Sinn's Inner Circle: 1
st
Edition
Opening 2.0 - Transcript Hey! What's up guys! Welcome to the First Edition of Sinn's Inner Circle. Today we are going to be talking about Opening. One of the things that is going to be different different about this interview series is that we 'r e going to be red oing all of the old inter view series I did but putting Versi on 2.0 on them, because we need to upgrade from where they were when they were recorded. Like the opening CD was recorded in 2005/2006, and where we are today as the face of dating science has kind of changed. So we are going to start doing that this month. Every month, I'm going to be coming at you guys with a new, at least hour-full of content, you'll learn things, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get to listen to me talk. It's a good deal for both of us . So today I want to talk about Reexamining the Opening Phase. The Opening Phase is the phase where you begin a conversation with a new girl or a new group of strangers. Maybe there are guys there, maybe it's all girls. It doesn't really matter. You can open during the day, you can open at night, you can open in a strip club, you can open on the street. You can open anywhere, and there are different openers for different situations but one of the things you will find is that almost all openers will fall into one of about five categories, and on this CD we're going to be giving you guys 25 separate openers that you guys can go out and use tonight. I wanted to be very, very practical with everything that I do. I do n't want to sit here and give you guys two hours of theory on wh y an opener should work evolutionarily, or why Hollywood would say this is a good opener. I don't care about that stuff. Instead, I care about making sure that you guys are ready to start meeting women , beca use meeting wom en in the real world is what this is all about. If you can't start a conversation because you don't know what to think of, listen to this CD. You'll have twenty-five different ways to start a conversation. So don't worry about that. All of this are going to be things that I have tested. I'm a big believer in field-testing material. I don't like the word field-testing, I like to think about it as performing experiments, but everything that I've done on this CD has been tested by myself and guys I'v e taught in real-world situations starting conversations with wom en. If any of these openers are not working for you, there is something that you are doing wrong, and it could be body language, it could tonality, it could be your facial expressions, it could be your fashion. fashion. It could be a myria d of things, t hat 's one of the reasons live instructions are so important, and tha t's wha t we do in our Boot Camps and stuff like that. But if the y'r e not working, it is something that you've done because I have personally used every one of these openers to go from meeting a girl to beginning a sexual relationship. So they all definitely work; this is my secret stash, I 'm literal ly emptyin g out my bag of tricks and
tactics and openers for you guys today. So I'm going to have no more new material that I can use that students won't be using across the world. That's how much I care, so I'm ready to do that for you guys. But before I do, I want to talk to you guys real quick about some theory behind opening. In my opinion, opening is both the most important and the least important phase, and I say that because i t's th e most important in that you have to open. If all you do for the rest of your life is rely on women to start conversations with you, your life will be very, very, very lonely and sad and you'll masturbate a lot using your tears for lube. It's not a good situation and I don't want that for you guys. So most of the time, as a man and we have to grab our balls and we hav e to make the first approach and we have to start a conversation; so how do you start a conversation, what do you need to accomplish, w hat is the goal of opening ? We 'll ge t to all of those questi ons and many, many mor e very soon. Bu t first, I want to examine the se cond part of what I was talking about before which is why it's the least important part of any social interaction; and the reason it is the least important part is because often times girls will not remember what you open them with 10 minutes later. It doesn't matter, it's a social pretext, it's just an icebreaker; it's a way to start a conversation. The more clever it is, the better it works, but you don' t need any excuse to start just saying "H i" to women. You do n't need to be afraid of that, you do n't nee d to worry that the y'r e going reject you, that anyone is go ing to be real mean to you. If yo u' re havin g approach anxiety, the first thing you should do, is just get up, go out to a mall or a heavily-trafficked area if you live in a city like New Yor k go anywhere . If you live in a city like Miami, go down to Lincoln Road. If you live L.A. go down to Venice Beach or something. I n Vegas, just walk around. Go so mewhere whe re there is going to be a lot of people, and jus t walk around and make eye contact and say Hi to girls you are attracted to. You don't need to do it to everybody jus t the girls you 're attracted to, a nd if one of them stops and tries to have a conversation, try to keep it going, but you don't need a crazy opener. One of the thin gs I teac h and that I really, rea lly believ e in is the idea of fundame ntal social skills. You should be able to just start talking by making an observation, or by sharing something that was on your mind, and once you really tighten your conversational abilities a nd your basic soc ial skills you will be a ble to do all of that stuff. But in the beginning, especially with guys who have a lot of anxiety, it helps to have something kind of ready. Now wh en I teach open ing, I r emind guys that they should not just use one opener. In the beginni ng for the first few week s, if this is you r first time e ver doing approaches, then stick to one opener. Stick to one opener for the first six weeks you're doing approaches just because it's less to worry about, you start to learn the contingencies of it, you get comfortable with it, and then you're better with it and you kind of can move from there. But if yo u'v e been in this six weeks to two year s, yo u'l l want to kind of vary your openers so you don 't get bored of them. I personally like to have between 3 and 5 openers that I use on a regular basis. So these range from things that are direct to things that are physical, to things that are just funny to me at the moment; and we will get into all the
