The Seduction Technique The How To – In Pick Up
Compiled by Infernity All Credits go to the original authors and creators of the guides!
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Table of Contents: Basic Approaches w/ Tips On Getting The Girl You Like: Easy Direct Game Guide: Keep It Simple Stupid: Click! How To Keep A Conversation Going – FISHING Theory: Pick Up Lines, Openers & Tips:
How To Look Better, Feel Better and Be Better: Online Game - Pickup:
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Grabbin' Tits and Shit (Literally): The Validation Vacuum: Texting 101:
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Text Openers After getting her number: Common Question /w Step by Step:
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DHV Spike Workshop :: Natural Game Made Simple: IOI's - Indicators of Interest + Body Language: Comfort Phase and Jealousy: Kino - How To Touch A Girl:
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How to control your Bitch Butterflies. Leave regrets behind!: First/Second Date Ideas : Scavenger Hunt: How to be a good Wingman:
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Why are you insecure? And why does your game suck:
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Seeing Things Through Her Lens :: a Few Simple Daygame Tips [Part I & II]:
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Texting Advice 101:
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Mindset Guide: The Importance of FUN!: Ultimate Flirting Tips: Guide to DHV
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Rapport Building Technique
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PUA Terminology/Dictionary
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Basic Approaches w/ Tips On Getting The Girl You Like By: aFpe
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First Move Tips Realize that women mostly make the first move, which is simply gazing into your eyes whenever possible. If you ever randomly look at a girl and she is looking at you then quickly looks away, she wants you but is shy. Same situation instead the girl keeps looking at you, then she deeply desires you. Whenever a girl smiles at you at a random time, she was, is, and/or going to think about you. It is not always that a girl makes the first move, but if she does then it makes it a lot easier on you in case you ever want to get with her. If the girl you want to get with does not make the first move, then do not think that it will be impossible or even harder to get with her. When seeing a girl you want to get with you have three choices, approach her now, later, or never. NOW She is alone &you don't want to approach when she isn't. If you randomly see her &it is not in/at a place where you will most likely never see her again. Later If you do not want to approach her because she is not alone and you know for a fact that you will see her again, then later. Never Either now, later, or seriously; never. When approaching, have confidence because it is the key to her heart/vagina; whichever you are aiming for. Remember, every conversation should start with a simple, "Hi." Depending on whether you have seen her before or not, what you could say next may vary. It does not matter what you say, as long as you believe in what you say. You can honestly go up to any girl and say why you did so. "Hi, I'm sorry to bother you but I thought you were cute/adorable/beautiful &wanted to say hi." Then introduce yourself, they will do the same. (there is a chance they will smile before you introduce yourself) After you have introduced yourself, you can then move on to a conversation about anything. Where you are, the day if it is a special day (holiday, birthday), what she is wearing, politics, news, weather, school, what is new, what is old, your surroundings, entertainment, food, masturbation, games, and even Fatality. Honestly, a conversation about anything. Do not lie about things though, be a BOSS &stand up to what you do&believe in. If you ended up actually liking her, or just want to have sex with her, or you just simply want to see her again; do not forget to ask for her number. When asking for a number, you might have to notify her why you want it, and it is better if you do notify her before she asks why. You can simply say something along the lines of, "May I get your number so we can chat later."
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Be cool/chill, stay as comfortable as you can while talking to her and she will stay comfortable too.
School Tips Say, "Hi." to her in the hallways whenever you see her. If a girl does not say, "Hi." to you often or at all, or maybe has never noticed you; do what you know damn well you want and make her notice you by saying it yourself. Next thing you know, she will be saying it. Other than the, "Hi." you can always just smile at her when she is looking at you. Remember, if a girl smiles at you, she wants you. Class with her? Depending on where you sit, you can still get her attention to get her more into you. People do always look around in class, whenever she looks at you &you notice, do something. Stick your tongue out at her, wink, lip sync a, "Hi.", smile, playfully shoot her with your hand, frown, make a face and if she smiles back then do something else, even make a face again. Sitting really close, or even next to her? Even that close, you can do everything from the list on top whenever she looks at you. Sitting next to her &you too are close friends? Everything from the list whenever she looks at you. Footsie ^___^ Walk with your fingers to her hand & "kick" her hand. Poke her (ONLY ONCE! If more than once this will get annoying. If once then she will notice &maybe even want you to poke her more. If she wants more then remember, you do not want to get her annoyed, but do want to keep her from wanting more from you.)
WARNING If you are not comfortable, she will most likely notice then not be comfortable either. Being nervous is okay, but do not let nervousness take over to the point that it will make you not do it, then eventually make you dream about what would have happened if nervousness had not taken over. You do not want her to get annoyed, so if you perform something that can be quickly and highly annoying (poking), then simply do not perform it a lot. Giving compliments can be annoying, so it is best and my suggestion to also only give one, but a list of compliments can get annoying cause you're going on and on about one thing; compliments. If she feels uncomfortable and it seems like she actually does not want to talk to you, then honestly; do not waste her time, get her more annoyed, and just say, "Bye." then walk away. Remember, you cannot force a girl to like you. Do not openly go up to a girl and say that you like her because that could easily creep her out, unless you know her enough to actually like her. Do not get too cocky and/or loud about anything. Do not say corny pick up lines, unless you are just messing around to see if it works on a certain girl simply for the fun/hell of it. If asked about them, there are things out there that you yourself try to block out just because you think it will mess everything up, and that messes up your confidence. Examples: Runescape, having an erection, masturbation, sex talk. When talking to her, do not stare at her breasts like Peter Griffin would.
TIPS Stay as cool/chill/confident/comfortable/ as you can. I do not know how the fuck this works, but it does. Simply focus on doing one thing right, then somehow someway, everything else will fall in its place and work out fine. I suggest that one thing should be to actually listen to her, and whenever you respond to actually respond according to what she is saying. So, pay attention during a conversation. Respond in a way that the conversation will not be over. Try to keep the conversation going for as long as you can so you can get more out of her, and she will get more out of you. Start with staying friendly and not touching, then once you know her better; touch more. Hugs, arm around neck, touch her hands, &um; footsie with her. If you just want to try your luck with girls and do not know who to approach, then do not worry; approach anyone. Stand up for what you do &believe in. Which brings me to mentioning to her that you play games, cause some guys are afraid to mention that.
Scared to mention you play videogames?
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I know there has to be some of you guys that are afraid to mention this.. Stand up for what you do and do not be afraid to mention it, even masturbation for many of you. If she asks what you do when/if you are bored, you can tell her, "I just watch tv, or play games." If she gets more in depth about games. Then you should be less afraid to mention it, because it means she is interested in finding out the games you play. Lets be honest though, what girl not interested in games even gets more in depth about them? That goes for anything, not just games. Lets say she actually gets more in depth into games, and you are still afraid to mention it. Say, "I just play some Xbox/Playstation/Wii/Computer games." &if you do, then, "Board, card games, etc." Lets say she get more in depth about console games. She either likes to play as well, and wants to know what you play so maybe you two can play. "I play Call of Duty/Need For Speed/ Battlefield etc." If she stays on the subject, then simply ask for her Xbox and/or Playstation account(s). Or she wants to know if you are going to waste time playing whenever she wants to hang out, in case you too ever get to make plans. Just say the same for console games, just remember to add, "but on a rare basis" or be honest if you are attempting to quit and say, "I play a few games, but I am trying to quit them &enjoy life more." (seriously though, be honest about it; she might even help you with the process) Lets say she gets more in depth about computer games.
Same as before, she wants to know whether you will waste time, or she plays some computer games as well. Really though, if she gets this into a conversation about games, then just stand up for what you do and proudly say is because she got this far into the conversation, which means she really wants to know. So simply tell her you play World of Warcraft, Minecraft, or whatever you play! If you are trying to quit whatever game you said, then just say it. You can even ask for help, in this case it would be a date. "I play (name of game), but I'm trying to quit &enjoy life more, maybe you can help me with that?" Remember, only a boss confesses the truth, cause no matter what; you are a BOSS.
Easy Direct Game Guide: Keep It Simple Stupid By: Luchador This is a common question I've seen popping up all over the place so I figured I'd address it in one post and just link it to here from now on. “Dude, I see a girl... now what?!” People have been asking for openers or opening lines, so I figured I'd throw together a guide on it and improve on it when I have the time. First of all, I see a lot of people flooding into this site from all the other big schools of PU thought and such, it seems the general consensus around here is focused more towards Natural and/or Direct game. So this guide will be discussing mostly that. Few quick rules: 1. If a girl is walking by and you make eye contact with her, and you think shes cute, open. 2. If you see a cute girl that you think you would want to talk to, and you start to wonder what shes li.... quit fucking thinking about it, go open her. 3. If you check a girl out, open her. Pretty stupid simple stuff. So now your wondering what to say. I'll go ahead and put down my two default direct openers I go to pretty much every time. They are honest, and they are direct. The Bravery Opener: “Ok, so this is like the BRAVEST thing I've done all day, but I just had to let you know I think you're cute/adorable/(insert direct compliment here).” The Hulk Smash Opener: “Ok, so I'm sure you have some giant boyfriend around here that would probably turn green and throw a car at me if he were here, but I figured its totally worth it... I think you're cute (or some other compliment.).”
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If your mind completely goes blank and you're awestruck and can only think, “Damn... shes so cute!” ...then there's your opener. So I opened... now what? Everyone always wants to know what to say after the opener, so here's a few simple tips that will get you talking. 1. After the direct opener a girl will usually smile or there may be a brief second of silence, this is where you can introduce yourself. 2. If shes with someone, ask how they know each other. You can usually pick up on some detail during their answer and continue the conversation off that. 3. Notice something about her, something she is wearing, etc. Shes wearing it because she likes it, so if you like it to, then you have something in common with her (example: cool bracelet, etc) 4. Tease her about something. 5. If you're really lost, ask a question. 6. Use a qualification statement/qualifier. If you're really, really lost, push yourself. Do something, ask interview questions. Just hang in there and get some experience. Try to push yourself a little farther than you're comfortable with. Eventually, you will get comfortable because you will develop the attitude of "I've been there before." The more you go there, the more you've been there. (If that makes any sense at all) This is just a simple guide on opening directly. The reason my direct openers work so well is because I thought of them and they are congruent with my personality, I listed them as examples, so feel free to make your own and test them, or just say whatever's on your mind. You would be surprised. Yeah cool, but how do I know if she's diggin' me? If you search around the community pages, you'll find out about these things called IOI's and there are virtually 100's of them you'll hear about. And if you really focus on every little detail and really start to notice the way shes twirling her hair and how many times she blinks... … your probably getting blown out because there is much more important shit you can be doing. So lets keep it stupid simple, especially if your new to this stuff. Ways to know she's diggin' ya: 1. Her chest/tits are facing you. 2. Shes smiling at you/laughing at your jokes. 3. Shes closing the distance between you/seems ok with you closing the distance. 4. Shes touching you/ok with you touching her. If shes doing these things (doesn't have to be doing them all at once) and shes still talking
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to you, then just assume your doing fine and keep talking/progressing. I usually don't analyze stuff until I'm done for the night or at least with the people I'm talking to. Enjoy it while your doing it, over thinking will kick your ass. So if you read this post and see a girl tomorrow, you have no excuse not to approach. (And any further questions are welcome, will make additions as requested) ================================================== ================================================== ================================ Note: IF your prone to overthinking stuff and your still working on opening, then go do that first before you start asking a whole lot of questions, just have fun, dammit! ================================================== ================================================== ================================ Additions and Troubleshooting: Per Request Amendment 1: "Oh Hell, everyones looking at me!" Well... no, no they're probably not. At leat not at first, and most people are to concerned with their own life to really bother with what you are doing... unless your dressed really ridiculous or you're being very loud (and if you are... I mean c'mon, you're asking for it). I can remember before I started this stuff and I saw a guy approach a girl, and I can remember thinking, even if he blew it out, "Damn, that dudes got balls." Basically stated, you doing things that people only dream about doing (even simple things like approaching hotties) will earn the respect of strangers, win, lose, or draw. But if you score a number, or even just a decent conversation, most people will look at you like a god. Once again, because you have the balls of a snowman (3 deep and ICE COLD). Amendment 2: "Dude, what the hell is a qualification statement?" Its a very cool thing, my friends. Qualification is when you use a statement (or a question) that gets someone to "prove" their self to you. Most qualifiers statement has a pre-set frame that your hinting towards, or action/quality, that she has not demonstrated yet (and you want her to). So keeping it simple, its one of the many ways people can start to earn their way into your life. People love to feel like they've earned something. A lot of these will pop up in the context of the conversation. Couple Examples: "I LOVE dogs... are you a dog person?" (statement shows that YOU like dogs, and she now knows that she would be looked upon a little better if she likes them too.) Say your having a conversation about something you like, but before you tell a cool story (bro), you ask, "Wait, are you an open minded person?" If she wants to hear what you have to say, then she will say "Yes, TOTALLY!" or something like that. Then there is the good old, "Your REALLY cute, but lots of girls are cute. Tell me something awesome about you." Pretty much directly gets her to qualify herself, and she'll start
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naming off things that she likes about herself in an effort to meet your approval. Don't forget to compliment her when she complies. I could pretty much write a whole 'nother post on this alone, but this is the basic crash course. After writing this, I should add a disclaimer after the original post. If your still new, don't stress over this to much. Like said below, if shes still talking to you and showing one (or more) of the four indicators of interest (or IOI's) I mentioned, then assume your doing fine. I don't want this post to be too much about other big topics (like qualification).
How To Keep a Conversation Going – FISHING Theory By: Boomaler Fish? FISH? Yes fish. Why fish? Because fish. Honestly though, this post is my own take on the BASICS of how to hold a conversation with any other person, a great starting spot for talking to a girl. I know that there are a number of these out there, but they focus too much on specific situations. My technique builds on whatever and however she answers, giving it viability across the board. The one thing to keep in mind is: fishing! Theory: -Just like the components of fishing, conversations can be traced in much the same way. The true backbone of a conversation is the hook, which I am sure you have heard before. The hook is what you expand upon to keep the conversation interesting, lest you sit in awkward silence & the metaphorical fish simply swim away. -Connected to the hook is a continuous line / tether that should resemble the smoothness of the conversation. There are no breaks or parts in this connective tissue, or else the metaphorical fish would have no problem getting away. -Finally there is the reel, where there comes conscious effort in how quickly, how aggressively, or how sporadically you wish to catch that metaphorical fish. Remember, the basis to this theory is that all of these parts are connected, they act as the fundamentals to getting your pole erect. Fishing pole. Get your mind out of the gutter. ...No but seriously, tap that. Engaging in a conversation In this theory, I do not touch upon how to approach or make first impressions on a woman. It has been well established that you can do something wild (like doing push-ups in front of them, as seen in a SimplePickup video) to simply introducing yourself plainly and clearly (as also has been given credit). My problem, and therefore my theoretical solution, is based in the meaty parts of a conversation, pretty much any time you're not figuratively saying "hi" or "bye" (because c'mon, we both know you're gonna tap that.) In this theoretical practice, the conversation should flow smoother as time progresses, both for the fact that the approach is over, you're more comfortable, but also that there will be a good number of hooks that you should be keeping in the back of your mind. To understand this, I need to explain FISH a bit more in-depth.
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F.ind I.nteresting S.mall H.ooks Note that I specifically (and deviously) labeled "S" as 'small'. The hook does not have to be large, you do not have to have some grand conversation-starter geared up in your mind. It's the comfort and knowledge that is gained through all these small hooks that will give heed to much deeper subjects, such as philosophies on life, future boyfriend/girlfriend plans, etc - everything that does not usually come naturally in a conversation. Sample Sample conversation (note: This is being written off the top of my head as I think of it. I did not plan any portion of this sample. Also annotated within this sample are my comments, as I relate the example back to my theory): -Hi, my name's Dr. X, I just had to come over and meet you. -My name's Boobs. -Dr. X: Nice to meet ya Boobs. Y'know, I'm not really a club kind of guy. I love to dance, and I love the music, but it's not often I get to meet such pretty girls. -Boobs: I love clubs, but this music isn't my favorite. [Hook - music] -Dr. X: Oh cool, so you're a night-person? -Boobs: No, I'm actually a morning person. [She just kinda contradicted herself, and you're a bit confused, but whatever; she has boobs. Also, hook - mornings] -Dr. X: Oh jeez, I'm not a morning guy by any stretch of the imagination. I usually have classes in the morning and they're the worst. [Hook - classes] -Boobs: Yeah, I usually do my tai-kwon-do in the morning [What, is she trying to scare you off? Psh. Hook - exercising] -Dr. X: No kidding! I'm kind of a fitness guy myself. More-so weight-lifting than aerobics, but I do like to put on [music type here] when I'm at the gym. [Hooked - exercising, music] Etc. Notice how easy it is to hook off of almost anything she said. It's true that the opening few lines were dry, (infact a lot of this was kinda dry, but you did learn about her) but notice how it got easier as the conversation went on. Also, where I had left it off, that was the first similarity that arose, which could have resulted the rest of the conversation being more relaxed & familiarized. Just keep in mind that the above conversation happened as I was writing it, and it is fairly lame but does show the characteristics of how my theory is actually integrated. Afterthoughts Expanding my fishing theory; different kinds of fish require different types of lures, which is why you can't go in with memorized pickup lines and predict the conversation. That's the entire reason I've concocted this theory, for the sake of keeping conversation light, tethered, and informative. Keep in mind that not every conversation will turn out well. Sometimes the girl will give you less material to work with, or sometimes you realize that you do not actually have any similarities in a bad extent - all of which is perfectly fine. My fishing theory works well in this regard due to the famous saying, there are plenty of fish in the sea. So if you ever catch yourself on the brink of an awkward silence, or are struggling to keep the conversation going, just remember to FISH!
