MATILDA THE MUSICAL ACT 2
About 5 minutes before the end of intermission, the curtain rises to reveal a microphone in the middle of the stage. MR WORMWOOD walks over to it. e taps it and it screeches.
MR WORMWOOD Ladies and gentlemen! Hey. Before we, er, continue with proceedings, would lie to offer an apology for some of the things that ha"e #een going on here tonight. $hey are not nice things, and they are not right things. %nd would lie to state, guarantorically, that we would not lie any children who might #e here tonight watching this to go home and try these things out for themsel"es. am, of course, taling a#out reading #oos. &ow, it is not normal for ids to #eha"e in this fashion. t stunts the #rain, it wears out the eyes' it maes ids ugly, stiny, fatty, sweaty Betty, #oring, gaseous . . . and crucially, it gi"es them head lice of the soul. (nder no circumstances do we condone such acti"ities, and we do so utterly without reser"oirs. &ow, can )ust as, #y a way of a show of hands, how many grown*up people here has actually e"er read a #oo+ ome on, put em up. MR WORMWOOD elicits the name of someone from the audience.
MR WORMWOOD Don-t tae this the wrong way, #ut . . . Booworm! Booworm! Reading all the #oos lie a stiny little worm. ou read #oos, lie a worm. Worms read #oos. ou read #oos. Worms are stupid. ou-re a s/wurm. $here, now 0audience member!s name 1 will learn from that. t won-t stop 0him"her 1 reading, #ut . . . 0 he!ll"she!ll1 ne"er put 0his"her 1 hand up in a theatre again! Ladies and gentlemen! May present to you today the pinnacle of our achie"ements as a species. $he "ery reason that we #othered e"ol"ing out of unicorns in the first place. A television is brought out b# M$%A&', who has a ukulele strung around his back.
MR WORMWOOD Somewhere, on a show, I heard That a picture tells a thousand words. So, telly, if you bothered to take a look, Is the equivalent of, like . . . lots of books! &ver# time the word (tell#( is mentioned in the following verses, M$%A&' #ells the word along with his father.
MR WORMWOOD All I know, know, I learnt from telly. This big beautiful bo of facts. If you know a thing already, Ba#y, you can switch the channel o"er )ust lie that.
ndless "oy and endless laughter. #olks living happily ever after. All you need to make you wise s twenty*three minutes plus ad"ertisements. $hy would we waste our energy Turning the pages, one, two, three% $hen we can sit comfortably, &n our lovely bumferlies, Watching people singing, and taling, and doing stuff+ All I know, I learnt from telly. The bigger the telly, the smarter the man. ma n. 'ou can tell from my big telly (ust how clever of a fellow I am! $ae it away, son. M$%A&' steps forward, and after some consideration, plucks a note on his ukulele. After a pause, he looks down and plucks another doleful note.
MR WORMWOOD ou can-t learn that from a stupid #oo, 0 audience member!s name 1!
All I know, I learnt from telly. $hat to think and what to buy. I was pretty smart already, But now -m really, really smart, "ery "ery smart. ndless content, endless channels, ndless chat on endless panels. All you need to fill your muffin, $ithout having to really fink or nuffin. $hy would we waste our energy Trying to work out )ooh)*lysses% $hen we can sit happily on our lovely bapperlies Watching slightly famous people taling to really famous people+ All I know I learnt from telly. The bigger the telly, the smarter the man. ma n. 'ou can tell from my big telly (ust how clever of a fellow I am. M$%A&' runs out and grabs a giant trash can. MR WORMWOOD walks over to a small book cart and starts throwing books over his shoulder, and M$%A&' catches them in the trash can.
MR WORMWOOD Who the Dicens is harles Dicens+ Mary 2helley+ or, she sounds smelly. harlotte Bronte+ Do not want*y! 3ane %ustin+ n the compostin-. 3ames 3oyce+ He doesn-t sound noice. 4wen Mc4wan+ (gh, feel lie spewin-. William 2haespeare+ 2chwilliam 2chmaespeare. Mo#y Dic+ 0e titters. 1 4asy, grandma!
All together, now! All I know, I learnt from telly!
The bigger the telly, the smarter the man. ma n. 'ou can tell from my big telly $hat a very clever fellow I am. $han you "ery much. )ome of the %$'DR&* come on stage to take awa# the props. 'A+&*D&R walks up to the microphone as though to take it awa#, but after making sure no one is looking, she pulls it down to her level and starts speaking into it.
L%54&D4R Hello. -m La"ender, #y the way. Matilda-s #est friend! $here-s a #it coming up that-s all a#out / me! Well, not e6actly a#out me. But play a #ig part in it. But -m not going to say what happens, #ecause don-t want to spoil it for you. 0)he starts walking off the stage with the microphone, then stops. 1 %ll right. Loo. What do is "olunteer to gi"e the $runch#ull a )ug of water. %nd on the way #ac . . . &o! don-t want to tell you anymore #ecause don-t want to ruin it! 0)he walks off stage. After a moment, she runs back on. 1 Well . . . On the way #ac, find a newt. % newt is lie a really ugly li7ard that li"es in water. %nd so pic it up and . . . &o! -m not saying any more! 0)he raises her fists and growls, then huffs off. efore she can make it off stage, she turns around. 1 -m going to put the newt in the $runch#ull-s )ug! t-s going to #e #rilliant! 'A+&*D&R runs out and the stage darkens as the &ntr!acte pla#s. When lights go up again, there are four swings hanging from the rafters. R-%& and OMM/ sit on two of them. R-%& is wearin a sign that sa#s ($ have been to %O0&/.( As the following song progresses, various %$'DR&* and then $1 0$D) come down a slide at the back of the stage and take turns on the swings.
BR(4 $hen I grow up, I will be tall enough to reach the branches That I need to reach to climb The trees you get to climb $hen you+re grown up. BR(4 and $OMM And when I grow up, I will be smart enough to answer all The questions that you need to know The answers to efore you+re grown up. %M%&D% and 4R And when I grow up, I will eat sweets every day, &n the way to work, And I will go to bed late every night.
And I will wake up $hen the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square -
HLDR4& - And I won+t care +ause I+ll be all grown up. $hen I grow up . . .
$hen I grow up, /$hen I grow up, when I grow up0 I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you $hen you+re a grown up And when I grow up, /$hen I grow up, when I grow up0 I will be brave enough to fight the creatures That you have to fight eneath the bed each night To be a grown up. B8 9D2 And when I grow up, I will have treats every day, And I+ll play with things that mum pretends That mums don+t think are fun.
And I will wake up $hen the sun comes up, And I will spend all day "ust lying in the sun, And I won+t burn +ause I+ll be all grown up . . . $hen I grow up . . . he %$'DR&* and $1 0$D) recline in various parts of the stage. M$)) O*&/ comes up the stairs b# the side of the stage and sits down on a swing. MA$'DA enters shortl# after from the other side of the stage.
M22 HO&4 $hen I grow up, I will be brave enough to fight the creatures That you have to fight eneath the bed each night To be a grown up. $hen I grow up . . . he %$'DR&* and $1 0$D) start to dissipate.
