Three Lives Three Worlds, Ten Miles of peach Blossoms by Tangqi Gongzi
Translated by: Hamster428 Website: http://hamster428.livejournal.com/ Prologue I've been sleeping a little too much recently. Nainai says, “It is probably your pregnancy that is making you sleepy. M'lady needs not worry.” Nainai is my maid, and the only one who smiles at me here at Sawu Palace, the only immortal to call me “M'lady.” All the other fairies look down on me. Only because Yehua didn't give me any title. And Yehua didn't give me a title because I'm a mortal, not a fairy. It seems Nainai has opened the window because there is a slight breeze coming through, and there is a faint sound of someone's steps from outside. Nainai's voice is tinged with happiness, “M'lady, the Crown Prince is here to visit you.” I sit up in still my silk nightgown and rest against the bedframe. My mind is not fully conscious. Although I have awaken, I am still awfully exhausted.
The bed cushion weighs down a little, and I guess Yehua has sat down next to me. I hazily asked him, “Are the stars beautiful tonight?” He remains quiet for a while, then replies, “Susu, it is now daytime.” I want to wipe my eyes by habit, but when my hand touches the white fabric around my eyes, I suddenly remember. My eyes are no longer there. In the future I won't know what to do. Night and day will be undistinguishable and I won't be able to se anything anymore. Yehua goes into deep thoughts momentarily and finally says, “I'll marry you. I will be your sight.” Susu, I will be your sight. I push him away by reflex. The nightmare from that night immediately drowns over me, frightening me into shivers. Yehua grips my hand tightly and quickly asks, “Susu, what's wrong?” I lie through my trembles, “I'm only a little tired. You can attend to your business now. I want to sleep a bit more.” I never wanted to part with this person and his affections before. But I can't stand any of it now. I'm only curious. If he had loved the other woman, why ever did he agree to my ridiculous request back then? The past, the past, if I had known I wouldn't have done so. Yehua left. Nainai softly closes the door. I fall back onto the bed while fuzzy images flit through my head: at times it's scenes from Mount Junji at Donghuang, at times it's Yehua's face, then it became the bloody weapon that unfairly took away my eyes. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts so much I want to cry. But no tears would come. I think to myself I will return to Mount Junji after giving birth to this child. Where things begin is where they should end. While being in thoughts, Nainai comes through the door and softly asks me, “M'lady, are you awake yet?” I try and faintly reply her, “What is it?” Nainai slows her steps, “Lady Sujin sent her maid to ask if you'd like to come over and have tea.” I wearily pull the blanket up to my face, “Say I'm still sleeping!”
I don't understand at all why Sujin has been unfailingly nice to me recently. Is it because she feels guilty for taking my eyes away and turning me into a blind person? Or does she too understand she was the one to make Yehua unfairly take my eyes? I'm no longer the silly girl of three years ago. The little girl who was always worried and wanted to please everyone. In the afternoon, Nainai wakes me up and tells me that the sunlight has shone inside the court and would like to take me out for a sunbath. She prepares the reclining chair and wants to help me over. I turn down her care and slowly find my own way out by following along the wall. I should be able to do at least this much. Otherwise, how will I survive on my own when I return to Mount JunJi. I become sleepy again while in the sunlight. My mind becomes hazy as if I'm still floating in a dream. I suddenly remember the day I met Yehua three years ago. His hand held a cold sword. His blood-covered body fell infront of my door. I clumsily brought him inside, took out medicines, and speechlessly watched as his injury closed on its own. So then I didn't save him. So then he needn't repay me. And he needn't because of my one sentence, “Why don't you repay me with yourself?” marry me and give me this child in my womb. From the earliest of my memories, I had always been alone on Mount Junji. Surrounded me were only birds, fish, insects and things. I thus had no name. He then called me Susu and told me it's to be my name from then on. I was filled with happiness for days. Afterward, he took me to Jiuchongtian (Heaven). That was when I found out my husband is the grandson of Tianjun (Heavenly Lord). At that time, he was also crowned Crown Prince. No one acknowledged he is my husband here on Jiuchongtian. He's never once told Tianjun he married a mortal from Donghuang either. One night, I brought food to Yehua's residence. There was no guards around the manor. Only the melancholic voice of Lady Sujin rang out. “You married a mortal merely because you wanted to punish my unfaithfulness for marrying Tianjun. You didn't have a solution and neither did I. It was impossible to refuse Tianjun's favor, being a woman in this world. Yehua, tell me, you still love me am I not right? You call her Susu all because there is a “Su” in my name right?” The dream replays each scene to match exactly with reality and it makes me sweat cold sweats. I carefully carress my protruding stomach. It's been three years and I'm guessing it's about time for labor.
The next night Nainai doesn't come by to help me go to bed. I still cannot fetch washing water by myself so I have to rush her. Nainai fixes the beddings and says, “You should wait a bit more, perhaps His Highness will come by today.” My smile freezes on my face. After that incident, Yehua hasn't come here to rest. Of course I know he won't come by in the future either. If at that time on Mount Junji at Donghuang he had told me there is already someone else in his heart, I wouldn't have let him marry me. At that time I hadn't loved him either; I was only a clouded person. But he didn't say anything. He married me and even took me to this place called Jiuchongtian. I'm kind by nature so I could ignore whatever complications there are between the two of them. I thought no matter what, the person he married was me. We bowed to Heaven and Earth in Donghuang and I was also carrying his child. One of these days he was sure to be touched by my love for him. He also treated me with more kindness as each day went by. So I allowed myself the small misbelief that even though he doesn't love me, perhaps there was at least some tiny affection. Love sometimes makes people small and petty. But then it happened. And when I woke up from my dream, I've lost my sight, I've lost light. *** That day, Lady Sujin invited me to Yao Chi (Jade Pond?) to look at flowers. I thought it was a small party with other fairies as well so I stupidly agreed. When I arrived at Yao Chi, I realized there was only the two of us. After waving the maids away, she pulls my hand along to Zhuxian Tai (Execute Fairy Terrace). Standing on Zhuxian Tai, she coldly smiled at me, “Have you heard? Tianjun will make Yehua the Crown Prince. And he will bestow me to Yehua as his wife?” Even until then I couldn't understand the relationships between these fairies. I only felt my blood was boiling, not knowing if it was from anger or from sorrow.
She went on carelessly, “Yehua and I were soulmates from the beginning. Jiuchongtian isn't a place for mortals. After giving birth, you only have to jump from here to go back to where you came from.” I wasn't sure if jumping from Zhuxian Tai will bring me back to Mount Junji or not. I hadn't thought of leaving. I just hastily asked her, “Yehua wants me to leave? But I'm his wife, shouldn't I stay with him?!” Now that I think about it, such words only brought me more shame. But at that point, I still thought Yehua had liked me a little. As long as he liked me just a little, I would stay with him forever. Sujin smiled and sighed. She pulled my hand and led me up to Zhuxian Tai. I thought she wanted to push me down but the person who fell from Zhuxian Tai was she. I hadn't had time to react when I saw a dark shadow flying past me to follow her. Yehua held Sujin and stood infront of me. His cold eyes were burning with anger. Sujin weakly said to him through her delicate breaths, “Don't blame Susu. I don't think she pushed me on purpose. She was probably affected after hearing that Tianjun wanted to give me to you.” Unbelievable. Clearly, clearly I didn't do anything. “It wasn't me. It wasn't me. I didn't push her. Yehua, you have to believe me. You have to believe me.” I quickly explained to him. In the moment of bewilderment, I hadn't known I only looked like a fool. He waved his hand and calmly warned, “That's enough. I only believe what I saw.” He didn't want to listen to my explainations. He didn't believe me. He held Sujin with worried eyes and hastifly left Zhuxian Tai. That night he stood infront of me. His expression was grave as he said, “Sujin's eyes are damaged by the tear-energy at the bottom of Zhuxian Tai. Susu, you'll have to repay according to the wheel of retribution. But don't be afraid, Susu. I'll marry you. From now on I will be your sight.” He's never mentioned marriage to me before on Jiuchongtian. My heart suddenly was filled with chill. Anger and fright together started to rise. I held his hand and shook it furiously, “Why do you want to take my eyes? She jumped down by herself, she jumped down by herself. I had nothing to do with it. Why won't you believe me?”
His gaze seemed painful but he only smiled coldly, “The tear-energy is thick at the bottom of Zhuxian Tai. Why would she jump down there herself? Did she not want to live anymore? Susu, you're being more and more unreasonable.” I only had him on Jiuchongtian. I had always thought once I give birth to the child, we would hold hands and look at ten miles of cloud, ten thousand miles of twinkling stars. He didn't know what bright light means to me. I unfairly lost my two eyes. Nainai cared for me for three days straight. Three days later, Sujin came to see me and said, “Your eyes – I'm using them well.” I finally understand What it means to love What it means to hate It was all a lovers quarrel between the two of them. I was merely an oblivious bystander and yet how did I come to be a victim target? *** These past two days I finally can distinguish day from night. I have learned how to tell each hour by ear. After noon, Nainai runs into the courtyard and breathes heavily as she says, “M'lady, the Heavenly Lord has just passed down a decree to give Lady Sujin to His Highness the Crown Prince.” I slightly smiled. It's been a while since Yehua became Crown Prince. This is only a matter of time. But it's not like Sujin will be able to be his main wife. I recently heard that Tianjun has promised to Baizhi Dijun of Qingqiu kingdom that whoever becomes the next Tianjun will have to marry Bai Tian, the Dijun's daughter. My stomach suddenly becomes extremely painful. Nainai calls out, “M'lady, what's wrong?” I lift my head up and say, “I think I'm going into labor.” I come in and out of consciousness due to the pain in labor. When Sujin had her eyes replaced, Yehua was by her side for one day and one night. But right now there is only Nainai by my side. I try my best to not call out his name. I've gone through enough hurt and pain, so there is no need to walk down that path again.
Nainai cries as she speaks, “M'lady, let go of my hand so I can go find His Highness.” I'm in so much pain I can't say anything. I can only mouth the words, “Nainai, help me a little more, just a little more.” Nainai cries even louder. I don't know when Yehua arrived. When I come to, he is holding my hands, the cold cold hands. He brings the baby over and says, “Touch the baby, he looks a lot like you.” I remain still. I like this child. But I can't possibly bring him to live with me on Mount Junji by myself. It's best to leave him behind. If that's the case, it's best not to touch him, not to hold him, not to develop deeper affections. Yehua still sits by my side for a long time without saying anything. After Yehua leaves, I call Nainai over and tell her I'm naming the child A Li, and for her to watch over him in the future. Yehua comes to visit me each day. He was never a talker to begin with. I used to be talkative but recently no longer feel like it so for the most part we only silently sit next to each other. He doesn't tell me about his marriage to Sujin. Nainai doesn't mention it either. Three months later my body recovers greatly. He brings over many different fabrics and told me to pick the ones I like for a wedding dress. He says, “Susu, I told you I'll marry you.” Of course I know he thinks I'm pitiful. He sees in me a mortal who has lost her eyes. Even though I supposedly brought it upon myself, I had made him angry as well as rueful. I think to myself it's best to leave. There is no longer a reason to keep me here on Jiuchongtian. Everytime I go for a walk with Nainai, I try my best to memorize the path from Sawu Palace to Zhuxian Tai. Nainai is extremely surprised but I tell her I like the fragrance of the flowers lining the path. Half a month later I can use my sense to accurately navigate from Sawu Palace to Zhuxian Tai.
Deceiving Nainai is a very easy thing to do. Standing on Zhuxian Tai, my heart feels as light as air. With A Li in Nainai's care, I am further at peace. But suddenly I want to clearly tell Yehua once that I didn't push Sujin whether he believes me or not. When we were still on Mount Junji, Yehua once gave me a very beautiful bronze mirror. He had to attend an important business at the time and I was left at home alone. He took out a treasure from his sleeve and told me no matter where he was, I only had to call out for him from the mirror and he'd be able to hear me. He would talk to me a while if he was free. I don't know why I brought it with me to Jiuchongtian either. It's probably because it's the only gift Yehua has ever given me. I take the mirror out. It's been a long time since I called his name, so it feels awkward coming from my lips now. I softly says “Yehua” A while later his voice came ringing by my ears, “Susu?” I forget that he's not standing next to me, so I slowly step forward. With much difficulty I open my mouth, “I have to return to Mount Junji. Don't come find me anymore. I'll be fine by myself. Help me take good care of A Li. I've always dreamt you and I can hold the child's hands and show him the sun and moon, stars and clouds. We would tell him our story on Mount Junji in the past. Unfortunately that is no longer possible.” I think for a bit and continue, “Don't tell him his mother is a mortal. Heavenly fairies won't want to have anything to do with mortals.” They're clearly words of ordinary goodbyes, but why do I suddenly want to cry? I quickly look up to the sky, but then I remember I've lost my eyes. There's no more tears to shed. Yehua's voice becomes urgent, “Where are you?” “Zhuxian Tai,” I reply. “Lady Sujin told me I only have to jump from here to return to Mount Junji. I can't see anything around me now. Mount Junji is my home, so its surroundings will be familiar to me. Living by myself there won't be worrisome.” He hastily cuts my words short, “Susu, stay where you are. I'll come immediately.” I really don't have any courage to explain to him one more time that it wasn't I who pushed Sujin. He still won't believe me and I can't bear the disappointment of losing his trust. I say, “Yehua, I'm letting go. You should also let go. The two of us won't owe each other anything more from now on.”
The bronze mirror falls from my hand, making a clashing sound. Yehua's unclear voice shouted angrily, “Stay exactly where you are. You can't jump...” I turn and jump from Zhuxian Tai. Yehua, there's nothing more I ask of you. It's all ended. *** Up to that point I still don't know that I'm not actually a mortal. The tear-energy at the bottom of Zhuxian Tai inflicted countless injuries on my body. But because it was also the tear-energy of thousands of heavenly soldiers, it was able to break the seal placed on me. I hadn't realized this seal started two hundred years ago when Demon king Jingshang invaded Donghuang. In the end, while trying to imprison him once more, he was able to put a seal on me during our battle. It sealed away my memory and heavenly powers and made me into a mortal. As the past trickles back, I silently ask myself, “Bai Tian, you were born a fairy, so you don't have to practice the arts to become an immortal. But there's nothing so easy on Heaven and Earth. If you didn't go through a painful experience, how can you reach the higher realm?” So these years of love and hate were all a part of that painful experience. I faint at Shi Li Tao Hua (10 Miles of Peach Blossoms) of Master Zheyan to the east of the East Sea. After saving me, he sighs and says, “Your parents and brothers have been searching for you endlessly. I myself didn't have one peaceful night of sleep for the past two hundred years. But your eyes, and these injuries... what had happened to you?” What had happened? Just a painful experience. I smile and reply, “I still remember you have a medicine that can erase all memories, correct?” Zheyan furrows his brows, “It seems you really did go through many painful times during these past decades.” In front of me was a bowl of steaming medicine. In this world, there has never been a Susu on Mount Junji. It was merely a dream of the fairy Bai Tian, daughter of Baizhi Dijun. The endless sorrow slowly turns into smoke among the blossoms' vibrant color. After waking up from a dream, one should forget everything he went through. Opening Chapter
Three hundred years later. Donghai Shuijun (Water Lord of the East Sea) has a new son. In preparation for the child's one-month-old celebration, he goes all the way to Lengxiao Palace and ask for a few days of leave. Tianjun (Heavenly Lord) agrees with one eye opened and one eye closed. Duobao Yuanjun becomes curious as it was only a small party. There was no need for such effort. Thus that day after Court is dismissed, he follows Nandou Zhenjun (Lord of the South Star?), who has always been close to Donghai Shuijun, wanting to ask for all the details. Jiuchongtian (Heaven) has always been a boring place. Even Donghai Shuijun's request for a few days of leave has caused curiosity among the immortals. Everyone circles around Nandou Zhenjun in front of the palace the moment Duobao Yuanjun opens the topic. Nandou Zhenjun surprisingly asks, “Did you all not know that the Lady of Qingqiu will also be present at next month's feast?”
Past the East Sea is a distant land called Qingqiu. Zhenjun stops here and turns to face Qingqiu in the east to bow respectfully, then continues, “The Lady's eyes are weak, so she cannot look directly into bright light. But then the Palace in Donghai are made with coral walls and gem shingles. The gold and gems are too blinding. That's why Donghai Shuijun has been collecting seaweeds from everywhere to make a curtain preventing the light from spreading.” Just as he finishes, the crowd infront of Lengxiao Palace lets out an “Oh!” The Lady Nandou Zhenjun has just mentioned is the daughter of Baizhi Dijun. Surnamed Bai, with a single character Tian for her name. She comes from an ancient immortal line so people call her Gugu (Lady) to show respect. From the start of time until now, there has been countless changes of power in Heaven and Earth as a result of wars between different lineages. Ancient lineages have either disappeared or stay in deep sleep. The only ones left are Tianjun on Jiuchongtian, Master Zheyan at Shi Li Dao Hua to the east of Donghai, and Baizhi Dijun from the Qingqiu Kingdom***. (***Dragons, Phoenixes, and Foxes respectively) To speak of Bai Tian, one cannot neglect to mention a big secret of the Tianjun family.
According to folklores, fifty thousand years ago Bai Tian and the second prince of Tianjun were betrothed. It was an agreeable marriage between two great families. But for some reason Zang Pi (or Ji?) fell for Bai Tian's maid and insisted on retracting the engagement. Baizhi Dijun couldn't stand the insult and came to Jiuchongtian with Master Zheyan to ask for an explanation from Tianjun. Tianjun was thus angered and banished the 2nd Prince to the north, effectively giving him the title Beihai Shuijun (Water God of the North Sea). He then gave a Heavenly decree which ties the next Heavenly King, no matter who from the heavenly lineage, to marriage with Bai Tian. More than three hundred years ago, Tianjun announced to the four seas and eight lands that Yehua will become the next Heavenly King. The fairies on Jiuchongtian all thought they'd be drinking celebratory wine for Yehua and Bai Tian within a few days. But three hundred years passed and there is still no news of their wedding. They only know although Lord Yehua has a son, the position for lady of the house is still vacant. Bai Tian on the other hand still lives in Qingqiu and no one has been able to invite her away from her home. He's unmarried, and so is she. But the families are seemingly not in a hurry. It is something strange indeed. The immortals wonder a while and then envy Donghai Shuijun to be so fortunate for being able to invite the Lady who has never stepped out of Qingqiu in over many thousand years. Nandou Zhenjun nods his head and says, “It certainly is an honor. But Donghai Shuijun has been in turmoil for the past few days because he has also invited Beihai Shuijun thinking the Lady wouldn't accept the invitation. The other day I've also heard that Lord Yehua also brought the little prince to the east land and stopped by Donghai for a visit. The three of them are sure to meet each other at the party. Donghai Shuijun is now afraid he might've caused a catastrophe when that day comes.” Most of the fairies on Jiuchongtian are older ones with prior knowledge of this story between the three. But a young fairy who's only came to heaven not too long ago ignorantly asks, “Who is this Qingqiu Lady? Did she, Lord Yehua, and Beihai Shuijun have a deathly feud?” The fairies explain until their saliva all dry up. The silly young fairy still doesn't understand the importance in the story and instead asks, “Beihai Shuijun would rather anger Baizhi Dijun to marry the Lady's maid. Then I wonder how pretty that maid was.”
Duobao Yuanjun covers his mouth and coughs, “I've actually met her. When the 2 nd Prince brought her before Tianjun, wanting to give her a title, I could see that she was definitely a rare beauty. But she's still far below Baizhi Dijun's wife. I haven't met the Lady, but rumors have it that she looks very much like her mother, even thrice as beautiful.” The oldest deity among them, Nanji Xianjun (Lord of the South Pole), strokes his long white beard which touches the ground and says, “I actually have seen the Lady once when I was young. I was still an attendant serving Tianjun at the time. When he visited Master Zheyan to view the peach blossoms, the Lady was dancing atop the tree branches. She was too far away so I could only see her rosy dress among the blossoms. The scene was so very magical, so very magical.” The fairies sigh and lament how unpredictable Fate is for such a stunning beauty to be rejected in marriage. After more banters, they finally part. Chapter 1
Part 1 It hasn't been three years and the eldest daughter of Ruoshui Shenjun already gave birth to another son for Donghai Shuijun. Both the Ruoshui and Donghai families are extremely elated. The happy Donghai Shuijun sends out invitations throughout the entire land for a feast. Even my parents all the way out in Fox Cave has received one. My parents have gone on a cloud stroll for many hundred years. 3 rd brother has been married and is now living in a different land. 4th brother has gone to the West mountains to seek his lost riding bird called Bifang. I'm the only one at home here at the Fox Cave. I hold the invitation in my hand and am lost in thought for a while. I recall that when my mother had difficulty giving birth to me, they might have asked for Donghai Shuijun's great grandmother's assitance as a delivery nurse. So I end up taking a night shining pearl and prepare myself for a trip to the East Sea.
I myself am not very good with directions so before leaving, I come over to the Lost Valley*** next door and asked Old Migu for a small branch. (***I think Migu means Maze/Dream Valley) The Migu tree has natural pitch black wood. On its body are several five-color blossoms. But beside shining in the dark, these flowers are absolutely useless otherwise. On the other hand, I love these branches of the Migu tree. With them, you'll never be lost.
Old Migu was actually a tree which has grown since the beginning of time on Mount Zhaoyao in the south land. When my mother was pregnant with 4th brother and left home in a fight with my father, she got lost and came to Mount Zhaoyao. When my father finally found her, he was afraid she'd be lost the next time so he brought the only tree from Mount Zhaoyao home to Qingqiu, planting it right in front of the house. Qingqiu is an immortal land. The tree takes in good energy from the sun and moon along with the four seasons and was able to turn into human form after three thousand years. After another three thousand years, it has become a land fairy. My father gifted him some bamboo sticks and he used those sticks along with straws to make a three-section house next to the Fox Cave, thus becoming our neighbor. Since he's a fairy in Qingqiu Kingdom, like other smaller fairies he also calls my father “Lord.” Old Migu isn't that old if I think about it. I was born two thousand years after he became human. A babe with rosy lips and pearly teeth, sharp eyebrows and starry eyes. Half of the female fairies in Qingqiu came to ask my mother to be a matchmaker for him, but none of them was successful. Old Migu seems like a womanizer at first, but he's very well-mannered in reality. Everytime he sees me, he would bow and respectfully call me “M'lady,” much to my satisfaction. This time when Old Migu gives me the branch, he seems somewhat upset, as if he doesn't really want to. I don't bother giving much thought into it. Soon after I call for a clump of cloud and fly straight toward the East Sea. East of the East Sea is Shi Li Tao Hua (10 Miles of Peach Blossoms) 3rd Brother heard that I was going to Donghai for the feast so he asked me to stop by Zheyan's residence and ask for him two bottles of peach wine. Zheyan is the owner of Shi Li Tao Hua. He's an ancient phoenix but the old man himself doesn't know how old he is. My mother said Zheyan is the only phoenix left that's as old as time. He was raised personally by the first immortal, so his rank is even higher than Tianjun currently. When I was born, there was no longer a trace of the first immortal's legend.
When my parents took me to see Zheyan, he brushed down his beard and said to my father, “Is this the young lady your wife has just given birth for you? Too little, too little.” The ancient relationship between Zheyan and Qingqiu Kingdom is mainly due to my mother. According to legends, Zheyan has once asked for my mother's hand in marriage some hundred of million of years ago. Wedding gifts had also been delivered to the door. But my mother only loved the other hard-headed guy which is my father, so she stubbornly turned the offer down. Zheyan and my father ended up engaging in a great battle. They somehow became good friends after they were done fighting. The next year my father brought an eight-carriers palanquin to bring my mother to Qingqiu. Zheyan was invited as the officiator. According to our ties, my brothers and I all have to call Zheyan “Uncle.” But even now that old and embarrassing man still insists he is very young. If anyone calls him “Elder” infront of his face, he will blacklist that person forever. So all of us are afraid and call him by his name like our parents do. Zheyan is a great wine-maker but he himself dislikes loud feasts and parties. “The mysterious immortal who left the three realms without caring about the mortal world. Nature is elegant, his taste is even more refined compared to nature” is the way he describes himself. Whenever other fairies ask him out for drinks, he only smiles evasively. Everyone is always happy to see him, this seemingly honorable deity. They think this leisure immortal can only be respected, not to be friended. So those who wanted to get close all dropped the idea eventually. Zheyan likes to have quiet peace, so from then on he stays in his peach orchards and busy himself with planting trees. When I arrive to the East Sea, I estimate that I still have one and a half day until the feast starts. Remembering my 3rd brother's request, I go around to Zheyan's residence and ask for a jug of peach wine. I'll divide them into 2 bottles for 3 rd brother, 1 bottle to gift Donghai Shuijun along with the night shining pearl, and the rest I will bury infront of Fox Cave to save for later. I come right when the peach blossoms are blooming. There are blossoms for all ten miles. The entire area is covered in a vibrant rosy color.
I follow along the familiar path deep into the peach orchard. As I shift my eyes, I see Zheyan eating a peach on a clear patch of land. Another shift of my eyes and the peach is gone, leaving on the pit. Zheyan laughs and waves me over, “Aren't you the little brat from the Bai family? You're getting prettier by the day. Come over here.” He pats on the spot next to him and says, “Come sit here and let me take a better look at you.” I quickly think about all the fairies there are in this world and there's not one that is highranked enough to call me a little brat. That term makes me feel young so I become quite happy. I cooperatively sit down and Zheyan pulls my sleeve to wipe his hands. I'm in the middle of thinking how to ask for his wine when Zheyan laughs and says, “You've been in Qingqiu for many thousand years already. It's good that you are taking this trip now.” I become surprised, and can't figure out what he means, so I smile and reply, “The peach blossoms here are also very pretty.” He laughs even more heartily, “Beihai Shuijun brought his wife here some days ago to view the peach blossoms. It was the first time I saw his little bride and I can say she's quite lovely.” Part 2 I can't get myself to laugh this time. Beihai Shuijun's little bride is called Shaoxin. I named her myself. I don't know how long it's been. I was taking a trip with 4th brother out to the Dongtinghu and we discovered a small dying cobra within the tall grasses. I pitied it so I asked 4 th brother to bring it back to Qingqiu. That small cobra has turned into an immortal so although she was laying with her face down, she could still turn into her human form. That was Shaoxin. Shaoxin stayed at Qingqiu to heal her body for two years. After she recovered, she asked to stay to repay my help. At that time my parents were rarely at home. Fox Cave was left under 4 th brother's care so he let her become a cleaning maid. There wasn't a maid before and all cleaning duties were mine. I was happy with my new-found free time and didn't bother coming home. I househopped between Big brother's, 2nd brother's, 3rd brother's, and Zheyan's homes.
Everything went by peacefully like that for 200 years when one day my parents came back to Qingqiu and told me about my engagement. My betrothed was Beihai Shuijun Zang Pi. At that time Zang Pi was Tianjun's most beloved 2 nd son. He was still staying on Jiuchongtian, not yet banished to the North Sea. Tianjun announced our engagement to all four seas and eight lands. There was not one person who didn't know about it. Friends and acquaintances congratulated me everytime they come by. 4 th brother and I found it so bothersome, we packed up and fled to Zheyan's peach orchards. This hiding trip ended up causing trouble. When we got full from eating peaches and came back to Qingqiu, Shaoxin was no longer there. There was only an retracting letter from Zang Pi simply stating he and Shaoxin developed feelings and he can't marry anyone else, that he was truly sorry, etc. etc. I've never thought it was that big of a deal. Firstly, I've never met Zang Pi let alone having feelings for him. Secondly, Shaoxin hadn't stayed that long with me. Although there was some connection, it wasn't that deep. Thirdly, even animals have the rights to choose their mates. All lives are created equal so we shouldn't take that right away from Zang Pi either. But it ended up into a big fuss infront of Tianjun. And it wasn't even I who made the fuss. To be precise, it was Zang Pi himself who took Shaoxin and knelt infront of Tianjun and his officials to ask for a title for Shaoxin. This story spreaded all over the eight lands in half a day. Everyone said, “The Bai family's daughter in Qingqiu is truly pitiful. What was once a good match is now an abandonment after less than three years of engagement. How will she marry after this?” There were also some who said, “I don't know how pretty the little cobra is, but how can she compare to the heavenly beautiful 9-Tail White Fox?” That was when my parents, brothers, and Zheyan found out I've been jilted. Zheyan immediately followed my parents straight to Jiuchongtian and asked for justice from Tianjun.
I'm not sure myself the details of what went on. I only know Zang Pi lost Tianjun's favor and was quickly made into Beihai Shuijun, which was synonamous of being banished to the North Sea. His marriage to Shaoxin was also not acknowledged. My father has only ever said one thing about this, “Damn jerk, that's already very convenient for him.” Zheyan was even more thick-faced. He was angry but he also wanted to see more fun. “Why waste his future because of a woman?” I was young at the time and I didn't understand much. I only felt the two main stars Zang Pi and Shaoxin didn't have anything to do with me and I didn't want to give myself unnecessary sorrow. Afterward Tianjun sent down a decree during court. It basically stated even though a Crown Prince hasn’t been decided yet, but Bai Tian of the Bai family from Qingqiu is fated to be the daughter-in-law of the Heaven lineage. Her future is most definitely a queen. No matter how it's said, whoever becomes the next Tianjun will have to marry Bai Tian of the Bai family in Qingqiu. This was deemed as a royal favor, even if it was a teeny bit too big. Tianjun’s sons wanted to avoid leaving the impression that they are fighting over my affections (and thus the throne) so they never looked at me. Of course I never thought of knowing them either. Everyone else was afraid of offending both of our families so from then on I completely didn’t socialize with anyone. Three hundred years ago Tianjun crowned Yehua Crown Prince – next in line for the throne. I have to say I didn’t know anything about this Yehua person. After Zang Pi was banished, Tianjun was unhappy with the rest of his ordinary sons. Fortunately three years later, his eldest son Yangqian (or Yangchai?) gave him a bright grandson. It was then that Tianjun became pleased again. This grandson is named Yehua. According to Tianjun’s decree in the past, Lord Yehua and I will definitely have to marry each other. It was said that Yehua’s household already has a mistress named Sujin who is highly favored and has given him a son. So then course he wouldn’t have the heart to remind anyone about this marriage of ours. As for me, even though I wasn’t attached to anyone, I was almost 100 thousand years older than he was. Just from generation ranking, he would have to call me Gugu (auntie/lady). From age difference, he’d have to call him an ancestor. So obviously I had no interest in pushing this match forward either. Our stalemate has carelessly become a joke to all four seas and eight lands.
Beihai Shuijun (Water Lord of the North Sea) is the leading culprit who caused all of this. I am starting to not only feel tired but very tired, and so I am quite annoyed at this troublemaker. I don't think Zheyan mentioned Beihai this time to peeve me but rather to plan something, so I become interested and listen carefully. His smile becomes even more satisfied, “It’s only been a few thousand years and already she’s given him three children. This current one in her womb is supposed to be the fourth. One can tell she’s got bearing hips. His little wifey craves for only peaches but they’re not in season yet. Except from my place, nowhere else in Heaven and Earth has them. Beihai at last came here. He almost had to beg so I couldn’t turn him away.” I keep my opinion to myself and play with the seam of my dress. I’m also bothered by this fair gesture of his. He gives out a laugh, “Look at your face. It’s completely white. Weren’t they Childless Peaches?” I look up quickly and in the process hit straight into his forehead. He ignores it and teases me, “Look, look. You soften right away when I said I gave the lovebirds some Childless Peaches. To tell the truth, these peaches are only going to keep them childless for several thousand years. They won’t harm their good fortunes, nor will they harm my karma.” Honestly whether or not Beihai has a fifth child has nothing to do with me. The Childless Peaches also won’t kill anyone. If he didn’t retract our promise that year, there wouldn’t be so many headaches today. I’m actually in agreement with Zheyan’s lesson for him this time. But if Zheyan thinks I’m soft-hearted, I won’t say anything in defense. He then comforts me by saying the entire Heaven lineage are full of bastards; generation after generation all their descendents are a bunch of cowards. After cursing Tianjun, we banter some more. We haven’t seen each other in so long and I think he’s bored out of his mind. He tells me every tiny inconsequential story. I did remember about the peach wine at first, but after one or two sentences of nonsense, I end up forgetting everything. When the sky darkens, Zheyan finally mentions to me, “Xiao San (Little 3 rd) asked me for two bottles of wine. I buried them by the pear tree next to the Biyao pond behind the mountain. Dig them up tonight when you go over there to sleep. You can only take two. Don’t spill any and don’t steal any.”
I purse my lip, “How cheap.” He turns and softly smoothes over my hair, “You really can’t drink that wine. If you want some, come to my wine cellar in the morning. I’ll give you however much you can take.” I bow in thanks. But in my mind, I plan to drink from those bottles and take his entire cellar home as well. Chapter 2
Part 1 4th brother was the one to build this straw hut by the Biyao pond. Everytime I run away to Zheyan’s, this is where I would stay at. When we last parted the orchard, this hut was already so very dilapidated. But I’m rather impressed that it’s still standing around after all the rain and shine of ten thousand years. I take out a light pearl and shine around. Thoughtful Zheyan has arranged everything I need. I’m indeed extremely satisfied. Next to the hut is a shovel. It’s the same shovel I used to plant the peach tree. Now I can use it to dig up those wine jars. How useful. Tonight’s moon is almost round… the pear tree Zheyan mentioned is very easy to find. I stomp the shovel into the ground and use my energy to pull the tree up. Just with one glance I can see shiny jade jars buried under the earth. I happily shake them lightly and took off with them to the roof. The hut trembles a little but it stays standing. The wind is cold on the rooftop. My whole body shivers while I take off the wine jar’s cover. In just a fraction of time, the fragrance has reached all over the orchard. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. The more I sniff, the more I am awed by Zheyan’s wonderful wine brewing techniques. In just a short time I've been able to down half a bottle. The soft breeze adds to me a sleepy feeling.
I'm not into many enjoyments normally. Wine drinking is among the few I like. When drinking wine, you need to do it at the right time, right place, with the right person. Tonight the moon is bright over the water, so Heaven is in agreement. Peach blossoms go on for ten miles along the East Sea coast; that can be counted as an agreeable location. Beside myself on the roof, there are also some black magpies, we'll grudgingly call them good company. I gulp down some of the wine. This peach wine seems different from all the other wine I've drank before. But if I think about it, I haven't had any of Zheyan's
wine in a while so perhaps my memory of it is hazy. One gulp then another. Even though there's no accompanying snacks, I'm satisfied with the picturesque scenery. The dark night before my eyes seems to have been covered by a thin veil of pink. A flame envelops my entire body and my blood seems to have entirely boiled away. My head spins as I clutch my shirt. I sweat all over as if I was on a fever. It fee;s like there are numerous insects crawling inside me. My mind becomes drowsy but this sensation is nothing like an ordinary drunk feeling. The heat suddenly rises uncontrollably and I have no way of blocking it. Nothing seems capable of that right now. I drunkenly stand up, wanting to jump into Biyao pond to cool down a little. But I lost my balance and feel straight from the roof down to the ground. The strangest thing is that it doesn't hurt when I fall onto the ground. I only know I've touched something cold and it has relieved me from much of the heat. I use all my strength to open my eyes. Before my eyes is a hazy shadow of someone in an all-black attire. It’s not Zheyan. The sky seems to turn. The silver moonlight spreads across all ten miles of the peach orchard showing endless vibrant flowers. The water from the nearby Biyao pond is also mesmerizingly shiny. Then everything turns into a burning fire. I close my eyes and feel the painful heat throughout my body. I try to inch toward the cooler air coming from the blurry person ahead. When I lift my head slightly, my cheek touches his neck skin and it felt ice-cold. My fingers are no longer mine to control. They tremble as they touch his side. He immediately pushes me away. I calm him down, “Don’t be afraid. I’m only looking for a cool spot.” But his protest only becomes stronger. In more than 100 thousand years I haven’t used hypnosis on anyone. But I can’t resist tonight. In a daze, I concentrate on my spell as I look into his eyes. There is a trace of worry because it’s been a very long time since I’ve used this art. I don’t know how effective it is now. He seems suspicious but his dark eyes are giving in as he slowly embraces me. The rooster's crow dissipates the silence. I slowly wake up and feel like I've gone through a thoroughly interesting dream. In my dream, I was quite a amorous girl, taking advantage of a young mild lad. I try to remember the way he looks but I can only remember a black figure among ten miles of colorful blossoms. Zheyan's peach orchard isn't far from the East Sea. Since I wasn't in a hurry, I went to the cellar behind the mountain to dig up three more bottles. I keep them with my half-full bottle inside my sleeve and come to say goodbye to Zheyan. He reminds me to ask 4th brother to come help him plow the land in front of the mountain.
Today is truly an auspicious day. I look afar for a spot to descend. Fairy energy floats in all direction on top of the East Sea. Auspicious clouds form over the sky; it seems fairies from vast lands have all arrived. I take from my sleeve a white silk ribbon. I cover my eyes and prepare to descend underwater. Part 2 Everything about Donghai is great, except for the too bright Water Palace. My eyes haven’t been able to stand brightness since three hundred years ago. My mother said it’s an illness from birth. I tested the water by poking my foot at the nearest shallow water. Donghai’s water is cold. I slightly shiver and use my fairy power to form a protective boundary for my body. Then I hear several voices from behind me calling, “Sister, sister.” My parents only have us five siblings. There wasn’t another small fox that I am aware of. Turning around, I see in front of me a crowd of young ladies in elegant clothes. I can guess they’re family members of some fairy or other, also here for the feast. The purple-robed girl in front is full of annoyance, “Our princess was calling out to you. Why didn’t you reply?” I become confused for a moment. Then I look and see a white-robed girl with gems on her hair and pearls on her shoes. I turn to her and ask, “What did you want to ask me, young lady?” The white-robed girl’s jade cheeks turn a shade of pink, “Since you have fairy qi around you, I guess that you are among the fairies who came here for the feast. I wanted to ask for direction not knowing that your eyes are…” The silk ribbon on my eyes doesn’t actually affect my seeing ability. I also have Migu’s branch so giving directions isn’t a problem. I nod my head and say, “It’s true that I’m here for the feast. My eyes are fine, you can follow me.” It’s awfully boring walking underwater. Luckily Princess Luxiu and her maids are talking nonstop. They actually speak with whispering voices, but my foxy ears help me listen in on some pretty interesting things. One says, “Clearly the eldest princess left us behind because she didn’t want us to join the party. She was showing off her ability to win but she couldn’t imagine we could find our own way. We’ll have to tell the Water God so he will punish her to several hundred years of self-reflection in the South Sea. Let’s see if she will be able to look down on others anymore.”
So they’re family members of Nanhai Shuijun (Water God of the South Sea). Another says, “Even though the eldest princess is very pretty, our princess is generous and kind. You only have to show up at the party and the eldest princess won’t be able to shine.” So it’s a sisterly feud. Yet another says, “The marriage is definite. But Lord Yehua of course won’t be happy with the grandma from Qingqiu. You’re a rare beauty in Heaven and Earth. If you and Lord Yehua can fall in love at this feast, won’t that be a celebration of all time? It takes me a while to realize “Grandma from Qingqiu” was meant for me. It momentarily makes me feel old and I’m not sure whether I want to cry or laugh. Princess Luxiu quickly scolds, “Don’t speak nonsense.” Everyone immediately quiets. About half an hour later we arrive at the Water Palace 3000 meters deep in the seabed of the East Sea. I get doubtful and wonder if I’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere. This large palace doesn’t look anything like the radient Water Palace in my memory from the past. Princess Luxiu also widens her eyes in surprise. She points to the green wall ahead and asks me, “Aren’t those seaweeds???” I was born and raised on land so of course my knowledge of sea-life is poor. My answer was a noncommittal “Something like that.” This really proves how trustworthy Elder Migu’s branch is. This dark palace in front of us is indeed the Water Palace of Donghai Shuijun. The two maids standing at the palace gate push away the curtains and lead us in when they see Princess Luxiu. I can’t help but lament. How come this Donghai Shuijun who was of my own generation decorates his palace so strangely. The hallways should’ve been bright, but they’re even darker than my parents’ Fox Cave. Luckily there are soft lighting pearls on the wall which help me from tripping over. Fairies from all land crowd together an hour before the party will start. The year my father celebrated his birthday, everyone did come, but not an entire hour early like this. This is only a month-old celebration for Donghai Shuijun’s infant son and yet everyone shows up on time. How unpredictable is this world. The younger generations of immortals sure are influential.
Two maids lead Princess Luxiu to Donghai Shuijun. This Donghai Shuijun of my generation, his face does resemble his ancestors. I purposely hide in the back, blend in with some other fairies, and am about to ask a servant to take me to a resting room. It’s been half a day and I’m kind of tired. But the entire palace is currently busy being enchanted by Princess Luxiu. Objectively Luxiu’s looks are only ordinary if placed in the past. She can’t compare to any of my sister-in-laws. But placing her in today’s standard, I guess she could be called a rare beauty compared to her generation of fairies. I don’t have the heart to break these people’s trance so I quietly go outside, wanting to find a resting place. When it’s time for the party to start, I would come to present the gift, eat a little, and take an early leave. I float from here to there but still I can’t find a place I like. It’s so tiring. When I want to return to the main hall, I suddenly realize I don’t know where to go. I touch my sleeve and find that my Migu branch is gone. Great, with my sense of direction, I’d have to thank God I can return by the time the feast ends, let alone by the time the feast starts. There’s no other way. I just have to walk where there’s a path. And that’s how I get lost into Donghai Shuijun’s backyard. I can’t deny that this garden perfectly complements his palace. Green plants and grass cover the entire place. Everything is arranged wonderfully like a dreamy maze. From the moment I stepped into the garden until a long while later, I still can’t find my way out. This magic is a good idea to prevent local fairies from leaving. But it’s also not good. I become awfully down thinking about it. Then as my desperation heightens, a bright idea suddenly comes on. I find a stick and close my eyes as I throw it into the air. The stick falls and points to the left. I clap my hands and happily walk toward the right. Reality has shown my stick-pointing method to be a wise idea. Hours ago when I went around this garden, I saw no one. Not even the water mosquitoes. It’s only been about 100 steps this time and I’ve already met a little dough. The dough is round and chubby, with two tiny horns on his head. He wears a dark green robe as he stares intently at a green coral. If I hadn’t paid attention I would’ve mistaken him for a coral as well. A quick look tells me he’s the son of some fairy or other.
He is flaking away some seaweeds on the coral branches as I come to him and ask, “Little dough, what are you doing?” He replies without lifting his head up, “Lifting away the grass. My father lord says underneath the wild grass is a beautiful coral of the East Sea. I’ve never seen one so I’m trying to look.” Father lord? Oh, so he’s a little prince from the Heaven lineage. He’s having a difficult time taking the seaweed away so I can’t help but to offer. I take a fan from my sleeve and give it to him, “Use this fan and wave it gently. When all the grass is flown off, the coral will be even more beautiful.” He holds the grass in one hand and my fan in the other. He waves it once carelessly and causes a great wind to start. The entire Water Palace shakes as the waves rise. It was just a small move but the dark Water Palace now changes into a bright luminous place. I am startled myself. The Po'yun fan (Break through the Clouds fan) is powerful indeed but it depends on the user’s level of fairy qi as well. I didn’t think the little dough could be that good. He only fanned it lightly but the entire Water Palace’s decoration has changed. Maybe this isn’t so ethical after-all. The little dough falls back to the ground and is in shock. He looks at me pleadingly and cries out, “Have I caused trouble?” I turn to face him and nod my head with difficulty, “You weren't the only one at fault. I gave you the fan.” The little dough widens his eyes at my sight. I think and deduce that it must be the scary white ribbon over my eyes. I guessed wrongly on that first part, and of course can’t see what’s coming next. The little dough suddenly hugs my leg tightly, wipes his head back and forth, and calls loudly, “Mom.” I’m now feeling dizzy. He doesn’t even care about my condition and keeps holding onto my leg while crying so pitifully, “Mom, aren’t you my real mom? How can you leave father and A Li?” His tears and snots get all over my dress as he speaks.
Of course I become startled and race through my memories to see whether I’ve abandoned his father and him anywhere in the past however-many-thousand years. All of a sudden behind me comes a low voice, “Su…su.” The little dough quickly raises his head and weakly says Father Lord while his hands are still holding tightly onto my leg. I can’t move an inch because he holds onto me too tightly. I also don’t know what his background is, so I can’t exactly push him away. I can only stand still now. His father quickens his steps and stands before me. He comes so close. With my eyes originally on the floor, I now see a pair of black shoes and an embroidered black robe. He sighs and says, “Susu.” I’m surprised hearing the two words Susu. Apparently he’s calling me. 4th brother says I’m forgetful. But I can only remember within the past 100 thousand years, I’ve been called Xiaowu, A Yin, 17th, and of course Lady. But no one has called me Susu. Taking advantage of the tiny moment when little dough wipes his eyes, I take a few steps back and raise my head to smile, “I’m sure you’re mistaken, sir.” Just as I am done with my words, I become affected even before he can react to them. "Green grass across the field. Deep slumber not knowing daytime." The little dough’s father looks exactly like my teacher, Moyuan. I can’t believe it. I was about to mistake him for Moyuan. The Demon race wrecked havoc seventy thousand years ago. They raised tides and caused fires everywhere. Moyuan was able to seal away the Demon King Jingshang at Donghuangchong, Ruoshui. But his energy was also drained to the point where his soul left forever. I risked my life to save his body and took it back to Qingqiu. I placed him in Yanhua Cave and use a bowl of blood each month from my heart to keep him alive. Moyuan is the oldest son of the first deity. Legends call him the God of War. I couldn’t believe there would be a day when he could die, and I still can’t believe it. So I quietly waited, giving him a bowl of blood each month so that one day he might be able to smile and call me Xiao Shiqi (Little 17th) again. I’m saddened when these thoughts come back to me.
