SERANGOON STARS ESSAY PUBLICATION 2014
Serangoo n Se conda ry School
Inside Front Cover (Bank)
FORWARD
HOW TO USE THE SR StaRs ESSAY PUBLICATION Read through the Publication carefully and see what you can learn from your peers’ work. The essays here are not perfect, but they do have many good qualities that you can try to emulate. Observe the way the writers structure their essays, develop interesting plots and hold the reader’s interest throughout the essay or story. Notice how they use appropriate vocabulary, adjectives and adverbs, humour, dialogues and other writing techniques. Do not memorise the essays, as you may reproduce an essay that does not actually answer the question concerned, even if the topic may appear similar. Most importantly, continue to READ good articles and PRACTISE planning and writing essays in the time you have left before your next English Language exam. All the best!
Mr Richard Chia Vice-Principal Serangoon Secondary School
CONTENTS 1
1SD2
Tan Chee Leng
Describe a time when you were proud of an achievement
2
1SD2
Rhea Sadasivan
A fun and meaningful event that I took part in
3
1SD3
JeanIra
Planninganoutingtothezoo
4
1SD4
Christine Audrey A. Bautista Class outing to river safari
5
1SD4
Leonard Low Hong Hin
Informal letter: plans for a june holiday class outing
6
1SD4
TohJiaxin
Classoutingtoriversafari
7
1SD6
Danica Abuan
Writeaboutan occasion when itwas necessary to tell the truth whatevertheconsequences.
8
1SD6
A letter on a group outing
9
1SD7
Melinie Jayne Chistopher Vickneswari d/oThamil Chelvam
10
1SD7
11
2H2
Lee Zi Rui
12
2H4
Ammar
Write about some of the things which make you feel proud of your country.
13
2H4
Ammar
Shouldwebuildaswimmingpool?
14
2H6
Desiree Teo
Allocation of new room in community club
15
2H6
Sree Krishna Surya Praharshitha Tallapragada
Allocation of the new room
16
2H7
Jefrey Lam
Feedback on the use of the new room
17
3I1
Nicole Kanyarat
An account of a visit to Universal Studios Singapore with my best friend.
18
3I1
Viknesh Sigamani
An informal letter to a cousin sharing your experiences participating in a talent search competition – ‘SERANGOON STARS 2014’
19
3I4
Raziq Hazim B Husin
‘Close monitoring of teenagers’ activity on the internet can help to reduce cybercrimes.’ How far do you agree with this statement?
20
3I6
Rishika Pundrik
‘It is difcult to strike a balance between school and personal life?’ Do you agree?
21
3I6
TANG JIAEN
Speech: Get condent
22
3I7
Deemithra
Recommendation of effective communication workshops
23
3I7
Sumedha Pundrik
To be successful, hard work is more important than talent. Do you agree?
24
3I7
Lee Yan Yee
Get a boost for your speaking and listening skills
25
4N1
Jared Lim Jun Ze
Functional writing - writing a letter of job application
26
4N1
Justin Ng Liang Kiat
Functional writing - letter of application
27 28
4N2 4N2
Nasah bte Jumat
‘It is entirely up to me to decide my future.’ Do you agree? Speech: Nominating a schoolmate as head prefect
30
4N2
Nur Aqilah bte Muzini
31
4N3
Cynthia Jean
32
4N3
Nur Fatimah
33
4N4
Jared Goh
34
4N4
Jirakit
35
4N5
Charmaine Goh Shi Min
Proposal for promoting June holidays activities for students to encourage participation in conservation programmes
36
4N6
Ethan Liu
Should young people take care of their parents when they are old?
38
4N6
JiniTeo
What doyou youinconsider to be the most signicant change in your life? How has this change helped your personal growth?
40
4N6
NG GUO HAO
42
4N7
Czaryna Kaye Mendoza Clemente
‘Character development is the most important aspect of education in this modern society.’ Do you agree?
43
4N7
Yang Nanyang
‘Character development is the most important aspect of education in this modern society.’ Do you agree?
44
5E1
Lee Zhi Wei
‘Character development is the most important aspect of education in this modern society.’ Do you agree?
45
5E2
BeverlyAw
Shahid
Angel Png Chin Wen
A time when I felt proud of myself Write about a time when you felt proud of yourself The Internet is a blessing to people. What are your views?
‘I knew it was the right thing to do.’ Write about what happened when you had to make a
difcult decision which pleased some people and upset others. Speech:Annual election for head prefect ‘I knew it was the right thing to do.’ Write about what happened when you had to make a
difcult decision which pleased some people and upset others. Report on activities organized by Public Utilities Board
What do you consider to be the most signicant change in your life. How has this change helped you in your personal growth?
Should children take care of their parents when they are old?
What do you consider to be the most signicant change in your life. How has this change helped you in your personal growth?
1SD2
Tan Chee Leng
Describe a time when you were proud of an achievement My friend, Kelly and I, were the only ones from our class on the running track. We
were running for our class and we were in the second place. In the rst place was a girl from another class. She could run so fast that we could not catch up with her. We were perspiring a lot as we had run quite a long distance. It was the school sports day and our Physical Education teacher had chosen 6 girls from our class to take part in this competition. Kelly and I were two of the six, there were three others still trailing trailing: at the back, trying as hard as they could to catch up like how Kelly and I were trying left behind desperately to catch up with the girl in the pole position. Kelly and I communicated via hand signals to speed up so that we could catch up with the girl ahead of us. We sped up a little as we wanted to leave some energy for the last dash. Finally, the girl who was leading slowed down to agrinding halt as she was grinding halt: already out of breath. Kelly and I were both in the rst place and our running pace were an abrupt stop the same. We used all our energy and sped up even faster as we were reaching the
nishing line. The teachers at the nishing line were all encouraging us to not give up intense: exciting as we were already reaching the end of theintense race. Finally, Kelly and I reached the nishing line. Surprisingly, both of us came in at the same time. So, both of us were in the rst place. The girl from the rst class came in second and one of our classmates came in third. The teachers at the nishing line passed us some cold drinks and tissues to cool ourselves down. When all the competitors had arrived, we had to shake hands and say ‘’thank you’’ to one another as a sign of sportsmanship. Then it was time for the trophies to be given out. The teacher announced Kelly’s and my name over the microphone and we stood proudly at the platform where our school principal gave us our trophies and shook our hands, congratulating us. After the prizes were given out we headed back to school. When we reached our classroom, everyone was talking about the race and we were all very happy because our
class had won the rst place in the level. Our form teacher gave out some refreshments and settled us down. Finally, our form teacher praised the six girls, including Kelly and me. We were allowed to enjoy more snacks as rewards. When our form teacher released the whole class, we rushed home to tell our parents the good news. I proudly showed my parents the trophy that I had won. They were all very proud and elated. I was very proud and I found the event very memorable and elated: enjoyable as I got to learn more about sportsmanship and have fun and exercise at thevery happy same time. Teacher’s Comment
Good vocabulary use makes the excitement of the race palpable: it could be readily seen, heard, sensed and felt because of the language that is used to create the atmosphere. Chee Leng also addressed her emotions before, during and after the race. Good effort.
1
1SD2
Rhea Sadasivan
A fun and meaningful event that I took part in Finally, the day arrived! I was so excited for this day. It was the school event that my friends and I had signed up for. It was the car washing event. My friends and I thought that we should sign up for this school event because it sounded really exciting. This event was held to raise funds for the school. When I reached my school, no one was there at all. It was quiet like a graveyard. I quiet like a was way too excited for this event. I quickly went over to the area where the car wash graveyard: was going to being held. I saw all my friends waiting for me. The teacher-in-chargeto describe of this event was telling us about how we can wash a car properly. Soon, we startedextreme quietness washing cars that were already there. One by one, cars kept coming in. There was a ‘meet-the-parents’ session going on at the same time. Soon, I felt really very exhausted. Washing the cars was not as easy as I thought. My friend took a hose and started spraying water at me. I was drenched from head to toe. The teacher-in-charge saw us fooling around and reprimanded us, telling us that we did not have much time left. It was fun washing the cars but, at the same time, tiring too.
Time just ew by ever so quickly. Two hours were over. The number of cars coming in heaved a sigh started to decrease. In exahastion, all of us heaved a sigh of relief . I was happy that of relief: To feel very this car event was nally over! The teacher-in-charge applauded usafter for our work. suddenly Parents also wrote in good feedback on how clean their cars were the hard car wash. happy because something It was indeed a fun experience! I have learnt that washing cars was not a piece of cakeunpleasant has and that sheer determination is important for anyone to achieve their goals. not happened or has happened. sheer: absolute
Teacher’s Comments Good use of some phrases like “heaved a sigh of relief” and words like “applauded” which gave a richness to the text that simpler words just cannot. In addition, idiomatic phrase such as ‘quiet as a graveyard’ was used as a suitable description of the surroundings. Good effort made in recounting an event.
2
1SD3
Jean Ira
Planning an outing to the zoo Blk 397 Hougang Ave 3 Singapore 530397 #06-241 30 May 2014 Dear Aunt Jane How are you? Are you doing well? How are Amin and Andy? Are they doing well in their studies? I miss them very much! By the way, I am writing to suggest an outing as a birthday treat for Amin and Andy at the zoo for “Jungle Breakfast with wild life.” We can meet at the zoo on 5 June 2014 which is a day before their birthday. The visit will take about 1 hour and 30 minutes. See? It’s worth it. I know Amin and Andy have not had the experience of having a breakfast with an orang utan, right? This is an award-winning breakfast programme, appropriately set at the zoo’s timber lodge – inspired by Ah Meng Restaurant which promises inspired by: a truly eye-opening experience. The breakfast includes international and local derived from favourites, tropical fruits and juices and plenty of fresh air and greenery. The orang utan family will make a spectacular entrance! Isn’t that amazing? Amin and Andy are surely going to be pleased to go there as I know they love orang utans! They even have a collection of stuffed toys right? They will also get an opportunity to learn more about each and every member of the wild forest family. Believe or not, you can even have a family photo with the charming apes!
eye-opening: refreshing and unforgettable Appropriate and good use of tone for the context
I really hope that you would come for this outing. The outing can also serve as a family reunion! Isn’t that great? I look forward to seeing you! Bye! Best regards Jean Ira
Teacher’s Comments:
This informal letter has fullled the task requirements clearly with sufcient elaboration. The tone set out by the student is inviting and persuasive, meeting the objectives of wrting with an appropriate purpose and awareness of context and audience.
3
1SD4
Christine Audrey A. Bautista
Class outing to river safari Blk 200 Hougang Avenue 9 #07-70 Singapore 330 200 8 May 2014 Dear John Hi! How are you? I hope that you are doing well in your studies. I am writing this letter to share with you more about an outing that I have planned for the coming June holidays. As you know, the June holidays are round the corner and I think that it will be a great opportunity for us to meet up with our ex-classmates. I have decided on the newly opened River Safari as the venue for our outing because most of us are nature enthusiasts. We can meet on Wednesday, 15th of June 2014, at 9 am. It would be good for us to meet at Ang Mo Kio Bus Interchange and, from there, we can board the bus 138 together. We must ensure that we are hydrated well by drinking lots of water. All of us should wear a comfortable attire as we will beon foot most of the time. Bring along your on foot: sunglasses, sunblockorlotion to protect yourself the sun’s rays.with If it the rains, bring Itwalking along your umbrella poncho. Remember not from to share your food animals! is harmful to feed the animals and we should avoid doing so.
