01 - Building Skill at Feel

Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel (Program Transcript)

For the smart guy who refuses to resort to bullying bullying,, begging begging,, buying,, bs buying bs or or booze booze,, in his pursuit of happiness. Copyright © 1988-2011, 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Reserved. The information within this study guide may not be duplicated without written permission from the author.

Disclaimer This document may contain viewpoints that may be considered controversial controversi al by certain audiences. It is intended as a powerful guide for self-respecting, intelligent men who are looking to avoid from "real-hateshun-ships by default" and instead claim the happiness that they deserve. I, Ross Jeffries, Ghita Services., Inc, and/or Seduction.com (or any of our other websites or entities) cannot and will not be held responsible in any way for your actions, and will not be held liable for any and all claims from you or any other third party. You alone are responsible for your decisions and actions, even if they have an impact on others. This information is meant for "entertainment" "entertai nment" purposes only. While this document contains information, tips, tools, and strategies that are recommended by us and, in many cases, have succeeded when applied by others, this product and its contents carry no warranty or guarantee (either explicit or implied) that the purchaser or reader will achieve success with women, or in any other endeavor for which they may be used.

Ross: Yesterday we went over these orientations. I said take on an action orientation. It’s an empiricist mindset that says you learn through your experiments in the world over time what’s possible and what’s not. Here’s an assignment for those of you who hesitate a lot. I give my students assignments to do. It’s funny. They do it. Those who hesitate a lot, I want you to go to a part of your city where there’s the most people walking by, say, at noontime, wherever that is. I don’t know your city. I want you to bring a little notepad. I want you to pick out the person, the guy, who looks the most successful, the most with it, the guy who looks to you like he’s really got it wired. I want you to imagine that you’re taking your program of “No, no, no. I can’t do it until I’m sure. I’m not going to do it until I’m absolutely sure. I’m going to think about it a million times.” Imagine putting that down into his head. I want you to journal what you think his life will look like financially, emotionally, romantically, physically after six months of thinking that. I want you to do that assignment, because you will get the idea that it’s not who you are that’s fucked you up; it’s just that programming. That programming would fuck anybody up. Now, this ability to walk through the world without needing a guarantee is part of showing up attractive before you open your mouth. When you don’t need a guarantee because you’re able to handle uncertainty because you have a good relationship to uncertainty, then you have a different way of walking through the world that’s very attractive to people, because people want guarantees. This is the way it works in the world. So, being able to take on his mindset, which is action orientation. Now, it’s all well and good for me to tell you that. What gets in the way of action orientation? What do you think gets in the way of having that? Male Participant: Fear. Male Participant: Previous experience. Ross: Fear is not a thing. Fear is a process that you undergo. 1 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

Male Participant: Being comfortable in what you’re doing. Ross: Being comfortable in what you’re doing. Well, oftentimes you can’t be totally comfortable. How about having comfort with discomfort? I’m getting to something I all skill at feel. I’m going to use some technical vocabulary here. Here’s what I want you to do. I’m going to give you a demonstration. Everybody sit up straight and put your feet flat on the floor. We’re going to talk about skill at feel, because skill at feel is a big part of being able to have the action orientation. Let me draw the logic for you. Skill at feel is the foundation upon which you will stand to get that action orientation. And action orientation is a big piece of showing up attractive before you open your mouth, before you even have a lot of social skill – before you had any social skill. So what do I mean by skill at feel? First of all, I want everyone to put a little bit of their attention on the feeling of their feet pressing against the ground. Everyone do that. It’s okay if your mind wanders but put a little bit of attention on the feeling of your feet pressing against the ground. Now, if you’re sitting with your back against the chair, put some of your attention on the feeling of your back against the chair. Open your eyes. Look here. That’s feel. By feel I mean the actual touch sensations on the body or in the body. Now, feel can also, as I’m defining it, mean the actual physical sensation of an emotion. Who talked about fear? Do you want to come and do some work? Male Participant: Okay. Ross: Come on up here. I want to show you guys something. What’s your name? James: James. Ross: James. Good lad. He talked about fear. Do you ever feel fear around women? 2 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

