Roy Keane

RoyKeane-Autobiography TeresatoldmeonthephonethatIwas"disgracedstarRoyKeaneWorldCup."Iwasbanishedfromtheworldchampionship backhome.IstoodattheairportintheKoreancityofSaipan.Journalistsandphotographersswarmedaroundme.Isaid nothing.Iwascalm.Thereisnoshameinthattellingthetruth.Itwasdifficult-probablywhyIthinkthepeopleandkepttheir mouthsshut.Ihavelongkepttheirmouthsshut.Well,relativelylong,ofcourse. IknewthatIwasalreadyinLondonawaitingreporters.Itwillbetomorrow.Ontheonehand,Iwascalm,butthenagain,I wasburning.I'vebeenpreparingforthisWorldCup.Allmatchesqualifyingcampaign,Iwentoutofhiswaytogettothefinal part.NowthatIamalmostthirty-one,Iknewit,seemstobemylastattemptattheworldchampionships.Iknewthatlevelof organizationintheIrishteamwasfarfromideal,everybodyknewit.ButevenbyIrishnotionsofwhathappenedinthelast week,itwashardtobelieve.Undertheguiseofpeaceinmyheart,simmeringrageandpain. IwasangryaboutlackofprofessionalismthatprevailsinthecampofTeamIreland,thelackofambition,servingofnumbers andtheratioofthetournament,gettingtothatshouldbethegoalofeachplayer.We-theIrisharedoingeverythingtheir ownway.Thisisourambition.Theworldlovesus,wetoldourselves.Butnotifwewerelikecabaretartistsinvitedtothe party?Whenthematchisbecomingaseriousnastoyaschmu,weusuallywenttotheside.Wenthometocelebrateanother partyafteravictory,weareusuallyachieved,andwatchtheendofthechampionshiponTV.Excellent.Buttodothatifwe gaveallthepowerinthequalifyinggroup,chasedoutofthetournamenttheDutchteam,completedthecampaignwithouta singledefeatafterthePortuguesenationalteam?No,it'snotforme.Iwasaplayer,"ManchesterUnited".Wecelebrateda victory. Iwashurt.ForTeresa,formyfamilyinCork.Ispent 30000euro,givingmybrothersDennis,JohnsonandPatalongwithhiscousinJohnLynch'sdream-atriptotheWorldCup. Nowtheywillnotgothere.I'mspoiledthem.Likemymomanddad.Icalledthem.Theysatdownathome,notlookingup fromthescreen,watchingSkyTelevision,listeningtotheradio,readingnewspapersontheirdisgracedson.Icouldhandleit. Forthemitwastorture. FinallyI'montheplane.Thanksto"ManchesterUnited"!IcalledAnnWileyattheclub.Sheorderedtheplanetickets.Toget ridoftheannoyingcrowdofjournalists,sheboughtmeaticketviaGuam,andnotthroughTokyo.Guam,HongKong, London,Manchester.Teresa,mychildren,Shannon,Carafa,AidanandLee.AndTriggs,mydog.Andtherest. WhenwearrivedinHongKong,someonewaswaitingformeoutoftheairlineBritishAirways.AnnWileylearnedofaflight delay,andorderedmeticketstothenextplanetoLondon.Firstclass.Bed.Iamreadytodepartforthenight.Iwillnever forgettheBritishAirways.Theywerejustsuperfortheentireflight.Icouldnotsleep.Thoughtfranticallyrushingtomyhead. IwatchedamoviewithDenzelWashingtonin"trainingday".So-so.Twoflightattendantswerepleasanttocommunicatewith me."Wesupportyouonehundredpercent"-theysaid.Theywerepreparingbreakfast.Iwenttothekitchentochatwith them.ThereissomethingwaitingformeinLondon? WhenIgotofftheplane,IwaitedforthecarfromBritishAirways,whichwastotakemetotheotherterminaloftheairporton aplanetoManchester.WhenIsatinthecarwithmyluggage,passedbytheporter.Iwasexpectingfromhimsometaunt. Thoughthewassomefanof"Arsenal"or"Spurs"."Fine,Cinema!-Hesmiled.-Keepyourpeckerup!".Thislittleremark gavemeahugesupplyofenergy.Ithankhimforfairplay.Sure,hehaschargedmeforthenextseason! IquietlyhadaroomforitemsinMidland.IncameMichaelKennedy,myagent.HesaidhewouldflytoManchesterwithme. "No,thisisnotnecessary"-Ipersisted.HesaidthatfromtheInternettomeispouringstreamofmud.Aboutmypersonallife. What! MywifeTeresawasalwaysnazvanivaetawoman.Icalledhome."Donotworry-Teresasaid-justcome." Michaelsaidthatthepressshowstomypersonallifeagreatinterest.I'llhavetomakeastatement.ItoldhimIwantedtogo home.  AtManchesterAirportwaitingformycar,"United".FiveminuteslaterIwasathis.Thehousewasundersiege.Journalists, TVcarswithplates.Ithoughttomyselfdamn!It'sthat-thearrivalofBillClinton? Teresatoldmethathecouldnotleavethehouse. "Adogisnotalreadywalkingtheirtwodays." Iwaitedforanhour,playingwithchildren,andthentookTriggs.Ihavenothingtobeashamedof.Mylifemustloginagainto normal. "Come,mygirl.Wegoforawalk." I IwasbornonAugust10,1971,becomingthefourthchildinafamilyoffive,inMayfield,anorthernsuburbofCorkcity.Later, mymomanddad,myolderbrothersandDenisJohnson,I,myoldersister,Hilary(myyoungerbrotherPatwasbornlater) movedinLotemorParkinMayfield.Mymother,Marie(neeLynch)wasfromafamoussportingfamily. Myfatherworkedforatimeatalocalknitwearfactory"SunbeamWolsey,"butitsoonwentbankrupt.Then,whenitwashard tofindajob,mydad,likemanyothermen,wastakenasanycraft,whichonlyturnedup,includingsecondjobsatcompanies "Guinness"and"Pfizer"-thetwolargestemployersinCork.Intheseventiesandeighties,whenaglobalfinancialcrisisafter another,theIrisheconomywasgoingthroughdifficulttimes.Corkalsosufferedmorethanothers.

Growingup,Irealizedthatthemoneyhadalwayslacked:forexample,wehadnocar.Buttobehonest,Ineverandnotwant foranything.MymotherisMarieandmyfatherwerecaring,lovingparents.Myolderbrothersandsisterwerebroughtupto me.PerhapsduetothefactthatIwastheyoungestinthefamily(Patwasbornyet),Iwasspoiled. IwenttoalocalprimaryschoolofSt.John.Inclass,Icertainlydidnotshine.IwasquietandhappythatIdidnotnotice.For meandmyfriendscomefirstinmylifewassports,noteducation.Lifebeganonlywiththecall,announcingtheendofthe schoolday. Corksportstraditionshavedeeprootsandarediverse.Inourhouse,alwaysveneratedBritishfootball.Otherspreferredto Gaelicfootballandhurling.Sportisoftenacauseofdeepdivision.GaelicgameswereregardedastrulyIrish,andimplied thatothergamessuchasfootballandrugby,assuchcouldneverbe.Foreigngames,especiallyidentifiedwithBritain,were notheldinhighesteem.Ofcourse,JackCharltonwillsoonchangethesituation. OurfamilyhasbeenanavidfanofBritishfootball.Myfatherwasateamregularinthe"Crofton"and"NorthEnd"-twolocal youthclubs.Thefatherofmymotherandhertwounclesweretheownersofgoldmedalsinjuniorchampionshipsunderthe auspicesoftheFootballFederationofIreland.Hertwobrothers-MikeandPatLynchplayedforthe"Rockmount"-oneof theoldestandmostfamousjuniorclubinCork.Someandmybrotherswasasinnottoplay.Oneofthewell-knownjokein myfamilyhavebeentalkingaboutwhatgreatplayershavebeenmydadanduncle.Meandmybrothersalwaysmadefunof it,becauseitseemedthat"if"everyplayerhasbeengreat. LikemostpeopleinCork,Iamproudofmyoriginsandroots.OnthequestionoftheiroriginpeopleinCorkinvariably respond:"TheBornIrishman,aresidentofCorkbythegraceofGod." Laughter-that'swhatIoftenequatemyhouseandthecity.Laughterintimesofjoyandsorrow.Realorsimulated.Laughter foranyreason,overeveryidiotwhoarenotfortunateenoughtobeborninthebreakawayCounty(theso-calledCounty Cork.-VS).Megalomania-afeatureofanysensiblecitizenofCork.Andasaresident-evenmoreso. Beforeyoufinallychoosefootball,Ihavetriedtheirhandathurlingandboxing.TheolderteamofCork'shockeyrepeatedly becamethewinnerVseirlandskihgames,andplayerssuchasJackLynchandChristyRing,regardedasfolkheroesnoless thanStanleyMatthewsandTomFinneyinEngland.Mycareerinhockeyendedbadly.Inaperfectlyharmlesssituation,the endofmystickbroke,andstuckachipinhisleg,resultingininjuryhadtohealagoodsixmonths. IwenttoworkoutataboxingclubbyBrianDillonatDillon'sCross.IspentallfourfightsintheIrishleaguenewcomersandin allcasesemergedvictorious.BythetimeIcouldbox,Iwasthemostpreparedphysicallyboxer.Andthemosteagertofight. ButIhadaproblemsinceI'veplayedregularlyforthe"Rockmount".Myboxingcoachsetmedowninfrontofastarkchoice: eitherfootballorboxing.So,theboxwasforgotten. However,hewasinstrumentalinmybecominganathlete.Jumpingandboxingtechniqueshavemademeverymobileand agile.Inaddition,Igainedsomeconfidencewhenfacedwithaggressivemedia.Istillwasshortofstatureformyage,but boxingtechniqueofwarfareandaccustomedtodiscipline,gavemeapsychologicaladvantage:Icouldstandupforhimself, despitehisshortstatureandshyness. WhenIhadtochoosebetweenfootballandboxing,Ineverdoubtedforasecond,whatwouldbemyanswer.Therewasno doubtthatI'llbeplayingat"Rockmount"insteadoftheclubmydistrict,"Mayfield",wheretheyplayedallmyschoolfriends. ThefactthatmybrotherDennis,andJohnsonplayedforthe"Rockmount,"wasonereasonforchoosingthisclub.Butthe realexplanationforthiswasthefactthat"Rockmount"wasontherise.IcametotheclubwhenIwaseightandisaboutto behitnine,buteventhenIstruggledtovictories.Sincethe"Rockmount"thunderedacrossthedistrict,hecametothebest playersofallsuburbsofCork.Togettotheclub,Ihadtoovercomeadistanceofsevenmiles.Mymotheralwayseasilygave memoneyforthebus.AndifIneededshoes,shegotoutofifbymagic.Perhapstheywerenotthebestbrand,butmore thanadequateforme. IlikedtowearaT-shirtandthesefootballboots.Playonfieldswiththis(althoughrough)whitemarkings,gates,andnets. Everythingwasforreal.Ievenlovedthejudgesforwhattheyareallowedtodisputethatintheordinaryofourgamesin Mayfieldledtobedlamandrecriminations.Thearrivalof"Rockmount"wasahugestepinmyboy'slife.Afterall,Ibecamea footballer. IntenyearsIplayedfortheteam,madeupofplayersnoolderthan11years.I'mmuchinferiorinheightandweight,butI couldgiveothersaheadstartinwhatconcernedtherelationshiptothegame.Igaveallmystrength.Icouldrunaway,just givein,Icouldtaketheball.Andit'strue:afteramarathongame,whichweareaccustomedtoMayfieldinthefieldsnotthe bestquality,thirty-fiveminutesofeachhalfofthematchfortheteamto11yearsseemedacakewalk.  AllinMayfieldrootingforEnglishclubs.Myclubhadbeen"Spurs"("TottenhamHotspur."-VS).Why?Becausemostofmy friendswererootingfordamn"ManchesterUnited","Liverpool"and"Arsenal",whichwonthedoubleintheyearofmybirth. GlennHoddlewasmyfavoriteplayer.Inoneofthehappiestdaysofmychildhood,Iwatchedontelevisionas"theSpurs'win atthe"ManchesterCity"inthecentenaryyear,theFACupfinal.ThewinninggoalRicardoVilla,whichhescored,passedin theslalomwithaballpastthedefenders,becameamagnificentdenouementfascinatinggame.  AlthoughIlikedtoimitatethebrilliantplayerssuchasRickyVillaandGlennHoddle,mygamewasnotliketheirstyle.Iwas moreaworkhorsethanaoutstandingpersonality.Istruggledforgoals,foughtforeveryball,whenwelosthim.Ingeneral,I wasveryactiveinthefield.IlistenedtotheadviceofourcoachesTimmyMurphyandJennaO'Sullivan,especiallywhen theytalkedaboutrespectforthegame.Theirprinciplewassimple,butitwastrue:gooutonafieldwithnoattitude-no matterwhatskillyoupossess,youjustlose.Ibelievedthem.Istillbelievethem.  Attheendofmyfirstseasonof"Rockmount"Iwasnamedplayeroftheyear.IwasincrediblyproudthatIwasableto continuethefamilytraditionofKinattheclubthatusedtoplaymybrothersanduncles. Inthesecondseasonofmystayattheclub,wewonthechampionshipforelevenyearsandtooktheCup.Bythetime "Rockmount"signedacontractwithPaulMcCarthy,AlanO'Sallivanom,DamienMartinandLenDownie(theylaterplayed forvariousteamsofIreland).TheywerethebackboneoftheteamthatwontheCupandleaguetitlesixyearsinarow. CompetitionintheschoolfootballinCorkwasisamazing,andweremainedunbeateninfiveseasons. WhenIwastwelve,Imovedtothe"PublicSchoolMayfield."Mybrother,JohnsonhasalreadymadeitfamousnameKeane. Teacher:"Name?"

Me:"Keane.RoyKeane." Teacher:"Johnson'syourbrother?" "Yes." "Aha!"Andthathissmirkdidnotrequirefurtherexplanation.Ilayontheprintorderforsomeoneinparticularshouldbe closelymonitored. Myindifferencetoschooldidnotremainwithoutconsequences.AtfifteenIneededtopassthe"midtermexam."IfIhad failures,thentheschoolwillbefinished.Inthiscase,Iwouldhavehadtoliveonthegraftorunemploymentbenefits.IfIpass my"Interim,"thenIwouldbeallowedtotakeinthefuture,"FinalExam,"whichopenedthewaytodecentwork,asenseof socialsecurityandalltheattendantbenefits.But-hereagainitisworthrecallingdebaclesintheeconomy-nosurrender "intermediate"ordelivery"Final"testsdonotguaranteeagoodincomeinafewyears.Butthisfactdoesnotexcusemy neglecttheirstudies. IwasmoreinthebeliefthatIwouldbeaprofessionalfootballplayerthanwhatIcancopewiththe"intermediate". MostyoungplayersdreamofnurturingaprofessionalcareerinEngland.Toachievethis,onlyasuccessfulgameinCork wasnotenough.ThefirststepistogetintotheEnglishclubwaselectedtotheIrishteamforplayersunder15years-aprize thatseemedtohavebeeninthepocketofpupilsinDublin.Butthesuccessof"Rockmount,"hecouldnotgounnoticed.I,  Alan,Len,PaulandDamienhavebeeninvitedtoviewthelocalandthenationalteamforplayersunder14yearsold. Unfortunately,Ifailedtoreachagoal.PeoplesaidIwastoosmall.Somepeopledonotlikemycharacter.TheironyisthatI wasjust"character"andtemperamentjustbecauseIwastoosmall.Whenitwasnecessarytojointhefightfortheball,Idid notdepart.SinceIwasshortofstature,Isetagoalasearlyaspossibletolearnhowtopicktheballwellineachgame.I earnedareputationthatwastomyliking-"nottobetrifledwith."Suchareputationwasgoodforme.Ithasprovidedme tremendoussupport.Thentherewerethosewhohopedtowinafightwithme,butastimepassed,thosewerelessandless. Ifailedmy'midtermexam."Itwaspainful.Andthoughonecouldhardlyexpecttheother,IfeltthatIledmyselfandthe parents.Maybeitwasnottheendoftheworld,but,ofcourse,thisfacthasputaquestionmarkovermyfuture.Time,energy andimaginationthatIhadtosendinlessonsandhomework,wereinsteadinvestedmanyhoursplayingfootball.Today's childrenaremoresmyshleny,oratleastshouldbeso.Educationandcareerfootballarenotmutuallyexclusive. Theappearanceofateamof15yearswasanimportanteventfortheyoungfootballer.IfyouareinvolvedintheIrishteam, youautomaticallyappearsasthoughthewindowofwhichwasstudiedScoutsofEnglishclubs.Itwasacrucialseason.The emergenceoftheIrishteamwasmoreimportantthandelivery,"Intermediateexam."InthelastseasonIplayedforCork Countyfora14-year-old,whowontheNationalCup,playedbetweencounties.Theprospectofenteringthenationalteam lookedquitereal,andifyouraccountwillbeamatchfortheteam,thenyouhaveagoodchancetobeinvitedtowatchthe Englishclub. OnedayafterschoolIcamehomeatnightandsawthesmilingfatherholdinghandsinalocalnewspaper"EveningEcho", "Yougot,boy,you'regoingtoshowinDublin."  Attheviewing,Ihaveshownagoodgame.WhenIwasreplacedinaboutfifteenminutesbeforetheendofthematch,I thoughtthishappenedonlybecausethosewhotookawaytheteamsawenoughtoconfirmmyneed.ReturningtoCork,Iam impatientlywaitingfornewsoftheinvitationtothefinalshow.Whentheyarrived,itturnedouttobebadforme.Thelistsof thosewhohavebeencalledonhim,R.Keanewasnot,asItriedtofindit.Iwaskilled.Itwasthebiggestdisappointmentof mylife.Thedoorslammedinmydreamintheface. Mymotherwasveryconcernedaboutlookingatwhatishappeninginmylife.ForsometimeIlostmyinherentboldness.I havereceivedanotherblowwhenPaulcontactedmeandsaidthatheknockedmeforaviewingof"Brighton".Ihadtogoto Dublinbytrain,thengetonaplaneflighttoLondon,andthenagainbytraintogettoBrighton.Intheeveningthedaybefore myscheduleddeparturePaulcalledmeandsaidthatprosmorcanceled.AfterreviewingtherecommendationofPaul,the representativesof"Brighton"abandonedtheidea.TheyhadheardthatIwastooshortofstature,tobecomeaprofessional footballer. Thewholebroken,Isankintoahalf-life,spendinglongdaysofaimless.Igetoutofbedanhourtogetthefirstjoyofthe comingday-toseetheseries"Neighbours",whichstartedat13.30.AfterthatIwentforawalkwithmydogBen-ablack mongrel,replacinghimLucky,anothermongrel,namedsobecauseshewasastraydog,whichwasluckytostumbleonRoy Keane.Ilovedhisdogs,reallylovedthem(andtothisday).Unlikehumansdogsdonottalkanynonsense.Theywillnot betrayyou,oryouwillspoilthemood.Inresponsetowhatyougive,yougetthesameamountorevenmore.Ben,likeLucky andotherdogs,whichIwoundup,wasadevotedandlovingdog.Andfunny,too.Theyallhadtheirown,uniquecharacter. Forme,theirmostmagicalfeaturewasthefactthattheydonotcarewhoyouare-thecaptainof"ManchesterUnited"orthe unemployed.WalkingwithBenwasthebestmomentofmyday.Istilllovedfootballandplayedandtrainedwiththesame enthusiasm,despitethefeelingthatImissedmychance,whichmaybethelast. Ididnotreceiveunemploymentbenefitsforonesimplereason:Iwaseighteen.Moneywasaproblem.Mymotherandfather didnothaveenoughmoneythen,butIhaveneverneededtoreallyanything.Thebrothersalsosometimes"subsidized"me fromtimetotime.Iwastakenforanyphysicalwork,wheretheywas.Theeasiestwastobar"TheGelvin"inBlackpool.As someoneoncewrotethatIhadcometheretobuildupmuscles,carryingbarrelsofbeerfromawarehouseintoabar.The truthisthatIchosethisjobbecauseofmoney-3.5poundsperhour-andspenthistimequietlystealingthechocolateand fillingthemyourselfmouth.Iworkedthereforthreeweeks. ThemostcrappyjobforwhichItookwasonehardheadwhohiredus,sowescrapedofftherustfrommetalsheets.Wewere giventhisbyablowtorchwithoutanyclothes!Itwasdangerouswork,butwell-paid-50poundsaweek.Istayedtherefor threemonths.Theninthespringwenttocollectthepotatoes,cyclingforfifteenmilesroundtrip.Itwasakiller,ahellofajob, alegacyfromwhichIgotabadback,whichtothisday,Iwasworried. Perhapsnoticingmyfrustrationandconcernoverthefutureoffootball,TimmyMurphy,JenandJohnO'SullivanDelhi,which isnowcoachedbyourteam,"Rockmount,"advisedmetowritelettersaskingaboutwatchingtheEnglishclub.Ididit,and theanswersspeakforthemselves.

"Wefearthatwehavenovacanciesatpresent,butwewouldliketothankyouforyourinterestinusandwouldliketowish youeverysuccessinthefuture."("Derby"). "Ithankyouforyourletter,butregretthatwecannothelpyou.Currently,wehavefilledalltheregularplacesfortheplayers, andwewillnotdisplayinthenearfuture."("SheffieldWednesday"). "Unfortunately,Icannotfulfillyourrequestforaviewingof"AstonVilla",aswealreadyhavealltheplayersinyourposition." ("AstonVilla"). "I'mverysorry,butIhavetotellyouthataftertherecentrestructuringofourjuveniledivisionIsuggestbrowsingatthe beginningoftheseasononlytoboysyoungerthan15years.I'msorrytodisappointyou,but,likemostotherclubs,wehave alargenumberofscouts,whotakecareofgamesplayersofallages,andifyouhavethemakingsofaprofessional footballer,youhaveeverychanceofbeingnoticed."("Chelsea"). "I'msureyou'llunderstand-wegetliterallyhundredsofsuchletterseveryweek...Theusualpracticeisapositiveresponse tothelettersofplayerswhohavesomemerit,orwhohaveexcellentreferencesclosetofootballpeople.SoIregretthatIcan notofferyouaview."("NottinghamForest").Recallingthosedays,Iunderstandthatthemainreasonformyfailures,not eventakingintoaccountmyheight,didnotseehisexperiencedeyeScouts.Iwasageneralist,andconsideredhimselfa teamplayer.Icouldscoregoals,butwasbrightandvisiblefromtheoutside.AlthoughIwasabletocontrolthemiddleofthe field,Idonotoftengoonbreak,lookingaroundoneplayerafteranother,anddonotcutthedefenseonthepartofthelongPazthirty-fivemeters.Ireadthegame,interceptedthetransmissionspaceoverlapsrivaldidplainpasses.Iamcontinually workingonthepenaltytothepenalty,defendingandattacking.ForeverygreatgoalthatIscored,wehadhundredsofsmall operations-bothdefensiveandoffensive,whichwentunnoticedbystander.I'vebeenworkingeverysecondofthegameis determinedandtheabsoluteconcentration.Determinationhasbeenmyhallmark.Concentrationwasnotvisibletoothers. Tomakethisnoticewasneededverytrainedeye. Helpcame,asalways,whereitdidnotexpectit. In1989theIrishGovernmentinconjunctionwiththeFootballAssociation,thecountryhasopenedcoursesforyoungelite soccerplayers.Eachofthetwenty-fourNationalLeagueclubs(twelvefromeachdivision)couldsendintheircoursesof promisingyoungplayers.Ihavereadaboutandsawhischance.ItdidthesameandmyfriendLenDownie,whoisaboutto signacontractwith"CorkCity",ourlocalNationalLeagueclub.LenwasatypicalrepresentativeofCork.ButRoyKeane wasalsotheguydoesnotmiss,passedthroughtheschoolofthestreets.Representativesofthe"City"alsocametomewith aproposaltosignacontract,andIevensignedapreliminaryagreementFerris.Iknewthattheycouldsendonlyoneplayer inDublinoncoursesFAS.SowhenLentoldmethatthe"City"sendshiscourses,Iwasgreatlydisappointed. ThankGodEddieO'Rourkehascontactedmeonthesameday.EddieCarpentercombinedworkandcoachjuniorteam "RemblersCove,"theclubofthesecondnationaldivision.Heknewmeforseveralyearsandhaveseenmanyfightswith "Springfield",schoolclubCova,whowasatopcontender"Rockmount",constantlyoccupyingthesecondplaceinthose yearswhenwewonthedouble. "Iwouldnotwantyoutocometothe"CoveRemblers"Roy?"-Eddieasked. "Ihavealreadysignedacontractwiththe"City"-Ireplied. "When?" "Yesterday!" "Waitaminute.I'llcalltheassociationtofindoutwhetheryouclaimed." KnowI'dmuchdependedonthatcall,Iwouldhavediedinstantly. "CorkCity"anddidnotbothertosendtheassociationthedocumentthatIsigned.ItoldEddiethatIsignedacontractwith "Remblers"onlyiftheygivemeaplaceoncoursesFAS.Hegavehisconsent.Thedealwasmadeandthedocumentssent toDublinbyexpressmail. CovewasformerlyknownasKuinztaunandamongotherthings,thatwasthelastportofcallfortheliner"Titanic"beforehe wentdown,makinghisinfamousvoyageacrosstheAtlanticin1912.OverthenexteightmonthsIwastraininglikeaproand got30poundsperweek,pluscompensationfortravelexpensesandanadditional40poundsinprizemoney(10perwin,5 foradraw)whenenteredintothefirstteam,"Cova",whichwasalreadyinforseveralweeks. ThecoursetookplaceinPalmerstown,westDublinarea.Leavinghomewasexperiencedparticularlydifficulttome, althoughIdonotflyawaytothemoon.I'mstilllostwhendealingwithstrangers,andthereforethepresenceofLenDownie easedmyexistence. Intermsoftrainingandconstanttravelrateregimewassimplyinhumane.AfterSunday'sgamesforourlocalclubsLenandI wenttoDublinonthefirsttrainonMondaymorning.Wetrainedeverydayfromtentotwelveandfromtwotofour.Work moreintensiveandconsistedofaroutinesetofactivitiesaimedatimprovingeveryaspectofthegame.Morningwestartedto warmupandstretchmarks.Thenworkwiththeball,alternatinggamesinwhichwedividedintofourgroupsofsixandspent threematchesagainstthethreespecialgatesofsmallersizes.Weplayedonmyfeelings,notalifeordeath. MauricePricewasoneoftheleadersofourcourses.Inaddition,hewasamemberofthecoachingstaffJackieCharltonfirst teaminIreland,whichayearagocameinthefinaloftheEuropeanChampionshipsinGermany,butitsplayersandcoaches returnedhomeasnationalheroesafterdefeatingEngland1-0inStuttgart.Ofcourse,Iwantedtoimpressthecoach,who wassoclosetothecenterofourfootballuniverse. ThemoststrikingeventofthecoursebecamematcheswithvariousIrishyouthteamswhoperformedwithustraininggames inpreparationforinternationalmeetings.Thesematcheswerehorriblesight:we,theguysfromthecourseFAS,hadtoprove theirworthingameswithopponents,manyofwhomplayedfortheleadingEnglishclubs. Thedailyschedulewasjustexhausting,especiallyforusguysinthehinterland,whotrained,rodeandplayedfortheirclubs. Ienjoyedworkinghardintraining.MovingfromCorktoDublinIwasexhausted.Butinmypocketacoupleofpoundsvodilas earnedplayingfootball.Iwasaprofessionalplayer,althoughitwasatthefootofwhatseemedtobeasteephill.Again,it shouldbenotedthatunemploymentandallitsattendantunpleasantconsequenceswerethenanessentialfeatureofthe workingclassofIreland.AmongmyacquaintancesinMayfield,andeveninmyextendedfamily,adecentworkwasvalued highly.Imadeitintothefirstteam,"Remblers"andwasabletopocketabout£50aweek.

NationalSecondDivisionwashardforaschoolboyofseventeen.Mostoftheplayerswerefocusedonasemi-toughfight, whichevenintermsofskillandthoughthaveplayedatthislevel,whichIdidnotexpect.Respectfrombothteammatesand opponents,itwashardearned.Anygamewiththeballattheaudienceimmediatelypunished.Trytojustrelax-andthey immediatelyprizhmutyoutothewall.Opponentsdonottakeprisoners! Sixmonthsafterthestartofthecourseinthespringof1990,Ifeltnoticeablygainedasaplayer.FromthebeginningIseta goal-tobecomethebestplayerofcourse.Butthedailytrainingwiththebestyoungplayersof23countries,Irealizedone thing:someaptitudeforitwasnotenough.Tosucceed,youhadtohavethefortitudeandstrengthofthebody. PhysicaltrainingwasbyitselfwhenyouconsidertheamountofworkIwasdoing.Butthespiritwasallthedifferentandmore complicated.Noteveryonecanwithstandtheconstantcoldwintermorningworkoutonamuddyfieldunderapiercingeast windblownrecreationcenter.ButIknewthatifIcouldforcemyselftoovercomethepsychologicalbarriersthatfortheother becameaninsurmountableobstacle,thenIwillachieveanimportantvictory.Everyday,whentheworkiscomingtoanend, Ifelttherushofthismeet,locatedontheothersideofthebarriersthatyouovercame. Whilethefirstteam,"CoveRemblers"stuckinthemiddleofthestandings,ateamledbyjuniorEddieO`Rourketookone stepafteranotherintheCupforthecountry's18-year-olds.ItwastherethatIwasabletoapplythoseskillsandtheprogress I'vemade.Iaddedinthegrowthandstrength.IwasnolongertheRunt.Forseveralmonths,Igrewfromboytoman.I've alwayshadastrongwill,andnowIhadmoremuscleandtosupportit.Kamikazehasbecomeafootballplayer,whohad understandingofthegame,itsebbandflow.Controllingyouremotions,Icouldcontroltherhythmofthegame.Iwasnot GlennHoddle,andhewasnolongermyfavoriteplayer.WhileIwasstillafanofthe"Hotspur",becamearolemodelforme ofBryanRobson,"ManchesterUnited".Hisabilitytoplayintheselection,thewayhescoredgoals,andubiquitouspresence onthefieldinthe"ManchesterUnited"andEnglandwasproofthatyoucanbecomeagreatplayerwithoutevenhavingto stocktwoorthreespectaculartrickswiththeball.Robsonwasnotbright.Heinspiredrespect. MymaingoalthisseasonwashitintheRepublicofIrelandforplayersyoungerthan18years.Animportantfactorto accomplishthisgoal,itwasagoodperformanceintheCup.Whenwegottoplayalotwiththe"BelvedereBoys,"thebest teaminDublin,wedesperatelyembracedthenews.Thegoodnewsisthatwehaveservedasthehometeam,butIwas frustratedbyadraw-1:1,despitethefactthattheequalizer. Onthedayofthereplay,February18,1990,fromthebeginningeverythingwentwrong.Thebus,whichwassupposedto pickusupintheCove,toolate.Ontheroadsthereweremanytrafficjams.Mostoftheroadswehad,andkeptlooking nervouslyathiswatch.Willwehavetimeforthebeginningofthematch?WearrivedinFeyrvyuPark-bigandblownby windsfromallsidesapublicpark-aminutebeforethestartingwhistle."Belvedere"defeatedus4-0.Itwasatotalfucking mess,thecat-in-hell-and-mouse,andsoitseemstoCork-togivemoreboysfromDublin,aneasypuzzletowhichtheyare easilyhandledinhistypicalarrogantmanner.IfIplayedlikecrazyonthatday,itwasbecausehefelttheonlyplayeronthe team. "Belvedere"enjoyedgreatsuccess-intheParkFeyrvyumanypeoplehadgatheredtowatchthematch.I'vebeenplayingfor themselves.EvenwhenIrealizedthatthegamewasup,Ididnotwinddown.Iwillshow,Ithoughttomyself,thesebastards outofDublin,asnecessary,theirmother,playing.Iwaslikeobsessedwithastrangemixofanger,despair,andpridein themselves.Thisfeelingcanchangethecourseofgames,andeveninthemosthopelesssituation,withityoucanfindaway out.ButnotthatdayinFeyrvyu.  Afterthematchwewenttoabartodrinkaglassoforangejuiceandeatasandwich.JohnO'Rourke,vicepresident, "Remblers"cameandsatnexttome,"Roy,wasascoutatthegameof"NottinghamForest."Hesaidthattheywanttocall youontheshow."Myheartisnotbeatingwithjoy.Whereisthescout?-Wasmyfirstreaction.Ifhewassoimpressedwith mygame,whyhehimselfdidnotspeakaboutit?..Memoriesof"Brighton"isstillaliveinmyheart. "Hesaidhewillcontactwithyou"-Johncontinued.Hejustpassedonwhathesaid. SeveralweekspassedandIgotacallfromthe"Cova",askingifIcouldmeetwithascoutfromthe"Forest"byNoelMcCabe atthehotel"Aisling".IimmediatelylikedNoel,assoonasheopenedhismouth.Hewashonestandopeninhisconversation withme.Heaskedmetocometowatchandnotacontractthatisnotwithinitscompetence."Butyou'reaplayer,typicalof the"Forest",son.Youcanpasstheballwithouthardship,toworkonthepenaltytothepenaltyandscoregoals.Brian Cloughyouapproachyou"-heassuredmeNoel.Heimpressedmeashonestanddirectperson. NowthejoyIsuppressedtheinFeyrvyu,lungingout.Iaminsomeunknownsenseunderstoodhereitfinallyhappened.My chancefinallycame.I'mready.Isworeafterthefiascowiththe"Brighton"thatbelieveinhisEnglishdream,whenIholda ticketinhand.AndIhavenodoubtthatMcCabewillkeephisword.Ijustre-ranintoyetanotherdisappointmentinlife.Igota ticket.ButwhenhearrivedinNottingham,isnomatchfortheshowwasnot.EverydaythereIwaswaitingforhim,every day,workedwithyouthteamcoachArchieGemmill.WheredidBrianClough?..LiamO'Kane?..RonnieFenton?  AttheendoftheweekIwasgivenaone-waytickethome."Wewillgetbackwithyou"-Iwastold. "Well,howdiditgo?"-Askedmetothe"Cove". "Nothingisheld",-Ianswered. IcontactwithNoelMcCabe.Hecallsthe"Forest".Therewasadiscrepancy.I'llbebackthereinApril. WhenIreturnedtothe"Nottingham",acoupleofdaystotrainreservistsclub.IwastoldthatIplayfor'Forest'against'the TranmereRovers'LeagueinMidlandCounty.Atthegame,LiamO'Kaneandchiefscout,"Forest"AlanHill.It'snowor never! Stadium"Tranmere"wasempty.Ididnotcare.Ilearnedtomakehimselfthesurroundingatmosphereinthehead.Playing onthe"garden"MayfieldandtrainingfieldPalmerstown,Ifoundtheabilitytoheatitself,regardlessoftheenvironmentand allthoseannoyingexcuseforbadstadiumsintheNationalLeague.Inthematchagainst"Trenmera"grayafternooninlate springthatI'vebeentaughtandwhatdidnotseemtomattermuch,showeditselfinfullmeasure.Iplayedwell,pass, escaped,driftedintorolledup,wonthebadballsintheair.Ihavereplacedinthe70thminute.Wealreadywentthrough.But thistimeIfeltthateverythinggoesasitshould. ThenextdayBrianCloughtoldmethathewasgoingtobuyoutmycontract.Thenecessarypreparationfornegotiationswith "RemblersCove."Iamafraidtheywillasktoomuch.IfiguredthatIwasstandingabout5,000pounds.

