Seduction

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Seduction Copyright © 2010 Mike Macgirvin New South Wales, Australia All Rights Reserved.

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Table of Contents Introduction..............................................................................................5 The Animal Kingdom........................................................................12 Attraction ..............................................................................................13 The Mating Ritual..................................................................................15 Body Language......................................................................................20 The Alpha Male......................................................................................25 Social Proof............................................................................................28 Female Sexual Strategy..........................................................................32 Cleverness..............................................................................................38 The Sex Scale.........................................................................................39 The Female Selection Process ..............................................................46 Programming The Mind.........................................................................58 Influencing People.................................................................................64 Manipulation..........................................................................................67 Mirror, Mirror.........................................................................................74 Supply and Demand...............................................................................76 Let's Get To Work.............................................................................80 Pay Attention..........................................................................................85 Who Are You?........................................................................................87 Confidence.............................................................................................90 Break Obsessions...................................................................................96 Respect and Esteem..............................................................................100 Dominate..............................................................................................102 Relax....................................................................................................103 Imagine Success...................................................................................105 Take Risks............................................................................................109 Adapt....................................................................................................110 Be Competitive ...................................................................................111 Bad Boys Finish First ..........................................................................112

4 Humour.................................................................................................115 Be FUN................................................................................................119 Mystery Man........................................................................................120 Positivity..............................................................................................122 The Male Display.................................................................................123 It's A Numbers Game...........................................................................126 Image and Presentation........................................................................128 Get a Life..............................................................................................136 Your Mating Value...............................................................................141 The Law of Attraction..........................................................................145 Building Trust.......................................................................................148 Developing Charisma...........................................................................151 Where To Meet Women........................................................................154 Meeting Women - The Approach.........................................................157 Work the Room ...................................................................................166 Watch the Eyes.....................................................................................172 Voice Training......................................................................................175 How To Hold A Conversation..............................................................178 Frame Dragging...................................................................................184 Beyond Talk.........................................................................................186 Build Attraction....................................................................................190 The Attraction Loop.............................................................................191 Statement of Intention..........................................................................194 Your Place or Mine?.............................................................................197 The Road to the Bedroom ..................................................................201 Mind Blowing Sex ..............................................................................205 The Quick Fuck....................................................................................213 Player Consequences............................................................................216 Relationships........................................................................................218 Epilogue.............................................................................................222

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One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl... I sat beside her... I said 'Hi,' and she said 'Hi,' and then I said 'Nice day, isn't it,' and she said 'Yeah, I guess'... I said 'What do you mean "you guess"?'... she said 'I saw my analyst today and he says I have a problem.'... so I asked 'What's the problem?'... she replied 'I can't tell you, I don't even know you.'... I said 'Well sometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect stranger on a bus.' So she said, 'Well, my analyst said I'm a nymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys... by the way, my name is Diane.' I said,'Hello, Diane, my name is Bucky Goldstein.' -- Steven Wright

Introduction When I was a little over eight years old, my dad pulled me into his study and opened an encyclopaedia. On the page were pictures of human reproductive organs. I snickered slightly. I was about to get the birds and bees lecture; most of which I was already aware of from talking in the school yard. My dad dryly explained the mechanics involved. The penis goes into the

6 vagina, sperm swim toward the egg, etc. Several years later when I attempted to practise what he attempted to teach me that day, I found that he had left out some rather critical information. How the heck are you supposed to get the penis into the vagina in the first place? It's not as easy as it sounds. The vagina can be harder to get into than the cash vault at the Bellagio Casino. Sex seemed to come easy for some men, but I wasn't one of them. I was nerdy and shy. Smart but not athletic. It wasn't totally bleak. Every few years I'd get lucky and have a brief opportunity to sow my wild oats with some real loser of a girlfriend. But she would always meet somebody else who seemed to have a mythical attractive quality and soon be gone. This familiar pattern repeated itself over and over for years. What did these other guys have that I didn't? I made it a goal to find out. In fact this began a long process of discovery and personal growth. I learned a great deal – and found not only answers but amazing discoveries along the way. It literally changed my life. Now I'm going to share with you what I learned the hard way and teach you all about the fascinating world of seduction - how it

7 works and how to make it work for you. I will tell you everything you need to know in order to surround yourself with attractive women that will bring you all the happiness, pleasure, and sexual opportunities that you desire. It doesn't require money. It doesn't require good looks. Neither of these will hurt your chances, but there's a lot more to it than that. You can be a millionaire and not be able to get laid, as you can also be highly attractive but lack the confidence to make anything happen. You can be short, fat, and bald and living off food stamps and have women begging you to sleep with them. You only need to learn how. You are about to embark on the greatest journey of your life. Seduction is a skill with a broad range of applications, not necessarily sexual (even though that might be your primary goal). You may wish to think of it instead as influence, and the person holding the skill may be said to be influential. I am about to teach you how to become influential, to become a leader. The kind of person that other people like to be around and spend time with. Having enjoyable sex with attractive women of quality any time you want is merely a side effect of this process. I wrote this book to help men of the world that perhaps

8 weren't born with the “right stuff” and/or have had little or no practical instruction in dating and seduction – so that they can find their way out of the awkward and frustrating loneliness of not being desirable, of not being able to figure out exactly why they consistently fail to connect, and feeling helpless to do anything about it. The “dating process” that many of you have been taught and as we know it today – consisting of brilliant opening line, chitchat, followed by dinner/movie, flowers, etc... doesn't work. It is hopelessly broken. There are many dating and seduction guides available on the internet. The problem that most authors of these materials encounter is that what men really want is a foolproof script or opening line which will make any woman they meet want to have sex with them right now. If you can promise that, you're going to make a lot of money. So that's what many guides are geared towards – the quick and manipulative opener. Instant seduction isn't a complete myth, but it also isn't foolproof. What works in one situation or for one individual may not work in the next. So-called “foolproof” scripts and techniques quickly become obsolete because [surprise!] girls read this stuff

9 too. I know – I've tried all the techniques. I will tell you the basic theory of many of these “instant” approaches, and you can use this knowledge and try your luck. But always remember that luck is fickle and unreliable. I'm here to teach you seduction from the inside out. You'll have an edge on all of the script kiddies because you will be much more versatile than they. Those that have been practising seduction for many years don't play this childish instant fuck game any more. Look beyond it. It's a huge waste of time and resources. Think about what you would be doing if you no longer had to worry about getting laid. Think about how your interactions with people in general would improve if you could take your mind off how to use them to obtain sex. The truth is; at least on the short term you're going to have to work hard - and often improvise. I'm not going to sugar coat it. I'm also not going to send you out in the world with a bunch of scripts that may or may not work tomorrow. You can see guys down at the local pub reciting some instant pick-up drivel they picked up on the internet and then are shocked and stupefied when the girl doesn't go home with them. They've become mindless robots. (What's worse is when it even sounds recited.) The methods presented here are tried and proven. I intend to

10 send you out into the world with the knowledge you need to succeed. It's your job to adapt this knowledge to your own situation in order to use it effectively. The saying goes that to give a man a fish will feed him for a day – but to teach a man to fish will feed him for a lifetime. My goal is to teach you to fish. The fine print in most all of the popular seduction guides is that all these clever techniques really only work once you improve your so-called inner game, which is the persona you project to the world - and which is either summarised in a very brief chapter or covered in depth in yet another additional course you have to buy. The thing is - once you've got inner game, you could very likely walk up to a hot babe and blow soap bubbles in her face and get her to have sex with you. (Hmmm. These guys make a lot of money selling their patented pick-up techniques. Perhaps next month I'll create and market the “Ultimate Soap Bubble Seduction Method”. Don't laugh - try it.) But I digress. We're going to concentrate mostly on that persona you project to the world. It's no game. It's who you are. It's the first thing people think when they look at you. Forget everything you think you know about dating and relationships. If you're doing it the way you learned in high school, you've got it all

11 wrong - and it won't work. We're going to start over from the beginning - and do it right this time. Be prepared to challenge all your existing beliefs and learn new things and begin a long process of change – for the better. These changes will be seen as making you more attractive and interesting. And being attractive and interesting is how you get women to take notice of you – and ultimately how you get laid. Along the way we'll cover some of the tools and tricks of the trade which you can use to enhance your natural abilities if you're just starting out, though you'll get much further over time with natural ability than you will with tricks. This particular book is arranged into two parts. The first part is mostly to provide you the background information you will need in order to understand the fundamentals of human interactions; and also provide a glimpse of what is necessary for you to do in order to have a more powerful influence on those interactions. The second part will tell you how to do it. I know you are probably impatient and want to get started right away and hopefully get laid tonight, but please do not skip the first part. All will become obvious as you read and learn. Mike Macgirvin – New South Wales, Australia

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Part I The Animal Kingdom We are all part of the animal kingdom, and owe a great deal of our behaviour to evolution and genetics. Before we begin the process of transformation into a seductive person, it would help to know a little background about how we as humans operate and interact at a fundamental level, both socially and

13 sexually. What exactly is attraction and how does it work? If you look at the workings of the brain, you will find that some of our behaviours have evolved over thousands or millions of years in order to adapt to our changing environment, and some of those behaviour patterns are still with us from our primordial roots, while others are a direct result of a long tradition of banding together in hunter-gatherer societies. These behaviours influence us every day and to ignore them will doom you to failure in any social situation.

Attraction Attraction is a process whereby a person feels closer or in fact moves closer to another, in terms of either emotional or physical distance (or both). The reduction of distance is usually triggered by some sense of perceived benefit to the person. Attraction can be considered mutual if it involves two (or more) people who have arrived at the same conclusion of perceived benefit and have indicated this by reciprocal action. This benefit may be access to additional resources for the person, or it may provide additional opportunity (such as to obtain sex), or it may involve the satisfaction of a social or non-material

14 need such as companionship. Mutual attraction leading to increased closeness over time is known as a relationship. Physicists are likely to state unequivocally that opposites attract (based on the magnetic principle). This is probably true. It has close analogues in sexual attraction (males and females are considered opposites in this sense). But social attraction is a bit more complicated. It's still based on opposites – as one person has what the other person does not have. However social attraction is usually built on a foundation of commonality and rapport which acts like a kind of glue to make the fundamental attraction even more sticky. So to really get along, forget about being complete opposites, as some people seem to treat this as a goal. That's ridiculous. You need to have things in common, and the more the merrier. Sexual relationships among humans are most successful when they include both the biological sexual attraction as well as a high degree of social attraction, as the multiple levels of mutual need fulfilment may result in physical closeness (and perhaps repeated matings) over a long period of time. This is known as a long term relationship.

15 Attraction also has biological consequences. The human body releases endorphins when you are near the person you are attracted to. These make you feel good. When the person is distant, the lack of endorphins makes you feel sad or depressed. In this sense, attraction is or can become very similar to a drug dependency. Most people want to feel good - so they will continue to return to the subject of their attraction.

The Mating Ritual The mating ritual amongst humans varies little from most other animal species. Sociologists tend to use the term “resources” a lot when describing these behaviours. Mating at its core involves the process of reproduction (regardless of how enjoyable it is). In the human species, the female carries the entire risk of pregnancy, and also the burden of raising offspring and struggling to keep them alive until adulthood. These activities require a lot of resources. The male on the other hand only provides his genetic material in the form of sperm, and nothing else is holding him to the act of parenting (other than his own volition). Since they are the most heavily invested in terms of resources, females have evolved to be the gender that controls selectivity of mating. It is their choice who they have sex with.

16 Period. The way the mating process works is not much different from thousands of other species, and hasn't changed appreciably in millions of years. It begins with the male presenting the male display. In some species, he dances or collects objects, has the biggest schlong, or perhaps the most colourful tail. Whatever. He needs to present himself unequivocally as the best sex partner. The female then evaluates these displays and compares the males for their genetic and/or parenting qualities, and if she finds one of them acceptable - responds with a signal of interest, followed by a submissive gesture as if to say “Hi, big guy – I'm waiting for you...”. These subtle signals tell the male that he is allowed to approach and begin the act of courtship, which will often (but not always) lead to copulation (sex). If she does not find him acceptable, she will look away; and he will have to go present his display somewhere else. Many species copulate only during estrus, or the most fertile point of the ovulation cycle (they are said to be “in heat”). In humans, this point of the cycle isn't always advertised through appropriate signals to the other sex, and therefore copulation can and does take place most any time. The end result is all that

17 matters to us at the moment – humans can and do have sex whenever it suits them to do so; and their mating behaviour and bodies have evolved to a stage where the act of sex is enjoyable in its own rite, rather than purely as a means to reproduce. However; and this is important – reproduction is the primary goal. The genetic adaptation to having sex any time (and the fact that it is so enjoyable) is apparently the result of a biological arms race over rampant adultery in our ancestors. I would refer those interested in exploring this fascinating topic in depth to read “The Red Queen” by Matt Ridley. The female is the selective partner, but at least in humans, the male is considered the dominant and aggressive partner once courtship has begun. He is the seducer. It is his function to approach and initiate physical contact, and to take the lead in all of the mechanics of mating, which involve touching, kissing, petting, and finally penetration and intercourse. Another important aspect to consider about sex within humans is the evolution of higher intelligence and the addition of what we call “game” into the ritual. We are constantly bombarded by sexual symbolism and messages from the world around us. Competition is fierce. Adultery is rampant. So after the initial

18 mutual indication of interest, one or both partners will often initiate an attraction loop in order to heighten the attractive force and increase the chances of long-term bonding. The attraction loop is a process of subtle manipulation wherein attraction is withheld by one partner briefly. This causes the other partner to feel a loss and devote resources to restoring it - by increasing their interest to overcome the loss. This allows one partner some element of control over the other by regulating the supply of attraction endorphins. In essence this creates a drug dependency in the other partner as well as a heightened level of attraction. The more one works towards a particular goal, the more one is invested in that goal through resources, and the more of their mental frames incorporate that particular goal. Their mind is slowly being taken over. Within the brains and bodies of the participants, a great many changes are happening as the mating process unfolds. Many of these biological processes are extremely subtle and are acting on the subconscious minds of those involved. Hormones and chemical signals are being exchanged. Body language is being exchanged. You may not be aware of it, but inside your

19 brains a lengthy and complex conversation is taking place completely without words. Hopefully you learned all of this in high school biology class, but I'm going over it for a reason. Humans think that they are acting with conscious oversight and making rational choices in their lives, but quite often they are deceiving themselves. They are instinctively hard-wired to act certain ways in certain circumstances. There are some behaviour patterns which are not the result of conscious choice and which we have no control over. Don't fret. A little later I'll discuss several aspects of the mating process where you can elicit elements of choice and control. Fundamental to this discussion is that males and females have different patterns of needs and desires, and that their minds are therefore programmed differently. I'm also assuming that the person reading this book is a male, and doesn't have any major issues understanding or relating to other males; which we will therefore cover only briefly. Adjust your expectations accordingly. You cannot approach the act of persuading, influencing, or seducing a female without being able to understand her perspective and how her brain works at a fundamental level.

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Body Language Another aspect of human evolution worth noting is that rich oral communications are relatively recent developments in evolutionary history. These signals which I mentioned during the mating ritual go back millions of years and are the fundamental process by which humans communicate in mating situations, and in fact in all social situations. It is the language of the body - eye movements, muscle twitches, gestures, smell, and vectors (e.g. which way you lean or your fingers or feet are pointing). Your aspirations, fears, all your emotions - are written all over your face and body and can be read clearly by anybody willing to learn the language. I will try to cover the essentials which you need to know, but I heartily encourage the reader to educate themselves on this subject in depth, because mastering this form of communication is absolutely critical in order to progress in influential ability. Check Amazon.com or your local bookseller for comprehensive books on the subject. The first and most important thing to know is that women have evolved in such a way as to be naturally very proficient at reading body language. Men have not. This is the result of generations of women being the choosing partner in sexual

21 interactions. Remember, it takes lots of resources for her to bear and raise children. She must be able to spot a male who isn't what he claims to be – a willing and reliable father with the right genetic mix to pass to her children. Her brain is processing every move you make, every subtle change of facial expressions, the way you hold yourself. And she is really, really good at it. The next thing you need to know is that humans (even males) take stock of all new people that they come into contact with, reading the body cues they send out. This is to weed out dangerous people. In less than a second and definitely within 30 seconds of initiating contact, your brain has analysed and pigeon-holed this new person into what type of person they are – trustworthy or flake, friend or foe, somewhat like you or completely different. This evaluation may continue to be refined for about 3-4 minutes as new information is made available, but the fundamental decisions were made in the first few seconds, and that initial perception will ultimately define the entire relationship you will have with this person. In a matter of seconds, women have already sized you up and decided whether they will ever consider having sex with you, or whether you're just going to be a friend, or whether you're just a jerk that they should

22 avoid at all costs. This is very important! Once you've been categorised, your chances of getting into another category are slim, and in most cases next to impossible. They key signals for determining if somebody finds you attractive are: – an open posture, arms not crossed – leaning towards (not away from) you – looking directly at you – preening or touching hair – feet pointed toward you – dilated pupils – licking lips – any form of casual touch of your body – caressing their own body in subtle ways – Women may tend to exaggerate their bust line by thrusting their breasts forward or “framing them for display” using their arms or natural objects. They also tend to highlight their waistline through posture, and

23 noticeably display their wrist as a submissive gesture. – How a woman displays her lips can be a very potent sexual indicator. Puffy, pouty, engorged with blood, and slightly parted can be a blatant indicator of exactly what is happening with her “other” lips (the labias), which tend to react in unison to sexual stimuli. Some of these signals can be faked and/or might be accidental movements, but if you encounter several of these in rapid succession, chances are pretty good that the person likes you. Consequently, if the person is leaning away from you with arms crossed tightly in front of them and avoids looking you in the eye – you aren't making a very good impression and you might want to focus your energy elsewhere. Chemical signals are the most subtle cues of the lot. It is very difficult to counterfeit these and almost impossible to consciously read them. They act primarily on the subconscious minds of those around us. Fear and apprehension can be detected completely by odour. There are currently products being tested which reportedly can weed out terrorists or smugglers in an airport based on this chemical fear indication. Some of the other chemicals your body produces are

24 known as “pheromones” and are manufactured by your body specifically for the role of signalling your sexual availability. Your chemical structure and odour will vary in subtle ways depending on how recently you've had intercourse, how recently you've had non-copulatory sex (masturbation), and your levels of pheromones will also be affected by physical proximity to attractive and virile members of the opposite sex (as a sexual enhancer) – as well as your own offspring (as a sexual detractor). The mating ritual and first sexual encounter between two people throws their brain literally into a chemical stew of hormones and bonding chemicals and attraction chemicals. The list is enormous. This is the clinical definition of afterglow and in fact the basis of love itself – a chemical imbalance caused by the rapid release of numerous hormones leading to unpredictable and perhaps silly behaviour. After a few days/weeks of the relationship this stew dies down and is primarily driven by oxytocin, which is a long-term bonding and trust hormone. Eventually this also fades and the chemical balance slowly returns to normal.

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The Alpha Male Human societies evolved from small hunter-gatherer tribes of 8-30 people who banded together and lived a cooperative existence to ensure the survival of their communities. Like may other species which aggregate in bands or packs, there is always an alpha male – or the dominant male of the group. The dominant male is the natural leader and decides where the tribe is going and as the most powerful member of the community is always the first choice of females as a long term mating partner. This is because he is proven to be the most resourceful of the males in the group, so raising children with him will provide the highest chance of survival of offspring. He has more resources available to him and more choice in all that he does. This affords him power, or the ability to coerce others to do things for him. Other males in the group are known as beta males and are in constant competition for any females that the alpha rejects for some reason. There is a defined pecking order, and those at the bottom of the ladder have progressively fewer choices, fewer resources, and fewer mating opportunities. Depending on the culture, it is not unusual for those at the extreme bottom of the ladder to have zero mating opportunities.

26 In many of the lesser technologically developed human societies, polygamy is still practised and the alpha male not only has the most wives, but also the most goats. In the industrial world where polygamy has been outlawed, the alpha male often wields the same power, but you will find him instead with the most money and the most girlfriends/mistresses. An alpha male is noticeably different both in body language and in appearance than the typical male of the species. Women are able to cue into these differences quickly. Other males (and females) have learned to adopt submissive behaviours in his presence while the alpha clearly shows signs of being dominant or in control. Some of these signals involve: – freely taking up space – outgoing and trusting – being attentive – not seeking approval – head up, shoulders back – eyes focused clearly, not darting or shifting about Additionally, a dominant male's easy access to resources

27 (both material and social) can become a part of their male display. Nice clothes, hot car, etc. Humans are still primarily tribal. Look around your workplace or social groups, and you'll see what tribes exist and who holds the alpha role. This will be the decision maker that everybody else looks to for approval. These tribes also can be quite dynamic. Tribes may exist for an hour or two and break apart. Wherever people congregate, they instinctively look for and choose a leader, though hardly anybody is aware on a physical level that this actually happening. It mostly takes place through body language and subconscious communication. Your challenge is to become that leader, because this is how you get what you want. Fortunately, for those who are not able to become an alpha male within their own tribe, they are often able to break away and form a new tribe – and assume leadership of it. These males still may have the problem of attracting females into their tribe, but I'm mentioning this to show that all is not lost if you weren't born into a high status role in your current tribe. Another way to increase your status is to become more of a leader, so as to move up the ladder in the pecking order. Most

28 alpha males have a teacher's pet or favourite beta male who is second in command of the tribe. While this person doesn't enjoy the full status of being the alpha male, sometimes he is able to enjoy many of the benefits of being the second choice, which is much better than being at the bottom and getting nothing at all; and also frees him from the need to make tough decisions for the tribe. To do this, the person needs only to suck up to and show approval for the alpha male and help guard him from attack by other betas. The alpha will almost always reciprocally protect him and assist him in obtaining additional resources. This is because the alpha needs somebody in a lower position in order for him to be superior. This is called social proof.

Social Proof A dominant or alpha male's status is expressed and confirmed by the actions of those around him through a primal ritual we call social proof, which is essentially peer pressure expressed almost completely with body language. It may be possible to mimic an alpha male and many men do this occasionally, for instance to obtain sex. But they often fail in the

29 deceit because they lack social proof. How does social proof work? Let's say that Bob is the alpha male in his tribe. Jack is in the tribe. When Bob and Jack are together, Jack sits defensively, with arms crossed, and when he makes a statement, looks towards Bob for approval of what he is saying. So does Bill, and so does Henry, and so does Mary. By their body language, all of those present in this situation have voted for Bob as the leader and the alpha or dominant male of this tribe. If an even more powerful male enters the room (let's say his name is Tom), all eyes will be on Bob. He is their leader. If Bob should assume a submissive stance with Tom, Tom will now become the dominant male of the group and everybody else will shift their loyalty accordingly – at least as long as Tom is in the room. When Tom leaves the room, the “crown” will revert back to Bob. If Bob does not submit to Tom's authority, the tribe will usually remain loyal to Bob. Tom in this case might be more powerful in theory, but he has no social proof within this room with which to justify his power, so he is now just a visitor in Bob's tribe, and Bob still has all the power. Note that a mutiny can occur if Bob does not submit to Tom, but the rest of his tribe does.

