Table of Contents Working with the Future Tutorial................................... Tutorial.............................................................................1 ..........................................1
The quick start. start................ ........................................ ..................................................................................1 .........................................................1 Smiling as a prerequisite. prerequisite............... ...... .............. .............. ........... ......................................................2 ..................................................2 Success stories. stories................ ............................................................................. ..................................................................................6 ....................6 Planning Plannin g the future. future .......... ..... ...................................... ..................................................................................9 ...............................................9 How do you know what is it you want?................................. want?...........................................................9 ..........................9 A Compelling Future.......................... Future...... ................................................................................15 ............................................................15 Making unwanted behavior behavior boring. boring.... ................................................................19 .............................................................19 Smile again. again..................... ..................................................... ................................................................................19 ...............................................19 Using fears.................................................... fears...................... ................................................................................20 ..................................................20 Creating a direction............................................................... direction........................................................................................21 .........................21 Positive Feedback................................... Feedback...........................................................................................24 ........................................................24 State of a passionate commitment. commitment................................... .................................................................24 ...............................24 The time Line.......................................................................... .................................................................................................25 ........................25
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The quick start. In this eBook we are going to talk about the Future. As we all know, "the future will come". And there is nothing wrong with this definition except for one little detail − it does not say anything about our role in this exciting process. And it is not providing any directions. How do we invite the future we want? How we avoid future we don't want?
So let's give another definition, keeping in mind that there is almost nothing wrong with the first one.
The future is going to be what we make it, period. I personally prefer this one.
But wait a minute! What about the fate? What about unavoidable destiny? In the text below I am going to talk about "unavoidable" things in details. For now − let me tell you a joke (in NLP we also call it a metaphor).
Once upon a time the explorer was riding his horse through the wild area that was known as populated by cruel man−eating tribes. Suddenly he bumped into just one of those tribes. There was MANY of warriors, they was painted in "colors of war" and
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they was armed with the sparrows.
"I am dead", the explorer thought.
"No", the inner voice said. "You are not dead yet. Kill few of them".
After all it was the inner voice! So the man took his rifle and shot few of his new enemies.
"Now get off your horse and throw away your rifle", the inner voice suggested. And the man obeyed his inner voice.
"OK", the inner voice concluded. "NOW you are dead".
The future is going to be what we make it.
I am going to teach you how to create and achieve goals, how to make sure that they that they are YOUR goals and not something not something you you just BELIEVE you need to do because "you are supposed to do it". We are going to use elements of NLP NLP Self−Hypnosis, Self−Hypnosis , and State of Power techniques Power techniques to do it.
Ready?
Smiling as a prerequisite. In the State the State of Power class Power class I am working really hard to make you ALWAYS SMILE. It is necessary. Why?
Or to put it in more general way − why should we feel good about our goals before we achieved them? Let's have an example. Ask a child to do something he do not
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like. First, you will have to overcome all possible objections. Then − if you push hard enough − the process (like cleaning the room) will begin. Slowly. Painfully. With large breaks and long complains...
Now ask the child to do something he wants. Go get some pizza... And before you completed the sentence, the child is out of the room, happy.
What happened? Why is it so difficult to do things we do not want to do?
Because we have what is called c alled a condition−response reaction to EVERYTHING in our lives. And the way it works is by linking the condition (clean the room) with the response (I feel bad about it). It is automatic, and it is very fast. It is so fast, as the mater of fact, that your so called "positive thinking" cannot overcome it − before you begin thinking positively, it is too late − the response is already there. And now you are creating a new condition−response association − between "I feel bad" and "I think positively". What a trap!
Not a trap. Let's do an exercise that come from the State the State of Power class. Power class.
SMILE. Yes. Smile. Put the smile on your face. In Hypnosis you would say "PUT A LIGHT RELAXED SMILE ON YOUR FACE". No. I don't want this smile to be relaxed. Make it big. Think − I am just trying to help − about the piglet on a cactus. I want this smile to be big enough for people to notice it FROM BEHIND. Yes. That's better.
I need a big dummy smile. GOOD! They say it is better to be a happy idiot than... than ... OK, you got it right. Keep smiling while I do explaining. As you all know, at least I hope that you do, because I hope that you have read the Introduction the Introduction to NLP, NLP , our physiology is closely related to our mental state. We feel good − we smile. We feel proud − our back is straight. And this relation works the other way too. We smile −
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we feel good.
And remember also, that what you feel is YOUR business. What does it mean? It means that YOU can DESIDE to FEEL as GOOD as you like. No mater what. You are in charge. Not this guy on the street that called you an asshole. You. You decide if you was insulted (and feel bad) or honored (and feel great about it).