M%$LD% (ust because you find that life+s not fair, it 1oesn+t mean that you "ust have to grin and bear it. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, 2othing will change. he swings rise into the air and the scene behind them slowl# changes to the librar#.
M22 HO&4 $hen I grow up . . . 0)he starts walking off stage. 1
M%$LD% (ust because I find myself in this story, It doesn+t mean that everything is written for me. If I think the ending is fied already, I might as well be saying I think that it+s okay, And that+s not right! MR2 :H4L:2 Matilda, how lo"ely to see you. %re you en)oying school+ M%$LD% Oh, yes. Bits of it, anyway. . . . Mrs :helps! Where-s the R454&84 section+ MR2 :H4L:2 What+! Well, we don-t ha"e a ;re"enge; section. Why+ s there a child at school who is #eha"ing lie a #ully+ M%$LD% Oh, no. &ot a child , e6actly. MR2 :H4L:2 Matilda, are you sure something / M%$LD% ou want to hear the ne6t part of my story+ MR2 :H4L:2 2tory+ Did you say ;story;+ Did you say . . . Matilda! What are we waiting for+ ehind MA$'DA and MR) 2&'2), the librar# stacks split apart. OMM/ and OR&*)$A lead the A%ROA and &)%A2O'O1$) onto the stage, carr#ing flames. he A%ROA!s hair has d#namite in it. As MA$'DA narrates, the &)%A2O'O1$) and A%ROA act out the scene.
M%$LD% 2lowly, "ery slowly, the %cro#at wrapped her shiny white scarf around her hus#and-s nec. M%$LD% %&D %ROB%$ ;
M%$LD% $he great escapologist had to escape from the cage, lean out, catch his wife with one hand, gra# a fire e6tinguisher with the other, and put out the flames on her specially*designed dress within twel"e seconds #efore they reached the dynamite and #lew his wife-s head off! MR) 2&'2) screams in terror. MA$'DA stares at her 3uestioningl#.
MR2 :H4L:2 2orry, go on. MA$'DA beckons MR) 2&'2) to sit on the floor with her. A white sheet covers the back of the stage and silhouettes act out MA$'DA!s stor# upon it.
M%$LD% $he tric started well. $he moment the specially*designed dress was set alight, the acro#at swung into the air. $he crowd held their #reath as she hurled o"er the shars and spiy o#)ects. One second. $wo seconds. $hey watched as the flames crept up the dress. $hree seconds.
M%$LD% 2he #roe e"ery #one in her #ody. 46cept for the ones at the ends of her little fingers. 2he did manage to li"e long enough to ha"e their
child, #ut the effort was too great. ;Lo"e our little girl,; she said. ;Lo"e our daughter with all your heart. 2he was all we e"er wanted.; he &)%A2O'O1$) carries the A%ROA off the front of the stage.
%ROB%$-2 5O4 Lo"e our girl with e"erything. 2he is e"erything. M%$LD% %nd then, she died. MR) 2&'2) walks over to a cart of books, blowing her nose into a handkerchief.
M%$LD% %nd then, things got worse. MR) 2&'2) collapses against the cart.
MR2 :H4L:2 What+ ;Worse;+ Oh, no, Matilda. &ot worse. $hey can-t get worse. M%$LD% -m afraid they did. Because the escapologist was so ind that he ne"er for one second #lamed the e"il sister for what happened. n fact, he ased her to mo"e in and help loo after his daughter. 2he was nothing #ut rude to the little girl, maing her wash, iron, coo, and clean, and #eating her if she did a thing wrong. But always in secret, so that the escapologist ne"er suspected a thing. %nd so the poor little girl grew up with the meanest, cruelest, horri#le*est aunt you can possi#le imagine! MR2 :H4L:2 Let-s call the police!! M%$LD% Mrs :helps! t-s . . . t-s )ust a story. MR2 :H4L:2 What+ Oh. Oh, yes. Of course. Matilda, you are so smart. our parents must thin they ha"e won the lottery ha"ing a child lie you. M%$LD% Oh, yeah. eah, they do. $hey-re always saying that, in fact. $hey say, ;Matilda, we-re so proud of you. ou-re lie winning the lottery.; . . . eah, -d #etter go. MR) 2&'2) e4its and the book shelves part. he scene changes to the Wormwood!s living room. MR WORMWOOD enters, dancing.
MR WORMWOOD 0to the tune of (ell#( 1 -m so cle"er, -m so cle"er. -m so "ery, "ery, "ery, "ery cle"er. -m so "ery, flaming cle"er. What a "ery cle"er fellow am! 0 to MR) WORMWOOD 1 ome, here you! 0 e dances with her, twirling her around. 1 MR2 WORMWOOD &o, stop, stop. $here-s only one man do that with!
MR WORMWOOD 4"eryone, gather around. want my family to share in my triumph. &ot you, #oy. M%$LD% -m a girl! MR WORMWOOD One hundred and fifty*fi"e old #angers on my hands. %ll polished up, #ut the mileage on the car telling the truth= that each one was nacered. How could possi#ly mae the mileage go #ac+ couldn-t "ery well dri"e each one #acwards, could + MH%4L Bacwards. MR WORMWOOD When suddenly, had the most genius idea in the world. run into the worshop. gra# a drill. %nd using my incredi#le mind, attach the drill to the speedometer of the first car. turned it on. whaced it into re"erse. MH%4L Bacwards! MR WORMWOOD gives M$%A&' a high five.
MR WORMWOOD es, #oy! Bacwards! Bacwards. 46actly. &ow, a drill-s motor= t rolls #acwards thousands of times a second. %nd within a few minutes, had reduced the mileage on that old rust*#ucet to practically nothing. did it to e"ery single car! MH%4L Bacwards! MR2 WORMWOOD 2top taling now, darling. $here-s a good #oy. MR WORMWOOD $en minutes later, the Russians show up. 8reat, #ig, nasty*faced apes. 46pensi"e suits, dar glasses' dunno who they thought they were. MR2 WORMWOOD Oh! Russians are nocturnal. saw it on a programme last night. M%$LD% $hat was #adgers. t was a programme a#out #adgers. MR2 WORMWOOD 2ame thing! . . . %nd did it wor+ MR WORMWOOD shows her a suitcase full of mone#. MR) WORMWOOD screams.
MR2 WORMWOOD
M%$LD% But you cheated them! $hat-s not fair at all. $hey-"e trusted you, and you-"e cheated them. MR2 WORMWOOD What is the matter with you+ What-"e we done to deser"e a child lie you+ MR WORMWOOD throws down the suitcase. ehind him, the scene changes to MA$'DA!s bedroom.
MR WORMWOOD ou now what -m going to do tomorrow+ -m going to go down to that li#rary and tell that old #ag that you-re ne"er to #e let in again. M%$LD% What+ &o! :lease don-t! MR WORMWOOD %nd if she does, will ha"e her fired! %nd you will ne"er read another stining #oo as long as you li"e. will put an end to your stories, young man. 0 e drags MA$'DA b# the wrist and throws her through the door to her room onto her bed. 1 &ow, get in there and stay in there, you nasty little creep! MR WORMWOOD slams the door and leaves. MA$'DA lies facedown on her bed. )he brings her fist down three times to great thundering sounds. )lowl#, she looks up.
