Amazing Recovery

Each time I go to a meeting, call my sponsor, read the Big Book, etc., I get a pebble. It's going to take a lot of pebbles to lay a firm foundation.

Please Note: The Twelve Steps and the excerpts from   Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 83-84, are reprinted with permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. ("AAWS") Permission to use the Twelve Steps and the excerpts does not mean that AAWS has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication, or that AAWS necessarily agrees with the views expressed therein. A.A. is a program of recovery from alcoholism only use of this material in connection with programs and activities which are patterned after  A.A., but which address other problems or concerns, or in any other non-A.A. context, does not imply otherwise.

Amazing Recovery © 2010 by Sarah W. All rights reserved.

 Amazing Recovery by Sarah W.

If you want to drink, it's your business. If you want to get sober, it's our business.

 Table of Contents: Dedication … 3 Introduction … 4 1. Your Road to Recovery … 5 2. Network of Support … 8 3. Sponsorship … 10 4. Gratitude … 14

Whatever kind of nut you are, Alcoholics Anonymous has a wrench to fit you.

5. The Steps … 19 6. Anger & Fear … 49 7. Relapse Prevention … 66 8. Meeting Makers Make It … 92 9. Sayings & Slogans … 108 10. The Promises … 112 11. Spirituality … 114 12. Service Work … 125 If someone with cancer was given a book and told, "Read this and follow the instructions and your disease will be arrested," they wouldn't hesitate. That's all we have to do, and yet we fight it.

13. Relationships … 127

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Dedication: To the newcomer - you are the most important person here! For me, this journal journal is a dream come true. In grade school, I just knew I would write a book some day. As a young adult, I always told myself that as soon as I was an expert at something, I'd write that book. After a while, I told told myself, "There's already a book on everything, so why bother?" I was drinking my dreams down the toilet. Then something happened: I got sober and shared my lifelong dream with a friend in recovery, Charlie H., who began asking me every time he saw me, "How's that book coming?" If he saw my husband, he'd ask and the message would get back to me. Thanks to all of the A.A.s of the world, especially those in St. Louis, MO, Chicago, IL at the Mustard Seed group, Puerto Vallarta Mexico and online at recoverychat.com and sobercircle.com. Thank you to Don Carroll, Geoffrey N., Joan T., John V., Kenny H., Tony M., and Rick R. for taking the time to read proofs and provide feedback. Thank you to my wonderful sponsor, Eleanor B., who has become a friend but still doesn't hold back when it's time to tell me what I need  to hear instead of what I want to hear. She encouraged me to to write this this book and chapter chapter eight is based on a book book suggestion she had for me years ago! Thanks to my husband, Tony, and our our son, Seth. We have a beautiful life together and I thank God for that every day. Tony is a patient and loving loving man, and I am truly truly blessed to have him in my life. He encourages me to follow my dream and supports me totally. Words cannot explain how I feel about Seth - I never realized how much love I had inside of me until we had our child. Watching him grow up is a truly amazing and beautiful journey that would not have been possible without recovery. Thanks Mom (R.I.P.) & Dad for not letting me get by with average work and for always encouraging me to do and be my best. You have always supported me, even when you didn't agree with my decisions. All you ever wanted wanted for me was to be happy, and today I truly am! Thanks to my brothers: Mark Mark for steering steering me into into AA, and Paul for  encouraging me to be authentic. Finally, thank you God for illuminating my work, giving me the strength to stay sober, and for all of the abundant blessings in my life! 3

Introduction (and Disclaimer): You may use this book in in any way you wish. (Who am I to tell an alcoholic what to do?) By the way, this journal is intended for anyone anyone in recovery. I have used the 12 steps of  Alcoholics Anonymous and refer to the problem as alcoholism because that is my personal reference point. However, feel free to use this with any 12 step program. Although I have over 14 years of continuous sobriety and have done so using the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, much of this book is simply my own opinion or that of  others based on our experience. Feel free to disagree with us. We are not official official representatives of Alcoholics Anonymous (although I must admit there was a time when I wanted to be the AA poster child). After developing a firm foundation in the Program, I read many books and articles to increase my understanding of alcoholism and to enhance my recovery. Many of the books I read were AA approved and many more were were not. Much of the material was published by Hazelden. Some of of the books were on spirituality and soul growth. I discussed the information with my sponsor and fellow recovering alcoholics, which helped me stay focused on my recovery. Sometimes the tendency tendency to look elsewhere carries over from our drinking days. It's more comfortable to to judge other  people's shortcomings or live live in fantasy land, than it is to analyze ourselves. I am convinced that I have become the person I always was. In other words, I am finally comfortable in my own skin. As a newcomer, I lived with with someone who drank and kept alcohol in the house. Through strong and dedicated sponsorship, I was reminded daily  to focus on my recovery and the role I played in my relationship problems. I attended Al-Anon only after I had worked my own steps and with the strong caution that I needed to continue working the steps for  my  problem. Recovery is a life-long process. We don't graduate. If, as you work through this journal, you come across a saying or something that doesn't make sense, ask your sponsor or someone else in in the Program for clarification. This  journal is for your self discovery, it is not a text book containing all of the answers. As you work through the steps, ask questions and pray, the answers will come. I often hear God talk through fellow recovering alcoholics at meetings. Your views views will probably change as your sobriety and serenity increase. Take what you can use and leave the rest, but please keep an open mind because you may need a rejected suggestion, idea or slogan in the future. Bright blessings to you as you continue on your road of recovery!

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Chapter One: Your Road to Recovery If you're new, it may be hard to believe, but some day, after you've been sober for a while, you will will be asked to tell tell your story. The reason we tell our stories to one another  is two-fold. First, we need to remember where where we came from. To forget is to risk giving ourselves permission to drink again. Second is to attract the newcomer. There is a solid bond between alcoholics because we understand each other in a way the rest of the world cannot. Telling our stories helps solidify that connection, which gives us the strength to stay sober. One of the best suggestions my sponsor ever gave me (besides attend a meeting every day and don't drink in-between) was to journal my last six months of drinking. She suggested this early on, and I eagerly followed followed her  suggestions. I was in so much pain that I would have done anything anything to relieve it. When I journaled my last six months of drinking, I added some events from prior years that should have convinced me to seek recovery earlier. Journaling was an outlet for me and it made me realize that I was an alcoholic long before I admitted it. In fact, from the the first time I drank I had problems with with alcohol. Maybe your story is a little different. What were your problems with alcohol or drugs? Three points to your story:  What was it like? (before you got sober) you seek recovery)  What happened? (while you were drinking - what made you  What is it like now? (that you're sober) What is your Story? (below please find some points to consider) Did you know you were alcoholic before you finally admitted it? • What happened the last 6 months of drinking? (or further back if there • were some big events) How do you feel about yourself? • How do you feel or what do you think about your life? • Why do you think you should stop drinking? • Are there things that you swore you’d never do, but did while under the • influence?

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Record your recovery date here:  _____________________________ 

I believe that recovery dates are important. Mine helped me not relapse because I wanted to build on that date. I have heard chronic relapsers repeatedly say, "It's the quality not the quantity." I agree with that for a newcomer and I would note that with quality sobriety, the quantity will come. See Relapse Prevention starting on page 66 for further discussion.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _________________________________________________________   _________________________________________________________  Alcohol is a  _________________________________________________________  great remover   _________________________________________________________  of things - it can remove  _________________________________________________________  stains, it can  _________________________________________________________  remove  _________________________________________________________  relationships, it  _________________________________________________________  can remove  _________________________________________________________  homes, it can remove life.  _________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Join us on the path of self discovery.  You may be surprised at what you find.  __________________________________________   ____________________________   _________________________________________   _____________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Chapter Two: Network of Support

One night in early sobriety, I couldn't sleep. Instead of counting counting sheep, I counted all of the wonderful people I met through AA. I felt comforted comforted and drifted off into a serene sleep.

All my life I wanted wanted to fit in, but I refused to conform to to do it. Now I have a place (AA) where I fit in and am accepted for who I am, quirks and all. all. As you meet people and hear their stories, please look for the similarities, not the differences. For the first 30 30 days, I announced that I was a newcomer and I received other women's phone numbers in case I felt like drinking drinking or had a question about a recovery related issue. My brain was mush, so I made notes about people so I'd remember who was was who. Feel free to record phone numbers on the chart below, and don't forget to make those calls! First Name Sponsor:

Phone Number

Notes

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Contrary to popular belief, AA is not a self-help self-help program. I could not handle this myself. If I could, I wouldn't need to be here.

First Name

Phone Number

Notes

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Chapter Three: Sponsorship Recovery is like going through a mine field. Wouldn't you you rather go through it with someone who has already been there? (a sponsor) Get a sponsor and a best friend. Why? When you have a problem, call your best friend and he'll say, "Hell, I don't know. Call your  sponsor." What is a sponsor? A sponsor will share his/her experience, strength and hope with you. you. A sponsor is someone who has gone before. Someone who has more sobriety than you and has worked the steps. A good sponsor doesn't necessarily have 25 years of sobriety. However, it is usually best ifif the person has at least a year year of  continuous sobriety and has worked the the 12 steps with with their sponsor. None of these are hard and fast rules. Most importantly, choose someone who has what you you want someone you can relate to. Actions speak louder than words, words, so watch their actions. Points to consider:  Does s/he work a good program?  Is s/he involved with AA?  Does s/he chair meetings, set up or clean up?  Is s/he consistent, stable and relatively happy?