KEEP SMILING. Now the question. How long does it take for the transition to happen from pretending to feel good to actually feeling good?
Keep smiling, I am about to make a photograph. You know this story about the dead men in a morgue who had a smile on his face? He was hit by lightning. Why was he smiling? He thought he was being photographed. So − how long would it take? It is thirty to sixty SECONDS!
That's right, in less than a minute your mental state will CHANGE. You just never did it before...
How do you feel? Do you realize that we just felt GOOD for no particular reason? All it takes is to SMILE for thirty seconds.
Now... If we can feel good about nothing − can we feel good about something? Like cleaning the room? Or speaking on public? Or making a new commitment at work? Yes, we can.
First, we smile and then we do things − while keeping the smile on our faces. Why will it work? Because the physiology (smile) is a very powerful way of altering the state of mind. Remember that karate movie? Every time before kicking someone's ass the main character screams − why? Is he doing it because he cannot control himself? Nope. After all, he spent so many years in the temple learning martial arts − he is a
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master. So − why would the master scream? Because he knows that it will change his physiology and it will change his state of mind − and it will happen almost instantly. He has his own condition−response system which goes like this: scream − become powerful.
Screaming is a great way to change your physiology − I wish there was a way to do it on public! Unfortunately our society is not yet ready for this powerful technique... So let's stick to smiling as you have less chances to get arrested for it.
Now as I mentioned screaming, I probably should also mention breathing − another powerful way of changing our emotions. Take a deep breath. One is enough − feel better? Do you realize that in order to TAKE A DEEP BREATH you need to unwrap your shoulders − which is a physiology of a powerful person? Well, you don't have to stop breathing, but why not to KEEP YOUR BACK STRAIGHT and your head up, and your smile on your face? Keep it.
As I mentioned in the State the State of Power class, Power class, when you LEARN TO SMILE at the world, the world is learning to smile at you. There are countless schools out there and each of them has the explanation of their own. Let's just stay with the basic NLP explanation as this eBook is not about "new age" stuff. Let's use the "transmitting the message" explanation.
The human brain is a natural pattern detector. We might or night not do it consciously (usually we do not), but we are very good in doing it unconsciously. My favorite example is with the man approaching a woman in the bar. He can learn all pickup lines in the world, and read all books about the seduction − but as long as he is AFRAID − the woman is going to detect it INSTANTLY. She probably wouldn't be able to tell why. She would just feel the guy is a looser.
To be fair, let me mention that men are equally good in detecting such things. It's just
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their judgment is very often influenced by other considerations ;) There is a point of view that the intuition is always correct − we just have problems interpreting it.
So when we are in certain state, it is as if we are transmitting the message to the world − to people around us. To dogs that are walking these humans. To the pigeon that is about to empty his bowels and is just looking for a good target ;) To the world.
So if we learn how to make this message POWERFULL, we will receive proper response. And if not... It is a known fact that the criminals can pick a victim in a crowd − there were some very interesting tests done. They are always picking the weakest person. Don't be one − and you will attract something good instead.
Success stories. What I did was not just explaining the benefits of smiling to you but also persuading you to SMILE. Now... as always when someone is persuading you to do something... You have a choice. You can do it or you can do something else. And it is important − and not always made clear in NLP books − that NLP is all about making this choice for yourself while the actual techniques are just techniques. The philosophy goes first.
There is a set of so−called Presuppositions of NLP (unfortunately at the moment SMLIE is not one of them. It is a presupposition of the State the State of Power). Power). And the main difference between NLP and most of the other "teach your dummy self to be successful" teachings is in the way it offers those presuppositions to you. It is not the Ultimate Truth, NLP says. And when you think about it − it is not even a truth. It is nothing but set of CONVENIENT BELIEFS. And it is entirely up to you to accept them .
What those beliefs will do to you? They will change the way you look at such things as success as well as your own abilities. For example, one of the NLP presuppositions
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states that "what one man can do, the other can learn, too". Wait a minute! It pretty much means that I can do anything! Why should I believe it?
Because − that's what they would say in the other schools of thought that are competing for your attention − here is John from Wyoming. He was a (looser, drunk, unemployed − you name it) before he started to do NLP (it is an expensive staff − where did this drunk get the money?). Now three month later he is a president of the successful company and father of three children (three children in three month! We are telling you − THIS STAFF IS POWERFULL!)...
