Penetrating Insights By Adult Film Star “Peter North” A Guide to Meeting and Dating Beautiful Women
Disclaimer The advice and techniques set forth in this book are based on the author’s own experiences and are only the author’s opinions. The studies and surveys are the author’s, and can vary from area to area. The efforts used to prepare this book were to the best of the author’s abilities, and there are no representations or warranties either implied or otherwise for any particular purpose, with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book. The author shall in no event be liable for personal, commercial, or any other losses of profit, or any other losses of any kind, including but not limited to special incidental, consequential, or other damages. All names, brand names, product names, trademarks, or vendors mentioned in this book belong to their respective holders or owners, and are in no way affiliated with the author. Copyright Copyright © 1994 by DP-1-9-5-8. All rights reserved. No part of this book, including the cover design, either in full or in part, may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, transferring, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without written permission of the author. Cover photo: Nick Burger, Santa Ana, CA.
Table of Contents Preface............................................................................................. 1 Introduction ..................................................................................... 5 1. Why You’re Not Getting Results ................................................ 7 2. Confidence ................................................................................ 26 3. Keeping in Shape or Not Keeping in Shape ............................ 45 4. Sense of Humor......................................................................... 63 5. Grooming Tips: Dress to Get Results ....................................... 70 6. Peter North’s Tips ..................................................................... 86 7. Places to Meet Women ............................................................. 95 8. Techniques .............................................................................. 103 9. Health Tips .............................................................................. 112 10. Love Making Tips ................................................................. 115 11. Peter North’s Advice............................................................. 123
PREFACE No matter who you are or what you look like, there’s a woman out there for you! You could be a fat, ugly loser and there still will be many women out there for you. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Peter North. For those of you that don’t know who I am, I can be seen in your local video store. You’ll find some of the adult videos I’ve made over the past several years. My job as an actor has included sex with hundreds of beautiful women in many different countries. But without my acquired ability to meet women, my reputation as an experienced lover would never have gotten off the ground. For many years my fans have written to me wanting to know about the many differences and similarities of the incredible lovers I’ve had, and how it feels to be intimate with these extraordinary women. That is why I wrote this book. You might ask why I’m qualified to be an expert on this subject. My friend, there are many ways to begin to understand women. Four come to mind immediately. First, you could be a woman. Not 1
an easy task or, in my case, an option! Lop off yer’ own parts, but not mine! Second, be born with great looks, tons of cash, a marvelous personality and the perfect aphrodisiac. Not happening here, I’m afraid. Third, laboratory testing, years of in-the-field research. To my knowledge, this has never been documented. And finally, as is my situation, unusual circumstances. I had as much experience with women as most pinhead teenagers just out of school. I was destined to be a bonehead just like some people you might know. Early in my developing manhood, my prime motivation for everything and anything was to eventually lead me into some beautiful dame’s panties. This is the same motivation many of you may have at this very moment. The key difference is my unusual circumstances When I started in the adult movie business, little did I know that my immature pinhead mentality would be replaced by a wealth of knowledge that could never be gained in such a short time outside of a scientific clinic! My roles called for me to have sex with beautiful women without the preliminaries! No more “perfect pick-
up lines” or “moves” or “chatting up” as the British call it. I was sliding into home plate without having to ‘round the bases!’ Between scenes, while the crew would be changing sets and lights, I would get to know the women that I just acted with! After having sex! And after you’ve had sex with some women, you can get them to tell you anything, sometimes everything. And sometimes you just wish they’d shut up! My expert teachers were women I already had sex with. There is an understanding between friendly sexual partners—a relationship in the simplest terms. You learn to laugh and joke, you share experiences, talk about what they like, who they like and why, what makes them happy, mad or sad. This was an honest education. We weren’t playing any head games or battling wits. After all, getting into their trousers, my original motivation was gone! This is where I met the true honest experts in the field. Then we would do another scene… In the following pages, I hope to provide some insight to my readers and to share the techniques and experiences that have made me what I am today. My philosophy of life is: We are all on this planet for a very short time, so try to have the best possible attitude that you can and 3
enjoy life. Don’t take things too seriously and have a good time. Learn from your mistakes and maintain a good sense of humor. Remember, there are plenty of beautiful women to go around for everybody. So, just relax and kick back and let nature take its course.
INTRODUCTION The purpose of writing this book is to help you, the reader, meet more women and to get you on track to getting results! After all, isn’t having sex the best thing life has to offer? While writing this book, I’ve tried to keep the reading easy to understand, with as little complication as possible. I know there are other books out there regarding this subject, but I think my methods are easier to understand and more practical. I try to base almost everything in this book on my own personal experiences, and what I have seen work for others around me. In this book, I will cover various techniques including meeting places, opening lines, body language, the right cologne to wear, and much, much more. I don’t claim to be a Casanova or Don Juan, but I have—in my own way—studied the way women behave. I have concluded my own theories and opinions on various subjects concerning women.
You should utilize your own personality while learning my techniques. Don’t try to act like someone you’re not. Try to keep in mind that only by the combination of your personality and my techniques will this system work. I love women, I respect women, and I love to make love to women. But to understand women, you must be patient. There are far too many men out there that are afraid to even confront beautiful women, much less get results. They feel intimidated. But, I know that, with a few positive suggestions and some intestinal fortitude, these people can change and get more out of their social life. Also, later in this book, I am going to share some of my own sexual techniques that can enhance your sex life with beautiful women.
1. WHY YOU’RE NOT GETTING RESULTS Interesting question: Why aren’t you getting results? It’s just like anything in life that’s worthwhile. It takes some effort. My good friend, Ron Jeremy, used to tell me, “you have to get out there and make things happen!” Always try to remember this: “You are in control of your own destiny—nobody but you.” You’ve heard this phrase before from a school teacher or maybe your parents. Every human being on this planet has a will of their own, a will to choose how he or she plans to live their life. If you want the finer things in life—if you want to be successful—you must have a strong will and then push yourself in a “positive” forward direction. If you want to put yourself in a better position socially or financially, or if you simply want to get into some babe’s panties, you’ll have to initiate a plan—a strategy—and put forth some effort. Sitting around and waiting for women to come to you is not 7
how it works—unless, of course, you are Arnold Schwarzenegger. But, if you were Arnold Schwarzenegger, you wouldn’t need this book, now would you? Let’s discuss some of the reasons that hold you, and millions of other capable and fine gentlemen, back from getting big results. Fear of rejection is probably one of the biggest reasons why men and women don’t get results. The dictionary defines rejection as: to deny acceptance, care, love, etc. to someone; to refuse to agree to, use, believe, etc. Rejection is very devastating to some people, causing them to crawl into their shell and hibernate, becoming camouflaged or “wallflowers,” so nobody even knows they exist. Time after time, I observe people in nightclubs sitting or standing around, waiting for something to happen. They are so afraid of being rejected that they don’t even try. Ask yourself this, would you go on a date with yourself? If the answer is no, then you probably don’t like yourself. Somewhere in your past, you must have had an experience with rejection. Why is it that you feel uneasy around women? Technically, the reason is that the rejection you experienced earlier in life caused you to feel inferior. It just stands to reason that, if you feel inferior and don’t have any self confidence, you probably don’t believe in yourself. 8
The dictionary definition of an inferiority complex is as follows: a neurotic condition resulting from various feelings of inferiority, such as derive from real or imagined physical or social inadequacy and often manifested through overcompensation in excessive aggressiveness, a domineering attitude, etc. Someone or something in your past has probably led you to believe that you can’t be a success, or can’t accomplish great things, or that you have to be just like “they” are, and nothing more. Let me tell you this right now: This is complete and total ignorance! You possess the power within yourself to overcome these negative feelings. Do you defeat yourself before you’ve given yourself a chance? Do you take it for granted that every woman thinks you’re funny looking, or that you talk strange, or act weird? Even if these things are all true, don’t worry; there is hope. You may think that your outward physical appearance is the most important thing in getting women to like you. It plays a part, but it’s not the most important thing. The most important thing is what’s on the inside of a person. This is the area that needs to be worked on the most. Let me give you a few examples of some well known people that, in the public eye, may not be considered great looking. Though I 9
won’t mention her name, I can think of one successful comedienne /actress who is far from a beauty queen. She has not, however, allowed her looks to affect her negatively in any way. She has made millions of dollars and has accomplished many amazing things, and she is still continuing to succeed. If she continually dwelled on how unattractive she is, she wouldn’t have become famous, much less a movie star. Another example is a very successful musician who is a perfect example of someone who has overcome the odds. Not only is he short and partially bald, he also suffered from a tragic childhood. Yet I can look at his accomplishments: the several successful albums he’s had, his beautiful young wife, and the millions of dollars he has made. And…he loves what he does for a living. A favorite example of mine is a friend named Dennis. Dennis is ugly. One night, spurred with a few shots of liquid courage (alcohol), he approached a beautiful lady and boldly asked her if she would like to spend the evening with the “ugliest guy in the world!” He got lucky that night—or she got lucky, depending on how you look at the situation. Although, the same line never worked exactly the same way, Dennis realized his own style and humor. He also began dressing better and no longer feels he must drink to bolster his courage.
A celebrity, or any successful person, is no different from you and me. They were all born with a brain, a will, two eyes, and a mouth. They all put their shoes on one foot at a time. The only difference is that they have made a conscious decision to succeed…and they have done so! I’m not saying that you have to compete with movie stars. My point is that you must push rejection aside and not listen when people tell you that you’ll never succeed, or that you can’t do something, or that something has never been done before. People who say these things are the type of people who are going nowhere with their lives. If you look back at history, you’ll find that Thomas Edison was rejected many times for his “stupid” theories and ideas. He worked on close to five thousand experiments that failed before he finally discovered a way to harness electricity. If it wasn’t for his strong will and determination, electricity may never have become such a part of everyday life. If he had listened to his critics, he might have given up after the first couple of hundred experiments. Don’t listen to the negative people who tell you what you can and can’t do. You can do it, and you can do it even better than you think you can!
Yes, gentlemen, I, The “great” Peter North, have been rejected, too. But if you have hit on as many women as I have, I’m sure you would have been rejected as well. Rejection happens to everyone, no matter who you are. Let’s face it, boys, different women have different tastes. Some women like the clean-cut type, some like the macho type. Some like them thin, some like them stocky, etc. But if you play the odds, you increase your chances a thousand fold of getting results. So just remember not to let rejection get in the way of your fun. Ugly Dennis says he practices “Success by Rejection!” He says that he doesn’t give up asking different babes to go out with him until he has gotten ten “No’s” in one day! Most guys sweat and give up after one! Dennis also says he has rarely made it to number ten before he succeeds. So stop making excuses. If you want to have more beautiful women than you can handle, you’ve got to stop the excuses.
Excuses are empty reasons. Empty reasons are lies. Like most lies, and liars, for that matter, when there is enough repetition, you might start believing them. Excuses are for the losers in this world. Losers are the kind of people who might say things like, “If I only had more hair on my head,” or “If I were only two inches taller, or “If only I were built 12
like Mr. Universe.” This is all mental sewage, fellows. It doesn’t matter if you have hair or not, or even how tall you are, or how you’re built. Just quit the excuses get yourself a plan and… DO IT! AND DON’T STOP UNTIL YOU GET WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. AND DON’T SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST… Let’s try to keep the focus of “why you’re not getting results” on a more positive track. The reason that you are not getting results, or not meeting enough women is obviously a problem or you wouldn’t have purchased my book. Problems have to be diagnosed before you can solve them. You’ve already made one good decision by obtaining this book. This tells me that you have already made some effort to try to change the situation you’re in. Getting started on the road to change is very important because without change you will not progress. In order to diagnose your problem, or problems, you must first ask yourself the following questions: (Get out a pencil and a note pad and write down your answers as we go along.)
