Secrets of 5-Minute Chemistry Part 3.pdf

5-Minute C Chemistr y Br eakthr ough Pr ogr am P Par t T THREE: Comf or t: Putting It All Formula Together! The Proven for Turning a Friend into a Lover, Every Single Time

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©Sinns of Attraction Attracti on 2011

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5-Minute C Chemistr y Br eakthr ough Pr ogr am P Par t T THREE: Comf or t: Putting It All Formula Together! The Proven for Turning a Friend into a Lover, Every Single Time

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Table of Contents INTRODUCTION ....................................................................................... 4 PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER ....................................................................... 5 The five best tactics for social comfort:.............................. comfort:............................................. ............................. ............................. ............................. ...................... ........6 Learning Learnin g How To Use Questions ....................................... ..................................................... ............................. ............................. ............................. ....................... ........ 10 Learn to Ground Yourself Yoursel f ........................ ....................................... ............................. ............................ ............................ ............................ ............................. ..................... ......12 Enthusiasm ........................... ......................................... ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................ ......................... ...........14 Maintaining Maintai ning Conversati on Ratio ........................... .......................................... ............................. ............................ ............................ ............................. ..................... ......15 Teasing ........................... ......................................... ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................ ............................. .................. ... 16 Building Build ing Attraction ........................... ......................................... ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................. ........................... .............17 Pre-selection............. Pre-selecti on........................... ............................ ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................ ....................... .........18 Frame Control................................. Control............................................... ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................ ............................ ............................. ................. 18 Being Non-Reactive Non-Reacti ve............................ ........................................... ............................. ............................ ............................ ............................. ............................. ......................... ...........20 Emotional Emotiona l Fluidity ............................ .......................................... ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................. ........................... .............22 Pre-selection............. Pre-selecti on........................... ............................ ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................ ....................... .........23 Role Playing ............................ .......................................... ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................. ....................... ........24 Adding Likeness ........................... .......................................... ............................. ............................ ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................ .................. .... 25 The Five Best Tactics of Likeness ......................................... ....................................................... ............................ ............................ ............................. ..................... ...... 26 School or Work Connections................ Connect ions............................... ............................. ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................. ....................... ........ 27 Food and Entertainment Entertai nment..................................... ................................................... ............................. ............................. ............................ ............................. ....................... ........27 Local Celebrities ............................ ........................................... ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................ ............................ ............................. ................. 28 Connecting........................................ Connecting......................... ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................ ............................ ............................ ............................ ..............29 Pop Culture Cultu re........................... ......................................... ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................. ............................ ......................... ...........29 Section Recap ............................ .......................................... ............................ ............................. ............................. ............................ ............................ ............................ ..................... ....... 30

CONCLUSION ......................................................................................... 31

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INTRODUCTION Welcome to the final e-book in the 5-Minute Chemistry Program—5-Minute Chemistry Part 3—Putting it all Together. Hi, I'm Jon Sinn. This program is going to teach you how to never run out of things to say— ever again, as well as how to create instant chemistry with any woman anywhere. It's so exciting! 5-Minute Chemistry is literally going to change your life! I know a lot of you have emailed me over the years, saying, “I really am struggling with getting out there to talk to women because I just run out of things to say. I started the conversation and then it just trails off and I end up feeling even worse about myself than I did before”. So if that’s you, in the next section, I've got you covered. It's going to be full of information on how to never run out of things to say ever, ever, ever again. That will be a thing of the past very, very soon. In this last e-book, I'm going to teach you the tactics and techniques that will allow you to make chemistry with any woman no matter how little you two have in common. That’s something you are really going to want to pay attention to because I'm going to teach you how to use the formula that I'm going to reveal to you in this section today. I'm super excited that you’ve made it all the way through this program, and it's now time to put it all together. In this e-book, we are going to go over the exact steps to creating chemistry in five minutes or less. In this e-book, I'm going to break down the five best tactics for social comfort, the five best tactics for attraction and likeness, and how to transition between the three. So, by the end of this e-book, you will be armed and ready to create chemistry with any woman, anywhere. So far, we've gone over the inner game of chemistry in our first e-book, where we defined social comfort, attraction, and likeness. And in the second ebook, we talked about how to never run out of things to say ever again, which is a skill you're definitely going to need if you want to create chemistry in five minutes. So by the end of this e-book, you will know the inner game of creating chemistry, how it all works, and the actual scientific stuff that’s going on psychologically. You’ll know how to never run out of things to say, so that you don’t end your conversations too quickly because you're not sure of what to say