James: Yeah. Ross: Okay. Fear is a label that he uses to describe. It’s a shorthand label like a desktop icon. Anyone here remember Windows DOS? You had to type in commands. Anyone remember what they had before Windows DOS where you had to type in a lot of stuff? That icon on your desktop allows you to avoid typing in lots of code. It stands for something. When he says fear, he doesn’t feel fear. He feels a set of sensations in the body. Correct? James: Yeah. Ross: Okay. So can you get back some of that fear? James: Yeah. Ross: I want you to close your eyes, tune into the fear, and I want you to tell me exactly where you feel the sensations. Where do you feel it first in the body? James: Across here...(his chest) Ross: Okay. As you tune into it moving across there, can you describe the flavor of the feel? Is it a tightness? Is it a stabbing? James: It goes tight and then it tingles. Ross: Okay. So pay attention to the tightness and the tingling. Just pay attention to it. Then what happens with it? James: It’s changing a little bit. It’s sort of moved down a little bit. Ross: Okay. And how about the quality of it? Is it still a tightness and a tingling or has the quality of it changed? James: It’s got a little bit less tight and it’s just tingling. 3 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

Ross: Tingling, okay. Does it manifest anywhere else on the body or does it stay there? James: It’s staying there at the moment. Ross: Okay. What happens if the woman looks at you and gives you a really sexual look? What does that do to the fear, to the state? James: It drops. Ross: Okay. And what do you feel there? Describe it. Don’t give it a label like fear or anxiety. But describe the actual touch sensations in the body. James: It’s heavier. That makes me feel more comfortable. Ross: Oh, it does? Okay. My point being it’s not about fear. It’s about a set of different touch sensations in the body that move in a different way. When you label it “fear,” it doesn’t give you any knowledge or any contact with it. It doesn’t give you any connection or contact with it. You can’t do anything with it. It’s just this label. Fear. You may as well call it mixel pickle licks. It doesn’t give you any access to it. But the minute you begin to tune into the actual sensations of how you experience something – watch this – without fighting it. So get the sensations back. Would you play with him up here? Female Participant: Yeah. Ross: Come here. You stand here and you stand here. Stand over there by the chair and put on a really bitchy look like “Fuck you. I’ll rip your balls off.” Now I want you to tune into what you feel about approaching her. 4 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

James: My legs don’t want to walk. Ross: Okay. So tune into that sensation of your legs not walking. Close your eyes. Tune into it. Just tune into it. Ignore any imagery you’re making in your mind. Ignore any conversations and just keep putting your attention in the sensation of your legs just not wanting to move. Now just let it be there. Don’t fight it and don’t feed it. See what happens. Tighten up against it. Try and make it go away by tightening against it. What happens when you tighten up and restrict your breathing and try to make it go away? James: It gets worse. Ross: It gets worse. Exactly. When you resist it, it gets worse. And the more you push against it, the more it paralyzes. Now let go of trying to fight it. Keep the feeling but now tell yourself stories. When your legs don’t move, what kind of things do you say to yourself? James: I want to go in the opposite direction. Ross: What do you say to yourself? James: Let’s get out of here. Ross: So keep your eyes closed. Tune into the feeling, but say the things in your mind that you would normally say. “Fuck. Let’s get out of here.” What does that do to the sensation in your legs? James: Yeah. I can’t move now. Ross: Yeah. Really can’t move. So when he feeds it with a story You know what I mean by story – “Oh, shit. I’m fucking up again. Fuck. I’m never going to get a – fuck. I’ll be alone all my life.” That kind of shit. 5 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

Guys say, “How do you read my mind, Ross?” Because I used to have your mind. I’m not kidding. All these problems, I’ve suffered through all of them. So when you tighten up against it and fight it, or when you feed it, you make it worse. Most human beings when they’re faced with difficult emotion, here’s the first problem: they have no real contact with it. They have no real contact with it because they just label it rather than have contact. The illusion of contact that’s created by labeling is a major cause of confusion in the world. I’ll say it again. The illusion of contact with something, the illusion of knowing somebody by slapping it on a label, is a major cause of mischief in the world. So instead of putting a label on it, I want to teach you guys to have direct sensory experience of feel. By feel I don’t mean feelings, like “Baby, baby, feelings” Remember I was singing “Feelings” when I came into the room? I don’t mean that. I don’t mean that at all. I mean being in touch with the feel sensations in your body. This is my definition of what it means to show up masculine, to have skill at feel. Women can have their skill at feelings, which is what they spin in their head and all their stories. Story is for female. Story is not for male. For male, I want you to have skill at feel. And I don’t mean sentiment; I don’t mean any of that. I mean being able to be in touch and aware of the sensations in your body without fighting them and without feeding them. Because what happens is no matter how difficult the initial contact may be, sometimes it feels terrifying like you’re being ripped apart – I get it. Or it could be moderate. But no matter how that contact shows up, if you can stay with it and not feed it and not fight it, it will not block you. You can have that energy of anxiety – I’m going to show you in a minute so you see. But that energy of “anxiety” or fear, if you can have contact with it without fighting it or feeding it will turn into something else. It will turn into something that he can surf across. 6 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

