10 Techniques for Killing Approach Anxiety

PUA LINGO

10 TECHNIQUES FOR KILLING

PRESENTS:

APPROACH ANXIETY

Copyright 2010-2011 PUA Lingo 0|Page

Table of Contents About Me and the Ebook ........................................... ........................................................................................... .......................................................... .......... 2 A Word on Change ............................................................................. ............................................................................................................... .................................. 3 The 10 Best Ways to Defeat Approach Anxiety ..................................................................... ..................................................................... 5 1: Name Your Fear, Young Padawan................................................ .................................................................................. .................................. 8 2: The Power of Thoughts ................................................................................................. ................................................................................................. 9 3: Don't seek to FIGHT your AA directly. .......................................... .......................................................................... ................................ 10 4: The Law of Equal Exchange ......................................................................................... ......................................................................................... 11 11 5: The Gremlins ...................................................................................................... .............................................................................................................. ........ 12 6: Having a deep enough reason to endure the inevitable pains of change ...................... 1 8 7: Hired Guns and Charity Charity Approaches Approaches ........................................... ........................................................................... ................................ 20 8: ORDINARY effort exerted towards a goal consistently produces EXTRAORDINARY results ............................................................................................... .............................................. ......................................................................................... ........................................ 22 9: Hacks in AA programming programming ................................................................... ........................................................................................... ........................ 24 10: A breakdown of breaking AA thought patterns ......................................... ......................................................... ................ 25 Conclusion and Quotes on AA ............................................................................................ ............................................................................................ 27 27

Copyright 2010-2012 PUA Lingo

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About Me and the E-Book I am not claiming to be a master PUA and you will not be able to get 9s and 10s right away from just reading this. You will, however, gain an unparalleled understanding of the tools we use to deal with Approach Anxiety (henceforth referred to as AA). As PUAs, we approach women. You know as well as I do that there is something going on in your body when we do. Something is happening at a physical level that is keeping you from approaching her. When it comes to approaching women, guys tend to have excuses and their own stories about why they cannot approach. Some pretend like it is not a big deal, or that they don’t care. Worse, they make up reasons as to why the girl isn’t good enough for him to approach. “She’s too short”, he’ll say, when in fact the girl is a perfect 6’0 in high heels. As a PUA, you are better. But, just when you s pot that hottie, your body fails you. You can’t approach her. Your heart starts racing, your breath starts becoming shallower, and your legs start shaking and won’t move at your command… I know. I’ve been there. I had have huge approach anxiety. I still have approach anxiety, 3 years into the game. I am known by my online moniker as AlphaWolf. I never thought I would become a guy who taught other guys and gals about having options in their dating life. A few years ago, I thought I was living the high life in New York when I graduated at the top of my class and was working at a top management consulting firm. Despite my business success, I was terrible with women. I decided to quit my job and move to San Francisco in hopes of a better sex life. Things got a bit better, but it still sucked. One day I just became sick of not having the results I wanted and I dedicated myself to fixing this part of my life. I came across The Game, and started hanging out with guys who were naturally good with women. 3 years down the road, I am a lot happier with my sex life and life in general. This eBook combines the best materials I have learned from: personal instructors, PUA Training, Mystery Method, Natural Game, Vibing, and non PUA-related material. The tools and techniques are not mutually exclusive and each one may become important to you in helping you get past AA. Without further ado, I present to you: The 10 Best Ways to Defeat Approach Anxiety

Sincerely, AlphaWolf (Vince)


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A Word on Change Well, we’re all naturally a bit lazy. It’s a natural part of being a human being. So we love to bitch about those things we can’t change because we know we won’t have to DO anything about them. As PUAs, we love to read and listen to audio books and then watch internet porn instead of going out and putting what we learned into practice. After all: • • •

You can’t change the economy You can’t change who your parents are You can’t change the actions of other people