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©Sinns of Attraction 2011

or what to do next. And you're going to now learn the tactics and techniques for social comfort, attraction and likeness, as well as how to transition between the three of those. Very exciting stuff! A lot of content in this e-book, you may want to read it a couple of times to make sure you get everything in it. There is a very simple formula for chemistry, and once you learn it, and you learn the tactics and techniques to create it, you will be able to create it at will anytime you want. Let’s get started!

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER Alright, in this e-book section, I'm going to teach you exactly how to create chemistry in five minutes or less. So we are going to talk tactics, techniques, process, chemistry—that’s all coming together in our next section. You will definitely want to read it, because I'm going to teach you how to take everything we've learned in the last two sections, and put it together. I'm super excited that you’ve made it all the way through this program, and it's now time to put it all together. We are going to go over the exact steps to creating chemistry in five minutes or less. In this section, I'm going to break down the five best tactics for social comfort, the five best tactics for attraction and likeness, and how to transition between the three. So, by the end of this section, you will be armed and ready to create chemistry with any woman, anywhere. So far, we've gone over the inner game of chemistry in our first section, where we defined social comfort, attraction, and likeness. And in the second section, we talked about how to never run out of things to say ever again, which is a skill you're definitely going to need if you want to create chemistry in five minutes. By the end of this section, you will know the inner game of creating chemistry, how it all works, and the actual scientif ic stuff that’s going on psychologically. You’ll know how to never run out of things to say, so that you don’t end your conversations too quickly because you're not sure of what to say or what to do next. And you're going to now learn the tactics and techniques for social comfort, attraction and likeness, as well as how to transition between the three of those. Very exciting stuff! A lot of content in this section, you may want to read it a couple of times to make sure you get everything in it. Alright, so let's start with social comfort. 5


We already talked about what social comfort is. It's the idea of making people comfortable with you, and the best way to make people comfortable with you is by being friendly and neutral or non-threatening. That means you don’t need to be aloof, you don’t need to try to be too cool, you don’t need to be rude, you don’t need to be very interested right away, you don’t need to hit on the girls right away. You want to start in social comfort by being friendly and neutral. Once you’ve started a conversation, it's time to transition immediately to social comfort. It's very, very important that you don’t try to go straight to attraction, that you don’t try to go straight to likeness, or qualification, or comfort, or any of the things you read on the Internet. Once you’ve started a conversation, it's time to get in to social comfort and just show her that we are fun, we are neutral, we are not trying to hit on her right away, and that she wants to be in this conversation. The end goal for social comfort is not to get the girl attracted to you, the end goal of social comfort is just to get the girl committed to the conversation or hooked, in the pick up vernacular. That just simply means that she would rather continue having this conversation, rather than have you leave. She is happier that you're staying and talking to her, than she would be if you left or you didn’t talk to her anymore. That’s it. It doesn’t mean she's attracted to you, it doesn’t even mean she's interested, it just means she's interested in the conversation.

THE FIVE BEST TACTICS FOR

SOCIAL COMFORT:

Transitioning— Learning how to transition off your opener, as well as between topics.

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Learning how to use questions— Questions and statements are a very misunderstood part of social comfort. A lot of guys think they should never ask a question. Learning how to ground yourself — Learning how to talk about yourself. You have to talk about yourself in all aspects of pick up, as well as attraction, but especially so in the first three to five minutes. Talking about yourself in the right way is really helpful. Learning how to be enthusiastic— Learning how to get into what you're saying is a big part of social comfort. Call it delivery, call it attitude, call it charisma, but enthusiasm is a big part of social comfort. Using a correct conversational ratio— There is a lot of bad information out there about conversational ratio, I want to set the record straight about how much talking you need to be doing versus how much talking she is going to be doing.