1. Do I know what kind of woman I want? 2. Do women reject me right away? 3. Do I handle rejection from women well? 4. Do I go into singles bars and just stand around without approaching any women? 5. Do I see myself as a shy person? 6. Am I satisfied with myself physically? 7. How do women think I look physically? 8. Would I like to improve my physical condition? 9. Do I want a serious relationship? *
Let’s analyze each of your answers. You must be as honest as possible in answering these questions. Remember, we must diagnose the problems before we can solve them. Also, note that some of my examples deal with the nightclub/single bar-type environment. When answering these questions try to picture
yourself in a singles club. The reason I have done this is that my readers and fans constantly relate their situations to the nightclub scene and I have found that it is a pretty predictable atmosphere. If you don’t happen to frequent the nightclubs then just simply answer the questions for your particular situation. Do I know what kind of woman I want? This is a very important question to ask yourself because, if you don’t have a vision of what your dream girl (or your dream centerfold) should look like, then you will significantly limit your chances of getting the woman you really want. You must be focused in on the exact desirable qualities that interest you. In this situation, I’m referring to the woman of your dreams and needs— not some “two” on your “scale of ten.” Is she intelligent? Is she dumb? Does she have a sense of humor? Is she rich? Is she poor? Is she independent? Is she just average? Is she tall? Short? Blonde? Brunette? Medium-sized breasts? Big breasts? Is she innocent looking? Or…very nasty looking? Does she have to fit all of your criteria, most, or just a few? What if she really excels in just one area of these descriptions? Describe your expectations of the woman that you want. Be specific about your tastes—both physically and mentally. Write it out in your 15
note pad and keep it for reference. Keep in mind that this is a list focused on her qualities, not a list of bargaining chips in case she finds your presumed flaws. Always try to radiate self confidence. Understanding what you’re looking for will help us pinpoint a direction for finding a particular type of woman. Also, it will guide us in determining the best places to find her. If you don’t know what type of woman you’re looking for, you’ll probably settle for just about anything, right? Do women reject me right away? Ask yourself this, “When I walk up to a woman in a nightclub, do I stutter and just walk away? If I ask her to dance and she says ‘no,’ do I just walk away, or do I continue to talk to her?” When I approach someone, does she usually walk away? Think about this one, and be honest. Can you keep a woman’s attention for any length of time after first approaching her? The purpose of looking at these things is to help you realize how women are rejecting you. If you’ve been rejected by women frequently, then you probably don’t like to think about it—but you must try to accept it as a problem. Remember—in a nightclub situation, when women reject you it might be for a multitude of reasons. When you are in a nightclub or 16
bar, it’s like you’re on the playing field. And, women usually have the advantage. The “night scene” has different rules than when you are at a museum or an aerobics class. If you are getting rejected before you can even get out your first sentence, maybe you are going to the wrong place to meet your kind of woman. Do I handle rejection from women well? Do you get frustrated to the point of just giving up, or do you keep trying? Do you crawl into a shell and forget the world? Do you get angry? If you do handle rejection well, do you just laugh it off? If you’ve answered this last question ‘no,’ then you’re just like most people. Nobody likes being rejected. But it’s how you handle rejection that is important. The bottom line on rejection is, “Don’t be afraid of being rejected.” We will study rejection in detail in our next chapter, on confidence.
Do I go into singles bars and just stand around without approaching any women? This is a bad habit of many men. They walk into singles bar after singles bar and just sit down and watch. They never utter a word to any woman. I am amazed when I go into clubs and see all the beautiful women sitting and waiting for men to approach them. These women want you to approach them—that’s why they are there! If the answer to this question is ‘no’, then you’ll to need to brush up on some other areas to be covered in future chapters of this book. Do I see myself as a shy person? Are you simply afraid to approach women? Do you cringe at the thought of meeting new women? They say that shyness is inherited. That may be true, but the reason doesn’t matter if it is constantly hindering your chances to meet someone. If you answered the above question ‘yes,’ then we need to adjust your attitude a bit. First, let’s look at it realistically. In general, women like shy men because they perceive that the shy man is more honest—a more down-to-earth type of guy. When you approach a woman and 18
you’re totally petrified, stuttering, and nervous as hell, most women are flattered that you have built up enough courage to approach them. They love the fact that you find them attractive. After all, this is what all women desire. They like as much attention as possible. That is why they spend so much money trying to make themselves look beautiful. Don’t act like most shy men, always sitting around and waiting for women to approach them. When they are approached by a woman—any woman—they take the easy road and settle. They wind up marrying her two months later. This is a cop-out! You may have been able to do much better but were afraid to approach someone more desirable. Take a chance! If you’re shy, don’t worry about it. Find the most beautiful woman in the place, take a couple of deep breaths, go up to her and introduce yourself. You might offer to buy her a drink, ask her to dance, complement her on the way she’s dressed, etc. Am I satisfied with myself, physically? Look at yourself closely. Are you overweight? Do you smell bad? Is your body out of tone? Is your hairstyle from another decade? Be honest with yourself. Put your cards on the table.
If you are not satisfied with yourself in this area, you’ve made the first step by buying this book. In the following chapters, I will guide you to putting yourself in the physical condition that you desire. Do women think I look good, physically? If you are not sure, ask some women. Tell them that you’re doing a college experiment and you want an honest answer on how people think you look. Maybe you are too shy to approach them face to face. You could have one of your friends help you out. Have them show a picture of you to several women and ask their opinion. If you can’t do either of these things, find a trusted roommate, friend or relative—someone you know will be honest. A good friend usually can be relied on. Most people should be able to analyze their own situation. Just look in the mirror and compare yourself physically to someone you envy. What person would you most like to be like, physically speaking? Would I like to improve my physical condition? You are the person that needs to answer this question. But if you are unsure, or don’t think that you need improvement, then once again, go out and ask some “beautiful” women what they think 20
would improve your physical appearance? Don’t take offense at some of the possible answers. It’s supposed to be called “constructive criticism.” If the answer to this question is ‘no,’ you’re probably working out at the gym on a regular basis, right? If not, perhaps you have a physical handicap. If you have no handicap and are still not working out, the problem could only be laziness. Yes, that devastating disease that plagues millions of people. I have only one comment on lazy people: Get off your sorry butt—NOW! Not tomorrow, or later, but NOW! If you want to meet any kind of decent women, you will have to follow my plan. Don’t be like the fat cat in the cartoon who says—while eating sardines: “Some day I’m gonna get me a mouse trap.” Laziness won’t get you the beautiful women that you deserve. Do I want a serious relationship? Are you ready to settle down with one woman? Do you still feel the need to play the field and see what develops? If the answer is ‘yes’ to a serious relationship, then you must find a woman that meets all or most of the expectations of your dream girl. You certainly wouldn’t want to spend all your valuable time with a woman who doesn’t measure up to your own standards. You
need to make sure that you find a woman who does more for you than all the others. She must be a good match for you. Some of the obvious reasons for not getting results are very simple. Perhaps you lack confidence or you encourage rejection. Confidence is the subject of our next chapter. In that chapter, we will go into the different ways that I can help you in this area. For now, let’s dwell a little bit more on this thing called rejection (that ugly word). Unfortunately, rejection is an everyday part of life. Most of us can cope with minor rejection like the bank turning you down for a loan or a business deal going sour. These are forms of rejection that you deal with on a regular basis. Being rejected by a woman is really no different. Yes, as I have said before, even the “great” Peter North has been rejected (but only once…or so). Rejection is just a reality of everyday life. Every one of us faces it. The most important thing is how you handle it. You’ve got to understand that some women don’t want the Mr. Universe type or Mr. Macho. Some women want mice or wimps. All women see different men differently. To one woman, a bald man is unappealing, but to another, a bald man turns her on. I’m making this point because most men take personal offense when a 22
woman turns them down (or rejects him). Most men don’t understand that each woman has a different expectation of what her knight in shining armor will be like. So don’t take rejection from women so personally. There will always be a woman out there who will say ‘yes.’ Rejection can work to your advantage. For instance, suppose you’re sitting in a night club scanning on a particular woman and you see that she is rejecting every guy that approaches her to dance. Most men would be deterred from asking her. But, in most of these situations, timing is essential. First, you send a drink over to her table and make sure that she acknowledges you. Smile at her, but don’t overdo it. Watch her reaction to the music. When she reacts favorably to a song, go up to her and ask her to dance. Chances are that she’ll say ‘yes.’ She will feel somewhat obligated to dance with you because you sent her a drink. If she says ‘no,’ just look at that as an opportunity to start a conversation. I have seen this work successfully many times. First, look at it from the woman’s perspective. Most women want to “get lucky” just as badly as you do. But they might be worrying about some of the possible consequences, things that men aren’t fully aware of. For one thing, there’s always the chance of getting pregnant. She might also be worrying about sexually transmitted diseases. Men usually don’t care as much about these things as 23
women do. Beautiful and worthwhile women are usually a bit more defensive when a guy tries to be sexually aggressive toward her. This is one of the biggest mistakes men make. Don’t smother a woman by trying to hump her in the middle of a conversation. You should relax and take your time. Your chances of getting to know her will be much better with this kind of approach. Let’s face it, gentlemen, some women view us as animals and some of us are. Most women reject men in nightclubs because they come on too strong. Two of my friends performed a survey for me in the clubs of New York and Los Angeles over the past year. The survey asked women this question: What are the different reasons that women reject men in night clubs? The most popular reasons were: •
Men act too phony.
Men act like all they want is sex.
Men view them as though they were a piece of meat.
Also, women were really turned off when: •
Men come off too aggressive.
Women really hated it when: •
Men looked or dressed sloppy. 24
Procrastination Another reason that a lot of men don’t get any action is procrastination. Sitting on your butt watching television and eating junk food will get you absolutely nowhere with anything or anybody. If you aren’t willing to get out there and try, your odds of meeting anyone will decrease substantially. The chances of a beautiful woman coming into your house to watch as you view television and to share your pizza are very small. You may have a million reasons why you’re not getting results. Just remember this: There are at least a million men out there just like you who think the same thing. Just remember this—they don’t have the Peter North Guide to help them. You now have the greater advantage. Now instead of three or four beautiful women to each man, it’s ten or fifteen beautiful women to every smart man. The men without the Peter North Guide will get the women no one else wants, or end up with nothing. Consider this book to be your advantage over the other womanless men. If you follow my proven strategies, you will prevail with a woman that will satisfy you.
2. CONFIDENCE The definition of confidence in the dictionary is as follows: The strong belief in one’s own abilities. The fact of being or feeling certain; assurance, belief in one’s self confidence, reliance on one’s own powers. Confidence is not something you can buy. Confidence is something you have to build within yourself. Part of the confidence-building process is believing in yourself and feeling good about yourself. Once you believe in yourself, others will believe in you. Once you feel good about yourself, others will feel good about you. Though I’m not a psychologist, when it comes to women, I am aware of what works and what doesn’t. The first person that has to like you is you! Confidence is the most important element when initially meeting women. Women can almost sense immediately when a man lacks confidence. They notice when you can’t look them straight in the eye, when you stutter while trying to start up a
conversation, or when you act extremely nervous when you approach them. To women, these are all obvious indicators that confidence is lacking. You must have at least a little selfconfidence to be able to approach a woman with any chance of success. When people do not think highly of themselves, it is usually because they have literally made themselves believe in all of their personal flaws or faults. They dwell on their bad physical appearance, speech impediments, and other negatives, when they should be thinking of all the positive things about themselves. If every person on this planet looked closely enough at himself, he could always find something wrong. Remember, everybody, at some time in his life, has felt doubtful or inadequate about himself. There are several components involved in the confidence-building process. Confidence building can be done in several different ways, and these are a few ways that have worked for me: •
Always reward yourself for the positive things that you do.
Dwell on your good points, not on your bad ones.
Refuse to think negatively.
Constantly tell yourself how you are just as good as the smoothest Casanova.
Work on being a more positive person. 27
Always look for a positive end result.
Rewarding yourself is very important in the confidence building process For example, if you order your dog to do a trick for you and he does it, you reward him with a bone. The same principle applies to you. If you’ve set a goal and met it, even if it was something you did against your wishes (like a root canal!), you should always reward yourself. Or, if you’ve accomplished something that has made you feel good about yourself—reward yourself. Here’s an example: I just purchased a new car. I went to five different dealerships until I got the deal that I was looking for, and to reward myself, I went out and bought myself a new Giorgio Armani double breasted suit. You should always reward yourself, unless you’re rich enough to pay someone to do it for you. This helps build self-esteem and makes you feel better about yourself. There are several ways that you can do this: buy yourself a new tie or a pair of shoes. Or if you really feel that you deserve something big, buy yourself a new Ferrari. The important thing is that you realize your accomplishments, and reward yourself with something that fits the magnitude of the accomplishment.
Dwell on your good points, not your bad ones Let’s face it: nobody’s perfect. As I’ve said before, anyone can find something wrong with all of us. We all have flaws; some have bigger ones than others, but we all have them. I am probably the only exception to this rule but I was just lucky (joking, of course). Don’t criticize yourself. There are enough negative people in the world. The world doesn’t need another critic. Instead, compliment yourself. When something goes wrong, look for something positive in it. Ask yourself what went right. For example, you may have a bald head and are pathetically fat, but you should disregard those facts and instead start to think about your assets. Dwell on your great sense of humor, or on your blue eyes that women always compliment. If you think positive thoughts, you will be more relaxed and increase your chances of meeting more beautiful women. Take the time right now to figure out what some of your good points are. If your teeth are extremely white, then smile more! Everyone has good points, find yours and then capitalize on them.