30 This is an interesting situation - where Bob could ultimately lose control completely. Taking over an alpha role covertly can be accomplished by working yourself into a teacher's pet role, and then attacking the existing alpha in a way that ridicules him publicly in front of the tribe, while maintaining your own calm alpha demeanour. This puts him on the defensive, and the other members of the tribe will be subconsciously questioning their loyalty – just as if another alpha walked into the room. Then immediately assume the alpha role during the ensuing power vacuum and follow quickly by performing the leader duties for the tribe. Warning – this is a very advanced technique which is going to fail and harm you irreparably in the tribe if you don't show all the other characteristics of alpha behaviour (e.g. you're just faking it) as you will lose the battle for social proof and the old alpha will be reinstated. You will definitely lose your teacher's pet role and may also be banished from the tribe should you fail. Some alphas may also become quite violent if their power is threatened. Always remember that challenging an alpha male in some species and even some human tribes can result in death. You don't want to even consider this without careful

31 planning and preparation. It is much better to take over a particular tribe by creating your own new cool tribe and assimilating the competition. Most of the time you can simply ignore an intruding alpha male. Don't be rude or impolite, just carry on as if he is irrelevant. The social proof ritual amongst overlapping tribes tends to become a hierarchy, so even the term “alpha male” is vague because it is within a particular tribe or social context. Females in this case will tend to notice every alpha male as they watch alpha power exchanges take place, but will be more attracted to those which show that they have higher status by possessing the ability and social proof to quietly take over adjoining or overlapping tribes (without a fight). The males with the widest influence have more power, and hence more value as sexual partners. Outside of the “range” of direct body language communication, social proof is expressed verbally amongst different tribes. You will already know this means of social proof expression by the name “reputation”. A person's reputation spreads their social proof far and wide. It is also a key element in building trust, which is also a key element in building sexual

32 attraction. A reputation of leadership and respect to others has positive long term consequences with their sexual desirability – and this reputation of desirability can spread virally amongst large groups of people. Negative reputations can also spread to other tribes, and dminish one's social proof before they ever approach a particular tribe. Be aware of this.

Female Sexual Strategy I'm not going to go too much in depth on understanding the mating strategy of human males, because I assume the reader already has a pretty good idea of how they determine sexual attraction. Men are very simple creatures sexually. We can probably say for the record that they generally seek out the prettiest girl they can find, and then hit on her relentlessly until she either succumbs to their charm or blows him off completely. They will do this for every pretty girl they meet, until they succeed at having sex. If they succeed at any point along the way (for instance if the girl gives them a smile at some stage or mentions that she's not seeing anybody), they will stick to her like glue, worship her as a goddess, declare their undying love, ask her out to expensive restaurants, and offer to buy her stuff.

33 Unfortunately this hardly ever achieves the desired results. We'll get to that later. The point to remember is that males generally are motivated to seek and place high value on physical beauty (genetic superiority) . That is, they are primarily seeking somebody that rates high on the ten scale. A woman's resources, intelligence, and social status are often considered but their effect on sexual desirability is often negligible. They may affect whether or not a guy thinks about sticking around after he shags her, but his immediate and primary goal is to have sex with her. Period. Low status beta males who have been shut out from sexual opportunity will often ignore beauty and take anything they can get, which often isn't very much because of a combination of their low status and by their resulting desperation – which becomes obvious in their body language. Their resulting actions and behaviours are coloured by these factors and this becomes a vicious circle that can spiral out of control and reduce mating opportunities even further. I know this scientific and anthropological stuff is probably boring you to death, but bear with me. I promise it's going to get more interesting.

34 The female mating strategy is a bit more complicated. Evolution has saddled her with several conflicts which need to be resolved somehow. The first conflict is that sex is physically enjoyable to humans – both male and female. Contrary to what some of you may have come to believe after failing at the dating scene for months or years at a time, women really, really enjoy having sex. Their bodies contain what is possibly the only physical organ known in the animal kingdom for which the sole purpose is to provide pleasurable feelings – the clitoris. But having sex can come at quite a price for a woman. She can get pregnant, which requires a long term commitment of her time and resources. She can also have the negative social stigma of being called a slut, which affects her social rank with other females and as a consequence might limit her opportunities within the tribe. It can also affect her ability to mate with choosy males as it (slightly) reduces her apparent value. So she is going to be very careful of expressing the fact that deep inside she wants to have sex just as much as you do – maybe more. Don't think for a minute that the fact that she has many more sexual pleasure nerves than you do is purely statistical or meaningless.

35 The second conflict is about genetics. Put quite simply, her brain is looking for the best genetic qualities of all the males she encounters, so that her offspring have extraordinary good looks and ability, which will give an edge to future generations in their success at mating. But there's a problem. The best looking males are highly sought by other women, and those males know it – because women will jump in the sack with them any time, any place; and without any strings attached. They will cheat on their husband of ten years for a shot at getting this genetic material for their offspring. You probably aren't that guy or you'd be in sexual bliss right now and wouldn't be reading this. Anyway, the important thing is that these guys aren't the kind of guys that are going to stick around and raise kids. They're going to be out screwing every woman they can, every chance they get – because it's so easy for them to do so. Wouldn't you? The problem is that this isn't exactly conducive to raising children for a couple of decades. So women are also programmed to seek out long term husbands, providers, protectors. This is where the alpha male comes in. He's the best situated to provide for a family over the

36 long haul. He possesses stability, leadership, and has access to more resources than the rest of the tribe. So how does a woman resolve this conflict? Only rarely is the alpha male also the most genetically endowed. I'm glad you asked... In fact she is hard-wired to be attracted to genetically superior males (e.g. those that are ten on the ten scale) during ovulation, and at all other times to seek the protector or alpha male. This provides the best of both worlds. She gets the best genes from the genetically superior dude in a short term fling, and then the provider steps in to raise the kids as part of a long term strategy. (He doesn't ever know for certain who the real father is.) Clever huh? Remember, this is hard-wired behaviour. She can make other conscious choices, but beneath the surface this is how her brain is programmed to work. DNA testing has revealed that in many urban areas, the married father is not related to “his” kids up to 20% of the time – and he is none the wiser. This also helps explain why it is so difficult to talk most women into a quick fling. Her fling mode is to get the best genetic material. The rest of the time she's looking for a long-term

37 provider. If you want to have a quick fling with her, you usually need to be a solid ten on the ten scale. There are limited exceptions. One possible exception is if she is on vacation alone; far from home, and either uses birth control or is outside the ovulation window. This removes both the fear of pregnancy and damage to her reputation, and she might just let her hair down and have a romp with a strange man who doesn't conform to either her short-term or long-term mating strategy. Another exception is that she might use a “casual romance” to inflict feelings of jealousy on a former lover. Be careful in this situation because in order for him to feel jealousy, she has to parade you in front of him – and she still has strong feelings about this person. This puts you right in the centre of a very emotional charged situation. There's one other way to bypass her entire genetic reproduction programming and get her to have sex. Maybe you know the old Cindi Lauper song “Girls Just Wanna' Have Fun”. Women talk. Women who know a man that has rocked them to their core can't help but tell their girlfriends. Somebody who is a master of sexual technique that can bring them to climax over

38 and over and over (and over) again. It's such a rare occurrence that it's like he's a super being and she wants everybody to know that she's in sexual bliss - from having her pleasure circuits overloaded. Every girl wants a piece of that – and they'll go out of their way to get it. This referral has to be made by a woman, as every guy is going to claim that he can do this. Most can't. (I'll tell you how a bit later.) The protector is sometimes a special case in the female long-term mating strategy. Those females that feel especially vulnerable or have suffered heavy emotional/physical abuse in the past will often seek out physical strength and the ability to intimidate other males as the primary criterion for choosing a mate. Should you approach one of these women but not possess the requisite body strength and protection ability that she seeks, your chances of having sex with her are slim.

Cleverness Throughout human history, many women have also succumbed occasionally to the clever male who did not otherwise fit into her overall mating strategy. This is a bit of a game of

39 chance but worthy of mention. On the surface it would seem that she has been tricked, and either failed to catch or ignored the subterfuge. But in evolutionary terms, biology favours traits that will lead to ease of obtaining sex for the next generation. Social power and its associated status and safety, a stable home environment, genetic superiority – all of these make it easier for your kids to grow up intact and have sex more often. But also is the ability to use their brain and mental abilities to obtain sex, and perhaps this ability can be inherited. Many of the more popular internet seduction techniques are based on cleverness as the primary means to an end. The ability to exploit this trait requires a very intelligent person who ignores the rules. A bit of a rebel that's very smart and usually very funny. The fact that people tend to like a person who makes them laugh a lot is often used in this case as an exploit to bypass many of her traditional defences - and quickly build both trust and attraction. Subtle manipulation is then used to close the deal.

The Sex Scale Whereas men are ideally looking for somebody who is eight or above on the ten scale, women's primary interest in the

40 ten scale is only to seek out a solid ten. Nothing else will do. That's her genetic squeeze. However; to rate alpha males for desirability as long-term partners, she needs to use a different rating method than one which is based solely on physical beauty. She also needs to consider their social status and power. We'll call this the social scale. Those at the top are influential leaders - those at the bottom, shy and insecure. Then there is also the cleverness credit which may play a role in her evaluation. She needs to consider all three influences - the ten scale , the social scale, and the cleverness credit. Her rating of a male as potential sex partner therefore is based on a combination of these three rankings. This is her sex scale. As both the ten scale and social scale are relatively equal weighted to most females, we can use a a simple average of the two to come up with a sex scale value. The cleverness credit is a special case of all or nothing. If the male is extremely clever and novel at convincing her to have sex, it provides him essentially a free pass; much like a free pass to a movie. Otherwise, it is irrelevant and his sex scale value will remain the primary means of evaluating his sexual attractiveness.

41 By “extremely clever” we mean that the approach was effective in creating instant feelings of attraction and also highly original. Therefore it can't easily be scripted (though that has never stopped people from trying to come up with a magic line or foolproof pick-up technique/formula). Due to the power that the cleverness credit holds, it draws lots of men to give it a try – including the not-so-clever and unoriginal. However, if such a technique is ever found to be essentially foolproof, it achieves legendary status and quickly makes the rounds; becomes widely known, and consequently loses its effectiveness rapidly thereafter. Men use a sex scale as well, but it is calibrated a bit differently and is mostly biased towards the ten scale. A woman's high ranking on the social scale might affect her overall rating by one point at most. If she's rated eight on the ten scale, but rich or smart or socially adept - she might get bumped up to a nine on the sex scale. If she's really shy she might get bumped down to a seven. A woman's cleverness is rarely considered to be relevant to sexual attraction. We can easily describe women who are over eight on the sex scale - which we'll call alpha females. Their features are

42 highly symmetrical, they have a waist-to-hip ratio of approximately 0.7, they have a medium build, and they are of child-bearing age. They have medium sized breasts (neither too large nor too small, though larger is more popular than smaller). Add or subtract one from the ten scale rating based on whether her social scale rating is above or below the mid-point (five) to ascertain her rating on the sex scale. If the result is eight or above, she's an alpha female. Now let's examine the process for rating men for their sexual desirability. Once again, we first take the ten scale rank. Also just like we saw for rating females, symmetrical features win over everything else. But for men, body shape is evaluated a bit differently. Broad shoulders tapering down to a slim waist in a V shape is desirable. A shoulder-to-waist ratio of 1.6 is ideal, combined with a waist-to-hip ratio of approximately 0.8. Taller is better. Next rate them on the social scale for overall charisma and power. Those that have leadership ability and a wide circle of friends/associates will rate at the top. Shyness and insecurity will come in at the bottom. Now take the ten scale rating and the social scale rating – and average them to produce a rating on the

43 sex scale. A rating of eight or above is highly sought by women. We will ignore the cleverness credit for the rest of this discussion – it is more of a free pass to have sex which we will discuss in detail elsewhere. What happens if your rating is less than ideal on the sex scale? What are your options? Fortunately, there's a bit more to it than just getting top placement. Those that are eight or above are usually secure in the fact that they are desirable as sex partners by most people of the opposite sex. They can get laid with very little effort. So can the extremely clever - though the requirement for consistent originality and brilliance makes it less reliable. But we also tend to seek out those who rate approximately the same as we do, and in fact the vast majority of sexual activity in humans takes place between people who are roughly compatible on the sex scale. The reason for this is due to our social value system (which affects our social scale rating, and therefore our sex scale rating). While we always value those who rate higher than ourselves, their value will be diminished by hooking up with somebody of lesser value. This is known as the Beauty and the Beast Syndrome. If a woman who is a ten hooks up with a man that is a one (extreme

44 example); her apparent value will be lowered. The social perception is that since she is willing to mate with somebody inferior to herself, there must be something wrong with her – which wasn't obvious. There has to be a reason that somebody violated the laws of mating behaviour and mated with somebody that's so different to themselves that they're seen as being a completely different species. The man (the beast in this case) gets an instant boost in his sex scale rating. He's a one and yet he won over a ten for crying out loud. He's good. He must have some hidden attribute we didn't know about. Maybe he's really good in bed. Maybe he was very clever. There has to be a reason. Since mating with somebody of a different value than ourselves comes at a cost to one of the partners, and nobody wants to pursue somebody who is lower on the sex scale than themselves, mutually satisfying relationships tend to be amongst equals. However, and this is important – we are seen as attractive to anybody who rates equal to or lower than us on the sex scale. Those that are lower see us as a prize catch. There are several important messages here: – Even though the deck may be stacked against you

45 genetically or socially, everybody will encounter sexual opportunity. Everybody. – The first preference of both genders is to mate with the most genetically perfect being they are able (ten on the ten scale), followed immediately by those at the higher end (eight or above) of the gender specific sex scale. – We are seen as desirable to those that are either lower than or equal to our own rating on the sex scale. – The most opportunities for sex occur with partners who are roughly equal on the sex scale. – Wide imbalances in value between partners will result in reduced value for the higher ranking member. If you are seeking a higher value partner, this factor may weigh negatively on the other person's appraisal of you as a potential mate. – While males are almost universally seeking genetic superiority (good looks) in a female and placing very little emphasis on social status, the female strategy also allows for consideration of social rank and

46 cleverness to play major roles in her evaluation of potential sex partners. This is good news. These present the primary opportunities for males that weren't born genetically perfect to change their circumstances.

The Female Selection Process Now let's get back to that thing about the female being the one who decides on which person to mate with. And recall that most males are going to hit on every attractive female they meet. This causes problems for an attractive female. They have lots of choices. They are getting hit on relentlessly, often hundreds of times a day, by hundreds of men. Have a look around. If you see a pretty girl, there's a good chance that there's a guy lurking about nearby trying to make small talk and/or hit on her. In an office setting, you can see guys come and go to her desk all day long – all taking their chances, pretending to chit-chat while attempting to build rapport and make their moves. If an attractive woman publishes her photo on a social internet site, she can be literally overwhelmed with email from guys wanting to be her friend. How is she supposed to

47 make a choice given all the available possibilities? The female brain has evolved a solution for that problem as well. It's called the ”test”. This is where she finds out if you're a man or a wimp. Wimps need not apply. Males of obviously low status are most often simply ignored – as there are far too many of them for her to respond to and reject individually. A handful of potential suitors will get past this initial “ignore” filter and make it to the test. The first part of the test is the initial body language screening I alluded to earlier. This puts men into mental buckets of sexually desirable, interesting, possible friend, and loser/jerk. The vast majority of men that pursue her will never be seen as sexually desirable and get past this point – doomed to the “friend zone” (or worse) for eternity. The next thing she is going to do is to challenge the male in various ways to reinforce the category she has chosen, and to weed out those that were possibly manipulative and managed to give off signals which put them into the wrong category. The test is usually designed to pick out those who seem confident and aggressive initially, but then turn out to be beta males who are merely imitating alpha male behaviour in order to have sex.

48 Most of the time, she's really looking for an alpha male, except for the couple of days a month when the hot hunk with the perfect body [e.g. the genetically superior male] can sway her attention. He won't usually be tested thoroughly because physical genetic traits are difficult to counterfeit. The extremely clever male who uses cleverness as his sole approach will be tested brutally to see how well his cleverness holds up under pressure. The test itself is usually a series of questions or scenarios, or subtle clues she's thrown out to see if you picked them up. A popular example is “How many women have you slept with/dated?” If your answer is too low, she believes that you're a male of low status and will decide that you aren't worth her time. If it's too high, she'll think you're just a “player” and not worth her emotional risk. You are tasked with diffusing this question (possibly by lying) to make it appear that you are highly experienced but not easy. This is merely a variation of the cliché “Does this dress make me look fat?” You have to answer, you may even have to lie (but she'll know it) - so the best you can do is answer with dignity and grace and hope for the best. For the “how many” test, If you're over 25, the best answer

49 is that you've had somewhere between 5 and 8 relationships. Leave it at that. Don't mention anything that lasted less than six months. If you're a virgin, quickly ask how many guys she's slept with – and only say that she's slept with more people than you, while smiling. Hopefully this will diffuse the subject. There are hundreds of test questions/scenarios and I can't give you all the answers. You might be asked if you've ever had a threesome or think her sister is cute, or what you think of saving baby whales or even how much you drink. She might ask if you actually remembered her name which she told you just minutes ago. She might ask about your favourite dish-washing detergent, just to find out if you've ever taken full responsibility for washing dishes. She might ask who provided your last haircut, to determine if it was professionally cut or if you did it in a mirror to save money. Often only she knows the “right” answers that are going to save your ass. You can only guess and pray. She is going to try and throw you a complete surprise to see how you react under pressure, and also to try and weed out anybody that reminds her of some male that let her down in the past. The correct answer is usually one which emphasises that you are stable and mature

50 and don't try to shag every girl you meet; and also that you are a high status male and she is lucky to be talking to you, as you have plenty of other opportunities. Just stay calm and do the best you can. If it was easy, any guy could say a few words and have sex with her. You need to prove you're the man that deserves her above all the others. Begging, pleading, getting flustered or upset, licking your lips, or starting to unzip your trousers generally means you've failed the test. Now here's another fact that you need to know about the female brain. Unlike the male brain which is deeply rooted in logic, the female brain is rooted in feelings and emotions. Not everything a woman does will seem logical. I know some of you will say that nothing a woman does is logical, and you're probably not far from the truth. But let's look at this from the viewpoint of attraction. For a woman to be attracted to a particular man, she needs to feel a deep connection to him. This is an emotional response. If she doesn't feel it, nothing is going to happen, and there's nothing a male can do to change it. You can buy her flowers, you can buy her a new car, you can pledge your eternal love for her, but you

51 aren't going to have sex with her. Period. You're trying to appeal to her sense of logic, (thinking she'll choose you as a good provider), but this simply isn't how her brain works. Now that I've segued into buying flowers, let's talk about what turns women off. Remember that most of the time they are looking for the powerful male, the confident leader, the alpha male. How does an alpha male act around women? It's pretty simple. The alpha male is being pursued even more than the hot dude with the perfect genes, because he's the guy who's going to stick around and raise the kids. The alpha male does not chase women. He doesn't need to – as he is surrounded by sexual opportunities. Got it? Any guy who buys flowers, buys dinner, pledges his eternal love, etc. on or before the first date is clearly not an alpha male. (Buy her dinner or flowers to reward her behaviour - after you've had sex.) This is the “standard” dating process that most men have relied on for about the last hundred years, and it doesn't work. The standard dating process usually only results in mating when the female is either low status herself and cannot attract an alpha male to mate with, or she has been rejected by the alpha males

52 in her life (perhaps due to psychological damage, excessive nagging, etc.) and succumbs to desperation. The approval-seeking behaviours of the “standard” dating process are definitive signals that this is a beta (low status) male, and this person will either end up as just a friend or a loser to any woman of value (e.g. one that is able to mate with alpha males). Losers go into the loser “bucket” and are dismissed outright. Women occasionally keep friends around because they know that these men will keep buying them stuff, sometimes for years - hoping for sex in return. They're usually nice guys and all, and the girls are usually polite and nice to them, but they just don't make the girl feel attraction. Sound familiar? The problem is that they can keep buying stuff until all their credit cards are maxed out, but they aren't going to get laid. They aren't on the “sexually interesting” list. Who can say no to somebody buying them stuff? I wouldn't. Would you? No matter how nice they are, women feel nothing but disdain for these guys because they feel the men are trying to buy sex. Women who trade sex for money are called “whores”. It is not a term that any woman wears as a badge of honour and she will go out of her way to eliminate the perception that her body and/or affections

53 can be bought. So they take the gifts and never reciprocate – although they might offer a smile or wink on occasion to keep the cash cow flowing. But make no mistake about it, “just a friend” means that you aren't fuckable. Here's another reason not to shower her with gifts... By trying to sell yourself to her, and giving her stuff to convince her to accept – you are in essence paying her to buy into your goods (or perhaps services if you prefer). The result of this act is that your overall value is perceived as less than zero. If I was to sell you something, and tell you that not only don't you have to pay anything for it, but I'll pay you to take it would you? No way! The first thing you would think is that if this thing is so shoddy that I have to pay people to take it, it's less than worthless – likely to be nothing but trouble, and you'll ultimately have to pay somebody else to get rid of it. Women are consummate shoppers and understand this concept clearly. Let's figure out what factors (besides your skill or lack of it) might prevent you from getting the girl. These are the top universal “blockers” which could completely prevent a relationship from developing. 1. If she feels insecure about her looks or body – which isn't

54 your fault but her insecurity could spoil your chances. 2. If she does not trust you or believe that you will stick around after sex 3. Fear of pregnancy and/or disease You can address all of these concerns – and if they become issues you will need to. First, never comment negatively about her body if you ever want to have sex with her. You can comment negatively about her fashion or her choice of friends or most anything else – even her haircut is open to ridicule, but her body is always sexy. If it isn't - you shouldn't be trying to have sex with her. If you have no desire to stick around after you shag her, if she's just a one night stand in your eyes - tell her so. Be honest. She may not want to play, but at least if she does she'll know the rules. People may not always agree with brutal honesty, but they always respect it. You might in fact be surprised at her reaction. She might be relieved that you aren't interested in a long-term relationship and all the life complications and misery that might involve. Always be prepared to wear a condom to alleviate the

55 pregnancy and disease concern. She may wish to feel you “skinto-skin” and damn the torpedoes - but if you aren't prepared, the only thing you're going to feel tonight is your hand spanking the monkey. Another thing that is going to land a male in the loser bucket is if he is not paying attention at all to her body language and approaches with the intent of mating before she has indicated her selection of him as a potential mate, or if her appraisal was negative and he failed to notice (or interpret correctly) her obvious signals that quite clearly he is not, and will never be the chosen one. An alpha male will know instinctively how to interpret these signals and will be watching for them. What else will the alpha male do to signal his leadership and superiority? I'm glad you asked. There is a huge behaviour difference between dominant males and subservient males. The first and foremost trait exhibited by the powerful male is self confidence, followed by self-esteem, and both of these contribute to self-worth. A bit of humour and teasing are quite common and have been mentioned by women as very desirable traits in their partners. Several popular seduction guides are based primarily on making the girl

56 laugh - and although there is much more to it than that, you can't go wrong by knowing how to tickle their funny bone. The alpha will never plead or beg – and in fact will act as if he could care less if a woman has sex with him. It's no big deal, as he knows that even if he doesn't have sex with her, there are many other opportunities open for him to explore. All of these traits are visible by the way they carry themselves – their body language. A dominant male will also usually have resources (e.g. money, power, status) and these will show in his appearance, grooming, and style. This is not to say that he adorns himself with obscene amounts of bling – which is a beta trait; but he may tend to dress in clothes or surround himself with adornments that are beyond the reach of your typical discount shopper. A common criticism of women in general is that they tend to say one thing and do the exact opposite. Are they all pathological liars? No – you just have to go back and remember how they think. This is the result of that emotional mindset, again based on feelings. What women say is a result of their internal dialogue which is coming from the logical part of the brain. It is interesting, but

57 totally irrelevant to their actions. What they do ultimately shows how they feel, and therefore how they feel is the only thing that is important, because it is guiding their actions. She might tell you that she hates chocolate ice cream, at the same time she's eating a bucket of it. In fact she might actually hate it, but eating it gives her a good feeling – and so she will continue to eat it no matter what her logical brain says. In her brain there is no conflict. Just because a course of action might be logical doesn't mean that it will control her behaviour. Always watch her actions if you want to know how she truly feels. She says she prefers sensitive men, but then has sex with guys that behave more like wild animals - all ego and power. Sure, it's logical for her to like sensitive men. It makes perfect sense. But wild men affect her feelings. That's what kicks the attraction trigger, and when she wants sex, she doesn't give one hoot about logic - she's looking for the guy that affects her feelings. One more factor which many men overlook in their dealings with women is that the hunter-gatherer lifestyle also embedded a deep level of female camaraderie into her genetic make-up. The women stayed back at “camp” together while the

58 men went off hunting; mostly alone or in small packs. This carries through to the present. Women's relationship with their female peers is much more important than their relationship with the current male in her life. Keep this in mind whenever you think of merging a woman's life with your own – and even if your intent is just to do this for a short time. How you relate to her friends may be just as important as how you relate to her. Without their approval, she will be hesitant to bring you into her life. You can also make use of these friends of hers. Remember - women talk. She might be the woman you're dating, but they are her network. Use it to your advantage. Think viral marketing. If you're the best guy she's ever known (and you soon will be), she is going to blab to all her friends. They in turn will blab to all of their friends. Soon you will be legendary and women far and wide will know about you and be curious to meet you. For this reason you must guard your reputation zealously. If you come across to a woman as a complete jerk – this news will also spread virally throughout her network.