Alright, so now, we are going to jump into each of these five tactics. W e're going to assume that you’ve started a conversation, and now we are going to teach you how to build social comfort quickly and easily.

TRANSITIONING The first topic is transitioning—transitioning is easily the most important skill of social comfort. You must transition the conversation forward and keep it focused on the topics you want to talk about. So the first transition is going to come right after you start a conversation. No matter what type of opener you use, whether you made something up on the spot, whether you’ve used an opener every day for the last 10 years, whether it's an opinion opener, a direct opener, — or whatever the opener is— immediately after the opener is finished, you need to transition into another conversation. The goal of transitioning is you want to go from your opener, or from your topic, to a normal conversation or a conversation that ranges over a wide variety of topics in a normal, natural way. You don’t want to have those awkward pauses when you get through an entire subject and it's like, “Oh, what do we talk about now?” So to keep you from having that awkward and not so fun interaction, I want to teach you the three best ways to transition. These can be used either off your opener or they can be used when you're already on a topic of conversation. ASK A SET UP QUESTION The number one best way to transition, in my opinion, is asking what's called a set up question. A set up question is basically what politicians do all the time. If you’ve ever noticed, politicians, when they want to talk about something, it's very rare that they will just outright start to talk about it. Instead, they will ask a question. Such as, “Have you guys heard about the rumors that I want to raise taxes?”, and then they’ll proceed to talk about whatever they want to talk about—raising taxes or not raising taxes. We can do the same thing. For example, if I start a conversation with a girl and I want to talk about my niece, I might say something like, “Do you have nieces or nephews yet?” And the girl might say yes or no, it doesn’t really matter. The whole point of a set up question is that all I'm trying to do is introduce the topic. I'm not really that concerned with what her answer is. If she has nieces, or if she doesn’t have nieces, I'm going to talk about the same things. The only problem with a set up question as transition is that you have to know what you want to talk about. That’s why, in the last section, I talked about making those lists of topics of things you like talking about, topics you think women are interested in.

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It's really important you have those topics because otherwise you don’t have anything to ask as a set up question. So if you don’t have anything to talk about, then asking a set up question isn't going to help you, and you're just going to basically fall into the “asking questions” trap that a lot of guys get into, such as, “Where are you from? What do you do? Where do you go to college? Cool—do you want to hang out some time?” We don’t want to do that. Asking a set up question is a specific tactic; it's done to get to a subject. If I'm talking to a girl about something I want to buy for my niece, let's say I'm in a store shopping, and I want to get off the subject of talking about buying something for my niece, which may or may not be true, I can ask a question like, “Do you ever do karaoke?”. Then I can tell a story about karaoke, or I can talk about karaoke. You don’t have to be super logical with your set up question, but you do need to give an excuse. The same way that we need to give an excuse when we move a girl, we need an excuse for just asking a set up question. If I ask a random question like, “Do you ever do karaoke?” I might say, “You look like a singer, that’s why I asked .” You just want to have “The reason I asked is...” when you're asking a set up question, in case it is out of the blue, or weird, or random; you want to just have, “The reason I asked is” ready, and usually you can just make a compliment there. That’s the best thing to do, because then people will be happy that you're complimenting them.

USE A PHRASAL T RANSITION The second way to transition is by using a phrasal transition. A phrasal transition is simply a phrase that connects two otherwise unconnected subjects. Some examples of phrasal transitions are, “That’s just like when...”, “That reminds me of...”, “Check this out, I have to tell you about the time...”, “Oh, my God, that reminds me...”, etc. When you're using a phrasal transition, the key is to just say it. You don’t need to actually look for two subjects that are actually reminded of each other. No one is ever going to be like, “Wait, we were just talking about ps ychology and you said that reminded you of traveling through Europe, how are those two in common?” Phrasal transitions are great because they are so simple, because they instantly shift the subject. I could be talking to a girl about psychology and I could say, “Oh, my God, you know, that’s really interesting that you're studying psychology at UCLA, that reminds me of when I was traveling through Europe, I met a psych major who was really interesting because she was actually

