6o Years of Challenge The System Make a move quickly so you get sized up as a lover, not a boyfriend. When you get sized up as a boyfriend, that’s where you have the most competition and barriers (ie fitting her criteria). This system is the easiest, fastest, and safest way to figure out if a girl is interested or not. We’re being a challenge because we’re making a move quickly while everyone else is dancing around the subject. It has nothing to do with being social, because being social has little to do with the seduction process. Precursors Stop watching porn or you’ll never have the drive to get sex. Nowadays guys don’t even want sex because their sexual needs are fulfilled by porn. They think they want sex, but in reality they just want affection, which is impossible to get because girls are only affectionate with guys that they are willing to have sex with. It’s a never ending cycle of unfulfilled desire. Logic: Have sex with her to get affection. Stop watching porn to have sex with her.
Let’s get over our fears rather than focus on getting an outcome. Each attempt to get over our fears is a success. Fear 1: Getting those first few words out (not actually scared of walking over there). Fear 2: Overt move that lets her know you are attracted. Fear 3: Getting sexual You suck AND you’re good Everyone has good nights and bad nights, the difference maker is momentum and how you use it. Don’t avoid what you want to do Momentum is not neutral, it’s either making you feel worse or better Micro avoidances negative momentum Micro successes (doing what you want) positive momentum Opening Opening is strictly a screening process and says nothing about your ability to take a girl who’s interested and maker her more interested.
Get in close right away from the get go so there’s no move, she just thinks that’s how you interact. Plus you have the advantage of the natural attraction mechanism of being close. You are the first set: Open yourself first before you open other people. Eye contact w/ people a beat or 2 longer. • Smile at people. • Open posture. • Stay positive w/ thoughts and vibe. Not defensive. • Open yourself in case people around you want to talk.
Open immediate area instead of lurking around. Value your space so that people feel like they came to you. Why? Already have at least one thing in common, the same space. Exercise: Introduce yourself to the next 10 people who come into your area. YOUR social warm-up exercise, it’s not about them. Openers: Verbal - “We’re meeting everyone in our area tonight” Non-verbal - Cheers; Make her spin. Find ways to get more introductions Sitting next her to at the bar “Hey neighbor” To any request from a stranger: Her: “Will you take a picture for us?” You: “If you introduce yourself first.” Exercise: Dealing with negative thoughts about 1) her 2) the situation 3) you 1st column: Keep a list of everything you want to do (eg: I want to meet that girl) 2nd column: Why you want to avoid it (eg: She looks like a bitchy New York girl) 3rd column: What happened you went to go talk to her (eg: She’s nice and she’s visiting from Australia) This is training your mind to not let your judgments affect your behavior. -
Find ways to make the opening mutual (because it’s a higher percentage open) – Eg: Give her a look like you know her; look somewhere near her and then look at her when she looks at you (Good examples in Gambler’s Stealth Attraction and Gunwitch’s stuff) Make your presence known before you open (again because it’s a higher percentage chance of success) “I wanted to meet you at some point.” You can make this the second statement based on her response to whatever situational opener you used. If the response is bad, you don’t have to use it. If she responds positively to your initial statement, go ahead and tell her you wanted to meet her. Escalating the vibe (Automatic attraction) You don’t need any “attraction techniques”. Create attraction just by listening. Tension between men and women is inherently sexual, so all you need to do is focus on keeping the tension there and not breaking it by talking a lot and joking around. No uncomfortable feeling = nothing gonna happen!
If you escalate, she may blow you off, but that’s a good thing! If you were being social/interesting with the same girl, you’d be in set longer, b ut you also would’ve wasted your time because ultimately nothing would’ve happened.
You can’t know if a girl is interested or not right off the bat, so you might as well give her a chance since you’ll be able find out right away without wasting your time. Stick to the game plan. Doing the same exact thing to two different girls will either be creepy or sexy, which entirely depends on if the girl is interested or not. This is the safest method for escalating. There’s nothing verbal for her to reject, nothing physical for her to resist. -Never pull your hand away first in an initial handshake -Intense eye contact -Use pauses and wait out moments of silence. Talk slower. -Get closer. Normal conversation distance = Too far away ! (Dating in the Dark TV show is a good example of how being close will create a strong connection really fast, no matter who does it) -Be social/fun guy with everyone else. With her, be seductive. This way you get the best of both worlds: she can see you are a cool guy, but the interaction she experiences with you brings you two closer. Screening her There are only 3 modes she could be in: Uninterested Interested – Looking for attention Interested – Want to get laid Poker face Give her very little verbal or facial feedback -No head nod policy -Remain silent 3-5 seconds after she finishes talking -Express your reactions through touch instead of v erbally or facially. If she’s talking about a sad subject, hold out your hand. Attraction/sexual tension in a group Keep eye contact on her more than other people, even if she isn’t the one talking. Ie. Seeing her reactions to someone else talking Don’t take the bait to break rapport/sexual tension Her: “You’re weird.” You: “You got me.” Or give her a smirk and look away. Questions to get her talking Once the conversation has started flowing, your job becomes to listen. Gives you the opportunity to get closer Use prepping early – “Just so you know, you’re coming home with me later.” It’s a way to find out her reaction to a question before you ask it.
Escalating Physically Focus on touching her hands instead of other areas that are commonly suggested, such as her shoulders.
Hand caressing replaces kiss close in other models GOAL: Mutual overt contact Anything you do should lead to this. Any incidental touching should be done with this goal in mind. After this has happened, when you’ve both stated your intentions physically, it’s now ok to go for riskier sexual moves. What pickup companies don’t tell you: Escalation is attractive. Trying is what makes her more attracted. Mutual is the best option for physical escalation (instead trying to turn her on, she’s already turned on. Instead of you putting the moves on her, you’re both putting the moves on each other). In this situation, the tension has been building and building until the arousal point of no return and things just happen with no resistance. Next best option is to make it easy for her (Eg: put her hand on you)