But, you CAN change yourself and the way you respond to things that you cannot control. The key here is to find a way to overcome that natural need to sit still and “veg out” in front of the TV and get out of the house. I’m assuming you’ve read this far because you realize that this is something you need to do. Most often, we don’t do anything about our situation until we hit what I call a “pain threshold.” This is the level of pain where you finally stand up and scream “NO MORE! I’m sick of this!” I know, because I recently quit my job at Google because of this very pain threshold. We all have a threshold of pain in our lives. It’s higher or lower depending on who you are and what your situation is. For me, working a corporate 9-5 job felt like torture. For others, it is a bearable pain and so every day they wake up and drag their asses to work not because they want to, but because they’re not feeling enough joy or pain. To live life as the living dead. When it comes to approaching women, you’ve always got to learn that enduring rage energy of “I’m not going to be a pussy. I’m DONE with that!” It kind of feels like s omeone is emotionally giving you a kick in the behind. Sorry, but until you find the pain of sitting home alone every night and beating off to Internet porn as being totally lame (and gay) you’re going to c ontinue to do it. So the key is to LOWER your threshold of pain so you’re moved to action sooner, not later - at a crisis point in your life. As Van Wilder would say, look for that “DARE TO BE GREAT” Moment. It’s there. You’re changing right now. Whether you want to or not. You change slowly - every day. Usually, we change slowly in bad ways because we are unaware.


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You may wake up one morning; look in a mirror and say, “Man, I have gained a lot of weight!” Why not make the change a good one instead? However, this is one caveat to “pain-level” change: If you try to make a sudden change in your life, just like whipping the steering wheel over in your car, you’re going to freak out, lose control, and probably crash this thing. If you expect sudden, overnight instant success with women you’re doomed to failure. We live in the magic pill era and in a country that worships quick fixes. We ALL want overnight success, overnight weight loss, overnight riches, overnight everything. Don’t let yourself be the guy who is looking for the magic pill. It doesn’t exist. Instead, focus on taking the time to build up, one skill set at a time. You will build a foundation that cannot be knocked down by the whistle blowing of the media or cultural fixation on overnight fixes. Now, let’s get into the 10 techniques that you can use right now… And may you enjoy the game, player.


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-The 10 Best Ways to Defeat Approach Anxiety# 1: Name Your Fear, Young Padawan The worst thing about AA is that most guys don’t know it exists. Prior to reading the game, I always felt the powerlessness of not knowing what to do when hot chicks are present in front of me. I remember just out of school, I was hitting at a bar with 3 other relatively good looking guys, dressed in suits after our consulting project. As we sat down we all realized that there were 4 hot girls giving us a lot of eye contact and smiles. None of us approached, and after about an hour of flirting eye contact, the girls suddenly stopped giving us looks. They realized that we were checking them out too much, and did not have the balls to approach them. At the time, I had no idea that what I was feeling was indeed AA. And like most guys, I followed my body’s instincts, and avoided potential embarrassment to approach any girls, despite receiving approach invitations. Becoming aware of AA is the first step, and understanding it is the second. When we understand the origins of the fear, we begin the process of taking control back from our limiting beliefs.


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The Origins of Approach Anxiety Nearly every man has a fear of making the initial approach. This fear is often attributed to an evolutionary survival mechanism that arose from living in tribal communities of less than 50 people. Imagine yourself in such a situation. As a man within the tribe, if you approached the wrong woman, and she rejects you, you will be permanently removed from mating with her and passing on your genes. She will tell all her friends, and you’ll be genetically locked out. It would mean genetic suicide, in Mystery Method terms. Fast forward to modern day man. When you go o ut into the field, you may experience approach anxiety. Ah. The fear. The fear of failure, fear of what that failure means, fear of the embarrassment that may occur, all stemming from the possibility of an assault on your very ego and your comfort zone sense of reality. Given the rate of evolution, we still retain our tribal emotions in a very fast changing world. For the most part, these instincts have served us well and kept us alive. However, today, social adaptations happen more quickly than genetic ones, and only strong long-term changes are encoded genetically. Our emotions, and the behaviors they cause, are best adapted to a primitive tribal environment that no longer exists.


