ICELT
Language Task 3 3rd June, 2016
You You are required to identify and and correct the errors in a sample of of written work from two learners who are at dierent levels and provide appropriate feedback for the learners.
I hereby declare that the attached assinment is my own work and unde unders rsta tand nd that that if I am susp suspec ectt of pla plaia iari rism sm or ot othe her r form form of cheatin! my work will be referred to the board in Cambride! which may result in my bein suspended from the course. "ame#
$%&' C%("T# )*+ words
INTRODUCTION
In order to achieve the purposes of this task, I chose to analyze a piece of writing from a pre-intermediate learner (CEFR !" and an intermediate learner (CEFR #$"% &he first one is a twelve-year-old girl who has 'een studying English since she was % )he is at level ! now% )he is very fluent 'ut still lacks accuracy in writing and speaking% &he second learner is an adult who has 'een studying English for some time and is at level #$% )he is always willing to take risks and to use new language% &herefore, she is very fluent, 'ut also lacks accuracy when writing and speaking% SAMPLE 1 Rationale
I chose to 'egin my feed'ack to *ariana+s *ariana+s tet with positive positive comments on her work% ccording to Reilly and Reilly (!./!", young learners 0need positive feed'ack, to have their efforts praised, praised, and to have their skills recognized+% recognized+% &hey also state that 0it is important that tets with mistakes are not seen as failed pieces of writing, 'ut as a natural stage in the writing process+ (!./!$"% &he task set to students was 'ased on a reading they did in class, which had tets talking a'out unusual schools% s a follow up, they had to research and write a similar tet a'out another school they found% *ariana was very creative using a fictional school and showed much interest in the topic 'y looking up new words, such as 0wand+ or 0'roomstick+% &his aspect not only made her tet richer, 'ut also improved it% lthough they did not have preparation for the writing during the lesson, she was a'le to organize her ideas well% 1owever, in order to make her tet more coherent, I suggested she listed more su'2ects taught at the school, since she had mentioned only one, giving the idea that that was the only one there% I highlighted some language inaccuracies and listed them 'elow my comments, so as to help her to go through her mistakes and correct them% I used correction sym'ols in order to avoid, as 1armer states, 0an a'undance of red ink (3" and to encourage students think a'out what the mistake is, so that they can correct corre ct it themselves+ (!4/$$$"% (!4/$$$"% I 'elieve that reflecting refle cting on their own mistakes empowers students to self-learn and that they learn more effectively (C15, !$"%
In addition, I only chose to highlight the language she would 'e a'le to correct herself% *oreover, for some mistakes, as 1armer (!4/$$!" suggests, I chose to refer to a 'ook, so she she woul would d know know wher wheree to look look for for them them%% &he &he adva advant ntag age, e, accor accordi ding ng to him, him, is that that 0it 0it encourages them to look at the information with a purpose in mind% &hey will learn as they correct+% For For thos thosee part partss wher wheree I 'eli 'eliev evee 6 7 mist mistak akes es were were a'ov a'ovee her her leve level, l, I chos chosee to reformu reformulate late them myself myself%% I also chose to reformu reformulate late those I consid considered ered slips, such as forgetting to use an indefinite article in a list% 1armer (!4/$$$" (!4/$$$" states that 0the student learns lea rns 'y comparing correct and incorrect versions+ and that it is 0etremely useful during drafting and re-drafting+% ll this considered, I 'elieve that *ariana will 'enefit from the correction% Firstly, she will know what aspects made her tet good so she can continue to work as such and it was the first first thin thing g focu focused sed on
6 7 the correct correction ion%% ccor ccordin ding g to 8ewis 8ewis and 1ill, 1ill, 0many 0many factors factors
contri'ute contri'ute towards the success or failure of the individual individual language language learner% 9ne of the most important, however, is pro'a'ly the confidence the learner has in his a'ility to succeed in the task ($:./:" Rationale is clear and well supported with reading% ;ell ;ell done< SAMPLE 2 Rationale
