Date This first strategy is an excellent way to start learning the right way to date. Even once you’ve mastered all the other strategies, you’ll find yourself coming back to this method again and again, especially with a woman you’ve just approached. So often, men ruin the vibe of a date completely by asking a woman early on:

"So, how am I doing?"

"How do you like me so far?"

Watch any television dating show, and I guarantee you that at least half the men will make this mistake. Not only does that put the woman in charge of evaluating you, it sends a strong signal of desperation. Asking this is INSTANT DEATH on a date. I cringe every time I see it on TV. Don't do it!

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Instead, set a tone that subtly says "I'm the one evaluating YOU." You’ll want to do this in a light, joking way—the kind where she's not sure whether you're really serious or not. Tell her, "You're such a lucky girl because, today, I'm going to let you have your own private try-out. Don't be nervous! Auditions can be really fun." Humor tip: This is funny because it's partially true. There's a little bit of truth in anything that's funny. Always use humor to advance your agenda without risking sounding offensive or boring. This "evaluation frame" for example, would never work without humor. You couldn't say to a girl, "We're going to go out to see if you're good enough to hang out with me." in a 100% serious manner. It would be offensive. However, when you mix that statement with cryptic humor, it becomes fascinating. Most girls will respond by immediately going on the offensive, "Well how do I know you're good enough to go out with?" Don't let her steal your idea, just respond with something like, "Aww, that's so cute, you're trying to steal my idea and use it to win me over. Wow, you must be really into me." She might battle you on this, but never let her win. This kind of a battle creates sexual tension and attraction. It's great to engage in playful verbal sparring with your date; women love it, and they find any man who can maintain the tension without giving up or becoming mean incredibly hot. When inviting a woman out for the first time, try asking her to meet you for a quick cup of coffee, an ice cream cone, something small that takes a limited amount of time to do together. Let her know, "We'll hang out for a little bit, and maybe if it’s good, we'll do

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something else after that. We'll just see how it goes." See how subtle that is? It communicates that she still has to win you over. It also shows that there's no pressure on anyone and removes the threat of a long boring evening that can't be escaped. What do I mean? One of the things women fear most about dating is being stuck in a highpressure situation. The women in our culture are discouraged from aggressively ending any situation they don’t like or feel uncomfortable in. No matter how bad a date is, a woman will never jump up from the table and shout, “You are such a loser. You just wasted my whole night. I am outta here!” Instead of putting a stop to situations they find boring or difficult, most women rely on lengthy, lame excuses to cut their dates short, or they resort to things like having a friend call their cell phone and invent some emergency. More often still, a woman will just go along on the date for the entire night, but meanwhile in her head they are painting a bigger and bigger picture of how much they despise you, so they can call their friends later and complain. When you set up a "Try-Out" date, she'll instantly become more relaxed knowing that there's no pressure to commit an entire day or evening. Believe it or not, she'll also be excited about having to win over a guy who's hard to get. She’s never going to come out and say that. In fact, she might not even realize why she’s excited, but I assure you that women love a challenge. They just need you to express the slightest bit of interest, so that they feel confident trying to win you over. It’s like this: women need to know two things before they will really go after you. First, they need to know they are attracted to you. And second, they need to know they have a chance of you being attracted to them. When they are sure of both of those things, they will fight like tigers to gain more and more of your attention. Now, when you’re setting up the idea of a “Try-out” meeting, never say anything like, "If we don't like each other," or "If you're not having fun." Saying those things just plants a seed in the girl's head that she might not enjoy herself. It's negative thinking, and it could ruin your entire meeting.

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In this situation you're looking to find a balance between showing her she has a chance with you and setting an evaluation frame. Showing too much arrogance will be over the top. Instead you should act positive that she will like you, that she will enjoy herself when she is out with you, and that everything will go smoothly. You'd be surprised how much that kind of attitude can affect the woman’s mood. The truth is, women spend a great deal of time worrying that the man they have agreed to meet will not do his part to make the meet-up fun and exciting, because then they will be on this awkward date having to smile and pretend they're not unhappy or disappointed. As I said before, even if a woman is having a miserable time on a date, she often feels powerless to put a stop to it. You acting confidently will put her at ease, so she can stop watching for signs that you are not comfortable or experienced at meeting women, and she can start enjoying herself. What's more, if a woman thinks you're not having fun, she won't have fun. Women have been socially trained to try to please the people around them. You might be upset because the movie you wanted to take her to isn't playing, and I guarantee you that the woman will be thinking she's not dressed the way you hoped, she isn't pretty enough, or that she must have eaten too much ice cream and now you think she's a pig. When women are unsure of how a situation is going, they tend to take the blame on themselves. You might think a woman who is feeling badly about herself makes an easier target for seduction, but that's not how it works and real seducers don't think that way. More often it just makes a woman close up physically and retreat. Even if she agreed to go back to your place, it won't be one-tenth as good as it would be with a happy, excited, confident woman. So, OK, you've met for coffee, you're filled with confidence. She's laughing and smiling, and she seems to like listening to what you have to say. Twenty minutes have passed by very quickly. This makes a perfect time to transition directly into an adventure-style date.

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Adventure dates Adventures dates unfold like adventure movies. They have lots of action, less talking, and frequent changes of scenery. On this kind of meet-up, you become the woman's leader, and the two of you together become a team. The mood is exciting and experimental, and the woman will find herself trying things she wouldn't normally. If, on the approach, you tried some of my role-playing games, and she loved it, this is a perfect opportunity to continue that kind of fun. I know what some of you are thinking. Where I live, nothing is ever going on. Nothing we have is new or different. Everything to do is miles apart. I'm going to be left with nothing to do but stare at cornfields and talk to this woman who is getting more and more bored with me by the second. It's possible that you're right--maybe this style of date isn't the most effective for where you live. But it's also possible that you just need to expand your definition of fun, because the secret to making this style of meet-up work is knowing how to make any ordinary thing seem exciting. There are tons of opportunities all around you to have adventure, anytime, anywhere. When you were a kid, you knew how to do it. In the supermarket, you jumped from white tile to white tile trying not to fall into the "lava" colored tiles. Maybe you had to sit still in church every week, and you spent the time trying to imagine what kind of underwear everyone in the choir was wearing. You've probably spent huge chunks of time in your life finding something to keep you busy in a boring situation. All you need to do now is share those things out loud. For example, sometimes when I'm out in public with a woman and things are getting boring, I'll pretend that everyone around us is part of my extended family, and we're at some kind of a reunion. Then I'll start telling the woman gossipy, juicy stories about the people surrounding us. Sounds weird I know, but it spices things up, so stay with me here. I'll point out an older man on the subway and whisper:

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"See him? That's my Uncle Frank. He just got out of rehab. He was addicted to ecstasy and a bunch of party drugs. He's sorta like the black sheep of the family. He's over 50 years old, and he still goes to raves.....oh and look over there, that's my Aunt Yolanda. Stay away from her for now. Last year she had a fistfight with Uncle Frank over the last piece of pumpkin pie. She's been in anger management ever since. Oh, there's my Uncle Bill. He used to be a bodyguard for Alice Cooper. Weird huh? He's bad ass." The whole tone of the conversation is secretive and gossipy. You can do this at the park, at a bar, on the subway, at a coffee shop, a toy store, a concert, anywhere at all. So, the basic idea of adventure dating is to go to several different venues very quickly and have fun at every one of them. The progression from one place to the next should seem unplanned and spontaneous. Why is this better than a dinner date? Single women often go on multiple dates a week. Most of the time, the guy is viewing the date as a business transaction. The whole evening is stiff. She's uncomfortable, just waiting for the date to end. See, women view dating as a necessary evil. They love the possibility of romance and sexual attraction, but they know a huge percentage of the time the date will go badly. They will be waiting for the moment they have to begin avoiding sloppy sexual advances from someone they don't even find themselves attracted to. In contrast, an adventure date returns her immediately to a time in her life when things were simpler, when having fun was the most important goal in life. She stops worrying about whether you are going to try to kiss her. She quits thinking she should be home doing laundry. She gets into the moment with you, and she starts to follow your lead. The more fun you show her, the most she trusts you and looks to you to provide fun for her. Ideas for adventure dates? Take her into a toy store and play with the toys. Take her into a place that's unfamiliar to you both...a church, office building, fitness center...and see how