But I’m not in a situation to be sad right now. Like wise-men have said: when there are disasters, there will be even larger catastrophes. I still haven’t recovered when the little dough’s father takes away my white ribbon. I close my eyes as a natural reflex. He raises his hand to caress my eyes. The little dough who is standing next to me calls out “indecent, indecent.” Throughout the years I’ve always been very calm. Even when Fangjiu burned down all the medicinal grass while cooking in front of our cave, I didn’t care too much. But right now green veins are popping on my face. “How imprudent.” It’s been many years since I’ve used these words. It seems a bit refreshing to reuse them now. The little dough holds tightly onto my skirt and says, “Mom, are you angry?” A long while later his father is still in silence. Some moments more he pulls the silk ribbon back to cover my eyes and says, “You’re right; I got the wrong person. She didn’t have a strong appearance yet weak soul like you. She didn’t have your incredible beauty either. I have been disrespectful, please accept my apology.” At this close distance, now I am able to see more clearly. At the hem of his sleeves and black robe are all dragon embroideries. Although I haven’t left Qingqiu for thousands of years, I can still remember some of the regulations of the fairies. Except for people of the Tianjun family, no one from Heaven to Earth, even if they’re supremely bored, can embroider dragon designs onto their clothes. When I turn to look, he already has the little dough back at his side. I’m guessing this black-robed man should be Lord Yehua, Tianjun’s most beloved grandson. How sorry I feel. Still so handsome and young, yet he will have to marry the old grandma that is me. One can’t help but lament. Fate is too cruel, too cruel. When I think of this match, I still feel so guilty toward him. So even though he has disrespected me in this situation, I still feel like it was I who wronged him. I awkwardly smile, “You’re just being kind.” He gazes at me with a deep cold look. I step aside and let them through. The little dough still wipes his nose and calls me Mom. I’ll be his stepmother sooner or later anyway so I smile without being upset. Yehua holds the little dough’s hand and quickly disappears as the path turns a corner.
At this moment I suddenly remember that without them, there will be no one to lead me out of here. I quickly run after the two, but even their shadows have been long gone. Chapter 3
Part 1 I circle 'round and 'round at corner where Yehua and his son disappeared. After a long while, I see an elegantly dressed woman pacing quickly toward me from the north. That woman's gait is so very light even though she is walking quickly with a pregnant stomach. I take the Po'yun fan out and wonder fleetingly if I can send her from Donghai straight back to Beihai with a wave of my fan on each side. But I put away my fan the moment I see her stomach. She kneels down when she stands before me.. I pause a little. She lifts her head to look at me. Tears fill her eyes. She still looks about the same, but her face is much prettier now compared to fifty thousand years ago. It may be that she is pregnant, so she's gained some weight. I weigh the options whether people nowadays consider stick-bony as pretty or voluptuous as pretty. But after a while I still can't tell. So I keep a mental note not to bring up topics about appearances to keep myself from putting a foot in my mouth.
I haven't seen her in so long. Even though I'm still cross, I'm after all an elder and should keep my dignity as long as she stays respectful. Her eyes are still brimmed with twinkling tears. Looking at me, she wipes her tears and calls miserably, “Gugu” (Mistress/Lady) I can't help myself anymore so I blurt out, “Shaoxin, you've gained weigh.” (bwahahaha) She's a little stupefied. Her cheeks color as she softly caresses her stomach. She stumbles for words, “I, I...” Then she realizes what I said was only socializing words and that I hadn't really wanted to ask why she's rounder. She quickly kneels and says, “Because the water from this garden was whirling just a moment ago, I, I thought it was the Po'yun fan. I thought it'd be you so I instantly came to see. Just as I guessed...” she then cries again.
I don't know what she's crying about, but I don't hate it. In the past I'd given her the Po'yun fan to play around with. Her injury had just healed and I worried for her safety. I gave this fan to her and said, “If anyone bullies you, fan him with this fan and he'd fly out of Qingqiu.” Even though she'd never used it then, she still treated this fan as a precious treasure, keeping it with her at all time. Only when she left Fox Cave did she leave it behind. Honestly speaking, the cobra race isn't usually pretty when they turn into human form. Shaoxin is an exception. Ever since she was bullied, she was scared for life even after completely recovering in Qingqiu. Back then, no one except 4 th brother and I could come near her within a two meter radius. Even the popular Migu who treated her very well was shunned. Then one day, perhaps being her first love, she embroidered a fragrance pouch and gave it to my 4th brother. It carried inside countless affections. Yet my blockhead brother took the pouch and gave it to Zheyan. When he came back he even ran to Shaoxin and told her Zheyan loved the shape of that pouch, only he didn't like the colors too much. He asked if she could make another one that's more colorful. Shaoxin's eyes were red. From then on Shaoxin became even more guarded, to the point of being easily frightened. Afterward she and Zangpi ran away; Zangpi then broke our engagement. Even now I still can't understand how the introvert Shaoxin got close to Zangpi and ended up running away with him. 4th brother told me it was simple. Zangpi saw the pretty and young Shaoxin so he knocked her unconscious with a club as a result of his momentary lust. Then he threw her into a bag and kidnapped the girl home. 4th brother and Zheyan then wrote a novel titled “Ancient Tale of Love.” The book basically reads that their love began after the kidnapping. I sit down on a stone seat nearby and say to her, “I didn't think I would meet an old acquaintance the moment I step out of Qingqiu. Shaoxin, you should know I really don't want to see you. You're seeking me out because you need something from me, am I right? I didn't give you a wedding gift when you got married so I'll give you one now. I'll grant you one wish. Tell me, what is it that you want?” She confusedly looks at me, “I can guess that you're angry, but why don't you want to see me?” She takes two steps toward me and says, “Milady, you hadn't ever met Zangpi. You also said you wouldn't like him. Your marriage wouldn't bring happiness. But Zangpi loves me and I also love him. Although you lost Zangpi, you gain someone else much better.
Lord Yehua is hundreds of times better than Zangpi. He's even the future Heaven King. But me, if I were to lose Zangpi, I would've lost everything. I thought you were wise and generous so you wouldn't be upset at my abrupt departure. Milady, didn't you also want me to live well?” This little cobra has gained quite a tongue over the past few thousand years. I ask her, “Shaoxin, were you angry at the people who bullied you? Some of them didn't want to hurt you either. But they followed the real bullies because they themselves didn't want any trouble. Can you forgive them, still?” She clamps her teeth and shakes her head. “Then similarly it's perfectly reasonable if I don't want to see you. Although I'm an immortal, feelings have nothing to do with knowledge. So you see, I'm not as generous as you have said.” I'm just about to leave the garden when the little dough hops out from nowhere and grabs my skirt. His fair round face has a disapproving look, “Why did you say you're not a wise fairy? You're the wisest in this world, mom.” I give it some thought and at last ask him, “Are you an earth deity***?” (***one who guards certain local land and pops from the ground when you call for him to show you direction - they're everywhere in Journey to the West :D) Yehua appears from behind the coral and approach them. His expression seems different from before; there's a faint smile playing on his lips. He unhurriedly says, “Miss, I can't believe you're the immortal Bai Tian from Qingqiu.” Part 2 I almost faint with goosebumps hearing him address me as “miss”. Did he just wake up? I quickly deny, “I'm 90,000 years older than you, Lord Yehua. Let's go with generational traditions and call me Gugu (lady/auntie).” He grins and replies, “A Li calls you Mom while I call you Auntie. Would that make any sense, Tiantian~?” I want to faint on the spot hearing him call me Tiantian. Shaoxin stays quiet as she watches us.
This scene suddenly makes me embarrassed. This feeling of embarrassment hasn't visited me in over ten thousand years. Yet I have to experience it now without being able to do anything. It makes my old-fashion self a bit moved. I sigh and change topic, “You want to reason with me? Then how is it sensible for you two to eavesdrop on our conversation behind that coral?” The adult hasn't replied but the little dough already hugs my knee tightly. He anxiously points to the coral behind the small path and explains, “We didn't mean to listen. Father said you were chasing after us so we came back to find you. We saw you talking to this lady when we got near so we hid ourselves to wait.” He stares at me closely, “You chased after us because you still love me and want to come back with us to Heaven right?” His conclusion is so far from reality I wanted to shake my head. But his father starts to nod his enthusiastically, “That's right. Your mom loves you very much.” The little dough cheers and happily looks at me. His eyes shine bright. “Mom, when are we returning to Heaven?” Yehua answers without thinking, “Tomorrow.” The little dough cheers again and continues to look at me with extreme joy. His eyes are becoming brighter and brighter. “Mom are you excited to be home after so long?” Yehua doesn't answer this time. I hear myself forcing a laugh as I say, “Very excited.” I never had a change to explain anything. I was chasing after them so they could take me out of this damn garden. Now I'm stuck in this mess. Shaoxin is still kneeling quietly on the floor ever since Yehua appeared. Coincidentally when I see her gazing at Yehua, I become somewhat infuriated. If Zangpi didn't revoke our engagement, Yehua wouldn't even be the Crown Prince right now. According to the wheel of retribution, Zangpi deserves what he sowed. But what he reaped was merely a flower. He should've gotten a big karma fruit in my opinion. It's the unfairness that I'm vexed by. My generosity isn't that bad. When I'm about to leave, I drop the Po'yun fan into Shaoxin's hands again and tell her, “I'll give you one wish. Go back and think carefully what you want to ask of me. When you've thought it over, come find me in Qingqiu. With this fan Migu won't stop you.” The little dough lingers his eyes on the fan as if to say, “I want it too.”
I stroke his head, “Little kid, don't fancy that dangerous weapon.” I take from my sleeve a piece of candy and drops it into his mouth. When we reach the exit of the garden, I determine I wouldn't be a good idea to show up together with Yehua. So I bring my hand up to say goodbye but the little dough instantly expresses displeasure. I do feel bad so I unwillingly reassure him, “I have some business to attend to now but I'll definitely come to you guys tomorrow.” The little dough pouts but he seems to understand so he goes over to pinky promise with me. Yehua laughs next to me and says, “Isn't it because you're afraid of coming in together and running into gossip-mongers?” I feel caught so I laugh to cover myself, “Lord Yehua, you're exaggerating.” His smile is incomprehensible. His appearance right now is somewhat similar to the way Moyuan looked in the past. I was dazed by his smile for a while before he pulls on my hand and says, “Tiantian, we both know we've been long betrothed. Why do we even need to be so cautious?” His beautiful fingers are long and slender, shaking my hand carelessly. His genteel expression, his honorable gestures. His looks right now compared to his looks when he took off my silk ribbon is completely different. I've tasted all the flavors in life to know a promise between two people doesn't mean much. On top of that my situation is a bit special. I may seem undiscriminating, but how can I accept the fact that he was born when I was already 90 thousand years old. Marrying him would be committing a big crime. But if I pull my hand away right now, it would show that I'm not very considerate. After thinking for a while, I bring my right hand up to stroke his hair and appear to care for him deeply while lamenting, “When your 2nd uncle and I were engaged, you weren't even born yet. But look at how big you've grown. Times sure flies; it really doesn't leave anyone outside of its grasp.” While he is still flabbergasted, I take the chance to pull my hand back and walk away. Life is always full of surprises. I haven't gone for three steps when a red-faced Donghai Shuijan charges down from above like a glowing red column. He descends straight at me and yells out, “Stop!” His “stop” doesn't make any sense. The only path there is has been blocked by him. Even if I turn into a mosquito I wouldn't be able to pass let alone staying in my human form. I back away two steps and give him a heartfelt compliment, “M'lord, what superior skills you posses. Had I gone one step further I would've been squashed by you.”
His rectangular face resembles a coral branch at first glance. He greets Yehua and the little dough then turns to look at me. With his aged face and trembling eyes, he asks, “What have I done to offend you? Why did take your anger out on my garden, especially during our celebration?” I become thoroughly embarrassed. I've been found out after all. Yehua stands nearby and looks on with aloof eyes as he softly strokes the little dough's long hair. I'm at most an accomplice but I can't hand the little dough over since he calls me stepmom. So I suppress my grievance and apologize. But I become curious as to how he knows I was the one to destroy his garden. My curiosity gets the better of me so I end up asking him. Donghai Shuijun becomes so angry his hair sticks up. He points his finger at me stammering for a while before resuming calm. “You, you, you, you still want to deny it? The coral fairy in my home saw with his own eyes that the wind was caused by a small fairy in green. Who can it be if not you?” I look down on my green outfit and turn to look at the green outfit on the little dough who's holding Yehua's hand. Donghai shuijun might have misunderstood the words “small fairy” from one meaning to the other. Small can mean small in size or it can mean low-rank. The little dough is Yehua's son, Tianjun's great grandson. Of course his rank isn't low. On the other hand the way I dress doesn't look like a High Deity at all. Donghai points to a deer and calls it a horse just so he can look for a scapegoat. It's fairly understandable. It was my fault to begin with anyway. I only brought him trouble even though I was invited here as a guest. Donghai shows zero patience. His two eyes are flaming red. I call to mind the way my niece Fangjiu looks when she gets into trouble and copy it exactly the same. I lower my eyes pitifully and say, “Mi lord is right. I normally stay at Shi Li Tao Hua. This is the first time I left home and already I've caused so much trouble. Not only did I destroy your garden, I also brought disgrace to Master Zheyan. Please give me my punishment for I am truly ashamed.” Yehua glances at me with humored gleams in his eyes. If I'm going to embarrass someone, it's better to use Zheyan's name than my own parents'. When we were younger, 4th brother and I would always use Zheyan's name when we went out and caused troubles. Zheyan would only laugh it off no matter how serious it was. But if it had been my father, he'd probably skin our fox hinds off.
Donghai shuijun looks at me confusedly, “The master from Shi Li Tao Hua is...” He holds his breath as he tries to avoid saying Zheyan's name. I bring out a bright red night pearl and the wine bottle I prepared earlier. “I know it's hard for you to believe. My master hasn't been in contact with anyone for many thousand years. This time Lady Bai Tian from Qingqiu came to visit the peach orchard and unfortunately fell ill. But since she already accepted your invitation, she asked me to come in her place instead. These are her gifts. I'm so sorry I caused you so much trouble...” My tears are about to fall when Donghai Shuijun hastily calms me down, “It was my fault to not welcome you even though you've traveled from so far a distance. This is merely a garden. What you did helped make the place brighter. Please come in with me and have some wine.” I naturally finds all kinds of reasons to decline, and he naturally keeps on insisting that I come. Yehua nears us and holds onto my hand while casually saying, “It's only a cup of wine, there's no need to be polite.” I'm sweating behind my back. I point to my right hand that is held tightly by Yehua and say to Donghai Shuijun, “I'm actually a man in woman's clothings.” Donghai widens his eyes and mouth, looks for words then says, “Same-sex love is deep indeed.” (rofl) I thought people would be wary of homosexual relationships. But I didn't think these immortals are so open-minded now. Even if I jump into the Yellow River I still won't be able to wash away my grievance this time. Chapter 4
Part 1 Donghai Shuijun leads the way, the little dough skips in between, and Yehua holds my hand following behind. That small lie of mine was half for his little dough’s sake. He could've just played along but instead he chose to oppose me. He sure knows how to annoy the heck out of someone. I don’t care to bother keeping up with appearances anymore so I use a spell to push him away. He only grins and use his own spells to stop mine right back. We continue our fighting along the way. He is seemingly blaséwhile I always have to beware of Donghai Shuijun’s movements in front of us. Because my attention is split, I end up losing miserably. It’s only recently that 4th brother told me fairies nowadays are far below ones from ancient times. Nobody practices anymore; they all spend their time idling around. It makes one sad to see the arts deteriorate so much. That’s why I never thought Lord Yehua’s aptitude would be so great. The arts deteriorating my butt.
Donghai Shuijun turns around with the same merry face. His eyes are still focused on our locked hands, “Mi lord, Envoy, the main hall is just ahead.” The little dough cries out in excitement and runs to hold my other hand. He then quickly changes into a dignified important little prince of Heaven as he steps in. If I really think about it, I am Yehua’s wife up in that sky palace so I guess such grandiosity isn’t pushing it. Earlier today I asked Zheyan for a seer-reading. He said today won't be a good one since it’s incompatible with my birth date. The gold-gilded and jade-carved palace appears before our eyes. I’m feeling a headache coming. Inside, everyone’s face is full of anticipation for the party to start. As Yehua appears, they all unanimously kneel on the two sides making a path in the middle that leads straight to the head seat. They don’t rise until after the three of us are seated. Then everyone takes his seat and the feast begins. The immortal sitting closest to us comes up and invites us to some wine. After giving some to Yehua, he turns to me and says, “What an honor to even meet Lady Sujin here.” Yehua who sits next to me keeps an entertained look on his face as if he’s watching a play. I’m somewhat embarrassed to have been called that. Donghai Shuijun’s face turns pale. He keeps winking to the other immortal who thinks himself honored. I can’t take it any longer so finally I smile to him and quietly say, “I’m actually Lord Yehua’s long lost sister. I’m currently a helper at Master Zheyan’s place.” Yehua keeps on drinking. His cup now only has one or two drops left. Donghai Shuijun looks at me confusedly. The other guy looks as if he’s just swallowed a dead fly. The cup he holds is still full and he’s now in a stalemate position. He struggles for a while and finally says, “I have such poor sight. I’ll punish myself with a cup of wine. Right, I’ll punish myself with a cup.” I smile-it wasn’t that big of a deal, and drink with him. Dishes are now coming out. Because foxes are sharp with their ears, as soon as I put my wine cup down I can hear whisperings from all around.
Someone says, “It’s a pity we don’t get to see the Lady today. But the Envoy from Master Zheyan’s is giving us many interesting topics too. Why do you think the Lady didn’t show up today? Is it because she knows Lord Yehua and Beihai Shuijun are also coming…” Someone else says, “What he says makes sense. From what I see, something's definitely wrong when Master Zheyan sends an Envoy in place of the Lady. Don’t you all see? The strange Zheyan must’ve been offended that Donghai Shuijun didn’t invite him.” Another says, “That makes sense. Furthermore, Master Zheyan’s envoy is Lord Yehua’s younger sister.” Then someone disagrees, “It’s very questionable whether the envoy is Lord Yehua’s sister. I worked in the Heavenly Palace for years and I’ve never heard anything about a younger sister.” Someone immediately replies, “Didn’t you see Lord Yehua holding the envoy’s hand? I think this whole sibling thing should be somewhat credible.” I had planned to find a quiet spot and enjoy some music once this party started. But now I’m stuck all the way up here listening to these rubbish. I’ve only heard a little and I’m already irritated. I sigh and gulp down another shot. Surprisingly Yehua furrows his brows, “Can you hold your liquor? Don’t drink so much or you’ll get drunk.” I scoff. Donghai Shuijun’s wine is fine and all, but it’s like tasteless water compared to Zheyan’s first-class brew. But I don’t care anymore. I already lost all my face tonight. I can only lament my bad fate, because really, I’ve long dismissed our marriage promise. Halfway through the feast and I don’t feel an ounce of joy. I just want to quickly finish this dinner so I can go home to Fox Cave for a nap. At this time, Donghai Shuijun claps his hands a few times. I force myself to pay attention. Dancers in thin outfits float out with fans on their hands. Now I’m curious. This is only a small one-month celebration for an infant, not a grand birthday party for the Water God himself. What’s with the dancing entertainment? The flute rings by my ears. I reach for the closest wine bottle. In the past I was captured by Demon king Jingshang and was brought to Daziming Palace for a few days. There were both elegant and beautiful girls among his dancers. Nothing now can compare to what I saw back then. I glance over at Yehua and see he’s as bored as I am.
The little dough suddenly sighs and says, “So it’s that same sister.” I follow his gaze inside the room but I can only see a group of white-robed dancers forming into a lotus and a yellow-robed girl in the middle. That one doesn’t seem extraordinary either, although there’s a slight resemblance to Donghai Shuijun. I can’t help but to turn and look at Donghai a few times. He coughs and abashedly says, “She’s my sister.” He then steps over to the little dough and asks, “Your Highness, do you know my sister?” The little dough glances over at me and grins, “Maybe I do.” But then he waves his hands, “No, I don’t,” and sneaks a look at his father. Those longing gazes of Donghai Shuijun’s sister are now locked on the very same Lord Yehua who sits beside me. Her eyes burns with a quiet passion and a rueful happiness. Yehua continues with his wine unconcernedly. In a blink of an eye he’s turned back into the cold lord I first met. The situation is rather similar to the lyrics they are singing. “Flowers fall but the water flows on indifferently. I love him so, but he remains cold. I want to become the vines that entwine around him, but his iron heart remains unyielding. What wrong have I done?” I heartily nod in approval; here’s something fun to watch. I pour myself another cup for my delight has returned. However just as my interest comes back the flute comes to a stop. Donghai’s sister bows in Yehua’s direction and softly floats away with the rest of the dancers. Yehua turns to look at me and smiles, “Envoy, you look quite disappointed.” I touch my face and laugh evasively, “Is that so?” Several hours pass by before the feast finally ends. The immortals are now starting to leave. Yehua pushes the little dough into my arms and says, “Help me watch A Li for a little bit. I’ll be right back.” As I return the immortals’ goodbyes, he has gone in a blink of the eyes. It finally becomes peaceful after being constrained for so long. My promise then comes flashing back in my head. I start to sweat. Did he really want to take me back to the Heavenly Palace because of what I said to the little dough earlier? These thoughts make the soft little dough in my arms turn into a hot potato. I run outside to find the little dough’s father. It’s best to return the kid now.
I ask the servants but none of them know where Lord Yehua is. I then take the winded path and ask about Donghai Shuijun’s sister instead. Yehua’s appearance just now was a bit hasty. It seems there involves a prior promise and close attachments as well. Looking at him, from my 100 thousand years of experience I can tell he’s gone searching for his pretty maiden. The servants point me to the back garden. Part 2 I hold the little dough’s hand by the garden’s doorway with conflicting feelings. It’s true I have many years to my name, but I haven’t an ounce of experience in this romance stuff. Is what I’m about to do the best, or should I just run away? Of course the little dough doesn’t agree with me. He curls his tiny hand into a fist and spiritedly says, “Mom, if you don’t sabotage these lovebirds now, father will be stolen by Princess Mouqing.” He then makes a bereaved face, “From the beginning of time the back garden has always been a scandalous place. At this place, how many heroes have lost their careers and suffer their entire lives due to pretty maidens?” This kid is making me dizzy. I awkwardly ask him, “Hey hey hey, who taught you this stuff?” The little dough thinks then innocently replies, “Two hundred years ago there was a young fairy named Cheng'yu who ascended to the Heavenly Palace. Great-grandfather titled him Yuanjun. He’s the one who told me.” I mull over it and conclude that Cheng'yu Yuanjun’s words are indeed true. I should befriend the wise man one of these days. The little dough grabs my sleeve tightly and pulls me into the garden. I can’t use force on such a small child so I use soft words to explain to him, “Your father’s young and so is princess Mouqing. Then it's only normal for love to happen between the two of them. Wouldn’t it be bad karma if we try to sabotage them while they want to be together? You and Princess Mouqing don’t have any ill feelings either, so let’s not mess up her love.” Maybe I’ve gone too far with my words because the little dough starts to tear. I quickly comfort him with a hug. After calming down, he weakly says, “She saved me once and I’ve thanked her many times. But then she started to treat father differently. Everytime we go to Mount Junji where you used to live, she keeps tailing us. It’s very annoying.”
I can’t stop myself from teaching him, “A life-saving favor can’t be returned with a simple thanks.” If one can just say thank you and forget about it, I would be so much happier right now. Thinking about the happy times that person and I went through as teacher and student, I wouldn’t have so many regrets. The chubby dough collects his thoughts and stomps his feet, “It’s she who doesn’t know her place. She knows father already has a family yet she attaches herself to him. She stays in your room, uses your kitchen, and looks at your husband.” I get lost in thoughts and remember when Yehua appeared, he looked exactly like Moyuan. My heart can’t help it but to be moved. That Mouqing is also strange. Of course I outrank her with my many years. It’d be difficult for someone as ordinary as she to keep latching on. And when did Mount Junji of the east land become Sujin’s property? I’m a bit doubtful, so I ask the little dough and he explains to me right away. I get the basic gist of things from the mumble jumble he spews at me. It turns out his real mother isn’t Yehua’s mistress Lady Sujin but instead a human from the mortal realm. The little dough’s residence still has a portrait of that mortal, dressed in green, eyes covered with a white ribbon like me right now. For some reason she threw herself down Zhuxian Tai three hundred years ago after giving birth to the little dough. I’ve heard about Zhuxian Tai before. Immortals would lose their power and mortals would lose their lives eternally jumping down there. The little dough doesn’t know about this. Before that human was brought to Heaven she did live on Mount Junji of the east land. Yehua sealed away her mountain and brings the little dough there every year for some half month. I’m impressed with Lord Yehua’s courage. He even tells the kid about old palace rivalry without leaving out a little detail. Is he not afraid it’ll become haunting for the kid? One hundred years ago the little dough was chasing after a bunny on the mountain top. His fairy energy drew near a snake demon. Fortunately Princess Mouqing's escort was passing by Mount Junji and rescued him. The little dough brought Mouqing back home for some tea to thank her. Yehua came home as Mouqing was about to leave and she fell in love at first sight. Yehua didn't want to stay indebted so he promised her one wish. In the past 100 years Mouqing has virtually stayed on Mount Junji. Whenever Yehua and his son came to stay, she would cook and wash for them. Yehua didn't think it was right for a princess to do such labors but the princess only abashedly said, “This is my wish. Please grant it to me.” Yehua didn't know what else to do so he let her be.
Truthfully I'm sure the dough is being biased. Looking at that situation, it's hard to say the lady-killer Yehua has never fallen for the kind princess. I’m shocked myself. Yehua’s only about 50 thousand years old and he’s already gone through so many love stories. What a talent he is. What did I do when I was 50 thousand years old? The little dough has mixed feelings on his face. He looks at me wanting to ask but then stops himself. I sternly tell him, “A man should never struggle with his words. You don’t have to put on such a cautious act. Say what you want to say.” He starts to bawl and points at me, “Your face says you don’t want father and me anymore.” I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. Even though we’re engaged, Yehua and I aren’t that close. It’s hard to say at this point whether I want or don’t want them. The little dough backs away with a hurtful look on his face, “Father is marrying a stepmom, you’re marrying someone else, my name is really coming true (Li means to part or separate). I’m going to be lonely with no one by my side. You all dislike me. I only have myself.” His bawling has me stunned. His real mother left him and jumped down Zhuxian Tai. Since he was still so young he would have many unanswered questions. It hasn't been good for him to bottled those feelings up. I quickly smile and pull him in for a hug, “Since I’m your mom, of course I will always want you.” But he still continues with his accusation, “But you still don’t want father. If you don’t want him, he’ll marry Princess Mouqing. If he marries Mouqing, they’ll have another baby. Then they won’t want me anymore.” And he goes on to cry again. My head starts to hurt. I can’t disappoint him so I sweetly lie through my teeth, “Your father is my heart and soul, my precious treasure, my sweet marmalade. Why wouldn’t I want him?” These words really make me want to barf. The little dough seems satisfied and continues to drag my leg toward the flower garden.
I follow him because there’s nothing else I can do now. I really hope Yehua isn’t in the garden this time so I won’t have to act out this jealousy play. If in the unfortunate case he’s really meeting his fair maiden, then “Yehua Jun, you can’t blame me for sabotaging your love life. It’s all to make your precious son happy.” After passing the arch, we see a gazebo not too far away. There stands a black-robed man who is surely Yehua. The yellow-robed woman sitting next to him should be Princess Mouqing. I’ve guessed correctly. He really did go to see his pretty lady. The little dough shakes my arm, “Mom, it’s your turn to go up stage.” He seems too delighted. I feel a migraine coming as I think about what to do next. Out of everyone I know, only my eldest brother Baixuan is the biggest player. What does my sister-in-law do every time she punishes him for his deeds? I am now trying to remember. First are her eyes. They must be cold, sweeping over the cheater from head to toe while treating the other woman like thin air. Then come her words. They must be vague but you must be the one to say them, “I think this is quite good. If you like, you can keep her. I’ll have myself another younger sister.” This is called stepping back to go forward. Although eldest brother goes around he never wanted anyone else except my sister-in-law. Thus it makes her move effective. But my situation is a bit different. While I’m still deciding, the little dough already steps over and kneel down before his father. “Greetings, Father lord.” Yehua furrows his brows and pass his gaze over the kid to stare straight at me. I stubbornly turn my head with a slight greeting. Then I pull the kid up from the ground and flake away the dirt on his knees. I hold him in my laps and sit on the beauty chair. I have such a hard time doing these actions with Yehua’s piercing eyes behind me. Princess Mouqing takes the initiative to ask, “You are…?”
I force a smiling yet ice-cold look on my face and softly caress the little dough’s face, “This child calls me mother.” She’s handed a blow, alright. I do feel a little guilty. Mouqing isn’t bad looking. She’s not as fair as Princess Lu'xiu from the South Sea but she can be seen as a beauty nonetheless. It’s bad karma to be doing this to her while the two of us share no ill feelings. I keep on acting through my discomfort. Using my smiling face and ice-cold eyes, I say, “Dark breezy nights as this really entice one to come out here for some enjoyment. Wouldn’t you say so, meimei***?” (***meimei means younger sister and can be used to address females who are younger than you) Yehua leisurely leans against the gazebo column and watches my tricks. The little dough is thoroughly confused as he turns to look at me. I playfully push his forehead with my finger and smile, “The sky is dark, the earth is clouded. A flower blossom wants to escape the wall.” Then I face Princess Mouqing and continue, “Meimei, is that not right?” She's struck dumb. In a split second tears are already flowing from her eyes. She immediately kneels down before me, “Milady please calm your anger. I didn’t know you would be arriving here. I wouldn’t dare to be called your sister. My love for His Highness is one sided. I really am not hoping to have anything from him. My brother wants to marry me away to the 2nd prince of the West Sea but I only want to follow His Highness forever, even as a maid. I’m not hoping for anything more, please grant me this wish.” So that's what's going on. I'm now touched by this passionate love. My tears fall a few times as I think about how to arrange her into Heaven's palace. But then I remember it's Yehua's household business anyway. After thinking for a long while, I can’t help but to sigh and carry the little dough away. The little dough looks wounded as he leans back against the chair, “You’ve just said father is your heart and soul, your most precious treasure, your sweet marmalade. She’s only taken a look at father and you’re letting her take him away. You don’t keep your words at all.” Now it’s my turn to be speechless. Yehua slightly laughs and step forward to block my path. He strokes my hair and slowly opens his mouth to say, “Am I really your heart and soul?” I uneasily chuckle and take one step back.
He takes another step forward, “Your most precious treasure, hmm?” My smile is now frozen on my face as I back away yet again. He corners me into the gazebo, “Your sweet marmalade?” This time I can’t force a smile on anymore. My mouth dries and I wonder what have I gotten myself into. I keep my eyes and heart still, “You dummy, how can you ask me what you already know. You’re being mean.” In my arms, the little dough becomes stunned. Yehua standing before me is also stunned. I take advantage of this moment to place the kid down on the chair and take off running. What a mighty uncomfortable time I had to go through. Chapter 5
Part 1 I lost my Migu branch. On top of that the night is dark. I have to thank my lucky star to still be somewhere near Donghai right now. I obviously can’t hope to come back to Qingqiu before sunrise. Donghai is made up of water on all sides. I’m only a four-legged fox who’s used to dry ground. I can’t tell the difference at all between these water locations. By the time I come to the surface, I realize I’ve gone north instead of east. The summer sky is bright with moonlight. I sit dejectedly on a low rock off of the north shore of Donghai. It’s not difficult to turn back and start again from Donghai but I really don’t want to face that Yehua Jun again. I’ll have to stay the night on this north shore and decide what to do tomorrow morning. Days in fragrant April are warm but it’s awfully cold when night comes. My thin outfit causes me to sneeze repeatedly as the dark fog spreads across the ocean. At last I leave the rock and crawl into the woods nearby. These woods aren’t as nice as Zheyan’s orchard. The tall branches poke out unevenly. But they layer up and should be okay to block some wind. Although the moon above is bright, I can’t see my fingers at all in these woods. I carefully take the silk ribbon off and bring out a night pearl. I shine around and decide on a spot to sleep for the night.
The trees are really so thick. I’ve got a night pearl with me but I still can’t see any better than the ordinary animals. After about three meters of unsteady steps, I all of a sudden fall into a cavern. My sight becomes clear. Someone has used magic to recreate a star-filled sky. Below, there’s even a flowing stream with a pavilion next to it. The cavern seems somewhat larger than my parents’ Fox Cave. Inside the pavilion are a man and woman making love. The man has his back against me so I can’t see his face. Half of the woman’s face is hidden behind the man’s shoulder but I can tell she’s fairly pretty. She gets frightened, understandably, upon seeing me fall from above. I quickly put on a friendly smile to calm her. She keeps on staring at me until the man turns around at the odd atmosphere forming. A large pond separates us. With his one glance, I’m made to feel like I’m trapped in a hot film of pork fat during summer. It’s both filthy and frightening. A series of old stories deep from the past starts flooding back. His eyes seem like they are sweeping across rivers and mountains before calming down. He finally addresses me, “A Yin.” I look down and solemnly say, “Well aren’t you Demon king Lijing. We’ve long ended our relations so from now on please stop calling me A Yin so carelessly like that.” He sighs, “A Yin, you’ve avoided me for 70 thousand years. Are you going to continue hiding over there?” His voice is so genuine, like he’d be greatly saddened if he doesn’t get to see me. I curiously mull over his words. Our relationship is clearly a torn rag at this stage. How can he so casually say something like that??? Furthermore, he has the nerves to say I avoided him? I know age doesn’t bode well for one’s memory, but as I rack my brain I still can’t remember I ever tried to avoid him. We didn’t run into each other simply because we weren’t fated to. 70 thousand years aren’t short but neither are they long. The east land has gone through at most twenty times of disaster during this period. One day 70 thousand years ago, the late Demon king Jingshang went hunting. He fell for my 9th senior Lingyu and kidnapped him back to Dasiming Palace to make him consort. Since I was with Lingyu, I was also taken hostage.
I became Moyuan’s disciple when I was 50 thousand years old. Moyuan didn’t take in female disciples so my mother used magic to turn me into a male. I was also given a temporary name, Siyin. Everyone back then knew Moyuan’s 17th student Siyin uses a kitchen fan as a weapon. Siyin was also Master Moyuan’s favorite student. Naturally nobody thought he would be a female goddess. Although we were both imprisoned, I wasn’t the main target so they didn’t watch me too tightly. Outside of our three meals, it didn’t matter a whole lot if I went around the palace ground. When I think back, I shouldn’t have eaten the braised meat for lunch on my third day at Dasiming Palace. If I hadn’t eaten that bowl of meat, we wouldn’t go through this scene today. I already had my meal; that braised meat was just an extra snack. After I finished, I wanted to walk around so the food could digest. I ended up stepping two steps further than I do normally. Those two fated steps brought me to Prince Lijing and changed my entire life. Part 2 Part 2 tells how the two of them met and became friends. Lijing then fell in love with Siyin but couldn’t handle his homosexual feelings so he avoided her instead. Lijing rubs me in the wrong way though. If you've read Austen, he's very much like Henry Crawford from Mansfield Park so I don’t care to translate his portion. Moyuan ended up rescuing his two students out from Dasiming Palace back to Kunlun. Part 3 I never want to remember that night but I can never forget it. After coming back to Kunlun, Moyuan left Lingyu to 4th senior’s care and hastily took me to the medicine room. He knocked me unconscious and locked me inside the medicine cauldron. When I woke up, I had thought Moyuan was punishing me for not taking care of Lingyu, causing him to be sick for more than half a month. Then I suddenly heard sounds of thunder. When I finally gathered my thoughts, I realize it was heaven’s trial waiting for me. Moyuan placed me here so I’d be safe from it.
Although I was born an immortal, I still had to go through trials to reach higher divinity. Normally immortals have to go through 2 trials to become a High Deity. If they pass, they can live among Heaven and Earth. But they can lose their lives if not. I had been at Moyuan’s school for two thousand years at that time. Theoretically, one can foresee when and in what form a heavenly trial will come to oneself. But I’ve always disliked this prophecy subject. I would fall asleep every time Moyuan lectures on it. Thus even though I’ve studied for so long I could only foresee a mortal’s fate. And I still get it wrong half of the times. I only knew vaguely my trial was coming that year. All other details were unknown to me. I sat in the medicine cauldron for a long time before I realized that if I was in there, somebody was taking the punishment for me outside. The thunderous sounds woke my empty mind up. I turned to leave the kiln, but at last couldn’t do it. It was the first time in my life when I realized one has to be shameless in order to live. My eldest senior opened the kiln door on the next day and told me, “17th, teacher took on three strikes for you yesterday. Study harder from now on so he won’t have to take more trials for you.” When I left the kiln, Moyuan was already locked away in recovery meditation. I came and knelt in front of his chamber for three days. My tears poured like rain. “Teacher, you’re gravely injured aren’t you? How shameless I am to implicate you. You absolutely can’t fall sick. I’ll die if something happens to you.” That was the only time in my life I have bawled with so much pain. Chapter 6
Part 1 Part 1 talks about Lijing coming to Mt. Kunlun to find Siyin and confessing to her his feelings. She ends up accepting him. Again, the guy is smarmy and I have no idea why Siyin fell for him. Part 2 I really don’t want to remember our old memories anymore. But it’s also been a long time, and there are details which are now hazy to me. Let’s pick up where Xuan’nu entered into the story. Xuan’nu is my first sister-in-law’s younger sister. When my sister-in-law married into our family, Xuan’nu was still an infant. My sister-in-law’s family had some problem at
home that year so Xuan’nu was raised by my oldest brother and his wife, growing up with me. Xuan’nu had liked outer appearance a lot. She kept telling me over and over she wanted a face like mine. Her constant reminder gave me unbearable headaches. When her birthday came, I went to Shi Li Tao Hua and asked Zheyan for his disguise potion. Xuan’nu was made to look almost exactly as I do and was overjoyed with her granted wish. I was also happier because of the resulting peace and quiet. It was a good thing for everyone involved. After maturing, Xuan’nu went back to her parents’. We didn’t stay in contact. While Lijing and I were together, my sister-in-law sent me a letter. It turned out her parents had wanted to marry Xuan’nu off to a blind bear and Xuan’nu had run away from home because of it. My brother and sister thought their place wasn’t the safest so they decided to send Xuan’nu my way. Upon receiving my sister’s letter, I right away prepared a guest room and sent a letter to my Eldest Senior telling him there will be an acquaintance coming to Kunlun. Eldest senior had been in a good mood lately and became more spirited when he heard the acquaintance is a female, so he happily agreed. Three days later Xuan’nu arrived on Kunlun by cloud. When she saw me she was somewhat shocked. My sister-in-law didn’t tell her she’d be staying with me, her childhood friend Bai Tian. She was only told she’d be staying with a close family friend. Eldest senior said, “I really can’t believe she’s not your younger sister. You two are exactly alike… maybe except for femininity.” I was more concerned with my future, so of course I wasn’t the kind to gaze at the moon in the sky and the lotus in the pond. Why would there be any femininity in me. Xuan’nu seemed to be depressed all day long. As an old friend, I wanted to help her so when I descended Kunlun to meet Lijing, I brought her along with me. When Lijing saw Xuan’nu, he was stunned for a while and when he finally regained his mind, he obtusely asked, “Where did this female Siyin come from?” Xuan’nu laughed hearing his words. I was relieved when I saw her cheered up. The next day I brought her along again to see Lijing.
One day I picked some apples and wanted to bring them to Lijing once the sun set. Eldest senior floated down to the tree and gritted his teeth as he told me, “You blamed me for beating up that kid too hard last time. But I’m regretting it now that I didn’t beat him to death. Now that he’s got your heart, he’s cheating on you with Xuan’nu.” I lost my balance and gripped the tree trunk. “Senior, what did you say?” He supported me and said, “Just now on the foot of the mountain I saw that bastard holding hands with Xuan’nu on a walk. They seemed very intimate.” Struck with shock, I pushed his hands away and instantly left the mountain. The fire unicorn was dozing off outside the cave. I turned myself into a firefly and entered the cave. There were indeed two people on the stone bed. I could slightly see the face of the woman on the bottom. Her breathing shallow. The man on top with long, black, tangled hair softly called out, “Xuan'nu, Xuan'nu.” My heart at once became cold. I fell to the ground at the slight blow of a breeze and turned back into my human form. Lijing and Xuan'nu simultaneously turned their heads; both were overcome with just enough fright as one may expect. I fanned Lijing first and was about to fan Xuan'nu when he held me back. Xuan'nu draped the blanket tightly around herself and hid in his arms. We pushed and pull for half a cup of tea time when at last he gave up and solemnly said, “A Yin, I'm very sorry. I'm not homosexual afterall.” “Isn't that a convenient excuse, choosing when to be homosexual on your whims. So what will you do with me now?” He stayed in silent for a long time before replying, “I was mistaken.” Xuan'nu wept as she said, “Master Siyin, please let us be. The two of us are in love. But the two of you are both men. It's, it's just not right.” I coldly scoffed and said, “Then what exactly is right? Betraying love and loyalty? Stealing someone else's love, breaking someone else's happiness? Are those what would be right?”
Color drained out of her face and she had nothing else to say. My first love ended from that day. Every time I thought about Lijing and Xuan'nu, and then my stupid self, I became awfully miserable. When I was still with Lijing, he gave me many adorable, if not costly, gifts. I lost my sleep for one whole night and burned them all away. But my heart was still troubled so I went off for some drinks. I stayed drunk in Kunlun's wine cellar for three days straight. When I woke up, I was laying in Teacher’s arms. Moyuan leaned against the railings. His right hand held a wine jug, his left held me. When he saw me, he only frowned and quietly said, “Cry if you want to. It isn’t good to keep things bottled up. You’ll just be wasting my good wine this way.” I hugged him tightly and cried for a long time. Then I looked up at him and said, “Teacher, you’ve finally left meditation. Are your injuries better? Can you move around yet?” He glanced at me and chuckled, “I’m much better. I won’t need to brew you for my medicine.” My relationship with Lijing wasn’t known by other people. All my seniors thought the person I loved was Xuan’nu and that my pain was caused because Lijing stole her from me. It was a big mess. Only Master Moyuan knew the truth. He patted my hair and said, “Lijing has normally been wise. Too bad he has poor eye sight.” Soon after leaving meditation, Moyuan was invited by Dongshen Xuanming. Master Xuanming had lived in the north land and is about a couple of thousand miles away from us. He wanted to hold a convention and so sent an envoy to invite Moyuan from Kunlun to come and lecture. Moyuan took a look at the invitation and said, “There’s no great trouble to lecture. The mountain where Xuanming lives is also a scenic place. Little 17 th, prepare your things and come with me.” I happily went back to my room to pack. Eldest senior followed me to my door and said, “Teacher would never accept these trite invitations in the past. He must want to take you away so you can forget your sadness. 17th, I know you’re still hurt inside but it must be tiring for teacher to take care of you on
top of everything else he has to do. You’re grown now, be filial and stop giving teacher more worries.” I nod my head. After the symposium ended, Moyuan took me around the north land for three more days before coming back to Kunlun. At that time we also heard of the 2nd Demon Prince’s wedding news. Invitations were sent to everyone and the Demon kingdom held a 9 day celebration. Dasiming Palace and Kunlun’s relations had long soured. Of course the invitation didn’t come from them. I only received my sister-in-law’s letter saying her mother is very pleased with the match and no longer needs me to take care of Xuan’nu. I wasn’t so petty a person. Even though Lijing had wronged me, it was merely a passing romance. Give it some time and I’d still probably be able to drink wine with him. Had this next thing not happen. Jingshang found Lijing a mistress from the Demon lineage. Xuan’nu was kicked out not long after that. They returned a blood-covered Xuan’nu back to Kunlun. My kind-hearted eldest senior took her back after seeing the awful condition she was in. Moyuan looked on at eldest senior’s action with one eye opened and the other closed. Soon after, Demon king Jingshang waged war against Kunlun and the rest of fairy land with the pretext of his stolen bride (Lingyu). Moyuan led the Heaven kingdom’s armies to fight against the invasion. Part 3 The Demon kingdom was about to be destroyed when Xuan’nu stole our strategy map and gave it to Lijing. It was then that we discovered Xuan’nu’s abandonment was merely a “misery tactic.” Too bad eldest senior tried to save her and brought home a wolf. Moyuan commanded his armies for an offensive attack before the Demon kingdom could unlock our strategic formations. I never once thought about Moyuan’s previous injuries when he took the three lightning bolts for me. He couldn’t have fully recovered within a couple of short months. Had I have even one tiny doubt, things wouldn’t have ended this way. But he pretended so well, so very well.