JohnO'Rourke,vicepresidentandJohnMeadledadelegationof"RemblersCove"innegotiationswiththe"Forest".The clubenlistedtheassistanceofaformerplayerof"Chelsea"andJohnHollinsEngland,whowasfamiliarwiththeconductof suchcases. Negotiationsonthepartof"Nottingham"washeadedbyRonnieFenton.Whenstartedtrading,Itriednottobetrayemotion. Theguysfrom"Kowa"saidthebigmoney.Thingswentnotintherightdirection,whileBrianCloughwasnotincludedinthe study.Itwasanold,tatteredgreensweater,andnexttohim-hisgoldenretriever.I'vebeenplayingwiththedogandtherest weretalkingaboutmoney.CloughorderedthatRonnieFentongavethe"gentlemenofIreland,"todrink. "He'sgood?"-AskedCloughFenton,pointingatme. "Hecanplayalittle,boss"-theanswerFenton. Now,theconversationappearedlargeramounts.First20,000pounds,thenanother10,000afterthefirsttengames,and even10,000,whenIwillplay20matchesfor"Forest.""Cove"willgetanother7000,whenmyaccountwillbefivegoalsfor thenationalteamofIreland. "Thedealisdone,Mr.Clough"-IheardfromJohnO'Rourke. "Thesefundsdonotgoinyourpocket,donotyou?"-BarkedathimClough. "Mr.Clough,wehadtotakeadayofftocomehere.Itcostsusmoney,"-saidO'Rourke. "Okay,Ronnie,givethemmoney."Turningtoourdelegation,headded:"YoucancallmeBrian.Nowletusdrink."Turning tomeandthedog,hebarked:"Exceptyou.CallmeMr.Clough.""Toughguy"-Ithought. "Forest"hassignedacontractwithmethreeyearswithasalaryof250poundsperweek,50ofwhichwenttopayrentat home,hometotwofootballplayers.Ialsoreceivedaliftintheamountof1500poundsperyear.Frankly,Iwouldagreeto playandforafractionofwhatwas.Mr.Cloughtoldmetocometothepre-seasontraininginJuly.Feelinghimselfa millionaire,I'mbackinCork.Overthenextfewweeks,Iateanddrankfarmorethanthenorm. II Ialreadypaidfortheirfeasts,whenhereturnedtothelocationof"Forest".Thefirstweekwashell.Somedayswedonotsee theball,running,payingattentionfirstandforemostthedevelopmentofendurance,physicalfitness,andintheintervals spentrestoringtheexercise. Finallyweweregivenballs.Isurvivedtheworst-physicaltorture,butnowbegantoenjoytheirwork. "Forest"wontheLeagueCupaweekbeforemyarrival.Thefirstteamplayedoutstandingfootballmozhestvo.StuartPearce, DesWalkerandSteveHodgeplayedforEngland,NigelCloughisalreadyknockingatthedooroftheteam.Itwasnoticeable thatPiercehadastrongcharacter.HehadjustreturnedfromtheWorldCup,wherenotscoredthedecisivepenaltyshootout inthesemifinals.Butthisfactdoesnotaffecthiscredibility.  AspartofreservistsItrainedwithSteveStone,IanScottGemmillUoanomandthesonofajuniorteamcoachArchie,who stoodoutamongtheothers.PhilipStarbuckwasanotheroutstandingplayerdoubles,playedafewgamesforthefirstteam. BrianCloughrarelyattendtraining.LiamO'Kanespenttrainingwiththefirstteam,andArchieGemmillcoachedus.  AlthoughCloughcouldnotseehispresencefelt.Hisgoldenretriever,Del,asusual,appearedonthefield,signalinghis approach.Suddenlyeverythingstartedtoworkwithevengreaterzeal.Exceptme.Ialwaysshookthewholepieceofmetal. Ilovedmyjobifyoucancallitso,andeverydayfeltstrongerandstronger,gettingusedtoworkingprofessional. Mypresentlifeseemedaparadise. Inthelockerroomdoublesmyyouthfulenthusiasmisnotsharedbyall.Iwassurprisedandevenshockedbytheattitudeto worksomeoftheplayers.Theyarealwaysgrumbling.Somewereunhappythattheywerenotphotographedtogetherwith thefirstteam,consideringitabadsignbeforetheseasonstarted.Perhapsitwas,butwhatthefuck!Withthisyoucan somehowcope!Tolistentothem,sinceArchieGemmillwasafreak,andBrianClough-abum.Wehaveexperiencedheavy load.Seasonhasnotstartedyet,buttheseguyshavewhined,lookingforjustificationforhisfailure.Ivowednevertobea whiner.Ifonlytheseguysknewhowmanyguyswouldgivetheirrightarmtosithereinthislovelysummerdayandgetpaid forplayingfootball. Whenthefirstteamwenttothepre-seasontraininginItaly,Iwentwithplayersyoungerthan21yearsatatournamentin Holland."Sporting"(Lisbon),"Barcelona","Eindhoven"and"Haarlem",takingthecompetitionwereourrivals.Weeasilybeat "Sporting"2-0inthefirstmatch.Ifeltlikeafishinwater.ThePortuguesewerewelltreatedwiththeball,butwereweakinthe "physics". Thenwesmashed"Eindhoven"5-1andIscoredmyfirstgoaloftheprofessionalteam.Inthenextgamewelost,"Haarlem," 0-2,whichputinplacethebulkoftheyoungerplayers.Nevertheless,wereachedthesemi-finals,whereweweremetwith "Barcelona".TheSpaniardstooktheleadfromtheveryfirstminutesofthematch.Butassoonaswetunedupthepace,they begantosimulateand"dive".Wedrovethemtodeath,playingconfidentlyintheselectionandraspasovyvayaballs,which won3-1. Inthefinalsweplayedagainwiththe"Haarlem."Thegamewastense.PhilStarbuckscoredagoalbackwitha"point", makingtheexpenseof1:1,whichmeantholdingpenalties.AllrememberedwhathappenedatthelastWorldCup,when Englandflewoutofthetournament,losinginthesemi-finalsinWestGermanyonpenalties.Wehavenotplayedatthesame rate,butIhavenodoubtthatrentmyfirstserioustestasaplayer,"Forest",anditsuccessfullypassed. MyfirsttaskfortheseasonwasaplaceinthestartinglineupReserves"Forest".SothetournamentintheNetherlandshas givenmeconfidence.FirstPre-seasongameathomewasagainstanamateurclub.Istartedthematchonthebench.It'sa littleupsetme,becausethegamewasattendedbyBrianClough,andIwantedtoimpresshim.Hecameintothelockerroom andaskedArchieGemmillexit. Onlysometimelater,foundoutabouttheirconversation. Clough:"IwouldliketolookattheIrishman.Replacehisson(heplayedinmidfield)."  Archie:"Iwillsethiminthesecondhalf." Shortlyafterthestartofthesecondhalfofthemeeting,IsawCloughcomingtothebrow,"Archie!-Hesnapped.-Produces anIrishman."Overthenextfifteenminutes,nothinghappened.Ihungupthenose.Twentyminutesbeforetheendofthe

gameArchieledthefieldwithScottandIputup.IfeelthatIwasonthefieldonlybecauseofthefactthatmypresencehadto endure,butitshowedallthatwascapableofremainingtime. Myfirstweekinthe"Forest"onlyconfirmedwhatIsuspected:theworldwasfullofthosewhoalwaysbluffing,andwhiners- theguyswhohavethetitleofaprofessionalanddonotmeettherequirements,confirmingtheirstatus.Andtheyare outragedArchieGemmillbehavior,whoplayedforScotlandandwonnationalchampionshipsattheCupofChampions!And asacoach,whowontwochampionshipswithmodestclubs-"Forest"and"Derby"andtwoCupchampions.Thisisnota  joke! Iamnotaparagonofvirtue,andprovethattime.ButattheverybeginningofmycareerIrealizedthedifferencebetweenthe respectfrompeoplelikeGemmill,CloughandStuartPearce,andsowhenyoujustcallyourselfaprofessional.Iwantedto belikethemandtoreachtheirlevelandknewIhadalotofwork. Butformeitdidnottakelong,asIthought.Afewdayslaterwasfollowedbyadramaticanddisturbingevent.OnSaturday, "Forest"openedtheseasoninthefirstdivision,playingintheirstadiumwiththe"QueensParkRangers"-1:1.Nigel  jamesonitescoredfromthepenaltyspot.Iwasinterestedspectator.Thesettingwasgorgeous,andthelawnlookedlikea perfectcarpet.That'sthewayIhadimaginedinthefirstdivisionfootball.Theresultdisappointed"Forest",whichwasstill amongtheleadingclubsinthecountry,settingthetoneinthechampionshipoverthepreviousfewyears. Inthedoublesmatch,Iwentonthefield,whenweweretenminutes,andcoulddonothing.AfterthegameIjoinedtherestof theplayersheadingforthetowntobinge.Skippingafewpintsofbeer,Ifellintobed.Itwasnearlytwoo'clockinthe morning. ThenextmorningIwenttothegym.Thefirstteamplayedinthedayto"Anfield"(stadium"Liverpool."-VS).AssoonasI appearedon"CityGround",experiencingaslighthangoverfromlastnight,meandPhilStarbuck,sittinginthelockerroom, approachedRonnieFenton."Yougotothe"Enfield",-hesaid.-Anddonotforgetyourboots." Thesearefor! Well,IthoughtPhilplayedacouplegamesforthefirstteam-hewasatalentedplayer,sohisattractiontothegamewasthe naturalcourseofthings.Iprobablyneededinordertogainexperienceandtohelpcarrybagstoourmanager,engagedina form.But...StuartPearce,SteveHodgeandTerryWilsonwasfoundtohavebeeninjured. ThefirstteamarrivedinLiverpoolthenightbefore,soIgotinthecarPhilRonnieFenton.OnthewaytoLiverpool,we stoppedataDerbytrainer.BrianCloughlivedinalargeprivatehouse.Iwasinstructedtoringthedoorbell. "Ah,anIrishman,howareyou?" "Okay,boss." Hecomesinandgivesmeafullthree-quarterbottleofmilk. "That'sanIrishman.Drinkup." God,Ihatemilk! "Idonotlikemilk,boss." "Drink." "Shutup,Roy...anddrinkit!" "Thanks,boss."Andthecontentsofthebottledirectsmetothestomach. Meanwhile,Mr.andMrs.Cloughexchangedstrongwords.Obviously,shehadmorecouragethanIdo. "Comeon,Irish,we'releaving." "Sofar,MrsClough.Nicetomeetyou." Onarrivalatthehotel,whichhousedthefirstteam,wewenttoPre-matchlunch.IstayednexttoPhil,whowastheonly playerwhoisfamiliartome.Istillfeltnotquitereadytotomeetallnecessaryrequirements. "Enfield"seemedveryspacious.Anhourbeforethestartofthegameinthestadiumheardthehumofvoices.Theteam "Liverpool"wasconsideredasanaristocratofEnglishfootball.IanRush,PeterBeardsley,JohnBarnes,RayHoughtonand RonnieWhelan.Theyallplayedfordifferentteams.SuchasituationlikeBrianClough.Ifotherteamsweredefeatedbefore theysawthefamousinscription"Thisisa"Enfield",leadingfromthecorridoronthefield,Cloughlikedconfrontationwiththe legends"Enfield",andhegavehiscommitmenttotheplayers. Tosomehowbehelpful,Istartedtohelpcarrybagstoourmanager. "TheIrishman,whatareyoudoing?" "Help"-wasmyanswer. "Takeat-shirtwiththeseventhnumber.Doyouplay." "Sorry?" "You'replaying." Itwasashock. Fortunately,IdidnotevenhavetimetothinkaboutwhatI'mgoingtodebutinfirstdivision.AgainstthebestteaminBritain. Onthe"Anfield".Forforty-fiveminutescanmakealotofthings.Forexample,topresentitselfasthemainplayers,"Forest", whichhadnoclueaboutwhothis"Irish". Inthewarmuponthefield,Iansweredquestions."Repeatyourname,son?" "Roy"-Ireplied. Theyweregreat!Theirattitudewasfriendlyandmeantonlyonething:"Goodluck,son!" Strange,butIwascalmwhenheleftthelockerroom.Clough,asalways,waswoundup.Hewasnotafraidtoasserttheir opinionandtakingintoaccountallthecircumstances,donotputpressureonme. Despitethefactthat"Liverpool"beatuseasilyintheevening2-0-RushandBeardsleyscoredagoal,IfeltIdideverything right.  Alotoffansinthe"Anfield"knewalotaboutfootball,playinginfrontofthemwasapleasure.Mygamehascauseda positiveresponsefromtheaudience,who,despitetheircommitmenttooneteam,donothesitatetoexpressyourfeelings whenitwasnecessarytoestimateagoodfootballnomatterwhoplayed.Butthateveningat"Anfield"andIwitnessedthe almosttotallackofpatriotism.DublinerRonnieWhelan,welcomingthestartofhisyoungcareer,acompatriotofRoy

Mayfield-likethere-his-name,whichnearlyblewhisheadoff,takingawaytheball.IparticipatedinacollisionwithRay Houghton.ThismeetingisIrish,fromwhichthecrackedbone,wasalsodevoidofmutualaffection.Countsthenumberof timesinhiscareer,Iwasgladtoleavethefieldafteradefeat.Wehavedoneeverythinginourpower.Andifyouguysknew mynameatthebeginningofthematch,butnowIfeltthattheyrememberhim. WhenIcalledhisfatherafterthegametotellhimthatplayedagainstthe"Liverpool",hewasasshockedasIdidacoupleof hoursago. "How'ditgo,son?"-Heasked. Isaid,"Okay." NowthatIhaveexperiencedthetasteofrealfootball,mygoalwastoplaceatthebaseofthefirstteam. WhenImetBrianCloughinthelockerroom,"theCityGround,"thenextmorning,heaskedmemyname."Roy"-Ireplied. Thenhetookoffhisshoes,whichweredirtyfromwalkingwithhisdog."Youdonotcleanthemforme,Roy?"Iwashappyto complywithhisrequest.Iunderstandwhyhedoesit.Ikepthisplaceinthecompositionandintheawaymatchwith "Coventry"nextSaturday.Weplayedadraw,whichwouldbeavictory,ifIusedagreatchanceattheendofthematch.In thenextroundIdebutedatthehomestadiumofthegamewith"Southampton."Mymomanddadwithtwoguyscameto play.ThenextmorningIwenttolookatthegamealternates.ArchieGemmillwasfuriouswhenhesawmeattheedge. "Whatareyoudoinghere?Youhaveanimportantmatchtoday.Gohomeandrest." Whenyou'renineteen,andinthemorningwillmakeitsdebutatthestadiumofyourteam,notsoeasytorelax.Especially whenyourfamilytravelsfromCorktoattendthisimportanteventforyou. "TheCityGround,"andfans"Forest"willremainforeverinmyheart.Playersoftensaythattheydonotnoticevisitors.And it'strue-themoreexperienceyouhaveamassed,thelessyouactontherostrum,whetheryou'replayingattheirstadiumor ataparty.Butpartofthegameistocommunicatewithstands-oryouforcethemtoshutup,ortoreciprocatethepassionof itsfans,especiallythepartthatunderstandsfootball.Myfirstgameat"theCityGround"wasfinishedtenminutesbeforethe finalwhistle,whenIreplacedBrianClough.Wewere3-1.Iparticipatedinthefirstgolandspentagoodmatch.When consideringallthecircumstances,especiallythefactthatthegamewaspresent,myfamily,thedebutofthisonecouldonly dreamof.Supporterscarriedmeoffthefield,standingapplauding.Iwashappyandatthesametimeconfused.Iwasinthe lockerroomandwasabouttogointotheshower,whenIwasapproachedbyArchieGemmillandsaidthatthebosswould liketobringmeuptothefield.TomysurpriseIwentafterArchie.IwasevenmoresurprisedwhenBrianCloughhuggedme andkissedonthecheek,tothedelightandamazementoftheaudience. Itwasanamazingfinalgloriousday.Thepresenceofmyparentsandbrothers,andNoelMcCabe,whocamespeciallyto seemyfirstgameatthestadium"Forest",remindedmehowmuchmylifehaschangedoverthelastsixmonthssincethen, asthe"CoveRemblers"wererouted0:4FeyrvyuPark. InthefutureIwillhaveasmalltiffwithBrianClough,butIwillneverforgethowandwhathedidforme.Hewascanny, preparedforthefactthattobeatoughnon-conformist,opposingpublicopinion.Onthedayofthematchwith"Southampton" Cloughbehavedpolitelypointedouttomyfamily.Despiteallitsmerits,Cloughcouldbeasimpleman,thatisnotoftenthe casewithlivinglegends. Overthenextfewmonths,thetransitionalperiodinmylifecompletelyover.WeekafterweekIplayedagainstplayersand clubs,forwhichIwatchedonTVlastseason.InOctober,weplayedwith'Tottenham'to'CityGround."Myfirstmeetingwith theclubforwhichIwasill.AndwithPaulGascoigne,whosetearsattheworldchampionshipslastsummer,madehiman idol.Headoredthewholecountry,andithascausedrenewedinterestintheEnglishnationinfootballthatledtothecreation ofthePremierLeaguewithamultimillion-dollarcontractsfromthe«SkyTelevision».PartnersGazzaintheteamStuart PearceandDesWalkerwarnedmebeforethegamethathewouldtrytoprovokeme.Andsoithappened-heverbally abusedme,screamingthatIwasanIrishcripple,whodidnotunderstandanythingofhorseradishinthegame.Manyofhis wordspassedmyears.Ididnotunderstandhisaccent.Infact,hewasveryfunny.Alas,suchsverhodarennyplayerwasted hisenergyonsomethingthatIprovoke. BrianCloughwassympathetictomyrequest,letmegohomeforafewdays.Usually,Iapproachedhimwiththisquestion afterSaturday'smatch,whichendedwellforus,andhisanswerisalmostnotdifferentfromtheold,"Go,myson,seeyouon Thursday." TheonlythingthatbotheredmeisthatIhavenotscoredanygoalsfor"Nottingham."OnlyinDecember,Imarkedthefirst goalinthechampionshipmatchagainstthe'SheffieldUnited'to'BremollLane."But,unfortunately,wedidfailed.Mynext goalinthemeetingwith"Wimbledon"turnedouttobevictorious. SoonBrianCloughcalledmeintohisoffice.UnderthetermsofmycontractIprovidedtotheclubcar."TheIrishman,takeit" -hesaid,throwingonthetableabunchofcarkeys. Igotabrandnewcarbrands,"FordOrion."Iwasinseventhheaven.Thiswasanothersymbolofprogressandproofthatthe lastsixmonthshavenotbeensleeping.AndIcareaboutmycarasachild.EverySundayIwascleaningit.Ioftenwent withoutapurpose,justtogetpleasurefrommy"cars". IntheFACupwiththe"CrystalPalace"Ifirstfelttheatmosphereofthiscompetition,whichin1991wasofgreatimportance fortheplayers.Reachingthefinalatthe"Wembley"wasthecherisheddreamofeveryprofessionalandeveryfanin England.SuccessintheFACuphasbeenespeciallyimportantforBrianClough-hewastheonlymajortrophythathehad notyetwon. Bylot,wehadtoplayonthe"CrystalPalace".Wehaveclungtozerotie.Inthereplayonthe"CityGround,"wewereinthe scorewas2:1,whenIwastooweaksenttheballbackgoalkeeperMarkCrossley,whichledtodireconsequences.Mark managedtohittheball,butrightatJohnherring,whichthrewtheballoverthegoalkeeperwithaforty-fivemeters.Their mother! WhenIwalkedintothelockerroomafterthegame,Cloughpunchedmeintheface."Donotgivetheballbackgoalkeeper!"- Heshouted,standingovermeasIlayonthefloor.Ifeltpainandwasstunned-stunnedtoo,todosomethingaboutit,and onlynoddedinagreement.MyhoneymoonwithCloughandprofessionalfootballisover.Sometimesinthelockerroom becomesunbearable,therecannotbeforgivenmuch.KnockdownofCloughwaspartofmylessons.Realizinghowmuch

pressurehefeels,Ididnotkeephiminjury.Hedidnotapologize,butnextweekIwasgivenseveraldaysoff,soIwenthome toCork.  Afterthesecondreplaywitha"CrystalPalace",inwhichwewon3-0,"Forest"playdroppedawayfromthe"Newcastle"in1/ 16.AllmatcheswereheldinNewcastleinahardstruggle.Fifteenminuteslaterweconcededtwounansweredgoals. InthefaceofStuartPearce,wehadaplayerwhoreallyansweredallthedefinitionsofthepros.Piercewastheleader,atrue professional,hehasprovedinthecupmatches.Heledtheothersbyhisexample.Heinfectedeveryonewithhis intransigence.Whensomeplayersstartedtodroptheirheads,Piercenoticedthisandencouragedthem.Onehadtobe stronglanguage,theother-apatontheshoulder. Wedesperatelyfoughtatthestadium,"St.James'Parktoremedythesituation.DespitethefactthatStuartPearcehas playedatleft-backposition,hewasthemaindrivingforcebehindtheteam.Atsuchmoments,this"Obsessed",seemedto playlikeapsychopath.Heactedtoughintheselection.Hecouldnotgettoshakethefaintofheartattackers.Hismagnificent leftiteasilycontrolledwiththeball. Inthegamewith"NewcastleUnited"hiscontributiontothesuccesswasdecisive.Itreducedthegapintheaccount.Nigel Cloughhasrestoredthebalancefortwominutesbeforethebreak.ItisforthisgameBrianCloughandStuartPearce appreciated. MostofthecontendersinacollisionwithapencilPierce.Thiscupmatchwasanimportantlessonforme.Thewilltowinand desireareimportantcomponentsofthegame.Thestrengthofspiritinourfightwitharivalwasmoreimportantthanmere skill. Wecaneasilybeatthe"Newcastle"inthereplay3-0.Andagaininthenextroundwehadtoplayataparty-thistimewith "Southampton." Soonafterthegamewith"NewcastleUnited",IwassummonedtotheforeigntourofIrelandnationalteam.Thistrip coincidedintimewiththeguestplay,"Forrest"against"Bansli"inacommercialtournament"CupZenitDeytaSystems." NeedlesstosaythatBrianCloughwascountingonme."Forest"wasmylivelihood,soIadvisedtheFootballAssociationof Irelandwouldnotbeabletoattend.IphonedMauricePrice,mytraineratcoursesFAS.HeassuredmethatIneedtogo.I explainedtohimthathemustplayfor'Forest'. "Hey,Roy.BigJacksaidthatifyourefusetotravel,you'renevergoingtoplayforIreland,"-repliedPrice. Forsometime,feelingembarrassed,Iquicklyporaskinulbrains.Ittookmelessthanthirtysecondstomakeadecision."Ifhe says,thensobeit,Maurice"-soIsaidpolitely,asfaraswaspossibleinthissituation.IowetoBrianCloughand"Forest"to allthatIhave.IwasproudofhisIrishorigins,butthe"Forest"gavemeasalary.ItistohimImustbetrue.Iwas disappointedbythefactthatCharltonistryingtointimidateaplayerlikeme. WearetiedineighthfinalsoftheFACupwith"Southampton",andNigeljamesonitehat-trickinare-meeting,whichallowed ustoachieveaneasyvictory.Finaleto"Wembley"nowseemedachievabletask,inspiteofthefactthatwehadtoplaywith, "Norwich",andagainataparty. Onthewayto"CarrowRoad,"ourbusbrokedown.Wehadtowalkthelastthreemilestothestadium.Attheheadofthe procession,tothesurpriseoffans,"Norwich"wasBrianClough.Astothe"Wembley"bothteamshadonlytwomatches,the gametookplaceinthetough,toughfight.Again,StuartPearcewasourinspirationinthisdifficultmatchinwhichthe opponentisconstantlykeptusunderpressure.Again,hispresenceonthefieldhasbecomeimportantcomponentsofour success. 0-0wasforusanacceptableresult.Butthereplaywasnotneeded,sinceIscoredagoalatendofthematch.Anotherbattle won,itwonanothervictoryofthespirit,embodiedinStuartPearce,ourleader. Satisfied,IaskedBrianCloughtogivemeafewdaysoffforthetriphome."SeeyouonFriday'-wastheshortanswer Clough. III Oursemi-finalmatchwiththe"WestHam"to"VillaPark"wastheeasiestinthewholetournament.Afterthefirstfifteen minutes,whentheplayers'WestHam'hitthegoalposts,theyhavenocourageleft.Theycertainlydidnothelpandremoving theircenter-forwardTonyGaleatthefifteenthminute.Butbythetimewestartedwinningallmikrodueliacrossthefield, againledbyexampleStuartPearce. Traditionally,thesemifinalmatchesoftheFACupruninabitterstruggle.Opportunitytoenterthefinalsatthe"Wembley" makestheteamplaywithcaution.Fearoflosingisfeltparticularlyacutely-noonewantstomakeamistakethatcouldput anendtothedischargeoftheirdreams.AcombinationofclevertacticspansBrianCloughanddetermination"possessed" helpedusoutonthefieldinanoverwhelmingstateofmind.MeaningofCloughwassimpleandsoothingonthenerves:"It's  justanothergame,playourowngameandwin."HedidnotmentionthattheFACupistheonlymajortrophy,whichis missinginhiscollectionofawards,althoughitwaswritteninallthenewspapers.Inaddition,hemadenomentionof statisticsthatsaynotinourfavor,andaswellasthepresswrote:"Forest"wononlytwoofelevensemi-finalmatchesofthe FACup,inwhichheparticipated. Lookingaroundthelockerroom,Ifeltnofear.StuartPearce,DesWalkerandSteveHodgeplayedforEngland.Gary Charles,I,NigelandGaryCrosbyjamesonite,despitehisyouthandlackofexperience,receivedaboostofenergyfrom olderteammates,especiallyfromStuartPearce.Buttherewassomethingthatmademewonder.BesidesthefactthatStuart Pearce,DesWalkerandBrianCloughdidnotfeelanyfear,theyrushedintobattleandwerelookingforwardtothematch. "Go,go!Playfun-becauseweworkedforjustsuchcriticalgames,"-itseemed,theysaid. Ifeltpositiveemotions,whenIcameoutofthelockerroomtotakepartinthemostimportantmatchofmycareer.That's whatIalwayswanted. "WestHam"playedintheseconddivision,havingachanceofreachingthefirst.GaryCrosby,I,StuartPearceandGary Charlesscoredagoalandwewon4-0.Intheothersemifinal,"Tottenham"beat"Arsenal".BrianCloughwillmakeanother attempttotaketheFACup.Oneyearlater,afterameetingwithNoelMcCabeIwaspreparingfor"Wembley". TwoweeksbeforethefinalsIdamagedligamentsankleinthechampionshipmatch.Itwasaseriousblow.Ipassionately wantedtoplayagainstthe"Hotspur"to"Wembley".ButIknewthattheleadershipof"Forest"doesnotmakemeamatch,

untilIproveitsreadiness.OnMondayIwassupposedtoplayinthedoublestodeterminemycondition.Iplayedthatgame withabandageonherankle.Almostnormal. OnThursday,ignoringcommonsense,BrianCloughnamedthestartinglineupyet,twodaysbeforethefinal.Iwasnamed amongtheothersandwasputinplaceaplayerforEnglandSteveHodge. WearrivedinLondononThursday.Whenwearrivedatthehotel,RonFentonsaidthatSteveandIaregoingtoliveinone room.IdonotknowwhatthesepsychologicalexperimenttoprovetoBrianClough.I'veneversharedaroomwithSteve,and inthesecircumstances,eachofusobviouslyfeeluncomfortable.Likeme,Stevewasnotatalkativeguy.Wedidnotwantto discusswhatlodgedinourbrainandmostofusworried:hiswithdrawalfromthemineandofcourseahugesteptothefinal FASto"Wembley".  Anotherimportantissueforallplayers,"Forest"hadticketsforthefinal.Ourlimitoftwentyticketsguaranteeasourceof headacheforeach.Friends,family,relatives,anyonewhohasoncedoneyouafavor(oroncedidmeafavorwithyour friends,familyorrelatives)-allwantedtogetticketsforthefinal.Itwasamatteroflifeanddeath,aheavyburdenforthe playerswhowerepreparingforanimportantfootballmatch. Myanklestillbotheredme.Theatmosphereintheroomwastense.ButIcansaywithcertaintythattheforty-eighthours beforethefinalI'mmostjoltedoutoftickets.Frommyfamilyandfriends,Ireceivedarequestforty-fivetickets.Ijustgain enemies.Nowitisdifficulttobelievethatmymemoriesofthefirstimportantmatchinhiscareerwererelatedtothesearch fortheprecioustickets.ItseemedthatthematchcomestothewholeofCork.Whatshouldhavebeenasignificantmilestone inmycareerhasturnedintoanightmare. Onlyforty-fiveminutesbeforethematchIstartedtoprepareforthegame. Searchticketsnegativelyaffectedmycondition.WhenwecameoutonthefieldafterBrianClough,Iwascrushed.Iwas squeezedlikealemonandnotfeelunderyourfeetdown,spendingalltheirenergyinthepreviouseighthours.Yes,andmy anklewasnotinthebestcondition. Presshaspreparedherforthefinalexampleprogram"Spurs"-"Forest".Commentatorssaidthatthe"Wembley"isagood placetoPaulGascoignehasprovedthatitisworthadoration,whichEnglandhadforhimafterhistearfuldeparturefromthe worldchampionshiplastyear.Gazzastrikesthehourinthisgame?Othercircumstancesmatch,asthenewspapers concernedBrianClough.Canhefinishhisgreatcareercoach,gotholdoftheCup,whichhedidnotmanagetowin? Goingtothis"greatscene",itwashardtoconcentrate.Thefansbehavednoisily,buttheywerefaraway.BrianClough brisklymarchedaheadofus,holdingthearmofTerryVenables. PrinceCharlesshookhandswithme. Gazzalikeamadman. TwominutesafterthematchGascoigne"knockedout"byGaryParkerkickinthechestbyadoptingoneofthetechniquesof kungfu.Welookedatthejudge.Invain.Hiseyesglistened.AswithGascoigne.Itwasevidentthathewentoutofcontrol. Maniac.Crazy.Tenminuteslater,Gascoignewasonastretcher.GaryCharlesknockedtheballlongbeforetheyarrivedin timeforhimGascoigne.Asaresult,heinjuredhimself.Asitturnedout,thisisacruciateligamentinjury,whichhepaidto himselfandalsohadaninfluenceonGazza'scareer-henolongerwenttothepreviouslevel.Unbelievable,butthistimethe refereedidnotpunishhimforhisroughplayagainstCharles!  Asalways,StuartPearcewasexcellent.WhenGazzawentintothetunnel,Piercescoredagreatgoalfromthepenaltyarea. Wewereonthebillbyamarginofonegoalathalftime.Iwastormentedbymyankle,butIdidnotwanttoadmitthatIcould notholdoutforanotherfortyfiveminutes.Thesecondhalfofthegamewasterrible.Inthefirsthalf,MarkCrossleysaveda penaltygoalafteraperformanceofGaryLineker.Butthe"Spurs"putpressureonus.Theresponsegoalwasinevitable.And soithappened,andthegamemovedintothemainstreamofextratime. Despitetheailingankle,Imusteredallhisstrength,butcouldnotreallyhelptheteam.Myfeetaretiredoftheturf,thefans remaineddistantspot,creatingbackgroundnoise,resultinginabereavementintouchwiththem,whichischaracteristicfor theusualSaturdaymatches.WhenDesWalkerscoredtheowngoalandgavethe'Spurs'victory,itseemedappropriate endingnightmareoftheday.Tickets,ankle,Gazza,ahotelroomwithaguyIkickedoutof!InthelockerroomIwas devastated. IgottwolessonsfromthisCup.Thefirsthasonlystrengthenedmybeliefthatfootballisprimarilyagamecommand.Thenas acoach,"theSpurs'TerryVenableshasreorganizedhisteamafterthedepartureofGazzawasveryimpressive.IfGazza was,wecouldneutralizehim,leavingthe"Spurs"nochancetothreatenourgoal.However,rivalrearrangedtheirranksand achievedtheresultbythefactthatthewholeteam,"Spurs"wasbetterthanthesumofitsindividualcomponents.Also,I realizedhowmuchyoucandrawfromavarietyoffootballaffairs-inmycaseitwasthetickets.Ittookmealongtimetouse thoselessonsinlife.Ialsofeltasfarasthehypeinthepressaroundthecupcansuckyou,makeyouforgetthattheCup final-it'sjustanotherfootballgame.BythisloserinthiscasewasPaulGascoigne,whosufferedforwhatIwantedtomeet theexpectationsofthepressandmakeitaheavyburdenontheirfragileshoulders. Iknowthat,despitethedefeatofthe"Forest",theexperiencewasgoodforme.Thedefeatofthe"Wembley"putmedown fromheaventoearth. ImmediatelyaftertheFACupfinalIwasdraftedintotheRepublicofIreland,whichtookinafriendlymatchatthestadium Chilenationalteam,"LansdowneRoad."ThiswasmyfirstmeetingwithJackCharlton,orasitiscalled,BigJack,whose successwiththeRepublicofIrelandmadehimanationalhero.IwasgladthatIwasinvitedtotheteam,butmyfirststayin theteamwasnotanythingmemorable.Irelanddidnotknowdefeatatthe"LansdowneRoad"forfivematches.Chileans almostbroketheseries.OnlyagoalbyDavidKellyfortenminutesbeforetheendofthemeetinghasallowedustocomplete thematchadraw.Mycontributiontotheteamgamewashardlyunique. Charlton'sapproachtofootballdifferedsharplyfromwhatweseein"Forest".Thegamewasnotapassforhiminthefirst place.Hedemandedthateveryareaofthefieldcreatedbythenumericalsuperiority,hedidemphasizethattodisarman opponent,butnottoplayconstructivefootball.Histacticwastothrowthelongballbehinddefenseopponentsandthenfight forthemonanothersideofthefield,wherehehopedwecouldgetthemwrong.Suchaprimitiveapproach,whichthe performerswereafewoutstandingplayers,helpedtheRepublicofIrelandatthattimetoenterthetwomajortournaments-

Euro88andItalia90."Daviethem!"-SuchwastheconvictionofJack."Donotbemistaken,notdrawnonitssideofthe field"-seemed,hesaid. Similarly,notknowingwhatisexpectedofme,exceptphysicaleffort,whichhasmademehappy,Iwantedtounderstand whetherCharltontooffersomethingmorethanhis"magicformula".Timehasshownthatitwasallhislifetacticalunits.  AfterasuccessfulfirstseasonofBrianCloughofferedmeanewcontractstipulatingasalaryof£700perweekplus15,000 pounds,whichwereissuedatthesigningoftheagreement. InOctober,IplayedhisfirstofficialmatchforthenationalteamofIreland,whichmetinthequalifyingtournamentplayedin EuropewiththenationalteamofPoland.TobreakintotheEuro-92,neededavictory.Bykeepingthescore3-1,we concededtwogoalsattheendofthematchandgavethePolesapointthatthey,frankly,deserve.MatchesintheRepublic ofIrelandweretomequitestrangelessons. IntheveryfoundationsoffootballCharltonwingacontradiction.Ontheonehand,hedemandedofusthatwedidnotlose theball,butontheotherhand,insistedthatweplayedalongpass,whichiswhymostofthegameballownedrival.Hisidea wastoforcetheopponenttomakemistakes.Goingforward,pressinguya,wedidnotallowhimtoestablishhisowntempo game.AcreativeapproachtothegamewasnotincludedintheplansofnationalteamofIrelandCharlton.Hedidnot encouragedeviationfromitsmountingonthegame.Wasalwaystheriskthatyoucouldbringhimintoarage,ifyoutrytodo somethingoriginal.ItwasclearthathedidnottrusteventhebestplayersintheteamofIrelandandnotallowthemtoplayat thefootball,theyareusedintheirclubs.That'swhatsomehavepaidouroutstandingplayers,includingLiamBrady,Ronnie WhelanandwhosecareerwasfinishedintheteamaftertheyfelloutoffavorwithCharlton. Weneededtimetogetusedtothefootball,whichrequireustoCharlton.RepublicofIrelandfootballfansweregreatasat homegamesandaway.Wehaveneverachievedmuchsuccessinfootball,soitwasnecessaryfirstofallagoodgame,not theresult.AndifyoubefairtoCharlton,itisnecessarytosaythatweachievedgoodresultsinmanymeetingswiththe countrieswhichpossesslargeresourcesoffootballthanIreland. Charltondidnotbelievethatwehaveinthestructureofhighqualityplayerswhocannotonlycatchupwiththeskillofthe playersofEuropeanteams,buttosurpasstheminanypartofthegame. MyperceptionofthefootballcontrarytopopularopinioninIrelandthatJackCharlton-isafootballgeniuswhohasmanaged ahundredandeightydegreestochangethepositionintheteamandgetgoodresultswithit,forcingplayerstochangetheir understandingofthegame. Inthesecondseasonof"Forest"Iplayedtwiceonthe"Wembley"-attheendof"ZenithDeytaSystemsCup"and "RambelouzCap"(LeagueCup).BrianCloughhassignedacontractwithTeddySheringhamfrom"Millwall",adding sharpnesstoourattacks. "RambelouzCap"wasimportantfortheteamsofthePremierLeague.Iscoredthewinninggoalinovertimeinthesemifinal matchagainstthe'Tottenham'to'WhiteHartLane."Witheachmatch,Ifeltstrongerandbetterpreparedinthecourseofhis secondseasonofhisprofessionalcareer.NowIhadestablishedareputation,Iwasfamous,soIpaidanopponentmore attention.Ineverstoppedlearning.Howtogetridofaguardian,howtocontrolthegame,howtochoosethetimeforthe racesintothepenaltyopponent.Butperhapsmostimportantly-fromtheirlessonsIhavelearnedthateverygameyoumust winaduelwithhisrivalinyoursectorofthefield. IwasluckythatIgotintoagoodteam,whichhasprovidedinvaluablesupporttoagreatcoach.StuartPearce,DesWalker, NigelCloughandTeddySheringhamwerehighqualityplayers.Itwasclearthat,althoughwefinditdifficulttocompetefor thechampionshipwiththeleadingclubs,includingthe"Liverpool","Arsenal","ManchesterUnited"and"Leeds",wecanplay withthematthesamelevel,wheninthemood.Butonthewholeseason,"Forest"wasnotabletoadequatelyresistthem. Wetooktheeighthplaceinthechampionshipandlostto"ManchesterUnited"inthefinaleof"RambelouzCap."Onceagain wewerenotinthespiritofplayingthe"Wembley",andalthoughwefought,butstill"United"wonthematch1-0. Despitethefactthatweplayedtwiceonthe"Wembley"andmoreorlesssuccessfullycompletedthechampionship,the"City Ground"andreignedaroundhimfeellike"Forest"islowerthanitslevel.AnnouncedtheestablishmentofthePremier League.Acontractwassignedwiththebroadcaster,"SkyTelevision."Thisdealpromisedfabulousprofitsfortheleading clubs,whichareseparatedfromtherestoftheleague. UndertheleadershipofBrianClough,"Forest"wonthechampionshipinhistime,andtwoEuropeanCup.Suchanincredible achievementhasbeenachievedwithoutinfusionofFinanceintransferdealswithfamousplayers.Indeed,itwaslikea miracle.Concernaboutthefateof"Forest"inthePremierLeaguewasassociatedwiththeever-growingfeelingamongfans thatBrianCloughwasnotsolegendarycoach,abletonewconditionstoachievesuccesswiththeclub,whichhadnotbeen abletoacquireplayers. InthelockerroomtheplayersbelongedtoCloughindifferentways:someofhisfear,hedidnotliketheothers,whileothers grumbledthattheyoftendonot.MyopinionaboutCloughwasduetothefactthatwasdecisiveforme:hegavemea chance,andIowedhimeverythingthatIhave.Howmanycoacheswillputtheirreputationontheline,puttingan inexperiencedyoungsterofnineteeninthefirstteam,andevento"Anfield"? Watchingthemoodinthelockerroom,Ibegantounderstandmoreclearlywhatmanyprosthoughtthewholeworld somethingtheyhaveto.Cometothegym,laughingandpobryuzzhatforacouplehours,andthenplungeintothecomfortof theirhomesortogoshopping,orjustagolfclub...Afterthegoodresultstheywerebathedinglory.Whenthegamedoes notgowell,theyblameothersinthis.Thisannoyedme.Iamconfidentthatmyrelativelylatearrivalinprofessionalsports hasbecomeamajorfactorinshapingmyattitudetoBrianCloughandeventheentirefootballteam.Iwasobsessedwiththe greatdesirethanothers,butnotmorethanStuartPearce.ThemoreIwatchedPierce,themoreIwasstruckbyhis professionalism.Playerscomplainedaboutit."Fuckyou,Pierce"-theygroanedwhenherequiredthemtogreaterefforts- whetherintrainingorinthegame.Theywhisperedamongthemselvesthathewas"stingybastard"withabunchofmoney(it was!).Sowhat?Wepaidforthework,andStuartPearceledothersbyexample.Heneverdemandedthattowhichhewas notready. IdeeplyrespectedforhisknowledgeofCloughinthegame.Hemayhaveeverydaymoreandmorerarelyappearedin training,butduringthematchhispresenceandhiskeeneyeradicallychangedthesituation.Ifyoudonotfullyperformits

task,Cloughisnoticed.Atfirstglance,aharmlesserror,whichledtoamissedgoalafterthreeorfourminuteslater,an unsuccessfulattemptofselection,thelackofbreakthroughattherighttimeorpassthemwillberightlyidentifiedasthe causeofagoal.Anddonotskipontheotherfinger,whichwassecondnaturetomostplayers.Heknewit,andyouknewhe knew. Everyfootballmatchconsistsofthousandsofdetailsthattogetherdeterminetheoutcome.Acoachwhocannotnoticethese details,asdidCloughinhisclinicalway,justbluffing.Thegameisfullofthosewhoareengagedinabluff,whoknowsonly thatshout,"Rollupyoursleeves,""Tuneintothegameproperly,'andtalkaboutwhatyoushouldbeproudtowearthisshirt. Thecoach,whoconstantlyusesthecliche-andtherearemany-donotknowthemostimportantthing.BrianClough noticessmalldetails,facts,mikroepizodyandmakesallthecorrectconclusions. Cloughhasbeenitsapproachtootherthings.Once,whenhewasnotintraining,aidesgotthegoodsthatwehaveworked withhim.AfterhalfanhourlessonsemergedDell,dogtrainer,forwhichhewas,asusual,dressedinhisjacket,greensweat suitandhighboots."Whatisthiscrap?"-AskedCloughLiamO`Kane,pointingtotheload.Liamdidnothavetimetoopen hismouth,asCloughordered:"Takeitawayandremovetheballs."Thiswashisstrength.And,asIthinkweakness,asthe gamehasevolvedwhilewewerepreparingtoenterthepremierleague.Alas,aswithMargaretThatcher,whomhedespised Clough,hisdaysaregone.  AroundthattimeInoticedabeautifulgirlintownnightclub.HernamewasTeresaDoyle.Itriedtopleaseher,butshedidnot seemtonotice.ShehadaseriousromancewithaguyandagreatfootballerRoyKeanedidnotmakeheranyimpression.I thinkthatIthenhadthereputationofaloser,thoughIcouldnotreallyexplainwhy.Iknewoneofherfriends,whotoldme thatTeresawasthedaughterofadentistassistant.Eventuallyshebrokeuphisrelationshipwithanotherguy,andwebegan toleavethecommunitytogether.Iwasinlove.Webecameclosefriends.Theresa,despitethefactthatIwasbornin Nottingham,hadIrishroots.Herparents,BrayandLusk,camefromCountyDublin. Weplayfullystartedanewchampionship,beating"Liverpool"1-0inamatch,firstbroadcastonSkyTelevision.Goalathis ownexpenserecordedTeddySheringham.Thenbegananightmareofaseriesofsixdefeats.Alas,theSheringhamin Septembercamein,"Tottenham". InOctober,weclosedthetournament,concedingtwenty-twogoalsintenmatches."Forest"isindeepcrisis. Inthesechallengingtimes,mypositionismorecomplicated.Newspapersbegantowonderwhatthetopclubsgoingoutof metoget.Mention"Blackburn","Arsenal","AstonVilla"and"Liverpool".Thepresswrotethattheclubsarereadytobeat Englandtransferrecordtosignacontractwithme. Ifthe"Forest"willtakeofffromthePremierLeagueandwassaidbymany,BrianCloughwillleavetheclub,whatwill becomeofme?Ihadacontractandpay700poundsaweek,whichwasmuchlessthanotherplayers.Priortocompletionof thecontractremainedahalfyears.  AroundthesametimecalledmefriendKennyDalglish,andsaidthattheheadcoach,"Blackburn"Iwouldliketomeetwith me.AlanShearerhasjustrefusedtogotothe"ManchesterUnited"fromthe"Southampton"byselecting"Blackburn",whose desiretowinthePremierLeaguewassponsoredbyJackWalker.InthehouseofDavidO`Learywasscheduledtomeet withDalglishandhisassistantinthe"Blackburn"RayHartford.Iwasaskedaboutthesituationwithmycontractinthe "Forest".WhenIsaidthatIwasofferedanewcontract,theybegantopersuadehimnottosign.AndifIsignadeal,itwas necessarytoincludeaparagraphthatwouldpermitmetoleavethe"Forest"intheeventofrelegationfromthePremier League.Ihavemadeitclearthat"Blackburn"wasreadytosettransferrecordinEnglishfootballinthe3.5millionpounds. Iknewthatthesesecretnegotiationswereagainsttherules,butsuchtransactionsaretakenplace. ThenewspaperswrotethatIdemandedonemillionpoundsoverthreeyearsinthe"Forest".Aboutthewayitwas.Kenny Dalglishindirectlyconveyedthatmysalaryisinthe"Blackburn"willbe250000poundsayear,and500000Igetwhen signingthecontract. InpersonandIgetalongBrianCloughwitheachother,despitehisharshwordsaddressedtomeinthepress."Keane-like achildwakinguponChristmasmorninganddiscoveredtheapple,orangeandsweetinasock.Hewantsmore-Clough saidinalocalnewspaper.-He'saverytalentedyoungman.Hewaseverythingcomeseasy,andinfootballheisloved everything,especiallytheplayers,"Forest".Keaneiscurrentlythemostattractivepropertyinthegame,butitwouldbankrupt theclub.Wemadehimanoffer.Hehashisthoughtsonthematter,butitbelongstouseighteenmonths,andatpresent negotiationsarefrozen.Idonotwanttoknowaboutthestupidtermsofthecontractandthathewoulddo,ifwetakeoff.I wouldlikehimtosignareasonablecontractthatourbudgetcanafford." StuartPearce,whosedevotiontotheclubandtheauthoritywasindisputable,hecametomyaidafteramorningworkout.He wenttoalltheplayers,askingthemthesamequestion:"Areyouhappywithyourcontract?".Onebyonetheplayersgavea positiveresponse.Piercethenshouted:"Ifyou'rehappy,thenleaveRoyalone.Hehastherighttogetmore."Iwasvery gratefultoPierce. MytalkswithRonFentonkeptsecretfromthepresscontinued.HedidnotarguewithmyargumentsthatIwasworth, "Forest"of47000,andnowtheclubcouldsellmemorethanthreemillion.Healsoadmittedthatmysalaryis700poundsa weekwasoneofthelowestamongfirst-teamplayers.Stilltwostumblingblocks:pointonwhichIcouldescapefromthe "Forest"intheeventofhisdeparturefromthePremierLeague,andmycallto125000uponsigningthecontract. DuringthenextnegotiationBrianCloughenteredtheofficeofRonFenton.Heaskedmehowthingsaremoving.Rontold himaboutourdisagreements.Withouthesitation,Cloughsaid:"Ron,giveRoythatheasks."Halfanhourlateracontract wasprepared.Iwashappytosignanagreementforaperiodofthreeandahalfyears,althoughthesouldoesnotthinkI couldplayitthrough. WiththeadventofSkyTelevisionandthecreationofthePremierLeaguefootballerswagesgrewatanastronomical progression.TearsofGazzainItaly-90didfootballfashion.Thegamebegantopayattentionand,ofcourse,tous,the players. Thecontinuedexistenceof"Forest"inthePremierLeaguenowdependedonthelasttwogames.Thedefeatinthehome matchagainst"SheffieldUnited"orlossonthefield,"Ipswich"meantpartingwiththeleague.Thefactthatmycontract allowedmetoleavetheclubifhisdepartureisinnowayaffectedbymyzealanddesireto"Forest"hasremainedinthe