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many rooms you can get inside before you get kicked out. Ride the subway or bus to a place you've never been. Stop at a playground. Go on the swings. Find good places to people watch. Talking about what you see will bond you more closely together. Supermarkets, in general, are perfect. Tell her you want to find the most expensive thing you can buy at a supermarket. Pretend to be a married couple having a fight in the aisle. Ask other people for the best recipe to prepare random items of food. The key to making this style work is being open, bold, and keeping the pace very quick. Don't ever give her time to worry that she looks stupid, or that she’s wasting her day. As soon as the fun starts to wear off in one situation, make an immediate venue change. It doesn't matter if you get in the car or on the subway, or if you just move to the next store down--just keep things moving. You should both be laughing a lot. You should never sit down for more than a minute to catch your breath. Even the transportation should be part of the adventure. The format is simple. Plan 3-5 different destinations. Don't tell her what they are in advance. Then take her from one place to the next without her ever knowing where she's going next. Even in a rural area, I bet you can come up with 3 fun things to do. After each one, tell her "OK, get back in the car. We have to get to the next spot soon."

Here's a 2 EXACT formulas I have used successfully: Coffee at a diner---> to the riverside for romantic walk---> walk to nearby port area to watch drunk people getting off the party boat---> to a dessert place 4 blocks from my house----> my house. Meet on street corner in Greenwich Village---> Go to candy store---> go see the Opera House---> try to sneak into the opera (get caught) ---> look at churches---> dessert place near my house----> my house

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Be sure each of these destinations leads back in the general destination of your end goal: your place or hers. This is VERY important on any date. My World Date The name says it all. In this style, you're basically going to bring a woman into your world. Think of a place or a neighborhood you know incredibly well and that she is likely to be unfamiliar with. Maybe it's your favorite jazz club, or some funky neighborhood downtown, or a large park or farmer's market. Maybe your job comes with special privileges: a press pass or some other behind-the-scenes access. This should be a place where many people know you by name, where you get special privileges and attention. It's a place you don't need to do a lot of planning to visit, because you know exactly what might or will happen. You get to be free of all doubt and insecurity when you’re there. You may be comfortable in this situation, but since it's completely new to her she will depend on your expertise. You will be taking the lead and helping her out along the way. It's very natural for men to lead and women to follow. That's what begins attraction for most women. It makes a woman feel like a woman. I'm not saying you should ignore all of a woman's suggestions, but if you put the bulk of the planning and responsibility for having a good time on the woman, it will create a lot of anxiety and fear in her mind. She will constantly be worrying that she may have made the wrong choice. Lead, as much as possible. When in doubt, lead. By default, lead. In the "My World" date, you will be source of all decisions and all fun and good feeling will come from your decisions. I like to think of it as the woman "riding my fun train." When you're first getting to know woman, it's a good idea for her to ride your fun train, not the other way around. Women reserve a special kind of contempt for men they consider socially needy. In a "My World" style date, you get to show her that you are a socially competent man who is not going to start leeching on to her social resources. Show her that you're not dependent on her for fun by setting up a situation where she is dependent on you for fun. You might be surprised how many men are socially needy. I'd say it's the

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majority. So, if you can show a woman that you are socially competent, you become a rare prize. The most important aspect of this kind of meet-up is you need to make sure the woman feels welcomed into your world. You are not trying to alienate her. Don't spend more time talking to your old friends than making her feel at home. Don't leave her alone, or turn your back on her for more than a few minutes. You have to maintain a balance between letting her see you do your thing and directly engaging her, creating more and more attraction. Here's a few examples from my own dating life.

Party at my friend's house---> Go to a bar I've been to but she hasn't----> Late night McDonald's for milkshakes right by her place--> Her place. Music venue where I know the band and the door guy---> Small jazz club she's never heard of but I go to all the time---> Deli near my house for sandwiches (to go)---> Bring the sandwiches to my place.

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"Coolest Couple" Date More on the socially needy thing—women spend a lot of time gaining their social prestige and then holding on to it. They do not want men who are a social burden or inconvenience. They need to know you have your own friends and activities that you are actively involved in, and they hope that those friends and activities in turn will raise their own social value. Furthermore, women love to be the center of attention. Positive attention is the most addictive substance imaginable for a woman, and the very best, purest form of this drug is when that woman feels like she is the coolest, hottest woman in the room. For women with a lot of social obligations and high social value, women who get invited to so many parties it's impossible to attend every one, you need to show them you share the same problems. Let’s say you're the kind of person that, by the time weekend rolls around, you’ve agreed to attend, or at least have been invited to attend 5 or 6 different events. Again, let's say that the woman you want to meet up with occupies the same kind of whirlwind social circle. Once you have her on the phone, you notice she sounds a bit stressed by all the things she's promised to do. Try suggesting this:

"OK. Here's what we're gonna do. We'll go hang out with your friends, we'll go hang out with my friends, but everywhere we go we'll be the coolest people in the room. You know the type. We'll show up late. We won't stay long. We won't be boring. We just show up, look beautiful, and then leave all those people for the next hot party on the list." Make sure not to separate from her when you get to the parties. You want to stay no longer than a half hour at each party. Be certain to remind your date that you've both got places to go, things to do.

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Hit 4 or more different parties and, again, be sure to move in the direction of the final destination. Make your final stop VERY close to your place, as you will both be tired from displaying all that coolness. Maybe suggest some late night breakfast at a diner 2 blocks from your house. Better yet, suggest having a late night breakfast AT your house. Here's an example to give you a better idea.

Saturday night rolls around. We're both swamped with invites (you only need 2 invites to appear swamped). So we: Go out to dinner for her friend's birthday party---> Head to a club where my friend is DJing---> Meet her friends from work at a different club---> Leave for my friend's apartment to meet his new girlfriend--> Get coffee 3 blocks from her house---> Buy ice cream at the closest deli and take it to her house.

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Errands Now for a completely different concept. I’m taking you from the most sophisticated dating style to the least: running errands. Everyone's got them, and we all share a sympathetic hatred for having to do them on our time off from work. So why not invite a women to do a series of everyday things with you? She probably has some tasks she can accomplish at the same time, in the same places as you. Women LOVE to save time by multi-tasking. In this style, you've still got a plan, but it involves one or more normal environments that definitely won't intimidate the woman. This style is a cross between the “let's hang out” and “adventure style” meet-ups. You know what you are going to do together (even if she doesn’t), but you need to make these ordinary events fun. Supermarkets, department stores, any place that requires movement is perfect. College guys have it so easy. Why? They have the advantage of sharing a specific set of responsibilities with almost every woman they meet. It's totally easy to say, come over and study for that exam we have coming up, or, let's go down and do laundry, or, let’s hit the dining hall for a late night snack. In many of these situations, it’s perfectly normal to start with the woman at your place, or you at hers. Plus, because most college students have just one room that they live in, a woman being 'at your place' is the same as a woman being in your bedroom. It doesn’t get any easier than that. But you don't have to be a college kid to use this dating format. Anyone can use it, especially in an urban setting. If you are dating a college girl or a recent grad, this dating format will be especially familiar and comfortable for her.