categories of openers later; but what I want you guys to d o is, if yo u'r e really new, pick one, use that one every time. If you're a little more intermediate and a little more advanced then pick three, or four, or five openers and alternate them, and make sure that they're of different categories, because we're going to get into all the categories of openers and all the ways that you can open, and it's really important, that you guys definitely understand how to differentiate openers and what openers are appropriate and in what situations. Now, the first thing I want to talk about when it comes to opening is what the goal of opening is. The goal of opening is very simple, it 's to start a conversation and establish social comfort, r ight? Social com fort is one o f the mai n tene nts of my meth od of meet ing women, if you want to call it a method, it's really kind of a collaboration of a lot of different things that I've cobbled together over the years from training with kind of the best guys in the world, and learning from the best teachers, and hanging out with guys who're naturally good with women. But the first step is always social comfort. You see, in Classical Mystery Method, Mystery says, "Attraction comes before comfort, comes before seductio n;" and a lot of the time it 's probab ly true. Like probab ly 60% of the interactions you're going to have with women, attraction will have to cap in before comfort; but what about those 40%? O f those other 40 % sometime s seduction happens , sometime s comfort happens, sometimes a million different things happen, and the law of attraction usually predates comfort, in starting a conversation comfort actually predates attraction. You see, the old linear idea of a linear way to meet women, going through 13 steps, or 22 steps, or 9 steps, 4 steps, 5 steps, is kind of gone by the wayside recently, wh en people realize that most people are not that robotic and most women are not that difficult to pick up. So a linear structure reall y does n't take into acc ount a lot of real life situation s, suc h as 10-minute lays, things that happen to me on a pretty regular basis. Such as things like physical attraction, if a girl's physically attracted to you things are going much better. Where does that fit into the linear model? Y ou 'v e already gotten attraction, but if you haven't gotten attraction yet through your signals, how are you supposed to know? So I realize game was cyclical. A couple years ago when I realized that qualification, comfort and seduction all kind of mingled into this flowing cyclical process, and we' re going to talk a lot about that and how all that thing works with the entire idea of seduction in later issues of this interview series, but today, I just want to talk to you guys about the idea that comfort is what you're trying to establish on the opener, you're not trying to establish attraction necessarily. Now can you establish attraction? Absolutely, and I'll teach you how to do that today as well. But the idea is social comfort. Now why is social comfort so important, and why does it come before attraction? Well, the first person who introduced me to the idea that comfort had to come before attraction is a gu y named AFC Ada m, a friend of mine who teaches with the comp any over in London, and in the overall idea of pick up, I looked at that and I thought that's really interesting, and I looked at all the pick up lines and the tactics and the technique s, beca use we kno w why we think they work, but a lot of the time yo u'l l have to rem emb er that dating science is only about 10 years old so may be a lot of the presupposi tions and a lot of the ideas on which we based our original body of knowle dge
are not correct, or were never correct to begin with. So we want to make sure that we know what we know for a reason. So I looked at Opinion Openers, right. Do opinion openers build attraction? No , th ey' re neutral. In fact one of the main points of an opinion opener is that you do n't care who y ou 're talking to, you really jus t need an opinion, so those attraction, then you look at openers like Mystery's "Have you guys seen the fight outside?" opener, does that build attraction? Not really, no; again it's just a neutral way to break the ice, so you look at all of these things, all these ways peo ple were o pening for years, and years and years and none of it was building attraction, so are we really starting an attraction, or does attraction come after a separate phase? It all really hammered home for me when I started thinking about what comfort is, beca use comfort is really jus t an absence of discomfort. I t's an absenc e of the feeling telling you, you sho uldn 't be doing this, beca use a lot of huma ns, evolutionarily, we have these impulses and these drives to get away from social awkwardness or from things that are uncomfortab le, and so if you do n't have that drive to kind of escape yo u' re basically comfortable. Bored is often comfortable, so I started thinking like, can you be attracted to something that's not comfortable, and I thought about it like this, and I want everyone to think about this if you're really having a problem with the idea of comfort before attraction. Im agine that you'r e walking down the streets of Ne w York City, and yo u'r e walking down and you see down this alleyway, this shady druggy looking alleyway, there is a girl wh o' s dressed like a stripper. S he' s wearing like sparkly pants, she 's basically jus t decked out, and she's about halfway down alley, kind of concealed in shadows, you can't really see all of her, but you see bits of her, and s he' s like. "He y come down this alley, I need directions. I need directions to somewhere, come down here and give me directions." Are you going down that alley? If you 'r e most people , yo u'r e not, and the reason is, even though you're attracted to her, your overwhelming sense of self-preservation is stronger. It' s the same reason that you could have th e best opener in the world but if you go out brandishing a knife, people are not going to open, even if you walk up and you open over the shoulder. If yo u'r e holding a knife in your hand; or if you 're smeared with blood people are not going to open. So the overa ll idea of open ing; is to open and get people co mfortab le with the idea of having a conversation with you. That's it, that's all we're trying to do. Nothing fancy, we're not trying to build attraction, we're not trying to give them our life story, we're not to use like any Jedi Mind Tricks, or Ninja Framing or anything like that, all we're trying to do is get them open to the idea of having a conversat ion with us. I 'm going to talk all about how to do that and I'm going to give you 25 examples of ways to open while we do this. Another real quick thing I want to talk about while we're talking about social comfort; is the idea of day game versus night game. So during the day you're going to be a lot more turned down, you're going to use about 30% of the energy level you will normally use, but in daytime, because people aren't in a social mode, to establish social comfort you're going to use what's called a Pre-opener. So any of these openers that you would use besides the direct ones, anything like a high-value opener, an opinion opener, a low-investment opener that you're going to hear later on.