Well, it is called a success story and I have to admit − they do it in NLP too. But let's filter out this crap − after all, this book is for people that still are capable to apply a critical judgment and even SMILE while doing it. The truth is, that if you take the average human being and ask him / her to do ANYTHING... the changes are usually for the good. All you need is to leave this coach and to do something. Eat more vegetables. Eat less vegetables. Exercise. Do not waste energy. Attend motivation classes. Stay away from those psychos with their classes. Anything new is good for you, well... at least better than doing nothing.
So yes, we can find John from Wyoming that did it and succeeded and if not − we can always make up the story. This is not the point.
When we do something long enough we become good in it. And as we are getting better, the behavior becomes automatic. Ask a 3 year old fellow what time is it − nothing will happen. Ask me and my left hand will move slightly even if I am not wearing watches in the moment. A habit.
It works the same way with thinking about success and failure. Let's think about something. Say − approaching a woman (if you are a man. By the way: to save space in this book I will mostly call the person "he" rather than "she" just because I am a
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man, men are lazy and "she" is one character more to type then "he") and before approaching a woman you think of all possible ways to fail − what will happen? You will probably fail. Or maybe you wouldn't approach her − it is so scary when you KNOW that you will fail. Right?
That's what success stories are for. You read about John from Wyoming and you picture yourself in his place. Feels good to think like a winner, doesn't it? Three month later he had three children? I have five now, so − I have a chance to get rid of two suckers? Hey, here is my credit card! How about my wife? Can I... Just kidding...
But this is not the point with success stories and why you need them. The story, if told properly − is another way to look at the most common problems people have, and they are DESIGNED in such a way that the problem does not seem to be a problem anymore. It is an opportunity... Now, remember what I said about practicing being successful or being a failure by playing it in your mind many times? When you play the NLP presupposition many times in your mind, you have a whole new way of thinking about your problems. They are challenges! They are opportunities! You cannot wait to prove it to the world − AGAIN!
And so − when the real opportunity comes you will have an automatic behavior ready and waiting. No time to waste.
It is done a lot at the Introduction the Introduction to State of Power when Power when the main presuppositions are that the life is wonderful, the world loves you and "you can do it". Just a convenient believe... and you can do it... whatever this "it" is.
Now − what is the difference between NLP presuppositions and our John from Wyoming example? There is none − if by telling you success stories, "they" are motivating you to take an action. And there is all difference in the world if this action is just taking another expensive class. cl ass. Remember − the NLP presuppositions are
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saying "John succeeded because he knew that he can do anything" as opposed to "John succeeded because he took this magic pill".
Planning the future. Now that we are motivated ;) let's talk about the plan. This is a very important part of the job, much more important than most people think. Because you see...
If you don't know where you are going, then you are probably lost.
Have you ever cooked the meal? You take ingredients, you mix them, and then you ask yourself a question − what is it I am going to cook? No. You make a decision first and then you pick the ingredients − according to the plan and based on the decision you made.
There are successful people in this t his world. And of course there are people who would like to reproduce their success and to learn and to teach others how to be successful. The founders of NLP, John Grinder and Richard Bandler (see the NLP the NLP Tutorial) Tutorial) did some amazing job in t his direction. They studied ways of MODELLING successful people so you can do what they do. But there also were people who was studying WHAT the successful people do differently from us, mortals. Guess what?
Among other things they ALL have a habit of planning their future. And not just planning − they would do it in a particular way, that I am going to describe below.
How do you know what is it you want? In NLP it is called a "well−formed outcome". Before I begin the long and exciting ;))) explanations, let me give you an example from my other eBook called the State the State of
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Power.. Power
This example is about making sure that you know what you want, as opposed to what you don't want. Say, you are married (and you are a man in this example). And your wife is cooking carrots. And you want a roast beef. Tell her. Tell her "I DO NOT WANT CARROTS". She would understand, would she? Well, not really. Because next time she cooked stuffed cabbage. And you have no choice but to tell her again: "I hate this stuffed cabbages". And next time she cooks the chicken pie...
Now was she malicious? No. You just didn't give her the right directions. And if − after the years of pain and suffering you tell her "listen darling, all I want is the roast beef"... You wouldn't believe how great results would be. No? You don't believe it it would work? How can it be so simple? You spent years trying and then I am telling you that it can be achieved in a matter of minutes? OK, go back to your old routine. "I hate this fish cake"...
This was just an example and you might smile at the stupid man... Until you realize that this is EXACTLY how most of us makes plans about future (all plans are about future. Sorry).
We go like "I don't want to be a government officer forever". OK, what do you want? No idea? Keep having your fish cake then.
The good news, as I already mentioned − we have some researches done on how to make plans to be successful. So all we need is to follow the "path of the wise".