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Movie Date We all know that the invitation, "Come over and watch a movie" is basic code for getting laid. Just to watch the movie you'll have to curl up on a couch or lay on a bed together. The crazy part is, if you ask a woman to come over and have sex, she is almost guaranteed to slam down the phone. Remember, that's because any woman who responds to this type of direct request is almost certainly going to be looked at as a slut. A woman planning to have sex is classic slut behavior; it’s right up there with a woman carrying condoms in her purse. Yet, if you ask a woman to come over and watch a movie, even if she knows this will lead to making out and possibly sex, she can always tell herself, her friends, whomever, that she didn't mean for it to go that way. She can say, it "just happened". That one phrase buys women a lot of leeway in their social world. Because women are considered the more passive gender in our society, they are rarely punished for demonstrating passive behavior. In contrast, they are often looked down upon by both men and other women for acting especially aggressive. That kind of behavior is either seen as “slutty” or “bitchy”, depending on how much skin is showing at the time. Invite yourself over. The moment she tells you she's just “hanging around” her house, or that she mentions doesn't have plans, say, "Great. I'm coming over with popcorn and a movie." Pay close attention to this next piece of advice. Gentlemen, whatever you do, do not ask the woman what movie she wants to see. You will get drawn into an hour-long conversation about your taste in movies, and you almost

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certainly will mention some trivial piece of information that causes the woman to decide that you are 100% not the right man for her. I mean it. Many men ruin a great beginning with a woman over a simple screw up like this. If she asks what movie, just say “You'll see.” This strategy works just as well on a rainy Saturday morning as it does a Thursday night. It doesn't need to be dark outside to watch a movie. When doesn’t this strategy work? When you do something moronic, like make plans to watch a movie many hours or days after the phone call. All that does is give a woman endless time to rethink the idea, time to make sure her roommate will be home in case she needs an excuse to send you home early, and time to obsess over what she will wear and how she will arrange her furniture until she’s so frustrated she doesn’t even want to open the door, much less get busy on her sofa. Giving a woman too much advance notice effectively dumps the planning of the date back in her lap. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t ask her to plan anything. When women aren’t certain you have everything under control, they feel the need to plan, “just in case”. That is what you want to avoid at all costs. It puts the woman in the wrong mood for seduction. Some final details. You must be casual when you suggest an activity like this. Make it seem like no big deal. You want to come off as the guy who spends a lot of time in women's apartments, which is why you didn't think twice about showing up at hers. If there's a couch or a bed where you'll both be watching from, be sure to sit or lay towards the middle. She will be forced to sit or lay near you no matter which direction she chooses to go. If she tries to pick another place to sit entirely, immediately tease her. "Ohhhh, are you all upset because I sat in your spot. I had this dog, Brewster, when I was six that acted the same way! You're not going to try and bite me if I don't move, are you?"

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Mysterious Date This is my favorite style of dating. When planning a mysterious date, I tell the woman to meet me at a specific location on such and such a date and time. I don't allow her to ask me any questions, but I go over the details of when and where we are meeting in painstaking detail, as if these things are critically important. Then I tell her to wear a specific kind of clothing:

"Hey that dress you had on when I met you? Yeah, that's perfect! I like that one. Make sure you wear it. Is it clean? Good." Be in control of the situation. Play the confusion game and use lots of redirection:

"So wear that dress, but make sure you also bring along some sneakers. Sneakers. Don't forget!" Then I give her a list of random items that she needs to bring:

"How about brillo pads? Do you keep those at your place? Yeah, we'll need one of those. Oh and nutmeg! I almost forgot the nutmeg. Please tell me you have some?" For a woman who is used to being invited to boring dinner dates—dinners she doesn't want to eat because she's worried what men will think about what she eats—this approach will take her totally by surprise. She doesn't know what to expect, so she can't be worrying about how to handle it days ahead of time. Instead, she'll focus on putting together what you asked, because women want to be prepared and they like to please the people they are attracted to. Now pay very close attention. I always tell the girl that she will need pants in addition to the dress I’ve told her to wear, and an extra shirt, "just in case". No matter what she

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asks, I don’t tell her what exactly what “just in case” means. I might hint that we might get dirty, but that's about it. Why the extra clothes? Because the number one reason a woman will tell you she can't stay over your place is, "I need to get ready for work in the morning." At that point, you will clue her in.

"That's why I had you bring the extra clothes." I know. You’re worried she'll be angry with you. Sounds too much like a player move. Let's take a moment to get something straight: women will always choose a player over a needy guy. Women like their problems being solved before they even realize they have them. They go through life trying to be prepared for anything. They lug around purses full of every imaginable thing to cover any situation they might find themselves in. The real problem is probably something different. Men have a tendency to be ashamed of the fact they enjoy women and sex. If you are ashamed of your natural desires, you will look as if you've been "caught redhanded" to all of the women around you. If you act as if dating around and having sex are normal to you, she will be much less likely to interrogate you or mistrust you. For more information about managing these feelings of shame and guilt, check out Seminars 4 and 6. Basically, the more comfortable you are with what you do, the less questions you will find fired at you by angry women. Logistical problems and social conditioning are the two biggest issues that prevent women from staying at your place. By having her bring the clothes, you've solved one of the big logistical problems. By creating a safe sexual space where she doesn't feel like a slut (and doesn't risk being seen as a slut by anyone else), you satisfy her social conditioning.

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Once you have her meeting you at the specified location at 19:00 hours, be sure not to tell her what the brillo and nutmeg was for, just start leading her to the first destination. Tell her "It's a surprise. You don't want to ruin the surprise, do you?" After you go to the first destination, move on to the second and third, always moving in the direction of your place or hers. By the time you get to your place or hers, she might ask why she's been carrying brillo around all night. At that point you can say, "Well, it was just to throw you off. I think it worked." Here's an example of a mystery style date I went on a few months ago: 1) Phone primer: "wear that skirt, but bring jeans and sneakers...do you have a spice rack?..." 2) Meet up at specified location. Refuse to give details, saying "It's a surprise." 3) Go to video arcade. 4) Go to a bar. 5) Go to desert place near my place. 6) Go to my place. 7) She stays over, wears jeans and sneakers to work the next day. The Recap: Always try to start the date near the place you want the date to end. It's natural to return to a familiar place, and it lessens the logistical concerns that will cause a woman last-minute regrets. Even better, have the woman originally meet you at your apartment. You don't even have to bring her all the way inside, although it's often a great idea to invite her inside your place for at least a minute or two (just long enough to grab your coat) to establish a sense of familiarity when you suggest returning there later. You need a pretense for isolation. Girls are afraid of displaying slutty behavior. “Let's go back to my place and fuck,” is a line that rarely works. (And on sober girls: never!) What do you do then? Use bait. At some point during the meet-up, you need to establish some idea that gives you both a reason to return to your apartment. Let’s say you're talking about movies:

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"What?! You haven't seen that movie? Oh man, you have to see it! I have a copy at my place, we can check it out later." Then immediately move on with the conversation. Don't dwell on the bait. Women are very subtle people. You don’t need to emphasize anything, and it will only spark their suspicions if you do. When it comes time to invite her back to your place, your suggestion will have continuity. It will bypass the woman's feeling of shame because it makes sense. Just make sure you know where your bait is going. Manage your logistics well in advance. It's totally OK to exaggerate the bait. Go ahead and tell her you have a saltwater aquarium and bring her back to your goldfish in a bowl. You can make it a joke. But you need to have something genuine to show her once you're there. Luring a girl to your apartment with nothing at all to show her is creepy. There are so many things you can use as bait: CDs, movies, a musical instrument. One thing I've been using lately is video games. I know it sounds dumb because women usually don't like video games, but hear me out here! I bought the home version of “Dance Dance Revolution.” That’s the one with the mat you dance on to follow moves on the screen. You can hook it up to your TV in minutes, no game console needed. I invite the woman to come with me to "this awesome dance place”. I say, “You know how to dance right?" When we arrive, the DDR setup is so ridiculous she just has to laugh. Then once she starts playing, she gets all heated up from the physical activity. So far, every woman who has set foot on my “DDR” has been in my bed naked within 60 minutes.