Refuse to think negatively Anytime that a negative thought comes into your head, no matter how big or small, simply do not allow it to affect you. this may sound simple, and it can be, if you follow these simple steps: Don’t waste your time looking back unless you can learn something from it. Leave bad emotions behind because you don’t need any mental sewage. What has happened in the past no longer matters. Don’t ever say, “I can’t.” What this really means is, you won’t. Personally, I don’t even associate with people that project this type of attitude. They make me sick. Set your sights high and forget the “I can’t.” YOU CAN, DAMN IT! When you say you can’t, you really mean, “I’m not worth it.” You’ve got to be willing to change. Forget about the old you and start thinking about the new, more positive you. Identify your old negative habits and replace them with positive ones. When you find yourself making excuses and/or procrastinating, keep pumping yourself full of positive things. Just do it…
No man is better than another Definitely don’t forget this one. In looking at yourself you may see several inadequacies. Possibly you are thin, or short, or bald…so what? Should you see a muscle-bound stud walking with a beautiful woman, you may think he’s well-built. He might look good physically; but, you only see what’s on the outside. This supposed stud may barely be able to speak his name, and maybe he’s the most dull and boring person on this earth or, even worse, he may not even be able to get a hard-on (imagine that!) The point that I’m trying to make is that you should never be little yourself. After all, you are just as good as anyone else, if not better. Working on a positive inner you is essential This can be achieved by various techniques. Here’s one that works for me. You have to first start off by reprogramming yourself to think differently. Next time, instead of looking at the negative side of a situation, look toward the positive. For example, let’s say that you are driving down a busy street and you stop at an intersection. You see a man in a wheelchair crossing the street. Think of his situation and compare it to yours. Nothing short of a miracle might make him able to walk again, even if he had all the money in the world. Now, look at yourself. If you have two perfectly good legs, even when things aren’t going your way, you still have the ability to walk. (This example is meant as a comparison only. It isn’t 31
intended to single out the handicapped. I personally know a partially paralyzed man, confined to a wheelchair, who is happy that he’s even alive, and…he’s getting laid more than people that are 100% healthy.) IT’S ALL IN YOUR ATTITUDE! Always look for a positive end result Envision this: You are in a night club. You walk up to the most beautiful woman in the place and ask her to dance. She responds, ‘yes.’ After the dance, you buy her a drink, talk to her for a while. Then you ask her for her phone number or, better yet, ask her to your place for a nightcap. When you envision such a scenario, it will make it easier to approach these women. You will look surer of yourself and women like that. I’ve found that, if you just have a good attitude and some confidence, you can get what you need from women. But, more importantly, they will get what they need from you. Most woman want sex just as much or more than you do. In fact, in a survey that was recently done, polling one hundred single women between the ages of eighteen and thirty-two, the question was asked: “How often do you think of having sex—once a day, twice a day, or more than three times a day?” The results showed that seventy-two out of a hundred admitted that they wanted to have
sex at least twice a day. A woman’s sex drive is just as strong as a man’s. I recently did a rather primitive survey of my own. The objective was to try to help raise the confidence level of my students. In this particular survey, I did find out some interesting information. I sent six women into six different night clubs in the Los Angeles area, asking them to go into the ladies’ restroom and to report back to me what some of the conversations were about. I was most interested in the sexual content of the conversations. The findings were quite interesting! Girl No. 1 reported back to me that she had hung out in the restroom for approximately forty minutes and got the usual earful. She said that most of the topics were sexually-oriented. One girl had just come back from the parking lot where she had apparently been serviced by the valet attendant. She also told her girlfriend that this episode in the parking lot got her hotter than a volcano and that she needed a man. Several girls came and went while Girl No. 1 was listening from a stall. They all had sex on their minds. Girl No. 2 came back from a Hollywood night club and gave me her story. She said, “I was in the restroom for forty five minutes and the most interesting conversation I heard was about these three girls who had come to the bar together to find a guy to take home. They planned to tie him up and take turns teasing him all night. 33
They said they were all tired of commitments to men. Several other women commented on how horny they were and that they needed some intimate attention.” Girl No. 3 told me that, after just fifteen minutes, she had heard enough for her report. She began to tell me how one woman was so horny; she said she was not going to leave the bar until she found someone. She said she would take home the first man that approached her! I asked Girl No. 3 what this woman looked like. Was she a filthy pig? She said that this girl was one of the better looking women in the club; one a scale of one to ten, maybe an ‘eight.’ Girl No. 3 also said that, just by looking at this woman, you would never think that she would be talking about this sort of thing. (You never can tell by just looking at someone.) Girl No. 4 said that she had heard a few women complaining that the men were not aggressive enough. The women stated that they were horny and didn’t come to this bar to make small talk—they wanted to get laid! Girl No. 5 sat in the stall of a restroom in a posh West Los Angeles night club for one hour. She reported that, in addition to listening to a couple get it on in the stall next to hers, she also
heard one woman tell her friend that she had not had sex in over a week and that the men weren’t as aggressive as they should be. Girl No. 6 came back from a popular night club and reported that she had witnessed two women talking about having sex in different places. The first girl said, “Once I made love with two guys at once in an elevator that was stuck between floors.” My objective in reporting the survey is to make this point: The women out there are very horny and more nasty and adventurous than most men would ever think. Men and women are put on this planet to breed. So…get out there and do your part! Also, if you have a chance, go into the ladies’ rest room and hear for yourself! (I’m joking, of course.) Goal setting Goal setting is an important component in establishing selfconfidence. If you don’t have goals in life, it’s like taking a trip and driving cross country without a road map. Goals are similar to road maps. To get to your planned destination you must take various routes and travel through different terrain. This is also true in life; you go through the ups and downs, ins and outs and so on.
Remember, you’ve got to have a dream if you’re going to make your dream become a reality. Try to focus in on what your dreams are. Look at Arnold Schwarzenegger. His dream was to be Mr. Uni-verse, The King of All Body Builders. Not only did he achieve that goal, he went on to be a famous movie star and a millionaire. He overcame the odds and stuck with his goals. Self-confidence is what it takes to help make your dreams come true. If you want to find that beautiful woman you’ve been dreaming about, you must have a plan to guide you there. About 90% of the population has no such plan whatsoever. They wake up in the morning, go to work, come home, and do the same thing day after day. They live paycheck-to-paycheck, never getting anywhere. Most people don’t know the first thing about setting goals. That’s why a majority of people never get anywhere in life; they fail to plan ahead and have no goals or direction. These people are like transients in the streets. They walk from dumpster to dumpster, hopelessly wandering. These are the type of people who hope one day that they’ll win the lottery or inherit a fortune. Their lives constantly revolve around waiting for things to happen—unrealistic things. These people usually wind up drowning themselves in alcohol, drugs and “garbage.” On the other hand, 10% of people take the time and exercise the discipline to decide upon a destination. They start on a course
(devise a plan) that will make them successful in life. When a person sets goals and puts them into effect, he usually accomplishes the things he sets out to do in a relatively short period of time. The goal-oriented person may take months to reach his objective. However, the person without goals or direction may never succeed. Realistically speaking, in today’s society most people are followers, not leaders. They would rather have someone else make their decisions for them. Each and every person on this planet has both a success mode and a failure mode. The failure mode goes off automatically. In the absence of the success mode, people just automatically fail and go nowhere with their lives. The success mode is triggered by a goal. Every time we think about our goal, visualize our goal, talk about our goal, or write down our goal, we are turning on the success mode and we are triggering ourselves toward positive accomplishment. The devastating reality is, of course, that the great majority of people don’t think of this. And even when they do think of it, they lack the self-confidence, the will, or the courage to set goals and stick with them until they accomplish them. You must have an “intense ultimate purpose.” This means the ability to set a clear burning purpose and commit yourself to it unconditionally.
A self-made billionaire, who died back in the sixties, made the following statement in an interview when asked: “What advice or recommendations would you give to people out there seeking a better way of life?” He said, “Son, I’ve established hundreds of corporations in my life and made billions of dollars. I found that it’s not difficult to be successful. There are only two things that are required. First of all, you must decide exactly what it is that you want to accomplish. (Most people never take that step of deciding exactly what it is they want in life.) The second thing that you have to do, is to determine the price you have to pay to accomplish exactly what it is that you want. Then you must resolve to pay that price and to make the sacrifices that are necessary to accomplish it. This is all you have to do—determine what you want and then resolve to pay the price to get it.” Set different types of goals. Start with your long-term or lifetime goals. What do you stand for? What cause would I defend to the end? What would I want people to say about me after I’m dead and gone? After setting you lifetime goals, start setting your “immediate goals” or “priority goals.” Priority goals are goals that you set with a specific time limit on them—a one-year limit or a three-month limit, for instance.
Most people waste the majority of their valuable time each day going through the same old “stick in the mud” routine, wasting their most valuable commodity—time. They put off projects and put off making crucial decisions that could get them ahead. Since they don’t have a plan, then eventually they lose precisely by failing to plan. Most people spend more time planning a night on the town, reading a magazine or watching a football game than they do planning their own lives. Successful people set their daily goals the evening before, making a list of the important things they’ll do the following day. Projects or chores that allow you to realize the greatest progress toward you goals should receive the first priority. Successful people are always thinking of goal achievement instead of aimless wandering to fill a time slot. The key to success is focusing on goal achievement rather than running off to play somewhere. The difference between the real winners and losers is their selfdirection. Losers focus their attention on the instant gratification they get from pleasurable activities. They have no long-range goals or results in mind. That’s like eating the desert before the main course. Winners focus their attention on the achievement of their goals. That gives them pleasurable and long-term results.
The value of making lists Start each day by making a To-Do List. This practice should be as routine as taking a shower (assuming that you shower, of course). Write down all the things that you want to accomplish that day. Then, list them in the order of importance. The small amount of time and effort that you invest in this practice will repay you many, many times over. Make sure your list is on one sheet of paper rather than on several sheets. Also, make the list on a pad or piece of paper that is small enough to fit into your wallet or pocket so that you can have it with you everywhere you go. Any goals that are not completed that day should be carried over to the next day’s goal list. Developing a habit of decisive goal setting is both self-satisfying and can be mentally and physically profitable. Reaching your goals is not only rewarding and satisfying for you, but it will positively affect the women in your life as well. Remember, your goals should be just out of reach, but not out of your sight. Your goals should be specific, because your brain operates like a laser-guided missile or a computer reading its disk drive. Like a robot on autopilot, what information you feed into your brain determines the direction in which you’ll be headed. The 40
brain can’t program itself without your inputting specific information. It won’t relate to general or indeterminate information. In other words, you have to be very specific in your goal setting. Don’t just say that you want to make more money. Be specific—set your goal for how much money you want and how long you’ll give yourself to earn it. The more specifically you define your goals, the better the aim and focus. Goal setting will help make you a more self-confident person. You’ll begin to see a positive person in yourself, and so will the women Ultimately, everyone wants happiness. So, write down all the things that you think would make you happy and continue to work at them until you achieve them. Believe me, it can be done. Get rid of the negative. Don’t waste your time looking back at the past; that’s history, forget about it. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Forget about all those missed opportunities. The time is now. Five minutes ago is gone. So, don’t worry about the past or anything for that matter. Worry is a “negative.” Eliminate it from your vocabulary. Before we proceed to the next chapter, I would like to tell you about a person I know. This person, whom we will refer to as “Fredrick,” was quite shy and had a very low opinion of himself. 41
Fredrick was someone who came to me seeking advice. He was also partially responsible for motivating me to write this book. Fredrick was not only striking out with women, he was also striking out with life in general. Just by looking at this guy, you could tell he was on his last leg. He asked me this: “What is your secret success with women?” I told him that I really hadn’t thought about it much. However, it soon dawned on me that I was indeed successful with women. I began to analyze why I had had such success and I came up with this: You must first and foremost have “self-confidence.” If you don’t have that, you might as well be a whimpering introvert. You can build confidence in yourself by following the suggestions found in this chapter. Remember that, when you have confidence in yourself, you will also realize that you have self-respect and dignity. But, the most important thing you will have is the will to change. (By purchasing this book, you have shown that you have the will to change.) You must make a commitment to yourself that you want to “make something of yourself.” If you don’t decide to do this, it will never happen. Nobody will do it for you. As I look back, I made this commitment to myself years and years ago. I see the goals that I’ve set for myself. Some I’ve accomplished, others I’m still working on. I made a commitment to myself that I was going to be successful no matter what I did in 42
life. It just so happens that I work in the adult entertainment business. I consider myself lucky to have such a great job—but I’ve worked hard to put myself in this position and to give 100% with every performance. I also have made a commitment to my fans, never to let them down. I told Fredrick that, the bottom line is, you’ve got to set goals for yourself and commit yourself to them. If you want to be a rock star, then I suggest that you start taking music seriously and get yourself involved in some line of work that is related to the music industry. You may even have to work in the mail room at Warner Brothers Record Company. You must focus in on what it is you want in life and then plan how you’ll get there. It’s the same with meeting women. Find one that you really like and map yourself out a plan on how you’re going to get her. Knowledge can also help create confidence. The more you learn about what it is that you want to be good at, the better you get at it. Things start to become easier when you have knowledge working for you, instead of making your backbone do all the work. Just remember this: always make your endeavor an exciting one. Points to remember •
Focus on exactly what it is you want.