First of all, there is a goal, there is a state and there is a dream. I mention somewhere on my Web site that the goal is a "dream with a deadline". Well... there is a little more in it.
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Dreams are often stated ambiguously. So are states. "I want to be happy" is a dream describing a state − but it is NOT a goal. Goal is always stated specifically. By this date I will work out the courage to order all eBooks from the http://nlp.snowseed.com/index.html − is a good example of the goal ;) Go for it ;))
The state can be achieved NOW. Now − this might sound strange... How can I BECOME HAPPY NOW − considering the circumstances? Very simple. You smile (see above). You see, we can achieve ANY state NOW − this is the whole point of NLP. We need NOTHING from the outside world to achieve any state − with exception of extreme scenarios of acute toothache − then we need to achieve a GOAL of getting the root canal done. But being happy? Confident? Calm? Not a goal. A state.
You might want to LEARN how to achieve those states, and this would qualify as a goal. But not the state itself.
So let me repeat − STATE is something we can have here and now. The goal requires time.
The dream cannot be measured. "I want" cannot be measured. "I will do this and this to get that" can be measured in terms of steps and for each step we know EXACTLY when we achieved it. Compare "I want to be smart" to "I want to graduate from the University, then to complete my PH.D in applied math, and by the year 2005 to become a chief engineer in Intel". How do you know that you are smart? Oops! But how do you know you have a Ph.D.? Because you have a verifiable feedback called a diploma.
The next statement might sound a bit selfish. Just remember − we are looking for the ways to achieve our goals and not for the way to choose directions in life. Anyway, the state or dream can be about others. The goal is always about yourself. "I want my
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children to go to college" is a dream (of every parent). While "I will put this amount of money every month AND I will teach my children about values of college education for one hour every time before the lunch" sounds like a goal.
Before we move in any direction − we need to know where are we going. We need to Know the outcome. outcome. I am going to talk more about the outcomes later. For now − we MUST know what we want.
Then we need to take to take action. action. As long as you stay on this coach you are not getting your outcome, unless the outcome is being on a coach.
We need a feedback. Let's have an example. I will go with the old good "men approaches a woman" routine as when doing so men are performing all mistakes in a book − what better example can I find? So the men is approaching a woman and he has a pickup line that he believes is rather unique. It sounds like "Hi. Nice dress. What's your name? I am John. Can I ask you out for a dinner?"
Now, a woman knows this line very well as every looser in the world tried it on her at least once. So the moment a men begins to talk, a woman has this bored expression on her face. I see it a lot in the bars, sometimes across the room. The men usually does not. So he goes on − until the pickup routine is over, and he has no results, so he is leaving in confusion.
We need the feedback. We need to know when we fail and when we succeed, and we need to know it early enough to be able to adjust our behavior. To put it in NLP language, we need to have to have sensory acuity. acuity.
Now that we have detected that our "guaranteed" pickup line doesn't work, what do we do? Well − ANYTHING. We do anything different. Because there is no point in doing something that we know doesn't work (most people would do it anyway,
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forever). So we need to have a behavioral a behavioral flexibility. flexibility. What do I do if I fail the plan number one?
By the way, there is no failure in NLP. Only the feedback. You cannot fail if you learn in process. See the NLP the NLP Tutorial to Tutorial to learn how to turn the failure into a feedback and then into a success.
In the State the State of Power class Power class the enormous amount of attention is dedicated to becoming powerful. I already mentioned approaching a woman, but it is not just about dating − it is about anything in our life. If we expect to fail − we are increasing our chances to fail DRAMATICALLY. DRAMATICALLY. And if we expect to succeed − we are making the success much more probable. I am not talking about "logical expectations" here. I am talking about a BELIEF. You need to (and you can learn it by doing NLP or State of Power techniques) expect the success, you need to learn to invite it... You need to operate from physiology and psychology of excellence. excellence .
That's why they say that misery is contagious. And the success is contagious contagious too. Stay St ay with winners. Make conscious choices about who your friends are and whom are you going to trust. Because (I talk about it a lot in NLP in NLP Tutorial) Tutorial) we are easily influenced and our only line of defense is to take control over the information we allow inside our head.
So what are the keys to achievable outcome? We talked about it already, so I will just summarize it in a list below:
1. It should be stated in positive. What specifically do you want? No negative. No "I don't want to..."
2. Specify the present situation. It is very important to be able to describe the "where are you now". Often we cannot do it, or we do not think it is necessary (what does it
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have to do with what I want?) or we do it wrong (You want your wife to change? First you need to be clear on what is wrong with your wife. Not wife. What is wrong with your relations with your wife. YOUR relations. So − who is in charge here? YOU. Until you realize this − nothing is going to change).