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Pick Up Lines, Openers & Tips By: Infernity BEFORE YOU READ: THE MAIN GOAL IS TO GET THE GIRL TO LAUGH, BE CONFIDENT SHOW HER YOU ARE A BAWS, AND NEVER MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT SEX TILL LATER ONE BECAUSE MOST CHICKS WILL REJECT YOU BECAUSE THEY THEN KNOW YOU WANT ON THING. ALSO STRONG EYE CONTACT. (Many may not agree with me but that is mostly my opinion and view on how ME, MYSELF and I pick up chicks and it does work) 1.) When at a bar/club/party when a guy gets rejected it doesn't mean that she will reject every guy, she might be looking for a certain type of guy. When i see this I usually try and go in and say this "So what pick-up line did he use?" If all goes correctly she would laugh and you would have a chance of talking to her. (Don't make it obvious your hitting on her, more as if your trying to make a new friend. She will respond more to you then she would to the other 100 horny slobbering guys that are trying to hookup.) 2.) Approach a girl, take out your phone, switch to camera, tell the girl "Hold Still Please..." if she asks why tell her "Oh, I just want to show Santa what I want for Christmas" Hahah trust me some chicks dig it, some don't. It depends on the girls mood, blah blah blah. But it never hurts to try. Remember, what doesn't work for one guy may work for you, just they way you present it may have an effect. 3.) Anywhere - (Props to Jason) Approach a girl and be like "Hey! I'm sorry I thought you were really adorable and I just had to come by and say Hi!" There we go easy way to approach, walk up with confidence, keep eye contact, firm hand shake and introduction... and take it from there. 4.) Anywhere - Approach the girl with confidence *Remember STRONG EYE CONTACT* and tell her "I'm sorry but you're smile juts kills me, so I had to come over and say hi." *This one got me laid twice already.... haha.* See this is a good opening to introduce yourself, BUT it also incorporates a compliment on her smile. 5.) Club/Bar - (Props to Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother) When a girl orders a drink, she probably will look around the place or at people before taking it and drinking it. Before she takes a sip run up to her and be like "Woah Woah, Don't Drink that! I saw some guy slip something in that!" She may answer "WHO!?" Tell her you didn't see his face blah blah... and hey If it works she will be generous, so offer to buy her a drink and get to know her 6.) Your OWN.... remember MAKE IT FUNNY, MAKE IT SIMPLE, and MAKE IT HOT and they will work if they are not cheesy Tips: 1.) Never make a sexual comment at first, leave those for a bit later. 2.) Keep Strong Eye Contact at ALL TIMES! I can't stress this enough, girls will then notice you are confident and comfortable around them, and so they will also feel confident and comfortable around you. 3.) Try get the girl to laugh, keep her smiling.
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4.) Confidence is KEY! Also when talking to a girl think of her as a friend that you haven't see for a really long time! It works trust me. 5.) Never use pick up lines such as "You fell out of Heaven!", "Hey Sexy!", "Where have you been all my life?"... NO Cut the crap, it's useless and will often get you rejected. The best pick up lines are as I mentioned "Short, Simple, Funny, and HOT". A simple "Hey, I thought you were cute and I wanted to come and say Hi!" Works Really well! DO NOT use cheesy pick up lines. 6.) Bitch Butterflies - So we all have them... But ask yourself why are you feeling nervous? Rejection? - So she rejects you, big deal there are many more girls out there, and rejections help strengthen your game and will auto-correct you in the future. Don't know what to say? - So, go up say Hi and start a conversation of what is she doing here alone (if she is alone). How does she likes this place, First time here, just say something that works in with the atmosphere. If you run out of things to say, just talk about something random. So when it gets quiet between you two, tell her something like "I like penguins " She's going to laugh because it is original and random. She Wasn't expecting it, it's new, it's funny, and amusing. 7.) Compliment her smile, her face, her jewelry (I never say stuff bout the dress she has on because it shows that I am interested in her body more than I am in her) Just don't over do the compliments, once in a while it's fine for keeping the conversation going, or trying to show her you see something else in her. 8.) When trying to pick up a girl remember BODY CONTACT! Touch her on her shoulder, her hand or arm. Try to get close to her while maintaining EYE CONTACT. Put her hands around your neck, and your hands around her waist. If you can successfully do it, you will have a better chance of hoking up later. If you are nervous about this, don't worry. Start slow by touching her shoulder or arm or hand just slightly and quickly. You can then escalate it slowly. Holding her hands, then warping them around you, or just by holding her waist. If she moves back keep holding her, if you see that she is uncomfortable (face expressions and reactions) let go and rethink your plan, you do not want to go in too fast. 9.) Be yourself, not someone else. 10.) Most people will ask "So how do i go in for the kiss?" Well what I do is i keep her face close to mines when I'm talking with her, keeping eye contact. After I put her arms around me and my hands around her waist, I kind of dance with her at the place were standing. Keep eye contact and try move in slowly, if she back away keep going but not to fast. If she keeps backing away then STOP she is not yet comfortable. But if she doesn't then go for it ** Also when you approach a girl and introduce yourself, when shaking hands giver her a kiss on each cheek. (They like it because they know only a BAWS will attempt something like that!) *** At the end of the night or when I leave the girl always ask to exchange numbers (DON'T PUSSY OUT!) And What I do is i give them a peck on the cheek, If you maintain strong eye contact grab her shoulders (gently) look at her, smile and try take your hands up to her face hold it and try go in for a kiss and follow tip #10 If she back away from this one, juts peck her on the forehead and leave.
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How To Look Better, Feel Better and Be Better By: Luchador When I first got into the community, I was amazed at all the routines, cold reads, magic tricks, and other random things. Some of them worked, some of them went... bad. But the one thing I noticed was that I could go out and use some of these tactics and not really improve my life at all. That was good... at first, then when I started wanting relationships with women that lasted longer than a week, I didn't have a lot of value in my life. I didn'tDO things, I didn't HAVE things to talk about. That would soon change, and eventually, it lead me to breaking these things down. Instead of telling you what to say and give you a bunch of my routines, or old routines, I want you to have true value in your life. Things that really happened to you that you can really talk about, so I made a list of things you can do, listed why you should do them, and if anyone wants, I can give examples of what I did to satisfy these goals as well as some sources of inspiration. I had originally wrote this up as a workshop labeled Project Attraction II, but instead I'll just list it here so guys can do it as they want. Lets get started.
1.Work Out: This is something that will supplement every other part of your game. People want to change, but most of the time they want to do the least while expecting the most. If your someone that looks in the mirror and is not happy with what you see, this is one of the best ways to seriously improve that area. Many people think you have to pay hundreds of dollars on gyms, equipment, and supplements. You don't. My recommendation here is to get in a routine, if you are already doing this, then awesome. If your not, I would suggest you get into habit of doing so right now. If your completely lost, and really want to keep it simple, then I will give you some tips that will really make a change in your life and won't cost you any more than your already spending (probably end up saving money). Once again, you don't have to do all of these, but the more you do the better. Stupid Simple Tips: 1.No more sodas. This is horrible for you anyways, water is the best replacement. Its tough because everyone loves some fizzy bubbly, but this will improve the way you feel, your skin, as well as your concentration (once you wean yourself off the caffeine). 2.Calisthenic exercises. Like I said, this is the simple way, but this is really efficient. Pushups, crunches, and running. Thats it. You can do the pushups and crunches when you wake up in the morning, altogether, they take up less than 25 minutes of your day (if you do it twice a day). I'll link you to an awesome website to get started with this. 3.Quit eating junk food. Candy bars, fast food, etc. Cook for yourself, not only is this healthier, its a great thing to know how to do that will impress the ladies. You don't have to have an insane diet, this alone will greatly benefit your health.
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4.As dumb as this sounds, take a picture of yourself (if your unhappy with your build) when you wake up in the morning. Every time you think about breaking your new healthy trends, look at that picture and remember how you felt when you were living an unhealthy lifestyle. 5.Cut down on drinking, this can also really help you build a true social competency. What does all this do? It gets rid of that stupid insecurity in your head that screams, “Your so out of shape!”. The more of those stupid insecurities you get rid of, the more you can think about more productive and useful things. AWESOME challenge if you're new to working out
2.Find a fashion/look challenge This is a great way to get your wardrobe straightened out and approach lots of women. There are two ways to go about this, I have done both. Ways to complete this challenge (only have to do one): 1.Approach women you think are hot, tell them your doing a project on dating principals (you are). Ask them to write on a piece of paper what they rate you on a scale of 1 to 10 and name one thing they like about you and one thing you should work on. Have them fold up the paper and drop it in a small container anonymously. Make sure they know this isn't something to build your ego, its simply a study for self improvement for a blog your writing. 2.Number one may be too much for a lot of people, so this one is a lot simpler. Approach women and ask them what would look good on you, or see if they will take 10 minutes to help you out. You can even do this with chicks that work at the store, either way your immersing yourself in talking to hotties and getting something else out of it (self improvement based) at the same time. The reason I recommend these two things is because I have done them before, and they helped me a lot. I only approached girls I thought were attractive for number one, and took the tips they gave me that I really liked and threw the rest out.
3.Be a leader One thing that used to irk me was how people talked so much about “leading” and “being alpha” and the only way they showed it in their lives was by one upping people and AMOGGing way to much. This isn't about that. This is about getting people to want to follow wherever you want to lead them, and its a very simple concept. One of the best naturals I know organizes events for his friends to come to all the time, some are simple hang outs and some are charity events, but everyone looks forward to his meet ups, and he is leading them to do it. To complete this task, its simple. Organize a night out with your friends and make sure that at least three of them show up. Get in the habit of doing this, that way, you'll always have people willing to come along and hang out because you tend to pick fun things to do. People may even start to ask you”
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“Hey man, when are we all getting together again?” When someone asks you that, they are willfully hoping that you take the responsibility of organizing something, because they believe that you do it well. They want you to lead. The only way to get good at this is practice and take charge. Start small with little hang outs and meet ups at your local pub or coffee shop, or some other event, and you can gradually work your way up. Don't talk about being a leader. Don't just project it. Be a leader. Cool video on leadership Steps to complete this challenge: Organize a meet up with friends and follow up with them to make sure they show up, then have a good time with them. You can be as extravagant as you want, but a simple meet up at a local place will suffice. Do this and this goal is completed, if it feels good and you like doing it, work on planning a weekly or bi-weekly thing with your friends.
4.Be a man with a cause There has to be something in life that your passionate about or that your at least interested in. Every really successful role model I've had believed in some sort of cause and acted on it. This challenge is based on you getting behind something you believe in and taking action on it. This will help you develop a strong opinion about something, maybe even find a new passion for something. So if your really passionate about running and health, run a 5 k road race. If someone in your family lost a battle to cancer, go to a rally. If your religious, do something for your church or place of worship. If your a hardcore political person, go to a rally or something that caters to your views and help out. While your doing this you will also be meeting like minded people and building your social circle. And when it comes time to talk about things that are important to you, you'll have something to talk about and experiences to back it up. Steps to complete this challenge: 1. Find something that has meaning to you, I listed some examples above. Set aside some time to do something about it or go to an event related to it. 2.You must leave your house to complete this challenge. You never know when your next big project is right around the corner, this is a great way and opportunity to find it. Also, if you meet a girl with similar interests, it will be easy to talk with her about this stuff, because your passionate about it. Inspirational People for this Challenge Steve Jobs EPIC Speech on making your own way
5.Create something This is a cool challenge to accustom you to the feelings of finishing something that you start. Men, for the most part, are in charge of fixing things. We build houses, fix cars, do
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manual things. It feels good every once in a while to complete a project and step back and look at the finished product. I got a strange sense of fulfillment out of working in the concrete business, seeing some of the beautiful work we did after it was finished. Its a really cool thing to do and a great way to get an internal sense of value. Steps to complete this challenge: Build something, anything and complete it. You can put a new shelf in your garage, buy a model and complete it, create a blog, write a book, anything. I've seen one guy actually paint a really awesome picture and put it in his house to customize it the way he wanted it to be. You have completed this challenge when you have created something and finished it, or if its something bigger (like a blog or a book) you have completed this challenge when you have truly invested into it. So if its a blog, your good after you have written five entries, or if its a book, finish you first few chapters. Invest your time into something. Don't sell yourself short. You may find a new hobby while doing this that gives you a lot of fulfillment, so make sure you pick a project you really think you'll enjoy. Cool video of guy using spray paint to create an AWESOME picture
6.Learn a cool new skill Ever watch someone do something that requires a tremendous amount of skill and just sit back and admire them for the amazing things they can do? Ever wish you had some sort of skill like that? You can, but it takes time and effort. In this exercise, you will pick up a new skill. This could be anything from a second language to picking up that guitar in your room and learning some chords and some basic songs. One person that has really inspired me in this area is my best friend and wing man, Everlong aka Jude. The dude has a very successful band, he plays all the instruments and sings, as well as speaks like 6 or 7 different languages. Its inspired me to really pick up on learning a second language and start working on the guitar thats been collecting dust in my room. Cool Resources Learn Spanish Basic Guitar Lesson Part 1, Part 2,and Part 3 Basic Salsa Lesson Steps to complete this challenge Simple, learn something cool and practice it. Start learning a new language, learn to play an instrument, learn to salsa or swing dance, anything. Practice it and you have completed it when you have reached a comfortable level of proficiency and put it to good use. Few examples: If your goal is to learn guitar, this is complete when you learn how to play your first song all the way through. If your goal is to salsa dance, your complete when you successfully dance with a girl (using this skill). If your learning a second language, then
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have a very basic conversation with someone in a second language and your good. Let this be the start of an awesome new source of value in your life. Some inspirational people (to me) that have acheived proficiency in a cool skill: Everlong aka Jude's hit song (he sings and plays all instruments himself) Coolest Dub-stepper EVAR: Amazing Dancing
7.Become a regular This one is pretty easy, find a place whether it be a bar, club, coffee shop, local place where people go and get acquainted with the staff, learn their names, talk to them, show them appreciation, make them smile. Build a good reputation there, and hit the place up regularly. Your building a cool hang out spot for you to go. This can also be combined with the leading people challenge. It feels awesome to go to a place where your company is appreciated and it sometimes leads to you getting cool little perks and freebies along the way. Steps to complete this challenge Find a local place that appeals to you and your beliefs. If your not a drinker, hit up a coffee shop. Find somewhere and get to know the staff. You have completed this challenge when: 1.You have been to this place at least three times. 2.Someone refers to you by name when you walk in/ show up. 3.When you've had a conversation with at least 3 people that work there. This can be a great place to have events with friends and get great service at the same time. It always feels good to be appreciated.
8.Clean up emotions This one is important, because a lot of people are held back by the stupid things that we don't deal with like we should. It clogs our mind when we go out and it can seriously affect how we view ourself. Its good to clear these things out or do something that makes you feel good emotionally, even if its just telling a family member you love them, or asking someone for forgiveness that you have crossed at one point in life, or even forgiving someone. This doesn't mean go around inviting people back in that you have willfully cut out of your life for the better, this is meant to deal with any sort of guilt or emotion that you can't seem to let go and your actively avoiding it. Now is the time to clear up some nagging disagreement that doesn't matter or making ammends with someone that deserves it. Steps to complete this goal Find something that is nagging you, in the back of your mind thats making you feel negative emotions and create a course of action and resolve it. Once you have done this, you have completed this.
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If you don't have anything, call up a family member and let them know you care or do something awesome for one of them, it can be something really simple. Family is a very important thing, so you can gear this more toward doing something with them. Also, you can combine this with the leadership challenge and have a family board game night or something. Fullfilling relationships with people you care about are very important, because they will still be there when other relationships fail you (girlfriends, acquaintances, friends).
9.Kick Fear in the Ballz This challenge is all about confronting something that scares you. If your afraid of heights, then confront the fear, go hiking up a mountain. It can also be simple things, like if you see a girl and she scares you because shes really hot, go talk to her. Anything that makes you feel some sort of fear, face it. Steps to complete this challenge Simply face something that scares you, whether it be a hot girl or heights. It can be a life long fear or just something making you feel uncomfortable right now. Facing fears and knowing what if feels like to overcome them is an important part of life, and a very good thing to come to terms with. The more fears you face, the less you limit yourself. Now, if your one of those hardasses that aren't afraid of anything, take the movie theater challenge. Take a girl or a friend to a movie, and during the previews or before the movie starts, stand up and get everyone to sing your friend happy birthday (even if its not their birthday). They should sing along with you, but if they don't sing the whole song anyways in front of everyone. Inspirational/Motivational Video
10.Be uplifting This is more along the lines of doing something for someone else and not expecting anything in return. It feels good to do something altrustic every now and again, it doesn't take much time out of your day, and it makes you feel like a good person. Positivity and a sense of fulfillment never hurt anyone. Steps to complete this challenge Help a friend change a tire, help a stranger do something. Walk an old lady across the street, open some doors for someone. Whatever you think will help someone and make you feel a little better, even if its just picking up some trash off the street or something. This isn't something you have to make a pattern of, but its an exercise to see how you feel when you do something for someone else. You can combine this with your “get behind a cause” challenge if you decide to do something charitable.
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================================================== ================================================== ================================ These are things that are meant to enrich your life and make you feel better and more confident about yourself. When you push yourself and try new things, you develop confidence, which can eventually breed competence. Having a sense of “knowing you can do it” even if you suck at it right now, you can eventually push yourself to become proficient at most things, and getting control of your own life. I will constantly add new challenges to this post and update it regularly. Feel free to to share your experiences in this thread. If you don't feel like your living an interesting and challenging life, this is a good start. You'll pick up many things to talk about, you'll meet new people, and you'll improve in many different areas. Disclaimer: You do not have to do everything in this guide, just picking a couple things will really help you and may spark something completely new in your life, you may find a new passion, you may simply find a way to have more fun. Some of these may be obvious, some of these may be groundbreaking for you, all I ask is that you read it through before making any assumptions, good or bad. Also, once you complete some of these challenges and you want to learn how to tactfully express them (if this is a sticking point for you) then gohere, to Everlong's DHV Spike Workshop.
Online Game Pick Up By: PinkTaco Well.. its been 6 months of online game for me, and it has now reached the point I figure I can give my online guide to my tactics and procedures to lay girls from online game. Some of this information will really not be new as I've commented on it in people's "help with online game" threads. But this should be a good rundown from start to finish with what to do, and hopefully will be easily searched for in the future. First, yes I am qualified to give my guide. I've spent majority of my game in online game these past 6 months. I'm actually a little disappointed in that because my bar game has dwindled. In that time however I have accumulated 30+ numbers and have laid 8 or 9 girls with 3 of those months being me in a relationship with a girl from online game. With that said, lets begin. - The Profile Your profile WILL set the boundaries for initial "Should I respond to this guy." Make sure your profile is set up in such a way that it attracts the ideal girl you want. Are you into goth chicks? browse some goth girl profiles and see how they design their profile. Mimic it with your own twist if you can. Me personally? I have a crazy sense of humor and I chose to go that route. Just make sure it is congruent with your ACTUAL behaviors. If you have a crazy and funny profile but you dont dish out some funny lines in your messages, it doesn't fit right.