PremierLeague.Onthecontrary.Someoneattheclubtoldthepressabouttheconditionsofmycontract.Thisledtowhat somehavecometodoubtmydedicationtothestruggleforsurvival.Therefore,inthelasttwogamesIhadtoprove otherwise. Duringourpreparationforthemeetingwith"SheffieldUnited"BrianCloughannouncedthathewasresigningattheendof theseason. "SheffieldUnited"beatus2-0.Awareofthepriceofdefeat,manyofourplayerstoplayasiffrozen. Withaselectionofplayers,intheoryweshouldnothavetotakeoff.However,theenergyandfaithinthecoachinggeniusof BrianCloughlefttheclubinexplicably.  AfewminutesaftertakingofffromthePremierLeague,someplayers,prayingintheshower,alreadyexchangedjokes.I couldnotbelievemyeyesandears.Theircareerwasrollingdownhill,andtheythought,inwhichrestauranttogotothem!I havemixedfeelingsofguiltandpain.FrankClark,whoreplacedBrianCloughatthepostcoach,"Forest",said:"Itisthanks toitsprofessionalismRoyKeanehasmadeeveryefforttoleavethe"Forest"inthePremierLeague."Hewaswrong.Ididit onlyforself-preservation.  Afewweekslaterthefans,"Forest"Iwaschosenbestplayeroftheseason-inthepasttwoyears,thishonorhasbeen awardedStuartPearce.Iwasgladthatthefans,"Forest"haveunderstoodthat,notwithstandingtheconditionsofmy contract,mydedicationtothestruggleforsurvivalwastotal. Duringtheheavyseason,Ilearnedanotherlesson:Footballshouldnotbeanyoneandanything.Noonecouldbelievethat theteamisBrianCloughcouldcrash.Now,evensuchatalentedplayerlikeStuartPearce,wasbelowthePremierLeague. Wasthefootballinsuchacase,abrutalgame?Itmaybeso,ifyouloseyourguard,reduceyourlevelofatleastfivepercent andwillstarttothinkyou're"toogoodtofly."Inourteam,"Forrest"wasnotlackingintalent.However,sheflewoutofthe PremierLeague. IfIwantedtogotothe"Blackburn"?KennyDalglishwasamillionaireJackWalker'smoney,butthe"Blackburn"was relativelymodestclub.Theysaidthatotherclubssuchas"Arsenal"and"Liverpool",alsoshowedinterestinme.Nowwith thedepartureofBrianClough,Iwasevenmoredeterminedtobringtoeffecttheconditionofmycontract,whichallowedme toleavetheclub.Iwasattackedfromallsidesagents,butIresistedthem,thoughIknewthatIwouldneedhelpin negotiationswiththe"Blackburn",oranotherclubthatwantsmetobuy. DavidO'LearywasoneoftheleadingplayersinRepublicofIreland.HebecameavictimofphilosophyCharlton"hit-and-run" inwhichhigh-tsentrhavyconsidereddangerousoverkill.HisviewofCharltonlargelycoincidedwithmy:onthiscoachcould onlylaugh.OneeveningIaskedDavid,whorepresentsitsinterests.HerepliedthathiscasebesolvedbyMichaelKennedy, attorneyforpropertymattersinLondon.DavidwouldbehappytointroducemetoMichael,ifIsochoose. Inaddition,IalsoappealedtotheProfessionalFootballers'Associationwitharequesttorepresentmyinterestsinfuture dealings.Concernedbythegrowinginfluenceoftheprivateagents,theAssociationannouncedthatitisreadytoassist playersintransfernegotiations.  Agentsdeterredme,notonlythoseamountsthattheyrequestedfortheirservices.JudgingbywhatIsaw,theplayers footballcareerwasnotfortheagentsinthefirstplace.Themoreoftentheplayermovesfromclubtoclub,themoremoney earnedhisrepresentative.Footballernotdecidehisfuture,butstillwanttoseethatintheirranksafewclubs,itseemsto agentsapotentialsourceofincome.Rumorsaboutthetransitions,fueledbyagentsandswallowstheSundaypapers,is verydifficulttocarrysuchplayers.Inthesegamestheplayersweremerepawnswhoareeagertoroastannoyingfactsof thenewspaperandgreedybrokers.StronglyopposedtothefactthatImanipulated,IturnedtotheAssociation.Another optionwasMichaelKennedy. FrankClarkwasappointedinplaceofBrianClough.Clarkusedtoplayfor'Forest'andwasconsideredcompetentinmany cases.UponarrivaloftheRepublicofIreland,ImetwithClarkandassuredhimthat,notwithstandingtheconditionsofmy contract,IwillbefullycommittedtotheclubuntilIwasinit.Clarksaidthatheunderstandsmyposition.Beingsparingof words,however,hemadeitclearthatifanyPremiershipclubwantsmetopayfortherequiredamount,"Forest"willnot standinmyway.Weunderstoodeachother.Nowit'sup,"Blackburn." KennyDalglishdidnotwait.Afterabriefbiddingpartiesagreedonthesumof4millionpounds.Iwasallowedtobegintalks withthe"Blackburn".ThetalkshelpedmeBrendenBatsonoftheAssociation.Underthecontractwiththe"Forest"afterthe transitionIwaspaidthesumof600thousand.Themainissuediscussedwiththe"Blackburn"hasbecomemysalary. IheardthatAlanShearerreceived500thousandayear,soIdemandedthesame.Afterdiscussingthisissue,Iagreedto 400thousandayear.ThedealwasmadeonFridayevening.Dalglishwasamajorfigureinfootball.Greatplayer,whoatone timealsosuccessfullycoachedthe"Liverpool".JackWalkergavetheordertoDalglishyourcheckbookforbuildingateam capableoffightingforthechampionshipinthepremierleague.DalglishhasassuredmethatifIsignacontractwithaclub,a seriesvolyusteam,whichaffordavarietyofprizes.Hisintelligenceandcalmnaturemadeindelibleimpressiononme.  AftertheagreementofalltheconditionsIwaswillingtosignacontract.ButwhenDalglishcalledthe"EwoodPark"(the stadium,"Blackburn."-VS),therewasnotoneofleadership-aworkingdayisover."Donotworry-hesaid.-Youcansign thepapersonMonday."Weshookhands. IwenttoCorkfortheweekend.OnSaturday,thenewsofmytransferin'Blackburn'appearedinthenewspapers.Transfer paymentshavebrokentheBritishrecord.LifechangeddramaticallysinceIlefthome.But,fortunately,myfamilyandfriends remainedfaithfultome.Iwasverypleasedthattheyhavenotchangedinthisregard. WithDenisJohnson,wewenttotownonSaturdaynighttocelebratemytransition.Westartedwith"Templikra",before headingtothecenterwherethenightfinishedtheadventuresof"Saydtreks." OnSundayIwokeup,sufferingfromahangover.ThenextdayIhadtogotothe"Blackburn"tosignpapers.Afterthat,Iwas determinedtoleave.  Atdinnerthephonerang.Patpickedupthephone.AttheotherendwasAlexFerguson.Myfamilypassionatelyrootingfor "ManchesterUnited"."Roy,it'sAlexFerguson.Youhavealreadysignedthecontract?"."No,butweshookhandsandIhave tosignthepaperstomorrow." "WhydonotyoucometoManchestertotalktomefirst?".

Wow!"ManchesterUnited".ChampionofthePremierLeague.Mymom,dadandbrotherswerestandinginthehalland lookedatme.Itseemsthattheyhadastroke. "Yes,butIhadalreadyagreed"-IsaidFerguson. "Youdonotsign.Comeandtalk."  AtthispointIdonotwanttosignanycontractwithotherclubs.Deepdown,IrealizedthatIcouldnotrefusetocontractwith themostfamousclubintheworld.ButthereasonIknewthatIdidnotneedtolosemyhead. Thenextmorning,afteryetanotherstormynightinthecity,IflewtoManchester.SirAlexFergusonmetmeattheairport. Wearrivedathishouse,whichwaslocatednearby.TherewasBrianKidd.AfterlunchandchatteraboutanythingFerguson suggestedtoplaysnooker(akindofbilliards.-VS).Hewasagoodplayer,andalthoughIdidnotdepartfromit,thoughtit wouldbewisetoplayhim. Iimmediatelylikedit.Forthecoach,"ManchesterUnited"wastooeasytocommunicate,asenseofhumorandhadawhole setofpositivehumanqualities.Itwasclearthathewantedatrophytohiscollectionevenmoreprizes. "Roy,"ManchesterUnited",withyouorwithoutyou,willbethestrongestclubinEngland.Withyouwecansucceedin Europe",-hesaid.Itwasastrongargument. Heaskedmeaboutmyrepresentatives.ItoldtheAssociationofProfessionalFootballers.Fergusonsuggestedthatwedo notdiscussdetailsoftheforthcomingtransaction."Leaveittome"-heinsisted.Wecametoanagreement,underwhichI wouldhavetosayDalglishtocancelthecontract.AfterthatIwasinstructedtowaitposition,whilethe"United"isintalkswith "Forest".Itwillnotbesoeasy,saysFerguson,butheassuredmethateventuallywewillreachmutualgoals. IcalledKennyDalglishtotellhimthathechangedhismindtogo,"Blackburn."Hecameoutfurious. "Whatthehelldoesitallmean?" ItoldhimaboutmyconversationwithFerguson. "Weshookhands.Nowyoucannotretreat!"-Hecried. "Waitaminute.I'mverysorry,very,-Ibroughthimtoapologize.-ButIneedtothinkabouthisfuture.Ihavethisright." "Youhavenorighttoanything,excepttofulfillhispromisethatyougavemeonFriday." "I'msorry,butifyouhavepreparedapaperontime,IwouldhavesignedthemonFriday." "Noonewilldaretobehavethiswaywithme.NoonedarestoactlikeKennyDalglish.You-youbastard,youanditjustwill notgetawaywithit"-Kennyhasnotbeensocalm. Ifeltatease.ButIhavealreadygainedexperienceinmyshortcareer,toknowthatallpartiesarerarelywillingtoabideby theagreement.Playersblewtrainers,coachesblewtheplayers,they,inturn,liedtomanagement.Agentsdespisedfortheir nosy,butclubswereonlytoohappytodealwiththem.AndKennyDalglishwillstillrequirethatIcomplywiththecontract, whichdidnotsign!ThesameKennyDalglish,whoafewmonthsagoledmesecretnegotiationsbehindthebacksofBrian Clough.Themoreheattackedmewithhisangrytirades,thelessIwastormentedbyconscience. ThenextcallwasfromFrankClark.Clarkwassupposedtoshowpeoplethatdoeseverythingtokeepmeintheclub,buthe knewthatIwillgoanyway,andnowhehadtolearnto"Forest"asmuchaspossiblebenefit."What'sgoingon,Roy?-He began.-IjustcalledKennyDalglish.Hesaysthatyouchangeyourmind." IconfirmedthatafterdiscussionswithAlexFerguson,Ichangedmymind.FergusonalsocalledClark.Incontrasttothe "Blackburn",whowaswillingtopay4millionpounds,"ManchesterUnited"wasgoingtogivemealittlemorethan3million pounds.Forthe"Forest"wasunacceptable,saidClark.SohewantedmetosignadealwithDalglishintheinterestof "Forest".IexplainedthatImustdowhatisintheinterestofmycareer. ThisdisputeissomewhatspoiledmyrelationshipwithClark.Hemadeitclearthatthe"United"Therewillbenodealifthe clubdoesnotofferasmuchand"Blackburn."Iinsistedthathewouldliketomoveitinthe"United".Stalemate. IwasgoingtovacationwithTonyLaflanom,GaryRaymondBoyerandBurne-threeyoungplayerswhoIplayedforthe "Forest",thenextday.WeweregoingtosoakuptheCyprussunshine.Onceagain,ItalkedwithAlexFerguson.Heassured methatthechoiceisuptome.Ihavetodecideforwhichclubtoplay.IfI'mnotgoingtorush,theneventuallyallcomeoff. ButdonotrushformewouldmeanthatnextseasonIwillstartaT-shirt"Forest".IdecidedtorelyonFerguson.Togoon vacationandnotthinkaboutnothing. Thenextmorningat6:30thephonerang.IthoughtsomethinghadhappenedathomeinCork.ItwasKennyDalglish. "Youdonotgetawaywithit-hebegan.-"BlackburnRovers"shookyoutocourtandsueyoueverypenny!".Betweenhim andAlexFergusonwillneverhavenormalrelationships,andit'slikenothingelse,hewasirritated.Hebegantocallme.He againandagainthatnoonecan"fuck"andKennyDalglishemergeunscathed.ItoldhimthatIwasgoingtoleaveandthat thecaseisclosed. "Whereareyougoing?"-Heasked. "Faraway,wherethesunshines"-followedbymyresponse. "Weshallfindyouandfilealawsuit,"-hesaid.Buthewasnotabletofindme. WhenIreturnedtothepre-seasontrainingatthe"Forest",FrankClarkwasdetermined.Ihadtotrainreservists,andthey gavemetounderstandthatIwillbepunishedforthe"crime",whichconsistsofrefusingtogotothe"Blackburn".Clark declaredmepersonanongrata.Fergusonadvisedmenottoloseself-control."United"and"Forest"playedpoker.The sentence"United"in3.5millionpoundswashalfamillionlessthanwhattheproposed"Blackburn."IfIcontinuetosuffer,the "Forest"willbefacedwithadilemma:3.5millionpounds,oraworthlessasset,exercisingwithdouble. ForthreeseasonsIspent154gamesinthe"Forest",scoredthirty-threegoals,playingmidfieldposition.Icosttheclub£ 47,000.Helightsthenetprofitofthreemillion.Weretheirrepresentativesareglad?No.Intheirworld,theplayerswere humanmaterialtobeboughtandsoldlikecattle.Thinkofhimselforitselfdecidetocontinuehiscareerasacrime. NewspapersinnauskivaniyuClark,nowwriteaboutmeasa"rebelliousRoe."Forcoaches,managersandjournalistswere intheorderofthingstochoosetheirowncareeronthesoul.Footballplayersweresupposedtodothatonanothersoul.If youstandonhisown,your"game"isoutrageous. Inthesecondweekpre-seasonnerves"Forest"passed.Theclubacceptedtheofferof"ManchesterUnited"in3.75million pounds.NowIneededtonegotiatepersonaltermsofthecontractwiththe"United".Hisproposal

250thousandpoundsayearwas150thousandless,"Blackburn."BrendenBatson,oftheAssociationcouldnotsqueeze moreoutof"United".Ithoughtthatthedifferenceinmoneytoopalpable.RememberingtheconversationwithDavidO'Leary, IcalledMichaelKennedy. MichaelflewintoManchesterfortalkswithMartinEdwards.Hewasabletogetthe"United"toincreasethesalariesof350 thousandayear. Ilovedthe"OldTrafford"fromthemomenthesteppedontothelawn. IV Thecostofmytransferwasthereasonforanumberofarticlesinthepress.Now3.75millionfeet-apittance.In1993,itwas ahugeamount.Evenfor"ManchesterUnited",thenewchampionofthePremierLeague. IrealizedthatIwasthemostexpensiveplayerinBritain,butI'mnotfromthisdizzy.Iwasconvincedthatonlyadd,byplaying withbetterplayers.Adayaftersigningthecontractweweresupposedtoflyataten-daypre-seasontourofSouthAfrica.I suggestedtoAlexFerguson,soIstayedtoworkonhis"physics".Butheinsistedonmytripwiththeteam.Practicingonly withstand-ins"Forest",andsometimesalone,Ifeltthatflawed. "Donotworry-heassuredmeFerguson-trainingandmatcheswillgiveyoutherighttone,andthetripwillgettoknow guys." LookingaroundonthebusonthewaytotheairportinManchester,Iwasstruckbythematurityandconfidenceofthe players,"United".The"Forest"StuartPearcewasamanamongboys.Herewasateamofrealmen:BryanRobson,Eric Cantona,SteveBruce,GaryPallister,PaulInce,PeterSchmeichel,BrianMakkleer,DenisIrwinandMarkHughes.Allhad thecharismaandprofessionalapproachtobusiness.Strongpersonality,exudingconfidence.Amongthem,Ifeltlikeakid. Yes,Iwasakid-to22-thanniversaryIstayedacoupleofweeks.Ididnotforgetthatthefirsttaskisgettingintothemain part. Iwasalsoamazedandaconstantbuzzwherevertheyappear,"United".Leavingtheairportthatmorning,Irealizedwhatit meanstobeaplayer,"ManchesterUnited".Onweekdays,the"OldTrafford"turnedintoabeehive.Peoplequeueupfor ticketsforthenextmatch.Inthesouvenirshopssellingcrowdsofpeople.Touristsphotographedagainstthebackdropofa hugestadium.Peoplecamefromallovertheworld.AmongthemwereIrish,Chinese,Americans,Londoners,men,women, oldandyoung.Manyofthemwerejuststandingnearthestadium,lookingatthememorialclockinmemoryofMunich.Ialso staredinalldirections!Thisplacewasgreat.Hoursremindthosewhoarebelowthem,aboutaplanecrashinMunichthat killedeightyoungplayersofthelegendaryMattBusby'steam.AsIsoonrealizedthateventhegreatestplayersandthe inveterateprofessionalhistoryoftheclubcannotbeindifferent.Footballerofthe"ManchesterUnited"alwaysfeelsthe responsibilitythatlayuponhimthetraditionsoftheclub.  AtManchesterAirport,peoplegatheredtoseeourlandanaircraft.WhenwearrivedinJohannesburg,wewaitedafew hundredfansandtwotelevisioncrews.Inourhotel,theairwasheavywithexcitementandhotelworkers,andthosewholive there,immediatelythrewhisbusinesstogawkatthefamousplayers,"ManchesterUnited".Caughtinsuchanatmosphere,I feltlikeinthemovies.Lights,actionstar.And,ofcourse,extras.Iplayedtheroleoftacitcharacterandwastotallyimmersed init."ManchesterUnited"wascertainlymorethanafootballclub. SinceIwasfamiliarwithDenisIrwinongamesintheRepublicofIreland,Istayedwithhiminthesameroom.Hewasfrom Cork,whileinanotherdistrict.Bothofuswerenotmuchtotalkandgetalongverywell. I'venevertrainedsohard.BrianKiddspenttraining.Hewasagreatfootballer,whoin1968togetherwiththeteamwinning theEuropeanCup.Playersrespectedhimandlovedhim.HewasanativeofManchester,havingagoodsenseofhumor andgoodcharacter.Tohimitwasalwayspossibleappealonaquestion.Thetrainingwasinterestingandvarieddaybyday. Wealwaysfeltthefocus,andbilateralgamesanddailyexercisesallhadameaning.Thisismuchdifferentfromtheaimless hoursspentonthetrainingfieldinthe"Forest". Sincetheteamwasalotofstrongpersonalities,itisnotsurprisingthatalmosteverythingwedo,feltthesharppointof competition.Weapproachedthegameseriously"fivebyfive"attheendofyourworkout.Often,theystartedsluggishly,but soontheplayersweretakeninwhatwedoinallseriousness.Thereasonforthewarcouldbeatoughgameintheselection.  Afterthat,someonealwaysinflamed,andBrianKidduhadtointervene.Iranwithallhismight,tryingtocatchuptothe amazinglytalentedplayerswhowerearoundme.EricCantonawasgreat.LikeRyanGiggs.Ryanwastwoyearsyounger thanme,butinthesenseofmasteryandmaturity,hewouldgivemeaheadstartonafewlightyearsahead.Hewasa strongpersonality,funnyandprovocative,endowedwithextraordinarytalent,whichisusedtothefullest,tolaughatothers whileexercising.  AlthoughIfeltalittletimidandabitscaredofmyteammatesskilllevel,Ilikedtheatmosphereintheteam.Iunderstandwhy the"United"waswearingthechampionship:theteamconsistedofgreatplayers,trainingwasatahighlevel,butSirAlex Fergusonwithhispresenceinspiredconfidenceandinspiration,BrianKiddfootballknowledgeandhishumor,whichhelped everyoneinadifficultmoment,andwellnotthelast,Ithink,afactor-theywereallhappytoplayforthisteam. Whiningheredoesnotgoaway.Demoralizationanddepression,whichwerefeltinthelockerroom,"Forest",thecomplaints andgroans,andallthistalkoflosersin"theCityGround,"whichsuckedoutofyouthelastremnantsofthespirit,completely absentfromthe"OldTrafford".WhatcouldIcomplain?Footballplayersbelievedthattheyareplayingforthebestclubinthe world.FergusonandKiddwasrespected,buttheirpowerisnotquestioned.BryanRobsonwasthecaptainandenjoyedthe prestige. RobsonandSteveBrucehavehelpedmesettleintotheteamandfeelpartofitduringthepreseasontour.Formeitwas importantforseveralreasons,nottheleastofthemwasthefactthat,likemanyotherplayers,Ioncetriedtoaddextra speed,playingagainstthe"ManchesterUnited".Inmycasethismeantatoughergameintheselection.MorethanonceI cameintoskirmisheswithRobson,GaryPallisterandPaulInce.IhavenotforgottenandclashwithPeterSchmeichel.But evilonme,noonehid.Ididnotknowyet,afterwinningthechampionshipFergusonconsultedwiththeleadingplayersofthe newacquisitionsintheoffseason.Manyofthemsupportedthecoach,whenheshowedinterestinme.

 Afterworkingintrainingandacoupleoffriendliesit'stimetorelax.Andthesepeopleknewhowtorelax.LedbyRobson,we spentacoupleofunforgettable"gigs"inSouthAfrica.Wedonothidefromanyone.FergusonandKidddidnotseeanything wronginthatplayerswillmissaglassortwo. PlayingintheCupseasonwith"Arsenal"to"Wembley"wasmyfirstofficialmatchinthe"ManchesterUnited".AsBryan Robsonwasnotfullyreadytoplay,I'mpairedwithPaulInceinchargeofthemiddlelineandwantedtoprovehimselfandhis powertodismissanyquestionsaboutmylineprice3.75millionpoundsasquicklyaspossible.Also,IrealizedthatI,Brian RobsonandPaulInsuawillfightfortwoplacesinmidfield. Rivalfoughtforeveryballineveryareaofthefield.Everythinghadtogetthroughhardwork.Attheendofthematchwe haveearnedadrawandwon1-1onpenalties.Iplayedatanormallevel,butIunderstoodthat"normal"willnotwork.Hard workandgoalstobemyfirstpriority.Iknewthatcopewithhardwork,afterwhichIwashopingtofollowgoals. InthefirstmatchofthenewseasonofthePremierLeaguewehaveplayedawayfromthe"Norwich".RyanGiggsandBryan Robsonscoredagoalandwescoredaneasywin2-0.Ialsomadeacontributiontothevictory,havingsuppliedtheballfrom Giggsflank,afterwhichheopenedtheaccount.ThreedayslaterIplayedmyfirstmatchat"OldTrafford"T-shirt"MJ".On theTuesdayeveningatmosphereinthestadiumwasgreat.Iusedtoplayon"OldTrafford",butforthefans,Iwasa stranger.NowI'mplayingforthem.Ouropponentwas"SheffieldUnited". Iwaschargedforthematch,Ifeltinflatedandfullyconcentratedonthegame.EricCantonawasinjured,soBryanRobson, PaulInceandIplayedinmidfield.AndreiKanchelskisandRyanGiggsplayedinfrontoftheflanks,andtospearheadacted MarkHughes.RobsonandInceinchargeofthemiddleline,soIwasaskedtocometothefore.Therearedayswhenyouall get,andthisdaywasformejustlikethat.Iscoredmyfirstgoalforthe"United",whendaredtorushforwardtotheball,which bouncedofftheheadofRyanGiggs.Ijustcalculatedthetimetoleapandeasilysenttheballintothegoal. Sometimes,heavenhelpyou.Onthisdebutcouldonlydreamof.Torealizethisgoalrequiresabreakthroughinaccurately calculatedtimeandgoodluck.Youcanmakeleapsoffiftytimesandnevergettheball.Ormiss. Rock,whoIbelievewasintheeveningonmyside.Iscoredthesecondgoal,whileMarkHughessetthefinalscore-3-0. Sincethatmatch,theburdenofthemostexpensiveplayerhasbeentoleratedmoreeasily.Soontheissuealtogetherceased toexist. Weconductedaseriesoffirstsixmatchesofthechampionshipwithoutdefeat,ofwhichcelebratedthevictoryinfive meetingssofarnotyielded"Chelsea"withascoreof0-1.StartthePremierLeagueturnedouttobesuccessful,butafter playingwith"Chelsea"WehadtomatchEuropeanCuponWednesday.OuropponentwasHungarianchampion"Honvéd," andweranthefirstleginBudapest.Iscoredtwogoals,EricCantonaaddedanother,andwewon3-2."Honvéd"wasnot verystrongteam,butvictoryisavictory,especiallytheguest. BryanRobsonwassufferingfromasuccessionofinjuriesunbroken,sothefirstgamesoftheseason,Ioftengetupinthe middleline,alongwithPaulInce.Wearesimilarinmanyways-havewonthemajorityofmartialarts,beinginthesame termswithhisrival,anddidnotshirkfromthefight,ifsomeoneofferedus.Mostoftheteamswelostbeforetheplayersas theyleftthelockerroom.Andnotjuston"OldTrafford",butalsoontheirstadium.Aura"ManchesterUnited"wasvery powerful,andthepreponderanceofforcesinthefieldalsowasinourfavor. Inourfirstsevenmatchesofthatseasonweonlyconcededfourgoals.PeterSchmeichelreignedsupremeinthepenalty area.SteveBruce,GaryPallisterandnotletopponentsdescent.PaulParker,DenisIrwincoulddefendthemselves,and begintheattack.I,InceandRobsondidnotintendtogiveinthemiddleofthefield.Andinattackwehadthespeedof forwardsinthefaceofGiggsandKanchelskis.MarkHugheshandledtheballsuperblyandiseasytohitthetarget.Eric Cantonahimselfcompletingthisfullammunition. Cantonacametotheteaminthemiddleoflastseasonwhen,aftertwenty-sixyearswithoutachampionship,"Manchester United"foughtdesperatelyforavictoryinthePremierLeague.Hedidhiswork,calmingtheirpresenceintheimportant matchesandscoredninegoalstohelpAlexFergusontowinhisfirsttitle."United,"Cantonawasalmostfornothing-1.2 millionpoundswhenhefelloutwithHowardWilkinsonin'Leeds'.Heplayedformanyclubs,butnowherecouldnotstayfor long.Nowhehasfoundanewhome.Butevenherehecouldnotcalmdownanddoeverythingtheirownway,showingthat hedoesnotcareatall. IwasinterestedtolearnmoreaboutEric,whenIcameto"United".Onamysteriouspersonsayingallcantons,especially afterthe"United"wonthechampionship.Iimmediatelylikedit.Yes,itdifferedfromtheothers.Hetriedtodohisexercisesin training,thatallowedhimtoAlexFergusonandBrianKidd.Hewasengagedinhisownwarm-up,andaftertheGames'five byfive"remainedtohonetheirskillsintakingopponents'goal.HeandPeterSchmeichelhaddislikeforeachother.Acouple oftimesinthecoursewereclenched. Forthemysticalmaskhidingatrueprofessional,veryseriousabouthisfootball,whichhasextensiveknowledgeaboutthe game.Witharaisedcollar,upstandingandprotrudingchest,herushedonthefieldasifitbelongedonlytothedamnplace him.Anyfield,butespecially"OldTrafford".Thiswashisscene.Helovedher,andthefansadoredhim. Players,too,lovedit,anditwasalotofreasons,mostimportantofwhichwasthathewasdoinghisjob.Itsbiteinthefinal stageofattackwasfatal.Hedoesnotalwayscamebackwhenwewerefightingfortheball.Weoftenscoldedhimforit.Of course,wearemorethanyouneed,ranandworkedoutforhim.Butsoon,whentherecamealmostdespair-thathe immediatelyhanded-Ericmagicallyunfoldedthegameat180degreesintherightdirectionforus.Heusedpolushans-and bam-theballinthenet!I'veneverseensomeonescoredsuchgoals(andstilldonotseeit).Onthefield,Erichasplayeda role.Yes,itwasnotliketheothers,butitwasfuckinggreat.Andnotjustwhenscoringwinninggoals.Youcouldotpasovat himtheballinanysituation,andhecouldkeephim-hewasunusuallystrong-andthenjustreturntheballtoyou.He scoredasmanyassistsdid. Outsidethefield,Ericalsoplayedtheirroleperfectly.I'mnotsurprisedthathewasactinginmovies.Theaudienceattributed histemperamentaldivaproperties,butinrealityitwasonlyoneofus.Tostrangershealwayssetataveilofmystery-itwas hisgame,especiallywiththepress.InresponsetoquestionsfromfansandjournalistsEricshruggedhisshouldersand pretendedtounderstandnothing.

HeiswellspokeninEnglish.Hisknowledgeoflanguageswasimpressive,especiallywhenitcomestoexpletives.Withus hewasgayandlikedtodrinkmorechampagnethanthe"Heineken",andwassociablefriend.Ericwasagreatguy,oneof thebest-healwaysspokefrankly,bluntly.Hismaskwasthebehaviorofaneccentricandlonelyyoungman.Andassuchit wouldseeminpart. BytheendofOctoberweconfidentlyheadedbythePremierLeague.ButIdidnotlikemygame.Onereasonforthiswas stretchinghamstringjoint,whichconstantlytormentedme.Iwasalwayswillingtoplaythroughpainforselfishreasons: becauseoftheinjuryIdidnotwanttoloseyourplaceinanyteam. The"United"Suchthoughtsareespeciallytimely.I'mstillfightingforaplaceattheheartofBryanRobsonandPaulInce.  AfterthreemonthsIwascertainonlythatourteamwasgoodbutcouldbeevenbetter.Iwasnottheonlyfootballertorealize thatthejuniorclubteamthatwontheYouthCupin1992and1993,thereareseveralplayerswhowillsoonbehardtobreak intothefirstteam.Youngplayers,includingGaryandPhilNeville,DavidBeckham,NickyButtandPaulScholes,already becomeknown,andeverywheretheysaid.Timewillprovethattheseconversationswerenotidle. SirAlexFergusonmadeitclearthatsigningacontractwithmethatsuccessinEuropeisaprimaryobjectivefortheclub. Europehasbeenasourceoftriumphandtragedyforthe"United".HebecamethefirstEnglishclubtookpartinthe ChampionsCup,despiteresistancefromthefootballassociation.SirMattBusby'srealizedhisdreamin1968whenthe "ManchesterUnited"wontheChampionsCup.ButaplanecrashinMunichin1958,whichkilledeightplayers,"United",has leftanindeliblemarkinclubhistory.UEFAclubcompetitionmatchesfor"OldTrafford"hasalwayshadanemotional connotation. WhenwemetwiththeTurkishchampion"Galatasaray"inthesecondroundoftheChampionsCup,nooneatthispointhad notthoughtaboutthismagnificentstarttothePremierLeague.Forus,thesegameshavebecomearealchallenge.Welost asaresultoftwomeetings.Sweepof2:0foritsstadium,wemissedthreegoals.Thegameendedinadraw-3:3,andthe ruleofguestgoalsTurkishChampiongotahugeadvantage.WeneededawininIstanbulsurroundedbyaggressivefansa badreputation."Galatasaray"provedatoughnut.Hisplayershaveresortedtovarioustricks-dives,prolongingthetime arguingwiththejudge.Theyplayedverytightdefense,notallowingustobreakthroughit.Thegameendedgoallessdraw. Inhercourseraisesalotofhassles,butintheendtheplayersanddidlosecontrolofhimself.Erichasbeenremoved.On thewaytothedressingroomhitthepolicemanovertheheadwithBryanRobson.Cantonajoinedthemelee. InthelockerroomasifErichadgonemad.Ifotherswantedtogetoutofhere,hewasdeterminedtodealwiththepolice, whobatonohazhivateveryonewhohehadjustcaughthisarm.Ericwasalargebuildandwasserious.Heshoutedthathe wasgoingtonailthisbastard.Itscalmedonlybyjointeffortscoach,BrianKiddandafewplayers.NormallyIamnotgoingto fight,butevenIwasnotreadytomakewar.ThereweresomanyTurkishfans!Inanycase,theresultdoesnotchange.We left. InearlyNovember,Iparticipatedinhisfirstderbymankunianskomto"MainRoad"."City"managedtoclimbtomid-tableafter aweakstart.Buttheplaceinthetableandforgottenreputationinthederby.Thematchwasextremelyimportant,especially forfansof"United".Defeatwouldmakethemgrieveformonthsandindesperationtowanderaroundthecity.Thevictory alsogivesthemashieldandaweaponforacelebrationinstores,factories,officesandpubsinthenextfewweeks.Fansof "United"and"City"hatedeachother.Forobviousreasonsannoyanceoffansof"City"wasbetter.Thesuccessof"United" didnotgotoanycomparisonwiththemiserableexistenceofthe"City",whoseleadershipwasreplaced,onebyone,andhis bossesandjustdoingwhatcoacheswerefired.Hissupporterscriedoutthatonlythe"City"wastheonlyrealclubin Manchester,which,incontrasttothe"United"isnotcosmopolitan,andsteepedinwealth,andthisis mankuniantsev.Historically,itwaspossibletogiveargumentsinfavorofthe"City"isafundamentalandmostimportantclub inManchester.Beforejoiningin1945,MataBusbyin"United""ManchesterUnited"wasjustoneofaseriesofgrayclubs. WithinashortperiodintheseventiesJoeMercerandMalcolmAllisonrestoredtoitsformerglory,"City".Butstill,"United" wasontopmostofthemodernera. TomarkourdeparturefromtheEuropeancupaftermeetingswith"Galatasaray"fans"City"whenwewenttothepre-match warm-up,wethrewtheTurkishsweets.Thegamestartedasusual.Thepacewascrazy,theplayersdriftedinrolledoverall partsofthefield.Opponentswereflyingatfullspeed,drivenbyfans,who,itseemed,theresultwasallthemorenecessary, thanbytheplayers.Wewerenotpreparedforsuchaturnofevents.Accustomedtocontrolthepaceofplayinawaygames, wewereunabletoholdbacktheonslaughtofthecrazyenergythatdrewusagainstrivalsinthefirstforty-fiveminutesofthe match.Imissedagreatopportunityforagoalwhenthescorewas0-0.Andthen...wemisstwogoals.Thewhistle,notifying thecompletionofthefirsthalf,wasreceivedwithrelief. Coachwarnedusaboutwhatmighthappenifwedonotgiveallthebest,asarival,fromthefirstminutesofplay.Theclass isnotinthebill,ifyoucannotwinaphysicalfight. Enteringthesecondhalf,weknewexactlywhatwedo.Youmustfirstwinthecombatandfoldeachinhispersonalduelwith arival.Thentheclasswillaffect.DespitethefactthatAlexFergusonhadareputationfortoughcoaches,throwingacupof teainthedressingroom-andthishappened-hehadamoresubtleanalyticalmindthansomesuggestonthebasisofthe abovecharacteristics.Inthematchofhiswordsathalf-timeweresimple:meetthematanadequatepressure,Scoreagoal andthegamewillgoinadifferentway.Winthesecondhalf. Wewonit.Erichasreducedthegapinthescoreearlyinthesecondhalf.Twentyminuteslater,playersof"City"wereunlike themselves.Theygaveallthepowerinthefirsthalf.Withthescore1-2,Iknewthatwewouldwin. Ninetyminutes-alongperiodoftime,and2-0-asolidadvantage.Ifyouholdtheaccountbystandingdefenseandforget aboutanyattemptstoattack,ifyouthrowallthathashelpedyouinthefirstplacetoscorethosetwogoals,weexpecta sharpturnofevents.Competition,consistingofninetyminutestohavetheirebbsandflows.Eachnewsituationrequiresa rapidsolution.Youneedtoknowwhentoaddspeedandwhentheyslowdown,whentoslowdownandwhentoincreaseit. Itisthroughourunderstandingofthesethings,aswellastheabilitytoputintopracticewhatweknowintheory,wewonthe matchonthe"MainRoad".Bruce,Cantona,Irwin,Hughes,Ince,Pallister-theyinstinctivelyfelttheebbandflowofthese matches.Theconceptof"thepsychologyofwinning"isoftenappliedtofootball."I-thewinner."Anyonecansaythose words.Buttoprovethisinpracticecanonlyupscaleprofessionals.AndonlynowdoIfullyunderstandthatitisduetothe

