Masculine Intelligence

Masculine Intelligence

Paul Dobransky, M.D. and Men’s Psychology Magazine (C) 2012, All Rights Reserved

Foreword MEN’S TECHNOLOGY This book is an introduction to the fundamentals of Men’s Psychology’s major systems and programs for men. It’s taken over 15 years of practice, research and education.

The enclosed Masculine Intelligence Program comes with an Audio Program, this transcript of it. You are also invited to take advantage of the entirely free Advanced Masculine Intelligence that comes along with every Men’s Psychology On Demand Membership. It is intended to get you started on a complete understanding of the invisible

Enjoy!

world of psychology from a purely masculine perspective addressing aspects of yo

We will be using strategies and tactics from:

ur relations with women, your progress on a mission in life at work,

• MindOS Mastery • Mature Masculine Power • KWML Mastery • The Omega Male Program • Masculine Intelligence in Personal Boundaries • The Depresculinity Program

and the experience, pride and accomplishment of being a man in general. This is Dr. Paul for http://www.menspsychology.com and Men's Psychology magazine and welcome to Masculine Intelligence, a special program that I am putting on for you today. Thanks for being here. We are going to do a question and answer section in here, but we're going to focus down on: what do we mean by masculine intelligence, and why do we provide the science of being a man at www.menspsychology.com?

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We are going to be covering all of the general areas of a man's life and we're going to be applying this idea of masculine intelligence to those areas. That's what we're going to do.

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Chapter 1

“The Science of Being a Man”

You were born with this power, because you are male, but it will take a lifetime for you to fully discover its depth and breadth, and just as in any technology, its uses and misuses. You will most sharpen, cultivate and master these instincts in two arenas - that of women and work.. Click for Deeper Study

Section 1 - Click for Deeper Study

The Science of Being a Man YOUR LIFE 1. Depends on numerous things, but the most core thing is your level of masculinity and its expression

What is the science of being a man?

2. It is not the same as being a woman, even though women can do any job men do, are just as intelligent, and have just as much emotion and identity

the science of being a man?

3. There are cultural forces that would have you believe that being a man is no different or unique than being a woman

Why do we describe ourselves as helping you with that specifically:

To a lot of people, the word science implies something scary or difficult to understand. Maybe something we didn't do so well at in school. I mean it in a lighterhearted way than all of that. Although our science is very robust and can be very technical if you drill down deep enough into it.

CLICK FOR DEEPER INSTRUCTION

The idea behind the science – I'm reminded of its importance by a recent news story I saw. You know how there have been all of these controversial court rulings and criminal trials and things like this happening? I saw a show with the very eminent attorney Alan Dershowitz on it. He is this big legal theorist, the grandfather of modern law in America.

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The host of the show was commenting on what he felt was

we here, what are we meant to do, and how does the world

an atrocious court ruling in a criminal case, where the person

work around us?

got off even though everyone thought that they were guilty. It's thinking about thinking. He said, "This is a travesty. How does American law work if it doesn't find truth and justice? Isn't that what law is about?"

That is what gave rise to psychology around Freud's time. We started using this word: psychology.

Alan Dershowitz said, "Well, no, law is not about truth and justice. Law is about sticking to the Constitution and

So Men's Psychology certainly has built into it; the notion of

administering laws and rules appropriately."

philosophy as a valuable way of thinking.

He said, "If you want truth, go to a scientist. And if

Trying to understand ourselves and the world around us

you want justice, go to a philosopher. Don't go to a lawyer."

in detail, in terms of what does it all mean?

I thought that was really interesting and different that he

How does this all work? I want to understand. That's philosophy.

chose those two words to describe truth and justice; a scientist and a philosopher, because that is a lot of what we

There was a philosopher: Bertrand Russell, who once said

provide at Men's Psychology Magazine.

that: "Philosophy is the no-man's land between science and religion." I think that is a pretty interesting quote in terms of

There is a lot to what we do that has roots in that “scary”

philosophy or psychology being a kind of territory in

word: philosophy. And it turns out philosophy as a field of

between science and religion.

study is really what immediately pre-dates the rise of psychology as a field.

Now when we talk about religion – I don't really talk about specific religions. I respect them, whatever one you come

Philosophy is, very broadly speaking, thinking about the

from, but there is certainly a spiritually sense to our psychology.

meaning of things and who are we as humans and why are 5

We are drawn to want answers and meaning in

Everything that we talk about and teach at Men's

life and in who we are. What is our identity?

Psychology has to do with this principle: that if there are laws by which things work and science is a part of that, then

Science offers something very unique. It offers us the ability

we can rely on it.

to try to come up with what the common principles and laws are by which things work, and to be able to rely on

This is not all opinion.

them repeating into the future, to things still working the same way moving into the future.

When I teach men about, for example, dating or relationships, I'm not just drawing form my personal

In that sense, at times, some of the materials you are going to

experience of having been on dates. I'm drawing from some

learn in Men's Psychology can seem almost like magic so to

very robust principles and material that comes from my

speak.

profession.

Obviously they aren't. There is no such thing as magic, but they seem magical for the reason that they can be predictive. If you can learn to decode what is going on in your dating, or your relationships with women, or in your career then you are going to have this predictive power to kind of know generally what's more likely to happen in the future. That's very powerful because you can make some solid choices that way, so that things go well for your life. That all comes down to what science offers. 6


Who is “Dr. Paul?” A GUY LIKE YOU 1. A guy who had to learn about love from scratch, like you

I'm coming from a standpoint that is curious.

2. A guy who started with nothing and built a career from scratch, like you

I'm a curious person and if you're here, you probably have that trait as

3. A guy who took that, and learned to help himself... 4. ...so that he could help you in the same way

well. You wonder what makes things tick. You are a curious man. I am coming neither from a place of just opinion and being opinionated, nor am I coming from a place that is intellectually elitist, so to speak. Although, I talk about a lot


of principles that are maybe new and different to guys that have not had formal training in science, the reason I had to develop all of this material was to help myself understand it. In my formal education – The words used in my field are really sophisticated words that I always felt did not offer a lot of practical value in everyday life, to the point where I had to translate them for me to even understand them. I'm very much a visual learner. Maybe you are too. I've never been as good with written materials and reading in 7

order to understand things. I have to draw pictures for

both nutritious foods. They are the same in that way, but

myself to understand what's what. That's the beginnings of

they are different. They taste different, they look different.

Men's Psychology. That's what I did for myself to

And that's okay - they ARE different.

understand psychology better, was to draw diagrams of how things work.

But both are good for you.

I'm not coming from an intellectual, superior place at all in

Men and women are different in this way, specifically in

talking to you. I'm coming to you as a guy just like you

their instincts. How they interpret the world, how they

who's curious and wants to learn and understand things

communicate, and especially what makes them feel most

thoroughly and maybe have some predictive power for the

alive or passionate, or even in romance makes them feel

future ; knowing what to do to get things done successfully

sexually attracted and attractive.

and happily. That is where we are very different: men and women. That is the value of science. The science of being a man would be specifically advocating The science of being a man would first have to recognize that

for men and speaking men's language to them about

men and women are equal but decidedly different. The

psychology and how it works in a way that's going to be

place that they are different is in their instincts.

very powerful for you specifically as a man.

In fact, this word masculinity and the word femininity I have

The science of being a man is what we're all about.

found to be simply the unconscious instincts that are unique to men versus the unconscious instincts that are unique to women. Being different from each other does not make us unequal. It just makes us different; like an apple and an orange are 8

Chapter 2

What is Masculinity?

It’s not the same as Femininity. It’s also not “self-esteem,” maturity, style, or dictated by cultures or society. It’s instinctual, a set of reflexes, and it’s your source of passion for women and for life itself. You will power ahead in life because of these three... Click for Deeper Study


Instincts vs. Character UNCONSCIOUS VS CONSCIOUS 1. The unconscious mind is the same as the instincts - irrational, illogical, and yet still “masculine”

This program, Masculine Intelligence – let's take a look at

2. The conscious mind is where character, maturity, logic and rationality are working

What do we mean by masculine intelligence? A lot of the time

3. The emotions are somewhere between the two

someone one-upping someone else in how smart they are.

that phrase. What do I mean by that?

when you think of the word intelligence you may think of

What I mean by the word intelligence is that you are awake, and aware, and CLICK FOR DEEPER INSTRUCTION

curious, and inquisitive, and know what time it is. You have a sense of understanding the hows, whats and whys of psychology and how things work; whether it is dating and relationships, or its career, you are in intelligent in terms of knowing. You get it, you understand. Why "masculine" intelligence? You may have heard of the word intelligence being used 10

in a lot of sort of "markety"ways out there over the years. In Masculine Intelligence, we say that that men are unique, There was a thing called "emotional intelligence".

that men have unique sets of instincts and reflexes,

There was a book and training programs by a psychologist with

ways of seeing the world, very unique ways of

that name.

solving problems quickly, unconsciously even; doing things without thinking a whole lot about them

What he was doing, basically, was trying to get people

because of being male; this notion of instincts; and

out of the sense of having an IQ and more into learning

what are they, and how does that fit into psychology?

about emotions and how they work, and how to be more socially savvy. Really what it amounted to is a

Another way of looking at that is to say that if you went

way of describing character.

back to the very first model of Freud's where he said: "Well, there's a conscious mind and there's an unconscious mind."

Character has everything to do with our maturity level. The notion of emotional intelligence was basically to get people

Really what he was talking about is instincts - behaviors that

thinking more about emotions and social connections to each

simply happen automatically without us having to think.

other and the importance of social connections to bettering our lives through having a mature character.

We go deep into what the differences are between men and women in the instincts in the Mature Masculine Power Program -

We go to exhaustive lengths in the men’s training program called

in fact, that program covers male instincts as if they are a giant

MindOS Mastery to teach every detail of growing character

tool kit for you to pull out the right instinct for the right situation in

maturity to men.

life - with women or work - and from there we also look at “male initiation, or going from “boy thinking” to “man thinking.”

Well, Masculine Intelligence would go even deeper than that. If you are sleeping, you don't have to wake up and remind In fact, we even lay it out further in a second ebook for you, called

yourself to breath, or for your heart to beat. These are

Advanced Masculine Intelligence, which comes free with subscribing to our Men’s Psychology On Demand Service. 11

autonomic, or automatic. They are reflexes of the body that are programmed to keep operating even without you being

So as a result, the idea of masculine intelligence recognizes

at the steering wheel.

that we have these two parts to the mind. We have an intellect, we have a conscious part of the mind that we do

You don't have to make your own heart beat, or make

steer and do control and through which we do understand

yourself breath. It happens automatically.

things logically; but there is this other part of the mind too, that is uniquely masculine and is unconscious, that is run by

If we extend that idea of instincts into other areas of life like:

reflexes and instincts.

dating, relationships, career, and general personal growth. Then we can understand them in a richer and more practical

If we learn to understand those primitive instincts that

way than just thinking about the functions of the body. We

make us uniquely male and bring it all together, that we'll

can say, "Huh, just because I am male I will have a tendency

be at the steering wheel of all of our behavior.

to automatically react a certain way to certain situations in life." For example, in competition with other men I'm going to have this reaction that I don't even need to think about. Or in sexual attraction, in early dating I'm going to react and behave in certain situations without having to consciously think about it on purpose. It's because I'm male. It's because I have masculinity that I react these certain ways without having to think. And it is decidedly different from how women react to the very same circumstances. 12


When Things Don’t Make Sense EXPLAINING THE UNEXPLAINABLE 1. When “things don’t make sense” or are “nonsense” or dramatic, it’s instincts at work

Have you ever had one of those experiences where you just

2. Men’s and Women’s Instincts are reflexes, not based in logic...

friend and then you kind of slap yourself on the forehead

3. Which is why “attraction is not a choice” because it is an irrational, illogical instinct

didn't need to say that. But why did I do that thing I just

4. When things go wrong or don’t make sense, it’s time to learn the deep roots of how the instincts work

shot your mouth off and said something inappropriate or discourteous or you offended a girlfriend, or you put off a and say: "Oh, what was I thinking? Why did I say that? I did?" It doesn't make any logical sense. Well, it makes perfect sense to us at Men's Psychology because


it was instinctive. You did it out of masculine instinct that you weren't awake and aware to at the time. And it may not have resulted in the best results for your life, or been the most socially appropriate, but it was perfectly masculine that you did that thing you did or said that thing you said. Instead of letting our instincts run our lives, if we could learn a little more about how they work and why, we could be more at the steering wheel of them, even though they aren't based in logic. 13

That is a basic principle of evolution. And so one of the things we There's a friend of mine that is really, really good at

draw on at Men's Psychology is Evolutionary Psychology.

marketing. He is not a science expert, but he likes talking to men, and he likes describing to them that – "Attraction is not

I had said at the outset: "Who am I and what is it that I've

a choice" is one of the things he says; it’s one of his little

created here?"

slogans. I'm closest to what you would call a "unification theorist". "Attraction is not a choice."