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Food is sometimes the best and simplest bait. Let's say your meet-up was over coffee or a snack and you still haven't had any dinner. Several hours have passed. I guarantee that one of you will be hungry. Say that you are, to avoid a situation where the woman feels ashamed for wanting to eat. Tell her you have some great food back at your house she needs to try. Or, tell her to take you back to her place and make you a sandwich. Tell her that you need to evaluate her sandwich-making abilities. Always have a reason for the venues you pick. For example, never say, "Let's meet at my place" without saying why. Give her a reason. "Because!" didn't work with your parents when you were a kid, and it's not going to satisfy any woman you date either. Instead, say, "We need to take the N-train to get to __________. I live right by the Ntrain. Let's meet at my place around 6 and we can walk to the subway station from there." Women like to hear things that make sense and are sensible. It makes them feel like you are smart, organized, and prepared to take care of the annoying details. That means they can relax and enjoy themselves. The more specific you get with your planning, the more comfortable she will feel, even if you eventually deviate from the plan. The more matter-of-fact you are when you express your plans, the less likely she is to refuse. Easy, relaxed conversation is the key to putting women in a frame of mind where they are ready and willing to following your lead. The next section of the book will show you how to build your conversation skills.

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REVIEW THE CONCEPTS -Use the date formulas from this book. There's no need to reinvent the wheel. -You can blend some of the formulas together. -Remember the 7 formulas: Try Out Date, Adventure Date, My World Date, Coolest Couple, Errands, Movie at Home, and Mysterious Date. -Always use good bait to get the woman to come over.

NEXT UP: Now that you have a great plan, you'll need great conversation. I'm going to give you some general strategies on conversation. I'll also give you some of the deadliest routines from my personal stash. These have been tested over and over by me and my students, and they have an incredible success rate.

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PART III: TALKING A GOOD GAME Chapter 8 – Conversation & Humor You set up the meeting. That afternoon you walk in the coffee shop, and she's already there waiting for you, wearing the clothes you told her to wear, a big smile on her face. For some of you, making easy conversation and keeping her entertained and laughing from this point on in your meet-ups comes naturally—maybe you grew up in a big family and needed to talk and joke a lot to get noticed, maybe your job involves sales or customer service, or maybe you were just born knowing. For the rest of you, this is the moment you've been dreading. It marks the beginning of the time that cannot be completely scripted and planned out ahead. This may be where feel you are most likely to freeze up and fail on your dates. Now, I’m not going to sugarcoat this. Conversation and humor are very important to women. There's no question about that. But what you need to realize is that the most important job you have is to keep things flowing from the first moment of your meet-up until the last. Not everything you say needs to be the most interesting or funny thing she's heard all week. As long as you can avoid major screw-ups, you only need to be on your best game 20-30% of the time. All interactions between people follow a certain rhythm. There are always highs, lows, and mediums. I can promise you, come the next morning, what she's really going to remember are the moments you had her hanging on your every word or laughing so hard she thought she might pee her pants. Creating these moments can make all sorts of small mistakes fade away, if (big IF) you managed to keep a solid rhythm going the whole way through. To help you do this, I’m going to give you my very best material. This is the stuff that keeps girls talking and laughing throughout all of my meet-ups. Some of it may seem familiar from my other seminars and books. That’s because the way you talk to women on meet-ups isn’t much different than how you made your approach. The basic principles are

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the same: grab her interest quickly, get her laughing, and always keep her confused and off balance. Here’s how to do it: Conversation Think of your conversations with women like keeping the ball in play. Once you drop the ball, it’s a hundred times harder to get the momentum and excitement going again. So don't do it! Shy or reserved girls, especially, become even shyer and quieter when things go silent. If a woman isn’t responding to what you're saying, ask yourself these questions: Does she look bored? Don't let it throw you off. She's probably just being shy. Many women are shy at first, so if your date isn’t talking much, don't take that as a sign that things aren't going well. With shy girls, if you just keep talking and talking, they will eventually loosen up. Some women are quieter than others. If you can talk for hours on end, even without getting much feedback from her, you actually have a great chance at succeeding on your date. Most guys can't do this, so her options are limited. Just talk her ear off, and you’re as good as gold. Does she look confused? Slow down. Redirect the conversation to something happening right in front of both of you, so that she can follow what you’re saying more easily. Point out something funny, bizarre, or interesting around you. With shy girls, it's best not to ask too many questions at once. Leave the occasional question hanging for a second, but move on right away if she doesn't begin to answer. Here's an example: You: I have the craziest family you've ever seen. Especially my brother. You have any brothers?

What a nut.

[pause for just a moment, and if her mouth doesn't open, just keep right on going…] You: My brother, he just bought a whole bunch of hand made hats from Pakistan and he's

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giving them to everyone as Christmas presents… If she does answer, keep quiet, listen, and go from there. Remember to stick with very specific questions in the beginning. Don't say, "Tell me about yourself" or "What was your childhood like?" Those questions are overwhelming for anyone that isn't completely comfortable talking about themselves. If you really get stuck, here are some routines or strategies that I have tested on lots of different types of women and gotten great results from almost all the time. Palm Reading Most women find mystical things like palm reading, astrology, and tarot cards absolutely fascinating. I don't know why they love it so much, but they do. If you have an interest in these things too, you should use these topics on your dates. Even if you think it's all nonsense, you should suspend your disbelief for now and have some fun with this subject matter. Here's the disclaimer. I know NOTHING about palm reading (palmistry, for you nerds out there), tarot cards, crystal balls, astrology, or any other fortune-telling method. Seriously, I don't even tune in to the weather channel ahead of time. The point of this exercise is not to actually guess a woman’s future, it's just to get a woman paying very close attention to everything you're saying. Plus, you get to touch her in a semi-intimate way. Everybody's favorite topic of conversation is themselves, so use that fact to your advantage and start performing a palm reading on your date during a lull in conversation, or at any point you want to make more physical contact. How do I do it? Two ways. One, there are certain female truisms--things that most every woman feels or has experienced in her life. And two, everyone likes to hear good news. A combination of statements from these two categories, delivered with a confident, slow, mystical tone, will get you pretty far with this routine.

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Using both of these concepts, I've constructed one single palm reading routine that seems to work on every woman. Yes, that's right, I use THE EXACT SAME PALM READING EVERY TIME, and it works like magic. Without further delay, here's my magic palm reading:

First point to the lines between her wrist and hand. "Here, see these lines? If you have one line here, it means you're a virgin. If you have 2 lines, it means you're a person with average sexual experience and sexual skill. If you have 3, it means you're a sex genius, sex expert, sex guru, sex ninja. You have ___ lines, very interesting." Variation: If you don't like the amount of lines, just bend her hand forward or back to make more lines appear. Now look at her entire hand. "If you have dark, deep lines on your hand, it means you're a very outspoken person. If you have light lines, it means you are the kind of person that hides your feelings." Reading: By now you should already know if she's outspoken or shy. Be sure to use that knowledge in the reading. Most people have never really bothered to figure out whether the lines on their hand are dark or light, so it doesn't matter what they look like. If she's shy, tell her the lines are light, and that means she hides her feelings. If she's outspoken, say that the lines are pretty dark. The truth is that every woman hides her feelings sometimes, so this will always seem like an accurate read. Also, most women can think of at least a page 77 of 102

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few times when they were very outspoken, so that will generally be considered an accurate read as well.