The rst attraction that we could explore during the outing is the ‘Amazon Flooded Forest aquarium’. We cantake in the beautiful scenery of the different kinds of shes take in: and aquatic animals in the aquarium. We could also take pictures of ourselves withto absorb and the shes inside. I’m sure we will be able to share our thoughts and opinions with our appreciate friends on the various shes found in the aquarium. The second attraction that we could explore is the Amazon River Quest boat ride. We can admire the beautiful scenery surrounding us while we are on a boat. We could also catch a glimpse of different kinds of animals, including some endangered species catch a glimpse: while we are on the boat. It would also be a perfect opportunity for us to chit-chat and get to see/ catch catch up with our classmates. While having fun, we should be prepared to get wet at sight of the Amazon River Quest boat ride! I hope that you are just as excited as I am. Do join us! I look forward to hearing your opinion about the outing. I am sure that we will have a whale of a time there! See you! Bye. Regards Christine
Teacher’s Comments:
Christine has written a letter that is clear and succinct. Intended to persuade the reader, she skilfully some words appropriately to her advantage. In addition, her letter is focused on the requirements of the question to heroffriend of the clear advantages of her of selection of theto place visit. fullconvince awareness the purpose, audience and context the question full of the taskOverall, well. she has shown
4
1SD4
Leonard Low Hong Hin
Informal letter: Plans for a june holiday class outing Block 336C, Hougang Avenue 9 #18-882 Singapore 530965 15 May 2014 Dear John,
I hope this letter nds you well. I have planned an outing that might be of interest to This effective intro you as the June holidays are fast approaching. Not long ago, a newly established placebriey includes which we could visit captured my attention and I’m glad to share this with you. I do hope the main aim and that all of our classmates will join us. purpose as stated in the question. This new attraction, The River Safari, has a great diversity of wildlife species. There are various activities which would surely beckon us to try them out. The approaching beckon: to lure, holidays would certainly serve as a great opportunity for our class to catch up with one entice someone another and to strengthen friendships. I do know that some of us are nature enthusiasts and I’m sure most of us would not mind experiencing the unique environment and surroundings. The brushing of leaves, awe-inspiring animals and wildlife will surely enchant and keep us excited. What do you think? The price of the tickets is affordable with an on-going promotion for bulk ticket purchases; we could grab this perfect opportunity to organise our class outing. The River Safari opens its doors at 9am and closes at 6pm. The quickest way to get to there is to ride the ‘MRT’, taking the circle line, alighting at Ang Mo Kio station and transfer to a bus service number 138 thattakes us directly to the attraction.
bulk: bundled, with a number of something
takes us: transports you to There are several choices of attractions that we could consider visiting. Since we somewhere else. would probably have insufcient time to experience all of them, picking two will be Note: most appropriate. Four popular attractions include the ‘Amazon River Quest boat ride’, (It is wrong to use ‘Giant Panda Forest’, ‘Rivers of the World Strolls’ and the ‘Amazon Flooded Forest‘bring us there’) Aquarium’. I would pick ‘Amazon River Quest boat ride’ and ‘Giant Panda Forest exhibit’ as they offer unique boat-riding experience and eye-catching pandas that would probably enthrall everyone. sure you have many friends, right, John? Bring them along enthrall: at your own freewill,I am more so that the nature lovers.’ captivate to and charm people We can take this discussion further. It would be nice to hear your thoughts about what I’ve suggested thus far. Ultimately, we should make decisions based on whattake this is good for the majority of our classmates! I am hopeful that we can make the most discussion suitable choice from the many activities and options available. May we enjoy our time together and relish the precious memories and valuable moments that we await us. further: talk more about something Do not forget to reply me. Hear from you soon. Best regards, Leonard Low Class 6A (2013)
relish: appreciate something with pleasure and enjoyment
Teacher’s Comments:
Leonard has written an effective personal/ informal letter to bring his suggestions across to his friend (or the reader) persuasively with the use of good choice of words, register, and tone. Taking on the role of the ‘friend’ of Leonard, one can certainly identify a sense of anticipation and excitement that run through the content when reading the letter. Ideas are presented succinctly, to the point, and the reminder to plan for a meaningful class outing experience was cleverly mentioned in the conclusion which does not harshly force nor insist on the ideas that were suggested. This is indeed a good model with words/ phrases that can be considered for other contexts of informal letter. 5
1SD4
Toh Jiaxin
Class outing to river safari Blk 556 Hougang Avenue 7 #07-701 901225 Dear John, The June holidays are approaching. I would like to plan an outing with our friends as we have not met for a really long time. We will be going to the River Safari for our excursion. It is really easy to get there and there will be two attractions I am sure that, like me, you would surely be keen to explore. To get to the River Safari, we would just need to take Bus 138 from Ang Mo Kio bus interchange or bus 927 from Choa Chu Kang interchange. Don’t forget to bring a water bottle to keep yourself hydrated and wear comfortable foot wear as we will be walking a lot. If you do not want to get a sun burn, remember to bring your sunglasses, sunblock or sunscreen. In case of bad weather, bring along an umbrella or poncho. Sharing of food with the animals is strictly not allowed. At River Safari, we will be exploring the ‘Amazon River Quest’ boat ride and the ‘Amazon Flooded Forest’ aquarium exhibit. Be prepared to get wet at the ‘Amazon RiverQuest’ boat ride. It would be really take theabout ‘Amazon Quest’ ride with close friends. We could chat with fun onetoanother how River life has beenboat while enjoying the beautiful scenery. We will also get to appreciate the outdoors and see a multitude multitude: a of different types of plants. The best thing of all is that I will nally get to use my new huge number of camera to capture the moment. At Amazon ooded forest aquarium exhibit, there something
would be a lot of different shes. There will be shes which are colourful, shes which are creepy and dangerous, and many more. I really cannot wait for the June holidays to approach. I have always wanted to do this
for such a long time and now my dream is nally going to come true. Please reply as soon as possible. Regards, Jiaxin
Teacher’s Comments:
All of the required points were addressed and elaborated sufciently. The tone is lively and warm. There is a personalised feel to the way Jia Xin addresses her friends. There is a variety of sentence structures that make the context and purpose come alive.
6
1SD6
Danica Abuan
Write about an occasion when it was necessary to tell the truth whatever the consequences. “Chirp! Chirp!” Chirped the birds. I woke up, my eyes half-opened. I tossed and turned on my bed, still dazed. The sun rays shone through the curtains, the white faint uffy dazed: distracted clouds blending nicely with the bright, blue sky. Suddenly, the door busted open and I was pulled towards the kitchen. “Mary! How long are you going to sleep?” my mother scolded me. I remembered that
today, I had a meeting with my best friend. I was already late. I quickly nished my breakfast and hurriedly dressed myself. I gave my mother a peck on the cheek and left the house. The soft breeze of the wind brushed through my hair. I had never felt this comfortable before. My friend, Sarah, was eagerly begging me, “Sarah! Forgive me as I was late...” I said sheepish: with guilt, embarassed sheepishly. “It is okay, I do not mind.” Sarah smiled at me. Sarah and I have been friends for a long time. She was the only friend I had in my school. No one bothered to befriend me. I was always in the shadow but when Sarah talked to me, there was light in front of me and I knew that there was hope that I would have a friend. “Mary! Look! It is so beautiful!” I can see the sparkles in her eyes. It was a necklace with a pendant you can put a picture inside.toI looked the price so and it was costly. I did not where have the money to buy it. I wanted giv e her at a necklace that she very will always remember our friendship. Instantly, a dark thought came from my mind. Sarah
was waiting for me to nish looking around. “Sarah, can you wait outside for a bit?” I asked. “Sure, take your time.” Sarah replied and left the store. I walked around the shop to avoid suspicion. I went back to the area where the necklace was. I opened my bag and took the pendant secretly. I looked around to see if there was someone around me. The area was clear and I left the store. I saw Sarah at the distance. She was looking at a cute teddy bear. I was glad that I left the store without anyone suspecting that I stole the necklace, or so I thought. As I ran or so I thought: to her, someone gripped my wrist. At that moment, the smallest guilt in my heart grewsomething that big. I knew that I was caught. I called to Sarah. Sarah turned to search for me and sheyou are mistaken was shocked with Sweat horror.started The cashier had avexed expression. Her eyebrows were with creased together. trickling down my cheeks. vexed: irritated “Madam, please take out the thing that you stole,” she said with a stern voice. The door and annoyed busted open and Sarah was standing there. I was panic-stricken. I was hesitant but I
took out the necklace. I was so terried. I explained the whole thing to the both of them. creased: became wrinkled “Madam, please do not steal next time or I will have to call the police.” I asked for forgiveness and luckily, I was forgiven. Sarah and I rushed out of the store. There was a tense atmosphere. I looked at Sarah who seemed displeased. I thought that our friendship was going to shatter at this moment but, miraculously, it did not. “Mary, I do not want to have a friend who steals,” she explained. She hugged me and whispered, “It is alright, I will always remember our friendship. But do not attempt to steal next time!” Those words made me burst out to tears. I felt so regretful. Sarah looked at me with a smile. I wiped off my tears and smiled back. I have learnt an important lesson. Do not do reckless things that will shatter your friendship with others. Teacher’s Comments
Many vivid descriptions were used, especially in describing thoughts and emotions when the writer was caught for stealing. It is a simply story that is straight to the point, yet effective and straight forward. 7
1SD6
Melinie Jayne Chistopher
A letter on a group outing Blk 123 Hougang Avenue 2 #09-456 Singapore 530123 8 May 2014 Dear John How have you been? You have not been attending school for the past two days. HopeIntroduction you are ne. Anyway, since you have not been in school, I thought I will write to you includes asking about my plan! I hope to have a class outing during the June holidays! Fun right? Let after the other me tell you more about it. person before mentioning the Guess where we are going to? River Safari! I chose this place as most of us like nature, purpose of letter. so we can go there for a unique experience. The date and time of this outing will be onTone is informal the 15 June 2014 from 10am to 5pm. All of us could meet at Ang Mo Kio train station at too. 9.30am before we board the bus 910 together to go to our destination.
The rst activity I chose is the Amazon River Quest Boat Ride. I chose this as it will be Activity with fun and we will get to see the different species of animals. Secondly, we will be goingdetailed on a boat. experience Many people our class never been on a boat before. of a rst-time forinthem. Also, have we would need to remember to bringSo an this extrawill setbeelaboration reasons. of clothes as we might get wet during the ride. The next activity I selected is the ‘Rivers of The World Strolls’. Sounds fun right? I chose this as we would get to see the different types of sea creatures. Haven’t you
been telling me that you have always wanted to see a jelly-sh? This will be a good experience for you to see it. This stroll will also help us with our June Holiday project about sea creatures. Do you like all my ideas? Hope you do! Anyway, remember to bring sunblock to avoid getting tanned and also an umbrella or a poncho just in case it rains. Hope you would come for this outing and all the best for your exams! Take care! Bye! Sincerely Melinie Teacher’s Comments Elaboration of reasons for each activity is detailed and relevant. The tone used throughout letter is informal, with the use of conversation markers to create a warm and friendly tone. There is awareness of the purpose of writing which is to persuade a friend to go along with the ideas proposed, and the audience – a close friend.
8
1SD7
Vickneswari d/oThamil Chelvam
A time when I felt proud of myself I was on my bed, reading my diary. My house was quiet and everyone was asleep. I could hear my clock ticking. Isquinted at the t iny words on the page, muttering, “I was squinted: so proud of myself… ”. The unforgettable incident ooded through my mind… to look with the eyes partly The school bell rang loudly. My friends were all very happy as it was time for dismissal.closed. “Okay class! Remember to do your homework and have a great weekend! Thank you!” mymy teacher Msbut Taynot said We thanked our teacher. wassomething a good day for the rest of friends, foraloud. me. My teacher had scolded meIt for which I did not do. I tried to explain to the teacher but she stopped me. Adding to that, none of my friends stood up for me. They did not even console me. I had a bad day. I was already walking to the bus stop to go home. As I was thinking about what happened on that thud: day, I heard a loudthud! a sound of a “What was that?” I asked myself in shock. I turned my head to see what it was. To myheavy blow or fall
horror, I saw an elderly woman on the oor with all her fruits scattered around her! From her facial expression, I could tell that she was in pain. No one went over to help her. IVivid description had learnt that we must help people when they are in need. So, without any hesitation,of scene engages I rushed to her with my fully-loaded bag. I knelt down to talk to her. She was trying toreader and moves help herself get up. When I held her hands to assist her, I was astonished to see thatthe plot along blood was oozing out from her elbow. I took a second to analyse the situation. She was rushing to get on her bus! If not, she would have missed it! My eyes widened and my jaws dropped in astonishment! I immediately shed out my Nokia hand phone from my bag and dialled shakylet hands. I said in to pain. her “No grandma! You are in‘995’ pain!with I cannot you goShe liketried that!to“. stop She me. was But groaning
The ambulance arrived in ten minutes. The paramedics applied rst aid and pulled out the stretcher. While they were doing that, I helped grandma to pick up her fruits and put it back into the plastic bag. Soon, the paramedics were done with the rst aid and took down my name, school and address, by that time, only three people came to help me out. The rest of them were watching. People surrounded the area and whispers could be heard. Soon, the crowd dispersed after the ambulance left with grandma in it. Once put on the stretcher, she was unconscious. I thought that she had lost a lot of blood and I was
lled with pity for her. Soon, everything just went back to normal. My bus came in a few minutes and I left for home. When I reached home, I narrated the story to my parents, explaining why I was late. When they understood that I helped an elderly woman, they hugged and kissed me on my cheeks. They said they were touched by the act of kindness. Thatforget compliment made my day! My bad day hadI still turned around! However, still could not the old grandma’s excruciating pain. could not believe the Iexcruciating: drama which unfolded before my eyes. Time ew past. The next day came. deep and extreme pain As per normal, I went to school and for morning assembly the next day. Suddenly, a teacher called me, “Are you Vicknes? Please sit near the stage.” I replied and I was unfolded: took nervous by then. “Why are they asking me to go there? Am I going to be punished?” I place questioned myself as I walked near the stage. The morning assembly started. “Pupils! Today I want to tell you something which touched my heart,” the principal said. I knew that it was about me. I smiled brightly as the principal called me up. He praised
me in front of the school! That made my day. It was the rst time that I felt this proud of myself. The feeling I experienced at that moment could not simply be expressed by mere words. Once I went back to my class, my friends shook my hands and congratulated me. “Well done!” they said. I asked my teacher how the principal heard of the news. She said it was a member of the public who witnessed it and informed the principal. I felt elated at that point of time. elated: very happy/ Memory of that day lingered in my mind for a long time. I learnt that it is true that “What overjoyed goes around, comes around’. If you help a person or do good things, good things will come in search of you. Teacher’s Comments
Vicknes has written a narrative essay that is clear and succinct. The plot is engaging. There is clear and vivid description of the scenes in her narration. She can further improve by using a variety of sentence structures. 9
1SD7
Shahid
Write about a time when you felt proud of yourself I was clearing the things in my bedroom when I found an old newspaper which had yellowed with age. I read the headlines – ‘Boy helped to prevent robbery’. After reading the headlines, I recalled an incident which happened ten years ago. A golden glow spread across the sky as the sun chased the clouds away. Shadows of all shapes and sizes could be seen on the ground as the trees lent shade to the pedestrians walking to and fro. I was on my way to the market with my mother to buy some groceries. When we reached our destination, my mother went over to the vegetables section. The sounds of people bargaining with the vegetable seller were very loud. While people were busy, a suspicious man walked slowly towards an elderly lady. I noticed that he was standing too close to the elderly lady. She was so busy browsing through the vegetables that she was oblivious to her surroundings. The man slowly
put his hand into her handbag and shed out her wallet. It dawned on me that he was stealing her wallet. I immediately shouted, “That man stole the lady’s wallet!” Everyone turned and looked at him. His face turned as white as a sheet of paper. With the wallet in his hands, he turned took outThe my pickpocket mobile phone pocket called the police. and Theydashed arrived away. within Iminutes. hadfrom beenmy caught by and some of the men who gave chase. They took the wallet from him and returned it to the elderly lady. The pickpocket was then brought to the police. Theyapprehended him and brought apprehended: him into a police car. A policeman came over to me and thanked me for my vigilance. to take into custody The elderly lady thanked me countless times. I felt very proud of myself that day. vigilance: “Harry, are you done clearing your bedroom?” My mother’s voice could be heard. Iwatchfulness realised that I had been daydreaming. “I will be done soon!” I answered my mother. That incident makes me proud to this day. I continued clearing my things with a grinning ear to ear.