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For example, we know logically that you can be rejected by every woman in the club and you probably will never see any of them again. There would be no REAL consequences as a result of your actions. There is really nothing to be embarrassed about. Nothing really bad beyond a bad rejection is likely to happen to you. It’s just not likely and will probably never happen. So you may be wondering, "why the hell do I still experience approach anxiety before opening a girl?!" Let’s go back in time for a bit. In tribal society, the very moment that the ancestral man faced the greatest risk to his survival and replication -during the approach- is precisely when most men feel the greatest anxiety today. Why? Our emotions serve s everal functions. One could imagine them as simply neuro-circuits in the brain that perform social value judgments when appropriate, motivate behaviors via emotional sensations of reward and pain. Wait, so these feelings exist for the purpose of motivating specific behaviors that will in turn increase my probability of survival and replication? But that was back in cave man days right? So in today’s time, these very circuits that are designed to protect us are actually hindering us from achieving success because evolution adapts at a slower pace than social adaptation. When a guy feels lonely and shy at the same time, he may feel a conflict in motivation. Is one of these emotions wrong? No, they are both correct. Those people who were lonely but not shy enough, or shy but not lonely enough, tended to fail in passing on their genes. Biologically speaking, our sole goal on Earth is to pass on our genes. BIOLOGICALLY. There could be other meaning to a person’s life, but his biological and genetic mandate is survival and replication. This being the order, our emotions are based on a behavioral control over the expected punishment and reward of our actions. AA derives from this adaptation, which serves us very little purpose today but did save our hides back in the tribal days. Don’t let it hinder you on your journey to master game.


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2: The Power of Thoughts It is important to understand that fear and power all originates from YOU. We are trained from birth to give power away onto others. As children we saw our parents and our teachers as demigods. They possessed power we did not have and could not understand. To you, my father would likely have been a pleasing and very diplomatic man, with a strong sense of humor and an unusual ambition. To me as a child he was dominating, angry, proud, admirable, a man whose power was beyond understanding as a kid. Take the supermodel on the runway. She’s beautiful. She commands attention and possesses power over us. Over people she meets, over the charmed men she casts a spell on. Take away the cameras. Take away the fame. Take away her makeup and her clothes. Take away her family, her friends, her employers, her lovers. She is merely another human being. Without us, who bestow power on them via our fascination with beauty, those with power through beauty are powerless. In the same manner that we bestow power on our parents and women of beauty, we also bestow power on God. But wait… isn’t God’s power is our power as well? One cannot expect more from God than we have given God in our minds. No merciful God worth our worship would deny us the kingdom of heaven for retaining our power, for our power was given to us – not to return to God, but to return to man, is that not so? By exercising our own power justly, wisely, lovingly, are we not acting in a way to please God, any God? Maybe true respect for God is the responsible exercise of the power we were bestowed with? I’ll let you answer that one. A beautiful woman may compensate for her want of attention and social value by filling in her holes with her charm. Her intelligence, smart wits, and knowledge of the laws of seduction– all are forms of power. We all use power to fill the holes in our personalities. A woman with the power of beauty, with nothing to back it up, is simply a girl in elegant clothes. Once we understand how power is used or misused by those who possess it, their power no longer intimidates us as it has before. We see it, shrug our shoulders and press o n. We do not lend it reverence. We are not afraid of it. We do not worship it. We give it the respect or value it deserves, nothing less, nothing more. If you can figure out how this section applies to AA, you’ll have obtained as Tyler Durden would say, “one of the keys to the kingdom”.