Then point out any line on her hand. "OK, this is your laugh line. I can tell by this that you have a very good sense of humor, and it’s also kind of an offbeat sense of humor. Oh and look, according to this line, you're one of those people who sometimes doesn't get the joke. Like do your friends ever call you a dumb blond?” (For brunettes, ”Do your friends ever say you have blond roots?") Next point to another line on her hand. "This is your love line. From what it says here, you are excellent in relationships. You make a great girlfriend. Hey, now this is weird, according to this, you meet a lot of guys, and you go on a lot of dates, but you have a really hard time finding someone you're totally interested in. Most of the time, even when a guy seems great on paper—like he's really hot or rich or whatever—you still lose interest in him after one or two dates, and you don't know why." Pick out one last line on her hand. "OK, see this? This is your life line. And this other one over here is a previous life. Do you believe in reincarnation? According to this, in a previous life, you were a ______ . (Choose animal that girls love like a cat, page 78 of 102

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horse, butterfly or ladybug). Alright, back to your lifeline. Says here you're going to have a long life. Oh and look at this, you're going to have a near death experience in your mid 60s. You're going to go into the tunnel, but then you come back out and live a long time after that. Oh wow, and look at this. Hold on....I'm getting a vision....OK I see it....in your mid-twenties (or estimate her current age), you're going to have a life-changing experience. I see it....you're going to meet a dark-skinned stranger in a white shirt (Describe yourself.), and it's going to change your whole life. I can't quite make out his face....I'm losing it....the vision is gone. But wow, are you going to have some life-changing experience." Finally, put your hand up against her hand. "Let's see how big your hand is..." This hand-to-hand contact is the culmination of the intimate touching that occurred during the palm reading. Do not forget to do this last step! The delivery on this reading can vary. I usually deliver it as if I'm 90% serious, but I leave that hint of doubt that let's the woman know this whole thing could just be a joke. Some girls have read books on palm reading and they'll try to get smart with you. They'll say "Hey that's not the laugh line, the laugh line is over here." Don't let that throw you. Just say "Hmmm, what style did you learn?.....oh really, hmmm I learned Romanian style, so that might be different." So that's my palm reading. Learn it. You'll be glad you did. Then put a few of your own touches into it. I swear to you, it works for me every time.

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A quick note on using routines- it's not necessary to use lots and lots of them. Just using a few in the right spots goes a long way. Remember, she's mostly going to focus on best moments of your time together (the top 10-20%) and any blatant fuck ups (like if you talk for 20 minutes about your colonoscopy). The routines can fill out that top 10-20%, and then all you have to do is have fun and be normal for the rest of the time. Testing Each Other The first meet-up is all about feeling each other out. You'll want to know a lot of things about the woman that can easily be explained, such as: • • •

Where is she from? What's her ethnic background? What does she do for fun?

Other things that men want to find out about women could be things that cannot be discovered through direct questions, such as: • • • • •

Does she have cool friends? Is she needy or a psycho? Is she high maintenance? Is she too slutty? Is she too frigid?

These are things that you cannot ask a woman directly. Instead you’ll need to watch for clues and put the pieces together. Think about it, if you said to a woman "Hey are you too slutty or too frigid?", how far do you think that would get you? It would either be considered in poor taste, or else the woman will simply lie and claim to be perfect. That's the way it always works. So, you need to uncover this information through indirect methods.

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The same holds true for women. There are things they want to know about you that cannot be discovered by just asking you a simple question. For example: • • • • •

Do you possess alpha male qualities such as leadership and courage? Are you scared of social situations? Do you have the potential to create embarrassing situations for her or her friends? Can you stay cool and calm if something bad happens? Are you the kind of guy she can walk all over?

Women will always test you to find out the answers to these questions. The "dance of dating," as I call it, is all about two people testing one another in clever ways, trying to figure out the answers to these important questions. The sad truth is that, most of the time, men on dates are so blinded by horniness and sexual desperation that they forget to do any testing on the woman they’re with. A man like this allows the woman to test him over and over, always trying to win her approval, but he never does any testing of his own. Women treat this as a telltale sign that the man is needy and desperate. Politely refraining from asking too many questions is never an attractive quality to women. Curiosity is attractive to women. The more you notice about a woman and the more you ask questions that pertain to those qualities, the more attracted to you they become. WHAT TO DO WHEN THE WOMAN IS TESTING YOU When a woman says or does anything weird or slightly hostile on a meet-up, it's probably because she's testing you. She knows the best way to see if you rattle easily is to try to rattle you herself. If she has no trouble confusing you, misbehaving around you, or disrespecting you in any way, then she knows for sure that you're a pussy. Almost all women will do a few subtle things to try to throw you off, and some disrespect you outright just to what they can get away with.

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Still not sure what I mean? Here's an example: I was teaching a longtime student at one of my recent workshops and he told me this story. He was out on a date with a younger woman, and they were walking to a bar. Along the way they passed a drugstore, and she said to him, "Hey, can we stop here really quick, I just have to pick something up." He agreed. She then proceeded to stand in the makeup section for 35 minutes trying on makeup, while he stood there bored out of his mind. Why would a woman do this? Everyone knows that kind of behavior is rude. The answer is, she was testing him to see if he would be her little bitch-boy. She knew she was being rude, but she was trying to see how much of a doormat he would be. I know it's tempting to be hateful and angry about women who test you, but you need to understand: women HAVE TO test you. It's the only way to find out if you know how to be a real man. She can't just say, "Hey, before we have sex, I need to ask you a question. Are you an alpha male?" That's not going to get her any meaningful information. She needs to see those qualities demonstrated in real life situations. The next time you are tested by a woman, you can respond in a few different ways. 1) For very small tests, such as weird comments or facial expressions, just ignore them and move on with whatever you were talking about. Example: Woman- "I don't like your shoes." Man- "Hey, I’m hungry. Let's go get a taco." 2) For larger tests, be commanding and tell her what to do.

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Example: Woman: (standing at makeup counter for 5 to 10 minutes) Man: "OK, we're done here. Let's go." 3) For more playful tests, just turn the joke back on her. Example: Woman: "Ooooh, look at mister tough guy in his muscle shirt." Man: (Mocking her tone with a high-pitched voice) "Ooooh, meh meh meh-meh meh shirt...."

Don’t Forget: You Should Be Testing Women It's essential to turn the tables and test women during your meet-up. This is something women rarely experience, and it makes things so much more interesting for them. Women are attracted to men who challenge them. Be that challenge. Give the woman an opportunity to prove herself. Make her work to win you over. Remember, people value the things they have to work for the most. No one values things that are easy to get. Testing can be a scary and anxious event for women, but when they feel they are passing a test, it makes them more confident and open around you. The trick is to keep a woman challenged, but neither completely succeeding nor completely failing the test. How to start: Tell the woman you only date smart girls/girls with great style/girls who can cook, etc. Choose a category of women that you are fairly comfortable asking questions about. If you don't know anything about wine, don't say you want a woman who knows her wines. If you flunked every test in social studies, don't say you want a woman who's up on current events. Also make sure you don't choose any category that's too obscure or specific for the woman to even attempt to answer, i.e. saltwater fishing, ice hockey, early Bruce Lee movies.