natureoftheteam,ofwhichIwas,shebecameachampion.BryanRobsonhadallthetypicalqualitieschampion.Butina matchagainstthe"City",hedidnotplay.Nevertheless,wehadenoughpowertodotheirjobproperly. Ericscoredthesecondgoal.Andthenwerealizedthatthethreepointswewillhaveinyourpocket.Therewasnochance thatwewouldagreetoadraw.Alotofteamswouldstopatthat.Again,experiencetellsusthatwecannotcalmdownand leavethefield,gainingonlyonepoint.Nowthatthe"City"struggledinitsdeaththroes,it'stimetofinishthemoff.Wewent forward,encounteringlittleresistance.Theyonlypretendedtoplay.Atleastthemajority.DenisIrwinbroketotheleft.I startedtomoveforwardfromthehalfwayline.Nowonlytwothingsdecidetheoutcomeofthematch:precisiondeliveryof Dennisandtheselectedtimemyleapintothepenaltyarea,"City".Ipullouttooearly,Icouldbeeitheroffsideorrunpastthe ball.Idudstoolate-andnotmanagetheball,evenifitwouldflyinmydirection.Duringthegameyou'redoingdozensof thesejerks,buttheballnevercomestoyou.Otherjerksarealsomadeinvain,asyouincorrectlycalculatetheirtime.The mainthingistoalwaysmakejerks.Thatwasmygame. Chamberwasperfect-tothefarpost,behindthedefendersofthe"City",whichlongagolostconcentration.ThistimeIgot my.Theballhitmeonthecourse,andIbrokeonit,almostdroppingtotheground.Iworkedformybreadforaweek.Having scoredthewinninggoal,Ibecameaheroforawhile.Butthetruthwasthatthisgoal,asalwayshappensinfootball,has beenhammeredthroughtheeffortsoftheteam. Ourvictorywasmadepossiblebymanydifferentfactors,mostimportantofwhichwasafusionofexperiencethetrainerand leadingtheteamwhoknewexactlyhowtoapproachthetaskfacingusinthesecondhalf.Inaddition,wehavebeen endowedwiththenecessaryabilitiestohandlethiswork.The"ManchesterCity"hadnoskillsorexperience.Inthematch againstthemenmettheboys.That'swhywewon. Inalmostallrespects,"ManchesterUnited"wastheepitomeofayoungfootballplayerdreamsof.Withsuchexcellent professionaltraining,eachwasinstructive,anddemandedfromyougreateffort.Ilearned,forexample,thischaracter,who wasopposedtogossipandnytyu.Theseplayers,likeBruce,Robson,CantonaandGaryPallister,werenotespecially talkative-they'rejustdoingtheirjob.PaulInce,"manager"astheycalledhim,hadalongtongue,buthealsopossessedthe qualitiesofagreatplayer,anditdidnothavetowaitforthegameinthefinalgamereachedboilingpoint.Incehashadhis own,rogue,character,and,besides,hewasmyrivalforaplaceinthecomposition.ButIgotalongwellwithhim.Hewas alwaysacheerleader,whenwewentforawalkanddrinkafewglassesortwo.PeterSchmeichelwasagreatposer.Hewas endowedwithself-importantandoftenplayedinpublic.Suchwashisnature.Allthisfingerpointinggesturesandbright, showingfrustration,saidfansofthefollowing:Lookatme,I'llstilllongtogiveyouhismagictosavetheteam.Itwashis acting,butwebasicallydidnotpayheranyattention,becauseithelpedhimindifficulttimes.Inaddition,Schmeichelknew hisbusiness.Hewasanexcellentgoalkeeper.Thatis,nothisantics,hasbeenimportant.Pamperingaffordablecost.  AlthoughBryanRobsonwasstillunabletogainthenecessaryform,itwasfeltinthelockerroomleader.Heenjoyedgreat respect,sometimesturningintoacultworshipoftheotherplayers.Thislargelyexplainsthesuccessofthecaptainonthe footballfield,wherehewasarealfighter-scoredgoals,playedintheselection,defendedhimselfexcellentlyacted"onthe secondfloor,"andruledtheball.Hewaswithoutashadowoffearintheselection,withoutfearofinjury.WhenAlex Fergusonhadhardinhisearlyyearsattheclub,Robsonfoughtlikealiontohelptheteam.Hewasagreatplayerasa "United"aswellasinEngland.Buthisbehaviorwasnotahintofvanity.Robsonmadenosecretthatenjoyslife,andhada strongcharacter.Hecoulddrinkashardasplayingandtraining.Hewasveryintelligentandhadasenseofhumor.His passionatedesiretolivehelpedhimbecomeagreatplayerandacompanionablefriendduringparties.  AsthecaptainskillfullymanagedRobsonplayers.Thecoachconsultedwithhimonmostissuesrelatingtoplayers.Training, travel,anysmallissuesthat,ifleftunresolved,couldbecomeabigproblem...Fromthefirstdayofmystayattheclub,Brian treatedmeverywell.Iwasshyanddidnotfeelatease,tryingtoadjusttomajorchangesinmylife-bothonthefieldandoff it-sothespeechrecognitionandpraisemeantalottome.  Afterthederby,IreturnedtoDublin,thelocationoftheRepublicofIreland,whospentvisitingthecrucialWorldCup qualifyingmatchinNorthernIreland.Beatingus3-1inDublin,Spanishteamleftinthegroupfavoriteinthefightforaticket totheUSA.DuringtheseconddisputedIrelandandDenmark.IftheDanesreplaytheSpaniardsaway,theywillgetsecond placeinthegroup.Iftheylose-thatseemedthemostreal-we'regoingtothechampionship,avoiding,ofcourse,defeatin Belfast. SincewecaneasilybeatNorthernIrelandinDublinon3-0,thetaskbeforeusdidnotseemimpossible. Now,IthinkitwouldbenecessarytosaythatIhadmixedfeelingsaboutplayingforIreland.Ienjoyedplayingninetyminutes onthefield,buttherestI'mtreatedcoldly.OrganizationaffairsintheIrishteamwasatitslowestlevel.TheFootball  Associationhasdoneeverythingnotasitshould,sincetheconditionsoftrainingofthetrainingprocess,travel arrangements,andformsofcare. GettingintothismessafteraprofessionalclubinEngland,Iwasshocked.Comingherefromthe"ManchesterUnited", whereSirAlexFergusondidhisbesttoeverydetailhasbeengivenitsmostscrupulousattention,mydesperationevenmore intensified.Evenworsethanaverybadorganizationofthecase,wasasenseofpridethateveryonehastosufferforwhat theIrishdoeverythingtheirownway.Unlikeotherteamswithwhomwemet,wewereill-preparedandunprofessional approachtobusiness,andevenbraggedaboutit!Nooneelseseemstobesodislikedanecdotesabouttheorganization disgustingFootballAssociationofIreland,JackCharltonas.Hisstoriesaboutitwerepartofanafternoonroutinewhennext tohimwasalargeaudience.Naturally,hewasthemaincharacterinhisstoriesbecauseitmakestheteamplaywell,despite thefactthateveryonewasagainsthim.StoriesCharltonhadtomakeanimpressionontheaudience,but,intruth,theywere blatantnonsense.Diditallfortrainingplayerstoagameatthehighestlevel?Ifwewereprepared,asneeded,thenwould increasethequalityofhisspeechon5-10percent.Andthissmallcontributionwouldbeimportant.But,apparently,the coachdidnotcare.Onthecontrary,"thecharming"behavioroftheIrish-todoeverythingthroughyourass-justwateron hisLilomill. Playersshruggedtheirshouldersandawrysmile,settlingintoanotherwretchedhotel,tobetrainedon"kochkarnike"didnot findadecenttrainingsuitorsomethingmoresimple,suchasbandagesonmyankle,andhesatinthebackoftheaircraft,

togetherwiththefansandjournalists,tookitasis,whileJackandotherleadersoftheteamflyinginbusinessclass.Infact, wehavenotdoneso?IsBigJackhadnotdoneamiracle,movingtheteamtoIrelandEuro88andItalia90? Itseemsthattheupcominggamewaslikeapassinggame,andtheairwasnotfeltthisatmosphereofacommongoal,no willingness,nosensethatthegameonWednesdaywastheonlyreasonthatyoucamehere.Westartedtodealwiththe caseonlyonthedayofthematch. ReligiousdivisionsinNorthernIrelandhaditsinfluenceonfootball,asinotheraspectsoflife."WindsorPark,"wherewe weresupposedtoplayastadium,"Linfield".Likethe"Rangers"inScotland,"Linfield"wasconsideredaProtestant club."WindsorPark"wasandremainsoff-limitstoCatholics,iftheyjustdonotcomebackalargecrowdtocheerfora Catholicclub.Becauseofthemanyhistoricalreasons,onlyafewrepresentativesoftheCatholicChurchwererootingfor teaminNorthernIreland.Instead,theysupportedtheRepublicofIreland.ManyCatholicsofNorthernIrelandcameto "LansdowneRoad"tocheeronTeamIreland. Notsurprisingly,theatmosphereat'WindsorPark',waselectric.Weweremetbyhatefulchants,"Fenianscum"(Fenian-a memberofasecretsocietythatfoughtfortheliberationofIrelandfromBritishrule.-VS)andthe"Catholicbastards!". Soccerplayersofourteam,whohadBritishrootswereindisarray.Knownothingabouthistory,guyslikeAndyTownsend, JohnAldridge,TonyCascarinoandAlanMcLaughlin,lookedateachotherwithbewilderedlook. Shockingwasthefactthatangercamenotonlyfromtheplaceswheretheaudiencesatvictorious.Hatredfeltandthemain grandstands. WeeasilybeatNorthernIrelandonthe"LansdowneRoad."Nowtheopponenthasbeensetouttogiveusafight.Ibelieve thattheunusualatmosphereofthestadiumpreventedsomeofourguystoconcentrate.Also,Iwassurprisedwithwhatfury foughtfootballteaminNorthernIreland.TheyreallydonotwantustocometotheWorldCup.Gameforthemmeant nothing,exceptthattheycouldstopustoreachtheworldchampionship.Bykeepingthisideainmyhead,theydidtheirbest tocarryitout.Inaddition,theseventy-thirdminute,JimmyQuinn,heledthemforward. Fortunately,threeminuteslater,AlanMcLoughlinequalizedsuperbstrikefromoutsidethepenaltyarea.Wewereableto defendusrightthroughtotheend,inspiredbythenewsthatSpainbeatDenmark. WewentintothefinaltournamentoftheWorldCup94.Iwasglad,ofcourse,gettotheWorldCup,butwhenthefloorwas floodedwithchampagnedressingandcelebrationscontinuedinourmidnightflighttoDublin,Ifeltasifhewasoveratthis celebrationoflife. MydislikeofCharlton,disgustingpreparationformatches,ourprimitivegametactics,allthepattingontheshoulderandthe othercrapwouldnotletmeenjoytheholiday.Ifeltatease. Ifyoudonotmakeradicalchanges,attheWorldCupwillbringusintothelight.  Afterswitchingtothe"ManchesterUnited"Iwaslivinginthehotel"FourSeasons"neartheairport.Itwasashelter,whileI waslookingforanapartmentorhouse.Iwaslonely.Inadditiontotrainingandgamesthathadnothingtodo.Atleastoncea weekIwenttoNottingham,whereIstillhadahomeandoldfriends.ButmostofthetimeIspentmunchinginfrontoftheTV foodcookedatthehotel.BecausenowIwas"themostexpensivefootballerinBritain"andstar"ManchesterUnited",a dinnerattherestaurantdeliveredalotofinconvenience. IfoundthatIfindithardtocopewithfame,whichwasaloadforacareerfootballplayer.Canyoutalkaboutthisas syndromewhinyactress.Iwantedtobealone.SometimesImissedthecompany.Justgowithsomeoneelsetoeatordrink. Theotherplayers,"United"washiswife,familyandfriends.AndsinceIdidnotwantsomeonecametomyarea,Itriednotto standinthewayofothers.Perhapsitishereisamythaboutmyretreat.Stupidityandpridedidnotallowmetotakethefirst steptowardsfriendship. FriendsandfamilymembersregularlycamefromCorktoManchesterforthematches,"United".Idroppedinbehindthemat theairportonFridayevening,transportedtotheirhotelsandthendecidinghowtogettheticketstometobeenoughfor everyone.Tickets!Eachplayer"United"live"ticket"anightmare.Mycasewasmoreseverebecauseofthelargesizeof familyandkinmanyfriendsandfriendsoffriendswhowerefansof"ManchesterUnited".InCorkknewthatRoywouldnot hurtyou! Desperatelytryingnottolosefaceandreputationtosupportamanwhodoesnotforgetoldfriends,Ispentasignificantpart oftheweek,tryingtogettickets.ThishelpedmetoBryanRobson.Ascaptain,hedistributedtheticketsamongtheplayers. Themostimportantweretheticketstotheplayers'lounge,wheretheycouldmeetafterthematch.Imercilesslyattacked Robbo.Hewasjustsuper.IdonotrememberitIwaseverdisappointed,howevermuchIdemandedofhim. Weassumedfourticketsforthematchandtwointhelounge.Briangavemesixorseventickets,whenIimploredhim, sayingthatmyfriendshavedonealongtripfromCork.Sometimespeoplecomeuptomefifteen.SometimesIjustbought tenorfifteenticketstomeetallneeds.Problemsolved?NoWay!Ticketswithoutcrossingtheroomtotheplayers consideredtobedisrespectfulonmypart.BacktoRobbo:"Arethereanyextraticketintotheroom?"Loungeforplayersto "OldTrafford"isnotveryspaciousandcanaccommodateaboutfortypeople.AfteronegameIcountedinhereighteenofhis relativesandfriends!Sometimestheproblemwiththeticketsmadememad.  Atfirst,Ilikedtoseesomefamiliarfaces.Afterthegamewewenttoeatanddrink.AllinterestedinmylifeandIwantedto remainclosetothosewhomheknewbefore,howtoget"onstage." SteveBruce,whowassecondteamafterBryanRobson,sometimesjoinedus.Withhisexperienceheunderstoodthe difficultiesfacedbythenovice,whojoinedthe"United",andespeciallyonethathascosttheclubalotofmoneyandwhich nowhavearesponsibility,whichconsistedinjustifyingtheexpectationsimposedonhim.Loneliness,theburdenof expectationsplacedonyou,thehotellifeandanewenvironment,whichisverydifferentfromthattowhichyouare accustomed-bothonthefieldandoffit-andcanmakestayingintolerableplayersinanymajorclubs,including" ManchesterUnited".SteveBruceandBryanRobsonunderstoodthisandhelpedmegetusedtotheManchester,assisting inmajorcases(eg,tickets),andinvarioussmall-withaninvitationtoeatordrink.Ifeltlikepartoftheclub,respectedand needed.Thefactthattherehasbeennothingtodowithfootball,infact,hasbeenimportant.Igainedmoreconfidenceanda senseofbelongingtotheclubduetotheattentionshowntomebyBruceandRobson,whichinturnhelpedimprovemy game.

Usuallyafteratumultuousweekend,IfeltbadonMonday. "Irishweekend,Roy?"-Askedmetocoach,whenIappearedonthetrainingfieldinthemorningallbruised. "Justafewfriendsandfamily"-Irepliedcalmly.  AlexFergusonwasstrict,butatthesametimeoftenchangedtemperjusticewithmercy.Ifyouspoketohimaquestion,he wasalwayswillingtolistentoyou.BrianKiddalsocouldhelpyou.Healwayssawthatyou'realittleoutofit,andspent traininginthepowersavingmode."Thismorning,Iwillnotbetoostrictwithyou."Andagain,itwouldseemasmalldetail, butitwasformeveryimportant,andIstartedtomakeextraordinaryeffortstoouroverallsuccessonthefield.Beingatthe headofthecollectivestrengthsofindividuals,FergusonandKidd,whothemselveshadastrongcharactertounderstandthat isgovernednotbysomeBoyScouts.Afterall,theydonotwincups! Thecoachfeltthedaybeforeiftherewasaseriousdrinking.IsoonlearnedthatAlexFergusonhadanetworkofagentsin Manchester,whoinformedhimabouthowtobehaveinsocietyofhisplayers.Manchesterwasagreatcountry,andyou couldnottakeastepwithouttheknowledgeofthecoach. "Roy-hadhappened,hewouldcallmeinthemorning.-Walkedlastnight?" "Yeah,justafewshots." "Whenyoucomehome?" "I'mnotsure,butit'stoolate"-Ireplied,desperatelyhopingforthesuccessofhiswords. "Itisnottoolate...DonotyoucalledinataxithismorningathalfpasttwoDeansgate?".Thenhecalledtheclubwhereyou havevisited,andtheexacttimewhenyoucomehome. Isoongaveupandspokethetruthwhenthecoachbegantoquestionme.Honestywasthebestpolicy.Formanyyears,this ideaworksinmyfavor.Iopenlyadmittedthatwhenhewasnotinthebestcondition,andthetabloidspublishedstinging articleaboutmy"nightofshame",wheninfacttheyhadnoshredoftruthand,SirAlexFergusonbelievedonlyinmyversion ofevents. Drunkennessandso-calledcultureofdrinkingin"ManchesterUnited"havebeenverysensitiveissuesinrelationswiththe coach.Iknewthathestruggledwithalcoholism,whenhecametotheclub.PaulMcGrathsaleandNormanWhitesidewas partlythefactthatthecoachwantedtoshowthathewouldnottoleratetheabuseofalcohol. Today,footballhaschangedalot.Nowyourdietcarefullyselected.Itisrecommendedtousethejuice,fruitandpasta. Foreigncoaches,playersandnutritionists,whohaveresortedtotheservicesofalltheleadingclubshaveconvincedusof theneedtotakecareofyourself.HowtoconverttothefaithIcansaythatthestrictwayoflife,whichwenowadhereto,has ledtoasubstantialimprovementofourconditionandplaying.Englishfootballhaschangedforthebetter.There'snodoubt aboutit.NowI'mevenafraidtothinkabouthisearlyyearson"OldTrafford",althoughIstillhavefondmemoriesofthattime. Iwasyoung,happyandplayingforthebestclubinthecountry.This,Ithought,andlaidthemeaningoflife.Afterthefirst daysoflonelyhotellife,Ibegantocatchup.Istayedonthesametypeofschedule,inwhichallrevolvedarounddrinking.  AfterthegameonSaturdaythewholeteamgoingintothe"FourSeasons".Beforetheguestbuspickedupaclubgames whereplayerswholeavetheircarsnearthehotel.Afterwork,busdroveusoverthere,and"vechernika"beganto "Mulligans,"Irishbar,locatedinthe"FourSeasons"."Mulligans"wasafashionableestablishmentinthosedays.Formeit wasideal-Ineededonlytoreachtheelevatortofallintobed! Itisinterestingthatwhileourteamwasnotarecluse,notwantingtodrink.Seldomhasaplayerwenthome,nevermissinga glassortwo.Ofcourse,therewereexceptionalcircumstanceswherepeoplehadtogohomeatonce,butusuallyhavetobe abravemantorefusetoparticipateinourafter-match"party",withoutgivingthebenefitofhardevidence. Whenthebarclosed,wemovedtoanightclub,whichisalsolocatednearby.Onlythreeorfourinthemorning,and sometimesevenmuchlaterIcamebacktohim. (Noweverythingisdifferent.Wemeetatthe"FourSeasons"infrontofguestspots.Butwhenwereturn,Iimmediatelygetin thecarandgohometotheirfamilies.IsometimesthinkthatLaurentBlanc,Isuggesttoholda"party"inthe"Mulligans,"he'll thinkI'mcrazy). Ifthe"United"wasplayinginthemiddleoftheweek,mycommunicationwithfriendsendedonSundayevening.MyIrish visitorswenthome,theotherplayerswenttotheirfamilies,andthenthelonelinessthatIfeltinEnglishthehotelonSunday evening,itbecameunbearable.Ioftenvisitedthetwolocalpubs-"Griffin"and"Stanford."SometimesIgotherewithLee SharpeandEric,sometimesalone. Leewastwoyearsolderthanmeandkeptbachelorlifestyle.Heplayedinthe"United"foracoupleofseasonsandwasan outstandingplayer.Leewasabletostandontheleftedgeofthedefenseortherighttoplaceanattackingmidfielder.Hewas anexcellent,cheerfulandcarefreeguy.Hecouldcheermeandlovedthefastlife.Leewasaladies'man.Ineversawthat theothercouldproducesuchanimpressiononwomen,likeLee. ConductnighttimeraidswithEricCantonawasalwaysfun.Everywhereheattractedattention.Eveninthe"Griffin",where regularsareaccustomedtovisitsGeorgeBestandBryanRobson,amysteriousauraEricdrewpeopletohim.Althoughhe gavetheimpressionofanalienatedandimmersedinthoughtsofthegeniusthathewaswellserved,inreallifehewasa normalperson.Well,almostnormal.Henevertookanymoney.Alwaysdrinkingchampagne.Irememberbeingstartled dealersatManchesterAirportwhenheofferedhisgoldcreditcardtopayforapackofgum.Atparties,Ericlovedtotalk aboutfootball.Hehasextensiveknowledgeaboutthegameandcouldspeakatlengthaboutthevarioustacticsandmodes ofEuropeanclubs. Recallingthosedays,IcannotbelievewhatIwaslivingthenconducted.Mostofusinthe"United"didnotseeanything wrongtohaveadrinkforthreeorfourdaysbeforethematch. Ifeltfine,buttheclubalsowasfine."Blackburn"hasbeenourclosestcompetitor,whohadthreegamesleft.Whenwehave won,"Norwich"in1/16finalsoftheFACupandgotto"Wimbledon"in1/8finals,peoplestartedtalkingaboutthegolden double.Playingwiththe"Norwich"wasbroadcastonBBC-BBC.EricandIscoredonegoalandwewon2-0.Footballers 'Norwich'weredetermined,andsoonstruckupatoughfight.Ourpositionontheteamwassimple.Ifanopponentwantsto playfootball,please.Butwhenheenteredthefieldandbeginstokick,wewerealsonotagainstit.Therefore,whenplayers 'Norwich'andbegantorideuptoplayhard,weansweredtheminkind.InthePremierLeagueandnowthiscanbeseen

everywhere.Shouldimmediatelydeclareitself.Wemustshowtheopponent,ifitisconfiguredtophysicallyfight,thenheis doomed.Rigorousselectionprocessatthebeginningofthegameisthebestwaytotellhimaboutit.InNorwich,Erikhitone oftheplayers'opponentashelayonthegrass.Indifferentpartsofthefieldbeganafight.Afterthegame,JimmyHilland othertopB-BBCangrilytalkingaboutourbehavior.Revengewasoutofcontrol,saidHillandhisfriends.Ofcourse,theyis notbeating.Whenourcoachwasaskedaboutthebehaviorofhisteam,butatthesametimeattentionwasdrawn particularlytoEricandme,FergusoncalledJimmyHill's"vaintalkers."Thenextday,thenewspapersdidnotneedtoinvent titles. Thatsamemonth,SirMattBusbydied.Weattendedthefuneralalongwithgreatplayers,"ManchesterUnited"ofthepast.I feltgoosebumpsonhisbackwhilestandinginthechurchandlistenedtospeechesofpraisetotheBusby.Theceremony wassolemn.DespitethefactthatBusby'sdeathwasnotmypersonalgrief,Icouldunderstandthesenseoflossexperienced bymanypeopleinthe"ManchesterUnited"andinthecity."United"Busbywasmorethanafootballclub.Busbywasa pioneerofhistime-thefirstwhohasentrustedtheyoung,thefirstwhounderstoodtheimportanceofparticipationin Europeancompetition.Ididnotneedtoleavethefamilyhometoseethemagicthatishappeninginthepronunciationofthe name"ManchesterUnited".  Acoupleofdaysweplayedwith"Everton"to"OldTrafford".Scottishbagpiperledbothteamsonthefield.Duringamoment ofsilencewasfilledwithemotionatmosphere.Thestoryalwaysremindedmeaboutyourself,theplayeris"United".Inthe subconsciousmindisalwayssittingonthatthisclubwasnotthesameastheothers.Youhadtojustifythehigh expectations.Inamatchwith"Everton"Welostconcentration.Recenteventsclearlyhadaneffectonus.Weplayedbad, butwon1-0thankstoagoalfromRyanGiggs. Inaseriesofgames,especiallyagainstso-calledmiddling,including"Swindon","Oldham"and"Wimbledon",your membershipinthe"ManchesterUnited"ismostnoticeable.Formostclubsinthegamewith"MJ"werethemostimportantof theseason.Nomatterhowbadlythingsweregoingtothechampionshipvictoryoverthe"ManchesterUnited"was consideredself-sufficient.Stadiums,whichatbestisusuallyfilledtothree-quartersofthegameswith"United"waspackedto capacity.Supportersofthehometeamstarts,passinghisattitudetofootballplayerswhobeganplayathigherspeeds.The oldclichéthattheytookthisgameasaCupfinal,wastherightdefinition.Soeverygamewehadtoconcentrateonehundred percent,especiallyinthefirstfewminutes. Ilikedthetensionawaygames,"United".Aboveusthedangerofcomplacencyprevailednot,andIthoughtthatbecauseof thisIcontinuallyrefinehisgame.Themainthingthathurtusthequick,wasthattheopponentoutonthefieldtomakea nameforthemselves,disposingofitwithus.Whatthehellarenotlaidouteveryweek?Maybethentheywouldnothaveto playforthedamn"Norwich"or"Swindon"?Thereforewearenotretreating,havingappearedinsuchcircumstances.Needto respondtoaggressiontoaggression,andthenattheendofthematchclassbeatseverythingelse.  AtEaster,acrucialperiodinthePremierLeague,inmypersonallifewasexcitingevents:thewomanIloved,hasagreedto livewithmeinManchester.Now,whenshemovedtomyhome,mylifeoutsideofthefieldhasbecomemoreconsistent.I've gotgoalsandobjectives.Theresawaspregnantwithmyfirstchild,andthismotivatedmetocontinuetogrow. Ittookustwogamestobeat,"Oldham"inthesemi-finalsoftheFACup.Ouropponentinthefinalswas"Chelsea",whotwice beatusinthechampionship.Intheleaguewehaveissuedaseriesofsixmatcheswithoutdefeat.Themostimportantgame wastheguestmetwiththe"Leeds",inwhichwewon2-0.Claims,"Blackburn"forthetitleweredashedafterlosingtohis guest,"Coventry". Weplayedadraw-0:0with"Coventry"on"OldTrafford"inthelastleaguematchoftheseason.BryanRobsonforthismatch wasspecial-heendedhisspeechforhis"ManchesterUnited".Robbowasoneofthegreatestplayersofhisgeneration,the legend"OldTrafford",whowaslovedandrespectedasanyotheroutstandingplayerinthepast,"United".Ofcourse,I rememberthatdayaswellaswonthefirstmedalofthechampionship,butthemostmemorablewasthehospitalityextended toBrianfansafterheliftedthechampionshiptrophy. Players'United',coachesandclubworkerswerealsoimpressedbywhatishappening,andasfansofourteam.Forallofus seemedtobetheembodimentofBryanRobsonaprofessionalfootballer.Itwasalmostaperfectplayer:scoring,robbed,he playedapass,wasgoodat"secondfloor",readyforeverygame,notafraidtofightandledthebyexample.Robbowasthe captainoftheEnglandteamandtheclub,butdidnothavecomplexstars.Hewasaveryinfluentialfigureinthe"United", whenIwenttotheclub.Inallcases,largeandsmall,bothonthefieldandoutsideit,healwayssetthetone.Themain playersarethestyleofmostteams.ThenatureofthechampionteamofAlexFerguson,BrianRobsonwasdeterminedmore thananyotherplayer.Nowhemovedin,"Middlesbrough"asaplayer-coach.ItwasagreatlossforAlexFerguson,andfor us. ThenextSundaywebeatintheFACupfinal,"Chelsea"to"Wembley".Erichasimplementedtwopenaltyandbroughtthe desiredglossonthescoreboard,whichcaressedoureyes.Iwasinseventhheavenafterwinninggolddoubleisinhisfirst seasoninthe"United". Reservewasthefruitoftheeffortsoftheentireteam.Ericwroteonhistwentyandfivegoals,MarkHughes-twenty-one, RyanGiggs-seventeen,AndreiKanchelskis-ten,PaulInce-nine,andLeeSharpe-eleven.InthePremiershipwehave missedthirty-eightheads,whichaveragedlessthanonegoalpergame.Rememberingtheseason,Irealizedthatthemost importantachievementformewasapermanentplaceinthestartinglineup. "Iamglad,butnotlosthishead"-perhapsthemostaccuratedescriptionofmyfeelingsthatIexperiencedwhen,alongwith DenisIrwinwenttotheWorldCupintheUnitedStatesintheRepublicofIreland. Theonlyproblemstandinginfrontofus-toavoidembarrassment.Fouryearsago,astrongIrish-skayateamreachedthe quarterfinalsinItaly-90,whichlosttothehostswithaminimumscoreofthechampionship.Iwaswatchingthechampionship ontelevisionandwiththewholecountrywatchedinamazementtheachievementsofourteam. Inhisfirstchampionshipgame,wemetwiththeItalianteaminNewYork.OurotherrivalsinthegroupwereMexicoand Norway.Topreparefortheheatandhighhumidity,ourtrainingcampislocatedinOrlando,Florida.Conditionsof preparationprovidedbytheAmericans,wereperfect.TheonlythoughtthatisputintopracticetheGreatandhisassistant

JackSetters,wastodriveushalftodeatheveryday.Theybelievedthatwehavebecomeaccustomedtoheavyloads,and thereforebeabletoresisttotheendofmatches. MostbetonthefactthatItalywillbecometheworldchampion.InadditiontothegreatdefendersinthefaceofMaldiniand Baresitheyhadafirst-classplayerattacksRobertoBaggio,DinoBaggioandDonadoniandinmidfield.Manypeopleare leeryoftheneedfortheWorldCupintheUSAunderthehotsuninthemiddleofsummer.Onethingwasclear:theheatwill beonhandtacticsCharlton"hit-and-run."Hemadeonlyoneconcessiontohumidity,abundantwatersuppliesarepreparing forafieldedge.Now,ourplanwasa"drink-and-run."But,asitalwayshasintheIrishnationalteam,ourspiritwasstrong.In thebusonthewaytothe"GiantsStadium"wesangsongsofIrishrebels,whocommentedontheEnglishyokeandthe gloriousstruggleheroesIreland.Andhowtheywerekilled.Orhanged.SoccerplayerswithEnglishrootssangasferventlyas therest. ThousandsofIrishfanshavecometoAmerica.WeexpectgoodsupportinNewYorkhadahugeItalian-American communityinmanywayssuperiortotheIrish.Wethoughtthatthestadiumisdividedinitspreferencesabouthalf.Toour surprise,weweregreetedbyrowsofseats,paintedinthecolorsoftheIrishtricolor,whentheycameoutonpre-match warm-up.ItwasestablishedthatonthatSaturday,"GiantsStadium"attendedby50000fansRepublicofIreland,whichin itselfwasincredible! "GiantsStadium"waslikeafire-breathingoven.Ineverfeltlikehumidity.Itwashardtobreathe,I'mnottalkingabouthowto run. TheItaliansstartedthematchinhiscautiousfashion.Theywereonlytoohappytoplaythepassandmakeusrun.Whileit wastooearlytosaythatthegametookaparticularcourse.However,knowingaboutthepresenceofRobertoBaggiointhe campoftheopponent,wethoughtthatthemomentarylossofconcentrationcancostyoualot.Onhandtouswasthatinour parttherewasalotofexperiencedplayers.PekiBonner,DenisIrwin,SteveStaunton,JohnAldridge,RayHoughton,Andy TownsendandPaulMcGrath,whospenthisbestdaysinthe"AstonVilla". BecausetheItalianshavenottakenanoffensiveonslaughtinthefirstminutesofthematch,wegraduallybegantoseizethe initiative.ThefanshelpeduswiththeirfiercesupportandplayonthenervesoftheItalians.Asiffromnowhere,Ray Houghtonscored.InthepenaltyboxItalianswererandomlysenttheballlongdistances.Baresi,whousuallyplaysquietly knockedtheballandhefelltoRay,whostoodatthirtymetersfromthegate.Rayhandledtheballhasmovedfivemeters andshotwithtrimming.ItaliangoalkeeperPalyukamovedfromthegoalline,waitingforastrongandaccuratestrike. However,Raydidnothittheballwell,andheflewupanddownoverhisheadinPalyukinet.Ididnotunderstandhowitall happened.Butitdidnotmatter-attheexpenseofgoingallnaked. InthesecondhalfofthemeetingtheItaliansfortwenty-fiveminutesinarowdidnotgiveusthedescent.Wewerelikea cornered.Pekimadeacoupleofgreat"saves."I'veplayedinfrontofthedefendersoftheQuartet,withspecialattentionto RobertoBaggio,whoeverynowandthenwalkedawayfromhisguardians.Itisthesemomentsisespeciallyappreciatedby realplayers.Thebattlerequiresyoulikepeaceofmindandingenuity,andcraftsmanship.TheItalianscertainlyhavethe bestselectionofplayers.Butthefieldwasastruggleofthespirit. ThegreatPaulMcGrathdisplayedallthosequalitieswhichwererequiredofusforhalfanhourinthedayto"Giants Stadium".Foradefinitionof"great"assuitableforanyoneelse.Knownforhisself-control,abilitytohandletheballanda uniquetalentreadingthegame,Paulshowedthatday,allthesecharacteristics.Oneofhisgreatestqualitieswascourage. WhentheItalianscametothegate,Paulseemedtothemaninsurmountableobstacle.Hemanagedtodemoralizetheendof RobertoBaggioandotherItalianplayers. Itwasanamazingmatch,afantasticstarttheWorldCup.Atcertaintimeswehavebeenabletopassabadfootball.Like sometimeshappenedtoJackCharlton'sIrelandteamwhenshewasinshock.Forgetaboutinstallingthegameandjust playedthewayitdidintheirclubs. Irishfanswereingreatshapeafteravictorythatwasperhapsthegreatestinourhistory.Theycelebratedlikewewona worldchampionship.ButIdidnothaveanyillusionsaboutwhatwehavedoneinreality.WetookovertheItalians,whowere notingreatshape,andwerenotthefirstteam,whichsucceeded. WorldChampionshipfortheRepublicofIreland,onemightsay,endedthedayat"GiantsStadium". TheheatinFlorida,wherewemetwiththenationalteamofMexicowasintolerable,muchworsethaninNewYork.Rivals, wereplayedinallareasofthefield.Theyplayedinapass,andweran.Thetemperaturewasover43degreesCelsius.For sevenminutesbeforetheendofthematch,wereducedthegapinthescore-1:2.ThisgoalJohnAldridgeallowedustoplay adrawwithNorwayinthelastmatchofthegrouptogotothenextround. BackinNewYork.OurmatchagainstNorwayendedgoallessdraw,itcouldexpecttobethemostboringinthehistoryofthe worldchampionships.AfteraskirmishwithanassistantjudgeinthepreviousgameBigJackwasremovedfromthe coachingbenchandwatchedthematchfromatelevisionstationITV.Settershadcontactwithanationalherothroughthe radio.  AgainwegotoFlorida.Travelandtheheatbegantoexertitsnegativeeffectonallofourplayers.Matchesbeginatnoonin Floridawassomeoneeviljoke.ItissuitableTVmen,butkillingtheplayers.Charltonplayfootballinsuchcircumstances,it seemedimpossible.However,hecontinuedtobelieveinyourself. OurnextopponentwastheDutchteam,ateamofthisworld-classplayerssuchasDennisBerhkamp,MarcOvermars,Frank Reykaard,RonaldKoemanandFrankDeBoer.Weresortedtoourusualtacticsandlost0-2. IthoughtthatFM-94allshowedaroughandprimitiveapproachtotheCharltongame.Hehadnofallback,nothing. Judgingbythenewsfromhome,thenationwasproudofus.Flagswerehungouttosalutetheteam,beatingtheItalian team.OthereventsintheUSA-94hasbeenerasedfrommemory.We'reback,asiftheinvaders,theGreatJackledthe parade.IvaguelyrememberreceivingthePresidentandotherdetailsofthecelebrationofourarrival.AlthoughIwasgrateful toeveryonewhocameouttogiveustheirsupport,butlikemostplayers,fedupwithitall.Wehadnothingtocelebrate. VII

Season1994-95yearswasconsideredthe"OldTrafford"failure.WetooksecondplaceinthePremierLeague,behindon pointsfromthe"Blackburn",andlost,"Everton"intheFACupfinal.Wewerealsounabletoleavethegroupinthe ChampionsCup,whichnowhadanewformatcalledtheChampionsLeague. EuropeanCups,ofcourse,werethefirstinourscaleofvalues.ButtobeabletosuccessfulperformanceinEurope,we neededtowinthePremierLeague.Thus,thepressurewasfeltfromdayone.Butitwentgood.Knowingthatfromthe "United",whichwonthelasttwochampionships,expectonlythevictory,wehaveraisedthebarevenhigherlevelofour game.Manyplayerscomplainofconstantpressurefromtheoutside.Butifyouwanttoachievesomethingbig,youmust understandthatintheperiodbetweenAugustandMay,youwillnothavetimetorelax.Andsoeveryyear.Themoreyou win,themoreyoudemandfrom.Themoreyoutrytofulfilltheserequirements,thebetteryouplay.Thisisanicepressure.  And,ofcourse,themoresuccessful,"United"reachedintheseyears,thestrongerthebitternessfeltsadderandfailures- theplayers,fans,andespeciallyAlexFerguson.Anyplayerwhoisexperiencingillusionsaboutwhathisreputationor trophiesobtainedinthepreviousseason,guaranteehimaspotinthestartinglineupsoonrealizesthatthe"United" everythingisdifferent.1994/95seasonprovedit.  AlthoughImadeitintothemainpart,Iaminnowayreassured.DuringlastseasonIgotmoreandmoretookonthedutiesof aplaymakerontheadviceofBryanRobsonand...scoredfewergoals.WatchingoldgamesonTV,"ManchesterUnited"I wasdoingandtothisday,IwashorrifiedbyhownononsenseandIjustplayedsomematches,whichthenfeltontop. Physically,I'mnotevenclosetonotcomingtotheoptimalshapebecauseofhisdissolutelifestyle,butinmygametopass noimaginationandgentleness.Instinctively,Ifeltitthen...ButIplayedthebestteaminthecountry,thatinitselfshouldbe saidthateverythingisasitshould.Evenif,astheoldrecords,Iwasstillalottolearn.Anothersourceofpressureonusin theseason94-95wastheemergenceofyoungtalentinduplicate.AbouttheteamthatwontheYouthCupin1992and1993, havesaidinthepasttwoyears.RyanGiggshittherightbasisforthefirstteam.Otherswerereadytofollowhisexample. Peopleattheclub,asfans-realfans,whowatchedthestand-ins,ratherthanthosewhoatesandwichesinthestandswith shrimp-werearguingaboutwhowillbefollowingareservist,whosecuredaplaceatthebaseofthefirstteam. PaulScholeswasagreatfootballer,agreatgametopass,precastmidfielder,stubbornandable-bodiedguy,neverdeviating fromthefight.NickyButtalsopredictedabrightfuture.Anotherplayerthemiddleline,whichcouldplayarolluptheir sleevesandscoregoals-DavidBeckham.HewasaLondoner,butfansofthe"United"allhislife.Beckshadagreatimpact andwasabletoplaybothatrightandinmidfield. HeateddebategoingaboutwhoisbetterofthebrothersNeville-GaryorPhil?Garywasaverymatureplayerwhocanplay rightorcenterofdefense.Paulhadamorediversearsenaloftechnicaltoolsandknowhowtoperformtheroleofprotector atanyplace.KeithGillespiefromNorthernIrelandhadthereputationofagreatflankattackers. Fromthebeginning,weknewthattheseguyscoulddoit.Theypracticedwiththefirstteamandfeelitlikeaducktowater. Theywerenotonlygoodplayers,butalsoself-confidentguysalwaysstucktogetherandwerenotspillwateronthefieldas wellasoutsideit.Theywereateam,andagainstthem,itwasdifficulttoplayinpracticematches,whichareundertaken morecoachfromtimetotimesothatwecannotrelax.Thesegameswereheldinatightstruggle.Bothteamshad somethingtoprove.Inthecourseallowedthetoughesttacklesandthequalityoffootballwasincredible.Theydesperately wantedtoprovethattheyarewillingtoactforthefirstteam,butwewantedtosaythatweweretooearlytowriteoff.There wouldbenoexaggerationtosaythattheteststhatwesubjectedyoungunderstudies"United"havebeenmuchmoredifficult thaningameswithourrivalsinthePremierLeague.WefeltthattheappearanceofDavidBeckham,Neville,Butt,Scholes andGillespieonthelistoffirstteamwasonlyamatteroftime.Nowhadtoguesswhichplayerthebasicstructurewillgive waytoyoungplayers. ThefirstsetbackoftheseasonwesufferedintheChampionsLeague.Thedieisreduced,"United"with"Goteborg", "Galatasaray"and"Barcelona"inthesamegroupfromfurtheroutonlytwoteams.Wecouldnotcopewiththeproblem. "Barcelona"defeatedus4-0inthe"CampNou",wentfurtherinthetournamentthankstobettermeshthedifferencebetween goalsscoredandgoalsconceded.BecauseoftheUEFAregulations,wecouldnotputonthefieldformorethanthree foreigners(andnotmorethantwo'assimilatedplayers')intheChampionsLeague.Therefore,beforeeachmatch,thecoach facedadifficulttask.Hewasforcedtodecidewhotobetonthegame-PeterSchmeichel,EricCantona,AndreiKanchelskis, DenisIrwinandme.ForthesakeofUEFAregulations,wehadtosacrificetheexperienceandskill. But,despitethefactthattherulesoftournament,ontheforeignplayers,doesnotgoinourfavor,itcannotexplainour failures.Ifwewereforcedtoleavethebenchoftalent,suchaneededandfromotherclubs.OurfailureinEuropewasdueto twomainfactors. Firstofall,ourstyleofplayhasbeenadaptedtotheEnglishChampionship,wherethepacewasinsanefrombeginningto end,anditlackedthesubtletyandtacticalflexibilitywithwhichweareusuallyfacedinEurope.PlayingEuropeanclubswas moresubtleandcleverthanthePremierLeague,andtheerrorsimmediatelypunished.Inthedomesticleaguewecanact negligentlyintheattack,andifyoulosetheballinfrontofgoal,theysoonre-tookpossessionofthem.Ondefense,thesame error,asopposedtotheEuropeancup,didnotleadtoseriousconsequences.Anotherand,atthefirstglance,doesnot manifestitselfintheproblemwerethebadhabitsthattakerootandwerepurchasedfromweektoweekinourgamesinthe PremierLeague.Mostofthetimewedidnotneedtoplayatfullstrength.On"OldTrafford"mostteamsthrownthewhite flag,feelingthatthesmellofdefeat.Theyfoughtforrealabouttwentyminutes.Mostoftheguestsdidnotbelieveinits success,butservedanumberinthefieldandstayedintheliteralsense,whenwewentforward. Guestalsomatcheshavebeenquiteanothermatter.Beforeopponentitsfanslookingfortheirluck,butinmostfields,except for"Enfield","Highbury","EllandRoad"or"EwoodPark,"where"Blackburn"andDalglishhaveshowntheirfullstrength,we hadjustcomeoutandfightinanticipationofthemomentwillaffecttheclassofEricCantonaandMarkHughes.Statisticsof mythreeseasonsinthe"United"speaksvolumes.WhilewehavealwayssufferedsetbacksinEurope,welostonlysixteen ofthe122matchesplayedinthePremierLeague.ThetruthisthatboththenandnowinthePremierLeaguesuccesswas achievedwithlittlebloodshed.Relativelyeasysuccesswehavedevelopedbadhabitsthathavemanifestedthemselvesin meetingswiththechampionsofothercountries.