So he doesn’t need to be confident; he doesn’t need to be sure; he doesn’t need that guarantee because he’s okay, he’s able to have contact with whatever is going on such that whatever is going on no longer blocks him. It becomes his stepping stone instead of a stumbling block. I’m telling you now, this may seem vastly disconnected with the idea of getting women, but in fact, it’s a foundational skill set for showing up attractive. Because, look, if you don’t know how to handle what’s going on in here and she’s in chaos, her chaos is going to take you over and then you’re going to be really fucked. Remember I talked about that vibe of being a leader and a leader is able to see where the woman is at without having to go there? The fundamental skill set that makes that possible is what we’re doing here. Do you understand? Let’s work with this a little bit more. You’re going to have to approach her. By the way, she’s got a psychic network to every woman in the U.K. and if she rejects you, they’ll all reject you. And she’s really kind of PMSing in a very bad way. She just got sacked from her job and her pension fund was destroyed and she found out her boyfriend is really a hermaphrodite named Jill. She’s not in a good mood. Ready? Get that feel back. James: It’s not difficult. Ross: Close your eyes. I want you to tune into the sensation. Listen to me. I want you to tune into it. On a scale of one to ten, how difficult is it right now? Where would you measure it right now? James: Seven to eight. Ross: Seven to eight, okay. Here’s what I want you to do. I don’t want you to relax the feeling, but I want you to relax everything around it. So don’t relax the feeling, but relax everything around it. Let the feeling be there. Don’t fight it and don’t feed it. I just want you to notice it. 7 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

And every ten seconds I want you say out loud same or changing. Understand feelings can change in a lot of different ways. They can change their direction; they can change their quality. A stabbing can become a tingling. They can change their intensity. A deep stabbing may lighten up or it may get stronger. Do you understand what I’m telling you to do? Just tune into it, notice it, don’t fight it, relax any resistance around it because when we experience pain, naturally the neurology pushes back against it. We are hardwired to push back against pain, and we’re also hardwired to grab on to pleasure. That’s just how it works. Tune into it. Don’t fight it. Don’t feed it. And every ten seconds, just say, “Same” or “Changing.” James: Same. Ross: Perfectly fine for it to be same, every ten seconds matter of factly. Relax your fist. James: Same. Ross: Now, I’m letting him squirm here because there’s something else going on that I’m going to show you in a minute. Same or changing. James: Changing. Ross: Relax your face. This is not an effort. Just allow yourself to pay attention to it. James: Changing. Ross: You may notice the desire to fight it or the desire to change it. Just let go of those things. They will arise. Just let go of them and keep putting your attention back on the actual feel sensation. 8 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

James: Changing. Ross: There you go. James: Changing changingchangingsamesame. Ross: Now, if the sensation is really strong, on a scale of one to ten, where is it now? James: Five, six. Ross: Okay. I want to show you something. If it’s still really strong, here’s what I want you to do. Show me where the feel is in your body. James: It’s moved now. Ross: Okay. Where is it? James: It’s moved more down here. Ross: Okay. Here’s what I want you to do. That feel has a boundary to it. It doesn’t extend through your whole body, does it? James: No, up and through here. Ross: Okay. So I want you to tune into the outer edges of it. Just hold your attention on the boundary of the feeling where it just fades away from consciousness. Hold your attention there and let the feeling be there, and then tell me every ten seconds same or changing. One key, when feel gets really intense and it just is building and building, one thing you can do is tune into the boundary of the feeling. Every ten seconds, same or changing. James: Changingchanging...changingchangingchangingchangingch anging 9 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

Ross: Okay. On a scale of one to ten, where is it now? James: Two. Ross: Two, that’s right. Now hold on to that. Open your eyes. Look at her through the two. Now, through the two, do your legs work? James: Yeah. Ross: Okay. So just go up and introduce yourself through the two. James: Hi, I’m James. Female Participant: Hello! Ross: Okay. Not quite so stiff, but you’re good. So when you paid attention to it and it got really intense, I could see that you were struggling with it. It was difficult. James: Yeah, it felt like I could really feel it. Ross: Sometimes what happens is when you start paying attention and really get contact with it, it will increase because finally you’re giving it the attention it needs. If you take a hose and you kink it and kink it, that pressure is going to build up. And if you release it through a membrane that has very small holes, all that pressure is going to spray through the tiny little holes in awareness, to use the metaphor. So as his awareness becomes more porous and as the surface opens up, the pressure will release. But if for the first time you let that hose loose and you only have tiny little perforations on the surface, all that pressure has got to go through the tiny little hole and it’s going to be strong. Not always. So what did I tell him to do? I said tune into the border of the feeling, and that immediately began to change it. Correct?