If yo u'r e going to use them during the day use a pre-opener first, and a pre-opene r is just a normal, social question like, "Hey, do you know where the bank is around her?" Or, "Do you know where I can find a cup of coffee?" Or, "Do you know what time it is?" Just something to get her in social mode, because there's a big difference between a girl in a bar or a club where she's expecting to meet people and socialize and talk to her friends, and a girl who's out on the street who's kind of in her own world doing her own thing. So if yo u'r e going to use those three t ypes of opener s: • high-value • opinio n, or • low-investment Make sure that you first use a pre-opener just to get her attention and into a social mode if you're doing a daytime pickup. Alright! Let's talk about a couple other things before we actually get into the 25 openers that I want to teach you guys. The first thing I want to talk about is the idea of being loud. You have to be loud; in fact, you have to be so loud that it is socially awkward for the people to ignore you. There is a couple different things for being loud, the first thing is the idea of vocal projection. Vocal project jus t means that you 're projecting your voice from your diap hragm not from you throat or your chest. If you speak from your throat or your chest and you just go out and scream you will use your voice a lot, but you will get a louder voice. Ultimately though, you don't want to be losing your voice all the time and all hoarse, like I went through that for boot camp after boot camp after boot camp. So instead what we want to do is we want to make sure that we're speaking from our chest, diaphragm. If you need to find your diaphragm take a minute right now, take your middle finger and your pointer finger and find the notch in your ribs, then take a big deep breath and breathe until your body forces you to stop breathing, and keep exhaling until your body forces to breathe, it will happen, and you'll feel a muscular contraction. That muscular contraction is something known as your diaphragm, so we always want to make sure that tha t's wh ere we 'r e speaking from. So y ou kind of locate it in your chest, and then the second thing with over-projection after using diaphragm and speaking chest first is, you want to make sure that you're using your exhale. The power for your voice comes from your breath, so if you speak on the exhale you will have a lot more power and be a lot louder. The last thing I want to say with speaking loudly is aiming your voice. If you want to talk to someone you want to aim one person behind them. So if I'm speaking to a group of 3 people I'm going to aim my voice at the person who's furthest away from me because I know that if it carries towards that person, it will be loud enough for the other two to hear without any problems, or anything like that. So make sure that you're speaking from the diaphragm using the power of your air and your breathing, and making sure that you' re aiming your voice farther through, much like you punch through a board in karate. You want to aim your voice through the group. The next thing is when you approach you have to smile, you have to, have to, have to smile. Being like suave and like and sexy and playerish it just really doesn't work; smile,
look like you're having fun. The way I think about it is like you've got a blow job in the bathroom. Like you're walking around and you just had the best time in the world, nothing can bring you down. You're enthusiastic, you're bringing the party, you're having your own fun, yo u'r e not worried about other peo ple 's outco me or judg ment s, you feel like everyo ne accepts you, y ou 're ha ving the time of your life and you do n't worry about whether or not this set is going to go well, or it's going to go badly, because no matter what you're having a great time, nothing can ruin this night for you. Big, big smile; real fun; if you're one of the people that doesn't smile, get the bullshit idea, like smiling makes you low-val ue, out of your head and plaster a smile on your face the entire y ou 're in a bar or a club. It will work better tactically and you'll also feel better because it will buy feedback and you'll start to feel in a much better state. The last thing I want to briefly touch on is Body Language. Body lang uage is one of the most misunderstood myths, over studied things in dating science. There is no such thing as Super-Alpha body language. There is no such thing as perfect body language. Good body language is just relaxed and controlled. Slow movement, not moving too fast, not in a hurry, just nice and slow, not afraid to take up space but not actively trying to take up too much space. Lengthening and straightening is huge when it comes to body language, you want to make sure that your body is completely lengthened, completely straightened. Your shoulders should be back, your arms should be swinging. You don't want to cany any tension in your shoulders. You also should make sure that your head is straight. A lot of people be nd their heads do wn or forward, do n't do that. Y ou also want to make sure yo u'r e leaned back and that your weight is evenly distributed. One of the biggest things I'v e seen from teachin g 158 boot camps at this point, is that if you do n't keep yo ur feet shoulder-distance apart, yo u'r e going to lose your balance if yo u'r e opening in a crowded place bec ause people are going to bump into you, and if people ke ep bumping into you, it looks like you're trying too hard to stay and talk to these girls, because you're getting like, bumped into. But if you simply shift your feet a little bit further out and you keep your shoulders above your feet, you'll actually have no problems getting bumped and you'll also c ome off a lot mor e confide nt. Another thing a lot of guys tend to do is, they tend to shift from foot to foot, almost like they have to pee , and they don 't notice it, so if you jus t keep your feet further apart it's harder to do those shifting, ner vous motion s that convey that you have a lot of nervous energy. Also, make sure that you don't move your hands too much. Hands movements can be cool, b ut if you do it too muc h, it starts to interru pt the noise to sign al ratio. We alwa ys want the signal to be what people are getting to be what we're saying verbally. Body language is just there to not complicate that. You don't need your body language to be sending any crazy message or anything like that, you just need it to send a clear confident picture that you are what you say you are, and that what you're doing is what you think is working, etc. etc. The more relaxed, the better, don't worry about this too much, don't lean in, keep your arms in your back pockets if you have to, you can tuck your thumbs in your back pocket. You can also cross your arms at the wrist and grab them behind your back, you can also pinch your middle finger and your thumb together and hold them down at your s ides; and if you really, re ally need to you can clasp them together in front of you like a priest kind of and just kee p them low. But if you are going to do hand move ments or