At the last battle, our armies line the two shores of Ruoshui River. Dark clouds covered the sky. I thought the Demon kingdom would wave the white flag at any moment, but shockingly Jingshang brought out the Donghuang Bell. He laughed and said, “As long as I am still the Demon King, I will never surrender. If I have to die, I’ll take you all along with me.” I wasn’t worried then. I thought even though the Donghuang Bell is a destructive weapon, it was created by Moyuan and thus he would have ways to control it. I can still see it clearly now the scene where Moyuan raised his Xianyuan sword and flew straight at the Donghuang Bell. Red bloody beams flash from around it as it pierced through his body. He couldn’t fight against it, but as its maker, he understood it the best. He had used his last strength to seal Jingshang within the bell. Unexpectedly, he turned around and faintly moved his lips. Later, my 7th brother who knew how to read lips told us when Teacher passed away, he said only three words, “Wait for me.” With their king gone, the eldest Demon prince led his remaining 30,000 soldiers and came before our 100,000 to surrender. 4th brother said I held Teacher’s body in my arms and furiously rejected the Demon kingdom’s truce. I even said I’d take all their lives if Teacher doesn’t survive, almost causing another war. 7th senior comforted me by saying, “Teacher told us to wait for him. Perhaps he’ll come back one day if we preserve his body well enough.” I heard there is a soul pearl in the Demon kingdom. If Moyuan kept the pearl inside his mouth, his body would be able to stay forever. But this soul pearl is a holy object and it’s unlikely the Demon kingdom will hand it over. I pushed aside all past conflicts between myself and Lijing, hoping he would think of our old friendship and let me borrow the pearl. Within the glorious Dasiming Palace, Lijing sat on his high throne to appraise me for a long while. He seemed much more majestic now that he's the Demon King. He told me in an unhurried voice, “Thinking about our friendship, I do want to give the pearl to you. Unfortunately our palace has gone through much chaos and it’s been lost for some time now. There’s really nothing I can do.”
As I dejectedly left Dasiming Palace, I saw an exquisitely-dressed Xuan’nu. She shyly smiled to me, “You came here from so far away, why don’t you stay and rest for a while? If you leave so early people will say we aren’t good hosts.” I loathed her so much but I had no energy left to fight with her. I ignored her and kept on walking. She didn’t know when to stop and showed her hand to me, “You came to borrow this pearl, am I right?” Inside her jade palm is a twinkling pearl. I numbly looked up at her. She broke into laughter and said, “His majesty gifted it to me the other day so I can heal my injuries. Jingshang’s beating wasn’t mild you know. It’s not good to leave so many scars on a girl’s body.” It’s not good to leave so many scars on a girl’s body indeed. I look up to the sky and laugh. Then I scooped Xuan’nu under my arms and flew straight to Lijing’s palace. When we got there, I pulled her toward Lijing and opened her hand up in front of him. His face blanched white as he mumbled for words, unable to say anything. I threw Xuan’nu into his arms and retreated to the door. I miserably laughed, “The one thing I regret the most in my entire life was coming here and meeting you. What a pair you two make; one is treacherous, the other despicable. From now on I won’t stand under the same sky with you Dasiming people.” I was young and hot-tempered so I didn’t want that pearl anymore. I went straight out of Dasiming Palace. When I came back to Kunlun, Moyuan’s appearance was only getting worse. I had no better option. At sunset I stole a bit of sleeping potion and drugged my seniors’ dinner. When night came, while everyone was still in deep sleep, I carried Moyuan’s body out of Kunlun back to Qingqiu. There is a small mountain in the north of Qingqiu called Fengyi Shan. There’s a cave with good energy on the mountain side. My father named it Yanhua Cave. I laid Moyuan on the stonebed inside. However, I was worried I wouldn’t have enough energy to bring my blood to him once I draw my blood out, so I crawled in and laid next to him as well. Moyuan was so badly injured that he needed to take my blood every day. I had to wait for his injuries to completely heal before the blood transfusion can lower to once a month. I knew I wouldn’t last for many more nights. I thought to myself that if I died, he wouldn’t be able to come back either. When we both die, at least we should have each other’s company in the afterlife. For that reason I brought him here to Yanhua Cave. This is the place I had once picked as my final resting place.
It went on for 7 days. I thought for sure I wouldn’t be alive anymore. When I opened my eyes, I saw my mother with her puffy red eyes. Mother gave me half of her life’s energy and saved my life. I also turned back into a girl. I’ve lived for too long and can’t remember the past very clearly now. Lijing crosses the bamboo bridge and comes before me. I jerk back to reality and remember that I’ve fallen inside a cavern. The same place the Demon king was meeting his demon mate. He holds my hand and genuinely says, “A Yin, I’ve searched for you the past 70 thousand years.” I glance to check the female demon in the pavilion. She still looks entirely confused. Lenders have always been the ones to chase down debtors. Never have I seen a debtor chasing down his lender each day to remind her, “Why haven’t you asked me to repay my debt?” At any rate, he owes me a lot more than I owe him. I pull my hand away and retreated a few steps. He then steps forward and stares at me, “You’re already beautiful in male clothings. Why disguise into a female? A Yin, do you still hate me? You once said you and Dasiming Palace won’t stand under the same sky. You know I…” I ruffle my sleeves and force a smile, “Your majesty, you can stop worrying about that. That was caused by my momentary anger. The fairies and the demons are getting along well these days. I’ve lived long enough to be reasonable. I’m not going to waste my effort getting upset over useless things and end up affecting our peace. You and I… let’s just stay out of each other’s way.” He blurts out, “A Yin, I know I have wronged you only because you aren’t female. I was, I was… These past 70 thousand years they all told me that you’ve… that you… But I still won’t believe it. I’ve missed you all this time, A Yin…” His constant “A Yin, A Yin” gives me headaches. I angrily say, “Who said I’m not a woman? Open your eyes and look carefully. Is there any male who looks like me?” His hand hovers in the air. Minutes later he says, “You’re a woman? But why did you…” I duck to the side and reply, “My teacher doesn’t accept female students, so my mother turned me into a male. Since you’re speaking of old times, let me also speak of old times. That year you forgot me and chose Xuan’nu. You used four pairs of unicorns to bring her back to your palace. The celebration lasted 9 days with all the proper ceremonies…”
He holds onto my sleeve and says, “If you were hurting then why didn’t you tell me you were a girl?” I get stumped when he turns it around on me. After some thinking, I honestly answer him, “It did hurt a lot back then, although I can’t remember too clearly now. Anyway, don’t tell me you liked Xuan’nu for her face and not her personality. Since we no longer had anything to do with each other, it didn’t matter whether I told you or not.” He bites his lips. Tonight hasn’t been good at all. When I see that he doesn’t have anything else to say, I turn and use an invisible spell. It’s best to stop this push and pull game now. His voice calls out “A Yin” from behind But there's no longer an A Yin in this world. Chapter 7
Part 1 3rd brother and his wife aren’t home. There are only several young servants at the cave playing with crickets outside the gate. Their leader Yunsheng runs out happily and says, “Lady, you don't come by often yet you choose the wrong time to do it. Madam left home so the lord also rode out on his white tiger to look for her. If you like, I will play host to welcome you.” The two of them are always running and chasing like that, treating it as an enjoyment of sorts. They haven’t changed in all these years. I'm hungry at this time though, so I ask Yunsheng to prepare some food. After breakfast, I give him the two wine bottles and ride back to Qingqiu on a cloud. Midway, I suddenly remember that Tianwu’s grave is also this way so I make a visit. Most of the ancient immortals are decidedly handsome. But instead of possessing good looks, Tianwu’s looks was rather unique. He compensated quality with quantity: he had eight heads. I befriended him when I was studying at Kunlun. After going through his trial, he was burned to death by the lightning bolts. When I ran from Qingqiu to Xiazhou upon hearing the news, all that was left was a white skeleton. I stay in Xiazhou for half a day. When I arrived home, it is already noon. As my feet touch the ground, a green childlike figure comes crawling out from my parents’ Fox Cave.
Migu looks his part of a babysitter, “Your highness, slow down, slow down.” My eyes are starting to spin. The kid yelps in surprise and throws himself over to hug my leg. His pitiful eyes are now welling with tears. “Mom, you didn’t keep your promise. You didn’t come home with us to Heaven.” Migu glances over at me with suppressed curiosity.
I glare at him and wave my hand as if I am seeing a guest out. He bows to me and says, “You left Qingqiu under my care. I can turn away normal people but this is the Crown Prince of Heaven, so I couldn’t stop him. He also brought along your son. As a favor to the little Prince, I had to let the Crown Prince in as well. I acted without your permission, please give me my punishment.” I stand numbly. Lord Yehua is also here? Did he especially come to punish me for sabotaging his meeting with the princess? The little dough holds onto my hand and says, “Father says you won’t come back with us because you don’t like it in Heaven. But that’s alright, we’ll just come and live with you then. Anyplace is fine as long as you’re there.” His words are making my head spin. “You say you want to stay with me? Your father also came to stay with me?” The innocent dough nods repeatedly. Being a thoughtful person, Migu supports me while softly speaks into my ears, “Lady, stay calm.” Tianjun had stayed at his aunt’s home in the past and fell in love with his cousin. Living under the same roof can bring two people closer together. Yehua might just want to come here to improve our affection. But I don’t think this has got anything to do with improving relations. I think he’s only doing this to give me a hard time. Now I’m worried. I relax a little when Migu tells me Yehua left the little dough here and has gone back to Heaven. The little dough looks at me pleadingly, “Mom, I’m hungry~.” We haven’t cooked anything for a few days. I turn and ask Migu, “Does your place have anything to eat?”
Migu abashedly replies, “No, never.” I surprisingly ask, “Wasn’t Fangjiu cooking for you until recently? Did she go back to her parents’ home?” He seems quite upset, “Half a year ago she said she needs to go to the mortal realm to repay a favor. She hasn’t returned since. Only Heaven knows if she’s been kept back by her benefactor. I only hope she doesn’t bring back a little fox when she returns.” The little dough comes into the understanding that he won’t have food for the moment and his eyes start to dwell with tears. I’ve been with him for two days and already I know his personality. He will act with utter misery but his tears will never fall. They only dwell inside his eyes to make me feel the awful guilt of having mistreated him. Even though I never mistreat him. Migu of course doesn’t know how to handle this trick yet and quickly grabs his hand, “Brother will take you to find some food. Your Highness, do you like the rose myrtle fruits?” The corner of my mouth twitches. The little dough is at most several hundred years old. Migu is 137,000 years old this year. How can he not look in the mirror and shamelessly call himself “brother”? I follow them to the east side of the market. The small fairies respectfully greeted me, “Gugu.” The little dough seems displeased as he runs over to the old pine tree fairy and asks, “My mom is both young and beautiful. How can you call her like she’s so old?” The pine tree fairy becomes speechless for an extended interval, “Gugu, since when did you have a kid?” I look to the sky for an answer and reply, “Since yesterday.” The little dough comes and sits across from me. His tiny hands are also copying us in picking out fruits. But because he’s so short, the baskets all cover his eyes the moment he sits down. He refuses to stay still and leaves to the next stand so that he may pick like the rest of us. As I’m enthusiastically choosing, a hand pushes its way in front of me. Its long slender fingers are beautiful. Thinking it’s Migu, I just shift over to take another one. But he insists on picking the same one I want each time. Feeling odd, my eyes follow up along
his black sleeve. The little dough’s father, Lord Yehua who was supposed to tend to business on Jiuchongtian, is now bent over at the fruit stall. He laughs out loud as he sees me. What a dangerous laugh he’s displaying. “Well, aren’t you Lord Yehua. Have you eaten? We’re having rose myrtle fruits for lunch, would you like to join us?” Yehua’s smiling face freezes as he disapprovingly looks at the fruits in my hand, “A Li is so big already. You’re only going to feed him this stuff?” I pinch the dough’s chubby face and ask him, “Do you want to eat this?” He pouts and replies, “Yes…” Yehua has nothing else to say. He rests his hand on his forehead and looks at me for a while, then grabs my hand and asks, “Is there a place that sells meat and vegetables around here?” He pulls me away while I was still thinking. Migu carries the little dough and runs after us, “Lady, are we still buying these fruits?” Yehua is walking a bit too fast. I try to keep up with him while telling Migu, “Of course. We spent half a day picking them. Did we pick them so someone else can buy them?” There’s been too much traveling today. Soon after, the entire town catches words that there’s a not-too-shabby-looking man who brought with him a little toddler to live in their Lord’s home. The chubby toddler calls their Lady “mother” and that man “Father.” Qingqiu’s been peaceful for too long. Only the small problem of 4 th brother’s riding bird gone missing has wasted their saliva for 3 years of gossip. They’re now delighted with this news of mine. A gray wolf from the north market came by with a basket of fish, “They’re only a few fish. You should steam them to recover your health.” Yehua takes the basket and replies, “Having a child is indeed an arduous task. I do want to recuperate with her.” The gray wolf strokes his beard and laughs obtusely. I’m getting goosebumps all over. Recuperate over my dead body. Part 2
The little dough has already eaten a handful of fruits by the time we get back to the Fox Cave. Migu kindly smiles and takes a broom to sweep away the fruit skin. Yehua lifts a tea cup up as he tells me, “Aren’t you going to make lunch?” I coolly give Migu a glance and also sit down to take a tea cup in my hand. The little dough pats his stomach and tugs my hand, “Mom, I want lunch too.” I push the tea cup over to him. Migu frowns next to me, “Lady, you well know that…” I casually reassure him, “There’s a first time for everything. You’ve gone through lightning bolts before, why are you afraid of this? I’m confident in your ability.” He walks into the kitchen so very unwillingly. There’s suddenly a crashing sound coming from the kitchen. A disarranged Migu stands by the door with a ladle in his hand, looking at me with resentful eyes. I choke on my laugh and turn around to compromise with Yehua, “The little dough seems like he’s full. We’re adults so it doesn’t matter much whether we eat or not. Let’s just say our meal is taken care of for today, okay?” Then I turn to Migu and seriously tell him, “Come down to the mortal world and bring back Fangjiu.” Migu asks, “For what reason, Ma’am?” I think and carefully say, “Tell her there’s an emergency in Qingqiu.” I still haven’t finished when Yehua drags me toward the kitchen, “Can you add woods to the fire?” It’s only been two days since I met him and now I get to see him cook in my kitchen. Every now and then he would tell me, “The fire’s too strong, take some out,” or, “The fire’s too little, add some woods.” I now remember that the little dough’s mother was a mortal from Mount Junji. Ah, so Yehua’s skills are probably taught by the ill-fated madam. He has a ladle in one hand and a spatula in another, displaying a range of unworldly skills. I’m so impressed that I can’t suppress my genuine words, “Your old wife must be a good cook.” He freezes for a moment.
Now I remember his wife is long dead. By mentioning her I’ve reopened his old wounds. The fire cackles, its flames licking the bottom of the pan. I gulp and quietly add more woods to the stove. Yehua takes the dish and stands up. He looks at me strangely and coolly says, “Her skills are as ordinary as yours are. When I cooked, she also only stayed on the side to add more woods to the fire.” I awkwardly run out of words. He turns and takes the vegetables away, softly adding, “How did you survive alone on Mount Junji before meeting me?” He was speaking to himself but the words reached my ears all the same. Suddenly I feel sympathetic for this person. Yehua made three stir-fried’s and one soup. I call Migu in to eat after he’s washed himself. Yehua wakes the little dough up and forces him to eat. The dough cries as he chews, “If you still force me to eat, I’ll become a round ball from all this food.” Lord Yehua slowly lifts his teacup up and says, “Isn’t it good to become a ball? Then I won’t have to take you to Heaven by cloud. I can just take a kick and you’ll fly straight to your Jingwan Palace.” The little dough at once buries his face into me and pretends to cry, “Waaa~ father’s a meanie.” Yehua places his teacup down and ladles the soup into a bowl as he smiles to the dough, “Found a strong ally, haven’t you?” Then he brings the soup to me and says, “Here Tiantian~, you should eat more.” Migu almost chokes on his food, coughing nonstop. My cheeks flush as I lift the little dough’s sleepy head up and coax him, “Good boy, drink this soup.” Yehua’s cooking isn’t bad, even if I’ve never liked fish soup before. The other three dishes are very good too. I give Yehua 3rd brother's room. At first I thought he came here to get even with me, but it's been half a month and he still hasn't mentioned a thing about the Water Palace. Every morning a minor fairy named Jiajun comes knocking at our door. He brings new reports and takes old ones away.
Most of the time, Lord Yehua locks himself in the study to take care of his reports. In the morning he would drag me along for his daily walks. After dinner we would walk some more. In the evening he’d make me come to his study and play chess (or go) with him. He bothers me for many days straight. There are times when I would fall asleep in the middle of a game with my face laid on his desk. He doesn’t wake me up and instead places his head down and sleeps on the same desk with me. To think that Jiajun has seen this intimate scene, rumors will definitely fly. Just because he does his job doesn’t mean he doesn’t gossip. As predicted, Lady Sujin all the way from Heaven has sent down her maid several times to see Yehua. My estimation is right in the bull’s-eye. But thanks to Migu, I’ve never had the honor to meet her. I only hear from the gossip-mongers that the beautiful yet ill-mannered maid arrogantly said to Migu, “Our Lady isn't so petty that she doesn't accept other people, especially the future Queen. She is only thinking for the best. Lady Bai Tian has yet to enter nuptials with His Highness the Crown Prince. It's not proper to stay together all day long, having an indecent relationship like this. Even the present Tianjun did not do so in his days.” I carefully mull over her words for a long time. Except for the “staying together all day long” and “having an indecent relationship” being false, everything else did make sense. I also want to know why Lord Yehua wants to stay at my place for so long. Thus I use this incident as a reason to ask him. He is preparing to paint a lotus scene but as he hears my words, he furrows his brows and says, "You're here and thus I came. You’re my wife after all; outsiders have no rights to question our business.” At his reminder, I remember once more that the Yehua standing here is the same husband Tianjun has promised me. Younger than myself by 90 thousand years. How funny. My husband. I agree thoughtlessly, then speak seriously, “If I had married when I was supposed to, my grandchildren would’ve been your age by now.” He pauses. I glance over to look at his parchment on the table. He does have a strong handwriting, what great calligraphy. He doesn’t say anything. He sets the brush down and calmly looks at me with those frosty eyes. I awkwardly laugh and then change topics, “The heavenly maid said you’ve brought Princess Muqing from the East Sea to Heaven?”
This man's temperament is so hard to figure. He was still in a bad mood just moments ago, looking at me with those cold eyes, but he's now taking out his paint brush and brightly smiling to me, “Stand by the window. Alright, take the bamboo chair. Okay, how about lying down? Yes, yes, rest your head against the chaise. Be comfortable.” I rigidly do as he says like a doll. Then I realize he wants to paint a portrait for me. It hasn’t been that long on the bamboo chaise when I already change to a “Camellia Sleeps in the Spring” position without saying anything. He paints for a while longer before suddenly saying, “Muqing would rather die than to marry the West Sea’s 2nd prince. She did take care of A Li and me in the past so I took her back to be a handmaiden in Heaven. I’ll let her go once she’s thought things over.” I’m a little surprised. I didn’t think he would explain it that way. He lifts his head up. His face is kind as he says, “Anything else to tell me? You might as well say them now.” I gratefully say, “My arms are numb. Can I change my sitting position now?” He laughs. He paints a few more strokes before telling me, “It’s up to you.” I end up sleeping on the bamboo chaise without realizing. When I wake, the sky is already dark. A black coat covers my body. It looks like the one Yehua wore, but I don’t see him anywhere. Chapter 8
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Part 1 I crawl down from my bed and take care of my morning hygiene as simply as possible. Then I drink some tea and look out toward the cave’s entrance waiting for Yehua to take me on our walk. I don’t know what’s wrong with him either. He walks every single morning and insists to take me along each time. There’s nothing extraordinary about the scenery nearby. There are only some small bamboo groves along with some clear streams. It’s charming the first few times but it gets old after a while. I have to give it to him for being excited still after half a month. I leisurely walk outside and hear raindrops falling. I suppress my joy as I lay the teacup back down on the table and quickly go back to my room for another nap. Sleep hasn’t come yet when I hear footsteps coming near. As my eyes fly open, I see Yehua standing by my bed. I make a sad face and say, “I’m not sure which Water Lord is making rain today. I'm sorry you have to miss your walk. Please put up with the indoors for one day, okay?” Yehua faintly smirks without saying anything. The little dough who should still be sleeping sticks his head out from behind Yehua and energetically jumps onto my bed. He’s wearing a brightly embroidered outfit today which highlights his small hands and his pink chubby cheeks. I’m still blinded by his bright outfit when he hugs my neck and cutely says, “Father says he’ll take us down to the mortal realm for a stroll today. Why are you still in bed?” He’s got me surprised. Yehua conveniently takes the cape draping on the room divider and gives it to me, “Luckily it’s not raining down there.” What exactly is it that he wants? If he doesn’t know the way and needs a guide, he should’ve asked a local Earth deity. Although I went to the mortal realm now and again when I was studying at Kunlun, I can't remember directions anymore. It’s a bad idea to ask me. But the little dough’s big darling eyes are staring at me with full of hope that I can’t come up with any excuses. As soon as I hop onto the cloud, I turn myself into a young male fairy and tell the little dough, “You’ll call your father ‘father’ and you’ll call me ‘godfather’ okay?”
He doesn’t really get why but he’s always listened to me so he obediently agrees. Yehua doesn’t pay much attention. He turns his cape to look like ones from the mortal realm and looks at me as he says, “You look good this way too.” I laugh and say, “You’re too kind.” The little dough points and thrills at everything he sees on the way. Everything is new and strange to him. Tianjun’s dignity is wiped clean by his actions. But Yehua doesn’t seem to mind. He and I slowly walk behind while the dough runs ahead. The mortal realm’s market is also more rowdy than Qingqiu’s. I softly flap my fan and ask Yehua, “Why the sudden urge to come here? Didn’t Jiajun bring you a stack of reports yesterday? It didn’t seem easy to take care of.” He gives me a quick glance and says, “Today is A Li’s birthday.” I “ah” and close my fan, “How bad of you to not tell me earlier. I don’t have anything precious on me right now. He calls me mom and yet I don’t have any present for his birthday. Wouldn’t that make me an awful person?” He says indifferently, “What big gifts are you going to give him? A night shining pearl?” I ask, surprised, “How do you know?” His eyes crinkle into a smile, “People in Heaven mentioned your gift giving in one of their banters. They say your signature gift is a night shining pearl and it hasn’t changed for years. A small one for a small fairy, a big one for a big fairy; apparently you're very fair. A Li is still young so he won’t recognize the worth of a night shining pearl. It’s better to take him out for fun today.” I scratch my nose and laugh, “I have one that’s half a person’s size. From afar it’d look like a small moon. If we hang it in his palace, it’ll be even brighter than Maori Xingjun’s (God of the Morning) place. It’s the only one in the entire world…” As I go on animatedly, I find myself abruptly pulled back and falling into his arms. A horse carriage madly speeds past us. Yehua slightly frowns. The two galloping horses suddenly come to a stop, neighing as they rear. The wooden carriage comes crashing on the ground at the sudden halt. The driver rolls out from his seat and wipes his sweat as he says, “Thank Heaven these two crazy horses finally stopped.” The little dough who was still skipping ahead just moments ago comes crawling out from under the horse's belly. He holds in his hands a young traumatized girl. The girl actually
looks taller than the little dough, and it seems like she's being dragged away from the waist. A woman dashes out from the crowd and pulls the girl away from the little dough. She wails as she says, “You frightened me to death, you frightened me to death.” This scene is somewhat familiar. My own mother's image appears in my mind. Her miserable crying appearance, the way she held onto me tightly. “Where did you go these two hundred years. Why did you become this way...” I shake my head determining it must be hallucination. My mother didn't even act that way when I was about to die in Yanhua Cave with Moyuan. On top of that, I never left Qingqiu for two hundred years at a time. Ah, but I did sleep for two hundred years after the battle against Jingshang 500 years ago. The little dough runs to us and innocently asks, “Father, why do you have godfather in your arms?” The recently horrified crowd immediately switches their gaze to us. I laugh uneasily as I leave Yehua's chest and say, “I fell, I fell.” The little dough sighs in relief and says, “What a good thing you fell into father’s arms. If you had fallen to the ground, your beautiful face would be cut and then father will be in a lot of pain. I’ll be in a lot of pain too.” He contemplates on something and turns to ask Yehua, “Right, father?” Everyone’s eyes turn to Yehua. He nonchalantly strokes his chin and says, “Right.” I'm so embarrassed I want to hide my head in the ground. When we are eating lunch a lake-side restaurant, a Taoist nun comes by and asks to join us. She was with the driver of the horse carriage. She thanks Yehua for having saved her life and keeps on blushing while trying to insist she will come by his home one day to repay the favor. I want to laugh my head off. This nun, she isn't dreaming of a Spring dream is she? Now I know why Moyuan didn't want to accept any female disciples. With their faces, it's hard to avoid amour. Yehua takes another sip of his tea and continues with his cold ways, “There's a reason for everything. Today's result was naturally caused by your past kindness. It has nothing to do with me. You don't have to keep it in your heart.” Miaoyun the nun doesn't know what else to say. She sees me and the little dough and gently says, “You too are a very handsome young fairy.”
I humbly reply, “I may be handsome now, but who knows how I'll turn out when I grow up. There's another fairy from my hometown who was beyond exquisite as a child. But 3000 years past and he turned ordinary.” The little dough tugs my sleeve unhappily. I want to die laughing. It's hard to get the chance to criticize someone and still get to pretend to be humble. Yehua lifts his cup and smiles to me, “What's the use of a man having good looks? It's better to bring out your fist than to bring out your face during fights.” After a sip of tea, he continues, “I heard daughters take after the father and sons take after their mother. I think when A Li grows up, he won't look too bad.” The teary-eyed dough instantly regains his spirit. He looks at Yehua with deep feelings as if he's sorry he can't scoot closer to his father. I cough lightly and say affectionately, “It doesn't matter how he looks when he grows up. Since he's my blood and flesh, he'll always be in my heart.” The little dough immediately turns to look at me with tear-dwell eyes. He scoots over closely to me without leaving a millimeter in between. Yehua chuckles without saying anything more. Part 2 Yehua seems to have caught a cold bug when our meals are brought to us. He deliberately takes a bit from every dish to give me. He even smiles kindly and intimately tells me, “You like this dish, have a bit more.” Or, “I know you don't like this dish but it's good for your health. You're already so thin, you'll pain me if you don't take care of yourself.” I know he's using me as a shield but I still want to barf at his words. Miaoyun also feels uncomfortable hearing these words. Her driver eats quickly and takes his mistress away. Yehua finally stops giving me food. I sigh in relief. He says, “What will we do in the future if you can't take my confessions now?” I ignore him and just eat my lunch. We still haven't finished our meal when Jiajun appears and whispers something to Yehua. Yehua turns around and tells me, “Can you watch A Li this afternoon? I need to go back to Heaven for a little bit. I'll look for you two in the evening.”
I thought there's not any storyteller in Heaven so I take the little dough to see a play. I somehow fell asleep in the middle of the play and discover him gone when I wake up. When I finally find him through my mirror, he is at a brothel. I ask him why he left me to come here and he explained he was trying to save a young lady from several men. But they disappeared when he got downstairs so someone told him to go here. He went through walls and went to the wrong room by mistake. The little dough wipes his nose and pouts for a long while before saying, “There were two people who tightly hugged each other on the bed. It seemed interesting so I just wanted to see what they were doing.” My heart starts beating fast as I tremble to ask him, “What... did you see?” He thinks and says, “Hugging, touching.” After a while he stammers and asks, “Mom, what were they doing?” I look up to the sky and tells him with a straight face, “It's a meditation technique the mortals like to practice. It's called... Couple Harmony Meditation, haha, right, Couple Harmony Meditation.” The little dough replies in revelation, “How studious mortals are. They're also interested in meditation.” I laugh uneasily. Part 3 Just as I turn around, I slam into an iron chest. The strong smell of alcohol is all over his body. I use my hand to soothe my nose and step back. In front of me is an angry man holding a fan. He points the fan to me and says, “Young sir, how handsome you are. My royal self entirely admire you.” Cough, cough. So he's a royal playboy. I force myself to reply, “Not at all, sir” and drag the little dough downstairs. He turns to block my path. Quick as lightning he grabs my hand and swallow his saliva, “Your hand's so soft and fair.” I wasn't going to teach him a lesson but he already comes near me wanting to grab my waist. Well, this changes thing.
I’m normally a kind fairy, but since this mortal doesn’t have any relation to Qingqiu, my kindness can fortunately have a limit. I was about to cast a spell to shut him up and then throw him to a nearby forest for a few days when I feel that someone has pulled me tightly into his arms. It’s a very familiar feeling. I look up and happily greet him, “Haha, Yehua, you’ve come at the right time.” Yehua pulls me away. His black cape glistens in the lamp light. He smirks at the confused man, “Are you having fun teasing my wife?” The little dough swallows his mungbean cake, licks his mouth, and sincerely says to the man as he holds my hand, “You’ve got some talent to be able to anger my father. You’ll reap what you sowed. Be careful.” The man turns from embarrassment to anger, “Hmph, do you know who I am? Hmph…” He disappears before he could finish his words. I ask Yehua, “Where did you take him?” He gives me a quick glance as he turns toward the oil lamp and casually says, “There’s a thick forest nearby.” I’m caught wordless. Well, aren’t we soulmates? He continues to watch the oil lamp for some more moments and at last turns to look at me, “Why didn’t you leave when you got teased?” I say, “A little touch isn’t a big deal.” He casually bends down and casually plants a soft kiss on my lips. I stay shell shocked. He continues to casually shoot me a glance, “Then a little kiss shouldn’t be a big deal either?” Today, me, today… I have been disrespected by a snotty brat who’s 90 thousand years younger!!! The little dough covers his mouth and breaks out laughing. His laughter is so hearty he ends up choking on his mungbean cake. At night we take the little dough out to float lanterns on the river. Yehua gives me a lantern.
Humans ask the gods for wishes. But who should the gods ask in turn? Yehua chuckles and says, “They’re mere wishes. Just float it on the water and everything will come true.” I listen to him and unhurriedly walk over to where the little dough is, dropping the lantern on the water. Everything went rather well today. After the lantern floating, the little dough falls asleep in his father's arms. In his sleep he still talks about wanting to stay in the mortal realm overnight. So we stop by an inn to look for rooms. There are only three inns in this town and two are already full. There is one vacant room left at the third one. When we get to the second floor, Yehua pushes the door open and lays the little dough on the bed. Then he turns around and asks the server to bring up some washing water. My stomach growls and he adds, “Bring us two dishes as well.” The waiter seems really sleepy. He probably just wants to serve us quickly and go back to bed. So he’s uncommonly fast with bringing up our dinner, two stir-fried’s and a veggie dish. There’s a salty beef dish, a pecan dish, and a tofu with onion dish. A few bites in and I don’t want to continue. I’m not a picky eater to begin with. But because I’ve been eating Yehua’s cooking lately I’m now somewhat a food expert. I’ve been spoiled. Yehua is reading a book under the light, or maybe he’s reviewing reports. He lifts his head up, glances at me then at the food on the table, “If you’re done eating then wash up and go to bed.” It’s a normal room with a single bed. I look at the bed and hesitate. I finally sit down on it with my clothes still fully on. Yehua hasn’t mentioned how we’re going to divide this bed among the three of us… like it’s an inconsequential detail. I don’t want to ask now and make things more awkward. The little dough is sleeping soundly. I lightly push him further in and take a pillow to lie down next to him. Yehua is still going over reports under the light. In the middle of my sleep, I feel someone taking my hand. That person softly sighs as he says, “I’m well aware of your personality and yet I didn’t think you’d be so hard-hearted.
You really have wiped everything clean from your memory. A part of me wants you to remember but another part of me hopes you’ll never recall that past.” I pay little attention. Hazily, I turn around and wrap the little dough in my arms. I enter a sound sleep. Early next morning I wake up from bed. Yehua is still sitting in the same seat last night to read his reports. The only difference is that there’s no candlelight today. Did he pull an all-nighter? Or did he sleep a little and get up to read reports before I wake up? The little dough turns around from the table and invites me over, “Mom, this porridge is really good. I left some for you.” I pat his head and call him a good boy. After washing my face, I try a spoonful of the porridge. It tastes somewhat like the one Yehua usually makes. When I try to look to him for an answer, he keeps his head down while saying, “This inn’s food is a little hard to swallow. I borrowed their kitchen to make some porridge because I was afraid A Li wouldn’t be used to their food.” A Li hesitantly says, “When we were staying on Mount Junji, I couldn’t eat anything the East Sea princess made. So father had to cook in secret for me.” Yehua coughs softly. Thanks to that I get to share this food. I go back to my porridge and heartily consume it. Chapter 9 Ch 9 is mainly about Shaoxin’s son Yuanzheng. He got drunk at a party and ended up offending Lady Sujin. So Tianjun punished him to a lifetime on Earth. Shaoxin came to ask for Bai Qian’s help. Bai Qian ended up coming down to the mortal realm to make sure Yuanzheng gets through his human fate. I'll just cut out the non-OTP parts for these next 3 chapters. I myself didn't bother to read the things in between >_<
Part 3 May 1st. I rack my brain by the lamp-light as usual. By the 2nd hour, I convince myself it’s time to go to bed and open my eyes to blow the light out. As soon as my eyes open, I see Yehua holding a tea cup across from me. I doubt myself and decide I must be dreaming.
He takes a gulp of his tea and brightly smiles, “Qianqian, we haven’t seen each other in days. I miss you dearly. Do you miss me?” I fall from my chair onto the floor. He rests his cheek on his palm and says, “You’ve gone wild with happiness?” I ignore him and walk over to my bed. He holds out his hand to stop me and laughs, “Don’t sleep yet. I came to tell you something important. Do you know who’s been reborn to be Yuanzheng’s father here in the mortal realm?” Since he’s blocked my way, I’m complied to answer him, “Who then? Can't be more than the geezer old king himself, your grandfather?” He turns and sits on the edge of the bed to prevent me from lying down. He pats on the spot next to him. I give it some thought and sit down as well. He hands me a tea cup and says, “Stay awake, will you? It’s not my granddad, but almost. You might even know him.” I focus my mind and give his words a chance. “It’s Shaoyang Jun from from Donghuazi Estate.” Tea shoots out from my nose. I choke. Yuanzheng’s father in this lifetime turns out to be Donghua Dijun. He’s someone I know indeed. The red fox Fangjiu had an unrequited love for Donghua Dijun. She’s crushed on him for over 2000 years. Every time she got drunk she would ramble on and on about Donghua. I now know everything about him without wasting an effort in finding out. Fangjiu is my 2nd brother Bai Yi’s only daughter, my only niece. There can only be someone like Donghua Dijun who can make her get wasted like that. Zheyan’s good wine was all thrown away to quench her woe. I wonder why someone as righteous as Donghua Dijun was also punished to the mortal realm. What horrible crime did he commit? Yehua pulls the skirt of his robe up and chuckles, “Tianjun didn’t banish Donghua Dijun to Earth. He himself wanted to go. He said he wanted to carefully experience again all six of the mortal pains. That’s why I sneaked out to give you a warning. You can change Yuanzheng’s fate, but don’t try to mess with Donghua Dijun’s.”
Part 4 The wind starts to blow outside my window. The wind-chimes comes together to produce clanging sounds. I gloomily look out the window before coming back to bed. Yehua has started to remove his coat. I widen my eyes as I watch him. He grabs the pillow and asks me, “Which side do you want to sleep on?” I stare at the bed and reply, “How about I sleep on the floor?” He chuckles, “If I did have ill intentions, it wouldn’t matter whether you sleep on the bed or on the floor.” I wipe the sweats on my forehead and pull the blanket up, “What are you going on about? I was just afraid this bed is too small for you… haha… you sleep on the inside then. I like to sleep on the outside.” He grins and tells me, “Then can you turn off the light?” We end up sleeping together on the same bed, each taking up a side. I'm currently staying at a place called Zizhu'yuan. Like its name, there are many types of bamboo grown outside. It's very cool in the summer here, and even cooler at night. Not only do we share a bed, I have to share with him a blanket as well. Lying all the way at the edge with my back against him, my limbs are exposed to the coldness and I shiver in discomfort. Yehua's breathing is soft and long. He must be asleep already. There is a peach blossom scent lingering on his body. What a muddy situation to be in. I lie awake with my eyes sweeping around the room. The long night has just begun. He slightly stirs. I promptly move further out to the edge. Yehua's voice sounds behind my back, “Do you want me to hold you?” He doesn't say more and stirs again. I scoot over yet again as an automatic response. Wham… I find myself on the floor. He breaks into laughter and says, “There, you see? I was just thinking that if I don’t hold you, you’ll fall off the bed tonight. I was right after all.” Upset, I reply, “It’s because this bed is too small.”
He helps me back up and says, “You’re right. There are only enough space for four more people between us. It’s too small indeed.” I uneasily laugh. I'm still in dreadful discomfort when he turns me around to face him. I stare at him. He leisurely says, “I’ve just thought of something.” I hold my breath. “Qianqian, do you know Siyin Shenjun?” I startle and pull the blanket up to my face, “Ah, Master Moyuan’s 17 th student from Kunlun. I’ve heard of him but I haven’t met him yet. People say this Shenjun disappeared along with Master Moyuan 70,000 years ago after the Demon race wreaked havoc.” Yehua sighs, “I thought you would know more.” I yawn my reply, “Is there more to it?” He says, “When I became the Crown Prince, Tianjun often tells me I look somewhat like Master Moyuan.” I silently agree. It’s not just somewhat, but they can pass for twins. He continues, “I heard Demon King Lijing is still looking for Siyin Shenjun. The other day a fairy gave me a portrait of Siyin Shenjun, telling me it’s the very same person the Demon King wants.” My heart nearly jumps out of my chest. As I feared, he says, “Qianqian, at first glance I thought it was you in male disguise.” I laugh uneasily, “Really? Then there are two people in this world who look like me. Even though I don’t know Siyin Shenjun, Demon King Lijing’s queen was a family friend of ours. She's my sister-in-law’s younger sister. You should take a look at her one of these days. We look exactly alike.” “Is there such a thing? I can’t believe it.” I give him an “umm.” He smiles, “Are you exaggerating. Even if she grew up to look like you, I'm sure she doesn't have your felicity.”
I gaze up to the bed curtain and yawn without replying. I was the one without her felicity that year. Yehua falls fast asleep. He drowns into silence within half a tea cup time. He's a still sleeper, never sleep-talking or snoring. I force myself to stay awake for 2 more hours before finally giving up after midnight. During my shallow doze, it dawns on me there was something important I need to carefully think about, but at last I can't recall what it is. That night there seems to be a cold hand caressing over my eyes. Chapter 10 Yehua’s actions are surely not going to leave behind good karma for his descendants. We’re no longer in Qingqiu. I don’t have to miserably follow him on his strolls anymore so it’s perfectly reasonable for me to stay in bed for an extra hour. Why does he still wake me up? The skirt from yesterday isn’t so wrinkly. I’m also too lazy to change so I just sit up on my bed and cover my mouth as I yawn. Yehua seems awake and lively. He smoothly puts his robe on and sits in front of the mirror to tell me, “Good, come here to comb my hair and put it in a bun for me.” Surprised, I ask, “You’re talking to me?” He holds the wooden comb in his hair, “Migu says you’re pretty good at fixing hair.” Honestly I am good at styling hair. There isn’t any maid at the Fox Cave and 4 th brother doesn’t know anything about hair, so it all came down to me. Aside from the normal ones, I can also do other braiding styles when 4th brother wants to go visit Shi Li Tao Hua. Zheyan has always praised me each time he sees a new one. On the other hand, Yehua hasn’t bun his hair up ever since he came to stay at Qingqiu. He’s only tied it back with a short silk ribbon in the simplest way possible. He smiles and hands me the wooden comb. “I have to come see Tianjun today. It’s not good if I don’t dress properly.” Yehua has very beautiful hair, soft and shiny, long and black. I have an easy time combing it, but I ran into a little difficulty when I try to bun it. There’s only a jade hairpin and a jade headpiece on the vanity. After locking in his bun with the hairpin, I top it off with the headpiece. Hah, it’s been a while but my skills are still impressive. Yehua smiles to me through the bronze mirror.
I check and feel that this hairstyle has made him look even more handsome and regal so there isn’t anything else to fix. Satisfied, I place the comb back on the vanity. Yehua’s reflection still smiles within the mirror. My right hand which is placing the comb down is held back by him. He quietly says, “Before, you…” There’s something different in his eyes, vast and vague like ripples across a quiet pond. Don't tell me his ill thoughts are switched on at this moment. He unhurriedly pulls my sleeve up to reveal my unadorned wrist. He softly smiles and takes from his own sleeve a bracelet. I recognize that it’s a pearl bracelet to ward off evil. He stands up and tells me, “You should wear this bracelet for now. There shouldn’t be any grave danger in the mortal realm but life is hard to predict. It’s best to be cautious.” He softly touches my cheek and say, “I’m leaving.” The rest continues to be about Yuanzheng’s life on earth. We’ll pick up at the end of Ch 11 when Bai Qian leaves the mortal realm to go back to Qingqiu: Chapter 11 When I got to the entrance of Fox Cave, I tease Migu the moment I see him, “You must’ve been happy without me ordering you around for so long.” Migu only grins. But then he asks in a surprised tone, “Weren’t you here yesterday to take care of some business? Why are you speaking like you’ve just come back from the mortal realm?” I’m also surprised, “I was still in the mortal realm yesterday. I’ve only been back since now.” Migu’s face starts to blanch white. “Then the person who came back yesterday…” I tremble. There is only one person who can deceive Migu and disguise herself as me. I close my eyes. Xuan’nu.
Great. Just great. I haven’t given you trouble for the past 70,000 years but how dare you come to my home now. Chapter 12 Part 1 I take a deep breath and say, “It’s definitely Xuan’nu who came by yesterday.” Migu stares at me and bites his lips ‘til they are white. I find his appearance odd so I ask, “What else did she do?” Migu trembles and says, “Yesterday, yesterday she told me she found a way to preserve Master Moyuan’s corpse. She told me to bring him to her. I, I thought she was you so I went to Yanhua Cave and carried his body out. Then later, his young highness mistook her for you when he woke up from his nap. She took him away too.” My head starts to spin. I grab his shirt and say, “You said she took my teacher and A Li?” Somewhere within the air comes a loud thunder roar. Dark clouds start rolling in and a flash of lightning cuts across the sky. The hidden Yuqing Kunlun Fan emerges from the lake after 500 years of disuse. Its 7-meter length appears before my fiery eyes. I smirk, “I'm afraid you'll have to taste the bloody power of this fan today.” Migu calls to me from behind, “M’lady.” I turn back to him and say, “I’ll only dash over there right quick and bring back my teacher and the little dough. You don’t have to be scared witless like that. Ah, boil some water for me. I’ll want to take a bath when I come back.” I then cover my eyes with the white ribbon and summon a cloud. I head straight to Dasiming Palace. Xuan’nu sits comfortably on the throne. Attending to her are demon generals on two sides. She smilingly says, “Qianqian, I haven’t heard of your news in 70,000 thousand years. The other day His Majesty told me Siyin Shenjun is actually a female. I immediately thought of you. I was surprised myself when I met Siyin Shenjun on Kunlun. There shouldn't be anyone else who looks like me beside you.” I smirk and say, “My queen is good-humored. This isn’t your true look, now is it? My memory is still in great working condition. I still remember clearly your original form, but why have you forgotten it yourself? Ah, Master Zheyan from Shi Li Tao Hua is free
these days. If you forgot, I can always bother myself and invite him here to help you remember.” Her face changes from pink to white, then from white to blue. It looks quite becoming. Then she laughs and says, “Say what you want, I’ll be killing you today. Then there won’t be anyone who has my face in this world. Ever since I took Moyuan’s body and your son away, I knew you would come here looking for me. I knew without the soul pearl, you’d still be able to preserve Moyuan’s body. Like I thought, you didn’t disappoint me. I’m sorry I haven’t found him sooner. How happy I am to know my son will occupy such a good body. Qianqian, since you’ve done well I’ll tell them to give you an easy death.” As she finishes her words, her throne retreats back and the demons come forward. I coldly smirk, “With your talents?” I use my fan and start to take them down. From noon to dusk, I manage to get rid all but two or three demons. I was stabbed once on my back, but the most worrisome thing is that my silk ribbon has been knocked off. Xuan'nu suddenly raises a shiny pearl, making my eyes twinge in pain. When I jerk around, a sword has stabbed my chest. I fan the sword back toward the demon and before he can react, his head has already fallen. Xuan'nu raises the pearl high and stammers, “Don't... don't come over here. I'll destroy Moyuan and your son if you do.” Behind her appears two coffins. The large one contains Moyuan, the smaller one contains the little dough. I pause and try to support my furor, “What did you do to A Li?” Although she is still trembling, she has regained much of her calm. She leans on the coffin and says, “He's in a deep sleep now. But if you come over it'll be hard for me to keep it that way.” I stare at her, my eyes twitching. “Remove the blade from your chest and give me your fan.” I use the fan to support myself as I walk to her, not caring to reply. “I said don't come over here. I'll stab your son if you do.” Smirking I say, “I didn't think about returning when I came here, so go ahead. Kill him, and I'll kill you to avenge his death. I waited for Moyuan for 70000 years but he still doesn't come back. What's the meaning of living anymore? If I wasn't worried about leaving A Li behind, I would've soon followed Moyuan already. Birth and death are something none of us can avoid.” She starts to blurt maddeningly, “You've gone mad. You've gone mad.”