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# 3: Don't seek to FIGHT your AA directly. Some guys are able to pummel through the intense rival instructions their brain is giving them between the desire to approach and the desire to not be rejected. By feeding these 2 conflicting emotions, you only give it more strength. If we lack depth in character, the things we fight against often become our identity because that becomes the thing we engage in the most. Don't get caught up in the "fight against" approach anxiety. When there is constant friction between two forces of power, conflict arises. This is because as humans, we have the evolutionary “fight or flight” response. If you trigger this, you suddenly become needy or more nervous. The pros barrel through it, but for newbies it can be crippling: FIGHT OR FLIGHT: A set of physiological changes, such as increases in heart rate, arterial blood pressure, and blood glucose, initiated by the sympathetic nervous system to mobilize body systems The onset of a stress response is associated with specific physiological actions in the sympathetic nervous system, primarily caused by release o f adrenaline and norepinephrine from the medulla of the adrenal glands. The release is triggered by acetylcholine released from preganglionic sympathetic nerves. These catecholamine hormones facilitate immediate physical reactions by triggering increases in heart rate and breathing, constricting blood vessels and tightening muscles. An abundance of catecholamines at neuroreceptor sites facilitates reliance on spontaneous or intuitive behaviors often related to combat or escape. Normally, when a person is in a serene, unstimulated state, the "firing" of neurons in the locus ceruleus is minimal. A novel stimulus, once perceived, is relayed from the sensory cortex of the brain through the thalamus to the brain stem. That route of signaling increases the rate of noradrenergic activity in the locus ceruleus, and the person becomes alert and attentive to the environment. If a stimulus is perceived as a threat, a more intense and prolonged discharge of the locus ceruleus activates the sympathetic division of the autonomic nervous system (Thase & Howland, 1995). The activation of the sympathetic nervous system leads to the release of norepinephrine from nerve endings acting on the heart, blood vessels, respiratory centers, and other sites. The ensuing physiological changes constitute a major part of the acute stress response. Therefore, a more effective approach to dealing with AA is to accept it, and go with the knowledge that you may be a little nervous. You don’t “fight” it. You become at peace with the idea of meeting new people.


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You don't fight fat - you join up with the skinny. You don't fight against illiteracy. You support reading skills and literacy programs. In the same way, you don't "fight" approach anxiety. You pursue open, curious social behavior and genuine interest in other people. That has been my single most effective tool in overcoming this thing we call approach anxiety. You pursue open, curious social behavior - and *genuine* interest in other people. Write that down.


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# 4: The Law of Equal Exchange One of the easiest ways to get rid of approach anxiety is to create value for other people, instead of trying to GET. Most of a guy's approach anxiety is created because his motives are against his result. He wants to GET a phone number, GET a kiss, GET a date, GET laid. Not that you can’t get what you want, but that shouldn’t be your first item o n the agenda. Instead, when you go into an interaction and want to start creating value for a woman or the group –with no expectations or need of anything, your anxiety goes away. There’s no motive. If I told you that you are going to walk over and tell a beautiful woman that she has just won the lottery - and YOU get to hand her the big check for a million dollars, would you not be excited about that? What is you were a model scout, and you wanted to approach this woman to see if she can handle herself properly in order to refer her to a top modeling agency? You would be the best thing that happened to her! You'd be positively motivated to go talk to her. One of the underlying issues is that guys believe that they have no value for a wo man. Both changing your inner beliefs and your own lifestyle will change this dynamic. As a man, you have indefinite value to her - as the man that brings fun, wild sex, adventure, stability, and all these cool things about your life that you can bring into her world. When we're selfish with our value, we fall into scarcity mode, and our anxiety about our value to other people keeps us from connecting. And the anxiety returns. Again, I know that some of what I'm saying here sounds like an oversimplification of the fear, but that's *exactly* what we need to do more than over-complicate it. When we make approach anxiety all complicated, we're just trying to create more excuses not to overcome it. KNOW your value; BUILD your value, and then GIVE IT AWAY to everyone. I defy you to feel anxious when you're fully engaged in living a life of supporting your own value and distributing your ability to give.


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#5: Name and Fight The Gremlins (AKA Inner Demons) You downloaded this eBook to improve yourself. Now, I am going to push you a little bit outside of your comfort zone. Gremlins are like your inner demons, inner beliefs that may or may not be true that are holding you back from what you want in life. Think of them as annoying pests and hover around the corners of your mind. What are your gremlin’s favorite sayings? I am going to write down some of my old Gremlins and I want you do finish the puzzle.