10 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

James: Yes. It moved down to my fingers and then started to seep out. That’s when it felt a lot better. Ross: Right. So my premise to you is this is not about building fantastic confidence, but it’s about being able to be present with something such that it no longer blocks you. Does this make sense? Once you’ve got that, then you can build confident feelings. I’m jumping ahead. Go back to the feeling again. Close your eyes, go back to the feeling and notice where it is and notice how it moves. Notice where it is and notice how it moves. You got it? On a scale of one to ten, where is it now? James: Back up to a seven. Ross: Okay. So do it again, what I showed you how to do. You know where to put your attention, and out loud every ten seconds, same or changing. James: Changingchangingchangingchangingchangingchangingch anging Ross: Very good. Where is it on a scale of one to ten now? James: Two. Ross: A two. Now, you know what the pattern of the feeling is, right? You know the general flow and what it looks like. What I want you to do is repeat the following phrase to me: “I claim my confidence” James: I claim my confidence. Ross: With my smoking hot women. James: With my smoking hot women. Ross: Who please, satisfy, and delight me in every way now. 11 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

James: Who please, satisfy, and delight me in every way now. Ross: Now, when you say that, where do you feel it? Does it produce feel in your body? James: Everywhere. Ross: Everywhere. So take that feel everywhere and just circulate it. Circulate it and put it behind your eyes, and now open your eyes and look at her with that feeling. Feel different? James: Yeah, a lot different. Ross: Now go over and talk to her through that feeling. James: Hi, my name’s James. Ross: Whoa, whoa. Back up there, tiger. Does that feel confident to you? Female Participant: Yeah, through the roof. Ross: Look at the look on her face. She’s a little excited. James: Yeah, I am. Ross: Yeah, so are you. So am I. What the fuck? Let’s all go somewhere. Where’s the girlfriend? What I first did is give him the witness experience of it, and then and only then did I build in the new feeling. Now let me backtrack a minute here. Notice the different when you just say, “I want confidence with women.” Just say that: “I want confidence with women.” James: I want confidence with women.


Ross: Where, if at all, do you feel that in your body? What’s the feeling impact of it? James: It feels like a lie almost. Ross: Try this: “I want my confidence with women.” James: I want my confidence with women. Ross: I want my confidence with my women. James: I want my confidence with my women. Ross: What goes on in the body when you do it like that? James: I own it. Ross: Wait. How about this. I claim my confidence. Try that. I claim my confidence with my women. James: I claim my confidence with my women. Ross: I claim my confidence with my smoking hot women. James: I claim my confidence with my smoking hot women. Ross: Who please, satisfy, and delight me in every way now. James: Who please, satisfy, and delight me in every way now. Ross: Now how does that feel in the body? James: Yeah. Ross: Yeah. You see the look at her? Now let’s see if you can get back the scared feeling. James: It’s nowhere near as tight. 13 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

Ross: Notice that he gave me the right answer. How do you measure the scared feeling now? Close your eyes and tune into it again. On a scale of one to ten, where is it? James: Three, four. Ross: So you know what to do with it, right? James: Yeah. Ross: So let’s see you do it on your own without me telling you. Where is it now? James: One. Ross: It’s a one. Now, I want you to notice something. Pay attention here. Change workers, you could do a hypnotic induction with him and install some kind of thing so whenever he starts to feel fear, he immediately goes in the other direction towards confidence. You could do that. The problem is you’re not teaching him the fundamental skill of staying in contact with what he’s experiencing in a way where he doesn’t have to fight it. The difference between NLP and this is NLP is teaching skill; this is teaching wisdom. It’s teaching contact with actual experience without fighting it. NLP is a beautiful modality, but NLP is all about change. It doesn’t teach acceptance; it doesn’t teach wisdom; it doesn’t teach contact and surrender to things that we cannot directly change. The irony is by having deep contact with this with a lot of clarity and letting it be there, it changes itself. Does this make sense? And on another level, it’s teaching another lesson. On a more subtle level, it’s teaching the experience of change, that things are always changing.