)imilarly to the previous sample, I chose to start responding to Fernanda+s tet, rather than than corr correct ectin ing g it% it% ccordi ccording ng to 1arm 1armer er,, when when we respo respond nd to a tet tet,, 0we 0we are not not only only concerned with the accuracy of their performance 'ut also = and this is crucial = with the content and design of their writing (!4/$"% &he tet she produced was a letter to her younger self, where she was supposed to reflect on her own childhood memories as if she was talking to herself% &herefore, I started feed'ack feed'ack 'y responding responding positively positively to her tet% s s 1armer states, in cases like this, it is 0vital to 'e encouraging and helpful rather than 2udgmental (!4/$$>"% Furthermore, Fernanda+s tet was well organized, the letter layout was clear, she was very creative and the tet was compelling% In terms of language feed'ack, I 'elieve that she is a'le to correct most of her mistakes, for they were in the ma2ority related to word position, spelling or grammar topics
she is already familiar with% ?rovided that, I listed them 'elow the the comments on the content so she could reflect on her own mistakes 'y asking her @uestions and using the correction sym'ols mentioned 'efore = it makes correction less intimidating (8ewis and 1ill, $:./:A"% For items $ and :, however, I chose to give eamples of the use of the language for her to understand the structure and then reformulate her sentences% &here was only one mistake that I chose to reformulate instead of leaving it for her to correct% &he reason why I did that in that case was 'ecause the pro'lem was 8$ interference and finding the collocation would 'e more time consuming% Reformulating for her to see the correct form and learn from it would 'e faster and 2ust as effective% ccording to 8ewis and 1ill, it can 'e 'etter than correcting ($:./:A"% s mentioned 'efore, Fernanda+s tet is rich in content and is very interesting% interest ing% )he can catch readers+ attention and is not afraid of making mistakes% s she has the necessary knowledge knowledge to reflect and correct them when pointed out, the annotated version of her tet is encouraging encouraging in terms of content content and shows her that she only needs to pay closer attention attention to her language% Rationale language% Rationale is clear and well supported with reading (:A ;9RB)" #I#8I9R?1D
#&ER, ndy% ndy% Evaluating your students% Richmond ?u'lishing, $::% 1R*ER, Geremy% 1ow to &each ;riting% ?earson Education 8imited, !4% 8E;I), *ichaelH 1I88, Gimmie% ?ractical &echni@ues for 8anguage &eaching% 8&?, $:.% REI88D, REI88D, GackieH REI888D, REI888D, anessa% anessa% ;riting ;riti ng with wi th childre ch ildren% n% 9J?, !.% JR, ?enny% Course in 8anguage &eaching/ &eaching/ ?ractice and &heory% Cam'ridge Jniversity ?ress, $:::%
;E#8I5K) C15, ?eggie% Empowering )tudents to )elf-learn% 5ational Jniversity of )ingapore% http/66'log%nus%edu%sg6eltwo6!$6>66empowering-students-to-self-learn6 (Retrieved on *ay !:th, !$A"% 5ice we'link, 'ut not relevant to the paper% paper%
??E5BI )ample $ (*ore< !" )ample !/ &eacher generated material%
)ample $/ 9riginal version
1ogwarts is a place that teaches you how you can do magic and you can 'e a witch or a wizard like 1arry 1arr y ?otter% &hey &hey have si 'ooks of 1arry ?otter% ll the students have to 'e eleven to eighteen years old to get in% If the student had magical a'ilities they gain a place at the school% Bon+t have test, 'ecause you are a wizard or no% ;hen a magical children 'orn, they write the names of they in a 'ook and the magical children gain a place to the 1ogwarts% Every student+s uniforms consist on a plain 'lack ro'es, protect gloves, a plain 'lack hat and a plain 'lack cloak% t the first years there you can+t have a 'roomstick 'roomstick,, this is a rule% Each students have a wand to do magic, 'ut each wand is different% &he students play a game, if they fly with a 'roomstick% In the class they do potion with the )nape teacher% &he e@uipaments are telescope, a wand and a @uill% &hey+re a lot of animals of 1ogwarts, they are a told, a cat and a rot% &he students stay