That means somebody who takes psychology models and combines them in a way that retains scientifically

What that really means – he's talking about sexual attraction

robust credence.

not love or partnership, not other areas of romance, but just sexual attraction not being a choice.

I combine models together to make new, more simple, and easier to understand models of psychology.

What he is saying is: "Sexual attraction is an instinct."

One of the things that I then do is learning about these various fields of psychology.

Instincts aren't choices, they are automatic. They're reflexes, and on top of all that, they are not logical. They are not

Evolutionary Psychology is one of the newest out there to

based in logic and common sense.

learn about. It addresses some of the more primitive, animal behavior aspects to us. So back to "attraction is not a choice";

The reason why, is that our instincts evolved. They came out

that's simply saying that sexual attraction is an instinct and

of the process of human evolution and as a result, the

instincts aren't logic based.

environment that we had to live in as primitive people was a threat on our lives - we had to adapt to it, and change with it -

When women do what they do in dating, we may roll our

get more and more automatic with how we respond to

eyes or complain, but the reason they do what they do is

threats so that we could stay alive as a species.

because they are feminine and they have a set of feminine instincts that are very different from ours. It's perfectly normal and natural for them to do. 14

And then we complain about it because we are not feminine. If they had more masculine intelligence, then they would We don't speak that language. We weren't trained to.

accept that being male and being masculine is good, but using masculinity as a set of tools or little working parts of

Masculine Intelligence is then the same goal that

your instincts; using them in the right ways at the right

psychoanalysis has, which is to get people to look at their

times to solve the right problems is going to be a more

unconscious drives and instincts that are so crazy and

successful way to go.

illogical, and get more behind the steering wheel of them; which is the same thing as growing up.

One of the ways we can go about this is to describe to you one of the most useful models that we use. As curious guys

It's the same thing as finding maturity:

trying to learn about psychology, life and people, comes from the evolutionary psychologist and to them when this

Where you get more and more control and understanding of

first came out it seems a little too simplistic and got shot

your own impulses and instincts and you steer them toward

down and pooh-poohed by the academic world. Yet,

building your life constructively; building something better

revisiting this, I found it to be really very helpful and

for yourself rather than just being caught unawares with

practical and useful.

your instincts running the show. To understand the conscious, logical mind in extreme detail, we You can see a lot of this "acting out" behavior, this normal

have the MindOS Mastery Program.

masculine instinct out in public, like in the politicians' lives when they have scandals and things like that.

And to understand the unconscious, irrational (but clearly instinctual) mind, we have the Mature Masculine Power Program.

They are “acting out.” It's perfectly normal, natural and masculine for them to do what they do, but if they do it at the wrong time in socially inappropriate ways, that's what creates the scandal. 15

Chapter 3

“Three Brains” of Being a Man

There are three areas of the mind that you need to be concerned with as a man - whether in addressing your relations with women, or at work, these three will keep you sharp in your instincts, energized in your emotions and self-esteem, and wise and successful in your intellectual life. You will power ahead in life because of these three... Click for Deeper Study


The Reptilian Brain THE REPTILIAN BRAIN The “Reptilian Brain” - center of the instincts and masculinity, the unconscious and “passion”


It's the Triune Brain Model: the idea of there being a part – a division in the mind into three parts that they called the reptilian brain, the mammalian brain and higher brain is very useful. One of the ways that we look at, a lot of times, love and romance is to see it all as one big mish-mash of stuff, and rarely do we divide it into these three parts. But if we did, we could perfectly understand our dating, our relationships, and our careers. The “Reptilian Brain: The first part, the reptilian brain, really is the same as Freud's sense of what he called the unconscious. It's our instincts, drive, reflexes, things that happen with us on autopilot. That's the reptilian brain. And in that area, men and women are most different. They're decidedly different. Masculinity is a set of reflexes and instincts that make you male. And femininity is a set of reflexes and instincts that make women, women. The reptilian brain addresses all the things that have to do with what both Freud and Darwin 17

talked about; surviving and reproducing. They both said in their own way that those two functions in us are really the prime, core drivers of all of our behavior. There is this force in us that is always trying to keep us alive, get us to survive, or to feel more alive, to feel more vital in other words; a second force in us that is driven toward sex and reproducing; toward finding a woman attractive and wanting to be attractive to them. These are in the reptilian brain. So this area of the mind, called the reptilian brain, it's where we have these two forces at work. We want to survive and we want to reproduce. It is responsible for everything we do that we slap ourselves in the head over or have regrets. "Why did I do that? Why did I say that?" It's all driven by this reptilian brain area of us.

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The Mammalian Brain THE MAMMALIAN BRAIN Mammalian Emotions - Responsible for Emotional Attraction with a woman. Responsible for “charisma” in social circles and the workplace

The second area is the mammalian brain. That's really just the center of


Emotions are more of a subjective feeling in us and the mammalian brain

emotions, and emotions are different from instincts. Instincts cause us to automatically, physically do things; to do physical behaviors.

is the center of them. Why is it called the mammalian brain to the evolutionary psychologist? It's because mammals are high enough animals that they have evolved to develop emotions. The reason mammals have emotions is because somewhere along the line in the evolutionary tree animals figures out that there is power in numbers; that if they hunt as a herd, that is going to get more food and nutrition than just hunting alone; and that if they associate with each other as a herd, it's more protective against predators, for example. Again, evolutionarily, it's all "we have to survive as a species." 19

Mammals came along and they grew organically as they

Yet, language and words are not needed to have friendship

evolved – these species figured it out that the way to cause

or love. It's simply an exchange of emotion. You can tell

association and connection working as a team or as a unit by

when your dog is sad or depressed. In fact, today they even

separate creatures is through emotional bonding; which

prescribe Prozac to dogs and cats that are depressed. So

today we could simply call "friendship", and which is the

clearly, dogs and cats have emotions. They're mammals.

same thing as love.

That's the mammalian brain.

You can love a woman romantically, and that implies that you don't just love her, you also have desire for her. But you can also love a friend and not have the desire part. You could love a family member. In fact, you can even truly love and have friendship with your pets. Your dog or your cat that is your pet is a mammal just like you, and mammals have emotions. And simply because of emotions, that's how we can define friendship or love. It's simply an exchange of emotion. That's how mammals figured out how to work as a group or as a team, even though they have separate bodies. It's their emotional bond. And with your pets, the thing that causes us to not think of pets as actual friends is because there is no language, obviously.

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The Higher Brain THE HIGHER (HUMAN) BRAIN Higher-Brained Maturity - Character and Intellect - responsible for all partnerships and commitments, as well as overall success with women and work.

The last part of the brain evolutionary psychologists call the higher brain. The higher brain is what makes us more sophisticated than other animals. It houses our intellectual ability and especially is houses our ability to


think abstractly and to have an imagination; and therefore to predict the future; to take a guess at what is likely to happen in the future. This is something that lower animals don't have to the degree that we do, which is why evolutionists call it the higher brain. This is the area you would call the conscious mind, and the area in which we are self-aware and where we have logic ability. You would also say that it is the center of maturity. We can't really call animals mature or immature, but we can call other human beings mature or immature. That's because of the higher brain.

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These three areas of the mind: the reptilian brain, the mammalian brain and the higher brain, make up three general areas of our mind and how it functions. We cover all you could want to know about these three brains in the area of dating, relationships and romance in the Omega Male Program at www.menspsychology.com.

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Chapter 4

Two Areas of Life to Master as a Man There are three areas of life that you need to be concerned with as a man - addressing your relations with women, your progress at work, and therefore being a man in general. You will power ahead in life because of these three... Click for Deeper Study


Relations With Women THREE KINDS OF CONNECTION TO WOMEN 1. The “Reptilian Brain” - center of Sexual Attraction, masculinity, femininity and “passion”

If you go to www.menspsychology.com, what you will end up seeing

2. The “Mammalian Brain” - center of Emotional Attraction, friendship, love, and “value”

feature articles. You will see three areas of life, three important

3. The “Higher Brain” - center of Intellectual Attraction, wisdom, decisions, logic, boundaries, rights, self-awareness, and partnership in commitment

Those are women, work and being a man.

is that now that we have embarked on being journalistic with what we do, we have a button there called "features" and that's areas of life that tend to give us the most challenges.

But over under "programs" if you see these same categories: · Skills with women


· Skills in career, and... · Skills at being a man... ...and then finally one to wrap them all together: • skills at growth and evolution.

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These are the major areas of challenge in a man's life, and the major areas of growth: women, career and being a man. What we do with our programs then is we address those major areas of life for men using a different course or program that comes from each of these three areas of the mind: the reptilian brain, the mammalian brain and the higher brain. Our prime course that addresses these three “types of attraction” with a woman is called the Omega Male Program on Video Streaming, CD/DVD or live seminars in some of the world’s major cities.

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How Your Brain Affects Work THE WORK BRAIN 1. Mature Masculine Power - the instincts of work

MATURE MASCULINE POWER:

2. KWML - teambuilding and personality styles at work

So our course that addresses, “What is masculinity?” - what

3. MindOS Mastery - politics and diplomacy at work 4. The Men’s Psychology On Demand Program - getting guidance and mentoring about work (and women as well as personal growth too!) CLICK FOR DEEPER INSTRUCTION

are the instincts, what is there to be learned about them, what are all the variations of them, when and how do I use them in life? That's in the Mature Masculine Power Program. When we're thinking about the mammalian brain, the emotions what is friendship, what is love, what are emotions and how do they work, and what are they useful for? That has everything to do with personality style. What makes us different from each other, not just different from women, has a lot to do with our personality style.

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KWML MASTERY:

You have something called boundaries, you have decision making, you have ethics or conscience, and intuition or

The program we have that addresses that is called KWML

shrewdness that guide your decisions. You have two kinds

Mastery. KWML Mastery means that there are four kinds of

of learning that you do, that you could call left-brained and right-

personality.

brained, or education versus experience. There are two kinds of self-esteem in you: well-being and confidence.

There are Kings (or Queens if we're talking about a woman), Warriors, Magicians and Lovers. These are the four general

MINDOS MASTERY:

personality styles that we talk about. Each one of them expresses itself differently and emotionally.

All of these are addressed in the MindOS Mastery Program.

If you wanted to learn about love, friendship, compatibility

Why do I call it MindOS? It's because, just like the

in terms of personality style, and therefore communication,

evolutionary psychologists, I view the brain as being

likes and dislikes, likely future behaviors, things that people

something physical. It's an organ of thinking and behavior,

prefer; then it would serve you well to learn a lot about

but it's like computer hardware.

personality styles. The mind is different from the brain, and yet related to it in That's why the KWML Mastery Course talks about

the same way that software can run on computer hardware.

personality style. That's the mammalian brain.

Your brain is like hardware and your mind is like software. When we talk about software in the computer world,

The higher brain is everything intellectual and your

sometimes we use this phrase: operating system. That

conscious mind and how it works. It has a lot of working

means the software that houses, contains and channels all

parts too.

the workings of any other kind of software. That's an operating system. MindOS means: the operating system of the human mind. 27

is the ability to understand life as a man instinctually as That's what you learn about in MindOS Mastery. It's your

different from how women understand life, and how they

conscious mind. It's everything to do with boundaries,

behave. In so doing, we can understand women better,

decisions, self-esteem and your ideas and your intellect; how

understand how we are different.

all of that works together to compose what we could call your character, or your maturity.

We use this same method of doing teleseminars every week, by the way. Those are available to you if you are member of

Character is a different thing from personality. Character is

Men's Psychology "On Demand", which you can find on the

maturity. Personality is just a style of expressing your

site under men's resources – the On Demand membership.

identity. Your level of maturity is different from your general style of personality.

We field questions live, or if you can't attend the calls, you can shoot those questions in anyway and we will answer

MindOS addresses character and maturity; the conscious

them on audio. The whole thing gets recorded as a download for

mind, the higher brain that the evolutionary psychologists

you.

talk about. KWML is all about your emotional life, the emotional part of your mind, or the mammalian brain. Then finally, your core primitive instincts called masculinity is addressed by Mature Masculine Power. What we could do is go through these general areas of life, as a man: women, career, and being a man in general, general personal growth, and address each of those three concerns that men have with some masculine intelligence; which 28

Chapter 5

Why Men Compete

There is no avoiding conflict and competition in the life of a man. Make it better for yourself by getting real skills, and learning why men compete the way they do. You too, can become a “fierce competitor”... Click for Deeper Study


May the Best Man Win DON’T TAKE IT THAT WAY 1. Men compete to know what their ranks are 2. Men compete to know what their roles are 3. Men compete to learn whether they can trust their lives with you on the same team

QUESTION:

Yeah, Dr. Paul. Why do men compete with each other?