3. Specify the outcome. How are you going to get there? Remember the example with the "being smart" vs. having a Ph.D.? You need to be able to get a verifiable proof. And more than that − you need what in NLP is called a "sensory based" feedback. What will you see, hear, feel... when you have it? Very often we are thinking using the stereotypes that we got from the movies or (if we are lucky) from the books. They are not necessarily "ours". Let's take an example. You want to have a billion dollars. It is a nine digits amount. Sounds good? Let's analyze using the sensory−based information.
Will you be able to walk into your famous pub to chat with your friends? No. How do you feel about your children being followed by bodyguards anywhere they go? What are you saying? You will settle for a million dollars now? OK, fine. Six digits instead of the nine.
What we did is called a "future pacing" − we inserted the picture of the outcome into the future and checked if it is compelling for us.
4. Specify evidence procedure. How will you know when you have it? It is very simple with the million dollars, isn't it? Not really. You might have a million on your bank account. Or you might have a million dollars worse building in your possession and a negative cash flow. Make sure you know where you are going, and make sure the outcome is compelling.
5. Which brings us to the next question. Is it congruently desirable? What does it mean − congruently? In a loose translation from NLP to English it means "with all
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your heart and without second thoughts". To do it you need to be clear on what will this outcome get for you or will allow you to do.
6. The context of the outcome outcome is important. Where, when, how and with whom? (will you do it). Say: here in America, in three years, by participating in the NLP the NLP affiliate program and program and selling a 1,000 copies of eBooks per month to visitors of my (your) Web site (it is the answer to the "with whom" question) I will create an additional stream of income and in the same time by reinvesting it in the real estate and other investment vehicles, I will create a million dollars in buildings I own with the positive monthly cash flow. Sounds like a dream, but it is a goal.
7. Resources you have and resources you need. It is important to know − and maybe even to put on paper − what do you have now and what do you need to get your outcome? There is almost nothing that cannot be done one step in a time. If you do not have something − you can learn it or do it, or find it. So ask yourself a question − have you ever had or done it before? Have you ever done something similar? Maybe you know anyone who has? NLP teaches you how to MODEL people's behavior so if you find a role model, you can repeat the success. And if not − you can imagine the role model and learn from it. Why not? 9. Ecology is another NLP word, and one of the most important. For what purpose do you want your outcome? What will you gain or lose if you have it? What will happen if you get it? What wouldn't happen if you get it?... Sometimes we are blinded by the benefits (a billion dollars!) and we miss disadvantages of having it (children can be kidnapped). Ecology is about making sure that you and other people you care about are better with your outcome than without it.
A Compelling Future. How do we make our future compelling? Let me give you an example from the Introduction to State of Power free Power free online text. You will find a lot about making your goals fun and excitement in the State of Power class.
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Say, you are doing physical exercises. Oh, no! Yes, you do! And you are doing them starting Monday,,, I don't know what is wrong with Monday but it is the t he most difficult day of the week. Probably because it is the first day we do physical exercises. And the last day. Who had this experience?
My favorite example is push−ups, as at some point I really hated it... You are doing push−ups − are you happy at that moment? Keep smiling. No, you are not happy. You are tired, you need air, your muscles are sore... So why are you doing it? Because you want this push−ups to make you strong and slim and healthy. healt hy.
And you are doing these push−ups and what are you thinking? Oh, how stupid! Why Wh y am I doing it? Oh, I am so sore! Oh, I hate it! Right? Now, anybody remember what an anchor is − I was talking about it in Introduction in Introduction to NLP? NLP? It is when we create a state and link it to the way to access it. To the trigger. So what will you feel next time you think of the physical exercises?
And that is not just about sport, you know. People − like 99.99 percent of them − walk through the life like that. How many of you say "I hate my life"? So what state are you associating with your life?
So is there a way for you to be happy using this strategy? Sort of. Lets say you was persistent. Then some time later you notice that it works and you look better and feel stronger now. It is your REWARD and you might feel good about the whole thing. But you need to get some results first. That is part of your strategy: get results, then be happy about it. Right?
Wrong!
Using this strategy you will almost never get anywhere − too much suffering, too little motivation. Your strategy has too many "exit points" − every time you feel bad
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you will be tempted to exit. To stop doing what you do. To go back to the fridge full of chocolate. Bad strategy!