PremierLeaguegrewlikeamonster,whichwasveryattractiveandbringmoremoneytoplayers,agents,andSky Television,whosecurvesaresellingsatellite"dishes"soaredupthroughthefootballbroadcasts.Inresponse,SkyTelevision topumpmoreandmoremoneyinfootball. Isignedhisfirstcommercialcontractwiththesponsor,Diadorabootsearlyintheseason1994-95years.NowIearnmore thanhecoulddreamaboutit. WiththegrowthofthePremierLeaguegrewandcommercialsuccess,accompanyher.Videos,books,sponsorshipdeals andinterviewstopromotetheproductonthemarket.Shop"ManchesterUnited"hasturnedintoasupermarket,andsoon plannedtomakeanetworkofstores.Amongthehypeofthislockerroomandtrainingfieldseemedanoasisofreason. Commitmentbythecoachandhisindefatigabledesiretomoveforwardconstantlyremindedusthatthemainobjectivewas togainthegreatestpossiblenumberofprizes.AlexFergusonfirstcameeverymorningtoworkout.Heremainedonthefield untiltheendofwork.Hedidnotneglectthesmallestdetail.Thecoachwatchedeachplayertryingtofindthedimattributeof appetite,reducedrequirementsfortraininganddisplayofbadhabits.Nothingcouldhidefromitsgaze. InearlyJanuary,coachAndyColegotoutof"Newcastle"for7millionpounds.KeithGillespiecameinthe"Newcastle"inthe frameworkofthistransaction.Colewasagoodscorerinthe"Newcastle".Goalsinthe"United"inrecentyearsseemedan insolubleproblemformanyofthebestscorers.IfAndywouldsucceed,thetransferrecordwillbeplacednotinvain.Ericand  AndreiKanchelskishavebeenstruckbytheopponent'sgatefortheentireseason.MarkHughesalsomadehiscontribution. Sincetheamountoftransferdealsandthesalaryofplayershavereachedastronomicalproportions,devotiontotheclub wasvaluedevenmore.Thepressinconnectionwiththetransitiontoanotherteambecameincreasinglyappearthenames ofourthreeplayers.ItwasrumoredthatPaulIncewasgoingtoItaly.Inaddition,constantlytalkedaboutthedesireofAndrei KanchelskisandMarkHughestofindhimselfanewclub.Andrewsaidaboutallbutthemostdisturbingrumortherewasa messagethatallegedlyshowshimtointeresttheRussianmafia.Ineverknewwhathappenedtohimactually. Onemorning,SteveBrucecameintothelockerroomwithacheckforfifteen"units."Thefirstteamgotabitofmoneyforthe shootingofamovie,andnowtheyhadtobedividedintoeighteenplayers.Tryingtofigureouthowmuchsomeoneowes,we decidedtocastlots,thattheentireamountwenttoone.Inaddition,youcantakeyourpart-about800pounds.Someyoung playersgetsomuchintwoweeks.Theytookmymoney.OnlyPaulScholesandNickyButthavedecidedtogoforbrokeand putitsshareofthetotaljackpot,whichtotaledabout12thousandafterallpayments.Whenwasthedraw,theprizewentto EricCantona.Hegothischeck.Anditsshareofgrins.Thenextmorning,Ericcameupwithtwochecksin6000byPauland Nikki.Thiswastheirrewardforrisk,explainedEric.Itwassolikehim!Heagainstruckbyitsunexpectedmove.Hesmelled ofsomethinghigherandunderstandingofwhatyoungguysneedthemoneymorethanhedoes.Twelve"units"hasbeena lotofmoneyforabeautifulgesture,evenintherelativelyprosperoustimes. Ericshowedonthefieldreallytop-notchfootball.Inamatchwiththe"Blackburn"to"OldTrafford"inwhichwecansay,six pointswereplayed,Ericscoredthewinninggoal.Ifwewinthechampionship,hebeattherecordoffourconsecutiveleague titles-threewithourclubandonewitha"Leeds". Wemeetatapartywiththe"CrystalPalace"-inthismeeting,wemustwin.Webeattheclub3-0athome,andinthismatch, itseemedthateverythingwasdecidedafterthefirstgoalbyEric.IfeltrightandIthoughttomyself:"Thisisapassinggame, noproblem."Buttheeffortsofcompetitorsleadtowhatorderhitsourclass.However,whenthescorewas1-1thereis alwayshope,especiallyforEricthathecancreate,outofnowhere,achanceforagoal. ButEricquarreledwithhisguardian,RichardShaw.Asimplelittlething,nothingserious.ForpullingaT-shirt,violationof rulesandafewwordstoeachother.Onityoushouldnotpayattention,buttherivalisalwaystryingtomisleadinthisway youandEricisheoftengoes. Ericlosescontrolandhitstheshow.Andleavesthefield.Thefansgocrazy."SelhurstPark,"packedtocapacity.Some phrasesthatareheardfromthestands,youcanbeshocking.Racistshoutsslogansaboutthepersonallivesoffootballers (Ericsufferedfromthathard),dirt,becauseofwhichyoustarttothink:whydopeoplegotofootballandevenmockdisaster inMunich!Whatisit?Onlyoneanswer:Englishfootball. WhenEricwenttothelockerroom,thegameresumed.Weareleftwithtenmen.Nowtherealfightbegan.NoEric. Suddenlyonthefarfrommybrow,Inoticedsomeexcitement.Somethinghappened. ThisepisodewillbeaninfinitenumberoftimestoscrollonTVinthecomingweeks.SomeidiottriedtoannoyEricatthe entrancetothetunnel.Ericrepliedimmediately.Butthenheturnedandattackedherabuser.BruceLeewouldbeproudof strokeinthestyleofEric'skungfu.Well,hewasinbootswithoutstuds.Healwaysplayedwithoutathorn. Thegameisover-draw1-1,andinthelockerroomtherewassilence.Thegroupofdirectors,oneofwhich-Maurice Watkins,alawyeroftheclub,carriedoutwithFergusonmeeting.Ericissitting,hangingnose,herfaceburiedinherknees. Policemenstandinthehallway. Myfirstreaction:nothinghappened.Ericwasplayingfair!Iprobablywould,andhedidso.Whenhegothomeandturnedon theTV,Isawthatthejigisup.Itwasaseriousincident,andEric,ofcourse,lostcontrol.Butmyattitudehaschanged.My heartwaswithhim.Alltheguysfeelaboutthesame.Wehavenotslappedhimontheshoulderanddidnotapproveofhis actions,butEricwasagreatguyandwewerenotgoingtoturnawayfromhim. Itisobviousthattheclubwasinserioustrouble.Thecoachwasangry.Forhim,theincidentwasanordeal,especiallywhen thiseverystepofthepresstrumpeted.Lifetimedisqualification!Getoutofthecountry!Pressenjoyed.Withinafewweeks trainingourstadium,"Cliff"wasundersiege.Thegateswereclosed,butreportersscrambletothewallusingropeladders andtakephotos. Ericgaveupandhiredagoodlawyerand"otpahal"bytheverdictofthecourtonpublicworks,spendingafewinteresting exerciseswithlocalkids.Theclubhadnochoicebuttodisqualifyhimuntiltheendoftheseason.It'salloverthefilm.Life goeson,andyousometimeshavetoendurehardships. Wehavewoneightofninesubsequentgames,missingthechampionshipbyjustonegoal,"Everton",whichwelost0-1. ThescandalsurroundingtheCantonhasnotyetsubsided.Hewastoappearbeforeadisciplinarycommitteeandthe associationtopassacourthearingonchargesofassault.Inthesemi-finalsoftheFACupintheopponentswegot"Crystal Palace".Wehaveshownmediocrefootballinthefirstmatchat"VillaPark".Footballers'Palace'practicedfootballinalong

pass,justasJackCharlton'steam,whichisdifficulttoplayagainst,especiallywhensuchtacticsarecombinedwitharigid pressurefromtheopponent.ThematchtookplaceinthecontextoftheincidentfromCanton-thattherewasnodoubt.This wasonhandtocompetitors.Afterextratimethematchendedinadraw-2:2. BeforethereplaycoachtalkedaboutdistractedlyEricwarnedusthatweshouldbecareful:"Actlikeitshould.Youknowthe players,"Palace"areaggressive,donotsuccumb."Easytosaybuthardtodo.Englishfootballisaggressivebynature.This isatoughrealityIfullyfeltinthefirsthalf.DarrenPitcherswipesmeandhurtmyankle.Ithurts.Duringthebreak,thedoctor putsmesevenstitches.ThecoachaskedifIcouldcontinuethematch.Givealookathoweverythingwentatthebeginning everytime,Itellhim.ThisCupsemi-final,Itellmyself,pullyourselftogether.Desire?Fear?Madness?Idonotknow.Lost- andthewholeseasongoesdownthedrain.Theinnervoicethatcallstoavoidconflicts,particularlydangerousforthe players,"United",wherethereisalwayssomeonetodoyourjobinsteadofyou.  Attheendofthefifthminuteofthesecondhalf,thecoachisinterestedintheorderI.Ofcourse,I'mwrong,butIthinkIcan runthroughthepain.Fivemoreminutes?Heagrees.GarethSouthgatetakesmeintoafight,withoutviolatingtherules,butit hurtmyrightankle,whichhasjuststitches.Yestoyou!Igetupandsteponit.Pain,anger,despair.Iknowthatisnotright. "Whatthehellwereyouthinking?"-Askedmetocoach.I'mjustdoingwhatIapologize. MyfirstredcardinEnglishfootballgreatlycomplicateanalreadyunenviablepositionofAlexFerguson.Althoughwebeat the"Palace"withthescore2-0,theresultwasintheshadowofanother"dayofshame""ManchesterUnited".Newspapers demandedthattheassociationtopunishmeforintimidatingothers.Theywerealittleordinarytrehmatchevoydisqualification forremoval.Idisgracedthegameandmustbearanadequatepunishment.NowordonDarrenPitcherandmyankleand sevenjoints.Nounderstandingofwhatwasplayedonthefieldtwoteamsandthatthe"VillaPark"is"CrystalPalace"and not"United"imposeaphysicalfight.EricaLeap-stylekungfuclubandtheresponsetothisisthebackgroundofeverything goingon. BesidesthefactthatEricwasdisqualifiedbeforetheendoftheseason,itimposedamaximumfineof20,000pounds,which wasatwo-weekearnings.However,SirAlexFergusonresisteddemandstoselltheCantonorbreakthecontractwithhim. Thepress,andnotjustsports,anddemandedblood.IfthecoachdoesnotaskEricpepper,thensowillgowiththe newspaperbythecoach.Hedemandedthecourageoftheplayers,andnowhehasdemonstratedthischaractertraitof himself.Hestucktohisopinion,whichinourdressingroomsharedbytheother,that,althoughEricandlostcontrolof himself,hedidnotdoanythingthatwouldputanendtohiscareer. DespitethefactthatAlexFergusonhasalwaysscoldedmeforpersonalcontactinthepresshewasonmyside.OnFriday, afterthegameIattended,alongwithacoachatanewsconference.Iapologizedfortheincidentatthe"VillaPark"and showedreportersadamagedankle.Apparently,shedidnotmakethemanyimpression.Theassociationdidnotoppose thosewhodemandedmyhead.IwasaccusedthatIdisgracedthegame.Duringthehearing,thedisciplinarycommitteein LondonIhaveimposedanautomaticdisqualificationtrehmatchevuyuandafineof5,000pounds."United"hasfinedmefora weeksalary.Well,atleastthatIcanplayintheCupfinal. Thefateofthechampionshipwasdecidedinthefinalround.Ifwebeat,"WestHam","Blackburn"willalsoneedthreepoints to"Anfield".Twentyminutesbeforetheendoftheexpenseofourgameswas1-1.Wehavecreatedanunimaginablesetof momentsforagoal.Theseopportunitiesaremissed,oneafteranother.Thisclearlywasnotourday,andthebillremained unchanged.Butthe"Anfield""Liverpool"scoredthewinninggoalbehindthecurtainofthemeeting."Blackburn"notstandthe test... IntheCupfinal,"Everton"beatus1-0. IfonlyErickeptcomposureto"SelhurstPark!"IhavenodoubtthatwithEric,wewouldhavewonthesecondgolddouble. Butevenwithouthimwecoulddoit,donotspendawesomucheffortandenergybecauseofthescandalanditsaftermath. Iaminfinitelyconfidentthatfootball-ateamgame.Tobecomeagreatcoach,youneedgreatplayers,oratleastplayers withthemostprofessionalapproachtotheirwork.Inordertoachievesuccessasaplayer,youneedtoadvocatefortheright clubattherighttimeandtogetherwithothergoodplayers.AlexFergusontookandtakesdecisionsthatdeterminethefateof theplayers,"ManchesterUnited".Withoutanappropriatestructure,command,orproperpreparationRoyKeaneorDavid Beckham,EricCantona,no,noother"stars"wouldnotshineasbrightlyaspossible,anddofadeaway. Mosttrainersandmanagersdonotcontrol.Theychoosethestaff,buyingplayersimposetheirtacticstoflirtwiththe leadershipoftheclubandthepress.Thentheywerefired.Fergusonisdifferentfromtherest.Heknowsthe"Manchester United"andout;watchingmatchesreservistsascloselyasthegamesandthefirstteam,theplayerknowsabouttheyouth team,hishabits,strengthsandweaknesses,aswellasfootballplayersonfirstteam,onwhichdependsthesuccessofthe club.Heisknownforitsthoroughnessandmeticulouslytoeverydetail.Butwhatdoesthisreallymean? Thatmeans-specialattentiontoallfactorsthatmayaffectthedevelopmentoftheclub:whereyouspentlastnightwith somefriendsyouvodishsyaandwhentorestplayersshowingsignsoffatigueduringtrainingandwhentothrowinayoung player,givinghimtheopportunitytoshowhimselfinthePremierLeaguewhenseasonedveterancannolongercopewith theirresponsibilities,whobuy,selloneandwhentotraveltoawaygames,inwhichhotelwillbetheplayerscalm,butatthe sametimeandnotgetbored,yourdiet,thelatestdevelopmentsinmedicine;solutionofpersonalproblemsplayers- understandingandhumanity,providingeverythingnecessaryto"ManchesterUnited"ofhisplayershavethemaximum supportforconcentratingsolelyonwhatisimportantinanyfootballclub-theresult.Thescopeandscaleofitsactivitiesat theclubisenormous.Therearemanyexamples.That'soneofthem.Realizingtheincreasingpressureontheplayersand theirfamiliesandthen,whatnegativeimpactitmayhave,Fergusonlastseason,orderedtoorganizeanurseryfor"Old Trafford"tohiswife'splayersandtheirchildrencanattendhomegames,feelingcomfort.Itseemstobeapushover,butat thesametimeofgreatimportance,emphasizingtheimportantroleinthelivesoffootballerswivesandgirlfriends.Inthis approachtobusinesslifeplayersbecamealittleeasier. SirAlexFergusoncameeverymorningtoworkout.Hispresencewasfeltevenwhenhewasinhisoffice.Hequietlywenton thefield,laughing,joking,chattingonhismobilephone.Heisalwayswatching,lookingforeitherpositiveornegativesideof playersthatcaredmorethanothersitatthemoment.Two,three,orevenmoreplayershavealwaysbeeninhisfieldof

vision.Whoisleftonthebench,whoputthematch?Whoshouldbecustomizedkicksinthebutt?Whoneedsapatonthe shoulder? SmoothingscandalEricCantonaandatthesametime,thesolutionofdozensofotherpressingmatterswillgiveyoualmost everythingyoueverwantedtoknowabouttheartofgovernanceandAlexFerguson.Ericguiltyofseriousmisconduct.Such circumstanceswereunprecedentedinfootball.Nowheretoonecoachdidnotcomeacrosssuchatest.First,youneedtoset asideatextbookoncoachingandmanagerialarts.Fergusonhadactedsolelyoninstinct.Managementisidentifiedwiththe decision-making,andFerguson'sfirstdecision,whichwillcontinuetoinfluenceallhissubsequentsteps,wasthefactthat, whileEricandlostcontrol,hedidnotdeservealifesentence.Whatwouldthepunishmentforhimnomatterugotovlena,Eric willbeaplayer,"ManchesterUnited". Erichasdonemorethananyoneelse,forFerguson,wonthechampionshipandtwodoubles.Dedicationhasbeenthe cornerstoneprinciplesofFerguson,sohefoughtwithallthegatesoftheclub,rescuinghiscareerEricandmakingevery effortforitsrecovery.Hedidright.And,ofcourse,intheinterestsof"ManchesterUnited"wastokeepEric'stalentathis disposal.Inthistightgameitwasimpossibletoforgetabouttheirowninterests.  Afterreceivingfiercecriticismfromaportionofthenation,EricfledtoFrance.ThecoachwentafterhimandconvincedEric thattheproblemcanbesolved. Forthefootballclub"ManchesterUnited",thismomentwasdecisive.Itwasadefiningmomentinmycareer.Idonotthink anyothermanfootballcouldshowsuchdetermination,skillandstrength,whichshowedAlexFerguson,runningscandalof Canton.Weallwentinfavoroftheeffortandtheresult,whichreachedAlexFerguson.Toallthosewhoservedhisclaimthat hewasresponsible. Thecoachwasagainunderfireinthesummerof1995,thistimewiththefans,"United"andthepresswhenhedecidedto sellAndreiKanchelskis,MarkHughesandPaulInce. FinancialaffairsAndrewwereamystery,whichwasdiscussedatallangles.Atthetime,saidheandcoachquarreled,orthat hewouldliketomovetoanotherclubforthemoney.Inanycase,hewenttothe"Everton"andthenplayedinotherclubs. Thedecisiontosellthreeplayers,professional performitstaskfromAugusttoMayandeventhespeakersforthevariousteams,wasacourageousact.Thepressureatthe beginningoftheseasonforAlexFergusonhasincreasedduetothefactthatEricCantonacouldnotgointooperationbefore theendofSeptember,astheAssociationhasimposedadditionalsanctionsonhim,andnooneknewwhatformitcomes aftereightmonthswithoutfootball.It'sunbelievable,howcouldchallengesuchafrenzyskillscoach,whojustthreeseasons wontwochampionships,theFACup(andevenhisteamtotwoLeagueCupfinalsandEngland,inwhichshelost)andgota double.Butnow,neitherthefansnorthepressdidnotexpectanythingelsefroma"ManchesterUnited",asthetotal superiorityoverourrivals.  AlexFergusonisnowsolvedoneofthemostdifficult,asthefootballpracticeproblems:smoothreplacementofoneofthe championshiptoanotherwithminimallosses.Asimilarploywaspossibleonly"Liverpool",whichhasconsistentlybeenon thecrestofsuccessinthesixties,seventiesandeighties.WithyourluggagetrophiesAlexFergusoncouldeasilychoosetwo ways:donothingortrytostormthehighestpeaks.Difficultandriskydecision,whichheaccepted,wasthattorelyonNicky Butt,PaulScholes,GaryNevilleandPhil,andDavidBeckham.Helikedtoplayonagrandscale,butweknewthelifeinside theclub,sawlessriskinhisdecisionthanthefansandhiscritics.Ifacoachloses,itwillhavetopaytheultimateprice. Weunderstandthatthereactiontotheresultoftheopeningmatchoftheseason1995/96.Welostataparty,"AstonVilla"- 1:3.ThegamewasshownontelevisionintheeveningwhenthecommentatorAlanHansengavehisnowfamousphrase: "Thechildrendidnotwin."Thenewspaperswereequallycaustic. Criticismhurtsstruckbyourvanity.ThefollowingWednesdayweplayedathomewiththe"WestHam".Usuallyitwasa passablegame,butthistimewewerefacingadifficulttask.Wehadtoprovesomethingveryimportanttotheirfans.Meeting with"Liverpool"wouldhavebeeneasierthanwiththe"WestHam"inthesecircumstances.Analyzingthecompositionofour teamtoplaywith,"WestHam",weseeclearlythatinspiteofpopularopinionthatweput"kindergarten",itshouldbenoted thatwehadalotofexperiencedplayers.PeterSchmeichel,GaryPallisterandSteveBruce(whomissedthegamewith "Villa"becauseofthetrauma),asusual,formedakeydefensivetriangle.DenisIrwin,BrianMakkleera,LeeSharpeandI canhardlybecalled"children".InNickyButtandPaulScholeshadenoughexperienceofplayinginthePremierLeague. OnlyGaryNevilleandDavidBeckham,whowaspreparingtoplaytheirseventhgameinthefirstteam,camewithinthe definitionof"children". Nevertheless,wefeelpressure,"WestHam"wassettodobattleon"OldTrafford". Inamatchmarkedbythestruggleofaviscous,Iscoredthegoalthathelpedustoavoidatieandcriticism.Ofcourse, winning2-1athomeon"WestHam"doesnotproveanything. Ericreturnedtotheteamon1Octoberandscoredfromthepenaltyspot,havingbroughtustoapointinthehomematch with"Liverpool".Hewasgoodonthefield,likeayearagothatspokeofhisprofessionalismandcharacter,sinceonlyafew players,especiallythe"legionnaires,"failedtopassthetestsheunderwentforhishitinthestyleofBruceLee(thecriticism againsthimisnotsubside,andduringtheseason). "Newcastle"gavethechampionshipauniqueflavor.KevinKeeganmadehisteamplayintheattack,jumpingoutof cowards.CynicslaughedcavalryapproachKeegantofootball.Imustadmit,admiredhispassion. "Newcastle,"headtable,togetaheadbytenpoints.Matchwithhimwasofenormousvalue.Thegamewaslikehell,the voltagedoesnotgodownallninetyminutes.AndyColeandIscoredonegoalandwewon2-0.Butunfortunately,webriefly camecloseto"Newcastle.""Tottenham,"wedefeatedthe"WhiteHartLane"withascoreof4-1onthefirstdayoftheyear. "Newcastle"stretchedtheirleadtosevenpoints.It'sallover? Criticismofthecoachwasdespise:theolddays,"United"havepassed,wearenolongertheteamthatshoneinthepast, thesummertransferpolicywaswrong,thisteamwillnotbeabletowinthechampionship.  Afterthedefeatofthe"Spurs"Wegaveasensationalseriesoftwenty-threematchesinthePremierLeagueandFACup, whichlostonlyonceataparty,"Southampton."Ericwasintopformandscoredtengoalsinfifteenleaguegames,adding fivemoregoalsintheFACup.

Backlogof"Newcastle"wasbecominglessandless,buthehasachancetogetridofusinearlyMarch,whenwecometo "St.James'Park.It'sarealstruggle,againpassingthroughallninetyminutes.Ericscoredafantasticwinninggoal,despite theadvantagethehometeam.  Afterthisdefeat,itbecameclearthatthe"Newcastle"willnotwinthechampionship.Ifwedonotstumble,we'lltake his.Despitetalkof"children"-thereisnoreasontotalkaboutGaryNevilleasa"child"-inourteamexperiencewasenough tocalmdownordonotpasstooearly.  AtriptoLeedsinApril,tothemostsevere."Newcastle"wastakingwitheachround.KevinKeeganisnowrealizedthatto talkofvictoryismucheasierthantowinonthefield.Itmustbefootballplayers,"Newcastle"prayingthatourmatchwiththe "Leeds"endedwiththeresultstheywant.Wehavereceivedyourthreepreciouspointsaftera90-minutebattle.Ihadtoplug intheirreservesofenergytoscorethewinninggoal.  AfterthescandalwithCantonaandportionsofcriticismhereceivedforthesaleofKanchelskis,HughesandPaulInce,the coachwenttohisgoal.Ithaditsowninterests.OnlyattheendoftheseasonAlexFergusonhaspubliclystatedits displeasurewiththecontract.Atthisstageofhistalkswiththeclubstalled.Itisimpossibletoimagine,butitwastruethatthe playersreceivedahighersalarythanthepersonresponsibleforthesuccessoftheclubmorethananyoneelse.Another doubleaddittrumps. Wehavecompletedthechampionshipwithtwoeasyvictories,beating"Forest"5-0athomeand"Middlesbrough"3-0-ona visit.NowwearewaitingfortheFACupfinalwith"Liverpool"! Fromthedateoffirstarrivaltothe"Wembley"with"Forest",thisstadiumI'veneverwoundup.Thefansweretoofarawayto createtherightatmosphere.Comparedwiththe"OldTrafford","Enfield"or"EllandRoad"gameon"Wembley"washeldasif inavacuum.Thefieldwasstickyanddrainsyouofpower.Allthesestupidceremonybeforethegameonlytakestimeand concentration.Shakinghandswithdignitariesthemtoyouasyouaretothem,didnotcare.Butwemetwith"Liverpool".For usfansof"United"tomeethimintheCupandthechampionship,werethemostimportant. NeutralobserverssaythattheFACupfinalin1996wasboring.Ofcourse,soitmightseem,ifyouhavenotplayedinit.The matchwastoughanddemandedfromyouwithalltheconcentration,youhadtoplaythelastbreath.Myjobwastomanage themiddleofthefield,soasnottogiveplayersa"Liverpool"neithertimenorspace,bringthemdowntotherhythmonthe vinetostopanyattemptsandplanstotakeoverthetopofus.Thefieldof"Wembley"waslargeandhadtoberesponsible foravastterritory,butImanagedtocoverallareas,toenterintocombat,tryingtoconveytotheplayersthemeaningofmy actions:wehavetoworkhard,damnedhardwork.AlongwithNickyButt,wewonthefightforthemiddleofthefield.Nicky wasnotacowardandaperfectfitforsuchwork. Fiveminutesbeforetheendofnormaltimeweownedtheinitiative,whichwasnotreflectedonthescoreboard.Eric,as sometimesthecase,wastoocalm.Wegotrightonthecornerontheright.DavidJamesgetstheball,butonlyknockshimto thepenalty.TheballreboundstoEric.Hewassomehowabletobreakthroughthesummer,andwhilehehadenoughspace toregroup.AmomentlaterIsawtheballflickedintothegrid,andplayers,"Liverpool"bowedtheirheads.  Anotherdouble.Thistimewith"children".Themomentofvictoryisshort-soitshouldbe,butthistimehewasverysweet. Doubleoftheseason1995/96wasrevengeforthecoach.Heachievedsomethingwiththe"children".Ericplayedtheroleof captainintheabsenceofSteveBruce.Afterthefinalwhistle,hepersuadedStevetojoinusingettingtheCupintheroyal box.ItwasatypicalgestureofCanton,whotookSteve,ourcaptain.Oneoftheremarkablefeaturesofsoccer,"United"was thefactthattheyarenotsick,"zvezdnyakom"whichaccompaniedtheglory.WewontheCup,andnobodythoughtdidnot careaboutwhohisfirstlift. FourdaysafterourvictoryintheCupofthenewspaper"ManchesterEveningNews,"publishedarticleundertheheadline "Fergie:I'llgooveradisputeaboutwages."IfFerguson'snewcontractwillbesignedbeforeheleavesonvacation,thecoach willleavetheclub.Infootball,Iwasnothingsurprising.Themanwhobroughtthe"United"allthatispossibleonthedomestic sceneforthepasttenyears,isforcedtoappealtopublicopinion,toconcludethecontract.Itisunlikelythathedeserved suchtreatment.Hereceivedapittance-300000peryear,andthisatatimewhenthegamewasawashwithmoneyfrom thedealswithbroadcasters.Hegothis:thesalarywasincreasedtwice,andyethewaspromisedtheprizeofsuccess! WhenAlexFergusonhasreturnedfromvacation,Isignedanewcontractforanotherfouryearsandwasgladofit.  Ayearlater,willleaveCanton.Aweekafterourfourthwininthechampionship,heannouncedhisretirementfromfootball:"I spentthirteenyearsinprofessionalfootball,whichisthelongterm.NowIwouldliketodosomethingelse.Ialwaysplanned toleave,whileinbloom,andthe"ManchesterUnited"Ireachedthepeakofhiscareer.Inthepastfourandahalfyears,I showedhisbestgameandspenthishappiesttime.Ihadanexcellentrelationshipwiththecoach,hisassistant,employees oftheclubandplayers,andcertainlynotleast,thefans.Iwishthe"ManchesterUnited"toachieveevengreatersuccessin thefuture." MartinEdwardsandSirAlexFergusonpaidtributetoEric.Theclubpresidentsaid:"Iamincrediblysaddenedbythefactthat Erichasmadesuchachoice,butunderstandandrespecthisdecisionandthereasonsthatguided.Manyofusthinkthat Ericwasthecatalystforthemostsuccessfulperiodinourhistory.Thistime,itwastrulyfantastic."SirAlexFergusonadded: "Erichashadanenormousinfluenceonthedevelopmentofouryoungplayers.Hisprofessionalapproachwasamodelfor imitation.HeisundoubtedlyoneofthemostgiftedandmostdedicationofplayerswithwhomIhadthepleasuretowork with.Heleaveswithbestwishesfromus,andwearealwaysgladtoseehimon"OldTrafford".Wewillrecallthattogether." Fanswereshocked.HundredsoffanswithajerseynumberattheseventhEricstoodinmourningfor"OldTrafford".Manyof theeyetears.AsthefuneralBusbyorEuropeancupmatchesin,imbuedwithemotion,theseeventshaveremindedmethat "ManchesterUnited"wasmorethanjustafootballclub.Itwasimpossibletoimaginethatsomethingsimilarwouldoccurnear thestadiumsofotherclubsinBritain. Ericwasaproudman.Ithinkhedecidedthatifhecannotplayforthe"United",thenitcananddoesplayfootball.Iadmired hisaction. WewonthechampionshiplastseasonforEric.  AtthebeginningoftheseasonthecoachhasmadeitclearthattheprimaryobjectiveistowintheChampionsLeague. WalkinginthemajorityofPremierLeaguematcheswerehardlyidealpreparationforthematchwiththebestteamsin

