1:1 i ncrease in depression… Consistently engaged, alert and alive – why not? Why tenfold increase
What is high performance? performance? Out achieving youself in the standards you have set for yourself previously on a consistent basis
Demand more from yourself so you can feel alive, engaged, energetic – evenly sustained energy not a spike or peak performance performance with troughs.. Sustained..elevated then sustained at new higher level..
basic human needs met…
Audience..
External focus..new belongings,,if belongings,,if I had this
Move to separateness not community..each person doing own thing with headphones…
Cups – looking for new cups before making sure current cup is full
The way you do some things are the way you do most things – the way you do the small acts are the way you do the big acts. You don’t have happiness you generate happiness You don’t have depression you generate depression unless
clinical (small 5%)
Psychology and Psychiatry is only field where don’t look at the organ – if you break your wrist they
will take an xray to see what is wrong
Kid lashing out at other kids – drugs, therapy.. but nobody had looked looked at his brain. He had a cyst growing on his pre-frontal cortex pushing on area that controls impulse and attention and ability to relate with others – they remove cyst and now a fully functioning adult. At the end of your life you will ask Did I live?..joyous, engaged, engaged, fully – did I live that way? Am I ready? Who am I going to miss? Who will miss me? Did I love? Fully, openly and completely or did I protect myself? You protect yourself from the “bad guys” but you also shut out the “good guys”
Did I matter? Was there a reason I was here? Did I make a difference? He looked at the moon and felt he had been given life’s golden ticket – you can still make a
difference but the time is ticking.. I will earn this second chance He uses those questions every day to gauge his life – Am I living?, am I loving?, did I matter?.. We all have a new chance every day – we have that choice to use our free will It is how he interpreted that event in his life – another person could be in a car accident and not impact their life at all or in a negative way. The concept of a consciously designed life powered by choice How are you so happy and joyful and energetic – because I think about being happy and joyful and energetic – make it a life practice to level up Engagement Engagement happens through expression Focus – very focused and very present – love a challenge and love to go get it – that is the mark of a high performer. Mind power trumps brain power – neural plasticity – we can rewire our brains – when your brain is busted they use your mind to fix it We are free to choose our own response – not limited to Fight, Freeze or Flight but also Freedom. “The mobilization of our energies towards something conscious will change your life”
Nothing will change for you when you go home UNLESS YOU CHANGE IT! The thing for you to put into areas of your life is novelty/newness novelty/newness and challenge and connection – your job, your relationships, your hobbies.. these are what stimulate the reward centres in your brain plus new frontier is creative expression Have the charge and direct it 1:2
Three Buckets Lack of strategy/education leads to The Caged Life: Obedient life – driven by animalistic stimulus response world – attention, love, security, certainty – limited set of experiences and emotions.. sometimes caged by others expectations. The door to opportunity is always open but in the caged life you are terrified to walk outside as no certainty. Somebody else comes into your cage you feel fear and aggression or confusion. “I don’t know this person” . Emotional set point is low. You want attention and love but not sure what you need to do to get it. You become conditioned by what others give you treats for – not conscious choice. It can be a good place to start – you have structure, safety and certainty but this is the death of happiness for an adult. There is abundant choice and with TV and the Internet you have access to it all so living in your small cage becomes misery. You stop trying to please other and become like the ape that just sits in the corner – won’t play, won’t engage.. Needs energy given to them. Need to be controlled. Needs fulfillment is a changed game – Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – he was a genius but his work is 70 years old and things have changed. Most of the teachings of Freud have been disproven but still talked about as if truth. The Comfortable Life- way better than caged life. Sometimes you break out of the cage and get
freaked out and go back to the cage. They strive and they strive climbing a ladder that they don’t know where it goes. Sometimes your busy work isn’t your LIFES WORK. The needs are met but they don’t feel as happy or fulfilled as they wish. I have a voice but is it the right voice. Was it the right
me? Has some energy but from external factors. Need for acceptance. The Charged Life understands what the needs are and designing your lifestyle so that all the things
that are required to keep you happy and fulfilled are being met. Your patterns and practices and hobbies push you out of your comfort zone. Charged – feel more engaged, charged, energetic, enthusiastic. Am I living my fully authentic voice life now. They are dialled in – they have got it. Energy is generated from within. Others do not dictate their emotion or identity. Expressing their higher self. About being expressive. In comfort you are NEVER Fully realized – we are built to grow. I’m expanding just as the Universe is. Some Teaching will say just concentrate on your strengths (Eben Pagan) but that does not work. Worked for company that focused around strengths but didn’t work – people were happy but didn’t work. Comfortable but you never expand. 1:3 “The topics of your conversations become the themes of your l ife”
Happiness is the topic of your conversations the more you live in a happy space – the more you talk about blame, anger and disgust and regret and anxiety the more you live there because that is the topic of your conversations. What we say integrates – our word is our bond. Sculpt our lives from our speech.