Set goals for yourself, both long and short term. 43
Make the necessary sacrifices and commitments to achieve your goals.
Always have high expectations of yourself.
Always be confident and positive.
3. KEEPING IN SHAPE OR NOT KEEPING IN SHAPE First of all, look at yourself in a full length mirror and evaluate the way you look. View yourself very carefully. Be realistic and totally honest with yourself. If you are a filthy, fat pig, then admit it. If you look as skinny as a toothpick, then be straight-forward with yourself. After analyzing your physical condition, write down in a notebook what your deficiencies are, or what you need to work on physically to get yourself into self-satisfying condition. Try to pinpoint the exact kind of physical condition that you would like to be in. Don’t generalize, be specific. Do you want bigger arms? Maybe you’re satisfied with your arms but you want a bigger chest. Write down exactly what it is you want. Most importantly, be honest with yourself. Once you’ve analyzed your physical condition, you must continue to the next step. That is defining what you’re going to do about it. You must first ask yourself: What caliber of woman do I want? Do I want a zit-ridden, fat pig? Do I want a toothless bitty hag? 45
Probably not, because these types of women are always available and don’t take any effort to get. Maybe you would like the girl-next-door type, the Playboy centerfold type, or the college cheerleader type. Whatever the caliber of woman you choose, you should gear up your physical appearance toward attracting her. This is especially true in our society. You must stand out from the “average” guy in most situations. What I’m trying to get at here is that you may need to make some improvements on yourself. Although not all women are into physical appearance, it helps to have everything positive working for you. If you enhance some of your physical features, this will strengthen your chances of meeting more and even better looking women. Always try to enhance your looks in any way that you can. Next, you now know what type of woman you’re looking for, right? For example, my friend, Frank, likes all types of women; but, he usually prefers intellectual blondes with a “plain-Jane” school teacher type look. He knows what turns him on. He may date several other kinds of women, but ultimately this is the type of woman that he wants. You must have an image of your ideal woman (or dream girl). Let’s say that you’ve picked the aerobics queen—you know the type. She has long wild hair, beautiful face, slender build, totally 46
gorgeous body. You might have seen her working out at the gym that you just joined. Most of these women are very aware of being in shape. They care very much about the way that they look. They eat healthy and they like to associate with people that feel the same way they do. If you want to have a chance at her, you had better start preparing yourself for a major commitment—and I mean a real serious commitment—to work and work hard. She can be yours if you realize that it can be done. But, you will have to commit yourself to achieving the same or higher levels than she has physically. This is exactly what inspired me to start working out. Believe it or not, I once had a thin, scrawny build myself. I didn’t know the first thing about women, weight lifting, or eating healthy. I finally realized that, if I wanted to meet and date beautiful women, I’d better do something about it. I was twenty years old then, but I made the commitment and I stay with it. As a result, I have finally realized success in many parts of my life. Keeping in shape is good for several reasons. One reason is that you have much more endurance. I need my endurance so that I can work all day and night. Endurance is built by working out, eating right and so on. You can achieve endurance by running, weight training, doing aerobics, martial arts, playing basketball, etc. There are several different exercises that are effective. No matter what 47
you do, you have to do something, even if it’s just walking a couple of miles a day. Another benefit of being in shape is that you live longer. Hard work will always pay off, if you really care about how you look. The longer you work at it, the more it will show. Most important is the fact that you’ll feel better. The bottom line is, if you want a fine woman, you’ve got to work at it. Remember, anything worthwhile takes effort, and this applies to meeting fine women. The biggest reason why most people don’t work out in the gym is that it’s hard work and sometimes painful. I have found that most people who start weight lifting programs push too hard the first few days in the gym. When this happens, they put themselves in constant soreness for several days afterwards, thus discouraging themselves from going any farther. I’m sure there are several other reasons for not working out, but other than a physical handicap or medical reasons, there are no valid excuses. You must have a certain amount of self-discipline to obtain any kind of success. If you don’t, you will always be making excuses for not making it to the gym to work out, or not eating right, etc. You’ve got to discipline yourself now and keep pushing yourself to achieve your goals. When your workday has ended and you’re tired, the easiest thing to do is to go home and lie on the couch, 48
watch television, or sit around and do nothing. Try asking a babe if she’d like to come over to hang out with a slob that sits around watching TV! This is when you have to tell yourself (as you grit your teeth), to go to the gym or to the basketball court. Sure, it’s not easy. If it were, everyone would be doing it. And, there wouldn’t be any fat slobs around. Remember, not everyone gets to meet beautiful women. Always set goals for yourself—short term goals and long term goals. Goal setting applies to just about everything in life from weight training to setting up strategies for meeting a woman. Don’t forget it. Ever. Now, I’m going to share some of my techniques for what it takes to build your body into a “woman magnet.” Probably the most important thing to remember is: YOUR DIET. Eating right and taking the right vitamins is essential in the bodybuilding process. Whoever it was that said, “You are what you eat,” is 100% right. You should think about that if you eat trash. Eventually, you’ll look like trash. No thanks! My diet consists of a variety of carbohydrates, fruits, vegetables, protein shakes, fish, red meat and, of course, I can’t forget: WOMEN.
My recommendations for a good, strong, healthy diet is to eat lots of fresh vegetables such as: potatoes, corn, spinach, lettuce (salads with very little salad dressing), beets, tomatoes, yams, squash, carrots, onions, pickles, celery, sweet potatoes, cucumbers, avocados, green beans, all types of beans (beans are an excellent source of the B-vitamins), peanuts, and all other types of nuts, garlic, egg plant, and any other vegetables that you can think of. Try to include lots and lots of vegetables into your diet every day. Any and all fruits should be eaten, such as: apples, oranges, grapefruits, cherries, peaches, pears, lemons, limes, strawberries, raspberries, grapes, tangerines, cranberries, raisins, apricots, bananas (a very good source of potassium and other essential vitamins), pineapples, coconuts, kiwis, plums, blueberries, mangos, watermelon, cantaloupe, and any other fruits that you can think of. Just remember to eat as many fruits and vegetables each day as you can. This is very essential. I cannot stress enough the importance of consistency in your diet. Every day, in addition to your workout, you must be consistent with you diet. If you are not, you will be defeating the purpose. Always remember this: one is no good without the other.
Try to stay away from the whites: sugar, salt and bleached flour. Your body does, however, need some sugar on a daily basis. But be aware of the amount you are consuming. Try to keep away from excessive amounts of ice cream. Ice cream is loaded with sugar and is also very high in cholesterol. If you are a diabetic, consult your doctor for a specialized diet for you to follow. Meats are a very important source of protein, but recent studies have found that red meats may not have as many benefits as originally thought. I personally think that red meat is good if eaten in moderation. All types of poultry: chicken, turkey, duck, pheasant, quail, and goose are good protein sources. When eating poultry, keep in mind that the skin of the bird is mostly fat. I usually remove the skin of all poultry before eating. Poultry also has less cholesterol than beef when the skin is removed. I highly recommend that you eat lots and lots of pasta because it is good for the brain. It is also good for energy (stamina). Spaghetti, ravioli, rigatoni, macaroni—eat lots of it. It’s good for you. Fish is probably the most beneficial addition to your diet. Eat lots of fish but try to stay away from the deep fried preparation.
Rice is probably my all-time favorite food. Not only is it a great source of carbohydrates, but it’s loaded with vitamins. I usually have rice prepared in a variety of different ways, sometimes mixed with spinach, sprouts, and green beans or potatoes. Use your imagination, but stay away from frying and creamy artificial sauces. If you find that you just don’t have the time to prepare these dishes or you are constantly in a hurry, then I suggest that you go to the grocery store and buy the Budget Gourmet vegetables or Stouffer’s meals. (I suggest the tuna noodle casserole.) These meals are microwaveable, fast, easy and nutritious. Always read the ingredients to make sure that there are no preservatives or MSG (monosodium glutamate, a flavor enhancer). Try to stay away from the fast food places. If you have no other alternatives, try to stick with the chicken or fish (preferably skinless, grilled or broiled). The reason to stay away from these types of places is because of the potential hazards of food poisoning, low nutritional value, and high fat content. Also, most of the fast food places still use grease to fry their food. People have actually died from eating at fast food places. If there’s one important meal that should never be missed, it’s breakfast. Breakfast is very important for a multitude of reasons. The first reason is that it’s the first meal of the day and because 52
your body is empty (unless you eat in your sleep), you need all the energy you can get. Another reason is that the first meal of the day expands your stomach muscles, which you’ll need for the fruits and vegetables you’ll continue to eat throughout the day. Breakfast is also the meal that you should try never to compromise on. So, don’t miss it and try to eat as nutritionally as possible. Again, try to stay away from all types of fats. Vitamins are an essential part of your diet and, because everyone’s nutritional needs are different, I recommend that you ask a licensed nutritionist or your doctor for a recommendation as to what vitamin combinations to use. As for me, when I wake up in the morning, I usually drink a protein shake mixed with fruit, even before I eat breakfast. When you finish your breakfast, take whatever vitamins you’ve chosen. In choosing vitamins, try to stay with the gel capsules. They are easier to digest in your system. Your B vitamins, especially B-12, are good for energy. Try to use them in the liquid form or gel caps if possible. Remember, you won’t get any benefits from taking vitamins if you don’t eat. Always take your vitamin supplements after you eat. Even missing one day can screw up your whole schedule. Protein powders are a good source of energy. The Joe Weider products are pretty good if you want to build mass or gain weight.
There are different mixtures for each objective. Ask a nutritionist or your health food store clerk which combination will work best. There are several other protein powders on the market which also come in different flavors. Here are some of my favorite recipes for protein shakes. You should drink shakes at least twice a day. All protein shakes can be mixed with many types of natural juices, low fat milk or spring water. Recipe No. 1 2 bananas 1/2 pineapple 1 papaya Combine fruit with orange flavored protein drink mix and blend thoroughly. Recipe No. 2 Low fat milk 2 bananas 4 egg whites 4 tablespoons of wheat germ
Combine with chocolate flavored protein drink mix and blend thoroughly. Recipe No. 3 1 cup fresh squeezed orange juice 1 cup fresh squeezed grapefruit juice 3 egg whites 2–3 scoops fruit flavored protein
Combine juices with flavored protein drink mix. Blend thoroughly. Recipe No. 4 2 cups yogurt (0% fat) 1 cup low fat milk 2 tablespoons wheat germ 2 tablespoons honey 1 tablespoon Vitamin C crystals Combine ingredients with flavored protein drink mix. Blend thoroughly. You may add any of your own ingredients to help compliment these mixtures. Just try to make sure that all the ingredients are
natural. Welch’s has a 100% natural, no sugar added, frozen grape juice that makes a great mixture. It’s also very important to get plenty of sleep. Everyone’s sleeping requirements are different. Personally, I try to get seven to eight hours per night (or day). Alcohol is not recommended. When I do drink alcohol, I drink in moderation. A few drinks now and then never hurt anybody. When drinking beer, I try to stay with the light beers. Always drink plenty of water, but try not to consume too much tap water. Tap water in my area (Los Angeles) is questionable at best. Water consumption is very important especially when working out at the gym. Try to always remember to bring a full water bottle with you when you are working out. You’ll need this because you lose essential bodily fluids when sweating, which need to be replaced immediately. When selecting fluids, stay away from the syrup and sugar based drinks. I prefer mountain spring water, Perrier, or Gatorade. It is very important to maintain a proper diet when working out. I have included the diet I use.
