Proverbs 1

www.corsinet.com - Brain Candy BRAIN CANDY QUOTATIONS famous proverbs and adages A HUGE collection of proverbs, proverbial sayings, clichés, maxims, adages, aphorisms, platitudes, mottos, old saws, inanities, common sayings, or whatever you want to call them. Proverbs A - L Proverbs M - Z

PROVERBS A-L A bad cause requires many words. German Proverb A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. Arab Proverb A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush. English Proverb A broken hand works, but not a broken heart. Persian Proverb A cat has nine lives. Proverb of Unknown Origin A clear conscience is a soft pillow. German Proverb A close friend can become a close enemy. Ethiopian Proverb A closed mouth catches no flies. Italian Proverb A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs. German Proverb A courtyard common to all will be swept by none. Chinese Proverb A dimple on the chin, the devil within. Gaelic Proverb A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master. Russian Proverb A drink precedes a story. Irish Proverb A drowning man is not troubled by rain. Persian Proverb A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees. William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790) A forest is in an acorn. Proverb of Unknown Origin A friend in need is a friend indeed English Proverb A friend's eye is a good mirror. Irish Proverb A good denial, the best point in law. Irish Proverb

A good husband is healthy and absent. Japanese Proverb A hard beginning maketh a good ending. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) A healthy man is a successful man. French Proverb A hedge between keeps friendship green. French Proverb A hen is heavy when carried far. Irish Proverb A hound's food is in its legs. Irish Proverb A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel. Portuguese Proverb A hungry man is an angry man. English Proverb A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on. French Proverb A little too late, is much too late. German Proverb A loan though old is not gift. Hungarian Proverb A lock is better than suspicion. Irish Proverb A man does not seek his luck, luck seeks its man. Turkish Proverb A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal. Yiddish Proverb A man may well bring a horse to the water, but he cannot make him drink. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) A man should live if only to satisfy his curiosity. Yiddish Proverb A monkey never thinks her baby's ugly. Haitian Proverb A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows all the corners. Irish Proverb A penny for your thoughts. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) A penny saved is a penny gained. Scottish Proverb A poor beauty finds more lovers than husbands. English Proverb A prudent man does not make the goat his gardener. Hungarian Proverb A rumor goes in one ear and out many mouths. Chinese proverb A silent mouth is melodious. Irish Proverb

A single Russian hair outweighs half a Pole. Traditional Russian Saying A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in. Greek Proverb A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Bible - Proverbs 15:1. A son is a son till he gets him a wife, But a daughter's a daughter the rest of your life. Proverb of Unknown Origin A spoon does not know the taste of soup, nor a learned fool the taste of wisdom. Welsh Proverb A table is not blessed if it has fed no scholars. Yiddish Proverb A teacher is better than two books. German Proverb A thief believes everybody steals. Proverb of Unknown Origin A thorn defends the rose, harming only those who would steal the blossom. Chinese proverb A throne is only a bench covered with velvet. French Proverb A trade not properly learned is an enemy. Irish Proverb A tree falls the way it leans. Bulgarian Proverb A white Christmas fills the churchyard. French Proverb A wise man hears one word and understands two. Yiddish Proverb A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion. Chinese Proverb A woman has the form of an angel, the heart of a serpent, and the mind of an ass. German Proverb A worthy woman is far more precious than jewels, strength and dignity are her clothing. Bible - Proverbs 31 Act in the valley so that you need not fear those who stand on the hill. Danish Proverb Advice should be viewed from behind. Swedish Proverb Advice when most needed is least heeded. English Proverb After shaking hands with a Greek, count your fingers. Albanian Saying Age is honorable and youth is noble. Irish Proverb All is well that ends well. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) All things grow with time, except grief. Yiddish Proverb

An angry man is not fit to pray. Yiddish Proverb An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Proverb of Unknown Origin An ass in Germany is a professor in Rome. Traditional German Saying An enemy will agree, but a friend will argue. Russian Proverb An Englishman will burn his bed to catch a flea. Turkish Proverb An ox remains an ox, even if driven to Vienna. Hungarian Proverb And old rat is a brave rat. French Proverb Anger can be an expensive luxury. Italian Proverb Anger is as a stone cast into a wasp's nest. Malabar Proverb Anger without power is folly. German Proverb Appetite comes with eating. French Proverb As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. Bible - Proverbs 26:11 As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Bible - Proverbs 23:7 As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country. Bible - Proverbs 25:25. As mad as a March hare. Proverb of Unknown Origin As proud as a peacock. Proverb of Unknown Origin As sluttish and slatternly as an Irishwoman bred in France. Traditional Irish Saying As the best wine makes the sharpest vinegar, the truest lover may turn into the worst enemy. Proverb of Unknown Origin As the big hound is, so will the pup be. Irish Proverb As we live, so we learn. Yiddish Proverb Be neither intimate nor distant with the clergy. Irish Proverb Beggars shouldn't be choosers. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) Better give a penny then lend twenty. Italian Proverb Better late than never. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)

Better no doctor at all than three. Polish Proverb Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know. English Proverb Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. Chinese Proverb Better wear out shoes than sheets. Scottish Proverb Between the devil and the deep blue sea. Proverb of Unknown Origin Beware of a silent dog and still water. German Proverb Black as hell, strong as death, sweet as love. (About coffee.) Turkish proverb Blood is thicker than water. English Proverb (17th Century) Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die. Irish Proverb Butter would not melt in her mouth. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) Call on God, but row away from the rocks. Indian Proverb Children are poor men's riches. English Proverb Children should be seen and not heard. Proverb of Unknown Origin Children suck the mother when they are young and the father when they are old. English Proverb. Choose neither a woman nor linen by candlelight. Italian Proverb Climb mountains to see lowlands. Chinese Proverb Clogs to clogs in three generations. English Proverb Clouds gather before a storm. Proverb of Unknown Origin Commit a sin twice and it will not seem a crime. Jewish Saying Curiosity killed the cat. Proverb of Unknown Origin Darkness reigns at the foot of the lighthouse. Japanese Proverb Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own. Chinese Proverb Death always comes too early or too late English Proverb Death closes all doors. English Proverb

Death pays all debts. English Proverb Did hogs feed here or did Lithuanians have a feast here? Traditional Polish Saying Do not be born good or handsome, but be born lucky. Russian Proverb Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not having given it wings. Indian Proverb Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped. African proverb Do not rejoice at my grief, for when mine is old, yours will be new. Spanish Proverb Do not speak of secrets in a field that is full of little hills. Hebrew Proverb Do not talk Arabic in the house of a Moor. Oriental Proverb Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead. Chinese Proverb Don't imitate the fly before you have wings. French Proverb Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Proverb of Unknown Origin Eat well, drink in moderation, and sleep sound, in these three good health abound. Latin Proverb Epigrams succeed where epics fail. Persian Proverb Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding. Bible - Proverbs 17:28 Even a small thorn causes festering. Irish Proverb Every ass loves to hear himself bray. Proverb of Unknown Origin Every cloud has a silver lining. English Proverb Every dog hath its day. English Proverb Every garden may have some weeds. English Proverb Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven. Yiddish proverb Everyone loves justice in the affairs of another. Italian Proverb Everyone pushes a falling fence. Chinese Proverb Evil enters like a needle and spreads like an oak tree. Ethiopian Proverb Evil is sooner believed than good. Proverb of Unknown Origin

Experience is a comb which nature gives to men when they are bald. Eastern Proverb Fame is a magnifying glass. English Proverb Feather by feather the goose can be plucked. French Proverb Fine feathers make fine birds. English Proverb Flattery makes friends and truth makes enemies. Spanish Proverb Fortune is a woman; if you neglect her today do not expect to regain her tomorrow. French Proverb Fortune is blind, but not invisible. French Proverb Friends are like fiddle strings, they must not be screwed too tight. English Proverb Friends are lost by calling often and calling seldom. French Proverb Friendship is a furrow in the sand. Tongan Proverb Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll eat forever. Chinese Proverb Give neither counsel nor salt till you are asked for it. Italian Proverb Give the devil his due. English Proverb Glutton: one who digs his grave with his teeth. French Proverb God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. Jewish Proverb God gives the nuts, but he doesn't crack them. German proverb God heals, and the physician takes the fee. French Proverb God help the rich man, let the poor man beg! Old English Proverb God help the rich, the poor can look after themselves. Old English Proverb Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. Chinese Proverb Good advice is often annoying, bad advice never. French Proverb Good as drink is, it ends in thirst. Irish Proverb Good luck beats early rising. Irish Proverb Gray hairs are death's blossoms. English Proverb

Half a loaf is better than none. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) Haste makes waste. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) Have a horse of your own and then you may borrow another's. Welsh Proverb He is not wise that is not wise for himself. English Proverb He lied like an eyewitness. Russian Insult He makes his home where the living is best. Latin Proverb He that can't endure the bad will not live to see the good. Jewish Proverb He that is born to be hanged shall never be drowned. French Proverb (14th century) He that is rich will not be called a fool. Spanish Proverb He that lives on hope will die fasting. North American Proverb He that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent. Bible - Proverbs 28:20. He that marries for money will earn it. American Proverb He that plants thorns must never expect to gather roses. English Proverb He that seeks trouble never misses. English Proverb (17th century) He that spareth his rod hateth his son. Bible - Proverbs 24 He that winna be ruled by the rudder maun be ruled by the rock. Scottish Proverb He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. Chinese proverb He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them. Chinese proverb He who comes with a story to you brings two away from you Irish Proverb He who could foresee affairs three days in advance would be rich for thousands of years. Chinese Proverb He who does not know one thing knows another. Kenyan Proverb He who gets a name for early rising can stay in bed until midday. Irish Proverb He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything. Arabian Proverb He who has once burnt his mouth always blows his soup. German Proverb

He who holds the ladder is as bad as the thief. German Proverb He who knows nothing, doubts nothing. Spanish Proverb He who leaps high must take a long run. Danish Proverb He who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount. Chinese Proverb He who serves two masters has to lie to one. Portuguese Proverb He who sups with the devil has need of a long spoon. English Proverb He who would climb the ladder must begin at the bottom. English Proverb He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. Traditional German Saying He whose face gives no light, shall never become a star. William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790) Heaven lent you a soul Earth will lend a grave. Chinese Proverb Honesty is the best policy. English Proverb How many will listen to the truth when you tell them? Yiddish Proverb Hygiene is two thirds of health. Lebanese Proverb If a man be great, even his dog will wear a proud look. Japanese Proverb If a man deceives me once, shame on him; if he deceives me twice, shame on me. Italian Proverb If all pulled in one direction, the world would keel over. Yiddish Proverb If God lived on earth, people would break his windows. Jewish Proverb If rich people could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living. Yiddish Proverb If the patient dies, the doctor has killed him, but if he gets well, the saints have saved him. Italian Proverb If two men ride a horse, one must ride behind. Proverb of Unknown Origin If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people. Chinese Proverb If you believe everything you read, better not read. Japanese proverb If you bow at all bow low. Chinese Proverb If you do not sow in the spring you will not reap in the autumn. Irish Proverb

If you love him, don't lend him. Polish Proverb If you take big paces you leave big spaces. Burmese Proverb If you want to be criticized, marry. Irish Proverb If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. Romanian Proverb If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words. Chinese Proverb In a calm sea every man is a pilot. Spanish Proverb In America half an hour is forty minutes. German Proverb In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse. Greek Proverb In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek. French Proverb Instinct is stronger than upbringing. Irish Proverb It is a bad hen that does not scratch herself. Irish Proverb It is a bold mouse that nestles in the cat's ear. English Proverb It is a long road that has no turning. Irish Proverb It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust nobody. English Proverb (18th century) It is an ill wind that blows nobody any good. Proverb of Unknown Origin It is better to be a male for one day than a female for ten. Kurdish Proverb It is better to be born a beggar than a fool. Spanish Proverb It is better to conceal one's knowledge than to reveal one's ignorance. Spanish Proverb It is better to exist unknown to the law. Irish Proverb It is better to sit down than to stand, it is better to lie down than to sit, but death is the best of all. (About laziness) Indian Proverb It is hard to pay for bread that has been eaten. Danish Proverb It is not a secret if it is known by three people. Irish Proverb It is not enough to run, one must start in time. French Proverb It is not fish until it is on the bank. Irish Proverb