anyth ing like that, be awar e to kee p them out of the gir ls' faces becaus e guys are a little bit taller than wome n and so if yo u'r e getting your hands all up in a gir l's face i t's not the most comfortable situation for her, and it's something that eventually she'll want to get out of even if she likes you. So those are some basic primaries on opening, social comfort, what we're trying to establish why it's important, etc. Now let's get into some actual practical types of openers, things that you can go out and do today or tonight that will get you into conversations with women. The first type of opener that I want to talk about is the Direct Opener; and a direct opener is important because it does two separate things, the first thing it does, it lets the girl know that you're interested in her in a man-woman way. Direct openers are great because they cut through a lot of the bullshit. Y ou d on' t have to worr y about going through all of these different stages, in pretending to be uninterested and then being won over, instead you're interested and you're confidently displaying that you're the type of guy who is totally okay to meet girls and that she's attractive and that you're expecting her to be attracted to you. One of the things that dete rmines whe ther a direct opene r is going to work or not is yo ur overall level of confidence and belief in yourself. If you walk over and you run a direct opener and you don't think that you can actually get the girl, you're going to have a lot of problems. You have to walk over with 100% certainty that this girl would be interested in you just because you're you. You'll also then have to deal with flinch because the girls are going to test you to see if tha t's actually true . If you actually are as confident as you 'r e pretending to be. So you have to smile and act like everything is completely normal even when they're giving you shit after a direct opener. The second thing to keep in mind is that you want to make sure that you keep eye contact as you approach, especia lly if the y'r e testing you. I f the y'r e giving you congruence test, so they're like, "You say this to all the girls." Which is another thing that can happen with direct openers; then you have to be prepared for that and you have to be able to handle that. We'll talk about handling congruence test further on down, but the big main thing there is: don't disagree, and make it funny. So the girl's like, "Yeah, you do this to every girl;" I'll be like, "Yea h, you 'r e the first one of the night but I'm sure, you know, I'll get to 20 or 30 in here." Or like, "Yeah, I do but I really mean it with you." So let me give you five of my favorite direct openers. The first direct opener I'm going to give you is what's known as an Introduction Opener. It's something that works really, really well during the daytime, and I'll give you a couple different tweaks to use it during the day and at night. So first, let's talk about using it in the daytime. This is an opener that you can use on girls who are walking around during the day or any situation where you have less than five minutes to try and get a girl's phone number. This opener is great for daytime. I'll show you how to alter it for nighttime, but daytime is where it's really the most powerful. It really is the best way to meet girls during the day in my opinion. It's very quick, it forces the girl into an instant yes or no decision and it's very flattering and
allows you to do a lot of things. So I'll g o, " Hey, I know this really rando m but I noticed you from across the park," or subway, or wherever I am, "...and I knew if I didn't come over here and mee t you and see if the re' s more to you than meets the eye, that I' d be kicking myself for the rest of the d ay —I 'm .. ." and your name here. So that's awesome for daytime, moving girls, girls in an elevator, or anything like that really quickly, it takes a lot of balls but gets a really good response. So le t's go through that one more time; and that's, "Hey, I know this is really random," the really random part is really important because it's pacing. She's not normally having guys approach her, especially this directly during her workday So "Hey, I know it's really random, but I noticed you from across from (wherever you are), and I knew that if I did n't co me over here and mee t you and see if the re' s more to you than meets the eye that I' d be kicking myself for it for the rest of the day, I'm ... " and your name ther e. So th at' s great during the day, now how can we use that at night? At night, that's a little intense, you don't want to be that serious, and you don't want to be that romantic at night, because nighttime is a little more playful situation, girls are there to flirt, the y' re there to drink; th ey 'r e there to not get swept off their feet. So at nightti me that introduction opener, just change it a little bit. I'll just change it to, "Hey! What's up? You guys looked cool and I had to come over here and meet you, I'm..." and you introduce yourself, and that's basically it. Now with an introduction opener, you're going to want to get the girls to introduce themselve s right away. So if the y'r e like kind of lagging or they're laughing or they're like giving you any kind of congruence test, just go "And you guys are?" Or, "And you are?" That will prompt them to introduce themselves. Num be r 4—fav orite direc t opener: T his one come s from a friend of mine who wor ks for W-Dating named Craig; and this is the Are You Shy Opener. This one is great for a bar or a club. I t's really cool anywhe re though. So it's great if the girls are behind you, you can also jus t walk up to them and do that though. You jus t go, "H ey! Are you shy? Because I've been standing here for like five minutes and you haven't like grab my ass, you haven't bought me a drink, you haven't asked me what my sign is, what's going on; You guys must be shy?" Great opener, funny, still direct because you're still directly approaching them and you're conveying interest. It's just a sub-textural interest; you're flirting with them openly but it's not coming out and being like, "Hey! You're super hot," which is not a good direct opener. You 're hot is not a good direct opener, you 're sexy, is not a good direct opener, / want to fuck you, is not a good direct opener, can I buy you a drink is not a good direct opener, do you want to dance; is not a good direct opener. So: "Hey! Are you guys shy? Because I've been standing here for like 5 minutes and you haven't bought me a drink, you haven't grabbed my ass, you haven't asked me what me what my sign is, what's going here? You guys must be shy." Number 3 favorite direct opener: This is one of my brand new ones, so I just got it hot off the press, it works really well, especially right now, especially with younger girls. I call this my Facebook Opener. So you walk up to a group of girls or by herself, and you go, "Hi! You looked really interesting and I wanted to come over here and meet you. You can consider this like a real life Facebook friend request. So you guys want to be my friend?"
It' s funny, it's cha rming, i t's cutesy, it's witty; i t's a lot of good things all at once. I t's culturally relevant especially with younger girls, and it's just kind of cute. So let's go through that one more time. You go, "Hey! You looked interesting and I wanted to come over here and say hi, you can consider this like a real life Facebook friend request, do you want to be my friend?" Number 2; my second favorite direct opener of all time; this one actually came up with by my buddy Future, who used to work for Love Systems, with me, and I've modified it a little bit so I'll say it's mine, and his. So you go, "Hey guys! I'm really bored, my friends are having a stupid discussion about day job s, or IT, or whatever they' re talking about; and if you guys ar en' t really interesting I 'm going to pound my head against the wall until I black out." Or, "I'm going to take 20 shots until I black out." Or, "I'm going to go home and kill myself." So: "Hey guys! My friends are having a really boring conversation about their day job s, so I really hope yo u guys are interesting, b ecause if not I'm goi ng to bang my head against the wall until I pass out." That's probably my favorite of all times. It's only second on the direct opener though because it's a little bit longer than this first one which is really the easiest direct opener of all times, and it works really well. The number 1—my favorite direct opener of all time, is; "You guys look cool, are you friendly?" Or, "You look cool, are you friendly." Or, "You're cute, are you friendly." Or, "That's a really, really nice purse, are you friendly?" Anything—are you friendly. Because just the are you friendly prompts a conversation, you can use that in a supermarket, you can use it in a mall, you can use it at the bar, you can use it anywhere, anytime, which is what makes it my favorite direct opener. So there you go; five direct openers. Now the second type of opener I want to talk to you guys about is a High-Value, Humorous Opener. These are openers that are really funny, and that actually can build value and build attraction. Most of the time, these are going to come from a higher place. It's obvious that you're fucking with them because only high-status people mess with people. Think like the cool kids in high school picking on nerds, think like jocks hazing each other, think like military hazing. Only people of higher status will kind of fuck with and abuse lower-status people. It's not necessarily the coolest human trait but it does set the rule and set the status, so if you go into an interaction with a girl or a group of girls and you use an opener where you're kind fucking with her or teasing her, or them, and they accept it, you've gained status, because only a high-status person would do that. Now most of the times these are going to hav e to be funny, otherwise yo u'r e not going to get away with it. You c an' t jus t walk up and be like, "Wh at' s up guys! It' s time to fuck, which one of you hoes wants to fuck me ." Obviously, you know, if a girl was going to commit to that she'd be giving you higher value but it's just not going to happen most of the time. So without further ado; my five (5) favorite High-Value Humorous Openers: Number 5: Horse Girl: this is a Brad-P opener, I love this opener, it's great. It' s kind of long and it does get a very wide rang e of reactions especially the more together you are, like the cooler you come off or the better looking you are, the problems you're going to have with