Diet for Body Builders Eat four to five meals a day on the days that you are working out. On your days off, eat at least three meals. In the morning, drink freshly squeezed juices, egg whites and fresh fruits with either oatmeal or some type of high grain cereal with whole grain toast. Blueberry pancakes are also recommended. At lunch time, eat rice cooked with egg whites, chicken (mostly white meat), or fish. Try to keep the red meat consumption to a minimum (once or twice a month). Bulk up on the salads. (Load them up with plenty of vegetables.) In between meals, you should eat lots of bananas, slices of white or whole wheat bread and drink spring water. I eat russet potatoes. I clean them and put them in the microwave. I refrigerate them until they’re cold and eat them throughout the day. For dinner, try baked fish or chicken, with plenty of potatoes and corn. If you eat deserts, eat nonfat yogurt. BE AWARE OF THE FAT CONTENT OF WHAT YOU ARE EATING. Currently, I am using Rexall vitamin products. I have tried several different vitamin supplements and have found Rexall to have very
effective products. If you would like to inquire about these products, feel free to call (800) 266 6245 ext. 5330 for information. Before you work out, you should ingest some protein, either in ready mixed form or mix your own from the various protein powders. One of the pre-mixed protein drinks is made by American Body Building Products. Some of their products include Amino Force and Blue Thunder. These are essential for feeding your muscles. After working out, sometimes I eat a 6-1/8 oz. can of StarKist tuna fish directly from the can. This is a great source of protein (over thirty-five grams). Remember that your body can only digest approximately 30 grams of protein at one sitting. *
Now that we’ve covered diet and sleep, let’s go on to weight training. Weight training is a great way to build and tone your body. Most worthwhile women like a toned body on a man, as opposed to a flabby body. You need to keep two things in mind when you select an appropriate gym. First, the gym should have competent instructors 58
and a competent nutritionist. You want to have these people set up a program for you, both physically and nutritionally. This comes standard with some of the bigger gyms, but even smaller ones will usually work out some type of rounded program for you. The second thing you need to accomplish when selecting a gym is to find an incentive to work out: you guessed it—women. There must be plenty of beautiful women present to help keep your motivation level up. Also, coed gyms usually have aerobics classes, which are almost always about 90% female. My weight training program consists of a mixture of different routines. I try to mix up my routine about every other month. Sometimes I will work on my legs and do lower body and stomach muscle exercises, etc. The following day, I will work on my upper body, chest, biceps, etc. I might run five or six miles on the third day, then take a day-off. Before each and every workout, you must never forget to first stretch out your muscles. Usually, your health instructor can advise you on several different stretching techniques. If not, consult a martial arts studio.
You’ve probably heard the saying: “No pain, no gain.” This is the biggest bunch of garbage ever. When you are working out at the gym, if you start feeling any type of real pain, you should immediately back off and start to work on different muscle groups. Fatigue and pain are two different things. Fatigue is when you get tired of working out. Pain is when you’re actually injuring yourself. Some soreness usually occurs approximately two to three days after your workouts (when initially starting a weight lifting program). The longer you work out, the less sore you’ll get. But remember, when it starts to really hurt, back off. Don’t take the risk of injuring yourself. When working on the chest muscles, there are a few standard exercises: the flat bench press, the incline press and the decline press. Have the gym instructor set you up on a program using these bench exercises and a serious chest workout. Other chest exercises include: using the fly machine or the peck pump machine, pushups, pull ups, dips. Instead of always using weights set up on a barbell for bench pressing, try using dumbbells. When you are weight training, always try to remember to use different exercises in working the same muscle groups. In other words, instead of using the bench press every day, on your next chest workout use pushups and dips, and do more repetitions.
Your lower body and leg exercises can be accomplished on all the different leg presses, squats, etc. Everyone’s strength levels are different. So don’t try to take the bull by the balls your first time out. Injuries caused by weight lifting often take long periods of time to heal. Take your time. You must remember this: you won’t have a perfect body in a day, so be patient. Don’t think that even a month of hard-core weight training is going to make a difference. Chances are you may see a difference, but different people will notice results sooner than others. Don’t get frustrated because one day you’ll be working out, you’ll look in the mirror, and you won’t even recognize yourself. Is it “The Hulk” or “?” So, here’s another set of goals for you: 1. Select a gym and join it. 2. Consult with a nutritionist or your doctor to plan your diet, including the necessary supplements, vitamins, etc. 3. Set a goal for yourself regarding the shape and condition you want to be in. Then start working toward it. 4. Set short and long term goals for yourself. 5. Commit yourself to the plan 100%. 6. Stay away from junk food. 7. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
Do not veer away from your plan. This is an order! If you want any kind of a decent woman, you’ll have to work for it. Remember, nothing that’s worthwhile in this life comes easy. You should also put together progress charts to keep track of what muscle groups to work on. The fitness trainer at your gym can help you design a specific chart for what you need to work on.
4. SENSE OF HUMOR A sense of humor is one of the most important elements of your personality when it comes to getting women to like you. A sense of humor is an essential part of your personality. That is because without it, you would be serious all the time—and seriousness leads to boredom. I have seen some of the ugliest, ignorant scum on this plant with some of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life. One of the key elements those men possess is a good sense of humor. You could be the wealthiest person alive, but without a sense of humor, you would eventually bore every woman to tears and they would take all of your money and leave. Some people use their sense of humor to make up for being short or being bald and…it works! I personally know two different people that used their sense of humor to compensate for their physical appearance. The first individual was a very “up type” person who always had a joke to tell and was very likable. He was handicapped in the looks
department because he was slightly bald and was missing a leg. Unlike most people who dwell on the negatives, he turned his handicap into an asset. He always had a “peg leg” joke ready. He never took his handicap or his physical appearance seriously. On a few occasions, he removed his wooden leg and passed it around the bar. The women found this man to be quite fascinating and his encounters with women were notorious. Believe me, this homeboy has been with some gorgeous dames (some of whom I personally know). The second person I’m talking about is seriously overweight; I mean a real fat pig. “Mr. Pig” (as we will refer to him) was in fact a virtual ‘hippopotamus.’ He was, though, one of the funniest human beings on this planet. Mr. Pig is getting laid all the time! I could not figure out how Mr. Pig was meeting all these babes. Women seemed to overlook the fact that he’s a blimp. When he starts telling his jokes, people gather around and listen because it’s just human nature to want to laugh. In my opinion, it’s almost more important to have a sense of humor than any other one trait. Even studies done by individuals in the medical field have proven that laughter can be healthy. That is because it relieves all the stress and tension that everyone has.
Women feel far less threatened when a man has a sense of humor. There’s nothing better to ease the tension than a good joke or a humorous comment. They say that some people are born with a sense of humor, but what if you don’t have one or if yours is rather dull? One very basic suggestion is that you go to your local book store and purchase a joke book or listen to some old Richard Prior, Eddie Murphy or Sammy Kinison tapes. Get ideas from the masters. Movies such as Arthur, Trading Places, Hollywood Knights, Naked Gun, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, or any of your favorite comedies are easy ways to get one-liners. Another suggestion is to take her to a movie (comedy), and then on the drive home, subtly quote a couple humorous lines from the movie. Most women find this both humorous and witty. Humor is really just an extension of reality. The real things that happen to us in everyday life seem to be the most humorous. Most successful comedians use real everyday situations in their comedy routines. They always find that the real situations are the funniest to their audiences. The dictionary defines humor as: A person’s disposition, temperament; a mood; state of mind; the quality that makes something seem funny, amusing or ludicrous; the ability to 65
perceive, appreciate or express what is funny, amusing, or ludicrous. Doing imitations can be a good way to break the ice with some women. For instance, you could do the old “Jack Nicholson” impression, even if you’re not good at it, because it will seem funny to most women. There are books and tapes on the subject of doing imitations. Go to your local library and ask your librarian for reference books on “Humor.” Maybe they’ll be able to help you. The most important thing to keep in mind is to let the woman know that deep down inside you, you possess a sense of humor. Everyone has a sense of humor. It’s just that some people have to dig deeper than others to find it. Find yours and start working on it. When finding humor and making jokes, do so without being openly critical or rude toward others. For instance, if you’re walking out of a movie theater with your date and you see a big, fat, sweat hog of a woman walking in front of you, don’t make an offensive comment that could be heard by others. Some men would laugh out loud or make a remark of some sort. Most decent women (especially when you’re first getting to know them) will be turned off by this. Women would view this as mean or rude. Instead of laughing out loud or making a crude remark, just wait until the fat woman is out of listening range and ask your date if 66
she’s ever seen anyone take up that much space? That way, you can find out what type of sense of humor she has without being offensive or embarrassing her. You can always try some humorous one-liners. Sometimes this can break the ice from the start. When you first approach a woman, you can use a good line that’s been around for a long time: “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?” But, better than that old cliché, try this: “You look familiar.” She’ll probably chuckle a little bit at this cliché. But, add: “Yeah, maybe it’s because I saw you ten minutes age when I first walked in here.” Another cliché is: “Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?” If you choose to use a cliché, try to be creative—add your own style, wit, flair and humor. And make it funny. Another semi-serious one-liner to use when first having a conversation with a woman: “The next time you see your parents, thank them for me.” She will ask, “Why?” You say, “Because they have created one beautiful daughter.” This is best used when parting and, though it may sound corny, women love this type of thing—compliments with humor. When you first meet a woman that you are interested in, remember to try to keep her entertained. Try to keep the mood relaxed and easygoing (non-threatening). If there’s a gap in the conversation, tell a joke. Say this: “I heard a joke this afternoon, and it’s a good 67
one.” You can then proceed to tell a tasteful joke. Don’t tell a crude one at this point. You would do yourself a favor by saving those for when you get to know her better. My good friend, Ron Jeremy, is a master at keeping people entertained. He knows a lot of famous people and has plenty of good stories. Women, especially, love that kind of stuff. Some women don’t care about who you know or what you have, but they always want someone with a sense of humor and someone that likes to have fun. When I go out on dates, one of the things that I do to make women laugh is to tell them about some of the stupid or funny things that have happened to me in the past. Some of these things weren’t too colorful and might not have made me look good. However, they helped relieve the tension and make the women feel more comfortable and relaxed. This also lets the women know that you’re not so hung up on yourself that you can’t admit to having done stupid things. Telling them these types of things will almost definitely get good laughs. Sarcasm or sarcastic humor is effective if it’s not overdone. For instance, sarcasm takes timing and understanding. If the time isn’t right, it could come off as offensive. Some suggestions for where to find “comfortable” sarcasm is on MASH, probably one of the all-time great television series. Alan Alda masterfully delivers his perfectly timed comments, and even he misses a few times.
Also another good source of sarcastic humor is the Airplane movies, Airplane #1 and Airplane #2. Mel Brooks has had most of his success with making movies dealing in sarcasm. Personally, I like small amounts of sarcasm, but I find that too much can be annoying. Some women like it and others don’t. So I suggest that you use your own discretion and make sure your timing is right. Remember, there’s nothing like a good laugh to break the ice. And…give her some room to share some humor, too! There is a time for you to shut up and listen to her. If she wants to share something, think about what she’s saying. If she wants you to respond to her, you’re on your way.
5. GROOMING TIPS: DRESS TO GET RESULTS For your own sake, “Don’t be a dribbling slob!” It’s not that damn hard to look halfway presentable. Always remember this: First impressions are the most important. In this chapter, I will cover some of the basic things that women look at when contact is first made. (This is undoubtedly the most impressionable time.) Beautiful women won’t give you a second look if you “look like a dribbling slob!” There is a simple solution to this problem: DON’T LOOK LIKE A DRIBBLING SLOB. It’s not that difficult to look decent. It is true that looks aren’t everything. But good looks and good grooming techniques are a direct reflection of how you operate the rest of your life. If you look and dress like a filthy slob, then chances are you are probably a slob at home and in your office. Chances are that the condition of your car is also filthy. Women are very aware of this. Most of the “very fine” women (if this is 70
what you want) will be looking for someone that cares about the way he looks, just as they care about how they look. Women spend billions of dollars every year getting “beautified.” Why? Because they want to impress men! Look at yourself in the mirror. What is it that you see? A hopeless geek? A baldheaded eyesore? Again, be honest and analyze yourself from head to toe. Be constructive, not destructive, in analyzing yourself. Your reason for doing this is to determine what your weak points are. Start with your hair and work your way down. Ask yourself questions like, “Is this the hair of a stud or the hair of a cue ball?” (Don’t get me wrong, I know many women that like bald men.) Now it’s time to make another list. This may sound unnecessary, but it has proven to be effective. In the first column, put the good things about yourself. In the second column, put the not-so-good things (or things you think you might need some work). By all means, be honest with yourself. If you suffer from acne, write it down. Our objective with this issue is to highlight some of your good features and eliminate or disguise your bad ones.