Dr. Paul: Well, we can look at that on each of these three levels: the reptilian brain level, the mammalian brain level (for personality differences), and then the higher brain level (maturity differences). Leaving those later two alone for


now, let's go with just primitive instincts that we call masculinity. Why do we compete with each other, how do we compete with each other and how is that different from the way women compete with themselves and each other? It's always useful to do a little mental experiment; going back in time by eons, many hundreds of thousands of years and ask yourself: "What were humans doing to try to survive? What were men doing differently from women?" It had a lot to do with their societal roles – came out of body size and muscularity. Today we have computers and we have all the technology that made the sexes exactly equal in 30

what they are able to do in career, but in ancient times our

It was crucial to figure out a sense of rank and skill level and

bodies actually matters, as far as roles in society.

a hierarchy among them. Why? Because if they didn't, just like in today's military, you have various ranks because you

Men would take roles in mainly killing. We would kill

instantly know who needs to be leading whom and doing

animals for food, we'd hunt, and we'd wage war and get

what, to be a most efficient team when it's life or death stakes.

defense against other tribes that would try to take our food or our women. We had to kill. We naturally took to those

We're either going to starve or we're not, if we have a good hunt.

roles because of larger body size and muscularity. That's how we compete. We compete by trying to one-up Women would take roles in organizing, protecting, and

each other in rank. We need to do that, it's built into our

conserving the grain through the winter, for example. They

instincts because if we don't, at some point in times' past, we

would know how much there is and how long it will last;

could die for not doing that.

child rearing and child care while the men were out killing. Now when women compete, it's more about a sense of: do I It's not a "sexist" thing, it's common sense and it's biology

belong or not, or do we shun this one particular woman or

that because of our body differences and muscularity

not? It's not as much about: what is my rank? Am I number

differences we just evolved into these two roles. Masculine

one, two or three? We men are very rank-based and that's

instinct would go along with that. The role doesn't make the

why we have to compete.

instinct. The instinct leads to the role. We can get more into that some other time.

Now, if you want to get into, some other time perhaps on a teleseminar, the idea of: what is fighting dirty versus

As far as competition, what would happen is: if you could

competing like a gentleman?

imagine a group of men out on a hunt and they didn't know anything about each other when they were forming this

What is gentlemanly competition versus brutal, no holds

hunting team, what was crucial to figure out?

barred competition? That has to do with ones' maturity level too. Ideally, if we compete like gentlemen we both get to 31

grow, even though one person will be called the victor, one person will be called the winner and the other guy won't. We both learn from it.

32


Men Who Play Dirty DOUCHEBAGS AND TOOLS 1. Watch out for these guys 2. Learn how “playing dirty” is a brief advantage 3. Learn how competing “like a gentleman” is never forgotten

QUESTION:

The interesting thing about that suggestion is, let's say you

were a gentleman and you tried to compete as a gentleman, but you're competing against somebody that is playing dirty. Would you say that you are at a disadvantage? Dr. Paul: You would say the rules are different than if you were competing with another gentleman. You would never be at


a disadvantage if you have this thing we're generally talking about called: masculine intelligence. It simply means you “know what time it is.” You know what is going on psychologically; you can read the scenario for these three areas of the mind. If you are a good guy who wants to compete like a gentleman but you're dealing with someone who fights dirty, then what you automatically know through checking out the boundaries in the situation is that you have good solid mature boundaries and that other guy doesn't. He is less mature than you, which means that he's not going to play by the rules, which means you are going to have to contain him or remove yourself from the picture - eject from the competition 33

because he is just going to cause a whole lot of damage, including potentially to himself. The approach at it doesn't mean it's a no-win situation for you, it just means you're going to have to take a role almost as a parent. Like if you had a son and you were wrestling with your son and he was getting a little extreme and he picked up a knife or a hammer or something, you'd say: "Okay, whoa whoa whoa, no no, you're not going to do that. You put that down." You would get the danger out of his hands. You would have to take that some kind of containment role over this guy who fights dirty. In other words, don't fight him unless you can completely “shock and awe” him; overwhelm him, because he won't play fair. You have to have total dominance over him in the way that a parent can completely control a child. Or get out of there, eject.

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Chapter 6

Why Learn Men’s Psychology?

Men’s minds work differently from a woman’s. We are equal yet different, and have an entirely different set of instincts - and this is the major difference between men and women - the reflexes and instincts that we call Masculinity are very different from those of Femininity. You will power ahead in life because of these differences... Click for Deeper Study


Men’s Psychology is Different THREE DIFFERENCES 1. The “Reptilian Brain” - this is where Masculinity and Femininity reside, and what makes us most different

WHY LEARN “MEN’S PSYCHOLOGY?”

2. The “Mammalian Brain” - center of the emotions, where men and women are of four types - King or Queen, Warrior, Magician or Lover

understand how the programs work and why we've designed it this way for you.

3. The “Higher Brain” - center of the intellect, where men and women are quite equal in maturity, intelligence and personal growth CLICK FOR DEEPER INSTRUCTION

Let's take a quick look at these general areas. I want you to

Really what we're doing at menspsychology.com is that we are a combination of resources for men that are educational with journalism from a man point of view - something that you really don't see in any one place out there. Even the major men's magazines and major men's websites are so large that they are at least partially, if not threequarters staffed with women who have feminine instincts and see the world a certain way, and communicate with certain feminine instincts. It, let's say, contaminates the advocacy of men in “only a man's voice.” What we're trying to do is preserve that both in our journalism as well as in what we teach, not in a way where it is men versus women, but in a way where it just simply honors that men think this certain way... 36

THE OMEGA MALE PROGRAM: That's the ...and they need certain things to feel good as men, in man

Omega Male Program and what it does, is it takes these three

language. That's what we're going overall. That's the big picture.

areas of the mind: reptilian brain, mammalian brain and higher brain and it envisions a courtship process between a man and a

Tunneling down to these three items:

woman as marching through those same three areas of the mind.

· Features - which are feature articles on women or career or

Reptilian brain means “sexual attraction.”

being a man in general, and... It's the first thing that's got to happen with a woman. If you · Programs - our educational courses, once again, skills with

don't get sexual attraction with a woman right away, there

women, skills in career and skills in being a man. And

are going to problems progressing any further at all. You are

then finally wrap them all together with...

not going to make a girlfriend out of her; you're not going to marry her. There's got to be sexual attraction first.

· Skills in growth and evolution as a man. How many guys screw THAT up? They think a woman they What we do here is we combine these three general

have befriended might “come around” or “see the light,” or

concerns: women, work and being a man ...

somehow realize “what a great guy” he is.

...with the three areas of the mind that there are to learn

Wrong. It’s too late. You are friends, and a man who is

about: the reptilian, the mammalian brain and the higher brain.

friends with a woman, in which there is no sexual attraction I’m sorry, it is just not going to happen, EVER.

If you were to click on "skills with women" under “programs,” you would see several different courses, the

You must START with SEXUAL ATTRACTION for it to

first of which is “The Omega Male Program:

EVER be present later.

Total Mastery of Sexual Attraction and Dating.”

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THE KWML MASTERY PROGRAM: Second, there's got to be the mammalian brained idea of friendship, love and emotional compatibility. That's the KWML Mastery Course - how that tunnels down into that specific area. In the Omega Male Program it combines really all of the programs to address women and romance. Sexual attraction, followed by friendship or love, which is the same as emotional attraction, and then the third phase of human courtship is partnership and commitment. Usually the area that men are least interested in learning about, but it's still there. If you are married or want to someday be married, you've got to learn about that area: commitment or partnership (intellectual attraction.) That's what I mean by "total mastery of sexual attraction and dating". That's the Omega Male Program.

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Chapter 7

Sex, and “Being a Man” Around Women What women say they want in a man on the surface is a very different thing from what they desire and respond to sexually, in dating and relationships. This is because the reptilian brain of both men and women is instinctual and unconscious - it is a set of reflexes that are triggered... Click for Deeper Study


Sex and Being a Man THREE POWERS 1. The “Reptilian Brain” - center of the instincts and masculinity, the unconscious and “passion”

SEX AND BEING A MAN AROUND WOMEN: Underneath that you see Sex and "Being a Man" Around Women.

2. The “Mammalian Brain” - center of the emotions, happiness, friendship, love, teamwork, and “value”

What that's doing is tunneling down deep into just the first

3. The “Higher Brain” - center of the intellect, wisdom, decisions, logic, boundaries, rights, self-awareness, and partnership in commitment

That has everything to do with how masculine are you and how feminine she is.


phase of human courtship, which is just sexual attraction.

Ultimately, if you want to have a sexual attraction and connection with a woman, the higher your masculinity in general, the more attractive you will be to her. The higher her femininity in general, the more attractive she'll be to you. That's even regardless of her precise looks. Have you ever been just sexually really desiring a woman that maybe some of your buddies said was not that attractive to them, but she was to you?

40

It's because it's not just about looks, although that's the

Now isn't that a different thing from just getting sexual

biggest drive of men being attracted to women. It's also

attraction going in the first place? The notion of a girlfriend

about their femininity, how they conduct themselves, how

means you are going to date exclusively. You're not going to

they treat you, how they behave, how they move. That all

see other people at the same time in most cases; for that to

really gets your blood boiling for them sexually.

work out for you you've got to have more than just sexual attraction going on. You've got to a match of personality

Sex and "Being a Man" Around Women is then addressing the

styles or you are not going to get along well.

primitive ways of conducting yourself with women that with a public spotlight on it might seem undiplomatic, or

You're not going to be able to keep a commitment going

politically incorrect and this sort of thing; but we all know is

because you just don't make good partners, even in a boyfriend-

nonetheless attractive to women.

girlfriend relationship. The KWML Mastery Program addresses that by describing people as having four different kinds of

What women complain about publicly about men is very

personality style.

different from how they might respond to you in private. They might complain to their mom about what a jerk you are, but then secretly, privately they want you desperately. They want to come over to your place and feel sexual toward you. That has everything to do with your level of masculinity. The program that we address that with beyond the Omega Male Program to tunnel down deep is the Mature Masculine Power Program. It's learning about all these little circuits that compose the thing that we call your masculinity. Underneath that is “How to Choose and Keep a Girlfriend.”

41


Get a Personality THE FOUR TYPES 1. Kings and Queens - logical, organized, and nurturing

PERSONALITY

2. Warriors - logical, organized, and outgoing, action-oriented

• A King or a Queen is a nurturing, kind, yet wise and

3. Magician - creative, spontaneous, outgoing and action-oriented, performers 4. Lovers - creative, spontaneous, shy, passive, nurturers

thoughtful analytical person. • A Warrior is an analytical, targeted, exact logic-based person who is harddriving and outgoing. They are action- taking. • A Magician is more on the creative side of thinking, less


analytical, more humorous, fun, adventurous, big thinker, but also action oriented. It's a world traveler, an adventurer, the life of the party, the master of ceremonies - that's a magician. • A Lover is a more kind, nurturing, soft, but also artistic, creative person. It turns out that in these four personality styles, which have nothing to do with gender, have nothing to do with being a man or a woman they are just personality styles.

42

If you find someone who is your opposite in personality style, you make a perfect team for dealing with things that

If they're your partner or they're your friend, you don't feel

happen in life.

threatened by that because they're your friend, or they're your partner. They are good at things you're not. You're

If you are, say, a King male then you need a Magician female

good at things they're not.

to round yourself out. The great thing about it is as romantic partners, girlfriend-boyfriend, you make such a robust team

So opposites attract in friendship and what we would call, Love.

together because anything that comes at you life someone is gifted at handling. If it's not you, then it's her. If it's not her,

Love is a different thing from desire, from sexual desire.

then it's you. They are entirely different. Even better than that, since you originally asked about competition, when we pair up with someone, male or female –

Just that distinction right there can be completely

It it's just a male buddy and you're calling it a friendship,

enlightening to a guy who's trying to navigate the dating

or if it is a woman and you're calling it a romance, if the

world, to understand that if a woman desires you sexually,

person is your opposite there's minimal threat of competing

she might not at all love you in terms of your personality

with each other because you are good at “your thing.”

matching.