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Now ask her a very easy question in the category you've selected. When she gets it right, smile or nod, then tell her that's an easy question. Ask more questions, getting slightly more challenging with each question. Give grudging respect when she answers correctly and act shocked and disappointed when she gets them wrong. It’s good to maintain a kind of mock seriousness as you ask every question. Think of Alex Trebeck on “Jeopardy”. Keep in mind your attitude should be teasing, never downright disrespectful or condescending. You're not out to prove that you know more than she does. Duh, you’re picking questions that you already know the answers to. It's just a game. But remember, even in games and jokes, there is an element of serious reality. If she doesn't know the answers, change direction and egg her on to prove that she knows about something equally as important to you. Let’s say she doesn’t know a thing about cars. Ask her what she does know about, since she never bothered to learn about cars. Then ask her questions about that subject. Role-play This game works surprisingly well with many women, even some of the shyer ones. Basically, you start playing the role of someone she will definitely know. Do not make this difficult. It should not be a guessing game. Choose a famous Hollywood heartthrob (Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, Will Smith, Nick Lachey) who is involved with an equally famous woman. Or you can use one of his fictional movie characters. Start a conversation, speaking as the person you've chosen, and address your date as the real or fictional wife/girlfriend/lover of that man. If you know you're not good at improvising, stick with doing a scene from a movie whose

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lines you know by heart, and one that she is likely to know equally as well. Give her a couple chances to pick up on what you’re doing. This should not feel intimidating to the woman. It should be playful. Don’t allow yourself to become frustrated if she doesn’t know the scene as well as you do. Skip her lines entirely, or stage whisper them to her, as if you are prompting an actress during a theatrical performance. Some of the best role plays are the ones where you're a comedic character and she barely has to do much. Like Napoleon Dynamite (can you bring me my chapstick?) or Ron Burgandy (I'm.....kind of a big deal...") You don't have to choose a movie, you can use some kind of tabloid event that women know about, such as "Hey I think you're pretty cool and maybe you and I should adopt a child from Africa. What do you think?" (Madonna, Brangelina). Women will often act out emotions that they are afraid to display if they are playing a character that is known for that quality. So if you want your date to act more sexy, play Brad and make her Angelina Jolie. If you want to see her sweet and quirky, play Justin Timberlake to her Cameron Diaz. Wild and drunk? Make her Drew Barrymore. Refined and sophisticated? Sharon Stone. Dark and spooky? Christina Ricci. You get the point. If she seems reluctant, give it a second try before you move on to another strategy. Some girls are afraid to appear silly or strange and need more time before they will play along. With shyer girls, it’s best not to start this game in a very public space. Always make sure you go completely into your role first, so that you have risked embarrassment before her. Once she does engage with you, keep the act going as long as it's fun or funny to you both.

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Know when to quit—always on a high note: when she's laughing, when she starts to touch you in character, or once she becomes more animated and comfortable around you. Smart/Hot, Rich/Good in bed This is a great routine to try with an outgoing woman. Tell her you have two requirements for any woman you're seeing: that she be hot and rich. Since most women won't believe that they fall into both of these categories; she will be slightly annoyed by this statement at first. Perfect. Follow it up with the fact that you aren't rigidly bound by that rule; tell her you understand that not every woman can be hot and rich. Some are born poor. Some got hit in the face with a baseball bat in second grade. Tell her that you are willing to replace "hot" with "smart", or "rich" with "good in bed". Most women will want to assert that they are some combination of these four categories. Make them prove their value. Ask for references. Demonstrations. Go completely over the top on this one. Whatever you do, remain at least slightly unconvinced that she will live up to your standards. Some women really get a kick out of this routine, and I've taken it to the extreme at times. I made one girl get all of her friends to sign a petition saying that she's so smart, I should definitely date her. She actually came back with 10 signatures! For another girl, I grabbed her cell phone and immediately started calling random names and saying, "Hi there, this is Brad, I'm hanging out with your friend Tina, and I really need to know if you think she's smart." Be very careful with shy or low-confidence girls, who may only feel intimidated by this kind of high social value statement. If you think you can't say it without quickly reassuring her that she fulfills your requirements, do not use this strategy at all. It won’t gain you any ground if you have to reassure the woman. It will develop into the kind of courtship ritual that leads to more compliments and more chance of you going home alone.

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Humor You probably know by now whether other people consider you "funny" or not. Don't assume you’re funny just because your mother or favorite grandparent told you so. Do people introduce you at parties by saying, "This is my friend, Brad. He will crack your ass up"? Do you find it fairly easy to bring men and women to the point of snorting drinks out their nose? Even if you know you're funny, it's important to understand a little about what women consider funny, since it's very different from what men consider funny. Men have a linear sense of humor. Most women do not. This can best be explained by the fact that most men enjoy jokes that start out, "A guy walks into a bar…", whereas women usually lose interest somewhere in the middle of this type of longer jokes, and they are completely bored by the time you get around to the punch line. Women are experts at communicating on many levels at the same time. They say things out loud that they mean, and then they say things out loud that they definitely don’t mean. They hold their body in certain ways, touch in different ways, and move their faces into so many crazy expressions you have little hope of ever learning them all. Women enjoy subtle humor and humor that pertains to social situations and social hierarchies. Social hierarchies are everywhere, yet few men pay attention to them. A social hierarchy is a situation where there is a specific pecking order from the highest value person to the lowest. High school, EVERY high school, gives a clear example of how a social hierarchy works. Nerdy, low-social value. guys do not ask the hottest girl in school to the prom. If they did, you'd laugh, right? Humor is basically created in two ways: awkwardness and conflict. We are either laughing at something that makes us very uncomfortable, or we are laughing at the difference between what someone says and what that person actually means or does.

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If you think or know you're not funny, there's still hope. Some aspects of humor you can practice, and there are also some ways to make your non-funny personality entertaining in a way that still gets women laughing. I'm not a naturally funny person, but I've nurtured my sense of humor for a few years now, and I've gotten to the point where most people find me funny. Are you extremely serious all the time? Hundreds of comics have made a living out of playing the "straight man". This means you exaggerate your seriousness and never attempt to be silly or humorous back at anyone who is with you. Respond to any jokes she makes with confusion or an even more serious question. For example, your date says, "I laughed so hard I almost died." You respond, "Really? That's terrible. " Take everything she says to be serious and truthful. Women use lots of exaggerated descriptions and facial expressions, and that provides a million opportunities to play your seriousness up to a comic level. Maybe you're a little awkward at times? Anyone has seen Napoleon Dynamite or Rain Man knows that awkwardness can be really funny, too, IF it's taken to an extreme. Again, humor is best spaced out throughout your meeting. Don’t try to be funny nonstop from the first moment of the date to the last. Humor works best for establishing attraction and creating a relaxed atmosphere, but it’s not the quickest way to escalate physically. Like we talked about earlier, be sure to change up the mood of the meeting at least several times, just like you will be changing the venue. Go from funny to serious, or serious to smooth, whenever you sense her attention starting to wander.

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REVIEW THE CONCEPTS -Keep things moving. You don't have to be “on” 100% of the time. She's only gonna remember the best 20% of what you said and any blatent fuck ups. -If she's shy just keep talking and talking. Don't take silence as a sign of disinterest. -Test her by using indirect means to find out if she has the qualities you look for. -Expect that she will test you by misbehaving or trying to dominate you in some way. -Use well known characters or role playing if you're not naturally funny. Don't give up, humor can be developed. -Use the routines- palm reading, smart/hot/rich, etc.

NEXT UP: Things don't always go as planned. In the next chapter, we're going to talk about girls who don't show up, girls who suggest a group date, and “the last resort dinner date.”