Teacher’s Comments: Appropriate words and phrases were used in describing the emotions and actions of the characters. This story has clear narrative components and an interesting plot.
10
2H2
Lee Zi Rui
The Internet is a blessing to people. What are your views? Today, many people use the Internet for a variety of reasons. They nd it convenient, Listing – give 3 free and useful. They visit the websites to conduct businesses, chat with friends and examples play online games. However, users must remember that the Internet is not entirely a blessing. It has its pros and cons. Firstly, the Internet is accessible to a wide audience. Students access websites such as Asknlearn or LEAD.com for their homework and school projects. Research work for projects is easy with the use of the Internet as information can be obtained quickly. On the other hand, there are websites which are not suitable for children and teenagers. These include adult-rated websites on pornography, gambling and violence. Such disturbing websites, when accessed intentionally or accidentally by children and youths, can become traumatic experiences for them. Therefore, the Internet is not traumatic- If entirely safe. an experience is traumatic, Another attraction of the Internet is the availability of entertainment. Many users, young it causes one and old, relax themselves by listening to music, playing online games and watchingsevere emotional videos. The Internet has relieved boredom of many youths and brought much pleasureshock and upset to them. Unfortunately, an increasingly noticeable number of them become addicted to the online games on the Internet. These youths are so obsessed with the games that obsessed they forgo their sleep. Consequently, their academic results and relationships with their- unable to stop friends sufferand greatly. It isinimportant that Internet users make anthinking about something; too effort to and bondfamily more members with their peers families the real world. Hence, entertainment interested in from the Internet must be enjoyed with caution and self-discipline. something Lastly, the Internet has many social networks for people to make more friends. Facebook, Instagram ,Twitter,Whatsapp and Tumblr are well-known. These sites are Simile-like of great help when people feel lonely or bored as they can just chat with their friendswildfre- If online. They do not need to be together in a particular location to keep in touch. Many news spreads close ties are forged through the social networks but many relationships are beinglike wildre, it abused too. Cyberbullying has led to suicides of innocent victims. Personal informationquickly affects or can spread like wildfre online. Bank accounts can be hacked andlives are ruined by becomes known rumours that became viral on the Internet. Thus social networks are not always a boon by more and more people but a bane too. In conclusion, I believe that the Internet has its advantages and disadvantages. People boon- something must use it correctly and wisely so that it is a blessing and not a curse in their daily that is very helpful and improves the lives. quality of life bane- a cause of continuous trouble or unhappiness
Teacher’s Comments Zi Rui has presented the pros and cons on the use of the Internet convincingly. The essay is well organised – each paragraph contains a topic sentence, followed by two sides of the issue concerned and a suitable link to conclude the paragraph. Good range of connectors used which adds to the coherence of theessay.
11
2H4
Ammar
Write about some of the things which make you feel proud of your country. There are many things that make me feel proud of my country, Singapore. Singapore is home to many races and various religious and cultural groups who live in harmony. The greenery makes me feel proud. Thearoma from the owers makes me rejuvenated. aroma: a The owers remind me of the beautiful paradise. The rose especially makes me think of distinctive the feelings of the heart of the people I love. The green trees are the source of energy pleasant smell for everyone. The green trees provide us air to breathe. The fruits from trees also remind me that I was the one who planted the tree. That is why greenery makes me rejuvenated: feel proud of my country. make (someone) feel better. Tourist attractions like the Singapore Flyer, the Merlion and especially Marina Bay Sands. The Singapore Flyer is a wheel that turns around and is humongous. The sightings from the Singapore Flyer itself are beautiful. The Merlion the shows people that Singapore is a country with pride and the ability to succeed. The Marina Bay Sands is the largest and most number of tourist attractions. It is a building with a huge ship on it. It makes me proud that people from all around the world visits Singapore. The last thing that makes me proud of my country is the National Day celebration. Everyone is hooked on it for a day. It makes me feel that everyone is proud of their country and wants to celebrate it.
The National Day Parade consists of marching, jet planes, ying, parachutists and many more. The marching is from the band, the army, SCDF, police and tanks. Besides marching, jet planes are the best. There will be a smoked ag of Singapore and the jet planes will y through it. Parachutists are the most enjoyable to watch. Four parachutists will jump down a helicopter and will pull their parachute when they are reaching the ground. There will be camera on one of the parachutists and we will be able to watch the parachutists having to reach the ground in a safe but fun way. This is why I am proud of my country.
Teacher’s Comments Ammar was able to present his points systematically. He would score higher if he included more sophisticated words to replace words such as fun as these words generally do not show the depth of the feelings
12
2H4
Ammar
Block 919 Hougang Avenue 4 #03 – 451 Singapore 530919 8 May 2014 The Principal 11 Upper Serangoon View Singapore 119311 Dear Mr Singh Should we build a swimming pool? I am Ammar Hammani from class 2H4, President of the Prefectorial Board. I heard the news about the proposing to build an indoor swimming pool within the school. I would like to express my opinion that I agree on the construction of the indoor swimming pool. I agree on the construction of the indoor swimming pool because students can stay
t. Students will not get sick easily as they are healthy and are active. For example, students will be exposed to more activities instead of merely following a regimented regimented: very routine that they do in the school gym during their Physical Education (P.E.) lessons.strictly organized or controlled Hence, an indoor swimming pool should be constructed. Another reason is that students will not need to go to a public swimming pool to practise for a swimming competition. It will be more convenient for students to go to the one in the school than a public swimming pool. Students do not need to pay for a ticket at the school as the students can save money when they need the money anytime. For example, students can swim anytime in the school as the public swimming pool only opens for two to three days only. Public swimming pools do not open for the whole day but a school does. Therefore, an indoor swimming pool should be constructed in the school. Students who do not wish for an indoor swimming pool can be understood as they seldom swim in school. The students may not like to swim and disagree with the construction of the swimming pool. For example, some students may think that it is a waste of money to construct an indoor swimming pool. Hence, the students disagree on the construction of the swimming pool. While it is true that not many students swim in the school, students will love to swim if they try it for their PE lessons. If swimming is part of P.E. lessons, students who do not usually swim can now learn how to swim. As the students grow to love swimming during their P.E. lessons, they will begin to take the initiative to swim in their free time, thus contributing to a healthier lifestyle. Hence, students who do not swim will continue swimming. In conclusion, I think that the indoor swimming pool should be constructed. This would
benet more students and encourage them to swim as the students will be active and not get sick easily. Swimming will help them stay t and healthy. Teachers are also able to swim and students can bond with their teachers. Hence, I think that the indoor swimming pool should be constructed. Yours sincerely Ammar
Teacher’s Comments Ammar has demonstrated clear understanding of the requirements. He is able to construct his argument systematically. He could do better if he could include more sophisticated vocabulary. 13
2H6
Desiree Teo
Blk 385 Bukit Biru Crescent #02-381 Singapore 250385 8 May 2014 The Chairman Bukit Biru Town Council 25 Bukit Biru Crescent #01-250 Singapore 254025 Dear Sir
Allocation of new room in community club I am Desiree Teo, a resident living in Bukit Biru Crescent. My purpose of writing to you
is to tell you the benets of allocating the new room to the Bukit Biru Youth Club. Firstly, I believe that the Youth Cub will provide a more conducive environment for youths to revise their work. This will encourage more youths to study as there is an air-conditioned study room with computers which students can use to look up useful information. Furthermore, there are also youth leaders in the club whom they can approach when they in need. In addition, Youth Leaders would have a venue to organise more useful activities for the youths. This will increase interest among youths to join the club and prevent them from loitering in the malls after school. If youths are occupied with engaging activities, their tendency to wander aimlessly around the neighbourhood after school will reduce drastically. This would allow students to focus and concentrate better on their studies. They would also be able to pick up new skills such as social skills and communication skills. They would get to meet other youths of the same interests as them. This would
also help to widen their social circle, so that they would have more friends to conde in when they are in need of help. While it is true that having a women’s society would help women of different nationalities
and races to get together, I believe that the adults can nd another place to meet up regularly as they are old enough to travel around while some of the youths may not be able to. The women can always meet up at a nearby café and chat over some tea or lunch. In addition, having a Youth Club in the community would provide convenience for many of the residents. Parents would be able to drop their children off at the youth club without worrying as there would be mature young adults such as the youth leaders to take care of them. It can also ease the burden of parents who are concerned about ease: their teenage children. reduce or lessen In conclusion, I hope you would take my idea into consideration as the youth club
will benet both youths and parents. Youths will have a place to study and carry out activities while parents need not worry about their children. Yours sincerely Desiree Teo Teacher’s Comments Desiree has substantiated her points with valid arguments and strong evidence. Perhaps she can include more sophisticated vocabulary to score higher for the language component.
14
2H6
Sree Krishna Surya Praharshitha Tallapragada
Blk 296C Bukit Biru #14-229 Singapore 534296 8 May 2014 The Chairman Bukit Biru Housing Town Council Bukit Biru Road 56 Singapore 534056 Dear Sir
Allocation of the new room I am Sarah Lim, a current resident of Bukit Biru Housing Estate. The Town Council has informed all residents of its plan to add a one-storey block to the existing community club. One new room will be allocated to either the Bukit Biru Women’s Society or Bukit Biru Youth club. I am in favour for the Bukit Biru Youth club. Firstly, the allocation of the new room to the Bukit Biru Youth club will enable youths to maintain an active lifestyle. There will be opportunities for youths to carry out activities such as sailing and camping. Here, it will encourage youths to be active through adventurous activities. Moreover, Youth Leader, Andy Lau, stated that they could organise more activities for youths. This implies that Youth leaders are given opportunities to organise activities where they can display leadership skills such as inculcating a sense of responsibility. Additionally, it will mould them into inspiringinculcating: to x leaders. They also have to plan activities such that youths will be enthusiastic to take beliefs or ideas in part in it. Hence, it promotes an active lifestyle amongst teenagers. someone’s mind , especially by Secondly, it provides a conducive environment for youths to study. Youths can gatherrepeating them at the Youth club to revise their work instead of loitering at shopping malls. Revika d/o often Sunil, a 15-year-old student, said that an air- conditioned study room with computers will be ideal for students in the neighbourhood. This means that youth can study and concentrate better especially during the hot sunny days where they will be perspiring a
lot and will have difculty focusing. Some residents believe that Women’s Society is a place for social interaction. For instance, Mrs Tan Kwee Cheng, Chairman of Women’s Society stated that it will be easier for women of different races and nationalities in the neighbourhood to meet regularly. This shows that it will increase social interaction among women. Perhaps the room may increase social interaction, however, I believe that allocating the room to Youth club will increase social interaction more. In addition, youths of different race, gender, and age can gather and interact with one another. Moreover, it will also increase family bonds as ‘mothers and children can interact and learn together’, as noted by Mdm Sunita, a mother. It will also forge strong bonds between mother and daughter or mother and son unlike the Women’s Society which is only for females. Therefore, Youth club can increases the level social interaction among youths. In conclusion, the Youth club is aboon as it fosters strong ties with the Bukit Biru boon: advantage community. The advantages of Youth club far outweigh the disadvantages. I hope you would consider my suggestion about the allocation of new room. bane: disadvantage Yours faithfully Sarah
Sarah Lim Teacher’s Comments Praharshitha has demonstrated a clear understanding of the question’s requirements, as shown in her elaboration. To improve, she can consider experimenting with more variety of sentence structures, as well as include more sophisticated vocabulary. 15
2H7
Jefrey Lam
Blk 126 Bukit Biru Road Bukit Biru Housing Estate #09-117 Singapore 553126 8 May 2014 Chairman Bukit Biru Town Council Blk 122 Bukit Biru Rd #01-067 Singapore 553122 Dear Chairman
Feedback on the use of the new room I am Jeff Lam, a resident currently living in Bukit Biru Housing Estate. The town council has urged residents to provide feedback on which group should be given the use of the new room. Personally, I am in favour of giving the use of the new room to the Bukit Biru Youth Club. Firstly, the room can be used as astudy room with computers. Students who are looking for a quiet place to relax and study can make their way to the new room. Students nowadays are complaining that there is no conducive environment in whichPurpose of room they can study in. Since the closest library is quite far away, this new room would helpis stated clearly. youths around the neighbourhood to study as they now have a closer place to studyIt is followed at. In addition, the computers can give students free internet access for e-learning or by appropriate simply just for research. Therefore, the new room can be used to help youths around elaboration and the neighbourhood to study. examples. Secondly, the room can be used for parents and children to interact with each other. A recent study has shown that parents in Singapore are so busy that they do not spend enough time interacting with their children. The new room can help promote family time when parents tutor their children. In addition, the environment of the new room would be perfect for interaction. Parents can spend time interacting with their children. This helps strengthen relationships andforge stronger bonds between parent and child. forge: create Some parents may feel that they can also interact with their child at home. Some residents feel that the use of the new room should be given to the Bukit Biru Women’s Society. They believe that it encourages women from different races and religions to meet regularly. This promotes anti-racism as different races of women understand others. However, I believe that the priority should still be given to the Youth Club. The Women’s Society can socialise at places less central since they are adults, unlike the youths, who need a convenient and safe environment to study and interact in. If the room is
dedicated to youths, I believe that it would be benecial for their academic results since they now revise together with their peers or family. In conclusion, I believe that the use of the new room should be given to the Youth Club
as there are better benets, like having a better environment to study and interact. Therefore, I feel that the town council should give the use of the new room to the Bukit Biru Youth Club. Yours sincerely Jeff Lam Teacher’s Comments Jefrey has stated his reasons clearly in each paragraph and substantiated them with strong evidence. A suggestion for improvement is to use a variety of sentence structures, which will help him score higher marks in the language component. 16
3I1
Nicole Kanyarat
An account of a visit to Universal Studios Singapore with my best friend. Recently, I won the ‘Serangoon Stars 2014’ talent contest. The reward was a trip for two to Universal Studios Singapore(USS). I decided to bring my best friend, Kenny, to share what would be an amazing experience. We travelled to the Resorts World Sentosa, where USS is located, by MRT. The trip itself was an enjoyable one, full of anticipation of what Universal Studios has got to offer. We simply could notsuppress our excitement. suppress: to hold back or prevent Resorts World Sentosa is packed with thrilling rides and adazzling array of leisure from showing (a attractions offering fascinating experiences. It is the region’s rst Universal Studios feeling, smile) theme park that boasts 24 newly designed attractions, not found in any other Universal dazzling: exciting Studio in the world . My best friend Kenny and I visited the ‘Far Far Away’ theme-zone. We had lots of fun watching the 3-D movies and thoroughly enjoyed the thrilling rides.
