CHAR CH ART T OF IMPERTURBABILITY Wanting to be Safe, Secure, to Survive Wanting Approval Wanting Control APATHY
Bored C an’t win C areless Cold Cut-off Dead Defeated Depressed Demoralized Desolate Despair Discouraged Disillusioned Doomed Drained Failure Forgetful Futile Giving up Hardened Hopeless Humorless I can’t I don’t care I don’t count Inattentive Indecisive Indifferent Invisible It’s too late Laz y Let it wait Listless Loser Lost Negative Numb Overwhelmed Powerless Resigned Shock Spaced out Stoned S tu c k Too tired Unfeeling Unfocused Useless Vague Wasted What’s the use Why try? Worthless
GRIEF
F EAR
Abandoned Abused Accused Anguished Ashamed Betrayed Blue Cheated Despair Disappointed Distraught Embarrassed Forgotten Guilty Heart-broken Heartache Heartsick Helpless Hurt If only Ignored Inadequate Inconsolable It’s not fair Left out Longing Loss Melancholy Misunderstood Mourning Neglected Nobody cares Nobody loves me Nostalgia Passed over Pity Poor me Regret Rejected Remorse Sadness Sorrow Tearful Tormented Torn Tor tured Unhappy Unloved Unwanted Vulnerable Why me? Wounded
Anxious Apprehensive C autious Clammy Cowardice Defensive Distrust Doubt Dread Embarrassed Evasive Foreboding Frantic Hesitant Horrified Hysterical Inhibited Insecure Irrational Nausea Nervous Panic Paralyzed Paranoid Scared Secretive Shaky Shy Skeptical Stage fright Superstitious Suspicious Terse Terrified Threatened Timid Trapped Uncertain Uneasy Vulnerable Want to escape W ar y Worr y
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LUST
Abandon Anticipation C allous C an’t wait Compulsive Craving Demanding Devious Driven Envy E xploitative Fixated Frenzy Frustrated Gluttonous Greedy Hoarding Hunger I want Impatient Lascivious Lecherous Manipulative Miserly Must have it Never enough Never satisfied Oblivious Obsessed Over-indulgent Possessive Predator y Pushy Reckless Ruthless Scheming Selfish Voracious Wanton
EMOTIONS IMPERTURBABILITY Wanting to be Safe, Secure, to Survive Wanting Approval Wanting Control ANGER
Abrasive Aggressive Annoyed Argumentative Belligerent Boiling Brooding Caustic Defiant Demanding Destructive Disgust Explosive Fierce Frustrated Fuming Furious Harsh Hatred Hostility Impatience Indignant Irate Jealous Livid Mad Mean Merciless Murderous Outraged Petulant Pushy Rebellious Resentment Resistant Revolted Rude Savage Simmering Sizzling Smoldering Spiteful Steely Stern Stewing Stubborn Sullen Vengeful Vicious Violent Volcanic
PRIDE
Above reproach Aloof Arrogant Bigoted Boastful Bored Clever Closed Complacent Conceited Contemptuous Cool Critical Disdain Dogmatic False humility False virtue Gloating Haughty Holier than thou Hypocritical Icy Isolated Judgmental Know-it-all Narrow-minded Never wrong Opinionated Overbearing Patronizing Pious Prejudiced Presumptuous Righteous Rigid Self absorbed Self satisfied Selfish Smug Snobbish Special Spoiled Stoic Stubborn Stuck-up Superior Uncompromising Unfeeling Unforgiving Unyielding Vain Wicked Willful
COURAGEOUSNESS
ACCEPTANCE
Adventurous Alert Alive Assured Aware Centered Certain Cheerful Clarity Compassion Competent Confident Creative Daring Decisive Dynamic Eager Enthusiastic Exhilaration Exploration Flexible Focused Giving Happy Honorable Humor I can Independent Initiative Integrity Invincible Loving Lucid Motivated Non-resistant Open Optimistic Perspective Positive Purposeful Receptive Resilient Resourceful Responsive Secure Self-sufficient Sharp Spontaneous Strong Supportive Tireless
Abundance Appreciative Balance Beautiful Belonging Childlike Compassion Considerate Delight Elated Embracing Empathy Enriched Everything’s okay Friendly Fullness Gentle Glowing Gracious Harmonious Harmony Intuitive In tune Joyful Loving Magnanimous Mellow Naturalness Nothing to change Open Playful Radiant Receptive Secure Soft Tender Understanding Warm Well-being Wonder
Vigorous Visionary Willing Zest
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PEACE
Ageless Awareness Being Boundless Calm Centered Complete Eternal Free Fulfilled Glowing Light Oneness Perfection Pure Quiet Serenity Space Still Timeless Tranquility Unlimited Whole
APATHY
Desire is dead because it’s no use. We can’t do anything and no one else can help. We withdraw and play weak so we won’t get hurt.