Let's design a good strategy now. Knowing what we already know it is so simple! First you SMILE! And you MAKE yourself happy. And you believe in your wonderful self. You can do ANYTHING. And you are feeling good about it. And then guess what will happen? You do push−ups with this happy smile of a dummy on your face. That's right. Why would you want to exit a strategy if it makes you feel good? You wouldn't...
So that's what we are going to work on − the State of Power. The state of a happy free person.
Now that we are done with an example, let's summarize what is it we need to make the future compelling.
In NLP it is called SUBMODALITIES and as choice is better than no choice, let me give you two choices. You may either download the NLP the NLP Tutorial... Tutorial... Just kidding...
What is a modality? It is Visual (we see things or imagine things), Auditorial (we hear things or talking to ourselves), Kinestetic (we feel outside stimulus, like heat or inside ones, called emotions).
Then what are SUBmodalities? For visual it can be colors of black−and−white, size and location of the image, shape of the image, presence or absence of a frame, brightness, movement (it can be a slide show, steady picture or a video) and so on. For Auditorial modality we can name tonality of a sound, pitch, voices at the background, direction/location of the sound...
For the Kinestetics − intensity, vibration, location...
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What do we do with it and what it has to do with our goals?
Let's make a little experiment. Take a paper and think of something you don't like to do, like cleaning the room. Write down the following questions in one column and answers to them in the other and make sure there is a space for the third column.
Where is the picture? What size is it? Is it color of black and white? Is it sharp or fuzzy? Is it framed? Is it panoramic? Are you in it or are you watching it from the outside? Is it steady or video?
Are there sounds? Voices? Noises? Where are they coming from (direction). Are they loud? Describe the tonality. The pitch? One source of sound or few? If voice − can you tell WHOSE voice is it (often people would talk to themselves with the voice of their parents or boss... strange people!).
What are the feelings? Heavy or lite? Steady or changing? In one place or moving around? Cold, warm, tinkling...
Now think about something you enjoy and in the third column write the second set of answers to the same questions. And then...
Compare the answers. In most cases you will find that there are some submodalities that are very different − we will call them CRITICAL.
This is how we organize our experiences and this is also how we distinguish between different emotions that are attached to the experiences. So... Can we move the submodalities around to make a boring task more compelling? compelling?
The answer is yes. It is done a lot in NLP in NLP Tutorial using Tutorial using the NLP techniques (I will also talk a little about it below) and in State in State of Power tutorial Power tutorial I do it differently − in a
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more covert and much more fun way. The submodalities are a "tool of choice" of Richard Bandler and he is REALLY good with them. them.
So how do we do it. In the NLP the NLP Tutorial I Tutorial I am talking about the technique that is called Swish. Or we can JUST DO IT by changing the submodalities directly. directl y. Make the picture bigger. Brighter. Add soundtrack from the Donald Duck cartoon. And if you cannot do it − PRETEND that you can − in the State the State of Power eBook Power eBook I talk a great deal about "pretending" vs "actually experiencing". There is no difference. None.
Making unwanted behavior boring. This is a reverse side of what I was talking in the previous chapter. If we know what are the submodalities of a boring experience, can we make the unwanted behavior boring? You bet! Say, we know that for the unwanted behavior the "picture is big and bright". Like seeing this piece of chocolate ten inches from your nose and hearing the wrapper paper being removed, and smelling and feeling the taste... fifteen times a day. Now, let's make the picture black and white, and make the sound more like "nail scratching the glass" and make the feeling of a "tooth sensitive to the sugar". Replay it couple of times in your mind. Want some chocolate? No? Strange...
Smile again. This is a universal one. We do not need to elicit submodalities to get this one. When we are happy − we smile. And when we smile − I know, it sounds so unds strange − we are getting happy! So SMILE when you think of something you want to make compelling (much much more in the State the State of Power eBook) Power eBook) and make a bitter face when you think about things you rather not do.
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You see, our unconscious mind is very concerned c oncerned with making us happy. When we (usually − by accident) run across something that makes us happy, the unconscious will remember it and influence our behavior in such way that we "accidentally" do it again. So if every time you think about the goal, you are smiling... does it mean that it will be associated with "feeling good"? Yes! And then − sometimes to your surprise − you might "accidentally" achieve it − just because your unconscious mind wanted you to feel good. And what if you consider your goal as a heavy and unpleasant duty? Well, for the same reason your unconscious will do anything to keep you away from "being unhappy". And this "anything" includes some very nasty things that happen to you as if "by accident" − until you understand what is going on and reach a better terms with your unconscious.
Using fears. "You must pay us, or else your family will be in trouble" Is it a blackmail? No, it is a commercial selling the life insurance. But we are not going to talk about growing fears in this book (or in any other book).