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

If you already have a sponsor…  How is it going?  Has s/he given you a fresh perspective on a problem or situation?  What was it?  Why was your sponsor able to identify something you couldn't?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  10

A good sponsor will let you whine about your problems for  five minutes, and then tell you to DO something about it.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  Sponsor with love  ______________________________________________________________________  and compassion.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _________________________________________________   _________________________________________________  We are mirrors of   _________________________________________________  each other. If you  _________________________________________________  want to become more  _________________________________________________  positive, hang around  _________________________________________________  positive people. If you  _________________________________________________  want people around  _________________________________________________  you to become more  _________________________________________________  positive, be more  _________________________________________________  positive.  _________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Get a sponsor and call. It's your obligation to call.

You may feel uncomfortable taking someone else's time, but rest assured, you are helping your sponsor stay sober.

If things are not going well with your sponsor…  Have you been calling regularly?  If you leave a message and you're not doing ok, do you say that?  Do you give up if a game of phone tag starts? Hint: if you find yourself  playing phone tag, leave a specific time you'll be available (and answer your  phone then) or state a specific time you will call back and call at that time.  Have you been sharing honestly with her/him?  Are you really hearing what s/he has to say, or are you in denial about something?  Are you running from something? giving you what you need? For example, maybe s/he is a little  Is s/he giving blunt which hurts your feelings occasionally, but if s/he loves you enough to tell you the truth (which you need  to hear), then you should consider sticking with him/her.  Are you doing your part?  Can you live with his/her way of doing things? If not, maybe it is time for a new sponsor.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Working the Steps without a sponsor is like a small child walking up a staircase without help. You will fall.

Sponsors are people too. If your sponsor is not available and you're having a problem, call someone else. That's one reason to have a home group. Other thoughts on sponsorship…  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  Know when to share  ______________________________________________________________________  and when to care.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Chapter Four: Gratitude

Happy, Joyous and Free

A grateful heart will never drink. I thank God for AA and I thank AA for God. What are some of the things that are going well in your life? Look closely and you'll find them. Maybe it's that you didn't drink today. That's a great start! I asked my husband what his early gratitude list contained and he said a cardboard box because he was actually living on the streets before he found recovery. My first gratitude list included hot water because taking a bath was was the only way for me to to relax and be still. I recently asked my 7 year old son what he was grateful for and he answered "taste". Perhaps you have more than that to be grateful for already. Here are some ideas from my own gratitude list. sobriety • hot water  • food • utilities (funny how we take these for granted until u ntil they're gone for some reason) re ason) • coffee • clothes • Gratitude (action). If I'm grateful grateful for pets • my job, I should show up on time and music •  work hard. hard. If I'm grateful grateful for my a place to live (even if it's not the greatest) •  parents, I should call and help them a vehicle (ditto) • out whenever I can. a job/source of income (ditto) • faith •  Add your own thoughts here: hobby •  _________________________________  friends; AA fellowship •  _________________________________   _________________________________  family • 14

 _________________________________   _________________________________   _________________________________ 

Happiness is wanting what you have. As you continue your journey in sobriety, the list gets longer and longer. Add more as you realize your true blessings. You can start your gratitude list here…  ______________________________________   ______________________________________   ______________________________________   _______________________________________  I'm grateful that I no longer sleep  _______________________________________  under a bridge.  _______________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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It's happy joyous and free, not happy, OK and free.

More…more…more…  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________  What are you doing  ___________________________________________________  with what you have?  ___________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________  People complain that  ___________________________________________________  they're broke. If you  ___________________________________________________  have $5 in your pocket,  ___________________________________________________  what are you going to  ___________________________________________________  do with it? Blow itit on a  ___________________________________________________  candy bar, or buy  ___________________________________________________  bologna and bread and  ___________________________________________________  eat for a few days,  ___________________________________________________  having faith that you'll  ___________________________________________________  get what you need  ___________________________________________________  when the food runs out.  ___________________________________________________  We want a million  ___________________________________________________  friends, but what are we  ___________________________________________________  doing with the friends  ___________________________________________________  we have?  ___________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  16

I am responsible for contacting my higher power, for getting to meetings, for calling my sponsor  and telling him what's going on between my ears. I am responsible for for my recovery. If I choose to drink, I am responsible for that. My sponsor says I am responsible always for my attitude and actions.

What can you do to remain grateful? help a newcomer  • volunteer  • attend a meeting • chair a meeting • phone someone • send a nice card or note • compliment someone (it could be a complete stranger) • practice a "random act of kindness" (remember, if you get "caught" it • doesn't count)  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  I had an insatiable need to  _____________________________________________  be loved. loved. It was was never   _____________________________________________  quenched unless I drank.  _____________________________________________  Now, in AA, it feels  _____________________________________________  quenched. I finally feel  _____________________________________________  like people understand me. I finally fit in.  _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  17

 _________________________________   _____________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   __________________________________________   _____   _______________________ 

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 You never got drunk watching someone e lse drink, and you won't get sober watching someone else work the steps.

Chapter Five: The 12 Steps

The elevator to sobriety is broken, so I must use the steps.

*

During my first year in the Program, I worked through the 12 steps. Each day, I read something from the the "Big Book" (Alcoholics Anonymous) and from the "12 and 12" (Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions). I also attended Big Big Book and Step meetings to hear additional explanations of  the material and worked with my sponsor to further my understanding. This is a journey, not a destination, so I continue to apply the steps in my every-day life. Although I have included a few thoughts about working each step, the purpose here is not to explain them. There is plenty of information available in books and audio/video tapes (in addition to what you'll hear from your sponsor and in meetings). Three of my favorite books on the steps are: The Steps We Took by Joe McQ, A Woman's Way through the Twelve Steps by Stephanie S. Covington, Ph.D. and The Little Red Book by Hazelden. Hazelden also publishes individual pamphlets on each step. So, what is the purpose of of this chapter? This chapter allows allows you to document your  progress and your experiences as you work work the steps. When you have the privilege privilege of  sponsoring another recovering alcoholic, your notes will remind you what it was like. Remembering our past can prevent a relapse. Alcoholics are not slow learners, we're fast forgetters. I often compare us to a child who falls out of a tree and breaks her arm. She says, "I'll never climb that tree again." And then the the cast comes off and she resumes normal activity. After a short time, she she forgets how much it hurt and is back up in that tree. If we forget how much we were were hurting, our chances of relapse increase. One time, when I was a kid, it was my night to do dishes. I was standing there, staring at the pile of dishes for 15 people when my dad came in. He said, "There's an easy way to do this." "How?" I asked. He replied with a smile, "Start." One of my favorite meditation books is Step by Step by Muriel Zink, published by Hazelden. Each Step is discussed for an entire month month so you can saturate yourself with ideas about the step you are currently currently working. You can choose any step during any month, so it's customized just for you!

*

Please see inside front cover Note regarding permission to reprint the 12 Steps. The words in parenthesis are not part of the original steps.

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If you want what we have, you need to DO what we did! (WORK the steps)

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. (honesty) I've heard it said over and over: "Step One is the only step you can work perfectly." It is the most important step because it is is the foundation of your recovery. It's like building a house, you need a firm foundation for it to remain standing strong year after year. There are two parts to step one. I believe that Step One is is best worked if you admit that you have a problem and accept that fact. As the saying goes, "once you've been pickled, pickled, you can never become a cucumber again." The membership of AA has changed over the years. We're not all "low bottom" drunks who lost everything including their health. Some of us only lost our self-respect or the respect of loved ones. But… respect… what a thing to lose! Even if you didn't lose everything, think about it: there must be some unmanageable aspect of your life. Otherwise, why would you seek recovery? I still had my health, a house, two cars, a job and a marriage, though the last was shaky at best. Material things weren't a problem for me. However, I planned my life around alcohol. I would only hang out with people who drank and only went to places that served alcohol. alcohol. I drank before and after social events I attended. I became selfdestructive when I drank and was violent violent towards my husband. I no longer wanted wanted to live like this. I was "sick and tired of being sick and tired". You'll hear members say that people don't make it to AA by mistake. If you end up in an AA meeting, it's likely likely you have some sort of problem with alcohol. So, even if you have been "sentenced" to AA by the court system or are just attending meetings to get a nagging friend or family member off your back, why not see what recovery has to offer? There's an acronym in AA: Y.E.T. which stands for, " Y " You're ou're Eligible Too." Just because you haven't gotten that DWI yet, doesn't mean you never will. will. Our bottoms kept getting lower and lower the longer we drank. Think about it: were were you doing things at the end of your drinking that you previously swore you'd never do? I believe that everyone, including "normal" people, would benefit from working the steps. 20

Living Sober is a wonderful book for people who are new to recovery. It contains no-nonsense suggestions on the basics… how to handle cravings, how to say no to a drink, the 24-hour plan, etc. I worked Step 1 today, ______________ (date).  What did you do to work this step (read, wrote, talked to people, etc.)?  How is your life unmanageable?  Why do you think you're powerless over alcohol?  How does alcohol affect your life?  How did you feel before working Step 1?  How do you feel now?  What can you do to continue working this step in the future?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   Alcoholism is  ______________________________________________________________________  a disease that  ______________________________________________________________________  causes us to  ______________________________________________________________________  live in a way  ______________________________________________________________________  that is  ______________________________________________________________________  inconsistent  ______________________________________________________________________  with a  ______________________________________________________________________  conscience.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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There's no need to rush through the steps. It's not a race. Recovery is a life-long process. However, beware of stalling because of fear. If  you don't work the steps, a relapse is more likely.