I wipe away the blood on my eyes and feel that I'm indeed a little crazy. But I'm still not totally insane. She insulted my teacher and hurt my closed ones. How am I supposed to swallow this offense? I let her go on her incessant talks as I pool enough energy into the Kunlun fan. Before she has enough time to react, a bright beam tears through the air from my hand. Someone suddenly blazes by Xuan'nu and casts the beam back to me. Horrified, Xuan'nu grabs onto that person's sleeve and shakily calls out, “Your Majesty.” The fast flying Kunlun fan came back to me at an even quicker speed. I have no ability to block it so I close my eyes and await my impending death. To my surprise, just as I blink, someone has pulled me to the side in a split of a second. Part 2 I turn to see that the one who’s holding me is Yehua. Yehua, Yehua, you should’ve come sooner so I wouldn’t be this beaten up. Yehua’s face is green with fear. His cold eyes have angry flames. His body is stiff. He touches my bloody cheeks and says, “Qianqian, who injured you?” I tremble as I speak, “The ones who hurt me have all been killed. I was about to slay the last one but her husband appeared out of nowhere and stopped me. Loosen your hold a little, I’m hurting everywhere.” Lijing who is holding Xuan’nu across from us now lifts his head up and calls out in shock, “A Yin.” Xuan’nu trembles in Lijing’s arms. Her eyes stay fixed on us as she says with confusion and fear, “Master Moyuan.” She probably mistakes Yehua for Moyuan. I reluctantly reply Lijing, “I didn’t think we’d meet again so soon. That was some skill you have there. I almost lost my life to that one move of yours.” He pushes Xuan’nu aside and quickly comes before me. But Yehua’s energy strike stops him from coming further. I have to give it to him for being able to recognize me in this bloody state. Lijing’s expression is even graver than my own. It’s been drained of all color. He says with fear, “A Yin, Your Highness the Crown Prince, what has happened?” Yehua lowers his voice, “Demon king, I also want to ask what exactly is going on in this Dasiming Palace of yours.”
I tilt my head to look at Yehua, “You asked the wrong person. It was Queen Xuan’nu who kidnapped my teacher and your son. You should ask his queen. Ah, the little dough is currently fine though. You don’t have to worry too much.” Yehua gently says, “He’s also your son.” Stepson is also son I guess, so I reluctantly say, “Yes, he’s also my son.” Lijing asks surprisingly, “Son?” I nod my head. His eyes become dark as he utters, “You… you,” After a long time he still can’t say anything. He looks to Xuan’nu. Yehua also looks to Xuan’nu. I follow them and turn to look at her as well. When she sees Lijing looking at her, her eyes overcome with madness, “Your majesty, our son can finally come back. Look, I’ve found him an excellent body. If I had known sooner that Moyuan’s body will be useful for our son, you should’ve given Bai Qian the soul pearl when she showed up to Dasiming Palace to borrow it. Ah, but how unbelievable. She could still keep Moyuan’s body so well without the pearl. Your Majesty, you were jealous of Moyuan back then but you can’t anymore. He’ll be our son from now on…” Lijing shouts loudly, “Shut up.” Xuan’nu doesn’t seem to understand and continues, “Your Majesty, did I say anything wrong? You didn’t want to give the soul pearl to Bai Qian because you were jealous of Moyuan. But he’s going to be our son now. Ah, you still don’t know who Bai Qian is. Bai Qian of Qingqiu is actually Siyin Shenjun from the past.” Yehua’s arms tremble slightly. I leave his embrace and support myself with the Kunlun fan. “Xuan’nu, try insulting my teacher one more time. My teacher’s precious body was kept alive with my blood for over 70,000 years. Your son doesn’t have that honor.” Lijing turns around. With his blood-shot eyes, he comes before me, “Your blood, did you just say…” I step back and scream, “Did you not know? That your soul pearl wasn’t the only way to save my teacher? You heard what Xuan’nu said. Bai Qian of Qingqiu is actually a ninetailed white fox. You can ask your queen what the blood of a nine-tailed white fox can be used for.” I point to my chest where it got stabbed by the demon and woefully laugh, “My teacher’s body was so injured that I had to use a bowl of blood for three whole months. I was also gravely injured so I knew I wouldn’t last all three months if I draw my blood out each day like that. Thus I thought of our old friendship and put on a thick face to borrow your soul pearl. And what did you say to me then, Lijing?”
His voice becomes hoarse, “A Yin, I didn’t know you were injured. A Yin, I didn’t know, A Yin…” I wipe the falling tears on my eyes and point to Moyuan’s coffin, “Do you know why I had to painfully take a bowl of blood from my heart each night for three whole months? If anyone still calls me a good god, it’s because of my filial action towards my teacher. He was always protecting me during those two thousand years. If I didn’t repay him, it would be a waste to call me a god. I actually didn’t have enough strength myself. Only after seven days I was already unconscious. If my mother hadn't found me and given me half of her life, Siyin Shenjun would really be gone as history recorded. I don’t want to make enemies out of you because the Heaven and Demon kingdoms have only recently achieved a hard-fought truce. Do you think I’m afraid of you?” Lijing’s expression becomes woeful. I cough a couple of times and Yehua quickly drapes me with his coat. I was busy recounting the past with Lijing so I didn’t notice that Yehua has saved Moyuan and the little dough from the coffins. They are now floating inside an energy barrier. Looking at the two of them side by side, he and Moyuan really do look alike, from their hair to their clothes. Beside Moyuan’s paler face, everything about them is the same. Lijing still stands there quietly looking at me. After a long while, he finally says, “A Yin, it’s not that like. After you left I spent so long looking for you. I’ve never stopped looking for you these past 70,000 years. A Yin, Xuan’nu is right. I didn’t give you the soul pearl because I knew you’d use it to save your teacher. I was jealous of him. A Yin, truthfully I’ve never forgotten my love for you.” His words “never forgotten” catch me in surprise. “Lijing, it’s not that you haven’t forgotten your love for me. It’s that you’re someone who chases after things you don’t have or have forever lost. Once you attain it, you won’t cherish it anymore.” His eyes well up with water. After a long while, he wipes his tears and says, “You’re only saying this to unload your own guilt. You’ve never loved me, am I right? That’s why you could let go so easily when I was with Xuan’nu. You were already tired of me, am I right?” The boiling blood I tried hard to suppress comes rushing back up. I grit my teeth, “So you wanted both of us to marry you? Then what about me? You keep saying you felt the need to protect Xuan’nu because she was a girl. But even though I was male, I was also hurt by the two of you. I was drowned in nightmares each night. Where were you then? What were you and Xuan’nu doing?” The color on Lijing’s face drains away.
I lean on Yehua with heavy breathing. Yehua coldly smiles, “Let’s not hurry on old matters. Should we separate today’s deeds as personal or add them up altogether as official matters?” Xuan’nu trembles before Lijing can answer, “Personal or official?” Yehua lowers his voice, “If we resolve this as a personal matter, please have your Queen skinned and cut off her tendons. Throw her down to reincarnate as an animal, never to come back as a human so I can relieve my anger. If we resolve this as a public matter, I’ll let our armies test out their skills for once. It’s been too many years since we’ve used the things we learn in training.” Xuan’nu cries and holds onto Lijing’s leg. She faces up to him and says, “Your Majesty, save me.” Lijing looks at her and says, “How ignorant you are.” Xuan’nu recounts, “So you really want to cut off my tendons and skin me? Did you forget? Did you forget the things I did for you? Without me, how could you so easily sit on the Demon King’s throne? But now you want to, now you want to…” Then she pleads, “Your Majesty, he’s only the Crown Prince. The Heaven Kingdom won’t agree with his decision to declare war for a woman.” Yehua shifts position and holds me, “I’m not declaring war for a woman. Master Moyuan is a highly revered God from our race. Divine Bai Qian is our future queen. A Li is my future heir. Yet your people have insulted the three of them greatly. Do you think Heaven’s warriors will stand by and take this insult?” Lijing ignores Xuan’nu who is holding onto his leg. He tiredly says, “Xuan’nu hasn’t ever been clear-minded. She wouldn’t have committed such a grave crime otherwise. Your Highness, please let her live.” Yehua softly says, “Qianqian, tell me. Do you want to let her live?” I was in so much pain I couldn’t talk. I only shake my head a few times. Xuan’nu laughs, “Lord Yehua, you treat Bai Qian so well. But did you know she had a relationship with her teacher?” I become so angered I want to give her a few slaps. But Yehua already shoots a beam toward her direction. Without Lijing’s protection, she’s pushed ten meters back and hit the feet of the throne, coughing out blood. Yehua says, “I hadn’t wanted to injure a woman. Qianqian says your face resembles hers. But I can’t see a resemblance anywhere.”
I push Yehua aside and drag myself before Xuan’nu. I closely watch her bloody face which looks exactly like mine and smirk, “This inconsequential thing… I gave it to you without much thought. But I’m not too pleased right now to see such an appearance on that face of yours.” Frightened, she backs away and says, “What nonsense are you saying? I’ve always been this way. You can’t touch my face. I’m not afraid even if you invite Zheyan to come…” Surprised, I laugh as I draw up the spell with my right hand, “There’s no need to invite Zheyan. I was only joking with you. You think only one person in this whole world knows this face-changing spell? I know I’m not very talented but I’ve learned a bit during 70,000 years. I want to skin you, but I can’t do that when you’re still wearing my face.” At the end of my speech, I use all my force to push the spell from my hand. A white glow flashes off. Xuan’nu looks at me dazedly. I bend down and pat her face. I gave her a mirror taken from my sleeve and tell her with a friendly voice, “Take a look. This face of yours is pretty nice too, don’t you think? This is your true face, remember it carefully.” Standing nearby, Lijing mumbles, “Why is it like this? Why is it like this?” Xuan’nu suddenly screams. As I turn around, I see her digging her own two eyes out, crying madly, “No, no, no, I wasn’t born this way. I’ve never been born with these looks.” Her bloody face is actually frightening. Lijing still stands there in horror. I shake my head and sigh, “How ignorant. Your ability to accept the truth is also awful.” I turn and say to Yehua, “In my opinion she didn't look that bad originally.” Blood spills from the corner of my mouth. Yehua holds me with sorrowful eyes and tells Lijing, “Demon king, do what you need to do.” Then he whispers in my ears, “Qianqian, are you okay?” I think about it and shake my head. Before my eyes is a vast whiteness as I fall into unconsciousness. Chapter 13 Part 1 Yesterday I fell out of consciousness at the wrong time so I didn't get to see Yehua taking the three out us away. But it should be an easy task for someone with his capability.
Migu has always been smart thus I'm sure he already took Moyuan back to Yanhua Cave. But I don't know whether he placed Teacher in the same position he has always slept or not. I feel a little worried so I lift the blanket away wanting to go check. At the slight movement, my chest wound starts hurting again. I grit my teeth and breathe in deeply. Something tugs on my blanket at the sound of my breath. I startle and open my eyes to look. Right before me are two flaming eyes. The owner of those eyes are sitting by my bedside. He changes his sad appearance into a cheerful one. I'm completely stunned. And I have a reason for it.
Normally in scripts I've seen in the mortal realm, when a damsel in distress wakes up from her faint, the first person she sees should be the hero. This would be the perfect timing for Yehua to appear. Instead, where did this minor character come from? The man looks at me and at length says, “How are you feeling?” “My spirit is much better after sleeping. I think I've mostly recovered.” I lied of course. But it's because the man in front of me is a little hard to deal with. If I act like a weakling, he'll try to harm me – if not gravely then at least a little, while I'm injured. That wouldn't be good now would it be. When Zheyan went hunting in Xishan, he brought back Bifang and gave him to my 4 th brother. Bifang became 4th brother's riding bird and all of us developed friendly relationships. He used to let me ride on him to Shi Li Tao Hua a few times. But then for some unknown reasons he stopped taking me. After 1000 years I finally found out the explanation. Basically he likes Fangjiu. But Fangjiu only followed me whenever she came to visit thus he developed a dislike for me. Although his jealousy was totally unreasonable, I didn't care to mind. On the other hand, he was extremely unrelenting. It was as if he couldn't live anymore if he didn't pick a fight with me everyday. I even celebrated when he ran away. Although the sunlight isn't harsh, with the window wide open my weak eyes start hurting. Bifang quickly paces over and says, “I'll close the window.” I almost jump in shock with this rare display of concern from him.
He turns around and smooths out my blanket for me after closing the window. Then he asks if I want anything to drink. Even Migu isn't this thoughtful. I'm actually kind of thirsty, but I'm suspicious of Bifang's actions. When he busies himself with the tea, I suddenly comes to realization. “Fourth brother? You're 4th brother aren't you? Are you teasing me by turning into Bifang? You got his looks down perfectly, but you got his personality all wrong. You know Bifang would never treat me with such gentleness.” The tea-pouring silhouette pauses a little. He turns around with an odd expression and says, “This isn't a charade. I'm really Bifang. Master Zheyan and His Highness have to go to the West Sea for something. I didn't feel like staying at the peach orchard alone so I came back to steal a look at you.” I was stunned into silence before I burst into laughter, “Haha, don't mind what I said then.” I sneeze. He goes over to my bed, “Qianqian, when will you stop pretending to be ignorant? You know well that you're the only one I think about in the entire kingdom of Qingqiu. Why do you insist on upsetting me?” My head hurts. They say birds are the most loyal animal. It's fine if they don't fall in love, but once they do they never part until they die. Bifang should be in love with my niece and keep his heart that way. Since when did it change to me? He continues, “I had no other way but to bury my love because you were engaged to the Crown Prince of Heaven. But he couldn't even protect you properly this time. I also heard he has a mistress in the Heaven Palace. I've been thinking over this carefully these past few days. With his amorous nature, I can't give you to him without worries. I...” He hasn't finished when the door creaks open. Yehua stands by the door with blanched face. In his hand is still a steaming bowl of medicine. When did “Dying to Repay Teacher's Kindness” turn into “Romance of the Wind and Moon”? What a remarkable play this has become. Part 2 Bifang gives Yehua a glance full of appraisal and doesn't say another word.
Yehua places the medicine on the table and sat there as well since Bifang is already standing by my bed. He also doesn't say anything, sitting there coldly. The room momentarily goes hush. Bifang said he hid his feelings because of my betrothal with Yehua. Well he's quite good with hiding his feelings then, because I couldn't tell a thing for these entire 1000 years. I feel I shouldn't hurt Bifang even though I'll be rejecting him so I stammer my words, “Well... I'm betrothed to the Heaven family afterall. Haha... you and I... are fated but not destined. I'm really happy that you love me. But no matter what, we should keep our promises to others.” Bifang's eyes light up, “If you can be with me, I'll offend the Heaven family if I have to.” Yehua's awful frown isn't completely without its reasons. I understand as a wife-to-be, it's ridiculous to be talking about romance with another man right in front of him. But Bifang and I are innocent. It's his own fault to come in at the wrong time. I can't just stop receiving Bifang just because he came in without asking. On top of that Bifang and I are old friends to begin with. After thinking carefully, I tell Yehua, “Can you step outside for a moment?” He ignores me and lowers his head to stare at the ink-black medicine bowl. Bifang nears me and gently says, “You only have to say if you want to be with me or not.” I can't believe he's brave enough to do this in front of Yehua. I awkwardly say, “You know I care about righteousness and propriety. I wouldn't do a thing to hurt either Qingqiu or the Heaven lineage. I'm grateful for your affection but we're not meant to be. It isn't wise for you to keep me in your heart. You should just erase it all. But I'll never forget your feelings for me now that I finally know about them.” I think I spoke rather well. The way I worded my answer helped them both keep their pride. Bifang's expression turns dishearten as he looks at me. He straightens the blanket for me and turns to leave the room. Yehua is still sitting by the table. His face is unclear behind the steam from the medicine bowl. I still remember that I have to go to Yanhua Cave but it's difficult to do so with Yehua sitting in my room. I contemplate on what excuse I should use to get him to leave. After some time I breathe out faintly and say, “Can you bring me my medicine? I'm suddenly tired and I want to sleep after drinking it. You can go ahead and attend to your business.”
He tells me yes and brings the medicine over. I don't know how many herbs are in there but it's horribly bitter. It must be a good medicine then. Yehua places the empty bowl on the chair nearby but he doesn't leave. He turns his head and asks, “You know, you've always said you're tired whenever you don't want to see me. Are you really tired now?” It really is an excuse I often use, but I don't always use it. I just couldn't find a better excuse this time. I was still thinking when he slinks his arms around my waist. I've already turned back into my fox form because of my injuries. How does he know where a fox waist is? His voice is both soft and slow, “Qian'qian.” I “umm” to him. He hugs me tightly without saying a word. Finally after a long while he says, “Those words you said were all from your heart?” I'm about to pass out now. I said those things to Bifang; it has nothing to do with him. It should be Bifang who asks me if my words are heartfelt. There seems to be a smile blooming on his face but I'm not sure what thoughts are behind it, “These past few days when the little dough and I come to stay at Qingqiu, you always make me tea and play chess with me. Is it because of our betrothal? If the betrothal is with someone else, then you'd...” He hugs me tighter and sighs. I force myself to laugh and say, “I didn't do those things just because we're betrothed.” His body stiffens as he raises his head to look at me. His eyes seem to gleam. I feel conscious under his scrutinizing eyes so I clear my throat a few times and say, “When you were at Fox Cave, you still cooked our meals even though you were busy with your work. I'm forever touched and will never forget any of it. You gave me a peach, I'll give you back a plum. Or if not a plum, then a rose myrtle fruit. It doesn't matter who is betrothed to me. If he doesn't treat me the way you treated me, then I'd never have the patience to drink tea and play chess with him.” Suddenly he ruefully sighs and buries his head on my shoulder, “I've never made food for anyone else. I only cook for only you.” I use my paw to gently pat his back and say, “Your cooking is amazing. You should use some of your time to cook for your parents and grandfather to show your filialness.”
He pays little attention to what I say and continues, “I also didn't do any of that because of our betrothal. I didn't come to Qingqiu because A Li misses you either.” I express understanding on my part, “Ah, so going into the kitchen is a hobby of yours? What a useful hobby it is.” He still holds me tight and ignores everything I say, “I love you, Qianqian.” The sky falling down couldn't have shocked me more. I used to think my love life is like an ancient tree. Even after a million years until eternity it would never bloom. Yet remarkably this ancient tree is now flowering. On top of that it's not a normal flower; it's a Kingly one. Part 3 Yehua lifts his head to look at me questioningly, “What... do you say to that?” I have no idea what to say in my bewilderment so I breathe in deeply and reply, “Hey, this isn't the time to joke around.” He coldly smiles, “I can't find any better time to say this. There doesn't need to be love for a marriage to last. But I still hope there will be genuine affections between the two of us for the rest of our lives.” “You should be with someone closer to your age. You should let go of your feelings for me before it becomes too deep. When you get to my age, you'll know that love means nothing. I still don't think it's fair for you that we're getting married merely because Tianjun sent down a decree. But don't be too down, I'll find you a few pretty mistresses after we're married.” However, he doesn't look the slightest happy as I have thought. He intently looks at me with an aghast face, “These are your true feelings?” I put a serious expression on and say, “Yes, it's more genuine than gold.” I thought he wanted to mention the mistress issue and wanted to solicit a promise from me. But as soon as I said those words, his already blanched face became ever paler. “I'll still say the same thing until the end of time. We'll just maintain a pure marriage. Honestly having attachments between spouses isn't necessarily a good thing. What if one day you want to get a mistress? Just because things are good for now doesn't mean it'll stay that way. You need to be farsighted and think about the future. Haizz, you don't have to understand what I'm saying now. But you'll thank me one day when you fall for someone and want to take her back to Sawu Palace.”
He stays in silence for a short while then slowly says, “You intentionally say this to make me feel uncomfortable didn't you?” An alarm goes off within me. He's too infatuated with me right now. It's true that I say them with good intentions, but perhaps it's a little early to say so at this point. I stay quiet and only look at him, not knowing how to comfort him best. It's better to talk about this stuff later. He holds me tightly within his chest and says with a hoarse voice, “I love only you and no one else.” He pauses and then whispers something which I can't hear. Haizz, he's breaking my heart. What a hopeless lovesick child. Yehua slowly loosen his embrace but he doesn't go right away. He only lays me down and straightens the four corners of the blanket. I know I'm injured, but I'm not so weak that I can't lie down on my own. But seeing the sad look on his face, I let him care for me as he wishes. After fixing the blanket, he brings the empty medicine bowl to the table and bring back a teacup. He sits by my bed and says, “A Li is slightly frightened but he's not hurt. I've taken him back to Heaven and he should be fine after a few days of rest. I wanted to bring you to Heaven too. There's a hot spring at Lingbao Tiansun's place that's perfect for you.” Then he furrows his brows, “But then that damn Bifang stopped me. But you only have to tell him and I'm sure he won't say anything else. You should rest now. We'll leave for Heaven tomorrow morning.” I still want to sneak out to Yanhua Cave to take a look at Moyuan. After debating in my head, I slowly ask, “Don't you have to go over reports today?” “There's nothing urgent today. Now that you remind me, I'll sit here with you a bit longer.” The corner of my mouth starts to frown. He's never come up with such an excuse. He politely smile, “Why, you aren't tired anymore?” I disappointed say through my teeth, “No...” Yehua isn't acting like himself today. Ever since he started staying at Qingqiu, half of his time was spent reading reports in the study, even during his most leisure days. His feet never even touched the ground, that was how busy he was. The official Jiajun surely won't let him stay so leisurely for more than one day, even if we've ran into a big problem this time. Those reports should be pouring down from the
sky. With yesterday and today's reports stacking up like that, poor Yehua won't be able to sleep tonight. I think it over and decide he's not trying to upset me by sitting here by my bed. He must be wanting to take a little break. So I pretend to be asleep and wait for him to leave before I can turn back into my human form and go to Yanhua Cave. But unlike my calculation, I start to doze off in just half a tea cup time. As I drift in and out of my sleep, I dream of a dream. This dream has never visited me for the past many thousand years, but it's finally come today. I dream of Moyuan. Chapter 15 Part 1 The sun is leaning to the west when I woke up from my long dream. It is now about the 3rd or 4th hour. I feel like I’ve lived through another 70,000 years from that dream, and I have somehow unfairly aged a bit more. Yehua’s no longer in the room. I sadly look up to the curtain and carefully roll myself from the bed down while trying to avoid the injury on my chest. Yanhua Cave is covered in a veil of fog. The blurry image of Moyuan appears within the thick air. I change myself back into my human form and walk over to him step by step. I’ve worried excessively. Migu has arranged Moyuan’s body with care. Even his tangled hair is now brushed and tied back neatly. My own particular eyes can’t pick out anything wrong. Only this place feels a little cold. I sit down next to him for a while. His pair of eyes that hasn’t opened in 70,000 years, his straight tall nose, the faint smile on his mouth. However that same handsome face is now frozen forever. I haven't a chance to see him smile in these 70,000 years. All I can remember now is the image of him standing among crimson peach blossoms in the back of Mount Kunlun.
The cave is so very still. I feel cold after sitting for so long, so I spread my arms and hug him. The chill gets even chillier. I leave the cave to pick some wild flowers and place them next to him. That way there is finally some liveliness in this cave. After some time of sitting around, I then realize the flowers will be blooming in the next few days. I’ll be able to weave some bamboo branches together to make a flower curtain for the cave entrance. Moyuan will feel more comfortable with flower fragrance in here. I become happier at this thought. The sky is getting darker so I hastily bow to him twice and descend the mountain after looking around the cave for one last time. I’m not sure myself who tended to my wound while I was unconscious. There are only three people, Yehua, Migu, and Bifang. No matter who it was, they wouldn’t wash me since I’m a female. I was preoccupied with going to Yanhua Cave but now that I am free, I do feel a little dirty. There’s a small silver lake on the side of Fangyi mountain. It’s certainly not Lingbao Tiansun's Wangtian Stream, but it should still be better than a normal bathtub. I at once change direction and go toward the lake once I made up the decision in my head. I take off my outer coat and form a protective barrier around my wound. The lake’s water is actually melted snow accumulated year after year. The water is freezingly cold even though it is now the beginning of summer. My teeth are clattering together so much that I have splash some water on me first before I can continue to dive under. When I get to deeper water, my undergarments all cling to my body uncomfortably. Within the clear blue water shines rosy silk and white fabrics. Pink and blue hues twinkle around so very prettily. I think to myself that there shouldn’t be anyone strolling around the lake at this time, and wonder if I should just take off the underskirt or not. I still haven’t decided when I hear a loud shout, “Bai Qian!” I startle at the sound of my full name being called. It’s a familiar voice, but this is the first time he’s called me by my full name. I have had to try so very hard to stand still in the middle of the lake. Now that I’m frightened, I falter and proceed to fall into the water. Instantly Yehua glides over the lake surface and catch me. With just an embrace, I’m totally enveloped within his large body. He hugs me so tightly that I nearly cough up blood from my injury. In his haste he failed to form a protective barrier and now he’s also sopping wet. His long black hair clings to my face.
I’ve never been this close to him. He holds me so tightly I can’t see his expression at all. His heartbeats thrum rapidly by my ears. I only know at this point not taking off my underskirt was a wise non-action. I'm just about to praise myself when my lips are suddenly taken. Frightened, I thoughtlessly open my mouth and immediately his tongue invades inside. I stare at him wide-eyed but being so closed, I can only see his own pair of midnight eyes. Even though we continue to stare at each other, he doesn't forget to use his “mouth kungfu,” biting and nibbling fiercely. My lips, my tongue, they all feel drowned, and there seems to be the taste of salty blood in my mouth. There's something lodged within my throat. Tears well up in my eyes as I try to think of where I have tasted this before. He softly nibbles my lip and dazedly says, “Qianqian, close your eyes.” His voice goes straight to my head and jolts me awake. I quickly shove him away. Immediately I lose my balance and wobble out of his grasp. He grabs me back and avoids my injury this time. Before I can say anything, he already lays his head on my shoulder and hoarsely says, “I thought you wanted to jump into the lake...” I don’t immediately know what to say, but I consider what he thought so very amusing, thus I laugh and say, “I only came here to wash myself.” He hugs me tighter. His lips burning by my face, he says with heavy breathings, “I thought you were…” A sentence with neither a beginning nor an end. I don’t think standing here forever is a good idea so I call out his name. He remains silent. I feel entirely embarrassed but I try my best to change to a safer topic, “Weren’t you busy with those reports in your study. How come you came out here?” His breathing finally stabilizes. With sadness, he says, “Migu brought you dinner but you weren’t there. He notified me and I went looking for you.” I pat his shoulder and say, “Oh, it’s dinner time. Let’s go back then.” He says nothing more and continues to embrace me in the water. I don't have the slightest idea what's on his mind.
According to those who are experienced, lovesick people usually aren’t very sound. It’s best that I don’t bother him and let him continue to hug me. At length I sneeze again. My sneeze reminds Yehua that I’m still injured and shouldn’t be in the cold water for too long. He quickly flies me back to the shore and helps me dry my clothes. That kiss in the lake only proves I'm still entirely naïve. I only remember there was something in me that suddenly rose passionately without form or figure. I couldn't catch it even if I wanted to. In the blink of an eye, it was gone. Yehua walks ahead as I follow behind. The rush of wind and chirps of insects surround us on the way back. Because my mind is preoccupied, I slam right into Yehua not realizing he has stopped. He moves over and causes my head to slip to the side. I cringe my nose and take over the lead. Inside the small pavilion on the bottom of Fengyi Mountain is the unwanted smiling face of Zheyan. It's already June but he holds a fan in his hand without spreading it open. He merely looks at us intently while wrapping his hand around 4th brother’s shoulder. 4th brother flutters his eyes while chewing on a straw of grass. He lazily lifts his eyelids when he sees me, “Little 5th, did you have some to drink? How come your cheeks are bright red?” I ignore him and have no intention of wanting to know why he said what he said. But next to me Yehua was quietly coughing a few times. Zheyan’s dark eyes sweep around as he gently fan himself in a knowing way, “Tonight will be a breezy moonlit night. Spring flowers are also blooming. It’s a great opportunity for romancing.” I awkwardly laugh and glance at Yehua. The corner of his mouth curls a little. His eyes twinkle behind the black hair. Part 2 I'm sure Zheyan and 4th brother didn't come back to Qingqiu just to banter about the weather with me. Bifang definitely sent them a letter telling them how I was beaten half to death. They probably thought it a good opportunity to see my wretchedness so they rushed back with zeal. I tell them, “I'm sorry you gentlemen didn't get to see me that last time I was on the verge of dying. I'll have to disappointed you again as my injury isn't nearly as bad this time.”
Zheyan breaks out laughing and hands me his fan. “If we hadn't put in some effort, how could we have seen you in anger like this. Here, I had to ask the West Sea's eldest prince to paint on this fan for me. It's yours now.” I happily take it, but still grunted a pretended “hmph.” As we go back to the Fox Cave, Zheyan and 4th brother walk all the way in the front while Yehua and I follow behind. Yehua intentionally lowers his voice and sounds surprised, “It’s hard to believe you can get upset over a small joke like that. Master Zheyan sure has some talent up his sleeve.” I chuckle and reply, “It’s got nothing to do with talent. We see each other all the time so it’s fine to get upset once in a while. If it was some other young brat, I wouldn’t care in the first place.” “I wish you would care enough to get upset with me sometimes.” I was about to yawn, but then I close my mouth. Migu is waiting for us outside the cave entrance. It's already past the hour of the dog, when everyone should already be in bed. I feel bad that he had to wait up for us. We haven't near the door when he comes before us and bows down to me. With a grey expression, he says, “Demon King Lijing wants to see you. He's waited for a long time.” Yehua knit his brow, “What more does he want?” Zheyan holds back 4th brother who was about to take off and laughs, “They say you won't get to see the Buddha if you arrive too early. It seems our timing is great today as we will get to see quite a scene.” I enter the cave without stopping once. I only tell Migu one thing, “Tell him to leave.” Migu trembles and quickly says, “Lady, he's only waiting outside the entrance, he hasn't come in yet.” I nod, “Then ignore him.” Zheyan is sorely disappointed as he protests, “You shouldn't prolong this anymore. Peace is not as effective as violence. Why don't we give him an ending tonight?” Yehua coldly glares at him. I place my chin on my palm and ponder it over. At last I reply, “He and I don't need to end things once more. What needed to end has already ended.”
Early next morning Yehua comes and knocks on my door to hurry me for our trip to Heaven. I've lived for so long and has been to so many places but I haven't ever gone to Jiuchongtian. Thanks to Yehua, I'm somewhat excited at the chance to go this time. No matter if we go by foot or by cloud, there is only one path to Qingqiu's entrance. Yehua likes to to have his daily walks so I let him walk this morning too. The gate is where the mortal realm and the fairy land meet. On one side is cloudy fairy energy while the other is filled with mortal uncertainties. Both entwines around each other to create a thick mist. Within the thick fog, I perceive a tall person wearing a long silver robe. His handsome face carries immeasurable reminiscence. Lijing. He seems stunned when he sees me. “A Yin, I still thought you'll never see me again.” I also stand there paralyzed, not believing that he'd still be waiting here. He waited for me for half a month on the foot of Mt. Kunlun because he was a leisure prince at the time. But things have changed and he's now a king of an entire race. I can't believe he still has this merry luxury. Yehua calmly stands beside me. With a glance, he says coolly, “Master Zheyan was right. What needs to be ended should end early. This isn’t something you can finish yourself. Both sides have to cut ties at the same time for it to end neatly.” I smile and reply, “Should I learn this subject? You seem full of experience yourself.” He stands numbly. For some reason his face starts to turn pale. I take a seat on one of the stone chairs outside the gate. Yehua shows himself to be considerate and says to me, “I’ll step out there to wait for you.” In some short moments he is already gone. Lijing steps two steps toward me and forces a smile on his face, “I can be at ease now that I see you. Are your injuries very bad?” I wave my hand and say, “I’m sorry I’ve worried you. Such small injuries can’t harm my strong body.” He sighs in relief and says, “Then that’s good, that’s very good.” Then he takes from his sleeve a small object and brings it to my face. I glance and saw a small pearl sparkling in emerald light. It’s the soul pearl I couldn’t borrow that year. I gently flap the fan in my hand and lift my head to him, “What’s your meaning of this?”
“A Yin, that year I thought wrong, and I ended up doing wrong too. The more I went on the more wrong I was. Take this soul pearl and place it in Master Moyuan’s mouth. You won’t need to use your blood each month anymore.” “Thank you for your kind thought but my teacher hasn’t needed my blood for over 500 years. You should take your holy pearl back.” He hoarsely says, “A Yin, can’t we turn back?” Dark clouds hang everywhere above us. His voice seems to have been caught within those clouds; I can’t hear it too clearly. Part 3 I take a short breath and spread my fan. I gently touch the painted peach blossoms on it and say, “This conversation between the two of us won’t happen again in the future. So let us be clear of everything now. Seventy thousand years ago, you were my first love. Of course I wasn’t experienced but what I felt was genuine. My mother has always worried I wouldn’t be loved because of my strange personality. She thought it would be hard to marry me off without our family background. But you loved me without knowing my background or even my true identity. You even chased away your mistresses because of your feelings me. I was both happy and grateful. We white foxes mate for life. I actually treated you like my husband already. I was going to become your wife once I graduated from school if not for that Xuan’nu incident. You know our two kingdoms were in conflict at the time. But I didn’t even think about the difficulty of convincing my parents to let us marry. All I thought about was the day we would become spouses. How stupid I was.” Lijing’s lips quiver slightly. I continue to stroke the fan and casually say, “Everything that Xuan’nu could do to help you, I, Bai Qian of Qingqiu of course can also do. You keep saying I let go so easily but you don’t know how much pain there was behind that ease. Lijing, not everyone can let his pain show on his face. Just because you don't see it, you shouldn't say it was a lesser pain. I’ve always dreamed I would one day become your wife. I never imagined it would turn into a joke like this. When time finally erased away my nightmare of you embracing Xuan’nu, another nightmare appeared. That was when you used four pairs of unicorns to bring Xuan’nu into Dasiming Palace and held a celebration which lasted 9 days. How funny you should think I was at ease. Things had come to that point yet I was still holding onto inappropriate feelings for you. When Xuan’nu got kicked out, I was rottenly happy. I excused you and told myself you hadn’t truly loved her. You won’t ever know how I felt when I found out it was all part of your strategy. You don’t know how much courage I had to muster to come and beg you for the soul pearl when my teacher passed away. And you can’t begin to understand how disappointed I was with your response. You say you didn’t give me the pearl because you were jealous of my teacher? Lijing, that deep love of yours isn’t an ounce of what Teacher did for me. When I was about to
die in Yanhua Cave, the image that appeared in front of me wasn’t you. At that time, I realize I’ve finally been freed.” Lijing closes his eyes. When he opens them, he sobs, “A Yin, that’s enough.” I close my fan and sadly say, “Lijing, in the past 140,000 years you are the only man I’ve ever loved. But the tidings keep on moving and we can’t turn back again.” His body stiffens. At last crystal tears stream from his eyes. After a long while he solemnly say, “I understood it too late, and you won’t stay still to wait for me.” I nod my head. Now I have nothing to do with the Demon race anymore. I leave him one last comment, “We’re strangers from now on. There’s no need to see one another again.” When I walk out from the cloud, Yehua stands from nearby and says, “How can you say those sweet words to pain me like that.” I force myself to smile to him. When we arrive at the South Gate of Heaven, there isn’t anyone guarding the place. There are only several tigers nodding away in sleep. I spin my fan and joke, “Whether great or shabby, our gate to Qingqiu is at least watched by Migu. But your 36 levels of Heaven are only being guarded by these tigers?” Yehua knits his brow, “Taishang Laojun is lecturing today. They probably all went to see him.” He then turns to me and smiles, “I heard you also went into debates with Yuanzheng when you went to the mortal realm. You should be knowledgeable, then. It's been many years since Laojun has met a rival. It must be lonely for him to be so peerless. Perhaps you can engage in some debate battles with him.” I swallow my saliva and evasively chuckle, “Surely, you’re exaggerating.” Behind the South Gate is a vast white color. Beyond it an entirely different scenery comes into view. Gold for floorings, jade for steps, auspicious light circling around. This can only be better if compared to the Water Palaces of the four seas. Luckily I was wise enough to wear my eye ribbon before going. My sickly eyes might be gone by now otherwise. At this time singing cranes fly over our head. I sigh emotionally and hold Yehua’s hand to say, “Your family sure is rich.” Yehua’s expression turns pale as he says, “Not every building here is like this.” The two of us start walking leisurely. I take the time to look around me. The brilliance of Jiuchongtian is completely opposite from Qingqiu’s vast farmland.
Even better is when we walk past some maids, they don’t get frightened by my eye cover and only pay respect to Yehua. It makes me thoroughly happy. I heard that Yehua moved out on his own when he was 30,000 years old. Tianjun gave him this palace, named Sawu Palace. It’s a pretty name. I’m now standing in front of said Sawu Palace and I feel somewhat surprised. I’ve never been to Jiuchongtian before, but I have a feeling Sawu Palace didn’t use to be so melancholic looking. I don’t expect gold gilded walls or jade shingles, but it should still be a little brighter, a little livelier. I’m still in deep thoughts when Yehua pulls me to the back door. He stands before the door and looks around a bit. Then he points and says, “Jump over.” I don’t understand so I quickly ask, “Why?” He furrows his brows slightly and takes me by my waist, jumps over the wall and softly lands on the ground inside. I don’t get it. Does everyone in Heaven scale walls instead of using the main gate? Yehua sees my expression and embarrassedly says, “We’ll only call attention to ourselves if we go through the main gate. They’ll all come lining up to greet us. It’s more convenient this way.” A thought flashes in my head. I tap on his shoulder with my fan and say, “We left a little early today. You forgot to tell Jiajun to not bring today’s documents to Qingqiu and wasted him a trip, didn’t you? If we were to enter the main gate, it might be troublesome if we run into him. Haha, at the mention of which, we got back late last night too. Have you taken care of all the reports piling from these past few days?” His whole body stiffens. His face turns red as he quietly coughs. I’ve always worried that Yehua is too serious. He’s only 50,000 years and he’s already more proper than that other immortal Donghua. It makes me happy today to see him looking abashed like a young lad. Yehua stays at Zishen Palace, next to Qingyun Palace. I’ll only be resting on Jiuchongtian for a few days. I know it’s not right to expect Yehua to prepare a whole mansion for me alone. I’m about to tell him I’m okay with staying at Qingyun Palace when he leads me to my own estate. I look up and see a sign with four words, “Yi Lan Fang Hua”
Yehua’s eyes seem to be hiding something as he says, “This is your estate.” I gently wave my fan as I stay in deep thoughts. I feel that the luxurious Heaven Palace is very different from Earth. I was given my own house when I went down there to help Yuanzheng because I was staying for a long time. But I’ll only be staying for a few days here and I get an entire estate. One is a lord in Heaven, one is a king on Earth. They’re both royalties but how different they are. I sigh and push the door open. The red door slowly opens wide as it creaks. Coming into view is the crimson color of peach blossoms. Surprised, I stammer, “Did you bring me here so I can help you take care of the peach orchard?” Yehua’s face freezes, the corner of his mouth twitches slightly, “Not many people know about the peach orchard. You shouldn’t have a chance to go there. I planted this peach tree two hundred years ago. It’s now flowering for the first time.” My heart suddenly pangs in pain for some unknown reason. I slowly enter the yard. Using my fan, I gently lift away the hanging branches in front of me. These blooming blossoms are quite pleasant. Chapter 16 Part 1 As I'm about to store the fan away, a voice calls out to me from behind, “Mi lady!” I turn around. Yehua is standing on the steps within the garden, his eyes hidden behind falling strands. Behind the door where he stands is a woman dressed in a servant outfit. Her left hand holds a beautiful flower vase, her right hand grips tightly on the red-painted door. She looks at me intently as tears start falling down from her eyes. My hand slightly trembles. The fan flips upward and makes a few turns, whirling wind on the tree branches as petals sprinkle down. She staggers toward me and hold onto me tightly. “Mi lady, it really is you. Nainai has waited for you these 300 years. You finally came back...” Then she smiles through her tears and says to Yehua, “What a treasure the Piecing Soul Lantern (Jiepo Deng) is. Mistress looks just as she did in the past.”
Looking at her, I can tell she is mistaking me for someone else. I pull away from her and say, “I'm afraid you're mistaken. I'm Bai Qian from Qingqiu, not your mistress you spoke of.” She looks bewildered but she still holds onto me tightly. Not knowing what else to do, I look over to Yehua for help. He nears us and helps Nainai up without looking at her. He stares at the peach tree ahead and composedly says, “This is the Ladyship Bai Qian of Qingqiu Kingdom. You can't call her mistress, but her title instead. You should address her “Your Ladyship” from now on do you understand?” Yehua tells Nainai to prepare bathing things and for me to rest while he goes to Qingyun Palace to bring the little dough over. The little dough really does miss me. As soon as he sees me, he leaps out from his father's arms and adorably calls me “Mom.” It fills me with happiness to hear that word. The flower vase falls down from Nainai's hands, crashing on the floor. I can tell this maid is thinking of the little dough's mother. She must not be happy that I'm getting all the affection as a stepmom while the real mother is forever dead. What a loyal servant. Yehua told me the little dough was only a bit frightened and that there wasn't any damages. I take a careful look and see that he's still the same naive chubby kid with dimples when he smiles, so I can now stop worrying. He naturally wants to bounce onto me but his father holds him back. After struggling for a while he starts looking pitiful when he still can't leave his father's grasp. I caress his head and say, “I'm not feeling so well right now so can you let your father hold you for now?” His round eyes blink, then his face starts to color as he pouts and quietly says, “I understand. You're having a baby aren't you?” I jerk and say, “What?” He bashfully pulls on his robe, “That's what's written in books. When a lady carries a small baby, her family won't let her hold another child because that would affect the... the...” he thinks for a long while and finally says with conviction, “right, the pregnancy's wellbeing.” Yehua chuckles and asks, “Where did you find these books?”
The little dough innocently replies, “From Sheng'yu.” Nainai asks, “Even if Her Ladyship is with child, why are your face so red?” The little dough spreads his arms and pulls me in for a kiss, “Because I'm happy. If mom has a baby, I won't be the only kid around here anymore.” Yehua nonchalantly says to me, “Should we just make a baby after our wedding?” “In your next lifetime maybe,” I reply with utmost seriousness. He looks as if he's swallowed a dead fly. Today is Taishang Laojun's lecture. Lingbao Tiansun is Laojun's teacher, so he had gone to show his support. There are only seven fairies staying behind. They respectfully tell me Tiansun will receive me when he comes back. I bring out the night pearls and gift them to the fairies. After that 18 heavenly maids file into two lines and lead us away to the spring. I do know a little about Heaven's custom. These 18 maids are the required number to show respect toward a high deity. “If your wife comes here to bathe, how many attending maids will there be?” He stops and says, “Fourteen, why?” “Nothing. I just feel like my rank will only drop if I marry you. This transaction won't be in my favor after all.” He stays quiet then says, “For Tianjun's Queen, there will be 24 attending maids, plus 4 more clever ones to scrub your back for you.” I laugh out loud, “That's not bad then.” The little dough cheers in delight and jumps right into the water as soon as the maids took off his robe. He doesn't dive all the way down but remains on the surface, splashing water everywhere. Yehua turns to the fruits and wine held by the maids and tells me, “That is fruit wine. You can let A Li have a sip, but don't let him have too much. Those are first fruits of the season, only let him eat half of each too.” I nod in agreement as I admire his attentive care toward his son. He dazes out a little. There's a sudden hint of a smile on his icy face. He takes the fan from my hand and says, “The blossom drawing on your fan is quite beautiful, but there's
not a poem on it. I'll add one while you bathe here. When you're done, come find me at my study.” His smile reaches all the way to his eyes, bending them into half-moons. While my attention is distracted, he takes off with the fan. The little dough stops splashing water and asks me, “Why did father leave? He's not bathing with us?” I laugh out loud, “Heaven gave your father a bunch of responsibilities. He left to take care of them.” Part 2 The little dough ends up drinking too much. Yehua reminded me to only feed him half of each fruit. So from that I gave the little dough half of each wine bottle. I didn't think he would be drunk only after two halfbottles. His innocent face grins at me and unexpectedly falls into the water, dozing away. Nainai worriedly says, “His young highness seems to have drank a lot. Why don't I take him to the physician?” I've drank wine for over 100,000 years, all were fine brews from Zheyan. This fruit liquor is nothing more than fermented juice. There's no harm done even if one over drinks this stuff. The little dough passed out probably because he's never drank that much before and his tolerance is still pretty low. I also checked his pulse when he has just fallen asleep. His heartbeats were even more stable than mine. If we take him to the physician just for a drunken spell, we're making a bid deal out of nothing. I mull it over and tell Nainai, “There's no need to dote on a boy. He's alright, just bring him back to his chamber. He'll wake up by the 3rd hour at most.” Two maids fish the dough out of the water and dress him so he may leave with Nainai. I eat some more melon and drink the rest of the dough's left-over wine. I nod off. When I open my eyes again it was already the hour of the dog. We lived together in Qingqiu for several months so I know quite well Yehua's habits, both good and bad. Thinking back, this is around the time we played chess together. My guess is that he must still be in his study now. Then my mind wanders to my fan and how it can help me chase away mosquitoes at night. Instead of hurrying back to Yi Lan Fang Hua, I head over to his study. There is no one guarding outside. I knock and receive no answer, so I push the door open myself. There's no one in the outer room either. The candlelight flickers animatedly in the bright room.