at the school and go to your houses in summer% dora'le<<< Incredi'le for a $! year old% old % ($: words" )ample $/ Corrected version 1ogwarts school is a place that teaches (how you can" you to to do do magic (and" so you can 'e a witch or a wizard like 1arry ?otter% (&hey have" &here are are si ('ooks of 1arry ?otter" 1arry ?otter 'ooks% 'ooks % ll (the" students have to 'e from from eleven eleven to eighteen years old to get in% If (the" a (student" child (had" has magical a'ilities (he" they (gain a place at the school" get a place in the school%% (Bon+t have" &here isn+t a test, school a test, 'ecause you are either a a wizard or (no" not not%% ;hen a magical (children" child is 'orn, is 'orn, they write (the" their names (of they" in a 'ook and the magical (children" child (gain" gets gets a a place (to the" in 1ogwarts% (Every" (student+s" )tu )tuden dents+ ts+ uniform uniformss consist consist in (on" (a" plain 'lack ro'es, protective protective gloves, a plain 'lack hat and a plain 'lack cloak% (t" In the first year s (at" there you can+t have a 'roomstick H this is a rule% Each student(s" student(s" (have" has has a a wand to do magic, 'ut each wand is different% &he students play a game(, game (, if" where they fly with a 'roomstick% In (the" (the" classes classes they they do potions potions with ?rofessor (the" (the" )nape (teacher" (teacher"%% &he &he (e@uipaments" e@uipment list includes a (are" telescope, (are" telescope, a wand and a @uill% (&hey+re" &here are a lot of animals (of" at at 1ogwarts 1ogwarts(," (,"// (they are" a (told" toad toad,, a cat and a (rot" rat rat%% &he students stay at the school during the year and go (to your houses" home home in in summer%
)ample $/ nnotated version 1ogwarts is a place that teaches you how you can to do magic and $ you can 'e a witch or a wizard like 1arry 1arr y ?otter% &hey have! si 'ooks of 1arry 1arr y ?otter% ll the student studentss have to 'e
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eleven eleven to eighte eighteen en years old to get in% If the student student4 had.
magical magical a'ilities, a'ilities, they get into Hogwarts % gain gain a place place at the school% school% Bon+t have haveA test, 'ecause you are a wizard or no% ;hen a magical magical children : 'orn, they write the names of they$ in a 'ook and the magical children gain get a place at the$$ 1ogwarts% Every student+s$! uniforms consist on a $> plain 'lack ro'es, protect$4 gloves, a plain 'lack hat and a plain 'lack cloak% t $. the first year s there you can+t have a 'roomstick this is a rule% Each students $A have$ a wand to do magic, 'ut each wand is different% &he student studentss play play a game, game, if where they fly with a 'rooms 'roomstic tick% k% In the classes they do potions with the )nape teacher $% &he e@uipaments e@uipaments$: are a telescope, a wand and a @uill% &hey+re! a lot of animals of at 1ogwarts, they are a told !$, a cat and a rot !!% &he students stay at the school !> and go to your houses ho!e in summer%
;ell done, *ari< &his is a very good tet a'out 1ogwarts )chool< I also like 1arry ?otter 'ooks a lot so I really liked that you chose to write write a'out it< -
Dour tet tet is very well well written written and you you 'ring 'ring many intere interestin sting g details details from the the school< school< lso lso,, I am very very happ happy y to see that you used used many many new word wordss to like like 0wand 0wand+, +,
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0'roomstick+ and 0ro'es+< ood 2o'< I sugge suggest st that that you talk talk a little little more more a'out a'out the the su'2ec su'2ects ts they they study study ther there% e% I saw you you
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mentioned 0?otions+, so it would 'e interesting to list some others% I also liked liked that that you you listed listed the the animals animals that that you can can see there, there, 'ut 'ut aren+t aren+t thos thosee the pets pets
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students can have thereL &ry to re-write that% 8ook 8ook at the underli underlined ned parts parts and and try try to to correc correctt them/ them/