If we accept that we don't metabolize alcohol or drugs the way "normal" people do, we'll know we can't drink or use again.

 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  Accept your addiction,  _____________________________________________  and change your   _____________________________________________  behavior.  _____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Step 1 is identifying and  ________________________________________  accepting the problem.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. (hope) When I first joined AA, I wasn't sure what I believed spiritually, but I was told that it didn't matter. People said I could start by using the group as a higher power because together they had more sobriety than I. That made sense, so that's how I began. A note of caution: be sure to use the entire group, and not just put one or two people on a pedestal. Even in recovery, people may may let you down. Initially, my expectations of  of  people (including myself) were totally unreasonable. So often it was me letting myself  down because people cannot meet any needs or address feelings I fail to communicate. I most certainly did not think I was insane. However, I did do things I was ashamed of  and I blamed alcohol. I made the choice to drink, but I didn't own own up to that right away. In meetings, I learned that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results. Perhaps I was insane after after all. I kept drinking, but I thought, "Maybe this time I won't get into a fight or do something something shameful. Maybe this time I won't forget what happened because of a blackout." I worked step 2 today, ______________ (date).  What did you do to work it?  What indications did you have that you were not sane?  Describe your Higher Power (AA group, God, etc.)?  How did you feel or what did you think before having this belief?  How do you feel or what do you think now?  What can you do to continue working this step in the future?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Came… Came to… Came to Believe  _____________________________________   _____________________________________   _____________________________________   _____________________________________   _____________________________________   _____________________________________   _____________________________________   _____________________________________   _____________________________________   _____________________________________   _____________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  Spirituality comes from within. No one can teach you.  ______________________________________________  No one can give it to you.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  24

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. (faith)

Finally Relying On God

I read from the Big Book (the Spiritual Awakening appendix and We Agnostics chapter), the Twelve and Twelve (Step 3) and said said the Third Step Prayer every day for a month. I also read sections from Came Came to Believe. I discussed these readings with with my sponsor  and after that month, she gave me the green light to move onto Step 4. I think the most important thing to remember about Step 3 is that it's simply making a decision , not actually turning everything over. I’ve seen many people become stuck on Step 3 indefinitely, saying, “I turn things over and keep taking them back.” It's probably natural to begin working working Step 3 this way. I heard it described with this analogy: analogy: Three frogs sat on a log. Two decided to jump. How many were left? Three. Sure, two of  them made a decision, but they didn't take action. action. Our opportunity to actively actively turn our  will and lives over to God begins with Step 4. In my opinion, the only real way to work work Step 3 is to make that decision and move on to Step 4. If I had waited until I turned everything over, I'd still be on Step 3 because it's a constant process. I worked step 3 today, ______________ (date). rd  How did you work it? (for example, read Came to Believe, did the 3 Step Prayer on your knees at a meeting, read the 3 rd Step for a month, etc.)  How did you feel or what did you think before working it?  How do you feel or what do you think now?  What can you do to continue working this step in the future?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  Definitions of GOD:  ______________________________________________  Group Of Drunks  ______________________________________________  Good Orderly Direction  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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I was so busy being a victim that I didn't realize I was victimizing other people. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (courage) We cannot achieve real recovery or attain freedom from bondage while harboring resentments, secrets and fears. There were times I thought I was the absolute worst worst person in the world! Working Steps 4 and 5 allowed allowed me to put things into perspective. Once you have completed the first three steps, and your sponsor gives you the green light, start Step 4 immediately. immediately. Pray for the willingness. willingness. Write something every day. I'm sure none of us enjoyed looking at our wrongs. My embarrassment and fear made me feel shameful. Throughout the process, my sponsor kept reminding me that it was was an inventory . Like a business inventory, we take into account what we have and what is is missing. Take stock of the good and the bad. It's not meant to be morbid reflection. For me, actually taking the inventory wasn't nearly as painful as my obsessive thinking  about doing it  (and doing nothing). Just do it and get it done. Be as honest as you can. Once I did Step Step 5 with my sponsor, I felt relief. My wrongs were right sized. Sure, I was at fault for some things, things, but I discovered that I was not the worst worst person in the world. I was able to forgive myself and others. The process of doing your inventory is described in the Big Book: make a list of  resentments, the cause, what part of you it affected and then acknowledge your part in the situation. Finally, look look at your fears and your sexual conduct. If you are confused about how to set this up, seek help. Your sponsor may suggest a specific format. If  not, there are many great resources on the internet. Just search for "AA 4th Step". People have created documents in many formats containing all of the information in the Big Book. Just be sure to touch base with your sponsor before you use what what you've found. The advantage to doing the Big Book version is that it is simple to complete and teach to the next person. Perhaps you don't have a lot of resentments. Non-AA approved methods including including one by Hazelden are available. The Hazelden version I completed contained hundreds of  questions, which may scare some newcomers away. away. The AA chart is is simple and more direct. I am not not here to endorse or condone any one method. All I'm here to say is, if  the Big Book version isn't working, try something else that's recovery-based. The saying, "If you don't do your fourth step, you'll drink your your fifth," is true. I've seen it happen too many times to count, and some people don't get a second chance at recovery. Whatever you do, please don't take your recovery for granted. I worked step 4 today, ______________ (date).  What did you do to work it?  How did you feel or what did you think before working it?  How do you feel or what do you think now?  What can you do to continue working this step in the future?

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 ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  I got to grow up out  _______________________________________________  loud in the rooms of   _______________________________________________  AA.  _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________  It never occurred  ___________________________________________________________________  to me that I don't  ___________________________________________________________________  have to have an  ___________________________________________________________________  opinion or take a  ___________________________________________________________________  side.  ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  Recovery is not  ______________________________________________  about not drinking.  You have to uncover   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  to recover. Look at  ______________________________________________  your festering  ______________________________________________  wounds.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   __________________________________________   __________________________________________  Expectations are resentments  __________________________________________  under construction.  __________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  It doesn't make me  ______________________________________________  better to know what  ______________________________________________  your defects are. I  ______________________________________________  need to know mine.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Fear is at the bottom of all of   ________________________________________  our defects.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Do the footwork and let God handle the rest. 99% of the Program is just hanging in there!

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of  our wrongs. (integrity) I think it’s best to share our fifth step with our sponsors, not a stranger. A stranger can’t warn us when old behavior starts to creep in again. In working this step, I realized (because my sponsor didn’t overreact to anything I shared) that I wasn’t as bad as I thought. Sometimes I feared I was the worst person on Earth because of what I did. This step helped me put put things into perspective. Of course, I was wrong for the hurtful and dishonest things I did, and I needed to to acknowledge them. However, I didn't need to beat myself up. (Just remember, making amends comes later.) After meeting meeting with with my sponsor, I went home and spent some time alone to consider everything I had shared and to ensure I didn't leave anything out. Once I was was satisfied that everything was on the table, I burned my fourth step. Please note: you will need a list of all persons you had harmed for Step 8, so if you plan to burn your 4 th Step and are concerned about remembering names, you can jot them down before the inferno. I worked step 5 today, ______________ (date).  When and where did you work it?  With whom did you share your fifth step?  How did you feel or what did you think before working it?  How do you feel or what do you think now?  What can you do to continue working this step in the future?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _________________________________________   _________________________________________  We live in our heads and talk to  _________________________________________  ourselves way too much. We need to talk to others to get  _________________________________________  perspective.  _________________________________________   _________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  I  ______________________________________________________________________  am responsible not only  ______________________________________________________________________  for what I have done in the  ______________________________________________________________________  past, but for what I am  ______________________________________________________________________  going to do TODAY.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. (willingness) Over the years, I've found that I revert back to old behavior if I'm not paying attention. For example, one of my defects of character is tardiness. I may pray, become ready to be on time and follow through for months, but before I know it, I'm running late again. It's so easy to slip back into old behaviors. That is why why there is is no final cure for  alcoholism. We don't graduate from recovery. We need to remain aware aware of our disease and behavior to stay diligent about working working the Program. Sometimes we have defects that we like. Directing the show is one of these for me. Sometimes in in my job it's it's necessary to run the show. However, if I do this this all of the time, I don't allow people to blossom and develop their own leadership leadership potential. Many times, it's appropriate for me not to direct the situation. situation. People can become resentful if I'm always taking charge. I worked step 6 today, ______________ (date).  What did you do to become ready? (for example: pray, meditate, journal)  How did you feel or what did you think about your character defects before? (for example: was unaware of them, or was ashamed)  How do you feel or what do you think about them now? (realize I'm human, they disgust me, they are not a part of who I aspire to become)  What can you do to continue to be ready? (pray, meditate, take inventory,  journal, etc.)  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  My defects have character!  _____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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EGO = easing God out

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. (humility) I have always said that the first step before making a change is awareness. Once we become aware of our defects and how they affect those around us, we can become willing to change them. Step 7 is is the final step where we tap into the larger energy, whether it be God consciousness, universal energy or the group to help us. I was so focused on other people's shortcomings and behavior that I was not willing or able to look at my own. Through taking my inventory and sharing it with an unbiased third party who had my best interest at heart, I was able to look at my  part in things. This takes willingness and practice, but the result is a freedom I cannot describe!