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traveling around doing case studies on different people...” —I'm just making stuff up right now—but you see how easy it is. If we are talking about fashion, the girl might be a model, and she's telling me how she moved to L.A., and I'm going to be like, “That reminds me—my exgirlfriend she moved to New York to do runway fashion and when we got there, it was such a culture shock because people are really different in New York than L.A., and now I think I'm almost too New York for L.A.” Again, now I'm on the subject of New York and L.A., and how people are different, which is one of my favorite subjects in the entire world to talk about. Phrasal transitions are really easy. Because of this, people sometimes want to make things more difficult for themselves by not using them. “That reminds me of”, “That’s just like when”, “Check this out, I have to tell you about”, “Oh, my God”—use phrasal transitions, they're very, very effective and super easy. You don’t need to make things harder than they actually have to be.

MAKE AN OBSERVATION The third way to transition is by making an observation. Learning to make observations is one of the most powerful skills for social comfort, attraction, social skills, whatever you want to call it. Being observant is a very powerful, powerful skill to develop, and it's something that everyone reading this should make an effort at to become a more observant person. And the way you become a more observant person is that you start blurting out the thoughts you have in your head. You stop filtering things as much and thinking like, “Oh, I don’t want to say that because it's weird”, or “People might not be into this” —stop that. Now observations as transitions can be real or they can be routines. So, for example, I might be talking to a girl and if she's really tall, I might say, “You're really tall”, and then I have a routine that I got from Mystery about tall mothers. Or, I might see a tall girl, but she's also really tanned, and I may be talking to her, and I might be like, “You're really tanned, did you just get back from the beach or something?” So they can be real or they can be faked. In general, we want to develop the skill of being observant. What does the girl's clothing say about her? Is she dressed in a business suit? Is she dressed glamorously, is she dressed sluttish, is she dressed like a hippie, is she dressed like a punk rocker? Learn to start looking for things beyond “she's hot, I want to talk to her”, which I think is the level of thought that a lot of guys put in. So start looking for clothing, energy, attitude, hair, jewelry and environment.

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In general, when you're making observations, they're going to be about one of three things. They are either going to be about the environment, about the girl, or about the people in the environment. So when worst comes to worst, you can always make comments about other people around, by making observation, to keep a conversation going. So again, transitioning is the most important skill of social comfort. You must be able to transition between multiple subjects. You must be aware when subjects are getting tired. When you're starting to be less enthusiastic about certain subjects, it's time to start transitioning. It's almost always better to transition and get to a new subject earlier, than it is later, in my experience.

LEARNING HOW TO USE QUESTIONS Now let's talk about using questions. But before I talk about using questions, I want to talk about how questions are viewed in the pickup community. They're viewed as the kiss of death, and there is a very good reason behind that. Almost every pick up company out there basically makes fun of average guys, and says that this is how average guys try to pick up girls, “Hey, what's your name? Where are you from? Do you have a boyfriend? What do you do for fun? Where did you go to college? Where do you hang out? Do you want to go to dinner?” And there is something to that, but there is actually a deeper, rooted psychological reason why question-based pickups don’t work, and it has nothing to do with the fact that they're lame, or the fact that everyone is doing it, or the fact that they are all the same. It has to do with something called the law of reciprocity. The law of reciprocity basically states that because humans are not well equipped to survive in the world, meaning that we don’t have claws, or fangs, or anything like that, we had to become social animals. We had to bond together in order to build cities, in order to be safe from saber tooth tigers, etc. What happened was, human beings have psychologically become programmed with something called the law of reciprocity, which basically states that if you do something for someone first — if you give someone some information, if you give someone a gift, if buy someone a drink— they are going to be more likely to give something back to you. And the reason is—it's pretty simple. If someone does something for us, that is a good sign that they have our best interest at heart, which is going to make us more inclined to do stuff for them. If someone just tries to take, and take, and