The gifts of your personality style in terms of talents and

Or she may love you and mean it when she says: "I consider

abilities that are “natural-born.”

you a friend." That might mean she "loves" you, but she just doesn't sexually desire you. She is not lying. She's telling

As a King, you're good at being studious and being an

the truth.

expert and giving advice, and your opposite, the Magician, has their thing. They are good at public performance. They

It's because there are these three areas of the mind, not just

are good at cracking a joke. They're good at singing in

one. You would immediately know then that you've got to

public. They are good at going out and solving problems on

ramp up your sexual attraction skills as opposed to your

the fly. That's not your thing.

emotional skill. 43

...you master every possible area of dealing with women, Choosing a girlfriend has everything to do with KWML

whether it's relating to a girlfriend or having a better dating

Mastery, personality styles.

life or communicating with women in the workplace, these four programs help you completely understand and master

Lastly, there's How to Manage a Committed Relationship.

everything you ever wanted in the world of women.

That's beyond boyfriend-girlfriend. That is long-term partnership. You guys better have a match of maturity level and good boundaries or it will not work out. Someone will cheat on someone or you just find you can't partner up and solve problems well together. It just doesn't work. That is MindOS Mastery that you address that with. Using these four courses: · Mature Masculine Power to learn about masculine instinct · KWML to learn about personality styles · MindOS to learn about maturity and boundaries, and... · The Omega Male Program which wraps it all together...

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Chapter 8

Career Excellence

Men vest a great deal of personal identity in their career progress, and this is not a voluntary choice. It’s instinctual. As a result, your career progress gives you passion for life, a feeling of more masculinity, identity and attractiveness to women for this very reason. You will excel in career first, to excel with women... Click for Deeper Study


Career Makes the Man GET A MISSION, NOT A JOB 1. Your “mission in life” is more than a job or even a career...

CAREER ISSUES:

2. It is a source of identity and masculinity...

The next area is career. Now, why do we have these three

3. ...which powers your very passion for life itself, and attracts women, friends, and opportunity


areas: women, work and being a man, especially “women and work?” Why are they so important? There is a thing we talk about in the Mature Masculine Power Program called the “Equation of Masculinity.” If there were a way that I wanted to try to subjectively quantify "what is masculinity?" in a way that you could sort of sense or measure or analyze. What I came up with is, “If masculinity is a set of reflexes or instincts and if instincts according to both Freud and Darwin are for the purpose of causing us to being able to survive and to reproduce, then it would make sense that there would be a survival variable in the equation of masculinity and a reproductive variable in the equation.”

46

The reproductive variable is your skill with women and the

Those same ancient, primitive instincts are still in us today.

survival variable for men, specifically men, happens to have

So, if you lose your job as a middle manager, even though

everything to do with your career.

you're not going to die from that, it feels like you could; even though that's irrational.

How is your career going? What I mean by that is have you ever lost a job and it was kind of a sucky job; you really

That's what we're addressing in these career areas. That's

didn't like it so much, so in a logical sense it's good

why career is included as a core, core area of being a man

that you're gone - that you left that job?

because it literally is the only thing you really control in life.

But, because you got "fired" and suddenly didn't have

We don't control women. They are unique individuals. We

income, even though you're perfectly capable of getting

can appeal to them and attract them, but we don't control

another job in short order, you temporarily felt crazy - like

them. But we most certainly control what we want to be

your life was threatened somehow.

when we grow up, or what we're driving for in our careers.

Even though that is illogical, isn't really what's happening, it

Our careers make us feel alive.

"felt" that way. It felt so threatening. Or somebody tarnishes your reputation at work and you just feel completely

Divide career out into the three areas of the mind and you

threatened. That's because our careers, as men, are the way

now have:

we feel most vital and viable, if you will; survivability, so to speak. Finding and Following Your Mission as a Man; followed by... Taken all the way back to ancient times, if a man had a career as a hunter, for example, and suddenly broke an arm and

How to Build Teams and Master Politics - very necessary for

couldn't hunt, he literally might die. What if he was – I'm

your career; and then finally...

not even talking about antibiotics and orthopedic surgery here. If for some reason a man lost his ability to do his "job",

How to Lead, Strategize and Manage Problems, also very

which is to hunt, he would die.

necessary for your career. 47

With these three subjects, take our three core courses: the Mature Masculine Power Program, the KWML Mastery Program, and the MindOS Mastery Program, and apply them to the area of career, the foundational core area of a man's life.

48


Finding Your “Mission as a Man” YOUR MISSION, IF YOU ACCEPT IT 1. Is something you are naturally “good enough” to grow at and learn even more about

YOUR MISSION: Finding and following your “mission” as a man; why do I use the word mission?

2. Is something that you just plain like and enjoy

And why do I never use that word in referring to women's careers?

3. Is something that must benefit society if it is to be successful

Think about the gender difference, the difference between

4. Will never let you down, and can always be counted upon

masculinity and femininity. Men all have a sense of a mission that they are on at any given time.


Your mission - your temporary mission - might be you are trying to get to a party on time, or it might be you are trying to put something new on your car. You are on a mission to solve the problem. Or you are on a mission alongside your favorite sports team. You want to see them win. You feel like you're on the same mission as your team. This word mission is unique to us as men because of our masculine instincts.

49

If we go back to ancient, primitive times once again, and

With the Mature Masculine Power Program we really

consider that men out on the hunt most certainly had a

heavily cover masculinity - yes in the area of attracting

group mission and they had to accomplish that mission - food -

women, but even more so in the areas of:

or die. · How can I be a man in the workplace and what is my We are very goal directed in our instincts. I use that word

mission in life?

"mission" to be something much bigger than just a job, or even a career. It's like a raison d'être; it's your reason for existence, or preserves your existence. It's what you are put on earth to do, that has more to do with life than just finding

· How can I figure out what that is and start executing on it; moving toward it?

a great relationship or marriage or even having children. It's what makes you unique. It’s what makes you feel alive, “viable,” vital, passionate, and “on fire” as a man. Everybody can have a relationship. Everybody can have children, but what makes you unique and different as a man has everything to do with expressing itself in your career. We've all had jobs, a job; but our jobs, many of them or most of them; don't feel like a mission for our lives. It's not what we were put on earth to do.

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Building Teams and Leadership YOU CAN’T GO IT ALONE 1. You have to have a team of men to succeed at your mission in life

BUILDING TEAMS:

2. You will have to be a leader, like it or not

The second area: How to Build Teams and Master Politics. That's KWML Mastery.

3. Your team will need to have their personal missions align with your own

Building teams, composing teams, deciding who to befriend in the workplace,

4. And all individual missions will have to line up with the company in general

who makes a great business partner, has everything to do with choosing someone whose personality is opposite your own. In fact, the perfect team in the workplace or in building a business is composed


of a king, a warrior, a magician and a lover, because combined; they can solve any problem together. They have the complete set of skills as a team to solve any problem. Building teams and mastering politics has a lot to do with understanding people's personality styles. That's why KWML can be applied to your career in that way.

51

LEADERSHIP: ! Lastly, leadership has everything to do with your maturity level as a man. Strategizing and Managing Problems - that all has to do with your intellectual ability and character ability, maturity level, to be able to be a leader and manage and solve problems. That's MindOS Mastery. We've got two more general areas to apply masculine intelligence to. One is Skills at Being a Man, feeling like a man, operating like a man; and Skills at Personal Growth and Evolution. I'm going to cover these last two general areas of a man's life and how to apply masculine intelligence to them.

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Chapter 9

Skills at Beating Fear

Defeating fear for all men must be mastered. The answer is courage, as covered in the Anxiety Map of the MindOS Program. In the process of “initiation” as a man, when you beat the fear of death, there is nothing else to fear... Click for Deeper Study


Courage is the Cure DO WHAT IS RIGHT... 1. ...even if afraid, or it’s difficult or uncomfortable. This is courage, the cure for fear.

SKILLS AT BEATING FEAR:

2. Knowing what is right comes from your sense of ethics and intuition.

to we're just talking about women or we're just talking about

3. These can only be gained through trial and error in making moral decisions

sense of feeling passionate for life itself, feeling good about

Skills at Being a Man - what do I mean by that as opposed career. I'm talking about more of a deep sense of identity, a who you are as a man. Skills at being a man – Our first course that we talk about is actually an ebook called Attack Anxiety.


The reason we include that in this category of being a man is because in most cases our first roadblock to any growth or improvement in our lives is beating fear. Fear stops us cold. It stops us not only from solving problems we face but from even learning. We can't learn when we're in the anxiety state. So we've got to get fear or anxiety out of the way quickly and first; and courage is the cure for fear. In that Program and in the MindOS Mastery Program, when I cover a thing called the "anxiety map" I show you how 54

courage is the cure for all anxieties and how courage isn't something you have to go find or buy or borrow. It's as simple as deciding to do what's right, even though you're terrified, or even though you feel bad, or even though you feel depressed. If you just do the right thing, you are being courageous. You can be both terrified and courageous at the same time. For example, like a solder at war. One of our new bloggers was actually with Special Forces in the US Military, very interesting guy; you'll hear from him at some point and see his blogs and posts in the Forum. In the military, if you're at war, you can be both terrified, while you're in a battle, but still do courageous acts. You've got to learn this as a man. It's something that is unique to men. It's a unique experience of having to find courage – well, use the courage that you already have the ability to use; which is simply doing the right thing no matter how bad it feels to do.

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Alpha Males Have No Fear THE SECOND METHOD 1. When you know your “rank” in a society, it also relieves fear

ALPHA-MALE INSTINCTS:

2. Being “alpha-male” or as dominant in a group, leading it, also makes you immune to anxiety and fear

Courage was the first thing to learn about anxiety and fear - it’s ultimately the cure.

3. You have action in your favor, and action alleviates fear


But there are other things specific to being a man which alleviate fear. Women can have courage too, so courage is not specific to men. Being alpha-male is. It’s another thing that makes you a man, feeling like a man without fear how do you use your "alpha male" instincts. We hear a lot these days about it's good to be an alpha male. Everyone wants to be the alpha male. There can be only one alpha male, right? But what a lot of people don't talk about is how in animal populations when there is, say, an alpha male gorilla; how long do they get to be the alpha male? Sometimes it's just for a day, and then a bigger gorilla comes along; or a week or month at most.

56

This notion of trying to be an alpha male in the most, sort of unsophisticated sense of the phrase, is not too useful for your life. When you hear programs about "be the alpha male in dating, blah, blah, blah"; not so useful because there's going to be another bigger gorilla who's going to come along and knock you off your pedestal in short order. What's more useful is to know what masculine instinct is, how to use it in the right ways at the right times. Which of the tools in your tool belt, so to speak, are useful at the current moment at the current scenario and do so with maturity? Maturity is what makes you durable instead of just a temporary alpha male leader. Maturity is what sees you through to the end, makes you durable as a man. That's why the Mature Masculine Power Program is called that. I don't want you to just be a temporary alpha male. I want you to have a lifetime of solid leadership and, sometimes, dominance over groups of people. They respect you for your maturity, not just your brutal, primitive masculinity. That's Mature Masculine Power.

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Charisma Has No Fear THE THIRD METHOD 1. Fear cannot coexist with happiness and passion

SKILLS AT HAVING CHARISMA:

2. Men with charisma cannot feel fear while being charismatic

How to Build Social Circles and Charisma; you know a

3. Therefore, if your charisma is directed toward building teams and accomplishing your mission, you have no fear, AND you are putting your fear to constructive use

second part of feeling good as a man does have to do with how networked we are, how connected we are both to other men and to women, to people in general as friends. The thing that gets us friends; there's a principle underneath this button really is the KWML Mastery Program, which is not


just about personality styles, it's also about what is friendship? What is love? And even, what is value? What is it to be valued in a group? What makes us valuable? Literally what makes us valuable in a group is the degree to which we make other people feel happy; the degree to which we raise other people's self-esteem level. That's how valued we are. Making friendships, building your social networks, even applying this over into the career category: networking for your career, has everything to do with how happy can you make other people. 58

· A magician needs to be given an audience to clap for How much of a raise or a bump in their self-esteem can you

them; they like to perform.

give them? Whatever degree that is, is how valued you will be to that group or to those clients or to your sports team.

· And a lover needs to be valued for their story-telling ability, and for their kindness. They need to be

If you want to be the captain of the team, the most valuable player, he's the one that makes most of the team the

appreciated in that way.

happiest; whether it's through winning or through skill or just how he conducts himself as a friend. Notice sometimes when we see big sports leagues, there's the most valuable player. He's not necessarily the exact,

If you can do these things for these four personality styles, then you will be more and more and more valued by that person or group, and obviously that's good for your life.

more skilled player. He has teamwork ability, and charisma. So how to have more charisma and build bigger social circles; KWML guides that. If you know people's personality style, then you know exactly what makes them feel happy, makes them feel fulfilled, and raises their self-esteem level. · If you know how to conduct yourself with a King; he needs to be an expert. · A Warrior needs to be honored for their accomplishments and their power.