We are going to talk about using fears. Making lemonade from lemons. Making dinosaurs from dynamite. Making poo from the shampoo... sorry. I got carried away. Using fears. Yes.
You see, the fear is nothing but the state of mind. And as any other state it has SUBMODALITIES. SUBMODALITIES. And we already know what to do with them − we move them around to change what we feel.
But there is a problem here. We are creatures shaped by long and merciless natural selection. We have survival instincts. If you KNOW that there is a danger and you move the submodalities of fear to change it to "nice and relaxed" cool state... It might not work. And it wouldn't work for a long time. And it is certainly not
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ECOLOGICAL − you still remember what ecology is, right?
Because it is like removing the sign "danger" − it is just the sign we removed. The danger is still there.
And we need to do something about it, unless we want to keep it around forever. So we move submodalities of fear A LITTLE. We change it from "I am facing a hungry grizzly" to "I am on a rollercoaster". We make it an impatient excited anticipation.
There is a lot of energy involved in fear. When we are afraid, we are helpless − because we spend all this energy fighting the fear within us. And when we change the submodalities and channel our fear outside as a anticipation... We claim this energy. They say that the most dangerous animal on the planet is a cornered cat. Now you know why. Claim the energy of fear. Use it.
Just keep in mind that there is a difference between being brave and being stupid. You don't have to be afraid of snakes. But when you see the king cobra you might consider running away and it has nothing to do with being a coward. It is an intelligent decision. I am not phobic of grizzly bears. But will I approach one? No.
Creating a direction. I have already mentioned the SWISH technique − one of the wonderful tools NLP has to offer to those who would be willing to learn. The swish is based on chaining states − emotional and physiological states − in such a way that one state serves as a trigger (an anchor) and another as a response to this anchor.
Let's have an example. Say you are a woman and you have a nasty nail−biting habit. What we can do is to use Shish (NLP ( NLP Tutorial) Tutorial) to make the first moment of the nail biting (hand is moving towards the mouse) the trigger that instantly fires the
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response, for example "touching hair". So instead of biting nails you would be fixing your hair. Good. What does this possibly have to do with setting and achieving goals?
A direction.
As we are moving towards our goals, we need to be sure that we move where we we want to be and we do not stop and we do not deviate from the course. And what is the Swish (or any other anchor chaining technique (see the NLP the NLP Tutorial) Tutorial) if not setting the direction?
Now, there is a slight detail here. A little one... The condition−response works instantly. That's why it is so powerful when used as a technique t echnique and so nasty when we "suffer" from it. But the scope of a GOAL is not an "instant" − it can takes years, even decades!
But it works anyway. All we need to do is to find essential elements for each step that we are planning to accomplish (remember − we need to be able to identify the steps, and how we know that we achieved them). And then we need to link them together. How?
By rehearsing the plan many times in our mind. The way our mind works is by following strategies that we have. And the way we get strategies is by doing them. And then doing them again... So if you rehearsed becoming a millionaire (a goal. A well−formed outcome. Step by step. Not just a dream) fifty times then the fifty first might just happen automatically in the reality. If you rehearsed approaching a girl in a bar with a confidence and sense of humor for fifty times − it WILL happen automatically in the reality. Just make sure you know your steps.
Steps are important. "I am going to become a NLP a NLP Affiliate" Affiliate" is a step. If you created a link between "I know I have it" and the next step, and if you make sure (by smiling
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and working with submodalities) that you FEEL GOOD about it − then as soon as you know that your affiliate membership is taken care of, you will go right to the next step.
Can't you do it without this funny stuff?
Yes, if you remember. Think about the "approaching girl in the bar" situation. You are there, thinking about the next glass of beer. Then you turn around − and here she is, next to you, and she already (just being polite) said "hi". You either will do something NOW or you will miss this window of opportunity. So you can : 1) remember about NLP, 2) remember about states, 3) move to the state you need by doing the breathing exercises 4) think of something funny and 5) notice that it is midnight already and the girl is gone. Or you can (provided that the chain "see the girl − become funny" is in place as a condition−response mechanism) just say "excuse me... did you just offered me a drink?" Much faster.
Or − if you are a sales person − you will act on the opportunity instantly and sell your stuff.
Or − if you are in "I need a million dollars" mindset − you might forget your steps two years down the road. But if you did a proper rehearsal − you unconscious mind will remember. And few years later you might say "I made this million dollars and this NLP crap has nothing to do with it" − and you will have no idea that all these years you was following the plan that you created using the submodalities, shish and Time Line (explained below). You just did it and it just happened... right. There are very few things in the life, if any, that "just happen". We just cannot see the pattern...