this opener, because you can come off like an asshole. So, here it goes, it goes, "Hey! Do you like hor ses ?" And the y'll say, "Y es— No— Wha t are you talking abo ut?" If they say yes or no you co ntinue to the ne xt part, if they say what are you talking about, then obviously just repeat it. I like to repeat it in a retarded voice, like: "doo you like horses?" or I may go, "Okay check this out, when I was in high school there was this really dorky girl who used to have horses on everything, like horses on her notebook, horses on her locker, she even used to run around at lunch and pretend to be a horse, and you look just like her." Then at that point they'd either be like "No, I'm not the horse girl." Or they'll be laughing or the y'll be like, "Yea h, I' m her," and they' d play along. If they are like, "No ," or they're playing along, you go, "Look! I wouldn't admit to it if it was me either, I just wanted to come over here and tell you that I was really sorry for that time that we stuffed hay in your locker and hope that you can forgive me, can you ever forgive me?" Then you open your arms for a hug. The reason I like this opener so much, is that it's very high-risk, very high-reward, as are all these humorous high-value openers. Risk-reward is something that runs throughout the game, the more risks you take the bigger reward you potentially can get. But you will sometimes fail on the risks, and horse girl, sometimes the girls will get insulted, they'd go, "What are you saying, that I look like a horse," or they'll get crazy with you sometimes, but it does work really well and when it does work, it's an amazing opener; and you go straight to a hug. Great opener, Brad-P is awesome, definitely check his stuff out. Next one—This one came about with myself and the Don, this is the Trial Support Opener. This one is kind of like an opinion opener, and when we get to opinion openers you will see how it fits the opinion opener structure and everything. This one goes, "Hey guys! I'v e a really, really important question; I hav e to figure out whic h one of my kids I'm going to pay child support for, you see I have three kids from four different mothers, and I can only afford to pay one of them , most ly becau se I like to go to the track , so I 'm not really sure who I 'm gong to pay. I can't pay the first one because she's actually the mother of the second one , and then my ex-wife is jus t kind of a cunt, so I 'm not really sure wh o I should pay. What do you guys thing? It really sucks because my bastard kids really don 't appreciate shit either." Again, ve ry risky, very offensive to some peo ple but if the group gets that you're fucking with them and they think it's funny, you're really in with this opener. So again the key here is selling that you're fucking with them and not that you're actually this deadbeat loser dad. So let's go through that one more time. "Hey guys! A really serious question; I've got like three kids from four different mothers, and I'm not really sure which one of their child support I' m going to pay this month. I can only afford to pay one, because I like to go to the track. So I'm not really sure who to pay. My ex-wife, she 's kind of a cunt, and the second one is actually the mother of the third one, so I'm not really sure who to pay there; it could be a difficult situation, plus my bastard kids really don't appreciate shit." Really funny opener when that one hits. Next one—The Secretary Opener; this one came up with Savoy one night when we were out trying to see who could be the more offensive and get kicked out of girl groups, him or myself, ended up, neith er of us got kicke d out of any gro ups and we e nded up meet ing girls and getting dates out of it. So yo u'v e also got the Secretary Opener. So you go, "He y
guys! I've been fucking my secretary for like six months, and now she wants she wants a raise, but I told her she has to wait a year, what do you guys think, should I give her a raise?' and she'll be like, "What?" "Yeah" I mean like look, I'm the one who taught her you have to give head to get ahead." "But she's like, "Daddy, no, I want a raise now," and I'm like, "Bitch you wait six months. What do you guys think?" And they'd be shocked and give an opinion, and you can then go, "Well would your opinion change if I told you she was my sister? What about if I told you she was only 16? What if I told you she was in a wheelchair? What if I told you she had polio?" And you can just keep going until they get that it's a jok e and that you' re fucking with them. The next one I want to talk about is the Didn't We Have Sex Last Week Opener. This one, I know Brad-P has talked about it, I experimented with it when I was down in Australia, just because I was frustrated one night and I actually did think I'd slept with this girl, and it almost worked, and so it did eventually end up working. So basically you walk up to a girl and you go, "Hey! Didn't we have sex last week, (or last night)?" Then you make up any kind of scenario, the one that I always do, I go, "Look, no, you did, we were on the beach, it was me you and that young Indian lass who ran away naked and you left me like a tuft of your hair, and I' ve tuck ed it und er my pillo w for a whole wee k. I' m sorry I didn't call you but I was off fighting pirates and scallywags..." Obviously I have a pirates thing; but other versions I've heard are like, "Yeah, it was you and your sister, and I meant to call you, you guys weren't bad at all, don't feel bad, (etc. etc.)" That one's again high-risk high reward, if the girl thinks y ou 'r e fucking with her and she thinks i t's funny, that's a good one. The last one actually comes from my buddy Jeffy who works over at RSD (Real Social Dynamics); and this one is the Douche Bag Opener; and this one is another of my favorite s. So you go up to the girl or a group of girls and you go, "He y! Do you like douche bags?" and they'd be like "Yes—no—I don't know—what are you talking about?" and I'll go, "Because I am one, do you want to be my friend?" So like, "Hey! Do you like douche bags, because I am one. Do you want to be my friend?" Great opener. So those are high value, high risk, high reward openers. Those are the ones to use if you kind of plateaued and you're bored with opinion openers and you want to try to do things to build attraction right away, start experimenting with those direct openers. Direct openers also can build attraction right away through just confidence. These build attraction right away through balls and outrageousness. So the next type of opener I want to talk about is the Community Classic, The Opinion Opener. Probably the most talked-about technique in the entire community. Basically opinion openers are great because they're low-risk and they have no effect on your closing percen tage. Like, if you think about an opener that has like high opening percen tage, low closing percentage, it's something like, "Hey! Do you have the time?" You think about an opener that has high closing percentage, low opening percentage, it's like "Do you wanna fuck?" Opinion openers have a really high opening percentage and there is no effect on closing percentage because it's all based on what you do after the opener. So let's give you guys some opinion openers; first I want to give you guys my opinion opener structure.