Humility is not the opposite of pride. It's the opposite of selfcentered fear.

I worked step 7 today, ______________ (date).  What did you do to work it?  How did you feel or what did you think before working it?  How do you feel or what do you think now?  What can you do to continue working this step in the future?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  Humility is not thinking  _____________________________________________  less of yourself.  _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  It's thinking of yourself   _____________________________________________  less.  _____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Ask God to remove the  ________________________________________  defects that others find  ________________________________________  objectionable.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Just take your list from Step 4 and pass it by your sponsor. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. (brotherly love) Depending on the day and time, I either owed NO ONE an amends (because I was only reacting to how poorly other people treated me) or I owed the WHOLE WORLD an amends (because I was such a terrible person - and I was so important that I could do without a sponsor. that much harm). Whatever you do, please DO NOT do this step without You need to work with someone who is objective. Also, don’t worry about how  you're going to make make the the amends. You don't don't need to to know. know. Sometimes in Step 9 your  sponsor will tell you not to make an amends, sometimes you make living amends, and sometimes you have to wait wait for the right opportunity to make an amends. I believe in divine order - when it's time time to make the amends, an opportunity will present itself. If  you are willing, willing, you will notice the opportunity. Just make the list and pray for  willingness. I worked step 8 today, ______________ (date).  What did you do to work it?  How did you feel or what did you think before working it?  How do you feel or what do you think now?  What can you do to continue working this step in the future?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Do you want to be right or   ________________________________________  do you want to be happy?  ________________________________________   ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________   ___________________________________________  Sticks and stones can break  ___________________________________________  your bones but words can  ___________________________________________  break your heart.  ___________________________________________   ___________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. (justice) Making amends is not simply saying, “I’m sorry.” It’s saying, “I was was wrong,” (which is more difficult) and changing your behavior. I think it's trickiest when you have to make amends to someone who owes you amends. My sponsor advised me not face anyone unless and until I could acknowledge my part in it, change my behavior, and say nothing  about the other person’s part. In other words, remove the “but”. Amends aren’t, “I’m sorry I did this, but I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t _______.” Own your stuff. The beauty in this is that you can control your thoughts and actions. The other person’s behavior and actions are irrelevant. Ask yourself, what can I do to remedy this situation without causing further harm? If the answer is nothing, you make a living amends, which is changing your behavior from this point forward and looking for opportunities to be of service to others. If you owe a deceased person amends, you could make a living living amends or write them a letter. letter. Your sponsor may have other ideas. Some amends will be well received and others may not. Remember, we are not doing any of this for the other person. We are doing it for ourselves, for our self respect and peace of mind. Of course, we hope we are well received, and we we usually are, but in the end, it doesn't matter. We need to try to set things right. If money is involved, we need to face up to that and make it right, too. An interesting note... I'm not sure this is everyone's experience, but when I first worked this step, there were some people I searched for who I couldn't find. I remained willing to make amends and sometimes sometimes many years later, they appeared from nowhere. If you make the effort to find them but can't, remain willing and please don’t be discouraged. I worked step 9 today, ______________ (date).  What did you do to work it?  How did you feel or what did you think before working it?  How do you feel or what do you think now?  What can you do to continue working this step in the future?  Did you make any amends that you swore you never would do?  How did you feel when you made your first amends?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  It takes two to reconcile.  _____________________________________________  It only takes one to make  _____________________________________________  amends.  _____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _________________________________________   _________________________________________  When making amends, don't  _________________________________________  say, "I'm sorry." sorry." Everyone has heard that a million times.  _________________________________________  Say, "I was wrong ." ."  _________________________________________   _________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. (perseverance) Before AA, when I was wrong, it was was downright painful. I would blow the situation way out of proportion before dealing with it, ifif I did at all. I'd blame others whenever whenever possible and I truly believed it was their fault I reacted  a certain way. I didn't realize I could choose not to react and that whatever I did (or didn't do) was was my responsibility. After  taking my daily personal inventory for a while, there were less and less amends to make. Working Step 10 became a good habit and a new way of life. I cannot describe the freedom that admitting my mistakes provides. I have found that this attitude of  honesty spreads to others who become willing to admit their mistakes more readily too. Step 10 not only helps us break old patterns, but allows us to see our progress as well. We are able to move on quickly and eliminate the burden, guilt, worry and shame. "Moving on quickly" is the opposite of beating yourself yourself up. When you recognize some behavior that you wish you had handled differently, redo the scenario in your head with a positive outcome. Tell yourself, "Next time I will…" will…" One word of caution: the fact that we admit our part doesn't release us from the responsibility to continue to work on self-improvement. In other words, words, you can't hide behind this this step, continuously behaving badly and saying, "Oops… sorry." That's not true growth. Also in relationships, remember that you typically get what what you give. Therefore, if your partner  or friend says they're sorry and you don't let it go, you can expect the same reaction when you apologize. I worked step 10 today, ______________ (date).  What did you do to work it?  How did you feel or what did you think before working it?  How do you feel or what do you think now?  What can you do to continue working this step in the future?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  If I'm lying to any of   ______________________________________________  you, I'm lying to  ______________________________________________  myself about  ______________________________________________  something.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________   You get out of life  ________________________________________   ________________________________________  what you put into it.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. (spiritual awareness) The Big Book suggests that we should review our day at bedtime and examine our  thoughts and actions, asking ourselves if our motives were pure or self serving and whether we were honest. If we were were selfish or dishonest, we we ask God for forgiveness and inquire about corrective measures. In the morning, we think about the upcoming day and ask God to direct our thinking. The Book says to relax and take it easy, but how the heck are we supposed to do that when we're wound tight? tight? Some people start their day by reading a page-a-day meditation book. One of my favorites is Walk in Dry Places published by Hazelden. Here are some ideas I've heard: Quiet your mind by exercising, washing dishes or cleaning the house. • Connect with your animals - walk your dog or pet your cat. • Light a candle and focus on the flame. Listen to a fountain. • Use mantras or affirmations. • Listen to uplifting music. • Interact with nature by gardening, walking, collecting shells or rocks, etc. • Enjoy art - dance, paint, draw, create sculptures, write, etc. • I've heard it said that prayer is asking and meditation meditation is listening. God's will becomes apparent when we open our hearts and and maintain a spirit of cooperation. cooperation. Sometimes you know what the answer is, is, but you don't know where where to begin. Ask, and then look for  signs of what to do do next. I receive many answers when I truly listen to other people's stories or problems. Meetings are a good place place for this. If I'm too focused on on what I'm going to say next, I will miss miss an important message. The message can come from anyone - even someone you dislike or don't connect with. I started working on step 11 today, ______________ (date).  What did you do to work it?  How did you feel or what did you think before working it?  How do you feel or what do you think now?  What can you do to continue working this step in the future?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  43

 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ____________________________________________   ____________________________________________  We are human beings  ____________________________________________  not human doings.  ____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ____________________________________   ____________________________________   ____________________________________  Learn to just be. Don't confuse  ____________________________________  being with boring.  ____________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. (service) There are many ways to be of service and here are just a few ideas to get you started: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

clean the meeting place empty ash trays make coffee be a greeter  type a phone list or meeting minutes for your home group provide transportation for those who can't get to a meeting add your phone number to a newcomer's packet say hello to someone you don't recognize correspond with a recovering person in prison take a meeting into a hospital, half-way house or prison volunteer at a service office to answer phones or stuff mail be one of the contacts for people new to town help with your local central office's website chair meetings become a representative for your group or district

After working the steps, you can sponsor others in the Program and share your  experience, strength and hope. You can go on a 12-step call (but remember to always bring another recovering alcoholic to stay safe.) It's pretty easy to carry the message and practice these principles in the rooms of AA, but when you go out into the real world, it's a little trickier. trickier. The top three places I hear  most people complain about their challenges are:

traffic!

~

at home!

~

at work!