Results in:
Feeling Cut off Dead Defeated Dejected Depressed Despairing Discouraged Disillusioned
Downcast Drained Exhausted Fatigued Futile Helpless Hopeless Low
Negative Numb Overwhelmed Pessimistic Powerlessness Resigned Tired Weak
Thinking I can’t. I can’t win. I don’t care. I don’t count. I don’t know how. I don’t matter. I give up. I’m doomed
I’m useless. I’m worthless. It’ll never work. It’s a dead end. It’s not use. It’s too late. It’s too hard. Let it wait.
No matter what I do, it doesn’t make a difference. No use, why try. No way, forget about it. No way out. Tomorrow. What’s the use. Why bother.
Acting Careless Catatonic Disassociated Defeated Forgetful Giving up
Inattentive Indecisive Indifferent Lazy Listless Negative
Passive Spaced Out Stuck Unfocused Unresponsive Withdrawn
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GRIEF
The desire for someone to help us because we can’t do anything but we think maybe someone else can—we cry out for that someone to do it.
Results in:
Feeling Abandoned Abused Accused Ashamed Betrayed Blue Cheated Despair Disappointed Distraught Forgotten Guilty Heartbroken Heartache Heartsick Helpless Hurt
If only Ignored Inadequate Inconsolable It’s not fair Left out Longing Loss Melancholy Misunderstood Mourning Neglected Nobody cares Nobody loves me Nostalgia Passed over
Pity Poor me Rejected Remorse Sadness Sorrow Tearful Tormented Torn Tortured Unhappy Unloved Unwanted Vulnerable Why me? Wounded
Thinking Do it for me, I can’t do it myself. I can’t do anything about it. I can’t do it right. They’re taking advantage of me. I’ll never get it right. They’re doing it to me.
I’m less than. If only. It’s all my fault. It’s not fair. I’ll never recover. It’s not my fault.
Nobody wants me. Poor me. I’m the victim. Why me? Nobody loves me. Woe is me.
Acting Acting helpless Attention seeking Complaining Crying Dramatizing Flustered Helping others at your own expense.
Hysterical Martyr Melancholy Moping Morose Needy Neglecting self and others Nostalgia: “the good old days”
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Pouting Seeking comfort Self-conscious Sobbing Suffering Wailing Weeping
FEAR
The desire to strike out but not doing so because we think they will hit us harder. The desire to reach out but not doing it because we think we’ll get hurt.
Results in:
Feeling Anxious Apprehensive Caged Cautious Cowardly Distrusting Disturbed Doubt Dread
Engulfed Exposed Faint Fidgety Frantic Insecure Nervous Panic Skeptical Sheepish
Strained Tense Terrified Threatened Timorous Trapped Uncertain Unsafe Vulnerable Wary
Thinking Crisis after crisis. Disaster’s looming and I’ve got to hide. I can’t let them find me out. I don’t want anything to change. I have to get it right or they’ll kill me. I have to get them before they get me. I’m not OK.
I’m confused and don’t know what to do, so I can’t do anything. I’m not enough. I’m not safe. I’m trapped, there is no way out. It’s closing in around me. It’s so confusing that I just can’t move. It’s not safe.
It is safer to stay still and not take any chances. They’re out to get me. What if I fail? What if I get fired? What if I get into trouble? What if I make a mistake? What if they don’t like me? What if…? What will they think?
Acting Agitated Ambivalent Apologetic Chaotic Confused Cowering Cringing Defensive Disorderly Distraught Distrustful Disturbed Embarrassed Evasive Frenzied Frozen Hesitant
Hyperactive Hyper-focused Hyper-vigilant Hysterical Indecisive Inhibited Irrational Lack of clarity Meek Mistrustful Nervous No action Not trusting Overwhelmed Panicky Paralyzed Paranoid
Procrastination Quaking Scared Secretive Self-sabotage Shady Sheepish Shock Shy Superstitious Suspicious Timid Traumatized Tremble Tunnel vision Wishy-washy
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LUST
The desire for possession–Wanting. The hunger for money– things–people, but with hesitation. We may or may not reach out. There is an underlying sense that we cannot, should not have.