Getting back to your hair, are you satisfied with the way your hair is? Is the style current? Does your haircut fit your image? One simple suggestion to someone not satisfied with their hair is to look around at other men. Look at some of the men that are always around beautiful women. Notice what types of hair styles they are wearing. Also, you might look through magazines such as GQ, Playboy, or any other magazine that shows the current hairstyles. Watch current TV shows like LA Law, soap operas, and TV shows that deal with man/woman relationships. Another good way to find out what some alternative hair styles are is to talk to women. Ask them what kinds of hairstyles they like on a man or that they would like on you. Ask several people, both men and women, what they think about the way you wear your hair. Get many opinions. Try to stay with your age group or the age group of the women you would like to be dating. The age group is important because, if you’re trying to pick up a twenty-three year old woman, you’re not going to wear a hairstyle that a sixty year old man might have (unless, of course, you’re stinking rich). Your hair is an important part of the package. When I refer to “the package,” I mean that each part of you is a component. When all of your components are analyzed, assembled and fine tuned, the
package will be complete and the new and improved “you” will be ready. Find a hair style that you will be satisfied with. Either comb it in a different way or leave it the way it is. Just be conscious about your “look” and be aware of neatness. Don’t select a different hair style that you might not be comfortable with just because someone else thinks it will improve your look. Get a style that you’ll be satisfied with and that makes you comfortable. Keep your individuality. The next component is your face. In a recent study I conducted, I asked hundreds of woman: What is the first part of a man’s anatomy they look at? The most popular answer was the butt. The second most popular answer was the face. You may think that there’s nothing that you can do about this part of your anatomy, but there is. First of all, let’s look at your color. If you are Caucasian, are you fair skinned? Are you average or medium? Is your skin dry? Oily? If you are Latin or African American, then some of these tips may not apply to you (especially the tanning). Use the tips that apply to you.
Makeup is not just for women. It’s true. If the right type of makeup is used, it can work in your favor. When I refer to makeup, I don’t mean eye shadows or lip liners and such. One of the types of makeup that I’m referring to is a makeup stick called “Erase” by Max Factor. This makeup comes in a lipstick-type applicator. Erase is used to help hide zits, scars, and minor imperfections on your face. Erase can be purchased at most places that sell makeup. It comes in a variety of different shades: natural, natural tan, and several others. Make sure you choose the correct skin tone so that it blends in with your pigmentation. Many men and women in the movie business use this product. There are also types of makeup that can help hide shiny or oily skin. This makeup is called solid powder blush and is applied with a brush. This technique is also widely used in the movie and television business. You probably won’t need to use this unless your skin is really oily. To help reduce blemishes, prevent problems from oily skin, cold sores and greasy hair, change your sheets and pillow cases every other day. This will help you to stay clean and cut down on re-infecting yourself, allowing you to clear up these problems. Consult your physician for further suggestions. I recommend that, if you do need to use makeup, don’t overdo it. Usually, if you blend it in to your natural skin color without using too much, no one will ever know you have it on.
If you need more information on various makeups, consult your local department store’s cosmetologist. She will be happy to help you. This might be a useful anecdote to help expand your comfort zone. A friend of mine was with me when we passed by a cosmetic counter in a fashionable department store. He couldn’t believe all the attention he got when we stopped in front of the counter, where a “fine looking lady clerk” stood. I suggested he talk to her about the dark circles under his eyes. She immediately had a few makeup samples for him to try. Before he knew it, she and a friend were going to join us for cocktails after they got off work. Now every once in a while, he’ll ask if I feel like checking out the cosmetics department whenever we pass a mall! Just for your information, dark circles under your eyes can indicate one of many things: heredity, sometimes lack of sleep, or more commonly, a sinus condition. Check with your doctor about this. When dry skin is a problem, use a moisturizer. Moisturizing lotions can give the face a healthier look, when used over a period of time. Vaseline Intensive Care, Lubriderm and many others can be used. For wrinkled skin, try some types of the products on the market that can temporarily control your wrinkles. Your cosmetologist can help you find what you need.
Our next subject is whether or not to wear eyeglasses. So, you wear glasses, you’re thin, and you are bald. I can almost predict right now that women are probably not beating down your door. My initial suggestion is to get rid of the glasses and get contact lenses or corrective surgery. If neither of these options are available to you (and you positively must wear glasses), get the darker or polarized lenses. For example, look at comedian, Richard Belzer. He’s got a slender build and, in my opinion, he’s not particularly great looking to most people’s standards. However, his dark lens glasses actually compliment his face. He’s obviously doing something right. After all, he’s married to one of the most beautiful women on the planet. I recently conducted a survey in which I asked 70 women in Los Angeles, 70 women in New York and 70 women in Detroit what their views were on men that wear glasses. (Some of these women wore glasses and some did not.) I came up with some interesting reactions. In all three cities polled, approximately 40 out of 70 women preferred men without glasses. I also asked: If a man was forced to wear glasses, what style would be the most desirable? Approximately 45 out of 70 thought that the rounded type looked best. The others liked various designer and tinted types. It seemed that women who liked men in glasses were the intellectual or business-oriented women.
My personal observation is that if you are built with a big frame or are the muscular type, glasses seem to have become more acceptable to a majority of women I know. Designer frames, such as those by Armani, Ray Ban and Gucci, Prada, have included some new and unique styles. Check the current men’s fashion magazines. I suggest that, if you positively must wear glasses, make sure they fit the image that you want. I’m talking about the new image that you want to project for yourself. After all, we are talking about your face. Don’t be afraid to spend the extra money for the designer frames. Sooner or later they will pay for themselves. While we are still focusing on the face, let’s talk about facial hair: beards, mustaches and sideburns. I sent a girlfriend of mine to survey the situation. She polled a total of 200 women in New York and Los Angeles. The basic question was: Do women like or dislike facial hair on men? Out of the 100 women surveyed in New York, 66 of them preferred men without facial hair. In Los Angeles, 70 out of 100 preferred men without any facial hair. She found that women who did like facial hair liked the sideburns or mustache. Most of the women polled were disgusted by beards of any kind. These women ranged in age from 21 to 36 years.
NOTE: Depending on the part of the country that you live in, beards and mustaches could be more acceptable. For instance, in Alaska, more women may like men with facial hair than not. Personally, I don’t like any type of facial hair on me. But, some women like the rugged type, the “Grizzly Adams look.” I’ve found that, when it comes to mustaches, women either love them or hate them. Sideburns seem to have made a comeback in the nineties. They look good on certain people, but it’s not my style. Remember, it’s important to be aware of your own style and individuality. Your teeth are very important. Women really like a man with good, straight, clean teeth. Rule Number One: NEVER forget to brush your teeth. Out of all the comments from women regarding “disgusting things about men,” not brushing their teeth ranks near the top of their list. If you must, carry a spare toothbrush in your car. Remember, never forget to brush, and don’t forget to floss. Most of you already know these things. I just want to reinforce the details that most worthwhile and beautiful women look for in men. What if you don’t have straight teeth or your teeth are discolored? If you have crooked teeth and cannot afford braces, you might ask your dentist for other options, such as filing your teeth or extractions. If you have no other alternative, braces can usually correct the problem. (Ask your dentist about “invisible” braces.) 78
If your teeth are discolored, you have three options. The first is to have your teeth bleached. A dentist can perform this procedure for you or you can purchase a product that can be used at home. Bleaching will make your teeth a lot whiter and brighter. The disadvantage of using this procedure is that it doesn’t offer a permanent solution to the problem because eventually it will wear off. Also, it is said to make your teeth brittle. Your other option is having your teeth bonded or veneered. This procedure can also be done by your dentist. In tooth bonding (or veneering), a white porcelain material is affixed to the teeth, covering the old surface. I have seen some very impressive bonding jobs—so good that, if people hadn’t told me they had this procedure done, I wouldn’t have known it. Make sure that you have a good dentist who is very familiar with this procedure, because teeth are very important. The third option is to have your teeth capped. This is usually a very expensive procedure. Consult your dentist for other possible options. Finishing up on the face, don’t forget to trim your nose hairs occasionally. Most women get very disgusted when they see hair (or other things) hanging from a man’s nose. So, don’t let this happen to you. Women are always turned on by a man who has a healthy tan. A tan seems to make a person look healthy and exotic. I personally think tanning is a compliment to your body’s definition. Most
dermatologists do not recommend tanning—especially if you’re fair skinned. My dermatologist looks at it this way: if you are going to expose yourself to the sun, then use caution and care. He suggests that you should use sun screen and keep your skin moist. When I don’t have time to lie outside in the sun, I sometimes use a tanning salon. Tanning salons are an alternative to the beach or the pool. I also use tanning accelerators. (An accelerator is a solution that is applied to your skin before tanning.) Using an accelerator can hasten the time it takes you to acquire a deep, dark tan— sometimes to as little as a week. I have also met several beautiful women in tanning salons, not only the women that work at them, but their clients as well. Many women such as actresses, body-builders, strippers and dancers use tanning salons for their line of work (where looking good is their business). Another option for tanning, as a last resort, is a cream called “QT.” This is a substance that is applied to the skin and will immediately give you the illusion of having a tan. I really don’t recommend this technique. However, if you find that the sun damages your skin too much, and you still want a tan, then this is an option for you. Other products like sunless tanning lotions are also available.
One other technique is to use tanning pills. These pills are usually found at your local health food store and contain the vitamin, beta carotene. This vitamin, if taken consistently, causes your skin to tint into sort of an orange/brown color, thus simulating a tan. After shaving, showering, blow drying your hair, or applying the appropriate mousses and/or gels to your hair, you are now ready to select the cologne for the evening. Women and cologne manufacturers are very aware of the fact that smelling good is very sexy. Women love a sexy smelling man. I’ve had women tell me that they have had orgasms over the way I smell. (These particular women may have been a little hornier than the average woman, but what the hell.) Listen, gentlemen, the way you smell to a woman can mean the difference between getting lucky or not. So by all means, choose the right cologne. There are several cheap colognes out on the market. For your sake, try to stay away from the cheap karate crap or bargain musk. Most worthwhile women are insulted by this garbage. And, quite frankly, I’ve smelled better paint thinners. Use the good stuff: Paco Rabanne, Fahrenheit for Men, Perry Ellis, Halston, New West. And, if you don’t like any of those scents, there are plenty more available at the fine department stores everywhere. Also, do what I do—always approach the finest women you see and ask: “What’s your favorite cologne on a 81
man?” Other references on cologne can be found in Playboy and GQ magazine. The most important thing is that you smell good. I use several different types of cologne and I create some of my own mixtures by combining two or three together. One tip: don’t overdo it! Just because you bought a bottle, doesn’t mean that you must wear the whole damn thing at one time. In the past, some women have almost asphyxiated me by drenching themselves with perfume. (If you come across a woman doing this, she may have good reasons to do this. Believe me, you don’t want to know why.) Next comes how you dress. This may make the difference in whether or not the woman will even notice you. You definitely want her to notice you, right? Well, homeboy, this is where the boys are separated from the men. If it’s a fine woman that you’re after, you had better be ready for her—I mean dressed to kill! I mean deadlier than a hit man! The way you dress should be taken very seriously. Dress appropriately for the occasion. If you were to attend a wedding, then you probably wouldn’t wear blue jeans, would you? Or, if you were going to the tractor pull contest, you probably wouldn’t wear a tuxedo. My suggestion is this: Take the time and spend an entire day looking in clothing stores and talking to the experts. If your city has a fashion district like Los Angeles, you would start off on 82
Melrose Avenue. If you don’t have a fashion district, go to your local malls or major department stores. Should you live in a rural area, try the various men’s catalogs. If you live in Seattle, you may want to go to the Salvation Army for the popular “grunge look.” You don’t have to buy anything at this point. What you want to do is to try to establish an image for yourself. Go into these stores and try things on. See what looks the best on you. Get some feedback from other people in the store. Ask their opinion on how certain clothes look on you. Women, especially, are always up on the latest fashions and they know what the fashion-minded men are wearing. They know what they like their men to wear. Ultimately, it’s you who will be wearing these clothes, so make sure that you’re comfortable with whatever you purchase. Don’t try to look like someone you’re not; just find clothes that blend in with your own personality and image. If you don’t feel good about the way you look, you will reflect those feelings to others by being uptight, etc. So feel comfortable and secure with the way that you dress yourself. Remember; don’t try to act like the Mr. Furley character on the TV show, “Three’s Company.” At least not until you’re in his shoes. How you dress yourself can be a signal to women for how aggressive you might be in bed. For instance, if you went out to a nightclub dressed up like a businessman in your boring,
conservative suit, most women probably wouldn’t get too excited. On the other hand, if you went into that same club dressed in a pair of loose-fitting jeans, a sport coat and a T-shirt, women would perceive you as being a bit more adventurous. When wearing ties on a date, or when you’re out scouting for babes, try to wear it loosely fitted. This helps give the impression that you’re more relaxed. When selecting a tie for a night on the town, pick one that might be a bit different from the others— maybe one that’s a little on the outrageous side (one that could spark up a conversation). I have used this technique before. It started out as kind of a joke one night. I wore this tie that had a picture of buildings on it (like a cityscape). I couldn’t believe how many women came up to me that night. It was like a magnet. Women felt that they just had to come up to me and ask me where I got it or comment on it. What look turns women on? Good question. What better way to find out than to ask several beautiful women. In this survey, two of my friends and I went out in the Los Angeles area. We went to shopping malls, night clubs, and in the downtown district. Altogether, we probably surveyed about five hundred women (and got two hundred and fifty phone numbers). Our conclusion was that the majority of women felt that they preferred men who dressed casual and neat, not sloppy. Some of the women said they
liked men with baggy fitting jeans and other types of casual pants. Most of the women agreed that leather jackets on men were very sexy. One negative note: a lot of the women said they didn’t like a man with gold chains hanging off him or men that wear too much jewelry. Bottom line, gents: The women seem to want the more casually dressed men with your basic sport coat or leather jacket, jeans or casual pants, T-shirt or collar type shirt. Stay with the relaxed look and combine your own style and I’m sure it will work for you.