Step 12 allows me to connect with other people. Using the tools I have been given, I learned to apply the appropriate step to the current situation. It becomes automatic. Sometimes I feel my calm slipping away and my defenses rising, so I look at what I've been doing (or not doing) and make the necessary adjustments. Helping other people, not just alcoholics, puts things into into perspective for me. me. The Serenity Prayer is a great way for me to take a moment to regroup and remember what I can control: me. What works for you?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  45

I began working step 12 today, ______________ (date).  How did you start?  How did you feel or what did you think before working it?  How do you feel or what do you think now?  What can you do to continue working this step in the future?  ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  Helping someone else allows us to strike a  _______________________________________________  balance. When we're too  _______________________________________________  prideful, it gets us out of   _______________________________________________  ourselves and when we're  _______________________________________________  down, it makes us feel  _______________________________________________  better.  _______________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________________________ 

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Which step did you resist the most?  Looking back, was it as bad as you expected?  Do you have any suggestions for other people in recovery who are facing that step?  Which step helped you the most?  What was most satisfying step to complete?  Were there any surprises?  Was there anything you swore you’d never do, but did?  What was the outcome?  ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________________________  

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  I thought I was much more important to other   _______________________________________________  people's survival that I  _______________________________________________  really was. If you are are the  _______________________________________________  only person to save  _______________________________________________  someone, they're already  _______________________________________________  beyond saving.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  I was a total total control freak. It took a  ________________________________________  while, but I finally figured out that  ________________________________________  everything would be just fine  ________________________________________  without me running the show.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Live easy and know that I am God.

Chapter Six: Anger and Fear

When I came into AA, I didn't know what what to do with my anger. I had a terrible temper  temper  which would erupt all over my husband. I would would yell, slam doors and throw things. I didn't know how to express my feelings without becoming dramatic. Every perceived or  real past transgression spewed forth from my mouth. When I stopped drinking, the dynamics of my relationship with him didn't automatically change. I continued to act and react in in the same manner. I had to work at becoming calm and serene. My sponsor taught me that reacting was a choice. If he was pushing my buttons, I needed to look at why there were buttons to push. I couldn't control someone else's actions, but I could  control my own. He could say whatever he wanted but I didn't didn't have to say anything in return. I could call my sponsor. I didn't have to stay in the house - I could leave leave and go to a meeting. If it happened late at night, I could pray. I could journal. I could take a hot bath. There are many ways ways to deal with with anger. I could even write him a letter to to express my feelings. (A word of caution of  caution on angry while you're angry! After you calm down, letters… please keep the contents to yourself while you may review them with your sponsor. S/he can help you you determine whether further  action is warranted. Many, if not most, angry letters should be safely safely discarded.) Until I have some empathy for the people I have resentments against, I can't be free.

In recovery, I've learned to disassociate anger from action. 49

How were you raised to deal with anger? Was it something to be hidden and squelched?  Did your parents fight in front of you?  What are some of the things that make you you angry today? Why?  Does your anger stem from reacting to a particular person or situation?  How often do you get angry?  How do you deal with your anger?  Could you deal with anger in a more positive way? How?  Have you changed how you deal with it since you've been sober?  What Program tools can you use to deal with anger?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  Anger is fear that you will lose:  ______________________________________________________________________  - power   ______________________________________________________________________  - money  ______________________________________________________________________  - love  ______________________________________________________________________  Serenity is detachment.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  We have three enemies:  ______________________________________________  anger, resentments and  ______________________________________________  fear. Anger is when we  ______________________________________________  don't get our way now.  ______________________________________________  Resentment is when we  ______________________________________________  didn't get our way in the  ______________________________________________  past. Fear is when we  ______________________________________________  think we're not going to  ______________________________________________  get our way tomorrow.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  Guilt is brooding over  things we could have  ______________________________________________________________________  done differently in the  ______________________________________________________________________  past. The thing is, we  ______________________________________________________________________  can't change the past.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  Anger is like an acid  ______________________________________________  eating its container.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Feelings are not facts.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  Sometimes I get angry  ______________________________________________  because nothing else is  ______________________________________________  going on and I need that  ______________________________________________  adrenaline rush. The solution is to determine  ______________________________________________  who needs to hear from me  ______________________________________________  or who I need to talk to.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  When I was new in the  ________________________________________  Program, I was afraid that  ________________________________________  if I cried, I wouldn't be  ________________________________________  able to stop.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  If you are patient in  ______________________________________________  one moment of   ______________________________________________  anger, you will  ______________________________________________  escape 100 days of   ______________________________________________  sorrow.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   __________________________________________   __________________________________________   __________________________________________  Courage is not the absence of fear:  __________________________________________  it is facing the fear and walking  __________________________________________  through it. No one does anything to us unless we allow it. No one  __________________________________________  can make us feel happy unless we  __________________________________________  allow it. No one can make us feel  __________________________________________  sad unless we allow it.  __________________________________________   __________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Once I began to deal with my anger, I realized that a lot of it was fear-based. I learned that the key to dealing with fear is to stay in in today as much as possible. Fear kicks in when we're projecting negative results about tomorrow. We can get through anything for one day. Some of the negative things I used to obsess about actually did come to pass. Guess what? what? I survived, and I stayed sober. As long as we we stay sober, it is never as bad as we imagined. And, as my sponsor always said, worrying worrying about it won't stop it from happening. If something bad does happen, you've wasted a bunch of time worrying about it and now you get to spend even more time actually dealing with it. Some of the things I used to worry about that caused fear: What did I do last night? • How did I get home? • Next time you fly off the handle, What if I run out of booze? • ask yourself what you're afraid of. What if I make a mistake? • What do people really think of me? • Why is the boss having that closed door meeting? • What if my spouse leaves me for someone else? • What are some of the things you used to fear?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Definitions of FEAR:  ________________________________________  F_ _k Everything And Run  ________________________________________  False Events Appear Real  ________________________________________  Forgotten Everything Is All Right  ________________________________________  Face Everything And Recover   ________________________________________   ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  55

Before: feel, act on it, think about it Now: feel, think about it, act on it What are some of the things you fear now? Date: ______________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Fear and Faith can live together, What’s your part  in it? it's just a matter of what you are Procrastination • paying attention to. Isolation • Stinking Thinking • Selfishness • Doing too much •  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  57

What tools can you utilize when you have fears?

 Your Toolbox Prayer  Meditation Reading Recovery or Spiritual Books Working the Steps  Meetings  Being Sponsored  Sponsoring Others Instead of a closet full of skeletons,  Journaling you get a closet full of tools when  Balanced Life you work the Program.  Healthy Diet  Exercise  Enough Sleep  Setting Goals  Creating To-do Lists (and utilizing them)  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________     

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Use the space below to write a commitment to yourself about dealing with fears in the future.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Don't pole vault over mouse turds. When experiencing fear, ask yourself:  How important is it?  What’s the worst that can happen?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________  You're the head of the  _______________________________________________  Committee: Adjourn the  _______________________________________________  meeting!  _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What does Stinking Thinking mean to you?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Everything I need is out there somewhere, so I ask myself, "Where is the solution today?" It's not in my head, and not in the bottle. What is your usual Stinking Thinking topic?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  LIVE IN THE SOLUTION  What Program tools can you utilize to arrest that type of thinking?  What non-program tools can you utilize?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  Of all the things you  ______________________________________________  wear, your expression  ______________________________________________  is the most important.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________   _____________________________________  If you're so happy, tell your face.  _____________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 You attract to your life what you focus on. If you are fighting alcohol, you are focusing on alcohol and therefore you are attracting thoughts of drinking. If you accept  that you are alcoholic and can no longer drink normally, then you’re not focusing on alcohol which makes it easier to stay sober. We live in a drinking society. I’m thankful that I had a no-nonsense sponsor who helped me see that other people’s drinking was not my problem. Even if people drink like like I did, it’s none of of my business. The whole world world doesn’t need to get sober with me! No one needs to understand my alcoholism except for me. It’s my problem, not theirs. Sure, it’s nice to have family support, but it isn’t necessary for you to stay sober. I believe it's necessary to have the support of people in AA and I believe face-to-face meetings are most beneficial. However, I have heard and read about about people who do not have local meetings available who stay sober through online meetings, utilizing AA’s “Grapevine” magazine and the other AA literature. literature. If you have meetings meetings available in the area, why not utilize utilize them? You may as well give yourself the best chance possible! Another way to give yourself a better chance is to change things that might trigger  thoughts of a drink. If you had a particular room in your home where you drank, rearrange it. For example, move the kitchen table. Change your routine. If you drank after work, go to a meeting at that time. time. Put your Big Book where where you kept your alcohol.  You are responsible for  the consequences of  your decisions. I am responsible for my choices, both past and present. When I focus on recovery and how great it’s going to be, that’s what I get. get. When I focus on how terrible things things are, I get more of that. When I was new, I realized that there was some wreckage from past decisions to clean up. I worked worked the steps to handle that. However, I also needed to focus on my current decisions. AA taught me to be there for other members members when they are hurting. When I ask my higher power to show me what the next step is, I’m shown the way. If I hang around people who belittle others, I draw that energy towards myself. When I focus on other people’s positive aspects, I feel more positive. positive. After I worked with this for a while, my negative friends stopped calling. I didn’t need to have a huge confrontation and tell them it wasn’t healthy for me to stick around them: they simply slipped away. Own responsibility for  yourself and your  happiness. Visualize successful sobriety. What will will it look like? How will you feel? What will will you think? Take a moment each day to be grateful for the opportunity to experience freedom from alcohol and drugs and to feel the excitement of your new life. When you are having a tough day, make a conscious decision to start your day over. If your life isn’t as great as you had hoped, focus on helping someone less fortunate or with less sobriety. Ask happy people what what they do to remain positive. positive.