Results in:
Feeling Ambitious Anticipation Appetite Craving Demanding Desire Envious Excited Frustrated
Gluttonous Greedy Heedless Horny Hot Hunger Insatiable Jealous Less than
Longing Ravenous Reckless Sensuous Sexy Voracious Wanting Wanton
Thinking I want… Do it my way. Don’t stop. How can I get it? I can’t wait. I have to… I like it this way. I must do it my way. I must have it.
I need you. I need them. I need… I want excitement. I want it all. I want it now! I want more. I want to know. I want to figure it out.
I want to understand. I’m not satisfied. I’m starving. It feels so good. Look at me. Me, me, me. My way is the only way. There won’t be enough for me. There isn’t enough.
Acting Addictive Attention seeking Chaotic Compulsive Covert Desperate Devious Devouring Driven Excessive Exploitive Extravagant Fixated Frantic Frenzied
Hoarding Impatient Inconsiderate Indecent Lascivious Lavish Lecherous Lewd Licentious Manic Manipulative Miserly Obsessive Out-of-control Over indulgent
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Over-eating Panting Predatory Pushy Risqué Ruthless Seductive Self-centered Selfish Uncooperative Unruly Vulgar Wild With abandon
ANGER
The desire to strike out, to hurt and stop the other one, but with hesitation. We might or might not strike out.
Results in:
Feeling Agitated Annoyed Boiling Disgusted Disturbed Explosive Fierce Frustrated Hateful Irritated
Jealous Livid Mad Malicious Outraged Perturbed Rageful Resentful Sizzling Smoldering
Steely Stern Stewing Sullen Upset Vengeful Violent Volcanic Wicked Willful
Thinking Do it my way or else. Don’t even think of it. Don’t push me around. Don’t tell me what to do! Drop dead! F… off! F… you! Fat chance.
Get out of my way. I’ll get even! I’ll get them. I’ll kill you! I’ll never give in. I’m not doing anything. If they don’t listen to me, I’ll let them go down the tube.
Me do it your way–not on your life. Not a chance. Not on your life. Now you’ll pay. Out of my way. Who do they think they are? You better do it my way, or else!
Acting Abrasive Abrupt Abusive Aggressive Attacking Barbarous Belligerent Biting Blinded Bloodthirsty Brooding Brusque Brutal Callous Caustic Cold
Crazed Cruel Curt Defiant Demanding Deranged Destructive Discourteous Disrespectful Exacting Ferocious Fierce Gruff Harsh Headstrong Heartless
Instigating Intimidating Inflexible Invasive Malevolent Maniacal Merciless Nasty Obstinate Offensive Passive-aggressive Petulant Pigheaded Profane Provoking Punishing
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Pushy Ravaging Rebellious Resistant Rude Ruthless Sarcastic Savage Spiteful Strife Stubborn Talking about others Uncooperative Unyielding Vengeful Vicious
The wish to maintain the status quo. Unwilling to change or move–therefore, the wish to stop others from movement as they might pass us up.
PRIDE Results in:
Feeling Above it all Aloof Arrogant Better than Complacent Conceited Condescending Contemptuous
Cool Disdain Haughty Holier than thou Icy Irreverent Judgmental Pious
Rejecting Righteous Rigid Smug Special Superior Uncompromising Unfeeling Vain
Thinking I’ll just reject! How dare you! I knew that. I know everything. I know. I won’t associate with “those kind” of people. I’ll look like I’m agreeing and do it my way. I’m better than all of them. I’m better than you.
I’m in a better place than all of you. I’m not like them. I’m right. I’m smarter than everyone else. I’m the only one who can do it right. I’m the only one who can get it done. I’m the savior/hero. I’m too busy with important matters to have time for you.
It’s your fault. Maybe I’ll do it and maybe I won’t. My way is the only way. What do they know? What’s wrong with you? Who do they think they are? Who do you think you are? Why is everyone so incompetent? You don’t belong. You need me to get it done.
Acting Aloof Arrogant Bigoted Blaming others Boastful Bored Closed Complacent Conceited Detached Disrespectful
Distant Dogmatic Egotistical False Humility Gloating Hypocritical Indifferent Know it all Narrow minded Never wrong Opinionated
Patronizing Pompous Putting others down Remote Sabotage Sanctimonious Self-absorbed Self-centered Self-important Snobbish Spoiled
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Stoic Stubborn Stuck-up Talking against others Unforgiving Impenetrable Unreadable Unyielding Withdrawn Walk away
The willingness to move out without fear or hesitation–to do–to correct–to change wherever needed. The willingness to let go–to move on.