It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats. Russian proverb It is sweet to drink but bitter to pay for. Irish Proverb It is the good horse that draws its own cart. Irish Proverb It is the quiet pigs that eat the meal. Irish Proverb It takes time to build castles. Rome wan not built in a day. Irish Proverb It's an ill wind that blows no good. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) It's not a matter of upper and lower class but of being up a while and down a while. Irish Proverb Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. Chinese Proverb Keep a thing for seven years and you'll find a use for it. Irish Proverb Kill not the goose that lays the golden eggs. English Proverb Lack of resource has hanged many a person. Irish Proverb Last ship, best ship. English Proverb Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one. Chinese Proverb Lend your money and lose your friend. English Proverb Let sleeping dogs lie. English Proverb Let your heart guide your head in evil matters. Spanish Proverb Life is a bridge. Cross over it, but build no house on it. Indian Proverb Life without a friend is death without a witness. Spanish Proverb Like a fish out of water. Latin Saying Like a lame man's legs that hang limp is a proverb in the mouth of a fool. Bible - Proverbs 26:7 Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout. Irish Proverb Little pitchers have big ears. Proverb of Unknown Origin Live with wolves, and you learn to howl. Spanish Proverb Look before you leap. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)

Look down if you would know how high you stand. Yiddish Proverb Love enters a man through his eyes, woman through her ears. Polish Proverb Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass. French Proverb Love me, love my dog. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) Love your neighbors, but don't pull down the fence. Chinese proverb Love, pain, and money cannot be kept secret; they soon betray themselves. Spanish Proverb Luck has a slender anchorage. English Proverb

Proverbs A - L Proverbs M - Z

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famous proverbs and adages A HUGE collection of proverbs, proverbial sayings, clichés, maxims, adages, aphorisms, platitudes, mottos, old saws, inanities, common sayings, or whatever you want to call them. Proverbs A - L Proverbs M - Z

PROVERBS M-Z Mad as a march hare. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) Make hay while the sun shines. English Proverb Mankind fears an evil man but heaven does not. Chinese Proverb Many a friend was lost through a joke, but none was ever gained so. Czech Proverb Many hands make light work. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) May as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb. English Proverb May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope. Traditional Irish Curse May the grass grow at your door and the fox build his nest on your hearthstone. May the light fade from your eyes, so you never see what you love. May your own blood rise against you, and the sweetest drink you take be the bitterest cup of sorrow. May you die without benefit of clergy; May there be none to shed a tear at your grave, and may the hearthstone of hell be your best bed forever. Traditional Wexford Curse May you have a bright future - as the chimney sweep said to his son. Irish Proverb May you wander over the face of the earth forever, never sleep twice in the same bed, never drink water twice from the same well, and never cross the same river twice in a year. Traditional Gypsy Curse

May your every wish be granted. Ancient Chinese Curse May your left ear wither and fall into your right pocket. Traditional Arab Curse Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting. French Proverb Mere words do not feed the friars. Irish Proverb More grows in the garden than the gardener knows he has sown. Spanish Proverb More things belong to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) Nature breaks through the eyes of the cat. Irish Proverb Necessity is the mother of invention. Irish Proverb Necessity knows no law. Irish Proverb Necessity never made a good bargain. North American Proverb Need teaches a plan. Irish Proverb Never cut what can be untied. Portuguese Proverb Never love with all your heart, it only ends in breaking. English Proverb Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper. Scottish Proverb Never put off till tomorrow what may be done today. English Proverb Night is the mother of council. Latin Proverb No man limps because another is hurt. Danish Proverb No man ought to look a given horse in the mouth. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) No rose without a thorn, or a love without a rival. Turkish Proverb No time like the present. English Proverb Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. Chinese Proverb Not wine...men intoxicate themselves; Not vice...men entice themselves. Chinese Proverb Nothing dries sooner than tears. Latin Proverb Nothing is as burdensome as a secret. French Proverb

Nothing is impossible to a willing heart. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) One beggar at the door is enough. French Proverb One cannot shoe a running horse. Dutch Proverb One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. English Proverb (17th century) One flower will not make a garland. French Proverb One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade. Chinese Proverb One good turn deserves another. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) One joy scatters a hundred griefs. Chinese Proverb One of these day is none of these days. English Proverb One should go invited to a friend in good fortune, and uninvited in misfortune. Swedish Proverb One swallow maketh not a summer. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) One woman never praises another. Estonian Proverb Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches English Proverb Out of the frying pan into the fire. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet. French Proverb Patience is poultice for all wounds. Irish Proverb Patience is the best medicine. Proverb of Unknown Origin People live in each other's shelter. Irish Proverb Pigs might fly, but they are most unlikely birds. Proverb of Unknown Origin Politics is a rotten egg; if broken, it stinks. Russian proverb Poor men seek meat for their stomach, rich men stomach for their meat. English Proverb Power lasts ten years; influence not more than a hundred. Korean Proverb Practice makes perfect. English Proverb Praise the young and they will blossom Irish Proverb

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. Bible - Proverbs 16:18 Procrastination is the thief of time. Proverb of Unknown Origin Public before private and country before family. Chinese Proverb Put silk on a goat, and it's still a goat. Irish Proverb Quiet people are well able to look after themselves. Irish Proverb Rags to riches to rags. Lancastrian Proverb Rain beats a leopard's skin, but it does not wash off the spots. Ashanti Proverb Rats desert a sinking ship. French Proverb Riches run after the rich, and poverty runs after the poor. French Proverb Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. Dutch Proverb Rome was not built in a day. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. English Proverb Seek counsel of him who makes you weep, and not of him who makes you laugh. Arabic Proverb Set a beggar on horseback, and he 'll out ride the Devil. German Proverb Set a thief to catch a thief. English Proverb Silence was never written down. Italian Proverb Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can get. Spanish Proverb Sit a beggar at your table and he will soon put his feet on it. Russian Proverb Six hours' sleep for a man, seven for a woman and eight for a fool. English Proverb Small children give you headache; big children heartache. Russian Proverb Some people are masters of money, and some its slaves. Russian Proverb Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the time I am being carried on great wings across the sky. Ojibway Saying Sorrow for a husband is like a pain in the elbow, sharp and short. English Proverb Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them. English Proverb (17th century)

Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. Slovenian Proverb Stars are not seen by sunshine. Spanish Proverb Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. Bible - Proverbs 9:17. Sweet is the wine but sour is the payment. Irish Proverb Take heed of enemies reconciled, and of meat twice boiled. English Proverb. Take thy thoughts to bed with thee, for the morning is wiser than the evening. Russian Proverb Talk of the devil and he is sure to appear. English Proverb Tell me who you live with and I will tell you who you are. Spanish Proverb Tell the truth and shame the devil. Proverb of Unknown Origin The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. Chinese Proverb The best advice is found on the pillow. Danish Proverb The best thing about a man is his dog. French Proverb The big thieves hang the little ones. Czech proverb The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully. Russian proverb The comforter's head never aches. Italian Proverb The darkest hour is that before the dawn. English Proverb The day will come when the cow will have use for her tail. Irish Proverb The devil looks after his own. Proverb of Unknown Origin The devil seduced Eve in Italian. Eve mislead Adam in Bohemian. The Lord scolded them both in German. Then the angel drove them from paradise in Hungarian. Traditional Polish Saying The fat is in the fire. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials. Chinese Proverb The girl who can't dance says the band can't play. Yiddish Proverb The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Proverb of Unknown Origin The great thieves lead away the little thieves. French Proverb

The green new broom sweepeth clean. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) The hole is more honorable than the patch. Irish Proverb The hours of folly are measured by the clock, but of wisdom no clock can measure. William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790) The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. Yiddish Proverb The jay bird don't rob his own nest. West Indies Proverb The light heart lives long. Irish Proverb The man who does not love a horse cannot love a woman. Spanish Proverb The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out. Chinese Proverb The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot. Irish Proverb The mills of God grind slowly but they grind finely. Irish Proverb The moon is made of a green cheese. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) The more the merrier. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) The morning is wiser than the evening. Russian Proverb The nail that sticks up will be hammered down. Japanese Proverb The night rinses what the day has soaped. Swiss Proverb The only good thing that comes from the east is the sun. Traditional Portuguese Saying The palest ink is better than the best memory. Chinese proverb The pine stays green in winter...Wisdom in hardship. Chinese Proverb The raggy colt often made a powerful horse. Irish Proverb The reverse side also has a reverse side. Japanese proverb The right man comes at the right time. Italian Proverb The road to a friend's house is never long. Danish proverb The Russian knows the way, yet he asks for directions. Traditional German Saying The sea has an enormous thirst and an insatiable appetite. French Proverb

The silent dog is the first to bite. German Proverb The smallest thing outlives the human being. Irish Proverb The Spaniard is a bad servant but a worse master. Traditional English Saying The sun will set without thy assistance. Hebrew Proverb The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man. French Proverb The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the scythe. Russian proverb The tide tarrieth for no man. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) The tongue is more to be feared than the sword. Japanese Proverb The tongue like a sharp knife...Kills without drawing blood. Chinese Proverb The truth is not always what we want to hear. Yiddish Proverb The turtle lays thousands of eggs without anyone knowing, but when the hen lays an egg, the whole country is informed. Malay Proverb The wearer best knows where the shoe pinches. Irish Proverb The well fed does not understand the lean. Irish Proverb The whisper of a pretty girl can be heard further than the roar of a lion. Arabian Proverb The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water molds itself to the pitcher. Chinese Proverb The wise man sits on the hole in his carpet. Persian Proverb The wolf loses his teeth, but not his inclinations. Spanish Proverb The work praises the man. Irish Proverb The world is a rose: smell it and pass it on to your friends. Persian Proverb The world would not make a racehorse of a donkey Irish Proverb There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same. Chinese Proverb There are more old drunkards than old doctors. French Proverb There are only two types of Chinese -- those who give bribes and those who take them. Russian Proverb There are two great pleasures in gambling: that of winning and that of losing. French Proverb.