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Pictures are also important. Yes, girls are just as shallow as we are when it comes to this, so you need them. I highly recommend NOT doing self photos in the mirror. You want social pictures. You with friends, other women, having FUN. One self picture isn't terrible but don't make that your only picture style. Don't have any pictures? Go out and make some. Trust me, they make a difference. Stay AWAY from "looking for intimate encounter" statuses. Any female profiles with that status are usually fakes and women will INSTANTLY turn away most of the time if they see that. Keep it to you want Dating, Friends, Long Term, etc. - The First Message Once you have your profile set its time to start sending those messages right? In my opinion THE MOST IMPORTANT part of the first message is the headline. After meeting so many girls from online game obviously discussions about the online sites come up. I've looked at girls's mailboxes and 99% of the messages have "hey" or"whats up?" as their headline. Your message will get lost in the sea of semen. I make my headlines anything random that pops in my head. Some examples.. Powdered Toast Dogs are people too! Bearded Ladies Big Bums A lot of the girls's I closed have literally said "I never read any messages, the reason I read yours was because of your headline." Now for the subject. You can't have a cool funny headline with "how are you?" as your message. Sure you could.. but we want the best results right? So lets make the first impression count. There are many ways to go about the first message's content. The most impressive way and the way with best results is to find something on her profile, throw a minor tease about it and then ask a qualifying question. example.. Quote: "One of your interests is cards? What is that suppose to mean? drinking card games? You aren't a drunk are you? I could probably see past the drinking if you can make some mean tacos.. They are my favorite food of all time." Keep your messages SHORT and sweet. Too short and the girl won't be interested. Too long and it is too much work, she moves on. The goal is to spark interest without making the task difficult on her end. Another style of message is to just go right into the qualification. This is the message I use these days simply because I can copy/paste it easy and it gets decent results. Quote: Well you look kinda cool, but before I'd let you into my social circle I need to ask you a couple of questions. 1) can you cook? 2) are you rich?
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This example is a bold one, and you can come off as a huge dick. So be ready to handle that if you choose to use this message. I respond simply by saying the message was a joke and she needs a sense of humor. Always swings back in my favor after that. - Holy shit she responded.. WHAT NOW? One of the major problems I see with guys asking online game questions about what went wrong is escalation. Always always ALWAYS escalate. Sexually, to a meeting, making a new friend, whatever. Always be escalating and always make her be qualifying and dont forget your DQs. I escalate sexually on my third response and to a meeting shortly after. The general outline of all my conversations is this... Opening message Her reply My DQ and qualify Her reply Sexual escalation Her reply Meeting escalation Calibration is needed in every response. Her number of smileys, the length of her message, every word in her sentence is all a clue as to how into you she is. Sure she may have responded to your initial response. But in my can you cook are you rich example.. if you get back a "no and no" message, thats NOT as good as "OMG like the other day I did this, and now i want your penis!" It works the same as in person, the less interest you get, the more negs and DQs you throw her way. The more interest you get, the faster you can escalate. Wow thats cool and all but HOW do you escalate sexually ? Easy, the same way you would in real life. You can ask a question that could be taken either way and let her do it for you or you can do it yourself. (Do you like to.. do it.. yourself?) see what I just did? as a joking reference to a movie I just made this thread sexual. Yum Yums. Really though, I just assume she is going to take my question sexual, so I tell her to keep things "PG." I like this way better because girls WILL take your question sexual, but might not respond back to you with a sexual answer... thus the problem that the conversation never escalates. So to MAKE it escalate I force it to. Quote: "So what is your favorite thing to do when you are alone? Oh, and keep it PG missy, I know how you girls think." This one line is so powerful. I have NEVER had a SINGLE HB reply with anything other than "Oh man.. well if I MUST keep it PG then blah blah" or something of that nature. So now you are having a dumbed down version of cyber sex.. what do you do? You better be closing. I can't remember who said it.. but ALWAYS be closing. It applies to online game too. Start mentioning an activity you do, and present the idea in her head of coming along with you to do it. I like milkshakes so I use that. Quote: "You seem cool so far, you could probably wreak havoc on the town with me one day. Probably start small with something like a milkshake... and work our way up to making fun of small children."
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One very VERY important thing to remember is that if she randomly stops responding and you think it was going well.. DO NOT GIVE UP. HB's get busy too, sometimes with work. Wait a few days, if you don't get a response then send a "Hey punk, what have you been up to lately?" Don't let it bother you, don't imply you are annoyed. If the convo randomly ends I will almost always send off another message and majority of the time the response is "oh yeah I have just been busy with work.. YES lets stay up all night and ****!" With that said, keep it to 1 and only 1 follow up message. If she doesn't reply, the "set" was blown. You can also, depending on how far you got, fire off a message like its a first meeting again. I will message HBs online that Ive actually had 1-2 messages with but she stopped responding. I carry on like I don't remember speaking to her and suddenly this time I have better results. Who knows, its strange. Also, I have sent an opening message that was never replied to, I will wait a few weeks, and fire off another. Bam, instant response. - The Close So she sounds cool with hanging out. Now what? Well, you need those digits son. I use to think switching to another online communication source was a good idea. In reality it doesn't matter. I only ever do these days if its her idea because she doesn't like the website. Unless you are a REALLY chatty person, sometimes it can be bad to use messenger applications. You can only talk SO long and when the conversation starts to die, its almost always a DLV to yourself if you can't keep it going. Once she has agreed to hanging out, I usually just ask for the number right then. Saying something like Quote: Well hanging out might be kind of hard.. I don't even know your name yet, much less have your number." Yes, you read that right.. I escalate so fast I don't even have their name yet 90% of the time. And no, it never matters that I didn't. With that said, you CAN go too fast. If you mention the digits for a meeting and suddenly she stops responding it was too fast. Yes it can happen but its much better to go too fast than not fast enough. - Summary In the end, you can do everything I've said here to the T and still get some HB's to not respond. Online game brings out the extreme shallowness in women. It gives the women a chance to weed out the men they "think" they want. And we all know what a woman thinks she wants isn't always what she really wants. I've been turned away because of my height, the specifics of what I'm looking for(friends, dating, long term, etc), and all sorts of other reasons that in person would never matter. However, if you get a lot of replies, but never close, then something is off in your game. Hopefully this was helpful to you fellas. Game on gents.
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Grabbin’ Tits and Shit (Literally) By: PinkTaco So I've mentioned a brief guide I had with how far one can go in set in regards to uhh "feeling up" girls. Not like having sex in the place and rubbing her junk, but playfully cupping her boobs and that type of thing. This is it with some new revisions and more details. It all started last halloween when I was out and a girl I was talking to started adjusting her massive jugs and i basically got a free show. I made a casual comment like "Man, I just got a full nipple show, fun times" or something like that. She just kind of shrugged and goes "Yeah, It happens, I'm not worried." This was when I first started to think that maybe interacting with a girls tits in set could be done extremely early. So I started doing all sorts of things (when the opportunity arose) to test the waters. I'm insanely surprised how passive/accepting girls are to showing or letting you grab their boobs early(like 10-15 minutes) into sets. Blows my friggin mind. Now as I've been thinking about this kind of thing more, I want to figure out if its more of a situation where its my approach to the titties(lawl) or if its my reaction to the situation. I'm extremely nonreactive to essentially everything that happens to me. A girl can literally grab my junk and call me hot and say its huge and i'll just shrug and say "thanks, now take your hands off." I'm very hard to impress anymore. So I' believe its that lack of reaction and not caring that makes them feel more comfortable with me grabbing their goods combined with buildup. Or a frame thing where they just follow my lead. For example, when I do hit a situation where a girl is OK with me feeling her up I obviously never flip out like "OHH BABY FUCK YEAH BOOBS!" I do one of two things. Depending on the tone, I either do it the fun playful way where its "kind of" under a joking context. ie. she just grabbed rubbed my chest and I made the comment it was my turn, fair is fair. The other scenario is under deep sexual tone but at that point you may as well be getting a room. Lastly, there are also just girls that maybe have fakes and are letting you feel how "real" they are. All sorts of shit.
So let's get into the brass tacks. What does one need to look for? 1. There are all sorts of signs to begin looking for this kind of behavior. First, and every girl in the world pretends to deny this, is how low of a cut the shirt/dress is. Sure yes, its to get attention, but its also because they are proud of their goods. The ones that are proud of their tits are the ones most likely to let you feel early on. Obviously. I mean how often do you see girls in A cups wearing low cuts without a massive padded bra? Not often. So the bigger and more shown, the easier. Also knowing if the boobs are real or not makes a large difference. Girls with fake boobs love showing them off. It doesn't mean much to them, hell, they paid money for them they want others to know.(be wary, these can be fake interest signals) I'm not saying you have to see a low cut to feel boobs. But it just makes things more obvious. 2. Now lets sidetrack to the padded bra I mention earlier. First gents.. You need to learn when to see the differences between boobs in a push up/padded bra,
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boobs that fit in a regular bra, and fake tits. The best way to tell the difference is how *tight* the skin at the top of the boob looks. If it looks like if you push on it, it will be a rock they are either fake or pushed up/padded. If there is some looseness its a good bet they are real and not pushed up. Why do I take the time to mention this? Well because girls wearing push ups in low cuts are also really likely to let you feel. Simply because all you are going to feel is bra anyway. (laugh) 3. How touchy feely she is. Some girls are just straight up more touchy feely than others and more receptive to your touching. Think of how touchy a stripper is. When you come across a girl that is very grabby then chances are she is going to push a boundry. Either a titty twister or an ass smack. When she does, that is your chance to escalate the situation. I have a theory that women who are attracted with subconsciously 'bump' a guy to get his attention. So when a situation like a girl's boobs bumps into my arm while we are talking I take notice. I will even comment with about how she should stop hitting my hands with her tits and escalate into that… which brings me to the next point…
When do you go in for the kill? Under the right circumstances there are a few situations where you can physically now go in for the kill and start playing with her stuff. 1. At any point she brings up the realistic or fakeness of her boobs and how 'awesome' they look. Any time a girl does this, she is literally forcing the conversation onto the subject of her breasts. Now, if you are beyond the point of shit tests, the conversations have had sexual undertones, and attraction is apparent, this is a signal. So the obvious segue of conversational flow is to see just how good they are. An example.. Girl: 'oh please, no girl can hold a light to my boobs. All natural baby.' Me: 'Is that so? *grabs* Well what do you know, they are.' I don't ask for permission. I don't ask anything. She brought it up and she tried to brag. I'm testing to see if shes bullshitting me. That's all there is to it. As I said before its not a 'OMG BOOBS' moment. Its a 'matter of fact.' 2. How much she is, quite literally, throwing them in your face. I'm talking her hands strategically playing with hair just above her cleavage line, arched back and breasts pointed directly at you, anything to draw your attention to her boobs when you are well past shit testing stage and attraction is obvious. If you begin to see this for an extended period of time, its time to make an attempt. This is a little more subtle so I will usually bring it up myself Me: "You know, if you keep throwing those things in my face I'm just going to have to smack them out of it."
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Her: "Oh yeah right, you like them." Me: "You caught me..." *grabs* 3. Kino has escalated in some form. This can be anywhere from tickling, titty twisting, or her rubbing your chest. I always call myself an equal opportunist. If a girl is rubbing my chest to check my pecks, then I am rubbing hers to check her tits. If she gives me a titty twister, she damn well better believe I am too. Aside from a playful punch to the chest(that can actually hurt really bad for a girl) I mirror any behaviors. If there is also a sign of escalation I will go there myself. For example if it starts as a punch to my arm, then a jab to my ribs, then we get closer and its a smack on my ass, then I'll escalate to a titty twister on her, or depending on the sexuality, just rub them right then. Understand here gents when I say I go in for a *grab* I don't literally mean I am sticking my hand out jabbing her jug and giggling like a school girl. There has to be some finesse to it. You need to be somewhat decent at kino and understanding boundaries. I personally, have never been chewed out or smacked or gotten a 'WTF YOU ASSHOLE' face but I can certainly imagine it could happen. The 'this is ok' signals need to be there or you risk repercussion. An uncalibrated feel will seriously fuck you over. So tread lightly. Ironically enough though, I have gotten free passes to feel boobs well before I had a free pass for a make out and that actually seems to be REALLY consistent. I don't expect or even want any of you to suddenly start running out and trying to grab tits as a part of your game. But its something fun to do, obviously.
The Validation Vacuum By: PinkTaco Here is an amazing post about some interesting insight into female behavior, and things to look for when coming across a girl that seems to be playing tons of games. Its a funny thing about dating.. its not hard. And when dating becomes difficult, there are reasons for it. None of them good. When the two of you are together, things just click. She's perfect in every way. In a world where women are either snobby ******* who don't give you a look in or every girl you get seems to turn out crazy...along comes this shining light. She's gorgeous, she laughs at your jokes, you can be yourself around her and feel completely comfortable, the sex is great etc etc. But it's not even just about sex. It's more than that. She...gets you. There's just one problem. When the two of you aren't together, you feel like a wreck. Why?
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You text her and can be waiting hours, sometimes days for a reply. When the reply does come, it's brief. She doesn't even ask questions. Sometimes it can be as simple and closed as 'Ha. Yeah...' It seems like when the two of you AREN'T together and enjoying this deep-rooted connection you have, she's not even that interested. This doesn't make sense: you could have sworn she was in love with you the last time you saw her! Shit...the last time you saw her was three weeks ago! You were supposed to go out on a date last week, but something came up at the last minute. She had to babysit/study/was exhausted from a tough day in work. Last week, same deal. She did say: "I'll make it up to you tho " so you'd forgotten about it. But now a week has passed and that wink has still to be converted into any ACTUAL making up!! This doesn't make sense. If it was as simple as her saying one thing and doing another, you'd know that you were getting played. But she's not. When you finally manage to tie her down...it's perfection. It's like that line in that Alanis Morrissette song: "An old man turned 98. He won the lottery, then died the next day." A lot of us spend our whole lives striving for perfection. But when you get everything you want, this crazy little thing called life can take it all away in a heartbeat. And when you're around this girl, it feels that way. Like you've found exactly what you're looking for. Like you've got to do whatever it takes to hold onto it...because, if you mess it up, you're back at square one and won't get another shot at 'it'. So the more you don't see her, the more your brain will naturally conspire against you to make you think that you're doing something wrong. That you're messing things up. Who'd have thought that perfection could destroy you? Well, I'm letting you off the hook. Because this isn't perfection you've found. Far from it. You, sir, have encountered a Validation Vacuum (VV for short). She's not a slut...not by my definition anyway. A slut is somebody who uses her sexuality to manipulate 80-year old's into signing their life savings away...or will sleep with her grotesque boss to get a promotion...They know they're doing wrong and don't care. They deserve a scornful name like a slut. The VV breed of woman possesses extremely low self-esteem. She believes that she doesn't deserve a man who can make her happy. Maybe she has daddy issues or some similar case that I would pity if she didn't chew decent men up and spit them out. It is sad if you think about it. A woman who turns herself from a person who
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BELIEVES they don't deserve a good guy (generally thanks to a previous man in their life) into a woman who genuinely doesn't deserve a good guy. These tend to be the girls who marry the cheating and beating husbands. The type we wouldn't be surprised to see on Jeremy Kyle one day...as the pregnancy tests reveals that the prick is the father of her child, at the expense of the unfortunate nice guy. But don't spend too much time feeling sorry for them. We're all dealt our cards, it's how we deal with them that defines how we will eventually live our lives. And if you're like I was in more naive days, you'll end up thinking about it then thinking you can 'change' them. Sorry, but life doesn't work that way. These days, my own personal attitude towards women is that I want to get out there, encounter as many as possible then find the best. To do this, you'll HAVE to encounter validation vacuums at times. They're everywhere. And you'll HAVE to fine tune your selection process to rule them out immediately. Here's some further helpful hints for spotting them: They're in constant contact with every ex they've ever had and try to make you feel as if it's normal behaviour. (I could do a whole article on this point alone. In short: no, no, it's not) They don't feel as if they should be held accountable for their behaviour (i.e. let you know where they're going, what they're doing etc. They'll be deliberately secretive or illusive They've got an excuse for everything and they all seem believable at the time. (Validation vacuums are generally good, compulsive liars) You're constantly second priority in their plans. In other words, they'll make time for friends, family, school, sleep, procrastinating, almost anything above you. And, once again, they'll attempt to make you feel as if this is all normal behaviour and that YOU'RE in the wrong for thinking otherwise. She will do, say, act however you want to keep you interested. If she feels like she's losing you and the ONLY thing she can do is give you a blow-job to hold onto you...despite the fact that she rarely gives blow-jobs...she'll do it in a heartbeat. The VV's need this constant attention and validation from men or it'll make them confront emotions that they'd much rather avoid. In short: If you find yourself thinking, "This doesn't seem right..." but instead of questioning this girl's logic, you question your own then you are with a VV. Oh, and because I know that a fair few women actually read this, if you apply to the above you ARE a VV. You can reply and argue with me if you want...it'll give guys a good heads-up. Here's my rationale towards these girls: GREAT for quick hook-up's, flings etc. GREAT for random, exciting adventures and experiences.
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GREAT for boredom texts, calls etc. HORRIBLE for everything else. This woman will not be your loving girlfriend (she may suck it up and be a terrible gf for a while though if she's short of options) or your wife. When you're given the choice between spending time with this woman and pretty much anyone else, choose the latter. Once again, I'll re-iterate: these women shouldn't be treated with scorn. Often, very sad circumstances lead them to being this way. But it's NOT your responsibility to help them. Nor is it possible to. You can't help someone who doesn't truly WANT to be helped. And you can't MAKE them want to be helped. You're not going to change them. If someone is BUILT to respond negatively to being treated well, then what can you do for them? Feel sorry for them from afar. Since it IS your responsibility to give yourself the best life possible, go out and actually find the perfect girl instead of settling for mutton dressed as lamb.