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Chapter 10

Be Master of Your Own Destiny

A man is self-determining. His character produces his success, fulfillment and the details of his life story, but his masculinity is like the power source for all that. To be master of your own destiny you have to turn your “fuel” - your masculinity - toward growing mature character... Click for Deeper Study


Character Is Destiny FATE VS DESTINY 1. Fate you have no control over. It is not masculine, and there is nothing you can do about bad luck

BE MASTER OF YOUR OWN DESTINY:

2. Destiny is determined by your character maturity, among the features of which is your quality of decisions, your boundaries, and self-awareness, called “Observing Ego”

under the Skills at Being a Man category. We're applying

3. Know what to call “luck” and what to see as an opportunity for character growth

Lastly, How to Be Master of Your Own Destiny; this is again masculine intelligence to this. You hear a lot of talk about this word: destiny. A lot of self- help, marketytype people out there like using that word destiny. They like using the word passion. But they most often use those words in very, so vague, ways that it's not practical. We want to know "how to": how to get a girlfriend, how to keep my job. I want to know exactly, how do I do it? Like


an instruction manual. And then I want to be taught how to execute on that. If you could demonstrate, that would be all the better. Our destiny, scientifically, the closest thing to that would be reaching our highest potential as men. I have a quote for you, that's immensely useful and very true. It comes from a philosopher named Heraclitus and was later quoted by Freud often. 61

Instead of just motivational, woo woo, cheerleading kind of "Character is destiny."

training programs. It's very analytical and accurate. If you worked on your boundaries, and you worked on your ethics,

Character is destiny, and that is a major subject of the

and you worked on your shrewdness, and you worked on

MindOS Mastery Program where we learn about general

your self-esteem, your well-being and your confidence, you

personal growth, maturity, and character.

worked on your education and you worked on your life's experience and you had this thing wrapped around it all –

The reason character is destiny is because for you to reach

the only technical phrase I really use is called "observing ego".

your highest potential as a man means that you are reaching the highest maturity you can reach. · Higher maturity means stronger boundaries, which makes you more durable and diplomatic; higher selfesteem, which makes you more loved and valued by others, and gives you the most wisdom in your decisions. · Wise decisions mean you are almost always right with your decisions, as far as what's going to give you a successful outcome. So if you want to truly grow toward your highest destiny, then you would want to grow as mature as you can grow. That is science-based. That's masculine intelligence, to see it that way.

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Skills at Self-Guidance HOW TO FATHER YOURSELF 1. Every time you do courage, you are fathering yourself emotionally

SKILLS AT SELF-GUIDANCE:

2. When you use Observing Ego, you are fathering yourself intellectually and through character growth that you, yourself produce

What "observing ego" means is: the ability to self-monitor and self-

3. Self-guidance starts as loneliness in the same way that courage is lonely... 4. ...but with time, everyone wants to join you


correct and be your own best friend, your own mentor as you're living life. You have Self-Guidance. It's similar to being mindful, to the Buddhists, or being self-aware and sentient; asking yourself questions. It's like selftalk where you ask yourself questions such as: How am I doing with my life right now? How am I doing with this woman? Is she attracted to me right now, or not, and why? It's asking yourself questions in real time as you live your life. That's "observing ego". Without that skill, you can't grow. "Observing ego" is the prime course skill of any personal growth. You will not grow or improve as a man without "observing ego" ability. And if you get it, and cultivate it and use it, then you grow. You become more mature. You become of higher character and 63

therefore you are closer to getting your destiny, your highest potential as a man; because of all these working parts of your

It covers literally every possibility of a man's life in great

psyche, or your maturity.

detail with exact examples from where we work together to solve problems. It's very rich story telling. That's Total

When we don't use "observing ego", that's when our

Men's Solutions.

reptilian brain takes over. That's how it works. That's when we act out. That's when we make a silly mistake, we say

Beneath that, Growing Strength, Respect, and Boundaries;

something we regret. It's the source of any regrets. If you've

that's clearly MindOS Mastery where we learn all about

ever had any regrets in your life, they were caused by an

boundaries.

absence of "observing ego" skill at that time. And if you cultivate more of it, guess what? You have less regrets in

How important would it be to develop the ability to have

life. You win. That's how to master your own destiny.

constant protection from stress to retain all of your resources

MindOS Mastery addresses this.

and use them in just the right ways at just the right times?

That's using masculine intelligence in that area of reaching

That's all boundary related. Your boundary is your budgeter

your destiny, your highest potential.

of your resources, and your resources as a man need to be mainly steered toward your career growth.

The last general area of the man's life is General Personal Growth and Your Evolution. For these, we have some very

Why?

rich choices in programs. Because your career growth is your core sense of vitality and There are six of them.

viability, the survival variable that Freud and Darwin would've talked about. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries

Total Men's Solutions: the program is called the Instant

are what preserve your resources as a man; whether your

Teleseminar Download. It's over 40 hours of live coaching,

money, your time, your energy. Your resources matter.

just like we're doing here: teleseminars from a whole year's

MindOS Mastery helps with that.

teleseminars. 64

Courage and Confidence - certainly the roadblock to even

That's really derogatory and men need to be honored again.

starting. Depresculinity addresses that and gives you tools for fixing that. Defeat "Depresculinity". This is our newest program. Depresculinity. We wanted to address something much

Down beneath that: Superhero Masculinity. I wanted to go

more widespread than just plain old sadness or depression.

the extra mile with what are masculine instincts and how do

We wanted to address something that we think is really

they work? We completely cover that in the Mature

exponentially on the rise in Western culture; that has to do

Masculine Power Program.

with how men are viewed in society in the past couple of decades for three decades.

The way we do that in that program is we use the ancient Greek Gods as sort of key codes for understanding each little

And how they are starting to view themselves and how you

circuit of what we call masculine instinct.

can go to work and do your day job and even have a relationship, but still never feel totally on top of the world,

If you learn stories about Zeus or Cupid or Eros or

feel great as a man in who you are. That's what we're

Prometheus or Odysseus or Hades or Mercury or Hermes,

referring to by Depresculinity.

you're learning about the little sub-categories of masculine instinct; when you learn about each of those mythologic Gods.

Chances are if you are a man living today, you have felt this feeling at least briefly, called depresculinity. There is a

The stories are designed to teach us how do I use my

specific way of solving it that is not the same as getting over

communication ability, that's Mercury; how do I use my

some sadness or depression.

leadership ability, that's Zeus; how do I manage my resources well, that's Poseidon.

It's very specific to men, to how men get better from this feeling of depresculinity. It gives you a lot of tools for dealing

By learning those stories, it explains to you, as it has for

with today's society and how men are seen; how they're

thousands of years what the solutions are for you as a man,

often depicted as "bad", just because they're male. Or that men

uniquely a man. Not for women, just for men. So Mature

are so silly watching their silly sports events.

Masculine Power addresses that, using ancient Greek Gods. 65

you translate them to your everyday life. You'll be out in the SUPERHERO MASCULINITY:

world doing your dating or being in a career and all of sudden Spiderman will pop to mind, or Batman will pop to

But, I realized in looking at these ancient mythologies that

mind and to women that would seem silly. To other people

there's actually modern mythology too. It's called:

who don't know about this kind of technology it might seem silly.

Superhero comics. Superheroes – Ironman, Batman, Superman, Spiderman are really today's equivalent of

But for your purposes, it's very useful and practical and science-

these ancient mythologic stories; the ancient Greek Gods. So

based to use some of these stories to help give you

I added this new program that is a perfect companion to

guidance and advice on solving problems.

Mature Masculine Power Program called Superhero Masculinity. It views masculinity almost like a superheroes' tool belt with

BROTHERS:

utilities in it. When you learn about Spiderman, you find out how to use your intellect to really man up and feel vital

Then lastly, we do have a program called Brothers. It's

as a man. When you learn about Superman, you might learn

brotherly advice. Some of the most difficult problems men face –

about his fortress of solitude and the masculine instinct to

You may have noticed in your life that sometimes you

find privacy and a workshop or garage or special place that

feel like you can't go to your dad, your father about certain

only you know about where you feel like you feel up on life

kinds of problems. They are personal in a unique way and

again; spending alone time. That's actually the Hades

sometimes they are so uniquely male you wouldn't go to,

instinct from the Mature Masculine Power Program.

say, a female therapist about them, or a sister or a mother.

Superman has that Hades instinct today, in his fortress of

But the notion of having a brother is someone who is of your

solitude.

same generation who gets you, understands you and maybe has some advice to offer. Like an older brother. So we made

You can use the superheroes just like you can use the ancient

a program on the most touchy subjects that men face today

Greek Gods as a Rosetta stone, a secret code, to figure out

called Brothers.

what are the working parts of your masculinity and then 66

We of course have a general, your exterior, how to ramp up your success through your looks and your lifestyle. Setting up a bachelor pad and cultivating a sense of clothing and fashion and grooming as a last physical category for you to learn about to really round it out as a man. One of our coach staff members, Josh, really knocked it out of the park with these programs. They are like nothing else out there that you would find even in men's fashion magazines. They are fantastic. Those are all of our programs and those are how to apply this notion of masculine intelligence to the major areas of a man's life and getting solutions.

67

Chapter 11

Men’s Questions and Answers

Men often don’t turn to each other for answers directly. The only acceptable way is in which we approach men of higher rank, whom we know have our best interests in mind, and are on the same team mission You will need mentors. This is your chance... Click for Deeper Study


Self-Defeat DEPRESCULINITY AND SELF-DEFEAT 1. Depresculinity is a diminishment of BOTH your Masculinity AND your Self-esteem 2. It may carry “self-defeating behavior” in it 3. The cure is to work on BOTH your Masculinity and your mood CLICK FOR DEEPER INSTRUCTION

Let’s get into real, personal questions and answers. These are submitted from all over the world. You can feel free to chime in and we can discuss these. Keep in mind this notion of there being a science to being a man and that we ultimately want to cultivate masculine intelligence in what we do; something with specifically male sensibility and understanding of our own instincts. Question: Tommy from Santa Anna, CA says: "Hey Dr. Paul, I feel that my depresculinity is triggered by a lack of success in my career. I'm always procrastinating what I know I must do, but this selfdefeating behavior seems to dominate over me. How can I overcome this behavior? I appreciate all that you do for us as men and I'm a huge admirer of your work. Thank you." Dr. Paul: Thank you back. He uses the word Depresculinity, which is a word I've coined to describe the modern state of men not feeling great about their lives, or on top of the world, or vital in more of a societal way. Men are not honored today for 69

just being men and for the role that they take in society. A

small advances along the way. One of the specific

problem of the last two or three decades that has escalated

techniques I like giving guys in the Mature Masculine Power

and has deep impact on your personal life. He doesn't feel

Program, which has everything to do with career, is the idea

good about his career and he says he's always

of "enjoy the future now." It helps to get rid of some of the

procrastinating and this is a self-defeating behavior. How

perfectionism that makes you feel down and blah when you

can I overcome this behavior?

look around at what's going on in your life right now. And you're nowhere near your ultimate dream yet.

One thing for a guy to look out for in this kind of dilemma or problem is perfectionism. What do I mean by that? Some

Enjoy the future now.

of the time that a guy feels not so great about a major area of life, whether it's women or work, is that he has a view in his

It's a way of using your imagination but in an educated guess

mind of an ideal and it's good that we do this, that we

way that if you started working toward a career shift to

dream, that we set really lofty goals because it gifts us a

a new field, or you're going to start school in the fall,

"north star" to steer toward; our ship.

or you've left the job and you're considering changing cities.

It gives us a measuring point that is our ultimate dream. But

Look forward to the possibilities for the future and enjoy

we get into a problem when we "don't enjoy the journey

them now, so that you feel better now. That will help take

along the way."

away part of the emotional part of that depresculinity state that you're in.

That has everything to do with boundaries. A specific way to fix perfectionism as a cause of not really enjoying your

Now, another thing that we have here is, you are clearly

career or doing well at; it has to do with unreasonable

saying: "I procrastinate." Obviously that's the probably the

standards like idealistic standards for your career. It has to

major thing you're going to have to fix. You have already

do with growing better boundaries.

identified it and you know it exists. Then he says: "This selfdefeating behavior dominates over me." I thought a lot

So you would work on your boundaries and you would

about this phrase: self-defeating.

work on giving yourself more of a pat on the back for the 70

What comes in my mind about that and makes me wonder

Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you just

about it is that in some of my biology training when I was

don't like it? And that if you don't like it, it can't

much younger, they would talk about how amazing the

be a career mission.

brain is as an organ and how it's evolved to be so accurate and so much of a champion of our survival and our welfare

So you're off your mission as a man, and that if you found

that almost everything it does is to benefit us.

the right thing to do, you probably wouldn't procrastinate.You'd b e motivated. You would show up on time, every time.