There is but one good mother-in-law and she is dead. English Proverb There is honor even among thieves. English Proverb There is hope from the sea, but none from the grave. Irish Proverb There is no fireside like your own fireside Irish Proverb There is no luck except where there is discipline. Irish Proverb There is no need like the lack of a friend. Irish Proverb There is no strength without unity. Irish Proverb There is plenty of sound in an empty barrel. Russian Proverb There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip. Greek Proverb They who love most are least valued. English Proverb Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790) Think with the wise but walk with the vulgar. German Proverb Thirst is the end of drinking and sorrow is the end of drunkenness. Irish Proverb Though a tree grow ever so high, the falling leaves return to the ground. Malay Proverb Three diseases without shame: Love, itch and thirst. Irish Proverb Three Spaniards, four opinions. Spanish Proverb Time is a great story teller. Irish Proverb Time trieth truth. English Proverb To be rich is not everything, but it certainly helps. Yiddish Proverb To deny all, is to confess all. Spanish Proverb To leave is to die a little. French Proverb To lend is to buy a quarrel. Indian Proverb To talk without thinking is to shoot without aiming. English Proverb (18th century) To teach is to learn. Japanese Proverb

To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation. Latin Proverb To whom you tell your secrets, to him you resign your liberty. Spanish Proverb Today is the first day of the rest of your life. North American Saying Tomorrow is a new day. English Proverb Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish Proverb Tomorrow never comes. Proverb of Unknown Origin Trouble rides a fast horse. Italian Proverb True nobility is in being superior to your previous self. Hindustani Proverb Trust in Allah, but tie your camel. Old Muslim Proverb Truth and oil always come to the surface. Spanish Proverb Truth has a handsome countenance but torn garments. German Proverb Truth is the safest lie. Jewish Proverb Truth stands the test of time; lies are soon exposed. Bible - Proverbs 12:19 Truth will be out. Latin Proverb Two heads are better than one. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) Two shorten the road. Irish Proverb Two thirds of the work is the semblance. Irish Proverb Unless you enter the tiger's den you cannot take the cubs. Japanese Proverb Visit your aunt, but not every day of the year. Spanish Proverb Walk straight, my son - as the old crab said to the young crab. Irish Proverb Want a thing long enough and you don't Chinese Proverb War is death's feast. George Herbert "Outlandish Proverbs" Water for oxen, wine for kings. Spanish Proverb We'll never know the worth of water till the well go dry. Scottish Proverb

Went in one ear and out the other. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) What belongs to everybody belongs to nobody. Spanish Proverb What breaks in a moment may take years to mend. Swedish proverb What one knows it is sometimes useful to forget. Latin Proverb What you can not avoid, welcome. Chinese Proverb When a father helps a son, both smile; but when a son must help his father, both cry. Jewish Proverb When a twig grows hard it is difficult to twist it. Every beginning is weak. Irish Proverb When fire is applied to a stone it cracks. Irish Proverb When fortune knocks upon the door open it widely. Spanish Proverb When ill luck falls asleep, let none wake her. Italian Proverb When its time has arrived, the prey becomes the hunter. Persian Proverb When one dog barks another will join it. Latin Proverb When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion. Ethiopian proverb When the apple is ripe it will fall. Irish Proverb When the drop (drink) is inside, the sense is outside. Irish Proverb When the iron is hot, strike. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) When the liquor was gone the fun was gone. Irish Proverb When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby. Nigerian Proverb When the sun shineth, make hay. John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546) When the sword of rebellion is drawn, the sheath should be thrown away. English Proverb When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. African Proverb When there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world. Chinese Proverb When we sing everybody hears us, when we sigh nobody hears us. Russian Proverb When you live next to the cemetery you cannot weep for everyone. Russian Proverb

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice. Indian proverb When your enemy falls, don't rejoice -- but don't pick him up either. Yiddish Proverb Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Bible - Proverbs 11:14. Where the tongue slips, it speaks the truth. Irish Proverb Where there is love there is pain. Spanish Proverb Where there is no vision, the people perish. Bible - Proverbs 29:18 Where there's music there can be love. French Proverb While the cat's away, the mice can play. Proverb of Unknown Origin Who begins too much accomplishes little. German proverb Who knows most speaks least. Spanish Proverb Who lies with dogs shall rise up with fleas. Latin Proverb Wine divulges truth. Irish Proverb Witches and harlots come out at night. English Proverb With foxes we must play the fox. Proverb of Unknown Origin With money you are a dragon; with no money, a worm. Chinese Proverb Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. Bible - Proverbs 23:13-14. Without justice, courage is weak. North American Proverb Wonder is the beginning of wisdom. Greek proverb Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow is but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to This Day. Sanskrit Proverb You cannot make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Irish Proverb You cannot reason with a hungry belly; it has no ears. Greek Proverb You cannot unscramble eggs. North American Proverb You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. Dutch Proverb

You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince. North American Proverb You must live with a person to know a person. If you want to know me come and live with me. Irish Proverb Young men may die, old men must. English Proverb Young wood makes a hot fire. Greek Proverb Your health comes first; you can always hang yourself later. Yiddish Proverb Your neighbor's apples are the sweetest. Yiddish Proverb Youth does not mind where it sets its foot. Irish Proverb Youth sheds many a skin. The steed (horse) does not retain its speed forever. Irish Proverb You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. Irish Proverb

BRAIN CANDY QUOTATIONS COLLECTION corsinet sites

great writing quotes Excluding poetry and song lyrics, the following quotations are the best examples of beautiful writing Brain Candy collector has found from many sources.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart. - - - Fred Allen, CoEvolution Quarterly, Winter, 1977 Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built. - - - James Allen But, O Sarah! if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; In the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again. - - - Major Sullivan Ballou, to his wife, a week before his death in 1861, during the Civil War A cup of coffee - real coffee - home-browned, home-ground, home-made, that comes to you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow, perfectly sweet, neither lumpy nor frothing on the Java: such a coffee is a match for twenty blue devils, and will exorcise them all. - - - Henry Ward Beecher "Eyes and Ears" On Broadway it was still bright afternoon and the gassy air was almost motionless under the leaden spokes of sunlight, and sawdust footprints lay about the doorways of butcher shops and fruit stores. And the great, great crowd, the inexhaustible current of millions of every race and kind pouring out, pressing round, of every age, of every genius, possessors of every human

secret, antique and future, in every face the refinement of one particular motive or essence -- I labor, I spend, I strive, I design, I love, I cling, I uphold, I give way, I envy, I long, I scorn, I die, I hide, I want. Faster, much faster than any man could make the tally. The sidewalks were wider than any causeway; the street itself was immense, and it quaked and gleamed and it seemed ... to throb at the last limit of endurance. - - - Saul Bellow "Seize the Day" Son of man, keep not silent, forget not deeds of tyranny. Cry out at the disaster of a people, recount it unto your children and they unto theirs. From generation to generation the hordes swept in, ran wild and savage and there was no deliverance, valiance, and revolt. How the mighty are fallen, the great in spirit and stout of heart, walking to their death with a halo of eternity. - - - Yehuda L. Bialer (reference to the Holocaust) There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye first with a merry twinkle, then it creeps down on its hands and knees and plays around the mouth like a pretty moth around the blaze of a candle, then it steals over into the dimples of the cheeks and rides around in those whirlpools for a while, then it lights up the whole face like the mellow bloom on a damask rose, then it swims up on the air, with a peal as clear and as happy as a dinner-bell, then it goes back again on gold tiptoes like an angel out for an airing, and it lies down on its little bed of violets in the heart where it came from. - - - Josh Billings To see a hillside white with dogwood bloom is to know a particular ecstasy of beauty, but to walk the gray Winter woods and find the buds which will resurrect that beauty in another May is to partake of continuity. - - - Hal Borland, New York Times, November 28, 1948 The true beloveds of this world are in their lover's eyes lilacs opening, ship lights, school bells, a landscape, remembered conversations, friends, a child's Sunday, lost voices, one's favorite suit, autumn and all seasons, memory, yes, it being the earth and water of existence, memory. - - - Truman Capote "Other Voices, Other Rooms" Over increasingly large areas of the United States, spring now comes unheralded by the return of the birds, and the early mornings are strangely silent where once they were filled with the beauty of bird song. - - - Rachel Carson, "The Silent Spring," 1962 We were taken to a fast-food café where our order was fed into a computer. Our hamburger, made from the flesh of chemically impregnated cattle, had been broiled over counterfeit charcoal, placed between slices of artificially flavored cardboard and served to us by recycled juvenile delinquents. - - - Jean Michel Chapereau, "Un Hiver Américain" Turn pimp, flatterer, quack, lawyer, parson, be chaplain to an atheist, or stallion to an old woman, anything but a poet; for a poet is worse, more servile, timorous and fawning than any I have named. - - - William Congreve [In 1889] the last big tract of Indian land was declared open for settlement, in Oklahoma. The claimants and the speculators mounted their horses and lined up like trotters waiting for a starting gun. The itchy ones jumped the gun and were ever after known as Sooners -- and Oklahoma was thereafter called the Sooner State. - - - Alistair Cooke, "America," 1973 What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. - - - Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator, 1890 The hair was a Vaseline cathedral, the mouth a touchingly uncertain sneer of allure. One, twowham! Like a berserk blender the lusty young pelvis whirred and the notorious git-tar slammed forward with a jolt that symbolically deflowered a generation of teenagers and knocked chips off 90 million older shoulders. Then out of the half-melted vanilla face a wild black baritone came bawling in orgasmic lurches. Whu-huh-huh-huh f'the money! Two f'the show! Three t'git riddy

naa GO CAAT GO! - - - Brad Darrach, on Elvis Presley, Life, Winter, 1977 When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. And now when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be one fairy for every boy or girl. - - - James Matthew Barrie "Peter Pan" They were ravished with its loveliness; a warm, soft-voiced spring-green landscape dotted with sassafras and scarlet-colored snakewood, smelling of wild strawberries and hart's tongue. - - - Marshall Fishwick, "Virginia: A New Look at the Old Dominion," 1959 The human language is like a cracked kettle on which we beat out a tune for a dancing bear, when we hope with our music to move the stars. - - - Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary Most marvelous and enviable is that fecundity of fancy which can adorn whatever it touches, which can invest naked fact and dry reasoning with unlooked for beauty, make flowers bloom even on the brow of the precipice. - - - Margaret Fuller I have a most peaceable disposition. My desires are for a modest hut, a thatched roof, but a good bed, good food, very fresh milk and butter, flowers in front of my window and a few pretty trees by my door. And should the good Lord wish to make me really happy, he will allow me the pleasure of seeing about six or seven of my enemies hanged upon those trees. - - - Heinrich Heine When the moon shall have faded out from the sky, and the sun shall shine at noonday a dull cherry red, and the seas shall be frozen over, and the icecap shall have crept downward to the equator from either pole . . . when all the cities shall have long been dead and crumbled into dust, and all life shall be on the last verge of extinction on this globe; then, on a bit of lichen, growing on the bald rocks beside the eternal snows of Panama, shall be seated a tiny insect, preening its antennae in the glow of the worn-out sun, the sole survivor of animal life on this our earth -- a melancholy bug. - - - William Jacob Holland "The Moth Book" 1903 A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought, and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and the time in which it is used. - - - Oliver Wendell Holmes, opinion, Towne v. Eisner, January 7, 1918 Melting pot Harlem -- Harlem of honey and chocolate and caramel and rum and vinegar and lemon and lime and gall ... where the subway from the Bronx keeps right on downtown. - - - Langston Hughes, Freedomways, Summer, 1963 To believe in a child is to believe in the future. Through their aspirations they will save the world. With their combined knowledge the turbulent seas of hate and injustice will be calmed. They will champion the causes of life's underdogs, forging a society without class discrimination. They will supply humanity with music and beauty as it has never known. They will endure. Towards these ends I pledge my life's work. I will supply the children with tools and knowledge to overcome the obstacles. I will pass on the wisdom of my years and temper it with patience. I shall impact in each child the desire to fulfill his or her dream. I shall teach. - - - Henry James Somewhere there was once a Flower, a Stone, a Crystal, a Queen, a King, a Palace, a Lover and his Beloved, and this was long ago, on an Island somewhere in the ocean 5,000 years ago ... Such is Love, the Mystic Flower of the Soul. This is the Center, the Self. - - - Carl Jung When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses, for art establishes the basic human truths which must serve as the touchstone of our judgment. - - - John F. Kennedy- Address, Amherst College, October 26, 1963