Texting 101 By: TheGeneral I've noticed a lot of guys on here who are having troubles with their texting. This is a strong point of mine so I'll give you guys some quick tips for now. Timing: Don't respond immediately. Copy her rhythm: if she texts you back after 10 minutes, wait 10-15 minutes before responding. If she takes longer, wait at least that same amount of time. Be unpredictable once in a while: sometimes respond immediately, sometimes go off the radar for a few hours. The reason for this is that you are a busy man. Added perk is that you will be texting with her all day instead of a few minutes. *exceptions* I recommend a minimum of 2-5 minutes and a maximum of 3 hours. If you are exchanging as fast as a conversation, don't wait those 2-5 minutes First Text Send your first text as soon as you want. Preferably the same night/day. Make it short and interesting, talk about something you already talked about. Just not:"How was your weekend?" Always sign your name under the first text to avoid the "Who's this?"
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It's not an interview So don't keep asking her questions about stupid shit just to make conversation. Instead make statements or ask questions with multiple hooks she can respond to Flaking This is when a girl doesn't respond. What you need is a strong hook, something that will make her curious and want to respond, but it shouldn't be a question. An example is the three secrets, this is something I used:
"I have three secrets I've been keeping from you, you can know the first two, but I really can't tell you anything about the third one" She'll want to know about the third one, which will be your hook for meeting up. 50% of the time you'll get this reply: "whats the third one?" "Whoa whoa, you don't even know the first two.." (react really slow, if she waits 15 minutes to text, you wait 40 to respond, if she waits 2 hours, wait 3, if she texts immediately, text after 5-10 minutes. And sometimes just wait an hour extra to text back) The first two should be something like (but be creative, these can be anything): " #1 I really thought it was adorable that you thought I didn't notice you checking me out all night" #2 something about the conversation you had.. doesn't matter that much. if you don't know anything to say -> "I have the same outfit you wore, but it looks so much better on me" (you can only pull this kind of ridiculous shit if you have been flirting with her and making her laugh a lot) "#3 is not something I can text you about, meet me at x at x and you might get this secret out of me.. First round is on you" One word responses Your texts aren't fun enough. Or she is not in the mood to text. Wait for a better opportunity or come with an amazing text. See Flaking to see a response with a high hook value. Make it sexual as soon as you are flirting You are a fun and sexual guy. At least that is what you are trying to convey with your texts. Make innuendo when the conversation allows and see how she reacts. I'll Usually send a first text that uses callback humor (a joke about something we already talked about) Then after she sends something like: "Ha, you're funny" I'll send: "Are you kissing my ass or flirting with me?" Be super confident! I get texts like: "You're not shy at all, are you" - "Yeah, I am. I am like totally super shy you know.." (this makes it obvious that I'm being sarcastic)
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This is a text I sent recently Me: "Thinking about your nipples and applesauce" She: "Oh, nice combo" Me: "Not even in the mood for applesauce though.." Being aloof and compliments When you respond to her slow enough. And she does this you are golden: She sends two texts, with a big enough time difference. You know that she has been thinking about you. Reward that behavious with a complimenting her in the right way. Make your compliments genuine and unique. See the difference between: "I like your hair style" and "I like how wild your hair is, it makes me want to play with it while I kiss you" (if you've already kissed her, or haven't..)
Text Opener after Getting Her Number By: Raydar (opener) What are you doing, cutie? :-) (opener) SURPRISE! (opener) Knock knock... (opener) How's my favorite little brat doing? (opener) Ciao bella! / Mi amore! / My cheri amore! (opener) I just made you open your phone for no reason...looks like I got you in check =] (opener) Hey goof, I bet my weekend can beat up your weekend. (opener) What sort of trouble are you causing? (opener) I am luring girls to my house with candy, which do you prefer skittles or M&M's? (opener) Hey..do me a favor and text me right back. Just hi or something. My friends dont believe retards can text. We'll show em lil buddy (opener) I know my math u+i equals 69 (opener) Girls are gross... (opener) Hey princess, I Just came back from the aquarium and I saw the cutest fish there...it reminded me of you :P (opener) I hope you are smiling. If not just think of me! (opener) Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking sexy ass people! You will be safe, I'm just texting to say goodbye (opener) Remember guys tomorrow is "Hug a retard" day...So don't freak out like you did last year, NO ONE IS TRYING TO HURT YOU! (opener) I miss you and wanna see you, but this dumb security guard won't let me in the zoo. Is there any way you can escape? (opener) Why'd you have to give your mom my phone number..? She won't quit calling me now.. (opener) Did you know a blue whales tongue weighs as much as an elephant!? That’s ridiculous… Gotta love animal planet during the lunch break… (for flakes) I just met your twin (for flakes) I like talking to you and I don't play games. I think we're really good together. Lets try it if not that's cool and I'm glad we met.
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(push-pull) Out of all the (first name) (last name)'s I know... I think your my favorite. (push-pull) You just popped into my head so Hi...now please stay out of there (push-pull) Everytime I see u, I smile. When u walk, I laugh. When u speak, I get excited. For some reason, retarded people amuse the hell out of me! (for same night) Sweet dreams, sexy. :-) [name] (for same night) Hey I hope you got home safe. [name] (attraction) Let's fly to Las Vegas, get married, argue about our third kid's name, divorce, and grow old lonely and depressed (attraction) I don't know who you're boyfriend is...but he's not spanking you enough! (attraction) I don't think you're ready for this jelly (attraction) Awww, you're so sweet. You're making me get diabetes. (attraction) I just don't think we should do this anymore...Sometimes you make me feel like I am just a piece of meat. (comfort) I was thinking of you... (comfort) Something about u seems to always make me smile. (sex) This is a breathalizer test. Please blow in the phone.....Result: Positive 90% for sperm breath MULTI-LINERS "congratulations" "for what?" "what did i do?" "why?" "i was just thinking of u. congratulations =)" "Who is this?" [girls name] "I know...I'm just being an ass " "Did you know that LIPS and KISS are typed the same way on your phone?" "I love how soft your lips are, I can't wait to kiss them again."
Common Question w/ Step by Step By: Chinko Greetings players. I've noticed that there are a number of areas that keep arising in the forums repeatedly; so being blessed with an empty Friday evening tonight what better way to spend it than to share it with you guys? - (Perhaps picking up girls myself?) Pssht don't make me laugh. It's also worth noting that many of the answers given here are NOT the only way to respond to a situation, there are many other threads already out there giving advise, some of which I will try to include into this one. Context: Section A - Bitch butterfly's Section B - Opening lines
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Section C - Keeping the conversation flowing Section D - Flirting Section E - Lame girls and awkward situations. =========================SECTION A======================== 1) I want to approach a girl but whenever it comes down to it I suddenly contract a mild case of "Bitch Butterfly's*cough cough* - We've all been here gents, every single one of us, from mere peasants such as myself to the Gods: Kong and Jason. But how do we treat this unwelcome guest? Well let's revisit one of Simple Pickup's videos and listen to what Kong has to say about it himself:
"You've got to realize that the "bitch butterfly's anxiety" is a completely irrational fear. Think of it as a 'No risk, high reward situation' If you go over to the girl and say "Hi" and she rejects you than nobody loses; you walk away and life goes back to normal. But in the case that she does like you and you have a good connection then you could potentially get a girlfriend." Did you get all that? Kong could not be more accurate; i'm sure you've all heard the term "You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take" it fits perfectly here. By not talking to that girl in the supermarket or passing by the opportunity to walk that cute girl home you've already in essence been rejected. If you only gain interest of one girl out of ten, call me 'Pythagoras' but that's "ONE MORE THAN ZERO". The moment you decide to deceive yourself into thinking 'Oh that girls not my type' or 'She's with her friends' that's the moment you reinforce this cowardly response of running away and allowing the 'Bitch Butterfly's to control the evening, chances are the next time you find yourself in a similar situation you probably won't do much else different...you'll just keep on running and that's the way thing will be. On the other hand should you wish to put an end to this tragic cycle of lust and depression than you MUST push yourself to your limits and BEYOND your comfort zone. Another great tip from Kong is: "So the point here is; don't be afraid to fail. In fact, strive for it." - Again, this could not be more accurate; anticipating and knowing you're going to get rejected is like rock upon water, it'll sink and be swept away instantly. (I got that from Lord of the Rings by the way... a nerd, that I am) Rejection is COMPULSORY if you plan on being successful and changing your life. That's the price my friends and is it worth paying? Is the temporary comfort you feel now more valuable than the excitement of taking a girls number down and making out with her later on? Remember, rejection is temporary; the skills you'll gain from it are indefinite and can be used for the rest of your life. =========================SECTION B======================== "Fine, i'll go up to that cutey pie over there but what do I say?" A fine question good sir, there is no real 'set in stone' opening line that is guaranteed to work; different people react to different things; that's just how things are unfortunately. However what I can supply you with is a free, casual and yet effective example. One such example is to ask a girl or group for directions to any random place, the place
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doesn't even have to exist; it could be the 'Geneva Convention' be creative. Once the girls are aimlessly pointing directions, just interrupt them in the middle of their sentence and say 'Sorry I lied, I already knew where 'x' was, I just thought you guys were cute and I needed an excuse to come over and say hi hehe" Lo' and behold gents, you've just: 1) Successfully approached a girl - Huzzah. 2) Mentioned she was cute which lets her know right of the bat that your interested. 3) Not come across as some cheesy bastard or a timid socially awkward penguin. If it's a girl you see everyday then it's not much different, come across as flirty by complimenting her and don't do some cliché cheesy line. If you see her in the corridor you could just stop her and say "Hey (insert name), what are you up to?" Wait for her response and then just slip in 'How come you've come in dressed up so nicely today? Are you seeing your boyfriend after school or something? haha." - It's important to say it with a smile; of course you don't have to follow this template but i'm just giving ideas as to how you could compliment a girl. ==========================SECTION C======================= "Right I've approached her and introduced myself...but now what? How do I keep the conversation flowing?" One of the more common tips I give here on the forum is to ask 'OPEN QUESTIONS'. Open questions are just standard normal questions you would ask but spiced up to allow the other individual to answer with greater flexibility.
An example of a normal question is: "What type of music do you listen to?"
An OPEN QUESTION is: "What sort of music are you into? Please don't mention Justin Bieber or i'll kill myself right here right now haha"
See the difference? Pretty much everyone has an opinion on Justin Bieber...especially those cold, sinister, soul devouring girls.... heck you can even lie and use this to your advantage and say 'I admire his bravery' or some nonsense like that, it allows the pair of you to break the ice and have a great conversation. - Now excuse me as I attempt to purify myself and find meaning to my existence for justifying Justin. Another tip I can give to keep the conversation flowing is to ask random questions. An example from Simple Pick up is asking 'Hey what's your favorite vegetable?' Here's the video link, skip to '4:10' in the video it's really useful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIu20...3&feature=plcp One more example that I use on girls at my school is 'I had the craziest dream last night and my friends and you were in it, needless to say you all died' - It usually has them laughing and wanting to know more about their gruesome demise. ========================SECTION D========================= "Well the conversation is going well but how do I become more flirtatious and give off the
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right signals?" This is perhaps the funnest part of it all, because it is here that you enjoy the fruits of your labor. Here is another example from Simple Pick up in action. Skip to "0:58" in the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aw0zz...eature=channel What Jason does is say: 'I know how to palm read, here give me your hands' the girl asks '"Do you even know how to do it?" and Jason replies "Naa i'm just using it as an excuse to hold her hands" which had them laughing. Furthermore! (yes there's more) at "1:20" in the video Jason goes on to describe the type of guys the girl is into and what he actually says is describe everything that he was wearing i.e. roller blades and tight spandex clothing. Like a boss. Another tip is asking for a girls hand and twirling her around; and then replying "Now I have an excuse to hold your hands" It's all about being silly and cheeky fella's. A more passive yet effective tip is through eye contact. Your eye contact tells the girl how comfortable you are. Kong goes on to say "If your eyes are darting around the room while your talking to her, she's going to think your an insecure person or that your very very nervous, but if your going to be looking deep into her eyes she's going to know your a very confident person, What you need to do is close the distance between you and the girl, in a romantic and sexual environmental such as a bar or club you'll do well to get as close as you can to her. Do not however stare for too long or else it comes across as creepy; if you do need to look away do in the manner so that your eyes are slowly being drawn back to hers. Skip to "1:20" in the video for a demonstration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRhHe...4&feature=plcp If your picking up during the day just focus on the first two tips given i.e. holding hands etc. ==========================SECTION E======================= "Ok but what do I do if the girl i'm picking up is really lame and isn't making any effort in the conversation?" It's happened to me before and it's happened to the Kong, Jessie and Jason. Let's just put this into perspective; if you came up to this girl and said some cheesy pick up line such as "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Then I would understand her response. If you just came up to her and said 'Hello' and that's it it'll be dead awkward. If you came in casual but sweet and interesting you'll have landed right smack down in the middle and no one could ask more from you. - Except this pretentious b*tch. She's simply not worth your time. You could in these manners:
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Try salvage what you can from the conversation; remain confident and start of topics such as 'Hey i'm 'Chinko' What's you name? (Insert name) you look like a rocker, not like one of those Justin Bieber fans, am I right?" - If she continues to role play a brick wall just use the first option above, in many of "Simple Pickup's" videos they shout funny things like 'Forever
alone!' at them if they reject them. It's best to go down in style and make her look like a boring old fool.
If you feel she's just being lame and she has no other excuse you could just tell straight, "man, I thought you were interesting...what happened?" - It'll make her think twice about her responses in the future and might just save another player such as yourself from her wicked ways. Then just make up the excuse that your meeting your friends later and walk away. - Like a boss of course; cool guys don't look at explosions.
================================================== So to summarise:
The "Bitch Butterfly's" is a completely irrational fear and CAN be overcome.
Your opening lines should be confident, interesting and can be a little bit cheeky but NEVER do a cheesy line.
To keep the conversation flowing ask 'OPEN QUESTIONS' and be random.
You can flirt in a number of ways by being playful such as complimenting them, holding their hands and maintaining strong eye contact.
Lame/boring girls = Fuck e'm. - metaphorically.
DHV Spike Workshop :: Natural Game Made Simple By: Jude lot of guys have been asking about what I call "DHV spiking". Here is my explanation of the very simple mechanism, the background (i.e. theory) behind it, and an exercise for you to bring this powerful tool into your own arsenal. Note: DHV = demonstration of high value. I do not usually use the pickup artist lingo these days, but I will be using "DHV" in this post because it'ssimple. I figured I would do my part to help out and, rather than posting the same general idea 50 times, start a thread whereby I can explain my approach, which relies primarily on DHV spikes and qualification. In this thread, I will help you lot craft your own effective spikes to throw into the first few minutes of conversation. The Theory of DHV spikes is that, whereas a DHV story requires an inward transition, beginning, middle, end and outward transition, a DHV spike can be dropped at any point in conversation, leaving the door open for follow-up threads in the interaction. I will use myself as an example, because I rock. Here are some things in my life that give me high social value:
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1. I sing, play and write music for a rock band. We have a rather famous song called "To Write Love On Her Arms". Two of my best friends are in the band with me, and it is my primary passion in life. 2. I speak five different languages proficiently, four of them fluently. 3. I have lived in several countries and have a very wide perspective of different cultures, especially relative to the area in which I live now. 4. Eventually, when I settle down, I want to teach people, because that is my chief passion in life: helping people accomplish something they love. Helping people brings me fulfillment. 5. One of my primary hobbies is psychology and understanding people. Game is one active manifestation of this interest. 6. I understand women very well now, thanks to the community, and I am not shy about helping my friends increase their success with women. In addition, I am very open to everyone in my personal life about what I do, both from the learning and from the instructing standpoint. Yes, my girlfriend knows I post here. 7. Since May I have taken several incredible roadtrips with my bee-effeff Luchador. We have visited some good friends in Nashville, Saint Louis, Atlanta, Denver and soon Los Angeles. I recommend that each of you make a short list of some things that show your value. It might feel like bragging at first, but if you use your spikes properly, it will not come across as such. Important is the understanding that you cannot DHV effectively if you do not have a perception of high value in yourself. These are basically summaries of areas of high value in your life. You can present them as stories if you wish, or they can be simple points about how you are seen as unique and of high value. The problem with DHV stories tends to be making them apply and relate. One of the first things people will ask on a college campus for example is "what do you study?", which I could perhaps use to lead into DHV#2, as I studied languages at uni...but what if I launch into an elaborate story about how I am bilingual between German and English and all that, and it does not interest her in the least? Here I have to make a choice between acknowledging her disinterest and cutting the story short (DLV) and continuing to finish the story, even if it bores her (DLV). DHV spikes have the advantage that guerilla warriors have over heavily armoured troops. Guerillas are quick, mobile, easily adaptive and most of all, come in under the radar. In the same way, whereas a well-told DHV story has the potential to really wow the target if it catches, it can in the same way leave you stranded if it fails (think USA in the Vietnam War). DHV spikes avoid this issue in that they are quick and easy to throw, they can be utilised more than once, even in same conversation, without losing their effectiveness, and they do not require an exit strategy and conversational transition the way a DHV story does. Crafting a DHV Spike is quick and easy. You need simply to pick something out as a cue that you can logically connect to your DHV area. So if I were to meet a girl who studies Environmental Sciences, the above 5 points might be turned into DHV spikes in this way:
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1. Environmental Studies, eh? That's awesome. The drummer in my rock band studies Environmental Studies, and he loves it. He's totally got me on board with the sustainability movement on campus as well... 2. Ah, that's sweet. I tutored an Enviro major in French last semester, and she is a really hardcore greenie. He helped get me involved with lots of eco-friendly activities and all... 3. Enviro, that's great. You know, you would love the mentality back in Austria. I think we could use some of that to help our community... 4. Environmental Science is way cool. It's almost a shame that I love teaching so much, because I would love to work on something related to that... 5. Ah, that's awesome. Maybe I should use my hypnotic powers to promote the mindset of preservation and sustainability ... 6. Brilliant...one of the guys that I used to help out with girls is an Enviro major, and he got me thinking about all that... 7. That's cool; a good friend from uni studied that. It was cool, my mate Luch and I actually made a 24-hour road trip to visit him in Denver last August. Good times... Everyone hates smalltalk, and any of these methods will provide the potential of getting out of the fluff and into something exciting, new and interesting. The idea is that you are injecting this value spike into the same conversational thread. Because you are not transitioning per se, you avoid the risk of appearing to take over the conversation and bragging about how awesome you are. I will usually end with a follow-up question, inviting her to tell me more about her side of things. If my spike hooks, she will follow-up on it. Note: although I did pick that cue at random, some of these are spikes that I use nearly every day. Namely Spikes #1, 2, 4 and 6. Also note: there are so many different directions you could take these spikes. I could just as easily have said "yeah, my guitarist and I wrote a song promoting the environmental movement last week". And I believe the quote "it's not lying, it's flirting" applies here, and common sense is usually your friend. Girl: I love travelling. I was studying abroad in Madrid last semester, and I went to about 10 different countries on my holidays. Lying: that's awesome. Madrid was one of my favourite destinations during my holiday travels when I was younger. (if she asks any sort of question about Madrid, then I'm fucked; this is much more likely here than than the latter example) Flirting: that's awesome. I wish I had made it to Spain when I was still living in Austria. I have friends that have studied there, and I hear Madrid absolutely gorgeous... (this may not be true, but do you really think that's going to come up again? probably not) So what you have to do now is to first write up a list of sources of social value in your life. Don't be shy. Be creative. If you don't think you have any, write some hobbies or interests you might have, or even things about which you would like to know more. Then try to formulate some spikes out of them.