Talking about the weather doesn’t mean anything and sure doesn’t make you an interesting person
unless you have a great story about the weather e.g. you are a hurricane chaser. What about when you talk focus on the positive side, the meaningful side…
Set an envelope for happiness around yourself Brand new spanking experiences (novelty), challenges, connection (real, deep and meaningful) are common elements to peoples stories about what makes them happy. Pride/satisfaction in achieving something. An academic would describe it – I will PRESCRIBE IT – we need more standard setting – we should, we ought Novelty creates dopamine (reward centre). The brain is an anticipation machine. How much novelty are you building into your life – not how much novelty you have – how much are you generating – be more exciting and do more exciting thing and you will have more excitement in your life. Most of the meaning of happiness in an experience is from the social aspect not the achieving of the destination – if you climbed Everest on your own then it would be the time you come down and share how you did it with others.. Don’t let the elements to happiness be COMMON SENSE but instead make them COMMON
PRACTICE What could I do to bring novelty into my life – they don’t have to be thrill seeking experiences. Do same for Challenge and Connection
5 Areas of competency
Pyschology - Being the master of your mind – ultimate priority…mindfulness Physiology – Got to take control of our bodies – take the priorities that keep you charged seriously –
sleep, hydration, good diet, exercise Genetics lay the base and may account for 50% but rest comes down to choices and environment (we also often have choice about environment) What will make you happy on physical level is vibrancy not external factors When depleted/fatigued judgement is affected and impulse control worse – it’s so much easier to pickup and eat horrible food and be mean. What about if we stopped blaming exhaustion and blamed our own energy? Not about blame but responsibility – you created the exhaustion by not managing things properly You can get by on willpower FOR A WHILE Nothing feels better than a fit vibrant body Productivity – Move more quickly towards contributing/artistry to the world/lifes ambitions. How
much are you creating? Tangible things. Idea is one level but creative expression another level – many may think of a portable music machine but few create an ipod.. Persuasion – We live in a social world – if can’t influence you can’t matter – influence your child,
your job.. Purpose is not ambition or a goal but a higher self, achievement, reason – something you are not something to achieve one day – we are not built to pick one thing we are striving for – not an external thing but something we are experiencing and living – live a higher purpose don’t try to get one/accomplish one Learn about the food digestion cycle if want to teach others.. there is a dip a t ime after eating
Can ask people what they think the purpose to life is. Growth, contribution, love and happiness There are common elements to purpose as there are to happiness. Suggests writing a journal – your own personal self help book for life – can hand to your kids
Productivity – goal setting and prioritization and then doing those things that are highest priority first Physiology – More consistency with exercise and diet Persuasion – master my body language – physicality, tone, eye contact.. Psychology – Meditation and affirmations Answers to any question usually come from comfort/top of mind – are those from place of charged – are they challenges for you? Are they big enough for you? Are they needle movers? Can I go bigger? My first response is likely to be easier – how can I go bigger/better?