See, this feel whether he knows it or not is only changing anyway because you don’t stay terrified once the girl is gone and you’re home watching TV, do you? James: No. Ross: So at some point it fades out anyway. Does that make sense? So this is teaching him impermanence and change – a fundamental lesson in wisdom. Now, once he’s got that, I’ll show him how to build new feelings. But if I didn’t show him this first, what would happen? Likely what would happen is the new stuff would conflict with the old stuff. Which is going to come up with more force and more power? Probably the old stuff, because by virtue of repetition. It has what I call cognitive momentum and emotional intertia, meaning it’s had so much momentum, so much behind it that it just has more force. Now, if you have a really good hypnotic subject, you have someone who’s somnambulistic who measures four of five on the scale, you can do a lot. But most people aren’t there. So you hypnotists and NLPers, as a toolkit, as an addition to your toolkit, I urge you to study from mindfulness meditation, which is just the tiniest little piece, because it’s profoundly powerful. So your homework assignment is to practice this at home, and then when you go out and you see a woman, do what you need to do and once you got that feeling down to like a two, you want to say, “I claim my confidence with my smoking hot women who please, satisfy, and delight me in every perverted, sick way now.” You get it? Go ahead and have a seat. Wait a minute. Let me unpack something here. I gave you another piece. How many here, by the way, have no contact with feel because they’re dead from the neck down, they’re totally living in their head? 15 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

Well, you’re not quite that bad. You’re there. You don’t have any contact with any feeling at all? Male Participant: Yeah, I do. But I spin(?) a lot in my head. Ross: But you are capable of connecting with feel? Male Participant: Yes. Ross: If I punched you in the stomach, you’d get it? Male Participant: Of course. Ross: Or if that girl gave you a nice back massage, you’d have some feel. Male Participant: Oh yeah. Ross: Oh yeah. Okay. We’ll try to get more female volunteers so I don’t pick on you too bad. The first step is to connect into the actual feel. The first step is to bring your awareness to the actual feel, whatever that might be. This is all part of showing up attractive, before you have any social skill – or aside from your social skill. Now, when you tune in and you pay attention to the feel, a couple things are really important. First of all, it’s really important – really important – that you not try to change it, that you give up any desire to change it. Do we understand? What happened to him when he started pushing against it and tightening against it? It got stronger. That’s right. So you don’t fight it. Also, it’s important that you don’t feed it. Can anyone explain to me what I mean by feeding it? What would feeding it be?


Ross: Yeah. You say, “Oh, my God. This is awesome. Bitches hate me. Fuck it.” Whatever. Male Participant: You taught me so much. Ross: Come here and tell the camera – don’t tell me – so people hear it. People don’t believe me. I’m building this wall of proof because people don’t believe every word I say is true. Come here. Dominant touch. Go ahead. Male Participant: I’m a coach and I teach acceptance since three, four, five years because it’s helped me so much. But my ability to understand acceptance went to the next level four months ago when I really understood that acceptance is to allow yourself to feel the feelings that run through your body. When I started doing that Ross: Not emotions. Emotions are the labels people put on it – fear, love. Do you understand the difference? Male Participant: It’s the actual Ross: Sensations. Male Participant: Sensation that runs through your body. Yeah. So for me, it was in the pit of my stomach. That’s where it was. When I stopped trying to fight it, I became so comfortable with it. So even now, sometimes I can still have a bit of a sensation, say, one out of ten. But I’m okay with it. I don’t feel the need to Ross: And here’s the other thing. Because he’s okay with it, he changes what it means. Hold on here. If you don’t have contact with it, then you’re going to assume it means you’re about to fail. You’re going to assume that the feel sensation in your body is a signal of information from the world that you’re about to get rejected and you’re going to fail. In fact, that feel in your body contains no information about what that woman’s going to do. It’s just a signal of neurological activity.