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IOI’s – Indicators of Interest + Body Language By: Inernity Active IOIs
She re-initiates conversations when you stop talking She giggles She touches you She tries to get rapport and build Comfort with you She looks back and glances at you repeatedly ever minute or so She tosses her hair (to see if you will look) If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second She smiles at you She stands nearby (proximity) She interrupts your conversation from nearby or laughs at something you said While walking by, she turns her body toward you or brushes against you She says something to her friend and they both giggle She asks you for a light or the time or in any way initiates a conversation While you're talking to her group, she is particularly talkative (to get your attention) She asks you for your name She asks you your age (make her guess) She compliments you She is playful and tries to challenge you She's disagreeing but laughing She's punching your arm but laughing She uses nicknames for you She plays with her hair while talking to you When she is sitting next to you her leg touches yours She repeatedly touches you in any way She asks if you have a girlfriend She mentions your girlfriend without knowing if you actually have one When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back She holds eye contact for longer periods of time when she speaks with you She avoids mentioning her boyfriend If it comes up that you like somthing, she mentions that she likes it, too, or needs someone to show her how to do it When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reaction She looks at you from the side, to hide the fact that she's looking She introduces you to friends She buys you a drink She calls you a player or a heart-breaker On her way out, she re-approaches you to tell you that she is leaving (Get her #) On your way out, she asks you where you are going (Invite her) She returns your calls She invents reasons to be near you, interact with you, or have isolation with you
Passive IOIs
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Her friends go (to the bathroom or bar or dancing) but she stays
She moves to see you and hangs with you for extended periods If you move, she follows you or waits for you She doesn't flinch or pull back if you happen to get too close She doesn't resist when you escalate physically (or she gives token resistance to avoid feeling like a slut)
The most important IOIs to look for are:
She She She She
re-initiates conversation when you stop talking giggles touches you tries to get rapport and build "comfort with you"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here is a handy list of body language signs. Given the proper context, these nonverbal cues can help you with interpreting body language. Examples of Body Language:
Body hunched - low confidence Clenched fists - aggression Crossed arms - shut off, uncomfortable Dragging feet - lethargy Dropped shoulders - lethargy or weariness Fidgeting with objects, hands - nervous Hands behind head - arrogance, superiority Hands on hips - in defiance Hands on table - in agreement Head down - timidity Head rested on hand - bored, disinterested Leaning away - discomfort with the situation Leaning in closer - interest, comfortable Looking at watch - boredom Looking away to the left - lying Messaging temples - anxiety Nodding - interest, agreement or understanding No eye contact - lack of confidence, lying Shaking of legs - a sign of stress "Shifty" eyes - nervousness Stroking of chin - thinking, in thought Tapping foot - impatient or nervous Wiping hands on clothes - nervousness How to Tell if Someone is Lying:
One of the most sought after secrets of understanding body language is the ability to tell if someone is lying to you. Does body language tell if someone is lying? While it is a nearly impossible to know for sure if someone is telling the truth, there are a few signs of lying you can keep an eye out for.
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The first symptom of lying is lack of eye contact. If someone is noticeably nervous and shifting their eyes around, or better, looking to the side as the speak to you, this is a common symptom of lying. Watch the subject's hands, if they touch their hand/mouth/throat while speaking, this is another common behavior. Study the person's emotions and their statements. If their body gestures do not match, or are oddly timed ("I really like my gift!" and then smiling afterwards), there is a decent chance that they may not be telling the truth. Further signs of lying are if the person turns away, shifts their body somehow in another direction, or places objects in between the two of you. Liars, especially liars who are not well practiced, will show signs of nervousness. Use your own judgment in regards to the circumstances and context, and remember, you can never be 100% sure. Improve Your Body Language: Improving your body language will help you come across as more confident. It will also help make you a more persuasive salesman, which is a trait that can aid you in a variety of circumstances. It is important to understand that you shouldn't force your body language, but rather be aware of it to help control your emotions and tactics. Forced body language can come across as awkward and strange. Most of us can usually spot unnatural movements. There are different body language expectations for different circumstances. On a job interview, you want to appear calm, cool and collected. You want to come across as confident and in control. You do not want to come across as creepy. Prolonged eye contact, close talking -- these may be appropriate on an intimate date, but not in a job interview! Here are some tips we've come across to help improve your body language: Smile and laugh - Laughter is contagious, it will also help put you in a positive mood. Your body language will naturally improve because of it. Slow down, breathe regularly - Nothing will stress you out more than moving at full speeds. Don't walk fast, don't talk fast and remember to breathe. Not only will this help calm you down, it'll calm down the people around you who pick up on stressful vibes. Use your body with purpose - No fidgeting and keep your hands out of your pockets. Don't be afraid to take up a little space. Show you are comfortable in the situation, not put-up-your-feet comfortable, but that you are in control and unafraid. Use your hands to expand on points or call attention to important statements. Hold objects by your side - If you have a drink in hand, keep it to your side, not in front of your chest. Holding your drink in front of your chest can express the same feelings as if you were standing with your arms crossed. Relax. Show your interest - Nod occasionally to let the person you are interacting with know that you are listening and are in agreement. Leaning in is another way to show your interest, just be careful not to lean in to soon or to often, or you may creep them out. Eye contact is powerful - Make eye contact with the people you are talking to, just don't stare. Breaking eye contact downward is generally more positive than breaking eye contact to the sides. If you have trouble looking people in the eye, try looking at their nose instead. They won't be able to tell. Mirror - This is a tough one because it can be hard to pull off. When two people have
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strong Rapport, their actions and body language will naturally start to mirror each other. If you can, you can stimulate this by consciously doing it. Just be careful, as if you get it wrong, it will be really awkward for everyone. Also - here are ten more quick tips: Tip 1. - Eyes: Dilated pupils - the person is interested in the topic. People say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. They can tell so much information about the person if you know what you are looking for. As in most situations, the same signal can be interpreted in a different way. It depends entirely on the circumstances at hand. The example above could also mean that the person is on drugs, or it could mean that they are focused. Tip 2. - Hands: Open palm.- the person is relaxed and comfortable. The hands have many expressions and are a good place to start when learning how to read body language. Generally when some ones hands are open it means that their defenses are relaxed. Tip 3 - Mimicking: When you are talking to someone, if they are mimicking your body position and action it means that they are comfortable in the situation and most likely interested by you and what you are saying. Tip 4 - Eyes: If someone's eyes are gazing to the side it is a trait that they are feeling guilty. Likewise if they are gazing down this express's shame. Remember the eyes have so many meanings and it's easy to make the wrong evaluation. Practice makes perfect. Tip 5 - Arms: The main two expressions with arms is that they are either closed (folded) or open. When folded the person is possibly angry or disapproving. When their arms are open the person is in an honest position and is accepting of the situation. Tip 6 - Rubbing of the Chin: If someone is rubbing their chin it generally means that they are thinking. Tip 7 - Feet: When you are in conversation with someone you can tell if they are comfortable and interested by what you are saying by their feet position. When standing opposite one another the other persons feet are facing in your direction. This means that they are comfortable and their head and eyes will also be focused on you. When standing opposite someone their feet are pointing away and their head and eyes are not focused on you. They will most likely be nodding and agreeing with a fake smile. This means that the person n question is not interested and might even feel uncomfortable in the situation. Tip 8 - Legs: When stood up Legs are a good indicator of how confident someone is. If someone is standing with their legs shoulder width apart they are relaxed. If they are standing with a stance wider than that they are a confident and are in a grounded position to show they are in control.
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When stood up with legs crossed the person is probably shy. When sitting down if the legs are crossed it shows the person is in protective mode. This is very much used alongside crossed arm action. If the legs are open when the person is seated then they are in a relaxed position. The same as when standing. Tip 9 - Fingers: Fingers can create many gestures and are great for reading body language. A pointing finger can either be someone pointing to a item or place, it can also indicate anger. If someone is curling their fingers tightly they are usually pleading for some thing. Drumming or tapping with the fingers indicates frustration. The faster the beating, the greater the frustration and tension inside the person. Tip 10 - Eyebrows: The eyebrows have many uses. Listed below are some examples. When the eye brows are raised, normally the person is shocked or surprised. The greater the surprise the more raised they will be. When someone flicks their eye brow up and down quickly they are greeting someone else or are showing they have acknowledged them. I hope you have enjoyed learning how to read body language tips. Remember reading body language is not a skill that can be learned over night. The more you practice the easier it will become and the more subtle you will be able to do it. Enjoy!
Comfort Phase & Jealousy By: Infernity Here is a small guide of what a comfort phase is... This can lead to a potential GF or Wife or w/e. You enter the comfort phase once she is attracted to you and you've convinced her that you are interested in her for reasons she thinks are valid. In other words: • You enter comfort as soon as you both accept that you are attracted to each other. • You leave comfort (and go into seduction) as soon as you escalate to sexual touching. Comfort is the missing ingredient that allows you to convert mutual attraction into sex. Comfort changes her from "I want him but I don't know him well enough" into "I want him." Sounds easy, doesn't it? By itself, it is. Most men can make a woman feel comfortable with them if they're not trying to have sex. (Sex comes in the seduction phase, so don't worry about sex for anything in the comfort phase.) However, you have three things working against you: 1. You never know how much comfort is enough. Not enough comfort before you shift into seduction, and you're a horny loser. Too much comfort before you make a move, and you're a p*ssy. This used to be a big trap for guys, but there is a way to work through this.
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2. You can't focus only on comfort. If you spend all of your effort making her feel comfortable and safe around you without maintaining the tension and intrigue that you created in the attraction phase, then she'll get bored and you'll lose her. On the other hand, rocking the tension too high in comfort will feel awkward and out of place, and will also destroy any comfort you've built up. 3. You have to escalate touching. This is important preparation for seduction. In the seduction phase, you will obviously need to be touching her in an increasingly sexual way. You may have figured that this is seduction, and that you don't have to worry about physical escalation while in comfort, right? Wrong. It's hard enough in seduction to shift from non-sexual touching to sexual touching. It's infinitely harder in seduction to shift from no touching at all to sexual touching. You're setting yourself up for failure in seduction if you don't do the groundwork in comfort. So, how do we build comfort and defeat these obstacles? • You get points for just being there: You build comfort with a woman by being in situations with her where you could theoretically try to escalate sexually with her, but don't. If she can sit on your couch without you being all over her, that will build comfort. If you can grind with her on the dance floor without grabbing her ass, that builds comfort. • Speed things up with multiple venues: Boy takes "Girl A" to the park. They have a picnic and hang out for 6 hours. Boy takes "Girl B" window shopping, then they grab a bite, then they go to bookstore, then they have a drink, all over a 6 hour period. Which girl is more likely to be "ready?" Girl B. She has seen herself in more situations with the guy, and therefore feels she knows him better. • Make YOURSELF her source of comfort: Imagine that a girl invites you to a party. It turns out that she knows "everyone" and that you know "no one." She leaves for a few minutes and you awkwardly meet her friends while attempting to make a good impression, but it's still stressful not knowing anyone. Then she comes back, and you're relieved. Then she goes and you're uncomfortable, etc. If you've been following along, you can see how useful this is in reverse. Bring her to places where you're the center of attention. Make her work to win your attention. By working to win your attention, by being happier when you're around than when you're not, by trying to make a good impression on your friends, she will be following behavior patterns that she is accustomed to following when she's interested in someone. Making her follow them with you solidifies her attraction, while building comfort. • Be genuinely interested in her. Remember, she won you over in qualification. You don't need to be so dismissive anymore. Now that you're in comfort, it's expected, normal, and attractive for you to ask her personal questions about herself. On the other hand... • Don't stop being a challenge. Keep the romantic/Sexual Tension going during the comfort phase. At appropriate times, you should still tease her, disagree with her, etc. Once there is no tension, the interaction becomes boring for a girl. The comfort game requires a lot of subtlety and mental dexterity. The high-energy flair in attraction isn't really useful here. To some extent, comfort is where you "be yourself" – or at least, be who you want to be – and let her learn about you, while you do the same with her. If this isn't easy, don't worry. Like the other phases, it needs practice and intuition.
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ADVANCED SECTION Jealousy Plotlines ! Use this one with caution. It's a necessary element in the toolbox of any man, so you will need to know how to do this effectively with 9s and 10s. However, this is a really easy place to make mistakes, so practice the basic elements of comfort first. A Jealousy Plotline is used to make your target woman feel jealous of another woman, or women, who are interested in you and to whom you are neutral or interested. You can introduce jealousy plotlines directly or indirectly. Here's a brief example of a direct jealousy plotline: I take Sarah out shopping, and happen to run into Amanda on the street. Amanda is quite attractive, gives me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, and when leaving tells me to call her so we'll go out for a drink - it's a direct plotline because it's happening where the target (Sarah) can perceive it. An indirect plotline would be when out shopping with Sarah, I mention that I have to be done at 6, since a friend of mine is cooking me dinner. Sarah knows that guys don't make plans to cook each other dinner, so she knows it's a date - instant jealousy plotline. Done properly, jealousy can do a lot of good: • First, it acts as a trigger for a woman's "pursuit" switch. A woman can be enjoying an interaction, not really thinking about it, until a feeling of jealousy hits. At that point, she can't deny to herself that she wants you. She'll try harder at that point, and in trying to seduce you, she will want you even more. • Second, jealousy is a strong feeling. Women like strong feelings and going through a range of emotions. Feeling jealousy and then feeling relaxed and then feeling confused and then feeling happy has much more of an effect on a woman than just feeling happy. • Third, jealousy will make your job in seduction much easier. She knows you have options, so withholding sex becomes counterproductive for her. She knows you can just get it somewhere else. Also, she knows that other women are staking their claim, so she'd better move on you before it's too late. • Fourth, jealousy can create comfort for a woman who dates a lot. Many attractive women are always casually dating a small number of guys when they are between relationships. A woman might find it more comfortable to date someone in the same situation as opposed to a man who is focused solely on her and who doesn't have other options. This being said, nothing can totally kill a good interaction with a woman as quickly (and irreparably) as a poorly executed jealousy plotline. Here are some hints: • Less is more so don't overdo it. Let her imagination do the work for you. "I have to stop off and pick up some wine; a friend is coming over for dinner," is infinitely better than "my hot 21-year old neighbor is so in love with me, she keeps calling wanting to come over; it's really nice." The latter betrays insecurity. • Make it "accidental." Doing anything that makes it look like you're trying to make her jealous will backfire. Don't talk about another girl unless there's a reason for it. • Respect social norms. If you're on a date with a girl and you run into another girl,
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it's okay (good, actually). Introduce her to your date, and talk for 5 minutes. It's not cool to go off for 20 minutes with her and leave your date alone. This would display social awkwardness. Similarly, brushing off the "other girl" would make your date feel like you have something to hide. Greet the "other girl" like you would a good friend that you hadn't seen in a while. Take it from there. • Make sure the jealousy is warranted. If I'm on a date with Tammy the supermodel, bumping into my friend's dorky kid sister Gertrude and being all into her won't create much jealousy. You can help this - intro the "other girl" by telling your date cool things about her, the same way you would if you were talking to two women and your male wingman showed up. • Don't ever – EVER – be jealous yourself. She had a sex life before she met you. If you're attracted to her, other guys are too. Get over it. She will mention other guys, sometimes in passing, sometimes to test you. Don't ask leading questions (as an example: "Did he stay over?") or try to learn more (example two: "So, this guy you're dating..." in an effort to see if she contradicts you over the word 'dating').
Kino – How To Touch A Girl By: Thijs KINO. I've noticed a lot of people were making threads and asking: "How do I make things more sexual??? plz help" "How do I touch a girl???" "How far is too far when I touch a girl?" Fasten your seat belts, players. Here is the Kino guide!
WHAT exactly is kino? Kino is the art of touching a girl.
WHY do we use kino? We use kino to put a girl in: -The Comfort Zone -The Attraction Zone
HOW do we use kino? I am going to explain two styles of kino for you guys now. The first is the slow, gradual way of using kino. That one has a very low risk but can take a while to spice things up. The second will be the fast way to use kino. Very high risk, but IMMEDIATE attraction.
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I will also provide you with some tips. First. What kino can be used to put a girl in the comfort zone? Any touches you would use with your friends,
including but not limited to:
-High fives -Fistbumps -Shoulder and elbow touches (really harmless) These will be quick. When you would touch a stranger and immediately leave your hand on their shoulder while you talk... It just doesn't feel right. Not for them, and neither for you. The attraction zone Kino that will make a girl more attracted to you is touching places on the body that are sensitive or usually protected. Those are usually places where arteries are present. That is the reason girls (and humans in general) protect them. It is why we usually will not bare our neck to a stranger. It is also why we fold our arms (protect arteries in your arms, and you protect some vital organs with your arms) Example of such places: -inner arms -waist -neck -lower back -foot soles (but please don't start touching those in the middle of the dancefloor.) How do I escalate kino? Here I'm going to tell you about the two different ways.