M%$LD% %t night, the escapologist-s daughter cried herself to sleep, alone in her room. 2he ne"er said a single word a#out the e"il aunt-s #ullying, #ecause she didn-t want to cause a fuss, and so she suffered in silence. $his only encouraged the woman to greater cruelties, until one day, she e6ploded! M%$LD% and %ROB%$-2 22$4R 0 off stage 1 ;ou are a useless!
M%$LD% But that day, the escapologist happened to come home early. %nd when he heard the sound of his daughter-s tears / 0 )he knocks on the door three times. 1 / he smashed the door open! he &)%A2O'O1$), wearing the white scarf, smashes the door open to lightning and thunder, and takes MA$'DA into his arms.
42%:OLO82$ 1on+t cry. I am here, little girl. 3lease don+t cry.
1ry your eyes. $ipe away your tears, little girl. #orgive me. I didn+t mean to desert you. 1on+t cry, little girl. 2othing can hurt you. 'ou+ve nothing to fear. I+m here. M%$LD% and 42%:OLO82$ ;Ha"e #een so wrapped up in my grief for my wife that ha"e forgotten the one thing that matters to us most+ lo"e you so much, my daughter. shall spend the rest of my life maing it up to you.; he &)%A2O'O1$) wraps the scarf around MA$'DA!s shoulders.
M%$LD% and 42%:OLO82$ ;We shall #e together, fore"er.; M%$LD% 1on+t cry, daddy. I+m all right, daddy. 3lease don+t cry. 4ere, let me wipe away your tears. 42%:OLO82$ #orgive me. M%$LD% 1addy, forgive me. 42%:OLO82$ I didn+t mean to desert you. M%$LD% I didn+t want to upset you. 3lease, daddy, don+t cry. 42%:OLO82$ 1on+t cry, little girl. M%$LD% I+ll be all right. 42%:OLO82$ 2othing can hurt you. M%$LD% $ith you by my side, I have M%$LD% and 42%:OLO82$ - nothing to fear. M%$LD% 0simultaneousl# 1= 'ou+re here. 42%:OLO82$ 0simultaneousl# 1= I+m here.
he &)%A2O'O1$) carries MA$'DA to her bed and brings up the sheet. MA$'DA rolls out the other side of the bed as the shape of a little girl rises from beneath the covers.
M%$LD% But when the little girl fell asleep, the escapologist-s thoughts turned to the acro#at-s sister, and an almighty rage grew inside his great heart. M%$LD% and 42%:OLO82$ ;$his demon! $his "illain! $his monster! 2he has sullied the memory of my wife. 2he has #etrayed the trust of her own sister. 2he has shown cruelty to the most precious reality of my marriage. Bullying children is her game, is it+ Well, let us see what this creature thins she can do when the wrath of a grown man stands #efore her!; o thunder and lightning, the &)%A2O'O1$) runs to the bedroom door, which is retreating into the background.
M%$LD% But that was the last the little girl e"er saw of her father. Because he ne"er came home e"er again. M$)) O*&/ enters holding a stack of books tied together.
M22 HO&4 Matilda+ -"e got those #oos we spoe a#out, so you can )ust sit and read / M$)) R-*%-'' starts blowing her whistle from off stage, then runs toward M$)) O*&/ and MA$'DA. )he is wearing a short skirt and a 6umper. R-%& scurries behind her, carr#ing a chair and wearing his ($ have been to %O0&/( sign. M$)) R-*%-'' blows the whistle in M$)) O*&/!s face.
M22 $R(&HB(LL What are you doing with those #oos, woman+ M22 HO&4 0tearfull# 1 $hey-re . . . $hey-re for Matilda! M22 $R(&HB(LL &o, they are not. 0 )he grabs the books from M$)) O*&/!s hands. 1 &ot on my watch! 0 )he walks to stage left and shotputs the books into the wings, to the sound of breaking glass. 1 $here is an age for reading and an age for #eing a filthy little toad! $hese are toads. %ren-t you, Bogtrotter+ BR(4 es, Miss $runch#ull. M22 $R(&HB(LL es, Miss $runch#ull! 0 )he takes the chair from R-%& and brings it to the front corner of the stage. 1 Only, Bogtrotter, here, is now a good toad. 0)he slams the chair down. 1 2it! M$)) O*&/ sits in the chair. 7uietl#, MA$'DA approaches R-%& to see if he is all right.
M22 $R(&HB(LL t has #ecome clear to me, Miss Honey, that you ha"e no idea what you are doing. ou #elie"e in indness, and fluffiness, and #oos, and stories . . . $his is not teaching! $o teach the child, you must first #rea the child. 0 )he blows her whistle and the %$'DR&*, in g#m uniforms, trot onto the stage and form a line with their hands on their heads. 1 >uiet, you maggots!
M22 HO&4 &o one was speaing, Miss $runch#ull. M22 $R(&HB(LL Miss Honey, please understand that when say ;>uiet, you maggots,; you are entirely included in that statement. Where is my )ug of water+ 'A+&*D&R starts 6umping up and down.
L%54&D4R Ooh, ooh! Me, me, me, me, me! -ll get it, Miss $runch#ull! 0 )he runs to the front of the stage, gives two thumbs up to the entire theatre, then runs off. MA$'DA, in g#m uniform, 6oins the others in line. 1
M22 $R(&HB(LL 2tupid girl. %nd you. 0)he goes down the line of %$'DR&*. 1
M22 $R(&HB(LL This school, of late, has started reeking %M%&D% 03uietl# 1 4ric . . . M22 $R(&HB(LL 0to AMA*DA 1 >uiet, maggots, when -m speaing! &R$% throws himself flat on his mat.
M22 $R(&HB(LL - reeking, with a most disturbing scent. &nly the finest nostrils smell it, ut I know it oh*too*well. It is the odour of rebellion. It+s the bouquet of dissent!
And you may bet your britches this 4eadmistress #inds this foul odiferousness $holly olfactorally insulting. And so, to stop this stench+s spread, I find a session of phys*ed Sorts the merely )rank) from the )revoting). 0)he takes off her 6umper to reveal a top with the Ol#mpic logo embla8oned on it. )he starts e4ercising and the children follow suit. 1
The smell of rebellion comes out in the sweat, And phys*ed will get you sweating. And it won+t be long before I smell the pong &f aiding and abetting. A bit of phys*ed will tell us $ho has a head full of rebellious thoughts. 0)he stands on one leg and the children follow. 1 Hold, hold! Most of the children fall to the ground, but M$)) R-*%-'' sees that MA$'DA is still standing.
M22 $R(&HB(LL (ust like a rotten egg floats to the top &f a bucket of water. Realising what she has done, MA$'DA slowl# lowers herself onto her mat.