We visited Marine Life Park’s magnicent oceanarium. I got to see, touch and interact with the sea creatures. Themulti-sensory experience was indeed out of this world! multi-sensory: different senses It was non-stop amazing entertainment along Festive Walk. We enjoyed the ‘’Crane(sight, hearing, Dance’’ the most. The ‘’Crane features pyrotechnics cleverly choreograp hed smell and touch) laser-lights, sounds and waterDance’’ effects. The experience wasand simply breath taking. I had an exciting day with my best friend, Kenny. We ended the wonderful day with a dinnerbreath taking: at a nearby restaurant before heading home. causing amazement
I would denitely share this experience with my other friends and would encourage them to visit Resorts World Sentosa. It is an enchanting place to go to. With the seven enchanting: themed zones as well as the ‘Maritime Xperiental Museum’, the rst in the region that having a magical celebrates the diversity and richness of Asia’s maritime history, you will never run outeffect of things to do at Universal Studios. It is as if you are entering a different dimension. I cannot wait for my next visit to Resorts World Sentosa.
Teacher’s Comments Student used a selection of simple and relevant vocabulary based on her experience visiting Universal
Studios Singapore. She scored on task fullment effectively through the usage of emotive vocabulary and varied sentence structures.
17
3I1
Viknesh Sigamani
An informal letter to a cousin sharing your experiences participating in a talent search competition – ‘SERANGOON STARS 2014’ Dear cousin How are you? I am feeling great! I just had one of the best experiences ever. It was also a challenging one. I want to share with you the struggles that I went through at a recent talent search competition called the ‘Serangoon Stars 2014’. Have you ever experienced taking part in a competition? You will know after I share my experience. The competition was organised by my school, Serangoon Secondary School. Everyone has the chance to be a star in my school. The talent search competition provides a showcase: good opportunity for us to showcase our hidden talents. display or exhibit As you would have already known, I am not the kind of person who likes to show something at its off. I just wanted to share my talent. I hope that is not considered as showing off? I best showcased my talent in ‘parkour’. It is a kind of sport which requires you to move rapidly through an area, overcoming obstacles by running, jumping, and climbing. Luckily for
me, the judges selected me for the nals. I thought it was easy, but I could see how good the other participants were. At that moment, I decided to give my best shot. I practised hard every day after school. I got injured many times. However, I was never disheartened. My teachers, my parents, my friends also believed in me and never disheartened: gave up on me.
discouraged
The moment of truth came during the nals. I was scared but I persevered through persevered: the performance routines. I performed the ‘parkour’ like a possessed person. Youmaintained a know what I mean. The crowd applaused and the judges liked it. It was breathtaking. I purpose in spite of difculties couldn’t believe it when I was announced as the second prize winner. The position was not important. What’s more important is that I did my best and I am happy that I got the award too. Give it a try, participate in a competition. You can do it! The best thing that you can do for yourself is to participate in a competition and overcome your fears. Till we meet again. All the best!
Teacher’s Comments An informal letter that gives anand apt register snapshot of student’s positive personal a talent searchthe competition. Appropriate tone were used together with simple experience vocabulary.inThis reinforces informal nature of the letter and at the same time, getting all the relevant points across. Good Effort!
18
3I4
Raziq Hazim B Husin
‘Close monitoring of teenagers’ activity on the internet can help to reduce cybercrimes.’ How far do you agree with this statement? Most teenagers today spend much time browsing the internet, especially so because of the widespread use of smart phones. Many of them do not think before they post comments online and are naïve and unaware that the world can what they post. News these days travels very fast and goes viral in a matter of minutes and seconds. goes viral– to spread quickly to Besides, teenagers make new friends online and this most ofstart the to time leadsmany people to more trouble and like eventocybercrimes. Now, this is where problems manifest themselves. First of all, parents should pay attention to what their teenager children do online. For all we know, they might be bullying someone or might be bullied by someone in cyberspace. Cyberbullying can cause the victim to become depressed. Depression could result in not eating, sleeping or studying well. This can be bad for teenagers who at their age must be active and living their lives to the fullest. However all this could be avoided if parents know what they are doing on the internet. For example, a victim of cyberbullying may attempt suicide as he could think it is the only way out, but it is not. Therefore parents should keep a close watch on their teenagers. Moreover, if a parent is not to check on what his teenage child is doing on the internet, the teen can take the liberty to do what he pleases. Enforcing rules and restricting access to websites are some things parents put in place easily. Parents can take disciplinary action before the situation gets out of hand. Hence parents must remain vigilant about what teenagers are doing in cyber space.
On the ip side, teenagers might argue that they should have the right to do what they want on the internet. They could retort that it is not necessary for their parents to always know what they are doing on the internet. However, not all teenagers are mature enough to sense what is right and wrong. They might commit cybercrimes and may not even know that they are doing so. Hence, parents have the duty to always monitor them In conclusion, in the cyber world today, more cybercrimes are committed by irresponsib le teenagers, whether it is intended or not. Whatever the case might be, close monitoring of teenagers’ activities on the internet can help reduce cybercrimes. This would avoid problems for youth, their parents and society at large.
Teacher’s Comment Raziq has neatly presented arguments for and against his stand. He could consider the use of examples in support of his arguments and provide more interesting details of cybercrime, the perpetrators and victims.
19
3I6
Rishika Pundrik
‘It is difcult to strike a balance between school and personal life?’ Do you agree? Students are overloaded with school work, co-curricular activities and other activities they take part in. They have to juggle their school homework, daily revision and tuition. juggle: manage Students are so mentally and physically exhausted to the point that it becomes nearly impossible for them to strike a balance between school and personal life. Today’s generation is very competitive and as time passes, the competition is getting tougher. In order to make a mark and excel, students have to work unbelievably hard. When they do that, they have little or no time left for themselves. Firstly, students have to keep up with their daily school work. Nowadays, students have a lot of subjects to study and for each subject, they are also assigned quite a lot of work. If for each subject they take, they were to be assigned that much work, students would not even have time for their daily revision, let alone, personal life. What is worse is that for every assignment, they may not be given ample time to nish the task and students ample: sufcient
are then overburdened as they now have to nish all the work in that short period of time. For instance, I see my own sister, who is taking eight subjects, struggling to nish her homework. She stays up till the wee hours of the morning to nish her homework and do a bit of revision. By the time she nishes, it is already past two in the morning. She barely gets four hours of sleep and then she has to attend school, go home and do her homework, thus the cycle continues. Due to this, she has little time for herself. In addition, students have their co-curricular activities (CCA) in school. Some students,
like me, have two CCAs. I am part of the Red Cross Youth and the Debate team in our school. Every day, I stay back in school for debate training until the school closes at seven in the evening, and every Friday, I stay back for Red Cross training. By the time I get home, it is a quarter to eight. I am already exhausted after studying and the day’s
activities, but I still have to nish my homework, do my daily revision and some work which I was assigned during my debate training. It is usually around one in the morning when I turn in. It is such an exhaustive cycle that I do not have enough energy to carry on the next day. My attention span is shorter and I do not learn anything in school this way. Many students have training sessions more than once a week and coupled with homework, it lessens the time for personal matters. However, critics may argue that if students draw up a timetable, follow it strictly and manage their time well, they would be able to strike a balance between their school and personal life. This is not true, as drawing up a timetable would not help to lessen the workload students have. It might help with time management, but students would still be stressed as they still have the same amount of work to complete in the time allocated to them. Following the time-table would ensure quantity but not quality. Thus, students still have very little personal time left.
Cumulatively, it is difcult to strike a balance between personal and school life as students have to consider their homework, CCA and other activities. Students are overly stressed due to all these factors, and may not be able to enjoy more leisurely activities.
Teacher’s Comment This is an interesting piece of writing as the writer has used a variety of examples to support her points. There has been a great attempt at using more sophisticated vocabulary as well, and the writer has presented a balanced viewpoint on the issue.
20
3I6
TANG JIA EN
Speech: Get condent Good morning Mr. Singh, teachers and fellow students. I am Miyo Tang from 3I6 and
today I would like to tell you about how we can communicate well with condence. Speaking and communicating might seem unimportant to you but it is very important for students to speak well. If you are shy, you won’t be able tounleash your full potential, unleash: release/ and without achieving your full potential, you wouldn’t know what you can do. Youset free might be a shy person now, but after attending a few of the Listening and Speaking workshops, I assure you that it would certainly boost your condence and help you to overcome your shyness. Most of us here aren’t really condent or fond of public speaking, am I right? Well, even though I am from our English Language Debate Team, I am not always that condent either. I tend to get really nervous when I go for competitions. So, to get rid of our fear, we can all attend the “Speak with Condence & Expression” workshop! This workshop will help you to gain condence and speak in a good manner. Public speaking won’t be a problem anymore! You do not have to be shy anymore, instead you will be able to step up and express yourself condently. In addition, for those who are interested and aspire to be a news broadcaster, this workshop is perfect for you as attending it couldaspire: seek bring you one step closer to your dream. If you are too scared to attend the workshop alone, you can always ask your friend to come along or you could just approach me as I would be happy to attend it with you! Don’t worry, it will be fun and this workshop will also boost your condence at the same time. The price for the workshop is $720, but it is now at a discounted price of $600. It is extremely worth it because the workshop not only allows to speak but even it will identify also help tocorrect improveindividual your English, enabling you to you speak propercondently, English. They and speech issues. These workshops are organized by two renowned companies, which is why it’s little expensive. However, I wouldn’t mind spending my money on something that is benecial for me. So, let’s all go together and have fun while improving ourselves! Other than speaking condently, we also need to listen carefully. Have you ever argued with a friend just because of a misunderstanding from not listening well enough? It’s not worth it at all, therefore you should attend this “How to Listen Effectively” workshop. At times, you may misinterpret signals from others, and this may negatively affect your misinterpret: relationships Thus, to prevent this, the workshop will teach you how to identify and misunderstand analyse a speaker’s tone, so that you know whether someone is upset with you, or perhaps just plain tired. This workshop will also help you to learn how to respond the right way so that there won’t be any misunderstandings between you and your friends or family. To make the workshop more fun and exciting, there are many role-plays and interactive games with the actors from the club! Also, not forgetting that it will help you improve your English since a workshop! wide pool Further of vocabulary provided during this workshop. I encourage you tothere go foristhe details will be given to you by your form teachers. If you’re not fond of these two workshops I have just mentioned, you can always come to our CCA room and join us for a great event! My debate team members and I will be organising a special event just for you. There will be food given and you will get to play games which will help you overcome your shyness. The games will be very exciting and you will have to do a mini speech if you lose. But don’t worry, there is nothing bad about giving a speech! You can talk about anything you like and we will all be listening attentively to you. So join us now! It will be after school today and we won’t be charging you like the other workshops. Come over today and have fun with us, and as the Chairman of the debate team, I ensure that you will have a wonderful experience. So, if you’re not ready for the workshops yet, you can start slow with us!