It is widely rumored, and also true, that I wrote my first novel in a closet. Before I get all rapturous and carried away here, I had better admit to that. The house was tiny; I was up late at night typing while another person slept, and there just wasn't any other place for me to go but that closet. The circumstances were extreme. And if I have to -- if the Furies should take my freedom or my sight -- I'll go back to writing in the dark. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, writers will go to stupefying lengths to get the infernal roar of words out of their skulls and onto paper. - - - Barbara Kingsolver, Small Wonder It was cold out there, bitter, biting, cutting, piercing, hyperborean, marmoreal cold, and there were all these Minnesotans running around outdoors, happy as lambs in the spring. - - - Charles Kuralt, Dateline America, 1979 I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark burn out in a brilliant blaze than it be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. - - - Jack London, 1916 Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters. - - - Norman Maclean A political convention is after all not a meeting of a corporation's board of directors; it is a fiesta, a carnival, a pig-rooting, horse-snorting, band-playing, voice-screaming medieval get-together of greed, practical lust, compromised idealism, career-advancement, meeting, feud, vendetta, conciliation, of rabble-rousers, fist fights (as it used to be), embraces, drunks (again as it used to be) and collective rivers of animal sweat. - - - Norman Mailer "Some Honorable Men: Political Conventions" New York is one of the capitals of the world and Los Angeles is a constellation of plastic, San Francisco is a lady, Boston has become Urban Renewal, Philadelphia and Baltimore and Washington wink like dull diamonds in the smog of Eastern Megalopolis, and New Orleans is unremarkable past the French Quarter. Detroit is a one-trade town, Pittsburgh has lost its golden triangle, St. Louis has become the golden arch of the corporation, and nights in Kansas City close early. The oil depletion allowance makes Houston and Dallas naught but checkerboards for this sort of game. But Chicago is a great American city. Perhaps it is the last of the great American cities. - - - Norman Mailer, "Miami and the Siege of Chicago," 1968 The mind I love must have wild places, a tangled orchard where dark damsons drop in the heavy grass, an overgrown little wood, the chance of a snake or two, a pool that nobody's fathomed the depth of, and paths threaded with flowers planted by the mind. - - - Katherine Mansfield There are some people who read too much: The bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as others are drunk on whiskey or religion. They wander through this most diverting and stimulating of worlds in a haze, seeing nothing and hearing nothing. - - - H. L. Mencken We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and riffle their pockets for new vocabulary. - - - James D. Nicoll When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. - - - Henri Nouwen "Out of Solitude" Down it came, the blessed deluge. The music of rain splashing on tents and tin sheds drove men to an ecstasy of rejoicing. They turned out to cheer; lifted up their faces and opened their mouths

to drink the bright drops; danced round, hallooing and shouting, getting drenched in the downpour. - - - Katherine Susannah Prichard "The Roaring Nineties" (1946) Hold on to your divine blush, your innate rosy magic, or end up brown. Once you're brown, you'll find out you're blue. As blue as indigo. And you know what that means. Indigo. Indigoing. Indigone. - - - Tom Robbins Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of a million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever. - - - Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross, "On Death and Dying," 1969 In the dark colony of night, when I consider man's magnificent capacity for malice, madness, folly, envy, rage, and destructiveness, and I wonder whether we shall not end up as breakfast for newts and polyps, I seem to hear the muffled cries of all the words in all the books with covers closed. - - - Leo Rosten Poetry is the journal of the sea animal living on land, wanting to fly in the air. Poetry is a search for syllables to shoot at the barriers of the unknown and the unknowable. Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they go away. - - - Carl Sandburg "Poetry Considered" When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that exalted, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. - - - George Bernard Shaw "Getting Married" (1908) But why wasn't I born, alas, in an age of Adjectives; why can one no longer write of silvershedding Tears and moon-tailed Peacocks, of eloquent Death, of the Negro and star-enameled Night? - - - Logan Pearsall Smith, "More Trivia: Adjectives", 1921 He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of small children; who has filled his niche, and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty , or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others, and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction. - - - Bessie Anderson Stanley (Prize-winning definition in a contest sponsored by Brown Book Magazine, Boston, 1904) Courage is not limited to the battlefield or to the Indianapolis 500 or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are...the inner tests, like remaining faithful when nobody's looking, like enduring pain when the room is empty, like standing alone when you're misunderstood, like fighting for what is right even when you know you are going to lose. - - - Charles R. Swindoll "Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life" He looked like the love thoughts of women. He could be a bee to a blossom—a pear tree blossom in the spring. He seemed to be crushing scent out of the world with his footsteps. Crushing aromatic herbs with every step he took. Spices hung about him. He was a glance from God. - - - Zora Neale Hurston "Their Eyes Were Watching God" If we hadn't our bewitching autumn foliage, we should still have to credit the weather with one feature which compensates for all its bullying vagaries-the ice-storm: when a leafless tree is clothed with ice from the bottom to the top -- ice that is as bright and clear as crystal; when every bough and twig is strung with ice-beads, frozen dew-drops, and the whole tree sparkles cold and white, like the Shah of Persia's diamond plume. Then the wind waves the branches and the sun comes out and turns all those myriads of beads and drops to prisms that glow and burn and flash with all manner of colored fires, which change and change again with inconceivable rapidity from blue to red, from red to green, and green to gold-the tree becomes a spraying fountain, a very explosion of dazzling jewels; and it stands there the acme, the climax, the supremest

possibility in art or nature, of bewildering, intoxicating, intolerable magnificence. One cannot make the words too strong. - - - Mark Twain This is the fairest picture on our planet, the most enchanting to look upon, the most satisfying to the eye and spirit. To see the sun sink down, drowned in his pink and purple and golden floods, and overwhelm Florence with tides of color that make all the sharp lines dim and faint and turn the solid city to a city of dreams, is a sight to stir the coldest nature, and make a sympathetic one drunk with ecstasy. - - - Mark Twain "Autobiography," 1924 When you long with all your heart for someone to love you, a madness grows there that shakes all sense from the trees and the water and the earth. And nothing lives for you, except the long deep bitter want. And this is what everyone feels from birth to death. - - - Denton Welch I cannot just heave everything I know into the abyss. But I know it is coming. And when it comes, when I have made my sacrificial offerings to the gods of understanding, then the ruptures will cease. Healing waters will cover the land, giving birth to new life, burying forever the ancient, rusting machines of my past understandings. And on those waters I will set sail to places I now only imagine. There I will be blessed with new visions and new magic. I will feel once again like a creative contributor to this mysterious world. But for now, I wait. An act of faith. Land ho. - - - Margaret Wheatly "A Simpler Way" We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true. - - - Woodrow Wilson A tearing wind last night. A flurry of red clouds, hard, a water colour mass of purple and black, soft as a water ice, then hard slices of intense green stone, blue stone and a ripple of crimson light. - - - Virginia Woolf, in her diary, August 17, 1938

BRAIN CANDY POETRY AND SONGS corsinet sites

pieces of great song lyrics beautiful words from songs The following are bits and pieces of the Brain Candy collector's favorite song lyrics, accumulated through the years. In the case of some shorter works, the entire song is included. And as we wind on down the road our shadows taller than our soul there walks a lady we all know who shines white light and wants to show how everything still turns to gold and if you listen very hard the tune will come to you at last when all are one and one is all to be a rock and not to roll. - - - Led Zeppelin, "Stairway to Heaven" All you touch and all you see, Is all your life will ever be. - - - Pink Floyd, "Breathe"

All of us get lost in the darkness Dreamers learn to steer by the stars All of us do time in the gutters Dreamers turn to look at the cars - - - Rush "The Pass" Amazing grace! How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found, Was blind, but now I see. Through many dangers, toils, and snares, I have already come: 'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, And grace will lead me home. - - - John Newton, "Amazing Grace" And Honey, I miss you and I'm being good. And I'd love to be with you if only I could. - - - Bobby Goldsboro, "Honey" And if I can't be with you I would rather have a different face And if I can't be near you I would rather be adrift in space And if the gods desert us I would burn this chapel into flames And if someone tries to hurt you I would put myself in your place - - - Neil Finn "Try Whistling This" And if she asks you why you can tell her that I told you That I'm tired of Castles in the Air I've got a dream I want the world to share in castle walls Just leave me to despair Hills of forest green where the mountains touch the sky A dream come true, I'll live there 'til I die I'm asking you, to say my last good-bye The love we knew, ain't worth another try - - - Don McLean "Castles in the Air" And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon. - - - Harry Chapin, "Cat's In the Cradle" And the seasons, they go round and round, And the painted ponies go up and down. We're captive on the carousel of time. We can't return, we can only look Behind from where we came, And go round and round and round in the circle game. - - - Tom Rush, "The Circle Game" And the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls, And tenement halls, And whispered in the sounds of silence. - - - Paul Simon, "Sounds of Silence" And though you want to last forever, You know you never will, You know you never will, And the good-bye makes the journey harder still. - - - Cat Stevens "O Very Young" And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking. Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older.

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death. - - - Pink Floyd, "Time" Are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight? Are you sorry we drifted apart? Does your memory stray to a bright sunny day? When I kissed you and called you sweetheart? Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare? Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there? Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again? Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight? - - -Roy Turk and Lou Handman, "Are You Lonesome Tonight" Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama Key Largo Montego, baby why don't we go Ooh I wanna take you down to Kokomo, we'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow That's where we wanna go, way down in Kokomo. - - -Beach Boys, "Kokomo" Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me, Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee. - - - Stephen Foster, "Beautiful Dreamer" Because you're mine I walk the line. - - - Johnny Cash, "I Walk the Line" Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone Without a dream in my heart Without a love of my own - - -Lorenz Hart, "Blue Moon" But of all these friends and lovers There is no one compares with you. And these memories lose their meaning When I think of love as something new. Though I know I'll never lose affection For people and things that went before I know I'll often stop and think about them In my life, I love you more. - - -Beatles "In My Life" Come on baby, light my fire Try to set the night on fire - - -Robbie Kreiger , "Light My Fire" Day is done gone the sun from the lake from the hill from the sky all is well safely rest God is nigh - - - Anonymous "Taps" Doesn't anybody stay in one place any more? - - - Carole King, "Far Away"

Don't go changing, to try and please me You never let me down before. - - - Billy Joel, "Just the Way You Are" Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep 'Cause I'd miss you, baby, and I don't want to miss a thing. 'Cause even when I dream of you, The sweetest dream would never do I'd still miss you baby, and I don't want to miss a thing. - - - Aerosmith "Don't want to miss a thing" Down the street the dogs are barking And the day is getting dark. As the night comes in a-falling, The dogs´ll lose their bark And the silent night will shatter From the sounds inside my mind, For I´m one to many mornings And a thousand miles behind. From the crossroads of my doorstep, My eyes they start to fade, As I turn my head back to the room Where my love and I have laid.... - - - Bob Dylan "One Too Many Mornings" Driving that train, high on cocaine Casey Jones you'd better watch your speed Trouble ahead, trouble behind And you know that notion just crossed my mind - - - Robert Hunter (Grateful Dead) "Casey Jones" Every breath you take and every move you make Every bond you break, every step you take I'll be watchin' you Every single day and every word you say Every game you play, every night you stay I'll be watchin' you - - -Sting, "Every Breath You Take" Every time I look in the mirror All these lines on my face getting clearer The past is gone It goes by, like dusk to dawn Isn't that the way Everybody's got their dues in life to pay - - - Aerosmith, "Dream On" Fly away, to the rainbow in the sky Gold is at the end for each of us to find There the road begins, where another one will end Here the four winds know who will break and who will bend All to be the Master of the Wind - - - Manowar, " Master of the Wind" Fred Jones was worn out from caring for his often screaming and crying wife during the day, but he couldn't sleep at night for fear that she, in a stupor from the drugs that didn't ease the pain would set the house ablaze

with a cigarette - - - Ben Folds Five, "Cigarette" (that's the whole song) Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose. Nothin' ain't worth nothin' but it's free. - - - Kris Kristofferson, "Me and Bobby McGee" Happy days are here again, The skies above are clear again: Let us sing a song of cheer again, Happy days are here again! - - - Jack Yellen "Happy Days Are Here Again" He goes along just as a water lily Gentle on the surface of his thoughts his body floats Unweighed down by passion or intensity Yet unaware of the depth upon which he coasts And he finds a home in me For what misfortune sows, he knows my touch will reap - - -Fiona Apple, "Pale September" He not busy being born is busy dying. - - - Bob Dylan, "It's Alright, Ma" Hear that lonesome whippoorwill? He sounds too blue to fly. The midnight train is whining low, I'm so lonesome I could cry. - - - Hank Williams, "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" How can I be sure in a world that's constantly changing? How can I be sure where I stand with you? Whenever I, whenever I am away from you I wanna die cause you know I wanna stay with you. How do I know? Maybe you're trying to use me; flying too high can confuse me; touch me but don't take me down. - - - The Young Rascals, "How Can I Be Sure?" How I wish How I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls, Swimming in a fish bowl, Year after year Running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears Wish you were here - - - Pink Floyd, "Wish You Were Here" How many times can a man turn his head, and pretend that he just doesn't see? - - - Bob Dylan "Blowing in the Wind" I come to you defenses down with the trust of a child. - - - Peter Gabriel "Red Rain" I didn't mean to take up all your sweet time... I'll give it right back to you, one of these days - - - Jimi Hendrix