M22 $R(&HB(LL The smell of rebellion. The stench of revolt. HLDR4& &ne, two, three, four. M22 $R(&HB(LL The reek of insubordination. HLDR4& I can+t take it anymore. &ne, two, three, four. M22 $R(&HB(LL The whiff of resistance. The pong of dissent. The funk of mutiny in action. M%$LD% That+s not right. M22 $R(&HB(LL efore the weed becomes too big and greedy, 'ou really need to nip it in the bud. :osition two! 0)he takes an inhaler from OR&*)$A and throws it into the wings. 1 efore the worm starts to turn, 'ou must scrape off the dirt And rip it from the mud!
The whiff of insurgence. HLDR4& &ne, two three, four. M22 $R(&HB(LL The stench of intent.
HLDR4& &ne, two, three, four. M22 $R(&HB(LL The reek of pre*pubescent protest. The pong of defiance. HLDR4& &ne, two, three, four. M22 $R(&HB(LL The odour of coup. HLDR4& &ne, two, three, four. M22 $R(&HB(LL The waft of anarchy in progress. 4R :lease, miss, please! M22 $R(&HB(LL &nce we+ve )eercised) these demons, They shall be too pooped for scheming. M$)) R-*%-'' drags off a mat to which &R$% still clings. he O'D&R 0$D) bring in a tall ladder, a trampoline, a g#mnastic platform, and a mattress.
M22 $R(&HB(LL Some double*time discipline Should stop the rot from setting in! 0)he climbs onto the ladder. 1 %ll right, let-s step it up. Dou#le time. As M$)) R-*%-'' sings, each of the %$'DR&* 6ump onto the trampoline, land on the platform, and fall onto the mattress. )ome miss their landing. )ome are pushed, sometimes unintentionall#, b# their classmates.
M22 $R(&HB(LL One, two, three, four. 1iscipline. 1iscipline. #or children who aren+t listening5 #or midgets who are fidgeting &r whispering in history. Their chattering and chittering, Their nattering and twittering Is tempered with a smattering &f discipline.
$e must begin insisting &n rigidity, and discipline, 3ersistently resisting This anarchistic mischieving. These minutes you are frittering &n pandering and pitying
$hile little +uns like this6 They "ust want discipline. The simpering and whimpering, The dribbling and the spittling, The )miss, I need a tissue) It+s an issue we can fi. There is no mystery to mastering The art of classroom discipline. It+s discipline, discipline HLDR4& Discipline! M22 $R(&HB(LL The smell of rebellion, The stench of revolt, The reek of pre*pubescent plotting. The whiff of resistance, The pong of dissent, The funk of moral fibre rotting . . . M$)) R-*%-'' climbs down the ladder and into the wings with a flourish. )he runs headlong onto the stage, 6umps on the trampoline, and flies over the wooden platform onto the mattress, flipping head over heels. )he then takes up a position sitting on the mattress.
M22 $R(&HB(LL Imagine a world with no children. lose your eyes and "ust dream. Imagine - come on, try it The peace and the quiet. A burbling stream. 0)he stands and 6umps into a sitting position on the wooden platform. 1
2ow imagine a woods with a cottage, And inside that cottage we find A dwarf called 7eek, A carnival freak $ho can fold paper hats with his mind. And he says, )1on+t let them steal your horses. 2o! 1on+t let them throw them away. 2o, no, no! If you find your way through, They+ll be waiting for you, singing, ;&eigh! &eigh!; 0)he whickers like a horse. 1 4R 2he-s mad! M22 $R(&HB(LL %ha! %nd there, )ust lie said= $he stining maggot rears his head! ven the squitiest, pitiest mess an harbour seeds of stinkiness.
4ave you ever seen anything more repellent% 4ave you ever smelled anything worse than That smell of rebellion% M$)) R-*%-'' takes up a lounging position on the wooden platform. $t is slowl# pulled across the stage as she languorousl# brings her leg up and down. he %$'DR&* stand in front of it and make rowing motions with their arms as it makes its wa# across the stage. he ne4t two verses overlap.
0M22 $R(&HB(LL The stench of revolt. The reek of insubordination. The whiff of resistance. The pong of dissent. HLDR4&? 1iscipline. 1iscipline. 2o more whispering. hildren need discipline. ut out that whispering. If you+re mischiefing, She+ll sniff you out. $ithout a doubt, She+s a snout in a million. 1iscipline. 1iscipline. 2o more whispering. hildren need discipline. ut out that whispering 1 .
M22 $R(&HB(LL And I will not stop till you are squashed5 Till this rebellion is quashed5 Till glorious, sweaty discipline has washed This sickening stench - away! 0)he grabs the end of a net that is pulled back across the stage with the wooden block as she stands on top of it. -pon the net is the word (D$)%$2'$*&(.1 'A+&*D&R runs on the stage with a 6ug of water, a cup, and a wriggling newt.
L%54&D4R Loo! $he newt! an you see+ t-s the newt! -"e got the newt! -m going to / M22 $R(&HB(LL >uiet! 'A+&*D&R drops the newt into the water.
M22 HO&4 don-t thin this is ;teaching; at all. thin it-s )ust cruelty. M$)) R-*%-'' takes the 6ug and cup from 'A+&*D&R.
M22 $R(&HB(LL $hat is #ecause you, Miss Honey, are pathetic. 0 )he takes a drink of
water. 1 ou are wet. ou are wea. 0)he takes another drink. 1 ou are,
in fact, a sni"elling little / here is the sound of something dropping into her glass.
M22 $R(&HB(LL / newt. &ewt! M$)) R-*%-'' puts the cup and 6ug down on the platform and scurries awa# from it. he children, e4cept for &R$%, gather around, chatting e4citedl#.
M22 $R(&HB(LL &ewt! $here-s a newt inside my / M22 HO&4 >uiet, children, please! >uiet! M22 $R(&HB(LL 0to &R$% 1 ou! 4R &o, not me! What+ &o! didn-t! M22 $R(&HB(LL ou did this, you "ile, repulsi"e, malicious little sinner! 0 )he takes &R$% b# one ear and drags him to one side. 1 4R 2top! 2top! M22 $R(&HB(LL ;2top;+ ;2top;+ We were )ust getting started! M22 HO&4 &o, Miss $runch#ull, don-t, please. ou-ll pull his ear off! M22 $R(&HB(LL ha"e disco"ered, Miss Honey, through many years of e6perimentation, that the ears of small #oys do not come off. $hey stretch. n fact, thin can feel these ones stretching e"en now. M$)) R-*%-'' grabs both of &R$%!s ears and stretch them out several inches to the side.
4R Ow! Ow! M22 HO&4 &o, Miss $runch#ull, no! M%$LD% Lea"e him alone! ou #ig, fat, #ully! M22 $R(&HB(LL How dare you. ou are not fit to #e at this school. ou ought to #e in
prison! n the deepest, danest, darest prison! shall ha"e you wheeled out, strapped to a trolley with a mu77le o"er your mouth! M$)) R-*%-'' starts to rant and scream at the children, lumbering all over the stage. MA$'DA stands near the front of the stage, looking anguished.