Psychology Physiology – Achieve a challenge e.g. Tough Mudder UK, Slam dunk.., Press ups without knees, pull ups without chair Persuasion – Sell others on membership or WSO by video
Productivity – Mastery of systems thinking and systems to achieve great results consistently with other people Everything you write about your life should inspire the hell out of you. Every goal, every thought about who you are and what life is about should lift you – if it doesn’t you are not living inspired life. You should be the ultimate role model for your life and demand that from yourself. Demand the best from yourself because that is what will make you feel alive. Tony Robbins when he writes he writes from an inspired place – same with Jack Canfield..Don’t write the EASY write the BOLD You emotional intensity has a lot to do with your productivity You have to generate inspiration and passion – it won’t land on you – the piano of purpose “Don’t wish life circumstances were better – wish you were better” Jim Rohn
Something new will not come into your life – something new will come out of you
Events may shape you but they are not controlling you Generally for most people we have the ability to redefine, or recast or reframe or just decide anew who we are, where we are at and what we are capable of Draw a demarcation line – Now I’m back in control – use education and strategy
info to initiative model If somebody raises their hand in an audience the brain can tell from context that safe – if you were in a biker bar and somebody raised a hand nearby your brain may perceive it as a threat Set intention to be my highest self 1. Control the information coming into your life often we are failing our strategy for something that is meaningful to something that is a distraction.
2. Your personality is not a fixed trait – it can shift. When people say “You don’t understand that’s just the way I am” it isn’t true. You should not base yourself on the momentary
patterns that you run – can be shifted by choice and new experiences If you have negative emotion linked to the past then what is it that needs to be released? Not needs but desires or wants or drives e.g. growth or contribution – many happy to play computer games and veg out…– very few actual “needs” – different to what Tony teaches.
I can motivate myself by Pain or pleasure (hedonism) – great concept in the 80’s and maybe up until the end of the 90’s – you are not an ass that is only motivated by the carrot and the stick as we have morality and choice which raises us to above stimulus-response. Old teaching was if we want somebody to change all we have to do is attach massive pain to where they are and then pleasure to where they want to be. “It may kick the ass in gear but the ass ain’t going to climb the mountain”
Nothing enlightening came from and was rooted in pain – it came from Love. Things that perpetuate from the Universe don’t come from Pain. When he was learning marketing it was hit them with the pain and twist the knife and they will buy – yes it works in the short term and the people you are attract are the pain perpetuators and you don’t want them in your life over the long term. Pleasure is an immediate gratification thing – what if all we did instead of pain or pleasure was focus on satisfaction. Just get mad at yourself and you will change – no you will just be mad and angry at yourself You need the higher purpose stuff to elevate us above the stimulus response and pain/pleasure paradigm. Victor Frankl – his search for meaning raised him above these levels. If you are a manager no matter how big the carrots (money, perks..) or the threats (carrot) you will not inspire your organization. They will move for vision (Without a vision people perish) You don’t want to be around people who attach pain to things.
In traditional self help – let’s associate massive pain to those things – what’s it been costing you, where will you be in x years if you continue blaming those things.. – Dickens method… Why can’t we just use our conscious will and say – “You know what – that’s not serving me an y more” Lots of thinking was that we were being driven by “darker desires” – sexual aggression (Freud) or
childhood untoward events.. The last 50 years has been on treating illness but in addition there is a new kid on the block – positive psychology e.g. Seligman, Sonia K…
Thinking was that we have to understand disorder to understand order – understand the dark to be able to understand the light.. but illness and health are very different things “We don’t have to venture into the dark to reconnect with our light”
Studies are starting to show we are drawn more towards virtue than we are darkness – driven by ability to have strength and courage and the values that shape humanity Most people aren’t walking unconsciously through life – they are struggling and trying to do the best
they can fully aware of there own problems – people are trying to do the best that they can with the education they have and the strategies they know – it is mean to call them sleep walking zombies/sheeple.. It’s not unconscious/subconscious thoughts controlling you – it is not enough consciousness
We have come along a way in the understanding of the brain so many concepts still taught are not updated with what has been found out – like trying to get best performance out of a Porsche but studying a manual for a model t ford.. What about instead of focusing on blame – what can we give credit for/what virtues and values? Instead of focus on what makes us wrong focus on what makes us right
Engage in the best of ourselves It’s not a bragger to tap into the higher parts of o ur selves and talk about it – you can go up to a group and say you are depressed or how things go wrong and that’s fine but not I’m doing gr eat – I’m lit up..