Boost your condence by attending these workshops or our special event! I guarantee that you will have a wonderful time at any one that you attend, while learning about useful skills. All the best in gaining condence and speaking well. Thank you! Teacher’s Comments The writer has adopted a very bright and enthusiastic tone in persuading others to attend the workshops, which make this piece enjoyable to read. Original and refreshing ideas in addition to information provided in the visual and attempt to elaborate has been quite successful. 21
3I7
Deemithra
Recommendation of effective communication workshops Good morning Mr Singh, Mr Chia, teachers and friends. I’m Deemithra from class 3I7 and I’m also the Chairman of the English Language Debate Team. Communication is an important part of our lives. It allows us to connect with other people - your friends and family - but how close-knit our relationships are like with other people also depends on close-knit: tightly how effective our communication skill is. Have you ever felt frustrated when no matter united how many times you try repeating an idea to your friend, he or she still does not fully understand you? We could wellattribute this to ineffective speaking skills and I am attribute this here today to share with you how we can overcome this obstacle. to: link this to (mention the There are various workshops you can attend to improve your communication skills.cause) One of such workshops is the ‘How to Listen Effectively’ workshop organised by the Toastmasters Club of Singapore. If you nd that you sometimes misinterpret what misinterpret: your friends are saying, it could be because of the lack of proper vocabulary or the misunderstand an inability to identify proper tone through a speech. This workshop aims to improve our issue
listening skills and I’m sure that you would nd this workshop useful as the tips in this workshop can come in handy in sharpening our listening skills and help us better come in handy: understand our teachers during lessons. to be useful in a specic situation Another available option would be the ‘Speak with Condence and Expression’ workshop organised by ‘The Art Voice’. Many of us, teenagers, face the issue of fear of public speaking. Throughin the workshop, you can gain exposure, and to overcome this of speaking public to a general audience. Also, youcondence would be able enjoy interacting with your friends in the process and learn to pronounce difcult words, correcting mistakes made in your speech. Alternatively, you can practise effective communication skills at home with your family Alternatively: or at school with your teachers and friends. At home, you can share candidly with your good linker to family about your day at school and you can also strengthen your family ties as well!add in more During lessons, at school, you can arrange for group discussions with your friendsidea(s), other about class or group work. These are just some of the possible activities you can do. than ‘In addition’ / ‘However’ Before I end my speech, I would like to thank you for your attention. I hope you would take part in the workshops that I have highlighted. Let us keep in mind how communication candidly: frankly/ is a key role in our lives and how both speaking and listening skills play a signicant honestly part in establishing meaningful relationships with the people close to us. keep in mind: Thank You. good substitute for ‘remember’ establishing: good substitute for ‘forming’/ ‘starting’ Teacher’s Comment
Deemithra has been able to draw a ne distinction between formal and informal tone and register in speech. This question, in particular, required the student to deliver a formal speech (in the presenc e of many unknown peers – in the level- as well as Principal, vice-principal, and teachers. However, at junctures, Deemithra managed to be persuasive and convincing in presenting facts to peers through examples and language used. He also includes himself in his bid to convince by using ‘our’ to refer to himself and audience who are students like himself. Some words have been used strategically to engage the listener and to convince. There is a considered effort to achieve buy-in from the audience/ listener.
22
3I7
Sumedha Pundrik
To be successful, hard work is more important than talent. Do you agree? People often complain about how certain people always succeed in different elds of life, be it studies, sports, making friends or just their personal lives because they are born ‘gifted’ or ‘talented’. People often label these groups of people as ‘special’ or ‘pure genius’. However, I believe in the exact opposite. People just fail to understand how much hard work is being put in by the so-called ‘gifted’ person to actually succeed in whatever they are doing. People use these labels as an excuse for themselves, for putting in that extra hour of effort before the test or not training enough for the race. In my opinion, success comes with sheer hard work, passion, having a clear understanding of what you are doing and being visionary. To start off, to reach success, you must be excellent in whatever you do. To reach that mark of excellence, one must be passionate about it, have a clear understanding of whatever they are required to do and must be consistent. With that, the person is preparing to compete with the others. Consistency and being passionate are forms of hard work which can only be achieved with a goal in mind – to be excellent and to win. For instance, if an individual is weak in Mathematics, he or she should practice enough, ask questions and seek help when unsure instead of lazing around and being oblivious to the fact that they are actually weak. This comes with consistency and the oblivious: lacking passion to do well, despite the fact that they are weak. Again, most people choose to awareness of ignore this and do not put in the work and effort, but instead, they allow the ‘talented’something ones to overtake them, without even trying to compete. Moreover, being visionary and self-disciplined are forms of hard work as well. Hard work does not only refer to studying round the clock, seven days a week. Hard work is when one is aware and conscious of task requirements and works towards it to achieve success. Planning ahead and putting in the extra effort is the work of visionary people, or else known as the ‘gifted’ people. Not only that, when one is determined to win and overtake the ‘gifted’ people, the person would be willing to go to great lengths to do so and it all starts with self-discipline. If we train ourselves and adjust ourselves to practising and making each day fruitful, nothing would stop us from achieving success. Admittedly, there are numerous ‘child-prodigies’ in this world and they are provenAdmittedly: as to be born ‘gifted’. But, the number is not great enough. Again, it is not proven that acknowledged/ we cannot overtake them or be as good as them. As aforementioned, with the right confessed amount of effort, passion, understanding and self-discipline, it would be a piece of cake to overtake child-prodigies. aforementioned: something that To conclude, hard work comes in many forms and it is up to the individual if he oris mentioned she adopts such a lifestyle where they put in extra effort non-stop, every day of their beforehand lives. Hard work requires the disciplining of oneself, learning to be visionary and setting your goals right. Compared to hard work, talent is no match. As Albert Einstein said, Beautiful and “Success is 99% hard work and 1% talent.” With that, I truly believe that hard work is apt phrase to the root of success, not talent. conclude. Teacher’s Comment This is an interesting piece of writing as the writer has used a variety of examples to support her points. There has been a great attempt at using more sophisticated vocabulary as well, and the writer has presented a balanced viewpoint on the issue. Discourse markers were used appropriately to transit between ideas.
23
3I7
Lee Yan Yee
Get a boost for your speaking and listening skills Good morning Mr Singh, Mr Chia, Mr Chiang, teachers and fellow schoolmates. I am Lee Yan Yee from 3 Inspiring 7 and I am the chairman of the English Language Debate Team of our school. I want to thank my teacher, Mr Wong, for the opportunity in letting me to stand up here to speak to you. Have you ever misunderstood somebody’s words and offended people in the process? Or have you spoken something wrongly and made a bad impression of yourself? If your answer is ‘yes’, do not be discouraged. I was once like that too. Research from Yale University has shown that 78% of the world’s teenagers often misunderstood what people said and as much as 95% of them have issue, of one kind or another, speaking in front of a crowd. Here are some workshops and activities for us to participate in, thereby boosting our speaking and listening skills. Firstly, the Toastmasters Club of Singapore is organising a workshop, ‘How to listen effectively’, for people who would like to improve their listening skills. From this workshop, we will get to learn how to identify one’s tone when speaking and analysing it. By that, we get to respond in an appropriate way without sounding offensive. We would also get to pick up a handful of new vocabulary from this workshop and improve our English. Other than that, we will get to role-play and interact with the actors from the club via games. All the fun enjoyed in just three hours! In three hours, we get to learn how to speak and interact in a more engaging way. is asked After learning to listen, how to with speak correctly and condently. can we do it? how We could signweupcan forlearn the “Speak clarity & rhythm” workshop. How It is Question to get audience to a 2-day workshop from 9am to 2.30pm and it is instructed by Jessica Seet, a newstune in to details broadcaster at Mediacorp Singapore. From this amazing workshop, we will get to pickand content of up effective speaking skills by using some techniques. For example, we can certainlyspeech more learn how to control our facial expression when speaking, becoming aware of our bodyeffectively language, as well as being careful about our tone. I personally attended this workshop in the past and it stirred me up, leaving a massive impact, thereby shaping the way I stirred: to be speak today. I learned how to speak clearly in front of people and, at the same time,charged with deliver my message in an appropriate way. As a bonus, we get to try out recording in aemotions or professional studio with our newly acquired speaking skills. Fun, effective and useful at being emotionally the same time, why not consider it? aroused Other than the above-mentioned ideas, our school recentl y launched a newprogramme, Clear and suitable “Stars-In-Conversations”. It is a programme in which students take turns to deliver a description that is speech in front of their peers. Other than speaking, we also get to be an audience part of elboration and listen to how our peers speak. From this activity, we get to learn how to deliver a powerful speech and hone the ability to listen closely to others’ opinions as well. Subsequently, we also get to learn new knowledge from our friends’ speeches and this allows us to apply as role models when it comes to speaking and improving our oral skills. In the past few minutes, I have suggested various ways to improve both our listening Effective use and speaking skills. Through the ‘How to listen effectively’ workshop, ‘Speak withof repetition clarity and rhythm’ and ‘Stars-in-Conversation’ workshops, we have some effectiveto emphasise means to enhance our listening and speaking skills by being a proactive participant.an idea and Now, I encourage all of us to participate in the activities mentioned above to boost ourto conclude a speaking and listening skills. Before I end my speech, remember this - don’t be afraidspeech to talk to people, don’t be afraid to listen to people and don’t be afraid to speak in front of a large crowd! Thank you! Teacher’s Comment Clarity and focus on the task requirements make this letter shine and stand out from the rest. There is a suitable transition of ideas, coupled with the good use of the repetition technique in the last 3 lines. This serves as a reminder of the importance for us to engage the reader in order to persuade effectively and purposefully. 24
4N1
Jared Lim Jun Ze
Functional writing - writing a letter of job application Dear Miss Sally Lim,
Application for Play Crew I came across your advertisement on vacancies for Play Crew and I am interested in the position. I have just completed my ‘N’ Level and am currently waiting for my results to be released in December. Thus, I have decided to apply for a part-time job to spend my time meaningfully. As I studied Customer Service in Elements of Business Skill (EBS) in my upper secondary education, I am equipped with the skills and knowledge to interact with
guests. I not only have the condence in interacting well with people, but also a passion to serve and interact with children. Thus, I am ready to assist in the front line and guest service. In addition, I attended a basic rst aid Elective Module in March 2014 and I am a certied rst aider. I can also be trusted with the responsibility to ensure the safety of users of the play pool as well as to maintain orderliness in the pool. I can work ve days a week as stated in my application form and on some Sundays, as well as on public holidays. I am fully committed to giving my best in performing my duties and will be a responsible worker if given the post of a Play Crew member. I am available for an interview any time. I am also contactable at 91234567. I hope to join the Play Crew and look forward to your favourable reply. Thank you. Yours sincerely Jared Lim Jun Ze
Teacher’s Comments
Jared has fullled the requirements of the task and provided relevant additional information in a coherent manner to present himself as a potential job applicant.
25
4N1
Justin Ng Liang Kiat
Functional writing - letter of application Dear Miss Sally Lee I came across your online advertisement and I would like to apply for the position as a play crew member. I am good at interacting with others. Besides having a passion for service, I am very good with children. I am also a Red Cross cadet in my school. I attended a basic
rst aid course in March, this year and have a life-saving certicate as proof of my achievement.
Although I am only a student, I am sure that I can please the guests at Wildlife Reserves Singapore with my enthusiasm and sincerity. Also, I feel that this is a meaningful experience while waiting for my N-level results. Thus, I can start work as soon as possible. I hope you would consider my application. I look forward to your favourable reply. Thank you.
Yours sincerely Justin
Teacher’s Comments
Justin has fullled the requirements of the task and used a variety of sentence structures to present his ideas.
26
4N2
Nasah bte Jumat
‘It is entirely up to me to decide my future.’ Do you agree? Teenagers these days are given the opportunity to make their own decisions. Rather
than be the decision-makers, parents of the twenty-rst century have taken on the role of advisors to help their teenage children make informed choices. Decisions concerning their children’s future, like education paths have fallen into the hands of their children. In short, teenagers are empowered to make most decisions themselves and chart empowered: their own future. As a teenager, I agree that it is entirely up to me to decide my future. gave control and power to Firstly, I have to learn to be responsible. I have the right to make any decision whether it is negative or positive. Things that I possibly do not want like what career to pursue should not be forced on me. Advice is helpful but ultimately, giving me the choice to decide will teach me to take responsibility of my own actions. Secondly, I will be the onefacing the challenges in the future. If I make a wrong decision now that will affect my future, I must learn to be accountable and not expect anyone accountable: to bear that responsibility. This means that no one has to take the blame for me. I willresponsible for have to accept the outcomes of my actions and learn from my mistakes. I have to learn your decisions to face the obstacles and overcome them myself. Thus, it is entirely up to me to decide, or actions and accept the consequences and take charge of my future. expected to explain them Finally, no one will be able to pick a perfect path for me that will determine my future.when you are No willabout have certain the same passion the personality that Iishave. do not know howone I feel things. For or instance, my passion in theThey creative arts but asked my parents want me to be a bank accountant. I will bear in mind their preference but eventually I will have to decide based on my likes and dislikes about what I want to be when I grow up. I am positively sure that I must be in control because I am living my life. I admit that making decisions is not as easy as it looks as I have to consider many factors. Currently, I am facing problems and I am aware of the challenges. I am taking my GCE N-Level examination this year and I am not ready at all. However, I have set my goals and taken actions. I know what I want to be, even if my parents are not convinced. I am sure I will make them proud of me one day. It is because they have taught me the values and have always been supportive. Thus, I trust that I am able to make wise decisions which will shape my future.