Europe.Forme,theseasonwasmarredbyvariousinjuriesandsuspension.Iwassentoffforasecondwarning,whenwe weredefeatedwithascoreof3:6onthe"Southampton."  Atthistime,asinthepast,Ihavenotfeltsuchhatredforopponents,astohimselfandmates,forthefactthathelosthis head.Matchwiththe"Southampton"isagoodexampleofhowwejustpretendthatweplay,believingthatourclassgivesus thedivinerighttobeatalltherest.Theseattemptstoavoidfightingdrovememad.Therefore,stringentactionandgame selection,fromwhichtheboneswerecracking,Itriedtosomehowmakethematchanelementofcompetitionand competitiveness.Icouldlivewithdefeat,butnotwiththedelivery.Ifwelose,"Southampton",thenwhat,tohell,achancewe willhaveameetingwith"Juventus"(which,asoftenhappened,andwasouropponentinthefirststageoftheChampions League)?Understandingthatyoucannotcontrolthephysicalstateastheswitchlightbulbs,ledmetodespairduringgames liketheonethattookplaceonthe"Dell".Asaresult,Ihaveeitherremovedfromthefield,orarguedwithteammates.  Anyplayercanupscalethegametotuneinto"Anfield"or"Highbury".Buttobefullypreparedtomeetwith"Southampton" fromthePremierLeaguewasquiteanothermatter.Inmymindyoualreadyappropriatesthreepointsbylookingatthe scheduleofmatches."Enfield":therewillbeheavy.'Highbury':anotherimportantgame."Coventry":Well,allright. "Southampton":noproblem."WestHam":shouldallturnout."Sunderland":aneasywalk. "Juventus'! Thefirstmatchwiththe"Bianconeri"hasclearlydemonstratedwherethelurkingthreat.OnSaturdaybeforethegamewe defeatedtheEuropeanclub,"Leeds'4-0to"EllandRoad".NextSaturdaywebeatathome,"NottinghamForest"-4:1.In Turin,asinthethroughWednesdaybetweengamesofthePremierLeaguewelost0-1inaninterestingmatch. DuetoinjuryImissedthegame.ButIhaveacquiredtheknowledgeaccumulatedontheriseatthattime,asIwatchedthe matchesfromthesidelines. Eric,frankly,couldnotcompetewithEuropeanteams-anditconcernedusall.AsIhavealreadyadmitteditwasagreaton thedomesticsceneandareideallysuitedtoEnglishfootball,wherehiscomposureandtechnicalskillgavehimaheadstart intsarivshemaroundchaos.AgainstthebackgroundofflyingbodiesandrapidcoldrolledupthemindofEricwasavaluable asset.Andsincewewereoneofthebestinthecountry,hecouldnotworryabouttherearandattimesallowedhimselfto avoidthefightandgiveusthedirtywork.SometimesIthought:"Eric,whatthefuck,youlazybastard!"Andafteramoment orafewsecondsbeforethesewordswerereadytobreakoutofmymouth,asifhewavedhismagicwandandscoredeither gaveanassist. ThissituationsuitedusintheleagueandFACup.InEurope,wasafootball-amoredemanding.Eventhemostmodestby Europeanstandardstheteaminmeetingswithusfeelthemselvesmastersofthesituation.Thiswasthemainthing.They're usedtowinningandgettingthedesiredresultfortheopponent.AgainsttheViennese"Rapid"orcommandssuchas "Brøndby"wecouldachievesuccesswithEric.Butnotinthemeetingswith"Juventus","Bavaria",orwithquiteordinary,but highlyprofessionalclubs,like"Gothenburg",whichwonus3-1andknockedoutofthetournamenttwoseasonsago. BeinginfinitelyusefulingamesandtheCupchampionshipinEngland,scoringwinninggoalsuncountable thenumberoftimesEricdidnotshineinEurope.IcannotthinkofasingleEuropeanCupmatchinwhichhecouldturnthe tideofthegame.InEurope,you'realittleaddsmomentum.Attentiontoitselfdrewnotonlyhigh-profileplayerssuchas Zidane'sattackingplanorDelPiero,butstrong,cleveradvocates-theguys,ofwhichnobodyheard,withgoodspeedand theabilitytoblockallapproachestorivaltheirgatesintimetomakeadecisionandenterintheselectionoftheideal accuracyandinstinctivelyholdingtherightpositionindefensiveformations,aswellasreadinggreatgame.Ericwasnotable tocopewithitandtakeprecedenceoversuchplayers.ThesuccessinEuropewasnowthemaintaskof"Manchester United"AlexFerguson. Ourexitfromthegroup,whichplayeda"Rapid"(Vienna),"Fenerbahce"and"Juventus",wasnotwithoutahitch.Afterlosing inTurin,webeat"Rapid"inhisfieldand"Fenerbahce"ataparty.ThencamethechampionsofTurkeyon"OldTrafford"and won.Thisdefeatathometobecomethefirst"United"forfortyyearsofparticipationinEuropeancompetition.Thevictory virtuallyensuresusaplaceinthequarterfinals,but"Fenerbahce"leftusnochance.Thisclubisagoodexampleofso-called medium-sizedEuropeanteams,Italkedaboutearlier-withoutbignames,butstrong-mindedprofessionalsworkinginfull forceduringthewholeseason,notleavingtheprisoners-especiallyondefense.Wecouldnotsoeasilycreatechancesat thegoalnetasitwasinthePremierLeague.Footballers'Fenerbahce'wereabletocontroltheball,forcingustorunafter him.ButtheywereonlychampionsofTurkey!Nevertheless,theyrefusedtosurrender,asdidmanyEuropeanclubs,who cameto"OldTrafford".Seekingbyallmeanstowinthevictory,runninglikeawound,wegothitinthetwelveminutesbefore theendofthegame.TheballricochetedfromDavidMay,andSchmeichelwasleftnochance.0-1.Everything.Nowwe neededtoplaywith"Juventus"and"Rapid"andfightforthedesiredresult. Manyshooktheirheadsinthelockerroom:"Howcouldthishappentous?"Footballersonlythenthinkabouttheirgame.But sometimes-notalways-theanswerlieshere.Ifyouplaygoodenoughandhasallthenecessaryqualities,andthatwehad nottakenaway,thendefeatisusuallyexplainedonlythineownmistakes.Neitherthejudgenorluck,northerebound,no matterhowcomfortingthisexplanationofyourfailure.Insuchcasesthequalityoftheseprofessionals,suchasBryan Robson,SteveBruceandDenisIrwinhavebecomeinvaluabletoyourteam.Theyknowwheretofindtheanswer.The coachknowsittoo.Thatiswhyheisallthathedeservedandearned.  Afterthematch,with"Fenerbahce",hestoodsidebysidewhendealingwiththepress.Noluck,etc.etc.Recordshouldbe thesameeverbeentofall.Inanycase,itonlyafflictedus.We'llbeback,etc.etc.Maybewemissedthechanceofreaching thequarterfinalsfourdaysago.Inamatchwith"Southampton."Three-in-hell-six.0:5Andbefore"Newcastle."HowisitthatI lostmyheadonthe"Dell"andearnedaredcard?BecauseIknewthatthisdidnotgoaway.Ifeltinmyheartthatcannotbe likethisvyezhivatsyawith"Southampton",andthencollectalltheirreservesinamatchwiththisteamfourdayslater.Itwill notwork.Maybesometimesithappens.Butthe"ManchesterUnited"isnot"sometimes".Weplayorshouldplayinthestyle ofshirt-puton-to-make-my-job-to-end. Ifigureditoutbylookingatmyfamilyandfriends-fansof"United".Threetosix"Southampton"!Theycouldnotstickhis noseoutofthehouse.Peoplelaughedatthematwork.Theboys,whowererootingforus,wereconfoundedinandoutside school.Ridicule,smirks,podnachivaniya.Toomanyplayerstoforgetaboutwhatitmeansdefeatforthosepeoplewhose

moneywe'replaying.Wepaidforustoplay.Platyat.Playfor"ManchesterUnited".Thefans,thesefans,layouttheirmoney tosupportus.AndwecannotstirfootinamatchagainstMattLeTissier! 0:1defeatinTurin,hasmeantthatwehavetobeatthe"Rapid"inViennaandhopeto"Juventus"hasnotlostathome, "Fenerbahce".Atthistimewedonotrepeat"deed"withthe"Southampton",winningthe"Leicester"3-1onSaturdaybefore thegamewiththe"Rapid".InthematchagainsttheAustrianswefoundourselvesagoodteam.Thecoachsetmeataskto takecareofthemostdangerousplayerinthe"Rapida"-Kyubauera.Thetaskwascarriedoutwith2:0(goalsscoredRyan andEric),butIstillfeeltheapproachofdanger.TheynearlyscoredwhenKuhbauerbrokethroughtoourgate.Icaughtup withhimandenterintoaselection.Successfully.Itsthornscutmyleg.JustbelowthekneeIimposenineteenstitches.  Anothermonthonthesidelines."Juve"didthetrick.Wehavepassedon.Meetthe"Port"inthequarterfinals.  Asiffromnowheretherewasanotherproblem.TocopewiththetaskexitinthequarterfinalsoftheChampionsLeague,we wereonlyabletoreduceourdrawthenexttwochampionshipgamesagainstthe"WestHam"and"Sheffield Wednesday".Thenwelost,"Sunderland"justfourdaysafteritdefeatedthe"Port"4-0athomeinthefirstmatchofthe quarterfinals.WewenttothesemifinalsoftheChampionsLeaguebutthePremierLeaguewecaughtupwiththecrisis.Asif toaggravateoursituation,welostahomegame"Derby"withascoreof2:3,fourdaysbeforethefirstlegsemi-finalin DortmundAway"Borussia". Wehaveachievedwhattheywanted-tobeonestepawayfromwinningtheChampionsLeague.ButIfeelthatoneortwo playersofourteamarebeginningtopass.Surprisingly,perhaps,andnotEric-oneofthem.DespitethefactthatErichas donesomuchforus,hehasnothadachancetospeakfortheFrenchteam.Heisastarinthe"United",butifwedonot succeedinEurope,themeritsofEricwillneverbeputinonenumberwithatrulygreatEuropeanplayers.Europeanarenais therealmeasureofskillplayers.MaybeEriccannotwinit.Andwillnotever. Butwhileweattheheightofthematchwiththe"Borussia"invisit.Ericmissesagreatchance.NickyButtgetsthepost.On thewaytotheball,sentDavidBeckhamgetsbackwhenthegoalkeeperispowerlesstohelphisteam.Allgoestoagoalless draw,andthedenouementhascometo"OldTrafford".Fourteenminutesbeforetheendofthemeeting,Ericrefusestofight inthemiddleofthefield.Tretshok,withwhomhecouldnottaketheballforwardbreaks,beats,andtheballchangesits trajectory,hittinghisleg,GaryPallister.Gol.Perhapsitwasatthispoint,itwasdecidedthefutureofEric. Fourdaysbeforethereturnmatch,weperformedadifficulttaskinthePremierLeagueto"Anfield",whichwonthe "Liverpool"3-1. HavingreceivedayellowcardinDortmund,Imissedthereturnmatchat"OldTrafford".DespitetheGermansagoodgame,I thoughtwecouldbeattheminfrontoftheirfans.Butbyskippingtheballintothebeginningofthemeeting,wehadtoscorea completevictoryforthreeoftherulesoftheguestgoal.Butnotwiththegameatthislevel.Inthemiddleoftheline"Borussia" rantheScotsmanScottLambert,Kohlerledthedefense,buttheirbestplayerAndreasMoellerhasalwaysbeenfocusedon thegoal.Withtheseplayerscouldnotplaypeacefullyrival.Iwasincrediblyhardtositonthebenchandwatchthegame, IcouldnotdoanythinginamatchthathadburiedourhopesofreachingtheChampionsLeaguefinal.Whenthe"Borussia" thenwonthefinals,"Juventus",weareatleastabletoconsolemyselfwiththethoughtthathadateamthatwasalmostable tobecometheclubchampionofEurope. ButwebecamechampionsofEngland.EricCantona,SteveBrucehasreplacedthepostofcaptainoftheclub.Now,afterhe leftthisplaceagainremainedvacant.Immediatelybegantowonder,whosecandidacywilloffercoachascaptain.Peter Schmeichel,GaryPallister,DenisIrwinandGaryNevillewereobviouslyprimecandidatesforthepost.Iwassurprisedwhen  AlexFergusonchoseme.Offercaptaincyin"ManchesterUnited"wasahugecompliment,andofcourse,theappropriate duty.OnthefieldIwassurethatcopewiththeirgoal.However,themissionconsistedofthecaptainanddiplomaticduties outsidethefieldthat,inmyview,wasfarmoreseriousproblem.Oneofthefavorablecircumstancessurroundingtheworkof thecaptain,wasthedistributionofticketsformatchesaswellastherecreationroomofplayers.IfIhadpesteredtheir requestsBryanRobson,SteveBruceandEric,nowtheotherplayerswillharassmylocation. WiththedepartureofEricCantona,welostavoiceofaprofessional.Lockerroomhaschangedmarkedlysincemyarrivalat theclubfouryearsago.Sincethen,theleftBryanRobson,SteveBruce,MarkHughes,PaulInce,andnowitistheturnof Canton.Eachofthesehigh-profileplayersonewayoranotherwasahighlyinfluentialfigurebothonthefieldand beyond.Overallsizeoftheirimpactwasdifficulttodetermine,exceptthatintheabsenceoftheseplayers,ourlockerroom andlookyoungerlongerlookedsohardenedinbattle. InplaceofEric'swasboughtfromTeddySheringham,"Tottenham".Teddycameinhisfirsttrainingsessioninthered "Ferrari",andallaspectsofhisconductbetrayedinhimaconfidentLondoner.TeddyandIhaveknowneachotherforjoint actionforthe"Forest".Relationsbetweenuswerenoteasyalways.Progressinourcommunicationandnotcometo"Old Trafford".Teddydoesnotstandoutinhisfirstseasonattheclub,buttimewilltellwhathisacquisitionwasaverygood bargain.Sheringhamwasahellofagreatplayer-hecanscoreandgiveassists.Thefactthatwedidnotgetalongwith eachother,nomatterwherewewentonthefield. Wewonthefirstofficialmatchundermycaptaincy,winning"Chelsea"inthepenaltyshootoutintheCupseason.Westayed unbeatenineightleaguematchesatthestartof1997/98season,andeasilybeatvisitingSlovak"Kosice"inthefirstgameof theChampionsLeague. ForSaturday'sawaymatchwiththe"Leeds"Icameupwithacompletelackofplayingtone. DuringthematchseveraltimesIcameacrossAlfieHolland.Hewhetmefromthebeginningofthegame.Istillcouldnot acceptthebelatedrolledup,whichheused-itwasanintegralpartoffootball.Butotherthings,suchasclingingtotheshirt andbutting,whenIwaswithouttheball,knockingmeoffbalance.SometimesevenHollanddidnotwatchthegame,butjust ranoverme.Ithoughtthatcoach,"Leeds'DavidO'Leary,whoknewhowtogetme,putinfrontofHollandthistask. Fiveminutesbeforethefinalwhistle,whenwewerepressingonthemthepenalty,I'mdesperateattackonHolland.Itriedto puthisbandwagon,butnothit.Iknewthatprobablywillearnawarning,butthat'shell,itturnedoutthathehadservedits purpose.WhenIslidonthegrass,myspikeshavetouchedtheturf.Ievenheardthecrackofmyligaments.Agonizingpain hitmeinaninstant.Hollandstoodovermeandshouted:"Goodtopretend!Getup!".HispartnerUezerollgesturesshowed thesamething.Iknewwhathappenedthatsomethingveryserious,butwasnotsurewhatitwas.Thejudgeshowedmea

yellowcard,whenIwasledtothebrow.DaveFevre,ourdoctor,triedtogetmeoutofthefield.However,wehavealready usedallthreesubstitutions,soIfinishthegamewasthefinalminuteofthematch.Whenlimping,Ileftthefield,David O'Learytriedtocalmmedown. "Fuckyou,Dave.Youputthisbastardtomespecificallytobringoutofbalance"-Ithought. Inthelockerroomcamethedoctor,"Leeds".SignLanguagedoctorstoldmethattheworsthashappened-Ilostmycruciate ligament.DaveFevre,whoworkedasadoctorintherugbyclub,"Wigan",recognizetherelevantsymptoms.Cruciateinjury isafrequentphenomenoninrugbybecauseofthehardnatureofthisgame. Injuryprovokedandmynightlyadventures.Pricethathadtobemoredetermined.IreturnedtoManchestertostudyatthe hospitalatWhalleyRangeBUPA.Onthewayhomeinourbus,Iprayedthatinjurywasnotasseriousaswastheinitial verdictofdoctors.Thatsameevening,withoutunnecessarydelay,Davetookmetothehospital.Theconsultant,whospent aninitialinspection,didnotseemattunedtooptimistic.DoctorssentmehometellingmetocomebackonMonday,andthen theyvskroyutkneeandinspectionofthedamagedzone. OnSunday,DenisIrwindrovemycartothehousefromthe"OldTrafford",whereIhadleftit.Thekneeswelledandgrew almosttothesizeoftheballoon.Thepainwasunbearable.Iknewthattheplungeinearnest.ExaminationonMonday confirmedmyfears.Iwassenttoremedialcoursestosixweeks,Ibuildmusclemassneededforfurtheroperations.Even afterninematchesofmyseasonwasover.Andmaybethewholecareer.PaulGascoignewasnottheonlyplayerwhofailed toreturntopreviouslevelsaftersurgeryforcruciateligamentreconstruction. WithhisexperienceinworkingwiththerugbyDaveFevreknowwhattodoandwhatnottodotofullyrecover.Inthe rehabilitationprocesshasitsownphysicalandpsychologicalaspects.AftersurgeryIspentinthehospitalforthreedays.  AfterthatIstartedalong,difficultandpainfulprocessofrestoringphysicalcondition. OnceIcametoLeeSharpe(nowitstoodfor"Leeds").Healsodamagedkneeligamentsinafewweeksaftermyinjury.I lookliketohearhowtopromotehiscause."I'malmostflying-washisreply.-Irun,Ibeatontheball-almostreadytoplay." Inabouttwohourswesattogetherandreminiscedthegoodolddays,andIthought:God,I'mfarbehindonwheremight alreadybeifLeerunsandrunswiththeball.Whenhestoodup,thennearlycollapsed."Imusthavespentaleg"-Leelied unconvincingly.Hewenttohislimping"Porsche",jumpedintothecaranddroveaway.Withalightheart,afterallseen,Itold Daveallthenextmorning."Apparently,hewasinahurry,Roy.Donotworry,wecometohispurpose"-heassuredme. WhenIbegantoengageinplayfiveonfive,guysweretryinghardnottoplaywithme.Itistooeasyforme.SoDaveFevre calledtheteamandsaidthattheyshouldnotdomeanyfavors.Deprivehimtheball.Andsoon,everyonestartedtorushme intotheselectionprocess.I'mback...well,almost.Inthelastweekoftheseason,"Arsenal"hadacquiredthetitle.Ifigured thatIcouldplayinourlastchampionshipgamewiththe"Barnsley".Fortunately,thedoctorsdidnotwanttohearaboutit.  Afterrestingforanothersixweeks,Iflewinthepreparatorytrainingsessionsandmatchesbeforetheseason1998/99.We wentonatourofScandinavia.Inmyabsence,theteamcaptainwasPeterSchmeichel.Thecoachtoldmethathewouldlike tohavePeterremainedcaptain'sarmbandforthetour.Iwasnottoopleasedwiththatmessage,andevenmoresowhenthe gamebeforetheCupoftheseasonagainstthe"Arsenal"to"Wembley"Schmeichelshowednosignsthathewasreadyto returnmycaptain'sarmband.Intheend,thecoachorderedhimtoobey.Heyieldedandbecamedarkerclouds."Arsenal" scoredtwogoalsandlungwonthematch3-0.Afterthegame,thecoachcalledateamandencouragedPetertogrowup anddonotplayinchildren'stoys. Thedesiretocoachforsuccesshasbecomeevenmorenoticeablewhenhebrokethetransferrecordofcentraldefenders JaapStaminbuying"Eindhoven".HealsohadacquiredJesperBlomqvistin"Parma".Whenthe"United"broketheBritish transferrecordbybuyingYorkfor12.6millionpoundsintheclubreallystartedtofeelthewindofchange.Withsuchastrong line-upinautumn1998,onecouldhardlyexpecttheplayerstobecomplacent.Noonewasguaranteedaplaceatthebase, whichinmyopinion,itwasonlyonhandforthedevelopmentoftheclub.Nowweweresofedupwithsuccessonthe domesticscene,thatwewerehurt,whenitcomestothisprize-theChampionsLeague. PurchaseDwightYorkewasoneoftheboldestmovesonthepartofAlexFerguson.Asitturnedout,BrianKiddwas skepticalaboutthefactthatNewYorkcanjustifylaidoutforhimthesumofit,hesaidbluntly.Asheadcoach,Kiddsaid directlythatwhatIwasthinking.Tobehonest,IdidnotthinkthatNewYorkcanscoreasmanygoalsasexpectedofhim, thoughnodoubtinhisabilitytoappealtotheballandthatthedefendersoftheopponentwillhavetoworkhardtobe"close". JaapStamprovidereliabledefense.ItwasjustwhatweneededwiththedepartureofGaryPallisterto"Middlesbrough". SteveBruce,GaryPallisterandcreatedatandem,largelythankstowhichoursuccesshasbeenachievedinthepast.In StamandRonnyJohnsen,whowasacquiredtwoyearsagotoreplaceBruce,hadenoughexperience. OleGunnarSolskyarcameto"United"fromtheNorwegian"Molde",atthesametimeastheJohnsen.Itcosttheclubjust1.5 millionpounds,and,perhaps,thisdealwasthebestinclubhistory.Theycalledhimamurdererwiththefaceoftheboy,and it'strue-hewasamurderer,andhewastheboy'sface.Whenhefirstcametothegymandwentalongwithateampicture taken,Ithoughthewasoneofthestudentswhoaresufferingfroma"United".Hecouldgivesixteen.Butwhenitgottothe ball,Irealized-it'sallunderstood-whatanextraordinarymasteryofthefinalstageoftheattackhehad.Olecouldand scoredwithanydesiredposition.Hebecameafavoriteinourdressingroom,beingniceandatthesametimedemonstrating themostprofessionalapproach.Olelongersitonthebench,fightingforaspotinthestartinglineupwithAndyCole,Dwight YorkeandTeddySheringham.Buthenevercomplained,andwhenhehadtheopportunity,almostalwaysdoingwhatis requiredofhim.Inateamgame,despiteallthehypesurroundingsomeoftheplayers,whichisandwillremainafootball, theimportanceofprofessionalssuchasOlealwayspriceless.Soitisforus. Iregainformafterafewmatches.ButIwasnotthelunatic,whowashuntingforAlfieHolland(althoughIdidnotforgethis insulttomyaddress,asIlayonthelawn"EllandRoad").Inowappreciateeverymomentofthegamebothduringmatches andintraining.NowI'llshakehismusclesinthegym.Irealized-whatIneverrealizeduntillastseason-thatyourtimein footballislimited.Thingscanonlyendinonestrokeintheselection,andyourcareerwillgointothepastintheblinkofan eye.  Anotherradicalchangeoccurredinmylifestyle.

Returningtothesystem,Ihadalottoprove,andnotonlythatIwasingreatshape.AsentryintotheseasonIstartedtoplay thebestfootballofhislife.Thiswaslargelyduetostrongerplayersaroundme.Defensivelinedidnotcausefear-Gary NevilleandDenisIrwinhaveactedinthepositionofthelastdefendersandJaapStamandRonnyJohnsenhavean excellentunderstandinginthecenterofdefense.Inmidfield,PaulScholes,NickyButtandIrarelyinferioropponentin martialarts.DavidBeckhamandRyanGiggshaveusedadiversearsenalofoffensiveweaponsonbothflanks.AndyCole andDwightYorkewerefriendsoffthefield,buttoprotecttheopponenttheyrepresentedadoublethreat.Nowthatwehave preachedteamfootball,PhilNeville,TeddySheringhamandOlegaveusagreathelpwhenthetimecametojointhebattle. UEFAclubcompetitionmatches-ourAchilles'heel-nowwerenotsocomplicated.ThechampionshipofthePremier Leagueinsecondplace,wehadtogothroughqualifyingroundsoftheChampionsLeague,whichmetwiththePolishteam, "Vidzy."Weareeasilycopedwithitstask.Asaresult,gotintoastronggroup,whichplayed"Brondby,""Barcelona"and "Bavaria".Wedefeatedthe"Brøndby"athome(5-0)andaway(6-2)andtiedwith"Barcelona"and"Bavaria".Draw-3-3on the"NouCamp"showshowfarwe'vegoneafterthedefeatwiththescore0-4atthesamestadiumin1994.Inamatchwith "Bars"DwightYorkehasissuedadouble,andColescoredonegoal. InthePremierLeaguechampion"Arsenal"areourmainthreat.Heoutplayedus3-0at"Highbury"inSeptemberandearned abonuspointfor"OldTrafford"inFebruary.FourgamesinfourteendaysofAprilhavedecidedthefateofourseason. Playingathomewith"Juventus"inthefirstsemifinaloftheChampionsLeaguehasbecomearealchallenge.Wedonot showagoodgame.Conteledthehostsaheadandscoredanimportantgoalguest,RyanGiggsandrescuedusfromthe predicament,thelast-minuteequalizer.Priortothishomegamethecoachsuddenlydecidedtoleavetheteamforthenightin thehotel"MottremHill,"afive-minutewalkfromwhomlivedmanyplayers.Detail.Alwaysinthought.It'ssolikehim.Afterthe gamewereturnedtoourhotelfordinnerandhadateammeeting.Atthemeeting,itwasalotofunpleasantwords.Becks andGiggshasgotitsowndoseofcriticismforwhattheyfailedtocomplywithasufficientamountofworkwithouttheball. Thenitwasmyturn.I'mfairly"pushed"byDenisIrwinforsomeofhismistake,priorgoalopponent.Denissaid.Thecoach suggestedthatIapologize.No,Iwasstandingonhisown.Ifwecometoanalyzethegame,let'sanalyze. "Sorry." "No". Theatmosphereistenseforsometime.Irefusedtoapologize.Thenwewenttosleep.DennisandI,asalways,sharedone room.Wecanhandleuptohim.Idonotapologize,butwelaughedaboutwhathadhappened.Dotheplayersthemselves sometimesasachild?Ofcourse.Theyshouldbekids-otherwisetheywillthinkthattheonlypartofthegame.Andwho knowswhatcancausethesegames!(Nottowin,soitisexactly). Fourdayslater,wemetwith"Arsenal"inthe"VillaPark".Itwasafightofcharacters,forthatmatter,andsoccerschools. Neitherteamwasunwillingtogiveup,andthematchendedinadraw-0:0.Inextratime,nothinghaschanged.Replay, whichtookplacenextWednesday,willberememberedforalltheincrediblewinninggoalintheperformanceofRyanGiggs. Weplayedwith"Arsenal",thereigningchampionofEngland,whobeatus3-0at"Highbury"andadraw-1:1tothe"Old Trafford".Forustoremovethemfromthescalpwasveryimportant.Thevictoryovertheminthismatchbecameanendin itself.Howthehellwearegood? RyanGiggsgoalwassimplyamazing.Thiswasakeymomentforusthatseason.Victoryoverthe"Arsenal"tenmen(Iwas sentoffforasecondyellowcard)despiteallprovedthatwewerearealteamthathasararepropertytofindthestrengthto achievethedesiredresult,whenneeded.Sometimeseventhe"ManchesterUnited"toconfirmtheirqualities,butsuch victoriesareirrefutableproofofthis.  Aweeklater,againinTurin,wehadtopassadifficulttestofourabilityanddetermination."Juventus"wasnecessaryonly goallessdraw.KnowingthementalityoftheItalians,wewereawarethattheyarelikelytobeclosedinthedefenseand offeredustoattack.Withinsixminutesofthesediscussionscanbeforgotten.Inzaghiwasleftunattendedatthefarpostand struckthegatewithease.Fourminuteslater,hedevelopedasuccess.Anyonewhowouldliketohangoutthewhiteflag, hadagreatopportunity.Thosewhowantedtoprovethattheydeservetoplayfor"ManchesterUnited",alsohadthedamn chance.Itisinmomentslikefootball-andanykindofsport-turnsintoastruggleofintellects.Asfaraswewerestrong intellectually?Howmuchhasbeenstronginthisregard,"Juventus"? Ofcourse,thegoalsagainstwerebadnews.Thegoodnewsandpositiveresponsetoourpositionwasthatthefrontwas anothereightyminutesoffootball.Wefellbehindontwogoalsonaggregate.However,ifweequalize,thenpassonthanks tothebestdifferenceguestheads. WhenwestartedwiththecenterofthefieldafterthesecondgoalInzaghi,Imadeaquickcalculationinmyhead.Anyidiot canstartafrenzytojumpanopponent'sfeet,takingawaytheballand,usingaheap,tryingtoscoreaquickgoalinthis situation.Butitwillnotworkingamesagainstteamssuchas"Juventus".Lookingatourteam,itwaseasytogetapositive chargeduetotheabilitytoscoreconfidenceofmanyofourplayers.NewYork,Cole,Beckham-allofthemhadtheabilityto hittheopponent's(andScholescouldscoreagoalortwo,comingonassubstitute).That'susitwasnecessarytore-show theItalianswhat.Thereforeitwasnecessarytoselectandplaytheball,increasingthetempo,useapairofreceptionsinthe selection,changethecourseofthegame.Stepbystepwewereabletoreversethesituation."Juventus"calmeddown, scoringtwogoals.Theyallowedustoimposeourgamemeasured.Whenwetunedupthepace,theydidnotreacttoit.Ifelt thattheyfellintothetrapofcomplacency.Iwassurethattheywouldratherbehappytokeepwhattheyhaveandnottryto scoreagoal,whichwilldecidetheoutcomeofthematch.Wegainedspeed.Dotheyhaveenoughstrengthandcapabilities todeter"ManchesterUnited"?  Astheeventsinthefirsthalfwedominatedmorenoticeableinopenplay.Withacertaintouchofthegrotesque,Ibeganto enjoytherace,whichhasnowbecomeagame.Weneededtoscoreagoalbeforethebreak.Becksransubmitacorneron theleft.Istartedtomovenearthebar.Itwasalittleadventure-Ihavenothammeredyourheadafteracornerstillwithmy performancesat"Rockmount".Youneedluckwhenyoucountthetimeabreakthroughinthepenaltyarea,butfirstyouneed tomakeabreakthrough.Ididso.FilingBeckswasdoneperfectly.Ijustspentaballthroughtheeyesofanet. Balanceofthematchwasbroken.Theywereafraidofus.Wehadtheinspirationandmethodicallyconcentratingdialing speed.BeforethebreakItriedtocatchtheball,whichwasstartedJesperBlomqvistinaccurate,butZidaneaheadofme.It

wastoolate,Iaccidentallyranintohimandwefell.Yellowcardshutoutofthewaytothefinal.ButIwassoengrossedinthe gamethatcompletelyforgotaboutalltheimplicationsofwarning.Asinthegamewith"Arsenal",avictoryhereandnowan endinitself.Wewerenotinthefinal.Butifwedonotgetthedesiredresulthere,thatofnofinalsandnoneedtoworry about. Theyweretwostepsawayfrombeingabletomissthevictory-we'veseenitintheireyes,anditforcedustogoforward. NewYorkandColetormentedthemfourdefenders.ThespeedandcunningDwightandAndyarenowmanifestinallits glory.GoalscoredbyDwight,wasorganizedwiththefilingofAndy.Withthescore2-2,wewentintothefinal.Rivalwasalso dozhat.Zidane,DeschampsandDavidsmissedanopportunitytolevelthescore.IwenttoDavidsinastruggleinwhichthe chanceswereequal,andpickedtheballwithease. WhenColescoredourthirdgoal,IrealizedthatIwillmissthefinal.ButthenIdidnotcare(latereverythingwillbedifferent).I wasproudofhisteamthatnight,proudofhimself,satisfiedthatjustifieditsexistenceasateamandpaytheirdebtscoach,  justifiedhisconfidence.Ifiguredthat"ManchesterUnited"ontherighttoplayintheChampionsLeaguefinal.Ifeltthatitwas ofgreaterimportancethanthequestionofwhetherIplaythere. Sunday May16,1999 Weare,aseveryoneknows,injustthreegamesawayfromthehistorictreble.Everythingwassimple:tobeattoday,"Spurs' win"Newcastle"to"Wembley"innextSaturdayandtakeprecedenceoverthe"Bavaria"intheresultingenvironmentin Barcelona,andwewillachievewhathasnotyetmanagedanyteaminthemodernfootball.Butthereareother developmentsthatmaygiverisetoheadlinessuchas"United"profukannyhtreble"or"BoysDonotFergieagainpassedthe Europeantest." HithertothisseasonIhaveallwentwell.Ayearago,IwasnotsureIcanplayagain.Becauseofonestupidreception againstAlfieHollandIcouldlosethehonorofwearingthecaptain'sarmband,andhastwenty-sevenofmecouldonlyspeak inpasttense.Imadeamistakeandlearnedhislesson.Really?Notreally.Whentheguyswillgooutonamatchwith "Bavaria"onthe"CampNou",I'llsitonthefuckingrostrum.Why?AnotherstupidreceptionagainstZidaneinthegamewith "Juventus"anddoesnotnecessarilypreventadisputewiththereferee,whenwemetwiththe"Inter"! Weneedtobeattoday,"spurs."UndertheleadershipofGeorgeGraham,theytrytoimposeonushardfootball,willtryto cheat.Butifweplayourowngame,webreakthem.Weknowthatwillnotgiveanyteamintermsofongoingefforts,then wouldaffecttheclass.Afterall,wehaveBecks,RyanGiggs,DwightYorke,  AndyCole,PaulScholes,Teddy.Wefeelastrongdesiretowin,andthisshouldbesufficient. Wehearthecrowdroaroutsidefans.Theyaredeterminedtocelebratethevictory,happilywaitingforanothergreateventat "OldTrafford",anothertitle. Weareheretowork.Footballatthatlevel,whichis"ManchesterUnited",isatoughbusiness.Yes,therewardisgreat.You canearnlotsofmoneyhereandbeahero.Butyoucanbeandlosers,whichiseverywherehumiliated,inclinepress,fans boo,orsimplywithdrawnfromthecompositionoftheteam,whichisequaltopublichumiliation,concerningnotonlyyoubut alsoyourfamily,wife,children,mothers,fathers,brothersandsisters. Inthisclub,amomentofweaknesscanleadtoshame.Anegativeresultinmatcheswith"Real"and"Bavaria"isconsidered afailure.Tobefair,thisisafailure.Thefailureandinabilitytojustifythelevelthatwassetbythosewhocameto"Old Trafford"toyou,MattBusby,BobbyCharlton,GeorgeBest,DenisLaw,theteam,whodiedinaplanecrashinMunich, BryanRobson,EricCantona.ItisbecauseofthemIwantedtoplayforthe"United".Thankstothemabouteverymatch, "ManchesterUnited"createdastir.Everyoneiswaitingforamiracle.Ourwork-expectations.Thisisadifficulttask.Every timeIweararedshirt,Iamawareofaresponsibilitythatfallsontheshouldersoftheplayer,"ManchesterUnited".  Assoonasthetrainerrevealstoyouthegoalsandobjectivestodate,feelingsofanxietydisappears.Thisanxiety,weakand hiddeninthesubconsciousfeeling,becauseinthenexttendayswewillplaythreegames,whichmayleadustoa"glorious treble",orimposeonusaneternalcurseprint"commandfailedinneedofradicalsurgeryintervention."WinningtheFACup wouldhavebeenself-sufficientforsomeclubs.Forus,winningtheCup,onlyemphasizethemostterriblefailureifwefailto seizevictoryinthechampionshipandtheChampionsLeague.Evendouble-thechampionshipandtheCup-willalsobe regardedasafailure.SuccessontheEuropeanstageisamajorchallenge,"ManchesterUnited"-alevelthattheteam askedin1968.Thatiswhythecoachboughtmesixyearsago.Whileweunsuccessfullystormedthevertex.Untilwewinthe ChampionsLeague,thisteamwillneverbecalledasuccess. Despitethefactthatthisgameisimportant,thematchwiththe"spurs"furtherdemonstratesthepointofviewofthecoach- andIagreewithher-thattheso-calledlittlethingscannotbeignored.Opponentalwaystwofeetbehindusinthefightfora lostball.Hehesitantlyoperatesinapass.Hetriestoplayintheselection,butonly,rather,representsthestruggle,rather thanseriouslytryingtotakeawaytheball."Tottenham,"comesoutahead.LesFerdinandrespondstothechamber,but inaccuratelyappliedtotheoutersideoftheballofthefootandtheballfliesthroughthecrazytrajectoryoverSchmeichel. Weloseaball. Nowweneedtoputpressure.Again,atrifle.Noneedtorunatabreakneckpace-justjackupthepace.Doallthatis neededtopasstheball,makethebastardsworktheirexhaust. Becksshowsmagic,creatingagoaloutofnowhere.Infact,itjustseemstobenowhere-infact,agoalwastheresultofour continuouspressureontheopponent'sgateinfifteenminutes,ofwhich"Tottenham"couldnotcope.Becksonlymeter.They givehimfive...Theimpactisgreat,andtheballfliesinanarcintothetopcorner.Weescapetofreedom.Athalf-timecoach toreplaceTeddyAndyCole.Weknowwhatwedo...andweknowhow. Inthesecondminuteofthesecondhalf,AndyColescoredagoaldoesnot,asadiamond.Hetamestheloosepassand throwstheballoverIanWalker-theskillisappliedattherighttimeandrightplace.Nowyoucanrelax. ThemoststronglythefeelingthatIfeelatthismoment-relaxation.Heck,wedidit!Glancesathiswatch.Playforalong time.Asmanyasfortyminutes.Webegintoloseconcentration.Againthelittlethingsthatwehavetoconcede.Allowthem tobeaheadathalf-meter.Lesswillingtogoforwardintotheterritoryofarivalforfearoflosingtheball.Theinstinctthat forcesyoutodefendwhatyoudid.Dangerousinstinct.

Onechance,slippedanarbitrator,andwillbetoolate.Thelasttenminutespasslikeinanotherdimension.Well,Blowas  judgeinhisfuckingwhistle,please! GrahamPollwhistles.Asenseofreliefoverwhelmedme.Theworkisdone.ThankGod.Icansmellhimunderhisfeet. Coachembraceme.Nowwecanhaveadrink! SirAlex-beautiful,warmandwittypeople.TheyhaveagreatresemblancetothenativesofCork,whoisalsoknownforits simplicityandlackofpretentiousnessandpomposity.Idonotlikethedifferenttechniques,"inatie."Toomuchgoingonin theirrubbish.Emptytalkaboutanything. It'snotforme.Butcertainlynottoday.RyanGiggsandNickyButt,asusual,joking,laughingatpeople,andpopulatethem. Theyareadangeroustandeminsuchverbalsparring.Giggsisatypicalhero.TheguyfromSalford-acrook,whogrewup onthestreet.Withhisdeadpanexpressiononhisfaceandinnocentway,heactsonotherssoothing.TrickyNicky,Mr Reliable,ajokerandprankster.Asusual,todayheandGiggsinthemood.Becks,PaulScholes,GaryandPhilNevillefrom behindthem. Thesesixwerealwaystogethersincechildhood.Theyconstitutethebackboneoftheteambothonthefieldandbeyond.And theykeptaloof,nottakingusintotheirsociety.Sincethisisnoproblem.Onthecontrary,Ibelievethisisahugefactorinthe successoftheclub.AllexceptDavidBeckham,comingfromManchester,butBecksisplayingfor"United"intwelveyears. Therefore,inmodernfootball,wheremoneyhasagreatvoice,usuallyforeign,suchdevotionthatembodiesthissix,isan asset.Thisisa"Liverpool".Andhereatthe"Arsenal","Chelsea"and"Leeds"-no.Attheheartofourteamissomething solid,somethingreal,somethinguniquetoManchester,theratioofthegameSixAmigo,whichisfundamentaltotheteam anditssuccess. Wecelebratenotachievefame,ordevoutfulfillmentofdreams,namely,thatwehavesuchquality.Thisistrulyahappy eveningforatrulyhappyclub.PriortotheFACupfinalonthe"Wembley"issixdays,beforemeetingwiththe"Bavaria"on the"CampNou"-ten,andsowecanrelaxandforgetaboutthediscipline,rigor,andfearsinherentintoolongfootball seasoninEngland.Welatergohome-tiredandingoodspiritsandsatisfied. Monday,May17 Iwokeupfeelinggreat.Hangovers-yes.Withnagginganklethatwillneedtoinspectandtesttomakesurethatmy willingnesstoCupfinalwith"NewcastleUnited",butitwillbeanotherfivedays.SinceIwillnotplayinBarcelona,myseason endedprematurely. Meanwhile,Ihadadayoff,andtheonlythingIhadtodo-visitadoctorwhomustexaminemyankleandoffertreatment.  Afterthatweplannedoutintownwiththekids."United"hasnotbeentheclub,whichflourishedinthecultureofdrinking, whenIcameintoit.LonggonehavebecomeanintegralfeatureofclubliferegulardrinkingonSaturdaynights,alongwith BryanRobson,SteveBruce,Eric,LeeSharpeandotherplayers.Thegamehaschangedforthebetter.Wehave matured.Nowwearewatchinghercomplexion,atepasta,drankcreatineandcalmlyatedinnerwiththeirwives.Professional RoyKeanetookwithjoythenewregime,itdemandsdisciplineanditsrelatedvictory.Theplanwasagreedupon.Wemeet at"Mulligans,"IrishBarinManchester,atfiveo'clock.ThefirsthourIwentfromadoctor.Theforecastwaspositive.Iwillbe inservicebySaturday-notahundredpercent,butquitereadytoplaytheirlastgameoftheseason. "Mulligans"-asmallIrishpub,tuckedawayinanalley,andisagreatplaceforthesecovetedeveningforus,fornormal feasts,whichbringtogethertheusualco-workersafteranormalworkingweek.Thenegativesideoffameplayer,"United"- thelackofnormality,whichisemphasizedbythepresenceofourthree-bodykeepers. Butthisdoesnotpreventusfromagreattime.RyanGiggsandNickyButtseekoutvictims.GaryNevilledoesnotclosehis mouth.PeterSchmeichelisdrawn(inthisnew?),Makingpeoplemiss.DwightYorkeisinagoodmoodpicaresque.Gary Beck'slistening.Teddyiscalmandcool.He'sfromLondon!DenisIrwinandPaulScholes,thequietguys,liberating. Wedecidetogoelsewhere.Oneoftheguardsgoestothebar,"Henry,"thatontheothersideofthestreet,toscoutthe situationthere.Noproblem,thereportsaid.Someoftheguys-regulars,"Henry,"sowecantakeacoupleoftablesand continueourcelebration. Forawhileeverythingisgoingwell,butsoonnarisovyvaetsyaprobleminthefaceoftwowomenandthemenwhowatched usinthe"Mulligans."I'mtalkingwithRyan,whenawomanasksmetobuyheradrink.Wedidnotnotice.Butshecontinues toinsistonhisown.Thistimeitjoinedherfriendandboyfriend.Wegotoanotherplace.Theyfollowus. "Youdonotwanttobuyagirladrink,kid?"Thisguystoodinfrontofmynose.Respondtotheaggressionofaggression? ..Yes,areasonableactinthissituationwouldbetocalltheguard.Unfortunately,afterdrinkingareasonablebehaviorisno longermyhallmark. "Goawayandleaveusalone!"-Ireplied. "Whydoyouyourselfdonotgetoutofhere?Whatthehellareyoucurrentlythinkyouare?"-Meetsawomannumberone. Suddenly,Igethitbyaglasseye.Ipushaguy.Thencomesacompletemess.Subsequentmomentsarelikeafog.ButI laterlearnedthattwowomengotoutofthebartocall.One-thenewspaper"Sun"tosellthestory(yes,thatis!),Theother- tothepolicetoinformthemabouttheattackonthepartofRoyKeane.Thisaccusationwaslaterrefutedbytheownerofthe bar,whichconfirmedthat"RoyKeaneleftthegirlswhomolestedhim,andoneofthemthrewaglassthathithimintheface.  Atthispoint,thegirlswereaskedtoleavethebar.Theyrudelybehavedwithrespecttobothbarstaffandtoitsvisitorsand wereexpelledfromthebarinaccordancewithitspolicy." Policearrived,shininglightsandflashinglights.Gatheredasmallcrowdofpeople.Icanalreadyseetheheadlinesof tomorrow'snews. "Go,Mr.Keane."Politely,butfirmly.I'msittinginthebackseatofpolicecars."Youidiot.WhydoI,asusual-whyme?Iwas nottheonlyonetowhichtheyarebothered,butIjusttriedtointervene.Again"-Ithought.  Atthepolicestation,Iexplainwhathappened.Theylistentome.Unfortunately,myformaftertherevelrydoesnotinspire confidence. Icrammedintothecamera,soIawoke.Thenightwaslong.MostofitIcouldnotsleep. ThefirstthingIthoughtofTeresaandtheirchildren.Youwillsoonregretandshamearesobering.Nearthehousetherewill beacrowdofjournalists,whenShannongoestoschool.Thenitwillbetheclub:hewillspendtwomajorgames,oneof