Programming The Mind The human brain can be programmed or re-programmed

59 just like a computer can be programmed - if it isn't performing in the desired manner and achieving the desired results. It can also be hacked into and manipulated. The process is a bit different than with computers. You've been programming your brain all your life, though you might just call it learning. The best way to learn something is to think about it over and over again – or for mechanical skills, to do them over and over again. Through repetition your mind becomes trained to recall or perform the pattern. The brain actually grows new neural connections and thought pathways. This is how you learned multiplication tables or how to play a musical instrument. To re-program the brain is only slightly more complicated. You still need to learn the new pattern, but you also need to replace or remove the old pattern which you don't desire to repeat any more. You can start by simply repeating to yourself that the new method is better and you don't need to do the old one any more. For long standing patterns, behaviours, addictions, etc. it sometimes helps to use more advanced mind programming techniques, such as hypnosis, meditation, and NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming).

60 The first two work by relaxing your conscious mind before repeating the desired outcome, as your conscious mind often gets in the way and throws up obstacles to doing something differently than you've done before. NLP is a bit harder to pin down, but in the manner we're discussing basically uses your imagination to create vivid imagery in order to perform the desired task. An example of this would be to imagine your old behaviour (which you are trying to re-program) being written/drawn on an imaginary sheet of paper. Feel the emotions of that behaviour and also attach them to the imaginary paper. The colours, the smells, the feelings, the entire experience. On another imaginary sheet of paper, write down or draw the new (desired) behaviour and imagine all of the emotions or feelings associated with it. Now inside your mind, wad up the old paper and throw it away, while replacing it with the new one – which is now in front of you. If you imagine this repeatedly, you will achieve the desired outcome. Perhaps the most well known NLP technique is called anchoring, in which some action is made to happen as a person recalls/relives a strong emotional situation. When the anchor is

61 repeated, it can trigger the feeling or emotional state to which it was anchored. This is the reason that certain smells or certain songs can bring back vivid memories of past emotional events. They are anchors for those events – though anchors can take many forms and involve any of the senses. The term “Neuro Linguistic Programming” actually predates the use of creative imagery and in fact refers to a process of using language or speech (linguistics) to affect neurons – which is also the basis for hypnosis. It refers to the fact that human neurons (and in fact the entire mind and body) generally respond to spoken commands, whether spoken internally or externally. Read that again and let it soak in. We'll come back to it. All of these programming techniques can be practised at home, and you are quite capable of performing them. If you feel this would be helpful in your personal growth, have a look on the internet for meditation or hypnosis CD's/MP3's, or NLP scripts relevant to the specific goal that you are trying to achieve. There are thousands of these. Some are free. The better ones require payment, but the price is usually reasonable and they are often worth every penny. Whatever approach you take, repeat it over

62 and over until the new behaviour becomes second nature. Hacking another person's brain is primarily a process of manipulation which we'll get to shortly. Its effectiveness is increased when the person is in a state of enhanced awareness or reduced conscious activity. These states can be activated by a technique called mirroring, or they may be the result of hypnotic techniques. Watching television can also put you into a hypnotic state, as can the use of chemicals (drugs) to deliberately alter your conscious state. Whatever you've been told that you can never hypnotise a person to do something against their will is complete bunk and rubbish. You certainly can – though I don't advise using it to obtain sex. People who excel at this are sometimes called cult leaders and usually become socially ostracised from society at large and/or get into legal trouble. Memories and imagination are your visual tools for changing your brain. Memories are the “movies” that we play inside our brains to remind us of the past. Imagination is the process of creating movies that don't yet exist. At centre stage is the movie we call “real life” or the present. These movies can involve all of our senses and become roadmaps for how you want

63 your life to be. Our dreams are related to these maps in subtle ways. Our brain maps out its internal connections to match them. Think of it as a giant movie screen and you are the lead actor. This is your movie. Elsewhere in this book I will occasionally refer to these movies as either frames or maps. These all refer to the same concept. I personally like to envision frames as a series of vertically stacked movie screens on a spinning carousel - extending from the past, through the present, and into the future (or imaginary world). You are free to envision them any way you wish. By thinking of them in this manner, I have direct access to any of the underlying movies and can use them in my daily life. Need to be a confident bad boy? (We'll get to the details of being that person later.) Just pull up that movie and step into it. Or you might decide that the “corporate leader movie” is the frame that best fits a particular situation. You can even play them both at once! (Think Richard Branson for an idea of what this person might be like.) Do you have a picture in your mind of your ideal mate? Most of us do. You have used your memories plus your imagination to draw a picture in your mind of the perfect partner. We tend to look at the world around us and see things that fit into

64 our world maps, and focus on them or things which fit the same general patterns. The closer that something matches our internal maps, the more attention we pay to it. The more we focus on it. Things which don't fit into any of our internal maps we don't care about and often ignore. Every day you are comparing the outside world to your internal movies/maps/frames and using the result of that comparison to guide your actions. Be aware of this. Look at your world map or frames with a critical eye and decide if they embody how you wish to live your life. Using NLP techniques, you can change these to something else if you find that they are out of date or otherwise not suitable roadmaps for your changing life. You can write your own movie of your perfect, ideal future life - and then just step into it.

Influencing People One of the most useful sociological skills you will need to know about and become adept at is the power of persuasion or influence. Again we need to find out what makes people tick to understand how it all works. There is a wealth of information available to understand how this works because it is nothing less than salesmanship. Check out your local library.

65 In order to sell something to somebody you need to follow a basic process which hasn't changed in thousands of years. You must first 1) identify a need or motivational force within your potential customer. Then you must 2) convince them that what you have is the best solution to their need, and the best value amongst competing solutions. Along the way you must also 3) convince them that you are to be trusted. If you've ever attended any form of sales training, you will know that you are never selling products. You are selling solutions to perceived needs and desires. You are selling fantasies, dreams, and ambitions. It's the answer to the question “What's in it for me?”. A strong influencer or salesman is always able to answer that question, and frame or link it in a personal way to the individual needs and desires of his/her “customer”. In the case of human sexual interactions, keep in mind that what most women are ultimately looking for is a dreamy romance fairy tale – the mythical knight in shining armour on a white horse coming to save them from the dragons and witches of the world. This is the fantasy. They usually aren't looking explicitly to get bonked. If they find their Prince Charming, they'll gladly surrender their “virtue” to him and bonk him until the cows come home.

66 Always be listening to the people around you as you interact with them. In their conversations, they will emphasise and repeat certain key elements time and time again. These are their motivations, needs, and desires – the things that are important to them. These are their world maps. Once you have built their trust, these are the things that you need to tie your solutions to in order to influence, motivate, and/or seduce them. Building trust is a biggie. We'll cover that later. Another way of influencing the behaviour of others is to use basic NLP theory and take advantage of the fact that the human brain responds to external commands. This is considered manipulation if the action performed is contrary to the natural volition of the person. The primary requirement for an external command to succeed is that the person receiving it must be in a submissive relationship to the (more dominant) person giving it. Free will may come into play and some rebellious personalities will refuse to play along, but the process is pretty easy. If I tell you to raise your arm, you'll raise it - merely because I told you so. If you don't, you will feel compelled to explain to me why you are not raising your arm. You're probably saying to yourself that this could never

67 work, because you don't know me. Correct. But let's try again. Your boss tells you to raise your arm. A policeman tells you to raise your arm. A man with a gun tells you to raise your arm. This might be considered coercion since their power is maintained through job security or threat of violent force, but the basic principle holds. The threat is often only implied. Rather, these people are dominant and you are submissive to them. You will instinctively do what you're told. Don't be alarmed, everybody does. Society is built on people obeying those in power. Now let's bring it closer to home. Your doctor tells you to raise your arm. The pretty girl at the supermarket that you'd love to ask out for a date tells you to raise your arm. Do you raise it? In fact your arm raises itself often without conscious oversight, if the other person is dominant in this particular role. Resistance to “authority” will make most people feel uncomfortable and people do not like to be feel uncomfortable. Subconsciously and instinctively, their brain will process the muscle movements to raise their arm.

Manipulation The dark side of persuasion is known as manipulation.

68 Manipulation means that you are essentially tricking or otherwise making somebody do something that they probably wouldn't have done of their own volition. I really don't care how you feel personally about using manipulation on people. The simple truth is, they are using it on you all the time. Do you ever feel outrage over some political circus that makes the nightly news? Do you ever buy a specific brand or product at the store? Have you been buying stuff for some pretty girl for years and never getting laid? [I rest my case.] Even should you choose not to submit to the dark side, you really need to know how the process works. People get others to do stuff for them or think a particular way by making them feel like they belong. People want to feel like they belong – it's a basic human need. They will do almost anything to achieve it. There's one other piece of the puzzle. If the person is already in a power position, or already is confident that they belong, you need to take them down a notch. Make them feel as if they don't belong. Then allow them to reconcile that and belong again by doing something for you. We can turn all of this into a basic formula. “You aren't cool enough to be in my tribe. But if you do 'x' , you'll be a lot cooler

69 and I might allow you to be in my tribe.” Back in the early days of the internet there was an internet newsgroup called alt.seduction.fast where pick-up artists converged in order to share information and master their skills. One of the most common techniques which came out of this body of work is known as the neg or negative compliment. This was used on girls that were nine or ten on the ten scale in order to take them down a notch. Do you see what's going on here? They are simply being manipulated. Nines and tens are generally overly confident. These girls know that guys like them and want to have sex with them. The neg instantly counteracts that confidence. One tells the girl that her dress looks frumpy, or that she has something stuck in her teeth. Anything that is different from the guys who walk up every day and say “You're so beautiful! Want to go out?” The neg says, “You're not cool enough to be in my tribe”. The end result is that the tables are turned. Instead of you (the guy) not being cool enough to be in her tribe and having to work for her approval, she now has to climb back from social disgrace and will be seeking approval from you. In terms of power balance, you now have the power – you are dominant.

70 She is in the beta role and seeking your approval. Without the neg, you would be seeking approval from her because she has what you want (her body) and is in the power position because of her beauty. Once the person has been knocked down, tell them what it is you want and allow them to belong again if they do it. In the case of the ten we just negged, it can be as easy as saying “Let's go out for coffee.”. By doing what you want, which is to go out with you, she can regain her status as a cool person again. The most concise and effective form of manipulation for sex is almost legendary. The whole process has been condensed to three words... “Fuck me – BITCH!” and which made the rounds of black America during the mid 20th century. . In this case legendary means it's now so well known as to be mostly useless. It's bound to backfire on females with high self esteem or high social rank due to its lack of social refinement, but might still be effective in a few “low-rent” neighbourhoods. This is how the basic manipulation process works. Several of the most popular internet seduction courses today use variations on this theme. They range from the very subtle, and under the radar - to extreme manipulation. Many of the subtle

71 programs are quite effective, though of course this is quickly making them legendary. The basic format is to tease her, make fun of her, withhold your approval (in a humorous way which keeps it light). Then smile, and turn the tables and allow her to perhaps be cool enough to join your very cool tribe. You often have to quickly build her up again (perhaps by throwing out a real compliment) or she'll soon grow tired of getting kicked around. Keep breaking her down and building her back up again and soon she will be going overboard to seek your approval. She'll be very confused (which is an emotion that feels a lot like love) and you'll be the dominant male she seeks approval from - and of course you know what the dominant male does now. He takes the lead in the mechanics of mating. Unfortunately many practitioners of the “cocky” methods have spent so much time perfecting sarcasm and “busting” on women that many women have come to regard them as total assholes. Manipulation as a sexual strategy is being practised routinely in nightclubs in most of the larger cities and has created a thriving online business for those who believe they can reduce sexual attraction to a step-by-step formula. Thus its effectiveness has begun to wane as more women become aware of the

72 techniques being used on them. In fact the men who have the highest success at “pick-up” are those who don't use manipulation at all, but instead fully understand the process of attraction and adapt it to their unique circumstances. Some of the more advanced manipulative techniques were discovered by computer hackers working in conjunction with mind control practitioners and make use of various aspects of NLP or hypnosis to quickly force the person into a submissive role and “guide” the person's behaviour towards the desired outcome. This is sometimes called “street hypnosis” or “covert hypnosis”, where a hypnotic induction or trance state is induced during a normal conversation and then hypnotic suggestions made once the mind's critical mechanisms have been bypassed. By talking in a deliberately slow pace using a relaxed tone and cadence, along with the use of mirroring to reflect or induce a trance state, and building up long patterns of thought using associative words (such as “and”, “as”, “because”, and “with”) one can stream hypnotic suggestions directly into the subconscious mind of another person. An alternate approach is to develop a strong dominant/submissive relationship using either manipulation or

73 coercion, and then simply command the person to obey. Extreme manipulation is sometimes called brainwashing and can get you into a lot of trouble. I do not recommend this technique at all in sexual situations because it is often considered a form of rape and really fucks up peoples' brains. Also - those who practise it for sex are unable to completely hide their insecurity and this appears as incongruities in their body language. Save it for taking over leaders of other tribes that you wish to command. The basic method is to anchor an action to an extreme emotional state of the victim (I insist on using the word victim in this case). Otherwise it is a variant of basic manipulation. I will not discuss the complete specifics because some of you will try to abuse this and it is really nasty stuff. Typically one would anchor an emotionally happy state (something that previously brought this person love and happiness) to the desired outcome. Anchor a very strong emotionally disturbing state to any negative response. Then trigger the anchors in those situations. Cult leaders have used this to make a person feel exactly as they did when their favourite puppy just died (for example) for

74 doing anything contrary to the leader's wishes. That's as much as I'm going to tell you. A clever person will be able to figure it out given that description and a little homework. If you aren't that clever just leave it alone. The effectiveness of extreme manipulation is enhanced dramatically by repetition and through the use of heightened awareness (hypnotic) states. If you aren't practised or studied in any of the manipulation techniques and wish to add them to your repertoire, practise first on throwaway friends or people that don't matter to you at all. Spend some time getting good at knocking people down and letting them do stuff for you to build themselves up again. Until you get comfortable with it you're likely to make a few mistakes and you probably don't want to lose any good friends should they discover they're intentionally being manipulated.

Mirror, Mirror Huge portions of the brain are devoted to performing an action called mirroring. We use this constantly in social situations. We've already seen it in use during the social proof ritual where people watch what is going on around them, and then do the

75 same thing in order to express their approval of a particular alpha male as their leader. It is how we build rapport with people. Relationships are in turn based on a foundation of rapport. It is subtle, but very powerful and extremely simple. If you like or respect somebody, you tend to do the same things that they do. Some call this an expression of empathy or “putting yourself in another's shoes”. People sub-consciously synchronise their actions and moods with one another and emulate/copy each other all the time. If you are sitting across from a girl that really likes you – and you scratch your nose, she will instinctively reach up and scratch her nose in unison. If you cross your arms, she will cross hers. If you lean forward or backward, so will she. But it goes far beyond actions. We also mirror emotions and feelings with those around us. Humans have used this since the cave dwelling days to silently spread fear or alarm of approaching danger through their tribe. Some religions and cults use this to spread joy and/or hypnotic states. Entertainers can make an entire audience feel happiness and excitement by merely being happy and excited. Love and sexual tension are not just feelings you experience in isolation. These are much like

76 hypnotic states which are mirrored in the other person. It has also been proven in studies that women in large workplaces will synchronise with one another to the point that even their menstrual cycles will begin to coincide. Any time you experience a feeling or perform an action and somebody around you is in a basic state of rapport with you, they will tend to do the same thing and share the feelings you are projecting. This is extremely powerful knowledge when considered in a seduction context. If you're looking into each other's eyes and you're feeling really, really horny – guess what? So is she. Face to face emotional mirroring between potential mating partners can become very intense for precisely this reason. Now there could be a thousand roadblocks in both of your brains which may prevent either or both of you from acting on it, and she may not be horny for you, but rest assured that if she's mirroring you in other ways, she's also starting to become very hot and bothered.

Supply and Demand One more thing I want you to keep in the back of your mind as we go forward is the mechanics of setting prices in the marketplace. We call this the law of supply and demand – and

77 follows a simple rule. If something is widely sought, or is otherwise scarce, the price goes up. If either the demand falls, or the supply increases, the price drops. When I'm talking about mating value, I'm really referring to your sexual price tag. Are you a low price commodity item that nobody wants, or an extremely rare, highly sought luxury? This ultimately affects your social ranking - which ultimately defines how you rate on the sex scale. The dynamics of the marketplace always decides the ultimate price of something, but where you can influence the outcome is by defining and/or having some control over the perceived value of the goods or services. Over the last several centuries, women have done an excellent job of positioning the perceived value of intimate access to their bodies. Think about it. Unfettered sexual access is worth diamonds, the most sought after gem on the planet. Millions of men have paid this price. Some have gotten their money's worth – most didn't. But that's irrelevant because the point of this is only the perceived value of the product, not the product itself. It's a vagina. There are billions of them. Men actually don't need them. It's merely a pleasure toy for them. Or perhaps more accurately,

78 they don't need the same one over and over. Women need men (or at least access to their sperm) in order to reproduce. They also need a long term protector and provider to help ensure their offspring survive. Women have done this amazing bit of manipulation to the marketplace through a series of techniques they have developed naturally in order to seduce and cause desire – and get men to willingly bring them diamonds, and do all manner of other things to please them – including suppressing their natural urges to have sex with as many women as possible. It's amazing that access to a vagina (which you don't really need) can come at such a price. It's almost unbelievable – but that's what has happened. But you can turn the tables. Men are the partners with the ultimate power. We will be exploring many of these techniques which women have used to manipulate us and learn how to use them in reverse. You now need to be aware of your power and fully embrace it. You are the partner she needs, not the other way around. She needs your sperm, and she also needs somebody to stick around and support the kids. She needs the presence of a

79 logical being that can stay in control and keep her grounded when her emotions are swinging wildly and leading her to do things she has no control over. You are that man. You have the ultimate power. You don't need her vagina. You can walk away and find another at any time. You have value and she will do anything and pay any price for the pleasure of being near you and keeping you around. Don't ever forget it. The funny thing is that when you adopt this frame of mind, it just so happens that this is what she really wants in a man and she will be attracted to you and will value you above other men – even though she knows countless men that will bring her diamonds. This frame of mind and belief in self worth is precisely what distinguishes an alpha male from the rest of the pack. He knows that he has power. He knows that he has value. Now it's time to become that man.

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Part II Let's Get To Work

In the first part of this book we went through the

81 evolutionary and human environment under which you must operate successfully to achieve your goals. Now it's time for action. Let's get started. Seduction begins in the brain. More specifically, it begins in your brain. The very first, most important thing you need to do right now is to forget about having sex. Why? Because the more you think about and obsess about it, the more it will elude you. You'll just have to trust me that by thinking about it less, you'll end up getting more. I know it doesn't make any sense, but this isn't about making sense. This is about how to turn your life around - and coincidentally have a lot more sex. The only time you should think about having sex is when there is a pretty girl right in front of you gazing into your eyes and breathing heavy. Now, by “not thinking” about it, I'm not telling you to put it out of your mind forever. You can and should set a personal goal of having more sex, and you should think about this goal regularly. You should also be constantly aware of how you are being perceived by others on a sexual level and have a sexual will or persona. You should feel sexy at all times. You also need to exude sexual confidence and sexuality from every pore of your being.

82 But this is a lot different than thinking about and prowling for sex. If you walk up to a pretty girl and can't stop thinking about how badly you want to see her naked, it's unlikely that you'll ever get her clothes off. You will quickly slip into approval-seeking behaviour and everything that you try in order to get her to respond will backfire - as it puts her in the dominant role. This is because she has something you want. Sex. One of the other very first mistakes that most men make is to stare at a girl's tits. Yes, I know they can be very pleasant to look at. Don't do this if you ever want to fondle them. You should be able to discern her general shape before you ever get close to her and decide if you find this shape to be pleasant. Once you're within a few meters/yards they're off limits – at least until she is ready to show them to you. Her mind is programmed to quickly discriminate and eliminate any male who has just one thing on his mind, because that indicates he isn't getting enough – and the only reason why he wouldn't be getting enough is if he isn't a powerful, dominant, and charismatic male. It is her evolutionary programming that is at work here and it may not seem logical, but it doesn't matter. She sees red

83 warning flags when you're thinking about sex, because she can read your intentions. If she's comfortable being around you, and if she's thinking about sex (with you), then it's sexy and it's OK. At any other time, you're just another loser hitting on her and her instinct says to get rid of you quickly. She isn't going to do this with respect or even give it a second thought. She probably gets hit on by over a hundred losers a day, and has been systematically getting rid of them since she reached puberty. So don't take it personally - it's just a programmed response. Once you've conversed and interacted a bit, you can show that you are a man with all of the testosterone and sexual desires which that entails - and that you have noticed that she is a woman. You still can't stare at her tits, but you also need to start putting the moves on and declare your intentions or she will get bored. Remember, the male is the dominant partner and needs to instigate the mating process. The skill is knowing when to make this transition. It comes when you notice clear and incontrovertible trust as well as obvious attraction signals. In the absence of either one of these, any sexual overtures by you

84 are going to be ignored and most likely close the door to future possibilities. The only thing you can do before getting these clear trust and attraction signals is to flirt. Flirting as we're talking about here is non-sexual. It's really no more than being friendly and open, perhaps a bit playful. If the situation warrants, it may involve the use of touch, but this is always non-threatening and non-sexual in nature. Western culture does its best to keep sex under the table and hidden from view in normal daily life (which paradoxically has turned it into a media obsession). If you are a well known media personality, you can ignore this advice and can get away with being openly sexual at all times. For everybody else, it simply isn't socially acceptable to be openly obsessed with sex and violating these social rules will detract from your rank on the social scale and therefore lower your value on the sex scale. If you diligently practise and learn the skills in this book, there will be a time in the not-so-distant future when you have conquered approval-seeking behaviour and developed solid unshakeable confidence and a “rock-star” attitude. You'll know you have it if you can tell a supermodel in a bikini to go away and

85 stop hitting on you. When you have reached this point, you are free to once again think about sex - all you want. You can even look at her tits. You will have become a man of power who makes his own rules and does what he pleases. Until that time, set it aside.

Pay Attention In order to help take your mind off of her lovely body, we'll flow right into the next thing on our action list. Every woman, and in fact every person you encounter - is talking to you. They are telling you what they want, what they don't want – what they like and what they dislike. Our bodies are always communicating. Start paying attention to what the people around you are saying with their bodies. As you build sexual relationships you can take this to entirely new levels and provide physical pleasures that most people only dream of. Become aware of every touch, every glance. Quietly take stock of social proof rituals. Watch what goes on around you with a new set of eyes. Let people inform you how you fit into the present situation. As you grow comfortable reading them, you will instinctively learn how and when to mirror them and how to project your own growing power into the silent conversation which surrounds you.