So the first thing with opinion openers is you have your hook questions. You always want to start with Hey guys, or Hey what's up, or Hi, or settle something for me and my friends, or Yow. Something commanding, not like: Hey excuse me, do you mind, I'm sorry to bother you; or anything like that. So first thing with an opinion opener is you have your hook question. So I 'm going to give you guys five of my favorite opinion openers. The first one that I'm going to give you guys is my Get Ready Opener. This i s one o f the first openers that I ever invented in the community. You go, "Hey guys! How long does take you guy s to get read y for a night ou t?" N ow the se cond part of the ope ner is their illusionary input, you're going to need them to talk back, so they'll say, "I don't know, an hour." or 15 minutes, 2 hours, 6 hours, 9 hours, whatever they say, it doesn't matter. Opinion openers you don't want to get sucked into a conversation about your opener. You jus t want to open and transition off of the opene r as quickly as possible . So then yo u' re going to tease whatever their answer is. The cool thing about Opinion Openers is it gives you a reason to tease the girl so it doesn't feel so non sequitur. You don't ever need a reason to tease girls, but a lot of guys feel like they kind of need a reason to do it and so they look for reasons to tease girls when it is emotional communication, not logical and you don't need one. So you tease their answer, " Oh my God, an ho ur? " Or, if you want to be really mean then you go, "So that took an hour, yikes." With a big smile obviously; then you go okay, "So check this out..." then you're going to try to root the opener, the rooting is just the story that answers the imaginary question, of why are you telling us this. "So check this out: My buddy Anthony, is 3 hours late, it's taking him 3 hours to get ready and the worst part is he's a guy, and even worse than that is that he dresses all urban, so he's going to show up here in a Fubu sweatshirt and a backwards baseball hat, I mean, how long does that take?" Again, just a funny little story that grounds while you're asking and then you transition out of the opener. So tha t's my Get Ready Opener, "Hey guys, h ow long does it take you guys to get ready. Oh my God, that took an hour. Check this out I've been waiting 2 / hours for my friend, and the worst part is he is a guy and he dresses really urban, so he's going to show up here, in like a sweat suit and a hat," and like, "What am I supposed to do about that?" ,
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The next opener I want to give you guys is my Phone Break Ups Opener. Phone break up opener goes like this: yo u go, "He y! Wh at' s the appropriate way to get off the phone with a girl you're kind of dating?" I like this opener because it's what I call a pre-selection opener, because it lets the girls know that you're dating other people and that you're not an exclusive dating person, and it also shows that you have girls in your life. So I go, "Ch eck this out, I just got off the ph one wit h this girl that I'm da ting, sort of, and she got really mad at me bec ause she said I got off the phon e badly ." I usua lly like to just say, "Okay I'll talk to you later, and she said, no. You're supposed to say goodbye, wait for her to say goodbye, and then say—that's right, a third goodbye." That's crazy, right? Then they'd go like; yeah—no—whatever, transition. So, "Hey, how are you supposed to get off the phone with a girl that you're kind of seeing? Check this out; this girl that I'm kind of dating just got really mad at me because she said I got off the phone really badly, I like to
just say, I'll talk to you later. She said, you're supposed to say goodbye, wait for her to say goodbye, and say, that's right—a third goodbye. That's crazy, right?" Number 3: Drunk I Love Yous, this is one of my classic o pene rs, this i s jus t a real cla ssic opinion opener. You go, "Hey guys! Do you think drunk I love yous count? Yes—nowhatever; and again always tease their answer. "So check this out, my buddy Dave..." You always want to give a name to any story that happened about a friend, because otherwise the girl's might think it's you, or ask if it's you; "My buddy Dave got really drunk last night told his girlfriend that he loved her, she totally freaked out, so this morning he tried to take it back, can you even do that?" "Hey guys, do you think drunk I love yous count? My buddy Dave got really drunk last night and told his girlfriend that he loved her, she didn't say it back and he totally freaked out. This morning he tried to take it back. Can you even do that?" Number 2: The Set Up Opener; this is a good opener for when you're out alone because it explains why you're off meeting people. So you go, "Hey guys! How do you let someone know that you're not interested without hurting their feelings?" Again, always tease off the opener. You go, " Check this out, I was with some friends tonight and they'r e trying to set me up with this girl and she's really pretty, I'm just not really into her, how can I let her know without breaking her heart, I don't want to be mean to the girl, she's just not really my type, you know." "Hey guys! How do you tell someone you're not interested without hurting their feelings? So check this out, my friends and I were out tonight and they've been trying to set me up with this girl for like two months, I finally met her tonight, she's really pretty and all, she's not really my type, you know, so how do I let her down without like hurting her feelings? Because I mean look at me, like who wou ldn 't want to be with me. " Tha t's a little cockiness you can throw in if you think you can pull it off. Do n' t throw in cockiness if you obviou sly are not, you know, like a suave man, or if the girls ar en' t going to believe it, because it will just look lam e. The last opinion opener I'm going to give you guys is my 80s Song Opener; "Hey guys! Do you know who sang that song Died in Your Arms Tonight?" And they'd start thinking, and I'd be, "Okay look, check this out, it doesn't really even matter, it's actually Cutting Crew, but me and my friend, we had this bet and so, I told him I was going to ask you guys, so just point over to my friend and say, Cutting Crew, and I'll get my free drink, cool?" They'll either agree or they won't agree, or they'll be like, "Oh, I don't know, I can 't help you." If the y'r e giving you a hard time, and they 're like, "No I do n't want to speak to you," "Just help me out." This is a great opener for guys in the set as well, you say, "Help me out," then point towards your friends, or if you're out alone point towards another group, "Cutting Crew." "Okay cool. Let me just stay over here and talk to you guys like for a minute, so that nobody suspects that I just faked them out; then I'll go get my free drink. So where are you guys from?" The reason I love this opener is that it creates a conspiracy between you and them. It's not really an opinion opener, but it kind of falls into the overall structure. I didn't really know where else to put it and it's probably my favorite opener of all time for mixed sets at least because it's just really easy, like it's fun, it seems like a bar bet. Bar bets are another way to open, you know.