Type 1 This is the slow one, but has the highest success rate. I will tell you most about nightgame, cause that's what I'm best at. When you go up to a girl and you want to talk to her. You will IMMEDIATELY touch her when you talk to her. Example of the moment you have to do this: "Hey" *light touch on elbow or shoulder* "I thought you were adorable, and I just had to come say hi." Don't leave your hand there too long. 2 seconds when you use the opener should be enough. It gets awkward if it's longer. She will be used to you touching her right off the bat. Everytime you say something funny, you will touch her. Everytime she says something funny, you will touch her.
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Escalation: As I already said, you start with light elbow and shoulder touches, because those are pretty insensitive parts of the body. As you notice she is comfortable with that (almost ALWAYS), you can move the touches to her upper arm. You can put your hand around her shoulder when you're showing her something. She WILL notice this, and she WILL move away if she's not comfortable. Remember: IF SHE DOESN'T MOVE AWAY, YOU CAN CONTINUE ESCALATING. Next step would be touching her waist while you say something. Again, she WILL notice this, and if she's fine with it, she won't do anything. Next step is lower back. If you can hold her lower back, you're already doing really well. This is the typical "boyfriend-spot", the spot boyfriends touch their girlfriends when they're out in public together. You can now easily pull her in closer. So you do it. You pull her hips into yours. Next steps are neck, face and hair. If you can touch those (find a good excuse though), you can be sure you're into the Attraction Zone. She IS attracted to you and lets you touch her face. This means you can go for the kiss soon. If you want to go for the kiss, give her some triangular gazing, maybe touch her face with the back of your hand (optional ) You should FEEL when the time is right. Using this type of kino, you can't really rush anything. Unless she gives you a good opportunity. Other things you can do are: -Take her hand(s). Look at her reaction. Hands are the easiest body part to pull back when she doesn't want you to do it. It's also a great way to tell if she's really into you. A great tip: Squeeze her hands softly and she squeezes back, she's into it. -Take her arms and put them around your neck. -Notice something she's wearing (best things: bracelets and necklaces) and touch it while you say something about it, simultaneously touching the skin under it. -Boob kino. Let's say you're holding a cup/glass of beer. You can, while you're talking and gesturing, brush her boob with the back of your hand. She will think you don't know what you're doing. It WILL turn them on though. -Example: you're in a couch, there are people in front of you talking to you and the girl next to you in the couch. You can stroke her back while you keep talking normally. Nobody sees it, and it creates a little "secret-feeling". -You're in a couch again. When you're sitting close enough to have your legs touching. Move your leg to the beat, brushing against her. If she likes you, she'll keep her leg there. Attraction building. -Pussy kino example: you want to take her to someplace else, you start walking and hold your hand out for hers when you start walking. Instead of grabbing her hand, you "miss" and brush your hand over her pants. If executed like a baws, it should seem like an accident.
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!! Attention !!
-You can skip any step. The problem is that you increase the risk of her suddenly saying "no" or moving away. -If she RETURNS your kino. That means she starts touching you back, or wrap her arms around you. If this happens, you can escalate WAY faster.
Type 2 This is the fast way. You do have a high risk of immediate rejection when you use this. This is also the one Jason used in the last vid. You see a girl. You go up to her and immediately pull her into you, hands on her lower back immediately. You open while or just after you're doing this. She WILL be overwhelmed, and might not know what to do at first. Use that to your advantage and keep holding her close while you start talking. Because you've done that first bold move (they call it The Claw) you can now escalate really quickly, because she KNOWS that's about to happen. Using this technique, you can get to those 30 second kiss closes. Confidence is the absolute key in this technique. EDIT: You should feel comfortable about all the kino you're doing. If you think it's weird, or act like it's weird, SHE will think it's weird. EDIT2: Kino alone won't get you the kiss/quick fuck. It's possible, but you shouldn't focus on kino only. Kino is used to back up your conversation. If your conversation sucks, kino could be crap. EDIT3: What to touch/do when kissing. You can grab a fistful of hair at the back of her neck, and then close your hand. It will generate some pressure on the skin of her head. DON'T PULL THOUGH, pulling hurts like shit. Doing this will make her really really horny. You can also just hold her face with one or both hands, or grab her chin to pull her into a kiss.
Controlling The Bitch Butterfly’s By: 2Rude I see a lot of discussions about people getting the infamous Bitch Butterflies. It's a tough issue that I don't see getting harped on enough around here. Sure, there are some awesome guides explaining how to bring out your natural game, using kino, conversation techniques, etc. But what good are they if you constantly get hit with the BB's? So I hope with this guide, I can show some of you beginners some tricks and practices that should help control the bitch within you and put it in check. And I'll start off with the obvious step.
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1. FIND MOTIVATION! We all watch and get inspired by Simple Pickup. But sometimes that just isn't enough when it comes to action. So before going out listen to your favorite track (bump that shit), watch a video with some hot chicks, watch videos with a powerful message that will overall pump you up. Also if you're mad about something or you're Mr. Rogers happy, use that emotion. Anything will work, just look for the one thing that will make you throw your game face on and put you out on the field.
2. LESS FAPPAGE! Our number one problem as guys is that we can't really help or control our sexual drive. Some can more than others, but we can't none the less. That's just how we're built. We fap because we're either bored, stressed, angry, or just straight up horny. But sexual drive isn't necessarily a bad thing either. Why not use this to our advantage? One thing I've experimented with and I try to practice WAY more often now is to just NOT fap. Masturbation not only decreases your sexual drive, but you'll be less motivated and it increases bitch butterflies. I find that my game is twice as better when I don't fap. So take a week off, clear your mind. Build that sexual drive and you'll notice a drastic difference. You'll be more confident, seductive, and you'll have a better time. If you find yourself being tempted to fap, do something else right away to take your mind off it. Play games, go for a walk, watch TV, anything. Watch less pron. You can even sign up for a "No Fap [Insert Month]" thread here. Partake with the rest of us and join the journey. Anything helps. No fappage with motivation is a powerful combination. It should knock those Bitch Butterflies right out of you. Your mind will be more at ease and you should feel a better vibe; and girls WILL pick up on that. It's not easy, but it's an extremely helpful practice and the results are definitely worth it.
3. STUDY FIELD REPORTS AND GUIDES! Many of you aren't approaching yet which is understandable. And you've probably watched every Simple Pickup video, so what else is there? Well study other people's Field Reports in the other forum section. Listen to people stories. Whether they have found success or failed miserably. Doesn't matter. Either way, it'll prove to you how easy it really is and you'll learn from their successes and mistakes. It's a Win/Win. Also read some tutorials. Members here have made some very informative/in depth guides that are definitely worth the read. Just don't clog your mind too much. Also, once you approach and have a field report of your own (good or bad), you'll have the support of everybody here who'll love your story. Share laughs, internet bro fists, exchange advice, etc. You never get judged and you'll be commended no matter the result.
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4. DON'T BE LEFT WITH REGRET! I can't emphasis this part enough. And I've said this many times before on here and to my own friends. NEVER be left with regret. I say this because if you see a hot chick, she's giving you the looks and you let that opportunity slide by, it'll come back to haunt you later. I promise you. Just ask yourself. Would you rather know the result good or bad, or be left with the what-ifs? You can act a fool and make yourself either look good or stupid; know the result and let it pass or do nothing leaving you wondering what could've happened. The answer should be simple. Also knowing that you just did something that MOST people wouldn't dare to do is a very satisfying feeling. Trust me. I have regrets from years ago that still haunt me til this day. So remember guys. Wounds are temporary. Regrets are forever. Just DON'T let it happen.
5. JUST GO FOR IT AND REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN! The "GO" mentality is the greatest advice. You just approach without thinking. It's a quick attack to the Bitch Butterflies before it can take over. And it's okay to have a game plan the night or day before. Contemplate what you're going to open with, what you can say, and how you're going to close prior to an approach. Just don't over think when you're about to approach or DURING your approach (unless you're that good). And NEVER try to remember too many lines. Your mind will get clouded and you'll end up trying to script a conversation. Just go in an have fun with it. Sometimes saying "fuck it" is the best thing you can do. Just allow yourself to get better, learn from your rejections and rejoice your successes. So that's all the advice I have for now. If you follow these steps, the BB's are less likely to get in your way. These steps have helped me a lot as of late. You can never really get rid of your butterflies, but you can stop it for the moment. Take control, don't let it control you. So I hope I was able to reach out to some of you and shed some light on the issue. The Bitch Butterflies CAN be suppressed at will. Happy hunting!
First/Second Date Ideas: Scavenger Hunt By: Jude So a lot of guys I see posting on forums ask about good ideas for a follow-up date, so I thought I would demonstrate something fun I like to do on first or second dates to create a playful, exciting and adventurous mood for the evening. On my follow-up date with HBperú, I knew the challenge would be getting her out of her shell. She was a cool girl, but she needed some coaxing to allow herself to embrace the idea of doing exciting and even crazy things.
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I revisited an old date model I had employed a few times back in Austria, and I got some extra input from my best friend Luchador, who has also done this sort of thing on dates. My date essentially consists of a scavenger hunt adventure which involves communicating with others in a rather public place. I compiled a list of "moves" or things to do, gradually increasing in difficulty and/or silliness. This was all done in a large indoor shopping centre. Here are some of the things I included:
Geography: have your partner name a random country. Find someone who can name its capitol city. Freeze: when your partner says "stop", freeze and stand completely motionless in the middle of the walkway for 60 seconds. He or she will walk past you and tap you on the shoulder to "un-freeze" you. Just Dance: dance down the walkway for the length of five stores. Borracho: talk to a stranger for two minutes. Pretend to be drunk. Foreigner: speak for three minutes with a stranger using an accent other than your own or the local. When asked, maintain that you were born and raised in the particular city you currently are in. Rockstar: find someone with grey hair. Approach and teach him or her a secret rockstar handshake, which you will improvise on the spot Surrender: walk from the back wall of a shoppe to the front entrance with your hands raised above your head. Get Sleazy: walk into a changing room together. Emerge with clothing and hair disheveled and exit the store immediately, looking as suspicious as possible. I'm Talking to YOU: find out where a stranger went to uni without saying the word "you". Dirty Free-for-all: race to get five quick kisses (pecks on the cheek count). Winner gets one from the loser.
The only rules are that you must not tell anyone else that you're doing a scavenger hunt. At any rate, this date really helped her embrace the excitement and fun of the date. After that we went out for a pint or two and I had time for some more structured game. We were going at it in the back of my motor within two hours. Just some thoughts for any of you who might be looking for ideas for a unique and exciting first date to get the mood up and set a high level of state for both you and the girl.
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How To Be A good Wingman By: Jude
The Wingman's Guide à la Everlong I will use my first wingman ever, Kyle der Geile, as an example. He is a yank who frequented my Irish pub on his semester abroad in Salzburg, and we became close over bartalks about girls and life. I gradually introduced him to game theory and all, and he really threw himself into it.
So here is how it would go down. We pick out a set. Let's say for example he runs the first set, i.e. he has recognized a target. I open. We use as our default indirect opener "who is hotter, pilots or rockstars?", which utilises KdG's ability to fly airplanes and my rock music as an effective DHV Spike, as I call it, immediately upon opening. KdG enter thirty seconds after I open. I have hooked by this time, so he simply approaches me and says "what's up mate?" or something fluffy, and I introduce him to the group, reverting to the opener to introduce him: "this my mate Kyle, he's the pilot". I then move on to occupying any obstacles, allowing KdG to use his proximity to the target to gain conversational isolation. He is then on his way to a close, and I continue to run my own conversation as I wish.
A few things are happening under the radar in this scenario that make our system so effective, and a lot of it pertains to the principles of winging. First, I acknowledge outright that KdG will be running the set. That is, until he has his target hooked to him and gained at least conversational isolation, my solitary goal is to occupy the obstacles. A seemingly obvious yet frequently overlooked principle of winging is to acknowledge that your mate is the man here. Mind your body language to make sure that You are the set-up man, and you should work to help him close. His success is your success. Second, I make sure to DHV spike for him before he arrives, so when he does enter, he enters as a high-value, alpha individual. Do not take the piss out of him; you are supposed to make yourself beta to him (assuming he is running the group). This enhances the group's perception of his high social proof, which sets him up that much more for success. The opener itself is no different than any other indirect opener, but it tends to play out differently. We do throw the traditional time constraint of "I've got to get back to my friends" to eliminate the who-is-this-new-guy tension, but once your mate arrives and you introduce him, the time constraint is void, since the person you "have to get back to" is now standing next to you. Finally, physical frame control via "locked in" positioning, various compliance tests etc can be very effective for you in helping your wing isolate his target. Think of it as such: your wing isolates his target in conversation, while you simultaneously isolate the friend(s) of the group.
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One thing that is very useful when working with a wingman is conversational isolation. You do not want to have your wing, your two girls and you standing in a circle listening to your wing talk. There is no real opportunity to relate to someone on a deeper level or to escalate conversationally, let alone physically. For this reason, we need to get various conversations going at once. Conversational isolation is when you are having a one-on-one conversation with one girl, and he is having a one-on-one conversation with the other girl (or the guy(s)/obstacle(s)) in the group. Here is how it works: This is an example of how my wingman Luchador and I create conversational isolation. We usually operate under the rule that he who approaches gets his choice of the girl, and the wing occupies the other (or the rest). Girl #1 is mine and Girl #2 is his. [It may help to understand how this works if you actually visualise this in your mind.] Everlong: are you two students here, or do you work etc? (question actually directed first at Girl #2, who is standing in front of Luchador) Girl #2: yes, I studied marketing and I just started working for Blabla Company. Everlong: very cool, and you? Girl #1: I am studying environmental science, but I will finish uni this Summer. Everlong: ah, brilliant; the drummer in my band studied environmental science. He was actually the one who got me to start recycling regularly, when he and I shared a flat. We definitely had some crazy times back then, that's for sure. Do you know what you will do after uni? Be responsible, or what? Girl #1: yeah, I will apply for jobs here in this city, but I also want to apply for bla bla ... Luchador: (to Girl #2, starting parallel conversation thread) so you studied marketing? The co-host of my radio show does that, maybe you've heard of him ... bla bla ... So I hope that little dialogue was not too tricky to follow. It's tricky to explain, because Luch will actually start up a conversation with Girl #2while Girl #1 is in the middle of qualifying herself to me. This creates two different conversations right next to one another, which allows you to elicit a truer response from your girl, since her friend is occupied by your wingman. DO NOT BE OVERWHELMED by all this. Start with the basics, let one another know what works and what could be improved, then ease your way into making this work smoothly and effectively. I much prefer going out with a wing with whom I have a great chemistry as opposed to going alone. However, with being a wing comes certain responsibilities. Take turns running sets, so that you each have opportunities to be in the spotlight. And of course, be sure to give each other constructive feedback as to what is working and what could be done better to bring about greater successes for both of you.
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Why Are You Insecure And Why Does Your Game Suck By: WhiteRanger Using "HB" (HotBody) is one of the most insecure things to do with your game. I know a lot of guys picked this up from "The Game", mystery method, and other PUA forums, but let me reiterate... STOP USING THAT "HB" SHIT! In fact, STOP 'RATING' her on a scale! Why? You are placing the girl on a pedestal anytime you are JUDGING her based on looks. This transcends your game SO deeply, and in a negative way, its INSANE! Now, how does a NATURAL think? Like this: 1. I want to stick my cock in her, It's ON! 2. I don't want to stick my cock in her, It's NOT ON! 3. Maybe after some drinks/time It's based on sexual chemistry. THAT'S IT! I've had sexual chemistry with all types of girls, thin, athletic, curvy, different ethnic backgrounds... If I want to fuck them, and they know, and they are DOWN? Then it's ON! Not this "oh shes only a 6... or a 6.5..." She got your dick hard? Go rail her... NOW! And then go bang that hotter chick after, who is more your type... while you smell like freshly fucked pussy. Funny enough, the hotter chick might suck at fucking all together... just saying, happens occasionally. Furthermore, if you want that kinky, open-minded girl who will do almost ANYTHING with you for some amazing sex?
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DON'T JUDGE HER! That is the LAST thing she wants. Girls hate being judged for being horny, and sexually active, and just wanting to be dominated like a little slut. I'm guilty of RATING girls in my reports in the past... but once I got rid of that "HB" mentality... well... Girls became EXTREMELY sexual... they became hornier... they became more confident and open around me... How? By simply removing this archaic 'PUA' reality mind-set. What do I use now? Nicknames like russian twin, hot red pants, swallows, filipina, sexy mall girl... etc, etc. Pick that one thing that turns you on about her, and could potentially give you a hardon, and stick with it. Now, Go out there, Stop Judging Chicks, and start getting laid more!
Seeing Things Through Her Lens :: a Few Simple Daygame Tips [Part I & II] By: Jude Hey gentlemen! I ran into a question over on Stylelife about direct daygame, and thought I might share this with you all here, since this community has a much stronger tendency towards direct daygame as opposed to the structured nightgame advocated elsewhere. This post is not about routines or structure. This is about learning to understand how girls interpret the things we say and what we convey by how we say them. This is about seeing things through her lens. The approach in question: "Hello, I don't do this normally but I just wanted to let you know you are very beautiful". By no means terrible, and you have to respect a guy for having the guts to walk up to a girl and say that. Especially since it took place in a crowded cafeteria. Cojones. It made me look back on my early days in game, recall some of my approaches, and look at some of the very simple things I have learnt to give the direct approach a great deal more punch.