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  The more you distance yourself from someone to  _______________________________________________  protect yourself from  _______________________________________________  getting hurt, the more  _______________________________________________  intimacy you deny  _______________________________________________  yourself.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  One day, a friend said, Other   ________________________________________  people's opinions of you are none  ________________________________________  of your business. I didn't  ________________________________________  understand, so she asked if I liked everyone. Well, no not really, I  ________________________________________  had to admit to myself. So why do  ________________________________________  you expect everyone to like you?  ________________________________________  What a revelation!  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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The only way for me to be around healthy people is for me to be healthy.  What have you done to be healthy?  Describe your friends: I didn't get sober to be miserable. o Are their lives serene and happy? Are your friends' lives chaotic? o  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Chapter Seven: Relapse Prevention

My disease tells me lies every chance it can.

We never see people or  situations as they truly are. We see them as we are. Don't compare your  insides to someone's outsides. You might be amazed to discover their  fears and insecurities.

The higher my expectations, the lower my serenity. If I'm not working on my recovery, I'm working on my relapse.

As soon as you think you're alone, you'll relapse.

(Living Sober) Since I attended my very first AA meeting in 1996, I have have not relapsed. I am not better  than those who have. I am blessed blessed and I do the footwork. footwork. I have a home group and a sponsor and I have sponsored others. I pray. I remain grateful. When attending meetings, I listen to those fortunate enough to have made it back from a relapse. Upon returning, people don't always say they were having problems just prior to relapsing. Some people relapsed in celebration. Some people relapsed relapsed simply because life got boring. They didn't know how to handle a plateau with with no drama surrounding them, so they made some happen. But so far, all of them have said that they stopped utilizing some of the the key tools. Praying and meetings meetings are usually at the top of the the list. They lost sight of their disease. I sponsored a woman who relapsed and I saw it coming because her attitude was reverting back to the victim mentality. She was putting herself in slippery situations and worrying more about having a romantic relationship than maintaining her sobriety. I warned her, but when people make up their minds, there's little we we can do. Fortunately, she made it back alive. Others - close friends - have not. This is the real deal. If you relapse, it's like playing Russian Roulette. You may make it back, and you may not. 66

Perhaps you never drove drove drunk. That doesn't mean you won't won't if you choose to drink again. Why risk it? Another AA said said that he thinks when you relapse and make make it back, it's easier to relapse again because you got away with it once. When I was new in the Program and would hear people's stories and they'd talk about losing jobs because they simply didn't show up for work. I just didn't get it. Then one day, I heard a man talk and he said that he had always been a functional alcoholic and was always very responsible concerning work. His job had never been in jeopardy. Then one time after getting drunk, he woke up up two days later. Finally it dawned on me:  just because it hadn't happened didn't mean it wouldn't if I decided to drink again. At meetings, you will hear that the disease continues to progressively worsen even while we're sober. If they make itit back, people who have relapsed say that it's worse worse out there - it's as if they had never stopped drinking. Their tolerance levels are greater  and alcohol is harder harder on them physically, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Most also quickly lost any material wealth they had acquired while in the Program. Your disease may tell you, "Having a drink is no big deal. Wouldn't it be nice to to just relax for a while?" while?" Our job is to see through the lies we tell ourselves and challenge these thoughts by looking at our past honestly. When thoughts of the better days of  drinking sneak up on us, we need to use the tools the Program has has given us. If you   journaled your story when you were a newcomer, read it. Think about how you you felt. Think about the things you did that were embarrassing or hurtful. Think about what your  life was like, but be realistic. realistic. One AA used to say his sponsor would tell him, him, if you want to go drink, first throw yourself down the steps, then urinate on yourself, and you may remember what it was like to drink. Our magic magnifying minds sometimes glamorize our drinking days. days. Why? What lies does your mind try to tell you?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Sometimes pain is necessary. Suffering is optional.

Your misery is refundable.

Consider some of the things that could lead to relapse:  over confidence  complacency It's easier to stay sober   resentments than it is to get sober   emotional disturbances or victim mentality again.  frequently being around alcohol or drugs  isolation or loneliness  extra money  not utilizing the tools (AA friends, sponsor, steps, meetings, literature, etc.) What else can lead to relapse?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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The slip starts in our thinking way before we ever take a drink. What triggers your thoughts of drinking?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What situations are slippery for you?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  How can you avoid putting yourself in these situations?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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I'm a drunk away from a drink and drink away from a drunk.

Don't leave before the miracle happens.

Are you putting your sobriety in jeopardy? How?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What can you do to strengthen your program?  ____________________________________________   ____________________________________________  If you have a problem,  ____________________________________________  don't show up without your   ____________________________________________  tools.  ____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What is your largest problem today? Date: ________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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When thinking about drinking, instead of thinking I shouldn't drink, say, "I'm NOT going to drink."

Waking up one day thinking it would be nice to have a drink is ok. ok. Waking up one day and thinking it's OK to have a drink is not ok.

What have you done to solve it?  What Program tools would help?  What non-Program tools can you utilize?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What would your sponsor (or someone else you admire in the Program) do in the same situation?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Now, journal the challenges in your life life during the coming months. Hopefully you are facing different challenges. If you are dealing with the same situations situations over and over, you might want to take a look at your part in it and think about why you are attracting that into your life. Ask yourself (and others) how you can strengthen your Program. What is your largest problem today? Date: ________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  Your solutions will change also! What have you done to solve it?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What is your largest problem today? Date: ________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What have you done to solve it?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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What is your largest problem today? Date: ________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What have you done to solve it?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What is your largest problem today? Date: ________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What have you done to solve it?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What is your largest problem today? Date: ________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Personal responsibility. No one else can make you drink. Watch your thoughts. What are you telling yourself? What have you done to solve it?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What is your largest problem today? Date: ________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What have you done to solve it?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What is your largest problem today? Date: ________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What have you done to solve it?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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What is your largest problem today? Date: ________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What have you done to solve it?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What is your largest problem today? Date: ________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  What have you done to solve it?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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How have you seen your problems and challenges change over the last few months?  What advice would you have for someone new in recovery who is facing similar problems?  If given the chance to do it again, is there anything you would do differently?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  

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The difference between an alcoholic and a nonalcoholic is that non-alcoholics will change their  behavior to meet their goals. Alcoholics will will change their goals to meet their behavior. List reasons alcohol disagrees with you. What are some of the things you don't miss about drinking?  saying things you don't mean  drinking and driving The bottom was falling out faster   making a big deal out of nothing than I could lower my standards.  allowing people to treat you poorly  being abusive  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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There's nothing so bad that a drink won't make it worse.

Listen to people who have relapsed and made it back. (It's very important to remember that not all all do!) Try to be open and not judge them. Perhaps they worked a good Program at one point but stopped doing what they needed to do.  What do they say? (Specifically look at their thinking and what actions they took or didn't take to maintain their sobriety.)  What happened just prior to their relapse?  Did drinking improve their lives?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Have you followed these suggestions to have a strong foundation?  change your playmates (drinking buddies)  change your playground (drinking places)  get a sponsor   join a home group (and be active, even if it's just making coffee or greeting people)  pour out your stash (with someone else present)  beware of drinking occasions (until you have a firm foundation)  journal your last drunk If not, why are you resisting?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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What are some ways to handle cravings?  eat something sweet  go to a meeting  pray (the Serenity Prayer works well)  call someone in Recovery  journal

There are only three things you need to change: 1) Everything you say; 2) Everything you do; and 3) Everything you think.