I don't believe in destiny or the guiding hand of fate I don't believe in forever, or love as a mystical state I don't believe in the stars or the planets or angels watching from above But I believe there's a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love and make it last. - - - Rush "Ghost Of A Chance" i like a tombstone, cuz it weathers well, and if it stands or if it crumbles, only time will tell. and you can carve my name in marble, you must cut it deep; there'll be no dancing on the gravestone, you must let me sleep. ---suzanne vega, "tombstone" I met a girl who sang the blues and I asked her for some happy news, but she just smiled and turned away. And the three men I admire most, The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost, They caught the last train to the coast The day the music died. - - - Don McLean, "American Pie" I sing my heart out to the wide open spaces I sing my heart out to the infinite sea I sing my vision to the sky-high mountains I sing my song to the free. - - - Pete Townshend "Song is Over" I want to stand with you on a mountain I want to bathe with you in the sea I want to lay like this forever Until the sky falls down on me - - -Savage Garden, "Truly Madly Deeply" I woke up this morning, Smiled at the rising sun, Three little birds, Sat on my doorstep, Singing sweet songs - - -Bob Marley "Three Little Birds" I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints Sinners are much more fun. - - - Billy Joel, "Only the Good Die Young" I'm going, I'm going, where the water tastes like wine, We can jump in the water, stay drunk all the time - - -Canned Heat, "Going Up The Country" I'm just a soul whose intentions are good, Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood. - - - Joe Cocker, "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" I'm not scared of dyin' and I don't really care if it's peace you find in dyin' well then let the time be near. And when I die and when I'm gone there'll be one child born

and a world to carry on. - - - Laura Nyro, "And When I Die" I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light And I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories - - - Sarah McLachlan, "I Will Remember You" I'm wild again, Beguiled again, A simpering, whimpering child again Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I. - - -Lorenz Hart, "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered" I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter but I think it's about forgiveness... forgiveness, even if you don't love me anymore. - - -Don Henly "Heart of The Matter" If I should stay I would only be in your way So I'll go, but I know I'll think of you each step of the way And I will always love you I will always love you Bitter sweet Memories That's all I am taking with me Good-bye. Please don't cry We both know that I'm not What you need But I will always love you I will always love you. - - -Dolly Parton "I Will Always Love You" If the future's looking dark We're the ones who have to shine If there's no one in control We're the ones who draw the line Though we live in trying times We're the ones who have to try Though we know that time has wings We're the ones who have to fly. - - -Rush "Everyday Glory" If you said good-bye to me tonight, There would still be music left to write. - - - Billy Joel, "The Longest Time" If you want my body and you think I'm sexy come on sugar let me know. - - -Rod Stewart, "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy"

In every heart there is a room A sanctuary safe and strong To heal the wounds from lovers past Until a new one comes along" - - - Billy Joel "And So It Goes" In the arms of an Angel far away from here From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here - - - Sarah MacLachlan "In the Arms of an Angel" In the clearing stands the boxer, and a fighter by his trade. And he carries a reminder of every glove that laid him down... or cut him till he cried out in his anger and his shame "I am leaving! I am leaving" but the fighter still remains. - - - Paul Simon, "The Boxer" In the rain the pavement shines like silver All the lights are misty in the river In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight And all I see is him and me forever and forever - - - "On My Own" from Les Miserables in your eyes the light the heat in your eyes I am complete in your eyes I see the doorway to a thousand churches in your eyes the resolution of all the fruitless searches in your eyes I see the light and the heat in your eyes oh, I want to be that complete I want to touch the light, the heat I see in your eyes - - - Peter Gabriel "In Your Eyes" Is this the real life Is this just fantasy Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I'm easy come, easy go; little high, little low anyway the wind blows doesn't really matter to me To me - - -Queen, "Bohemian Rhapsody" It came upon the midnight clear, That glorious song of old, From angels bending near the earth To touch their harps of gold: "Peace on earth, good will to men From Heaven's all - gracious King" The world in solemn stillness lay To hear the angels sing. - - - Edmund Hamilton Sears, "The Angels' Song"

It's the heart afraid of dying, that never learns to dance; It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance; It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give; And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live. - - - Amanda McBroom, "The Rose" I've looked at life from both sides now From up and down, and still somehow It's life's illusions I recall I really don't know life at all. - - - Joni Mitchell "Both Sides Now" I've seen fire and I've seen rain I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you again - - - James Taylor "Fire and Rain" It was your song that made me sing It was your song that gave me wings It was your light that shined guiding my heart to find This place where I belong It was your song Dreams can come true With God's great angels like you - - -Garth Brooks "Your Song" Joy to the world All the boys and girls now Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea Joy to you and me - - -Hoyt Axton, "Joy to the World" Late at night a big ole house gets lonely, I guess every form refuge has its price And it breaks her heart to think her love is only Given to a man with hands as cold as ice. - - - Eagles "Lyin' Eyes" Life it seems, will fade away Drifting further every day Getting lost within myself Nothing matters no one else I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give There is nothing more for me Need the end to set me free - - - Metallica "Fade to Black" Like a circle in a spiral Like a wheel within a wheel Never ending or beginning On an ever-spinning reel As the images unwind Like the circles that you find In the windmills of your mind. - - - Michel LeGrand "Windmills of Your Mind" Little drops of rain Whisper of the pain Tears of love

Lost in the days gone by. - - - Robert Plant, "Thank You" Love can touch us one time And last for a lifetime And never let go till we're gone - - - Celine Dion "My Heart Will Go On" Love is a rose But you better not pick it. It only grows When it's on the vine. Handful of thorns And you'll know you missed it. You lose your love When you say the word MINE. - - - Neil Young, "Love Is A Rose" Lovin' you has made my life so beautiful And every day of my life is filled with lovin' you Lovin' you I see your soul come shining through And every time that we ooooh I'm more in love with you - - -Minnie Riperton, "Lovin' You" Mama may have Papa may have But God bless the child that's got his own That's got his own. - - - Arthur Herzog and Billie Holiday, "God Bless the Child" Maybe I will never be All the things that I'd like to be Now is not the time to cry Now's the time to find out why I think you're the same as me We see things they'll never see You and I are gonna live forever - - - Oasis "Live Forever" Memory. All alone in the moonlight I can smile at the old days I was beautiful then. - - - Trevor Nunn, "Cats" 'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. - - - John Howard Payne, "Home, Sweet Home" Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels The dizzy dancing way you feel As every fairy tale comes real I've looked at love that way. - - - Joni Mitchell, "Both Sides Now" Morning has broken Like the first morning. Blackbird has spoken Like the first bird. - - - Eleanor Farjeon, "A Morning Song" My eyes adored ya Though I never laid a hand on you My eyes adored ya Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see how I adored ya

So close, so close and yet so far - - -Frankie Valli, "My Eyes Adored You" My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue. An everlasting vision of the ever-changing view. - - - Carole King "Tapestry" Nights in white satin never reaching the end Letters I've written never meaning to send Beauty I'd always missed with these eyes before Just what the truth is I can't say any more Cause I love you Yes I love you Oh how I love you - - - Justin Hayward, "Nights In White Satin" Now some they do and some they don't And some you just can't tell And some they will and some they won't With some it's just as well. - - - Supertramp, "Good-bye Stranger" Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling From glen to glen, and down the mountain side. The summer's gone and all the flowers are dying Yet you, yet you, must go and I must bide. - - - Traditional Song "Danny Boy" Oh, the shark has pretty teeth, dear, And he shows them pearly white. Just a jackknife has Macheath, dear, And he keeps them out of sight. - - -Kurt Weill, Bertolt Brecht, "Threepenny Opera" Oh you are in my blood like holy wine You taste so bitter and so sweet Oh I could drink a case of you, darling And I would still be on my feet Oh I would still be on my feet. - - -Joni Mitchell, "A Case Of You" - Blue album Oh, no, it can't be teardrops 'Cause a man ain't supposed to cry. - - - Dee Clark Old black water, keep on rollin' Mississippi moon won't you keep on shinin' on me? - - - Patrick Simmons, "Black Water" One look at love and you may see it weaves a web over mystery, all ravelled threads can rend apart for hope has a place in the lover's heart. Hope has a place in a lover's heart. - - - Enya "Hope Has a Place" Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong, Under the shade of a coolibar tree, And he sang as he sat and waited for his billy-boil, You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me. - - - Andrew Barton "Banjo" Paterson, "Australia's National Song"

Para bailar la bamba Para bailar la bamba se necesita una poca de gracia Una poca de gracia para mi para ti y arriba y arriba, y arriba y arriba con ti sere con ti sere, con ti sere. Yo no soy marinero Yo no soy marinero, soy capitan, soy capitan. Bamba, bamba, bamba, bamba Bamba, bamba Bamba - - -Los Lobos "La Bamba" People talking without speaking, People hearing without listening, People writing songs that voices never share, and no one dare disturb the Sound of Silence. - - - Paul Simon, "Sounds of Silence" People, people who need people Are the luckiest people in the world. - - - Bob Merrill, "People Who Need People" Pink it was love at first sight Pink when I turn out the light, and Pink gets me high as a kite And I think everything is going to be all right No matter what we do tonight - - -Aerosmith, "Pink" Place a name upon the night One to set your heart alight And to make the darkness bright Paint the sky with stars. - - -Enya "Paint the Sky with Stars" Quick to judge, quick to anger Slow to understand Ignorance and prejudice And fear walk hand in hand - - -Rush "Witch Hunt" River gonna take me, Sing me sweet and sleepy, Sing me sweet and sleepy all the way back home, It's a far gone lullaby sung many years ago Mama, Mama, many worlds I've come since I first left home - - -Robert Hunter (Grateful Dead) "Brokedown Palace" Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily Life is but a dream. - - - Traditional Song She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy. I said, "Be careful, his bow tie is really a camera." - - - Simon & Garfunkel, "America"

She's got a way about her, And everywhere she goes, a million dreams of love surround her, everywhere. - - - Billy Joel "She's Got a Way" See the stone set in your eyes See the thorn twist in your side I wait for you Sleight of hand and twist of fate On a bed of nails she makes me wait And I wait . . . without you With or without you With or without you - - -U2, "With or Without You" She wore blue velvet Bluer than velvet was the night Softer than satin was the light From the stars She wore blue velvet Bluer than velvet were her eyes Warmer than May her tender sighs - - -Bernie Wayne and Lee Morris, "Blue Velvet" Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And auld lang syne? - - - Robert Burns, "Auld Lang Syne" Shower the people you love with love Show them the way that you feel Things are gonna work out fine if you only will. - - - James Taylor, "Shower the People" Sing us a song you're the piano man. Sing us a song tonight. Cause we're all in the mood for a melody, And you've got us feeling all right. - - - Billy Joel Sing with me, sing for the year Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears Sing with me, if it's just for today Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away - - - Aerosmith, "Dream On" So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do You see I've forgotten, if they're green or they're blue Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean Yours are the sweetest eyes, I've ever seen. - - - Elton John / Bernie Taupin Someday when we meet up yonder We'll stroll hand and hand again In a land that knows no parting Blue eyes crying in the rain. - - - Fred Rose, "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" sung by Willie Nelson Somewhere over the rainbow Bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow -

Why then, oh why can't I? - - - E. Y. Harburg, "Over the Rainbow" Stars shining bright above you Night breezes seem to whisper, "I love you" Birds singing in the sycamore tree Dream a little dream of me - - -Gus Kahn, "Dream A Little Dream of Me" Starry Starry night Paint your palette blue and gray Look out on a summer's day With eyes that know the darkness in my soul Shadows on the hills Sketch the trees and the daffodils Catch the breeze and the winter chills In colors on the snowy linen land. - - - Don McLean "Vincent" Summer breeze makes me feel fine Blowing through the jasmine in my mind. - - - Seals & Crofts, "Summer Breeze" Summers going fast Nights growing colder Children growing up Old friends growing older Freeze this moment a little bit longer Make each sensation a little bit stronger - - - Rush "Time Stand Still" Summertime And the livin' is easy, Fish are jumpin', and the cotton is high. - - - Ira Gershwin, "Porgy and Bess" DuBose Heyward wrote the lyrics th "Summertime" Thanks for the joy that you're givin' me I want you to know I believe in your song Rhythm and rhyme and harmony You help me along, makin' me strong, Give me the beat boys and free my soul I wanna get lost in your rock n' roll And drift away . . . - - - Dobie Gray "Drift Away" The hypocrites are slandering The sacred halls of Truth Ancient nobles showering Their bitterness on youth Can't we find The minds that made us strong Can't we learn To feel what's right and wrong - - - Rush "A Farewell To Kings" The love you take is equal to the love you make. - - - The Beatles, "The End" The moon upon the ocean is swept around in motion but without ever knowing

the reason for its flowing in motion on the ocean the moon still keeps on moving the waves still keep on waving and I still keep on going - - - Enya "Anywhere Is" There are many here among us who think life is but a joke but you and I, we've been through that; this is not our fate. Let us not speak falsely now, the hour's getting late. - - - Bob Dylan, "All Along the Watchtower" There are places I'll remember All my life though some have changed. Some forever not for better Some have gone and some remain. All these places have their moments With lovers and friends I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living, In my life I've loved them all. - - -Beatles "In My Life" There's beauty in the silver singing river There's beauty in the sunrise in the sky But none of these and nothing else can match the beauty That I remember in my true love's eyes - - -Bob Dylan, "Tomorrow is a Long Time" They say that these are not the best of times, But they're the only times I've ever known. And I believe there is a time for meditation in cathedrals of our own. - - - Billy Joel, "Summer, Highland Falls" Time it was and what a time it was it was... a time of innocence a time confidences long ago it must be I have a photograph preserve your memories its all that's left you. - - - Paul Simon / Art Garfunkel To dream the impossible dream, To reach the unreachable star! - - - Joe Darion Tonight you're mine completely You give your love so sweetly Tonight the light of love is in your eyes But will you love me tomorrow? - - -Gerry Goffin and Carole King, "Will You Love Me Tomorrow?" Unforgettable, that's what you are Unforgettable though near or far Like a song of love that clings to me How the thought of you does things to me Never before has someone been more

Unforgettable in every way And forever more, that's how you'll stay That's why, darling, it's incredible That someone so unforgettable Thinks that I am unforgettable too - - - Irving Gordon, "Unforgettable" What do you want me to do, To watch for you, To see you through? A box of rain will ease the pain, and love, will see you through. - - - Robert Hunter (Grateful Dead) "Box of Rain" What the world needs now is love, sweet love, It's the only thing that there's just too little of. - - - Burt Bacharach / Hal David When a lovely flame dies, Smoke gets in your eyes. - - - Otto Harbach When a man loves a woman Can't keep his mind on nothing else He'll trade the world For the good thing he's found - - -Percy Sledge, "When a Man Loves a Woman" When Israel was in Egypt land, Let my people go, Oppressed so hard they could not stand, Let my people go. Go down, Moses, Way-down in Egypt land, Tell old Pharaoh To let my people go. - - - Negro Spiritual When it seems like the night will last forever, And there's nothing left to do but count the years, When the strings of my harp to sever, And stones fall from my eyes instead of tears... I will walk alone by the black muddy river, And dream me a dream of my own, I will walk alone by the black muddy river, And sing me a song of my own. - - - Robert Hunter (Grateful Dead) "Black Muddy River" When my soul was in the lost-and-found You came along to claim it. - - - Carole King, "Tapestry" When there's a shadow, you follow the sun. When there is love, then you look for the one. And for the promises, there is the sky. And for the heavens are those who can fly. - - - Enya "Only If" When you're weary, feeling small When tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all I'm on your side when times get rough And friends just can't be found

Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down - - - Simon and Garfunkel. "Bridge Over Troubled Water" While we're living The dreams we have as children Fade away - - -Oasis, "Fade Away" Winter, spring, summer or fall All you have to do is call And I'll be there, You've got a friend. - - - James Taylor Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday. - - -The Beatles "Yesterday" You can choose a ready guide In some celestial voice. If you choose not to decide You still have made a choice. You can choose from phantom fears And kindness that can kill I will choose a path that's clear I will choose Freewill - - - Rush "Permanent Waves" You can speak your mind But not on my time. - - - Billy Joel, "My Life" You say you want, diamonds on a ring of gold You say you want, your story to remain untold All the promises we made From the cradle to the grave When all I want is you. - - - U2, "All I Want is You" Yesterday don't matter if it's gone. - - -Rolling Stones, "Ruby Tuesday" You know a dream is like a river Ever changing as it flows. And a dreamer's just a vessel That must follow where it goes. Trying to learn from what's behind you And never knowing what's in store Makes each day a constant battle Just to stay between the shores. - - - Garth Brooks, "The River" You may be right I may be crazy. But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. - - - Billy Joel, "You May Be Right" You must remember this, a kiss is still a kiss, A sigh is just a sigh; The fundamental things apply, As time goes by. - - - Herman Hupfeld, "As Time Goes By"

You're so vain. I bet you think this song is about you. - - - Carly Simon, "You're So Vain" You're the cutest thing that I ever did see I really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree - - -Steve Miller, "The Joker" You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face And show the world all the love in your heart Then people gonna treat you better You're gonna find, yes you will That you're beautiful as you feel. - - - Carole King, "Beautiful"

BRAIN CANDY MIND GAMES good questions these questions are perfect for

conversation starters discussion groups journal writing interviews classroom assignments writing prompts We'll post new questions every month or so. NO! We don't give answers to these. duuuuh! New questions posted : 1 August 2008

Group 1 1. What is the most valuable thing you own? 2. If you could trade places with a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and why? 3. What have you found to be the best way to relieve tension? 4. If you could choose only two movies to watch ever again, what would they be? 5. Name three things you wanted as a child but never got. 6. If someone told you had exactly 9 minutes to live, what would you do in those 9 minutes? 7. Describe your dream house. 8. Do you believe people are basically good? 9. What is the most expensive article of clothing you’ve ever purchased? 10. What are your worst habits? 11. Who is the person you know with the purest soul? 12. Describe the happiest day of your life. 13. Describe the saddest day of your life. 14. What is the oldest age you would like to be alive?

15. What was the best year of your life? 16. Who is the most successful person personally known to you? 17. Who is the most outrageous person personally known to you? 18. What is your biggest regret? 19. If you could choose only one music CD to ever listen to again, what would it be? 20. You can go back in time and prevent a great catastrophe. Which one would you prevent? 21. If you went to a beach and it turned out to be a nude beach, would you stay and go swimming? Would you swim nude? 22. If you were at a friend’s house for dinner and you found a dead cockroach in your salad, what would you do? 23. If you were elected to be leader of a foreign country tomorrow, what country would you want it to be and what would be your first official act? 24. If money were no object, how many children would you want to have? 25. You've just won a complete collection of movies starring one actor or actress - which actor or actress would you pick? Group 2 1. Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? 2. Knowing you had a 50 percent chance of winning and would be paid 10 times the amount of your bet if you won, what fraction of what you now own would you be willing to wager? 3. Where is the most beautiful place in the world? 4. Of all the people close to you, whose death would you find most disturbing? 5. On an airplane you are talking pleasantly to a person of average appearance. Unexpectedly, the person offers you $10,000 for one night of sex. Knowing there is no danger and that payment is certain, would you accept the offer? 6. One hot summer afternoon, while walking through a parking lot at a large shopping center, you notice a dog suffering badly from the heat inside a locked car. What would you do? 7. Someone very close to you is in pain, paralyzed, and will die within a month. He begs you to give him poison so he can die. Would you? 8. What’s the dumbest purchase you’ve ever made? 9. Name the most terrifying moment of your life so far. 10. Would you seek revenge against someone who had harmed your child? Would the type of crime have a bearing on your decision? 11. The major newspaper headlines for tomorrow will be about you. What would you want them to say?

12. Name three experiences involving a pet or an animal which you will never forget. 13. Through a computer error, you receive an overpayment on your paycheck. Do you report it? 14. What are your feelings about killing a handicapped child at birth? 15. What do you like best about your life? Least? 16. What do you think is the most important invention of the last 100 years? 17. What do you wear when you sleep? 18. What has been the biggest disappointment in your life? 19. What has been the worst sexual experience of your life? 20. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Is there anything you hope to do that is even better? 21. What is the most personally embarrassing thing you can imagine? 22. What is the most romantic present anyone has ever given you? 23. What is the most romantic song or music you’ve ever heard? 24. What is the most useful gift you’ve ever been given? 25. What is your most treasured memory?

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short jokes one-liners question and answer jokes jokes about men, stupid men jokes

How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals." How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? Two. If you slice them very thinly. What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window. What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A power failure. What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it. How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell. Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions. What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion. What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch! What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes. What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game. What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer. What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex.

What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? Telling you his real name. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes. What's the best way to kill a man? Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted a several times. What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..." What's the quickest way to a man's heart? Straight through the rib cage. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they're all pigs. Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice. Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece. Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones. Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts. Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing. Why do little boys whine? Because they are practicing to be men. Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract. Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends.

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Humor about language The English Lesson

No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn. I sometimes wonder how we manage to communicate at all! We must polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

The soldier decided to desert in the desert. This was a good time to present the present. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. I did not object to the object. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. The bandage was wound around the wound. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They were too close to the door to close it. The buck does funny things when the does are present. They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. After a number of injections my jaw got number. Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? She could not live with a live mouse in the house. It was just a minute prick and over in a minute. His mistake was putting his left foot forward while putting. We would probably read more Shakespeare if we understood what we read. There was a bow tied in the ropes on the bow of the ship. You should spring that on us next spring!

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Humor about the funny things in life If You Love Someone . . .

If You Love Someone Shakespeare: if you love someone, Set her free .... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, here's the poison, suicide yourself for her. Optimist: If you love someone, Set her free .... Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious: If you love someone, Set her free .... If she ever comes back, ask her why. Impatient: If you love someone, Set her free .... If she doesn't comes back within some time forget her. Patient: IF you love someone, Set her free .... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back. Playful: If you love someone, Set her free .... *If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat* C++ Programmer: if(you-love(m_she)) m_she.free() if(m_she == NULL) m_she= new CShe; Lawyers: If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that.... Bill Gates: If you love someone,Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade. Biologist: If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve. Statisticians: If you love someone, Set her free, If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, the Weibull distribution and your relation was improbable anyway. Salesman: If you love someone, Set her free ....