With the drives they can be harnessed in good way or bad – control in right way is good but not when misaligned e.g. seeking to control others or OCD…
Will teach on 10 drives and for each drive 3 takeaways
Living and understanding what motivates and makes people happy much more inspiring than what the weather is doing How do you get and keep presence? When speaking need a lot of energy Ask yourself what level am I right now in terms of my vibrancy and presence? Activates guilt – you have ability to live life at it’s fullest and richest and you are letting yourself be a 4? Then level up using conscious choice The idea of hierarchy is what Brendan has a problem with that you can’t have a higher need without
satisfying a lower need – somebody can contribute even though they don’t have shelter.. In marketing you can discuss problems but you don’t need to bang it over and over – if marketing is majority negative and driven by pain don’t think that’s enough – tap into peoples aspirational drive –
a different emphasis With children a new standard and a new way of being can light the fire We have a popular belief that success is in the extrinsic when we know that it’s not true and about
the intrinsic. Neuroscience – Satisfaction and How we Decide books, Positive Psychology – Martin Seligman, Flow, Mindfullness and High Performance Dana Segal - Mind Sight good book about past.. psychotherapist Impossible to prove that childhood events cause/determines adult personality if a then b always – it doesn’t. May have if a then b more likely.. It can shape it but doesn’t always – choice of meaning and maturity can change outcome.. “I’m a student, a researcher and a reporter” also mentions synthesist
How do you DO FUN? You control it Remember each of the drives are dualistic – could be a good or bad thing – you could have unhealthy level of connection – think Glenn Close bunny boiler Baseline Drives Lead to comfortable life – comfortable isn’t bad – much of the world would love to be comfortable. We ought to be appreciative of what we have which would be seen as Godly/Kingly in other parts of the world. 1. Control – a sense of control – I can direct the outcomes of my life. Self-determinism. Feel more confident and competent and capable. Hoarders have an obsessive need for control over their environment What should we not focus on?
Control over other people – we spend lots of times trying to control others thoughts and feelings and behaviours to achieve our own ends = manipulation. Attempting to influence other people so they can achieve their own ends – that is inspiring. Role model to influence and empower – don’t try to control other people as you never can effectively We also try to control our social self image – what others think of us – we try to impress and gain status – we try to manipulate factors and control what others thing – release that need – self acceptance and self love Most people spend an amazing amount of control time trying to influence these two factors. We also spent tremendous amount of control time trying to control the outcome – perfectionism comes from a desire of control . That is usually not healthy – not flexible and resilient Control for the process and systems not the outcome . Don’t be too concerned if not exactly right just put everything you can into it What are the things that we can control that move the needle? 1. New – control for new/variety – events, people, circumstances.. HOW DO I CONSISTENTLY BRING NEW EXPERIENCES INTO MY LIFE? Schedule it – put it in the calendar. Every 90 days BB and his partner take a 3-4 day trip. Go to a different restaurant every date night – find the top x restaurants in your area. Be conscious – what’s coming into town that’s new – new theatre, new films, new bands.. new things you can learn, master, experience 2. Workflow – control for workflow. Worklife has a great deal of control over your overall health and happiness. Work towards “ownership experience” Setup your life so you take on projects you are passionate about. Control for beginning to end – infancy to maturity – with children we see the evolution of something that we have input into and we can take great pride and satisfaction from. 3. Physical vibrancy – 4 basics – sleep, exercise, diet and hydration. Makes me want to goto toilet more – so urinating out impurities a bad idea? Duh drink a litre of water within first hour of getting up – you have been 8 hours asleep without hydration – instead most people take coffee (a diuretic) sucking out moisture out of your body like a sponge. If you aren’t fit you can’t feel vibrancy and sustain it. Forward Drives Take you into the Charge Charged life has three components 1. Engaged 2. Energetic 3. Enthusiastic We have gotten so entitled to things – skit about wifi on plane… Enthusiasm – you marvel at the things that are available now and in the future not take it for granted..