Add your own ideas here: _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________  If you push and push,  _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  and the door doesn't  _______________________________________________  open, it's not God's  _______________________________________________  will. If you gently  _______________________________________________  push and the door   _______________________________________________  opens, it is God's  _______________________________________________  will.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Success is not permanent  ________________________________________  neither is failure.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________  The most important  ______________________________________________  thing I need to know  ______________________________________________  about the disease of   ______________________________________________  alcoholism is that I  ______________________________________________  have it and there is a  ______________________________________________  solution.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Alcoholism is a disease,  ________________________________________  meetings are my prescription,  ________________________________________  and it costs $1 per dose.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  Old ideas are never   ______________________________________________  that old. We're a  ______________________________________________  thought away from a  ______________________________________________  drunk.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________   ___________________________________________  Breathe in and out and  ___________________________________________  don't drink in-between.  ___________________________________________   ___________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  In recovery you can do anything you want  ______________________________________________  to do, but you have to  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  be willing to pay the  ______________________________________________  price.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  If we don't take care of our   ________________________________________  emotional sobriety, we will  ________________________________________  drink again.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  On spirituality:  _______________________________________________  Unless you find  _______________________________________________  something that  _______________________________________________  makes you feel as  _______________________________________________  good as drinking,  _______________________________________________  you'll drink again.  _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________  The difference between a stepping stone  ________________________________  and a stumbling block is my attitude.  ________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  Take your sobriety  ______________________________________________  seriously, but don't  ______________________________________________  take yourself too  ______________________________________________  seriously.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Alcoholism is the only  ________________________________________  disease that tells you you  ________________________________________  aren't sick.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  The goal is not to stop  ______________________________________________  the storm, but to be  ______________________________________________  comfortable in the  ______________________________________________  midst of it.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  My frame of mind  _____________________________________________  determines how I feel.  _____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________  My pet peeve is when  ______________________________________________  people share their   ______________________________________________  problems at a meeting  ______________________________________________  and then leave. Dump  ______________________________________________  and go. How can you hear the solution if you  ______________________________________________  leave?  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  I thought my two cents were  ________________________________________  worth a nickel.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  Learn to accept not  ______________________________________________  to expect.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  A good idea can't enter a  ________________________________________  closed mind.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  On relapse: My  ______________________________________________  thinking only turns  ______________________________________________  into action if I give it  ______________________________________________  that much power.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  A feeling only lasts for   ________________________________________  seven seconds unless you  ________________________________________  feed it with a thought.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  There are only two  ______________________________________________  reasons to feel pain:  ______________________________________________  1. guilt; and 2. not  ______________________________________________  accepting God's will.  ______________________________________________  Working the steps  ______________________________________________  will help you deal  ______________________________________________  with both of these.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  We all graduated from MSU:  ________________________________________  Making Stuff Up  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Chapter Eight: Meeting Makers Make It (things I've heard at meetings)

Get in the middle of the boat. Have you ever noticed that no matter what meeting you attend, you always hear exactly what you need to? Coincidence? I think not! Let me first say that I am so grateful to get sober in a community where there are over  700 meetings a week. There really is is no excuse for me not to go to meetings. However, if you are in a community where there aren't as many meetings, you can supplement with with online meetings. I said supplement  on purpose. While I think online meetings can be useful and even save you from drinking at times, I think it is dangerous to use these as your only method of support because you are less less accountable. It is vital to learn to look people in the the eye and tell the truth. You could start a new meeting in your community! The other thing to keep in mind is that true recovery comes from actually attending meetings, not hanging around in an AA facility and playing cards. I've seen a lot of chronic relapsers die because they never made the effort to stop playing cards and start attending meetings, get a sponsor, and work the steps. When I was new in AA, my sponsor (and everyone else) strongly suggested  that I attend 90 meetings in in 90 days. I did that. After the 90 days were over, I called my sponsor and said, Ok, now what? She said, Well, it's more like 365 meetings in 365 days, so I continued going to at Take your problems to least one meeting daily for my first few years of sobriety. your sponsor. Take your  solutions to a meeting. My life was still a mess, so many times I'd attend more than one meeting a day or just hang out in an AA facility or  coffee house with with recovering people and enjoy the fellowship. My sponsor suggested that I make a schedule with a regular daily meeting time and a back up time in case I couldn't make the regular meeting for some reason. This eliminated any thinking and made attending meetings automatic. The more time I have time to think about about it, the 92

easier it is to talk myself out of going because… I'm tired, it's too cold outside, I have other things to do, etc. Before traveling, I always find the local meetings. I've attended meetings in other states and even other countries! Non-alcoholic friends of mine often ask why why I still attend meetings. meetings. I always say it’s not primarily so I don’t drink any more. It’s like church is for religious religious people. I go to to remember that I’m just a tiny spec in this vast vast universe. When I forget that (and I sometimes do), I become very important, and the more important I become, the larger  my problems become. I start to think think what I’m going through today will matter in a year. Throughout this journal journal I have included some of my favorite quotes. What do they mean to you? Add your own quotes as your recovery progresses.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  My job is to show up and  _______________________________________________  tell the truth, not change anything or fix anyone.  _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  It gets better. What is it?  _______________________________________________  Is it life? Is it financial?  _______________________________________________  No, it is you. You get better.  ______________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _________________________________________   _________________________________________  If you don't like a meeting, figure  _________________________________________  out what you can do to add value.  _________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________  If it's not my  ___________________________________________________  experience, strength and hope, I probably  ___________________________________________________  shouldn't be sharing  ___________________________________________________  it at a meeting.  ___________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   __________________________________________________   __________________________________________________  The more we try to  __________________________________________________  control, the more we  __________________________________________________  lose control. The most most powerful person in the  __________________________________________________  room is the one who is  __________________________________________________  least upset.  __________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  I used to wake up in a mood  _______________________________________________  and that continued to be my  _______________________________________________  mood for the entire day. In  _______________________________________________  recovery, we get to start our   _______________________________________________  day over and change it for the  _______________________________________________  better.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ____________________________________________   ____________________________________________  I've figured out over time that  ____________________________________________  when things don't happen,  ____________________________________________  they weren't supposed to.  ____________________________________________  And nothing you can do will make it it happen. When things  ____________________________________________  are supposed to happen, they  ____________________________________________  will.  ____________________________________________   ____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  Early sobriety is a sprint;  _______________________________________________  it becomes a marathon.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Acceptance: sometimes we have to learn to accept good things too! ♥

love ♥ friendship ♥ support ♥

 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  97

 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  There are all sorts of   _______________________________________________  promises in the Big Book.  _______________________________________________  There are good ones and  _______________________________________________  bad ones. If you don't  _______________________________________________  drink, the good ones will come true. true. If you drink,  _______________________________________________  the bad ones will come  _______________________________________________  true.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  By narrowing your mind, you  _____________________________________________  limit your experiences.  _____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  Drugs and alcohol always  _______________________________________________  did what they were  _______________________________________________  supposed to. I didn't.  _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  Change your old ideas and  _____________________________________________  your attitude will change.  _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________   ________________________________________________   You can only hold a  ________________________________________________  magnifying glass over  one thing at a time. Keep  ________________________________________________  it over the solution, not  ________________________________________________  the problem.  ________________________________________________   ________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  There are two days we do not  ________________________________________  have control over: yesterday and  ________________________________________  tomorrow.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  If my attitude is loving and  _____________________________________________  tolerant, I am further away  _____________________________________________  from a drink.  _____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  If you don't deal with life,  _______________________________________________  life will deal with you. you. If  you don't deal with your   _______________________________________________  feelings, your feelings will  _______________________________________________  deal with you.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  When helping someone,  _______________________________________________  don't ever do for them  _______________________________________________  what they can do for   _______________________________________________  themselves.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  A newcomer will talk about  ________________________________________  problems and an old-timer will talk  ________________________________________  about solutions.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  When you are down, you find out who your real  _______________________________________________  friends are.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Everything I was looking for in the  ________________________________________  bottle, I've found in AA.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  It's all how you look at it.  _______________________________________________  Lucky me, I get to rebuild  _______________________________________________  my life.  _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________   You are right where you should be  ________________________________________  based on the decisions you've  ________________________________________  made until this point.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  Serenity is nothing more  _______________________________________________  than the absence of   _______________________________________________  conflict.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  What makes us think we should be  ________________________________________  exempt from bad feelings?  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  When I start thinking  _______________________________________________  about what I deserve, I'm  _______________________________________________  in real trouble because  _______________________________________________  it's never enough.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  I am convinced that life if 10%  ________________________________________  what happens to me and 90% how  ________________________________________  I react to it.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Chapter Nine: AA Sayings & Slogans (If you don’t see your favorite saying listed here, look around. It might be in another  chapter. And, if you don’t understand what they mean, call your sponsor!) Bring your body, your mind will follow. Unity * Service * Recovery Progress not perfection. Magic Magnifying Mind Carry the message, not the drunk. This Too Shall Pass. 24-hour plan KISS: Keep It Simple, Sweetie. Meeting makers make it. Telephone Therapy  YET: You’re Eligible Too! ODAT: One Day At a Time. Time takes time. Stick with the winners. Go to any lengths. Let go and let God. Denial is not a river in Egypt. Poor me. Poor me. Pour me a drink! HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired  You're as sick as your secrets. Everything I let go of has claw marks in it. Trust God * Clean House * Help Others Keep your side of the street clean. Beware of the first drink. Keep coming back. It works if you work it. Don't point a finger. Lend a hand. One drink is too many and 1,000 is not enough. I am an ego maniac with an inferiority complex. Expect a miracle. It's only 12 Steps away. When a train hits you, it’s the engine that kills you, not the caboose.  You can't be too dumb for AA, but you can be way too smart. HOW: Honesty * Open Mindedness * Willingness Half measures availed availed us nothing. How It Works First Things First (Figure out what the facts are and look for your fears.) Take what you can use and leave the rest. (But file it away for future reference.) Our disease is an equal opportunity thief. The Program is an equal opportunity giver.