If she ever comes back, deal! If she doesn't, so what! "NEXT". Schwarzenegger's fans: If you love someone, Set her free, SHE'LL BE BACK! Insurance agent: If you love someone, Show her the plan .... If she ever comes back, sign her up, If she doesn't, keep follow up with her and never give up! Physician: If you love someone, Set her free .... If she ever comes back, it's the law of gravity, If she doesn't, either there's friction higher than the force or the angle of collision between two objects did not synchronize at the right angle. Mathematician: If you love someone, Set her free .... If she ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!), If she doesn't, Y = 2X - log(0.46Y^2 + (cos(52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where c is the infinite constant of no turning point. Nowadays' style: If You Love Someone, Set it free, If It Comes Back, It is Yours If It Doesn't, Hunt it Down and Kill It...!!! OR PERHAPS REPORT TO IMMIGRATION THAT SHE/HE IS AN ILLEGAL If you love someone WHY IN THE FIRST PLACE SET HER FREE??? CARELESS IDIOT!!!

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mom - isms --- things your mom always said and how many times a day do you find yourself using one of these expressions?

A little "birdy" told me! All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid. Am I talking to a brick wall? Are you deaf or something? Are you lying to me?

As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say. Beds are NOT made for jumping on. Call me when you get there, just so I know you're okay. Close the door! You don't live in a barn. Did you brush your teeth? Did you comb your hair? Do as I say, not as I do. Do you think I'm made of money? Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up? Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back. Don't eat that, you'll get worms! Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold. Don't make me get up! Don't pick that scab, it'll get infected. Don't pick your nose in public. Don't run in the house. Don't sit too close to the television, it'll ruin your eyes. Don't talk with your mouth full! Don't walk away when I'm talking to you! Eat your vegetables, they're good for you. Enough is enough! Go play outside! It's a beautiful day! Going to a party? Leave a phone number in case I need to call. Going to a party? Who's going to be there? Going to a party? Will the parents be home? How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tasted it? I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out! I can't believe you can sleep in this filth! I didn't ask who put it there, I said "Pick it up!" I don't care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing!

I don't have to explain myself. I said no. I hope someday you have children just like you. I just want what's best for you. I will always love you - no matter what. If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (eyebrows, tongue, etc.) He would have put them there! If it were a snake, it would have bitten you. If wishes were horses... If you could stay out last night, you can get up this morning. If you don't do it NOW, then when are you going to do it? If you stick your tongue out again it will fall off. If you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play outside. I'm doing this for your own good. I'm going to skin you alive! I'm not going to ask you again. I'm not your cleaning lady! I'm not your waitress! Isn't it past your bedtime? It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust everyone else. Life isn't fair. Look at me when I'm talking to you. Money does NOT grow on trees. No child of MINE would do something like that. Nobody asked you. Over my dead body! Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck! Pick up your feet. Put that down! You don't know where it's been! Say that again and I'll wash your mouth out with soap. Shut the door! I'm not heating (air conditioning) the entire neighborhood! Shut your mouth and eat. So it's raining? You're not sugar -- you won't melt.

So what if Bob's mom let him do it? If Bob's mom let him jump off the Empire State Building, would you want me to let you do it too? Someone is going to end up crying. There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes! This hurts me more than it hurts you. Turn that racket (music) down! Watch your mouth! Well, I haven't figured out how to cook "cold" yet. Well, people in Hell want ice water too! What did I say the FIRST time? What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too? What part of NO don't you understand? When I was a little girl... When I was young we had respect for our elders, now look at the world! When I was your age, I had to walk ten miles through the snow, uphill, by myself, to go to school. When will you be back? When you have your own house then you can make the rules! Where do YOU think you're going? Who died and left you boss? Who do you think you're talking to? Who taught you THAT? You didn't learn that in this house! Wipe your feet! You can't find it? Well, I can't find it for you - I didn't wear it! You can't find it? Well, I can't find it for you - I'm not the maid! You can't find it? Well, if you'd put things where they belonged, you wouldn't have this problem. You can't find it? Well, where did you leave it last? You can't start the day on an empty stomach. You don't always get what you want. It's a hard lesson, but you might as well learn it now. You have an answer for everything, don't you? You kids are trying to drive me crazy! You must think rules are made to be broken. You won't be happy until you break that, will you? You'll understand when you're older.

A little soap & water never killed anybody. Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident. Answer me when I ask you a question! Are you going out dressed like that? Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself! I'm not your maid! Be good. Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age. Clean up after yourself! Cupcakes are NOT a breakfast food! Did you clean your room? Did you flush? Do you live to annoy me? Do you think this is a hotel? You can't just come here only to sleep. Don't ask me WHY. The answer is NO. Don't cross your eyes or they'll freeze that way. Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again! Don't make me come in there! Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been. Don't run with a lollipop in your mouth. Don't stay up too late! Don't use that tone with me! Don't you have anything better to do? Go ask your father. Go to your room and think about what you did! How can you have nothing to wear? Your closet is FULL of clothes! How many times do I have to tell you? I can always tell when you're lying. I can't believe you did that! I don't buy snacks to feed the neighborhood! I don't care who started it, I said stop! I don't care who started it, YOU stop it! I don't know is NOT an answer. I hope you don't kiss me with that mouth! I said CLOSE the door, I did not say SLAM it. I would have never talked to MY mother like that! If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll... If I want your opinion I'll ask for it! If I've told you once ... I've told you a thousand times. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. If you don't clean your plate, you won't get any dessert. If you don't stop crying, I am going to give you something to cry about! If you're too full to finish your dinner, you're too full for dessert.

I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one. I'm going to give you until the count of three... I'm not always going to be around to do these things for you. I'm not running a taxi service. I'm not your maid! Is your homework finished? It's no use crying over spilt milk. I've had it up to here with you. Leave your sister (brother) alone! Little pitchers have big ears. Look at this room! It looks like a pigsty! Never try on anyone else's glasses or you'll go blind. No, I don't know where your socks are, its not my day to watch them! Now, come back downstairs and go back up WITHOUT stomping your feet! Now, say you're sorry...and MEAN it! Running away? Don't let the door hit you in the rear. Running away? I'll help you pack. Running away? Is that a threat or a promise? Some day you will thank me for this. SMACK!!! Someday your face will freeze like that The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Think of those poor starving children in India... (or China, or Africa.) Turn off that light. Do you think we own the electric company? Watch your language! Well, people in Hades want ice water, but do you see me with a PITCHER? Were you born in a barn? Close the door -- and DON'T slam it! What do you think, money grows on trees? What kind of a grade is that? You could do much better! When did your last slave die? When I was your age... When you have kids of your own you'll understand. Where are you going? Who are you going with? Do I know them? Who do you think you are? Who said life was going to be easy? Why? Because I SAID so, that's why! You are getting on my last nerve. You can go out to play...after you brush your teeth and comb your hair. You can go out to play...after you pick up your room. You can go out to play...after you've done your homework. You can't judge a book by its cover.

You could grow potatoes in those ears! You could have called. You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you. You just ate an hour ago! You made your bed, now lie in it. You should have that phone surgically implanted in your ear. You WILL eat it, and you WILL like it! You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders! You will ALWAYS be my baby. You're going to put your eye out with that thing! Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home! You're the oldest. You should know better.

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short jokes one-liners question and answer jokes jokes about lawyers, lawyer jokes

DEER TRACKS Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely. The first lawyer announced, "Those are deer tracks. It's deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey." The second lawyer responded,"Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. If we follow your advice, we'll waste the day." Each attorney believed himself to be the superior woodsman, and they both bitterly stuck to their guns. They were still arguing when the train hit them. Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? It's called, Sosumi. Did you hear about the terrorists who took a whole courtroom full of lawyers hostage? They threatened to release one every hour until their demands where met. Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. How are an apple and a lawyer alike? They both look good hanging from a tree. How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer? She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving. How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are true stories. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb . . . How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper? What are lawyers good for? They make used car salesmen look good. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue. What did the terrorist that hijacked a jumbo-jet full of lawyers do? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met. What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? They're both extinct. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? It takes 300,000 of them to make one human being. What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement? Not enough cement. What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet. What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. What do you do if you run over a lawyer? Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch on the steering wheel. What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute? Who cares? What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? He gets taller. What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do. What should you do if you find a lawyer buried up to his neck in cement? Get more cement. What type of apparel is the most popular with lawyers? Law-suits. What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog. What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dirt? The bucket. What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer? A doberman.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation. What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? You cry when you cut up an onion. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Removable wingtips. What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer? One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect. What's the difference between God and a lawyer? God doesn't think he's a lawyer. Where can you find a good lawyer? The nearest cemetery. Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? To practice. Why does California have the most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites? New Jersey got first choice. Why don't lawyers go to the beach? Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand. Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? Shoot the lawyer. Twice. What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell? Another lawyer. What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners. What does a lawyer use for birth-control? His personality. What happened to the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon? He was disbarred. What does a laywer get when you give him Viagra? Taller What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honor.

BRAIN CANDY INSULTS COLLECTION not playing with a full deck fulldeck-isms : witty put-down

Not playing with a full deck? Hell, he's not even in the game! A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth. A brain like a BB in a boxcar. A couple of bricks short of a hod. A couple of dilithium crystals short of a warp core.

A couple of knights short of a Crusade. A couple of togas short of an orgy. A couple of volts below threshold. A couplet short of a sonnet. A day late and a dollar short. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few birds shy of a flock. A few bits short of a byte. A few bits shy of a word. A few bricks shy of a load. A few cans short of a six pack, six short. A few clowns short of a circus. A few clues shy of a solution. A few ears short of a bushel. A few eggs short of a dozen. A few feet short of the runway. A few fish short of a string. A few guppies short of an aquarium. A few inches short of a foot / yard. A few kernels short of an ear. A few lanes short of a highway. A few lines short of a program. A few links shy of a chain. A few open splices. A few peas short of a pod / casserole. A few pickles short of a jar. A few pixels short of an image. A few puppies short of a pet shop. A few rungs short of a ladder. A few sandwiches / apples / ants short of a picnic. A few screams short of an orgasm. A few screws loose. A few snowballs short of an avalanche. A few spoons short of a full set. A few straws shy of a bale. A few tacos short of a fiesta platter. A few tiles missing from his Space Shuttle. A few tomatoes short of a thick sauce. A few yards short of the hole. A flower short of an arrangement. A goose short of a gaggle. A hamburger / a few French fries short of a Happy Meal.

A handle short of a suitcase. A hump short of a camel. A lap behind the field. A little light in his loafers. A looney tune. A mind like wet tennis shoes: Makes squishy noises when running. A pane short of a window. A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on. A pickle short of a barrel. A quart low. A room temperature IQ. A screw loose. A strawberry short of a quart. A teabag short of a pot. A victim of retroactive birth control. A violin minus the bow. A walking argument for birth control. A wind-up clock without a key. About a half a bubble off plumb. About as sharp as a sack of wet leather / a bowling ball / a bowl of Jell-O. About as smart as bait. About fifteen cents short. About three cents short of a dollar. Ain't wrapped too tight. Air between the ears. All booster - no payload. All booster and no shuttle. All crown - no filling. All foam. no beer. All hammer, no nail. All his eggs in the same basket. All his marbles in one bag. All lime and salt, no tequila. All missile, no warhead. All plow and no tractor. All the lights don't shine in his marquee. All the sex appeal of a wet paper bag. All wax and no wick. Almost as smart as a finch. Always in the right place, but at the wrong time. Always sharpening his sleeping skills. An early example of the Peter Principle.

An ego like a black hole. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. An inch short and a stroke early. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. Answers the door when the phone rings. Antenna doesn't pick up all the channels. Any slower and he'd be in reverse. -- Gignac As bright as a nightlight / small appliance bulb / tulip bulb. As thick as two short planks. Attention span of an overripe grapefruit. Attic's a little dusty. Back burners not fully operating. Bats have flown the belfry, and now he's all alone. Bats in the belfry. Batteries not included. Been playing in the pharmacy section again. Been playing with his wand too much. Been short on oxygen one time too many. Blender doesn't go past "mix". Blocked one too many hockey pucks / soccer balls / punches. Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel. Born a day late and like that ever since. Born during low tide in the gene pool. Both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat! Brain on cruise control. Brain speed inversely proportional to mouth speed. Braindead. Brains of a house plant. Bright as a Zippo lighter without a flint. Bright as Alaska in December. Broadcasts static. Caboose seems to be pulling the engine. Cackles a lot, but I ain't seen no eggs yet. Calling him a pea brain would be an undeserved compliment. Can be outwitted by a jar of Marshmallow Fluff. Can carry on conversations with bushes. Can easily be confused with facts. Can't find his ass with two hands and a periscope. Car's only got three wheels, and one's going flat. Cauliflower / Cheezwiz for brains. Cheats when filling out opinion polls. Chimney's clogged.