86 When you are interacting with a woman for the first time, be extra observant – so that you can establish her baseline body language patterns. It is easier for you to notice that attraction is building later on if you have some historical context with which to compare. Some women are naturally flirtatious – with everybody. Men who don't read this correctly later come off as complete idiots. Compare her “signals” to you with the signals that she gives other people (especially men) that are in close proximity. If you have established her natural flirtatious quality as a baseline behaviour, you won't get tricked into thinking that she is treating you special and giving you “strong signals” – when she's actually not. One word of caution – use a steady gaze as you are paying attention. There is a lot going on in a busy venue, and it does not serve your best interests to have “darting eyes”. We'll cover that a bit later. Just concentrate on those closest to you – take in what they are doing and how they are positioned. Slowly sweep your eyes to the next person and take in what they are telling you. Keep your focus above chest level, but de-focus your eyes just a bit so that you can take in a bigger picture.

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Who Are You? The next thing you must do as an action plan is to clearly define who you are, and identify your strengths and weaknesses. This will guide you going forward. I'm not asking your name. That isn't what I mean by who you are. I want you to write down on a piece of paper everything you consider is a strength in your personal being, followed by a list of everything you see is a weakness or flaw in your character or person. Don't just visualise them in your head. Get a pen/pencil and paper and write them down. Be brutally honest. Nobody else needs to read this. If you lie or sugar coat the answers, you are only deceiving yourself. For instance, what is your genetic and social ranking (e.g. where are you on the sex scale)? If you are genetically superior, women will be practically begging you to have sex (at least a few days every month) with no strings attached. Otherwise, we'll assume you are somewhat less than genetically perfect. Are you shy? Do you have bushy eyebrows? Do you smoke? Do you have a particular talent which other people find exceptional or at least seem to take an interest in? Are you smart? Are you funny? Are you obese? Are you the boss in your place of work? No?

88 Whatever. Write it down. You can probably figure out your ten scale (genetic) rank easily enough. It's exactly the same as the ten scale that men use for rating women. Social rank is similar but is more a measure or how people react when you enter a room. If you are essentially invisible to everybody else, your social value is one. If people flock to be around you, you're a ten. Ascertain where you fit in that spectrum. Don't worry if it's on the low end, we're going to change all that. But we can't figure out where you're going and how to get there unless we know where you are. Your initial sex scale rank is simply the average of your genetic and social ratings. If you're holding onto painful memories of your early reproductive years and associated failures, or issues you had with your parents - you need to get rid of them. Interacting intimately with women is going to require all the emotional abilities you can muster. Any psychological damage from days gone by is going to just get in your way. It's gone. It's done. Let it go. On another piece of paper, write down each of those emotional hot buttons. Go through each one and say “good-bye” to it. Now wad up that piece of paper and dump it in the rubbish.

89 You're done with it. All your hot buttons are in the trash with it. Experience the release of positive energy resulting from being free of these torments. If you are still living with your parents and are over the age of 18, it is time to start breaking away. No woman is going to try and compete with your mother on her own turf. She longs for closeness to a man; not a man-boy and especially not a boy. Now over the next several chapters, I'm going to tell you how to be a man that is desirable. If you already have what it takes in a particular area, great. Otherwise you're going to need to make some changes. I don't want to hear this nonsense about “it's too hard to change”. The consequence is that you will continue to live your life exactly the way it is now. Are you completely happy? Are you getting what you want right now? If a gorgeous girl walked up and slid her hand down your pants and fondled your crown jewels and then told you that she only has sex with vegetarians; you'd stop eating meat right this second, wouldn't you? So it really isn't too hard to change, is it?

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Confidence The number one skill you will need to have in order to seduce women or deal with people in general is confidence. This is the cornerstone of seduction. If you're terrified to walk up to somebody (anybody), look them in the eye and tell them what you wish to tell them or find out more about them, you've lost the game before you've even started. What is confidence and how do you get it? It is simply performing an action without having any fear of the outcome. That's all it is. Confidence doesn't actually grow on its own. Just get rid of the fear and confidence is what remains after the fear is gone. What causes this fear? You're often terrified of how somebody will react to you. You're afraid they'll make fun of you. You're afraid the girl will turn you down if you ask her out. Forget about it. Real fear is the fear that an aeroplane is going to fall from the sky and smack you in the head, killing you instantly. If that happened, would you know it? (No, you'd be dead.) If a girl turns you down for a date, what horrible circumstance is going to happen to you? Absolutely nothing. Try it

91 and see. The absolute worst thing that could possibly happen is that she'll make fun of you in public. However in practise this is rare, and so what? You aren't going to die as a result. Everybody will respect you if you walk up to a pretty girl and give it a go. Even if you crash and burn, anybody who witnesses the event is still going to think you were absolutely awesome because you had the balls to try it – and they didn't. So this is the absolute worst case – and humiliation will do nothing but great things for your reputation. You'll be a legend. Another thing that you should know about fear is that it isn't real. It doesn't exist in the physical world around you. It is the product of your imagination, which is trying to invent a possible scenario for the future based on something that happened to you in the past. In fact you don't yet know what will happen in the future. Most likely the future you fear will never happen. The way to conquer it is to come back to the present. Look around. Is your life being threatened by imminent doom at this very moment? No. If it was, you would be either fighting for your life or running to escape. So whenever you feel fear, do a reality check. Are you

92 OK at this moment? Come back from your imaginary fear-ridden future frame/movie. It isn't real. It doesn't exist. Why is fear such a big problem? I'll tell you. You might think you're just an “I'm just a bit shy – aw shucks...” kind of guy and think that she'll see this as an honest yet humble approach. You couldn't be further from the truth. First of all it isn't invisible – it's written all over your body. She can see it in your eyes. She can smell the fear chemicals oozing from your pores. She knows the second you come in close proximity that you are terrified of her. Not a very good first impression... And then you get hit with a double whammy. The second you approach, if she likes you at all – she will begin to mirror you; subconsciously, without even thinking about it. So her very first reaction will be to become terrified; just like you. In fact you've probably had this happen over time and this could be one of the long term causes of your lack of confidence and/or self-esteem, because you have probably seen this look of terror on the faces of women you've met and assumed that it was you that terrified them. The cruel irony is that it was - but not for the reasons you were probably thinking. Most women are flattered when a man approaches

93 because it increases their own status and self-esteem. They're often friendly and will at least make polite conversation as long as you aren't a complete jerk/loser or show fear. This doesn't mean that you will always be successful and take her home with you. She may have a jealous husband or boyfriend lurking around the corner. She might have a health condition. She might have just gone through a traumatic breakup of a long relationship and isn't emotionally ready to try again. But you won't know until you step up to the plate and go for it. If it isn't the right woman and the right time, you haven't lost anything. Just let her go and don't think twice about it. There will be more opportunities. There are millions of women of every size, shape, and description that are out there looking for a person just like you. Really. In fact letting her go shows that you are confident and aren't clingy, and she may find that attractive and seek you out in the future. Also, try and forget her succulent breasts for a minute and that what you really want is to see her naked on your bed within the next 30 minutes. You don't even know the girl. Take five or ten minutes and get to know her a little bit. Then if you still like her and see that she still likes you, getting to sex will be a lot easier. You also may find out something that sets off warning bells

94 in your own head and changes your mind. She might start talking about how aliens took over the tri-lateral commission and use their telepathic communication with spiders to infiltrate our brains. (This is an actual example from a girl I once met that was otherwise a solid ten). If you appear in any way to be obviously wanting to have sex with her within the first 30 seconds, she will know that you're a) desperate, and b) a loser. She has already read your body language like a book. She knows you find her attractive. Keep your cool. This is all part of the test. The first classical mistake that most men make in their approach is what we call approval-seeking behaviour, because it tends to permeate their actions and magnifies their insecurities. Everything they do, everything they say - is geared towards making the woman like them; so that they can comfortably initiate physical contact. Instead - go into any encounter with any woman having this unshakeable confidence that you are not concerned with the outcome. In fact you don't want her to like you. That's how you get into the “just a friend” zone. You want her to be attracted to you. There is a very subtle distinction. Paradoxically she is much more likely to be attracted to you if you are completely indifferent as to whether or not she likes you.

95 If your confidence is slow to develop or your insecurities deep rooted, it can sometimes help to pretend. Use your imagination and act like you're super confident. Do you think that the guys who play the role of James Bond were all super confident babe magnets before they learned that role? Watch a few James Bond films and then pretend you're 007. Remember that your brain is programmed by repetition. Walk with a swagger and the security of knowing that all the girls want to sleep with you – every chance you get, every where you go. It won't be long and you will be living the role (but try to remember that you don't have a license to kill). Acting in this manner will help you to become more confident, but don't expect women to suddenly flock to you with bedroom eyes. They may be intrigued by your sudden confident appearance, but until you have it mastered and actually feel in complete control, your body language will still be giving off subtle clues that you are merely acting. I also highly recommend the self-hypnosis book/CD “Instant Confidence” by Paul McKenna (available through Amazon.com) if you have confidence issues.

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Break Obsessions Quite often men put all their eggs in one basket. They decide that there's one girl for them. Nobody else will do. If you've been chasing the same girl for more than a year, and are convinced that someday the two of you are going to be blissfully involved with each other, but you've never been on an intimate date, and she always seems to be busy when you ask her out to lunch, you are obsessed. Trust me, I've been there - done that. It isn't fun. You can chase her for ten years and nothing is going to change. You are just wasting your time and energy on a losing situation. You may think inside your head that you are being confident, just because you are absolutely confident that you can get her to love you in return. But you aren't confident, and your obsession is a clear indicator of just how insecure you really are. You have put all your hope into this one outcome. It's got to be this girl. You will win her over, eventually. Nobody else will ever be able to be the one for you. Poppycock and rubbish. It isn't going to happen. You're

97 delusional. Confidence is not being attached or concerned with the outcome. Let her go. This will free your mind to concentrate on women that you actually might be able to seduce. Instead you just wasted a year, five years, ten years of your life in complete frustration over somebody who felt no deep attraction for you, and probably decided that she never wanted to have sex with you the very first second you met. She's probably slept with 2, 3, maybe 10 other guys while you've been chasing her. You're hoping for just one night; and that she'll see how good you are, and how compatible you both are and live happily ever after. But you never made it onto her short list of guys that she calls when she's feeling horny. That's a warning sign you obviously weren't paying attention to. She rarely faces you directly and doesn't mirror your actions. Warning sign number two. She's always got something important happening when you ask her out. Three strikes – you're out. You're very unlikely to change this situation – ever. And I don't care who she is – there is always a more beautiful, more friendly, more compatible woman that you'll meet. However - you aren't going to meet her or even recognise that she may indeed be the soul-mate you've been looking for, until you let your

98 obsession go. if you refuse to part with your obsession without one last ditch effort, I'm sympathetic. Doubtful, but sympathetic. Anyway here's what you do... The problem is that she has never felt physical attraction for you. You're just a friend – if that. You need to break her out of that mindset and make her think of you in a sexual way. Walk up boldly and kiss her – on the lips, without flinching. (This is very basic - find out all about ratcheting up sexual tension, creating attraction loops, and how to give her a mind-blowing first kiss later in this book.) Then walk away. You can use other attraction loop techniques as well. Try hard not to see her again for at least a day or two. The next time you see her, if she responds favourably and is smiling, you may still be in the game. Otherwise, you're out. She's so used to treating you as an unfuckable male that she can't even imagine you any other way. Your relationship will never be the same as it was (pathetic as it may have been). You're done. Forget about her and move on. You only have one remotely slim chance left – but to do that you really do need to let her go. Your absolute last chance is to be seen by her in amorous situations with other women. If she

99 has any feelings of attraction for you at all, she will feel jealousy and may decide that she now needs to compete for your attention (which she will, vigorously, if she has feelings for you). If she doesn't, you are well and truly out - game over. But at this point it shouldn't matter because you're too busy having fun with other women. I also want you to think about this feeling of desire that you felt towards this person – and why you felt it. Most likely this person has flaws. Everybody does. If you think objectively about it, you'll remember that she isn't perfect. You overlooked a few things because you were blinded by desire. And why were you under the control of this desire spell? Because you wanted her but couldn't have her. It seemed like she really liked you, but she never established rapport and avoided situations which would allow you intimate access into her life. This made her more desirable in your eyes. You pursued her with increased vigour to try and turn the tables in your favour. And everything you tried (and failed with) increased your desire, until it felt that she had infected your mind and she was the most desirable woman on the planet. Think about what I've just described. This is the key to

100 seduction. She had you in an attraction loop, whether it was intentional or not. Learn this well and use this in your own life. Show some attraction/interest, but withhold complete rapport and intimacy – and it will increase desire, to the point where somebody will become obsessed with you.

Respect and Esteem A common situation which arises between women and men who lack self-esteem is that women treat these guys like shit. The men not only do nothing to stop it, they often encourage it by coming back for more (hoping of course that if they're a nice guy and don't complain too much that eventually they'll get laid). Self-esteem is having respect for yourself. The woman in this case does not respect you. Why should she? You apparently don't respect yourself. You let her walk all over you, yet you smile or encourage her to do it even more. I've watched women in bars make a game out of this to humiliate men and get a laugh out of it with their girlfriends. Whenever a woman treats you with less than basic respect, you need to call her on it right then and there and tell her point blank that this is unacceptable. Only by respecting yourself

101 enough to demand it of others will you get it. This is self-esteem. Once you allow somebody to publicly humiliate you, they will keep doing so. The end result is a broken man. In my grade school we called such a man “pussywhipped”. This results in the man displaying wimp or wussy behaviour, which women do not find attractive or flattering. They are often treating you poorly just to make you go away – and they can't understand why you didn't take the hint. This does nothing for your social status and can sink you right to the bottom of the sex scale. If you've been a doormat or emotional tampon for a woman over a long period of time and she will not listen to your demand for respect (she may refuse to believe that you've suddenly acquired self-esteem), you may need to remove her from your close circle of friends. Unless you have the persistence to call her on it each and every occurrence, her continued pattern of unchecked humiliation will signal to other women that you are not worthy of respect. You may have self-esteem issues which are the result of other factors. Low self-esteem has a cure and it often isn't difficult. Self-esteem is a combination of confidence and a feeling of “well being”. We've discussed how to be confident already. The

102 feeling of well being is likewise the result of a collection of things that are inhibiting it, rather than something you can “grow” on its own. Take a close introspective look and figure out what it is that is making you feel psychologically “not well”, or “not perfect” or “not whole”. Each of these things has a cause. It may take some time – and may even require professional assistance, but take each one, examine its cause and figure out how to remove the cause or neutralise it from affecting you in this way. Self hypnosis programs can often work wonders on esteem issues, but first you need to figure out what it is that is triggering the negative feelings in order to know what hypnosis materials or programs will be effective against it.

Dominate The overall effect of male confidence and self-esteem is that males who carry themselves with these attitudes become naturally dominant (over time) over those who do not possess them. Men who lack confidence and self-esteem are naturally submissive in most activities and social situations, and will always subconsciously defer in the presence of a more powerful male – even if he isn't the alpha male of their tribe.

103 The net result is that you will move up the pecking order in your tribe and have at least a limited ability to direct the actions of others (tell them what to do). You will also differentiate yourself in the eyes of women from the weak and timid wimps, which make up a majority of the male population. These women will begin to see you as a dominant being – which means only one thing to a woman – a man. This has a biological impact on her. Her brain is already processing you as a potential contender.

Relax The operative keyword in any interaction, and indeed for how you live your life, is to just relax. Don't worry about what may or may not happen, or when it happens. Nervousness and fear shows in your body language, and will make those around you nervous and frightened about being with you. You've probably heard that a dog can sense fear and will react to it in certain ways (by being more aggressive). Then you shouldn't find it a big surprise that everybody can sense fear and they also react in certain ways (by either avoiding you or by exploiting the situation and intimidating you). Your body produces a fear odour and they can literally smell it.

104 Whenever you are concerned with the outcome of a particular situation, you are laying the groundwork for fear and stress – that things may not turn out the way you desire. If you are in a potentially romantic situation and are overly concerned with the outcome (whether or not she will like you, sleep with you, etc.), you will tend to escalate your stress level whenever anything goes slightly wrong during the encounter. It often happens during the “test”, where she is probing your reactions to various situations. If you react by feeling more stressed, it most always drives the woman away as she mirrors you and likewise becomes stressed. When humans are in a state of stress their instinctive reactions are to either fight or flee. By releasing yourself from responsibility or concern over the outcome, you release yourself from these negative states. I wish to focus your attention on the fact that her tendency to get stressed over the encounter and quickly flee is a direct result of your emotions. You can turn all of this around by emotionally being in control of the situation while letting go of any personal stake in the outcome. You will get everything you desire in good time. Be the person that is perfectly calm and collected and appears to be in control even when crises are spinning like tornadoes all around

105 you. Others will soon flock to you in time of crisis because they will want to mirror your calmness, rather than mirroring the general panic of everybody else. They won't know exactly why they are drawn to you, except that being around you makes them feel good. This is exactly the same explanation that people give when asked how somebody falls in love. Ponder that thought for a moment.

Imagine Success One of the fastest ways for a person who has a long history of failure with women and/or relationships to change their “luck” is to simply imagine being successful. Assume you have already succeeded. You would be amazed at the difference this minor change in perception makes in your life. It actually goes much deeper than this. If you cannot “picture” yourself as being successful in an endeavour, then even if you succeed at it, your mind will be at odds with your situation and will struggle to change it and reverse your gains. Your mind can be your worst enemy if you allow it to sabotage your successes. You may have experienced this directly or in friendships with others. A person might say “I don't deserve such

106 a beautiful girlfriend”. Visit that same person a year later and you will usually find that they no longer have a beautiful girlfriend. A person winning the lottery that doesn't “deserve to be wealthy” will soon be poor again. The power of imagining success isn't just about holding on to successes - it also helps to achieve them in the first place. This is a mind programming technique – and is based on selfhypnosis and NLP. Remember those mental frames? We all have images inside us of our desired life or desired set of circumstances - and as we go through life we match up opportunities we encounter to that internal pattern. Those that fit we hold on to. Those that don't, we let go of. If you have an internal picture of yourself as a professional tuba player - you probably aren't going to find yourself studying violin any time soon. It doesn't map directly to your ideal image. If your frame instead encompasses an accomplished musician, you could become either a violinist or a tuba player – because they both match your internal picture. With relationships the same rules apply. You cannot have successful long-term relationships with women if your internal mental image is that of a loner. You have to be able to see

107 yourself with a girlfriend and imagine all the various aspects of being in a relationship - in your mind. Then you will start to map opportunities which arise against this pattern to see if any of them fit and work towards outcomes that make this result happen. Before you ever sleep with a woman, you are best advised to sleep on it and picture your relationship with her from your ideal perspective. She might not fit. But you'll discover something else about this process of imagining success. As you picture successful results, people around you unwittingly become a part of your internal picture. You are less likely to exhibit approval-seeking behaviour in getting a particular girl to “like” you if you already believe that she's crazy about you – because you've experienced a frame where she is crazy about you. You already believe it. This affects your attitude, your body language, your sexual chemistry – everything. You can reflect this “internal map” to her in your own body language. If your subconscious communication with her is telling her that she is crazy about you, she will often begin to mirror this state. Your actions will likewise indicate that it is quite normal in your mind for her and you to be attracted to each other – and it will usually start to happen just as you pictured it. Everything you do is then

108 based on the assumption that she is already crazy about you. You will likely start subtly treating her like your girlfriend, and if this fits her internal picture – she will often accept the role. Note that I said “if this fits her internal picture”. Once you have imagined the relationship with her, you may need to help her envision a picture with you in it. This usually isn't hard. Just be a great guy and she will start building pictures in her mind. Reflect your own picture through your body language and actions and she will start to “see” it. The only time this fails is if she has a more powerful internal image that she won't let go of. You can manipulate her with NLP and hypnosis to destroy that image. Warning: this is extreme manipulation. After you've been together a bit and she's had a chance to “picture” what it would be like with you – ask her to share her image of her ideal guy. Let her for a brief moment live in her dream world. Ask about all the sensations and feelings. What does she see? How does she feel? This will put her into a trance as she describes it. Agree with her and build rapport by fully supporting this vision. Mirror her dream like state. Are you ready for this? It's really nasty. You've actually got her in a deep hypnotic state. Now tell her to close her eyes, take

109 that picture she just described, wad it up in her hand, and burn it or toss it in the rubbish bin – then open her eyes and look at you.

Take Risks One of the distinguishing features of leaders is that they are known to take risks and have no visible fear of trying something different. This doesn't necessarily mean that they are reckless, but they are more likely to step outside their comfort zone regularly and to challenge conventional patterns and ways of doing things. I don't recommend taking up skydiving right after you've finished a bottle of bourbon, but you aren't going to get anywhere with women or in life sitting on the sofa and watching TV – just because you think it's a relatively safe activity. In fact it isn't. You'll probably die young of heart disease or diabetes from lack of activity. You may not wish to put yourself in danger or directly in harm's way, but always open your mind to the possibility that there's another way of doing something which might seem risky but that probably won't lead to injury, doom, or hospitalisation. Innovators are normal people just like you and I, except that they challenge the way something has always been done and try a

110 new and different way of doing it.

Adapt The world around you is constantly changing. The overall rate of disruptive changes is increasing rapidly, and this will bring turmoil into your personal environment unless you learn to recognise when change is imminent and adapt quickly. This will be increasingly important to you as a leader, because other people will be looking to you for leadership. You will have a tribe to take care of. Should you fail in that responsibility, your tribe is going to abandon the sinking ship, and you with it. Be especially watchful for new technologies that might threaten your main income stream. Either attempt to embrace them, or start watching for other income streams. Another form of adaptation is to adapt to the unique personalities of those around you – in order to best take advantage of the skills and resources they may bring to your tribe. For the clever male who wishes to seduce with pure cleverness alone, originality in technique is critical. Canned pickup lines and memorised techniques quickly make the rounds. Millions of desperate men are trying them every day. Learn about

111 the person and adapt your strategy specifically to that person.

Be Competitive Another distinguishing feature of leaders is that they are generally competitive. Even if you were a failure at sports in high school, the world is a tough place where the strong survive, and the winners win. This goes double if you want to get a girl who's a solid ten on the sex scale. If you don't think you'll have any competition for this prize, you've got another thing coming. Every guy with a dick wants a piece of that. Be a winner. To do this, somebody has to be a loser. That's OK. Don't think twice about their feelings. Everybody values a winner (except perhaps the loser). This doesn't mean that you should go out and pick fights or be a bad sport. But if you are doing an activity, think about other people who do or have done this same activity. Can you do it better? At work, if you are part of a professional team, always know who your competition is and not only strive personally to be better than they, but support and encourage your other team members to do likewise. The better they perform, the more status and prestige will be showered on you. If you compete and lose,

112 get back on your feet quickly and try again. Sheer determination may not always win, but every time you compete you will learn something more about your opponent and possibly discover a flaw or weakness you can use to your advantage.