So again, "Hey guys! You guys know who sings that song Died in Your Arms Tonight? Okay, you know what, it doesn't really matter, this is just for a bet that I have with my friend so just look over there and say Cutting Crew, alright, now I've got to stay and talk to you guys so it doesn't look like a set up, for a second. You guys are awesome, where are you guys from?" Or any other question or transition. The next type of opener I want to talk about, is the Low Investment Opener. Lo w investment openers are good because they don't require a whole lot of investment from the girl, they're not as long as opinion openers, they're not as much of a come on as a direct opener. They're not as shocking as high-value openers, these are just really easy openers that you can use. So the first one, I'll teach you guys is one that me and Captain Jack came up with called The Nose Ring Opener. So the nose ring opener goes like this. The girl has a nose ring and you go, "Hey! Is your nose ring real?' and they'll be like, "Yes, (or no)" and you go, "Look check this out, I was just talking to this girl and I made her laugh and her nose ring fell out, it was fake, and then she looked at me at she was like, can you help me get that? And it was like, "I do not know you well enough for that, not ye t? " Then they'l l laugh. Now if the y'r e interested and they want to keep the conversation going they can contribute and say something, otherwise they can just walk off. These are really like openers that bait women to keep talking to you. So let's go over that one, one more time; "Hey! Is that nose ring real? I was talking to this girl earlier and I made her laugh and her nose ring actually fell out, and then she wanted me to like help her look for it on the floor, and I was like, it is too early in our relationship for me to be looking snot with you." Next one: is the Rings on Fingers Opener. This is a great one for daytime, and you can also use it in a bar. You see a girl with a ring on her finger, you just go, "Hey you picked a really interesting finger to wear your ring on; did you choose that?" And sometimes it will hook here, and they'll be like, "Yeah, I did." And I'm like, "Cool." They say the fingers you wear your rings on are like a psychological statement about yourself. If she goes, "No;" you'd be like, "Ah! That's a shame, they say the fingers you wear your rings on are like a psychological statement about yourself and that's an interesting one." At that point they should be like, "What is it?" And you go "Well, the Greeks believe that every finger is like a different Greek god or goddess and the one you pick, it's like the one you psychologically identify with. So that one actually has a double meaning, it's Athena who is like the goddess of wisdom , and it 's also Dionysu s which is the god of wine and chaos. So if you believe in such things then there is a part of you that's really together and with it, and there's another part of you that's like whew\ That's just a little cold read; and girls who respond to that always agree and then you can give them permission to keep wearing that ring on that finger. That's another really good one. So "Hey, did you pick the finger you wear your ring on? They say the fingers that you wear your rings on are like a psychological statement about yourself, that's an interesting one; well the Greeks believe that every finger is like a different Greek god or goddess, and the one you pick is like the one you psychologically identify with. That one is real interesting because it's got a double meaning, It's Athena who is like the goddess of
wisdom , and i t's a lso the Dionysus who is like the god of wine a nd chaos. So if you believe in such things, there's a part of you that's really together and with it, and there's another part of you tha t's like whew\ I love that opener. Next is my You are Very Opener; so this one started off as a Mystery opener where he would go, "You're very little, you know, my mom when she used to point out girls that were really short, she'd go, she'll be perfect for you, and I always used to date just really tall girls to make her mad; and so now until this day my mom will point out short women for me, and I always date really tall girls, so like I brought my last girlfriend to meet my mom, and my last girlfriend was like 6'1" and she looked at my mom and my mom looked at her and she said, she's so tall, there is a generation of small women going dateless because of you;" and that's great, that's a great opener. But you can do that about anything, I'll do that with like clothing, I'd be like, "You're very red" or "You're very tall," or "You're very cute," or "You're very anything-;' and then I'll just make up a little story to go along with it. That's a great one, like you're very anything, and then a little cutesy story is a great way of doing this observational thing. So play along with that, make a list of things that you can say a girl is very. Obviously very fat doesn't work, or very slutty doesn't work, you're very shiny, is one I've used before, and then I was like "You are very shiny; I was attracted to the light like a moth to a flame, don't get any ideas though, I'm not going to like follow you around, I might flick you though." That's a great one. The next one is my— I Point Out The Obvious one, so here is where I will point out the most obvious feature on a girl, and then say it, sometimes I'll go like, "You're very tall," and I wont run the full version of that opener whi ch I just ran last time, and they' ll be like "Th ank s." " I point out the obvious; it' s kind of my thin g." Probab ly like, "You have a vest on. I point out the obvious; it's kind of my thing." Or "You have a shiny necklace—I point out the obvious, it' s kind of my thing. " Or, " Yo u' re blond— I point out the obvious, it' s kind of my thin g." Th at' s a great one, i t's fun, it's cutesy, depending on the reaction you get you'll either get a conversation going or you wo n' t if the y'r e really not interested; but another really good low-investment opener. y
The last one, is yo u' re adorable is a really good low-investment opener because if the girl is flattered by it she'll stop and talk to you; "You're adorable;" and then stand there. This is especially good if you 're in a crowded club and girls are walking by you, because if you can get 30 seconds to a minute of conversation there you can spark something that you can then continue later. So "Y ou' re a dorabl e," is a very low investment opener if you just say, you 're adorable and you tap the girls. Now the last thing I want to talk about is physical openers. Physical openers are really, really simple, they're just things that you do without verbally saying anything, it can start a conversation. So the first physical opener that I have is a very use-at-your-own-risk one. The only reason I include this one is that I actually do use this to open a fair amount. What you do is you poke a girl on the stomach and you smile. So a girl's walking by and you poke her in the stomach, not hard, not like in the groin area, around the belly button or up, and then you just smile, and you look her in the eyes. Sometimes they'll poke you back,