Teacher’s Comment
Nasah makes clear her stance and support it with sound arguments. There is a clear attempt to apply the PEEL approach. Each paragraph is introduced with a valid main sentence and supporting sentences. More personal anecdotes can be included to amplify the ideas provided. There is appropriate use of signal words to guide the reader. Efforts to use a variety of sentence structures are commendable.
27
4N2
Angel Png Chin Wen
Speech: Nominating a schoolmate as head prefect Good afternoon, Classmates. The annual election for our school’s Head Prefect is hereClear choice again. Have you thought about who should be elected? Does that person have themade ability to lead our school forward? Well, I have to say that this year’s nominees are a really competitive bunch to choose from. We have Krishnan who is very hardworking student and Ai Zhen who is a very smart and compassionate student. However, I strongly believe that Carissa is the one that has the ability to lead our school forward and I am sure you will agree with me.
First of all, Carissa is a condent communicator. In my opinion, she will be able to lead us and maintain harmony in times of adversity. It is a really big step forward because not many people have this ability – the ability to speak in front of a huge crowd so condently and persuasively. In addition, she has represented our school in community events that required her to speak on behalf of the school, which she has proudly delivered. Therefore, she will do us proud and without a doubt, lead us forward with her condence. Secondly, Carissa is a very self-directed learner who has served as class chairperson in lower secondary. Armed with her leadership experience and her self-directedness, entrusted: given she is able to to take isentrusted with intoherself serve and and strive make the responsibility improvements the control school. of Asthe sheduties is ableshe to bring out the best for excellence, she will inspire others to give their best too. We need successful and to do an important inspiring leaders like Carissa. She is one of those who are willing to do their best andjob is equipped with the skills and ability to lead. Thus, she is the one who will be able to Effective lead us forward. comparison to highlight Carissa’s Last of all, Carissa is also very sociable person, who makes friends easily. Her friendlystrength personality makes it easy for us to talk to her about concerns and problems. Krishnan, who has a humble personality, is likeable but I do not think he has the friendly disposition to make people feel comfortable enough to tell him their problems and troubles. Even though Ai Zhen is highly resourceful and has strong problem-solving skills, we may
not nd her approachable and may feel uncomfortable sharing our issues with her. We need a warm and approachable leader whom people can connect with easily. Therefore, I strongly encourage all of you to vote for Carissa and elect her as the new head prefect to lead us forward. Knowing that we expect more from an exemplary student like Carissa, she has set high expectations of herself. She expects herself to bring out the best in all of us. She even has plans for our school’s upcoming 85th anniversary. She wants to bring all of us together and help us recognise that our school is a wonderful place after all. She wants us to understand the importance of education and to learn to appreciate what we have. To achieve her goals, she knows a boring speech is not effective. She knows that students, being teenagers, may resist and will not be inspired easily. She adopts ways like showing us videos and participating in activities together to bond us. Isn’t it creative? Isn’t she amazing? She has spontaneously planned such surprisesfor us and this reveals her strong leadership qualities. Thus, we should elect Carissa as the new head prefect to lead us forward. You are convinced, aren’t you? Make up your mind now. With Carissa’s ability to lead, her willingness to serve, her approachable personality and interesting plans for our school, she is the right head prefect for Serangoon Secondary School. Carissa will bring us forward. Go cast your vote for the one and only Carissa, and make her our next head prefect!
28
Teacher’s Comment
Angel has effectively used signal words to convey the ow of her ideas. She has clearly expressed her ideas and provided adequate elaboration to support each point. She is able to develop her essay coherently and effectively to meet the requirements of the task. Original and convincing additional information effectively constructed increases her persuasive ability. A range of adjectives is used to enable listeners to fully understand Carissa’s strengths.
29
4N2
Nur Aqilah bte Muzini
‘I knew it was the right thing to do.’
Write about what happened when you had to make a difcult decision which pleased some people and upset others. Getting a scholarship is denitely something overwhelming. That one chance can change someone’s future. Thus, when I was given the opportunity to study in a university overseas for free, I was over the moon. Harvard University, a prestigious university in the United States, was my dream prestigious: destination since I was ten. How could I refuse the once in a lifetime offer to go to my admired and dream university to study? Fully paid education, I might add. Of course I was on cloud respected by nine when I received the amazing news. Even my parents were elated when they readpeople the letter. However, not everyone was too pleased when I shared my joy with them. It was not like Tiffany, my best friend, to become jealous, I hoped. However, she was like a volcano waiting to erupt when I informed her about my chance. Her response effective use of was denitely something I did not expect. Right there and then, she objected to my simile to show decision to study overseas. Questions were swimming in my head. Why did she not anger agree? Was she jealous? Wasn’t she my best friend? She was supposed to support
me! She chided me for being selsh, snobbish and abandoning her. I brushed off her offensive remarks about my wanting to study in Harvard. offensive: unpleasant and I was expecting a different reaction from my cousins about my scholarship, but I was insulting disappointed. Unlike Tiffany, they are my esh and blood! Should they not feel elated by the exciting news? I was beyond frustration when only a few people supported me, so few that I could count on one hand. I decided it was hard trying to please everyone. My classmates, however, gave me a heart-warming answer. Happy was an understatement. They supported my decision although I was having second thoughtsunderstatement: by then. I made up my mind. I would seize the opportunity and not let it go to waste. making it seem The only thing in my brains was ‘I hope I have made the right decision’ as I handed inless important my conrmation form. than it really is
I knew it was the right thing to do. Now, here I am, sitting in my very own ofce, writing novels and achieving my dreams. Indeed, some people were upset by my decision – although I never knew why. I am glad I followed my instincts rather than listened to people whom important to stumbling blocks. might felt have taken me agesI considered to make them accept but that turned it was out a right decision, but I hadIt never
more satised and accomplished.
Teacher’s Comments Atiqah has aptly used questions to express her feelings for the negative responses from other people and created a degree of suspense that kept the reader wondering about the reasons for their objections.
30
4N3
Cynthia Jean
Speech: Annual election for head prefect Good afternoon fellow Serangoon Stars. My name is Cynthia Jean, your vice-chairman. As all of you know by now, each year our school’s Head prefect is carefully selected. Well, that time of the year has arrived and it is up to you to choose the brightest and most persevering Head Prefect to lead our school. So, I am here today to encourage persevering continuing with each and every one of you seated here to vote for Ai Zhen. something even My choice remains unwavering for Ai Zhen as she meets all the criteria. She is a though it is difcult
seless community volunteer and she is relentless in giving back to the society. Apart from being the humble person that she is, she is also diligent and organised in herunwavering studies as well. She does not procrastinate or make a fuss when faced with challenges. Very rm in Instead she pushes forward, testing her own limits at all times. Topping her class inone’s opinion or every subject, she is an-round role model. All the teachers have nothing but excellent decision comments about her. The main reason why, in my opinion, Ai Zhen is the best candidate is that she is highly resourceful and excels in problem solving. Ai Zhen always gives us results and she
gets work done, whereas for Carrisa, she is a condent and charming young women but she does not put in the extra hours like Ai Zhen. She depends on hercharismatic charismatic (of) having great charm to rally her friends to work together. charm or appeal In fact, I was torn between choosing Krishnan or Ai Zhen as Krishnan is responsibleto others and he has proven himself as the leader of our school Band. What made AI Zhen stand out though was the fact that she exemplies what our school motto is all about – Seek, Strive, Serve. She seeks knowledge to diversify her understanding in various situations to solve problems. She constantly strives for perfection and excellence in whatever she takes on. She serves us with her unwavering values and put into actions what she believes in! I had a small conversation with her a few moments ago and this is what she said. “I may not be the most sociable candidate. Standing alongside Carrisa and Krishnan is a huge honour as they have always been the most popular andreputable students. reputable However, if I am elected as the Head Prefect, I will take into consideration each andRespected and everyone’s opinion and will denitely make studying in Serangoon Secondary School trusted by most a much more enriching experience by broadening our mind-sets and taking the stresspeople out of studying.” Since homework and revision can be rather stressful, she will propose to our Principal to set aside a room for the students’ recreation. Don’t you think she is perfect for the role of a Head Prefect? I am absolutely rooting for her! I hope I have given each and every one of you enough reasons to make her your Head Prefect! I am sure she will turn Serangoon Secondary School into a place where parents would want their children to attend. Thank you!
Teacher’s Comment Cynthia presented her points in a very organised and clear manner. Each paragraph adopted the P-E-E-L structure precisely to bring each argument across in an easily understood manner. Her use of language shows strong persuasive techniques and also a varied range of vocabulary.
Another reason why this speech stands out is that Cynthia has amplied the points using her own words.
31
4N3
Nur Fatimah
‘I knew it was the right thing to do.’
Write about what happened when you had to make a difcult decision which pleased some people and upset others. I jolted out of my bed. Looking around my now familiar room with wide eyes. I sighed, knowing it was just a bad dream. Those days were still in my head, bringing me back to how it all started. My name is Tanya Summers and I am eighteen years old. I moved to California recently because of what had happened. It felt like it was just yesterday. “Ring!” The school bell rang, indicating the start of the school day. I was standing at the entrance of my new school, Roseville High. I was from New York and had recently come here because of my dad’s job. My thoughts were broken by a girl with red hair and blue eyes staring into mine with a big smile on her face. She started blabbering blabbering: and I could not catch what she was saying. All I heard were “new student”, “ofce” and to talk foolishly or “pretty”. I looked up and realised that we were outside the ofce. I guess she was of excessively much help. I went to the counter and saw a lady with grey hair and glasses. She looked up at me and asked for my name which I gladly gave. Then, she gave me all the necessary items and rushed me to my class. Soon, I stood in front of my new class and all eyes were on me. I wanted to hide from the attention when the same redhead pushed me to the front. The teacher was waiting for my introduction. I cleared my throat and looked up at the questioning glances. “Hi! My name is Tanya Summers and I am from New York.” I then scurried to my desk to see a very good looking guy staring at me. scurried: To move quickly His name was Aiden and the redhead that spoke to me was his sister, Brittany. I gotwith short steps along with Brittany very well and school was not that bad. However, I was very annoyed whenever Aiden threatened any guy who talked to me. It was so unnecessary because
this was my life and I was pretty sure I was not ve years old. Four months ew by and everything was ne until Aiden decided to pick a ght with the guy who put a rose in my locker. I pulled Aiden off my admirer with the help from other students and saw Aiden’s bloodshot eyes. I looked at him in the eye and told him to calm down. He dragged me to a janitor’s closet and said, “I love you”. I could not control my reactions. I opened my eyes wide and stared at him with my jaw hanging. To say I was shocked would be anunderstatement. Who would have guessed understatement that Aiden liked thinking me? Hethat wasI thought jealous he all was along andI quickly I could pulled not help chuckled. say thatis less became furious, lying. himbut close and saidHeTo something that I like him too. I meant who would not? He grinned widely and told me to leave important than it with him to California. I left the closet in a rush to nd Brittany. I told her everything and really is she warned me not to go. Everyone knew that Aiden was really hot-tempered and they were afraid he would hit me if he gets too angry. grinned: To smile and You would have guessed what I did. I went to California with Aiden. He was overlyshow the teeth excited but my friends and especially my parents were really disappointed in me. Theyespecially in felt scared for me. In the end, my feelings were what mattered the most and I was never amusement or going to change that. I left a year ago and no one from home talked to me since. It hurt laughter a lot but I am happy to be with Aiden. I convinced him to go to a psychiatrist to manage his anger issues. He did and he is doing better. I lost the love of my friends and family just for Aiden. In the end, I knew it was the right thing to do. Teacher’s Comment: Fatimah is a strong and creative writer. This piece demonstrates her skills in using words to help the readers paint mental pictures in their heads as she expressed the emotions and details of the story by narrating with a wide range of vocabulary. The plot was kept simple and the use of the given phrase right at the end was a clever weave of her wits to
t the requirement of the question. 32
4N4
Jared Goh
From: Jared Goh Head of the Green Club Serangoon Secondary School To: Mrs Lee Teacher-in-charge Serangoon Secondary School 7 May, 2014
Report on activities organized by Public Utilities Board Thank you for the chance to suggest some activities organised by the Public Utilities Board for my schoolmates to take part in. After much consideration, I have shortlisted two activities: MacRitchie Reservoir Nature Trail and ABC Waters Nature Trail. I believe inculcate: to these activities will inculcate environmental learning in our students. cause somebody First of all, the MacRitchie Reservoir Nature Trail is a free environmental educationto learn and programme so students will not have to worry about having to pay a large sum ofremember ideas, money for the activity and the school will not have to worry about the nances. Also, moral principles, it is a guided nature trail so students will get to learn about the ora and fauna in the etc, especially by reservoir and at the same time, have a tranquil walk in the reservoir together as a class. repeating them
To add to thenot excitement, the nature rst last Saturday of June so often classes will be affected and they trail canfalls use on thethe time to and enjoy themselves after their examinations. In addition, the students will the ABC Waters Learning Trail. They will get to learn about water sustainability and the water cycle from student facilitators so when they use water in the future, they will use their knowledge to consume water in an environmentally friendly way. On top of that, students will also learn about the concept of ABC Waters Programme and ABC Waters design features so they will be aware of where water comes from and how they should conserve water. Furthermore, our club will be going around the school during our free periods to share tips on saving and conserving water. Presently, people are wasting water in school by
leaving taps running, spilling water all over the oor and using water excessively. This shows that our students do not know how precious water is so we hope we can help to raise awareness on the value of water. I believe through these activities, students will be more aware of the importance of water resources and will also then use water more wisely. I thank you again for the opportunity to play a role in our school’s conservation efforts and look forward to helping to make the school a greener place for all. Reported by Jared Teacher’s Comments Jared demonstrates good understanding the PACC and the requirements of the situational task. He sets out the purpose of his report early ontoingive a polite and respectful manner. is maintained when he states his choices. He proceeds persuasive arguments with aThe rmsame focustone on the purpose and requirements spelt out in the rubric. He ends by reiterating his thesis statement and expressing his desire to help in the school’s conservation efforts.