Bad Boys Finish First Throughout your life you have been trained and indoctrinated to be a good boy, a nice guy – probably by women like your mother. You know... that sensitive man thing. This is probably a result of the feminisation of society rather than any innate biological preference for nice guys. It makes you easy to control by females (who are likewise getting more masculine over time). It's doubtful your mother was ever sexually attracted to nice guys, but she would've had a handful by raising you with a more masculine testosterone influenced attitude. Even your dad would've played along because nice guys might tend to have an edge in long term survival – especially during the raucous and risky teen years. The nice guy is generally less competitive, and more “sensitive” and feminine. If you want to be friends with lots of girls, these are probably good traits. But always remember that

113 “just a friend” means you aren't fuckable. It takes attitude to get onto a woman's “sexually interesting” list. Buckets of attitude. You need to be interesting, unconventional, and a bit of a rebel. A bad boy. Look at the guys that consistently make the “Sexiest Man Alive” list in the top women's publications. Are they inherently nice guys or bad boys? [I rest my case.] This isn't a license to break laws or engage in violence. It's a license to break social rules and step far outside your comfort zone. It's the attitude that's important. A nice guy is going to share his feelings and always do the nice thing. A bad boy could give a rat's ass about doing all the nice things. He's on this earth to have pure hedonistic pleasure, and the only feelings he'll express are that either it feels fucking fantastic - or it doesn't. The bad boy should of course know how to behave like a gentleman in public when called upon to do so - or he may be seen as an embarrassment in a woman's long-term mating strategy. But a gentleman is not the same as a nice guy. A gentleman is mostly somebody who knows when and where to keep their mouth shut – and looks good in a tailored suit should the situation require it. You can be both a bad boy and a gentleman at the same time. You cannot however be a bad boy

114 and a nice guy at the same time. The archetypal “bad boy” is the rock star personality. What makes him different than everybody else is primarily his extreme confidence. He isn't concerned about what women think, because there's a line outside his stage room door of women that want to have sex with him. If he goes to a club, women line up to get his autograph, sit with him, or bask in whatever minuscule attention he might bestow on her. Because he is in such high demand – there's little he can do that will make a woman voluntarily walk away, once she is in his inner circle. He can be violent, a druggie, mentally abusive – it doesn't matter. She won't leave because there's always another hot chick waiting in the wings to take her place, and she knows it. So does he. He uses (abuses?) this power of his fame and perhaps wealth as a means of control. If a woman doesn't do exactly what he wants her to, he'll leave her in a heartbeat – and find another hot babe, perhaps by just pointing at her and motioning for her to approach. There are many aspects of the rock star personality which are a bit dysfunctional in social terms, but be aware of his innate

115 confidence and the power it holds. You can emulate this confidence - and will find that women are naturally drawn to it. Repeat to yourself (until you positively believe it) that you are in high demand. Women want to be around you – and you don't care, as long as they bring you sensual gratification. Project this in your attitude. Feel free to experiment with bad behaviour (within legal bounds) as a means of expressing that attitude. I'd avoid crossing the legal line unless you have the resources to bail yourself out of jail and hire a top name lawyer.

Humour If you can make somebody laugh, you can get them to like you. It has been proven that people find it almost impossible to dislike somebody who has made them laugh more than a few times. Look at any woman's personal ad online and you'll see “a sense of humour” as a top requirement time and time again. It's almost as much a cliché as “walks on the beach”. If you're going to charm the undies off of pretty women, you better start making them laugh. Tell a joke. Make fun of what they're wearing. Find something funny about the place you are in and comment on it. If she likes you, she'll laugh – even if it wasn't

116 that funny. She wants to laugh and the more she laughs, the more she's going to notice that she feels something when she is around you. Laughing is a release of tension, the exact same thing you want to do when you get her clothes off. Tension is a feeling. Excitement is a feeling. Attraction is a feeling. Arousal is a feeling. Release of tension through laughing is a feeling that is essentially the same as having an orgasm, though on a smaller scale. These feelings are all very closely related and affect the same areas of the brain. So once you're communicating with her using this language of emotions and feelings, attraction is rarely far behind. You want to create tension in her. You want to build it up. You want to release it. Over and over again. The closer you come to providing her with an endless cycle of tension and release, the harder she is going to fall for you. The best way to become humorous is that you first have to think of yourself as being a funny person. Program yourself to be a funny person using one of the mind programming techniques. Then build up a modest repertoire of one-liners that have made you laugh. Whenever you see something that is amusing, tell somebody about it. Look around you for absurdities in everyday

117 things. For practise, focus on an object near you. Anything. Start thinking of everything that object brings to mind. As you go through these thoughts, make associations and see if you can twist it into something amusing. For example, I'm sitting in front of a computer looking at the mouse. A mouse – why is it called that? Because it's small and looks like it has a tail (at least the older ones). What's a mouse? It's an unpleasant small rodent. Now imagine the millions of information workers that don't think twice about holding a rodent in their hand all day and don't wash their hands afterwards. That's funny. OK it wasn't wildly hilarious, but still amusing. You can do this with anything. Keep up the process of association until something amusing pops out of your brain. This is how funny people think. You can also exaggerate anything that is slightly unusual to make it funnier. If a girl is wearing high heels or platform shoes, they can become stilts – comment that you feel like you have to stand on a chair to reach her nose. Reverse roles. Ask her if she just wants you for your body, or what kind of husband she thinks she'll be. If this is a person you just met, she will be a bit nervous

118 just as you may be. This is natural when we're around new people. There's the tension. Any little absurdity like the examples I've just given will cause her to laugh – even if you don't think they were all that funny. There's the release. What you say almost isn't important in this case, as humorous communication isn't about trying to share information - you're just building and releasing tension (and therefore affecting her feelings). Then you can go back to sharing information. (Although you might wish to start a new tension/release cycle if you're on a roll.) I may have already mentioned that there are several wellknown seduction courses and guides which are based primarily on the concept of humour as the pillar of attraction, intending to exploit the sexual “free pass” which is occasionally granted to the extremely clever male. While you may or may not be successful at this, you should never overlook the importance of instigating a good laugh in your overall social skills. If you can't get a girl to laugh, you're going to have to work a lot harder to make her feel deep levels of attraction. If you can do it easily and regularly, you could end up with a free pass.

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Be FUN If there's one aspect of men that women complain about more than anything else (including lousy sex), it's that a guy is just plain boring. It's a bit of a lack of charisma, but goes further than that. This is especially important if you are trying to mate with a girl that's outside your age bracket (on the low side). If you come across as a boring old fart, does it surprise you at all that you're just not able to ring her attraction bell? Be a bad boy, be different, be unpredictable - but most of all, be exciting and fun to be around. This is mostly a challenge to break free of predictability. Just because you did something one way yesterday doesn't mean you have to do it the same way for the rest of your life. Grab a local newspaper and find things to do around town that you've never considered before. The first thing this will do is give you more things to talk about with others and make you come across as more interesting. It also can get you into a situation where you're meeting new people. Activities that involve action on your part are preferable to activities where you're just sitting sedately watching somebody else. Join a hiking club. Take a bicycle ride to the local park and

120 have your lunch there. Take up ballroom dancing - they'll feel obligated to find you a partner. In social groups, being fun is the process of surrounding yourself with interesting people who are all in positive frames. This will usually pull others into the frame because everybody wants to share in the good time. You've seen this time and time again. There's a group of four or five people that are talking, laughing, enjoying themselves. What does everybody else do? They try and position themselves to become a part of that circle. Everybody gravitates towards the fun.

Mystery Man One of the other key factors to growing attraction in females is to maintain an air of mystery about you. This is critical. Often the presence of a pretty girl turns men into blithering fools. Couple this with the traditional “job interview” style of dating, and it puts all your cards on the table in a very short amount of time. Once she knows everything there is to know, there's no other reason for her to come back for more. Mystery and intrigue is what will keep her coming back. She will want to know more about you. Morsel it out in small

121 doses, and her curiosity to find out even more will drive her crazy. Driving somebody crazy (as long as it isn't psycho) is what you are ultimately after. She will be spending all of her spare time (when she isn't with you) coming up with questions to find out more. This process will consume her. It's a process of unfolding a persons personal layers and similar to unwrapping Christmas presents. Instead of shredding the wrapping paper instantly, take it slow and remove one piece of tape at a time. You want the process of her knowing you to turn into a striptease. Literally. The only difference is that you're starting to slowly peel off layers of the mind long before you get to clothing. You can start by being a bit evasive when you first meet her. Don't answer her questions directly – but beat around the bush. This will leave her hanging on your words until she gets the answer she is looking for. This immediately pulls her into your world and causes her to take closer notice of you. Even if she just asks your name. Instead of “Mick” - I would probably say “It starts with 'M' “. This can grow into a guessing game or a verbal game of hangman if you work it. Either way it is increasing the interaction, and it is increasing her interest in you. She won't

122 leave your side until she knows your name. Later you can add to the drama by piquing her curiosity intentionally and then changing the subject out of the blue. “Want to know what I did yesterday? It was really naughty...”. Whatever she answers, switch to “Oh my, look at that car! How funny!”. See how long it takes before she's practically begging you to tell her what you did yesterday. These are doing subtle things with the underlying social interaction. She is becoming reliant on you. It puts you into the dominant role as you are controlling her access to information. You may not think this is much, but every step you take up the dominant ladder pushes her down - into submission. Especially with alpha females who are used to dominating men, little things like this can change the game completely.

Positivity Nobody likes to be around a constant complainer. Gloom is contagious and spreads like a weed to the people around you. On the other hand, positivity is also contagious, and everybody likes to be around other people that are happy and who spread good feelings. Now remember that we're trying to turn you into

123 somebody that other people want to be around. I think you can figure out what type of person you need to be. Look for positive outcomes. Encourage good things. Only talk about things which evoke positive feelings in public. If you have dark or negative thoughts, let them go. Whatever you do, keep them to yourself and don't spread them.

The Male Display Remember when we mentioned the male display as the first step in the mating ritual? The male display in humans is a combination of several things: – Genetics (you can't change this) – Body language (Are you confident and likeable? Do you carry yourself with authority?) You can change this, but first you must be aware what body signals you are giving off. – Physical cues of your status within the tribe or society, and how you present yourself in public. This is your clothing, your grooming, and your adornments. You can change this!

124 – Other indicators of status. These can often be verbal hints that you drop occasionally to indicate traits for which you have no physical evidence – such as strength, commitment, and the social proof of others. You shouldn't be seen as bragging or making direct claims, but use referential terms like “my friends”, “I'd do anything for her”, etc. in your normal conversation.

We will discuss clothing and grooming shortly. You should already be aware of the influence that your possessions have on your male display. A hot sports car, a big house in the suburbs, even an Italian suit or designer watch can be useful to you if they make you stand out from the pack. But before we get into the specifics of looking presentable, I want to remind you of the purpose of the male display – it is to present yourself for evaluation by women as the male who has the most to offer them as a mate. You probably can't compete with the guy who has a private Lear jet or owns a castle in the Scottish countryside – but in most cases you won't have to because they aren't right here competing with you. And while these trappings of power of wealth can be alluring, these guys

125 might be so far out of her league that she can't compete with the super-models and heiresses who think they're in the running for that prize. But the reason I'm mentioning all of this is to remind you that what you are essentially doing is a peacock strut. You're fishing, and whether or not you get a bite depends mostly on what you're using for bait. Give it your best shot with whatever you've got at the time to put on display. When you walk into a room, you want everybody to take notice. You need to stand out from the crowd. Your walk should be a strut, your talk should be able to be heard. Draw attention – it is what the dominant male does. Even if you don't have material wealth, wearing something slightly out of the ordinary as an adornment can create intrigue and interest. By that I mean to take this peacock business seriously. Wear a big blue feather in your hat. You're a casual person? Fine. Blue jeans and a casual shirt – neatly pressed, with a colourful tie. Something that instantly conveys the message that you are a force to be reckoned with. You're from a really cool tribe, and you're the leader of that tribe. You're a trendsetter. Everybody else that is displaying their wares is boring

126 in comparison – even the guys with the $50,000 watches. This can be so subtle as having a book on jazz theory under your arm (but only if you can discuss it intelligently). It can be a very delicate balancing act, because you need to completely differentiate yourself from every other guy in the room - but not to be so far out there that you differentiate yourself from sane and socially aware human beings.

It's A Numbers Game You can learn all of the pick-up and seduction techniques in the world, and get very good at persuading women that you are the one she should spend the night with tonight. But every woman and situation is different. If you want to sleep with a different person every night for a year, you will need to meet and seduce many more than 365 women. You may need to meet ten times that many, perhaps more - based on your skills, appearance, and what you have to offer. I'm not going to say that you are never going to experience rejection again – you probably will. You will find women that you desire who are either unapproachable or perfectly content in their present relationships. But you can't let it stop you, and you

127 can also minimise the emotional trauma by keeping your emotions out of the picture until you get clear signals to move forward. Keep getting better and keep meeting and talking to interesting women. You will be successful beyond your wildest dreams. But it's still a numbers game. If there is something about you which is turning women off, you are going to have to work a lot harder. Let's say for example that right this moment (on average) 1 out of 100 women have any desire at all to sleep with you. You'll have to meet 100 women in order to have sex with one of them, and that could take you some time. But what if we could eliminate a few negative traits in your behaviour or appearance and boost that number to 5 in 100? You now only have to meet 20. You could do that on a good Friday night, or at least over a weekend. What if we could boost that to 1 in 3? You could find a potential partner the next time you're at the supermarket. Now you see where we're going... setting aside time to meet a hundred women in order to have sex with one of them is going to be a burden. We want to do everything possible to increase your likeability so that more women/people find you interesting and want to know more about you. And as they get to

128 know you, they'll tell others what a great person you are. Before long, their friends will be wanting to meet you. This process feeds on itself, and this my friend is how you beat the numbers game.

Image and Presentation When we started discussing body language, you may recall that a woman will have pretty much decided within a few seconds (some researchers claim it is under a second) whether or not she will ever choose to have sex with you. In this game there's no such thing as a bad hair day. You certainly don't want to miss out on the lady of your dreams because you were wearing plaid shorts and loafers and didn't shower this morning, And trust me, you could meet her tomorrow. You could meet her this afternoon. How you present yourself through body language is the most important thing you need to communicate in those precious few seconds that her brain is analysing you. But close behind that is your public presentation. This part is completely under your control. Together these make up your male display. If you don't look sexy or at least somewhat attractive in her eyes, you're not going to get chosen. It's as simple as that. How

129 you present yourself, be it business or casual, is going to affect the outcome of all your relationships. You don't have to wear a tuxedo to a soccer match, but you should be neat, tidy, and well groomed – no matter the situation. Skip the chequered pants and the bow-tie, unless you're in the circus. If you feel comfortable being stylish, push the envelope and wear interesting and novel attire. You will be more likely to be noticed and have an easier time convincing people that you are a leader (not a follower). Otherwise, strive for neat but comfortable. The worst thing you can do is to wear something that makes you feel contrived or awkward because your discomfort will show. Many dating guides will tell you that looks and style are irrelevant. I will agree – to a point. A man with power and confidence can attract women with his shirt-tail hanging out and without shaving for a day or two; and in fact many ladies will tell you that they find this look quite sexy. The point I wish to make is that your appearance in the first few seconds of contact is absolutely critical to your eventual relationship with a given person. Know what look you are projecting to the world and ensure that it is a look that represents you in a flattering way. Ultimately it isn't what you wear but how you wear it – and this

130 goes back to confidence. Here are some things that a great many men overlook in their personal grooming. These are not optional, they are absolutely essential. Your fingernails (and toenails) need to be trimmed regularly, and must be free of grime. Your hair must be neat, no matter what length you prefer. If you have facial hair, keep it well trimmed. If you have bushy eyebrows, hair growing out of your ears or nose, it needs to be clipped. Period. Why? The percentage of women that will consider dating a man with bushy ears is extremely low, approaching zero. You probably aren't going to be able to seriously date more than 50% of the unattached females you meet for one reason or another, but let's not kill your chances completely. We're trying to build you into a person that has the best odds of success your genetic make-up will allow. Buy some nice leather shoes. Many women will look at your shoes (also your watch) and judge you by what they see. You don't necessarily need to shop on Rodeo Drive, but don't skimp on these accessories. $20 running shoes do not convey social status, nor does a $5 watch. Wear a belt which colour matches the shoes. Polish your shoes regularly.

131 Something that few people will tell you is that you also need to polish the heels of your shoes. You may not be aware, but a majority of women will sneak a glance at the backs of your shoes as you walk away to find out if you skimp on your polish job. I'm not making this up. I've asked them. This provides a clue to your character. Do you do just enough to get by, or do you approach tasks with the goal of doing them thoroughly and completely? This reflects directly on how good they believe you are going to be in bed, so it is in your best interests to get it right. Do you smoke cigarettes? Stop it right now. Don't argue, don't make excuses. Just get rid of them. If you need help, consider nicotine patches or hypnosis programs, but do it. Four out of five women will not kiss a man who smells of cigarettes. Four out of five. That's severely limiting your choices and opportunities. This is one of a class of annoyances which could limit your success, not just with women, but with people in general. Along with smoking (and heavy coffee drinking) usually one will find yellow/brown teeth. Get them whitened. You'll be amazed at the difference in your social interactions. Heavy drug use of any recreational or prescription drug is

132 another annoyance which should be shown the door. Hey, if you enjoy a joint to mellow you out sometimes, I'm not here to rain on your parade. Do what you wish – but realise that you are putting people off, and some of these people that you put off just might be beneficial to you. The goal is to get you to walk into a room and everybody turns and notices you and wants to be around you. For every person that doesn't want to be around you because of some bad behaviour you exhibit, you've lost a potential friend, business associate, or girlfriend, or soul mate – before they even had a chance to know you. If you drink alcohol regularly, these same rules apply. In fact alcohol is worse because a significant number of people came from abusive families, where alcohol fuelled the abusive behaviour. I like a cold beer as much as the next guy, but if you're in public, at least give the illusion that you are acting in moderation. Even if the person you meet didn't come from an abusive environment, they'll want to know for sure what you think of them – and that you aren't under the influence of “beer goggles”. Some people get belligerent and/or violent when they're drunk. If you are one of those people, you are going to face

133 severe difficulties in social interactions over time unless you stop getting drunk. Again, don't argue. There are many programs available. Contact AA, contact your doctor, but get help. Alcohol is used as a social fuel in most of western society and it's difficult to give it up alone. Next let's take a good hard look at the shape of your body, because that's what you want the ladies to do. Do you have a stunning physique, a normal build, or would it best be described as a potato sack? The perfect male body is a V shaped torso with wide shoulders, and a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.8 or 0.9. Taller is better. If you don't have a perfect body, that's OK. But you should be doing something to maintain or improve it. If you are overweight, forget about the fad diets. It's very simple - to lose weight, you have to eat less. To cannibalise existing fat and build muscle tone you need to exercise more. That's all you need to know. If you overeat because it gives you a feeling of well-being, you'll need to figure out why you aren't feeling well to begin with and eliminate the reason. It isn't too hard to figure out. What was on your mind ten seconds before you walked to the fridge or grabbed some feel-good snacks? Why was it on your mind? Is it

134 something you can fix? Fix it. If not, let it go. As you age, your body will start requiring less food to sustain you – and if you keep eating at the rate you did when you were younger you're going to put on a belly. You'll not only live longer, but become better looking - by reducing your overall food intake slightly and swapping the huge steak for some salad and vegetables. In any event, cut down on snacks, eat smaller portions, and find yourself some weights to work with. 10 minutes a day will do wonders over time. 30 minutes a day will do wonders in less time. Figure out where you want to be and how long it will take and don't expect anything to happen overnight. It's OK, you've got time. Women are always on diets and not only understand, they can also tell if you're progressing or not. Progressing will enhance your male display and push you higher up the sex scale. Letting yourself go won't. If you have access to a gym or bicycle, consider carefully the presence of and tightness of your butt, and pay special attention to toning up this muscle. Women notice it big time and talk about and compare men's butts when talking to other

135 women. If you are leaving a room, you won't see it, but all the women's eyes are checking out your rear end. Give them something to fantasise about. Full and round (or flabby) is not sexy to them. Small and tight is where it's at. Regular exercise is not only beneficial to your looks, but it increases the level of testosterone in your body. Testosterone is the chemical which gives you your masculinity. Heightened masculinity is going to work in your favour because that gives off subtle body language cues (both physical and chemical) which increase your attractiveness to women. We can't leave this topic without mentioning symmetry. Look at your face in a mirror. If you have any flaws on your face which make it anything less than completely symmetrical, you may wish to consider cosmetic surgery to correct it. Symmetry is considered attractive. Anything that throws symmetry off balance is going to have a negative effect on how people perceive you. Even if it's something simple like the fact that your hair tends to grow off to one side, you might be best off with a short haircut so that you don't look off balance. I once met a guy (Alan) who had lost an eye in an accident

136 and wore a dark patch over the injured eye socket. Now Alan's really a great guy and girls adore him, but he had real problems dating and getting physical. He went for years without sex. I took him out to a few clubs wearing dark glasses instead of the eye patch. Yes - it made it harder to see at night, but it gave him that critical symmetry. Within three weeks he met his current wife (Lisa). They've now been married for ten years. He is such a great guy that she was quite willing to overlook his flaw, but only because during that critical first encounter, he was symmetrical. It's OK if you have a physical or character flaw which is not correctable. Everybody has flaws. Don't dwell on the flaws – but be aware of them. You can still improve your life by orders of magnitude. The key is to know how you are being perceived by others, and to adjust your expectations and strategies appropriately. This doesn't mean to give up – it means to seek achievable goals. ...Then be pleasantly surprised when you exceed them beyond your wildest dreams.

Get a Life You may notice by now that seducing women isn't really about chasing them. In fact you can stop chasing them right now.

137 It's doubtful it will get you anywhere besides just getting lucky every few years. This is about you. By being the best person you can be, improving your status and your likeability, you are going to attract women. They will come to you. Isn't that a whole lot easier? If you strive to improve yourself in all the areas I've mentioned, you are going to hit women's attraction mechanisms so hard and on so many planes they won't know what came over them. They will want to get to know you. They will want to be around you. A side effect is that other people will tend to want to be around you, not just ladies that you want to have sex with. These people want what you have, which is a friendly, positive, and confident attitude and an ease and grace in social situations (we'll get to that). But this isn't enough. There still may be a missing ingredient in your persona, which will make you a natural leader and increase your social status even further. You need to be interesting. In order to be interesting, you need to raise the level of curiosity of those around you. You should be slightly mysterious, and have a steady repertoire of subjects or things which interest you. You should have goals and ambitions. Getting

138 laid is a goal but we're talking about long term goals here. So grab another piece of paper and let's write down your hobbies and interests. What are you good at? What are you passionate about? Where do you want to be five years from now? Doing what? If your sheet of paper is blank after thirty minutes, you've got some work ahead of you. It's OK. But what we are doing is creating a roadmap for your life. Think about this over the coming days, weeks, months and fill in the blanks as ideas emerge. You will get ideas by talking to other people. Once you've built up your confidence, talking to others will be easier and we will expand your conversational abilities a bit later. You'll find many people have things that they are passionate about and they love to talk about. Often you can just let them talk, but sooner or later it will be your turn and you need something to talk about passionately. But this isn't the only reason for having some defined goals and ambitions. It is one of the key ingredients for attracting people to you and increasing your social circle, and cementing your leadership ability. If you have ambition, you are seen as going somewhere. You are leading the way to get there, wherever it is. Bingo! Most people are not leaders, they are

139 followers. They are looking for somebody to follow, and what better person than a leader with a clear sense of purpose? This is how you become the alpha male of your tribe. Most people need a leader. A tribe can not exist without one. Remember earlier when I talked about influencing people or salesmanship? You have identified a need (the need to have a leader), you have a product/service which fulfils that need (you are a leader). The only thing you need to do to close the sale is to ensure that they trust you as the best person to provide that product/service. If they like you and/or you make them laugh, they will most likely trust you. You might need to step on the toes of another leader in order to steal his crown, but nobody said this was going to be nice. Leaders are naturally competitive. If the existing leader is well entrenched, it might be time to break away and start your own tribe. Let's get back to those interests fro a minute. Look at any interests you managed to write down during our little exercise. Do any of them come across as a bit boring? If so, it helps to come up with a twist to change it into something that's, well – interesting. Let's take an example – stamp collecting. Apologies if

140 you're a stamp collector, but there's really nothing sexy or interesting about this. Women are going to yawn when you tell them about your hobby and quickly find somebody else to talk to. So let's put a twist on it. Collect stamps of left-handed people. Of illegitimate royalty. Of women. Something that instantly sets you apart from the crowd of boring stamp collectors. Now if you go back and tell a woman about your hobby it will be a completely different situation. She'll want to know all about the left-handed people stamps you've collected. She'll probably be surprised when you tell her that Fidel Castro and Buzz Aldrin and Marilyn Monroe were all southpaws and find it fascinating and intriguing that you know these things. I would also like to suggest taking up a musical instrument – or a new one if you are already proficient with another. Extending your mind in some way by extending one of your existing hobbies or learning something entirely new creates new neural pathways in the brain (the study of music is known to create thousands, perhaps millions of new connections). Every time your mind creates new neural paths and branches, it literally creates new ways of thinking about everything. You expand your intellect and even more opportunities and passions may emerge

141 as a result. You may suddenly find a solution to a completely unrelated problem, merely because your brain is looking at everything in new and slightly different ways than it did before.