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take, then we don’t like that. So because of this, we can actually explain why question-based pickups don’t work based on sound psychological theory. So when you approach a girl, it's a cold approach. She doesn’t know anything about you, you don’t know anything about her and you just try to get her to give you information—“What's your name? Oh, I'm Jon.” But you're giving her information secondly; you are reciprocating as opposed to her going first. “Where are you from? What do you do? Where did you go to college?” She is being asked to contribute first in the hopes that she'll get something back, as opposed to the law of reciprocity which states that if we want information or a gift from someone, we have to give something to them first. Question-based pick up violates the law of reciprocity by asking the girl to give us information without us giving her that information first. So, based on that, we can learn that the best way to ask questions is by asking them after we already give the girl the information. For example, if you're going to introduce yourself, it's much better to say, “Hey, I'm Jon, what's your name?”, than it is to say, “What's your name? I'm Jon”, and then wait for her to introduce herself. It's much better if I want to ask a girl the question about what’s the most adventurous thing she's ever done, it's better for me to talk about something adventurous. I've gone first, so that she feels that she's getting the law of reciprocity happening. I’ve told her about an adventurous story, now she's going to feel more inclined to tell me about an adventurous story. That’s the reason that question-based pickups don’t work, they violate the law of reciprocity. If we can cling to the idea or reciprocity and give information about ourselves before we ask a question, we will have a much better response to our socializing. In general, there is nothing wrong with questions, you just have to make sure that you've given information before you ask your questions. Think of asking a question as a request for something. So if you haven't given any value, any information, to the girl first, she will be less inclined to answer. Even if she does, she's going to start to lose interest because you are violating this very basic psychological rule. If you are going to ask questions, you will want to use them in a specific way, and in social comfort there are three general purposes we want to use a question for. We talked about the first one, to set up a story or topic of conversation as a transition. “Hey, have you guys ever been to the Hollywood sign”, “Oh, check this out.” “What's your favor ite movie?” “Oh, my favorite movie I saw yesterday was...” Another reason to ask a question is to tease.

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Sometimes when I blank out and I'm trying to meld social comfort, I will just ask a social question like, “Where are you from? Where do you go to college?” And then I will tease the girl on her answer? So if I'm out in Hollywood and I say, “Where are you from?” And the girl says, “I'm from Orange County ”, and I think: “mental note, do not date this girl, Orange County girls are trouble.” Or if I'm out during the daytime and I meet a girl and she says she's from the Valley, I might think: “Oh, Valley people are bad news .” Or if she says she's a tourist, she's from England, I might think: “English girls are bad news.” But I'm asking a question specifically to tease here, specifically to break that social comfort and to start the attraction-building process. I'm not just going to ask a question to get information. I'm never going to be like, “Where are you from—oh, cool.” Another way is to relate and build commonalities; that’s kind of the opposite side of the coin. If I feel like this girl doesn’t need to be teased, but I do need to relate to her and build commonalities, I might say, “Where are you from?” and she may say, “Oh, Colorado.” And I would say, “Oh, you know I go out to Colorado once a year for snowboarding, I stay in Breckenridge. I love the people out there, they're really nice.” Building commonality, showing her we have things in common, likeness. That’s a likeness tactic; likeness kind of blends through all the stuff. Teasing is an attraction tactic, that’s why I don’t teach a linear method, because all these things blend together and that’s why you can do it all in 5 minutes, because you don’t have to go from step to step to step. Everything kind of blends and it's cyclical. Sometimes you are building social comfort, then it can hook and you're building attraction, then you are adding some likeness, then you go back to social comfort and then it all kind of goes around in a swirl, until you get some interest from the girl. So again, don’t be afraid of questions. Questions are a viable form of socializing. Just make sure you keep in mind the law of reciprocity, that you don’t just ask a question to ask a question. You do them for a specific purpose, usually to set up a story or topic of conversation to transition; to tease or to relate and build commonalities.