There comes feminine sobbing from within the inner room. My ears perk up. He must be tired from all that report reading, and if there happens to be a pretty maid next to him... But what if the pretty girl isn't actually that pretty, and she isn't good enough for him? No, I really shouldn't sabotage anymore of his love stories. My foot has only turned half a step back toward the door when I hear Yehua's soft voice, “Qianqian, come in if you're already here.” I slap my forehead. How could he have been aware of movements out here when he's holding a beauty in there? The candlelight's shadow dances on the curtain behind me. I can neither proceed nor retreat. Yehua unhurriedly says, “I've written a poem on your fan. Come in and get it.” Hah! He told me to come in, I didn't do anything rashly on my own. Truthfully I also want to see how the crying girl looks. So with Yehua's words, I excitedly lift the curtains to the side and walk in. I was right. There is a young maid in the inner room. But there's not just one; there are actually two. These two maids are dressed pretty lavishly. They both kneel on the floor with their heads lowered. The shoulders of the young one on the left slightly shake, her tears are yet to dry. Yehua is sitting behind his desk. In front of him is a large stack of documents. Next to the stack is a flower bowl, the soup within still emitting steam. He looks too calm and proper to have been in a romancing session. I retrieve the fan from Yehua's hand and forget about everything else, “These are the words you just wrote?” His handwriting is beautiful. The nine characters on the fan are broken into two lines: “Lift our cups and toast to wintry wind, let's float away together.” I was afraid he'd write something like, “At the doorway this time last year, your rosy cheeks were still blushing...***” Such lines will only make me sad for no reason. I'm happy with the line Yehua chose. ***The line comes from the classical poem Xi Suo Jian by Cui Hu 昔所見 - 崔護 去年今日此門中 This time last year at the doorway, 人面桃花相映紅 Your face blushed in the same color as the peach blossoms.
人面不知何處去 But you're gone now, yet where to? 桃花依舊笑春風 When the peach blossoms are still smiling in the spring breeze. A while later I curiously look up after not hearing anyone speak. The maid on the right looks at me with terrified eyes. That odd pair of eyes are strangely beautiful. I've lived for 140,000 years and I've never came across a handsomer pair. But she isn't prettier than any of the maids I saw today. Those clear twinkling pearls are somewhat wasteful on that common face. I was still wearing the ribbon across my eyes. Many have mistaken me so I'm now used to it. I don't bother explaining and just glance at her from top to bottom before complimenting her, “What rare eyes you have.” My words are merely socializing ones. I was being sincere too, so I expected her to be happy hearing them. But she was far from happy. She keeps shifting uncomfortably while looking at me with a disconcerting expression. Yehua nonchalantly pulls my eye ribbon off and helps me to sit down with him. He props his chin on his hand and coldly says, “Princess Mouqing, my palace really doesn't have any appropriate position for you. Please return to the East Sea tomorrow moring. Sujin, you're loving yourself. If you will miss Mouqing, then I'll ask Tianjun to marry you off to the East Sea. What do you think?” The person kneeling on the right who has an unbefitting pair of eyes should be Yehua's mistress, Lady Sujin, who was teased by Yuanzheng. I sigh. Yuanzheng, Yuanzheng, you're quite handsome yourself. It would've been better to tease your own reflection in the mirror than to tease this mistress. Sujin still stares at my eyes. Next to her, Mouqing is pleading through her tears. Yehua seems to be really angry tonight. I've never seen him this angry before except for when we fought Xuan'nu at Dasiming Palace. I'm actually somewhat intrigued. Thus I linger around even though I already got my fan. I lift up a tea cup nearby. As heaven would have it, the tea cup I chose is scorching hot, so I choose a spot to sit down and wait for it to cool. Yehua's talent in keeping his composure while others cause trouble is quite amazing. How miserable Princess Mouqing's pleading sounds and yet he just sits there going over his papers. Part 3
At last I get the gist of things. Yehua got so angry all because of the princess from the East Sea. She gained some audacity and added aphrodisiac into his soup. But Yehua found out soon enough and his anger flame flared up before his lust flame did. By custom, Yehua's maid from the study room sought the only madam in the palace there was. And what a remarkable madam this mistress Lady Sujin is. She didn't get angry at all when she learned Mouqing had wanted to seduce her husband. She instead even pleaded for the princess. Most of this have been over by the time I came in to take my fan. There are now only remnants of the show scattering here and there. As I try to decide whether I should stay or leave, Mouqing grabs my feet and sobs, “Mi Lady, I didn't know it was you last time. But you helped me once before, please help me again.” I stay quiet for a while and turns to Yehua, “Princess Mouqing is begging me but I have too much pride to beg you in return. Let me say a few things instead.” He raises his face from the document stack and looks at me to say, “Go ahead.” I take a deep breath and say, “Princess Mouqing's not the only one at fault here. You clearly know her feelings for you and you still took her back here. Yes, you wanted to let her sort through her feelings before sending her home but she doesn't know this, so she ends up thinking you like her too. You were the one who planted this seed in her heart but you still want to be a gentleman about it. Since you won't do anything, she's forced to take actions herself.” He coldly looks at Mouqing, “Didn't you say you'd be happy just to be a maid here?” I shake my head, “How can you believe what a girl in love says?” I tap the fan on my palm and tell Mouqing, “Listen to me, it's better if you return to the East Sea.” I take off before Mouqing can process my words. Yehua holds me back before I can get to the door. I tilt my head and glance at him. He lets go of my hand and starts to fall into step with me, “It's getting dark. Can you find the way back?” I sweep my eyes around the surroundings and say, “Probably.” He continues in silence and finally at length says, “Let me take you back.” The room's candlelight continues to glimmer behind the curtains. Soft sobbing resounds from inside. I consider the situation and feel that the two kneeling ones are probably very tired at this point. If Yehua comes with me, they can finally rest and find ease. Yehua can
also use this time to feel better. So if I ask Yehua to walk me back it still won't slow down his domestic responsibility. Thus I let him walk me out and comfortably bask in his care. The moonlight is veiled in a mist, there is a gentle cold breeze in the air. Yehua doesn't say much on the way back. Sometimes he'd say “There's a branch poking out, be careful” or “there's a rock ahead, come over to my side.” How bothersome. Since my eyes are weak, I have to pay attention to the ground all the time and have no chance of talking to him. I was originally sleepy. Add to that I had to concentrate too much on the way back so when I get to Fang Hua estate's door, all I want to do is to crawl into bed. But as I touch the door he holds my hand back. I raise my head to face him, “You don't need to walk me anymore. I know the way from here.” He laughs, “Even if this estate was larger, and coupled with your sense of direction, I'm sure you'll know the way from the gate to your room.” He pauses as he gazes deeply into my eyes, “I only want to ask you one thing. Why did you tell Princess Mouqing to go back to the East Sea?” I cover my yawn and ask, surprised, “I thought you wanted to send her back to the East Sea.” His eyes become woeful as he says “You want to send her back to the East Sea just because I said so?” I tap the fan on my wrist in silence. His words seem upset. Should I be truthful and nod my head, or lie and shake my head, or better yet not do anything? At length he says, “I shouldn't have asked you that question. When I pulled you into the study, it was to see if you'd be jealous or not. But it turns out you were only there for the show.” My heart beats faster. I thought he was simply asking me to retrieve my fan. I can't believe he has a reason as this. He raises and his head and looks at me. Expressionless, he calmly continues, “I hold no weight in your heart after all. Bai Qian, do you only keep that one person there? How much longer do you plan to wait for him?” My heart twinges, and I have no idea why.
When we say our goodbyes, Yehua's expression still hasn't changed. I wait for him to leave and go back to my room. I was so sleepy before, but I can't fall asleep now as I think about the panging sensation in my heart. Yehua's handsome face keeps appearing in my head until I finally drift into the dreamy state.
Randomness of the day: Yay for my baby's 8th consecutive Monte Carlo trophy. Really really happy to see him back in the winner circle and hopefully gets that monkey off his back, even if Nole was far from his best today.
Chapter 17 Part 1 My sleep lasts well into the night when someone suddenly pounds on the door outside. Under the bright cold starlight is a blood-shot eyed Nainai holding the little dough in deep sleep. When she sees me, her knitted brow loosen up as she quickly says, “Yesterday you said his young highness would wake up by the 3 rd hour. It's now past the 3rd hour and he still doesn't show any sign of coming to. His small face is getting redder by the minute. I have no other choice but to trouble you...” My sleepiness leaves me. Nainai lights the candle while I place the dough on my bed. I examine him and smile to Nainai, “Kids usually will wake up by the 3 rd hour from their drunken spell but from the dough's condition, I think he'll sleep until morning. It's a good thing his face is getting redder. That's a sign the alcohol is leaving his body. You don't have to worry.” Nainai sighs in relief as she comes into understanding. “You haven't slept a wink ever since carrying the dough back?” She sheepishly smiles. I take the little dough's undergarment off and wrap him up in a blanket. I push him to the side and tell Nainai, “I'll transfer some of my energy to him. I promise I'll give you back a buoyant dough tomorrow morning. But he should probably have some hangover porridge when he wakes up. Why don't you take a good rest and make some porridge to bring over tomorrow?”
Nainai seems tentative as she says, “I'm afraid he'll trouble Your Ladyship's sleep.” I pat the dough's face, “You see, he's completely out. You brought him here all the way from Qingyun Palace and he still didn't know a thing. How can he bother my sleep?” Nainai lets out a laugh and bows down to leave.
Although the little dough doesn't give me any trouble, his body and face keep sweating continuously. It seems like he's in deep sleep but I'm worried he isn't very comfortable. I bring in a water basin and loosen the blanket a little. I wipe him every once in a while, and continue to do so from the 4th hour until the Morning Lord comes out. Just like that I didn't get to sleep again thrpugh the entire night. I sigh as I put his clothes back on him. Now I know how hard it is to raise a child, and I can't help but to admire Yehua even more. When Nainai brings the porridge over, I have already finished dressing the dough but I still haven't taken the water basin away. Nainai quietly looks at the basin on the ground with an overwhelmed expression. Then she squats down to take it away. When she comes back I have finished my personal hygiene and am sitting there staring at the porridge she made. I only told her to bring over some as a diversion last night. I knew the little dough might not wake so soon. I sadly stare at the bowl. If porridge has feelings, the bowl in front of me would probably feel miserable being stirred back and forth in the pot for so long only to sit here until it turns cold and gets thrown away. I whimper in lamentation. Nainai smiles and says, “His highness isn't up yet and the porridge won't be good once it cools. Have Your Ladyship have your breakfast yet? If you don't mind would you please try some?” I can't turn down such sincerity now can I? I grin and grab it right away. Just as I finish the porridge, the 18 maids from yesterday lithely glide into my yard. The two in front holds two breakfast dishes. The other sixteen carries fruits and wine. I already ate so I want to tell them to bring the breakfast back. But when I see the food I think to the dough's impending hunger once he wakes, so I tell them to leave the breakfast on the table. I let Nainai stay to watch over the dough and I leave with the group of maids to Lingbao Tiansun's spring again.
The trails in Heaven are lined with rocks on two sides. Some are wide to begin with, but they get divided by a large boulder in the middle making one large road into two narrow paths. One must pay attention when traversing these paths. It's not a good idea to talk behind someone else's back. There are now two maids, I'm not sure whose, standing by the boulder ahead. I stop to listen because they are mentioning Princess Mouqing. One of the two says, “I knew that Mouqing wasn't the contented type. She caused trouble last night as I suspected.” The other says, “I still don't know what she did. I asked sister Hongyuan what happened but she scolded me without saying anything.” Then the first one replies, “Talk about the other unmindful one. His Highness has only brought her here for one day and she already wants to chase Mouqing away. I heard our lady had to kneel in the study until midnight because she was pleading for Mouqing.” “Why does our lady keep doing these things? She's really one of a kind. She’s both beautiful and kind. I don’t know why His Highness still hasn’t given her a glance. Ever since I came to her quarter, I haven’t seen His Highness visiting her once. Remember that time when the little cobra’s son from the North Sea caused trouble? Even Tianjun was furious but when sister Xuezhu ran to tell the Crown Prince, he didn’t bat an eyelash.” “I know it's not our place to say anything, but she’s still his mistress. He never even acknowledges her existence here in Sawu Palace. Poor lady, I feel so sorry for her.” “His Highness is now blinded by the white fox from Qingqiu. She's probably going to be his wife in the future. They haven’t wed but look how she follows him around. Who knows what she’ll do once they’re married. A few months ago when His Highness was kept at Qingqiu, our lady feared he’d forget his work so she sent sister Jinghua to Qingqiu for a reminder. But she was chased out before she even came through the door.” “Haizz, our kind mistress will probably have to suffer under her Ladyship of Qingqiu.” When these two fall into momentary silence, the eighteen maids and I also have to hold our breath on this side of the rock. The two maids in front are making their way over. I raise my fan to stop them. They look at me with worry as I smile to reassure them. Part 2 I know the silence is only momentary. Sure enough they come back to me, the main topic. “Did you hear, the Ladyship from Qingqiu is already 140,000 years old.” “140,000 years old already? Then isn’t she like an old granny? She’s older than His Highness by 90,000 years; she could be his grandmother. What shamelessness? I know there’s an engagement, but marrying a guy that young is pushing it.”
Someone voices out in agreement, “Right? How improper for someone so old. I'm sure she used magic to bewitch His Highness. Haizz, I can only hope he soon sees her true self and returns to our lady's side.” It seems their confiding chit chat is coming to an end with this. I had only wanted to hear a little gossip, but it turns out it's all about me. Today I feel less fun without someone splashing water with me. There are two from the sixteen maids who are well-versed in music. They play the pipa (a Chinese lute) for an entire hour and relieve some of my loneliness. But no matter how good they are, they can’t compare to Moyuan from the past. It was interesting at first but I get bored after a while. I bathe for a while more and drape my clothes back on. I tell the maids to stay there while I return to Fanghua estate to bring back some books. Maybe I can kill time while bathing if I have something to read. When I arrive at Fanghua estate’s main gate, it springs open before I even push it. Yehua furrows his brow when he sees me, his arm holding the little dough. I knew he’s not the chummy type when I first met him at the East Sea. But he’s been so friendly ever since that I had forgotten how cold he can be. His fierce eyes give me chills. His eyes darken as he says in a heavy tone, “It seems like A Li drank some wine. From what I know he’s been sleeping since yesterday’s afternoon but he’s still not up yet. What’s going on?” I glance at the red-faced dough and calmly reply, “I let him drink 2 bottles, so he’s a little drunk now.” He frowns, “He’s been out all this time. Why didn’t you say anything to me? Or take him to the royal doctor?” Surprised, I ask, “Why are you doting so much on the child? My parents never took me to the doctor when I got drunk from Zheyan’s wine. The little dough isn’t a girl either. If you keep fretting over him like this, he might turn feminine when he grows up.” He remains quiet, then at length, he walks past me and says throatily, “Since you didn’t give birth to A Li, you probably never loved him like your own son and can only treat him like a stepson. If he was your real son, you wouldn’t be saying these things.” I stand there confused. By the time I understand his meaning, my entire body turns cold.
I haven’t given birth, but I know for sure I love the dough as much as I will any child of mine. I pity him for losing his mother at such a young age and I’ve always tried my best to protect him. But all my feelings are returned with such criticizing words. I lightly chuckle from behind, “I’ve always wanted an adorable and clever child like him. Too bad his real mother is the dead woman who has thrown herself down Zhuxian Tai. I come from the Xiaoyao (carefree happiness) school of thought from Kunlun, not the Buddhist school in the west so naturally I don’t have Buddha’s kindness. From what I know, your mistress is quite a kind lady. Why don’t you ask her to take care of A Li from now on. You can stop letting him suffer by my side now.” He tenses up. After a long moment he finally says, “Don’t say such words to upset me. I didn’t mean it that way.” Then he takes off running with the little dough towards the doctor’s estate. The further his figure retreats into the distance, the more unhappy I feel. As I turn back into the yard, Nainai appears before me. Her eyes are red as she grabs my sleeves and asks, “Did Your Ladyship happen to see anyone leaving the estate?” “Is anything wrong?” Wretched tears fall from her eyes as she sobs, “Oh please punish me. It was all my fault. You treated his young highness so well even his mother would have to thank you. But I made a mistake and now Lady Sujin has taken the young prince away. I... I...” She struggles for a while but still can't get to the main issue. I help her along, “Let's forget about the other stuff for now. What do you mean by saying Sujin taking the little dough away?” Nainai finally breaks it down into details. She tells me that while I was away bathing in the spring, Sujin came to Fanghua estate with four maids, saying they were taking a stroll. I have to admire her. She was still involved in that brouhaha with Yehua and Mouqing well into the night yesterday but yet she somehow summoned enough energy to stroll all the way to my estate the very next morning. Apparently Yehua doesn't let her see the little dough nor let her come near Yi Lan Fang Hua. It was known all over the eight lands. She's always followed these two rules until today. When she came by, Nainai wouldn't let her in. When Nainai left and returned with some water for the dough, he was no longer there. She instantly ran out to chase Sujin down and ran into me on the way. I pat her shoulders and reassure her, “It was Yehua who brought the dough away. Sujin didn't do anything, you don't have to worry.”
Part 3 Having heard Nainai's words, I can now see she wards off Yehua's mistress like she's warding off pests. “Did this mistress Sujin have anything to do with the little dough's mother jumping down Zhuxian Tai?” Her expression abruptly turns white. At length she says, “Tianjun forbids everyone from mentioning this. Every maid who knew of the incident was removed from Heaven and employed elsewhere now.” Just as I raise my head, I see the Admirable One standing behind Yehua’s estate with a smiling face. She slightly bows and says, “Sister, I came here just now but you weren’t here so I was about to go over to the spring to greet you. But then you returned back to the estate so I hastily came over. How fortunate to finally see you, sister.” I’m still annoyed by her two maids this morning. Now she keeps “sister this sister that” making my suppressed irratation surface once more. I hate to be called sister by someone else all because Xuan’nu used to call me that way in the past. “If you had wanted to greet me, you could’ve done so last night when we met. Why wait until now?” Her smiling face instantly freezes. At length her body straightens as she brightly smiles again, “Heaven is a little different from elsewhere. If it’s an important visit, there needs to be proper preparations to satisfy customs in order to show the visitor’s respect. Of course I should greet you when you arrived, but His Highness never mentioned this important event to me. I didn’t recognize you last night so I’m now late in greeting you. Please forgive me, sister.” Each of her words is indeed carefully chosen. But that word sister is giving me headaches. I tap the fan on my hand and nod, “I’ve only arrived here so I’m not familiar with Jiuchongtian’s rules and regulations. Then please go ahead and perform that greeting now.” She says with shock, “I just did.” Well this is news to me. I can only remember a slight curtsy from her. Is that the proper greeting a Crown Prince’s mistress should give to a high deity like myself? I was dissatisfied, but I let it go and say, “Oh, you did? What a simple friendly greeting…”
I still haven’t finished when the Admirable One, who was still standing with her face held high moments ago, who merely bent her legs a little when she greeted me, suddenly drops onto her knees. A shadow seems to fleet outside the gate. I clear my throat, “What are you doing now?” The Admirable One’s expression transformed into gentle kindness as she says, “My curtsy was used accordingly for the princess consort. And this one now is for my benefactor. I’m very grateful you’ve taken care of A Li these past few months. You probably know that A Li lost his mother since he was a baby. Please forgive him for mistaking you as his mother, for you look exactly like her. His Highness’ love for A Li’s mother is rather great. When she threw herself down Zhuxian Tai, he also followed her. Look sister, this peach tree was planted by His Highness in remembrance of A Li’s mother. Those two hundred years were His Highness’ best moments in life. What fate it is that you should look so much like her. This bow from me is my wish for you and His Highness to soon get married so that his withered heart can be comforted.” When I learn I’m only a replacement for the little dough’s mother, everything that has happened makes more sense now. Although I know exactly what she’s getting at, I feel bad I won’t be able to do as she wishes: fighting with Yehua about his misplaced love for me. I leisurely get up and walk over to her. I use my fan to pat on her shoulder and say, “What you want isn’t necessarily what everyone wants. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Right, there’s also something I want to remind you. When I receive others’ greetings, it is according to Qingqiu’s customs. If you really want to greet me, you should wash and fast for three days. Follow that with three kneels and 9 bows. I know it’s a bit much, but I have enough rights to it even from your husband Yehua. If in the future you want to officially greet me, then do it according to our Qingqiu’s traditions. If not, then don’t bother. But don’t tell me again about Heaven’s regulations. Also, my mother’s never given me a little sister. It feels wrong for someone so young to call me older sister. It’s best to address me Ladyship as you should.” I feel much better now that I said my peace. I see her shaking knuckles as I slightly glance over her. She’s only a child after all. No matter how carefully she disguises her face, she can’t mask her juvenile ways. I click my tongue and wave Nainai over. We walk past the Admirable One kneeling on the floor and go on to the spring. Part 4 I couldn’t have imagined Yehua to be a lovelorn man. Now that I see it, I don't know why, but it makes me sad.
If he had loved the dough’s mother so much, wouldn’t he have killed the Admirable One for forcing the dough’s mother to jump down Zhuxian Tai? I unknowingly speak up my thoughts. Nainai says with her head lowered, “You’re right, he did slash her once. When he woke up, he was without spirit and strength. He locked himself inside his chamber all day long, not even caring about the little prince. After two months, Tianjun sent Lady Sujin to Sawu Palace. It was a warm sunny day, very auspicious, but Lady Sujin couldn’t go one step inside the palace. My own two eyes saw His Highness piercing his sword into her chest, his face unchangingly cold. It was a deadly strike but Tianjun appeared in time and rescued her. After that she successfully came into Sawu Palace under the protection of Tianjun. His Highness only sees her as the vessel containing my lady’s eyes. Everyone says she’s pitiful but I think she only brought it on herself.” Surprised, I ask, “What eyes?” Nainai grits her teeth, “Her eyes were stolen from my ill-fated lady.” I'm lost in thoughts. Normally I always try to ask for all the details when I come across strange tales as this. But I don't know why, as if there is some entanglement within me, I only sigh this time. Nainai's eyes redden as she says, “I was naïve, and so was my mistress. I found out later that lasting here for 3 years wasn’t easy to begin with. Lady Lesi said His Highness purposely hid his feelings to protect my mistress. He deceived everyone including her but he couldn’t deceive the one person he needed to deceive the most, Tianjun.” As she finishes her words, her face suddenly blanches white and she quivers, “I said more than I should.” She said a lot. I understood the first half, but I couldn’t hear too well the 2 nd half, so I’m not sure which part she shouldn’t have said. I just know I feel confused and burdened now. As we near Yi Lan Fang Hua, an auspicious light approaches us from the distance. Zheyan is now leaning against the estate's wall grinning at me. Now that I think about it, he might have been the shadow in front of the garden when Sujin was kneeling down to me. I was angry so my words to Sujin might have been impolite, and even with some superiority. I'm beyond embarrassed to think that Zheyan might have heard such verbiage. He keeps on his jovial face as he comes before me to say, “It's been quite some years since I last saw you with that sort of pettiness. To see it again today is quite an honor. I used to regret bringing you to Kunlun but it seems you picked up an extra talent there: the
art of shrewdly edifying someone. No longer the same innocent and sunny girl. Look at you now, hopeless, I dare say.” I'm already 140,000 years old. If we count it the mortal way, I'd already be an ancient granny. I'd scare people to death if I'm still innocent and sunny. But I know Zheyan will never feel old even if I do, so I swallow back my thoughts and say, “You're right, I really dislike that little mistress of Yehua. I'm normally fond of smart fairies, but I hate the ones who think themselves smart in front of me. I merely reminded her a little here and there as a senior to a junior. You can't count that as being petty. Don't over praise me.” He continues to grin. “Yehua brought me to Heaven just yesterday and you've followed us today. You didn't come here only to eavesdrop on me?” He lightly coughs and glances over at Nainai. She understands and curtsies, “I'll leave first.” I nod. Zheyan waits for Nainai to disappear in the distance before putting on a grave expression. My heart flutters at this sight. Three hundred years ago when I woke up from my sleep, he also put on the same expression and told me, “Moyuan is probably going to wake up.” He fed me with false hope. Looking at his eyes now, that hope starts to appear once more. But I fear all my hopes will be in vain again. I hold back my hands within my sleeves and say with my calmest voice, “Drop that face. I'm not in a hurry for anything.” He drops that grave expression and smiles plainly, “What If I say Moyuan is awake? Will you still not go?” All the heat from my heart goes straight to my eyes. I hear myself hoarsely say, “You… you’re lying to me again.” He pats my shoulders and says, “Little brat, I’m not lying to you. I went to the West Sea a few days ago on business and met the eldest prince of Xihai Shuijun. I detected inconsistent energy on him. After examining him, I discovered his body is housing two spirits. One of himself, and the other… of your teacher Moyuan.”
I stare at my embroidered shoes on the ground, “How do you know that spirit belongs to Moyuan?” “That sleeping spirit in the West Sea Prince's body is made from piecing together many destroyed fragments. There is only Moyuan in this world who has the ability to do such thing. Furthermore he's the son of the first deity. I was raised by the first deity himself and grew up with Moyuan so I'm familiar with his energy. Didn't you use to say he told his disciples to wait for him? He's used 70,000 to piece together his soul but there are still some missing fragments out there. That's why he needs to stay on another body. Except this prince isn't that strong. He doesn't even have enough energy to cultivate himself let alone supporting Moyuan.” “If Teacher is borrowing the prince's energy to feed his own soul, then how will he repay such a large favor?” Zheyan clears his throat and unhurriedly says, “Moyuan has his reasons to choose the eldest prince of the West Sea. I recall that he owed Moyuan a favor as a child, so just think this as his repayment.” Then he lifts my face up and frowns, “Little brat, what are you crying for?” I quickly bring my hand to my face and sure enough tears have fallen since I-don’t-knowwhen. My body slides onto the ground as I uselessly grab his sleeve, “I’m so scared that this will turn out to be a hopeless dream.” Chapter 18 Part 1 I have no desire to stay in Jiuchongtian after my discourse with Zheyan. But it wouldn't be right to leave without saying goodbye to Yehua even though we're having some conflict at the moment. I wrote him a letter and say only necessary words such as thanks for his care these past two days. Then I quickly descend Heaven with Zheyan. Although Moyuan’s spirit is sleeping within the West Sea prince, I still want to come by to take a look at him. Going to the West Sea from Heaven takes about an hour. Flying with Zheyan is mind-numbingly dull as he keeps yapping on and on. But since this time his story is about the West Sea, I force myself to pay attention. The eldest son of the West Sea Water Lord has been ill since young and no doctor has a cure for it. The 2nd prince is a drinking buddy of 4th brother so 4th brother asked Zheyan to offer his help. Zheyan insisted on his anti-social ways but 4th brother threatened to end their relationship and thus Zheyan had to give in.
Zheyan directs his gaze to the distance and says, “When I left the West Sea, I told them there will need to be a fairy envoy to take care of Dieyong. For Moyuan’s spirit to leave properly, Dieyong's body will need careful tending.” I knit my brows and ask, “But when was there ever an envoy at your orchard?” He grins, “Rumor has it that there was a fairy with her eyes covered in a white ribbon who came to Donghai Shuijun's Water Palace and gave him a bottle of peach wine for his newborn's celebration. She said she was from my household. Then someone else said she claims to be the Crown Prince Yehua's younger sister from Jiuchongtian. And after many months of going to Heaven looking for her, they finally came back to Donghai seeking the truth. Turns out she was a cross-dressing male who was having a gay relationship with Yehua and had to cover it up by saying she was his sister.” I bite my lip and say, “Haha, that Donghai Shuijun, what a funny guy...” I'm awfully grateful to Zheyan for being able to take care of Moyuan personally. But he insists that I disguise myself into a man and continue the charade. How unfortunate that 4th brother wasn't at the newborn's party. I shouldn't have used Zheyan's name after all. Zheyan's evil eyes glance at me. I look up to the sky and turn myself into a young lad, my eyes still covered with the white ribbon. After an hour we finally arrive at Xihai. Zheyan leads me straight underwater and after a few tea-cup time the water palace appears before us. Xihai Shuijun brings with him his subordinates and waits for us at the gate. They receive us with the utmost respect. The maids keep bringing out tea and large platters of fruits. After a few sips of tea, Zheyan excuses himself. Xihai Shuijun brings me to see his eldest prince Dieyong. I intake a deep breath and prepare myself. I hope I won't speak erroneously when I see him. Part 2 I thought because Moyuan's soul is housed within the Xihai Prince's body, there should be at least some familiar energy emitting from him. His appearance should also have some traces of Moyuan's looks. But when the maids push open the door to Fu Ying Palace where the prince stays, my heart sinks in disappointment at the sight of a nappy hair Dieyong lying dumbly on his bed. The young man on the bed is fairly handsome, but his outer appearance is too feeble and not at all comparable to Moyuan. The energy emitting from him is also too weak without any profundity.
A maid of Dieyong sets a chair by the bed. I sit down and check his pulse. My hand trembles as I place it on his wrist. His rhythm is neither here nor there, quick nor slow, shallow nor deep. It is exactly as Zheyan has said – there is not a proper pulse. Xihai Shuijun asks concernedly, “My son's ailment...” I hesitantly smile at him, “If you don't mind, can you lead everyone outside and wait for me?” I chased the loitering people all just so I can use the art of Soul Seeking to locate Moyuan's soul. This art is rather sensitive. I can't afford to be distracted by outsiders. My two hands come together to conjure the spell. The chamber instantly brightens in a white light. The light slowly condenses into a thin silver strand and enters directly into Dieyong's forehead. I breathe out and carefully extract my consciousness to follow the opening where the light went. This is a precarious technique. If one's not careful, he will be strangled by the suspended's own consciousness. I circle around Dieyong's spirit for a long while, unable to find any trace of Moyuan's sleeping spirit. As I'm about to leave, there rings an extremely familiar tune by my ears. Its rhythm rises and falls in elegant solitude. I can still remember that this is the same melody Moyuan played that year at Dongshen Xuanming's lecture. My heart beats fast as I chase after the music. In the blink of an eye, the music suddenly ceases. I tremor. It seems I have touched something a moment ago. It is light and peaceful, like a beam of energy weakly nudging my hand, gently circling around my fingers. One's consciousness doesn't have tears, but I still feel like welling up. My mind goes blank. The energy that's wrapping around my fingertips is precisely that of Moyuan's. I can't believe how miserable his condition is currently. Moyuan, my teacher. Moyuan, the God of War. How can he be so thin and weak that he has to depend on another's energy to live. But it doesn't matter. At last he has come back. Zheyan didn't lie to me. Moyuan, the person who's even closer to me than my own father has finally returned. It's been a long time since I search within Dieyong's soul. I'm afraid it will be dangerous to continue any longer. Although I can't see a thing within the silvery brightness, I kneel down and bow twice toward Moyuan's spirit. Then I follow the original white light and exit. At last Dieyong wakes up.
As soon as he opens his eyes, he asks me, astonished, “Why are you crying? Is my condition really that hopeless? Even if it is, you don't have to cry so. Even if it's tearfully tragic, I should be the one to shed tears. Don't cry, I've been sick for so long I'm used to it now.” I touch my eye cover and it's indeed damp. I awkwardly smile, “I cried because I was happy.” He furrows his brow, “Hey you. I thought you were compassionate, that's why you cried for me in sympathy. How can you be happy to see me in pain?” I pat his shoulder kindly and reply, “That's not true, not true at all. I'm not that happy, really.” Zheyan was right. Moyuan will need many more centuries to recover his original form with such a feeble host as Dieyong. But if we can borrow the Piecing Soul Lantern from the Heaven family and summon the separated fragments together, then use half of my 140,000 years of spirit, he'd wake up in no time. I've never seen that lantern of the Heaven family in all my life. I've only read about it from an anecdote somewhere. It was written that the Jiepo Deng was created by the first deity from the beginning of time. It can piece together the soul of a fairy and the spirit of a mortal. For example, if a fairy's soul is destroyed, one only needs to place the Jiepo Deng at the head of his bed for three days. The lost soul fragments will piece perfectly together as before. As for a mortal, one only needs to burn a glimmer of his soul for a short while. The lantern will recognize the distinct soul and can slowly collect the obliterated fragments and recreate another similar soul. It's a one-of-a-kind treasure. When I step out of Fu Ying Palace, the servants are clamoring around. I haven't open my mouth to ask when a smart maid tells me, “A special guest has just arrived. The Water Lord is receiving him in the main hall. If it's not so difficult, you can delegate the jobs to us.” I tell them I don't need anything. I just want to head back to Jiuchongtian to borrow the Piecing Soul Lantern from Tianjun. The identity of my disguise isn't exactly of eminent background. I best find Xihai Shuijun and say goodbye to show respect. I ask two maids to lead me to the main hall where Xihai Shuijun is receiving his guest. The rest of them continue to serve Dieyong. I bet this new guest is of rather high importance.
Guarding outside of the hall are two lines of Xihai's fairies. They were all present when Xihai Shuijun received Zheyan. Part 3 I was right with my guess. This grand visitor is the very same person who is currently upset with me, the Crown Prince of Heaven, Yehua. When I come in, he is supporting his head on his hand, his back leaning against the wooden chair. His expression is tired with knitted brows and a pale face. The clothes he has on is the same one from this morning. He doesn’t bun up his hair, but tying it with a black ribbon like when we were still at Qingqiu. I think of what he said to me at the Yilan Fanghua estate and how he carried away the little dough. My anger rises again; I shake my sleeves and turn to leave. I'm not in the mood so a light grab won't be able to hold me back. He seems to understand this point as his embrace is rather tight. I didn't think he'd come here to stop me. So before my mind could find its balance again, I already found myself falling into his arms. My fairy energy spreads out strongly and forces him back several steps. He backs into the crystal column in the middle of the room but he still clenches his lips tight and won't let go. His eyes shine in one dark shade. I keep struggling and still can't get out of his hold. Before I could use a spell to free myself, he already turns me around and lock my hands in his, his body closes in and pushes me tightly against the column. This position looks kind of... suspicious. I've seen such scene from a porn book when I stayed in the mortal realm. While my mind floats around, my neck stings in pain. He, he... he dares bite me. Those teeth of his are rather sharp. His breath starts to become heavy as he breathes into my neck. I'm sure my heart is still calm, although my body is trembling at this point. An unapprehended feeling washes over me. My hands start to struggle, but not to push him away. In my cloudy mind, I perhaps want to free from his hands so I can circle my own around him. In my head suddenly rings a distant voice as if it’s traveling from a faraway land, “Will you stay with me even when I don’t have anything?” A woman softly laughs and replies, “You never had anything beside your sword to begin with. It’s only use is to chop woods for oven logs and I haven't disliked you, have I.”
Those broken sentences give my calm heart a freezing jolt. My own body from head to toes doesn't feel like my own anymore. Inside me spreads a desire and yearning which seem to have been there for centuries. This need pins me down tightly making it impossible to move. His hand gently pushes the neck opening of my robe aside. His burning lips move directly from my jaw to my chest. Because I had to nourish Moyuan's corpse with my blood all these years, there are still deep knife scars where my heart lies. His left hand which is holding my own suddenly goes rigid, but then he grips my hands tighter as his lips graze over my wound. I raise my head and let out a small gasp. My inside tremors in pain. It hurts even more when he kisses me then when I was stabbed there. The pain brings my sanity back. My drained body slumps back toward the column. He finally lets go. Without thinking, my free hand goes up to slap him. Unfortunately I didn't time it correctly as he blocks it the moment I raise it. Again I fall right back into his arms. His right hand heads straight into my disheveled robe and rests on my chest. With his unchanged ghastly expression, his eyes suddenly blaze bright. “Bai Qian, is there a space for me here at all?” He's asked this question twice, and I still don't know what answer to give him. Of course he has a place in my heart. But I don't know if what he refers to is the same as what I'm thinking of. I've thought it over for all of two days - what position does he hold in my heart. I thought and thought, and gave myself pounding headaches. The burning hand he places on my chest gradually becomes cold. The bright glow in his eyes also dies down. At length he pulls his hand away and slowly says, “You waited so long only to wait for him to return. Of course you can’t make room for anyone else now that he’s coming back. It was only a silly hope of mine.” I lift my eyes to him, “How did you know Moyuan is coming back?” I don't know at all what his meaning is. He is himself, and Moyuan is Moyuan. What correlation is there with his place in my heart and Moyuan's return? But this event is only known by Zheyan, 4th brother and I. Perhaps Migu and Bifang have found out too, but where did he hear this news from? He turns his head toward outside the hall and calmly says, “Master Zheyan told me that night in Heaven. I was on my way to Qingqiu to look for you when I met him half-way. Not only do I know that person will come back, I also know for him to come back sooner, you'll surely come to Heaven and borrow the Jiepo Deng.” He pauses and continues, “So what do you plan to do after you borrow the lantern?” I intake a deep breath and reply, “Go to Yingzhou*** for the magic herbs then transfer my 70,000 years worth of spirit so he can recover quickly.” ***瀛洲 (Yingzhou) - believed to be the place where fairies lived in ancient times
He whips around, his dark eyes are striking on his pale face. He looks at me for an eternity before pronouncing each word, “You’re…crazy.” The magic herb is used to purify a fairy's soul. The first deity was worried fairies will use them to cheat their way to divinity so he burned away all of them, leaving only a little in Yingzhou toward the East Sea. This patch of grass is guarded by four magical animals. Even my father was injured that year when he tried to gather some for my mother to transfer her energy to me. Yehua's right. It's definitely crazy of me to go this time. I'll surely come back injured and lamed. He's only a few steps away from me. From the time he releases me, I'm still leaning against the column without moving away. In a sweep of his arms, he locks me firmly again within the column. He grits his teeth, “Because of that person, because of him, you’re willing to risk even your life?” Clearly I’m the one who’s being cornered. Why does he look like I've pushed him into a corner too? Then I remember. If I were to lose 70,000 years of my spirit, it'll take another 20 to 20 thousand years to recover. I won't be able to help him take the 81 fire strikes and 9 lightning bolts as part of his crowning ceremony. Although his coronation isn't set yet, it's still not sound to be linked together by the betrothal. I clear my throat and lift my eyes to him, “Why don’t we break our engagement?” He looks at me in bewilderment, “What did you say?” I push his arms aside and focus my eyes on a tea cup nearby, “It has nothing to do with you to begin with. The fault lies at Zangpi. Tianjun only wanted to please both families when he decreed this strange betrothal. As long as our side break off the engagement this time, neither of us will owe each other anymore.” He doesn't move for a long time. Then at long last he turns his back against me and says, “Come to my room tonight. The Piecing Soul Lantern isn't in Heaven anymore. It's with me here.” He doesn't care to look back at me once as he leaves straight out of the room, almost running into another crystal column by the door. I hoarsely say, “Be careful.” He straightens himself and taps on his head, “It was always a futile hope of mine. What I owe you or what you owe me has been impossible to count from so long ago.” How lonely that tall figure of his is. Chapter 19 Part 1
I stay rooted inside the hall for a while, emptiness flooding over my heart. I take two sips from the tea cup to moisten my dry throat before dazedly stepping out. Since Jiepo Deng is at Yehua's, I don't have to make another trip to Jiuchongtian. It lessens some of my burden but my mind's still not at ease. Yehua's lonely shadow flutters before my eyes while something tugs at my heart. The two maids take me back on the old path. Because Dieyong's looks aren't at all like Moyuan's, I forgo stopping by Fu Ying Palace to visit him again. The maids take me over to the smaller manor next door so I can rest. Xihai Dongjun is rather negligent in naming his buildings, unlike the creative Donghai Shuijun. For example, there are two small manors to the left and right of Fu Ying Palace. One has ruby-red quince grown outside so it's called Honglou (Red Manor). The other has banana trees with luminous blue leaves so it's called Qinglou (Blue Manor). Poor me has to stay at Qinglou.
This place lives up to its name. All the furnitures in the manor is made with woods from Qingjiang, from the flower vase to the tea set, everything is blue porcelain. Even the maids wear blue... blue everywhere before my eyes. How cruel. My head spins from looking at the blue-robed servants. I send them downstairs to pull the weed. The room is also bright-lit, making my head blanks out even worse. At this moment, the window behind me suddenly creaks. I lift my eyes. Hmm, so the all important guest that Xihai Shuijun was so hasty to welcome wasn't exactly the lotusseated Buddha from the West. I take a tea cup and turn around to give him a perfunctory greeting, “Fourth brother, have some tea.” His eyes examine me from head to toes before taking the cup. Then he blinks his eyes as he says, “Aren't you our family's young lady, why are you dressing like a man?” I bring my eyes around the room once and give him the honest answer, “Zheyan told me to.” The tea spits out from his mouth. He wipes it with his sleeve and says with unchanging expression, “Well I think you're much prettier like this.”
He takes a seat on the big Qingjiang wood chair and says, “What's wrong with your face? It's so pale. Are you unhappy that Moyuan is coming back?” I touch my face and reply with happiness, “Of course I'm happy. I'm finally at ease now.” He knits his brow, “Then why do you look as if you've lost your mind?” I crinkle my nose and smile, “I've just used the Seeking Soul technique and I haven't recovered yet.” His bright eyes still stares squarely at me. I smile and add, “I also had a stupid fight with Yehua this morning, twice.” I think it's best to tell him before he hears it from Zheyan, Migu, or Bifang. Fourth brother has become such an expert at the gossip mill after spending so long a time with Zheyan. Although he's only a student in the trade, he's surpassed his teacher and is many more time a master compared to Zheyan. After I finish, he gives me a strange smile and says, “This thing between you and Yehua... naturally I'm on your side emotionally. But Yehua isn't wrong when you think about it logically. A Li is only a little kid. You got him drunk and after half a day still didn't say a word to Yehua. The dragon family in Heaven has never been geniuses. With their poor medical skills, it's natural he'd be worried to see his precious treasure knocked out drunk.” At this point he reaches out to pat my head, “Usually you'd only laugh things like this off. But this time you lost all your cool and even offended his mistress. Hah, I really applaud your actions this time. But just out of curiosity, doing these strange things, are you by any chance jealous?” I'm shocked. A bulb goes on in my head. It's been two days since my heart has periodically twinged in pain. I also haven't been as generous as usual. I got irritated everytime I see that admirable Sujin. I couldn't stand the little dough's father's scoldings either. Then I lost my mind for half a day today. Me, jealous? And it lasted this long even though it's my first time being jealous? And I've no clue even though it has lasted this long?! The tea cup falls to the ground and results in a crashing sound. Fourth brother jumps up to avoid it. He nods and says, “You're jealous, alright.” I defend myself, “No, it can't be. I'm 90,000 years older than he is. If I had hurried, my grandkids would be his age. I've always felt sorry for him and wanted to get him a few pretty mistresses. Also, that day when he confessed his feelings, if I had loved him at all, shouldn't I have felt something when he confessed?” Fourth brother's eyes shine brightly, “He confessed to you? He's got pretty good eyesight to pick out our family's precious jewel with just a glance.” Then he says, “Age's not a big
deal as long as you look compatible. I think you two look great together. About your promise to help him look for a mistress. Zheyan also promised to find me a spouse. But look at me, it's been years and I still don't have a wife. He doesn't think there's a single woman out there who's good enough for me.” Then he pats my shoulders like it's coming from an experienced person, “Even though you're my sister, I still have to say this. You were born slow. You're not a half-bad fairy, but you're such an idiot when it comes to love. The sort of exciting romance might be too passionate for you. The slow continuous sort like persistent rain might suits idiots like yourself better.” The veins on the side of my forehead twitch several times. My brother lifts a teacup up and smiles, “I heard Migu says that Yehua stayed in Qingqiu for four months. Hmm, this persistent rain's a bit short, but let me ask you a question. If he doesn't come to Qingqiu anymore, is there any regret on your part? Nevermind, you're slow to understand anyway. It'd take you another 10,000 years to figure out whether you have any regrets or not. Let's say it this way, if he leaves, is there any habit you would miss?” I didn't care too much at first when Yehua stayed at Qingqiu. But because I thought we'd get married and stay together sooner or later, I followed whatever he wanted. He'd drag me out for morning walks, I'd help him with cooking meals, I'd read novels while he does his work, we'd play chess at night. I thought we'd be like that forever after we get married so I became used to it. It hasn't been four months, but now that fourth brother asks, how did I pass my days before Yehua came to Qingqiu? My heart becomes heavier. Fourth brother laughs and says, “After Moyuan wakes up, let's ask our parents to remind Tianjun and hurry this marriage along. Thanks to your brother's rare wisdom today, you've admitted to your feelings for Yehua. Don't be so worried, if Yehua fools around with your feelings and goes back on his confessed words...” I perk up my ears to hear what would happen to Yehua if he goes back on his confession but my brother only lays the teacup loudly on the table and says, “How glad I am to see you like this. I'm leaving.” Then he pushes the window open and disappears in a blink of the eye. Part 2 I sit and think carefully over the things 4th brother said. I'm more afraid during this short timespan than I have been in all my life. Fourth brother is right. Even though I've always thought I should find Yehua some pretty mistresses, I've never found one I think is good enough for him. If I had really fallen for him... then when did these feelings started?
I stand there in the empty room for a long time and still can't find the answer. I try going to bed but sleep won't come. I feel it's best to come take the Jiepo Deng from him tonight and make up with him. At night, when I come over to Yehua's manor, he is sitting on the stone chair drinking wine. On the stone table is a jade wine bottle. On the ground are seven or eight more, reflecting the green corals nearby. Yesterday when the little dough got drunk, Nainai complained that the little prince's low tolerance was inherited from his father's. I've never drank with Yehua before so I can't tell how well he holds his liquor. But he can't be half bad if he can still hold his cup so steadily after that many bottles. He sees me and instantly stands up, rubbing his forehead at the same time, “Ah, you're here to get the Piecing Soul Lantern?” His body stumbles a little and I quickly rush over to catch him. But he stops me from reaching him and tells me, “I'm okay.” The manor Xihai Shuijun gives him is quite large. From his seat to the inner hall takes about 500 steps. There's no major turbulence on his face. It's just a little paler, and his long hair is a little tangled. I wait for him to turn into the hall before following behind. His steps in front of me seem pretty steady, as if the one who just stumbled a moment ago was someone else entirely. He's a bit slower than normal, sometimes he'd raise his hand to rub his head. Yeah, maybe he is drunk. But to still keep his composure even while drunk is such a Yehua thing to do. There is no servant inside. I pull a chair and sit down myself. When I lift my head, his heavy eyes are already boring down in front of me. His eyes are very beautiful; on top of that they're greatly sharp. Within his eyes are deep quiet gleams perfectly suitable for his unsmiling face. So cold, like the supreme dignity of Jiuchongtian. I usually can say the right thing according to people's facial expressions. But today's proving a little difficult. We look at each other for a long time before I can see through the coldness a certain melancholy and degradation in his eyes. He turns his gaze to the side and remains silent. Then he turns his palm. I jerk in surprise and follow his hand. There suddenly appears a lantern. I ask, “This is the Piecing Soul Lantern? It looks kind of ordinary.” He gives the lantern to me and says with composure, “Place it in Dieyong's bed for three days. Remember to not let the light go out and Moyuan's soul will join back perfectly. Protect the light well so that nothing will affect it in those three days.”