M22 $R(&HB(LL shall crush you. shall pound you. shall dissect you, madam! shall strap you to a ta#le and perform e6periments on you! %ll of these disgusting little slugs shall suffer the most appalling indignities #ecause of you. es, you! shall feed you to the termites. %nd then shall smash the termites into tiny fragments . . . M$)) R-*%-''!s words fade into the background, though she continues to rail in silence at the %$'DR&* and M$)) O*&/, who cower at the back of the stage. MA$'DA stands on one block of the stage, which slowl# rises.
M%$LD% 4ave you ever wondered /well, I have0 About how when I say, say, )red) /for eample0 There+s no way of knowing If red means the same thing in your head As red means in my head $hen someone says )red).
And how, if we are travelling at Almost the speed of light, And we+re holding a light, That light would still travel away from us At the full speed of light. $hich seems right, In a way, ut I+m trying to say I+m not sure, ut I wonder if inside my head, I+m not "ust a bit different from Some of my friends. These answers that come into my mind, unbidden5 These stories delivered to me fully*written. And when everyone shouts /like they seem to like shouting0 The noise in my head is incredibly loud. And I "ust wish they+d stop, 8y dad and my mum, And the telly, And stories would stop for "ust once. And I+m sorry, ut I+m not quite eplaining it right. ut this noise becomes anger, And the anger is light. And this burning inside me would usually fade,
ut it isn+t today. And the heat and the shouting And my heart is pounding And my eyes are burning And suddenly, everything, everything is 9uiet. :ike silence, but not really silent. (ust that still sort of 9uiet. :ike the sound of a page being turned in a book. &r a pause in a walk in the woods. 9uiet. :ike silence, but not really silent. (ust that nice kind of 9uiet. :ike the sound when you lie upside*down in your bed. (ust the sound of your heart in your head. And though the people around me Their mouths are still moving The words they are forming annot reach me anymore. And it is quiet. And I am warm. :ike I+ve sailed Into the eye of the storm. 9rom across the stage, MA$'DA focuses her attention on the cup of water that M$)) R-*%-'' is standing near.
M%$LD% $ip! 8o on, tip! $ip o"er! $ip o"er! he cup tips over toward M$)) R-*%-''. As she turns around, #ou can see that there is a newt on the back of her leg.
M22 $R(&HB(LL / misera#le collection of e6cuses for children, and you, madam, standing there lie the s@uit of s@uits, are its #eating heart! But am a match for you. %nd tell you, there is nothing shall not do, no length to which shall not go, no punishment shall not inflict, no ear shall not . . . stretch . . . 0 )he trails off. 1 What is it+ What is it+ $here-s something on me. 8et it off me! 8et it off me! t-s heading north! 0)he pauses in horror. 1 -"e got a newt in my nicers! -"e got a newt in my nicers! 0 )he runs off stage. 1 here is a pause.
M22 HO&4 Well. $hat was interesting. thin we all #etter go home while we still can. he %$'DR&* cheer and run off.
M22 HO&4 Matilda+ M%$LD% Watch. M22 HO&4 Matilda, really thin it would #e wise / M%$LD% Watch. :lease. MA$'DA sets up the cup again and focuses her attention on it. $t swa#s from side to side and then tips over.
M%$LD% mo"ed it with my eyes. %m strange+ M22 HO&4 thin . . . thin . . . How do you fancy a nice cup of tea+ M$)) O*&/ puts MA$'DA!s school bla8er back on her and buttons it. +er# slowl#, the platform of M$)) O*&/!s house starts to roll in from the back of the stage.
M%$LD% What do you thin it is+ $his thing with my eyes. M22 HO&4 Well, -m not going to pretend now what it is, Matilda. But don-t #elie"e it-s something you should #e frightened of. thin it-s something to do with that incredi#le mind of yours. M%$LD% ou mean, there-s no room in my head for all of my #rains, so they ha"e to s@uish out through my eyes. M22 HO&4 Well, not e6actly, #ut, er . . . 2omething lie that. ou certainly are a special girl, Matilda. . . . met your mother. 2he-s . . . unusual. What a#out your father+ s he . . . s he proud to ha"e a daughter as cle"er as you+ M%$LD% Oh, yeah. He-s "ery proud. He-s "ery, "ery, "ery proud. He-s always saying, ;Matilda, -m so proud to ha"e a daughter as / ; 0)he pauses and looks at M$)) O*&/. 1 $hat-s not true, Miss Honey. $hat-s not what he says. He-s not proud at all. He calls me a liar, and a cheat, and a nasty little creep. M22 HO&4 see. 0)he leads MA$'DA up onto the platform of her house. 1 Here we are. Home sweet home. MA$'DA looks around.
M%$LD% %re you poor+
M22 HO&4 4r, yes. es, am. 5ery! M%$LD% Don-t they pay teachers "ery well+ M22 HO&4 &o, they don-t, actually, #ut, er, -m e"en poorer than most, #ecause of, er, other reasons. ou see, . . . used to li"e with my aunt. But one day was out waling, and . . . came across this old shed. fell completely in lo"e with it. ran to the farmer and #egged him to let me mo"e in. He thought was mad. But he agreed, and -"e li"ed here e"er since. M%$LD% But Miss Honey, you can-t li"e in a shed! M22 HO&4 -m not strong lie you, Matilda. ou see, my father died when was young. Magnus was his name. He was "ery ind. But, er, when he was gone, my aunt #ecame my legal guardian. 2he was mean and cruel and horri#le lie you can hardly imagine. %nd when got my )o# as a teacher, she suddenly presented me with a #ill for looing after me all those years. 2he had written e"erything down= 4"ery tea #ag, e"ery electricity #ill, e"ery tin of #eans. %nd she made me sign a contract to pay her #ac e"ery penny. 2he . . . 2he e"en produced a document to say that my father had gi"en her his entire house. M%$LD% Did he really do that+ Magnus. Did he really )ust gi"e her his house+ M22 HO&4 don-t now. But find it hard to #elie"e. 3ust lie cannot #elie"e that he would ha"e . . . that he would ha"e illed himself. Which is what she said happened. MA$'DA gasps.
M%$LD% ou thin . . . ou thin she did him in ! Don-t you, Miss Honey+ M22 HO&4 cannot say. %ll now is that years of #eing #ullied #y that woman made me . . . pathetic! was trapped. M%$LD% %nd that-s why you li"e here. M22 HO&4 This roof keeps me dry when the rain falls. This door helps to keep the cold at bay. &n this floor I can stand on my own two feet.
&n this chair I can write my lessons. &n this pillow I can dream my nights away. And this table, as you can see, $ell, it+s perfect for tea.
It isn+t much, but it is enough for me. It isn+t much, but it is enough M%$LD% But Miss Honey, she-s got your father-s house! 2he-s got e"erything that-s yours. 0)he moves to sit on the same stool as M$)) O*&/. 1 M22 HO&4 &n these walls, I hang wonderful pictures. Through this window, I can watch the seasons change. y this lamp, I can read! And I . . . I am set free. 9or the first time, MA$'DA gives a small smile.