6. PETER NORTH’S TIPS All women are different. When some women look for a man, they might want a father figure. Some want the intellectual type. Others want someone that looks like James Woods. You could be the biggest stud on the planet, but if you don’t fit the image she’s looking for, then you lose. What I’m saying is that there is someone for everyone, but women usually have an image of the type of man they are looking for. Some women are more specific than others. My point is, just because a woman doesn’t respond to you when you send her a drink or give her a smile or drop that clever line, it might be that you’re simply not what she’s looking for. So when this happens, just go on to the next one. Stop wasting your time dwelling on what you think might be wrong with you. Don’t always assume that, if you had only approached her differently or did this or that, that it would have worked out differently. Most of the women out there ultimately want a man who gives them a sense of security. This security could come in the form of meeting a man with a lot of money, or a man that takes control, or perhaps a man that is very confident with himself, or 86
has a great sense of humor. Most women can sense these things almost immediately when they initially meet a man. Let’s talk a little about the “Turn Offs”. These are things that clearly turn women off to certain men. Women I’ve surveyed have told me about the things that turn them off the most about men. •
One of the most popular answers was: when a man talks about himself too much. A majority of the women really seemed to dislike this type of man. This tells the women that these men are very insecure with themselves.
Another major turn off is a man who is a cheapskate, or who is constantly complaining about spending his money.
Men who talk negatively about others, complain about things, and talk down to people. This also breeds insecurity as well as signaling a bad upbringing.
Men who are sloppy dressers also rank high on the turn off list.
Of course, bad breath, un brushed teeth, and body odor, were obviously at the top of the list.
Women told me that one of the biggest turn offs of all time is a man who belches and/or farts, either in public or private captivity. (This shows your woman that you are not only a total pig, but that you have no class whatsoever.)
Another turn off is when a man compares his previous relationships to the woman that he has just met.
Last but not least, most decent women can’t stand men who use profane language.
The only other tip I can give here is, if you care at all about the woman you’re with, use your manners and a little common sense. Most women really do appreciate this and it will likely pay off when you finally end up in her bedroom. Always be a good listener Listening to a woman can be very much to your advantage. Find out what she likes and dislikes. Try to fill up your mind with her thoughts as she speaks. Most women are very impressed by a man who cares enough to remember what she’s said. Plus, you can start to gear up some of your impending strategies for deciding where to take her or how you can surprise her with something that she had no idea you remembered.
Where do you take your woman for a first date? Good question. There are several possibilities for this situation. First of all, you must determine a couple of things: (A)
How much do you care about this woman?
Is this the type of woman that many not have required much effort to get her to go out with you? Do you predict any future possibilities with you and this woman? Or maybe you’re just looking for a one-night stand. Just determine what exactly your objective is with her. Some of you are probably saying to yourself, how the hell am I supposed to be able to determine how much I’m going to like her, if I barely even know her? Well, look at it this way: You were attracted to her for some reason; try to figure out what it was and put some type of value on it. For instance, if all you think that you want is a quick, one-night stand, then you might just take her out to an average bar for a drink, then back to your place (or her place). Of course, most every man probably wishes that it was this easy all the time. But, if you’re going for the cream of the crop (or an above-average woman), then you probably should take a little bit more time with her before jumping her bones.
How much money do I have to spend?
Here again, if you’re looking at a one-night stand, then you’re probably not going to spend a fortune. If you think she is the materialistic type and wants the best of everything, be prepared if you want to meet her expectations. After you’ve determined these two things, let’s look at some of the possibilities. Let’s say the woman you selected is someone you would like to continue to see (at least at this point), and you don’t have a lot of cash to spend. First, try to find out a few of her interests. What does she like to do on dates? Women usually like to have a chance to talk and get a feel for what your personality is like. Don’t panic. Some men and women get so tied up in worrying about whether or not someone will like them that it can sometimes ruin the entire date. Just relax. You can ease the “first date tension” by taking her to the right place. Most towns of at least intermediate size have a comedy club. If there isn’t one in your town, then find out where the closest one is. The cost is not much, typically about $8.00 to $12.00 per person. Usually there is also a two drink minimum per person. Each area is different, but I’ve found that this is the average.
Taking her to a comedy club will tell you a lot about her sense of humor. This will tell you a great deal about her personality. Notice which jokes she laughs at. Maybe she finds that the sarcastic jokes are funnier than the others. Not only does the atmosphere of a comedy club tell you about her sense of humor, but it’s a very relaxed, easygoing, setting for the both of you to get to know each other. This is definitely one of my top choices for where to take a woman on the first date. Another place to take a woman for a first date is an amusement park. These are usually found in or near most towns. If there isn’t one in your town, find out where the closest one is, even if you have to drive a long distance. By amusement park, I mean a place that has a roller coaster and other rides, or else a “fun park” that has water or snow slides. This is another kind of environment that will take the off the pressure of first date jitters. The local roller skating or ice skating rink is always a possibility. It’s cheap and fun if you’re into this type of thing. With the popularity of the new in-line skates, you may be pleasantly surprised to find that she owns a pair. This is another nonthreatening atmosphere, where the edge or tension is somewhat relieved when you are on that first date. You could also take her horseback riding through the mountains or the plains or the “swamp,” depending on where you live. Take 91
along a bottle of wine or champagne and surprise her while out riding. This one has worked for me on several occasions. (Don’t EVER buy the cheap sparkling wine or champagne) Just try to remember this: The atmosphere that you put yourself in on a first date could very well determine how far you’ll get with that woman in the future. No matter where you go, keep this in mind. Take her to a fun place or a place that doesn’t make her feel obligated or threatened in any way. And remember these three things: relax, have fun, and be yourself. Trivia Physically speaking, what things attract women to men? One hundred women were asked the question: “What is the first thing that attracts you in a man’s looks?” The answers were quite interesting. The most common answer was the man’s butt. The second most popular answer was a man’s eyes. And the third was a man’s build and overall appearance. This may be useful for you to know, just as general information. The more you know, the better your advantage is over other men. So when working out at the gym, remember: Work those gluteus muscles!
Here’s another tip when “honing in” on a woman. Let’s say that you go to the same grocery store just about the same time, twice a week, to get your fruit and vegetables. Just about every time you go in there, you see the same beautiful blonde shopping. One of my strategies for this type of situation would be to take it slow. The fist time you approach her, you might ask her to recommend a certain spice to use for your spaghetti or chili. Then the second time you run into her, you might ask what vegetables to use to compliment a certain dish, or what wine would go with a certain dish. The third time you see her, ask her if she’d like to join you for dinner; you’re making your “secret veal recipe.” Or you might tell her that the spices she recommended turned out to be perfect when you blended them with your existing recipe. Tell her you’d love to make it for her. Try to be sincere about this, even though you may not be a great cook. Tell her to bring the Tasters Choice. Try to be considerate of her feelings. Usually, women have more sensitive feelings than men do, so try to keep this in mind as much as possible. For example, when greeting her at anytime, give her a little hug and tell her that it’s good to see her. Women like that. Another tip that I can’t stress enough is: Don’t ever talk about your past relationships (or your ex-wife) on the first date or early in a new relationship. This will surely bring things to a halt before they even get started.
Keep your conversations in an upbeat mode, keeping things positive. Make her feel that nothing else matters to you but her. For example, if you’ve got a wooden leg, or a glass eye, you probably wouldn’t tell her on the first date. Wait until the timing is right. Keep the unusual things for later, or after you’ve really gotten to know her. Try to stay away from subjects like abortion and politics on the first few dates. Try to be aware of her reactions when you are talking to her. This allows you to determine some of her likes and dislikes. Hold on loosely Once you have gotten the woman you want, you must never be too possessive of her. Almost all women hate that possessiveness BS, and personally I do, too. If you really do like this woman and plan to keep her, you must “hold on loosely,” and by all means, give her the space that she needs. Again, the most valuable tip I can give is this: JUST BE YOURSELF. Relax and have a good time. Remember, you only “go around” once on this crazy planet, so live life to its fullest.
7. PLACES TO MEET WOMEN Get to know your environment. If you’re looking for a wealthy and sophisticated woman, then you’re probably not going to find her by looking on skid row or picking through a dumpster. You probably have some type of mental picture of what type of woman you’re looking for. Try to categorize her in the sense that would put her in similar places or situations that you might find yourself in. In other words, if you want a woman that keeps in shape, then go to the gym to find her. The night clubs aren’t always the best places to meet women. As a matter of fact, it really isn’t one of my top suggestions at all. The direction that I have taken in recent years is to join different types of classes. You can take classes in such things as: •
Self Defense, Karate, Judo
Acting or Drama
Art or Sculpture
I’ve found that joining these cultural types of classes can be both educational and fun. And they’re a great way to meet women. Some of these classes are free, others may cost money. Regardless, it’s well worth your while. Remember: Try to stick with the classes where the women outnumber the men. You can usually find these kinds of classes at your local community college or at private schools. The private schools are usually more expensive. Some of the physically-oriented classes may be offered by your own gym or health club. The aerobic classes are a prime example of a place where women outnumber the men. Aerobics classes are also a great way to keep yourself toned as an alternative to some of the weight training exercises. (Mix it up, work the weights one day and work on aerobics the next.) Maybe taking classes isn’t your style. Then join some type of team: softball, baseball, bowling, soccer, etc. Or perhaps you’re not cut out for intense physical wear. Volunteer yourself to coach some type of team (something you have experience in) such as football, basketball, or hockey. There are always sports groupies
that hang around these kinds of sports, no matter how young or how old the players are. Also remember that there are lots of single moms out there. Once the word gets out that you’re single, look out! An example of this “single mom thing” happened to a friend of mine. He had recently divorced his wife. They had one child from the marriage. Two days during the week, the father would drop off and pick up the child at the day care facility. The other days the mother would pick up the child. A couple months went by and some of the women at the day care center would ask him about the arrangements that he and his ex-wife had. He explained that they had recently finalized the divorce and that they were sharing custody of the child. That was all it took—getting out the word that he was single. My friend didn’t even realize what happened until he went out with two or three of the single moms. He told me that some of these women would even ask the girls at the day care if they could drop some hints to ask them out on dates. You see, in some situations, you have to put out the word that you are, in fact, very single. Some of the other examples of possibilities to meet women are: Coed gyms This goes without saying. What better place to find a woman who cares about her looks? Most gyms today are coed. Just make sure that the one you join has lots of women. 97
The perfume counter at major department stores Have you really looked at some of the women who work in the cosmetics department of some of these stores? A majority of the ones I’ve seen are positively beautiful. It’s part of their job—to look beautiful. Simply approach them when they don’t seem to be busy and say something like this: “It’s my sister’s birthday and I was wondering if you might have any suggestions for a gift?” Then compliment her on how nice she smells or tell her how much you like her earrings. Then, maybe come back the next day and ask her for a date. Grocery stores This is where I do most of my shopping for food and women. Grocery stores are an example of a “non-threatening” atmosphere. Women in grocery stores don’t usually expect to be hit on. Be tactful in your approach. Keep your conversations oriented toward cooking and ask her advice on certain recipes. This type of conversation will definitely help break the ice. Museums This is also a great place to meet women. Museums are very popular with the ladies, especially women that are looking for the upper class type man, a man who appreciates the historical and educational things in life.