$% ;; ;;%% 0nd+ 0nd+ is used to add an an idea% ;hat ;hat word can can you use to show show resultL resultL !%6A%6!% % In English when we mean something 0eists+ we don+t use the ver' 0to have+% If you don+t remem'er it, check unit 4 in your *ore< $ 'ook% >% ;ord missing there%
4%6.% ;; If 0the student have+ or if 0a child has+ magical a'ilitiesL % % Bo you use no to make negatives of ver'sL ;hat+s the one we use for thatL % % Is children a word in the singular or pluralL Can you use 0a+ and a word in the plural formL :% ;ord missing there% $% ;;% ;;% ;hat+s the possessive ad2ective corresponding to 0they+L $$% % Bo we use 0the+ 'efore proper nounsL $!% % ll students at the schoolL *ake it plural and use possessive 0s% $>% % &he word you are talking a'out is 0ro'es+% Bo you use the article 0a+ with pluralL $4% )% &his is not the correct word for 0protetora+% Check a dictionary% $.% % Bo you remem'er the triangle with the time prepositions 0at, on, in+L ;hen do we use 0at+L nd when we are talking a'out years, which one do we useL $A%6$% % Jse the singular form after the word 0each+% $% ;9% Check where to put 0teacher+% $:% )%6% &hat is an uncounta'le noun% Dou Dou can try to write this sentence s entence again% !$% )% !!% )% !>% ;hen do they stay at schoolL s choolL reat encouraging feed'ack and correction% correction %
)ample !/ 9riginal version Bear me, I+m writing for you to eplain something% I know that you have afraid of the 'ad witch of the ;izard of 9z movie, 'ut is 2ust a movie
and witches don+t eist in the real world (sometimes eist, 'ut you will learn how to finish it"% Dou Dou love ?atrick )wayze and you love him at the Birty Birt y Bancing movie = you won+t have this guy in your life, 'ut you can look for a handsome guy, good dancer and honest man like l ike him% I know you think that your dad is a superhero, 'ut he isn+t for real% 1e looks like Christopher Reever, 'ut he isn+t him% #ut he could 'e a hero for you, if you want and 'elieve in it, 2ust give a chance for him% I know too that you love Chi@uititas Chi@uititas and you want to 'e a part of this team, 'ut 'elieve me, most part of this actors will make only one soap opera and 2ust one actress will keep her carreer on &% nd a'out Fernando Collor, please, forget it<< &here were too many guys more 'eautiful than him and more intelligent too% #elieve me, in the future, you will hate him and think that he is one of the most ugly man in the world% Follow your heart, listen your mom, and please, stop eat too many chocolats< ;ith love, Fernanda, the older you%
(!>! words"
)ample !/ Corrected version Bear me, I+m writing (for" (for" you you to eplain something% I know that you (have" are are afraid afraid of the 'ad witch $of the ;izard of 9z (movie" (movie",, 'ut it it is is 2ust a movie and witches don+t eist in the real world (sometimes (eist" they do, do, 'ut you will learn how to (finish it" deal with them"% them"% Dou love ?atrick )wayze and you love d him (at the" in Birty Bancing (movie" - you won+t have this guy in your life, 'ut you can look for a handsome (guy" (guy",, good good dancer dancer and honest man like him% I know you think that your dad is a superhero, 'ut he isn+t for real% 1e looks like Christopher Reever, 'ut he isn+t% isn+t% #ut he could 'e a hero for you, if you want and 'elieve him to 'eH 2ust 'eH 2ust give (a chance for him" him a chance% chance% 1 FROM
I also also know know (too" (too" that that you love Chi@uititas Chi@uititas and you want to 'e a part of (this team" the cast, cast, 'ut 'elieve me, most part of (this" those actresse actressess will only (make" (only" 'e in in one one soap opera and 2ust one actress will (keep" continue her (carreer" career on &% nd a'out Fernando Fernando Collor, please, forget a'out it< it< &here were (too" so many (guys" (guys" more more ('eautiful" attractive guys (than guys (than him" and more intelligent 6 7 too% #elieve #elieve me, me, in the the future, future, you (will" are going to hate to hate him and think that he is one of the (most ugly" ugliest (man" men in the world% Follow your heart, listen to to your your mom, and please, stop eat ing so (many" (chocolats" much chocolate<< chocolate ;ith love, Fernanda, the older you%