Not to defeat us. So get rid of the negative label of "self-defeating" and So I actually started to question the idea of self-defeating as

say: "Well, clearly my brain is trying to help me by making

a phrase. You know, a lot of therapists use that phrase: self-

me procrastinate." What does that tell me about me? And

defeating behavior.

what does that tell me about my day job? "Oh, must be the wrong one for me." I would think of it that way.

How is it possible for self-defeating behavior to even exist if our own brains are these perfect machines that always are trying to act on our behalf and make things good for us? Maybe don't use the phrase: self- defeating. Maybe wonder why your brain is trying to help you by procrastinating. It's trying to do something good for you, in your favor. Obviously, the first thing that pops to mind is any of us would procrastinate in a job we don't like. So whatever it is you're spending your time on now – 71


Immediate Gratification SLOW DOWN 1. Immediate gratification is childish 2. Delayed gratification is not

QUESTION: "I have been wondering about the natural drive for people to

3. The former always gets you into trouble, except when it is light and leisurely

seek immediate gratification or short cuts. I see myself when

4. The latter always serves you, except when you don’t plan - when you are “tilting at windmills” like Don Quixote

realize the importance of striving to make long term


sometimes see myself 'fall back' into not so mature ways of

I was younger as doing the same, probably natural. Now I persistent work and in general not desire quick fixes. Do you have any advice on how to really sink this concept in? I doing things and going for the quick fix in life." Dr. Paul: Some of you who have been around a long time with what we do are familiar with me. You know, pooh-poohing the marketers out there who sell quick fixes. It's really catering to people's instinct to want to be provided to and efficiently in the shortest possible way: Get rich quick or personal growth quick; instant everything. Even with technology –

72

Technology is great for us because it speeds our way to a

We have a right to pursue it, which is in and of itself, pretty

desired goal, and it shortens the length of time it takes to get

enjoyable; because, remember, you can enjoy the future now.

there. But there is no such thing as instantaneous and free

Pursuing happiness is what it's all about.

growth success or happiness. You have to be worked on. So when you're talking about troubles with instant One of the interesting things that happened to me two years

gratification and how do I get the value of long term effort to

ago, 4th of July, American independence day. I physically

sink in? I would go back to that idea of the pursuit of

ran into a man named Chris Gardner, a giant of a man;

happiness is a God-given right, built into all human beings.

seemed seven feet tall.

You have the right to pursue it, and that in and of itself, is manly and masculine. To be on a mission; to be in pursuit of

He was giving money to a homeless person on the street

what you want. Enjoying the future now is a major part of

with his day. I recognized him, and I said: "Chris."

getting yourself to commit to long term things that take effort and patience.

He goes, "Yes?" Boundaries are the other part of it; working on boundaries. And I said: "I'm Dr. Paul. I really like your story, your life story."

If you want to really dive deep into getting this specific problem solved you would go learn tons about boundaries

His story was depicted in the film: The Pursuit of

in the Mind OS Mastery Program and you would specifically

Happiness, starring Will Smith. One of the things they cover

go also to the Anger Map and Anxiety Map, especially the

in that movie is – Build into, I believe the Declaration of

Anger Map.

Independence for Americans. If you compare the upper right part of the Anger Map to They talk about the pursuit of happiness is a right that we have,

your question, you'll see the answer. The upper right arrow

like a built in God-given right; the pursuit of happiness.

on both of those maps is the destructive choice for that

And in that film, and Chris Gardner himself, he really makes

emotion. And anything that is destructive also carries along

this point - drives it home - that happiness isn't what it said.

with it poor boundaries and impatience, or impulsiveness.

We don't have a "right" to happiness. 73

Part of getting over procrastination difficulty, or in this case going after quick fixes in life involves recognizing that whatever is quick is probably destructive. Whatever is slow, patient, and long labored upon usually is constructive. That's always the right choice. You use "observing ego" to put the spotlight on all of the above and you're good. You stay aware of the value of long term effort by using "observing ego". Reminding yourself of its value.

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Curiosity and Intelligence CURIOSITY AND INTELLIGENCE 1. You cannot learn or grow without curiosity, regardless of intelligence

QUESTION:

2. Pure IQ does not lead to success - practice does

“Curious” is the name of this guy.

3. But Masculine Intelligence is knowing how your brain as a man works. It doesn’t take a high IQ 4. It’s all about doing the right things as a man CLICK FOR DEEPER INSTRUCTION

“Curious” says: "Hey Dr. Paul. How do you think the globalization is affecting people's relationships? Is it becoming more and more common for people to date and marry outside their own country and culture, or otherwise not follow tradition? Do you think this causes more conflict within relationships or can it be a source of strength? It is often heard that elderly people say it is wise to marry within your own country, culture, and social status. I understand the wisdom behind this, but also at the same time, wonder if it makes life too rigid, too much of a pattern to follow; instead of being brave, passionate, and striving to discover your own path, your own desires and your own life. Thanks a lot."

75

Dr. Paul:

We need in-person contact because of those primitive instincts in us that are still there, even after hundreds of

Yes, so he's commenting on our mobility: transportation,

thousands of years.

communication, really technology. My answer is that all technologies have an upside and a downside. They can be

What happens because of this? Probably more cheating,

used for good or bad. They bring new challenges, but they

more break ups of relationships, caused by temptation and

bring new advantage. We keep evolving through new

poor communication. That's what I think. There's a good

technology. We have the Stone Age, the Bronze Age, the Iron

side and a bad side.

Age, etc. New technologies always come along, and they always have an upside and a downside.

Question: Andy, all the way from Helsinki, Finland. "Hi again Dr. Paul. I really enjoyed last week's teleseminar. Thanks. It got

I think the idea of relationship and international travel – The

me thinking about the idea of being limitless."

upside to them that for us to fit in to our culture; you could say that culture is becoming world culture now. It's not

Dr. Paul:

provincial. We all need to fit into the greater society we live and love in. If all of culture is becoming more global, then

Yes. We've been talking for two months about men's films;

we are staying right in tune and right with the beat of the

films that are educational for men about their specific

music to also be global in our relationships and in how we

instincts and growth. So, Limitless, with and actor named

do business. We fit in, if that becomes the cultural norm.

Bradley Cooper, is what we covered last week.

The downside of globalization on relationships probably has

Question: He says: "I think it's common in society today to want

something to do with diminished in-person contact with

everything and to think that it's realistic to get everything, be

each other. Remember we're evolved over hundreds of

limitless, to be in great shape or handsome or successful,

thousands of millions of years. We are not evolved for

have a lot of women, be confident, perfect family, perfect

electronic communication throughout our relationships.

husband, perfect wife, and perfect sex. I've always sensed that there is something wrong with this. It never really felt 76

right and last week's teleseminar put it nicely in perspective. Thanks. I now think I understand fairly well that it ismature and wi

He found out that genius talent doesn't matter.

se to give your energy in some area of life persistently and long term.

What he found is that it's all centered on your question. It's centered on discipline and commitment over time. That is

Do you have any tips on how to

the singular thing that makes people successful.

learn to kind of block the have to get everything now, right now, marketing mentality in today's society and remember

In fact, he describes it as if you are just barely good enough

to focus on a couple of key areas of life persistently and long

to do a task like play the violin, or be an accountant, or be an

term and maintain focus on these and not get distracted by

athlete. If you are just barely good enough to do it, meaning

the sexy promise of getting it all in today's society?"

you won't totally screw it up every time otherwise you shouldn't be in that field.

Dr. Paul: If you are barely good enough and then you add 10,000 Yes, I have a couple of things for you: one from MindOS

hours of practice which usually takes people about 10 years

Mastery and one from the Mature Masculine Power

to accomplish. 10,000 hours of practice at whatever the task

Program. You know, there are also two resources that I'd like

is, whether it's a violin or accounting or sports; that after

to send you to: one is the author Malcolm Gladwell.

10,000 hours you have reached not just good status, but world class ability at that task. That's stunning. That is

He has really remarkable books that are journalistic and they

exactly that answer to your question.

are about some unique things about our culture. His most recent book is called Outliers. He is taking about success,

10,000 hours of discipline or practice at something equals

successful people. What makes successful people? He

world class mastery. That's amazing to know. It doesn't

found something stunning in the research.

have to do with IQ or height or looks, and it is unfortunately for all of us, not a quick fix. It's 10,000 hours. That's your

He found out that IQ doesn't matter.

answer. If you want to be world class, you've got to do something for 10,000 hours. That's Malcolm Gladwell's answer. 77


Patience, Persistence, and Passion THE THREE P’S 1. Patience - good things come to those who wait (and aren’t impulsive)

Another resource I'll direct you to is actually an old Hollywood maxim about success as well.

2. Persistence - never give up, and you make it through the “dips of life” - the Wastelands

It's called The Three Ps.

3. Passion - you have to love what you do, and do what you love

The old time producers, when asked how does somebody "make it" in Hollywood; make it as a movie star, become


famous? They say there is no such thing as "getting discovered." You won't "get discovered." You've got to have the three Ps instead. The three Ps are: · patience · persistence · and passion. Patience, persistence, and passion are the three Ps. Notice, none of those are about IQ.

78

None of those are about coming from wealth or being highborn.

This is another thing that you can promise yourself and enjoy the future now about the notion that all you've got to

None of those have anything to do with deficits of some sort

do is persist at something you want to do or that you want

or a handicap.

to be. Be patient about it as you are doing the practice, the activity. And make sure that it is something you are

Having patience, persistence, and passion; all three are

passionate about to begin with. That you feel alive just

purely psychological and don't even grant favored status to

because of practicing at it.

a particular kind of personality style in a guy. If you love the violin or you love to sing or you love to write Patience is a mature feature of your character.

or you love working with numbers or you like working with your hands and doing mechanics on cars; whatever it is, you

Persistence is a mature feature of your character.

just love doing it, imperfectly. You're golden if you just look to the long term and keep doing it.

And passion, we center that in the reptilian brain. Passion is exactly the same as how masculine are you? The more masculine you are, the more passion you feel, whether for women or for life. The more masculine you are, the more passionate you feel. It is the other antidote to Depresculinity, by the way, is discovering how to feel more passion by way of working on specific skills of masculinity. So patience, persistence, and passion is the way to get to be a star, which means once again the most central feature is time; having a mind for the long term, not the quick fix, short term. 79


Bullying and Courtesy JUST SAY NO 1. Bullies are “narcissists” - which is the same as being “childish”

QUESTION:

2. Anti-bullying measures involve using boundaries to say NO to what isn’t right for you

We have “Gio,” G-I O, from New York:

3. It also involves ethics and empathy - being able to take care of yourself and recognize that bullies are weak people themselves

however, I sense that when I enter a room or interact, I get

"When I go out, I usually interact well with females; sneers from men. This throws me off. I've either stared back or tried to ignore it. Sometimes I just look straight back at them. 90 percent of the time they look away. Sometimes it


escalates to an argument or a fight. Nonetheless, it affects the interaction with women as they are turned off by this. It also bothers me because I like to get along with people. When I ignore it, it leaves me feeling irritated and affects my selfesteem. Is this normal man behavior that I need to get used to? How should I compete back with other men to maintain our self-esteem? I don't fear the physical fight. I fear the social disharmony, legal repercussions, and the stigma." Dr. Paul: Wow. That's a good one. Well, I think what you're asking is what are the various combinations or variables that cause 80

you to be perceived especially by other men in the way that

rank is, then you know what you want to work toward.

you do.

Then you feel great, because you are enjoying the future now, you're working toward something.

The first thing that popped to mind as a tip is that a lot of guys that don't get along with other guys can really get hurt

The other part of this is from KWML Mastery; the concept of

in their self-esteem because they think that because they are

what is the difference between love and like? What makes

not liked by the other guys that it must mean that they are

people like us as opposed to love us? What are the differences?

inferior somehow; inferior in rank or ability or skill or masculinity itself. Don't succumb to that potential mistake

In this program, KWML Mastery, I define love as boosting

because other men may dislike you because they see you as

each other's level of self-esteem, which is the same as

better than them, that they're judging you with incomplete

boosting each other's happiness level. The ability to make

information about you and considering themselves "less

each other happy is one in the same as love or friendship.

than" you.

But what if we weren't talking about something that deep or that emotional? Not something to the level of actual

That might be why they don't like you. So first off, don't let

friendship, maybe more of acquaintances we're talking

it harm your self-esteem because of that. Secondly, this is a

about; first impressions with people. That's more what

principle – That first one was from Mature Masculine Power

you're dealing with.

because it's about male instincts, we need to size ourselves up against other men to know who we are. We've got to be

Then we'd have to talk about the word: like. The word like

somewhere in a rank, somewhere in a hierarchy to know

is different from the word love because we like each other,

who we are. Even if it's low on the totem pole we actually

we're willing to tolerate each other and be in the same space

feel more comfortable and less anxious just knowing where

as each other because we like each other for one of two

we fit, where we fit in.

reasons. We like those who like us and we like those who are like us. It's a saying I use in the KWML Mastery.