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Mind your frame! The faux-shy "I don't normally do this" gambit can work if you are confident and careful in not framing the approach as a validation-seeking one. This just means, don't kiss her arse. If you prefer the direct sort of opener (and I love this type), then I would strongly advise some simple rewording, which I have found will make all the difference, really. "Hey there, I saw you in the cafeteria and thought you looked cute, so I decided to come say hi and find out what you are all about. I'm Jude, who are you?" Practise saying that. There are several important things at play here: 1. Simply put, the emphasis in the first version is on HER. If you want to go deeper, you will recognise that "I don't normally do this, but YOUare blablabla" is a very weak position to take because it puts you in the role of the one of lower value. Direct openers by nature DO sacrifice a wee bit of this value by acknowledging her physical beauty (the prime source of social value for her), so minding the frame is more important than it is in indirect game. You should not be thinking about all that whilst opening, but I am including this as an explanation of why this particular approach is fundamentally flawed. 2. My version on the other hand, with its small and simple adjustments, focuses on ME. "I saw you in the cafeteria and I thought you looked cute, so I decided to come say hi and find out what you are all about." This frames me as the person of high value, as the decisive man who is not only confident enough to go talk to a girl that he thinks is cute, but who is going to go deeper than just the physical beauty and qualify her on the rest of the package. This leads me to the third thing to consider... 3. "I think you are cute" is not an opener. That is a statement of interest with no follow-up. I think this is the singular most misunderstood point on the Simple Pickup forum, and is why many continue to get blown out. Notice that I include at the end of my opener "I am Jude, who are you?". This is a small but very important line, which again shifts the focus away from what most guys see as "the opener" itself (since the "you're cute" line is really just a small part of the opener) and onto your desire to see value in her on a level deeper than her skin. For the girl, that is hugely important. Again, if you want to get technical here, there is a great deal of implicit qualification, negging and DHV all rolled into one congruent and truthful statement, which makes it a very powerful move, and also a large part of why I love simple direct game, especially during the daytime. 4. Finally, I always tell guys to avoid using the word "beautiful". According to my own personal experiences and observations, as well as many different conversations with many different girlfriends and female friends, it is perceived my girls as as very romantic, very serious, and very "intense", as nearly every girl says. It is generally too aggressive for direct daygame. On the flipside, "cute" can twitch some girls out as "something one might say to a child", but I still use it and rarely encounter issues there. I generally do not use words like "hot" or "sexy" during the daytime (although a nighttime setting is slightly different). Also think about using a word like "pretty" or "adorable" (my personal favourite). This is just a small tip that I've picked up in my earlier days of chatting up girls.
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Remember, the goal of direct daygame is to show a small bit of sexual interest, but to immediately move on to a more personal exchange, whereby you both exchange your value and all that good stuff. These are just a few things to consider regarding direct daygame. Ultimately it is all about learning to see the interaction through her lens as well as through your own, then responding accordingly. It is no different from the communication skills involved in the rest of game, i.e. anything you say, any routine you use etc must resonate with her if it is going to move you further toward success. I was actually talking on the phone with Rockinrolla about this last week, namely how one can effectively use 160 characters to get a girl back into the mood and state she was in when you met her, when you created attraction and escalated etc. It is difficult and sensitive, what with no vocal tonality, no body language, no context. But it is manageable. And it can make or break your game. The standard piece of advice in game today is to use "callback humour" in either a telephone conversation or via SMS. If done properly, this is effective in that, rather than getting the weak and needy "hey it's Jude from last night" message, she will find herself thinking about something that had earlier that evening or the night before spiked her buying temperature and had her seeing me as an exciting, interesting and sexual entity. Real-Life Example: So my pink blazer is TOTALLY drenched, but of course I am still looking HAWTT AND DANGEROU$. *80s pelvic thrust* How did your night end up? So what there is doing the actual "calling back"? 1. Pink blazer: any girl I spoke to that night will remember the pink blazer. 2. Hawtt and dangerou$: reference to a Ke$ha song, which we had joked about / bonded over early on in the interaction, then later in on the dancefloor when the band happened to play that song. It is in the deciding of what to use as callback humour that this notion of "seeing things through her lens" comes into play in a major way. So some general things that provide for good callback topics:
Inside jokes Roleplaying Peacocking (for either of you) Venue changes
One simple trick that I have started sharing to people who need help in choosing hot threads has been to have them imagine the girl telling her mates about the night before. Remember: chances are, you were not the only guy whom she talked to or even who approached her last night. We as people condense things. We remember big events or big things that stick out about other people. It is the same natural mechanism that makes most girls forget the exact opener you used that helps them hang on to the big and memorable things and forget the rest.
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Imagine that the next day one of your target's friends would ask her "so what did you get up to last night? Oh, you went clubbing? How was that?". My target might have said something like "well we had some drinks and danced with our friends, then I started talking to this kid in a pink blazer who was from Europe somewhere. We danced a bit and had a great time". It would not make sense for me to make a reference to the shirt I was wearing (it says "kiss me if you're Irish" on the left breast, and is one of my favourite shirts) because although she did comment on it, it was not something that offered what could be considered a large or memorable contribution to the interaction as a whole as she will remember it. To illustrate this, think of a brief interaction you had, not necessarily in the context of game. Perhaps a stranger that you have met and conversed with at the supermarket, a side conversation with a bartender or waiter from a few days ago, maybe even a phone call from a mate to "catch up". How much of that interaction do you remember, and what was it that "spiked" your state enough to be retained in your memory days later? I teach this little trick to help guys consistently get positive responses from numbers I have gotten, whether during daygame or nightgame. If you are doing things properly, you should have at least one or two solid hooks that she will 1) remember and 2) respond positively to when you SMS her later that night or the following day. So there it is, another simple tip that I hope will help some of you lads improve your success rate by learning to see things through the eyes of the girl as well as through your own.
Texting Advice 101 By: BangBoomDone Hey guys so I've been reading lots of forum posts recently and it's apparent that many people have problems with "text game". Well first let me start off by saying there shouldn't be a text game (or shouldn't be your only game). I've landed myself in the dreaded friend zone plenty of times, but I'm here to say you can trust me with these tips because I know how to avoid it now. I can call myself a very good texter because I can now get girls who say at first "I don't text first" to texting me first all the time. Texting shouldn't be the thing that you get to know a person by. It should be for setting a date and the occasional light conversation. Here are a few rules that we can go by (offer your opinions on these rules and if you have any additions then offer them up.)
NEVER 1. Never make texting a priority especially when it comes to getting to know said individual. 2. Never reply as soon as you get the text. You don't need to do that stupid rule of "Wait double what they took to respond" but certainly don't respond asap because it will show you aren't doing anything interesting. 3. Never compliment over text. The reasoning behind this is because I'm a firm
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believer that when it comes to compliments they need to come in scarcity because it will make the girls work for it and it will mean a lot to them when you say something. 4. Never send multiple texts in a row (as far as trying to get her to respond). Say you're talking at night and she suddenly stops responding...what should you do? Wait for her to respond because the ball is in HER court. And guys if she stops texting you during the day she is either busy or she got bored with you. If she is bored with you it's no big deal but if you annoy her with "hey are you there?! "hey cmon give me some attention" she will start to hate you. 5. Never text for more than an hour a day with said person because you want yourself to remain a mystery to her. It is all about keeping things interesting. 6. Never over interpret what the girl is saying! Does this mean she will never lie to you? No. She will lie to you sometimes that's just how it is unfortunately. By this I mean don't be a lit teacher and try to twist simple text into something more meaningful. GIRLS ARE NOT LOOKING TO TEXT SOMETHING THAT MAKES THEM THINK.
ALWAYS 1. EMOTICONS: Some people might disagree but use emoticons. BITCHES LOVE EMOTICONS. Girls will feel like they're talking to a robot sometimes if you don't. For example look at how a flat out insult can become a tease with emoticons "You're a cunt." or "You're a cunt " This keeps it playful but cunt might be a word that you reserve for a deeper relationship haha. 2. DATE INFO: Of course this is kind of basic but always remember this is your main reason for getting a girls number...to see them later of course! 3. TEASE: Teasing is HUGE. Nobody wants to have a boring conversation of "Hey" "What's up?" "So where are you going to school?" "Where do you work?" These are all questions you can ask in person (despite being a little interview mode). Texting these questions will result in boredom for most likely both of you. 4. MYSTERY: 99.9% of girls love a good mystery man. I've found that if you do more with less (content), your success rate will skyrocket. By this I mean you can get a girl to be more interested in you by sending her a few texts compared to having a full blown 3 hour text conversation (That my friends is a no-go and is not successful AT ALL). 5. KEEP TABS: By this I mean make sure that you retain the beautiful woman that you meet! It is very easy to just lose contact with them. This is why every once in a while I send them a text in the morning or something saying "Good morning sunshine!" or something along the lines to every girl. It makes them feel special but DO NOT do this too much. So now that some guidelines are out there I'll be posting on this thread when I have a short and good conversation with a girl over text. Hope this guide has helped and if you have any suggestions at all offer them up! Keep checking in because I will be posting text conversations often. Good luck and happy hunting!
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Mindset Guide: The Importance of FUN! By: Thijs Hey there playas, it's been a while since I last put out a guide or post, but I believe this one is sorely needed. A lot of people on this forum seem to forget the IMPORTANCE OF FUN. It really is one of the most important factors of pickup. If you cannot have fun doing this, you will not get any better. If you still feel like pickup is a chore, something you HAVE to do, not something you WANT to do because it's fun, then you have the wrong mindset. I'll be telling you what your mindset should be in order to get a ton better. First I'll describe fun in pickup with an analogy: Pickup is like a huge mofucking awesome rollercoaster. Before you try it, it looks scary as fuck, and you feel as if you can never go on the ride. The longer you think about it, the higher and scarier the rollercoaster seems. But then you get this "Fuck this, I'm doing it" mentality, and you stand in line. While you're in line, you start thinking of a few excuses to back out, but you end up getting on the ride. The moment before you start the ride is the scariest. You start thinking about what could go wrong and what you're about to do. Some people will get super calm and think: "This is going to be fun." They clear their heads of the negative thoughts. Then you're on the ride. You stop thinking. It's all wind blowing through your hair and a crazy feeling in your stomach. You can't focus on a lot of thoughts except the feeling. Then, as soon as it started, the ride is over. You're a little dazed and not quite sure what happened, but it was FUN. You want to go again. The 2nd time is still quite scary, but you know what to expect now. It's even more fun than the first time. Every time you go again, it seems less and less scary, though you will still get the crazy feeling in your stomach everytime you get on the ride. It's the EXACT SAME for pickup. You shouldn't get on the ride and think "Now they will strap us tight, then we will start moving, then we will go down, go through this bend, make a loop, ..." You go on the ride and think: "This is going to be fun." If you keep overanalysing everything you won't have fun. Do you really want to step on a ride and NOT have fun? Would people who are on the rollercoaster too notice that you're not having fun? YES. It's the same for pickup. If you're going out and you have fun, you're amusing yourself, you're having an amazing time, people will immediately be more receptive towards you. If you're the boring guy all stiffened up from "having to go talk to a chick", people will
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NOT react well, and you'll be even more afraid to approach. If you're having fun and you're not overanalysing every interaction, you will care less about the outcome of it. Caring too much will fuck you over and make you too needy, which will result in the opposite of what you want to achieve. You'll be able to take bigger risks. High risk, high reward. Do you see pickup as a chore or as an adventure? If you see it as a chore or something you HAVE to do, you're on the wrong track. You need to fix your mindset BEFORE you can fix your game. If you have trouble with this, I want you to, next time you go out, SOLELY focus on fun, not on pickup, and see how people react to you. I can give you a 100% guarantee people will respond better than before.
Ultimate Flirting Tips By: Infernity Follow this flirting advice and you'll crush it in your interactions with women. What To Do: Eliminate any need for acceptance or approval - these are your enemies to success in the art of flirting. Eye contact is king when flirting - look at her. Invade her space slightly (e.g.) poke her in the ribs / tickle. (Body Language is key in these flirting techniques.) Touch her on upper arm when you both find something funny - releases oxytocin (love chemical). Calibrate your energy level - meet high energy with high, and low energy with low. Lead the conversation, control the frame. You are the man, you are in charge. If she wants it, she’s got a *big time* battle on her hands (and more the better for the Sexual Tension). Don't break the tension - don't apologies, say "just kidding", etc. Look at her like she is up to no good. Do the cheeky smile. Nonverbal communication is extremely powerful at generating attraction in women. What NOT To Do: Lean in to her ear. Speak Louder. She can hear you. She will lean into you if she can't. Follow her around the bar/club. Care if she walks away from you. Look for her if she goes to the toilet and doesn't come straight back to you. Anything else that conveys neediness or desperation. This is one of the biggest tips on flirting *of all time*. Piss her off by being genuinely obnoxious or offensive. Remain playful at all times. Her throwing a drink at you is not one of the flirting signs we are looking for here.
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What To Say: Fake like she is annoying you. Role-play together. Comment on people or couples around you. Try to guess their story. Dodge her questions that are boring. Re-frame her tests. Make out something she did disgusted you a little bit, "Gross, you just spat on me when you said that" The hotter the girl, the better it works. Compliment her on something non-physical. E.g. "You seem pretty confident, it's refreshing" Tell her what to do. Examples: "Hold this a sec", "Come here", "Look at this", "Let's go over there, c'mon", "Check this out" and so on. You are leading her subtly, and by following what you say, she is accepting the frame. Compliance is her subtly acknowledging you as the leader, the dominant one. Any time she displays even a hint of some kind of incompetence, exaggerate it, to *the max*. If she can't type on her phone, say something like, "My 6 year old cousin can txt better than you" If she mumbles or makes a mistake when talking, say something like, "I didn't know it was special needs night tonight." Smile when you say these things. What NOT to say: - tired, boring, unoriginal, predictable crap? Do you come here often? What's your sign? Can I buy you a drink? I love you. Will you be my girlfriend / go out with me? Would you like to dance?
Guide to DHV – Autismus Conversationalist Theory By: Autismus Small-talk, chit chat, really conversation of any type is - shall we say - not in my nature. I've been studying the art of conversation for many years, and sonce I see a lot of posts here asking about topics related to "Talking" I'd like to give some of my experience with a few factors in the process of "talking a girl out of her pants" This first post relates to DHV routines and attraction switches DHV What's a DHV Routine? - Something that sounds awesome right? Wrong. Or at least not entirely. Remember your goal: relatively higher value (raising yours DHV / lowering hers Neg/DSQ) this post focuses on DHV. So the question becomes what does a woman value? Think about Sun Tzu's Art of War: "No season is the best time to attack and no terrain is ideal. Everything has its strength and it's weakness." ...or something like that. Point is: what is valued by one girl in one scenario will not necessarily be valued by
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another. A DHV story about sailing in the hamptons will Hook a sorority girl but will blow out a hippie chick / talking about a film you're making will interest a hipster girl and bore a latina. Of course these are stereo-types, but you get the idea. The rule of thumb for me is: she will value you if she's attracted to you, and she's attracted to you if you can flip her switches. Attraction Switches These are the primal animal things that any female social mammal will value: (CToL) Caretaker of loved ones - you are discriminatory in who you let into your life (qualifying) and those who are in your life are cared for by you. (LoM) Leader of men - men look up to you / seek your advice (PbF) Preselection by Females - females desire you (even if they aren't up to your standards) (SeP) Socio-economic Proof - (usually called social proof) this is just showing that you are with "the in-crowd". In high school that's the "cool kids". In college it's less cut and dry but still is usually the jocks OR the student gov OR the Frats, and there is even an "in-crowd" within each of those. After college, being part of the "in-crowd" simply means you are part of her world: whether that's Yacht Club, Redneck, Music Scene, Corporate America, whatever. Social proof is showing that you are part of her social structure - it does not mean popularity (common misconception). *(AtE) Ability to Emote - this one is not as visceral as the others - it is more unique to sentient beings - basically this is showing her that in addition to the animal appeal you have generated with the first four switches, you are more than an animal because you can think and feel and think about how you feel and most of all: talk about it. Special Skills and Interests - this is not an attraction-switch, but it is an interestswitch. Having rare or exotic skills will not necessarily make her "attracted" to you in the sexual or romantic sense, but it will get non-sexual IOI's (eye contact, initiating conversation) even if there are no IOA (indicatiors of attraction: hair-flick, neck touch, Bedroom Eyes, etc). This is good for hooking, and for getting her to invest, but if your DHV relies entirely on skills then you'll get in the FZ. (Tho bear in mind that some specific skills can identify you with specific social groups - see socio-economic proof). Framing your life to DHV and flip Attraction Switches Let's say you open a set and she asks what you're up to today, you tell her you went shopping at some fancy store, she's like "cool, I've been there" ... *crickets. What happened!?! you wonder, I said I shop at Le petit fancieshop! Isn't that a DHV? Yes and no. Yes, it can identify you as a member of her social group (if she's in that group); but No, it won't generate enough attraction to raise your value much higher than every other guy at that store - and she has no reason to talk to them either.
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Let's say it goes differently: open a set, she asks what you're up to today, you tell her you went shopping at some fancy store because it's your cousins' anniversary next month and you really like to get a gift that SPEAKS to you (CoL). But you didn't find anything you liked, you don't usually shop at this particular store (deniability in case this store disqualifies you from her social group - SeP) but your best friend Jennifer recommended it (PbF). You assure her you're not her gay, having a girl bff, she's just a girl that you used to date before one of you had to move and, after talking about it, you decided to transition to being friends (AtE). So anyway, you ask her what she's up to, this time she answers, she's contributing to the convo because she sees value in you for no other reason than that she feels attracted - and she doesn't know why. But you know why. You know that by dominating the conversation early you tirggered her visceral attraction switches. Remember the difference is in the details. Simply answering a question will get you nowhere. Give the details specifying why you did it, how you did it, why you chose that method, with or for whom you did whatever it is you did, where you usually did whatever andwhy you changed to a new location, as well as when the last time you did it was, who you were with, why you were with the... the details can be added ad infinitum and each detail should be framed to stimulate her attraction. Summary: Answer her questions -> the convo will fizzle. Give more DHV details -> the convo will last to build attraction as long as you like (srsly details and tangents can last for hours or days between good conversationalists). Keep detail Threads open and unresolved -> and she will be chasing you - but that's part II of the Autismus Conversationalist Trilogy
Rapport Building Technique By: xavier *If you are lost in Terminology look it up!* So I get a lot of questions about this and let's face it if you are new to this you will have a lot of problems building rapport. A lot of people are under the misconception that you have to open up to people so they can open up to you and that scares the sh1t out of AFC’S, but you don't. The best way to build rapport are cold reads which I will talk about in a moment plus after you do a cold read you can slide in a slightly challenging comment about the other persons way of thinking in order to keep out of the friend zone and build more attraction. Now when i said slightly I mean very slightly you do not want someone to feel bad having opened up to you, always remember that we reward good behavior so you should reward her opening up to you.
What is Cold Reading? Cold reading is a teaching usually used by psychics mentalists and illusionists to make a person feel like they know a lot about them without real prior knowledge. Generally, the
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cold reader will make a series of vague statements, will observe their reaction, and then will refine the original statements based on the reactions they got. PUA's use this to find commonalities helping to build rapport and comfort plus it is a form of DHV. Why a Cold Read: People usually won't resist cold reads since they are ambiguous, yet sound true to the listener. She will feel like you understand her, so she will open up even more to you. She will feel like u guys connected on a deeper level. It is easy to talk to someone whom you have commonalities with. How to do a Cold Read?