I nod and say, “Of course I'll protect it well. I won't be careless.” He remains in silence for a little while and says, “I was excessively worried. When haven't you ever been careful when it comes to Moyuan.” Jiepo Deng is a holy treasure from the Heaven family. It should be honored somewhere in the Heaven Palace, in that full of rules and regulations Jiuchongtian. I'm a little suspicious that Yehua can keep the Jiepo Deng even though Tianjun is still alive and kicking. If I were to borrow it myself, I'd have to wipe all of their debts toward Qingqiu to bargain for it. I'm so touched that Yehua would let me borrow it so easily like this. I hold the lantern in my hands and say, “You've done me such a big favor. If there's anything at all I can help you with, I'll give it my best to help you.” He still sits, leaning on the chair. With a tired expression, he knits his brow and says, “There's nothing I want.” His expression is paining me. I awkwardly say, “There's really nothing you want? If you don't want anything then I'll leave now.” He instantly raises his head and looks at me for a long time, then with that same expression he unhurriedly says, “What do I want? The only thing I ever want is you.” His behavior has been suspicious throughout this evening. But for some reason I don't balk at his barf-inducing words. Instead, I find my heart moved by them. The words escape my lips before I can realize, and I want to swallow back my tongue for saying them. “You want to spend a night with me then?” I hasten out of the room with the lantern but before my feet can cross the door, he pulls me in for a back hug from behind. I turn my head back into the room. Bai Qian, Bai Qian, getting yourself into trouble again. The smell of alcohol from Yehua's body shoots straight into my nose. I then say yet another outrageous thing. “Let's not stay by the doorway. Why don't we head over to the bed?” When he lowers himself down, his long free hair tickles my face. I lift myself up and starts to remove his clothes. His eyes look deeply at me. He holds back my hands as I try to take off his belt. Suddenly in my head, there flashes an image of someone within a foggy veil. There seems to be a bamboo bed, and the man with beads of sweat forming on his head nears the woman's ear as he whispers, “It'll hurt a little, but don't be afraid.” I've lived for so long and have slept on many beds but I've never used a bamboo bed before. I can't see clearly the woman underneath either; it's as if there are clouds circling around.
Still lost in thought, I suddenly feel like there's something not quite right. I lift my eyes and look down. Ye gods, where have my clothes gone? He still lies on top of me. With burning flame blazing in his eyes, he casually tells me, “Your clothes are so hard to take off, so I used a bit of magic.” I laugh, “Isn't it because you can't wait?” The night pearl radiates a soft light inside the chamber. It filters through the curtain and shimmers on his fair skin. His complexion resembles the porcelain color of the tea set at Fox Cave. It's not too livid, there's even a heroic scar left by a deep blade cut running from his chest to his waist. Yep, Yehua has a pretty amazing body. His low voice murmurs by my ear, “You're right, I honestly can't wait.” I wake up in the middle of the night with a blank mind. The brightness from the night pearl seems to have been lowered by Yehua's magic. I'm being held snugly in his arms, my face pressed against his chest where his scar is. I think about last night and can only remember the sight of curtains above our heads. He entwines me until we fall asleep, and I seem to have heard him say one last thing, “Even if in my life I can only rightfully touch you this once. Regardless if it's because of the lantern, or because of Moyuan, I still don't have any regret.” I'm not sure how accurate these words are. Recently there appears many confusing things in my head so I don't even know if it was one of my hallucinations. Part 3 Yehua sleeps soundly. I suddenly woke up and can't go back to sleep. I gently caress the scar on his chest and recall a rumor. They said 300 years ago the Sea Dragon clan from the South Sea wanted to secede into its own kingdom. Nanhai Shuijun couldn't engage in war alone so he requested for help from Jiuchongtian. Tianjun decreed Yehua to command an army and quench the rebellion. But surprisingly the Sea Dragons were so powerful Yehua almost lost his life in Nanhai. I rarely left Qingqiu so I didn't know much about this story. As I think about that event, Yehua has woken up and softly asks me, “Aren't you tired? Why aren't you sleeping?” I could never hold back any question within my heart. I stroke the irritating scar on his chest and finally ask him. His hold on me becomes rigid. His voice floats away like the wind, “The result of that battle didn't matter. Their race was wiped out and I didn't get what I wanted either. We both lost.”
I tease him, “You almost lost your life in Nanhai. Since you brought back your life, you wanted special treatments?” He nonchalantly replies, “That's because I went easy on them at the last minute. How could they have injured me with their quickness?” A boom goes off in my head, “Went easy? You... you... purposely wanted to die?” His arms still holds onto me snugly, “I just wanted to deceive Tianjun.” “Ah, so you pretended to die.” Then I ask, surprised, “You didn't want to be Heaven's Crown Prince anymore? Why would you pretend to die?” He doesn't reply me. When I think he's finally fallen asleep, his voice sounds again, “Throughout my life I've never envied anyone... but I have to say I'm very envious of my second uncle Zangpi.” Yehua says, “Zangpi asked and he received. Although there were obstacles to begin with, the result was still a happy ending. Tianjun favored him at that point, but he didn't seem to want to crown him yet. Without that title to pin him down, he was able to get away so freely.” I shake his arm and say, “What about you?” He pauses then says, “Me? When I was born there were 72 rainbow birds dancing on the rooftop. Auspicious clouds shone brightly on the east sky for 3 years. They say the phenomenon was the exact same honor given to Moyuan when he was born. I was crowned Crown Prince the moment I came to life. Tianjun said I was the fated Crown Prince there has never been. They only needed to wait until I turn 50,000 when the crowning ceremony would take place. I knew too, since I was a child, that my future wife would be Bai Qian of Qingqiu.” He pulls me in closer and says, “If I fell in love with a woman who wasn't Qingqiu's Bai Qian, the only way out would be to deceive everyone about my death.” This nonsense conversation makes me sleepy. “Lucky for you the one you love is me, Bai Qian of Qingqiu.” When I'm almost asleep, he suddenly says, “If someone takes away your eyes and you can no longer see anything, Qianqian, will you be able to forgive him?” His words make no sense. I yawn and carelessly say, “There's no one in this world who would dare to take my eyes.” He remains silent for a long time. Then as I'm lulled into sleep, insists on asking again, “What if that person is me?”
I reach up to touch my eyes which are still obediently staying on my face. I don't know what's wrong with him today. I hug his arm, yawn, and give him a cursory answer, “Then our relation ends from here on out.” His body trembles next to me. After a long while, he pulls me in tightly and says, “Be a good girl and go to sleep.” I dream of a dream that night. In that dream I stand under a peach tree. Above me are blooming blossoms not unlike the ones at Zheyan's Shi Li Tao Hua. Among the colorful peach blossoms is a straw hut. Occasionally there rings chirping of birds from faraway. I run a few steps over to part the grass. A woman in white outfit stands next to a black-robed man who is combing his hair in front of the bronze mirror. Their backs are against me. Within the bronze mirror is a fuzzy reflection of the two. The sitting man says, “There will only be the two of us at our new home, with neither green mountain nor blue stream. Will you be able to live there?” The standing woman replies, “Can we plant peaches there? It'd be okay if we can. We can build our house from the peach wood, and tame our hunger with the fruits. But isn't it good here? You've only fixed our house a few days ago. Why are we moving elsewhere?” The man remains silent for a while and at last says, “That place and our mountain are a bit different. I'm not sure if we can plant peaches there. But if you want to plant some, then we'll try to plant some.” The woman stands in thought for some moment and all of a sudden bends down to hug the man's shoulders. He turns around and looks at her. They then kiss. I still can't see their faces too clearly. They kiss passionately, but since I want to see their faces and knowing that this is only a dream, I don't care to avoid the scene. I stand there with my eyes wide-open and see the couple leading each other over to bed. The next scene takes place at the entrance of the peach orchard. The black-robed man earnestly tells the white-robed woman, “Don't step out of this mountain for even half a step. You're carrying my child now, so my family will easily seek your trace. If you fall into their hands, we can't salvage our situation. I'll come back once I take care of things. Right, I've thought of a way to plant peaches.” He then takes from his sleeve a small bronze mirror and places it into the woman's hand, “If you feel lonely, look into the mirror and call my name. If I'm not busy I'll talk to you. Remember, don't leave the peach orchard.” The woman nods her head. Only until his shadow disappears does she softly sighs and says, “We've bowed to Heaven and Earth at Donghuang but you won't bring me back to your family. It's like I'm someone's mistress. Now we're even on the run with a
baby inside; how tiring. I don't know what's going on.” Then she shakes her head and turns back toward the house. I shake my head too. I can tell they're a mortal and a fairy in love. From the beginning of time such romance has rarely worked out. She wobbles back inside. The scene before my eyes whirls and changes again. Still the same peach orchard, but the blossoms have withered by half. The low moon hangs between the entwined branches. A sense of bygone time which makes one melancholic. The white-robed woman holds up the bronze mirror as she calls out a name softly. I can only see fuzzy images, not her face, just moving lips. The sound is also soft and unclear. She wobbles and heads outside. My heart lurches. Forgetting that I'm still in a dream, I run after her and warn, “Didn't your husband tell you not to leave the peach orchard?” But she doesn't hear my warning, and keeps running outside. Ten steps outside of the peach orchard is a thick force field. In theory it should be able to barricade mortals from the other side. But the woman's steps are immensely determined. She stubbornly passes the encasement without a slight obstruction. Just like that she has gone out. Two flashes of light strikes down from above. I jerk myself awake. Part 4 When I wake up the morning sun has already shone bright. There's no one in the room; there is only the Jiepo Deng lying neatly on the bed. Because of the blue curtains, I realize I'm not sleeping on Yehua's bed, but my own at Qinglou. Yehua's always careful with everything he does. When I wake up to the morning light, it has shone a jade beam into my eyes. Now I can see clearly in my heart what I previously did not. Last night when I slept with Yehua, it was me who initiated it. Except for the initial pain, it was a rather delightful experience. When he holds me, I feel happy. Like fourth brother said, it seems like I've crossed the boundary of age and fell for Yehua. This thing called love is indeed not something one can avoid just because one wants to. No wonder I didn't think anyone was good enough to become his mistress. If Yehua and I are both in love, then this betrothal doesn't need to be broken off anymore.
Before taking the Jiepo Deng to Fu Ying Palace, I want to stop by Yehua's manor and see him first. I want to tell him that he doesn't need to worry about his coronation ceremony because of me. I have my breakfast as planned, pass by Fu Ying Palace as planned, and head over to Yehua's manor as planned. But my timing was still wrong. The two maids outside his manor inform me, “His Highness has gone to Heaven from early this morning.” I return to Fu Ying Palace and light the lantern at the headboard of Dieyong's bed. I stay by his bedside for three days. I then plan to take a trip to Yingzhou in Donghai in search for the magic herbs. There's really nothing to prepare; my own body is slowly recuperating itself. I return to Qinglou and tell the maids to lock the gate. Then I put up a force shield around my room and drop dead on the bed. My slumber lasts for six days. When I finally wake up, I head out to say goodbye to Xihai Shuijun. But before I could step out of the door, two maids quickly tell me, “You're awake. Master Zheyan has waited for you these two days.” Have I been a fragrant desert or what? So many people came to find me these days. Fourth brother, Yehua, Xihai Shuijun, not to mention Xihai Shuijun's wife, and now Zheyan who has came to see me twice. What does he want from me this time? I step downstairs and see Zheyan looking up at me. He waves me over and says, “Come sit here, quick.” He looks at me from head to toes and says, “Moyuan's restoration must be going well from the way you look. Yesterday I also successfully made a pill so I'm dropping by to give it to you. Use it well.” He places a white pill in my palm. I bring it to my nose and takes a sniff. There's a fragrance of the magic herbs. I widen my eyes and say, “Hey hey hey. Did you use your life energy to make this pill? How did you know I want to use my own life energy to give to Moyuan?” Then I study him, “You went to Yingzhou but you weren't injured by the four guarding animals?” He lightly coughs and says, “What? You still want to use your own life to help Moyuan? If I still remember, you were gravely injured that time you sealed away Jingshang. You lost so much of your energy already. Lucky for you I made this pill.” Then he turns the
teacup around in his hand and says, “Since the first deity raised me, I have to repay his fostering. He only had two children. The younger one is no longer alive, so I have to help the remaining older one.” My eyes well up as I quickly take the pill and thank him. He receives my thanks without saying anything. He only sighs softly. He looks at me for a while more, seemingly wanting to tell me something but decides against it, then he smiles and says, “I have to go now. Let Dieyong eat when he feels a little better. I don't know how he'll react to this pill, so you should stay close to monitor him.” I nod my head and watch him leave the great hall. I let Dieyong have Zheyan's pill. Although his body is weak, he's not doing as poorly as Zheyan has predicted. At most he only stays in bed for about 7 days. I walk toward him to check how he is absorbing the pill. When I near the bed, he's grabbed my hand. His facial expression seems complicated as he asks me, “You've stayed beside me ever since I fell asleep?” I nod my head and says, “Are you still feeling unwell somewhere?” He doesn't reply and instead asks, “I heard you're a homosexual?” How great that Donghai Shuijun is. Such gossips have traveled all the way to Xihai. But such things have always been ambiguous. I decide to battle disturbance with calm and slowly remove my hand, “I also heard you're a homosexual?” He furrows his brow and says, “Yes. Even though I'm a homosexual, my type is still not someone like you.” I read his pulse as I reply out of courtesy, “You're refined and frail yourself so of course you wouldn't like someone with my appearance. You'd probably love someone more like Yehua.” I only said it thoughtlessly, but surprisingly his face flushes red as his eyes quickly shift elsewhere. My heart slightly tugs as my pulse-reading hand trembles, “You...the person you long for is Lord Yehua?” He turns to look at me with guilt, “It can't be helped. I'm thankful for your feelings. If the maids hadn't told me you've guarded by my bedside these nights, I wouldn't have known.
I was comfortable with your care because I thought you were with His Highness. That thing between you and His Highness, is it true? His Highness doesn't dislike homos then?” For half a day, I become bewildered at this gay love triangle Dieyong has concocted. At length, I bite my lip and says, “Of course he dislikes them. I've used everything I know to seduce him and he still rejected me. That's why I've transferred my affection to you.” His blushing face momentarily turns white. I've always known Yehua's a ladies man, but it turns out he's giving troubles to the men as well. Fourth brother was right. This year has been a headache-giving year. Hmm, it's best not to let Yehua come to the West Sea anymore. Dieyong's pulse is stable; his breathing is also light. But to be sure, I feel it's best to use the Soul Seeking art to check and see if Zheyan's energy is as good as I hope it would be. The last time we met, there was only a frail energy sustaining him. This time the energy that is nourishing him is extremely strong. I myself can't near his spirit. Such a powerful energy must have been cultivated for many thousands of years. It seems the time for Moyuan to wake up is coming soon. However... the life energy that is nourishing Moyuan isn't Zheyan's. So powerful yet also tranquil, immense yet closed-up. I suddenly feel cold inside, finally realizing why Zheyan didn't come back with even one scar from Yingzhou. Of course he's never gone to Yingzhou. And he's never fought with the guarding animals. I know he's rarely serious, and lies more often than not, but he's never once done so to harm someone. Maybe he wanted to tell me, that in reality, this pill was made by Yehua. Then what made him lie? Is it because... it can't be... I try my best to concentrate and leave Dieyong's soul. I wobbled into the teacup on the table. The tea inside hasn't completely spilled when I coughed out two puffs of blood. My heart beats loudly within my chest. My legs give in against one leg of the table. Next to them is the shattered teacup. Dieyong rubs his head as he sits up. He confusedly asks me, “What's wrong?” I reluctantly smile and push myself up from the support of the table, “You're rid of your ailment. Just rest well with the care of your servants. Please tell the Water Lord I've got urgent business that requires me to go back to the Peach Orchard.” Chapter 20 Part 1
I can still remember a young woman called Xiao Zhouyin (?) at the water estate next to our home. She was left by her husband in the past. Fourth brother and I sympathized with her unfortunate fate. Fourth brother used to lift my face up to study it and tell me, “You're as weak as Xiao Zhouyin but your looks aren't half bad. Even if your husband leaves you, you'll be able to marry again.” But fourth brother was unworried too soon. After 10,000 years I come to realize one's fate in romance has nothing to do with one's looks. Fourth brother placed too much expectation on me. I count on my fingers and this nothalf-bad-looking girl has only met five love blossoms. The first blossom is the 9th Prince of the Bi Yi Bird clan (see comment section for explanation). He came with his parents to visit Qingqiu and instantly fell for a 20,000 years old brat. When he left, he lingered behind his parents and gave me two of his feathers as a promise present. He quietly told me he'd ride on rainbow clouds to come marry me when he was more grown up. The feathers on his body were of two colors: red and blue. I thought them pretty so I instantly accepted them, feeling it wouldn't be a bad idea to marry into the bird family. But not long after, Migu came with a gossip. He said the bird clan can't marry out of their race, and the 9th Prince caused a huge riot by starving himself to keep his promise to me. His parents couldn't stand such a scene so while he was asleep, they drugged him with aphrodisiac and took him to the bed of an notable maiden within the bird clan. Hah, he wronged me and couldn't ride on rainbow clouds to come for me anymore. I took his two feathers and bunched them together with pheasant ones to make a feather duster. The second blossom is the 2nd prince Lijing of the Demon clan. We had a few days of sweetness. Then he and Xuan'nu that repulsive thing to betray me behind me back. The third blossom is Zangpi, the 2nd son of Tianjun. This one was an arranged marriage forced onto me by my parents. But my fate doesn't have a place for this romance so when Zangpi came to Qingqiu, he fell for my maid and left with her. My fourth one is my 4th brother's riding bird Bifang. But Bifang hid his feelings so well. When he finally thought it through, I was already engaged. These first four blossoms withered before they could bloom. There was only a good one, but it was only good in appearance. The last blossom is Yehua. I'm quite sad I couldn't meet this future husband of mine during my most youthful days. I take the cloud and fly from Xihai directly to Jiuchongtian. The breeze is gentle and cool today. There appears to be the scent of lotus flowers within it.
I hastily push the door to his study open, then hastily lock it, then hastily push aside the curtain. These hurried movements of mine are as fluid as they come, but since I didn't pay attention, I run into the two flower vases on the floor causing a loud sound to be made. Yehua lifts his head away from the documents on his desk and smiles as he rubs his temple. “What brought you to my study today?” His face is no longer blanched white as it was at the Water Palace of Xihai, but it nevertheless has gotten gaunt. I'm not as naïve as I used to be. Ultimately I realize if someone insists to you he isn't a good person, you won't be able to find a bad trait from him. I step forward two steps and come before him, wanting to grab his wrist for some pulsechecking. He swiftly retracts his smile and reaches out to grab my robe. He knits his brow as he asks me, “What is this?” I lower my head, “Oh, it's nothing. I used the Soul Seeking technique on Xihai's eldest prince and a lapse in concentration caused me to cough a couple of times.” He pushes the chair and gets up, then turns to pour more tea. He says as he pours, “I know you want to wholeheartedly care for Moyuan but you should take care of yourself too. Wouldn't it be bad if you fall sick when Moyuan wakes up?” My gaze follows his figure as I reply, “Try guessing what I saw when I entered the 1 st Prince of the West Sea's soul?” He turns back and gives me the cup in his hand, his head tilts as he asks, “How's Moyuan?” I take his teacup and angrily says, “So how did those four beasts guarding the magic herbs look? The pill Zheyan gave me was made by you, wasn't it? How much life energy do you have left?” His expression remains ever constant. He smiles vaguely and says, “Oh, was there such a thing? Tianjun told me to visit Donghai some time ago. When I passed by Yingzhou I suddenly remembered that you wanted to pick some magic herbs so I went down for some on my way. Those beasts you talked about weren't so great. If they were a bit faster, I'd have captured one back for you to train so you won't be bored during your free time. You seem free these days too.” The things he says sound so easy, but I still remember my father brought back numerous injuries when he returned from Yingzhou. I hear my voice sounding again, “Then what about that pill? How many years of life energy did it cost you? You asked Zheyan to bring it to me. Why are you still lying to me?”
He lifts his brow and says with a surprised look, “Oh, was that so? Then Zheyan didn't tell you I made that pill?” Then he smiles again, “I shouldn't have entrusted these things to him. He stole all my credit.” As he turns the pages of the documents on his desk, he continues, “I was born with more life energy than most immortals. Tianjun also transferred a bit more to me. Making that pill wasn't a big deal.” I look at his right hand which is hanging limply within his sleeve and softly say, “Why do you only use your left hand when you pour tea and turn documents today? Shouldn't you move your right hand around a little?” His left hand which is turning the document suddenly stops. But it was only for a second before he resumes that not-too-slow, not-too-fast turning motion. He nonchalantly says, “Mmm, the vile beast took a chomp because I was careless. It's my right hand so I'm in a bit of discomfort. But there's no problem. The physician took a look and said it'll heal within a month.” He said Tianjun gave him a bit of life energy. But naturally there has to be a reason for Tianjun to have done so. He most likely lost all his energy after he jumped down Zhuxian Tai so whatever Tianjun gave him was only to replace what he has lost. It couldn't have been more than the original 50,000 years worth. I know the energy that is nourishing Moyuan right now has to be at least 40,000 years worth. Then that thing he said about the small chomp the beast left on his arm. We all know what kind of beast it is. One bite can take away both flesh and bone. There's no one who will say its one bite is inconsequential. But I know he's putting on this act to comfort me. To not disappoint him, I can only pretend that he's successfully deceived me through my pained heart. “How good to hear. That's really good. Now I can finally be at ease.” He lifts his brow and smiles, “There's nothing for you to worry about. But the eldest prince of Xihai might still be in a little danger from the pill. Choosing this time to come to Heaven, aren't you afraid of complications?” His words are too eloquent; he's clearly trying to kick his guest out. His face which was normal just now is turning fatigued. He probably can't keep it up any longer. Because of his pride, I pretend to have waken by his reminder and yells out loudly, “Oh that's right! How did I forget? I have to leave now, you should rest well.” These words only make my heart throbs in pain. I decide to return to Qingqiu and find out the details on Yehua's injuries from Zheyan. Part 2
When I worriedly come back, Zheyan isn't at Qingqiu. Fourth brother told me he's gone back the Peach Orchard. I summon a cloud and head on over to Shi Li Tao Hua. When I finally see Zheyan by the Piyao pond behind the mountain, it is only noon. But he starts babbling on nonstop and by the time we get to Yehua's story, the moon has climbed up high. It was half a month ago on the 11th of June when he and fourth brother were stopped on their moon-gazing walk by two fairies from Heaven. They were on Tianjun's orders to solicit Zheyan's help in saving someone. The Heavenly physician is always around in Heaven so if they've come that far to invite Zheyan, it must have been a grave matter. The geezer isn't hugely fond of Tianjun but he left with the fairies anyway in order to pocket a debt of favor from Tianjun. When he got to Jiuchongtian, he finally found out the person Tianjun wanted him to save is the son-in-law of our family, Yehua. When he saw Yehua, he was still in a precarious situation if not a hopeless one. His right arm was already eaten by the beast; there was only an empty sleeve. His life energy was reduced to about 10 to 20 thousand years. When he gets to this part of the story, he says with some sadness, “This husband of yours, so young yet so meticulous. I heard that he submitted a report to Tianjun some days ago, saying that the existence of the magic herbs in Yingzhou are violating the immortal orders of laws, asking to go there and destroy them. It all sounded so reasonable that Tianjun agreed. After two days, there were news that Yingzhou has submerged under the East Sea. Tianjun was incredibly elated. But then he came back the next day with a serious wound. At first I thought his life energy depreciated due to the four beasts, but when he secretly gave me the magic pill, I knew those beasts didn't gain anything else from him beside his arm. He looks so gaunt because right after he got the herbs, he immediately used his energy to generate the pill. I already gave him some medicine, so don't be too worried about that injury of his. He's only lost that arm, he should be okay with some rest. Hah, but it's not really lost. Look at the arm I created for him. He can't use it now but after about 10,000 years he'll gain some sense in it.” The moonlight shines onto us from above, large and round, cold and distant. Zheyan sighs and says, “He was worried about you that's why he asked me to give the pill to you. He thought since he's your husband, he should help as much as he can to repay what you owe Moyuan. He was afraid you wouldn't use it if you knew it took all his life energy. You've always been the careless one, who knew you would examine the 1st Prince's soul after letting him take the pill. I truly admire Yehua's strong will, always wanting to take on everything by himself.” Then he sighs once more and adds, “To kill
all four beasts at just 50,000 yrs old, his legacy in the future will be unimaginable. But it's such a regret about his gone life energy.” My throat suddenly tightens. My heart plunges. Zheyan wants to keep me at his place for the night but I thank his good intention. I can only sit and watch Yehua even if I come to him now. But even so, I still want to be next to him at once. I turn myself into a firefly and fly pass the sleeping tigers outside of Tiannan Gate. Zishen Palace is pitch dark. I fall down and hit a chair in my carelessness. The palace instantly lights up at the sound. Yehua is sitting on his bed, on his body is a white silk robe. He looks at me perplexedly. I've only ever seen him with either black clothings or no clothings. But he looks dashing in this thin white robe as well. That long flowing black hair of his is also dashing, quite. After staring at me for some moment, he furrows his brow and says, “Aren't you supposed to be at the West Sea watching over their prince? What are you doing in my room in the middle of the night? Did something happen to Dieyong?” This browfurrowing look of his is also too dashing. I laugh and say, “Dieyong's fine. I remember that you're still hurt so I came over in case you need someone to help you pour tea.” Yehua has spent so much effort to deceive me for my peace of mind. Thus it's best if I continue this charade. He looks at me with a bewildered expression then smiles and pats on his bed, “Qianqian, come here.” My ears burn hot the moment his voice rings out. I clear my throat and say, “I don't think that's such a good idea. Let me sleep at the little dough's place tonight. Why don't you rest. I'll come see you tomorrow.” I haven't exited his room when the palace turns dark again. One step forward and my leg has run into a chair. Yehua pulls me in from behind. “I can only hold you with one arm right now. So if you don't want to, you can always go.” My mother taught me countless times the proper behavior I should display as a bride. She said as a new bride, when my husband wants to make love, I should gently reject him to give off the appearance of shyness and modesty. I thought clearing my throat was clearly a sign of “gentle rejection” but Yehua didn't pay much attention to it. Unfortunately my mother didn't teach me what next to do when my husband doesn't accept that “gentle rejection.”
Yehua's loose hair tickles my ears. I become flustered, then at length finally turn around to hug him. “I'll only take half of your bed, okay?” He coughs mockingly and says, “How can you take up half of my bed with your size?” I bashfully push him away and come to bed. I take off the outer layer of my outfit and crawl under the blanket. I stay all the way in the top corner. When Yehua comes near, I back away toward the inside. He lies too far away from me that his portion of the blanket keeps sliding away. He pulls it back toward his side when only one corner remains with him. But the blanket is so small that eventually he's taken everything from me. It's a July night in the middle of summer, but Heaven still feels very cold. I also took off the outer layer of my dress so if I continue to sleep like this, he'll be the one to take care of me in the morning instead of the other way around. I inch toward him a little, then a little more. He turns and backs to the outer edge. I continue to inch over. I keep scooting over but I still can't reach the blanket. As I move once more, he suddenly turns around and I roll into his embrace. His left hand holds me tightly, “Do you want to stay in my arms under the blanket or do you want to sleep in the corner without any covering?” I tell him, “Or we could both sleep in the corner with the blanket.” My mind was clearly not working when I said these words. He tightens his hug and laughs, “That's not a bad idea either.” That night we entwine each other like a pair of birds and sleep soundly in a bed corner. Even though we curl ourselves into a corner, my sleep is peaceful within Yehua's embrace. In my subconscious, I can still hear him say, “Do you know? You're not like anyone else. You can't stand to owe anyone anything.” He's right. I can never owe anyone anything, so I enthusiastically agree to a few things even in my sleepiness. But I can't remember what exactly it was that I agreed to. In the middle of the night I startled awake at the sound of his coughing. He tip-toes up and fix the blanket on me, then hastily pushes the door outside. I listen to his movements but can only hear suppressed coughs. If I didn't have my fox ears, I wouldn't have heard these sounds of his. I softly stroke the spot on the bed where his warmth still lingers. A bitter sensation rises within me. He remains outside for a while before coming back. I pretend to be asleep so well that when he crawls back into bed, he hasn't discovered that I'm awake. I can smell the light scent of blood within the air. I lean into him and wait for him to fall asleep before crawling back into his embrace. I reach my arms out to hold him. The more I hug him, the worse I feel. Then at long length I finally doze off. The next morning when I arise, he seems completely normal. It makes me think I was making things up in my own pain and saw a dream instead.
But I know too, that it wasn't a dream. As I stay with Yehua, I come to miss the little dough. The Buddha is giving a lecture in Lingshan so Shengyu Yuanjun has dragged him away to join the fun. I'm worried that the little dough is so young he'd be bored with the Buddha's wisdom. Yehua disagrees and tells me, “He only went to the West Sky because he wants to eat sugarcanes from Lingshan. On top of that he has Shengyu with him. Even if the rest of the immortals nod off, he won't be the one to fall asleep.” Since I worry about Yehua, I want to stay near to him. Yilan Fanghua is a bit far away from Zishen Palace, farther than Qingyun Palace is. Furthermore it was the place his deceased wife stayed at, so I elected to stay at Qingyun Palace. At first I had to wake up early in the morning and feel my way over to Zishen Palace. I'd help him put on his clothes and eat breakfast with him. Because I'm never up so early in my life, sometimes I'd let out a yawn here and there. Then one day, as I try my best to wake myself up from my dream, I see Yehua half sitting, half-lying next to me reading a book. My head is lying on his unmoving right arm. His left hand holds a strategy book. When he sees me, he turns the page and says, “It's still dark outside. Go back to sleep, I'll wake you up when it's daytime.” It's a little embarrassing to say, but from then on I never have to wake up early to come to his palace anymore. It's him who wakes up early to come to the little dough's place. Breakfast is also brought from Zishen Palace to Qingyun Palace. Part 3 When we were in Qingqiu, Yehua would drag me on his walks around the bamboo grove near the Fox Cave. He'd ask me what I want for lunch, then we'd discuss it over and when we pass by Migu's house, we'd ask him to to the grocery shopping. These days in Heaven, Yehua doesn't have to worry about his food, so he develops a new hobby. While walking he'd want to listen to what I read the previous day. I only read these novels o kill time. Usually I'd forget all the character names after I laid it down. I would only remember the basic plot. But from the time Yehua picks up this new interest, I pay more attention to what I read so that I can tell him the next day. Only after a few days, my storytelling gets quite a lot more eloquent. I'm rather talented if I may say so. The lecture on Lingshan ends on the 17th of July. The little dough should be coming back to Heaven soon.
The 17th of July. Cool breeze blows through the air. The cassia tree on the moon is blooming early, its fragrance spreading all over Jiuchongtian. I sit with Yehua in the pavilion next to the Yao Pond. On the roof hangs several lanterns. There's also a lamp on the stone table. Yehua holds a brush in his left hand, drawing a strategy map under the light. When I was studying at Kunlun under Moyuan, it took me 20,000 years to learn this mapping art. I thought it was the most horrible course. Looking at these maps not only gives me headaches, it gives me body aches. I end up only admiring Yehua's painting hand for a bit then lean against the chair and close my eyes to rest. I've just blinked my eyes when the little dough's clear voice calls to me from afar, “Mom, mom.” I stand up to look; it really is the little dough. He's wearing a jade green outfit. His tiny hands are grabbing hold of a sack on his shoulder. It looks quite heavy. The sack on his shoulder is making his walk unsteady. Yehua pauses and walks over to the stairs to look. I left my chair too and unhurriedly comes over to see him. When he's about 10 steps away from us, he yells out a loud “Mom!” I call back to him. His small chubby body slowly slumps down as he carefully sets the sack onto the ground. He wipes the sweats on his face and shouts, “Mom, mom, A Li brought back sugarcanes from Lingshan for you. I chopped them myself...” Then after some thought, he says, “A Li chose the roundest canes... hahahaha” Then he grabs the sack and pulls it toward us with all his might. I want to come over and help but Yehua stops me, “Let him pull it over himself.” I pay all my attention to the little dough so I didn't realize there's another person appearing next to the flowering bushes. This person is also holding a sack in his hand, although it's a lot smaller than the one the dough is pulling. He steps over to us. Under the lantern's light is a stunningly fair face. The little dough says from behind, “Zhu Shengyu, that's my mom. Isn't she pretty?” Shengyu Yuanjun looks at me dazedly then pinches himself, “Your Highness, can I touch Her Ladyship just once...?” Yehua clears his throat. I'm stunned. Even though Shengyu is donning a male outfit, his voice is soft and mild. His chest also protrudes in its heaving. There's nothing about him that makes him a man. So this Shengyu Yuanjun is actually a female Yuanjun.
Yehua still hasn't replied when the little dough swiftly runs over and shields me. “Third grandpa still haven't got rid of your bad habit of wanting to touch new things? My mom belongs to my father. Only Father can touch her. What are you talking about?” Yehua softly laughs. I shift my gaze to the lantern hanging on the pavilion's roof. Shengyu's face turns green as she wistfully says, “I've lived for so long yet this is only the first time I see a female High Deity. Can't I touch just once?” The little dough scoffs. Shengyu continues her sad expression, “Only one touch, just one, is that even too much?” The little dough scoffs again. Shengyu brings a handkerchief to her face and wipes her tears, “I was still so young when for no reason I had to ascend Heaven and become a fairy. I'm bothered by His Highness the 3rd Prince all the time and got old in misery. There's nothing I really wish for. My only wish is to meet a female High Deity and give her a touch. But even that small wish can't come true. Siming (the god of fate) is so horrible to me.” She looks so miserable, her parents might have died. The wheels in my head is spinning. That 3rd Prince she mentioned should be the little dough's 3rd grandpa, or Zangpi's younger brother, Yehua's 3rd uncle Liansong. The little dough releases a deep breath and looks at me. Then he looks at his father, and after declining for a while, finally says, “Fine, go ahead. But just one touch okay?” Yehua shoots Shengyu a glance and turns back to the map on his stone desk. He holds the brush and softly says, “Fooling around in front of me, teasing my wife, deceiving my kid, Shengyu, you're gaining quite a legacy these days.” Shengyu instantly retracts her happily raised hand, not having even the chance to touch my robe. The little dough pulls the heavy sack into the pavilion and slowly opens it. There really are sugar canes, chopped into pieces. He brings to me a round one and another just as round to his father. But since Yehua's left hand is holding the brush, and his right one is crippled, he can't take the cane. The little dough tip-toes to hug his father's unfeeling arm. Tears fall from his eyes as he wails, “What's wrong with your arm? How can you hold A Li anymore?!” My nose burns. Zheyan said his arm will take 10,000 years to regain its sense. He's now trying deceive the little dough and me, and acts as if it's nothing important. Since I'm acting this play alongside with him, I also have to pretend it's no big deal. Everything has
already happened. Grieving won't bring any use. I think to myself, that from now on, I'll be his right hand. Yehua lays the brush down and hugs the dough in one arm, “I can still hold you with this one arm. A boy shouldn't cry at every little thing.” Then he glances at me and smiles, “Although I think melancholic maidens are beautiful, you look painful being so sad. The other day I felt some sense in this arm again, don't worry so much.” I sigh inwardly and put on a happy face, “Of course I know your arm will recover in no time. I just didn't know if it will be as dexterous as before. You painted such good portraits. But if you can't paint anymore, we might have to ask outsiders to paint for us in the future.” He lowers his head and laughs. He lets the little dough go and says, “My left hand is even more dexterous than my right one. It's not a problem even if I don't have my right one. How about I draw one for you right this instance?” I breathe out in relief. No wonder he's the heir Tianjun picks out. Aside from fighting and killing, he also has this extra talent. Shengyu instantly brings back paper, brushes, ink, and stand. I hold the little dough as Yehua wants and sit on the chair. I wave Shengyu over and tell her to sit down next to me so that Yehua can paint her into the picture. The little dough wriggles in my arms. Yehua kits his brow and says nothing. He paints as he sadly smiles at me. Behind his smile is a dark sky. There's only a glimmer of light coming from the candles. My ears start to burn red. Although his right hand cannot move, his painting posture still doesn't lose any of its elegance. Yeah, my perception in choosing a husband is perfect. When the painting is finished, the little dough has leaned into my chest and slept for many hours. Shengyu runs over to see. Not daring to get upset, she only whimpers and says, “I sat for so long. Your Highness should've at least drawn the corner of my robe or something.” I, too, walk over with the dough to take a look. Yehua's left hand isn't worse than his right one. If 2nd brother can see this talent of his, they'd become best friends. My slight movement rouses the little dough awake. He blinks then slides down from my arms. He takes a look at the painting and whimpers, “Shengyu, how come you're not in here?”
Shengyu miserably shoots a glance at him. I pat her shoulder and condole her, “Yehua's strength hasn't been too good the past few days. He could only use one hand to draw this much so he's a bit tired. Please understand.” Shengyu covers her mouth with her right hand and gently coughs, “L...losing his strength?” Yehua stops in the middle of cleansing his brush. The jade brush in his hand breaks into two. Cough cough, wrong word choice. The little dough is rather stupid as well when he looks at Shengyu with utmost innocence and asks, “What does it mean to lose your strength? Does it mean he can hold me but not mom?” I awkwardly gives out a laugh and start to back away. Before I can completely leave, the sky has turned on me. When my sense returns, I'm already on Yehua's shoulder. He turns and delegates to Shengyu, “Clear these things on the table then bring A Li back to his palace and let him rest.” Shengyu obeys. The little dough brings his tiny hands to his eyes and yells out, “Deflowering fiend, deflowering fiend!” Shengyu jolts and quickly covers the dough's mouth with his hand. Part 4 His breathing remains constant even with me over his shoulder. The maids in his palace hastily retreats as they see this scene. The last one to leave helps us close the door even though her cheeks were burning red. He was ever gentle when we were at the Water Palace at the West Sea. But for some reason he's a bit rougher tonight. He drops me onto the bed. My head rests on his right hand while my body stays in his left. He finds his way to my mouth and nibbles it. His soft bite didn't hurt me at all but I don't want him to have the upper hand. Just as I'm about to bite him back, his lips already graze over to my ear. He nibbles on my ear. I hear myself give out two small gasps. My gasps also came from the fact that his lips are now moving downward. He finally comes to a barrier – the red dress I'm wearing. My second sis-in-law gifted me this dress when she came to visit the Fox Cave. I don't know how precious the silk is. All I know is
that it's as hard to take off as it is to put on. But with just one working hand, he is able to take off my dress in all the correct order. In a blink of the eyes, the yards of fabric on my body has been removed and thrown all over the floor. Although he easily took off my clothes, he's now having a hard time removing his own. I finally sit up to help him. He grins. I've only just removed his outer layer when he nears me and latches his lips onto my neck. My fingers turn to mush as I sloppily tug away his clothes. He buries his head in my chest, softly kisses my scars with alternating forces. My hands wrap around his neck. His black loose hair slips through my hands. I look up with shallow breaths. He whispers in my ears, “Are you uncomfortable?” He says these words with the gentlest voice but his hands are already moving down my back. He hesitates a little before moving further down. His usually cold hands now sear me. All the places he touches feel like they're melting away. His lips graze over my chin. I clamp my mouth shut to stop the breathings that are getting shallower from escaping. His lips move to the corner of my mouth and softly brush over my lips. He suddenly bites my lower lip to make me open up my mouth. I hate how he takes advantage of me so I offensively attack back, plunging my tongue into his mouth. He becomes stunned for a moment and instantly slinks his hand underneath my waist. Just a slight brush of the hand and I instantly tremble in excitement. My tongue forgets what it was doing. By the time I come back to reality, he's already gotten the upper-hand back. I become heated with this push and pull play but I have no idea how long his foreplay is going to last. When his tongue leaves my mouth, I hurry him, “You... can't you be quicker?” He grins and says, “I can't move my arm. Qianqian, can you move up a little?” His deep husky voice is pleasing to my ears. My mind has become blank. I do as he say and move up a little. I hold onto him tightly as he slowly comes in. My fingernails dig into his skin. He growls in pretend annoyance and whispers into my ears, “Trim your fingernails tomorrow.” Afterward I lean against Yehua. He leans over and gently strokes my hair, thinking about I know not what. That emptiness in my mind isn't anymore peaceful, it's still a thick blob. Then I suddenly remember something important. Fourth brother was right. I'm really so forgetful, truly one of a kind. I came to Jiuchongtian to care for Yehua. After nursing him for this long I forgot all about the one thing I need to tell him.
I turn and sit up, resting on hands on Yehua. I look intently into his eyes and say, “Do you still remember in Xihai when I said I wanted to break off our engagement?” His body suddenly goes rigid, his eyelids fallen, “Yes.” I quickly leans over and gives him a soft kiss. With my nose against his, I say, “I didn't know my own heart then. Don't keep those words in your heart. We don't need to break off our engagement anymore now that we're both in love. I had some free time when I was in Xihai so I look up auspicious dates. The 2nd of September is good for weddings, moving, slaughtering, basically it's good for everything. Do you want to directly tell your granddad Tianjun that we'll have our wedding on the 2nd of September?” His eyelids suddenly lift up. The dark pupils reflect my face within. At length he asks with a hoarse voice, “Just now, what did you say?” I think about my words again and feel that I haven't said anything wrong. Perhaps according to their Heavenly rules, it might not be proper for Yehua himself to come to Tianjun and talk about our marriage? I ponder some more and turn to look at him, “I was thoughtless. Maybe it's not formal if you were to do it. How about I ask my parents? Our marriage is after all an important thing, maybe it's better to let the adults discuss the details.” As soon as I finish my words, he has fiercely embraced me. I whimper in pain. He gently pulls me into his chest and stays still for a long time. Then he asks, “Say it again. What did you want me to do?” I'm a little surprised. Haven't I just told him what I want him to do? As I'm about to explain to him again, something clicks in my head. Cough cough. Is Yehua trying to get me to confess to him? His long hair flows freely over my body. Those deep black eyes which resemble the surface of a lake carry a hint of passion in them. My face blushes. The words on the tip of my tongue which I had wanted to rein back slip out as if something has mesmerized me. I reply, “I love you. I want to be with you always.” He says nothing. Qingqiu girls are always this straightforward. We say what is true. But Yehua grew up in Jiuchongtian, did he not like me saying these things with no reservation? As anxiety nags at me, he suddenly turns and places me underneath him, his body pressed against mine. I wrap around his back tightly in his firm embrace. He gently nibbles my ear, his head lowers as he tries to control his voice, “Qianqian, give birth to another child for me.” There's something wrong with these words, but I can't pinpoint exactly what.
The night surges and falls. I only get some sleep when the Morning God wakes up. I finally understand for the first time the meaning behind those words “a short spring night.” Part 5 When I wake up, the chamber is still pitch black. Yehua is still in deep sleep. I feel utterly happy to be able to see him the moment I wake. I inch forward and watch closely his handsome face. His face looks so much like my teacher Moyuan's. I still haven't gotten over mistakening him for Moyuan. But a closer look tells me there's a little difference. Like Moyuan's eyes aren't as dark as his, and aren't deep like a pond's bottom as his. Moyuan's usual solemn expression makes it impossible for me to not revere him. On the other hand, Yehua's daily expression is making my heart palpitate whenever I look at him recently. After looking at him for a long time, I find myself sleepy again. As I turn to sleep some more, his hand already slithers around my body. With closed eyes, he says, “Look more if you want to. Then when you're tired of looking, lean into me and stay in bed a little longer. The wall isn't going to be as warm as me.” My ears burn red. “There was a mosquito on your face. I just wanted to catch it for you. Your talking made it fly away.” He “Mmm” and says, “Yeah, but if you still have enough energy left to help me catch mosquitoes, then...” with just one movement he already pulls me close to his body, “let's go for another round? “I still want to sleep. But my body feels icky so I can't fall asleep. Why don't we ask for some water and wash ourselves then go back to sleep?” He sits up and drapes a robe around himself, calling the maid to bring some water. After one night Yehua's wounds seem to have healed a lot. I think to myself that I should lessen the medical herbs in his tea from now on. This betrothal of ours, when Tianjun decreed it, there was no proper promise gifts. Now that I've fallen in love, I'm planning on a day for my father to hasten things along with Tianjun. Hmm, the best date would be the second of September. Yehua doesn't have much of his life energy left currently. I'm afraid he'll have to face the 9 lightning bolts and 81 fire strikes for his coronation. Everyone who becomes the next Tianjun has always taken this trial. I want us to wed quickly so I can take the trial for him. But how will I deceive him and keep him away when that time comes? Yehua isn't as easy to deceive as I was when I was young.