whichisthemostimportantinthehistoryof"United",anditscaptainissittinginacellfordrunkenescapadeanddisorderly conduct! Yes,itwasthebases,butthisisnoexcuse.Therewasnoexcuseformybehavior-Iactedlikeafool.Crazy,wildkin.Icalled MichaelKennedy,whourgedmetopullmyselftogetheranddonotworry.IthoughtaboutmyinCork.Theyopenthe newspaperheadlinesread,trytoavoidcontactwithneighborsandforcedtoendureallthisshameforhisRoy.Again.Well,I fool. Thecoacharrivedthenextmorning.HecalledMichael,althoughitwasnotatallnecessary.Manchester-abigvillage.If youhavesomethingdone,thenthecoachwillknowaboutitalreadythenextmorning.Suchastayedatanightclubuntilhalf pasttwonights.Hegotintoataxiinaratherdrunk,etc.Thetraineryoufiguredoutanduselessexcuses.I'vealwaysbeen honestwithhim,lifteduphishands,andnowIamrewardedforthisbehavior-whenIexplainwhathappened,"HenryV",he believedme."I'llgetyou."HewasnothappymyopinionfourdaysbeforetheCupfinal.Insuchsituations,thecoachalways findsawayandbehaveswell.HeknowsthatatheartIscrapethedevil.AndthistimeIdidbetternotstartserioustalks. Iwasreleasedonbail.Iwasassuredthatiftheaccusationsprovegroundless,Idonothearanythingaboutthiscase.Witha lightheart,IwenttoTeresaandthechildren,givinghimselfavowthatwillnotcommitsuchamistake.Ofcourse,Ihad promisedmyselfsuchapromise. Saturday, May22,1999 Mylastgameoftheseason.Victoryoverthe"Newcastle"willmeanathirddoubleintheninetiesandplaceinhistory. Ineverreallytouchedallthetalkaboutthe"dream"to"Wembley".Theconditionsforplayersandspectatorstheredonot meethighstandards.Thefieldseemstobeafewmilesfromthestands,theatmosphereisnotthemostsuitable. WhenIstartedtowarmupbeforeamatchwith"NewcastleUnited",Irealizedthatmyleftanklestillhasnotrecovered.Itook therisk,notknowingifIcouldspendtheentirematch. Iwasabletoplayjusteightminutes.GarySpeedplayedroughwithme.Abelatedwelcometotheselection.Hecertainly"cut down"me-atthistimetornligamentsofmyright(healthy)ankles.IfIwasreadyforahundred,Speedcouldnotovertake me.AfewminuteslaterIwaslimping,leftthefield.WewillmeetwithGaryever. CoachTeddyreleasedonthefield,whichprovedawisemove.TeddyscoredagoalandassistedPaulScholes.Wewonthe double.Despiteskepticismaboutthe"miracles""Wembley"and"dream"abouttopickuptheFACup,Ifeltarealsatisfaction whenthechildrentookthestepstogetthetrophyfromthehandsofPrinceCharles.Theworkisdone. Thenextjobwouldbesadasitsounds,is,alas,notforme... Monday,May24 WehadtospendthemostimportantgameinclubhistoryaftertheChampionsCupfinalin1968.Flyingthe"Concord"was perhapsareminderfromcoachtousandtheworldthat"ManchesterUnited"deservesonlythebest.Youneverknowwhat willmakeSirAlexFerguson.Healwayswantedtocome. EndofseasondawnednotquitethewayIimagineditandhopedfor.Itwasgreatthatwewonthedoubleandnowhavean excellentopportunitytoaddtohisvictoryintheChampionsLeague,whichwasthemaingoalfortheclubwithmyfirstdays inthere.Butontheotherhand,IwasuncomfortablewiththefactthatIspentthenightinapolicecell,wasinjuredinthe earlyfinalsandnowIflyfirstclassasballastonthecrucialChampionsLeaguematch. Ireallyliketheguyswon.DespitethedominantpositioninthePremierLeagueforseveralyears,itmakesnosensetodeny ourfailuresinEurope.Thefinalsgaveusanexcellentopportunitytogetridofitsreputationaslosers. IwashurtbecauseofthefactthatIwasnotabletohelptheteam,especiallywhenherememberedthewordsofthecoach comingtotheclub:"Roy,"ManchesterUnited",withyouorwithoutyou,butwillbethestrongestclubinEngland.Withyou wecansucceedinEurope."Now,whenthisachievementwasatarm'slength,I'llbejustabystander.LikePaulScholes, alsoreceivedawarninginTurin. ThedesiretoplayintheChampionsLeaguefinaldefeatandmovedmefromthefirstdaysinthe"United".Now,whenwe reachedit,Icouldnothelptheteam.Iwillbeonlypartoftheextrasinthisfilm,partofthenoiseandcolor.Iwasalmostas sadforScholes,aswellasforthemselves.Hewasprobablythemostgiftedplayerinourteam.Hewasaplayerof "ManchesterUnited"tothebone.Shouldbe,hewasveryhurttomisssuchanevent,especiallylookingathowitspartners havewonwithhimintheYouthCupin1992and1993,isnowfightingforthemostprestigiousEuropeanclubfootballtrophy. Paul-theperfectprofessional.Gorgeousonthefield,humbleandthoughtfulbeyond.Thereisno"zvezdnyaka"noselfpromotionandhuntingforglory.Incrediblygiftedplayerwhoremainedunspoiledbyman.Strange,butthatwewerewithhim inthesameboatalittlebrightenupmydisappointment. IdrankafewpintsofbeeronWednesdaybeforeweleftthehotelatthe"CampNou".Thebuswasquietandtherewasno usualpre-matchtalk.EvenRyanGiggsandNickyButtweresittingquietly.Thecoachhasalsobeencollectedandall serious.Ourteamhascomealongway,breakingmanyrecordsonthedomesticscene.Wehavewonthreedoubles.But everythinginthebusknewthatwehadtoplayacrucialgame.Wehavebeeninmanyplaces,buthere-ever.Unknown land.Aheadofusarenotwaitingforthenextmeeting. Forthecoachrateswereparticularlyhigh.Iwassurethathewillnotfeelthecompletenessofhislife,untilwewinthe ChampionsLeague.Iowehim,asweallare,andthiseveningitwasnecessarytopaydebts.  AllIcoulddo-justwatch.AsPaulandIcouldnotplay,thecoachmovedtothemiddleofthefieldBecksalongwithNicky Butt.RyanGiggscameontherightflank,andJesperBlomqvist-ontheleft.IsatnexttoJimmyRyan,HenningBergand Paul.Itriedtofillintheformofagallant,butinmyheartIhadtheworstexperienceinmyentirefootballcareer. Wearethe"Bavaria"playedhomeandawayinthegroupstageofthetournament.Bothgamesendedinadraw."Bavaria" wasagoodteam,which,however,itwaspossibletowin.Shecouldnot"break"you,like,say,the"Real"or"Barcelona".She -toughie."Bavaria"isagooddefense,playthepass,bepatientandwaitformychance.Effenberginthecenterofthefield wasitscentralfigure,hedictatedthepaceofthegameteam. Inthesixthminuteofthegamewegavethemaneasygoal.RonnyJohnsenfoulstheirhighYankereFrontline,andMario Baslerscoredwellwhoundertaketheballfromthepenaltyarea.Afterthat,anyeventalmostdidnothappen.Neitherteam

seems,couldnotjackupthepaceandrefreshthegame.Ofcourse,"Bavaria"scoredagoal,andtheplayersfeelmuch morecomfortableonthebackgroundofsuchapredictablepatterngame.Weneedtotakecontrolofthegameanddonot forgetaboutthedangerofacounterattackbytheopponent.Twiceinthesecondhalfofthefighttheygotintowoodwork. Curiously,thesefailureshaveinspiredarivalofourplayers. GraduallyIrealizedthatthegamehaschangeditsdirection.Glancingatmywatch,Isawthattherestofthematchhasless thanfifteenminutes.JesperBlomqvistcoachandreplacedbyAndyColeandOleatTeddy.Youcanhardlyfindthebest playerscomingouttoreplaceit.Teddycanmakeraidsintothecampoftheopponentandtaketheball,Olewasperhapsthe beststrikerinEurope.Paceofthegamewassupposedtochangeinanyway. WilltheGermansnowanswerthequestionposedinadifferentlight? Theanswerwasno.Watchingthegame,Ialmostlostmyhead."Bavaria"waitingforthematch.Nowitsbackfourdidnotgo farfromtheirgates,andmidfieldershuddledintheirhalfofthefield."Theyhaveanend,-IsaidtoJimmyRyan.-Wecaught them."Weneededabreakthrough.Ifyoudoeverythingcorrectly,thenineverygameyoubreakoccurs.ButtheGermans continuedtoholdontothegoal,linedupalonghispenalty.Forateamwithsuchareputationthatwasin"Bavaria",itisat thismomentisapitifulsight,thatispossibletoprovidesuchagame...SincetheyareunlikelytowintheChampions League.Ornot?Despiteallthepressureweexertedonanopponentnearhisgoal,"United"couldnotcreateanyreal chances. Neartheedgeofthefieldassistantrefereeraisedthescoreboard,whichshowedthattherefereeaddedanotherthree minutes.Anothercorner.PeterSchmeichelrunsforward.I'veneverseenthatsuchtacticsworked.Surprisingly,thistimeit helped.Becksgaveexcellentcorner,theballwasrepelledbyRyan,locatedontheedgeofthepenaltyarea.Hedoesnothit theballwell,andhefliesstraighttoTeddy,whosendsitbypokingtheGermangoalkeeper. "NouCamp"exploded.EvennowIcannotadequatelydescribetheemotionsengulfedmethen.Relief?Yes.And satisfaction-becauseIfeltthattheguysdeservedtostayalive,justastheGermansdidnotdeservetowinthisprize,doing nothing.ButmostlyIwashappyforthecoach.Isnotthefirstnorthelasttimeheplayedcardswiselysubstitutes. Remainedamomentwhenthe"Bavaria"beganwiththecenterofthefield.Nowshehascompletelylostcontrol.Weinstantly recoverstheball.Haverisenfromthedead,wearenowstrugglingtoscorethewinninggoal."Bavaria"givesusthe opportunitytomakeanothercorner.Becksspinstheballtothenearpost.Teddyforwardsiton,andOlescores. Idoubtwewilleveragainwitnesssuchathreeminutesoffootball.Asaresult,theprizeforwinningtheChampionsLeague 1998/99wasateamthatwanteditmorethanothers.Inthespiritofthedaywon.Iplayedintwelveofthirteengamesofthe League,butI'veneverfeltsotiredasitwasattheendoftheninety-threeminutesinBarcelona.Eveninthehappiest momentsIhaveneverbeenamongthosewhovigorouslycelebratesvictoryafterthematch(Iusuallysaveforthepower bar).Thateveningatthe"CampNou"coachwithdifficulty,andPaulmademegoandgetamedal.Yes,wehaveplayeda roleintheEuropeancampaign,buttheeveningbelongedtotheotherguyswhohavedonetheirjobinamatchagainstthe "Bavaria".PaulandIwerelikeonthefootballsideoftheroadandwereavividexampleofthetruthofprofessionalfootball: youplayforyourteam,yourclub,thefans,butinthefirstplace-forthemselves.Football-averyselfishgame.Andno matterhowmuchImaysaythatIdeservedamedaloftheChampionsLeague,Iknowit'snot.Infact,wecansaythatmy misconductalmostledtobigtroubleforus. Wehadagreatnightatthehotel.ThosewhofeelinvolvedintheteamsetupbyAlexFergusonhavesharedatruesenseof achievingsomethinggreat.EuropeanCupswerepresentedordeal,whichwepassedwithflyingcolors.Ofcourse,itwashis achievement.Icouldeasilyforgetaboutthedisappointmentofhavingmissedthefinalgame,becauseinrealityIwas honoredtobecaptainoftheteamthatbroughtgreatsuccesscoachandagreatclub.That'swhyIsang,laughedanddrank allnight.Someoftheboys,ledbyDwightYorkedecidedtoexplorethenightlifeofBarcelona,andIstayedatthehotel.The nextdaywemadeamemorablereceptioninManchester. XI Inthemiddleoftheseasonwherewewonthe"treble",BrianKiddmovedtothe"Blackburn"asaheadcoach.Hethoughtit wastimetobecomeamaster,tryyourhandasheadcoachoftheclub.DespitethefactthatKiddhasbeenanintegralpartof ourclub,Iwasnotsurprisedbyhismove.Methereisnothingsurprisinginfootball.Iamsurethatthemoneywasoneofthe reasonswhyBrianlefttheclub.Heplayedakeyroleinthetransformationofthe"United"inthenineties,whileworkinghis righthandtheheadcoach.Butwiththegrowthofourwealthofhissalarycouldnotevencomparetothatreceivedregular playerlowerdivisions.Onlyfoolsdonotthinkaboutthesalary,whenallaroundyounaildowndough.CouldBrianrejectan offertoJackWalker,whogavehimasmuchashecouldnotearninalifetimeto"OldTrafford".Irespecthimasaperson andasacoach.Iwassorrythatheleftus. HewasreplacedbySteveMcClaren.Newvoice,newideas,whichIalsoreceived.  AtthetimeIthoughtaboutmoneyandnewcontracts.Iwastwenty-eight,whentoexpirethelastyearofthecontract. MichaelKennedywasnegotiatingwiththeclubforseveralmonths.Thingsweregoingsofaraswewanted. Ilovedplayingforthe"ManchesterUnited".Tome,AlexFergusonwasagreatcoach.Hedictatedhiswillandwashungryto succeed.Hedidnotliketalkersandthosewhoarebluffing,andalwaysfoughtwithsuchpeopleinourdressingroom. Personally,Iowehimalot.Havetherescrapealiving,asithappenedtomeonandoffthefield-hewasalwaysthere.He didnotwanttobenexttoasubmissiveboyscouts,andtookallofmycharactertraits-negative,positive,andtheugly. Ialsolikedtheatmosphereinthelockerroom,"United".AtthistimeIhadtheopportunitytogoabroad.Alargenumberof clubsinEurope'sleadingclubs,feelthesoilbeneathme.From1January2000,Iwasabletonegotiatewithotherclubs.In June2000,accordingtotheruleBosmanIcouldmovetoanotherclubasafreeagent.I'vehadbettercards.Michaelknew howtomanagethem. Iseriouslythoughtabout"Juventus"and"Bavaria".BothoftheseclubswerewillingtooffermealotofmoneysoIcan supportyourselfforalifetime.However,thewithdrawalofthe"United"washardtoimagine.Despitethefactthattheywrite aboutme,thatIamaloser,halfcutofffromotherplayersoftheclub,thetruthisfarmorecomplex.I'malittleolder"children" andamnotinagangBecks,Neville,NickyButt,RyanGiggsandPaulScholes.Theydinedtogether,talkedwitheachother, engagedintheircommonaffairs.Withmeeverythingisdifferent.ItalkedmorewiththeguysfromTeam1994/95.Itookpart

indrinkingboutswithRobbo,Bruce,andEricInsi.Anotherteam,anotherlight-heartedmoment.Thoseguysweremy buddies.Now,aboutmyonlycolleagues.Buttheyalllikeme,everything.Wesharejokes,eachofusplaysarole.They acceptmeforwhoIam,justasIhavethem.Incontrasttoourcommunicationsteamninetiethharderonthefieldthaninthe bar. Iunderstandthatthe"children"arepotentiallythegreatestforce,whichisavailableinthearsenaloftheclub.Theyformthe basisofthosewhoaredevotedto"United",itisnotnecessarilywhatisineachPremierLeagueclub.ArseneWengerwon thedoublewith"Arsenal",andimmediatelylefttheclubPetitandOvermars.Vieiramay,andprobablycannotgotothe "Real"orinsomeItalianclub.Suchinstabilitydestroysthefoundationoftheclubandthe"Leeds",and"Chelsea".Butnotin the"ManchesterUnited". Iwashappyto"OldTrafford".Thetalkswentallthewayuntilanagreementhadbeenreached.Iwashappytosignanew four-yearcontract. Inthefirstweeksoftheseason1999/2000MichaelkeptmybusinessandIworkedallisoefforttoprovetheclubonthefield ataprice.Iscoredtwogoalsto"Highbury",whereweprevailed2-1,andbroughtvictoryinthefinaloftheIntercontinental CupinTokyo,whereweplayedwiththeBrazilianclub,"Palmeiras". WewonsixmatchesanddrawnthreemeetingsinourfirstninegamesofthePremierLeague.Andthenthe"Chelsea" defeatedus5-0inthe"StamfordBridge".ThatsummertheteamwentPeterSchmeichel.Thecoachtookhisplaceonthe twogoalkeepers:MarkBosnichfromthe"Villa"andMassimoTaibof"Venice."Bosnichwasaniceguy.Aboutititispossible towriteabook.Buteventhoughhewasagiftedgoalkeeper,apparently,hewasnotokaywithprofessionalism.Athisfirst practicehewaslateforanhour.Trainerabsentforanyreason.WhenBosicameonthefieldat11o'clock,Iaskedhim wherehewas. "Igotlostonthewayoutofthehotel"-hesmiledasmugsmile.Hehasalwaysbeenabitcomplacent. "Helostaway,tohell!"-Ichuckled. "Yeah,buddy,"-saidBosi. "Yourfirstfuckingday"ManchesterUnited",andyou'relateforanhouronafuckingworkout"-"pushed"tohimmyself. It'sfunnysounds,butthisincidenthastouchedme.Likemesixyearsago,Bosnichwaslodgedinthehotel"FourSeasons".  Afraidofgettinglostinmyfirstdayoftheirstaythere,Iorderedataxiandtoldthedriverthathewasgoingto"Cliff",andI followedhiscar.Iarrivedanhourbeforetheworkout.Musttakeintoaccountallthesmalldetailsthatgiveyourrelationship andtowork.Inthiscase,thesedetailssayalot.Iprovokehim,thathewokeupalittleandlethimknowwhattoexpectfrom aplayer,"ManchesterUnited"inourdays.Bosiwasalreadyinthe"United",butthenhewasdeniedaworkpermit. MarkBosnichwason"OldTrafford",buthedidnotunderstandwhatIwantedtotellhim.HeandDwightYorkeweregayand inmanyrespectsresembledeachother.Duyathadagreatseasonwhenwewonthe"treble".Atfifty-onematch,hescored goalsandtwenty-ninesuperblyledtheattack,thesameamountoftimeassistiruyaothers.Unfortunatelyforhimandforus, successonthefieldledtothefactthathe'stoomuchtimehavingfunaftertheGames.Hestillcouldsimultaneouslyfulfillits roleofafootballplayer,andPlayboy,buthisclocktickedrelentlesslytime. MassimoTaibwasareallygoodprofessionalandagoodguy.Ofcourse,hewasagreatgoalie.But,alas,turnedouttobe hisdebutawful.Aweekbeforetheroutinagamewith"Chelsea"hemissedtheballbetweenthelegsofaninnocentafter hittingMattLeTissierinameetingwiththe"Southampton."Matchwith"Chelsea"wastheendofacareerinMassimo "United".ThenextweekinplaceofthegateagaintookBosnich.MassimoreturnedtoItaly. Butitwasnotimportant.Afterlosingthe'spur'1:3,weissuedaseriesofelevenchampionshipmatcheswithoutdefeat. WewereconfidentinEurope.Talksaboutmycontractremainedunfinished,andIwentontoscore.Thedaybeforethe gamewith"Valencia"Michaelcalledmetoannounceanewcontract. InOctober1999,thecoachgatheredtheteamandsaidthatforreasonsbeyondthecontrolof"United",wedonotplayinthe FACup.Englandparticipatedinthecontestfortheadoptionofthe2006WorldCup-thedecisiontohosttheFIFAWorld Championshiptook.Itsleadersalsowantedto"ManchesterUnited"wasplayedinthefirstworldclubchampionshiptobe heldinBrazilinearlyJanuary2000.ThegovernmentandtheFootballAssociationhadontheclubpressuretoforcehimto participateinthistournament.For"United"lose-losesituationwas:tooffendFIFA,FAandGovernment...orignorethe world'soldestsoccercompetition,andhurt,asitturnedout,almosteveryone. ThetruthwasthattheFACuphaslostitsformerglory,atleastforme.Yes,theCupwenttoourfamilyandallthosewho workedattheclub.Themythof"Wembley"folktaleabouttheexitofthelockerroominthetunnel,theredcarpet,meeting withlarge"cones",atriptotheRoyalBoxforthemedals,patyouontheback,royalty,receivingthemostCup-itwasall completenonsense.WejustwantedtowinthePremierLeagueandChampionsLeague. Ofcourse,thiswashismeaning.TraditionsdiehardinEngland.Buttheystilldie.Whennewscameout thattheholderoftheFACupwillnotdefendhistitle,startedthisbrouhaha.Weallletlooseinasadandimportantkindof regrettingtheincident.Butinside,Ididnotcare.IdelightedprospectstriptoBrazilinJanuary.Eveniftheso-calledclub worldchampionshiptournamentseemedunlikely,inwhichitwasnecessarytogiveallpowertowin. WeflewtoBrazilinagoodmoodandwantedtowin.Youalwayswanttowin.Werepresentedthe"ManchesterUnited". Coachremindedusofourresponsibilities,requiringustoprovethetitleofbestclubintheworld. InRio,itwashot.Situatedonthebeach.Tournamentstatuswasnotallclear."Nekaksa"fromMexico,"VascodaGama," BrazilianandAustralianteam,"SouthMelbourne"tobeourrivalsinthegroupstage.InourfirstgameagainsttheMexican clubupdated,butstillshabbystadium"Maracana"wasempty.Wideconcreteoval,whichechoedourvoicesheard.  Atmosphere-zero.Utterheat.Result-1:1. Thestadiumwascompletedduringoursecondgamewiththe"VascodaGama",thelocalchampion.Becauseoftwo unpardonablemistakes,GaryNeville,"Vasco"scoredtwoeasygoals.Welost1-3.Finished.Butnoonecried.Ondifferent kindofreasons,ourmissionwasimpossible.Journalistswhoaccompanieduswerestrugglingtocreatetheimpressionthat wearehereonlytoenjoyyourvacation.Yes,thatwasit.Butwekeptitasecret.Butatthesametimewemustcomplywith theFootballAssociation,FIFAandthegovernment.Coachletmerestafewplayersinameetingwiththe"South Melbourne",whichwebeat2-0.

Uponreturningfromvacation,wehadtoconcentrateonthegame.FreedfromtheburdenoftheFACupmatches,wecan concentrateonthePremierLeagueandChampionsLeague.Wehadtoplaytwoimportanthomegamewiththe"Arsenal" and"Middlesbrough".Meetingwiththe"Arsenal"hasalwaysbeenimportant.Thistimethematchwasofparticular importancebecauseofthecriticismwhichhasfallenuponus.Weplayedugly-slowlygavewaytofightintheimportant momentsandplayoneball,untilTeddyhadnotsavedusthroughthecurtainlevelingthegame-1:1.Summarizingthe meeting,AndyGrayofSkySportmadethefollowingobservation:"Weallwaitedandwatchedtheplaywillbe"United". Playersof"Arsenal"flewacrossthefield,and"ManchesterUnited"tookanhourtostart.OnlyRoyKeanewasmagnificent.  Anyonehaveavideoofthisgame,itcanlookandseehowKeanemadetheteam.Hewentoutandbegantostart,andhard podnachivatplayagainstanopponent.Suddenly,histeamhasrisen,andthisexplainswhySirAlexFergusondecidedto givehimahugesalarytoleavethe"OldTrafford"." Thenextmeetingwith"Middlesbrough".Anotherdangerousgameifyoudonotapproachitwiththerightattitude.Andsoit happened.OurthoughtswerestillinRio.0-0,butwe'restillwaitingforsomething.JaapStamafoulinthepenaltyarea- penalty.Infact,JaaptouchedtheballwhenJuninhotriedtopasshim.JudgeAndyD'Arcymadeamistake.Werunuptohim andbegnottopunishus.Hestepsback,andweareattacking.Photosofthenowinfamousincidentarestriking.Those crazywiththeveins,forcinguparoundhisneck-that'sme.Later,IjokedthatifD'Arcyhasceasedtorunbackwards,we wouldceasetopursueit.Thisisnojoke.IknowthatwewerenotrightandIwastheprincipaloffender.NowIunderstand: despitethefactthatAndyD'Arcymadeamistake,wedidnothavetopouronhimallourbile.Weweretoblameforthefact thatthescorewas0-0.That'swhyIopposedourcomplacency,whichhasnowbeencompoundedbyamistakeofajudge. Mr.D'Arcywasascapegoat. Thiswasareasonableexplanationforwhatishappening.Unfortunately,youneverthoughtwiseinthegame.Atthatlevel, whereheplayed"ManchesterUnited"Footballisalwayscruelandmerciless.Thereisnofreelunchandasoftlandingon arrivalfromBrazil.Thisisbecausewehavecomeuponhardlessons.Fortunately,MarkBosnichbeatenoffJuninho'spenalty kick.Beckalsoscoredthewinninggoalthreeminutesbeforethefinalwhistle.  Afterthisgameweseemtohavewokenup,losingonlyoneoftheseventeenremainingmatchesofthechampionship.Infact theonlylostmatch-withascoreof0-3,"Newcastle"-Iwasremovedbecauseoftwowarnings.Igotoneforarguingwith referee,theother-aviolationthatIdidnotcommit. WehadachancetowinthePremierLeagueatthetimeofourmeetingwiththe"Real"inthequarterfinalsoftheChampions League.InthefirstmatchinMadridwehadtorun.Theyweregood-Raul,RobertoCarlos,Morientes,advancingonusfrom allsides.Theyweresturdyfellows.Thegamebroughtpleasuretoallwhowantedtoplayatthehighestlevel."Bernabeu" wasfull-timefiesta.Thisevening,especiallyinSpainandItaly,wereremarkable-othersights,soundsandsmells,creating anexoticatmosphere.Ihaveoftenwonderedhowit-greatplayforEuropeanclubs?InMadrid,wedugintotheground,ran, coveredhisplayerswereplayingsoccerwhentheballpossession.Goallessdrawwastheappropriateresult. Inthesecondlegofthe"OldTrafford"hasbeenelectrified.Meetings"ManchesterUnited"with"Real"havetheirownhistory, stretchingbackevenfurtherthanthetimebeforethedisasterteamBusbyinMunich."United"beat"Real"inthesemi-finals in1968.Atthistime,"ManchesterUnited"asthe"Real"showeditselfinallitsglory.Themeetingturnedoutaclassic,both teamscreatedalotofthings."Real"hasearnedanimportantguestgoalwhenIsenttheballintohisownnetpastRaimond vanderGove,tryingtostoptheWingbackache.Wehavebeguntoescalatethesituationatthegatesoftheopponent,but soonafterthebreak,Raulscoredthesecondgoalandanothercoupleofminutes.We'vebuiltainsurmountableobstacle. DespitethegoalsBecksandPaulScholes,wewerenotabletoovercomethe"Real". Defeatalwayshurts,butatleastwelosttoagoodteam.BreakthroughRedondoandhisdeparturefromHenningBerg,after whichhegaveoneofthegreatchancestoscorepasses,Raul,isatop-classfootball.Itistosuchworld-classstandardswe needtostrivefor.Manyaspectsofthegame"Real"surprisedme.Incrediblehandlingtheball.Savingmovements,no uselessrunningaround,eachmovementhasaclearlydefinedgoal.Raouliswaiting,likeapartner,apolushansa.Anduses itwhenhecomes.Contestantplayedwithoutpassionandbalanced,evenwhenweweretough.Theyweresoskillfullythat wehadnochoicebuttorunforshade,aswellasstronginthe"physics"andhardy.IoftenwatchSpanishfootballon Saturdaynights.Theyhavesetthebarhigh,weneedtotake,goaheadanddefend.Yes,ithurtstolose,butthisgamehas givenussomuchtothinkabout!Butthemainthing-wehadtothinkaboutScoringdrawthatwehadtoscoreonthe"Old Trafford".Should,buttheywerenot. Beforeandafterthematchwiththe"Real"Weplayedwiththe"WestHam","Middlesbrough","Sunderland"and "Southampton".Wedefeatedthe"WestHam"-7:1,beat'Boro'Away-4:3,"Sunderland"-4-0andwontheleaguetitle, takingprecedenceoverthe"Southampton"from3-1onSaturdayafterhowwewonthe"Real".Despitetheeasyvictoryin thePremierLeague,weareindangerintheformofself-deception. WecouldnotdefendthetitlewinnersoftheChampionsLeague.Tobehonest,Iwasnotsurprised.Aftertakingthe"treble"I knewitwouldbedifficulttodevelopahungertobethefirstinthePremiershipandtheChampionsLeaguenextseason.I wasseizedwithdoubt,yetwhenIstoodinthedressingroomat"CampNou"afterthevictoryoverthe"Bavaria".River pouredchampagne,peoplewentcrazy.Ofcourse,thisbehaviorwasnormalforhumanandunderstandable.ButIfelt, thoughnottosaythatwejustluckythatwebeat,"Bavaria"intheevening.Icouldnotsayitinthosecircumstances.Ihave notmadeacontributiontotheoverallvictory.SoI,atleast,Ithink."Bavaria"voluntarilysurrenderedthegame,givingusall thecards.MaybeI'mjusttediousnessofthefactthatImissedsuchanimportantgame.Ifitwerenotjaundiced,Roy,letthe kidswillbehappytohisachievement.Butthisargumentwascontradictedbyanotherthought:Wewereluckywhentheother teamgaveup. WhenIhearthepost-matchinterview,evenmoredoubtsplaguedme.Acoupleofplayerstoldthepressthatafterthatthey careaboutiswhethertheycanwinothertrophiesornot.Wow,Ithink.Maybethey'retoooverexcited,butwhatthehell,what dowedonextyear?It'sallover?Wemadehistory.Nowisthetimetogatherourthings?Itdoesnotmatterifyoudonotwin anothertrophy?LordJesus!Begintothinkso,andyoujustdonotwinasingletrophy.Ifitwerenotjaundiced,Roytellsme thelittlevoiceinsideofme.

WhathappenedtoDwightYorkeafterthenightmayhavebecomethemostdramaticexampleofourfailure.Butother playershavepassed,eventhougheachofthemisreflectedinhisown,softerandmorequietlyoutsideobserver.Donotget mewrong.IlikeYorkie,heaniceguy.Butthe"OldTrafford"rottensmellafteravictoriouseveningwhenwereceivedthe "treble".Inthefollowingmonthsforusconstantlyfollowedbyhisshadow,whereverwewent.Inthemiddleofnextseason, weweregreetedlikeheroesthatmakehistory,surpassedtheteamin1968,wecalledateamofthecentury.Wehave signedphotosofthethreeprizes,speakingofthegreatpartythatwillneverbeforgotten.Andnomatterwhatwedonow.It continuestothisday!Icomefromitinanger.What'snext,whatabouttheotherstepsthatwillleadustoglory,not comparabletothePremierLeagueandputonaparwith"Real"?Weweresupposedtocelebratetheeveningandmoveon. Butwedidnot.Forthiswewillpayoff.Defeatedby"Real"wastakenquietly,becauseyoucannotwinallthetime.Whynot?  Afterall,"Liverpool,"itworked.The"Real"worked.The"Bianconeri"worked.The"Bavaria"worked.Ikeepyourmouthshut. Butnotincommunionwithfamilyandclosefriends.  Acoupleofweeksafterbeingdefeatedby"Real"Iphonedmyfriend,seasonticketholderat"OldTrafford".Hereceiveda letterfromtheclub,statingthatthepriceincreaseisduetosubscriptioncoststoperformmynewcontract."Yousureabout that?"-Iaskedhim."Yes,"-hesaid,notingthatkeepstheletterinhishands.ItwassignedbytheSecretary,"United"Ken Merrett. ThenextmorningIwenttothesecretary.Iaskedifitwastruethattheriseinpriceseasonticketsduetomynewcontract? Heassuredmethateverythingwasnotso.Icalledmyfriendandhesaid:"Roy,Iwillsendyoualetter."Inonepartofthe letterwaswritten:"AllaredeeplyrelievedwhenRoyKeanehasagreedtosignanewcontract,whichguaranteesthatitwill remainaplayer,"ManchesterUnited"foratleastanotherthreeyears.RetainingtheloyaltytoRoy,theclubbelievesthatit thuspreservesthededicationandthefans.Fansof"ManchesterUnited"areaccustomedtothebest.Therefore,ourdutyis, sowestayedatthesepositions,holdingthatwecouldbethebest.Risingpriceshaveneverseenwithjoy,butweare confidentthatfanswillunderstandtheimportanceofwhatweputonourcompetitivenessandabilitytocompetenotonlyin thetransfermarket,butalsoperformtaskstoretainourplayersattheclub." IwasangrywhenhereturnedtoMerrett.Ashecouldnotforeseewhatwillpeoplethink?Iputtheletteronhisdesk,andthen wenttothecoach.Heagreedthattheclubactedincorrectly.Nothingsurprisesmeinfootball.Butdespitethedisappointment befellmeoffthefield,attheendoftheseasonIwasnamedbestplayeroftheyearaccordingtothejournalists.Iwas pleasedtheprize,butIknewthatitwouldnotmeananythingifweasateamwillbecomecomplacent. FabienBarthezwasagoodpurchaseoftheclubin2000/01.EricisalwayspositivecommentsaboutFabien,whostoodat thegateoftheFrenchteamthatwontheWorldCupandEuro2000.WatchingthefinalsofEuro2000,Idecidedtoputin Italy.Iamparticularlyfondofnotgambling,butIreallylikedtheItalians.IcalledthebookmakerLadbrokesandput5000 poundsonItaly.Iproudlypaidheragoldcreditcard.Betisplaced.Thenextmorning,thecoachgavemeahardtime. "Idonotknowwhatyou'replayinggamesofchance"-hesaid. "Yes,Idonotplay"-wasmyanswer. "Fine.Andwhatwereyoudoingwhenyesterdayputfive"pieces"inItaly?" "Well,well...Ilikethem,Coach." "Butyouwerewrong,isnotit?" Snitchedonme.MikeDillonofLadbrokesfriendswiththecoach. "Inanycase,onlytransactionswithyourgoldcreditcard,ittookfiftypounds.Youdonotwanttoplaythegame"-hesaidat theendoftheconversation."Oh,ofcourse,withLadbrokes»,-Ithought. InamatchoftheCupseasonwith"Chelsea"IwassentoffforroughplayagainstGusPoyet.JimmyFloydHasselbainkfouls onmeafewminutesearlier,andhegotawaywithit.WewereonlyintheCupoftheseason,butthemeetinghasstoodthe rough.Pressvengeancescoldedme.WhyKeanewasagaininthemiddleoftheaction?Theanswerissimple.Youcannot affordtoplaytheroleofvictim.Iftheytrytoplayagainstyourude,intimidating,tryyourstrength,youneedtofightbackand letthemknowthatyouandIbetrifledwith.Youaredoingtheirjobanddonoteventhinkofgivingup.Youmustprotect yourself. InNovember,weheadedoverthePremierLeague,eightpointshavingcomeofffromtheirnearestpursuers.Inthe ChampionsLeague,wemetwiththeKiev"Dynamo"to"OldTrafford".Teddybroughtusforwardinthebeginningofthe match.Butweplayedverybadly.Weneededtowintoreachthesecondstage.Inthesecondhalfofthemeeting"Dynamo" Wecrushed.Fiveminutesbeforethefinalwhistle,wealmostflewoutoftheChampionsLeague.Theyeffortlesslycometo ourgateandbroughttotheshockpositionDemetradze,buthemissedfromfiveyards.Wewerejustgladtogetawayquickly fromthefield. Wewereclosetothedepartureofthetournament.Metastasisdecaywererootedintheteam.Thefansdidnotnotice anythinguntilthejoy.Interestingly,whenwewereunderarealpressinthesecondhalf,thestandswerequiet.Itseemed thattheywereprotestingthelackofspectacle,forwhichcametothestadium.Fullmeshballs,knockingthecrapoutof "Southampton",4:0or5:0,andthejoytheyalmostcarriedthestadium.Butwhataboutintimeswhenyouneedmoral supporttothefans?  Afterthematch,itwasmyturntocommunicatewiththepress.WhenaskedaboutthegameIgavethefollowinganswer:"A lotofpeoplewhocomeherehavebeenaskingusforthreeorfourgoals,butitdoesnotalwayshappen.Ourfansonthe roaddeservegoodthings,likefansofanyotherteam,butduringthehomegamesyousometimesthink,andifthey understandthegameoffootball?Somegoto"OldTrafford",butIdonotthinktheycanevenspelltheword"football",notto mentionhisunderstanding.Attheendofthedayyoushouldcomeandsupportyourteam.Visitingourfansarefantastic,I wouldhavecalledthemthemostnotoriousfans,butathometheydrinkalittleandmaybechewtheirsandwicheswith shrimpanddonotunderstandwhatishappeningonthefield.Thisiswrong." Mywordsofsandwicheswithshrimpthenextdayappearedinmanynewspapers.IattributedthatsupposedlyIwasreferring tothefansintheVIP-boxes.Infact,itwasnotthecase.TheclubhadneededthemoneyfromthesaleofseatsintheVIPboxes.Suchislife.Infact,Italkedaboutallthefans,"United"ingeneral,asinexpensiveplaces,andonconventionalstands, whichcouldlosetouchwithreality."United"wasendowedwithadivinerighttosuccess.True,savvyfootballfansknewit.