)ample !/ nnotated version Bear me, I+m writing for $ you to eplain something% I know that you have ! afraid of the 'ad witch of the ;izard of 9z movie, 'ut > is 2ust a movie and witches don+t don+t eist in the real world (sometimes (sometimes eist4, 'ut you will learn how to finish it."% Dou love ?atrick )wayze and you love " him at A the Birty Bancing movie = you won+t have this guy in your life, 'ut you can look for a handsome guy , good dancer and honest man like him% I know you think that your dad is a superhero, 'ut he isn+t for real% 1e looks like Christopher Reeve, 'ut he isn+t him% #ut he could 'e a hero for you, if you want and 'elieve in it, 2ust give a chance cha nce for f or : him% I know too $ that you love Chi@uititas and you want to 'e a part of this team $$, 'ut 'elieve me, most part of this $! acto ac tors rs $> will !a#e only $e in one soap opera and 2ust one actress will keep$4 her carreer $. on &% nd a'out Fernando Collor, please, forget it<< &here were too $A many guys $ more 'eautiful$ than him$: and more intelligent intelligent too% #elieve me, in the future, future, you will! hate him and think that he is one of the most ugly !$ man!! in the world% Follow your heart, listen your mom, and please, stop eat !> too so many!4 chocolats!.< ;ith love,
Fernanda, the older you%
(!>! words"
;ell done<< I found you tet very sweet and funny< I really en2oyed reading it and it made me think if my own younger self (Especially with the ?atrick )wayze part< 1aha" -
I was very happ happy y that that you shared shared perso personal nal thing thingss which which made made the tet tet very en2oy en2oya'le a'le%%
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lso, it is very easy to read and to understand, even not knowing you that wellH lso, you used the format format of of the letter and you connected connected your your ideas ideas very very well, well, closing closing
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it with some advice% reat idea< I have have here some some thing thingss for you you to check check (find (find a little little glossa glossary ry of the the sym'ol sym'olss at the end"/
$% &his &his cons constr truc ucti tion on in Engl Englis ish h woul would d 'e 0I writ writee some someon onee some someth thin ing+ g+ or I writ writee !% >% 4% .% A% % % :%
something to someone+% ;;%% ;hat+s ;; ;hat+s the ver' that that goes goes with afraidL Is it 0have+L 0have+L M N Do Dou need need a su' su'2ec 2ect% t% ;;%% ;hat auiliary ;; auiliary ver' could could you you use to avoid avoid repetitio repetition n of 0eist+L 0eist+L L* I don+t don+t @uite @uite get get what you mean mean thereL thereL &ry &ry to rephrase rephrase that part% part% ;;%% ;hat+s ;; ;hat+s the the prepositi preposition on for for 0movies+ 0movies+LL Dou are listing listing @ualities @ualities in a man% man% Bo you you really need 0guy+ 0guy+ thereL MN 5orm 5ormall ally y in Engl Englis ish h you you 0giv 0givee some someon onee some someth thin ing+ g+,, so you 0giv 0givee your your fathe fatherr a
chance+ $% ;; ;;%% 0&oo 0&oo++ normally normally goes at the end of a sentence% sentence% ;hat is a synonym that we use in the middle of the sentenceL $$% $$% ;; ;;%% ;hat+s ;hat+s the word for a group of people who work on a movie or & show, show, for eampleL 5ote that after a movie finishes, this word comes on top of the list of names% $!% % Jse plural% lso, lso, this refers to something something in the past, so what+s what+s the demonstrative demonstrative that refers to distant things in the pluralL (actors" $>% ;e ;eren+t ren+t the characters all girlsL ;hat+s ;hat+s the feminine of 0actor+"L $4% ;; ;;%% $.% )% $A% ;; ;;%% 0&oo+ 0&oo+ indicates indicates an ecessive ecessive amount% amount% ;hat+s another another intensifier intensifier with a more positive meaningL $% ;9% ;here do you put nouns nouns in EnglishL EnglishL $% ;;% Can you think of another another ad2ective to descri'e a guy+s appearanceL appearanceL $:% $:% ;9% ;9% !% % ;hat future future time is used when we are sureL Can you find other eamples eamples in your tetL
!$% % Is that how you make the superlative form of a short ad2ectiveL !!% Jse plurals after superlative% ;hat+s ;hat+s the plural plural of 0man+L !>% % fter fter stop, use infinitive -ing% !4% !4% % !.% )% ) ;9 ;; L*
?ro'lem with grammar )pelling pro'lem ;ord order ;rong word ?ro'lem with meaning (what did you want to
MN
say thereL" ;ord missing%