One of the fundamental operating system errors is the way in which you interpret it and what it means that it’s there. What I’m trying to say to you is this. The fact that you’re having a feel experience gives you no necessary information at all about what’s going on outside of your own skin. It may or it may not. Chances are, though, it doesn’t. It’s just a signal that there’s something going on neurologically. There’s a conflict. Like my brother’s robot that I broke. Remember the story from yesterday? It’s a signal that there’s a neurological conflict, and because we’re not aware of that, because we’re not in contact with it, we assume it means we’re actually in danger. And then we run. Does that make sense? It feels very similar to a real fight or flight signal. It feels the way it would feel like if there was an actual predator in the Tundra coming after us. But when we can have contact with it, with a little bit of permission, a little bit of clarity, we begin to see it has nothing to do with what’s going on out there. It’s all internal, neurological conflict. It’s turning left and right at the same time – going back and forward at the same time. That’s the essence of approach anxiety. “All this stuff is genetically programmed in, because when we were cave men, if you tried to take the alpha male’s cave woman, you would be killed.” How the fuck does anyone know? Did they leave books and written records? Male Participant: That is so much crap, right? Because one thing which I came to understand over the last few years is that the feeling that you have in your body...you say feel, every feel that you have – whatever it is – is just a belief that is now that emotion. That belief has become an emotion within your stomach, so that fear is just a belief that you quickly carry. So your ability to be able to tune in to that feeling literally dissolves the belief. Ross: It’s changed from the ground up. You can do change from the top down. Change from the top down, I will teach you too, which is to literally change your belief – to take a belief that says “I can’t do it,” and 18 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

change it to “I choose what I can and cannot do and what I learn from each and every circumstance.” That’s change from the top down. This is change from the bottom up, from the neurological level upward. Do you understand the distinction or am I cutting this too thin or really piling it on? I’ll say it again. There are three different ways you can change. You can change behaviorally. You can just force yourself to do something over and over again. Through conditioned response, you’ll change. You can change cognitively. You can change a belief, either consciously or through hypnosis. So you go from the belief that says, “I’m always going to fail,” to “I can learn to do whatever I want to.” I’ll teach you that as well. But you can also do change from the bottom up, from the neurological level to the level of the limbic system upward. And when you get in touch with this primitive flow and feel in the body, that’s what you’re doing. You’re doing change from the bottom up, not from the top down. So here’s the thing. When you can change from the top down, meaning change your beliefs and I’ll show you how to do that, I will show you to not only how to take on a belief as an intellectual curiosity but wire it into your neurology. When you can change behavior by doing a set of new things and when you condition change at the neurological level from the bottom up, then you’re really hitting the problem three different ways. Does this make sense to you? I’ve seen this work on the most stuck people, and the reason I came up with all this stuff is I had to. Male Participant: You not only feeling, but also an image arises. Ross: Right. When image arises, here’s what you do. Here’s the next thing. You tune into the feel. If images arise or if self-talk arises, just keep putting your attention back on the feel. I promise you, images will arise. Self-talk will arise. When that happens, just keep putting your 19 Skills And Drills Module 1: Building Skill At Feel Transcript Included With Speed Seduction® "Sexual Aggression Mastery" Course © 1988-2011, Ghita Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved. www.seduction.com

attention back on the feel. Do you understand? Keep bringing your attention back where you want it to be. Remember I said talk about building focus, building will? I said cultivate witness consciousness, creative consciousness, and will. Will simply means bringing your focus back. We’re going to give you some focusing exercises later to help you do this. Male Participant: When I tune into that fear, it increases. Ross: Sometimes it may. It may increase; it may not. I don’t know. Increase is a change too. Going from 50 miles an hour to 60 miles an hour is a change. It may increase. It may appear to increase, when in reality, all you’re doing is finally paying attention to it. That’s okay. If it increases, that’s fine. That’s a change, too. So you tune into the feel and you let it be there. Then you’re going to track it. You’re going to track whether it’s the same or changing. Every ten seconds, you’re going to say to yourself “same” or “changing.” Does this make sense? Feel can change in different ways. For example, it can change location, it can change where it is. It can change intensity. It can become more intense; it can become less intense. It can change quality. A stabbing can become a burning, a burning can become gripping, a gripping can become a tingling. These are some of the ways in which feel can change. Does this make sense? You may also find sometimes that the feel is not continuous. You may have a patch of it here, and another patch here, some here. It may not always be in one spot. And your job is just to track it. Spend like two or three minutes paying attention to it without trying to feed it, without trying to fight it, and every ten seconds say “same” or “changing.” At the end of three minutes, evaluate it. On a scale of one to ten, where is it now?


In fact, when you first get in touch with the feel, you can say, “On a scale of one to ten, where is it?” when you first get in touch with it. I forgot that step. Then after three or four minutes of paying attention notice where it is. Measure it on a scale of one to ten. Male Participant: So you said we ignore the voices or images and just Ross: Keep putting your attention back on the raw feel. Male Participant: The other thing I wanted to ask. In a loop, just going more and more into this Ross: You’re saying is it rehearsing it? No. When you bring attention to it and permission to it


01 - Building Skill at Feel

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