Your Mating Value Putting all of the above together, what we have attempted to do is to increase the mating value of you as a person significantly, both in appearance (which will improve your rating on the ten scale) and leadership ability (which will improve your rating on the social scale. Putting both together will move you much higher on the sex scale. By making you more desirable, we've moved you out of the pack of worthless men and into a new category of person that is much rarer and highly sought; not just by women but by everybody. The end result is that you should walk a little taller knowing that you have more self-worth than you did before. This realisation alone helps attract customers to your wares. As your mating value and sex scale rating increases, it puts you within range of higher value females, who will now see you as equal value to themselves. For instance, let's say your ten scale rating is six. You're a

142 bit better than OK looking. Your social rating was two before you started this book, very shy, lacking confidence. Your sex scale rating is the average of these, or four. Women's sex scale rating is simply their ten scale rating, give or take one point for social rank. So women that are most compatible with you are those that are around a four. The best you you're likely to get away with is to match your ten scale rank of six, and that will take a lot of work. Now you see why you've had so much trouble hitting on women that are eights and nines. To them, you're not the six that you thought you were (your ten scale rank) – you're a four and they want nothing to do with you. Don't worry, you're not alone. But after a bit of work, let's say we can raise your social ranking to eight - and add one to your ten scale rating because you're now looking just a bit better. Your overall sex scale rating would now be 7.5, which makes you directly compatible with either a seven or eight female. That's a huge improvement over the four you were stuck with earlier. It may not happen overnight, but as you progress, sooner or later you will start to notice more women taking an interest in you and wanting to be around you (and much more attractive than any who did previously). Because we all ultimately want

143 somebody valued higher than ourselves, you would now be seen as attractive to anybody below 7.5, whereas previously you were only considered attractive to those below four. This opens up a huge number of new opportunities. You're not happy being “only” in the top 25%? Don't worry, it gets better... even small changes can have huge effects. Do you know anything about bell curves and normal distribution and standard deviation? Consider that our rating scale is not linear but that most people will tend to be about average or 5 (the mean in statistical terms). Assuming a typical bell curve, a 7.5 rating puts you in the top 3-4% of the population. At first this might be a bit frightening because you're probably not used to it. But soon you will realise that you have lots of interesting choices available to you. You will probably have sex with one or more of them. Good – you deserve it. The more this happens, the more women will suddenly find you attractive because you've lost the desperation signals you were carrying with you previously. It has a cascading effect. As you attract women to you, start noticing and comparing the sex scale ratings of those you interact with. The most compatible mates historically are those that are close to your own

144 rating. Consider this your baseline mate – somebody with a similar value - you're in the same league. Compare others with your ideal (which is to say yourself). Those that fall close to you in terms of sex scale rank are much more obtainable than the highend. They are reasonably easy to attract and can be quite satisfactory as partners for both the short term and the long term. They are much easier to attract than “super-models” (or perfect tens), which we'll call the high-priced partner. You have to work a lot harder for the high-priced partner and your chances of success marginal at best, as they may be hesitant to deviate below their own perceived value. Towards the other end of the scale is the bargain basement - where you can occasionally find good value. Those in this range see you as a prize catch so obtaining sex takes much less effort. You're the high-priced partner that they have to work hard for. The downside is that the lower you go, you cheapen your own self-worth and therefore your own mating value and sex scale rating. But always keep your eyes and ears open because remember - you once lived in the bargain basement and thought

145 you were worthy of attracting alpha females. Remember clearly the frustration of being judged unfairly - and don't be a hypocrite. There will be thousands more women more available to you now than there were before. Look beyond the surface – you might be pleasantly surprised to find an incredible quality woman that's head and shoulders above any you've yet experienced; and she thinks you're awesome. Remember that it's good for you to be the high-priced model from the woman's point of view, because they will work harder to get you. Every step you move up in value, the more women will be willing to invest effort and resources into attracting and being with you. This is how you turn the tables so that you are being actively pursued.

The Law of Attraction When this happens, it's time for another roadmap. You should imagine and define your ideal mate (the so-called soul mate) and attract her into your close circle. What does she look like? What does she act like? What are her personal qualities and passions? It's important that you don't get too specific, such as “a veterinarian named Nancy that drives a BMW”. But you also

146 probably want to be more specific than “a red hot blonde babe with big tits”. If that's all you can think of though – fine. Go with it. Your roadmap can change as you become more selective. The reason for creating this roadmap is known as the “Law of Attraction”, which also works for the previous roadmap of your goals and ambitions. By creating a clear picture in your mind of what you seek, and repeating to yourself that you desire these things/outcomes; given time you will tend to cause those things to manifest themselves. This isn't new age garbage (though there seems to be a huge number of shonky new age books devoted to the subject). It's really just another term for programming your mind which we discussed earlier. Your brain is programmed by repetition and will keep working in the background to bring the things you desire to you. You are merely learning or teaching yourself to do or obtain the thing you desire. You might ask why this didn't work for having sex in the past. The answer is that it probably did, but you didn't know how to play the game and to read the signals - and lost out on the many opportunities which arose. But your brain also didn't give up and it led you to find and read this book to fill in your missing

147 knowledge, so in fact it is still working to bring you sex. The Law of Attraction is very powerful, so use it wisely. It is quite possible to bring sickness or even death upon yourself if you program your brain to seek these outcomes. For instance if you tell yourself repeatedly that mathematics gives you a headache – twenty years from now you may discover that you have migraines when you are confronted with a problem that involves mathematics skills. This is also why you need to dump negativity and STOP RIGHT NOW repeating self-deprecating mantras such as “women don't like me because...” or “I'll never be good at ….”. If you program your brain to fail at something, you most certainly will. If you start to say one of these either out loud or to yourself, immediately catch it and say “CANCEL!” Then replace the thought quickly with something positive. You're good at everything you set your mind to. You're a winner. People like you. Women like you. Repeat these things over and over and the Law of Attraction will bring these results to you.

148

Building Trust The most difficult task ahead of you is to be able to build trust, so we need to define exactly what this is. At its core, trust is allowing another person access to and knowledge of your vulnerabilities, and having some degree of confidence that these vulnerabilities will not be exploited by that person. It probably goes without saying that the act of having sex exposes some of our deepest vulnerabilities. This is where you need to put yourself into the mind of the person you are interacting with and remove their fears. You can't do this until you establish some rapport and make a note of what it is that they fear. Some of these fears can be brought out in conversation. Others only surface when the person takes a step backward and you would have otherwise expected them to move forward. Distrust and fear go hand in hand. If/when this happens, you also need to take a step backward and ask yourself (or them) what it is that brought on the fear response - or just stop doing whatever you just did that provoked a negative reaction. You must be able to address those fears before you can build trust and move forward again.

149 To build trust when it does not already exist, the following guidelines apply: – Don't lie. Be perfectly honest in all you say and ensure that your actions are aligned with what you say. When in doubt, people will always ignore your words and watch your actions, but any incongruity between the two will make you appear less trustworthy. – Be exactly who you say you are. Likewise tell people who you are. A shy, quiet person is seen as less trustworthy because you never really know exactly what they stand for or exactly what they are thinking. – Volunteer information without the person asking for it. The more valuable the information you share, the more self-less and trustworthy you appear to be. – It's generally not a good idea to keep secrets from somebody that you wish to build a trust relationship with. However, in the event that a secret must be kept from somebody - and they discover that you are being less than forthright, let it be known to the other person that this is a secret and you are sworn to uphold it.

150 This isn't so much a gauge of “can you be trusted to tell the truth?”, but “can you be trusted with a deep secret that has been confided to you?” This aspect of trust is most important in sexual encounters. – Be consistent in your actions. There's a fine line here, because consistency can lead to being perceived as a bit boring. Having the ability to surprise people and go out on a limb to try something new is the mark of a great leader. On the other hand, if people don't know exactly what to expect from you, they won't know if they can trust you. Ensure that when you step out of your comfort zone and into uncharted territory that you stay aligned with your purpose and goals. The signal that this sends to others is that even if you can't be trusted to always act in a predictable manner, you can still be trusted to be true to your goals and loyal to your tribe. – Trust and reliability are closely related. If you tell somebody you are going to do something, do it. If for some reason you cannot accomplish it to expectations, communicate this at the earliest possible

151 occasion and explain the reasons. – Although there is no such thing as instant trust, if you desire to establish trust quickly, the best approach is to be genuinely concerned for the welfare of others. Trust tends to break down when somebody is acting in a manner that is advantageous only to themselves. If you are seen to be acting with empathy and show genuine concern for the others, it provides the impression of acting in a less selfish manner, which will often open the doors for a deeper trust relationship to develop. Another mechanism which can be effective in building trust quickly is to point out your own flaws (but be careful not to point out too many). The logic behind this is that telling people your flaws or weaknesses is acting against your own self-interests, which again gives the impression that you are less likely to behave in an entirely selfish manner.

Developing Charisma Elsewhere in this book I talk a lot about a girl “liking” you and “being attracted” to you. I haven't always been consistent

152 with my use of the terms. It's OK for a girl to “like” you, and this is a good starting point from which to build attraction. It's just that you aren't going to find yourself in any sexual situations unless she is attracted to you in a sexual way. If she likes you but doesn't feel any attraction, you will quickly end up in the deadly friend zone. So in the rest of this book I talk about how to build attraction. But let's back up for a minute and figure out a few ways to get other people to like you. People who are generally well liked are said to have charisma. You can develop charisma. Being well liked by others tends to mushroom and helps to bring more people into your inner circle. Some of these people will no doubt be attractive females. Here are a few keys to being likeable and charismatic: 1. A positive self-image. We've covered this already. Surround yourself with positive thoughts. Kill the negativity. 2. Always strive to leave people better off than you found them. By this I mean to be helpful and assist them if the opportunity arises. If they are sad, do your best to put a smile on their face before you walk away. If there

153 is something they need, help them to obtain it – even if it is something simple like assistance. 3. Put their needs and desires before yours. 4. Be charming. You can still be a bad boy and exude buckets of attitude, but you don't have to be rude to be a bad boy. You can be polite. Use good manners and common courtesy and produce a devilish smile on demand - and this will turbo charge your bad boy attitude. She wants a bad boy, but if you can also charm her parents with social grace and manners you're in, baby. 5. Be able and willing to connect with people and build common rapport. Talk to people. Anybody. Not just the hot women. Mirror other people. Don't expect everybody to mirror you. The most important person in anybody's life is themselves. If you can show an interest in and a connection to them, they will usually reciprocate. 6. Be spontaneous and keep those around you rooted in the present instead of lost inside their own mental frames. You can accomplish this through conversation

154 or action, but always bring them back to right here, right now - and look for a way to make the present even better than it currently is.

Where To Meet Women The best male display in the world isn't going to do a thing if there aren't any females to see it. You need to get out and mingle. You need to socialise and meet some people – if for no other reason than to boost your self confidence and attract lovely women into your close circle of friends. To do this, you're going to have to get off your sofa and put yourself out there, preferably in a place where there are females. Don't restrict yourself to bars, clubs, and pubs. Although these places are going to have a higher number of women who are actively trying to hook up, they are also places where women wear hardened emotional defensive shields against males, and things tend to happen very quickly. You will be tested and scrutinised a great deal more than in another venue. There can also be a bit of game playing involved as women may feel competitive to prove that they've still “got it” and able to attract men in droves, but with no intention of acting on it.

155 I'd like to suggest a few more places. Don't restrict yourself to any of these choices. Wherever people congregate for any purpose, unless it's an exclusive male club, you're likely to find women. – colleges/universities – church – the mall – the grocery store – a cafe – the park – the library – a book store – at work (though be careful) – friends and social activities – volunteer events In many of these places, you can walk up to a woman and strike up a conversation easily, because remember - you aren't

156 looking for sex. You're just saying hello to and taking an opportunity to meet an interesting person. If you are just looking for sex, go back and read this book again from the beginning. You aren't going to find it no matter where you look – unless of course it's a brothel. Also look around your community for interesting activities. If somebody is offering free dance lessons or yoga classes, you may have hit pay dirt. How many interesting women do you think are going to be there? How many interesting men? [Have fun.] The workplace is in fact an excellent place to meet women and get to know them, but once such a relationship becomes sexual there can be problems. Many people have had long and fulfilling marriages that started as office romances, so there are loads of success stories - but one failure or indiscretion can ruin your career or at least make the present workplace intolerable for at least one of the people involved. Ensuring that you are separated by physical and/or organisational distance could keep things from getting ugly later. In any event, discretion is critical. If you've got at least a handful of friends and they aren't all married with kids, consider throwing a house party. If each of your friends invites a friend, you'll have a chance to meet several new

157 people and extend your tribe. Watch your alcohol consumption. If done right your social value and sex scale rating will soar as you display your mastery of social interactions. If you end up passed out on the lawn or puking in the toilet, your rating will probably take a nosedive. The mall is a great place to meet women of all kinds. But rather than just approaching other shoppers, consider approaching the employees. In order for them to do their job satisfactorily, they have to talk to and be polite to you. Incidentally this is a great way to practise your conversation and approach skills and boost your overall confidence.

Meeting Women - The Approach Enough talk. It's time to meet some women. There are many different approaches you can use. For beginners I recommend the direct approach. This actually isn't the best approach to use with women, but I want you to know how it works and gain confidence in using it. This will eventually serve you well in business – but that's a bad place to practise being dominant. So here goes.

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Let's see what an alpha male does when he first meets an attractive woman. He is going to be your role model. He's at a bar, though it isn't important where he is. He could be at a business convention. There's a gorgeous girl standing by herself across the room and she gives off the impression that she's smart and attractive, and might be pleasant to talk to (and probably to have sex with, but our alpha male knows better than to concern himself with that possibility just yet). Nobody else seems to notice her (though everybody has noticed her – they are just too terrified/intimidated by her good looks to do anything about it). The first thing our guy does is perform the male display. He's an alpha male, so he doesn't leave the house unless he's well groomed. He's looking good. He's confident. Therefore his male display is simply positioning himself within her field of view and looking at her. See – isn't that easy? She looks back with a slight smile, holds her gaze for about three seconds and then looks down slightly. This is the universal signal – she thinks it would be pleasant to meet him, so the mating ritual is happening; and it's OK for our guy to

159 approach. Should he miss the signal the first time, she will probably try one or two more times before giving up and looking for somebody else. If he doesn't get the signal at all, either she doesn't notice him or she doesn't want him to approach. He might try walking to a location a bit closer, look her direction, and keep up his male display; watching again for the approach signal. Approaching without a signal is low status behaviour and shows desperation, although this only applies if you are approaching with the intent to initiate mating. The huge exception to the rule is to accidentally bump into somebody or start talking with somebody that is already right in front of or beside you, or if having sex with the person isn't your primary agenda. We'll talk about these indirect approaches in a moment. But he did get the signal – so it's time to move. The male crosses the room, walking straight towards her. His eyes are focused on her eyes but not staring. Looking at her tits right away will kill the encounter. That will have to wait for another time. He is standing up straight, shoulders back, and walks slowly and deliberately. He exudes relaxed confidence and everything about him suggests that he is a man of stability and power.

160 He may nod as he greets her, but will not smile from ear to ear. (In fact his eyebrows will raise briefly as his subconscious mind says “hello”, though he may not be aware of this.) Smiling for no apparent reason is a sign of low status and seeking approval, and the alpha male is not weak or seeking approval. He will smile only if there is reason to. He will not frown either, unless he wants to kill the encounter. Now it's time to say something. He doesn't need a lame pick up line. He says hello and introduces himself. “Hi, my name is Bob. What's your name?” Whatever she answers, he will imprint her name into his brain indelibly so that he does not forget it. Let's step back and analyse what has just happened. Bob does not have any fear or expectation of what's either going to happen or what's not going to happen. All he has done is introduce himself. If she responds positively, he will probably get to know her better and steer the conversation towards a nice quiet location. If she responds that she's happily married and tells Bob to buzz off, it's no big deal. What's likely to happen is that she'll see this as an honest approach by a friendly person and will probably spend at least 5-

161 10 minutes getting to know Bob better. During this time both will discover several things they have in common and the girl will feel good being around him, because Bob has all of those positive qualities that makes him a pleasant person to be around. He isn't hitting on her relentlessly, so she doesn't feel defensive - which would cause her to tense up and find a fast way to brush him off. If she has good feelings about the encounter, she will probably be comfortable around Bob the next time she sees him. Note that she has also already decided whether or not she would ever consider having sex with Bob. It doesn't matter to Bob what the decision is at this moment in time, though if her actions make it blatantly obvious he might decide to take an appropriate course of action. Why didn't Bob smile? Isn't smiling supposed to show that you're pleased with what you see and give the impression that you are friendly and approachable? Surely it couldn't be bad to smile at a pretty girl. In fact it's very bad. A woman reads a smiling male stranger as insecure and insincere, and will most always respond with aloofness. Every dating coach I've talked to disagrees with me on this subject, so don't take my word for it - you need to find

162 out for yourself. I stand by it. I used to smile at every woman I came across as soon as our eyes came into contact. I did this out of habit for my entire adult life. It is approval seeking behaviour – I freely admit it. I wanted people to like me so I smiled at them. My sex life changed dramatically for the better as soon as I stopped doing this. Try it. Go out on the street and smile at every girl you pass by. (Be sure to look at their eyes while doing this). Do this 50 or 100 times at least so you'll have some statistical evidence. You'll get nothing but cold shoulders, with eyes turned away. Now do it again – except this time, don't smile - just keep a straight face, while looking at their eyes. Not very often, but probably about 1 in 10 will smile at you. If this happens, it's OK to smile back if you wish to – assuming you find her agreeable in some sense and desire to build rapport, you will instinctively begin to mirror her – and she will notice this. But when you smiled at them first, 0 out of 10 (or 50 or 100) smiled back at you. They instantly had a negative impression and decided that they didn't like you. They did not mirror you because they did not want to build rapport with you. Once a woman is smiling at you, talking to you, or has

163 otherwise signalled even a casual interest, it's OK and in fact necessary to smile - or she's going to get worried that you might be an axe murderer or a complete nerd that doesn't know how to smile. It's only when you smile for no obvious reason during that first half-second of contact that it can leave a bad impression. Be aware of this, as there is never a second chance to make a first impression. Now let's get back to our encounter. If Bob was not an alpha male, things would have gone much differently. He would have waited five minutes to get the courage to walk across the room. She would have noticed the delay and count it as a mark against him in her mental scoreboard (where she is tabulating the results of “the test”). He would have walked over apprehensively and given her a line such as “if I told you that you have a beautiful body would you hold against me?”. Tacky and not even very original. Strike two. No cleverness credit or free pass for Bob. Bob might also get caught staring at her tits. BZZZTTT! Strike three. You're out. Game over. She would immediately know that Bob was just an average jerk and would brush him off instantly, telling him she's married, or a lesbian (though she is neither) and turning away quickly. Bob may persist

164 at this point, but she will never have sex with him. Not tonight, not next month, not next year. Never. And all of this happened in mere seconds. You should also be aware of an aspect of human behaviour called “approach anxiety”, which is in fact a primal response from our animal ancestors to the fact that approaching a female who is “owned” by a powerful alpha male could lead to a nasty fight and/or death. So we naturally get a bit nervous on approach. Since this is an instinctive reaction it is difficult to eliminate completely. Just be aware of it and understand why it is you feel the anxiety. It's natural. The only thing you can do is to project confidence and approach with confidence and build up a history of successful approaches. Over time this natural anxiety will fade to insignificance. I've just described a lone male directly approaching a lone female. Now let's work with some indirect approaches. Everything is easier when there are groups involved and if you can command some social proof. Basically, you want to dominate the frame. When you walk through the door, command attention. This is easier if you are hanging with others and the entire group rolls in. Your social proof is travelling with you.

165 Generate buzz and excitement. Get somebody to take your picture. Speak up. If there are girls in your group, it will instantly make you more attractive to every female in the place. They will work harder to meet you. With the indirect approach you just move closer to a person, but not in a direct frontal position. You want to approach just to the side. This gives you an out if anything doesn't go well. You can just turn away. Say hello over your shoulder. You can use this position as the basis of an attraction loop. Lean in to show interest, lean away to break it. It is also less threatening to her, as it doesn't directly convey your interest. You may observe a group of girls move closer to you. This is an indication of interest. They didn't walk all the way across the room to look at the trim on the windows. If you notice this happening, you're free to make an approach – in fact you're being invited. Never wait to make an approach. Any hesitancy will be noted and counts against you on her scroeboard. There is no better time than right now. One more thing... So, how do you know if a particular woman's negative interest is her trying to put you into an

166 attraction loop, or she is trying to dismiss you completely? That's fairly easy. An attraction loop is built on occasional positive interest to keep you baited, followed by the negative interest to make you work for her affection. If you aren't getting any positive interest, she's dissing you. Always dis-qualify her in return. Don't succumb to low status and display any interest towards her. If she shows interest at this point, you're back in control of the loop. Otherwise move on.

Work the Room Once you're confident and relaxed in your social interactions, you can get more mileage out of your male display at clubs and parties by learning to work the room. Just remember that you are rock solid confident. You don't care about the outcome to any interaction. You're here to meet people and interact with them. This works best for medium sized venues of 30-100 people. Let's say it's a bar or club. The first thing you need is to establish some social proof – otherwise it will be more difficult. You should make it a point to know the bartender by name and have conversed with them in the past. This gives your first social

167 proof. Walk up and get a drink and ask how the kids are doing. The university course they're taking. Something intimate that they've told you. Other people will be observing this and noting that you are socially comfortable and people know you. Now look around the room for anybody else that you already know. This gets easier the more times you do it as you learn who is a “regular”. Walk over and say hi. Shake hands. Ask about something unique to their life that you remember from a previous encounter. Don't let anybody monopolise your time. Keep moving. As soon as you've exhausted the people you know – start on people you don't know. What I want you to do is take on the mindset that you're the mayor of a small town, and you're up for re-election. You need to reach out to all the voters. Got that mindset? Great. Now walk around and talk to everybody. Ask where they are from. Ask how the food is. Ask what they are drinking. Don't talk about yourself too much – but do control the conversation and make certain your words convey high status. Become interested in everybody. Find out who they are and what's on their mind. Remember – you aren't here to hit on women. You're talking to everybody (male and female) and completely

168 unconcerned about any outcome. You're relaxed, confident, and in control of the entire room. You're in charge. You're the alpha male.