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Chapter 9 – Special Situations Flaking-out A common question that comes up in my seminars, especially from guys just starting to use my methods, is: "How do I know if a girl is going to flake out on me and what should I do if she does?" The phrase "flaking out" implies that the woman stands you up because she is an unreliable or disorganized person. Being unreliable, however, is RARELY the reason why a woman will break plans or stand you up. The real reason is: she did not consider you a valuable person in her life. Even unreliable women will rarely stand up a person whom they consider valuable. Chances are you were a low priority to her. There can be many reasons for this: 1) She did not feel attracted to you. 2) She did not feel comfortable enough with you. 3) Her current circumstances dictated she needed to attend to more important matters or more valuable people. Maybe she got a better date. Maybe she has a boyfriend and didn't tell you. Most of the time, there's no way you'll ever know why she's flaking. How should you deal with it? First thing to remember is: Don't let it get you down. Having women flake once in a while is part of the dating game. Even the masters of dating and seduction run into it occasionally. When you date a lot of women, simple statistics can tell you that it's going to happen a fraction of the time.

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Why? It's just part of the character of the types of women we deal with. Young attractive women in our fast paced urbanized world consider this type of behavior to be acceptable. They don't intend to hurt your feelings, they are just too conflict-averse to explain why they don't want to hang out with you. Once in a while, they will lead you on, promise to meet you and then not show up. They develop these types of behaviors as a response to being constantly put on a pedestal by "nice guy" types. You'd probably be inconsiderate, too, if people were always trying anything and everything to get you into the sack. If you use my techniques you can minimize this behavior, but you can never eradicate it completely. Here are a few strategies I recommend to reduce flaking: 1. BE VALUABLE TO HER. Work on your life so you are an interesting person. Learn everything you can about making women feel attraction. Look your best. Be a fun guy. Don't be a needy loser. I know it sounds like a lot of work, but it's worth it. If you don't know how to accomplish this, you should check out my CD set and I will walk you though every aspect of it. 2. USE TECHNIQUES AND SALESMANSHIP WHEN YOU SEE WARNING SIGNS. What are the signs a woman might flake? Wavering about the time, place, or date is a huge signal. Any woman who pretends not to know her schedule for the coming weekend, or the next week, is probably lying. The busiest people, more than anyone else, know what they're doing every day at every time. It's the only way they can accomplish all the things they are committed to. •

•

If she says she needs to get back to you, don't let her. Pin her down. Tell her she can call you if she really needs to change your plans, but be sure to add that you're usually busy and can't do last-minute plans. Try a teasing approach. Don't let flaky behavior be a taboo subject. Say, "Oh man, you are SO one of those girls that flakes at the last minute. I'm not even going to leave my cell phone on. If you're not there within five minutes, I'm going out without

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you. You'll be missing out on the greatest opportunity of your life, ME, just because you're a flaky girl, hahaha! You'll never be able to live with yourself!" Once a girl has protested that she isn't a flake, she is much more likely to show up just to prove you wrong. •

Create increased importance using role playing. Here's a corporate role play I use sometimes:

•

•

•

Brad:

"OK perfect, I'm penciling you in."

Woman:

"Penciling me in?"

Brad:

"Well, I guess I can put you down in ink if you're 1000% sure you're going to be there and be on time. But if I put you down in ink and you screw up I'm going to get into a LOT of trouble with the central office. Are you for sure? Are you for real? I mean really, really real."

Be the squeaky wheel. Send her a text, an e-mail. Tell her something you "forgot" to tell her already about directions, or the time, or actually change the time by a few minutes. There is nothing wrong with calling to confirm either. The morning of your plans, or the night before, give her a casual call or e-mail saying, "Just checking to make sure we're still on for tomorrow/tonight/this weekend?" Don't let this be a weak point, where you suddenly confess how much you've been looking forward to seeing her, how much miss her, or how beautiful she looks. Do use it as a final chance before the meeting to raise her interest. Say something hysterical just happened to you at work, and you can't wait to tell her about it. Sometimes it's good to force the situation to come to a head. Listen to your instincts. If you're sensing that she might not show up, come right out and say it. Don't be a a baby about it or make a big deal, but do bring it up. If she REALLY doesn't want to

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meet up with you, you're better off finding out on the phone. You can save a lot of time and energy this way. Keep in mind that if you're going to use techniques and salesmanship, you must back this up with real value and a good time when she shows up. Techniques give you a chance to make a good impression. They don't make the impression for you. 3. BE PERSISTENT Most people believe that if a girl flakes on you once, you should never talk to her again. Sometimes it's better to stay persistent. Even if a girl stands you up once, if you still want her, there's no reason you shouldn't get her. 1) I've had a few girls stand me up, and by staying persistent I've been able to get those girls EVERY SINGLE TIME! I use a technique I call the “Double Flake Reversal.” Make sure you have a Plan B. Do you really want to spend your afternoon leaving whiny messages on some girl's voice mail? Hell no. If you got dressed up, go to a new bar and try some approaches. Call some other women whose numbers you've got, and see if any are free last-minute. Don't, under any circumstances, let those women know you've just been stood up. Say you found out you don't have to work at the last minute, or some time suddenly freed up. Make them believe they’ve just hit the jackpot because you're actually available on a weeknight/weekend/second Tuesday of the month! If all else fails, hit the gym, buy some new clothes, re-read this book or do something else to improve your skills with women. Not only will it prevent you from wasting your time, it will keep your confidence level high and your mind focused on your goals.

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Look at it this way: you may have lost an erratic woman, but you've gained a free night! Do not let this be a setback for you. It is a normal part of dating around. You can always reel that girl in again later. 2) A day or two later, call or email the flaky girl and tell her you're really sorry you didn't show up the other day and that something came up. Promise next time you'll make it up to her. You're going to imply that you actually flaked on her, and then quickly move on to a new topic. Don't dwell on it. Why does this work? The woman will be experiencing guilt because she didn't show up. She knows it was the wrong thing to do. The right thing to do would have been to call and cancel, but she is trained to be conflict-averse, so she flakes and then feels guilty about it. When you casually apologize about flaking on her it absolves her of this guilt. She's not mad because a small amount of flaky behavior is considered acceptable and normal. Now she's more interested in you BECAUSE you flaked on her. You're showing her you had more important things to do and you're not some needy loser who plans his whole day around some insignificant date. Very few men would ever miss a date with an attractive woman. Only high caliber guys would do that. By flaking on her, you put yourself in the “high caliber” category. I know this sounds pretty far out, but it's worked for me several times. 3. Set up a new time to hang out. Now that you've been through this mutual-flake situation, she may feel great. She might say “Hey it's OK, I didn't show up either.” Then you can chalk the whole thing up to a mix-up and start over. 4. This time play harder to get. Tell her you can't hang out this week, but you'll call her soon to make plans. Tell her you're SO SORRY you don't have time for her, and you REALLY WANT TO SEE HER. Lay it on thick, like this: “I am so sorry. I know I have to make some time to see you. I'm really swamped, but I promise we'll get together. I won't forget about you. Next week for sure....or wait, no, the week after. YES For sure! We'll hang out soon.”