33
4N4
Jirakit
What do you consider to be the most signicant change in your life. How has this change helped you in your personal growth? Change is the only constant. Almost everyone knows and accepts this basic principle of life. However, not many people appreciate it. Theyare afraid of the uncertainties in
life, such as their jobs, health and nances in the future. However, I hold the opposite view that change is a good thing in life. It forces me to adapt and improve myself when the unexpected happens. changes my life, I learn to be strong and obstacles: overcome obstacles whichThrough help methe to grow as a in person. situations, events, Changes occur almost every day in people’s lives. It can be as simple as your motheretc. that make it replacing the broken vase or as complicated as the change in the structure of andifcult for you organization. People usually do not have much issue with minor changes, but whento do or achieve major changes come and affect their livelihoods, they can be very unpleasant. I wassomething one of those who did not like big changes. I used to think that life is a bed of roses – everything can be accomplished without much effort. Before I moved to Singapore for my studies, I had a good life in Thailand – the sort that most people would envy. envy: If I wanted anything, all I had to do was to tell my mother. I was one pampered childthe feeling of and my life seemed easy and effortless. Just when I thought that life was perfect, my wanting to be in mother told me that she had decided to send me to Singapore to pursue my studies inthe same situation a secondary school. My heart sank. I was reluctant and objected to the idea. However,as somebody I had no choice but to follow my mother’s order although I fought her tooth and nail else; the feeling to continue staying in Thailand. Moving to another country alone for my studies is the of wanting that something most signicant change in my life. somebody else When I rst arrived in Singapore, I missed my family and the familiar environment of has; jealousy
home. Back then, I could barely speak English and found it difcult to communicate. Sometimes, I opened my mouth but no words came out because I was too nervous to speak. Nonetheless, all these difculties helped me to grow. After a while, I settled down to life in Singapore. I became more independent and learnt to take care of myself. I also learnt to be responsible as I had to handle many tasks myself without my parents’ help. Within a few months, I learnt to communicate and express my thoughts to others. Although it was a difcult time, I am now very proud of myself that I managed to overcome all the challenges this change brought about in my life. The change has made me a better person. Nowadays, some people would not even believe me when I tell them that I am a seventeen-year-old living out an adventure in a foreign country by myself.
On the whole, the most signicant change was moving to Singapore. It meant leaving my parents’ protection and becoming independent in a foreign country. It has shaped my character and brought about much personal growth. I am grateful for it despite the fact that it was a very tough and unforgettable experience when I rst arrived in Singapore. I believe that people should not be intimidated by the uncertainties of life. We should take changes as opportunities to learn and improve ourselves. We should not be disheartened by change. Instead, we should put a hundred percent effort indisheartened: everything that that we do despite the uncertain future as nobody knows what tomorrow discouraged might bring!
Teacher’s Comment
Jirakit has written a very personal reection on his experience. He begins with what change means to him before getting into his story. By weaving his thoughts and feelings into his story, he has achieved a good balance between narration and reection, answering both parts of the question. His has good control of tense, switching skilfully between the past and the present. Finally, his choice of words makes this a heartfelt piece. This essay can also work for ‘Write about the biggest challenge in your life and what you have learnt from it’ with some revisions to the introduction, paragraph two and the conclusion.
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4N5
Charmaine Goh Shi Min
Situational Writing – Report
To: Ms Soa Low Teacher-in-Charge of Green Club Serangoon Secondary School From: Charmaine Goh Head of Green Club Serangoon Secondary School Date: 7 May 2014
Proposal for promoting June holidays activities for students to encourage participation in conservation programmes I am writing to propose the promotion of conservation programmes and efforts in our school. During the June holidays, the Public Utilities Board (PUB) will be organising some events which our pupils can attend to better understand the importance of conserving water. I have often noticed that students in our school take the availability of water for granted, and thus, we should encourage a change. Firstly, adventurous students will enjoy the nature trail available at MacRitichie Reser voir.
Here, they can join the free guided natural trail held on the rst and last Saturdays of the June holidays. The guided trail will provide them with explanations and help them better understand the need to conserve water on a tiny island like Singapore which has no natural water resources. The students will also get to explore forest streams and discover freshwater plants. It will be a rare and exciting experience! What is even more adventurous about the entire trail is that students get to walk through the level dirt path. I am sure students who attend this activity will have a lot of fun and at the same time, learn the need for conserving water. Secondly, what they have for us at the ABC Waters learning trail at Sengkang Floating
Wetland is the discovery of biodiversity of the ora and fauna. Students will also learn about water sustainability and the water cycle, as well as the concept of ABC water programme and its water design features. This learning experience will be led by student facilitators and the activity will be held every Friday afternoon in June. This will be great experience for our students anda strong need to conserve water. as they will be able to learn about the difculties Thirdly, our school can organise a trip to the Singapore NEWater Centre during the June holidays. The students will be able to see for themselves how water is recycled in Singapore due to the limited water resources. In the world today, more than 700 million people do not have access to clean water. With such technology, where we are able to recycle used, unclean water, students will learn to appreciate the potable water they have access to every day. In turn, they will be encouraged to use water wisely. In conclusion, these activities are great for students in encouraging them to conserve water. As an added bonus, activities at the MacRitchie Reservoir, Sengkang Floating Wetland and the Singapore NEWater Centre are all free for students. Through these activities, students will be more aware of the need to reduce water usage. Thank you.
Teacher’s Comment The writer has shown that she is very clear about the PACC of this situational writing piece. She writes in an appropriate tone and has clearly organised her well-elaborated points. There is use of more sophisticated vocabulary and good variation in sentence structures.
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4N6
Ethan Liu
Should young people take care of their parents when they are old? Picture a world where many senior citizens are sitting all over the street, begging for money or food; or imagine them in an old folks’ home, where some are treated fairly, while others are mistreated. Does the sight of these haunt you? In a highly globalised mistreated: country like Singapore, more and more people are sending their parents to nursingtreated cruelly or homes or even abandoning them, which should not be the case as it shows a lack ofunfairly
respect and lial piety in the children. Instead of doing these, children should take care of their parents when they are old as it shows that they still respect their parents. There will not be a loss of cultural identity and it shows that they are responsible enough to take care of their own families.
Children should take care of their elderly parents if they feel respect and feel gratitude. Our parents brought us up, took care of us, sheltered us, fed us and gave us education until we reached adulthood. Yet, our parents might not have had the opportunity to have such luxuries when they were young as during their time, many from the older generation were still living in poverty. However, as they worked hard and put in effort, they were able to afford a better life for us, so it is correct that we repay them by taking care of them when they are old, just like how they took care of us when we were still
young. This shows that we, the children, still have respect for them and are lial as we undergo hardships just like our parents when they were taking care of us. Taking care of our elderly parents will also help to reduce the loss of culture in the next generation. In a highly globalised society, many things such as food, music, television shows or dramas will trend easily due to the development of information technology products. Teenagers today will get into these trends easily and even lose their cultural roots as a result. If children are able to take care of their parents when they are old, grandparents will be able to tell their grandchildren a few of their life stories, or even teach the new generation dialects so that they will be able to communicate in the native tongues of their forefathers. By doing this, the new generation will learn and pass down these stories to the next generation. Furthermore, they will live by these cultural rules like their ancestors did before, thus
reducing cultural loss in the newer generations. The values of lial piety and respect will also be passed down, thus further enriching each generation to follow. Taking care of our parents when they are older is like a test of responsibility. When we grow up, we will have to manage between job and family, where we will need to earn a stable income in order to support our families, including our children and our parents; and quite a lot of time and patience is required. Then again, our parents would have worked hard to earn an income that is able to support their parents and their children, just like what we, the children today, will have to do in order to take care of our families. This shows that our parents were persistent and determined to do a good job, which is what we can do and what we must be to take care of our parents. This shows that we are responsible children in the future, since our parents did it, so can we. It is notable that in this highly globalised society, many adults send their parents to nursing homes as they claim that they do not have the time to take care of them. From this, it is clear that these children are unable to strike a balance between work and family as they are showing less care and concern for their parents by spending more time at work, since they believe that “money makes the world go round’; which is not such a good solution to this problem. There are some adults that hire maids to take care of their parents as well as the house for them as they are at work. This might be a better solution as they will still be able to interact with their parents after work and take care of them with the help of the maid. In this highly globalised world, children are still able to take care of their parents as
they are respectful and lial, they want to reduce culture loss and because they are responsible children. Our parents are important, even in their twilight years; as they brought us up through the hardships they faced. Thus, it is right that we give back to society by taking care of them when they are older as well. 36
Teacher’s Comment The writer uses a scenario as a hook. He also develops all points fully using a clear P.E.E.L structure in his body paragraphs. The writer hasalso presented a counter-argument, providing a balanced view of this
topic. Overall, adequate justication was given to each point. It is interesting to note the idea of cultural preservation gained by taking care of one’s parents. Perhaps one area of improvement is word choice that demonstrates shades of meaning, as well as to rephrase ‘a highly globalised society’ which was repeated in the essay.
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4N6
Jini Teo
What do you consider to be the most signicant change in your life? How has this change helped you in your personal growth? What is the most signicant change in your life? That is a good question. You might wonder how, at my age, could I possibly have experienced a signicant change? Nothing has even happened, I have not lived. Well, I can see some truth in that . However it does not apply to me. Have you ever wondered what life would be or would not be if that polar: change did this not happen? Wouldwould you be happier, more think about day and night, I still be who I amcontent today?or thepolar opposite? I used to describe something that The most signicant change happened to me when I entered secondary school. This is the complete may sound cheesy and corny but no matter, I still consider it a huge change. Everopposite of since I entered primary school, I was a shrinking violet. I kept to myself, made just a something else few friends, and did not stand out the least bit. Whenever the teacher would ask, “Who does not understand the question?” I would keep mum albeit I did not understand. That was the beginning of my downfall. No matter how often my mother drilled it into my head to ask questions when I did not understand, her words would fall on deaf ears. Through the painfully long six years of primary education I stayed the same, never changing. Then it all changed when I stepped through the threshold of secondary school life. My mother had wanted me to step out of my comfort zone and enter a co-ed school. It was not that I was afraid of boys, it was just that I was haunted by the thought of having to make new friends, having to start all over again. I certainly did not want that. However, there was only so much I could do, my mother’s word was the law. Amidst all the negative thoughts, a ray of positive light peeked through the shadows. I thought maybe it would do me good. I have always been taught to see the good in the bad, to see the glass half full. Little did I know, my life was about to be changed.
I was still shy on the very rst day of school. But subsequently, I managed to open up, though I was still wary. Thankfully, my friends stood by me, they did not leave me even though they knew I would require some work. The boys in the class were friendly too. Everyone was nice to each other. That was one thing I did not expect. I had thought that people would be cold and distant and possibly mean. I honestly do not know what made me think that way. From then on, I have never turned back to the way I once was. I have proudly blossomed from ashrinking violet to an outspoken girl who is condent shrinking violet: in voicing her thoughts. For that, I am grateful to my very rst class in my secondary a way of describing a very school. shy person As time ew by in a heartbeat, I noticed myself slowly and steadily changing, evolving even. I was no longer that timid pushover that people could take advantage of. I am now a strong lady that will not take any nonsense. I learnt to be more vocal, more forthright and, more assertive, not to mention, friendlier. These are just a few of the superb values I have taken away from this whole experience. It has armed me with some invaluable andindispensable values in life. For that, my gratitude cannot be put indispensable: essential into words. Now, as I enter my fourth and nal year of secondary school, I realised how much I would miss my precious friends. I get teary-eyed whenever I think about it. These are the people that have stuck by me all this time, these are the people that have brought me up when I was down, these are the people that have always believed in me. Looking back, no matter what happens, I hope that we would still remain friends, even until we turn grey with age.
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Teacher’s Comments: The writer has a strong personal voice. Mental verbs such as ‘realised’, ‘thought’ and ‘believed’ convey her
innermost thoughts on school life. She has reected on her personal growth and transition over the years. Even though school life may seem mundane and routine, her observations display a keen analytical eye. There is also skilful use of gurative language such as ‘a ray of positive light peeked through the shadows’ and ‘to see the glass half full’ that express an optimistic outlook on school life. She has used repetition to great effect, repeating structures like ‘For that…’ at the end of paragraphs 4 and 5 to highlight her thankfulness. The same stylistic device is employed again in the nal paragraph, ‘These are the people…,’ to emphasise her appreciation for friends who have helped her emerge from her shell.