Probably,I'mnotjustworriedaboutthebehavioroffans.SomewhereinsideIfeltthefearthatwewilldegradeasateam. Theatmospherewasnotthesame.Success,especiallyinthePremierLeague,fueledcomplacency.Toomanypeoplewere poisonedintheclubtreble.Memories,admiration,talkaboutlegendsandheroes,thegreatestteaminthehistoryof "United",etc.ThewordsofPeterSchmeichelthatourteamwouldhavedefeatedthecompositionofthesamplein1968with ascoreof10-0,theculminationofidletalk.Hence,tohell,heknow?Fromallthisonecanknow?Thentheywereallgreat playersofhistime:BobbyCharlton,DenisLaw,GeorgeBest.Butwhatweimaginedmyselfsayingthattheseplayerswould nothavereachedanythinginmodernfootball?"Treble"washistory.Butpeopledidnotwanttoknowthis.Thissituationwas goingtoharmus.Ifeltit.Isawthisonthetrainingfield.Peoplewerelatefortraining,servingroom,butwoninthegames withweakteamsofthePremierLeagueeveryweek.Andthen-bang,Kiev"Dynamo",ratherthanMadrid"Real"almost knocksusoutoftheChampionsLeague.Lookingaroundthelockerroom,Irealizethatit'sstillnotagoodshake. InearlyFebruary,ourleadershippositioninthePremierLeagueofsixteenpoints.Wefinishedwith"Panathinaikos"and "Storm"intheChampionsLeague.Shiningtipoftheiceberg,butthewaterwasallbad.  April,leadershipofthethirteenpointsintheracewithoneparticipant."Bavaria"comeon"OldTrafford"inthefirst quarterfinalmatchoftheChampionsLeague.Signsofweaknessareevidentinameetingwith"Liverpool",whobeatus2-0 onthe"Anfield"forthreedaysbeforethematchwith"Bavaria". "Bavaria"-agood,professionalteam.Theyjustwillnotletusgetwhatwewant.Effenberg,Scholl,Yeremis,hunkyhardin midfield,ElberandPauloSergio,comprisingthelineofattacktheBrazilians,thoughnotthebest.Thisteam,allthelinesare perfect,theyhavenoweaknesses.TheybuiltacoachHitzfeld.Theytellustoohard,PauloSergio,whoreplaced,scoredthe winninggoalfourminutesbeforetheendofthemeeting.Theyhavegonefarincomparisonwith1999,butwealsodidnot stepforward. Wecaneasilywina"Charlton"and"Coventry"beforethesecondleginMunich.Questionaboutthewinnerhasbeen practicallysettled,whenElberscoredalreadyafterfiveminutesofthemeeting.Wearedeceivingthemselves.Therewas muchtalkandnotenoughdoing.Wegotofftherails. WewonthePremierLeaguebyamarginoftenpoints. ReturninghomefromMunich,Iwasachingheart.Wehadtospendbigmoneyonnewplayersafterthe"treble",beruthless, togetthebestthereisinEurope;refreshcommand,tofightcomplacency,toforcethosewhodidnotcare"whethertheywin anotherprize"togoateamthathasneverknownvictories.Maybethisteamisalreadyover.Includingme.Ihavenotdone anythingintheMunichGames.Iranoutofsteam,wasangryanddevastated.IsuckedswampthePremierLeague.Be better,Roy,oryouperish. WecametopracticeonFriday."Carrington",ournewtrainingstadium,wasthedreamofaprofessional.Allyouneedfor optimaltraining.Everythingisfine.Tomorrowweplayathomewiththe"ManchesterCity".HisplayerAlfieHollanddidnot closehismouth:"IfRoyKeanesoworriedaboutrabidfansandVIP-boxes,whyhewouldnotpaycut?"(Thiswasback beforethegameto"MaineRoad"thisseason).IdidnotforgetAlfie.BryanRobsontoldmenottohurry."You'llgetyour chance,Roy.Wait."  Anothershittygame.Anopponentisserious.We-no."City"couldgoforward,butthenTeddyhasimplementedapenalty.It remainedfortwentyminutes.Howierestoredthebalancefiveminutesbeforethefinalwhistle.Iwaitedalmost180minutesof  Alfie,threeyearsorasyoulike.Nowheheldtheballatthefaredge.Heseemedtobemocked.Iwaitedalongtime.Hehas, Ibelieve,hadaball.Takethat,youbastard!AnddonotstopgrinningandnotoverthefactthatIwaspretending.Andtell yourfriendUezerolluthatIhadpreparedforhimagift.IdidnotwaituntilElleraytoshowmethecard.Iturnedandwalked intothelockerroom. Soonafterthematchwith"Bavaria"IwenttoSteveMcLarentosharewhatisbotheringme.Stevewasagoodcoach, innovator,alwaysseekingthebestsolutions.Irespectedhim.Hestroveforthebest.Hewasambitiousandhungryto succeed.Itoldhimaboutmyfeelings,thatwearenotthesameandwehavenoonetoplayinthePremierLeague. "Arsenals","Liverpool","Chelsea"and"Leeds"justcouldnotresistus.Becauseofthis,webegantothinkthatwearebetter thanitactuallyis.HeknewwhatIwassaying.AfterthegameinMunich,Isaidtojournaliststhatthecurrentteam,perhaps notsostrong.Perhapsweneedtodismantleitandtorecruitnewplayerstostartalloveragain."Keanestruckteam-mates"- readoneheadlinethenextday.Iwasreferringtohimselfaswell.Ialmostfeltthesamewaycomplacent. Steveassuredmethatchangemustcomesoon.Thecoachisgoingtotakeateamofseveralleadingplayers.Heagreed withmycharacterizationofourrivalsinthePremierLeague.HealsosharedmyviewthatthenewrulesoftheChampions League,enablingittoplaythethreebestteamsofinternalchampionship,weneednotfightforthetitleofthestrongest teamsofthePremierLeaguetobeeligibletoparticipateintheprestigiousEuropeanCup.Ifwedonotneedtowina championship,thenifwecanmaintainthemoodoftheteamthatreignsinittoday?Fearofbeinginthearmsofcomplacency attheageoftwenty-nine,furtherdistinguishedhimself,whenwereceivedtheprizeforwinningthePremierLeague,losingat home"Derby".Thefanswerehappyforus.Webathedintheglory.Welovedit.Thenwelostthelasttwogames. Butoneaccomplishmentstillhadtobenoted.AlexFergusonbecametheonlycoachinthehistoryofEngland,haswon threechampionshipsinarowwiththesameclub.Hehasearnedhisplaceinthehistoryofthegame.Anditwasallalittle. ChampionsLeagueFinalinMay2002tobeheldinGlasgowon"HampdenPark"-inhishometowncoach.Hesetthisgoal beforeusforthenewseason.Healsoannouncedthatitwillbehislastseasonattheclub.Talksabouthisworkinanother incarnationinthe"OldTrafford"werefoiled.Nothingsurprisesmeinfootball.Todayyou'rehere,tomorrowyouhavenot- thisapplieseventoamanlikeFerguson. Weboughtexpensiveplayersandmadeagooddealwithfreeagent.JuanSebastianVeroncamefromthe"Lazio"atleast 28millionpounds.Sebwasaworld-classmidfielder.RuudvanNistelrooy,whoacquiredtheclubPSVEindhovenfor19 million,wasastrikerwithanimpressivetrackrecordassistslist.LaurentBlanccametousonafreetransfer.I'vealways admiredthisdefender,wholookedgreatintheFranceteamthatwonthe1998WorldCupandEuro2000. Everyoneexpectedanimmediatesuccess,butfootballisnotsosimple.Especiallyforforeignplayerswhoarenot accustomedtoplayinginEnglandandastrangecultureofeverydaylife.Youcannotexpectmiracles.Unfortunately,people werewaitingforinstantresults.Whentheyattacked,thecriticismfelluponthemostserious.

JaapStamwassoldfor£15million-theclubmadeaprofitof5million.Thecoachhasreceivedforhisportionofthis criticism.MainlyforthefactthatLaurentactedhesitantlyprotection.Heistooslowandcannotadapttothelocalfootball team.SaleStamwasamistake.Perhapsitwassoldbecauseoftherecognitioninhisbookthatthecoachkepthimsecret negotiations?Idoubtit.Ifeltthat,despitethefactthatJaapwasagreatguy,hisabilitieswerelimitedtoplayingatthe highestlevel.Heactedsuperblyinthefightfortheballwasfast,andhispresencewasfeltonthefield.Buthewasweakina positionalgame.Jaaphardtokeepupwiththebesthitters.Hehasaninstinctiveflairwasmissing,whichischaracteristicof thestrongestdefenders. IlikedJaapandhisfamily.Hewassincerelydevotedto"ManchesterUnited".HeboughtahouseinWilmslow,whichis directlyontheroadfromourstadium.Hewaspopularinthelockerroom. Wearebarelymakingendsmeetinthefirstmonthsofthechampionship.0:1defeatfromthe"WestHam"inhisfieldinearly Decemberwasthesixthoftheseason.Simplecalculationssuggestthatyoucannotlosefiveorsixmatchestobecome champion.Therewasnodoubtthatweunderstoodthecrisis. MostcriticalofarrowswerefiredinthedirectionofLaurentBlancandJuanVerona.Itwasabsolutelyunfair.Theysaidthat theycannotadapttothePremiership.World-classplayerscannothandlethelegworkandpointlessattacks?Nonsense. LaurentandSebwereexcellentprofessionals,notsostrongastheendurancetoplaythecrazyrhythmofEnglishfootball. Yes,itwasnecessarytoadapttoit,butthebestplayersmeetmoreseriouschallengesthanthis.Theteammissedgoals. Team.Therewasnoneedtopointthefingeratindividualplayers.Wedrownorvyplyvem.Together.Inthegame,"Arsenal", forexample,weallgotoff.Barthezstruggledkeptusafloat.Intheend,itstillpassed.Buttheropeledtotheotherplayers, includingme. Otherobservershaveattributedourlossofformthatthecoachannouncedhisretirement.Maybethiswassomething,but thiscouldnotexplainthedrop.Inaddition,thecauseofthecrisisseeninthefactthatSteveMcClarenmovedto 'Middlesbrough'headcoach.Stevewasgreat.ButIdonotthinkthisexplainseverything. Wenolongerfeelthedesiretofightforvictory.IrememberedthefeelingexperiencedinBarcelona,whenwewonthetreble. Suspicionturnedtoobsession.Wehaveexperiencedtheglory,becametheheroes,weweredamnlivinglegends.Wewon thechampionshipwithamarginoftenpoints,what'sthematter,Roy?Ifeltwhatitallgoes.Lostthedesire,hehadneither oneofus.Atleast,notsufficient.Insteadoftheveryactivegoingforward,weexpectedthatoneofourheroeswilldo everythingforus.Next,Becks,bringusvictory.NowIdo.Scholes,yourturn.Comeon,Ryan.Seb,youarestanding28 millionpounds,couldyouwinthismatchforus?Rood,comeon,youwillget.Rudeindeedscoredsomewinninggoals. Becksalsochalkedupsomegreatgoals(sixteenperseason),besidesseveraloccasionshesuccessfullyassistedinthe attack.Ole,asalways,wasalifesaver.Whileweallwaitedforthegameofeachother,significantprogresshasoccurred. Iunderstandboth.InamatchoftheCupseason,"Liverpool"beatus2-1."Arsenal"alsoprogressed.Nowtheyhadagreat thirstforvictory.Morethanwedo. Westartedthechampionshipwithaheavy3-2victoryoverthe"Fulham"inhisfield.Rivaltwicewentahead,butRuudevery oncesavedus.Thenweplayedadrawwith"Blackburn",which,like"Fulham",receivedapermitinthePremiershipfollowing lastseason.Anotherdrawtothe"Villa",beforewedareterribleteam"Everton".Happydaysareback. Inmid-September,playingatapartywith"NewcastleUnited".We'relosing1-3.GiggsandcompareSebaccount.Shearer scoredthewinninggoaleightminutesbeforethefinalwhistle.LordJesus!WhatamessthatI'mtheworst!Itaketheballto throwitoutof.Thereisextratime,andwearedeepinourhalf.Shearerkeepsmefromthrowingtheball.Hescoffs.I'mlosing controlofhimselfandtosstheballtohim."You-afreak"-hegrins.Hesaysit'sconfidentandcomplacent.Iranafterhim, tryingtograbhisthroat.Helaughs."You-afreak."Flashesaredcard.Shearerrights.I-afreak.Caughtinatrap. Inthelockerroomeveryoneissilent.Iblame"triumph."Icantellfromthebehaviorofthecoachthatbroughthimtothepoint. Hewastoohurttoinflictpunishmentonme.Ifeelempty.Emptiness.Nothing.Onlyregret.UsuallyIfindajustification,when wrong.It'sme,andsoonandsoforth,Iam,whatis-andtherestofthenonsenseofthiskind.Butnotthistime.Itruly understandwhatledthosewhodefendedmeinthepast.Teresa,myfamily,coaches,kidsclub.Thistime,Ihaveno excuses. Returninghome,thecoachdidnotsayaword. Uponarrivalatthe"FourSeasons"Hewishedmegoodnight.Imumbledsomethinginreply. "Donotdostupidthings,Roy." ThatnightIdecidedtogiveup.Youjustturnedthirty,Roy.Goaway,leaveeverything,godosomethingelse.Youneedto stopinflictingpaintoyourselfandyourlovedones,thosewithwhomyouwork.IspoketoTeresa.ShesaidthatIwillmiss football.No,Iwillnot,Ireplied.Anyexerciseisbetterthanthismadness.Throwafit,feelhelpless,angryattheothervent.I feltthatinthelockerroomnooneunderstandsmywordsaboutcomplacency,Ilosttheargument.Toomanypeoplereston theirlaurelsandhavebeenhappywithwhattheyalreadyhave.Letitbeastheywant.It'snotforme,soIneedtogo. Thenextmorningateighto'clockIwaswaitingforthecoachnearthe"Carrington".Thistimeitwastoolate.At9.15,whenI wasabouttoleave,therewasacoach.Weenteredtheroomandsatdown.ItoldhimIwasgoingtogoaway."No,Roy,it's  justmomentum.""No,it'snotthat-Iexplained.-Idonotdotheirjobs,noneofuscannotcopewiththem-Icannottakeany more."Wetalked,listenedtomycoachmore.Heunderstooditall.Heagreedwithmyargumentsaboutthecomplacency thateverythingisfallingapart,andthatawaitsusifwedonottakedecisivesteps.Iarguedthatallagreedandwenthome.I toldhimthatIwouldnotplaythenextmatchoftheChampionsLeaguewiththe"Lille". OnMondayafternoonhecametoseemecoach.HesatdownnexttomeandTeresa."Roy,youarecorrectlynotedofpoor performanceandpoorgame.Youwouldhavemadearecklessact,steppingoutoffootball.Thinkaboutyourfamily.""I've alreadydecidedtocoach.""Ifyougonowintheprimeoflife,youwillregretittherestofyourlife"-heinsisted.Teresastood athisside."Playtomorrow,Roy.Wewillsolveallproblems.""Coach,allofmybeingsaysI'mright.IfeellikeI'mdoing wrong.Icannolongertoleratethisbluffandrubbish.Wedeceiveourselves.""Think,Roy.Comebacktomorrow,ifyou want."

ThinkingandtalkingtoTeresa,Idecidedtoreturntotheclubandplayagainstthe"Lille".IdiditforAlexFerguson.Hestood bymysidenomatterwhathappened,andtoleavenowwouldbelikethattogivehimaslap,butit'sunlikelyheneeds,when andastheclubarenotdoingbetter. Weplayedhardagainstthe"Lille".Nohigh-pricedpowerisnotofthiscommand,butaftertwentyminutes,werealizedthat wefaceadifficultmatch.Becksscoredonegoalinninetyminutes.Oneniltothe"Lille"!  AfewweekslaterwewenttoLaCoruna.Scholesbroughtusaheadbeforethebreak.Inthesecondhalfofthefieldrivals haveaddedmomentum.Butwefeelconfident.Itwasnotuntilsixminutesbeforetheendofthemeeting,theyarenot equalized.Inthelastminute,GarycouldnotleaveNaybetaoffside-1:2.Weshouldnothavetomisstwogoalsinthelast fiveminutes. Meetingwith"Deportivo"inhisfield,foundthedegreeofspecialimportance.Mykneewasaching-thesameknee,whichI upgraded.IttrulyachedwhenIwenttowarmupbeforeamatchwith"Deportivo".Icouldnotbenditorturnwithoutsevere pain."Icannotplay-Ithought.-Ineedtoplay,becausethisgamemeanssomuch,andyoucannotmiss."Igrittedhis teethandheldonthefieldallninetyminutes.Itwascrazy.Ruudbroughtusforward,butFabienmadetwomistakes,andwe lost2:3,butintheendwith"Deportivo"cameoutinthenextstep. Buttheexponentialgamewasameetingon"Enfield"inNovember.Ididnotplayduetoinjury."Liverpool"defeated3-1,but couldhavescoredsixgoalsandall.Wegaveup.Nowthe"Liverpool"showeddeterminationinherentinuswhenwewanted to.Owen,Gerrard,Murphy,Carragher,theywerealltrueplayers'Liverpool'.Theyfoughtfortheballwithfury,andweare onceagainservingitsownnumber.Onthatday,thedifferencebetweenusandtherestleveled. Then,ofcourse,followedby"Highbury"andanotherearfulfromtheteam,locatedontherise.Wecouldhardlyattackbyan opponent.Playingawaywiththe"Arsenal"wasfuckingdisaster.WehaveopenedthescorethankstoPaulScholes.But immediatelyafterthebreak,GaryNevillelosttheballnearthecenterlineofthefield.PiresledtotheshockpositionFreddie Ljungberg-1:1.Garysays,andheisrightthatfootball-ateamgame,andwehadmanychancestocorrecthismistake. Fabiensavedus,"Arsenal"iscreatedmomentbymoment.Fiveminutesbeforetheendofthegamehittheballpoorly Fabien,andHenryscoredagoal.LongpassfromVieiraallowedHenrytore-achievesuccess.Nowallthebumpstoppledby Fabien. Continuedtalkingaboutwhowillreplacecoach.Capello,Hitzfeld,MartinO'Neill,Ericsson... NoneedtoonceagainsaythatIrespectAlexFerguson.Ididnotwanthimtogofromtheclub,anddidnotbelievethatthe "United"willallowhimtoleave.Atthesametime,Iwasintriguedbythequestionaboutourfuturecoach.Wehadtotake somedrasticmeasurestostopourfall-thatisexactlywhathappenedtous. OnedayinlateFebruary,thecoachtoldmethathethinkshisdecisiontogiveupandstay."You'recrazy"-Ilaughed.Buthe wasserious.Henegotiatedanewcontractwithmanagement.Iwashappy.Intruth,Icouldnotimaginethathewasgoingto playSaturdayattheraces,whilehisteam-yes,histeamcameoutonthefield.Helookedgreat,wasfullofenergyandlust forbattle.Whynot? Hesooncalledameetingoftheteamtoofficiallyannouncehisdecision.Someonewrotethatthismeetinghastakena coupleofplayersawayatearandallthatthecoachbegantoapplaud.Infact,onlyacoupleofpeopleclappedawkwardlyas helefttheroom.Heturnedandsaid,"Fuckyoutohell!"-Thinkingthatwelaughathim.Ofcourse,everyonewasvery happy. Theturningpointcametoolate,sowecansavetheseason.Thereweregames,importantgamesthatwewononlyonthe class.Ruudscoringgoalsalmosteverytimeitwanted.Fabiensavedusinmanygames.Buthisglaringerrors,thoughthey wererare,anointedhimintheoverallexcellentperformanceoftheseason. Ipulledhamstringinanothermatchwith"Deportivo"overkotorymmyprevailedinbothgames,quarterfinals-2-0and3-2. Fourweeksonthesidelines. Iwasabletoreturntothefirstsemi-finalmatchwiththe"Bayer",comingonassubstitute.Weplayedadraw-2-2,thatwas notquitegood,bearinginmindthenextmeetingataparty,butatleastwestillhadachancetogetintothefinal. Iwentintothesecondleginthestartinglineupandthetwenty-eighthminutegoalscored.Attheendofthefirsthalf,"Bayer" equalized.Thatwasenoughforthem-1:1.Wecouldnottakeonemoresteptothisglory.Wecalmeddownthatwonthe "treble".Wewerelulledcomplacency,whichappearedduetorecentsuccesses.Lastseasonwedeservedsomething deserved-nothing.  AfterthegameIlookedatthedressingroom.Someoftheplayersarenotreallyexperiencedthebitternessofdefeat. Laurentfeltugly.IwassorrytoCebu.Heandhispriceof28millionpoundshasbecomethescapegoatforafailedour season.Othersmanagedtoescapepunishment.TolaytheblameonCebu.Tooeasy.Andwrong.Glory,abeliefin invincibility,bloatedinthepress,costusdearly.Watch"Rolex",garagesfullofcars,fuckinghome,securityforlife-we forgotaboutthegame,lostthedesire,whichbroughtusthe"Rolex",carsandhouses. Thepenultimategameoftheseasoninwhichwemetinhisfieldwiththe"Arsenal",butevenmoreexposedexisting problemsinourteam.Themenagainstchildren.Theyjustkilledus.Wecouldnotandtocomeclosetotheirgoal.They couldnotevenforcethemfight.Weslidintotheabyss-thattherewasnodoubt.That'swherewecomefrom.Heroesof yesterday'sday. MickMcCarthywasreplacedascoachofIreland'sGreatJackinFebruary1996.Beforethathecoached,"Millwall".Hewas familiarwiththeIrishteamandsuitedtotheroleofcoach.HeandIwereneverclosefriends.McCarthy,PekiBonner,Gerry PeytonandDavidO`LearywerethemainplayersintheRepublicofIreland.Iwasoneoftheguysarealwayssittinginthe rearseatbus.Thebigboysusedtogotogetherforsupper,butwepreferredtodrinkbeer.McCarthywaspartofthelegend ofCharlton."CaptainFantastic". TheirfirstgameundertheguidanceofMcCarthy,IspentthequalifieragainstRussiaonthe"LansdowneRoad."Captainin thatmatchwasAndyTownsend.WhenAndywasreplacedcaptain'sarmbandpassedtome.Iwassentoffforthathit Russianfootballer."DisgraceKeane"-readoneoftheheadlinesthenextday. BecauseoftheinjuriesI'vemissedafewgames.ButthenewspaperssaidthatIdidnotwanttoplayforhiscountry.Such talkmakesmeprotest.TomethereweremoreIrishthanthewholeofthispatrioticbravadosurroundingthenationalteamof

Ireland.Havingmissedafewgames,IwassummonedtoaWorldCupqualifyingmatchagainstIcelandnationalteam,which wespentathome.McCarthyhasputmeinmyplacelastdefender.KetelDerven,afriendofMcCarthywroteinacolumnthis morninginwhichheaccusedmeofbetrayingmyowncountryandurgedthefansboomewhenIshowupinthefield. Someonetookhisadvice,butnotmany.Weplayedadraw-0:0. Wecouldnotgetintothefinalofthe1998WorldChampionships,heldinFrance,losingtoBelgiumintheplay-offs.Ifwe beatthenationalteamofIcelandinDublin,wewenttothechampionship.TobefairtoMcCarthy,hewasabletochangethe gamestyleteam.Heinsistedthatweplayedinapass.Iwashappytoplayallninetyminutes.WhenAndyTownsendleftthe team,Iwasappointedcaptain.WewereclosetohavingtogototheEuropeanChampionship2000inHollandandBelgium, butlosttoTurkeyintheregularplay-offs. Thedrawforthequalifyinggroups,the2002WorldCuphasplacedIrelandinadifficultgroup.PortugalandHollandwere dangerous.Wehadtoplaytheirfirsttwomatchesontheroadwiththeseteams.  AfterthedrawtheWorldCup,IhadarrangedtomeetwithMcCarthyinManchester.Hecametomyhouse.Ascaptain,I decidedtostickwithhimononelevel,toprovetohimtheneedforreform.Shouldtrytodoeverythingrighttodecideallthe details.Wediscussedexistingproblems.Heagreedwithme."Ofcourse,you'reright"-hesaid.  Aboveall,weraisedquestionsdiets.The"United"andotherleadingclubsknewthatpasta,fruitsandvariouscerealswere thebestdishestoprepareforthegames.Itwasclearthatadietthedaybeforethematchwasmoreimportantthanfoodon gameday.Nutritionistsaresothoroughlystudiedthescienceofpreparationforthematch,weknewthatitwasbettertoeat threehoursbeforethegame,thanfour.Heagreedwitheverything.Ithoughtthatwehitonhishands. Buteverythingseemstobecomeonlyworse. WespenthisfirstqualifyingmatchagainstHollandinAmsterdam.Thedaybeforethegameweweresupposedtoholda trainingsessionatthestadium,"Ajax".Wehadtoeatbeforeleavingthehotel.Iwenttoarestaurantandsawafewguys fromtheteamsittingatthetableandeatsandwicheswithcheese.Icouldnotbelievemyeyes.Wediscusseddiet.Fucking cheesesandwiches-andahalfhoursbeforetheworkout!Twenty-fourhoursbeforeanimportantqualifyingmatch.From Holland. Iapproachedthetablewheresattheleadersoftheteam. "Where'sthepasta,fruitandcereal?"-Iasked. Silence.WhenIwasindisgustturnedtoleave,therewasavoice:"Youhadtoorderitmyself."ItwasIanEvans,McCarthy's righthand. Ireturnedtomyroom.God,I'mthatwastedtheirtime?On"OldTrafford"coachlistenedtoeverything,wantedtoknowyour opinionabouteverything,abouteverydetailthatcouldgiveusanysortwasanadvantage."Youhadtoorderitmyself."Idid.  AfterItalkedtoMickMcCarthyandBurne,ourdoctoraboutpre-matchpreparation. Iorderedapizza,whicharesoldtogo,becausethehotelcouldnotmakeanythingbetterfortheremainingtime. Whenwearrivedatthestadium,McCarthycametome. "What'swrongwithyou?"-Heasked. "What'swrongwithme?-Ireplied.-Whathappenedtome?We,thefuck,playwiththeNetherlandstomorrowinWorldCup qualifyingmatch!DoyouthinkthatJimmyFloydHasselbainkisnoweatingthesefuckingsandwicheswithcheeseorpizza takeawayfucking?" Wewereinthematch2-0.TheDutchwerequarrelingamongthemselves,asitusuallyhappenswiththem,butwemade themsweat.Butinthesecondhalf,theythrewinafightallhisstrength.Wemanagedtokeepthetiedscore-2:2. Iwasdisgusted.Inthisgroup,weneededeverypointthattheycouldtake.Wejustlosttwopoints.Yetaroundhappy. InPortugal,wehavealsoplayedadraw-1:1.Playershavecontinuedtosurpriseandgetaresultagainstallthehand. DespitethefactthatwehadtoworkhardinthegamewithCyprusintheendweachievedvictory.Iscoredtwogoals.Now,I woundup.Despiteeverything,IwantedtogototheWorldCup.IwanteditmorethanbeforetheUS-94.Wehadsomegood youngplayers:RobbieKeane,DamienDuff,StephenCarr,SteveFinnen,ShayGiven,butalsosomegoodprofessionals: MarkKinsella,"Stan"-Staunton,largeQuinn,KennyCunningham.Wehadenoughcapacitytosetourselvesbigproblem. Thespiritintheteamwasmagnificent.Wealwayshaveachancetowin,andwetried,buteffortishalfthebattleinthe internationalmatches. WewenttotheWorldCup,finishingsecondinthegroupandwontheplay-offswithIran.Ihaveasoreknee.Ihavenot playedforthe"United"threeandahalfweeksbeforethefirstmatchat"LansdowneRoad."ItoldAlexFergusonthatreally wanttoplayfortheteam.HewasafraidthatIhaveexacerbatedaninjuryandwillnotbeabletohelptheteaminthe ChampionsLeague. Thefateoftheclubandcoachintheleaguewashangingbyathread,but,asalways,showedhisbesttraits."Okay,Roy,I knowhowyouneedit.Comeandplaythehomegame,andifyouachievethedesiredresult,youcanskipthereturnmatch. It'sadeal." WebeatIran2-0.Theirteamhasnotshownagoodgame.IcouldnotimaginethattheywouldhavewonIrelandbyamargin ofthreegoalsinthesecondmatch.Mykneeachedduringthematch.ThenextmorningIwasdefeated.Phonedthecoach.I toldhimeverything.HetalkedtoMcCarthy.Noproblem,heagreed.Icouldgobackto"OldTrafford"andreceivetreatment. ...WearrivedinKorea.Thehotelisgreat.WerestonSunday.IntheeveningMcCarthygatherstheteam.Wehavea problem.Wehavenotreceivedanytrainingequipment,nomedicinesandmedicalequipment.Aspecialliquid,whichwe needtoacclimatize,andno.Nooneknowswhattimewestarttraining.McCarthysaidthatwejustLetusjog. ThateveningIwenttoMcCarthy.Inhisroomwasquiet. "Whatdoesitallmean,Mick?"-"Theybroughtme"-hesays."Whoarethey?"-Ithoughtandtoldhimthateverything necessaryshouldhavebeenheretwoweeksago.WeattheWorldChampionships. Thenextmorning,wewanderaroundthehotel,tryingtounderstandhowwecontinuetobe.Intheend,wesitinabustogo tothetrainingfield.Gladeissimilartotheconcretefloor,withruts.Rocksscatteredeverywhere.Mewithmysoresonsucha fieldtoplaydangerously.

OnMondayevening,ourluggagearrived.Nexttothetruckhadbeenparkedforirrigation.Thebandwidthofthefieldabout twentyyardsisburiedunderwater.Therestofitwas,asalways,isstiffasstone.Itwasdangerousplay.Ilaughed.Westill hadaworkout,whoseorganizationhasbeenverybadly.Asalways.Fuckingfarce.Asalways,afarce. LeeCarsleyandSteveFinneninjuredontheso-calledfield.Suchtrainingcouldnotservethecauseofallourlives.Have youanideaoftheGermans,Frenchmen,ItaliansandBritish,workinginsuchconditions?OrSpanish,theParaguayans-all excepttheIrish?WhenIreturnedtothehotel,itfeltempty.I'vehadenough.It'snotforme.I'mnottrainedforthispurposeby thesweatoftheseason. InthehotelItookashowertocooloff.Comingoutoftheroom,ImetMcCarthyinthecorridor. "CanItalktoyou,Mike?"-"Yes,yes,butwhat'sthematter?"-"I'vehadenough.Iwanttogohome."-"Whatdoyoumean?" -"I'mgoinghome."-"Areyousurethattherightthing?"-"Yes,anddonottrytoconvinceme.Justletmego."- "Why?Becauseofme,training,field?" Ofcourse,Ioughttogiveanaffirmativeansweris:becauseofyou,trainingforsuchtraining.Allofthiswasadisgrace.ButI didnotsayanything. "No,Ijustdealwithme.I'vehadenough."-"Excellent,excellent,-hesaid.-WhatshouldItellthepress?"-"Tellthem... personalproblems." WeagreedthatEddieCorcoran(responsibleforlogisticalsupport),Iwillbooktheplanetickets.Weshookhands. "Letallthreeofusleft"-Itoldhim. "Yes,ofcourse,"-heagreed. Iwentforawalk.WhenIreturnedIwenttomydoctorMickBurne. "WhathappenedtoRoy?" "I'vehadenough,Mike.Icannotstandit.Thisisnotjustabaddream-thisistheworstnightmare.Ilovetotraininfullforce, workinginfullforce.Ilikejokes,funnight,drinking.ButthisWorldCup..."Afewminuteslaterwesatinsilence."Iknow Mike,Iwouldhavetowaituntilthechampionshipandbitetheirtongue." "Roy,waituntilafterthechampionship.Givemefixit." "Inhell,-Iansweredhim.-Comeon.TellMcCarthy,I'llwaituntiltheendofthetournament." "Excellent"-saidMick. Twominuteslater,MickMcCarthybackwith.Hewassetupprettyaggressively. "What'sgoingon,Roy?" "IthoughtthatIhadtowaitforthetournament.Iwanttostay." "IcalledColinHealytoreplaceithasarrivedandyou"-hesaid. "Howfast"-Ithought.Therewasapause.NowIwassomewhatembarrassed.IlikedColin,he'sagreatguy.Maybehe deservedhistime. "OhOkay-Isaid.-Maybeyou'reright.I'llfly.Let'sleaveeverythingasis." "I'dlikeyoutothinkaboutme"-hesaid. "Mick,I'muncomfortablewiththewholething.Icantellbyyourbehaviorthatyouprefermydecision..."Butsomewhere deepinmysubconscious,Ithought,maybeIhavetherighttochangethedecision,maybeIdeservetheprivilegesof doubt.Becausepeopleoftenchangetheirdecision. "Comeonthenallleave,Mike,I'mgoingback." "So-hesaid.-Whatwouldyouliketohearfromme?" "You'reacoach,youanddecide." Hesaidnothing.Lefttheroom. Yes,Iknowthattherehavebeenachildthatdoesnotspeakinmyfavor.Butsomethinghappenedthathadhappened.Ifelt thatIneededtotalk.Iwashesitant.Idesperatelywantedtoplay.ButIcouldnottolerateanynonsense.Ofthesesituations noonecomesoutahero. IwalkedintotheroomMickBurne. "TellhimI'mleaving." Infact,Iwouldlikedecentandgenerousresponse:Youmadeamistake,letherforgetit. Sooneveryoneknewwhathadhappened.IgotacallfromEngland,Michael.Wetalked.Itoldhimeverything.Itreminded meoftheconsequencesofmydeparture.Itoldhimthat,perhaps,duetothefactthatIstay,therewillbehis,andother effects.Ijustgocrazy.MichaelaskedmetocallAlexFerguson.ThecoachkeptintouchwithMichael.Heknew."Thecoach isonvacationinMalta-Michaelsaid.-Callhimonamobilephone." "No,Michael." "Roy,youhavetodoitforhim." Italkedtothecoachforanhour.Itoldhimeverything.Heagreedthateverythingseemedlikeafarce.LikeMichael,he spokeagainabouttheconsequencesofmydecision.AlexFergusonalsoagreedthatIhavetherighttochangehismind. Shortlybeforeeighto'clockinthedoortherewasaknock.ItwasMickBurne. "Roy,youhavethreeminutestodecide.WeneedtosendafaxtothecompositionofteamsinFIFA". "Istay"-Isaid.  Atlunchthenextday,McCarthycalledateam. "Inrecentdays,manythingshavehappened.Nowwemustforgeteverythingweneedtocontinuetodotheirjob.""Yes-I thought.-Ireallywanttoplayattheworldchampionships.Histongue." IagreedtotwointerviewswithTomHumphriesandPaulKimmedzhom.Irespectthesetwoguys.Withtheminterestingto talkto.Theyaskinterestingquestions,underapeculiarangle,butnotlikethat:"Whowillwin?Andsuchandsuchagood player?"Theyhadatalentfortheinterviewer.Theyaskedtheusualquestions.Ijustansweredthem.OnThursdaymorning about7:45IcalledTomHumphries.ThedifferenceintimefromDubliniseighthours,andthenewspaper«IrishTimes»is abouttocomeoutinprint.

"Roy,canImeetwithyoutoseethisinterviewandmakesurethatallhavedescribedit?"Iwentdown,readthearticleand gaveapositiveresponse.IwasgratefultoTomthathehadaskedmeaboutit. ThearticleappearedonThursdaymorning.ItwasjusttransferredeverythingIfelt.Ithoughtthatpeopleinmycountryhavea righttoknowthetruth.ThousandsofthemhaveboughtexpensivethingstodotosupportusattheWorldChampionships, mybrothersandcousinalsoweregoingtofly.Forthem,thistripwasimportantinlife.Millionsmorewillwatchthematches athome,asIin1988and1990.Dopeopledeservetodisrespectthemselves?Theyspenttheirmoneyearnedthroughhard work,forwhichwewerepaid,andweshouldoffendthemineverypossiblepublicrelationsmoves.Maybeweshouldpay tributetothemandpaydebts.Forexample,howtouniteandgotogoal.Andtellthemthetruthhereandnow.  Asacaptain,"ManchesterUnited"IoftenmakesuchstatementswhenIthinkit'stimetotellthepublicaboutwhatis happening.ThesecretveilsurroundingtheeventsintheRepublicofIrelandwashangingtoolong.  At6:30Iwenttodinner.Atthetable,oneoftheleaderswerenot.Weweretoldthatthemeetingwillbeheldat7:30the team.Iknewwhatwashappening.ArticleTom.  At7.30therestaurantcametoMcCarthy.Theremainingteamleaderswerealsowithhim. "Okay,guys,weneedtobenominatedtomorrowateighto'clockinthemorning.Packyourbagsandattachlabelstothem.  Andwhilewearehere,-hecontinued-Iwouldliketolistentoanyonewhowantstoexpresssomethingthathedoesnot like."Iknewwhathewasgettingat.ButIwascalm-myconsciencewasclear.AfterItoldhimeverythingeyetoeye.As teamcaptainI'vealreadysaid,andtherewasnoneedtorepeat. Everyonefeltthatthescandalafoot.Allknowwhatthemeetingisheld.He'sgoingtodealwithmeinfrontofeveryone.Bean adult. Iwascalm. "Roy,youseemtonotlikesomething." "Well,Mike,-Isaid.-Whyyoucouldnotstartrightawaywiththis?Wetalkedaboutitamongthemselves.Whydonotwe continuethisconversationapartfromtheothers?" "Youdidithimself,introducedthepeople"-hesaid,holdinganewspaperarticleHumphriesbehindhim. "Whatdoyoumean"madebypeople'?" "Thisisaninterviewin«Times». "Hey,Isawthisinterview.IpromisedHimonaSunday,I'dgivehimaninterview.Italkedtohimyesterday.Idonotrejecta singleword.Interviewexcellent." "Youwentagainsthispartners-herepeated.-Haveyoueverwantedtoplayforhiscountry.YouhadtogotoIran,whilehe pretendedtobeinjured,soasnottoplayformycountry."Now,hewentintoarage. "Youknow,that'snottrue-Ireplied.-Didyoutalktomycoach,andyouknewthatIwasnotinshapebeforethematch againstIraninDublin.YouyourselfthankingmeforwhatIcametoDublin.Youagreedthatthe2-0-agreatresult."Iwas furious-hewasdistortingthefacts,"Youknowthewholetruth.Youarealiar!" IntheworstmovieIwassupposedtobeabadcharacter.Isatandlistenedtothemostunbelievableanddespicable allegations.Iwasaccusedofhavingfakedthatinjury.No,Icannottoleratethis.Ofthisdeceiver.McCarthyrunsontothe fieldafterourdrawwithPortugalinthequalifyingmatchandhuggedme."Justholdontome,Roy,fifteenseconds.Letus photographedtogether.I'mgoingtolookgreat." "You-fuckinggoat.Ithoughtyouwereagoodplayer.Idonotthinkyou'reagoodcoachandIdonotthinkyou'reagood man.You-fuckingagoatandyoucanpokeyourselfthisWorldCupintheass.Idonothaveanyrespectforyou." "Ifyoudonotrespectme,Idonotthinkyoucanplayonmyteam."  AfterthatIgotupandleft.PeoplesaythatAlexFergusonwouldnevernottalk.Wrong.IfSirAlexFergusonhasaccusedme offakinganinjury,Iwouldhavetoldhimwheretogo.Throughouthiscareer,includingthematchagainstIraninDublin,I spentalotofmeetings,playingthroughpain.Forme,themostseriouschargethatcouldonlycomeupwithwasthefactthat Ihadfeignedinjury. WhenIwenttomyroom,Irealizedthathegotwhathewanted.Itwassetup.Heintentionallypodnachivalme,waitingfora response.Humiliationinfrontofalltheplayers-whathewanted.Maybeevenhedidnotexpectthis. Soontherewasaknockatthedoor.StanandQuinn."Whythehellshouldthesepuppets?"-Ithought. "Roy,wecannotbelieveyourwords,wecannotbelievewhathappened"-saidQuinn.  Again,Quinn:"WecannotbelievethatyoumisstheWorldCup.Westandbehindyou." "Thanksguys,youallthebest"-Isaid,watchingthemfromtheroom. IstilldidnotknowthattheyhavewithMcCarthygaveapressconferencebeforecometomeandexpresstheirsympathy.  AlanKellycame."Roy,you,inmyopinion,gonetoofar-hesaidtome.Butthenhecontinued:-Youareentitledtotheir opinion."Thephonerang.ItwasMichaelKennedy. "Youjustkickedout"-hesaid. "Lord,Michael,howquicklyspreadnews."Wasonly8.15. "Thisisstatedinthenewsletter." "What?Already?"IturnedtoKells:"Everythingisalreadyinthenewsathome." "Yes,-hesaid.-Weheldapressconference-I,Stan,NeilandMike.Immediatelyafterthemeeting.Mikeaskedustostand besidehimandsupporthim.Iexpressedmyopinion.Perhapsyouwilldespiseme." "No,Alan,youhavearighttotheiropinion." That'sit.Icalledthe"United".IexplainedtoAnnWylie,whopickedupthephonethatIneededtogethomeasquicklyas possible. Thenextchapterinthebookofmylifeclosed.WhatIexperiencedbeforetheWorldCup,evenmorecompelledtorespect theclub,forwhichIplayedevenmorehelptounderstandhisgreatness.Ihavemorefriendswithfriends-oldandnew-and strengthenedthefriendshipthathasbeenthecornerstoneofmylife.

Whateverelsethepossibilityofreconciliationhadbeenexhausted,whentheRepublicofIrelandplayershavesignedthe statementthatIshouldnotreturntotheteam.I'lljuststop.Icanonlyguessastowhocameupwiththisstatement.Andwho forcedtheyoungpeopleunderhimtosign. IhopethatonceagainwillplayforIreland.ButnotwithMcCarthy.Likeme,hechosehisownway.