I think and think. After we washed, I fall asleep again. I thought I've planned everything out but when I wake, the conversation with Yehua ends up ruining my plans. He holds me close to him and dejectedly says September 2 nd won't do. Our wedding will need to wait at least two months. He needs to descend to the mortal world in these two months as a punishment for killing the four beasts. That wasn't part of Tianjun's order; he was only supposed to destroy the magic herbs. But although it's only several months away from Yehua, I still can't take it. My feelings for him give me both sweetness and distress. Yehua says, “Will you wait two months for me?” I count on my fingers, “You'll go down there in early August and stay there for two months. Hmm, then let's move the wedding to October. There will be peach blossoms in October so it'll be a good timing as well.” Then I think and say with worry, “Even though it's only 2 short months for me, it'll be a whole lifetime for you. Have you seen the fate Siming Xingjun wrote for you?” Yehua softly laughs and kisses my hair, “My fate isn't scripted by Siming. After discussing with some royal family members, Tianjun told Siming to leave my fate blank. My life will depend on myself.” “Even though you'll be taking Yan Wang's (God of Death) amnesia potion, you still can't marry another woman, alright?” He doesn't reply; after hesitating for a while, I continue, “I'm not that worried. I'm just worried that... haha, you'll reincarnate into another life. So I cannot not be careful. You should understand.” He gently brushes the hair by my ear and strokes my face, “There's not a flower in sight and you've already begun your jealousy?” I clear my throat abashedly. I believe in Yehua's love. Even in another lifetime, he'd still remember me. But there's still that stupid rule that makes immortals take a Forgetful Potion before reincarnating. They can only remember everything again once they come back. He strokes my hair and chuckles, “If I accidentally bring back a flower, what will you do?” I give it some thoughts and feel that this is the time to give him some warning. I bow my head low and say with pretend sadness, “If such a time comes, I'll abduct you back to Qingqiu and lock you away in the Fox Cave. Each day you'll only get to see me, when you eat, when you read, when you paint, you'll only see me.”
His eyes glimmer. He brushes aside the stray hair on my forehead and kisses my nose. “I wish at this moment you've already abducted me back.” On Mid-Autumn day, the 15th of August, Chang'e (Moon Goddess) has the cassia tree chopped down and the wine jar dug up from the Moon Palace and gifts each person on the 36 levels of Heaven a bottle. I bring this bottle to Sawu Palace and have a parting drink with Yehua. I wanted to come with him, but he wouldn't let me. He wants me to wait for him in Qingqiu instead. Yehua doesn't want me to follow him probably because he knows I'd use magic to protect him and end up harming my own fate. But what does it matter if my I get reversed effects if I can alleviate some of his pain. In the end I pretend to return to Qingqiu to ease his mind. After he takes the Forgetful Potion and reincarnates, I go looking for him with my thick-skin face. Loving someone will be like this. You'll always want the person you love to be a bit happier. As long as he's happy, you're happy. This is the miraculous effect love has. Even with the greatest pain, if he has you in his heart, all the earth shattering pains will become mere sweet tortures. Siming Jingjun gifts me a favor and tells me where Yehua will reincarnate. Yehua will be born into a revered scholar-official family from Jiangnan. His uncles, father, and ancestors have all held important positions in court. Siming high-spiritedly agrees with this arrangement. According to his experience as a fate-scripter, children from such families would follow their ancestors' footsteps in the future and wield great power in court with just a mere ink brush. Looking at how Yehua is, this family suits him to the tee. But I know noble families in the mortal realm pay great attention to decorums; their teachings are boring so the taught children also turn out boring, unlike rural children who are more lively and friendly. Yehua's already not that cheerful, so I'm not exactly hoping for a great change in his environment. But I'm still worried his won't be the happiest of childhoods. Yehua is born into the aristocratic Liu family. The first lady of the Liu household conceived him as the first-born son. He is called Liu Ying, styled Zhao Ge. I don't much like this name; I feel it too ornate and that it doesn't suit Yehua's strapping image. Chapter 21 Part 1
I return to Qingqiu and prepare several more outfits. Then I immediately dash over to Zheyan’s Shi Li Tao Hua to shamelessly ask for some extra medicine. I’ve only gone half way when I see Zheyan heading toward me on a cloud; behind him is 4th brother on Bifang. They brake right in front of me. 4th brother says with twinkles in his eyes, “Little 5th, your longtime wish is coming true today. We've just returned from Xihai. Dieyong was twisting the entire night yesterday. This morning Zheyan used the Soul Seeking art to examine him and detected that Moyuan’s soul is no longer in Dieyong’s consciousness. We’re about to head over to Yanhua Cave. Moyuan is probably picking this auspicious day to wake up after 70,000 years of sleep.” I stand there bemused momentarily. When I finally regain my thoughts, I see myself pulling on 4th brother’s hand while stammering these words, “T… teacher has woken up? He’s awake now?” Fourth brother nods his head then furrows his brow, “Hey, your bag’s fallen off the cloud.” I knew within three months Moyuan would surely wake up. However, it’s only been two months since Dieyong took the pill. How did he wake up in such a short time? Is he really awake? Zheyan lowers his head and sighs, “Yehua’s sacrifice isn’t a waste afterall.” My eyes burn with tears as I nod in reply. 4th brother laughs, “I heard about Yehua from Zheyan. What a lovesick guy. But you seem to be rather unlucky with your fate. You’ve only just repaid your debt to Moyuan and now you owe Yehua in return. You used your blood to repay Moyuan for 70,000 years but what will you use to repay Yehua’s 40,000 years of life energy?” I cover my eyes which are beginning to sting with my fan and reply, “Yehua and I will become husband and wife eventually. There's no favors or debts in love between spouses.” From the middle of a cloud, Zheyan laughs, “You finally figured it out.” Because I was a male disciple when I studied under Moyuan, I want to disguise myself back into Siyin. Zheyan holds out his hand to stop me, “With Moyuan's ability, he already knew you were a girl since a long time ago. He didn't uncover your identity for the sake of your parents' face. Did you think you had deceived him for 20,000 years?”
I draw my fan back and laugh, “You're right. Mother's magic could deceive my 16 seniors but I was a little skeptical that it could deceive Teacher.” The three of us are coming closer to Mount Fangyi. I take the lead and lower the cloud down. China Roses bloom along the mountainside; their fragrance spreads across the entire mountain. It is now autumn in August. I go straight into Yanhua Cave. Within the drifting fog at the end of the cave is the bed Moyuan has slept on all these years. My sight is getting blurry in this important moment. I quickly wipe my eyes; my hands wet from doing so. A hazy silhouette of someone sitting appears on the bed. I hurriedly walk over. The one leaning on the bed is undoubtedly my teacher Moyuan who has been in years of deep sleep. He is looking at the flower vase placed next to him. His face, his expression, they’re exactly as they were 70,000 years ago. My tears fall down uncontrollably. The noise I make calls to his attention. He turns around and props his face on his hand. He smiles at me peacefully, “Little 17th? Right, it is Little 17th. Come over here and let me take a look. Let's see how much you've improved over the years.” I dig my fingernails into my flesh and hear my heart drums within my chest. I come over with quivering steps. I call “Teacher” out to him and in a flash, millions of conflicting emotions entangle around each other. He reaches out to support me and says, “Why do you look like you’re about to cry? Hmm, this outfit on you isn’t bad.” Zheyan comes through the fog as 4th brother follows behind. He says, “You’ve slept for 70,000 years. You only got up now.” I sneeze from the cold within Yanhua Cave. Fourth brother drags me out as Zheyan and Moyuan unhurriedly follow us out. We return to the Fox Cave. After he fell into his slumber, most of my seniors have returned home. Only 9 th senior Lingyu stays to take care of Kunlun so the atmosphere there is much less lively now. I'm not sure how to tell Teacher this if he were to ask. But surprisingly the first thing he asks about wasn’t Kunlun.
While we have tea, teacher asks Zheyan, “Have you seen a young child who looks exactly like me while I was asleep?” The teapot in my hand spills onto 4th brother’s knee. 4th brother suppresses his pain and grins to me while wiping off the hot liquid. Zheyan laughs and glances at me, “There certainly is. Furthermore he's in a relationship with your little disciple over there.” Moyuan turns his head to look at me. My face starts to flush while Zheyan winks repeatedly at me. Before his eyes go into a cramp, I quickly say, “This person you’re talking about, haha… he’s probably my fiancé, the Crown Prince of Heaven… hahaha.” Moyuan’s cup-holding hand instantly freezes. He takes another sip to clear his throat. At length, with an unchanging expression, he says, “He has good taste, that guy.” Then he looks up and says, “What is your fiancé’s name? When was he born?” I answer him truthfully. He calculates on his fingers and says, “Little 17th, you’ve somehow lured and entrapped my younger brother.” I feel like I was struck by lightning as I shout, “What?” I wasn’t the only one stunned. Even the more knowledgeable Zheyan and 4 th brother are dropping their jaws. Moyuan turns the teacup in his hands and says, “I can’t blame everyone for being surprised. I too only knew of this when my father passed away. It turns out my mother only gave birth to me, but there was indeed another brother.” Part 2 Moyuan says he probably needs to tell the story from the moment his mother conceived the two brothers. Once upon a time the four columns holding up the sky broke down. The nine continents started to crumble. Because Mother Deity (Mushen) had to repair the columns she ended up affecting her pregnancy. When she came into labor, she could only save the first, but not the second. Father Deity (Fushen) felt he had wronged the little baby so he tried to retain the baby's soul within his own. He used up half of his life energy to create a womb for it. But no matter what he tried, the baby wouldn't wake up. Fushen then turned the womb into a radiant egg and hid it behind Mt. Kunlun to wait for the baby's soul to return. Unfortunately both Mushen and Fushen passed away together before their child could wake up.
Before Fushen died, he told this story to Moyuan and asked him to take care of the baby's soul after separating it from his own. Moyuan took his brother's soul and sustained it in his own like Fushen did. The world collapsed and collapsed again. Yet Moyuan's brother still couldn't wake up. Moyuan tells us, “He finally woke up when I used my soul as a sacrifice for the Donghuang Bell. I'm awake now all thanks to his effort in collecting my scattered soul pieces. I have a hazy memory of a little child gathering my soul next to me. At the 70,000 years mark after he has gathered about half, there came a golden light flying across our cavern, sweeping him away. After he left, I had to collect the pieces by myself. It was difficult, and the pace greatly slowed down. You say that he's now the crown prince of the Heaven clan. Then I'm guessing that the Heaven family's Madam must've swallowed the hidden egg when she passed by Mt. Kunlun. The fetus probably pulled him away when it was born from her womb.” Zheyan slightly chuckles and says, “No wonder they said when the brat Yehua was born, there were 72 rainbow birds dancing for 81 straight days and auspicious light shining from the East for three years. Turns out he's your younger brother.” Jiuchongtian's historical records clearly say Fushen's only son is Moyuan. Now I know these historians are barely trustworthy. It's better to believe those fates scripted by the idle Siming. Moyuan wants to meet Yehua but since he's just waken, he needs a few years of rest to restore his energy first. I give him some quick excuse and promise to take him to Yehua once he has recovered. Teacher insists on going back to the cave behind Mt. Kunlun to carry out his meditation. Although I don't want him to see the desolation Kunlun has fallen into, I won't be able to hide that fact away from him forever. I thought we'd only get to see Lingyu today. But the moment we step into the entrance, the scene before our eyes make us jump in surprise. My sixteen seniors don their Taoist robes according to rankings, their hair bun up in the Taoist style, as they stand in two lines by the stone door. The big tree inside is still the Shalashuang tree gifted by the Buddhas from the West. My sixteen seniors ceremoniously stand under the canopy as if they've stood there for all 70,000 years. Eldest senior leads the pack as he kneels on the ground with red eyes and trembly says, “Ninth brother sent a letter several days ago telling us dragon energy is amassing over the Kunlun sky. Once in a while there is even the sound of dragon roars. He doesn't know what it means so we hastily came back. Although the possibility of your return crossed our minds, we daren't believe it. Today while inside, we felt your energy from beyond the mountain entrance. We immediately came out but we're late to welcoming you at the gate.
You're finally back after being gone for 70,000 years.” He breaks down in sobs as he finishes his words. He looks young, but he's in fact quite old. Everyone wells up as well seeing him like this. The other fifteen seniors also drop down in silent sobs. Sixteenth senior Zilan cried most miserably. Moyuan's eyes darken, “I've made you all waited for too long. Stand up and let's go inside.” First my seniors all cried for a while. Then they say they've lost useless ole me, Siyin Shenjun. Eldest senior seems so afflicted when the story comes to me. I was the one who drugged them and stole Moyuan's body out of Kunlun, but he doesn't mention any of my wrong doings. Instead he only says it's his fault for not taking care of me and losing me. He's searched for me nonstop all these years but there's never any news. He's afraid my fate is grim. He feels he hadn't done his responsibility as the eldest to take care of his juniors and asks for punishment from our teacher. I stand leaning against 4th brother next to them. Without thinking, I blurt out, “What grim fate, I'm still happily alive. I've only changed the way I dress. I'm Siyin.” They all go into shock. After falling to the floor, Eldest senior gets up and hugs me, “Ninth brother said you also went through a homo nightmare. That year when the 2nd prince of the Demon clan came to deceive you, I thought I've beaten that dream out of him. But who would know that I haven't stopped yours. My poor 17th, so you've turned gay, the crossdressing kind no less.” Fourth brother can't stop himself from laughing out loud. I endure those heartbroken tears and say, “Eldest senior, take a good look at my face. How am I a crossdressing male?” Tenth brother pushes my stammering Eldest senior over and says, “This is why you wouldn't bathe with us. Turns out 17th is a girl.” Fourth brother drawls his words out, “She's a beauti...ful... wo...man...” I give him a kick. Eldest senior has never been this way. He's really gotten sentimental over the years. After I left, every one of my seniors has made a career for himself in these 70,000 years. These 16 seniors of mine weren't particularly brilliant when we were young. I followed them around and learned all the tomfooleries in the book.
I can't forget to credit my 16 seniors for the way I turned out. However, they made me like this yet all of them are successful now. When Heaven scripted their fates, He must've dozed off all the while. But I'm thankful that Heaven dozed off just so. Teacher is probably thankful too. After talking for a while, when my ears are full of information about their outstanding careers, I feel somewhat down. I compare myself to them and depression starts to wash over me. Fourth brother stands nearby with a brush to document things. Once in a while he'd clap his hands and shout, “Remarkable! Remarkable!” This feeling of sadness makes me somewhat disappointed. Tenth senior consoles me, “Bro, erm, Sis... you're a lady, haha, a beautiful lady. A beautiful lady doesn't need to have a successful career. All of our sisters only think about marrying a good husband. You should find a good family to marry into too and life will be fine.” Sixteenth senior grins and says, “At 17th's age, we shouldn't talk about marrying. I'm afraid she already has a few young ones. Right, when will you bring your husband here to meet us? With your looks and personality, I wonder what kind of man you married?” His words are stabbing right at my sore spot. I wipe the sweats on my forehead and awkwardly laugh, “You're exaggerating, I'm not there yet. My wedding's next month. You guys have to come and drink with me.” Moyuan sits pensively beside us. At the word “drink,” the teacup from his hand splashes as half of the tea spills out. I hastily run to him to wipe the liquid. Zheyan lightly coughs twice. Part 3 There's nothing extraordinary about the fairies who come to visit. Sometimes Eldest senior or 2nd senior would take them to see Moyuan for a bit. Sometimes they'd only get to sip a bit of tea in the main hall before leaving. Only the young man who comes at noon on the third day has a bit of a problem. This young man wears a white robe. He looks quite elegant and mild. When Moyuan sees him, his normally icy face becomes affected. The white-robed man gets to see Moyuan but he doesn't proceed with the greetings. He only looks into the distant and says, “It's been a long time, you still look the same. Zhongyin has only come to Kunlun this time because my older sister appeared in my dream last night asking me to pass on some words to you.” He smiles and continues, “My sister says she's all by herself, and she's so lonely.”
I call the attendant who serves 7th senior over and ask him to bring this Zhongyin guy another cup of tea. Moyuan remains silent, with his sickly cheek propped on his hand. Zheyan glances over to Moyuan then turns and says to Zhongyin, “Brother Zhongyin, surely you are joking. Your older sister has passed away for 100,000 years already. How could she come see you in your dream?” Zhongyin widens his eyes in anger and says, “Master Zheyan, you've misunderstood me. I really came here to pass on my sister's words. There are no hidden meanings. I didn't even want to waste my time to begin with. But my sister had looked so pitiful in my dream so I couldn't bear to be heartless. You say she can't come to my dream because she's turned into dusts. But isn't it also true that Master Moyuan who's sitting here has also turned into dusts? If he can come back now, then what's wrong with my sister visiting me in my dream?” He bows low after his last word and exits the main hall by himself. Moyuan leaves his seat and walks back to the inner hall. I spring up to follow him but Zheyan stops me. I had a feeling that my teacher Moyuan has a lot of history long ago. Everything was right, he's really also someone with a past... From Zhongyin's few words, it seems like in the yore of time there has been a period of awful history. I'm a little worried. I want to come see Moyuan after the guests have left and give him some consolation. At night when I come by Moyuan’s room, he is already sitting pensively in front of his zither. The yellow candlelight highlights a sad look on his face. I stand still by the door. His eyes suddenly left the zither and glance up. He slightly smiles and says, “What are you standing there for. Come in.” I quietly come in. I came wanting to comfort him but now all words are stuck in my throat. I don’t know much about his story either. I only guess it was a love story from what the white-robed man said. But how should one start when she wants to comfort someone about a sad love memory? I was still in thoughts when the sound of the zither rings by my ears. Moyuan’s fingers pass over the strings and he says, “Your bad habit of daydreaming still hasn’t changed after all these years.” I scratch my nose and grin. Then I come over to his side and say with concern, “Teacher, dead people can’t come back. Zhongyin probably only missed his sister too much. Don’t keep it in your heart.”
He twitches, then continues to strike the zither and casually says, “You came here tonight because of this?” I nod my head. The zither rings chaotic sounds from under his fingers. He looks up at me. After watching my face for a long while, he asks me a completely unrelated question, “Are your feelings for him true?” I think for half a day before I realize “him” means Yehua. I feel awkward talking about this in front of an elder, but I’m not the type to be shy and embarrassed either. So I scratch my nose and honestly answer him, “It’s true. As true as can be.” He lifts his head and looks out to the window. At length he says, “Then that’s good. I don’t have to worry now.” I don’t really understand. His expression is strange today. Perhaps he’s worried that I’m not feminine enough to be married into a good family? Thinking so, I happily assure him, “Teacher, you don’t have to worry. Yehua’s a good person. We get along very well. I truly love him as he does me.” He keeps his head turned and casually says, “It’s getting late. Go bad to your room and rest.” Part 4 After that day Moyuan doesn't come out to the main hall anymore. That night I walked across half the building to comfort him. But by the time I left his room, I discovered I haven't comforted him at all. I feel kind of bad. Maybe only he himself understands the issue. Outsiders shouldn't interfere to begin with. We thought without being able to see Moyuan, the people who come to visit would lessen. Who knew they are still so excited? After 12 days of disguising as a tea servant in the main hall, I can't stand it any longer. I pull 4th brother to the apple tree and ask him to change places with me for the time of 7 or 8 incense sticks so that I may come down to the mortal realm and see Yehua once. Fourth brother counts on his fingers and says, “If I watch for 7 or 8 incense sticks, then I surely can't sleep tonight. I'll help you for 1 stick at most. Yehua's only in the mortal realm for one lifetime. It's not even that serious and already you want to sneak a peek? You sure fell fast for him.” My face remains constant except for my burning red ears. I didn't pick the right time to act today. I totally forgot that he had a fight with Zheyan this afternoon by the veranda.
But one incense stick is still enough to satisfy me. I immediately dash out to the front yard. He throws the two apples in his hand into the lotus pond nearby as he nonchalantly says, “If you don't return within the time of one incense stick, don't be mad when I come down to drag you back myself.” It seems fourth brother is really angry at Zheyan today. The starry river on Kunlun twinkles in the pitch black night. On Earth, it’s daytime with miles of stretching blue sky. I stand outside of a private school in invisible form. The sound of reading voice rings out, “The uncle met Han Zhuanzi. Zhuanzi was concern with his livelihood, so his uncle brings him gifts…***” *** Han Zhuanzi is the ancestor of Han Jinghou (Marquess Jing of Han) from the Warring States period My eyes follow the voice and see a handsome child in the last row. This child is more beautiful than the rest of the mortals, although not as handsome as Yehua. But his cold aura is exactly like Yehua’s. The reading stops. The lecturer looks to the book in his hand and says, “Zhao Ge, why don't you stand up and explain this passage to the class.” The icy-faced child stands up. My heart slightly trembles. He really is the reincarnation of Yehua. I know no matter what form he takes I will always be able to recognize him. I stay invisible outside the bars of the window and wait until their class ends. The two servants help Yehua clear the things on his desk and walk him to the door. I quietly follow behind, not knowing how to appear before him naturally. As I ponder my options, two sounds of rushing air wheeze by from behind. I wave my sleeve by reflex and the two small flying pebbles immediately change direction, hitting the trunk of an ancient tree by the road. The noise makes Yehua turn around. The four children shout and run away. As they run, they sing a seven-line rhyme. It goes as follow: “Rice is precious; Oil is prized. The Liu family gave birth to a disabled child. Sinned in the past, ordinary in this life. No one pities him; as it's eye for an eye. A prodigy be he might. But how far shall a handicapped fly?” I was struck dumb. I gaze over to Yehua’s right hand.
Damn that bastard Tianjun. Yehua is his grandson, how can he be so heartlessly evil. He didn’t even give Yehua a complete body during reincarnation. There’s only the sleeve where Yehua’s right hand is. It’s clearly, clearly completely empty. Yehua's young attendants chase after the other kids before they are called back. I can still remember those kids are Yehua's schoolmates. As an experienced person, I naturally know what they're feeling. They're obviously jealous of Yehua's extraordinary talents. But couldn't they have stayed silent in their jealousy? How malicious of them to come up with such a rhyme. Yehua’s left hand holds down his fluttering right sleeve as he slightly furrows his brow. He turns ahead without saying anything. Having seen everything, my heart aches. I can’t show myself because I’m afraid they would see me. I can only swallow back my tears. I follow them from dawn to dusk and still can’t find the right time to show myself to Yehua. His two annoying attendants are always with him. By the hour of the dog, they help him undress for bed. After half a tea cup time, they also yawn their way to bed. I sigh in relief and appear by his bedside. After watching his face in the moonlight, I slightly shake him up. He turns and sits up half-awake, half-sleeping. “What’s going on?” When he sees that I’m not one of his attendants, he becomes startled. He looks at me for some moments before closing his eyes and falling back to sleep. He mumbles, “So I was dreaming.” I quickly wake him up again. Before he can open his mouth, I block him and ask, “Do you know me?” I knew he won’t, but I hope nonetheless. As I thought, he replies, “No, I don’t.” Then he knits his brow as his sleep leaves him, “This isn’t a dream?” I take a light pearl from my sleeve. Following the light, I bring my hand to his face, “Do you think it’s a dream?” His small face slowly colors red. How can Yehua become so shy after reincarnation? I inch closer to him. After each time I inch over, his face would turn a deeper shade of red. I’ve never seen this strange appearance from Yehua before. I sit right before his face as he backs away to the wall corner. His round face is flushing red but he tries to appear calm, “Who are you? Why did you enter my bed chamber?” In the past, I read a novel that tells the story of a white snake falling in love with a young man named Muyue. She fell ill from lovesick and came to find him at night. Seeing Yehua, I suddenly want to tease him. So I hide my face in sadness and say, “I’m a fairy from Qingqiu. I come down to the mortal realm for a spring stroll and fell in love with
your appearance. My heart constantly misses you and now I’ve fallen ill from lovesick.” At the end I pretend to be embarrassed while glancing at him. These words make me shiver in goosebumps but from his facial expression, I think I’ve acted quite well. He is lost in confusion. Then his face colors a flushing red. He covers his mouth and clears his throat, “However, I’m only eleven years old compared to you.” Before parting, we give each other promise gifts. I give him the same bracelet he gave me when I descended to the mortal realm to help Yuanzheng. I can’t be with him at all times so if he wears this bracelet, my worry will lessen. He takes off the jade pendant on his neck and wears it on me. I lower myself to his ear and remind him, “You absolutely can’t marry any other woman. I’ll come visit you when I have time. I’ll wait for you; when you mature I’ll become your wife.” He blushes and nods his head in all seriousness. Chapter 22 Part 1 I said I would come back to visit Yehua, but I couldn't leave once I got back to Kunlun. At last Moyuan has chosen the date to start his meditation, which will be seven days from now. On the morning of September 2nd, I take the medicinal pills to Moyuan so he can take them with him. His expression seems somewhat tired before entering the cave. Without saying anything to my seniors, he asks me one question, “Does Yehua treat you well?” I give him the honest answer. He nods his head and goes in. After Moyuan goes into meditation, the immortals no longer come by to greet him. Fifteen of my seniors take turn to go back home, leaving behind their attendants to help 9th senior. I also follow Zheyan and 4th brother and descend down the mountain. After reaching the bottom, I ran straight to the mortal realm. Yehua should be 18 or 19 years old by now. With a bursting heart, I softly land in front of the Liu family’s courtyard.
However, I can't find Yehua anywhere after scrutinizing every square inch of the Liu estate. I disappointedly leave the Liu's. After thinking for some time, I come back and inquire the servant from his family. He says Yehua has passed his civil exam some years ago and is now working under the mortal emperor. The little servant of the Liu estate raises his head high and says, “Our young master is a one-of-a-kind prodigy. He came into the imperial university at 11. Five years ago when the Emperor held an examination, he participated out of whims and took home Zhuangyuan (Exemplar of the State i.e. 1st-rank). After entering Hanlin Academy, he is now the State Chancellor. What a remarkable talent!”
I have no interest in Yehua's political career. I'm just happy to find out where he's living. I come by the backyard of the Chancellor Estate to look for Yehua. When I finally see him, he is in his daily robe, gazing at flowers with a woman in white garments. Above the spot where he sits are crimson peach blossoms. The white-robed woman seems to have said something to him. He lifts his wine cup and turns to her to smile. She shyly lowers her head. His smile is warm and kind. But it's absolutely irritating in my eyes. It's only been six days. How dare he forget about his promise to me and start another romance behind my back? As I itch to near them in my jealousy, a voice calls out from behind me, “It's been a while since I last saw you. Greetings from Sujin, Your Ladyship.” I freeze and turn around. My invisible spell is only effective on mortals. It cannot deceive other fairies. Sujin in simple plain garment is a strange sight to my eyes, “Why are you here?” She watches me closely, her eyes squinted, “His Highness' reincarnation is all by himself in the mortal realm. I worry he might get lonely so I especially found the person he always thinks about to serve him. I was invited to the West Empress' tea party today. I'm stopping by on my way to see if she is doing her job or not.” Bemused, I turn to look at the white-robed woman next to Yehua. I wasn't paying attention a moment ago but now that I look again, she really is a puppet in the form of a human. I flap my fan and answer indifferently, “How considerate of you.” She looks at me with earnest eyes, “You do know from whose appearance I created this puppet from?” I tilt my head to observe carefully, but can't pick out what special features the whiterobed female posesses. Her eyes become vague as she says, “Have Your Ladyship heard of the name Susu?” My heart throbs. This little Sujin certainly has improved recently. She can injure me right the moment we meet. How can I not know of the little dough's mother who threw herself down Zhuxian Tai, the former wife whom Yehua has once loved. But ever since I knew of my own feelings for Yehua, I carefully wrapped everything related to the dough's mother and threw it into a chest, locking it three times over while vowing never to open it up again. I'm not Yehua's first love, and I regret this fact immensely. But Fate has already arranged it so; I have no reason to be angry. I can only sigh and lament my rocky romance.
Sujin takes in my expression as she says, “Don't pay too much attention to her. His Highness is only a mortal at the moment. He can't know that the person in front of him is merely a puppet. Look at it as realizing his dream for him. When he returns to his original self, with his personality, he won't take another glance at her even if her outer appearance is like Susu's.” Is she trying to say in Yehua's eyes right now, there is only the image of this puppet? I laugh in reply, “Aren't you afraid that when Yehua comes back to Heaven, he'll punish you for deceiving him?” Her expression freezes as she grudgingly says, “All I did was create a puppet and place her outside of his home. If he didn't like her, he would've gone on and ignored her. But he took one look and brought her into his home. If he wants to punish me later on, then I've nothing to say.” My chest pricks and I go on flapping my fan. She continues to smile kindly, “When you love some one so much, not even death can erase all traces of your memory. Turn around and you've come right back to that same person. Right...” she pauses, then continues slowly, “Did you know that His Highness has used the Piecing Soul Lantern these 300 years to collect Susu's soul?” A pounding sound goes off in my head. I loses all sense of direction as my heart throbs in bouts. He... Yehua, he still wants to search for Susu? Six days ago when I sat by Yehua's bed, I asked him if he knew who I was. He said he didn't. Six days later he brought home an unrecognizable stranger on the street. He really doesn't love me as deeply as he loved Susu, no wonder he couldn't remember me. The word “perhaps” keeps chiming out. The chest that was locked three times over now cracks open. Is it because my covered eyes resemble his old wife's? Is that why he came to like me? I can't think straight anymore; my mind is as white as a porridge pot. Even though my head was blanking out, I'm impressed with myself that I can still keep up with my dignified manner, “Your understanding on this romance stuff is quite thorough... to be able to stand Yehua's coldness and sit on his concubine's seat for these 200 years. Out of all the young juniors I've met, you've got the best perception. You did a good job with the puppet. With her by Yehua's side, I'll save myself a lot of effort. If Yehua wants to punish you after he comes back, I'll put in a few good words for you.” Her smile instantly freezes on her face. At length she lifts the corner of her mouth to say, “Thank you, Your Ladyship.” I wave my hand and tell her, “It's not good to be late to the West Empress' tea party.”
She slightly curtsies with a bow, “I'll take my leave first.” After Sujin leaves, I turn around and watch the replica pour wine for Yehua. Peach blossom petals follow the breeze and fall onto Yehua’s hair. The replica reaches her snow-white hand out, gently brushing the petals away. She looks up and smiles shyly at Yehua. He doesn’t say anything and takes another sip. My head starts to ache again. 4th brother always tells me I never think when I act. According to him, fortunately our parents cleaned up most of the trouble I created, but in truth I’ve given much shame to our white fox lineage. I actually think he’s caused many more times the shame than I have. But then again he’s also much older; it’s not fair to compare. Now that I think about it, there are reasons behind his words. It’s true that I rarely think before I act. Like when Yehua first confessed to me. I believed him right away without once wondering why he picked me out of all the girls in the world. If it turns out he loves me because I resemble the little dough’s mother, then how different am I from that puppet who’s pouring wine for him? I know it’s petty to compare with a dead person, but when one’s in love, there’s no such thing as keeping face and dignity. Part 2 In the late evening, I bring out the Piecing Soul Lantern and examine it under the light of the night pearl. It used to be placed on the West Sea prince’s bed. Zheyan brought it back to Qingqiu after Moyuan woke up. Yehua didn’t ask about it when we went to Jiuchongtian so I forgot I still haven’t returned it to him. The night pearl shines a gentle light. The wick within the Piecing Soul Lantern is only as large as a pea. Who knew such a surprising light contains the soul of a mortal for these 300 years? My head is getting heavier by the second. I know not all of Sujin’s words can be trusted. But I’ve heard Nainai’s words as well. It was certain that Yehua’s love for the dough’s mother is as deep as the sea. That love didn’t obliterate even after 300 years. For such a faithful person, how could he all of a sudden change his affection as soon as we met? The more I think, the more my courage burns away. My heart twinges with pain. I love Yehua for who he is. He looks like my teacher, but I’ve never thought of them to be the same. If I had treated him as a replacement for Moyuan, I would’ve treated him with utmost respect reserved for a teacher. Since I was sincere toward him, I naturally hoped he could be the same toward me. If he only courted me because I looked like the dough’s mother, because he couldn’t forget the dough’s mother, then I can’t accept this relationship of ours. Migu lingers outside and quietly asks, “Lady, do you want some wine brought here?”
I agree silently. I drink until one Piecing Soul Lantern turns into ten. That’s when I know I’ve drank enough and get up to head to bed. But I just can’t fall asleep. Something in front of me keeps flickering. I sit up and blink my eyes to realize that it’s the lantern. I try to blow it from 8 feet over but the damn thing won’t die. Irritated, I throw a spell toward its direction and instantly it shatters into pieces. Finally, the damn flame dies. Everything in the room spins and I fall back to my bed. I stay in slumber for two days, and remember many things during that time. Five hundred years ago when Jingshan escaped from the Donghuang Bell, I had to seal him back. I didn't sleep soundly in the Fox Cave for 200 years like my parents had said. I was put under a spell by Jingshang and stayed on Mt. Junji in Donghuang. That human called Susu, the dough's mother, the one who threw herself down Zhuxian Tai, was no other than myself when I was powerless and ignorant. I have always been suspicious of my easy ascension to High Divinity. How could I have fought with Jingshang, take a short 200 years nap, then become a High Deity the moment I woke up? I finally understand why there were times in Qingqiu when Yehua seemed like he wanted to say something to me, but never spoke it out. Or that night in the mortal realm when I dreamingly heard, “A part of me wants you to remember but another part of me hopes you’ll never recall that past.” Everything makes sense now. Yehua felt guilty because he wronged me back then. But I'm afraid he won't ever understand why I named the little dough “Li” (to separate). And he’ll never understand why I had to jump down Zhuxian Tai. The past comes rushing back. Those three years still hurt like it happened yesterday. Honor? Reason? He couldn’t help it because he was protecting a mortal like me? I don’t want to know, and have no energy left to care. When I wake up in the middle of the dream, the one thing I remember is how lonely I spent each night at Yi Lan Fang Hua, yet my heart was still full of hope. Those three years live on like a wound that’s still festering in my heart. I don’t think I can marry Yehua in October with these feelings I have. I know I still love him. He made me lose my mind 300 years ago and he makes me lose it again 300 years later. I can’t control my love for him but whenever I remember the things that happened in the past, it feels like there’s a nail stuck inside my heart. I can’t bear this nail, and I can’t forgive him.
When I was in my reincarnated form, Sujin stole my eyes from me. My trial is long over. I don't think it's right to let her continue using my eyes; she won't be comfortable with them either. Violence is better than peace. I summon the Kunlun Fan and fix myself in front of the mirror. Hmm, my facial expression is kind of bad. To avoid embarrassing Qingqiu, I go over my lips once with some lip color. With a radiant face, I fly to Jiuchongtian, passing through the guards at Nantian Gate, and head straight for Changhua Estate where Sujin stays inside Sawu Palace. The Admirable One sure knows how to enjoy life; she's leaning back on her chaise resting at this moment. I appear and walk straight into the building. The tea maid cries out in fright. The Admirable One opens her eyes and freezes up when she sees me. Although she says “Your arrival has frightened me,” her movement getting out of the chaise is as calm as can be. Sure~, she's frightened. I sit down next to her. She hesitates then puts on a bright smile, “You’re probably here to ask after His Highness.” She pauses, then continues to smile brightly, “That Susu from the mortal world has been taking good care of him.” Her smile gives twinkles to her eyes. I tap the fan on my hand and puts on a nonchalant face, “Of course that's the best thing to do. I haven’t had to worry about Yehua because you’ve been taking care of everything. I came here today to check in on you.” She looks at me skeptically. I smile at her prettily, “Sujin, you’ve used those eyes of mine for 300 years. How do you like them?” She forces her head up. She first blushes red then drains white. “Wh… what did you just say?” I spread my fan and say, “I went through a love trial 300 years ago and lost my eyes to you. I came today to ask for them back. Think, should you do it or should I do it?” She steps back and grips tightly onto the chair behind her. She shakes in disbelief, “Y… you’re Susu?” I lose all patience, “Who will it be? Do you want to do it or will I do it?” Her eyes lose all their shine. She wants to say something, but she can’t get the words out. After a long while she finally says, “That woman was clearly a mortal. How can you be her? She was a mortal!”
I arch my brow, “So what if she was a mortal? And what if she was an immortal? Just because I was a human 300 years ago means you could steal my eyes and make me jump down Zhuxian Tai?” Her legs give in and she slowly slides down. “I… I” She never completes what she wants to say. I step forward and caress her eyes, “I caught good news recently and I’ve been doing some drinking. So you see, my hands will be trembling a bit. It’ll hurt more than if you were to do it yourself. Do forgive me.” I still haven’t acted when she shrieks a deafening scream. At the same time I release a barrier around Changhua Estate, making sure no one can come in even after hearing her scream. Her eyes whirl around as she grabs my hands, “You can’t, you can’t…” I amusedly pat her cheek, “You always liked to appear helpless 300 years ago. Always so feeble everytime I saw you. Why don’t you let me see for once how you are not being that way? When Yehua took my eyes away, he said one must pay what one owes. But you and I both know how your eyes became that way. Tell me, for what reason can’t I claim my eyes back? You can’t think that my eyes have become yours just because they stayed in your sockets for 300 years?” She shrieks painfully. I lower to her ear and say, “That incident from 300 years ago… because old Tianjun did everything so quietly then, I too will do everything quietly today. You owed me two things from the past. I’ve taken back my eyes. As for the Zhuxian Tai incident, either you can learn from me and jump down, or go to Tianjun and tell him you want to go to Ruoshui to watch over the imprisoned Jingshang, never to return to Heaven again.” She freezes. I’ve gone through this same pain. It must not be very different from what I felt then. She struggles to breathe, forcing out these words, “I… absolutely… won’t…” There it is. She finally stops pretending to be weak. She finally shows her strength. I lift her bloody face and smirk, “Really? Then you want me to go tell Tianjun myself? But you know how people change. They say one thing now and something else the next moment. If I go to Tianjun, I’m not sure if my words will still be the same ones I spoke to you.” Her body becomes rigid. All the pain winds around in one spot. I chant Buddha’s teaching in my mind: you reap what you sow. Part 3
Bifang ran away again, and 4th brother is looking for him, again. There’s only Zheyan left at Shi Li Tao Hua. When I show him the bloody pair of eyes within my palm, he studies them in the sunlight for a long time and says, “How rare it is to find something you lost for 300 years.” Then he continues, “Remembering such a painful time after taking my potion is pretty rare as well.” Zheyan says he'll need some time to get rid of the murky energy in these eyes. When all has been eliminated, he'll change my eyes for me. I tell Migu to watch the Crown Prince's concubine's every step as well as the entrance to Qingqiu. In the next few days I don't want to see anyone. I get so drunk I I don't know anything anymore. But before I became too drunk, I think I heard Migu came to chat with me. He says a lot, mostly trifling things. There are two I remember the most. The first is about the Crown Prince's concubine on Jiuchongtian. For some reason she submitted a request to Tianjun asking to leave the Heaven clan and come down to Ruoshui to watch the Donghuang Bell. Tianjun agreed immediately, touched by her goodwill. The second story is about the Crown Prince Yehua. After reincarnating, he somehow believed in deities and poured all his effort into finding a fairy from Qingqiu. Although he advanced all the way to the Prime Minister position, he kept on refusing to get married. At 27, he passed away in after falling ill in sorrow. His will to his family is to cremate his body along with a jade bracelet. I'm not sure if I cried when Migu told me this story. If I did, then because of what? I drank a lot, and my head spins 'round, that I don't really know either. I don't know how many days have passed when Migu hastily enters the Fox Cave. He tells me Crown Prince Yehua from Jiuchongtian has been standing outside Qingqiu's entrance for seven days, waiting to see me. Migu says he obeyed my order and didn't let anyone in, even if it's Yehua. But it's been seven days and Yehua shows no sign of wanting to leave. He doesn't know what to do so he came back for my decision. Right, Yehua died at age 27 on the mortal realm. It's time for him to be back. I don't know why, but my heart starts to pang in bouts. My chest becomes heavy as my feet become light. I look toward the door. I want to see Yehua. I just want to ask him. Did he marry a mortal 300 years ago because Sujin betrayed him and married Tianjun?
Did he really love me? Did he ignore me for 3 years in Heaven for my own good? When he was in love with me, was he still in love with Sujin? If yes, then how deep was it? If I didn’t jump down Zhuxian Tai, would he have married Sujin on his own volition? Are his feelings for me now caused by his guilt of 300 years ago? The more I think the harder it is to continue. I cover my eyes; tears flow through my fingers. What will he say? How will he answer to all these things? I can’t even tell if I’ll try to kill him. Migu stands beside me in worry, “Lady, will you see him or not?” I take a deep breath and tell him, “No. Tell him not to come here anymore. I’ll go to Tianjun tomorrow and break off the engagement.” Migu returns much later. After staying in silence for a long time, he says, “His Highness looks so miserable. He’s stood by the entrance for 7 days already, never leaving once.” I give him a quick glance then take a gulp of wine without saying a thing. He hesitates then says, “His Highness the Crown Prince asked me to pass a few words to you. He wants to ask one thing. You once said if he flirts with other women in the mortal realm, you’d abduct him back to Qingqiu and imprison him here. When he stayed in the mortal realm, except for taking in an ordinary mortal to take care of his sick mother, he’s never once teased a girl. You’ve promised him so why aren’t you keeping tabs now?” I throw a wine bottle outside and scream, “I don’t care. I don’t care anymore. Tell him to leave. I don’t want to see him ever again.” On the 2nd day I still haven’t gone to Jiuchongtian to break the engagement off. Time keeps stretching on. I want to wait until I feel better. It might be difficult to reach that state in such a short time though. The 3rd day, 4th day, 5th day, Migu says Yehua still stands outside the valley’s entrance without stepping away once. I stop drinking. Ever since I found out Yehua is standing outside of Qingqiu, drinking only clears my mind. The more my mind clears, the more I ache. The more I ache the less I sleep. Rain patters on the rooftop all night, frustrating my mind further. When I wake up in the morning, I sense a large change to the energy barricade used 500 years ago to seal Jingshang inside the Donghuang Bell. I immediately wash my face and tell Migu to run to Shi Li Tao Hua to let Zheyan know, and for him to come give me a hand.
Five hundred years ago when Jingshang almost broke the seal out of the Donghuang Bell, I had to put in all my effort to marginally seal him back up. But that fight had caused much damage to the Bell. I had to use half of my life energy to repair it. With what's left in me, doesn't matter if I'm bold or smart, I know myself there's no way I can beat him. But Jingshang isn't a kindhearted person. He'll most definitely destroy the world when he escapes. Thinking about this, all my heart troubles go away. I summon the Kunlun fan and a cloud, then hurriedly fly over to Ruoshui. I can only hope I can keep Jingshang within the Donghuang Bell until Zheyan comes. I knew I'd have to see Yehua at the valley entrance. He's been waiting there for me so I'll surely run into him if I leave. I close my eyes tightly and walk by him. He reaches out and pulls my hand back. His face is ghastly white, tired and gaunt. The other thing is more important than staying here to have a fight with him. I turn and cut loose the sleeve he’s holding onto with my fan. Bemusedly, his throat releases two hoarse sounds, “Qianqian.” I care not to respond. I turn around and head straight for Ruoshui. With a quick glance, I can see him also following behind on a cloud. I’d come to think about this moment many years later. In truth, I’m afraid I won’t know what to say to him. I’m afraid I won’t be able to say a thing, so I only give him a cold look. I can’t even utter half a line. Ruoshui is covered in fog, sky-high waves crashing down. Dark clouds hang across the heavens. The towering pagoda encasing the Donghuang Bell by the shore is shaking fiercely, making quaking sounds. The person who’s supposed to be watching the Donghuang Bell right now, Sujin, is nowhere in sight. She’s probably cowering in fear hiding somewhere. From the clumps of clouds in the mid-air appears the image of Ruoshui’s local deity. I’ve met him once 500 years ago. He looks down on the swaying pagoda in worry, then turns around to meet us and says, “You've finally arrived. Ruoshui Shenjun has gone to Heaven and asked for back up. Jingshang's anger isn't like it is usually. Our Lord’s mansion under the river has felt the impact a few times. My home is also…” Suddenly a large white light spreads around the bell; within the light is a figure of someone. It unnerves me. As I'm about to fly down quickly, my body is suddenly held back. As fast as lightning, Yehua locks my hands and feet with a spell from behind. Seeing Jingshang almost out of the bell, I hastily say, “Let me go.” He doesn’t even care to reply, giving me to the local deity of Ruoshui. He softly tells him, “Take care of her for me. No matter what don’t let her fall from here.” He holds his left hand out and a gleaming sword immediately appears.