Observe her:
1. Body Language: Know what makes her uncomfortable read her is she extraverted/introverted. 2. Listen closely: Is she a realist an idealist? 3. Notice her clothes and style: Girls who wear high heels and have tattoos especially two or more do not see sex as a big deal these girls are called justifiers. Making her feel that sex is a big deal will end you. 4. Does she have more girl or guy friends: If she has more guy friends in the group that means she is a tester which means she will respond a lot to teasing and she needs to chase you at all times or she'll loose interest fast.
Then use Barnum Statements (The Forrer effect): Basically these are vague statements that apply to almost anyone. If you have observed her right u should know which ones to use: 1. I have an intuition about you. I bet you that most people think you've had life a lot easier than you actually have, because of the way you look. I don't think that's the case though. I think you've actually had to work harder than most people and at the same time you've had to play the role and make it seem like it's all coming easy. That must be difficult. 2. You know you're actually quite tense... i bet you're the kind of person that finds it difficult to really let go and relax... 3. You're a shy girl aren't you? You guys need to get her out more. 4. You have a strong need for others to like and admire you. 5. There are times when you are very energetic and outgoing, and other times you just like to chill. 6. Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic. If for some reason you are mistaken never take no for an answer always say "Yes But...": Say u used #4 she says No u say yes but you do like the attention dont you or if u used #6 u say yes but they are very far reaching and seem unrealistic to some people around you. This will also help you get into more specific details.
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Using kokology games like The Cube and strawberry fields work like a charm because they also introduce the element of fun.
You can use these timeless questions and interoperate there answers:
1. You must plan your own death. How old are you? How does it happen? And what is the funeral like? Interpretation: Talking about how you would like to die says a lot about how you would like to live. This is a great point of reference for commonality. Finding someone who wants to live like you want to live is really special. Most of us aren't living as we'd like to, sharing that desire brings you that much closer to achieving it. 2. You can be any animal. What are you? You can marry any animal except your own species. What kind of animal do you marry? Interpretation: Confident people pick animals who possess qualities they like about themselves. Insecure people pick animals they admire. When selecting an animal for their spouse, they usually select an animal that is least like their last or current BF. For instance, if she says she would be a dolphin it means she admires freedom, intelligence, cuteness, beauty. If she chooses a dog for her spouse's animal, it means that she abhors disloyalty and her ex probably cheated on her. 3. You can pick your parents from any point in time; they can be real or fictional. Who are they? Interpretation: Only those most comfortable with themselves and their families will answer with their own parents. The person's choices for her parents often reflect the qualities and/or conditions that were absent in her upbringing. Rather than draw attention to this, point out that fact that these are qualities which they want to instill in their own children. For instance if her dad was Einstein, she would like her children to be smart and great thinkers. If she wants her mother to be Amelia Earhart, she wants her children to have independence. 4. If you had to have a tattoo, what and where would it be? Interpretation: Tattoos represent permanence. In this day and age, many young people have tattoos, so they will probably show you theirs. This is good, but not the point of the exercise. Let them show it to you. But ask them if they get another one. The symbol or picture holds great meaning to them. The location they would get it likely represents a point of vulnerability to them, or perhaps their sense of style. It's up to you to decide which it is.
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PUA Terminology/Dictionary A – B – C – D – E – F –G – H – I – J – K – L – M – N – O – P – Q – R – S – T – U–V–W–X–Y–Z *Internet Is Required to Access The Definitions!* #
1 Set / One Set 101 2 Second Rule 24/7 Attractive Man 3 Minute Rule 3 Second Rule 7 Hour Rule A
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Abundance Mentality Accomplished Introduction (AI) Active Attraction Active Disinterest Active Disqualification Affirmation Air Traffic Control Alpha Female Of Group (AFOG) Alpha Male Alpha Male Of Group (AMOG) Alpha Male Other Guy (AMOG) alt.seduction.fast (ASF) Ambiguity AMOG Destroyer AMOG Killer (AK) Analysis Paralysis Anchor Animated Chat Anti-Approach Invitation (Anti-AI) Anti-Slut Defense (ASD) Approach Anxiety (AA) Approach Invitation (AI) Approach Machine Approach Priming Approval Seeking Arbitrary Target Arbitrary Value Archetype Game
Art of Charm (AOC) Art of the Pickup (AOTP) Aspiring Pick Up Artist (aPUA) Attraction Attraction Circuitry Projection Attraction Triggers Authenticity Auto Correcting Avatar Average Frustrated Chump (AFC) B
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Backwards/Reverse Rationalization Bad Boy Bait, Hook, Reel, Release (BHRR) Banter Barrage of Awesomeness Beasting Beautiful Woman Syndrome (BWS) Bedroom Eyes (Seducer Eyes) Beginner's Hell Being Present Belief System Below Average Frustrated Chump (BAFC) Best Self Beta Boy Friend (BBF) Beta Male Big Mouth Theory Bio Feedback Bitch Shield (BS) Blind Spot Blitzhooking Blow Out Blow Out Game Blow Out Opener Blueprint Blueprint Sequencing Awareness Blur Body Language (BL) Body Language Clusters Body Language Positiong Body Rocking Bootcamp (BC) Bottom Bitch
Bottom Feeder Bounce Boundary Function Boy Band Principle Boyfriend (BF) Boyfriend Destroyer (BFD) Boyfriend Game Break In The Clouds Breaking Point Breaking Rapport Breakup Artist Bridge And Tunnel Problem Bromance Bullshit Escalation Bunny Button Pushing Buyer's Remorse Buying Temperature (BT) Buying Temperature Spike (BT Spike) Buzz C
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Calibration Callback Humour / Text Back Humour Campus Game / College Game Canned Opener Canned Routine (CR) Casanova Cat String Theory Caveman Celebrity Game Celebrity PUA Challenge Point Character Development Charisma Charisma Arts (CA) Charisma Coaching Chat Up Line Cheat Sheet Cheater Chick Bait Chick Crack Chick Politics Chit Chat Master
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Chode Chode Crystal Chode Vaporization Class Cliff's List Close Closer Club Intuition Cock Tease Cockblock (CB) Cocky & Funny (C&F) Cold Approach Cold Reading College Game Comfort Comfort Building Location Comfort Plan (CP) Comfort Zone Commonality Compliance Compliance Momentum Compliance Test (CT) Compliance Threshold Compliment Compliment Opener Conformist Congruence Congruence Test Connection Triggers Consistency Consistency Principle Conspiracy Continuously Orgasmic State Conversational Jujitsu Conversational Rapport Conversational Thread Conveyance Core Core Confidence Core Purpose Core Value Corporate Pickup Cougar Courtship Crash and Burn (C&B)
Credibility Date Cub Culture Shock Cutting the Thread Cycle of Internalization / Crystalization D
Dance Floor Monkey Dance Game Dancing Monkey Dating Coach Day 2 Day Game Dead Approach Invitation (DAI) Death Row Death Row / Wall of Death Debrief Decimal Rating Scale Decision Dependency Deep Identity Level Change Default Facial Expression Delusional Sense of Coolness Demonstration of Higher Value (DHV) Deus Ex Machina DHV Spike Dick Crack Direct Game Direct Opener DIS Method Disarm Display Low Value (DLV) Disqualification (DQ) Doggy Dinner Bowl Look (DDBL) Dominance Domino Effect Don Juan (DJ) Double Your Dating (DYD) Double-Take Down To Fuck (DTF) Droping Anchor Dual Induction Massage Dynamic Social Homeostasis E
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Economic Lover Eject Eject & Explain (E&E) Eject With Explanation (EwE) Eliciting Values (EV) Email Close (@close) Emotional Connection (EC) Emotional Intelligence / Social Intelligence Emotional Leverage Emotional Spiking Emotional Stimulation Emotional Tampon End-Game Energy Level Engine of Survival Entitlement Entourage Entourage Game Epiphany Chains Error by D (EBD) Essense Exaptation External Interrupt Externalized Reference Points Extraction Eye Accessing Cues Eye Coding Eye Contact (EC) Eye Fucking Eyes Go Bright F
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Facebook Close (FB Close) Failed Target (FT) Fake IOI Fallout Pussy False Disqualifier False Idols / False Prophets False Presumption False Takeaway False Time Constraint (FTC) Fat Chick Syndrome Fat Girl Overhead Photo (FGOP) Fatty (Tuna)
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Fatty / Fattie Faux Pas Feeding Frenzy Female Gurus Female Pick Up Artist (FPUA) Female Trainer Field Field Report (FR) Field Test Filling in the Canvas Find Meet Attract Close (FMAC) Find/Fuck Ten Other Women (FTOW) Fire Behind the Smoke Fire Gazing First Phone Call (FPC) Flake Flaky Chick Flash Game Flawless Natural Flinch Points Flirting Flooding Smile Floozy Flopsy Flow Fluff Focus Opener Fool's Mate Fool's Mate Fantasy Forcing IOIs Foreplay Close (4close) Frame Frame Control Frame Games Freeze Out Friend Close Friend Zone (FZ) Friends With Benefits Fuck Buddy (FB) Fuck Close (FClose) Fuck Me Eyes Fucking New Guy (FNG) Fucking Ugly Girl (FUG) Full Close (FClose) Functional Opener
Fundamental Shift
G
Gambit Game Gay PUA / PU Gay Gay Test Gaymog Geographical Gaming Getting the Party Started Girl Close (GClose) Girl Code Girl Coding Girl Friend (GF) Girl Game Girlfriend Material God Mode Good Guy Game (GGG) Grace Grand Master PUA (gmPUA) Grand Master Style (GM Style) Green Pick Up Artist (GPUA) Grooming Grounding Group Theory Gunwitch Method (GWM) H
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Handicap Principle Harem Management High Class (HC) High Sex Drive (HD) High Value (HV) Hired Gun Hired Gun Game Honey Trap Hook Phase Hook Point (HP) Hoop Theory Hot Babe (HB) How To Get The Women You Desire Into Bed (HTGTWYDIB) Hugger
Hunny Bunny (HB) Hyperfocus Hypnosis I
I Perspective Identity Identity Criterion Image Improvisational Opener Incongruence Indicator of Disinterest (IOD) Indicator of Interest (IOI) Indicator of Sexual Interest (ISI) Indirect Game Indirect Opener Inducement to Approach Invitation (IAI) Inner Demons Inner Game Insta-Date Instant/Interactive Value Display (IVD) Intellectual Discipline Intermittence International PUA Interrupt Interview Pickup Isolation It's On Moment (IOM) J
J-Girls / Japanese Girls Jealousy Plotline Just Another Wannabe (JAW) K
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Keyboard Jockey (KJ) Keys to the VIP Kinesthetics (Kino) Kino Anchored Motion Inducement (KAMI) Kino Escalation Kino Escalation Ladder Kino Opener
Kino Pinging Kino Steps Kino Test Kiss Close (KClose) L
Label Whore Ladies' Man Lair / Seduction Lairs Lair List Landmines Last Minute Resistance (LMR) Lay of Rage Lay Report (LR) Leading Let's Just Be Friends (LJBF) Life Changing Moment (LCM) Lifestyle Likability Factor Limiting Belief Lock-In Prop Locked Out Locking-In Logistics Long Distance Relationship (LDR) Long Term Coaching Long Term Relationship (LTR) Love Systems Lover Low Class (LC) Low Self Esteem (LSE) Low Sex Drive (LD) Low Value (LV) M
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M3 Model Male Pattern Blindness (MPB) Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Master of Ceremonies Master Pick Up Artist (mPUA) Mastermind Alliance Mayor Walking Meme
Mental Masturbation Merging Meta Game / Meta Frame Mid-Game Mind Fuck Mini Cold Read (MCR) Mirroring Mixed Set Moderated Alt Seduction Fast (mASF) Modus Operandi (MO) Moment of Decision Moment of Inspiration Moment of Realness Momentum Most Chicks Don't Suffice (MCDS) Mother Hen Motivation Killers / Motivation Boosters Motor Response Moving Target/Set Moxy Mr. Smooth Style Multi-Threading Multiple Long Term Relationship (MLTR) Multiple Long Term Relationship Cubed (MLTR^3) Multiple Long Term Relationship Squared (MLTR^2) Muppet Gallery / Peanut Gallery Muse Mystery Lounge Mystery Method (MM) N
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Nano Expressions Nanpa Natural Natural Game Natural Selection Neg Hit/Negging (Negs) Neg Roll Neg Theory Negative Body Language Nester Chick Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) New Behavior Patterns Newbie Mission
Newbie's Paradox Next Nice Guy Night Game Nightlife Princess Nimbus Non-Reaction Seeking Non-Verbal Communication Nonsexual Touching Nonversation Norming Not Ready For a Relationship (NRFR) Number Close (#close) Number Crunching O
Obstacle October Man Sequence Omega Male One Night Stand (ONS) Oneitis Online Game Open Open Ended Question (OEQ) Opener Opinion Opener Orbiter Out Alpha Outcome Independence Outer Game Outing Report (OR) Over Qualification (OQ) P
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Pacing Pair Bonding Paradoxical Realities Party Girl Passive Value Pattern Pattern On-The-Fly (POTF) Pattern-Interrupt Pawn/Pawning
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Peacocking / Peacock Theory Pebble Pecking Pendant Anchoring People Watching Perceived Value Perceptual Escalation Threshold Personal Amusement Personality Conveying Routine Phase-Shift Phone Game Pick Up (PU) Pick Up Artist (PUA) Pick Up Guru (PUG) Pick Up Master (PUM) Pickup Artist Pilgrimage Pickup Lifestyle Experiments Pickup Opportunity Cost Pickup Podcast (PuP) Pillow Talk Pimp / Pimp Game Pings & Pongs Pivot Plate Spinning Plausible Deniability Player Playette Playfulness Plowing Point To Self (PTS) Polarity / Sexual Polarity Portal Words Position of Power Poster Boy Practice Game Pre Lay Relaxation Mode (PLRM) Pre-Approach Invitation, male Approach Invitation (pAImAI) Pre-selection Precedence Premature Ejectulaton (Pre-me) Presence of Mind Pressure Gauge Primary Prizing Process Over Outcome
Professional PUA Project Rockstar Promoter Game Propinquity / Propinquity Effect Protection Shield Provider Proximity / Proximity Alert System (PAS) Prude Pseudo Seeker (PS) PUA Convention PUA Forum PUA Forums PUA Hate PUA Training Public Display of Affection (PDA) Pull Punish/Reward Purd Push-Pull R
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Rapport Re-Opening Reactive Disqualification Read The Fornication/Fucking Manual (RTFM) Real Social Dynamics (RSD) Recalcitrant Experience Recovering Average Frustrated Chump (rAFC) Recovery Recycle Reference Points Reframe Rejection Residential Training Resistance Reticular Activation System (RAS) Reverse AFC Reverse Approach Anxiety (RAA) Rite Of Passage Rituals Road Head Role Reversal Roll Off Romance Artist
Routine Routine Monkey Routine Stack Rules of Seduction Rumination S
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Same Day Lay (SDL) Sandbagging Sarge Sargeholic Sarger's High Save-Me Eyes Scarcity Mentality Score Sealing The Motherfucking Deal (STMD) Second Meeting Secret Society Secret Underground Internet Seduction Community (SUISC) Seducer's Aura Seduction Community Seduction/Seducer Selection Dynamic Self Fulfilling Prophecy Self Point (SP) Self-Kino Separate-Together (SnT) Set Set Rich Environment (SRE) Sex Location Sex Worthy Sexting Sexual Confidence Sexual Discretion Sexual Selection Sexual State Sexual Stereotype Sexy Son Hypothesis Shit Test Shocker Short Setting Short Term Relationship (STR) Shotgun Neg Show of Interest (SOI)
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Shut up and Lead (SUAL) Signal/Statement of Disinterest (SOD) Simple Pickup Single/Same Night Lay (SNL) Situ Situational Confidence Situational Opener Slow Motion Entrance Sniper Neg Social Alignment Social Butterlfy Social Capital Social Circle Social Circle Game Social Conditioning/Programming Social Connector Social Context Social Context Social Cue Social Dead-end Social Exchange Propensity Social Fluidity Social Gathering Social Hierarchy Social Hook Point Social Intuition Social Kinetic Energy Social Mask Social Nexus Social Norms Social Pressure Social Proof Social Robot Social Trees Social Value Social Watering Hole Speed Seduction (SS) Spinning Stack Forward Stage Presence Stale Stalker Stall Starfish Girl State
State Change State Control State Pump State Transference Statement Statement of Intent (SOI) Sticking Point (SP) Stonewalling Strawberry Fields Routine Street Cred Street Game Stripper Game Structured Game Stylemog Subcommunication Subset Subtext Super Hot Babe (SHB) Super Winging Supplication Support System Surrogate Rage Survival and Replication Value (S&R) Swagger Synesthesia Synthetic T
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Tactile Opening Tailgater Takeaway Tandem Hunting Target Target Market Assessment Target-Rich/Target-Poor Teaming Teen Game Text Game The Fucking/Fornication Manual (TFM) The Pick-Up Artist (on VH1) Threesome/Foursome/Moresome Thresholding Time Bridge Time Constraint
Time Distortion Tits and Ass (T&A) Token Resistance Tool Toolbox Trance Words Travel Pick Up (TPU) Triangular Gazing Tribal Knowledge Tribe Troy Dizon Dating (TDD) Trust Test Try-Hard Turn Around (TA) U
Ugly Girl (UG) Ugly Girl Cock Block (UGCB) Unapologetic Unconditional Love Under 21 Convention Underground Pickup Artistry Unique Selling Proposition (USP) Universal Female Excuse Archive (UFEA) Unmoderated alt.seduction.fast (uASF) Us-Bubble V
Vacuum Validation Value Value Connector Value Demonstration Routine Venue Venue Change Venusian Arts Vibe / Vibing Victim Chick (VC) Vulnerability W
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Warm Alpha
Warm Approach Warm-Up Set Warpig Way Below Average Frustrated Chump (WBAFC) Waypoint Window of Escalation Wing Wingman Wingwoman Wood Work Pick Up (WPU) Wow Factor Wussy Y
Yes-Ladder Yet Another Outing Report (YAOR) Z
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Zero Night Stand (ZNS)