Here are my Gremlin’s 5 most favorite sayings… (Fill this out)

1. Gremlin Example Saying: You’re not good looking enough to get the girl of your dreams. 2... 3... 4... 5...


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Now, think about the 5 sayings you hear most frequently from your Gremlin and put them through the consequences and benefits challenge. What would you gain or lose by believing or not believing what it is saying to you?

Results of believing your Gremlin

Results of not believing your Gremlin

1

2

3

4

5


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Common Gremlin Activity=

Depression

Now, let’s take a look at some of the patterns of Gremlin sayings. Make some notes for yourself if any of these apply to you. 1) All or Nothing Syndrome • • •

Seeing things in black or white categories. ‘If I don’t approach this time, I’m a total failure’ ‘if this relationship doesn’t work out, I’m staying single for the next 5 years’

2) Overgeneralization/Exaggeration •

• •

Expecting that because something has not gone the way you had hoped, it will never go right and there will be dire consequences ‘I got a bad reaction on my first approach, the rest of the night will be crap’ ‘I ate a doughnut this morning… I’ll never get to grips with weight loss’

3) Mental Filtering •

• •

You see and dwell only the negative to the point where it distorts your view of a person or a situation with adequate evidence either way ‘I’ve left 2 messages now, she’s utterly hopeless at communication’!’ ‘This bar is closed on Wednesdays, they obviously don’t care too much about their customers’

4) Converting positives into negatives •

You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they ‘don’t count’. In this way you maintain a negative belief that can fly in the face of evidence to the contrary

•

‘We got that girls number because there were no other guys there’

•

‘She’s only being nice to me because she feels sorry for me’


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5) Mind Reading •

Drawing a negative conclusion when there is little or no evidence to support it. To conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you without checking it out.

•

‘She has interrupted me twice now, I bet I’m really boring her’

•

‘It’s been a week since I sent that proposal, they must think it’s rubbish’

6) Crystal Balling

•

You anticipate things will turn out badly and treat your prediction as an established fact. ‘She won’t understand what I’m talking about, so I even talk about it’

•

‘She’ll hate the exhibition, so I’m not going to invite him’

•

7) Catastrophising/Awfulising •

Exaggerating the impact of events and convincing yourself that if something goes wrong it will be utterly intolerable

•

‘If this set doesn’t go well, I will never get over it’

•

‘I’m going to be totally devastated if she rejects my offer for a date’

8) Labeling •

• •

You use negative language to describe yourself or others, reinforcing a sense of wrongdoing. ‘I’m /stupid/boring/fat/unattractive’ ‘He’s just a paranoid control-freak’

9) Demands

•

Over-use of ‘shoulds’, ‘oughts’, ‘musts’ lead to guilt, frustration and disappointment in self and others. ‘She should shut-up and listen’

•

‘I must not get angry’

•


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10) Comparison

•

Making spurious comparisons that diminish or aggrandize. ‘She’s fabulous and so articulate, I just mumble and go red’

•

‘I’m glad I don’t live like that anymore, he is so chaotic and unfocused'

•

Which voices you listen to in your head is up to you


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# 6: Having a deep enough reason to endure the inevitable pains of change If you haven’t cried on your journey to become a master PUA, then you haven’t made real progress. The one reason guys fail to do the things they know they need to do is because they let th emselves get comfortable in their discomfort. They let themselves fall back into old habits and get “stuck” again when it becomes easier to live in the pain they got used to: No success also sometimes feels very similar to “no failure.” This is all an ILLUSION. We mistake inaction as avoiding risk, which means no loss, which means no pain. But even in your avoidance, we are being rejected all the time. Think about it for a second: •

•

•

•

•

• •

For example, 90% of all people in the United States will wind up broke when they get to retirement. Despite the economic downturns between 2000-2010, saving rates in the US have barely reached 5% of a person’s total income. 5%! Why is this and how can it possibly happen in one of the most affluent societies in the world? It’s because there’s no PRESENT PAIN for us to feel. Our pain is all way off in the uncertain future. So we never get motivated to do what we need to do now. The same is more than true about changes we want to make in our habits and our social skills. No one likes pain - of any kind. In fact, human are “comfort seeking” animals by nature. However, anything that is of value in this life requires hard work, sacrifice, and sometimes, pain.