Clutch is slipping. Could get lost in a broom closet. Couldn't find his way through a maze even if the rats helped him. Couldn't hit sand if he fell off a camel. Couldn't pick the winner of a one-horse race. Couldn't spell "cat" if you spotted him on the "C" and the "A". Couldn't write dialog for a porno flick. Crazy as all get out / a loon. Cursor's flashing but there's no response. Deaf, dumb, and blonde. Deck has no face cards. Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Dialing thumb must be broken. Dock doesn't quite reach the water. Does aerobics... in his head. Doesn’t have all nine players on the diamond. Doesn't have all his dogs barking. Doesn't have all of his groceries in the same bag. Doesn't have all the dots on his dice. Doesn't have both chop sticks in the chop suey. Doesn't have both oars in the water. Doesn't have both oars in the water -- can't even find the damn boat. Doesn't have elastic in both of his socks. Doesn't have his belt through all the loops. Doesn't have the sense God gave an animal cracker. Doesn't just know nothing; doesn't even suspect much. Doesn't know if he's afoot or on horseback. Doesn't know which side of the toast the butter is on. Downhill skiing in Iowa. Dr. Kevorkian got her from the neck up. Driving with two wheels in the sand. Dumb as asphalt / dirt / a stump / a box of rocks / a sack of hammers. Dumber than a chicken / box of hair / a red brick / rocks. Dumber than owl droppings. During evolution his ancestors were in the control group. Easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing. Eating with only one chopstick. Echoes between the ears. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Elevator doesn't make it to the penthouse. Elevator doesn't stop at every floor. Elevator goes all the way to the top but the door doesn't open.

Elevator is stuck between floors. Encyclopedia’s missing some volumes. Engine is running, but no one is behind the wheel. Enough sawdust between the ears to bed an elephant. Evidence for the theory of a missing link. Flying / landing on one engine. Forgot to pay his brain bill. Found his marbles, but is playing jacks with them. Four cents short of a nickel. Full throttle, dry tank. Gasoline engine, diesel fuel. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. Gavel doesn't quite hit the bench. Gets her mail at an unknown zip code. Gets his orders from another planet. Gives a lot of bull for somebody what ain't got no cattle. Goalie for the dart team. God might still use him for miracle practice. God's favorite target for lightning strikes. Got a dozen eggs but some are cracked. Got a life, but wasn't sure what to do with it. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. Half a brick short of a full load. Half a bubble off plumb. --Attributed to Mark Twain Half a quart low. Hard to distinguish from the tail end of a horse. Has a leak in his ceiling. Has a pulse, but that's about all. Has all her bricks, but no cement holding them together. Has all the brains God gave a duck's ass. Has six beers, but lacks the little plastic thing to hold them together. Has the brains of a dog’s ass. Has the intellectual capacity of an Allen wrench. Has the memory of a goldfish. Has two brains. One is lost and the other is out looking for it. Hasn't enough sense to pound salt into a rat hole. Hasn't got all his china in the cupboard. Hasn't got enough sense to come in out of the rain. Hasn't got the brains God gave a cat. Having a party in his head, but no one else is invited. Head whistles in a cross wind. Hears everything that a dog can.

He's got his motor running but the gearshift is still in park. His drill doesn't have a full set of bits. His jogging trail doesn’t go all the way around the lake. If brains were bird droppings, he'd have a clean cage. If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his hat off / his nose! If brains were popularity, she’d be the IRS. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate. If he had another brain cell, it'd be lonely. If he had brains, he'd take them out and play with them. If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered twice a week. If he were any smarter, you could teach him to fetch. If his IQ were 2 points higher he would be a rock. If she were any dumber, she'd be a green plant. If stupidity were a crime, he'd be #1 on the Most Wanted list. If stupidity were beauty, her face could launch a million ships. If the government ever declared war on stupidity, he'd get nuked. If there were a merciful God he'd be dead by now. If they made hats the size of his brain he would be wearing a peanut shell. Immune to caffeine and all other stimulants. Impervious to brain damage. In the shopping mall of the mind, he's in the toy department. Infinite space between her ears. Informationally deprived. Inspired the slogan, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste." Intellectually challenged. IQ lower than a snake's belly in a wagon-rut. IQ of a salad bar / an ice cube / three below houseplant. It would be easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing! Knitting with only one needle. Knows Atlanta like the back of her hand, but she’s in Chicago. Lamborghini chassis, moped engine. Left the store without all of his groceries. Library is well stocked - with Dr. Zeuss books. Life by Norman Rockwell, screenplay by Stephen King. Light not burning too bright. Lightbulb over his head is burned out. Lights are on but nobody's home. Like a one-armed man climbing a rope. Little red choo-choo done jumped the track. Lives in the same world, but a different universe. Living proof of evolution. Living proof that nature does not abhor a vacuum.

Long on dry wall, short on studs. Looking for a nickel in the corner of a circular room. Loony as a jay bird. Lost his trolleys. Low on thinking gas. Marching to a different kettle of fish. Mental agility of a soap dish. Mentally qualified for handicapped parking. Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence. Mind is on vacation but his mouth is working overtime. Mind like a sieve. Mind like a steel trap - anything entering gets crushed and mangled. Mind like a steel trap -- full of mice. Mind like a steel trap -- rusty and stuck closed. Mind like a steel trap -- things wander in and get mangled. Mind wandered and never came back. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Missing a few catalog cards / gears / marbles. Missing a layer of insulation in his attic. Missing all of the face cards. Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral. Moves his lips to pretend he's reading. Music by Mozart, choreography by Beavis & Butthead. Needs another brain to make half-wit. Needs both hands to wipe his behind. Nice house, but nobody home / not much furniture. No coins in the old fountain. No filter in the coffee maker. No grain in the silo. No hands on the rudder / yoke. No hay in the loft. No one at the throttle. No wind in her mind's windmills. Not digging in the same ditch with the rest of us! Not done evolving yet. Not enough brain cells for the Prozac to be effective. Not enough brains to get anywhere near the gutter. Not enough sense to come in out of the rain. Not firing on all four / six / eight cylinders. Not firing on all thrusters. Not much to show for four billion years of evolution. Not only a few brick short, but is missing someone else's bricks as well.

Not only rude, but ugly too. Not quite human any longer. Not running on full thrusters. Not the brightest light on the Christmas tree. Not the fastest car in the lot. Not the quickest bunny in the forest. Not the same since they took him off his medication. Not the sharpest crayon in the box. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Not too tightly wrapped. Not worth pissin' on. Nothing between the stethoscopes. Nutty as a fruitcake. Off his rocker. Oil doesn't reach his dipstick On permanent leave of absence from his senses. On the batting end of a no-hitter. One banana short of a fruit-salad. One board short of a porch. One boot stuck in the sand. One brick shy of a load. One drop short of an empty bladder. One fang short of a vampire. One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl. One fruit short of a basket. One horseman short of an apocalypse. One hot pepper short of an enchilada. One live brain cell away from being a talking monkey. One sentence short of a paragraph. One shingle shy a roof. One shingle shy of a roof, and the water's getting in. One ship short of a full fleet. One snowflake short of a ski slope. One song short of a musical. One step short of the attic. One tree short of a hammock. Only got one oar in the water. Only hitting on 7 cylinders. Only operating at about half a watt. Only playing with 51 cards. Only playing with the jokers. Ought to have a warning label on his forehead.

Out in left field with a catcher's mitt on. Outlet isn't grounded. Over the rainbow. Overdue for reincarnation. Paddling with one oar. Paged-out. Paralyzed from the neck up. Parked his head and forgot where he left it. Pedaling real fast, but not getting anywhere. People around her are at risk of second hand idiocy. Perfect face for Halloween. Permanently out to lunch. Permanently rotated 90 degrees from the rest of us. Personality of a snail on Valium. Playing baseball with a rubber bat. Playing hockey with a warped puck. Plays solitaire... for cash. Porch light is on, but there's nobody home. Proof God has a sense of humor. Puzzle is missing a few pieces. Quick as a corpse. Reading off an empty disk. Receiver is off the hook. Renewable energy source for hot air balloons. Reset line is glitching. Result of a first cousin marriage. Riding a tippy canoe. Room for rent, unfurnished. Room temperature IQ. Room temperature IQ - in Centigrade. Running on empty. Runs squares around the competition. Rusty springs in the mousetrap. Sailboat fuel for brains. Several nuts over fruitcake minimum. Several nuts short of a full pouch. Sharp as a marble / bowling ball / beachball. She can piss standing up, but not much else. She only packed half a sandwich. Short a few cards. Should be the poster child for family planning. Should have kept his helmet on while riding / playing.

Signs on both ears saying 'Space for Rent.' Sitting in the right pew, but the wrong church. Six bricks short of a full load. Six shy of a dozen. Skating on the wrong side of the ice. Skylight leaks a little. Slept too close to his radium-dial watch. Slinky's kinked. Sloppy as a soup sandwich. Slow as molasses in January. Slow out of the gate. Smart as a politician / lawyer is honest. Smart as bait. Smarter than the average bear. Smoke doesn't make it to the top of his chimney. So boring, his dreams have Muzak. So dim, his psychic carries a flashlight. So dumb, blondes tell jokes about him. So dumb, he faxes face up. So dumb, his dog teaches him tricks. So far gone, hard drugs push him closer to normal. So fat, people climb over him rather than go around. So slow, he has to speed up to stop. So slow, we drive stakes in the ground to measure his progress. So stupid, mind readers charge her half price. Soft as baby shit. Soft as silly putty. Solid concrete from the eyebrows backwards. Some Assembly Required. Some bugs in his software. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled. Some M&M's missing from her bowl. Some pages missing. Somebody lend her a quarter to buy a clue. Someone blew out his pilot light. Strong like bull, smart like streetcar. Stumped by anything childproof. Subtle as a well-thrown brick. Suffers from Clue Deficit Disorder. Swapped out. Switch is on, but no one's receiving. Takes her 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes".

Talks to plants on their own level. The carnival has closed. The cheese has slid off his cracker. The computer's on but there's no prompt. The crowd’s cheering but there’s no team on the field. The going got weird, and he turned pro. The space between his ears powers vacuum pumps. The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead. There's a leak in his ceiling. Thick as a brick. Three chickens short of a hen house Three wheels short of a Honda. Too many birds on her antenna. Too many jokers and not enough aces in his deck. Too much yardage between the goal posts. Took the little bus to school. Toys in the attic. Traveling without a passport. Trying out for the javelin retrieval team. Two bits shy of a word. Two catchers and three basemen short of a World Series. Two clowns short of a circus. Two saucers short of a tea-service. Two sheep short of a sweater. Two socks short of a pair. Types 120 words a minute but her keyboard isn't plugged in. Ugly as a warthog and half as smart. Understands English as well as any parrot. Useful as a balsa wood anchor. Useful as a chocolate frying pan. Useful as a concrete canoe. Useful as a glass machete. Useful as a kick stand on a horse. Useful as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. Useful as tits on a bull / boar-hog. Useful as tits on a tomcat. Uses his head to keep the rain out of his neck. Uses thumbtacks to post notes -- on his refrigerator. Uses two hands to eat with chopsticks. Vacancy on the top floor. Was hiding behind the door when they passed out brains.

Was napping in the nut pile the day that God was cracking nuts. Welcome light on, but no one home. Working with an unformatted disk.

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