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This is how someone in high demand talks. This is how the neglectful boyfriend talks. This is how your favorite uncle used to talk when you wanted to go to the movies every day. Women get obsessed over guys who are unavailable and hard-to-get. Now you've turned the tables and she is chasing you. Leave her wanting more and call her back a week later. Group Dates I’ll make this simple. Never agree to a group date. That goes twice for double dates. It doesn't matter if it's your friends or her friends; it's never a good idea. For those of you who love a good argument, read on. Remember all that talk about creating an "us" against "them" environment on your meetups? Chances are, that's not going to happen if you actually like the people you're hanging around. Making fun of your friends is only going to make you look like a jerk to your date and lose you a lot of friends. Making fun of her friends is social suicide. Warning: don’t make fun of her friends even (especially!) if she makes fun of them first. This is nothing but a trap. The last thing you want is to be dating a woman whose friends all hate you. Also, going out in a group doesn't give you the privacy you need to establish any intimacy. It will sabotage your focus and hers, and before you know it, you'll be saying goodnight at her door and getting that lame kiss on the cheek. Being part of a group makes her uncomfortably aware of what her friends are thinking about her, or what YOUR friends are thinking of her, if she’s flirting, kissing, or going back to your apartment. It gives her a million excuses not to follow your lead. She has to go with her roommate back on the subway. Her ride is leaving. Her sister is bored. I mean it. Just say “No” to group outings and group dates. If a woman suggests one, say you're busy and set another meeting when she'll be alone. Try a weekday night, if she seems like a very social girl who always has plans with friends over the weekends. Or try

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meeting up on a Saturday or Sunday morning when the rest of your friends will be sleeping in. Invite her to do something that doesn't lend itself to a group outing, like taking a free Salsa lesson, taking a long walk or hike in a park, or renting bikes. You might be thinking, how is a group date different than the whirlwind party date or the "My World" dates I discussed? The difference is in that both of those scenarios you arrive with the woman, and you leave with the woman. The two of you are isolated in your own world among other people one or both of you know. In fact, the whirlwind date only works if you keep that hectic pace and never stop long enough to really socialize. If she wants to stay and talk to her friends more than she wants to go somewhere else with you, you've lost her attention. The Last Resort Dinner Date I know, I know--I just told you a thousand times never to go on a dinner date. However, it's possible that you might find yourself in a position where it's unavoidable, and I want you to be prepared to make the most of this situation. I’ll keep this short, since it's a topic that's been discussed ad nauseum in other mainstream sources. On a dinner date, be sure that: 1. You choose where to go. Pick a place you are familiar with, and that she is not. This makes it a bit more of a "My World" scenario. Extra points if you already know the wait staff and the menu. 2. You are familiar with the venue, excited about it, and knowledgeable about the food. You should be enthusiastic about food in general. This shows the woman you are cultured and have discerning tastes. 3. You open the door for her, pull out her chair, ask her what she wants before the waiter/waitress arrives, and then order what she tells you she wants. That kind of chivalrous stuff works great. It accentuates the masculine/feminine differences and

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takes her further out of her "every day" boring state of mind, and more into a hyperfeminine state of mind. It's a short jump from hyper-feminine to sexually submissive. Otherwise, all the same ground rules apply. Take the lead. Tease her lightly and have fun. Make sure no one is feeling pressured in any way. Choose the location of the restaurant carefully and, after dinner, remember to travel in the direction of your sex-venue of choice.

REVIEW THE CONCEPTS -Don't get angry about flaky women. When you get angry you hurt yourself more than anyone else. Do something productive and then use the “Double Flake Reversal” technique. -Never go on group dates. -If you find yourself on a dinner date, take the lead, be chivalrous, and use the strategies you would use otherwise. Have fun. Don't sit there lamenting the setting.

NEXT UP: The wrap up. I'm going to drum some of this stuff into your head one last time.

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PART IV: WRAP UP Chapter 10 - Final Points Hopefully, this book has given you what you will need most: confidence. As long as you keep a few guiding principles in mind, it's not hard to set up a successful meet-up with any woman. Take the lead. Over and over, I’ve explained why being in control of the meet-up is the surest route to success. It allows women to relax. It builds a sense of trust, and it has the added bonus of keeping a woman slightly off-balance—all of this makes for a speedy path to attraction. It also ensures that the woman will not feel slutty for suggesting an activity that might lead to physical escalation. She’ll just be going along with your plan, “innocently unaware” (yeah, right!) of what might happen next. Always have a plan. Don’t be fooled by T.V. and movies. Showing up to meet a woman with no advance planning doesn’t make you look carefree and sexy. It makes you look incapable and lazy. For the many men who get slightly nervous when going out with a woman they’ve just met, this is total dating suicide. Take the time to get the answers to the questions I laid out in Chapter 6. Decide on the best place to end the meet-up (your places or hers?) Then, pick one of the strategies in Chapter 7 and follow it through. Come on, if you can order off a Chinese menu you can use my book to plan dates that score big time. Make smooth transitions back to you place. Whenever possible, start the date near where you plan for it to end. Knowing these strategies, you now have a huge advantage over any other men she might be going on dates with. Even if it takes you months or years to perfect these techniques, just making the attempt sets you apart from all those boring guys inviting her to dinners

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and movies she would enjoy being at way more with her friends or family than any strange guy. This book is not a guide to every aspect of meeting women, just how to set up dates. As you read through these chapters, you may have been unclear about references I made to topics such as how to approach women, fashion, or physical escalation. For more info on these topics, be sure to check out my other books and CDs.

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Chapter 11 - Where I Learned This Stuff Ten years ago, I was a total nerd who had no social skills and no ability to talk to women. After many years of hard work, I've gotten to the point where I'm so good at picking up women that I actually get paid to do it. What a transformation! I'd like to share the secret of my transformation with you. The secret of my success was modeling myself after successful people. I've chosen to emulate successful people from two of the most difficult and competitive fields in the world: athletics and entertainment. When I look back on my development, there are a few key people I've learned from, including:

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A basketball coach who went on to coach in the NBA.

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A guy who plays drums in a fetish-gothic rock band.

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A college professor who has been around the world meeting the greatest thinkers of our time.

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An actor who travels internationally picking up women everywhere he goes.

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A local musician who has had over 25 threesomes.

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A touring guitar player who can seduce women in under 10 minutes.

By spending time around these people and learning about how they think, how they process their successes and failures and how they adapt to the changing demands of being successful, I've learned lessons so deep that they are almost impossible to put into words. Emulating successful people is an important part of developing your identity. If you work as hard as I have and learn from the best, anything is possible!

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Frequently Asked Questions: Q: Do all women really respond poorly to dinner dates and use of the word "date?" What if I suggest hanging out and the girl says "Well only if it's a date" or "Can't we go on a date?" A: This is unusual. Most of the time if you set the "hanging out" frame, the woman just goes along with it. In the rare case where she's pushing the "date" idea, that's great news because it shows she's really interested in you. "Only if it's a date" plays right into your hands. You can easily respond with "Oh my god, you're actually asking ME out. Wow that's very forward. Well we can hang out, and if it goes well I'll let you take me on a date next time." Q: What's all this stuff about "confusion?” Why should I try to confuse a woman? Doesn't that make women uncomfortable? A: If used correctly and in the spirit of having a great time, it can lead to a great deal of attraction. It's hard to explain, so I'll give you a quick experiment to try. I call this technique obvious bullshit. Next time you're in a conversation with a female friend, make up some obviously false story and see if she believes it. When she realizes you were teasing her, she'll laugh that frustrated laugh and maybe even slap you on the arm. A slap on the arm is always a sure sign of sexual attraction. One example of obvious bullshit I often use is “Did you know that when you sleep your heart actually stops for 45 minutes, every night? Scary, huh. I was freaked out when I first heard that.” You'll see that women automatically know it's fun to tease each other. Q: Whoa, this is heading in the sexual direction pretty quickly. I don't want to sleep with every woman I meet on the first date. What should I do?

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A: OK, that's fine. There's nothing wrong with taking things a bit more slowly. Just follow the same formulas. Go ahead and bring the woman home, or go to her house, then hang out for a while but don't have sex.

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Planning the Perfect Date

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