I watch him hold the sword and descend lower on his cloud. He heads straight for the white light shining from the Donghuang Bell. It feels like the sky is falling down on me. I intake quick breaths, unable to say a thing. The cold wind brushes chillingly across my eyes. At the moment Yehua flies into the white light is when I hear my own desperation, “Let me go! You have to do something. Yehua’s trying to kill himself. With the little energy left in his body, he’s clearly seeking death!” The local deity mumbles some nonsense back at me. Something like it’s a special spell and he can’t unlock it. I uselessly struggle. My tear-stained eyes watch the vague silver light around the Donghuang Bell slowly disappear. The thundering sounds of the fight between Yehua and Jingshang spread across the space. The local deity creates a small barrier to cover the two of us. What an difficult spell Yehua has used to lock me. I'm raining sweats and still can only move a little. Within the dark surroundings, the local deity whispers in my ear, “Lady, it’s still dangerous to be here. I’m not sure how long my barrier can hold up. Let’s move further away.” I hazily tell him, “Go ahead. I want to stay here with Yehua.” I’m only a handicapped at this point with no use at all to Yehua. Even so, I still want to be where he is, to see him. I’ve never seen Yehua using the sword before. I heard he’s a formidable swordsman. The sword he uses is called the Qingming (Clear Light). The light emitting from it blinds my eyes in burning tears. They continue to fight, each on par with the other. I try my best to watch but cannot determine who has the upper hand. I only hope he can hang on until Zheyan arrives, or at least until his grandfather sends more backup. The wind picks up on the shore of Ruoshui, sending dust and stones flying all over. All of a sudden I hear Jingshang laughs three times, then coughs and slowly says, “How unlucky to lose to you today. If it wasn’t because of my injury from 500 years ago, I wouldn’t lose to such a young brat like you.” The dusty whirl slowly disperses. Yehua kneels on one knee, supporting himself with his word. “You still lose.” I can finally wiggle free. I tremble as I tell the local deity, “Everything’s okay now. Let me down to the ground.”
When the local deity clumsily unfastens me, the Donghuang Bell suddenly releases a bloody red light. My mind suddenly stills. Hasn't Jingshang lost? Why is the bell still making sounds? Yehua also immediately jerks his head up. Lowering his voice, he says, “What did you do to that bell?” Jingshang lies on the ground, his breathe faint as he mutters, “How did you know I could make the bell sound without touching it? Haha I only used 70,000 years to link my life to it. If I die, the bell will ring on its own. When I die, I wonder if you'll be buried with me, or if the entire world will be buried with me...” Before he can finish, I have to watch Yehua dive into the bright fire with my own eyes. Who is it that shouts “No!” so painfully? No as in “No, it can't be!”? “No, it's not needed!”, “No, you can't!”? So what if the world is burned down into ashes? Then at least we have to be burned together. How can you, how can you leave me behind? When Yehua leaped into the fire, the spell locking my limbs suddenly unravels. That's right, if the master's life energy dissipates, naturally the spell can no longer hold me in. The red beam shines brightly then goes off. A black figure from the top of the bell falls over. I rush over to catch him. We stumble and fall onto the ground. His face white, blood spills from the corner of his mouth. His eyes glaze over in one dark color. His black robe is soaked all over, but I can’t actually see the blood that is now covering his entire body. Zheyan once said, “I always thought it strange that Yehua keeps wearing all-black outfits. I asked him once over drinks and he jokingly told me although it’s not a pretty color, it’s a rather useful one. For example if someone were to strike him with a sword, you won’t be able to tell that blood is spilling out. You’ll only think his clothes are wet from spilled water or something. Your allies won’t be worried and your enemies won’t be satisfied for having strike you.” When Zheyan told me this story, I was amused that Yehua finally learned how to joke. But I only find out today that he was actually serious. I can’t forgive him for unfairly taking away my eyes, forcing me to jump down Zhuxian Tai. Nor can I forgive him for saying he loves me now only because he feels bad about what he did to me in the past. Most of all I can’t forgive him for failing to understand me throughout all this time. In the end I was the selfish person who refuses to be understanding. I loved him twice, in this lifetime and last. I met him and I meet him again, the one person I have deep affections for, and yet I never really knew him either.
Like why he only wears black garments. It’s not because he likes the color. Nor is it because he wants to appear strong in front of other people. I somehow completely forgot –that he’s the type to swallow back his tears. 70,000 years ago Moyuan coughed out so much more blood than the drops spilling from Yehua’s mouth corner right now. He doesn’t have nearly the amount of energy Moyuan had that year. Where did all the blood go? I lower my head and bite into his lip. I ignore him and use my tongue to pry his teeth open, trying to snake into his mouth. I feel a mist of warm liquid between where our mouths meet. His inky eyes becomes even more bottomless. He pushes me away and coughs frantically. Clumps of blood spill out like blooming flowers. He rolls over on the ground, his chest heaves heavily, his body immobile. I rush over to his side and take him back into my embrace, “Do you want to swallow them all back? I don’t care how old you are, showing a little weakness won't disappoint me.” He tries so hard just to suppress his coughs. He can’t even raise his hand yet he still puts on a nonchalant act, “I’m okay. This tiny wound won’t kill me. Don’t cry.” My hands are occupied with holding him close, so I have no way of reaching up to his face. I look straight into his eyes and say, “Only Moyuan can control the Donghuang Bell without obliterating his soul. And even then, he was put into a deep sleep for 70,000 years. Don’t try to deceive me. You were trying to kill yourself, weren’t you?” His body goes stiff. He closes his eyes to say, “I heard that Moyuan is awake. He’ll take care of you if you stay by his side. He’ll be better for you. You should just forget me.” I look at him, stunned. That short moment feels like an eternity. His eyes dilate as he tells me through his rapid breathing, “Those are the words I cannot say even if I die. I’ve only ever loved you Qianqian, don’t you ever forget me. If you forget me, if you ever forget me…” his voice lowers drastically, then at last picks up again, “what can I actually do?” I lower myself to his ear, “You can’t die. Yehua, hang on. I’ll take you to Moyuan. He’ll have a way.” His body gradually grows limp. I yell into his ears, “If you dare die on me, I’ll take the potion from Zheyan and forget all about you. I’ll be happy with Moyuan, Zheyan, and 4th brother. I’ll never think about you again!”
His body quivers. After a long time, he smiles and says, “Perhaps that’s better.” In his last moments in this world, he leaves me with one measly line, “Perhaps that’s better.” Closing Chapter I sit for a long time at a mortal-realm theater to watch an opera. It’s been three years since Yehua left me. Zheyan said when he got there, Yehua had breathed his last, his body covered in blood. With unruly hair, I had held him slumping at the bottom of the Donghuang Bell, around us was a thick force field which nobody could penetrate. The bell rang for seven straight days; everyone from the eight lands gathered in Ruoshui. Tianjun sent 14 senior deities down to retrieve Yehua's body. They used thunder and pounded for 7 days, but my force field gave not an inch. Zheyan thought I was going to hold Yehua forever by the Ruoshui shore. But because the Donghuang Bell’s ringing travelled so far, it disrupted Moyuan’s meditation. As the sun rose on the 8th day, Moyuan came to us. I can’t remember everything Zheyan told me. At the time, I only felt like I had died along with Yehua. It was fine with me to sit there forever by the Ruoshui shore. Even if his eyes couldn't open, his cold lips couldn't smile, or he couldn't whisper my name into my ears anymore… at least I could see him, at least I could feel him next to me. I thought Moyuan would have a way to bring Yehua back. He came back himself after fighting with the Donghuang Bell in the past. I thought, if only Yehua can be saved, if only he opens his mouth and call me Qianqian, I would wait not only 70,000 years but 700,000 years. I wanted to bring Yehua to Moyuan and beg Teacher to save him. But I didn’t have enough strength to stay up. Moyuan walked over to us instead to examine Yehua and sighed heavily, “Find a coffin and let him go in peace.” Moyuan returned to Kunlun. I brought Yehua back to Qingqiu. Immediately, the 14 deities from Heaven chased after us. I felt that Yehua was mine, and I couldn’t give him to anyone else. A line of deities waited outside the valley entrance for half a month, but they had no way of completing their duty and return to Heaven. Then one day Yehua’s parents came to Qingqiu. His usually gentle mother trembled in anger. She wiped her tears as she said, “Now I know you’re the mortal Susu in the past. What sin had my son committed to fall for you twice? When you were Susu, he was so faithful to you he’d rather throw away his position as Crown Prince to protect you. You owed Princess Zhaoren so Tianjun ordered for you to pay back with your eyes. You’d also have to be struck by lightning for three
years after giving birth to A Li. You lost your eyes, but my son was struck by lightning for you. Then you even wanted to throw yourself down Zhuxian Tai. Just great. When you jumped, my son also jumped after you. It turned out to be a testing trial for you to reach higher divinity, but what about Yehua? Has he ever been well after meeting you? What have you done to repay everything he’d done for you? You didn’t do a thing, and now you even caused him to lose his life. Now that he’s dead, you even want to take his body from us? I’m only going to ask you one thing, just one thing, what rights do you have?” My throat was all dried up. I unsteadily backed away. Migu had to run up to support me. Yehua’s father said, “That’s enough,” and turned to tell me, “My wife’s words are caused by her parental love for her son. Don’t mind them too much. As for my son’s body, it’s only fair that you return him to us. Even though you two were engaged, you never officially married. It’s not reasonable to keep his body with you. He was after all a Crown Prince of the Heaven kingdom. He should be buried on the 36th level of Heaven according to traditions. Please do this for us.” The day Yehua was taken back to Heaven was a cloudy day; soft wind gently drifted in the air. I gently brushed over his eyelids, his cheeks, his nose. When I got to his lips, a ridiculous thought flashed across my mind. I wished he would wake up and push his finger to my forehead to say, “I was only kidding with you.” But... it was only a delusional wish. Yehua's parents placed him in an ice coffin. It passed by me as they carried it out of Qingqiu. I was only allowed to keep his blood-stained black robe. Zheyan gifted me a peach seed. I took it back to the Fox Cave and planted it in front of our door. On the day the first blossom appeared, I took Yehua’s black robe and buried it under the tree. I treated it as a grave which entombs his relics and clothes. I wonder how it'll look when the tree fully blooms. Migu said to me, “Lady, do you still remember that you have a son? Won’t you bring him back to Qingqiu?” I shook my head lightly. I now remembered I have a son. I named him A Li. But how could I take care of him when I couldn’t even take care of myself. He’d be in better hands staying in Heaven. After Yehua was taken away by his parents, I sat under the peach tree for half a month. I sat there dazedly all day where his image frequently appeared in front of me. He always wore his black robe... then there was his long black hair, the tail of which was tied back by a short white ribbon. He would lean on me while reading a book; he would sit across from me to paint. When it rains, he’d hold me in his arms to cover me from the falling
drops. I sat under the peach tree for half a month feeling Yehua next to me every moment. I felt so very happy. I felt happy but Zheyan, 4th brother, Migu, and Bifang didn’t feel my happiness. When it reached the 15th day, 4th brother dragged me back into the cave and raised a mirror up to my face. He angrily said, “Look at yourself and see what you’ve turned into. What, you can’t live anymore with Yehua gone?” He was right. I felt like I couldn’t live anymore. If my soul was destroyed too, maybe I’d see Yehua again. But if my soul was destroyed, I wouldn’t be able to do anything; I’d only turn back to dusts. Or maybe I still wouldn’t forget him even in that case. This way, at least I could still imagine him smiling to me. Inside the mirror was the reflection of a dreary, ashen fairy. On her eyes was a thick silk band, laid with a few dried leaves. This white band wasn't the same one I wore before. My mind started to click. Right, Zheyan changed my eyes last month. This silk band is the one saturated with his medicine. 4th brother said with a heavy sigh, “Wake up. Separation by life and death, you should know better after living for so long.” It’s not that I didn’t want to see clearly, it’s just that I couldn’t see clearly. If I knew how, I would’ve already seen through it. That night as I drank and smashed the Piecing Soul Lantern, I remembered things from three hundred years ago. I don’t know why I forgot all the good things about Yehua and only remembered the bad stuff. Now that he was far away, I couldn’t remember anything bad about him. Everyday my mind was filled with all the good things he had done. With thorough conviction, I once yelled at Lijing for only chasing after the things he doesn’t have; once he attains them he doesn’t know how to cherish them. Looking at myself, how was I any different? The bright moon hanged above the wide river as night went on forever. Without anything to do, I fell into a deep sleep. I originally thought I won’t get to dream of Yehua. But he appeared in my dream that night. He sat behind his desk to go over his documents. After several hours he stacked the reports on one side and took a sip of tea. When he lowered the cup down, he looked at me and smilingly said, “Qianqian, come here and tell me what the main hero said from last night.” I drowned myself in this dream not wanting to wake up. It was a gift from Heaven. His image had never once talked to me under the peach tree. But this version of Yehua not only played chess with me, he could also talk to me like when he was alive. From that day on I saw him every time I dreamed. Sleep became my favorite activity.
If we look at it from a different point of view, what I did wasn’t so abnormal. There is a mortal-realm anecdote called “Zhuang Zhou meng die” (Zhuang Zhou’s butterfly dream). It tells of a mortal named Zhuang Zhou who dreams himself as a butterfly. When he wakes up, he is back to being Zhuang Zhou. Then was it Zhuang Zhou who dreamed himself a butterfly or is it a butterfly dreaming itself as Zhuang Zhou? My life, too, has been dreamlike up to now. In my pain, I wanted to do what he did and turn my dream into reality. I was still living, only differently. And it made me happy. Zheyan and 4th brother loosened their watch on me as they see my conditions improve, even if I was sleeping a bit more than usual. Jiuchongtian hadn't mentioned anything about about a new Crown Prince. They only said Princess Zhaoren, Sujin, was banished from fairy land forever. She was responsible for watching the Donghuang Bell yet when it rang she didn't report it back to Heaven. Because she failed her responsibility, it leads to Yehua's fight with Jingshang and Yehua's eventual death. Tianjun, pained by the loss of his grandson, angrily ordered her out of Jiuchongtian. She is to reincarnate indefinitely, forever falling into love traps. I think Tianjun's punishment toward Sujin is a little too much. But it has nothing to do with me, so I treated the whole thing as an idle gossip. It was early March; Yehua had passed away for 2 years and 9 months. I came down to the mortal realm to watch an opera and met a young fairy from Fanghu Xianshan named Zhu Yue. She borrowed some coins from me to reward the singers on stage. I was surprised she couldn't produce her own from magic, since she was a fairy. But it turned out her parents had locked away her power in fear she might cause trouble in the mortal realm. From then on whenever I come down to watch operas, I'd always get to see her. It's been more than two months, and we've watched more than ten pieces together. Today, I sit from the same balcony to watch the opera. This one is called “Peonies Pavilion.” The hero is now singing, “How beautiful you had been. Time goes by ceaselessly. I want to return your longing, but I'm now trapped in a dark cell.” Zhu Yue comes in and finds a seat next to me. Halfway through the play, she whispers to me, “I told you about a distant cousin who passed away at a young age, do you still remember?” I nod my head to tell her I do. Beside discussing operas with me, Zhu Yue frequently talks to me about her distant cousin. From what she says, her smart and strapping cousin was quite a rare talent. Too bad he was ill-fated and died young in battle. His surviving parents had to send their son away so heartbreakingly. Everytime she utters the word “ heartbreaking” her face looks as if the world is coming to an end. To be honest I don't see how her cousin is so pitiful. But maybe I've finally understood the concept of life and death. Zhu Yue drinks her tea, sweeps her eyes around the room, and continues to whisper to me, “Remember how I told you that cousin’s been dead for three years? Three years ago they let him rest inside a floating ice-coffin on a lake. I came by and paid respect then. Yesterday, the very same
lake that has been calm for many thousand years suddenly produced great waves. The waves came up to more than ten meters high. They say it was the immortal energy around the coffin that caused the waves. But isn’t that strange? His soul has been destroyed completely, so why would there be immortal energy around him anymore? My parents say perhaps he’s not dead after all. Aiya, if he wasn’t dead this whole time, A Li didn’t need to cry all day like he did.” In a split moment the entire room becomes silent. The cup in my hand falls down onto the ground and breaks into pieces. I hear myself faintly speak, “The lake you’re talking about is Wuwang Hai? Your cousin is Crown Prince Yehua? He’s Crown Prince Yehua of Jiuchongtian?” Zhu Yue stammers, “H… how do you know?” I stumble out of the tea shop. As I run I remember I would need to take a cloud to get to Heaven. So I call for a cloud to appear. When I glance around, all the mortals are kneeling on the ground. I then realize I’ve summoned for a cloud while still in the middle of the market. At this point, I can’t even remember the way to the South Gate. In my haste, I almost fell off the cloud. Fortunately two hands reach out to support me. Moyuan’s voice rings from behind, “Why are you so careless? How can you fall from riding clouds?” I grab his wrist tightly and ask, “Where’s Yehua, Teacher? Where’s Yehua?” His brow furrows as he tells me, “Wipe your tears first. I’ve been wanting to look for you.” Moyuan tells me their father has given Yehua half of his life energy when Yehua was still unborn. When he was fighting against the Donghuang Bell, the two opposing forces ended up injuring him. He fell into a deep sleep as a result but everyone thought his soul was destroyed instead. Yehua himself probably thought so too. Moyuan says Yehua’s sleep should’ve lasted a few decades. But surprisingly the ice bed within Heaven’s tombs helped Yehua to wake up within three years. I can’t remember much of what he said. I only heard one thing, “Little 17th, Yehua has come back. He’s gone to Qingqiu looking for you right after waking up. Hurry and go home.” I never thought Yehua would still be alive. I prayed hundreds and thousands of times but I knew in my heart it was only a hopeless wish. He was destroyed three years ago. The clothes he once wore are still buried underneath the peach tree in front of Fox Cave. He
was dead. He had even wanted me to forget him so I could live a happier life. But now Moyuan is telling me Yehua has woken up. That he isn’t dead, that he’s still alive. I immediately ride out on clouds back to Qingqiu, falling several times on the way. Passing the entrance, I hop down to the ground and quickly run straight for Fox Cave. People’s hellos are largely unheard by me. All I can tell is that my limbs are trembling constantly, fearing I wouldn’t see Yehua, fearing Moyuan’s words are only comforting lies. The sunlight shines through the clouds. Under the auspicious light is a young man in black clothing. He stands, gently touching the gravestone before him with his long elegant fingers. It’s like a scene from my dreams. I hold my breath as I take two steps forward. I’m afraid if I was any louder, everything I see will disappear. He slowly turns around. A light breeze passes us. The sunlight dances atop the red sea of blossoms. He smiles. He looks exactly like the first day I met him, painted eyebrows and jet black hair. A few of the blossoms fall down from the red waves but there’s no longer any color or sound in this world. He calls softly, “Qianqian, come here.” -End-
Three Lives Three Worlds, Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms by Tangqi Gongzi
(fanart by zestzero @ devianart)
Side Story 4 – Ye Hua That year, lotuses bloomed gloriously in the Jade Pond on Heaven. The woman he ardently loved ignored his feelings and determinedly threw herself down Zhuxian Tai, the barrier wall of Jiuchongtian. Part 1 His mother had a difficult labor. When she gave birth to him, she was in pain for all of seven days. No other infant in the Heaven Palace was as burdensome as he was. By the time he wailed his first cries, golden light radiated throughout the 36 levels of Heaven. Seventy two rainbow birds from Mt. Junji from Donghuang soared to the sky and circled around his mother's chamber, dancing for 81 days.
There was a similar incident on Heaven in the past. That was when his second uncle Zangpi was born. The only difference is, circling around the Lady's chamber then were only 36 rainbow birds. Tianjun was so elated, he cried tears of joy. In front of everyone in Lengxiao Palace, he bowed toward the East and said, “What immense grace. Finally the Heaven clan can welcome a Crown Prince.” There was at last a destined Crown Prince after Zangpi was exiled. Being a destined Crown Prince means he had to act according to Tianjun's wishes. On his shoulders were the expectation of all the past Tianjuns. When he was nine, he once stood leaning on the door of his father's Lingyue Palace and gazed outside. There were little fairies with peach-buns on their head playing around. He was envious of them. Young children on Heaven liked to play and have fun. As for him, he's never played with anyone. Tianjun listened to Lingbao Tiansun and invited the only master in the world who was well-versed in both Buddhism and Taoism, Cihang Zhenren, to be his teacher. Each day from the hour of the Dragon he had to sit on the jade-overlay golden chair in the study and studied for all 7 hours until the end of the hour of the Dog when everyone else has lighted up his lamps. Only his mother pitied him. She would make dessert and bring it to his study. He was only nine at the time. The books in front of him were difficult to comprehend. He whined to his mother and she ended up begging Tianjun. Tianjun was fuming red. From that day on, until he ascended to Divinity at age 20,000, he couldn't see his mother anymore. Once, Cihang Zhenren left to attend Buddha's lecture in the West. Nobody was there to make him study. He sneaked out to play with Taishang Laojun's water buffaloes and got caught by his father. His father caned him brutally and said, “Why are you not at all ambitious? Tianjun's heir isn't like anyone else. When your 2 nd uncle was born, there were only 36 rainbow birds which came to congratulate. Yet he was able to ascend by the time he was 30,000 years old. Think, 72 rainbow birds came all the way from Mount Junji to congratulate your birth. If you can't become a High Deity before you're 30,000, wouldn't you disappoint those 72 rainbow birds?” His father gave him such a short deadline only because there was still a ghost within his soul. He offered such a ridiculous reason because he couldn't forget how he could never measure up to Zangpi in their childhood. After that incident, there came a new maid-servant named Sujin. His father told him she was selected to be his playmate. Even though he was still young, he understood perfectly
that there was no time for playmates with his maddening study schedule. His father was only finding him a babysitter. Had she been an ordinary maid, he of course would find a way to make her cry for mercy. He's afterall the future Crown Prince of Heaven. Even if he drove her soul all the way to Hell's level of Hatred, after receiving punishment from Tianjun, he'd still be his grandson, the Crown Prince of Heaven. Unfortunately this maid-servant Sujin possessed somewhat of a background. There is a branch of the Heaven lineage, which contained not more than 5000 souls. But whether male of female, they were all masters of martial arts. Everyone were generals or soldiers of the Heaven army, belonging to a special unit which answers directly to Tianjun. Sujin's father was the head of this unit. Twenty thousand years ago when the Demon clan uprose, Tianjun ordered an army of 100,000 to follow the God of War Moyuan to quelch the Demon clan. The group which Sujin's father headed was part of this army. After the war was over, only 90,000 soldiers returned to Heaven. With them was a bloodstained letter from Sujin's father. It contained just a few words... black ink blemished in red blood. He asked Tianjun to look after his infant daughter, the only one left in the entire clan. Tianjun was touched by Sujin's father's sacrifice and wanted to reward their clan heftily except there was only Sujin left in this clan. In the year of Hao De 63,083, Sujin was named Princess Zhaoren, and was entrusted to the care of Tianjun's eldest son, Yehua's father. Sujin was older than him by 20,000 years. According to ranks, he should call her greataunt. At first he wasn't very comfortable whenever Sujin stood by his desk. But eventually he treated her no differently from the parchments and ink brushes on the stand. By then he was already a lovely child, except he never uttered a word. As time went by, he grew from a child to a young adult. The whispers behind his back grew day by day. They said his outer appearance had an uncanny resemblance to the missing God of War Master Moyuan's. Even Tianjun once watched his face and sighed, “When Moyuan was in his youth, his looks were like yours. Although he has been gone for more than 30,000 years, he's not an ordinary immortal. Perhaps he was able to preserve a piece of his soul and returned to be born from your mother's womb.” Tianjun's words insinuated that there was a possibility he was Moyuan's reincarnation. Ridiculous. Immortals aren't recorded in the Underworld's schedule book, so there's no way for them to reincarnate after death.
Part 2 There were people who speculated that he was the reincarnation of Moyuan. Even though reincarnation within the immortal realm was against the regulations of the Three Realms and Five Elements, a majority still compared him to Moyuan. He really couldn't stand people picking Moyuan over him behind his back. He trained even harder after becoming Cihang Zhenren and Yuanshui Tiansun's disciple. When he was almost 20,000 years old, the great Buddha from the West Sky held a lecture one year. He attended with Cihang Zhenren. He discussed philosophy with the Guangwang Buddha and the Past-Present-Future Buddha for three days. The two Buddha's praise for him spread all over the lands. Tianjun happily said, “Zangpi was rather intelligent back then, but he can't compare to you. I must reward you this time. What would you like?” There had always been one thing which lingered in his heart. He bowed in reply, “I would like to see Mother once.” Tianjun's expression became waxen as he coldly replied, “Mothers only spoil their children. You have to inherit the throne in the future. Your mother won't know how to discipline you. She'd only turn you into an indecisive fool. Not letting you see her is because I want what's best for you.” He raised his head and looked straight into Tianjun's face, then lowered his head again and replied, “I only want to see Mother once.” Tianjun angrily said, “If you want me to agree, then you have to ascend to Divinity at age 20,000.” He was obviously being difficult. There had been no one in the entire world who could become a High Deity by age 20,000. Even the revered Master Moyuan couldn't ascend Divinity until age 25,000. Ten thousand years passed by after Moyuan's feat before Zangpi ascended at age 30,000. He had several years to go before reaching 20,000 years. His father counseled him, “Your mother is healthy right now so you needn't worry. Tianjun favors you. All you have to do is obey him. Why make him unhappy?” His expression changed hearing these words. He didn't understand why his father was so weak. He wanted to see his mother once not because she was especially loving to him. It was such a long time ago he didn't remember anything, including her face. He was only nine years old at that time. Rather, he thought he wasn't a motherless child. He should at least know how she looks like.
His father stopped asking Sujin to stay next to him. Throughout 20,000 years he had always treated this Princess Zhaoren like the brush stand on his desk. She never had a real existence to him. Whether she continued standing by his desk or not didn't have a difference as far as he is concerned. He thought it was uncomfortable for Sujin to have to be with him each day too. She could finally free herself. As his birthday neared, Tianjun had forgotten about their bet. The day before his birthday, Sujin searched all over Jiuchongtian but couldn't find him anywhere. Then thunder and lightning appeared throughout the entire 36 levels of Heaven. Lightning flashed across the sky, cut into the clouds, and thunder struck directly on Donghuang. They destroyed everything along their path, burning trees and grass into ashes with each strike. Every immortal knew this thunderstorm wasn't a normal one. It was an ascension trial. Tianjun's face momentarily blanched white within Lengxiao Palace. Once these bolts were released, no one could avoid them. To withstand them meant living with Heaven and Earth, failing to meant a certain death. Tianjun stood waiting by the Southern Gate with his subjects, their faces pale. After two teacup time went by, he rode on a raggedy cloud and unsteadily flew back, his entire body covered in blood. When he saw Tianjun standing by the Southern Gate, he summoned his last strength and hopped down from the cloud. He staggered and knelt down in front of Tianjun. His tone was cold as he spoke these respectful words, “Your Majesty had agreed with me that if I ascended to divinity at 20,000 years, you'd allow me to see my mother once. I've accomplished the task today, so when will I get to see my mother?” Tianjun watched him with a complicated expression and finally agreed, “Go back and rest first, lest you worry your mother.” To ascend at age 20,000 was a feat never before seen. His legacy spread like a wave across the entire realm. From then on no one compared him to Moyuan anymore. Everyone marveled at his quick ascension to divinity. But not many thought about his consequential injuries. The injuries caused by the three thunder strikes were naturally not normal. From then on, he could only lie in rest inside his estate. Whenever he wanted to go somewhere, he'd need others' help. Although they stayed together for 20,000 years, he never kept Princess Zhaoren, who stayed by his sick-bed, who brought him medicine, who helped him move around, who helped him eat and drink, in his heart. He only assumed everything was ordered by
Tianjun and gave it no further thought. Her care lasted for several years. Then one day, he overheard two maids chatting. They said Princess Zhaoren is infatuated with him. When he was injured, the poor princess cried continually. He was made to study for over 20,000 years without any free time to think about romance. Then suddenly he was told he had an admirer, and she was furthermore Princess Zhaoren. It surprised him, but he was sure such an absurd thing would never happen. Princess Zhaoren's title was granted by Tianjun. She was Tianjun's younger sister in name. Even his father had to call her Auntie, and he should call her great-aunt. The great-aunt has feelings for the great-nephew? Although they weren't blood-related, he knew such thing was impossible. He had always been a cold person. Even 'til now he never voluntarily went and look for trouble. By keeping her feelings secretive, Sujin was only making it more convenient for him to pretend obliviousness. However, he started to decline Sujin's care everytime she came to serve him. Then one day, after several rejections, Sujin asked him with a pale expression, “Do you already know?” He really didn't want to talk about this with her. Although he wasn't too knowledgeable about this thing called romance, he knew there were certain things that were better buried than shown. He quietly shook his head and turned to get some tea. Sujin grabbed onto his sleeve and trembly said, “I know you know. If you already know, then why are you like this?” He icily replied, “What exactly do I already know?” Sujin's snow-white face briefly flushed. Her hands trembled more violently and at length she softly replied, “I, I... I really like you.” Sujin's confession was naturally unreturned. What he said then had hurt Sujin greatly. He said, “I've always treated you as a great-aunt. My feelings for you are the same respect I hold for my grandparents.” The corner of her eyes reddened as she replied, “You think I’m too old for you? But… but your fiancée Bai Qian of Qingqiu is 90,000 years older than you.” He had been disciplined by Tianjun since he was young. But except for Tianjun, his two teachers, and his father, nobody had used such disrespectful words to talk to him. He was somewhat angered, but only said, “If you have the ability, then do what she does so that I can’t say no to matrimony with you.” Many years later he could still remember each word he said to Sujin that year. He has had to pay deeply for these careless words. Part 3 Another 20,000 years went by. He was then 50,000 years old. Tianjun sent him down to Earth to vanquish the Red Flame Golden Lion Beast***
*** Original text says Chiyan Jinni Shou so I'm assuming “Ni” as in Suanni 狻麑 which means Lion. 麑 alone means Fawn, and 鯢 means Salamander which are both not very beast-like >_< Ten years prior the Jinni Beast escaped from the Southern land to the Kingdom of Zhongrong. The bellicose beast slaughtered wherever he went making the citizens of Zhongrong flee rom their homeland. At the beginning of the tenth year, the Jinni Beast lusted after the Queen and kidnapped her back to his cave. The kind King hanged himself in outrage. When his soul reached the Underworld, he listed the atrocities caused by the Jinni Beast to seek justice. Although the Red Flame Lion isn't as famed as the four ancient beasts, its power was no less than them. Yehua was sent on his own because Tianjun wanted this to be another training opportunity. They fought for seven days in the Kingdom of Zhongrong. Although the beast died under his sword, he had also depleted his energy and was forced to turn back into his original form. He was in truth a majestic black dragon. But he didn't want to look showy, so he shrank himself into the size of a snake. He stayed inside an obscure cave on Mount Junji. There was a peach forest on this mountain, and it was blossom season. As soon as he crawled into the cave, his eyes gave in and he fell asleep just moments later. This sleep went on serenely. When he finally woke up, he found himself in a small house of a mortal. This dilapidated straw hut was a push away from falling down. The wind blew outside. There were sounds of crackling leaves under footsteps. The wooden door creaked open and in came a small pair of slippers. Next a simple white robe appeared, and finally a woman's face. Years of deliberate meditation threatened to disappear. He was suddenly alarmed. The feminine figure in front of him was the same one which once appeared in his past memories. She brought to him a wave of familiarity, like he had finally found something he had lost after thousands of years. His uncle Liansong would undoubtedly fan his fan and say “This is love” while the reverent Buddhas would undoubtedly clap their hands and pray “This is an illusion.” There is a cause for every event. He still hadn't forgotten 70,000 years ago when Moyuan sacrificed himself to the Donghuang Bell, he was waken by a thick hoarse voice. The painful voice kept calling out “Teacher, wake up. Please wake up.” It kept idling by his ears, refusing to go away. Although it wasn't calling him, he was waken by it anyway. The owner of that voice was the woman standing before him now. He lied still on bed. As if stabbed by something, dark waves slowly appeared within his usually placid eyes.
She asked him cheerfully, “Are you awake now?” and caressed his horn. “I’ve seen many different snakes before, but none is as beautiful as you are. You’re not like any other snake. There's even a horn on your head. How smooth it is, haha, how nice it is.” He furrowed his brow and silently looked at her. Although he wasn't in his majestic black dragon form, this woman was indeed ignorant. She mistook him for an ordinary snake wanted to keep him as a pet. There were benefits that came with being a house pet. For example, she frequently held him in her arms, talked to him, and fed him with her soft hands. She even shared with him half of her bed at night and covered him with a thick blanket. He guessed that she had never kept a snake before, because snakes don’t really need a bed or a blanket when they sleep, and neither do dragons. For many nights he waited for her to fall asleep and turned back into his human form. He’d pull her into his embrace and only turn back into a dwarf dragon in the morning before she woke. She wasn’t fond of flowery garments. She only wore white clothing which was plain compared to the silk and satin of the fairies on Heaven. But to him, her outfits were the most beautiful. He gave her a name and called her Susu (Su means pretty). September came in the blink of an eye. Cinnamon blossoms' sweet fragrance drowned the region. Susu brought back a mother magpie who has lost her children. She started to dote on the magpie and paid less attention to him. He felt the danger of losing her affection. He waited for her to leave one day and went back to Heaven to seek his uncle’s advice. His amorous uncle told him, “I've never been with a mortal woman. But there is a saying, 'children like stars, women like smiles.' Her knees are guaranteed to go weak if you flash a smile at her.” The playboy then continued, “Beauties have always liked heroes. You could also create a demon and release him to scare her. Once she faints from fright, slash the demon with your Qingming sword. That way you'll become her savior. Without anything else to repay you, she'll have to use herself to clear this debt.” Yehua turned the teacup in his hand and nonchalantly said, “I'm free tomorrow. Let me help you conjure up a demon to scare Shengyu. Yep, ordinary demons probably can't scare her. We have to find a petrifying one for her. Then you can jump in to save her on the brink of death. Without anything to repay you, she'll surely use her own body to clear this debt.” The playboy grudgingly laughed then sighed in reluctance, “You don't like the Beauty Tactic. You're afraid of scaring her with the Hero Tactic. Then why don't you use the Misery Tactic? Slash yourself and come sprawl out in front of her house. She'll naturally
save a dying person. Then you can attach yourself to her even after your wound heal with the pretext of repaying her. What is she going to do?” The teacup pounded down on the table. What a great idea. When he came back to the mortal realm, he formed a force field around Mount Junji to block it from Heaven’s intelligence. He draws up a spell and turns himself into a bloody man, exactly as he had looked when he was hit by the lightning bolts during his trial. This plan was indeed effective. Susu instantly dragged him inside and worriedly pour medicine over his injury. But since her hand was shaking so much, most of the medicine doesn’t even reach his wound. When she turned around to get more medicine, he quickly made the gash close up on its own. After she turned back and saw that his wound was fast closing, she was jaw-slacked. How lovable her stunned face was to him. Susu kept him in her home because she was too worried to let him go, just as he had wanted. She didn’t mention about his departure so he kept his mouth shut as well although his injury had long been healed. It went on this way until the 12th day. Early morning of the 12th day, Susu brought a bowl of porridge to him. She was a mild, tiny girl. Keeping a few small animals was fine, but feeding a grown adult like him was a bit difficult for her. She kept mumbling for words, feeling awkward that she should chase her guest away. He drank the porridge and casually said, “Since you saved me, it’s only right that I stay and repay you.” She quickly waved her hands to tell him it wasn’t needed. He leisurely drank the rest of his porridge. Then he glanced at her fluttered face and smiled, “I don’t want to be an ungrateful person. It doesn't matter whether you accept or not, I’ll definitely repay you.” Her face turned white then blue. He watches her troubled face and felt it was utterly lovely. He couldn’t have ever guessed that the next line she said would be 100 times lovelier than her expression. What she said was, “If you want to repay me, then why don’t you repay me with yourself?” They said their vows to Heaven and Earth that day in Donghuang. But 'Fate' is a horrible word. A mortal’s fate is decided by the immortals. An immortal’s fate is decided by Heaven. One can’t see it when it comes and one can’t stop it when it leaves. Because of his uncle Zangpi, his fate was to marry Lady Bai Qian of Qingqiu. He had never given it much thought. It was all the same whether he married Bai Qian (White Qian) from Qingqiu (Blue qiu) or Qing Qian (Blue Qian) from Baiqiu (White Qiu). But there was now someone he loved. It hadn’t been necessary before, but now he had to start a plan.
Zangpi's example was still hanging above his head. He couldn't run from the Crown Prince's throne even if he wanted to. He thought for days and finally chose the most dangerous route, which was nevertheless the most permanent one. Coincidentally, the Sea Dragon clan had some movements in the South Sea. It was a perfect excuse for him to leave Heaven. Soon after Susu became pregnant. Although he was overwhelmed with happiness, his years of training made him much calmer than other fathers. After conceiving, Susu consumed much more food. His cooking skills improved greatly with this event.' Within his predictions, the Sea Dragon Clan finally uprose. Tianjun expectedly ordered him down to the South Sea to quench the uprising. He was afraid Susu would worry, thus he only told her he needed to go somewhere far to take care of an important matter. So she wouldn't be lonely, he gifted her a bronze mirror and promised to talk whenever he has time. To deceive Tianjun, he purposely took a slash from the Sea Dragon leader as he struck him with all his might. The Soul Slicing Saber of the Sea Dragon clan cut straight across his stomach. The deepness and length of the cut were as exact as they could be. An extra inch and he'd been destroyed, one inch less and it wouldn't be critical. Just like that, Liansong came back to Heaven and fabricated his death to Tianjun, saying he had perished in Nanhai. It was a perfect ending. But beyond his planning, he never considered the most important thing: if Susu were to break out of his force field on Mount Junji. His plan crumbled and he was brought back to Heaven. Rain suddenly downpoured on the drought-ridden Nanxia that day. He had never known regret since they day he was born. Now as he lied unconsciously in bed, he deeply regretted he didn't make the force field on Mount Junji a little thicker. He suddenly realized his injury was what caused the barrier to thin out, letting Susu escape. What he didn't realize is that no matter how thick that barrier was, his wife would still escape like she did. Tianjun visited him at Sawu Palace. He asked after his injuries then unhurriedly said, “By chance, I saw a human in the mortal realm who is carrying your chlld. What is this about?” He stayed still in his bed and casually said, “I sustained some injuries when I defeated the Chiyan Jinni Beast. She saved my life so that baby is my repayment to her.” Tianjun nodded his head and said, “It's negligible if it was only a repayment. However, you'll be my heir. Steeping yourself in love isn't a good thing. As long as you remember this, I don't mind anything else. Bring her to Heaven if she's already with child.” Yehua glanced to a blooming lotus and continued to indifferently reply, “What propriety is there to bring a human to the Heaven Palace? She’s fine in the mortal realm, why bring her here?”
His cold expression naturally pleased Tianjun. Tianjun happily smiled and said, “A Heavenly child should be born in Heaven. It’s even less proper to leave him on Earth. Bring her up here once your injury gets better.” He knew then they could never be. From now on they would have to be strangers in that large Heaven Palace. He couldn't pull her into this dirty puddle, nor could he let her be infinitesimally hurt. He even thought himself lucky. Lucky because she hadn't loved him yet. In their relationship, fortunately the passion was all on his side. With the happy memories of Mount Junji, he didn't have any regret even if she forgets about him completely. Three years, she only had to be safe for three years. After she gave birth to the baby, there wouldn’t be any more reason for Tianjun to keep her in Heaven. Yehua could then let her reincarnate back to Mount Junji and she would return to her happy days. He himself would be more than satisfied with looking at her through the water glass in Heaven. He brought Susu to Heaven and arranged for her to stay at Yilan Fanghua. In the blink of an eye, two years had passed by. In these two years everyone saw he has no affections toward this mortal. Tianjun observed the same. But there were times when they were alone together, when he couldn’t check his own tender feelings for her. Fortunately only the two of them knew of his blunders. No one came to give her trouble in these two years. Although she stayed at the Heaven Palace, luckily none of Jiuchongtian's impurity stained on her. In the spring of the 3rd year, he was order to vanquish an unrest in the North land. He didn't know it was a scheme designed by Tianjun to lure him away. Just the day after he left, the new concubine of Tianjun, Princess Zhaoren, had acted out a play in his study. She faced his brush stand and spoke as if she was speaking to him, “You married a mortal merely because you wanted to punish my unfaithfulness for marrying Tianjun. You didn't have a solution and neither did I. It was impossible to refuse Tianjun's favor, being a woman in this world. Yehua, tell me, you still love me am I not right? You call her Susu all because there is a “Su” in my name.” He of course didn’t have an idea which Jin is the Jin in her name, or which Su is the Su in her name. He could memorize every official’s name from the numerous reports he had to read but as for her name, he didn’t even have the time to find out how the characters are written. He could scoff off these nonsensical words or call her out on her craziness had he been the one to hear them. But the person who heard these words wasn’t him. It was Susu. Of course he also didn’t know Susu also heard loads of other nonsense designed for only her.
Half a year later he returned to Heaven. He still hadn’t stepped into Sawu Palace when Susu’s maid came running toward him. She sobbed as she told him Susu and Lady Sujin were fighting on Zhuxian Tai. He hastily made way over to the terrace. But when he got there, he didn’t see that Sujin was trying to harm Susu. Instead, he saw Susu herself pushing Sujin down. His mind started to race, if anything were to happen to Princess Zhaoren… When he brought Sujin back, her eyes had been harmed by the tear-energy. He suddenly remembered Zangpi’s incident from 50,000 years ago. Susu neared him and said, “It wasn’t me. It wasn’t me. I didn’t push her, Yehua, you have to believe me. You have to.” She ceaselessly tried to explain. Her miserable appearance caused him aching pain. But she was protected so well the past two years that she didn’t know what precarious situation she was in now. No matter what she did people wouldn’t change their minds. Sujin covered her eyes and moaned. The maids from afar were starting to make their way over. Whether Susu had pushed Sujin off Zhuxian Tai or not wasn’t important anymore. The play Tianjun had staged is coming to an end. He sat waiting to see how his grandson will handle it now. The room drowned in silence; only Sujin's suppressed cries softly hammered on everyone's ears. His tightly clenched hands turned white. He was forced to agree, “Your Majesty is right. I couldn't see too clearly. I was only told by Lady Sujin that Susu didn't do it on purpose. Although it wasn't intentional, Lady Sujin is still gravely injured. Of course Susu will have to repay these two eyes. She's a mortal and yet she dared made a Heavenly Lady fall down Zhuxian Tai. It's unforgivable. She has to be struck by lightning for three years. Lady, gentlemen, are you satisfied with this?” Tianjun couldn't believe he could utter such reasonable words which put him at a disadvantage. His face blanched white as he unwillingly nodded to consent. He stepped forward and continued to say respectfully, “Susu was my savior. Your Majesty had taught me to repay my debts. I was the one who brought her to Heaven. Naturally I'm also responsible for the trouble she has caused. She is carrying my child right now. I ask that I can take the lightning punishment in her place.” Everything he said was reasonable. Tianjun didn't give anything away on his face. He lifted his tea and took a sip. Then with an agreeable expression, he continued to consent. His own eyes saw Susu push Sujin down Zhuxian Tai. Giving back a pair of eyes is to please Tianjun, to please Sujin, to please the other immortals, but most importantly to repay Sujin. If it’s not repaid today, Tianjun might plan a more horrible fate for Susu in
her next lifetime to clear this debt. He was afraid she wouldn’t be able to keep her life if that were to happen. After Susu unfairly lost her eyes, he went to Shenxiao Mansion on the 33 rd level of Heaven to receive his lightning bolt punishment. Everyday he was struck with 49 bolts. The day Susu gave birth to their child was no exception. The marks weaved heavily on his body. Afraid Susu would find out, he didn't dare stay the nights with her at Yilan Fanghua. To bring Susu back to Mount Junji was now a far gone dream. There was no way to erase her pain. He decided to keep her close to him for the rest of their lives. He didn't know that was also a futile wish. There was nothing he could do at that point to achieve happiness with her, the one person he loved. He was only her love trial. If it wasn't him, it'd be somebody else. He knew nothing of the cruelty of Fate. When Susu threw herself down Zhuxian Tai, he also jumped after her. Normally, Zhuxian Tai shouldn’t cause him to die but since he had also received the thunder punishment, it was like seeking death. Tianjun thought he would only feel sad over Susu’s death for a few days. He couldn’t have imagined his grandson had loved that woman this much. When he hastened from Lengxiao Palace to Zhuxian Tai to save him, he was already on the brink of death. In just seconds the majestic Tianjun aged decidedly older. His long slumber went on for 60 immortal years. He himself didn’t know why he had woken up. His mother couldn’t bear to see him in pain and so went to the Royal Physician asking for an “Erase Love Pill.” He looked at it coldly. Although this love of his cut into him constantly, Susu was still the only color in his 50,000 years of existence. If he loses even this one trace of color, he wouldn't be who is was anymore. Thus despite the pain, he couldn't let her go. His stubbornness toward Susu was like Sujin’s stubbornness toward him. But Sujin’s stubbornness caused Susu’s death and he honestly wanted to kill her in return. When the Qingming sword flew straight at her chest, Sujin in her red bridal dress faintly asked in disbelief, “Why?” He didn’t care to answer. He drew back his sword, coldly glared at her, turned back into the palace, and tightly locked the main gate to Sawu Gong. But Sujin was persistent. Although she was an orphan, she’d always got everything she wanted in all 70,000 years. Only he had made her fail time and time again. In front of everyone, she presented her family’s treasure, the Piecing Soul Lantern, to Tianjun. Three months later she successfully entered Sawu Palace. In a blink of the eye three hundred years quickly went by. Luckily Fate isn’t as cruel as imagined. His fate with the other person was finally coming to fruition.
Three hundred years later he met a woman in Zheyan’s peach orchard. The next day at Donghai Shuijun’s Water Palace he saw her sit on a stone chair to lecture his 2 nd uncle’s wife. Her right hand was holding a fan. The thumb and second finger of her left hand come together to form a circle; the other three fingers gently tap on the table. That was the exact motion Susu used to do unconsciously. That mouth of hers she was using to lecture others was also exactly like Susu’s. Something clicked in his head. He instantly walked out from behind the coral. His mouth which hadn’t smiled in the past 300 years now curled up in good humor, “Miss, I can’t believe it. So you’re Lady Bai Qian from Qingqiu.”