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In the end, the joy of the accomplishments far outweighs the initial pain of change. Always remember this on your journey.

So, do we use pain or pleasure to reward change? My suggestion is to use pain first; in you are in a comfortable zone that is causing you silent discomfort. For example: If I don’t destroy my approach anxiety: a. I won’t approach women, and I’ll spend Saturdays at home watching the same South Park episodes for the 56th time... b. I’ll resort to Internet porn and end up being an addict... c. My mom will keep setting me up with ugly chicks from her work... d. I’ll never get laid or fall in love… e. My friends will never stop making fun of me... You get the picture.


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This is your negative motivator. I find that motivating yourself with pain is exceptionally effective since we are all very motivated more by pain than pleasure. Again, one of those natural psychological traits of humans. Now, whenever you start to backslide, or you think that approaching that hottie is scary, just review this list and remember the pain you’re in for if you DON’T do it. You miss 100% of the shots you do not take, and you fail every approach you DON’T make! Pleasure can also be used as positive reinforcement. If I conquer my AA, I will be able to: a. b. c. d. e. f.

Have a girlfriend Not always sleep and feel so alone.. Have a bigger and more fun social circle I will have regular sex with hot girls and girls I am actually attracted to... I will stop feeling so depressed all the time My old friends will stop making fun of me. The thought of them asking me for help with girls!

Use this as POSITIVE motivation once the NEGATIVE reinforcement has forced you into taking the first step of action towards change.


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# 7: Hired Guns and Charity Approaches Sometimes guys are still extremely nervous after the theoretical discussions of AA and how to overcome it through cognitive thinking. As a coach, I have to think of a way to help these guys. So let’s take some of the sting ou t of it, and get used to interacting with women who can’t reject you. First: Hired guns! Hired guns are women who were hired for their beauty. They work at retail stores, mall stores, department stores, bars, strip clubs, the shop on the street. They are everywhere. It is their job to talk to you. I took a job at a retail store just to find out more about what these girls were thinking. Most of them time, they are bored to death or have a sales quota, and therefore actually look forward to talking to people. Hired guns are generally very friendly and easy to banter with. Don’t try to go for a number if you are just starting out, because it will creep out the whole situation very fast. Two things to remember: You want to always walk away with a positive feeling. This is conditioning your nervous system that talking with women is no big deal and do not have an agenda beyond making her feel better and BRING VALUE to the conversation. Don’t be the creepy customer who hits on all the girls at the store. Talk to the guys at the store too, they are usually the ones that will either talk you up or talk bad about you during lunch hours. Second: The Hit and Run Approach You’re going to make it a point to go approach and pay one sincere compliment to 50 women you see. No agenda, no number closes. There is a guy on YouTube that had a friend film him and his goal was to say hi to as many people as possible in fewer than 5 minutes. What a way to get past social conditioning. And that’s it. Just give away a compliment to every woman you see. Hell, go ahead and give a compliment to every guy, even. You’re adding value to each interaction and making people’s days better. And it’s even better if you do this with women that you don’t find attractive. Why? Because then you’re making your approaches equal opportunity, and you’ll feel even better for having put a smile on a woman’s face who might not be getting hit on as much anymore.