Isn't that interesting, that you could be low on the totem pole, low in rank, but feel good just because you know

We like those who like us and we like those who are like us.

where your rank is? And because you know where your 81

These two ways of being liked are the same being valued or

Now underneath all of that, we've talked about MindOS

tolerated or accepted and are more intellectual than emotional.

Mastery, KWML Mastery, let's talk a little bit about the Mature Masculine Power Program.

We have a reciprocity with each other that's built into us. If somebody is good to you, even if they have complete

Male instinct is competitive, needs to find out where it ranks

difference from you in terms of lifestyle, personality, and all

among other men. We have to accept that that exists. In

the rest, we still have a need to be good back to them. It is

other words, when you're looking for women to meet and

built into us to be reciprocal. If you want other guys to like

date, you are in competition with other men, period. You

you more, tolerate you more, get less into conflict with you,

can't pretend it away. You can't hide your eyes from it and

then find a way to let them know you approve of them.

hope that it vanishes. It's there, it's always there, it's

Greet other men with a: "What's up?", or a hand shake. Be

happening, and it's real. Get used to it. We compete with

friendly to make friends. Be friendly to be liked back. We

other men.

like those who like us. We do have a choice, that we opened the first question with, The other way that we like each other, that we like

which is we can compete like gentlemen or we can play

acquaintances is if we, on first impress, detect similarity in

dirty. You can choose to compete like a gentleman and be

who we are. Is there something about you that: you dress

courteous to other men, even though you are competing for

differently, you look differently, or you behave differently

the women. If they won't play fair, then you need to extract

than the other men you encounter. Maybe you don't live in

the woman from the situation. Pull them aside and have a

the best city for you, where you fit in the best, have similar

private conversation; private flirting. Or find a different

life style to the other men, similar appearance and behavior.

venue where there are more diplomatic men and still hot women.

The way to be liked more, the other way, is to be similar to other people. Comment on the fun they're having or the behavior they're doing or the clothing they wear. Say, "Oh, yeah, I got that too. I'm like you." Those are the two leverage points for you to get more harmony out of these run-ins. 82


Reptiles at Work YOUR INSTINCT AND PERSONALITY AT WORK

Question: “Eric” from Italy says, "Hey Dr. Paul, I've got a question.

1. Reptilian instincts (Masculinity) in the workplace is written about by philosopher, Machiavelli

should we use the reptilian brain or masculine instinct in the

2. Personality is different from masculine instincts - women have personality styles too

workers who rudely compete with each other?"

3. Master both, add character, and you are master of the workplace

decode it here for myself. Are you asking is it okay to let

4. Guys who are ONLY “reptilian” in the workplace, get ahead briefly, but are brought down in the end

people really, really rudely compete with each other? Yes. In

work place, especially a kind of work place where there is not a chief around where there are a bunch of people of co-

Dr. Paul: I'm not exactly sure what you are asking. I'm trying to these primitive instincts be used in the work place when fact, it is happening whether you like it or not, including your participation in it. Why? Because the reptilian brain is the unconscious and the unconscious is therefore not in your


awareness. It's happening without you knowing it's happening, no matter what you do. Step one is, get used to that idea. Step two is, start to learn about your masculine instincts and how they work.

83

There is a specific philosopher that you've heard of, that you

Question: “STL Quagmire.” (Do you think that means St. Louis,

ought to read up on: Machiavelli. Machiavelli was out to do

possibly?) "Will this teleseminar be available for down load

something good in the world, believe it or not, even though

in the premium forms?"

he's demonized by the church as teaching evil, sneaky and underhanded business tactics. What he really was trying to

Dr. Paul: Yes. It will, if you go back to the same link at the On

do I think is just explain masculine instinct to people and

Demand Program where we field these questions all the

how to use it in career and in politics.

time. It also will be made into both an audio program for direct down load from our site, which

Learn about Machiavelli.

will all be free to you and other members.

Read books such as The Art of War, and you'll find out about

Question: “Daniel” in Berlin. "Hey Dr. Paul, I've read KWML. I

some of these reptilian brain, primitive instincts that are

am definitely left-brained but I cannot define myself. I am a

happening all the time, inevitably, outside of your

king or a warrior. I think I'm both. Is this possible? I was

awareness. Maybe it's also outside of your co-workers'

trying to be more right-brained, more magicianly, but I felt in

awareness. If you are aware and they're not, then even if

a dating situation I couldn't do it. How can I build skill for

they are more brute force people than you, you still have the

my right-brain?"

upper hand. Dr. Paul: Well, good. I'm glad you have the KWML – Imagine a circus lion tamer or handler of elephants for the

I think you read the KWML ebook, but do not

circus. Superior, more deadly animals, much larger animals

have the KWML Mastery Program on DVD and CD.

that could crush you or eat you, and yet the lion tamer can still manage the superior, deadly force creature.

There is a difference. The ebook is a starter book, an introduction book. The Mastery Program in KWML on disc

You can do the same in the workplace, even if they are

is very thorough and comprehensive, worlds beyond just

meaner, ruder, or tougher than you. Your awareness and

the ebook. It explains what I'm going to tell you right now.

their lack of it is the ultimate advantage. Mature Masculine Power Program. And read about Machiavelli. 84

A King and a Warrior are both left-brained people

improv comedy acting class definitely beefs up your right

intellectually. A Lover or a Magician are both right-brained

brain intellectual muscles.

people intellectually. Secondly, purposely traveling without plans; travel to a What he is saying he wants to do is become more well-

different country without prearranging your schedule.

rounded as a guy by cultivating more magician skill, if he is

Figure it out as you go. It will be challenging but enriching.

a king or warrior. That means he needs to grow more rightbrained intellectual muscle. There are two different routes to

The randomness of social environment choices; go to a

doing that. If you know you are a king or a warrior then you

neighborhood of town that is totally different from what you

could simply do some of the activities, skills, preferences,

are used to and find a place to socialize. It will be

traits, and lifestyle that magicians do.

challenging, fearful, but it will make you grow.

They travel, they go on adventures, they road trip, they do

Hang out with a new group socially that you've never hung

random things. They change their minds quickly. They go

out with before; who have a different lifestyle from you. Be

to five parties a night instead of just one. They are into

observant. Learn from the environment. Even thou it's

novelty. They are pleasure seeking. They always want to do

fearful to try new things. These are all ways to build your right-

something new. They want to be the first to do things. They

brain skill.

are very physical. They are not in their heads; they are in their bodies doing things. So do the lifestyle they do and it's

It's what I wrote about in a recent mainstream article on

going to make you uncomfortable at first because it doesn't

men's psychology called "Be a Surfer, Not an Accountant".

come natural to you. But use courage to do it anyway and

All the things I write about in there about surfers are right-

try to learn lessons.

brain skills. Practice those.

The other way to cultivate right-brained ability specifically is make yourself a list of activities to practice at that are rightbrained. It's anything that is creative or performance-based, innovative, spontaneous or artistic. For example, taking an 85


Depresculinity, and Mano a Mano FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT 1. Get out of Depresculinity, be a man, and fight for what you want

Question: “Mick” from Zurich, Switzerland. "Hi Dr. Paul, as it comes

2. But choose your battles

raised: dismissive talking and behavior about my father,

3. You will not be able to avoid conflict and competition in life, but with these programs, you will be well-equipped for them


to my Depresculinity, I think it has to do with how I've been sexuality in being a man, all said by mother. For her, I had the role as a substitute partner. I was the reason my parents had to marry and I was compared to others' marriages. I usually failed. I am physically short: five foot. . ." Dr. Paul: 20? 5 foot 2, I think he means. So he's talking about the effect of things we can't control: where we come from, who our parents are, what we inherited biologically in height. Men are concerned about height, hair loss, being overweight, all of these things that we don't control because they are part of our physical bodies. What you can do is what you control. To a degree, this is a boundary question. How can I have better boundaries with myself, and have it impact Depresculinity? Feeling less depressed and more masculine; you would cultivate boundaries. The way you would do that would be to do your best with what you do have. 86

boundary too, because a boundary separates our view of the You do control having a better physique. You control your

world and others from how they view it. For you, it's going

nutrition. You control the people you know. You control

to be all about growing boundaries. That means recognizing

your value among them. You control your material worth.

the people that see you differently than you see yourself and

These things are all leverage points for you, that you do have

shedding some of the perfectionist ideas you may have. You

control over.

can't make yourself grow taller, but you can grow fitter, wealthier, more skilled, more experiences, and more masculine.

Ironically, even though you don't control your height or hair loss, or things like this (and you don't control the parents

That's what you're after anyway, is results with other people.

that you came from) simply by working away – The saying

Feeling more masculine and feelings less depressed means

is: "If all you've got is lemons, then make lemonade."

no more Depresculinity for you.

Working with what you've got, you can build miraculous

QUESTION: “Hi Dr. Paul. I have a question actually. It has to do

things in part because the very act of working toward a goal

specifically with male competition. It's a two-part question.

is masculinizing. If you raise your masculinity level through

One of them – I'm going to describe a situation and it's going

doing work on yourself, doing your best with what you've

to sound a little childish, but I wanted to get your

got, your higher masculinity level leads to massively

interpretation of it. I was coming from the park one time

increased opportunities in life.

and I was actually watching the cars swerve in and out of traffic and trying to get back into my car. Some guy, right; he

Masculinity itself is what attracts women sexually, so

actually approaches and he says: "Hey, you were looking at

ironically, it doesn't matter what your height is, or hair loss,

my car. Why were you looking at my car?" I responded, I

or things like this, or who your parents are. In the eyes of a

said: "Hey, nobody was looking at your car."

woman, the masculine you are, the more attractive you are period.

It was a very odd situation because I got caught by surprise and at the same time, I was with my family and we had

So you need to accept that. Women don't see you the same

people visiting from overseas. It wasn't the time to get into a

way you see yourself. You'll have to develop that as a

scrap, but it left me with the feeling of, that I should've done 87

something about it. Or I should've confronted the guy, or

It ought to help you to solve this in the future to simply be

you know. . . I wanted to know, what is your interpretation

aware that you are in control of the choices here. Do you

of this situation and how should I have handled that.”

want to choose on the side of preserving your resource of time, which benefits your life and makes you more

Dr. Paul:

masculine? Or do you want to side on having to win, or

Well, it sounds like you had that uncomfortable experience

trying to win? Either way, you still control. Then you don't

of having to make a choice that was more convenient for you

feel like you're punked by some guy, like you're sneak-

because you didn't have time to mess around with a stranger

attacked by some guy. Then you feel like less than a man for

and solve his low self-esteem problems, and paranoia, or

backing down from a fight or something.

why he would think you're trying to steal his car or something. So it was best for you to leave, but you left with

QUESTION: “Right, and trying to be a mature masculine man tha

the masculine instinct being triggered for wanting to win.

t is masculine, yet professional and intelligent in an everyday

We have an instinct to win. Where we don't win, we feel

life. I wanted to – What would've been the right thing to do?”

knocked down a peg in our masculinity level. Dr. Paul: Even if trying to win is irrational and makes no sense. It's

I think you did the right thing. You responded with minimal

the reason we go to war a lot of times. You know, Freud said

effort. You gave an intellectual response. It reminds me of –

he was certain that there is a human unconscious for only

remember Good Will Hunting with Matt Damon, where he

two reasons. One, we dream. Where the hell do dreams

is in this verbal argument, one-upmanship over who's the

come from? We're not making them up. And, two, we have

smarter guy at Harvard. He really puts the guy to shame

war. He said that's why he knows there is an unconscious,

and then says: "How about them apples?" Clearly, he's able

because war is illogical.

to fist fight but he doesn't in that case. He uses his intellect to win. The end result is: you want to win as a man, but you

Fighting is illogical and yet we do it. It's because, for males,

don't have to win with fists. You can win through being

we need to win to feel masculine.

superior intellectually.

88

QUESTION: “Okay. And, you know, at that time, in that moment,

girlfriend you choose; they ought to be the kind of people

I felt I did the right thing because the family was there. It wasn't

who understand that one can win through preserving a

the right time. The guy looked like a street punk anyway.

man's resources and winning intellectually, not just with

But, you know, the masculine side of me was more like I

fists. I've seen a lot of guys – What I'm getting at is I've seen

wanted to fight him and not look bad to my family either,

a lot of guys who have a girlfriend who's hot, but is not a big

because now I – You know how men are always protecting

time intellectual person, and kind of doesn't get it as far as,

our social hierarchy as well to others, to our family, to other

you know, a guy backing down from a fight because that

men in our environment and the nature of backing down

does make him win. He's not going to waste his time on

hurts that side of the self-esteem of yourself. In everyday

some idiot. But she doesn't get that.

life and getting along, I did the right thing. But it kind of, it's been irking me for a while.”