sometimes they'll say hi, sometimes they'll be like what the hell are you doing; sometimes they be why did you do that; but you will always get a reaction, if you get a bad reaction, you can just try to turn it around, you know if she goes, "What the hell are you poking me for?" I'd be like, "I like to poke people, it's kind of my thing, but don't worry you can poke back I'v e got abs of steel ." If the y'r e like "H i, " I'l l just start a normal conversation, if they poke back then I' d poke them, the n I'll try to tickle them and I'll jus t try to escalate physically at that point and see how far I can go before I actually have to talk. The next one I want to talk about is the High Five. High fives are great. High fives you can do them in a verbal or non-verbal way. Maybe both, the verbal way, I'll be like, you guys are adorable, you get a high five." Or I'd be like, "You have an awesome shirt, you get a high five." Or "You're cute, you get a high five." Or, "You're short, you get a high five." Anything pointing out the obvious; you're shiny, high five. The non-verbal way is to just like put a high five up as you're walking by, make eye contact and put your hand up. Again high fives are a good thing for attraction. Any girl who like hooks her hand around your hand, hooks her fingers around your fingers is attracted to you and wants you to give her the penis, so be aware of that. The next one is A Tap; I love this one because this one is really funny, it's like the humorou s high value opener of physical op eners. It' s basically what you do, is you jus t tap the girl on the opposite shoulder and move to the other side. So I go, "What's happening..." and you're behind her and tap her on the left shoulder and move right, and then I'd tap her on the right shoulder and move left, and when she finally like notices, I'd look her right in the eyes and wave; really funny. You can also use it as a way re-initiate with girls later after you've been talking to them, it's great, and once they finally look at you, I' d jus t look at them a nd be like: / can't believe that worked; or / can't believe that worked again. I'd be like, it's Don Juan and Random Girl zero. Next one I want to talk about is The Wave: waves are great ways to start conversations too, they just say you're saying "Hi." They're great across the bar if a girl makes eye contact with you, you can just wave and then go over there if she waves back, if she doesn't wave back, you could be like, "I waved at you, what the hell." You can also do it; when you are really close to a girl and it's just a nice way of acknowledging the tension, if you're like making eye contact with the girl and you're really close to her, just wave. It's a really good way to just break the ice because you can do it across subways, you can do it across malls, you can do it anywhere, just wave at girls. The last one I want to talk about is the idea of The Motion Over; the one finger like beckonin g them over. Y ou' ll be surprised ho w often that will work. If you can make eye contact with a girl, and she's looking at you and you motion her over, what's going to happen is, half of the time they're going to motion you to go over there, and now you've got a really warm approa ch and the other half of the time the y'r e going to wal k over. Yo u have to mak e eye contact with the girls first, you can' t just do this if the y'r e not looking at you, but if a girl's looking at you, yo u have a fifty-fifty chance of getting a conversation started, by motioning them over. Don't be afraid to do it; don't feel like you need
something really great to say, I usu ally motion them over and jus t be like, "If you are going to look at me like that you have to come say hi." Or, "You are way too cute to like stand over there and not say hi to. " Anythin g like that, you can even use any of the openers that we've already talked about, except obviously an opinion opener. I guess you could use horse girl, which is a high value, hu morou s opener. But any of the other ones are fine. So after the opener, you hav e to transition, and transitioning is the process of getting into a normal conversation, because a lot of different ways to do this; in fact we're going to talk about that on the next CD, but for right now I just want to get it into your heads the idea that once your opener is don e you have to take the reins of the conversation. Reme mber you appro ach them, the bur den of keeping the conversation fun and interesting is on you, not on them. You cannot rely on them to keep the conversation going or keep it going in a positive direction, so instead, yo u'v e got to be on that and doing 90% of the talking to make sure that they're having a good time, they're entertained, they're interested in what you're saying, they're laughing, they're getting emotionally stimulated, this, that and the other. So that's actually going to be the subject of discussion next time. But for right now, for this month listen to the CD, use these openers and then try to keep the conversation going, even if you 're a sking boring questions. In fact I'll give you guys one quick technique on transitioning out of an opener that is one of my favorites from my personal stash, and that is questioning the statement. For example, let's say you've just finished an opener, and you want to ask them where they're from. Instead of asking them where they're from, flip it around and make it a statement; and say, "You guys look like you're like East Coast girls." Or, "You guys have like a West Cost vibe." Or, "I get it, you guys are from Idaho." Because questions are like drawing money out of the bank, but you never kno w when you 're go ing to overdraw, so you want to avoid them as much as possible. Statements are better, plus you get the same information. If the y'r e from the East Coast, the y'll be amaze d that you were able to guess that and would want to know how. If the y'r e from so mewher e else, they 'll want to know why you thought they were from the East Coast, and it gets the same thing, and you can look for the same commonalities, and you can do all the same things you would've done after you ask that question. So be aware of turning questions into statements and tha t's your first way of transitioning off your opener. Next month we'll be back at you guys with another CD on what to do after you open. Until then, I am Sinn. Be sure to check out my blog at www.sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com - that's—s-i-n-n-s; and make sure that you guys have checked the Lay Report Book and the Game Acceleration Doctrine and we're going to have a lot of new cool stuff for you guys in Sinn's Insider Series which will be coming at you every month. So thank you guys for listening, and I'll talk to you guys next month.