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I personally am not as attracted to black girls and most Asian girls (unless they are a 9 or 10), but every once in a while I’ll chat up a group of black or Asian girls at a club if they are standing alone just to make their day. Sometimes I even hit it off with a girl I like. You just never know. After your initial 50 approaches you’re going to find that walking up to women completely loses its weird paralyzing power over you. Go up to her and give her a compliment with no expectations of a reply or return: “Excuse me, Hi. I just wanted to say, I love the way you’ve put yourself together. That scarf finishes off the curves around your clothing so well...” And then, IMMEDIATELY start turning to walk away. If she pulls you back to re-engage in a conversation, see where it goes. However, you don’t want to linger of make her think that you’re there to “hit on her” or make a pickup attempt. She should be saying “Thank you” to you as you’re walking away with a smile and a wave. The absolute WORST situation is that she gives you a half smile or looks confused. A girl with this type of reaction is probably socially un-calibrated and you should not let their projections influence your own directive. Remember, you’re trying to develop your ESSENCE. It is this ATTITUDE of charity and positive energy you’re working on. You’re just a guy that adds value. Most guys find that after only a few approaches like this, their approach anxiety completely fades. Remember, approaching becomes fun again when you stop needing a certain outcome from it.


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# 8: ORDINARY effort exerted towards a goal consistently produces EXTRAORDINARY results. (Credit: Matt Hussey) Write that down. Seriously. Ordinary effort exerted towards a goal consistently produces extraordinary results. There is one thing I recommend more than anything else to learn how to handle approach anxiety: Make a commitment to approach at least one woman every day. When you’re reading or keyboard jockeying seduction material you’re probably thinking, “I can do five approaches every day if I want.” Or “I’ve been planning for a while now to go out and do ten approaches every day.” I’ve been there. You end up planning this for weeks on end and it never happens. When it does, you’re so out of practice that the approaches feel like clunky and un-smooth. Sometimes, you just have other things going on in your life, whether it is school or business. Particularly at those times, you still improve. Why? Because this is a part of who you are now. One approach every day. Approaching one woman every day will get you out of your shell. That’s why that first approach is so hard. You’re stuck inside your head all day and all of a sudden you have to come out. By doing one approach a day, you are doing that one hardest approach every single day. It is like doing the mile run every day. Each day you will become more smooth and better and better at it. Before you know it, you can run for 3 miles every morning. You CANNOT experience an approach by reading stuff on the internet or watching videos. Sorry. There’s something different that goes on in your body when you actually go and approach a woman and have that real world experience. After doing this for 2-3 months you will have talked to over 100 girls and you start developing and internalizing a natural vibe with your interactions with other women and people. The way to do this is by going out for half an hour every day. This gets your body and mind used to “being out.” It gets you thinking about improvement. Maybe for the first week, you don’t even approach a woman. That’s ok. Get comfortable with the scenery and take actions to move forward. When you’re ready, your opener could very well be: “Hi. I was just walking through the mall and I wanted to come over and say hi. My name is…”


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It doesn’t have to be an elaborate opener. Keep it simple: “Hi. How is your day going?” “Are you just getting out of work?” “I like blueberries.” “Excuse me. Have you seen my squirrel? I think he ran this way” “I love the way you’re put together. I t just… works. Hi, I name is…” If you can do this ordinary approach consistently, within weeks you will being to see an unstoppable improvement in your inner confidence. Keep a record of your approaches. You may want to get a calendar and put gold stars on the days you approach. Run this exercise like a sales goal for the quarter. Reward yourself when you reach your goals, and put motivational boosters in place to combat complacency. ORDINARY effort exerted towards a goal consistently produces EXTRAORDINARY results. Consistency is the key in achieving great goals:


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#9: Hacks in AA programming (Credit: Mystery) There a few ways to game the system and circumvent AA. They are not 100% and you cannot consistently rely on these techniques if you want to become a master PUA in the long term. That said, I am sure you are wondering right now what these are. With reservation I am going to share them with you: 1. Follow the 3-Second Rule: Upon first entering a venue, approach a set in the first 3 seconds. For some strange biological reason, this bypasses your AA and prevents it from festering in your mind. It also immediately builds confidence and the rest of the room assumes you know the person. This is particularly effective when you are going out alone and bar jumping. 2. Do three (3) warm-up approaches to start out the night. This will put you into a talkative state, and then you’ll be ready for the rest of the night. It overcomes approach anxiety. Usually, by my 3rd or 4th approach, the fear of AA goes away. Unfortunately this “reset AA” trigger only works on the same night and does not accumulate over time. Therefore, always build into your logistics a bar where you can wreck the room or do warm up sets. Be in a talkative “state”. 3. Preselect yourself: bring a girlfriend out, or always been seen with a woman. If a wo man gives you proximity, open her. If you see a new set that you want to open, approach it within 3 seconds. This practice will give you confidence and once you get better you will begin to build social proof in the venue moving from set to set and adding value. 4. Start making girlfriends. This is not as hard as you think. As PUAs, we know how to build rapport with people. Take out the sexual part of you game and make genuine girlfriends. They will be able to give you female advice without the hassle of girl problems that you usually have in relationships. As always, don’t’ rely on only preselection because it is such a powerful tool. AFC Adam compares it to being a “wall hack” in a first person shooter game because it allows you to create female attraction for yourself. Don’t always rely on a female wing or girlfriend to achieve pre-selection and practice developing this on your own.


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#10: For the technically focused, a breakdown of breaking AA thought patterns (Credit: PUA Training) Rival Instructions a) Your brain receives rival instructions from being lonely and wanting to socialize, to not getting rejected or embarrassed while socializing within your small tribe. Brain Approach so you are not lonely ------>

<------ Don’t get rejected /embarrassed in tribe

b) These are hardwired into our biology. So, if you had to choose, which one of these instructions would you like to drop to better your life? c) If I drop the first “approach so you are not lonely” command, what are the best results of this? Advantages of dropping the first approach command •

Not get rejected / I can avoid a “NO”

Disadvantages of dropping the first approach command • • • •

End up alone Not have a fulfilling life Not having confidence Meet less people and friends

If I drop the second command “don’t get rejected”, what are the best results of this? Advantages of dropping the “don’t get rejected” command • •

Meet more people Fill up your diary

•

Make new friends Build confidence and control of your life

•

Not being alone

•

Find a girlfriend or find the one

•


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Disadvantages of dropping the “don’t get rejected” command • •

Don’t get embarrassed or rejected Avoid potential fights

d) Aside from dropping rival instructions, you can also build associations to your beliefs to change your actions. Bring them into alignment. Brain Approach so you are not lonely ------>

<------ Don’t get rejected /embarrassed in tribe

e) Re-align and anchor positive associations to getting rejected. Rejection is good. o o o o

It helps me get to where I want to go. I learn what not to do and what works. I build more reference points. The mPUAs that are the best are the ones that have endured the most rejection than anyone else.

f) But what about embarrassment?!? Embarrassment or fun? It is your choice! Change your beliefs, and you will change your instructions. Rejection is good. You’re beliefs are now in alignment with your goals. By logically thinking about this, we can thus arrive at the conclusion that in the majority of cases, more approaches is a good thing. The rewards for approaching women are high, and the risks are very low or non-existent. Remember this the next time you are out.


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Conclusion I hope this eBook has been of value to you. Please feel free to email your feedback and comments to me at [email protected]. You can get updated and regular updates from us by signing up to our exclusive newsletter at http://www.pualingo.com/. Sincerely,

AlphaWolf (Vince)

Quotes on AA

Juggler @ SF Lair meeting: “The fear never really goes away. Even for us [masters]. And that is a good thing. You have something to live for, to fear and conquer. The day you no longer feel fear during an approach, is the day you need to find something else to do that has enough meaning to cause fear in you.” Mystery in field footage: “Ah. The fear. We all feel it. But we burrow through it. We fight through it.” Jeffy in Nine Ball: “I was at the end of the road. Then Tyler pops up in my mind and starts talking to me. What Would Tyler Do? (WWTD?)” DJ Fuji @ SF Lair meeting correcting a student’s mock approach: “Do that again. Do it better” Troy Dizon: “Fucking go. Follow the energy and vibe of the club, and say that it has led you here, to the girls”


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10 Techniques for Killing Approach Anxiety

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