High Performance Academy Day 2 2.1 Choose to have the charge and be present – people can tell when you are not present. It’s not so hard to influence others – the hard part is influencing yourself. People can see it in your eyes – what have your eyes been communicating about you recently? Where are you energetically – people will either be attracted/repelled, want to buy from you/not want to buy.. Eyes are where we sense trust, energy, connection
Charged Life quadrant – Challenge, Creative Expression and Connection.
Control for New, for workflow and physical vibrancy Being productive means taking back control of your agenda in life. Most people stimulus-response and responding to other peoples agendas. MANAGE YOUR OWN AGENDA
Competence -> Confidence Loop – the more competent you become the more confident you feel
How can you strategically put in more competence in your life in various areas? –
Whether you will do something is dictated by 10 factors
1. Future Value – will it improve Wellbeing, happiness and achievement in the future? 2. Intrinsic Value – does it make you feel alive/engaged? 3. Utility Value – does it serve a useful function? 4. Opportunity Cost – if I do this then what does it take away from – people may have a good career but at the expense of family 5. Delay Time – how quick to get results – if people on diet and weight themselves at end of week and have lost nothing many will quit.. 6. Personal Control – can I handle it? 7. Social Support/Connection – are there people to cheer you on/support you? 8. Bandwidth – how busy you are – are you busy with the right things? Average American watches 4 hours of TV a day – that adds up to 13 years. A decade of your life you could have done something with. Emotion while watching TV in general = midly engaged 9. Resource Availability e.g. if cost $1000 do you have that money available? Be healthy – I don’t have a gym pass.. “It’s not about your resources it’s about your resourcesfulness”
Tony Robbins – kettle ball may cost $20 plus free videos on youtube – how much is the cable bill..? 10. Autonomy to do it myself – are you able to make the decisions.. Culturally engaged to focus on our weaknesses – one bad score on a report card,one thing done badly bought up in performance appraisal.. Competence Activators 1. Integrate Success and Progress into your identity 2. 60 Day Learning Challenge – for 60 days I’m going to go all out learning x (Speed Learning) – Challenge Yourself. Every day, every night at least an hour. Plan to do it once per year 3. CAT (Competency Attainment Programme/Protocol) - 3 Stages. a. Planning b. Performing – be hyper aware and hyper present in the performing part c. Process Have somebody do it with you – coach, friend, co-worker, spouse..outside observer who can give coaching and feedback is the accelerant. Next drive – Congruence Two factors – congruence with your life – can you make sense of your life story and congruence as in doing what you say you will do (integrity) and acting in accordance with yourself. Can do exercise where you look at each 5 year gap e.g. 0-5, 5-10 and look at the positives and negatives and how they shaped your life/what you learnt from them..events, people.. 3 Themes -
You learn what to think positive or negative about people – can you trust other people? Are other people safe? Are other people reliable – can I count on them?
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How you think about the world in general and how things turn out – is it a dark or light
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place? Is it fair or unfair? We learn about ourselves – are you good or bad, are you capable or incapable, worthy or unworthy, loved or not loved?