She's hot and that's why he likes her, but she complains: "Why did you back down from that guy? You should've

Dr. Paul:

fought that guy." Well, that's a bad match. They shouldn't

I think, again, it goes back to this idea that where the juice is

be together in a relationship.

in this is in winning. You need to win. You need to walk away with your head held high. And then you're concerned

QUESTION: “So, ultimately it's a judgement call?”

about how your family sees you. You can win intellectually. You can win through preserving your resource of time.

Dr. Paul:

You've won if you've done that. If the guy's an a-hole and

Yes. It is a judgement call, but just like our situation we

he's threatening, then you may need to do something

described about a guy being in the work place. If you are

physical and that's the superior choice.

awake and aware to what the menu options are, you could choose any of them and you still win.

It depends on the circumstances. But an interesting side note to all of this is if we were talking about you being in a

The times you feel bad are when you feel like; "Oh, I backed

marriage, or having a girlfriend, or having friends with you,

down fight and that's bad. That's unmasculine." But if

the kind of friends you choose, or wife you choose, or

you're aware that this guy's a schmuck, you don't want to 89

waste your time on him, so you're walking away with your

ability to sleep with one eye open, as they say, to always

head held high. He's an idiot wasting his time. Then you

have a Spidey-sense on, that when there is some jerk who

don’t' lose any masculinity and there is no shame to it.

might fight and he can't take you by surprise if you're always cultivating this "observing ego" ability; this sense of

QUESTION: “I understand. I think, and I guess the deep root of t

being aware of your environment. Then walking away is no

he question is, sometimes as you're actually becoming aware of

sweat, because you didn't get jumped. You didn't get surprised.

everything that it takes for you to be – to live to the highest potential of being a man, that you don't want to overlook

QUESTION: “So, if I understand you correctly, it's not the

something that starts wearing down your self-esteem. Or

walking away that's unmasculine, it's that one could develop

wears you down how you feel about yourself; to how we

awareness to anticipate what's going to happen and pre-

insidiously, under the skin, affects you in indirect ways.

select your choice. That would be more masculine.”

That was my main concern.” Dr. Paul: Dr. Paul:

Right. It's not getting made the fool by another man. It's

Yes. I think a corollary to it, and this may be what you are

avoiding getting made the fool and therefore winning in the

asking simultaneously: guys who know they're walking

interaction. The other man might be physically bigger than

away from a fight on purpose and don't want to lose face,

you. He might be a superior fighter, but . . .

feel less masculine because they walked away from a fight, and are doing so not out of free choice and wise

QUESTION: “He was actually smaller.”

consideration, but are doing it because the other guy surprised them before they had a chance to react. That is

Dr. Paul: But we're not after winning physically, we're after the

unmasculine and does feel bad. It's cured by cultivating

internal experience psychologically of winning. That's what

more "observing ego" ability.

we're after.

Our one new blogger, Houdini, who was with Special Forces

QUESTION: “As it pertains to ourselves?”

can certainly speak to this concept that if you cultivate the 90

Dr. Paul: Yes. You weren't made the fool. You weren't used by

how our various programs apply to each and every kind of

another man. You weren't taken advantage of by another

problem, with specific skill building.

man, is what you're after. Then you've won. You weren't bullied. You weren't sneak-attacked. When you are awake

When you enroll in the Men’s Psychology On Demand Program,

and aware that some other man is a better fighter than you,

you get a massive follow up ebook called Advanced Masculine

well then you can walk away with your head held high

Intelligence - which lays out many of the foundational principles

because you can't control that he's eight feet tall. But if a

we teach in all our programs, almost like a synopsis of them for

lesser man than you physically surprises you, takes

introductory study - before going to the all-out CD/DVD or Video

advantage of you, makes you look foolish or silly; you

Streaming programs.

could've prevented that. I hope you guys enjoy your membership at the QUESTION: “And how would you have prevented that? If they're

On Demand Program and http://

in the emotional state that they are a schmuck like you said?”

www.menspsychology.com, and the weekly newsletters, the teleseminars, all of the above, the podcasts even and I'll look

Dr. Paul: By having your Spidey sense on, your "observing ego";

forward to talking to you personally on the teleseminars and

being more observant of your environment, not so in your

in the member Forums as well.

head that you're not paying attention. This has been Dr. Paul for www.menspsychology.com and QUESTION: “All right. Yes. The funny thing is, the guy was small

Men's Psychology Magazine. Thank you for joining us.

er than me and it wasn't even like a match.” Dr. Paul: All right, anybody else? If not, it looks like we have reached the end of program: Masculine Intelligence, which we have applied to every major area of a man's life. I've shown you

91

Aggression A destructive, immature use of anger described in MindOS, in which one hurts another person, invading their boundary, and at first discharges negative emotion (anger), but is met with repercussions from society in which one is hurt or punished in return, and returns to anger and or depression. Ultimately it begins with a lack of one’s needs being met (one is low on well-being), and its potential cure is assertiveness. An aggressive person is also a low self-esteem person in the area of well-being.

Related Glossary Terms Assertiveness, MindOS, Self-esteem, The Anger Map, Well-being

Index

Find Term

Assertiveness A positive, constructive, mature use of anger, depicted on the Anger Map from the MindOS system, and whose use results in obtaining well-being out of one’s anger.

Related Glossary Terms The Anger Map, Well-being

Index

Find Term

Confidence A “paternal” variety of self-esteem or positive emotional energy, but not gender-specific. The other type of self-esteem in the MindOS system is called “well-being.” Females of the Warrior or Magician personality style in the KWML system can be dominant in this type of emotional energy or self-esteem. It is action-taking in essence, and is the reward achieved when one exercises courage “doing the right thing no matter how bad it feels.”

Related Glossary Terms KWML, MindOS, The Anxiety Map, Well-being

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Depresculinity Both a state of mind unique to men, deeper than a depression and not treatable with medication or standard gender-neutral therapy, as well as a program from Men’s Psychology Magazine on men’s moods, their current cultural situation, and corrective measures that are empowering for men in general.

Related Glossary Terms Passion, The Anger Map

Index

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Depression A destructive use of anger, and resulting from being low on the self-esteem type called well-being, or resulting from a type of stress called “hurt” which has invaded one’s personal boundary. Action in general and assertiveness in specific are the psychological cures. Depresculinity has depression associated with it, but is a deeper-level, gender-based problem in which one also lacks masculinity or has it blocked in expression.

Related Glossary Terms Assertiveness, Depresculinity, MindOS, The Anger Map, Well-being

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Femininity A set of instincts or reflexes unique to females, and comprised of individual skills that are inborn, and yet can be cultivated, expressed, augmented, and utilized much like the tools in a tool belt - decodable by way of myths such as the goddesses of ancient Greece. Further study, see the Mature Masculine Power Program at www.menspsychology.com/courses/ miman.

Related Glossary Terms Masculinity

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Impulsivity A core of addiction, impulsivity is a negative, destructive use of one’s anxiety, in which the anxiety is discharged through thoughtless action. Shown on the Anxiety Map of the MindO system, its cure is courage, which corrects the problem of lacking confidence underneath one’s anxiety. One may also lack boundary strength in exhibiting impulsivity or addiction.

Related Glossary Terms Confidence, MindOS, The Anxiety Map

Index

Find Term

KWML A personality typing system as well as a program from Men’s Psychology Magazine which illustrates all the uses of personality in choosing a woman to date, befriend or marry, as well as how to build teams in the workplace. The KWML Mastery Program is that course. Also available as a free test at the KWML Test of Men’s Psychology Magazine.

Related Glossary Terms Drag related terms here

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Masculinity A set of instincts or reflexes unique to males, and comprised of individual skills that are inborn, and yet can be cultivated, expressed, augmented, and utilized much like the tools in a tool belt - decodable by way of myths such as the gods of ancient Greece. Further study, see the Mature Masculine Power Program at www.menspsychology.com/courses/ miman.

Related Glossary Terms Drag related terms here

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Masochism ("Victim-thinking") A negative, destructive use of anxiety in which one “dumps” on others, worries or complains at them, describes hopelessness or helplessness in the face of evidence to the contrary. Shown on the Anxiety Map of the MindOS system, it originates from lacking confidence, and its cure if courage, which leads to new confidence. It may also be foisted upon others when there is lacking boundary strength, or what are called “holes” in one’s personal boundary.

Related Glossary Terms Confidence, MindOS, The Anxiety Map

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Mature Masculine Power A program of Men’s Psychology Magazine explaining career issues, the “circuits of masculinity,” and the process of male initiation into adult life.

Related Glossary Terms Masculinity, Passion, Superhero Masculinity

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MindOS A visual system of psychology from Men’s Psychology Magazine explaining the conscious mind, its working parts in a graphic, practical way anyone can understand for the purpose of happiness, success, fulfillment and general growth of character maturity.

Related Glossary Terms The Anger Map

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Passion A feeling of “being alive” and the opposite of “depresculinity” - a feeling of being “deadened” and depressed. It is more than emotion. It is a force of instinct leading to action, and for men, is the same as masculinity, while for women it is the same as femininity. There are only two origins and uses of passion - that which causes one to survive and feel alive, feel “viable,” and that that pertains to reproduction, sex in romance.

Related Glossary Terms Femininity, Masculinity

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Self-esteem A positive emotional energy that comes in two varieties according to the MindOS system: well-being, and confidence. It is also the core of love and forming friendships, as in the second phase of human courtship described in the Omega Male Program, and in detail in the emotional connections between personality styles in the KWML personality system.

Related Glossary Terms KWML, MindOS, The Omega Male Program

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Superhero Masculinity A program that goes hand in hand with Mature Masculine Power, in envisioning men’s instincts as like “superhero powers” one would have in a “utility belt.”

Related Glossary Terms Masculinity, Mature Masculine Power

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The Anger Map A visual method of understanding the type of self-esteem called well-being, and described in MindOS and other Men’s Psychology Programs. It explains the nature and technology to deal with aggression, depression, hurt feelings, needs in life not being met, as well as victim attitudes.

Related Glossary Terms Depresculinity, MindOS

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The Anxiety Map A visual method of understanding all things pertaining to anxiety and fear, masochism and victim-thinking, impulsiveness and addiction, suffering of loss and lack of confidence, the second type of self-esteem besides well-being. Its principles are fully covered in the MindOS Program.

Related Glossary Terms MindOS

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The Omega Male Program A complete system of courtship explaining the three phases and all steps of the human mating sequence, as well as troubleshooting any romantic situation, date, relationship or marriage for what works and what doesn’t with a particular individual. Much like an MRI machine for one’s romantic life. It comes with a practical applications module in the form of the Virtual Dating Coach.

Related Glossary Terms The Virtual Dating Coach

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The Personal Boundary An invisible circle around every person, and marking one’s territory, privacy, and what is in one’s control and responsibility in life, versus what is not (which is outside the boundary.) It is what is referred to by “skin” when one has “thin skin” or “thick skin” or someone “gets under your skin.” It is the “buttons” people can “push,” and its gaps or “holes” are the places where one has “issues” or is oversensitive, dramatic, overwhelmed, or “stressed.” Described in the MindOS system in basic, and extensively in Masculine Intelligence in Personal Boundaries, this feature of your psyche is like a shield against stress, is like a “tank” which can contain all your psychological resources, and acts as a “filter” of what is good for you versus what is not, and a “budgeter” of your resources. It contains your personal strength, respect for self and others, and is strengthened by developing skill at both saying and hearing the word, “no.”

Related Glossary Terms Aggression, Impulsivity, Masochism ("Victim-thinking"), MindOS

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The Virtual Dating Coach A literal “artificial intelligence” program in audio form, fit for an iPod or MP3 player, in which a man can receive coaching, live, out on the town at the early steps of courtship with a woman. All contingencies are covered in terms of what they do wrong in attracting women, and corrective measures are recommended for each.

Related Glossary Terms The Omega Male Program

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Well-being A “maternal” variety of self-esteem or positive emotional energy, but not gender-specific. Males of the King or Lover personality style in the KWML system can be dominant in this type of emotional energy or self-esteem. It is nurturing in essence, and is the reward achieved when one exercises assertiveness getting one’s own needs met without harming or using others.

Related Glossary Terms KWML, MindOS, Self-esteem, The Anger Map

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Masculine Intelligence

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