LEARN TO GROUND YOURSELF Alright, now we are going to talk about grounding yourself. The easiest way to talk about yourself is through what is called grounding. One of the things that everyone comes to realize - as they're practicing and approaching women - is that you need to talk about yourself. There are basically only three things you can talk about. You can talk about yourself, you can talk about the girl, and you can talk about the environment. Everything else is going to be somewhat related to you, to her or to where you

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are. So grounding is the way of talking about yourself that takes stories from your real life, and gives the girls information about you that they need to know. This is where we are going to show how our experiences and our life shaped our behavior , and how that’s going to affect our interaction with the girls. So for example, I might say, “Since I grew up with sisters, I've always been on the other side of the fence when it comes to understanding women, so that’s one of the reasons why I have so many fe male friends, and I'm not afraid of meeting girls.” On a cold approach, I'll always say this because it gives a context to my approach. If I'm approaching a girl in a grocery store and I'm being very confident or very comfortable around her, I want to explain that there is a reason for that, that I'm not just doing this to get laid; that there is a reason that I'm comfortable around women. Another thing I might say is, “You know, I wanted to be a writer when I grew up, and because of that, I have rea lly strong opinions, and I always express them, so I'll probably say something that will offend you in the next, like, 20 minutes, but it will be funny. ” Again, I want to explain my personality. We want to explain our personalities without making it seem like we are qualifying ourselves. Without making it seem like we are trying to impress the girl. Without making it seem like we are giving them all this information that they haven't asked for, and that’s why grounding is really important. Because it touches on key points from your past, it fills in the information. You have to remember that on a cold approach, girls don’t know anything about you. If you really wanted to, you could lie and create a whole fake persona, and tell women all this stuff about you that isn't true, and convince them to sleep with you. I did it for a couple years when I was working for Mystery Method, but you don’t have to. But what you do have to do is, you do have to create a context for who you are. You do have to explain to them why you are the way you are. So if you are a shy guy, that’s not something that you have to go against. You don’t have to become some party frat boy, but you do need to ground why you're shy. You might say, “You know, when I was growing up I was always really focused on studying and getting into a good school, and then gett ing into a real career, so it always takes me a little bit longer to open up and be re ally social with people, but once I do, my friends will tell you I'm crazy .”, or “my friends will tell you that I'm....” this, that or the other, but again, you want to explain your personality. You will want to ground yourself so that she understands who you are.

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Grounding comes from the idea of Mystery that you ground your identity. That you tell her how you became who you are and what you do, and usually that’s involved in some form of intricate lying about being a deejay or a model, a company owner, a magician, or whatever. But this is real. This is where we are taking it and applying it to our personality. If you're outgoing, if you're positive, if you're nice, if you're shy, if you're bold— whatever your personality is like, (and hopefully you have an idea of what you're like as a person, if not ask your friends), you will want to ground it and talk about yourself, and talk about who you are and what they can expect. One of the things about grounding is that it preps people for how to deal with you. Another thing I'll say sometimes, and this is not in the first five minutes, but I'll say something like, “I'm totally the type of guy who will hit on you in a grocery store.” So don’t flirt, because again, I'm grounding myself. “I'm the type of guy who...” — that's what grounding is about. It's about explaining the type of person you are in a way that’s interesting and that fills in the background. “I grew up with sisters.” “I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. ” “When I was younger I went to this kind of school.” Ground yourself so that they know what they're dealing with, that’s the part of grounding that’s really, really important. And grounding yourself is valuable in attraction as well as comfort, because this is really the best way to talk about yourself, is to give historical context from your life that explains who you are.

ENTHUSIASM Enthusiasm is contagious, as Mystery used to say. You have to be excited or interested in what you're saying. If you're not excited or interested in what you're saying, there is no reason for the girl to be. If what you have to say doesn’t sound interesting and exciting and like you are really into it, then it's going to fall flat. You have to be enthusiastic, you have to be animated. You have to be positive. You have to be really, really psyched about what you're saying. Making sure that you really get into what you're saying is a part of delivery. If you mess up all the rest of your delivery— you're not loud enough, you mumble your words, you speak too quickly— if you're enthusiastic, that will cover up a lot of it. People will generally judge you based on the non-verbal. If you're talking about something and you seem super excited about it, you're passionate about it, you're getting really into it, people are going to respond to that, whether or not they agree with you, and whether or not they think you're cool.