Can judge people not just on what they say but how they act – they may say the world is bright but act as if it unsafe Congruence Activators 1. 6 Word Standards – who are you being and how are you interacting with other people – are these 3 words being expressed – when talking with others, when doing promotional videos, … anchors for who you are.
Integrity, Energy, Motivated, Loving, Leader, Grateful
Interested, Compassionate, Loving, Present, Humorous, Bold Define what your life is about and be congruent with it. Do a 30 day challenge where look at them morning and night – how are you doing keeping in alignment with the values.. Being conscious sets you apart. About 20% of the room had words that defined them – so probably about 2% in the general population. Brendan – Present (from presence all good things flow), Enthusiastic, Bold (Had to convince myself to be bold – this was not my natural inclination) – the cool thing about self image is that it is selfdefined Your words might change as you progress through li fe With people his words are Engaged (he was really engaged with me… engaged in the moment, he was curious..),
Caring – wants people to sense that he cares Inspiring – inspire them a little bit –a story, a quote, inspire higher level of energy.. If top of mind much more likely to happen as you have focus/plan..your intentions drive behaviour and your behaviour drives destiny 2. Set a mood meter – what’s your mood should not be determined by anybody else but you. Why are you letting anything or anyone determine your mood? Consistent emotional reality about life (mood) – BB wants his mood to be upbeat, energized and excited. If you have mood swings then you have become stuck in the cage of the stimulus/response life. What does it take to enliven your mood – choice – there is nothing else that exists Use negative emotions as MOBILIZERS. Fear will always be there – mobilize it.
3. Keep your word – you can’t be congruent if you don’t keep your word. If you set the words and then you don’t do it then you aren’t congruent with the values that you chose for yourself Next Drive – Caring
3 different styles of caring – there is a pattern between how you were cared for as a child and your love life – attachment theory. The strange situation studies – replicated thousands of times in different cultures.. http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/ss/attachmentstyle_2.htm
Secure attachment – very attentive to needs then gain a secure base… likely to be more attentive to people. Opposite is true too. If you look at ads in magazines – the fashion is aloof – no connection. Comedies are not so much situational comedies but making fun of others – this is what society is feeding you but a deep need we have is care and love and affection.
In your close relationships how good are you at demonstrating care – do they feel it? Your desire to care and be cared for never ends – it goes on to the end. Don’t assume “They know” – unless you show it they don’t.
If get hurt in an emotional relationship then as love is higher spikes then the left brain can get to a point where it shuts off – right brain we can’t deal with this right now – it hurts too much and the right hand side gets weaker. If you keep pushing down emotions then it becomes a pattern in your brain and you become left brain dominant. Mindsight – book. Neuroscientist and psychologist
If we stimulate right side of brain (arouse emotions, creative expression..) we can become more caring and better cope with overwhelming emotions. Caring can be reconditioned – consistent focus and new experiences. Steve Jobs and Einstein – very loving people – caring and compassion is improved through creativity. FOCUS ON LOVE 1. Observe and Record your emotions – the more we engage with and focus on emotions the more they come through – journal (how did you feel about todays events and why) – at least once a week 2. Ask others about their feelings – sounds basic but we rarely do it (unless a coach..) – how are you feeling about life right now? 3. Forgive – highest spiritual practice – hard to do but works
If appropriate call and ask for forgiveness. Anywhere you read about love always talk about forgiveness.