M22 HO&4 And when it+s cold outside, I feel no fear. ven in the winter storms, I am warmed y a small but stubborn fire. And there is nowhere I would rather be.
It isn+t much, but it is enough for me. #or this is my house. This is my house. It isn+t much, but it is enough for me. M$)) O*&/ opens a drawer and takes out a shin#, white scarf. )lowl#, from the back of the stage, the &)%A2O'O1$) walks toward M$)) O*&/.
M22 HO&4 This is my house. This is my house. It isn+t much, but it is enough M$)) O*&/ wraps the scarf around MA$'DA!s shoulders.
42%:OLO82$ 1on+t cry M22 HO&4 And when it+s cold and bleak, I feel no fear. 42%:OLO82$ 3lease don+t cry. I+m here. M22 HO&4 ven in the fiercest storms, I am warmed 42%:OLO82$ 3lease don+t cry. M22 HO&4 y a small but stubborn fire.
42%:OLO82$ :et me wipe away your tears. #orgive me M22 HO&4 ven when outside, it+s free;ing 42%:OLO82$ I didn+t mean to desert you. M22 HO&4 I don+t pay much heed. 42%:OLO82$ I know that I hurt you. M22 HO&4 I know that everything I need Is in here. he &)%A2O'O1$) approaches M$)) O*&/ from behind and places a hand on her shoulder.
M22 HO&4 It isn+t much, but it is enough for me. It isn+t much, but it is enough for me. he &)%A2O'O1$) slowl# e4its the stage. MA$'DA looks down at the scarf she is wearing.
M%$LD% Miss Honey, is this your father-s scarf+ M22 HO&4 es. es, it is. My mother ga"e it to him #efore she died. ou see, she was / M%$LD% %n acro#at. M22 HO&4 es. es, she was. %nd my father was / M%$LD% %n escapologist. M22 HO&4 Matilda, how did you now that+ M%$LD% 2o . . . 2o they were your parents! M22 HO&4 What+ Who+ M%$LD% $he people in my story!
M22 HO&4 What story+ M%$LD% % story! -"e #een telling a story, and thought was maing it up, #ut it-s real! t-s your life! -"e seen your life. M22 HO&4 ou-"e seen my life+ M%$LD% 2he did him in! Let-s go to the police! 0 )he grabs M$)) O*&/!s hands and tries to drag her awa#. 1 M22 HO&4 &o! &o, we can-t! We-"e no e"idence! M%$LD% We can )ust tell them! $ell them she did it! M22 HO&4 t won-t wor, Matilda! t would me my word against hers! $hey-d ne"er #elie"e she was capa#le of murder! 0 )he wrenches her hands free from MA$'DA!s. 1 M%$LD% But wh# + 2he was so cruel to you! 2he #eat you! M$)) O*&/ covers her ears with her hands.
M%$LD% 2he shouted at you! 2he loced you up in tiny cup#oards and threw you into cellars! M22 HO&4 2top, Matilda. :lease. M%$LD% Miss Honey, your aunt-s a murderer. 2he illed Magnus. WHO 2 2H4+ M22 $R(&HB(LL-2 5O4 % contract is a contract is a contract! M%$LD% Miss . . . Miss $runch#ull. M$)) R-*%-'' walks heavil# onto the stage via the steps at the front. MA$'DA scurries off and M$)) O*&/ lies down on the floor of her house as it recedes to the back of the stage. M$)) R-*%-'' stands on a desk, which rises into the air. he commentator from her videos starts speaking, and M$)) R-*%-'' flails as though recreating one of her games. he %$'DR&* enter and stand b# the desks. M$)) R-*%-'' realises where she is and starts lecturing the %$'DR&*.
M22 $R(&HB(LL n this world, children, there are two types of human #eing. $he winners and the losers. am a winner. play #y the rules, and win.
f play #y the rules and . . . do not win, then something is wrong. 2omething is not woring. f something is wrong, you ha"e to put it right. 4"en if it screams. M$)) R-*%-'' walks over to the side of the stage and makes as though to pull at a big chain pull that has descended, then stops short and looks at M$)) O*&/.
M22 $R(&HB(LL What are you looing at+ M22 HO&4 0without fear 1 ou. M22 $R(&HB(LL $his class is going to ha"e a "ery special spelling test. %ny child who gets one single answer wrong shall go to hoey. 0 to &R$% 1 ou! 2pell . . . Oh, now, let me see. 2pell ;newt;. &R$% stands on his chair and turns around.
4R &ewt. & * 4 * W * $. &ewt. M22 $R(&HB(LL What+ 4R Miss Honey taught us. 2he-s "ery good at teaching. M22 $R(&HB(LL &onsense. Miss Honey is far too soft and peachy to #e good at anything. %ny moron can see that. 0 to OR&*)$A 1 ou, turn around, and spell the one thing that you all are. ;Re"olting.; OR&*)$A stands and turns toward the audience.
HOR$4&2% Re"olting. R * 4 * 5 * O * L * $ * * & * 8. Re"olting. M22 $R(&HB(LL ou-re cheating! M22 HO&4 Of course she-s not cheating! 2he-s simply spelling a word! M22 $R(&HB(LL $hese little specs of dust can-t #e this cle"er. $hey are worms! M22 HO&4 taught them! $hat-s all. With indness, and patience, and respect! M22 $R(&HB(LL How dare you #ring those words into my classroom, madam! ou now nothing of teaching, and shall pro"e it. 0 to 'A+&*D&R 1 ou, filth* #og, snot nose. 2pell . . . ;amchella*amaneal*septicanis*timosis;!
M22 HO&4 What+ $hat-s not a word! ou )ust made it up! M22 $R(&HB(LL 2pell or go to hoey! %nd should warn you= t has silent letters. L%54&D4R % . . . M . . . * H . . . 4 . . . L . . . L . . . % . . . 0 )he hesitantl# starts counting on her fingers. 1 M22 $R(&HB(LL Oh dear. Oh, dearie, dearie / L%54&D4R 9! M22 $R(&HB(LL &o, -m so sorry' it was a silent A! ou-re going to hoey! M$)) R-*%-'' takes 'A+&*D&R b# the wrist and drags her down the stairs off the stage. efore the# get too far, *$1&' stands up on his desk.
&84L at! * % *
4R Dog. D * * :. Dog. %nd me! AMA*DA stands on her desk.
%M%&D% $a#le. * % * B * L * . %nd me. M22 $R(&HB(LL What are you doing+ What-s going on+ 2top this. 2it down. OR&*)$A stands on her desk.
HOR$4&2% ou can-t put us all in the hoey! M22 $R(&HB(LL 2it down. 2it down! HOR$4&2% Bananas! B * * * 8 * % / All %$'DR&*, e4cept R-%&, stand on their desk and start shouting. M$)) R-*%-'' staggers over to the chain pull and pulls it. here is
a sound of a heav# door closing, and the gates of the school cast a shadow on the %$'DR&*. he# go silent and sit in their seats.