COURAGEOUSNESS Results in:
Feeling Alert Alive Assured Aware Centered Cheerful Clear Confident Cooperative
Delighted Eager Energetic Exhilarated Focused Grounded Gusto Happy Heartiness
Hopeful Independent Invincible Loving Lucid Non-resistant Open Optimistic Passionate
Purposeful Receptive Resilient Safe Secure Stable Willing Zealous Zest
Thinking I can I can get it done. I can listen. I can respond appropriately. I do what’s needed and it works. I know we can.
I’ll do what it takes to make it work. I’m willing. I’m willing to take risks. It can be easy and effortless. It is as easy as it was hard.
It’s possible. Let’s work together. We can do it. We’ll find a way. Yes!
Acting Able Aboveboard Adaptive Adventurous Bold Brave Candid Collaboration Commitment Compassionate Competent Cooperation Creative Daring
Decisive Dedicated Dynamic Enjoyment Exploration Flexible Focused Forthright Gallant Generosity Giving Goodness Gratification Honesty
Humorous Initiative Inquiry Insightful Integrity Inventive Motivated Partnering Perceptive Persevering Persistent Playful Pleasure Resourceful
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Risk-taking Robust Self-sufficient Sharp Solution focused Spontaneous Strong Supportive Tireless Unpretentious Valiant Vigorous
ACCEPTANCE
No need to change anything. No judgements of good or bad. It just is and it’s OK. It is beautiful as it is. I have and enjoy everything as it is.
Results in:
Feeling Accepting Allowing Attuned Beautiful Childlike Compassionate Contented Delighted Elated
Enriched Flowing Fulfillment Glowing Happy Harmonious Innocent Joyful Loving
Mellow Open Playful Radiant Receptive Satisfied Secure Soft Well-being
Thinking All is well. Everything is beautiful. Everything is OK. Everything is unfolding as it should. I accept you.
I have what I need as I need it. I love you just as you are. It’s all coming together. We all have a contribution to make.
Acting Abundant Accepting Appreciative Balance Benevolent Caring Clear-sighted Co-creative Compassionate
Devotional Embracing Empathy Friendly Gentleness Gracious Insightful Intuitive Magnanimous
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Naturalness Non-judgmental Orderly Receptive Satisfied Tenderness Understanding Warm Wonder
PEACE
I am–I am whole, complete, total unto my Self. Everyone and everything is part of my Self. It is all perfect.
Results in:
Feeling Awareness
Eternal
Pure
Boundless
Free
Quiet
Calm
Fulfilled
Serene
Centered
Glowing
Oneness
Complete
Light
United
Thinking All is well.
It’s just perfect.
Everything is unfolding as it should.
We are one.
I am.
Acting Actionless
In equilibrium
Serenity
Balanced
Infinite
Spacious
Centered
Limitless
Stillness
Composed
Perfection
Tranquil
Connection
Poised
Unlimited
Flawless
Quiet
Whole
Imperturbable
Self-possessed
Witnessing
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SCALE OF ACTION Peace
I am—I am whole, complete, total unto my Self. Everyone and everything is part of my Self. It is all perfect.
Acceptance
No need to change anything. No judgments of good or bad. It just is and it’s OK. It is beautiful as it is. I have and enjoy everything as it is.
Courageousness
The willingness to move out without fear or hesitation—to do—to correct—to change wherever needed. The willingness to let go—to move on.
Pride
The wish to maintain the status quo. Unwilling to change or move— therefore, the wish to stop others from movement as they might pass us up.
Anger
The desire to strike out to hurt and stop the other one, but with hesitation. We might or might not strike out.
Lust
The desire for possession—Wanting. The hunger for money—things— people, but with hesitation. We may or may not reach out. There is an underlying sense that we cannot, should not have.
Fear
The desire to strike out but not doing it because we think they will hit us harder. The desire to reach out but not doing it because we think we’ll get hurt.
Grief
The desire for someone to help us because we can’t do anything, but we think maybe someone else can—we cry for that someone to do it.
Apathy
Desire is dead because it’s no use. We can’t do anything and no one else can help. We withdraw and play weak so we won’t get hurt.
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