Next Drive – Connection John Gottman love lab – predicts divorce over 90% of the time. Spouses talk about conflict and they watch and see. 7 Principles for making marriage work. Predicting Divorce -
Criticism and condescension ….> contempt Repair attempts – one of the partners will try and de-escalate the emotion. Does the other person accept the repair attempt or not? There are lots of different styles Differentiation – as we become more connected and know each other more – want to be seen as more independent. We try to exert control – we have free will – we want autonomy – same as teenagers we want to show our independence. E.g. a wife wants bathroom a
certain way and that’s exerting her independence. Understand what is important to the
other person. The successful couples see the faults and quirks as cute and important and that’s why they love them – they love them for their differences and not fight over them. They don’t just put up with them they accept, tolerate and support them. Celebration of
differences keeps the relationships together. Love the absurdities and weird things about your partner – eating asparagus with a fork and knife.. tease. Accepted and Love despite the fact that they are different to you. Connection Activators 1. Be Present and Curious – in any given room – the person who is most present and most curious will get more cards than others – better quality too a. Ask lots of questions – Brendan is fascinated by people – you should aswell – be curious – ask lots of questions. Are you really asking questions – are you engaging them? 2. Practice Positive Projection – the happiest couples see their partners better than they are. They hold them in a more positive light. Must have been a bad day – more likely to explain away negative situations – the partner just gets the A. Most people have heard the story of schools where had positive projection… Negative Projection leads to contempt and then that person is more likely to react that way. For every person I meet – this is a wise and magnificent person – I have a positive projection for humanity. I assume people are doing the best they can. Assume the best not the worst – that person didn’t do something to get on your nerves. We want to look at people with positive regard but through social conditioning we don’t (d’esprit de class) 3. Growth Friends – most people would say they have 1-2 Growth Friends. Why don’t we cultivate good friends more often. Active focused attention and cultivation on Growth friends not maintenance friends. You should be talking to them at least every month. How many do you think you should have? Between 3 and 5. Quality not quantity. Aim for 10 – real, intimate close friends. You don’t have friends WE MAKE FRIENDS– you generate friendship by being a friend. How often do you engage? Next drive – Change Input change into your life by purposefully putting it there. Too much control/routine leads to boredom
Reasons why may not take something on same as reasons earlier – bandwidth, opportunity cost.. Many people will give fear as the answer but what are they fearful of? A person who say gives up cigarettes it is not just the cigarettes but other things too – e.g. the breaks they have in the day – go out and take some time – take deep breaths..don’t want to lose something already enjoy – diet-> no more doritos, trips to maccie d’s..
When working with people find out what they fear losing and then try to minimize the loss/preserve what they fear losing as much as you can e.g. take a break and just do deep breaths, goto maccie d’s and have a healthier alternative.. Loss/Gain – less focus on loss and more on gain We fear process pain – it’s going to be too hard, too time consuming, too much energy. Make process manageable and with small wins and enjoyable. Process feels winnable. Outcome pain – what if I do it and it doesn’t work as well as thought it would, feel the same way – resignation sets in. Focus on optimistic size of change. Needle Movers for Change 1. Clarity – get clear what you are going to go after. Choose a hard change for yourself – challenge. Don’t make it easy – make it aspirational and enjoyable. Make a bold change – something significant . What are you going to change in your life that will inspire you?
Have a ball on the weekends – really enjoy your Fridays and Saturdays. Be the rebel rowser of your friends if required. Make the growth experiences happen by getting out there. 5 hour energy drink - come on – you should be setting yourself up with energy every day all day long. Power plant doesn’t have energy – it generates energy. This/That is a great way to get clarity about change Setup things you have to do to change based on things you already do Build new routines on back of old routines to make it easier to change. What you do want and what you don’t want. I want a million dollars – can end up with that and a wrecked life.