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Live & Let Live Easy Does It But for the grace of God Think, Think, Think, Think First Things First At some meetings, you will see the slogans arranged in the the above order. If you take the the first word from each slogan and read them in this order, it makes a sixth slogan, "Live easy, but think first." Isn't that great? What are some of your favorite slogans and why?  Choose several of the slogans and explain them as if you were talking to a newcomer.  What are your top 10 favorite slogans?  What do they mean to you?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  •

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When are you most likely to over-react to something?  Is a particular person involved in these situations?  If so, what is it about that person or relationship that causes you to react this way?  What can you do about it, if anything?  What part do you play?  What part do you just have to accept?  Is there a particular time of day that's challenging for you?  How about when you don’t feel well or if you're hungry? I only have one enemy in sobriety and it's my head.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________________   ________________________________________________  Getting into your own  ________________________________________________  head is like going into a  ________________________________________________  bad neighborhood  ________________________________________________  alone. Don't do it!  ________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________   ___________________________________________   ___________________________________________  During a conflict, ask yourself:  ___________________________________________  1. Is it important?  ___________________________________________  2. Can I do anything about it?  ___________________________________________  3. Is it any of my business?  ___________________________________________   ___________________________________________   ___________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ____________________________________   ____________________________________  Before opening your mouth,  ____________________________________  ask yourself three things:  ____________________________________  1. Is it honest?  ____________________________________  2. Is it kind?  ____________________________________  3. Is it necessary in a helpful spirit  ____________________________________  to the other person?  ____________________________________   ____________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ____________________________________________   ____________________________________________   You are not responsible for   ____________________________________________  other people's moods.  ____________________________________________   ____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Chapter Ten: The Promises

I think the thing to point out here is that the Promises are in the Big Book after  Step Nine and though we may see glimpses of them in earlier sobriety, the full effect is only achieved when you are actually working the Program with with a sponsor. I used to carry a wallet card listing the Promises because it was immediately clear to me that these would come true because they did for other people. "If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new new freedom and a new new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves." Alcoholics Anonymous, pgs. 83-84. **      **

Have you seen evidence of these promises in your life? Which of them have come true so far? List some examples of how they have manifested in your life. Have you seen evidence of them in other people's lives? Have you found other promises in the Big Book?

Please see inside front cover note regarding permission to include excerpt above.

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 ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Chapter Eleven: Spirituality

mind, body, spirit Now that you've worked the steps, it's your turn to write down what you believe today. This is a very personal part of the Program because we all come from different backgrounds. My concept may not work for you and yours may not work for me. I believe the point is to find a higher power outside of yourself and practice methods to quiet your mind. Everything we're told goes hand in hand: get out of your head, calm calm your thoughts and help others. • • •

What is your concept of a higher power? How has your concept of a higher power changed throughout recovery? How can you improve your connection with a higher power?  What steps will you take this week to make that connection?  What are your favorite prayers?  Has your method of praying changed?  Who do you think has a strong spiritual life?  What do they do to feed their faith?  What gives you peace and serenity? My concept of a higher power is an energy that connects us all. all. I see God shimmering when the sun hits ripples of water and makes sparkles of  light so bright they almost hurt my eyes.

People in AA are my God with skin on.

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We're all little pieces of God.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  A religious person goes  _____________________________________________  to church and thinks  _____________________________________________  about fishing.  _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  A spiritual person goes  _____________________________________________  fishing and thinks about  _____________________________________________  God.  _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  God = peace, love  ______________________________________________________________________  serenity & comfort  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  It was a gray, dreary  _______________________________________________  day and I had to  _______________________________________________  travel for business.  _______________________________________________  My mood often matches dreary days.  _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  I boarded the plane  _______________________________________________  and as we flew  _______________________________________________  higher, I saw fluffy  _______________________________________________  white clouds  _______________________________________________  illuminated by  _______________________________________________  intense sunlight. I  _______________________________________________  felt an immediate  _______________________________________________  peace wash over me. I was reminded that it  _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  is always sunny and  _______________________________________________  things are really ok,  _______________________________________________  even when we can't  _______________________________________________  see it.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  There is always  ______________________________________________  emotional turmoil  ______________________________________________  before there is  ______________________________________________  spiritual growth.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Pain is a sign that you're  ________________________________________  healing.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  The difference between  ______________________________________________________________________  spirituality and religion is  ______________________________________________________________________  that religion is for people  ______________________________________________________________________  who don't want to go to  ______________________________________________________________________  hell ~ Spirituality is for  people who have been  ______________________________________________________________________  there and don't want to go  ______________________________________________________________________  back.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ___________________________________________   ___________________________________________  Having a spiritual experience  ___________________________________________  is like tripping on acid. If   ___________________________________________  you've been there, no  ___________________________________________  explanation is necessary. If   ___________________________________________  you haven't, none is possible.  ___________________________________________   ___________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  Wise people learn from their mistakes.  ______________________________________________________________________  Truly wise people learn from other   ______________________________________________________________________  people's mistakes.  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   __________________________________________________   __________________________________________________   __________________________________________________  Know God  __________________________________________________  Know Peace  __________________________________________________  No God  __________________________________________________   __________________________________________________  No Peace  __________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  God has been putting  _______________________________________________  calls into you, but has  _______________________________________________  He been getting a  _______________________________________________  busy signal?  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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What signs have you seen of your spiritual awakening? Was it sudden and overwhelming or gradual and difficult to see?  What is different about how you handle things now?  How has a connection with a higher power changed your life?  Have your friends have noticed any changes? (Ask them.)  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________  AA = altered attitudes  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  When you don't know  _______________________________________________  what to do, just pray.  _______________________________________________  When it's time to make  _______________________________________________  a decision, the answer   _______________________________________________  will be crystal clear.  _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

Pray

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________   _______________________________________________  Whatever I need to  _______________________________________________  know today will be  _______________________________________________  revealed.  _______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _________________________________________   _________________________________________   _________________________________________   _________________________________________  I believe that there's a path in life we're supposed to follow. If we  _________________________________________  veer too far off, it causes us pain  _________________________________________  and we move back to the center,  _________________________________________  where we're supposed to be.  _________________________________________   _________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Chapter Twelve: Service Work  No matter how long you have been in the Program, you can help others. What can you do? make coffee  mop the floor   The least important word is I.  wipe tables & counters The most important word is We. clean bathrooms  greet people as they enter the meeting   set up for a meeting clean up after a meeting  give someone a ride to a meeting   call someone who hasn't attended meetings for a while become a pen pal to someone who is incarcerated (for more information, go to the  groups and members page at www.aa.org and look for corrections)  take a meeting to a hospital, halfway house, or prison represent your home group at district meetings  help out at a central service office  bring birthday treats to meetings  start a new meeting  What are your special talents? (We all have them.) listening (really hear someone and not give advice)   artistic (make flyers for upcoming events, join a committee, paint a mural at an AA facility) musical (dance, music event)   organizational skills (join a committee, volunteer at your home group or at the district level) computer skills (make flyers for upcoming events, become a group secretary)   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  There are those who always always say, "Yah,  ______________________________________________________________________  but…" and then argue why something  ______________________________________________________________________  cannot be accomplished. Successful  ______________________________________________________________________  people say, "You bet!" Who do you you  ______________________________________________________________________  want to be?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________  125

I will do the following three things as service work over the next year…  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   _______________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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Chapter Thirteen: Romantic Relationships

If you're not already in a relationship when you begin your journey in recovery, I'm sure you'll hear the advice not to start one for at least a year (and after you've worked all of  the steps). However, many of us don’t want to be told what to do, especially because this seemingly doesn’t have anything to do with not drinking. So, if you don't follow their  advice and do get into a relationship, please seriously consider this: • • •

Attend lots of meetings! Attend some meetings without your significant other. Avoid skipping meetings to spend time with your significant other.

Sometimes relationships don't last and if that's the case, it's much easier not to drink if  you have maintained maintained a firm foundation in recovery. Obviously if you're reading this, this, recovery is important to you. If you are with with the right person, then s/he will will understand that you need meetings. If they are healthy enough, they they will allow you you some space and the freedom to attend meetings without them. If not, quickly proceed to the nearest exit!

There was a time in my life when no one could have loved me enough because I didn't love myself.

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Why do you think that people are encouraged to wait a year to begin a new relationship?  ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  The purist high is an  ______________________________________________  adrenalin rush caused  ______________________________________________  by anger or love.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   _____________________________________________   _____________________________________________  Underneath every skirt  _____________________________________________  is a slip.  _____________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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 ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________  Having a relationship  ______________________________________________  during the first year   ______________________________________________  of sobriety is like  ______________________________________________  pouring Miracle Grow  ______________________________________________  on your character   ______________________________________________  defects.  ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________   ________________________________________  Love is being able to nurture  ________________________________________  my spirituality and the  ________________________________________  spirituality of others.  ________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________________________ 

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