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4N6
NG GUO HAO
Should children take care of their parents when they are old? “Family is not an important thing, it is everything.” These words came from Michael J. Fox, an American-Canadian actor and producer. However, it is clear from the actions of some individuals today, not everyone live by his words entirely. Whether it is the challenge of differences inidealism, or disagreements in culture and customs, youths idealism: have become estranged from their parents due to these differences. However, what isthe pursuit of family? Is it simply people who are related by bloodline and inheritance living together? noble principles or Or is there a more emotional, deeper relationship behind what makes a family? Thispurposes brings us back to the question: Should children take care of their parents when they are old? In my opinion, children should take care of their parents, regardless of age, as it is estranged: morally right, it brings the family together and helps construct a more grateful society. no longer living with, in contact It is morally right to take care of our parents. The proverb goes, “Blood is thicker than with, or friendly water”. Yet, the unconditional love and affection from our parents cannot be expressedwith someone by mere words. They are our pillars of support, our umbrellas that cover us through the storms of life, through thick and thin. In fact, most of us would not even be where we are now without them. To repay their compassionate love for us by supporting them when they most need it – is it such an esoteric concept? Is it humane to abandon our parents esoteric: when they become old and a burden to us? Kindness begets kindness, and as such,obscure when we are showered with kindness, it is only natural to return the favour. Caring forofour parents when they are the old house can also tighten thecaused bonds by of family. Theplethora: plethora ghts that happen around is commonly a lack of understanding or distrust for one another. When the ghts break out, unhappiness is excess the only outcome, leaving behind a trail of regret and unspoken apologies . When a child takes care of his parents, he begins to understand them better, value the times they have together and become more emotionally attached to each other. This will ingrain ingrain: in both parties’ minds the importance of staying together. In return, happiness radiatesinstil
like the fragrance of a ower, and thus, the other family members will be inuenced by this positivity, and get along well with one another. From taking care of our parents, a more grateful society may ourish. We all respect and care for our parents, and more importantly, respect others who do so. Make it an iron rule to prioritise the welfare of our parents. In a society where we are iron rule: so heavily inuenced by the media and where there are daily reports of people sending a rule that cannot their parents to nursing homes, a good inuence can be re to kerosene. Others will be overturned start to see that the unity of a family with nothing but tranquil expressions can be forged, not by doing what we think is best for them, but what in fact is best for them. One may think that elderly parents should be able to support themselves because they are now only left with the problem of caring for themselves. Sure, without the burden of taking care of their children, taking care of themselves would seem like a easy matter in comparison. However, if we take into consideration that our bodily functions lose stride and performance as we age, we can dismiss this argument. When we grow older, we are less alert and our body functions no longer operate as well as before, like when we are ill. With this knowledge, ask yourself this question: Who was it that took care of you when you were sick? We should not neglect taking care of someone who is unwell, which in this case would be our parents. In summary, children should be taking care of their parents as it is the right thing to do.
It bridges the gaps of a family to and can inuence others be more grateful. Our parents were given the responsibility see that we would walktothe right path in life. So, let us walk with them, the paths of their lives, until their nal moments.
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Teacher’s Comments The writer uses a quotation as a hook before moving on to pose a though-provoking question on what
denes a family. The body paragraphs were very well-elaborated and supported with relevant examples. The writer demonstrates air in the use of similes and metaphors such as ‘pillars of support’, ‘our umbrellas that cover us’, ‘storms of life’ and ‘happiness radiates like the fragrance of a ower’. It is a very interesting and engaging read for the reader. Finally, the conclusion ends with an imperative sentence that calls on action from the reader. In a very subtle way, the conclusion actually reinforces his stand and unites with the introduction in bringing across the message.
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4N7
Czaryna Kaye Mendoza Clemente
‘Character development is the most important aspect of education in this modern society.’ Do you agree? ‘Education’. A term that has varying denitions, be it study-wise or character development. In today’s modern society, most of us still dene academic excellence as the only important aspect of education as many people think it is the only thing that will propel us to have a successful life. In my opinion, I am completely against that. I think that it is character development instead that is the most aspect of education as nothing is more important than one’s self-worth andimportant how we react to certain situations based on our attitudes and values. Having a good character will help us to cultivate values for life, be more civic-minded and have the ability to socialise socialise: well in our communities. behave in a way that is socially Firstly, character development will help us cultivate values that we will take with us toacceptable to our graves – values that no amount of studying can ever achieve, values that will bepeople with us until we die and values that we will pass on to the next generation. They are values that remain with us for life. Furthermore, character development will help the society to become more civic-minded people. We will be more gracious citizens, offering our help to those who need it more. For example, when we see elderly people on the bus, some of us will naturally give up our seats to them and when they see a pregnant lady crossing the road with groceries, we will help her to carry them. These are the little things that cannot be learnt in the classroom. The daily acts of kindness people do can never be picked up by reading books; these are feelings of sympathy andempathy, something we can never feel by empathy: studying. Thus, character development is very important. the ability to understand and Thirdly, it can help us to socialise well. By developing character, we will be able toshare the feelings communicate effectively with other people. In this society, in order to succeed, we needof others
to talk and mingle with other people. The way we act cannot be dened by books either. In order to learn it, we need to develop our character. Hence, it is very important. Some people might say that in a competitive place like Singapore, the key to survival is to study and obtain good grades which will secure a good future. While I have to concede to the fact that academic results are important, the truth still remains that our concede: self-worth is the most important. The values we have and pass on are more importantto admit that than any result slip in the world. something is true, logical, etc In conclusion, character development is still the most important aspect as it will help us cultivate values for life, help us become more civic-minded citizens and gain the ability to socialise well in this society.
Teacher’s Comment The structure of an argumentative essay is evident with points developed in a clear P.E.E.L framework. A balanced viewpoint is achieved through the skilful use of a counter-argument. Overall, both sides were
explored and adequate justication was given to each point. Perhaps one area of improvement could be to engage the reader through a more interesting hook. Another area to explore is the conclusion where the writer can restate her stand with varied vocabulary and leave her readers with a thought for the future.
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4N7
Yang Nanyang
‘Character development is the most important aspect of education in this modern society.’ Do you agree? “Education is the most powerful weapon that one can use to change the world,” is a sagacious quote by Nelson Mandela. Yes, education is apivotal part in everyone’s life. sagacious: However, the question is which aspect of an education has the most deterministic effectperceptive on one’s life? From my own perspective, I do not agree that character developmentinsightful, wise is the most important part of education in today’s society. Each development, be it academic, physical or aesthetic, play an equal role in students’ holistic development. pivotal: vital First and foremost, good character traits do not necessarily provide a student with the aesthetic: means to make a living. In this competitive world, highly skilled talents are in strong concerned with demand. Having a good character does not mean that one would denitely have good beauty and academic results, which stands him or her in good stead when one steps into theart and the working world. By the way, it is also difcult to assess one’s morality within just a short understanding of period of a job interview. In this case, the signicance of having a notable academic beautiful things
performance reected on a resume might overweigh the hidden personalities that one has. Clearly, an excellent academic background matters when it comes to the future pursuit of a career. pursuit: the act of looking In addition, physical education also plays a critical part in our curriculum. Not only for or trying to nd should one strive for good grades in the examinations, one also needs to maintain a something good health condition. It is commonly held that having a healthy body is the foundation of successful living. Signicantly, one needs to learn to have a healthy lifestyle by learning health tips and exercise during physical education lessons. In other words, a robust body serves to be an advantage to scaling greater heights. If one cannot evenrobust: protect himself, who can guarantee his survival in this fast-evolving and unpredictable strong and healthy world? This manifests the importance of physical development in a modern education system. manifests: clearly shows Moreover, aesthetic appreciation and skills to create art remain an emphasis of the education system. Encouraged to be well-rounded, students should not solely focus on a limited range of developments, it is important for them to embrace a variety of artistic expressions as no amount of technology on the globe can match the aesthetic beauty presented by a work of art, such as the drawings by Leonardo Da Vinci or the music of Beethoven. This necessitates in students, the ability to appreciate the arts through necessitates: the art lessons in schools which instil them with a different way to explore and discoverrequires various aspects of the world. To conclude, though education has revolutionised constantly to keep up the changing needs in our modern society,many aspects of education remain essential in this system. No single aspect of education can dominate the whole landscape of education. All parts
of education should work ‘collaboratively’ to benet the well-being of the student. After all, the crux still lies in the individual’s own priority in his or her life. This reinforces my the crux: stand that character building does not play the most superior role in today’s education.the most important or difcult part of a problem or an issue Teacher’s Comment Nanyang sets out a clear stand and lays out an overview of his arguments in his introduction, giving his essay and and direction. He goes to explain why the other given aspects of education are important. This isfocus a mature insightful pieceon with considerable thought to justify opinion. In equally addition, many
instances of good vocabulary demonstrate the writer’s language air.
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5E1
Lee Zhi Wei
‘Character development is the most important aspect of education in this modern society.’ Do you agree? In today’s society, education is all about preparing students with practical skills to solve real-life problems. The question is how do we decide what goes into the lifeskills set we equip our children with at school. Which type of skills should be given more prominence? Should character development be the most important aspect of our modern To me, it’sdevelopment a straight ‘no’. First andeducation?’ foremost, character is best handled by parents. Everyone’s
behaviour is a reection of their parents’ actions. Even with the emphasis on character development in education, it is challenging to change the values and attitudes ingrained ingrained: in children at home. Hence, character development should not be the most important describes aspect in education, as it is the duty of parents to mould the character of their children. something that has existed for a In addition, today’s companies look at the results of the students as an indication long time and is of their ability to perform on the job they are employed for. Education should thentherefore difcult focus on the academic progress of the students. For instance, learning history trains to change students to develop a certain degree of objectivity when one is confronted with different situations. History students are taught to detect bias, and to consider the perspectives of antagonists, in order to get a full picture of the events. This is an important job skill, for example, to an analyst or a journalist. Because employers perceive academic results as more important than character, education should thus focus mainly on teaching the necessary skills to prepare students for their examinations. On the other hand, critics may argue that without character development, students will not achieve much success despite having perfect academic results. This may be true to a certain extent. However, one must know that schools havefnite resources and fnite: time, therefore resources should be allocated according to the level of importance. having a denite Schools should then prioritise academic results as they ensure the future employability limit or xed size of their charges. As for character development, parents can manage it at home where they have control over which values to inculcate in their children. inculcate: to cause In conclusion, at the end of the day, character development should not be the mostsomebody to learn important part of education as what our society really needs today are results. and remember ideas, moral principles, etc, especially by repeating them often Teacher’s Comment Zhi Wei’s essay demonstrates a clear line of argument. Coherence is achieved through good organisation
and structure. In the introduction, he denes the purpose of education to help steer his argument. He sets out his stand clearly in the rst paragraph before presenting persuasive arguments to support his stand. A balanced approach is achieved in the penultimate paragraph where he examines the opposing view before a convincing defence of his stand.
44
5E2
Beverly Aw
What do you consider to be the most signicant change in your life. How has this change helped you in your personal growth? “The only thing that is constant in life is change.” Throughout my life, this saying has been instilled in my mind. No matter what, change will occur, be it a positive or a negative change. A few years ago, I have decided to govegan. Through that, I have vegan: a vegetarian who learnt many new things. omits all animal Since I was young, I have always dreamt of having a farm lled with animals when I products from the grow up. It has never struck me how people can be so cruel to animals. I have beendiet vegan for three years and I have never felt better. It is very challenging to be a vegan in Singapore. There are not many food outlets that offer vegan food. And being surrounded by people who are not vegan also contributes to the challenge. Being a vegan means not consuming dairy products, meat or anything related to animals. This narrows down a lot of food options. Fortunately, there are always alternatives. Why consume products that cause animals to suffer when it is not necessary? Many people believe that meat is essential for growth. However, research has shown that most vegans are surprisingly healthier than people who consume meat and dairy products. Furthermore, animals are tortured and put under excruciating pain in the excruciating: food industry. In order to be able to feed the population of today, food industries injectextremely painful, animals with substances that cause them to be much bigger in size to produce more causing intense meat or more milk.
suffering
When I was thirteen years old, I was obese. No matter how much I exercised, I could not lose any weight. At that point of time, I was not a vegan yet. I was unaware of the cruelty to animals in food industries. My parents tried consulting doctors on whether there was any way for me to lose weight in a healthy manner. Almost every doctor told me to exercise more and eat less. But one of them said “Try going vegan.” My parents thought the doctor was not being serious. However, I decided to give it a shot. Within a
month, I noticed a signicant difference. I have a lot of weight and also, I became much more optimistic about life. It is indeed true that you are what you eat. Becoming vegan has made me realise that no matter how hard a challenge is, there will always be a way. As long as one has the determination to accomplish a task, it can always be done. Everything is in the mind. If you refuse to believe that you can do it, you will most likely fail. However, once you set your mind to accomplish something, you will achieve it.
Teacher’s Comments Beverly started well with an apt quote that provided the context of her essay. Her essay took on a systematic structure where she related past experiences on her change. Her passionate belief is evident in her words.
She ended nicely with the reective component of lessons learnt from her experience and even offered advice to motivate others. It is a well-written piece of work with a personal touch.
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Inside Back Cover (Bank)
The art work for Cover Anime Drawing was done by Gan Wei Shuen of Class ISD4 (2014)