Once you've made it around the room and talked to everybody, take your drink (or buy another) and go have a seat. Within 5-10 minutes, people will be flocking to your table. Mostly women. Their boyfriend (if they are here with one) will stay behind because he doesn't understand what just happened. You have the social power in this venue. Women are drawn to it like a magnet. Mostly hot women because those that aren't will lack the confidence to approach you. And they already know you, because you've already interacted. Trust is building because you have the social proof of everybody involved. You became the alpha male and then extended your tribe to include everybody in the room. Nobody else has the fortitude to be the leader in such a diverse social climate – you do. And therefore that is exactly what happens. Working the room at a small cocktail or dinner (social) party requires a slight revision of this procedure. These parties tend to operate in phases. There's an initial meeting phase, then

169 the social event (if there was a purpose to this event), and then a segregation phase. (There are others, but these other phases aren't important for this exercise). During the segregation phase all of the men will tend to congregate in one room – usually the garage or lounge/living room. The women will congregate in another – often the kitchen. There is a lot of beta posturing and alpha power struggles going on in the male room. You need to spend some time with the males because people need to see how you fit into the social dynamics. Be cautious of the power struggles – as in this situation it's “every man for themselves”. Everybody wants to be the alpha. Work the room just as you did at the pub – even if it's after the initial meeting phase of the party. If you feel like engaging in alpha power struggles, make certain you are up to the task and have already acquired the skills. In this setting, it can be a brutal game for the amateur. I suggest just continuing to calmly work the room. After working this room, find the room with the ladies. Now go work that one. You will be the only male (with the exception of maybe a gay or other unfuckable male who is hanging out with the girls). You are a “fox in the hen house” - and they will all be on

170 high alert. Don't hang out and take a seat or you'll become unfuckable. Don't focus on one girl. Keep moving. Work the room. You are demonstrating social power. When you've finished working both groups, take a seat (or stand) between the two rooms. This is a very subtle way to completely neutralise the power games going on in the male room. You are guarding your harem from all the betas – just like an alpha male would do. The ladies will all notice this. The men will still be playing their silly little games. If you'd like an extra seductive edge in any of these social situations, you can subtly initiate physical contact. An “under the radar” way to do this is to become a palm reader. This is an old technique and every girl has probably had it pulled on them. But you can put a new twist on it and make it work for you regardless. Ask a group of girls if somebody would like to have their palm read by the great swami “________” (make up a name). One of them will go for the bait. Pick a “volunteer” if nobody bites. Don't worry if you know nothing about palm reading. It doesn't matter at all. Turn this into the most outrageous palm reading session anybody has ever encountered. “This is your clown line – and it's really long. You're going to sell your kids (if applicable) to

171 gypsies and join the circus.”. Keep making up completely absurd stuff. Every girl will now want to have her palm read. You can also pepper it a bit with innuendo. “This is your sex line. Ooh baby! Meet me outside in five minutes...” By turning this old “game” around, you will be able to touch every girl there. Don't just touch their hand. Hold their forearm or touch them in other ways as the situation permits. While I'm on the subject of touch techniques... If you're at a bar or club and working a table full of hot women that have had a few drinks, my favourite touching technique is playing “Are You Scared?”. This is quite an easy and fun dare game, but it's quite sexual. It works best with groups of divorced mid-thirties women that are having “girl's night out”. You can find out if this is the right target audience when you're working the room. First explain what you are going to do and ask for a volunteer. You can explain that this is a game to explore “the boundaries of personal space”. You will put your hand on a girl's knee and ask if she feels scared or uncomfortable. If she isn't scared, move your hand two inches up her leg and ask again. If she says that she's scared, quietly but promptly remove your

172 hand - you are done with this girl. Repeat until she tells you she is scared or you're finger-fucking her. You can't lose. You will be touching girls in increasingly intimate ways – with their full permission. And at a table full of drunk women, I guarantee that one of them is going to be curious how the game ends. You're playing on their peer pressure. The alpha female (the one you probably really want) is usually going to be the boldest and most adventurous of the bunch. Lucky you. You also might be pleasantly surprised when the occasional girl asks to play it on you in reverse. Never underestimate the power of peer pressure. One night I was fingerbanging one girl (who was also French kissing me), had my other hand on a second girl's tits, while yet another girl had her hands down my pants - fondling me. The other girls at the table were egging all of us on and telling their friends not to stop. You should have seen the jaws dropping around the bar from the guys who watched me pull this off --- as I had met these ladies only minutes earlier.

Watch the Eyes As women are reading your body language, they are

173 picking up thousands of cues and examining every twitch of every facial muscle. However the most important part of this conversation is taking place with your eyes. We've already shown that allowing your eyes to deceive or betray you (by looking at her tits) is the equivalent of dating suicide. There are many other glances that can get you into hot water. Keeping focused on her shows attraction but for goodness sake don't give her an unblinking psycho stare. She'll be getting far away from you very quickly if you do. Break your focus routinely – perhaps look at her hand, something to continue showing interest, while naturally taking in other aspects of your surroundings. Don't look far down or away, just break focus briefly. Down can either be a sign of lack of confidence or an attempt to look at her body. Away means you aren't really interested in her. Especially don't look at every girl that walks by. This sounds warning bells in her mind that you're probably a low status male and she's just another girl in a skirt to you. Even the subtlest glance at another woman will be picked up by her. You want her to experience the feeling that she is the centre of your attention and for this moment in time, nobody else matters.

174 I know this isn't fair, but nature also endowed women with a wider field of peripheral vision than men. They can look right at your eyes and also take in your crotch at the same time (and they do this far more often than you realise); they can watch another hot guy approaching beside you or keep an eye on a guy with a firm butt across the room, but you have to alter your focus to do these things and will usually get caught. Practise de-focusing slightly and expanding your peripheral vision so that you can take in more of your surroundings without obviously changing the direction of your gaze. You may also wish to practise the art of deceptive gazing which involves sweeping your eyes past the object you really wish to look at and landing on an object which will not cause any conflict. The key to this technique is to also use de-focus to widen your field of view. Your pupils will naturally dilate when you sweep across something you find enjoyable and this can be detected. By de-focusing they will dilate a bit less and you might have a chance at not letting on exactly what you find interesting. These vision techniques will serve you well in many social situations, so learn them well. A wink is a slightly flirtatious gesture which many men

175 were never taught. It is well worth adding this gesture to your flirtation repertoire. A spontaneous wink at just the right moment can create an instant sense of intimacy, as it symbolises “this is just between you and me”. Moderation is the key. You don't want the girl to think you've got a nervous twitch disorder. When you're out in public and wish to figure out who is single and/or available, keep a watch on the eyes of those around you. Those that are “looking for somebody” are quite literally doing just that. In a crowded mall or a bustling street, not very many people will be looking directly at the other people who walk by. In fact they will be avoiding looking directly at others. Unless you've got a booger hanging out of your nose - somebody looking directly at you will almost always be single, “available”, or wishing they could meet you.

Voice Training Next to your eyes, your voice is your most seductive asset. This is the tool you will primarily use to augment your body language and initiate sexual encounters. In order to do this effectively, you may wish to work on your voice a bit to enhance its seductive character. I would recommend some practise in a

176 quiet place where you won't be disturbed – or disturb others. If you wish, a voice recorder can be used to give you feedback as to what your voice sounds like to others and as a training aid. The main problem we are trying to overcome initially is that when you talk to somebody that you find attractive, you naturally will get excited. An excited person talks faster than normal, and their voice takes on a higher pitch. Often they will also get a bit louder. There's really nothing wrong with this – it's quite natural. But if you are trying to control the interaction – you are giving away your thoughts and not leaving any mystery as to what is on your mind. A man with a sexy voice is entirely different – and this is coincidentally the voice of an alpha male. Here are the characteristics you should strive for: 1. Drop the pitch of your voice as low as you can without it breaking up. A low pitched voice is often an indicator of high testosterone and relaxation. It tells others that you are highly masculine – and not nervous. 2. Drop the volume of your voice as low as possible for the venue. Ideally you should border on a whisper. Besides projecting a sense of intimacy, this also helps

177 create it – as the other person is drawn closer in order to fully hear what your are saying. Watch their body and gradually lower your speaking volume until the other person is leaning forward and into your personal space. Doing so is a submissive gesture which also helps you to work yourself into a dominant role. 3. Slow down. Slow down your breathing as well as your speaking rate. 4. This is the icing on the cake. Pause. Between. Words. Sometimes a short. Pause. Some. Times. A …...Long...... Pause. This allows you to pace the conversation and build tension. Don't let the words pour from your brain. Morsel them out and leave her hanging – waiting patiently for each syllable to arrive.

I have met musicians who have perfected the art of the perfect pause, and in a musical context the results are devastating. They can have the audience on their feet, waiting, waiting, waiting – the tension builds - and then they let the hammer fall and deliver the next note, and the crowd goes wild roaring with delight. It's a very powerful technique combining

178 suspense, anticipation, and tension. It can do the same for you. Once you master these nuances of the sexy voice, go back to the excited voice – but this time doing it under conscious control. You can use all these techniques and control them to lead her into different emotional states. You can speed her up. You can excite her. You can create a pregnant pause and instantly build tension. You can slow her down. You can relax her - using nothing else but control of your voice. Don't underestimate the power of your voice. The words aren't necessarily even relevant. You can put somebody into a deep hypnotic trance reciting “Itsy-Bitsy Spider” with the right pacing and delivery. I've seen it happen.

How To Hold A Conversation By this point you shouldn't be afraid to walk up to a woman and talk to her; though you might still have a bit of hesitation if you have nothing to say. On the bright side, most any topic is fair game, but don't ask her yes/no questions, as she will quickly answer and then you have to come up with something else to say without having learned anything about her except the answer to the question.

179 Remember that women's brains are wired for feelings and emotions. Ideally you want to know how she feels, rather than what she thinks. You also want to know what interests her. The more you learn, the easier it is to find common ground or rapport and build it into something bigger – like a relationship. Also remember that humour can be your secret weapon. The more you can get her to laugh (without coming across as a wise guy or circus clown) the more she is going to like you. Laughing releases tension, which coincidentally is the same thing that sex does. If you can keep her laughing without coming across as a complete clown – you might wish to try your hand at the “free pass for sex” sometimes afforded the extremely clever male. To do this, keep her laughing, keep her off balance by being unpredictable, and move in quickly to physical contact. Always watch her body language and responses and back off to a traditional approach if she isn't responding with deepened interest. Some conversation starters include: – Ask her opinion. This is great because she'll feel that you value what she thinks and has to say. This puts you head

180 and shoulders above the last hundred guys that just wanted to sleep with her. Example: “My friend says that my tie doesn't really go with my suit, she thinks it's a bit loud. What do you think?” This is working on several levels. You are valuing her opinion, and also letting her know that you have a friend who is a girl. This makes you seem less desperate. Don't lie because she'll be able to read you. But you can stretch the truth. This friend could be the lady you asked five minutes ago what she thought of your tie. – Mention something about her that you find interesting (except her breasts). “I like your ear rings/shoes/haircut/ (whatever). A girl at work has something similar. Where did you find them at?”. – News of the day. “Did you know Michael Jackson died? I always thought he was a bit strange – what do you think?” Don't use this example. Michael Jackson is long gone. – Something that is around you right this moment. “I just noticed you tapping melons. My mother used to do that, but she never explained what she was listening for. Could you describe the process for me?” Again, please don't

181 use the proximity of melons to let your mind wander to thoughts about her breast size. Many popular dating courses also teach men to use disconnects as an opener. This is a bit manipulative, but I'm not here to judge your character. You should know about disconnects and be able to make use of them if the situation warrants. The disconnect is basically a negative compliment which puts her immediately into approval seeking mode, and this cements your dominance. You may wish to use this whenever the woman is acting a bit bitchy or otherwise showing hostility toward your approach. Tell her so. “Oh my, you look a bit angry/bored/ [whatever]”. Tell her something that is unpleasant or unattractive about herself, but true. Don't make it up. This puts her on the defensive and she has to respond submissively by apologising or explaining why she has such an obvious flaw that you are compelled to bring it to her attention. The beauty of this little bit of social manipulation is that she won't leave you alone until she has proven to you that she's really a nice girl. You just told her that she was socially awkward, that she isn't cool, that she has no sexual power over you. She needs to change your mind. Once you've initiated the conversation, she is going to say

182 something. Anything she says – anything at all, is going to provide a clue about this person. You are now a detective, and you are collecting clues. Make a mental sheet of paper and mentally copy/paste on it every noun she speaks. If you're up to the task, of secondary importance is to keep track of her verbs separately. These are all things which you can use to further the conversation. Let's say she tells you that she bought her shoes last week at a little shop in London. Now you can ask her about London. You can ask her about shopping. You can talk about last week. You can also talk about travel if you live a long way from London. Every time she says something – listen, get more clues and add them to your mental clue sheet. Keep using the clues and talk about them because these are things which interest her. If you are showing genuine interest in things which interest her and not just talking about yourself, she will probably begin to like you. Steer the questions towards feelings when with a woman. Ask her to describe the feeling she gets when she's shopping for shoes... Don't laugh. Most guys won't touch feelings as part of the conversation – so if you do, that's going to quickly land you

183 on her short list of interesting guys. You can keep this going for hours. The verbs will start to grow into collections of actions which show how she thinks. Primarily there are three types of person – the visual thinker, the auditory thinker and the kinesthetic thinker. You can gain rapport by matching the way she thinks in your own speech. If she uses lots of words like “see”, “visualise”, and “imagine” she is likely to be a visual thinker. If she “hears”, “listens”, or something “sounds great”, she is probably auditory. If she's kinesthetic (rare) and describes her world almost completely by touch or feel, you may have a red hot firecracker on your hands waiting for you to light her up with touching and feeling. At some point she will ask about things which interest you, or what your opinion is about something. Remember, you wrote down your interests, goals, and ambitions. This is easy, since you already know the answers. Always have an opinion, and don't always agree with hers. If you do, tell her why you feel that way. You want her to know that you aren't afraid to speak your mind. Every time there is a pause in the conversation, go back to your mental list of clues that you know about her, and pick

184 another one. Whatever you do, don't start talking about yourself to keep the conversation going. Let her ask about you, respond, and then go back to finding out about her. Being slightly unpredictable will also give you an edge; first of all because you won't come across as boring, but most of all because this will leave her feeling a bit confused. Your ultimate goal is to affect her feelings in a deep way, and love and confusion are closely related emotional states which affect the same areas of the brain. So skip asking what she thinks of her boss. Boring. Ask her if she's ever considered breeding goldfish or riding bareback on a zebra – something interesting that no guy has ever asked her before.

Frame Dragging If you are talking about something that is in your environment right now, it is often difficult to keep the conversation flowing. Think about it. Let's say that you mention an interesting chair in front of you as a starting point for the conversation. Yes, that chair certainly is interesting. She will probably agree with you. “Yup. It is.” But now you're stuck in a conversational dead end. You need to come up with something else. But if you keep

185 looking around the room and reporting what's there, she's going to quickly get bored of agreeing that yes – that item is in the room. In order to bring interest to something that is in front of you in the present, you need to drag your mental picture into a different frame. Specifically, you need to drag this chair out of the present and into the past, or into the future, or into the outer limits of your imagination. Here are some examples of how to do that. How old do you think that chair is? I wonder if anybody important has ever sat in that chair. Let's watch that chair for five minutes and see who sits in it next. Will it be a boy or a girl? How would that chair look if it was covered in crushed red velvet? How would it feel? That chair reminds me of one my mother used to have. When I was younger I used to imagine it was the console of a space ship. This is how you can take the most inane things surrounding you and turn them into long and interesting conversations. Drag them out of the present and put them some place else. Move them into different areas of your mind and play with them – and then talk about it. You will be dragging her along

186 with you on a journey through your mind. You'll find that you can guide her wherever you want to take her, including sensual and erotic places in your mind – and perhaps hers as she travels along with you and/or drags your thoughts into frames of her imagination. And you can do all of this simply by noticing a simple object like a chair in front of you and frame-dragging it.

Beyond Talk As you talk, be aware of what you are both doing. Your bodies are also carrying on a conversation. For example, here's an exercise you can carry out as you're talking... Reach up and scratch your ear very briefly. Watch her closely. Chances are that her ear will suddenly develop an itch and she will subconsciously reach up to scratch it. She is mirroring you. This is good. You are beginning to build rapport. When people are around other people they like, they start developing the same posture, the same mannerisms, even their breathing and heart rates will start to match. They will cross their arms or fidget in unison. Two people can mirror excitement, sadness, sexual tension, and even put themselves into a trance. Any emotional state that you feel can be felt by the other person

187 – and vice versa. If one of you says something funny (which could be most anything at this point because she's probably feeling a wee bit of tension and really wants to laugh to release it), you might wish to let your hand brush her lightly somewhere innocent, like near her elbow. Don't make it too obvious or contrived, just touch her gently - if and whenever the opportunity presents itself. If all goes well, she will be looking for opportunities to touch you also, because she is mirroring you, remember? If she touches you first, fine. You're mirroring her. You know what to do. Touch is magic. Remember that her brain responds to feelings. If you touch her, she's going to feel you. That's a deep connection. It also breaks down and closes the invisible space barrier between you. This space barrier varies by culture, but we keep strangers at a further distance from our bodies than we keep friends. As this distance diminishes (as long as she isn't backing away to maintain it), it is a sign that she is comfortable being this close to you. It is a signal of trust. Touching her lips is very erotic and will quickly ratchet up the sexual tension. If you are in a slightly intimate setting, just quietly reach over and brush your fingers across her lips - while

188 watching her eyes. Often they will fully dilate – almost instantly. This will usually turn her on and she will quickly be touching you. If you notice that she isn't mirroring you, and particularly if her body and/or feet are pointing away from you, you're not getting very far. It might be best if you looked at your watch and discovered you were late to a social engagement. In fact you might want to look at your watch even if things are going well. Remember you aren't pursuing her. This is just an introduction and a chance for her to start desiring you. If you want her to pursue you (which I assume you do), you can't be too easy. That's a beta male trait. Turn the tables and make her work for your affection and attention. If she likes you, she will. You are an important person, a high status alpha male. You have a life, with things to do and places to be - and this is what makes you interesting. Don't disrupt your entire schedule for her. If she wants to be part of your life, she will have to disrupt her schedule to be with you. But you also want her to know that you aren't blowing her off. “Wow, I really enjoyed talking to you. Do you have an email address? I'd like to continue this conversation.” If everything went well she'll gladly hand you her email address. This is a lot better

189 than a phone number, which she might be reluctant to give out. Take it and leave. She'll be checking her email every thirty seconds until you contact her again. You shouldn't contact her for at least 24 hours. Give her a chance to want you, and don't be too quick to satisfy. When you do, make sure she knows that you have many things to do, but you'd like to try and fit in some time with her in your busy schedule. Suggest coffee - or maybe she'd like to go grocery shopping with you. Expensive dinners for a first date are beta male behaviour. The process of dating is to bring somebody into your life. The best way to do that is to get her involved in what you are doing in your life on an ordinary day, like today. And anyway, you aren't really dating. You're just getting together to talk, be with each other for a little while (and maybe find another opportunity or two to touch a little bit, but don't tell her this). Pick up some spare ribs for dinner. Talk, laugh, touch a little bit more. Now watch what happens as a result. You're just living your life, and this girl is suddenly right in the middle of it, because she is enjoying being with you. She likes you. It hasn't cost you anything at all. You haven't made a fool of yourself. You haven't

190 said anything overtly sexual or propositioned her after a $200 Italian dinner, and the next thing you know she's grabbing your arm in the aisle of the supermarket and laughing at your jokes about eggplant – all because she's comfortable being around you. In short, she's acting like she's your girlfriend and has known you for years - on the first date. Isn't that great? At some point you'll probably decide to get together again some time, or maybe you can invite her over for those spare ribs you bought. That's fine. Enjoy. Invite her along to do some other stuff. You're going hiking on the weekend with friends and she's welcome to come along.

Build Attraction Once you are conversing and perhaps touching, things are starting to get dangerous – especially if you don't have a long history of success with women. You are probably being tested. Good luck with that. You are also probably thinking that you really like this person. It is at this point that many men lose their confidence – that is they start to become concerned with the outcome. This is when and where they most often blow everything by reverting to

191 approval seeking behaviour. Don't do it. You're watching for signs that her attraction to you is growing. You need these signals from her in order to continue. If you let her know that you are attracted to her, she becomes the dominant partner and you won't ever get these signals. Continue being a bit playful and interested but completely detached emotionally. Women want to be able to figure you out - and if you're showing hints of attraction towards them but not actively hitting on them, it will increase the level of sexual tension. You both know it's there. Sexual tension is a feeling, a very deep feeling. As it builds, so will her attraction to you. She will soon want very badly to release the tension. She will want to be close to you. She won't be able to get you out of her head. Watch for these signals.

The Attraction Loop Subconsciously, you're playing a bit of a game with her. Relax. Women have been doing this to you all your life, and she's very likely doing a bit of the same to you right now - so don't feel guilty. In order to desire something with a consuming passion, it can't be too easy to obtain. It has to be withheld from you. This

192 makes you want it. Badly. The more you see it in front of you, and know that it is attainable - but you can't actually get it, the more you want it and the harder you will work to get it. In simpler terms you're teasing, and at the same time playing hard to get. This is the key to desire. Once you've got something you once desired, the tension is gone – and you don't desire it as much (if at all). Your goal is to stir her emotions and feelings into a frenzy. Build tension, release it. Over and over. At this particular time, you're in the tension building phase. You're building up to ultimately drop the big one on her and release it all in the bedroom - so spend some time on it. The more you get physically closer but hold back from doing anything obviously sexual the more she will want to have sex with you. You are putting her in an attraction loop. Here's how it works... If she does anything to indicate interest – anything at all, acknowledge the interest with interest of your own. This is her reward. Then counter it with a dis-qualifier. This is her punishment. Lean away or say something contrary to building rapport. A negative compliment, anything that says to her 'No you're not really interested'. She will have to work to overcome

193 this – in order to receive another reward, and in so doing, it will boost her feeling of attraction. You are putting her feelings and emotions into a cyclical feedback loop and basically turning her into an addict for your affection. Every time she does something that indicates interest, acknowledge it, return the interest, and then dis-qualify yourself again. Now then - if she dis-qualifies herself, match it with a disqualifier on your part. Punish her. Never reward negative behaviour. If she dis-qualifies herself repeatedly without any intervening indications of interest, you've lost her. But it turns out that once she has displayed any level of interest, it's very unusual for her to give up. Those that do often enjoy pain and have masochistic tendencies so you'd probably be wise to not pursue it further. This is the basic attraction loop. Work it over and over again to build attraction and sexual tension to higher and higher levels. Reward her every time she does anything that increases rapport. But always keep her in need of more rewards. Trust me – if you stop dis-qualifying yourself, you will quickly find yourself in her attraction loop, and she will quickly assume dominance. Women know this game instinctively.

194 Now back to your encounter. Yes, we know your sexual tension is growing as well. No matter how hard it seems, maintain some level of emotional detachment until you know for sure that she is feeling attraction. You are the dominant partner. You are in control. Don't forget it for a minute. You may hear her say something like “I've never felt like this before” or “I'm probably being silly, but...” or “I just can't figure you out”. This is when you know you've got her. She's hopelessly caught in your attraction loop. Use a bit of humour to release small amounts of tension if it's getting really hot, heavy and serious. At this point you could probably just look at her with a slightly twisted expression and she'll burst out laughing. That's another sign that things are going well and that she's feeling the sexual tension big time.