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They are going to think, “If this guy is really into this, it must be somewhat cool.” Being blaze, or bland, or a deadpan, or quiet and serious, just does not work. You have to be enthusiastic; you have to get into what you're doing.

MAINTAINING CONVERSATION RATIO And the last social comfort skill is maintaining a proper conversation ratio. The real key here is to understand that you approached her. She didn’t walk up to you. If a girl walks up to you and starts talking, the burden of keeping the conversation is on her. But you approached this girl, so the burden of keeping the conversation going and keeping it fun and interesting is on you, not on her. Another reason we don’t want to ask too many questions is th at we don’t want to try to make the girl work too hard to have a conversation. In the beginning, I'm expected to do around 75 percent of the talking in the interaction. Now I hate giving numbers and percentages because there is no 100 percent thing, but in general, in the beginning, you need to convince her that you are cool. You need to convince her that you are interesting. You need to convince her that you are someone who she should talk to, and someone who she should be interested in talking to. So in the beginning, expect to do about 75 percent of the talking—no less than 50 percent. I would say you never really, in the first five minutes, will she be doing 51 percent of talking. Later on in the interaction, if you can get the girl to talk more, that’s really helpful because that will actually move things forward much quicker, but in the beginning, don’t rely on asking her questions to get information. You can ask her questions to set things up, to tease, to transition, but don’t rely on asking her questions to keep the conversation going. Don’t rely on her giving you information or asking you things, or volunteering information on her own—that’s your responsibility. When you make the decision to approach a girl, you're making the decision to keep the conversation going and to keep it fun and interesting. Awkward silences are a killer. You have t o fill all awkward silences. In the first 3 to 5 minutes, she doesn’t care enough about you to keep going through awkwardness. Awkwardness is going to end the interaction. In fact, I would say one of the biggest problems most guys have is that they let awkward silences happen in the first minute or so. They run their opener and then it's like, “Oh, check this out”. That’s enough right there, that little couple seconds of silence, can ruin an iteration.

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So hopefully all of you read the section on never running out of things to stay, that stuff is killer for filling those awkward silences. Make sure that doesn’t happen, because they are game killers. The two things we know definitively do not work when it comes to meeting women are: not talking—starting conversation and then shutting up, and leaving the interaction. So anything other than not talking or leaving the interaction is probably okay. Alright, so you’ve started a c onversation, you’ve used questions correctly, you've transitioned, you’ve grounded yourself, you're enthusiastic and you have a proper conversational ratio. The girl has now hooked onto the conversation; she would rather talk to you than have you leave.

TEASING Once you've established social comfort, it's time to break that comfort, usually by teasing. Remember that as soon as you can tell the conversation is hooked, it's time to tease. And the reason behind this is two-fold. One, we want to get her attention— when you’ve built social comfort with a girl, when she's interested in talking to you, she thinks you are at least non-threatening, friendly, etc.— although she may not necessarily be attracted. She may just be interested in talking to you. She may just find this conversation interesting. So what we want to do then is, if we want to break that social comfort, we want to now give her something that makes her a little uncomfortable. Mess with her a little bit, tease her, break the rapport, disqualify—or whatever you want to call it, there are a million different names for it, but we want to basically show her, “Hey, we are not totally into you yet ,” and what that’s going to do is it's going to get her attention. She's not going to start paying attention when I start to use attraction tactics, and that’s what we want. We want to heighten her attention and her interest right at the exact same time that we are going to start demonstrating our attractive qualities using attraction material. One thing to keep in mind with teasing is that teasing is emotional, not logical. One of the most common questions I get from guys is, “Why would I tease?” Or, “What if the girl doesn’t do anything that I can tease her for?” You don’t need a reason to tease. Teasing is an emotional communication; it's not a logical one. No girl is going to sit there and say, “Wait, but you approached me and now you're telling me we are not going to get along—like: why are you doing that?” Or think why am I such a brat, or this, that or the other. Instead, they're just going to laugh and giggle if it's done right, and think you're an asshole if it's done wrong. So don’t look for logical transitions, you 16


Secrets of 5-Minute Chemistry Part 3.pdf

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