M22 $R(&HB(LL ;ou ha"e to put me in hoey, too. ou can-t put us all in the hoey, miss.; ome now, maggots. ou thin ha"en-t thought of that+ M$)) R-*%-'' takes a large radio transmitter from her belt. Delicatel#, she e4tends the antenna and flips open the lid, then presses a button. 1reen laser beams start to shoot from ever# which wa# across the theatre, shrouding ever#thing in green light.
M22 $R(&HB(LL -"e #een #usy! % whole array of hoeys! One for each and e"ery one of you! &ow that our little spelling test is o"er, can tell you that each and e"ery one of you has failed! MA$'DA peeks out from under her desk and e4tends her hands to the chalkboard. A piece of chalk starts moving upon the board.
M22 $R(&HB(LL ou see, maggots, in this world, there are two types of human #eing. $he winners and the losers. %nd / &84L $he chal! Loo, the chal! M22 $R(&HB(LL What+ HLD t-s mo"ing. 4R t-s mo"ing! t-s . . . t-s writing something. M22 $R(&HB(LL What the de"il+ Who+ Who+ HLD &o one. &o one-s doing anything. M$)) R-*%-'' switches off the lasers. he chalk starts writing as the %$'DR&* read the words from the board.
HLD %g * a * tha. %gatha. HLD $his * is * Magnus. M$)) O*&/ reaches up as though to touch the letters, then looks at MA$'DA.
M22 $R(&HB(LL He can-t. He can-t!
HLD 8i"e * my * 3en * ny * #ac * her * house. HLD $hen * L4%54! M22 $R(&HB(LL &o. &o, no, no, no, no. HLD and M22 $R(&HB(LL Or * * will * get * you / HLD and M22 $R(&HB(LL / lie * O( * 8O$ * M4! HLDR4& and M22 HO&4 Run! Run! R(&! 0etc. 1 M$)) R-*%-'' makes as though to erase the letters, but is bullied off the steps on the stage and disappears. he %$'DR&* scream in triumph. R-%&, who has until this point been silent, stands on his desk and takes out a microphone.
BR(4 $hooo*a! 2ever again will she get the best of me. 2ever again will she take away my freedom. And we don+t forget the day we fought HLDR4& #or the right to be a little bit naughty! 2ever again BR(4 - will the hokey door slam! HLDR4& 2ever again BR(4 - will I be bullied, and HLDR4& 2ever again BR(4 - will I doubt it when HLDR4& 8y mummy says I+m a miracle. &e"er again! MA$'DA walks over to M$)) O*&/. he# take each other b# the hand and run off.
HLDR4& 2ever again will we live behind bars.
2ever again now that we know we are
$e can S * 3 * : how we like. If enough of us are wrong, $rong is right. very one 2 * & * < * T * why% +ause we+re a little bit naughty! So we got to stay inside the line. If we disobey at the same time, There is nothing that the Trunchbull can do. BR(4 2he can tae her hammer and 2 * H * ( / HLDR4& 'ou didn+t think you could push us too far, ut there+s no going back now. $e <**>*&*:*T*I*2-
BR(4 Re"olting times! HLDR4& $e+ll S * I * 2 * ? BR(4 2ongs! HLDR4& =*S*I*2*?BR(4 Rhymes! HLDR4& $e+ll be < * * > * & * : * T * I * 2 * ?. It is @:B=. $e < * * volting. O'D&R 0$D) start 6umping in from off the stage and 6oin the %$'DR&*.
HLDR4& and OLD4R 9D2 $e are revolting children, :iving in revolting times. $e sing revolting songs, =sing revolting rhymes. $e+ll be revolting children Till our revolting+s done. It is @:B=. he ne4t three verses overlap.
0HLDR4& $e are revolting children, :iving in revolting times. $e sing revolting songs, =sing revolting rhymes. $e+ll be revolting children Till our revolting+s done. OLD4R 9D2 $e < * * > * & * : * T * I * 2. $e+ll S * I * 2 * ?, = * S * I * 2 * ?. $e+ll be < * * > * & * : * T * I * 2 * ?. BR(4 2ever again will she get the best of me. $hooo*a! 1own, down, down, down.1 HLDR4& and OLD4R 9D2 It is @:B=. $e are revolting! With a bang, the theatre is showered in confetti. he %$'DR&* and O'D&R 0$D) run off stage and the scene changes to the librar#. MA$'DA
is standing facing the books, with a collection of books in her hand. M$)) O*&/ walks in reading from a piece of paper, and MR) 2&'2) stands on a small block.
MR2 :H4L:2 % few days later, the %cro#at and the 4scapologist-s daughter recei"ed a letter from a solicitor. t said that her parents- will had mysteriously turned up, and she was now the owner of a #eautiful old house, which had, up until that moment, #een owned #y the e"il aunt, one %gatha $runch#ull. 2he mo"ed in immediately. %nd she was "ery happy. Happier than she had e"er #een in her entire life. M22 HO&4 %nd as for Miss $runch#ull, she was ne"er seen again. $he hoeys were immediately destroyed, and a new headmistress too o"er. MR2 :H4L:2 %nd her name was . . . 0 )he points happil#. 1 Miss Honey. %nd it is often said that it was the #est school in all the land. M22 HO&4 %nd do you now something else+ Matilda was ne"er again a#le to mo"e things with her eyes. thought it was #ecause her mind was #eing challenged, #ut she said it was #ecause she no longer had a need for superpowers. 2ometimes would loo at her . . . $he little girl who had done so much to help others, #ut was stuc with parents who were mean, and cruel, and called her names, and would feel my #lood #oil, and would wish that could )ust . . . do something. MR2 :H4L:2 2o, this is the end. %nd wish so much that could tell you that the story has a happy ending. wish so much that could tell you that Matilda got the lo"e she deser"ed. But perhaps the truth is . . . not all stories ha"e happy endings. here is a pause. he sound of a car pulling up is heard. MR WORMWOOD, MR) WORMWOOD, M$%A&', and R-DO'2O enter from the stairs to the left of the stage. M$%A&' is wearing a sombrero and R-DO'2O carries an inflatable alligator.
MR WORMWOOD Don-t )ust stand there gawping! We-re going to 2pain! M%$LD% 2pain+ But why+ MR2 WORMWOOD Because this idiot, this nit, this twit*#rain, seemed to thin it was a good idea to sell one hundred fifty fi"e old #angers . . . to the Russian mafia! MR WORMWOOD didn-t now they were the flaming Russian mafia, did + 0 e takes MA$'DA b# the wrist. 1 ome on, #oy. We-re lea"ing fore"er and we-re ne"er coming #ac. MR WORMWOOD starts to drag MA$'DA off stage. M$)) O*&/ runs to stand in his wa#.