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Positive Feedback. Something that is used in States in States of Power class. Power class. Actually, it IS the States of Power concept. The dolphin jumps through the ring − the dolphin gets a fish. The human does something right − the human gets a ... What should we give this guy so that he feel appreciated?
We compliment the guy... I mean − we compliment our selves. We tell ourselves how good we are and how proud we are that we did (whatever). And we feel good about it. Because the unconscious mind will work hard to make you happy − if you make sure that every little step towards your goal is making you happy. All you need to do. Feel good about your goal. And unconsciously it WILL BECOME compelling.
State of a passionate commitment. There are two aspects to be discussed in this chapter. One is about you and one is about others. Let's talk about others first. Let's say that you finally believed me that by feeling frustrated we are transmitting a message to the world. And you decided to change − what state should you have instead? What state should you be in while working on your goal?
That was about others. And about you − what is it YOU need to enjoy the process of working on the goal?
It's called a COMMITMENT. A state of a passionate commitment.
We achieve it same way we achieve any state. We smile. We find and change submodalities. Then we amplify the feeling. Let's do it.
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Find something small (do not change the world until you finish this book). Something like doing physical excercises. Think about it. And as you think about it, you might notice your feelings and as you imagining yourself doing the excercices − imagine, just for the sake of an experiment, that you you are smiling. Actually, you might wonder wonder if you can DO IT − imagine yourself doing the excercises. while smiling. And feel the difference. Some people like being strong and as the strong people are doing excercises. AND SMILE they FEEL GOOD. They like the feeling of the muscles becoming stronger and they know that − and who knows − maybe they smile because of it − they might actually ENJOY it. And still − as it is only our imagination − I would like to invite you to pretend and imagine that your body changes and becomes a strong and healthy as you wanted it always and you LIKE IT now. And keep smiling as you THINK of you doing this excercises. and feeling so good in i n this new body and NOTICE that every movement makes you stronger, healthier, happier. As you TAKE A DEEP BREATH and you UNWRAP YOUR SHOULDERS − have you ever noticed that you can TAKE A DEEP BREATH with the SMILE and you NOTICE how GOOD the air feels − SO GOOD! And it is so powerful − you are so powerful and smiling as you TAKE ANOTHER DEEP BREATH, and you stretch your body and double this feeling of happiness. That's right − it is as if the smile almost... yes... And when you take another breath − stretch up and double the feeling of happiness again. Smile wide! And triple it!
It is a dream, and we can wake up if we want.
The time Line. Warning. This technique is VERY powerful. Read the Time Line Therapy and the basis of Personality and be careful. It is a nuclear bomb among NLP techniques. And if you didn't read the disclaimer at the beginning of this eBook − this is a good time, read it.
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As you think about your past − think of the memory of you being seven years old. Where did this memory came from? What physical location? Now think of the memory of you in fifteen years old. Where this memory came from? And think of the memory of you being sixty. What? You are not that old? Think of your memory of a future. Where did this memory came from? What location? Do you realize that they are all aligned somehow and one after another and not at random at all?
By now you should have a well−formed outcome that you want to achieve in future. Keep looking at your timeline (with inner eyes). Decide when you want this outcome to be achieving and find this period of time on your time line − in the future. Make a compelling (you should already know − how) image of the goal and put it there. Make compelling images of the steps you need to perform in order to achieve your goal − and put them in the Time Line between now and the goal. Do not worry about "how" − your unconscious knows much more than you think and it will take care of the details. IF the outcome is well−formed and ecological.
In your mind − fly to the "here and now" on the Time Line and look towards the goal. You can see it (or pretend that you do) no mater how far it is. Feel excited about achieving it. Take a DEEP POWERFULL BREATH and when exhaling, "breath" this energy as a soft friendly light into your Time Line, so that your future has much more energy now and notice how much more different it feels. How powerful. And with the smile − unwrap your shoulders and keep your head up − you are becoming a powerful person NOW. And as you breath out notice more energy going into your Time Line and more power − which is yours NOW. And from now on. Yours. And you might suddenly realize that the goal and those little intermediate goals that you have planted in your future are now producing their own light − see it, don't you? And notice also, as you TAKE ANOTHER DEEP BREATH, how the events in your future are rearranging to support your new goal. And make sure you FEEL GOOD about it and make sure you compliment yourself for the beautiful job you did.
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That is it. The end. May the Force be with you, if there is such thing as the Force and you want it to be around ;)
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