Statement of Intention Until now, you've avoided projecting any form of blatant sexual interest - you've treated her completely neutral. But both of you are sexual beings and this book is ultimately about seduction. Some time within the first two or three encounters there is likely to be a point where it becomes obvious that there is something going on. Something about the way you look at each

195 other. Maybe the subtle touching is becoming less subtle. Both attraction and trust are present and being conveyed openly. You are the high status male so you can't be seen as grovelling, but likewise the high status male knows when it's time for action. He must take the lead and initiate the mechanics of sex. This can take place entirely with body language, but at some point she needs to hear the words. Words are sexy. This is called the statement of intention. You are already doing the mating dance. You must make it known that should this relationship continue, you are going to physically get closer – much closer. It's time to do what you probably wanted to do since you first set eyes on her, and that's to talk about sex. This can start off as a joke or casual comment that she looks sexy, or the more blatant “I really like you, I'd like to know you better - and get closer”. Use your own words, but asking if her “hot pussy is getting wet thinking about your hot rod” might be a bit much at this stage. Save that for the bedroom. When you do this, observe her actions very closely. You have just changed the dynamics of the relationship and she may react in unexpected ways. If all went well to this point, she should

196 accept this affirmation that you're a hot-blooded male (after all) with an air of submissiveness and inevitability. But she may have trust issues or her own self-image and confidence to deal with. If her body language becomes less together once you've declared your intentions, back off a bit and give her some space. This doesn't mean you've lost the game by any stretch, but it means you may have rushed it. Whatever you do, don't apologise. But also, no matter what her response - go back and continue where you were immediately before the statement of intention. She already knew you wanted to drill her into the sheets, even though you never told her so until now. She could read your body, but she wasn't able to read your mind. You've just made your intentions crystal clear and aligned your being with your sense of purpose. You won't need to say it again. If you are just in this for the sex, now is the time to tell her. She should be attracted to you at this point, very likely getting a bit horny, and that isn't likely to change. Attraction isn't a choice, it's what she feels. What you need to do is set her expectations accordingly. It's all about trust. Breaking her trust soon after sex will likely get your name

197 and details of your romantic crime plastered across the internet for all to see, and probably ruin your chances with any other woman that she comes into contact with. It isn't a romantic crime to have sexual feelings and intense passion or even to act on it. It's a romantic crime to knowingly and willingly break somebody's trust. A one night stand is going to come across to her in a bad light initially because her first thought will be about her reputation (followed quickly by concerns about pregnancy). She doesn't want to be called a slut. You can minimise this concern by being a person who she can confide in. Wink, which says to her “this is between you and me” and then insist that “Nobody needs to know”. As for pregnancy, remember the Boy Scout motto - “Be Prepared”. Know precisely where the nearest condom is.

Your Place or Mine? Soon you'll probably be thinking about and looking for a comfortable place to make out. She will be most comfortable in her own space. But this might not be the best place – because if she is in her own space she will feel and be in control. You are

198 the dominant partner and must lead the way, or she could lead you to a different outcome – or perhaps none at all. Your home is where you are best able to move forward. But you should be well prepared for this. If you share your home with others, they need to be aware of the possibility you might bring somebody home – and if necessary be somewhere else. There are a few things you should do ahead of time if these aren't part of your daily regimen. The bathroom needs to absolutely spotless and hygienically perfect. Women are very sensitive to this. As one person quipped recently, you should be able to conduct open heart surgery in your bathroom without requiring any antibiotics. Put the lid down no matter how much pity you feel for females that are apparently so technically challenged that they can't figure out how to do it themselves. Just put it down so it won't be an issue. The kitchen likewise needs to be spotless or at least look as if was spotless sometime within the last four hours. Ensure you don't have any experimental life forms cultivating in either the refrigerator or sink. Don't leave a big pile of dirty clothes in the middle of the dining room or the bedroom. Just make it all presentable now so she won't run away screaming later because of all the germs which you were so diligently cultivating. You also

199 don't want her to think that you're seeing her just because you need somebody to do your laundry and clean your house (no matter how true that may be). How are you going to get her inside? Isn't that like giving away what's going to happen there? There are some subtle ways of dealing with this as well. Next time you're going out some place with her, tell her to meet you at your place – outside so she doesn't feel intimidated. When you meet her (outside) tell her you've got to back in for just a minute. She can come. Remember you're going out and have appointments/reservations/whatever. This way she won't be worried that you'll drag her to the bedroom right then and there. By doing this, you're allowing her to check out (preview) your place, your surroundings. Now the next time you want to bring her home (like two hours from now), she'll have already been there and won't feel unsafe, uncertain, or otherwise nervous about where you might live and what condition your home might be in. If you can't work this in logistically, an alternative approach is to tell her all about your home when you are together somewhere else. Paint her a mental picture so that she can

200 visualise the kind of place you live in and what she might expect to encounter there. You can start by talking about your bathroom remodel or a recent furniture acquisition and expand from there. The key point is that it is a lot easier for her to end up at your place if she feels she is in a somewhat familiar and safe environment - so if you can't physically show her, you should show her mentally. Make the presentation complete by giving a guided tour to all of her senses. The smell of the roses in the yard, the taste of your latest spaghetti sauce, the feel of your lounge, etc. Taking her to multiple locations or multiple frames prior to “taking her home” may also make your goal a lot easier to achieve. The more locations you have both been to, the more “adventures” you have shared – and the more likely she will be open to another adventure with you. This might be a coffee shop, book store, and art gallery. If you can't get her away from the venue she is in, move her around the venue. Change the frame. You will now be sharing a slightly different situation than you were a moment ago.

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The Road to the Bedroom At some point, maybe tonight, maybe a few weeks from now (be patient) – and no matter where you are, you will probably find yourselves getting closer and touching even more. It won't take very long at all and she'll be getting a bit turned on by being around you and then you'll notice that she is looking into your eyes real deep. Her pupils are completely dilated. Her skin is pink and flushed. Look back - deeply, it's OK. She wants you to. This is called the copulatory gaze. Now look at her lips. Look back at her eyes. Her lips again. Back to her eyes. Now lean your head forward just a little bit and close your eyes. You are about to get kissed. She's going to think you're the absolute smoothest man she ever met. She's dying to kiss you, and you just let her, or rather it just kind of happened. [Wink]. This can be a very intense emotional state. If you're a very clever person, you will want to anchor this state. Link it to an action, such as to squeeze her hand lightly and briefly. The next time you squeeze her hand, she's going to feel some intense feelings.

202 If you lean forward for a kiss and she doesn't quickly respond in kind – take matters into your own hands, literally. Hold your hands out, palms facing upward - and cup both sides of her chin in your palms. Pull her head gently towards yours until your lips meet. This is a very dominant gesture and you might wish to use it instead of the “let her kiss you” approach – particularly if you aren't absolutely certain that she wants to kiss you. But let's back up a moment. How you kiss can change everything. It can literally mean the difference between spending the night alone or spending it with her. But every woman is different in what they expect and want from that first kiss. How is a guy supposed to be all things to all women? It's actually easy. As you're leaning in for that kiss, pay attention to everything she does. I mean everything. She is going to kiss you in exactly the way she wants to be kissed. Mirror her kiss exactly. Start off by leaning in and then notice the angle of her head, whether or not her lips are parted. Match her lip pressure. If she nibbles or sucks on your upper lip, do the same to her. If she opens her mouth and gives you some tongue, give it back. If you can mirror her kiss down to the most subtle

203 nuances, she won't be able to stop. You're going to send her into an uncontrollable sexual frenzy. This is another of those primal body language things. She is projecting onto you the kiss of her perfect, ideal man that she has built up in her brain. If you can mirror it, she cannot help but be convinced that you're the one. It's OK if you fail to match her on the first try. Wait a few minutes and go for another one – just keep paying attention. From this point on, don't ask or otherwise seek approval for any sexual moves you make. You still must respect her if she pushes you away or says “no”, but in the absence of protest, you must continue moving towards sex at a steady but comfortable rate for the situation. You are both on biological auto-pilot now. It is what men and women do. Millions of years of evolution are taking their course. Should you fail to keep moving forward, she will get concerned and wonder why, and start to build doubt – from which recovery could be difficult. But don't think that just because things are going extremely well and you've gotten a green light that you should drag her into the bedroom. Not at all. After you kiss, pull back and talk some more. Maybe a bit later go in for another kiss. Then stop. You are in complete control. You're quite likely to be getting

204 very turned on by now as well, but don't let that mess things up. It isn't time to rip her clothes off and screw her brains out. It's time to play. Make a move. Tease her, then back away. Tease, back away. If you do this correctly, she'll be begging you to have sex with her. She'll rip your clothes off. A wonderful segue into actually removing clothing is to give her a relaxing massage, starting with shoulders, arms, and legs/feet. The more relaxed she is the more heightened the arousal she will feel, which will make the entire experience more intense for her. Smell her hair, her neck. Absorb her essence with all your senses - touch, smell, taste, vision, hearing. Talk to her – tell her that she smells wonderful. Women worry about this – especially how their genitals smell (when you get there). Reassure her. Listen to her heart beating. Tell her how her skin tastes, her neck, her fingers (and later her breasts and genitalia). Always make a move, then back away; slowly but completely building sexual tension while simultaneously relaxing every muscle in her body. Proceed at the same steady but comfortable pace with the remaining steps to intercourse.

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Mind Blowing Sex Maintain a comfortable pace and build up to the eventual conclusion. Spend time exploring every inch of her body and seeing how it reacts to your touch. She is literally covered with erogenous zones. Fingers, earlobes, the inside of her elbows, her neck, her lips, don't ignore anything. Any part of her entire body can be an erogenous zone if you treat it as one and attempt to arouse it. Save the vagina and surrounding tissue for last, after she is thoroughly and completely aroused elsewhere. Work from the outer limbs of the body inward. Wherever you find her responding the most, spend a bit longer. Don't go right for her breasts or vagina. Approach these areas by exploring the surrounding areas thoroughly and building up the tension. If you have been kissing and playing with her breasts but haven't touched the nipples, she is going to go crazy with anticipation wondering when you finally will. Likewise the clitoris and vaginal cavity. Always let her be the one who gets impatient, as she will then make a concerted effort to reciprocate and fully arouse you. Don't get so excited that you rush – as you can still exhibit desperate low status male behaviour and blow it - losing

206 everything you've worked toward. As long as you remain steady and in control, nature will be in charge and it will be very hard to change the outcome once you've gotten to this point. I'm also assuming that you're prepared with an available condom. If not, call it a night and arrange to see her tomorrow. Better now than once you're straddling her naked body. Keep in mind that her nipples, clitoris, and G-spot function mechanically in a similar fashion to your own sex equipment. Increased blood flow makes them “harder”, which also make the nerves in that region more sensitive to stimulation. Be aware of and pay attention to what spots on her body produce the most intense reactions. You can work these over and over again to build up her tension. But always work her entire body. Arouse her completely. Just because you've reached “second base” doesn't mean that you should give up on first base. Go back and work on areas you've already stimulated to keep the nerve endings from all over her body firing into her brain at once. She will be overwhelmed with pleasure sensations if you do this. I'd also like to recommend that you find and study a good book on acupuncture. Know the nerve pathways within the

207 human body and you'll know where to stimulate her for maximal effect. You'll find that some of these acupuncture points directly control sensations in the vagina and other erogenous points in her body – long before you physically stimulate those locations directly. The centre of the underside of her foot, a spot on her ear, the top of her shoulder halfway to the neckline, the small of her back behind her last rib, the bottom border of her buttocks where it meets the leg, etc. This is a quick list that should get you started. Go exploring. Have fun. If her back suddenly arches or you notice a sudden change in any of her leg muscles, you've found something very interesting that you should explore more fully. Most men are very predictable when it comes to sex. They kiss her, then work their way to her nipples, stay there for a minute or two and then work their way quickly to the clitoris. After stimulating that for a minute or two and she starts to warm up and show a response, they mount her and ride her home. This is so wrong it's not funny. You've already shot your load and she's just getting started. When you do finally engage the clitoris, I'd like you to try something that will probably turn her into your sex slave forever –

208 if that's what you want. Slowly lubricate her vaginal opening by finger stimulation so that you can gently slide your fingers in and out. Take two or three fingers and rest them inside her as you bring your tongue to bear on her clitoris. Use a sweeping motion to tease the clitoris and experiment with different angles and pressures (starting very light – almost a tickle). Now be aware of your fingers resting inside her. At some point as the clitoris starts to engorge with blood and become hard, you will feel a contraction of the vaginal walls around your fingers. Now take note of exactly what you were doing when the contraction occurred. What angle, what pressure, etc. Do it again. The same place, the same pressure, the same angle. You'll probably feel another contraction on your fingers. You're now in the sweet spot. Just keep doing it over and over and she will have a major climax - and you haven't even penetrated her with your man tool yet. In fact she will probably grab your penis and insist that you stick it inside her. Don't do it. You've only just begun. If you start to feel as if you can't wait any more and need to stick it inside her right now – hold on. Take one thumb and

209 forefinger and squeeze both sides of the head of your penis for several seconds. This will relax the organ a bit and will take a few minutes to arouse fully again. Do this as often as necessary until you get to the “main course”. Wait – it gets better. As soon as she has an orgasm, slow down for a minute or two, and then do it all over again. Be gentle the second (third, etc.) time around as the clitoris will have become much more sensitive. Always start softly and build slow. You can keep this going for seven or eight (or more) orgasms with a bit of practise. But give her at least two clitoral orgasms before you go to work on her vagina. This will usually warm her sufficiently up for really having sex. But don't have sex yet. Patience is everything my friend. Now that she's warmed up, you should be able to give her a Gspot (vaginal) orgasm and possibly even make her squirt. She'll never forget this night as long as she lives. Many women have never experienced this because they haven't been sufficiently warmed up. It takes a lot longer to get the G-spot stimulated than the clitoris. But after a few orgasms, her vagina should be just about ready for some real fun. Place you fingers back in her vaginal cavity (if for some

210 reason you removed them) and find the rough patch on the front side of the vaginal wall about one and a half to two inches in. After all the activity, it should be swollen and getting quite hard. Now do the same thing for this G-spot that you did for the clitoral orgasm. Finger it from different angles and with different pressures until you feel the contractions begin, and then repeat whatever you were doing until she reaches orgasm again. This orgasm will be very intense and she'll probably be making some noise. The vaginal contractions as she climaxes will probably squeeze your fingers enough to push them out. Just slide them back in again. And remember not to neglect the rest of her body now that you've started to focus on sex organs and orgasms. Keep going back and ensuring her entire body is thoroughly stimulated and all her nerves firing. Nibble her nipples, kiss her neck/lips/everything, squeeze her pressure points. Rub her feet with yours. She will succumb totally to the total pleasure. OK, she's had enough fun. It's your turn now. Give her a minute or two to recover from the G-spot orgasm and then slide inside her. You should be rock hard by now. If not, it won't matter, you can talk her into doing anything to please you at this point. She'll gladly give you head until you are hard again. If you still

211 want to show her that you're a sex god without equal, go in from behind so that you're sliding over and contacting her G-spot while you bring yourself to climax. She'll be screaming, moaning, dripping wet inside and out – and shaking all over. She'll have another orgasm soon after you're inside her. You can do anything you want to her and use any position you desire at this point because she's already satisfied – in spades. Don't worry. Be warned, if you follow these steps, she's likely to get obsessed and not be able to ever let you go. If you were only interested in a fling, you might skip some of these steps because if you're the best lover she ever had, she could go psycho on you when you try to leave. Oh yeah, while she's convulsing on the bed after the umpteenth orgasm, and is clearly idolising your sexual prowess you might think to plant another anchor. Sure you can bring her to this point again, but it's never quite as intense emotionally as the first time. Take two fingers and gently stroke them vertically across her lips. She's now yours forever if you want her. Any time she acts up or you just want to take her mind off of a screwed up world, just stroke your finger across her lips. She'll melt into your arms and submit to you totally. She'll probably kill

212 for you if you ask her to. She'll sign over her retirement fund into your secret Swiss account. Anything. Just promise to do it to her again. This is sexual power. She's also going to tell all her friends about you. This is the key to viral marketing. It will be very difficult for her to keep quiet about this. She'll want everybody to know how good she feels and why. She'll tell girls at work, at school, at the gym. This is good for you if she has hot friends. She will be in an extremely happy emotional state for a few days. Every one of her friends that talks to her will want to hear the whole sordid story and ask her to relive the adventure. They will mirror her feelings. They will feel the intense pleasure. They will feel the raw passion and lust. They'll be curious about you – as few of them have ever encountered sexual pleasure at this level before. They all want to. You'll have girls looking at you almost in disbelief and figuring out ways to get some of that pleasure bestowed on their body. They'll touch and stroke your arm without even realising it – should you run into one of them at the supermarket. They will feel jealousy when they are around you because they are hot and feel that they deserve to be pleasured by you. This, my friend - is how you get girls hitting on you that you've maybe never even

213 met before. Now also please remember that she will also want to talk after having sex for the first time. Whatever you do, don't roll over and sleep. This is very important to her. For better or worse, the final barriers between your two physical beings have now been dissolved, an even deeper level of trust has been established, and she may wish to share things with you that she only shares with those who know her intimately. You are now one of them.

The Quick Fuck I've deliberately saved this part for last, even though it's what many of you wanted to see in the first chapter. There's a reason for this... once you have mastered the skills of seduction and know how to project the image of a confident and important man to the world, doing a quick pick-up for sex is practically child's play. You now should be aware of and working towards acquiring all the necessary skills, and it's simply a matter of speeding up the seduction process. First of all, recognise that not every woman will be a candidate for quick sex. You will be using your skills at reading

214 body language to quickly find those that are putting themselves on sexual display and are actively looking for a hookup. Your best bet is at a nightclub or bar where the possibility for quick hookup is already ingrained in the culture. For your part, you need to take on the role of a bad boy rock star. You're confident and cocky and can have anybody you want. Your world is so exciting that every woman would drop what they're doing in a heartbeat to be a part of it. Don't act this role. Don't play this role. Be this person. Look for women that are dressed to kill, and preening themselves for sexual display. Watch the eyes and find out who is “looking for somebody”. Don't waste your time in idle chit-chat with women that aren't actively pursuing sex or that don't fit your selection criteria. You now know how to approach – do it. Get her talking. You need to find out some critical information – work it into the conversation. Who is she here with? What are the driving arrangements? Find out what people she is connected with and how. If she is with a boyfriend and/or driving all of her friends home, she isn't coming home with you. Logistically, it doesn't work. Move on to somebody else. Ask what her plans are for the

215 rest of the evening. It doesn't get much more direct than this. Then find out her schedule in the morning. Again, be prepared to pass and move on to somebody else if the answers aren't amenable to going home with you and romping in bed for a few hours. If everything is a go, move quickly. You have to rely on your confidence and alpha male skills to cause attraction, and use your conversational abilities to quickly build trust. Start touching and quickly escalate. Get her into an attraction loop and work it. You need to simultaneously pull her in and emotionally push her away to quickly build attraction and sexual tension. Invade her space and be her Casanova – while telling her that she's not quite cool enough to be the one for you. This will get her working for your approval. Give her limited approval in return every time she works for it. Show disapproval if she doesn't – and make her climb back from disgrace. You're really just condensing the whole seduction process into the bare essentials. Attraction, trust, touch, move in. If you give her too much time to think about what's happening, she's likely to get nervous and bolt. Don't let her have the chance.

216 You're relying on all your masculine skills that we've covered so far (and which are now expressed in your body language) to short circuit the whole game. She craves a powerful man with confidence and charisma – and here you are. You are dominant and in control. The statement of intention doesn't even need to be subtle. “Let's go to my place”. Don't skip any steps, just take all the complexity out of it. Move her around the room to establish a quick history of shared frames. On the way out to the car, stop in a secluded spot for a long kiss to keep her hot until you ultimately arrive at your destination. She knows exactly what is going on – she is being overcome by raw passion and animal instinct. She has just been seduced by a master, a ten on the sex scale. She cannot resist as she is simply playing her role in the animal kingdom. Just like a lioness on the savannah, she is about to get fucked by the alpha male.

Player Consequences The dark side of long-term promiscuous behaviour in men is that if you do not opt for “protection” (as in a condom) every time, (and few men do) - over time the odds are that eventually

217 you will catch an STD, or you will have children or both. Dating young women around college age will increase your odds of catching and spreading chlamydia and other basic STD strains. Many of these are curable, but will cause some embarrassment and grief when you have to come clean about and notify your present and past sex partners that they may have a disease which they caught from you. Around older women, you are very likely to get genital herpes, for which there is no cure. This afflicts one in five of the adult population world-wide, so your odds of catching it are extremely high. Spreading STDs knowingly is going to harm your reputation, and coming clean before having sex is going to reduce the number of women who will have sex with you – they don't want an incurable disease. HIV and AIDS can also cause some concern and are even more difficult to deal with than herpes. Pregnancy is an issue that also is going to disrupt a player lifestyle – severely. Make certain that every girl you shag is somebody that you can get along with comfortably, because if they get pregnant, most industrialised countries now make ongoing financial support a legal requirement of the genetic

218 father. This is going to keep her in your life in some capacity for a long time and also affect your bank balance. It is also going to have a negative effect on your reputation if you don't provide emotional support for your offspring. Being a father is a responsibility which you should take seriously. These are all just other ways of saying that if you want to play and be a player, be aware of the long-term consequences. No matter how you may dislike the “feel” of a condom, it is preferable to getting stuck with unintended consequences of a short term fling. It's like playing Russian Roulette. You might win 1000 times. You only need to lose once.

Relationships After you've had sex and decided you'd like to do it again sometime, you're opening the door for a relationship. Remember that women like relationships. They also like to bring you into their world so that they can mold you into some man that they've imagined to be their ideal guy. This is where she will begin to use manipulation in earnest, and use access to her body to get you to do whatever she wants. I'm not going to tell you what to do. My goal was to get you

219 to this point. You can fend for yourself. Just be aware that she is going to first get you to submit to exclusivity – so that she's the only woman in your life – or at least the only woman you are having sex with. Then she will work on the subtle stuff like putting the toilet seat down, doing the dishes, etc. Age affects everybody, but women even more so. If you have chosen a woman based primarily on looks, those looks are going to change dramatically in her forties and fifties. Very few women come out of their fifties and post-menopause looking in any way “attractive”. If you find one who does, you will be the envy of men. Before you commit to living your life with her, you might wish to have a look at her parents and see if they have aged gracefully. But if it's any consolation, your own eyesight will probably start to deteriorate during these years. As long as she has other qualities that keep you happy, looks aren't everything. If you've found yourself a woman that you're happy with, you might enjoy playing along and getting more involved. But you should maintain your manhood and confidence – to the point that you are always able to walk away. This keeps her in line and can help to assert your shrinking dominance as she subtly manipulates you into being her husband. Otherwise you are

220 surrendering control and becoming submissive and giving her the dominant role in the relationship. Women have been practising this technique for millions of years, so at some point you may lose control of the relationship. You will have to decide whether you're OK with this or not. If you're happy – enjoy your life. My work is done. You can continue to use your alpha male powers and seduction techniques to further your career and strive for the fullest and most enjoyable life you are able. Never stop learning and exploring. Always strive to get better. This will keep her around and keep your life exciting as the chemical soup of lust gives way to the normalcy of married life. If you're not happy being in an exclusive relationship and in a shrinking dominant role – keep her sexually fulfilled anyway. Her peer network and your viral marketing will continue to provide you new opportunities – even if she finds a way to keep you out of the clubs and singles bars. You'll keep finding opportunities as long as you are looking for them. Be aware that you can also use your male power to pursue any kind of lifestyle you wish – including open relationships and even a modern day harem. Do not submit to a world where you

221 are unhappy. It is your world. You are in control. It can be any world you wish it to be. Just picture the life you wish to live - and live it. That my friend – is power. Above all – have a wonderful life.

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Epilogue I hope you have enjoyed this introduction to seduction theory, which is by no means comprehensive but should still provide you the basic tools to achieve any level of seduction competency you desire. I would like to close with some personal thoughts. This book was intended to start you on a journey and show you that the whole mode of “dating” and seduction to which we've been accustomed simply doesn't work any more. Perhaps it never did. Likewise, even though some of this was covered in this book, the whole concept of going out with the goal of getting laid is obsolete. Manipulation is a mind game for beta males. I wish to open your eyes to the coming revolution in sexual behaviour amongst humans - as we return to a closer alignment with our animal instincts. There are many of us who have been involved in the “seduction community” for a long period of time who are probably living in a completely different world than you. We interact with those around us, we make friends, we have mind blowing sex

223 when it suits us. People often do things to please us – and vice versa. We don't even think much about the details any more. Women like to be around us. Just like us, they feel the old rules just don't work any more and see the “game” as an obsolete activity. They often become more or less a permanent part of our lives as it suits them - and all we have done is to be ourselves and pursued our interests; confident and assured. Join us. Mike Macgirvin