e.g. I want to lose weight but not workout more than 30 minutes a day and be able to eat food I enjoy at least half the week.. >This but
2. Fear of Rejection – most people can handle a competence hit to themselves but less in front of others. Rejection barely ever happens. Average significant rejections is between 3 and 5. Consider this against a backdrop of all the interactions you have had – hundreds/thousands.. If your life is guided by a fear of rejection/what others will think then you don’t understand odds and you won’t be going with me to Vegas. 7/1000 – the 7 are the oddities – the
exception to the rule..they are rare. It would be like going round worried that each person might give you the flu. 3. Courage – Attached to the heart attached to this thing – will get it no matter what. If you know what you want then you just need courage and commitment to go for it. MAKE THAT CHANGE HAPPEN!! Once you make that change happen then those naysayers go back into the dark crevices and then later come out and join the bandwagon.. Next drive – Challenge Some people in the space may say a need for contribution or growth but what is growth/where does it come from? You don’t grow unless you challenge yourself. If you stress something then you change it – with muscles and the brain. A) Singularity of Focus – this is your soul focus right now – fully engaged. That is the kind of challenges that create optimal experiences in your life/flow B) Stretch of Ability/Skill – Set them up with a dedicated focus – you are really going to go for that thing. If you want to write a book then that has to become your focus. Next 18 months focus on something and make that main thing the MAIN THING. Does it inspire you? C) Scoring of Performance – we can monitor and tell if we are getting closer to our target – milestones. Are you progressing fast enough and far enough D) You have a sense of completion. I can complete this – I can add to it and see it through – might not even see it through in your lifetime (Martin Luther King) E) Sharing of experience/Result – SILENCE IS SUFFERING - worst thing you can do is do it by yourself and keep it to yourself. Wins, challenges, losses, turmoil – social connection sustains you – doing this keeps you engaged. If there’s no social meaning it’s not so important to you. Build your life around people you can share experiences with. YOU MUST SET THIS UP. Think of a sports team – often these people will remain friends for life because of the shared experience in the challenge – the losses, the wins, the shared experiences.. Needle movers for Challenge The more challenges you knock down the further challenges you feel confident to go after and the more competence you have…interviews on radio shows before your Oprah chat
1. 30 Days 2. 30 Days 3. 30 Days 3 different types of 30 day challenges – BB sets himself a challenge every month. Most people won’t do it but for those who do you will be consistently charged. Does this mean you need to achieve all of these within 30 days? No – but setup a new challenge every 30 days. It gives you focus…e.g. For
the next 30 days I will be the most empathetic person in any room I walk into. Focus is on empathy – you may not be the most empathic person but will increase you overall empathy.
The more you challenge the more you get used to it and it makes you feel alive again.
Be the person in play – don’t be the critic. Challenge yourself!
We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too. It is for these reasons that I regard the decision last year to shift our efforts in space from low to high gear as among the most important decisions that will be made during my incumbency in the office of the Presidency…. To be sure, all this costs us all a good deal of money. This year¹s space budget is three times what it was in January 1961, and it is greater than the space budget of the previous eight years combined. That budget now stands at $5,400 million a year--a staggering sum, though somewhat less than we pay for cigarettes and cigars every year. Space expenditures will soon rise some more, from 40 cents per person per week to more than 50 cents a week for every man, woman and child in the United Stated, for we have given this program a high national
priority--even though I realize that this is in some measure an act of faith and vision, for we do not now know what benefits await us. But if I were to say, my fellow citizens, that we shall send to the moon, 240,000 miles away from the control station in Houston, a giant rocket more than 300 feet tall, the length of this football field, made of new metal alloys, some of which have not yet been invented, capable of standing heat and stresses several times more than have ever been experienced, fitted together with a precision better than the finest watch, carrying all the equipment needed for propulsion, guidance, control, communications, food and survival, on an untried mission, to an unknown celestial body, and then return it safely to earth, re-entering the atmosphere at speeds of over 25,000 miles per hour, causing heat about half that of the temperature of the sun--almost as hot as it is here today--and do all this, and do it right, and do it first before this decade is out--then we must be bold. Many years ago the great British explorer George Mallory, who was to die on Mount Everest, was asked why did he want to climb it. He said, "Because it is there." Well, space is there, and we're going to climb it, and the moon and the planets are there, and new hopes for knowledge and peace are there. And, therefore, as we set sail we ask God's blessing on the most hazardous and dangerous and greatest adventure on which man has ever embarked.
http://er.jsc.nasa.gov/seh/ricetalk.htm