M22 HO&4 Let Matilda stay here! With me. MR WORMWOOD #eg your pardon! M22 HO&4 Mr Wormwood, would lo"e to tae Matilda. f she-d lie to stay with me, that is. would loo after her with lo"e and care, and -d pay for e"erything. Would . . . Would you lie that, Matilda+ MR WORMWOOD ou mean . . . ou mean, lea"e our daughter here with you+ M%$LD% 0shocked 1 What did you say+ Did you . . . + MR2 WORMWOOD $hey-ll #e here any minute! M%$LD% Dad+ ou called me your daughter. here is the sound of a car pulling up. he Wormwoods and R-DO'2O scatter.
MR2 :H4L:2 >uic! Hide in the #oos! R(DOL:HO What if they damage my legs+ My #eautiful legs+ )everal &*%M&* in dark suits walk onto stage from the steps on both sides. he# are carr#ing weapons, including a baseball bat and a crowbar. )&R1&$, their head, steps onto stage in a furlined cloak. e pulls a pink lollipop from his mouth.
24R84 0to MA$'DA 1 ou are the Wormwoods- daughter+ M%$LD% es. 24R84 Where is your father+ M%$LD% He-s . . . don-t now. 24R84 Wormwood is a stupid man. %nd, #eing stupid, he assumed was stupid too. %nd that is a "ery, "ery stupid, and rude, thing to do. M%$LD% es, am afraid my daughter is @uite rude. %nd "ery, "ery stupid.
24R84 ou now this+ %t least there is one cle"er one in the family. he &*%M&* laugh. )&R1&$ cuts them off with a gesture.
24R84 What is your name, little girl+ M%$LD% Matilda. 24R84 lie you, Matilda. ou seem smart. ertainly, in my line of wor, you don-t often get to meet smart people lie you. Most of the people deal with, their thining is all #acwards. MH%4L Bacwards! he &*%M&* scatter, looking for the Wormwoods.
24R84 CEFGI JIKINEGPF P GIQ NIQ STUIVIQ. 02ri6atno po8nakomit:s6a s tako6 umno6 devo;ko6. 1 M%$LD% JPEXI. YT GIZT JEFGI JIKINEGPF P UNE. 0)pasibo. Mne to 1 M%$LD% ?@ BC EFEGE, CBC HI@ E@JEKL N. ?E PQP KBFBLK SPTBL QBJLG@.
0&e ta horo_o, a mne hotelos` #y. &o )a #udu starat`s)a i i7uat` dal`_e.1 24R84 Matilda! Who taught you how to spea Russian+ M%$LD% Well, taught myself, suppose. was reading Dostoye"sy, and )ust thought it would #e #etter to read it in the language it was written in. )&R1&$ leans down and kisses her three times on the cheeks.
24R84 am 2ergei! t is truly an honour to meet you, Matilda Wormwood. Matilda, your father has #een stupid and rude to #oth of us, yes+ could "ery easily ha"e one of my friends teach him manners. %nd one day, when he lea"es hospital, he will still #e stupid, #ut not so rude, thin. gi"e this as a gift to you. What do you say+ MA$'DA takes )&R1&$ b# the hand and pulls him to the side.
M%$LD% Mr 2ergei, this is a "ery tempting offer. But he is my father, and am his daughter. thin -"e had enough of re"enge. )&R1&$ takes his dark glasses off and bends on one knee.
24R84 This little girl . . . This miracle . . . 8atil*da . . . H4&HM%& b Da+ H4&HM%& Da+ H4&HM4& Da! All the henchmen raise their weapons at MR WORMWOOD, who is cowering on the floor.
24R84 UE VN Q@JB@@>
0to "y delaete+!1 H4&HM%& b XN KCBSBJ (YB(
05y sa7ali ;Da;!1 H4&HM%& Z I@ KCBSBJ (YB(
03a ne sa7al ;Da;!1 24R84 [BJLY\ KCBSBJ ([BJLY\(
0Matil`D%! )a sa7al ;Matil`D%;!1 he &*%M&* walk awa#, placated.
24R84 UE K VBH K@]EQI
0to s "ami segodn)a!1 0to MA$'DA 1 our father is "ery, "ery stupid. But he is also "ery, "ery, "ery . . . "ery lucy to ha"e you as his daughter. %lthough, if happen to #e doing #usiness here again and see him, he will not #e so lucy. )&R1&$ and the &*%M&* leave.
MR2 WORMWOOD >uic! Let-s get out of here #efore they change their minds! MR WORMWOOD Wait, what a#out the girl+
MR) WORMWOOD makes a sound of disgust as she hurries awa#.
MR WORMWOOD 0to MA$'DA 1 Do you / want to / stay here, with Miss Honey+ M%$LD% es. es, do! MR WORMWOOD 0to M$)) O*&/ 1 %nd do you want to, er, loo after her+ M22 HO&4 do. MR WORMWOOD Well. We are a #it short of room, so, yes. M%$LD% $han you. MA$'DA holds out her hand to her father. e takes it gingerl# in two fingers, and shakes it. After a thought, he tips his hat to her, and it comes awa# easil# in his hand. e pauses, and e4its down the stairs. MA$'DA runs to M$)) O*&/.
M22 HO&4 %nd Matilda leapt into Miss Honey-s arms / M%$LD% / and hugged her. M22 HO&4 Oh, Miss Honey hugged her #ac. MR2 :H4L:2 %nd they hardly noticed as the Wormwoods / R(DOL:HO 0off stage1 %nd Rudolpho! MR2 :H4L:2 %s the Wormwoods and Rudolpho sped away into the distance. MR) 2&'2) e4its, pushing a cart of books. MA$'DA and M$)) O*&/ have e#es onl# for each other.
M22 HO&4 Because they had found each other. M%$LD% es. $hey-d found each other. MA$'DA and M$)) O*&/ hold hands and walk together to the back of the stage. After a few steps, the# drop hands and do cartwheels ne4t to each other.
'ights go down. he# come up again to &R$% gliding across the stage on a scooter. 9or the curtain call, the whole cast, in turns, comes out on their own scooter, wheel around the stage, and take their bows.
OM:%& $hen I grow up, /$hen I grow up, when I grow up0 I will be tall enough to reach the branches That I need to reach to climb The trees you get to climb $hen you+re grown up.
And when I grow up, /$hen I grow up, when I grow up0 I will be smart enough to answer all The questions that you need to know The answers to efore you+re grown up. And when I grow up, I will eat sweets every day, &n the way to work, And I will go to bed late every night. And I will wake up $hen the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square, And I won+t care +ause I+ll be all grown up. $hen I grow up . . . M$)) R-*%-'' scooters down stage as the back of the stage parts.
OM:%& ven if you+re little you can do a lot. 'ou 8ustn+t let a little thing like )little) stop you. If you sit around and let them get on top, you $on+t change a thing. he compan# lines up on both sides of the middle of the stage. MA$'DA walks out to the front of the stage, and each member of the compan# bows down as she passes them.
OM:%& (ust because you find that life+s not fair, it 1oesn+t mean that you "ust have to grin and bear it. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, 'ou might as well be saying 'ou think that it+s okay And that+s not right!
And if it+s not right, 'ou have to put it right . . . he cast starts to make their e4its, leaving MA$'DA at the front of the stage.