Tanning salons You can always meet beautiful women at tanning salons. Some of the women who use these places are models or dancers. Great success stories can be told here. Seminars Attend special interest seminars that involve more women than men. Check your local newspaper for a seminar that might fit this category. The malls A virtual cavalcade of women, the mall is always very heavily populated with women of all shapes and sizes. Simply ask a pretty woman for directions to a particular store. You can also ask her for advice on what would be a good gift for your sister. Be creative with your approach. Major department stores Women frequent the department stores a lot more often than men do. This is an excellent place to meet all sorts of women. In fact, if you’ve got the time and energy and are the adventurous type, get a part-time job there. Simply approach the woman that you’d like to meet and tell her that she looks like she has the same taste in clothing as your sister. Tell her that you are looking to buy a dress for your sister’s birthday. Ask her if she could help you pick
something out. I have a friend that has tried this technique before and he’s actually gotten women to try dresses on for him. Art galleries I have met several women in art galleries. Simply glance over at the painting that she’s admiring and make a few comments on it. For instance, tell her you like the color combinations that the painter uses or that you like the artist’s style. Enrolling in a bartenders school Another great idea on where to meet lots of women was passed on by a good friend of mine, who’s not the most attractive looking man in the world. He enrolled himself in a Bartenders School for training as a bartender. He did this even though he didn’t need a job. He thought it would be a great way to meet women. Not only did he meet women at the Bartenders School, he ended up getting a part time job at one of the local bars and now he introduces me to women. Golf lessons If you like golf, go to the local golf courses and ask the instructors there what the ratio is of men to women. The majority of the time you will find there are far more women taking lessons than men, especially during the weekdays.
Companion columns Newspapers and local magazines have “900” numbers set up for people to place or respond to ads. If you place the ad, it’s usually free. However, to retrieve your responses, you may have to call a “900” number. To respond to a listing is even easier. All you do is dial the phone number and the listing’s extension, leave a message and pay your phone bill. When she returns you call, you should talk briefly and set up a rendezvous in a public place. Why a public place? Because you can get a visual on her physical appearance before you commit yourself to a “face-to-face.” (Some people can be deceiving when describing themselves over the phone or with touched up photos.) This way you can escape, if necessary, without wasting too much time if you see that she’s not suitable for you. Last but not least, dating services Dating services aren’t for everyone. But, if you need something to get you going, to get you out of a rut and back into the swing of things, then this could be an option for you. Unfortunately, these services aren’t free…and they’re not cheap, especially for men. If you do decide to go this route, make sure to check the lists of dateable women. Sometimes these services have a large selection of women; however, they may all be quite a bit older than you’re looking for.
The main thing to keep in mind is that you just need to get out there. Then you will find beautiful women everywhere. So figure out your strategy. Then, you make the first move.
8. TECHNIQUES First of all, you need a plan or a strategy before you can determine which direction you’d like to be headed. Get out your list of things that you are looking for in a woman. Then summarize the type of woman you want. Again, I will use this example: If it’s a woman who likes to keep herself in shape, then you’ll probably have the best chances and selection at a health club. Once you’ve made your determination of what type of woman you’re looking for, put yourself in the appropriate atmosphere: health club, grocery store, department store, etc. Next, you must initiate the conversation. If you wait for her to say something first, it may never happen. So, I suggest that you make the first move. What you say will sometimes depend on where you are. If you are in the grocery store (we’ve talked a little about that), the conversation might start out with which type of potatoes should you use with this T-bone steak, or what kind of seasonings will work best for this chicken?
Openers at the health club may go something like this: Ask her: “How did you get your thigh muscles toned so well…in aerobics? I’ve been thinking about taking an aerobics class. Which one do you think I should start with?” This will definitely get her talking. Remember this when you can’t think of anything to say: Just start asking simple questions. These could be about anything, such as the weather, the time of day, where she bought something, what she does for jock itch (just kidding), etc. Most questions require some type of answer. Obviously this is one of the best ways to get her talking. Another way to initiate a conversation is to simply say, “Hi, how’s your day going?” Give her a compliment on how nice her clothes are, or that you like her shoes, etc. Using the cliché My theory on clichés is that most women still respond to them (if tactfully delivered, of course). Remember the old cliché: Haven’t I seen you somewhere before? Instead, you might say: “Didn’t I marry you somewhere before?” Women like it when men are creative and humorous. I have a friend that uses clichés and is constantly having success meeting women. The only thing he does differently is that he substitutes some of the words from the standard phrase with his own. Instead of, “We could make 104
beautiful music together,” he would say, “We could make beautiful pasta together.” Believe it or not, he picked up a very beautiful woman with that very line. (I was there.) When using a cliché, spice it up with your own imagination. Don’t be boring I’ve sat and watched some of the most “glamorous” people in Hollywood carry on the most dull, boring and pathetic lives that I’ve ever witnessed. Some of them are so caught up in talking about themselves that they don’t know the first thing about having fun. These are people who drive Ferraris, have millions of dollars, and act as if they are the talk of the town. Unfortunately, having all the money in the world won’t do you any good if you’re a dull, boring putz. They never seem to live life happily (or to its fullest). To most of the women I know, boring people, no matter how rich they are, are a turn off. Personally, these people bore the hell out of me. Eventually, everyone gets tired of boring people (except other boring people, of course). I’ve found that taking a woman to lunch is a somewhat innocent, non-threatening way of gradually working your way up to spending more time with her. Conversation pieces Wearing conversation pieces (jewelry, etc.), can be a magnet for women to notice you. Occasionally, I’ll wear a pin on the lapel of 105
my sport coat, one of several different kinds, such as a diamond studded star, a gold and onyx bolt of lightning, a silver and diamond machine gun. Of course, you don’t have to go out and spend a fortune on the real thing. The point is, give her a reason to come to you. If she sees this diamond glaring in her eye across the room, then this could be just the added edge that you need to meet her. Conversation pieces can also come in the form of a tie, a pair of lizard boots, or a hat. Or, it could be a different category such as a car or a boat. Subtle persistence This is one of my favorite techniques. By subtle persistence, I mean that, if you are in a singles bar and women are walking by you, act like you’re not paying attention to them. Obviously your basic instinct is to look at a beautiful woman. Well, this is perfectly natural. But, that’s just what most women expect you to do. You shouldn’t conform to what everyone else is doing. Pretending not to pay attention to her is one technique that has worked for my friends and me. Women seem to like this subtle approach. So don’t come off like a vulture. Set yourself apart from the other dribbling slobs. Just kick back and let her eyeball you. If she’s interested in you, then I’m sure that sometime during the evening
she will try to cross paths with you. When she does, smile at her and ask to buy her a drink. When most women go out to the clubs, their idea of having fun is dancing and partying with their girlfriends. They, like anybody else, want to escape from the realities of life and get away from the daily pressures. So be subtle and relaxed when approaching these beauties. Personally, I highly recommend this approach if you think that this may be your dream girl. Throwing out signals is very important Probably the most simple signal to use is your smile (Or in Bruce Willis’ case—the smirk). The smile can be very effective when used at the right time. When she returns the smile, you’ve made the initial move. The second move would then be to go over and say hello and give her a compliment of some sort. Other types of signal can come in the form of using body language. An obvious gesture is to wink at her, but the only time that I might use the wink is when I’ve seen the woman before and I know that I’ll probably see her again (possibly at the grocery store). So when either of us is leaving, I might make some casual eye contact, and give her a brief wink and smile. The next time I see her, she might be a little more responsive toward me and she’ll probably get the hint that I’m interested in her.
Some other obvious body language signals may come in the form of licking your lips, blowing her a kiss, or rolling up you shirt sleeves. (Rolling up your shirt sleeves is supposed to imply that you’re ready for some action, like a rooster that ruffles his feathers.) Playing the odds Try this: Each day, approach a woman and ask her for a date, or at least try to let her know that you exist. Don’t be discouraged if you get turned down a few times. Play the odds. No matter who you are, this technique always seems to work. Compliment her I don’t care who she is or where she comes from, all women love compliments. This is especially true if the compliment that you give her sounds sincere. “That’s a nice dress, babe.” “Your hair looks great tonight.” “You smell good enough to eat.” Use your imagination, but try to be as honest as possible. When you’re out driving… This happens to me almost every day: I’m out driving in my car, I glance over to the car next to me, and there she is, another beautiful woman. How does one approach such a situation. Well, one way is to motion for her to roll down her window. Then, ask her for a direction to a bar that you know is close by. Next, thank her and ask her if she’d like to join you there for a drink. My success rate with this one is about 50%. 108
Here is another technique that has worked well for a friend of mine. He bought one of those devices that is similar to a flip chart with a couple of suction cups that go on the car window, and a remote switch. This thing spells out certain phrases and allows you to display them from the car window. When you are stuck in traffic, either on the freeway or at a traffic light, just use a phrase that she can answer with either ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ For example, “I’m headed to happy hour, why don’t you join me?” This technique may not be for everybody, but if you want to take advantage of every opportunity, give it a try. Just a word of caution on picking up women that are driving in cars. On a couple of different occasions, the women that looked excellent while seated in the car, certainly looked different when they stepped out. That pretty little innocent face was supported by a cross between a gorilla and a giant bowling pin. Just look as closely as you can, or take a chance. When you finally do find your woman, take an interest in some of the things she finds interesting. No, I’m not talking about wearing a dress or going to a baby shower. For instance, if she’s interested in art, keep an eye open for art exhibits. Check your local newspaper or call the art galleries in your area for information. She may be interested in horses. If so, then find out where and when the next equestrian event is. Women
really appreciate this kind of consideration. And who knows, you might start to like some of these things. Give her the space she needs Try not to interfere with any of her usual everyday activities. Try to respect her space. For instance, if she works out at the health club every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, then be considerate of her schedule. Encourage her to do things on her own or with her friends. Don’t ever give her that tied-down feeling. If you want to lose a beautiful woman real fast, all you have to do is give her that “smothered” feeling and she’ll be out the door. Buy her things This is a sure fire way to show her that you like her. You don’t have to spend a fortune. Sometimes just a flower or a box of her favorite candy will do. Women love surprises, no matter how small they are. Take her places One of women’s biggest complaints about being in a relationship is that men don’t take them out often enough. Mix it up a bit. One night you can take her to the movies; the next time, take her out dancing. Have her bring some of her friends along. Most women like it when you ask them to include their friends. If you don’t have a big budget for all this gallivanting, than just take her to the beach for a walk, or a drive to the mountains, or up to a nearby 110
lake. Consult your local newspaper for the “freebies” (the events around your town that don’t cost anything). There’s always something happening somewhere, so keep informed. Strength in numbers The next time you go out to a night club looking for women, take along a few of your friends. There’s something about the “strength in numbers” game. It seems to give everyone’s confidence a boost. Don’t forget Women like to be told how beautiful they look. So once in a while, let her know that you realize this—by telling her! All techniques require practice, so don’t expect miracles overnight. If you start to get discouraged, just remember this: Forget about the obstacles and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Worrying about rejection and all the other negatives is for the other guys—NOT YOU.
9. HEALTH TIPS SEXUALLY SPEAKING: Always try to urinate directly after having sex. This will help prevent (to a certain extent) some of the less severe communicable diseases. Preventative maintenance is the objective. Never have oral sex with a woman when her private parts smell like a dumpster. When first having sex with your woman, always try to do a visual on her private parts before you indulge. You can never tell these days and you can never be too careful. I try to use a condom as often as possible. Unfortunately, in my business, I can’t always do this. I highly recommend using them. There are several different types: studded, ribbed, French ticklers, lambskin, and latex. Some women don’t like condoms. Use your
judgment. When using lubricants with a condom, check to be sure the lubricant will not affect or harm the integrity of the condom. There are also various different types of disinfectant lubricants available today. Ask your doctor for his advice on whether or not these products could be effective for you. I’ve used these lubricants on occasion for women that want anal sex. Try to get regular physical checkups from your doctor. Get a periodic AIDS test. (I get tested for AIDS twice a month.) Consult your doctor for the needed frequency of these tests. Also, get the recommendation of a competent laboratory for the results (there are a lot of misdiagnosed cases each month). Make sure that your doctor knows that you are very sexually active so he can check specifically for possible sexually transmitted diseases. I don’t want to scare you, but no matter how good she looks or smells, you never can tell just by looking at her, whether or not she’s got some sort of sexually transmitted disease. Until you are really settled in with a woman and feel really comfortable with her, I suggest that you use a condom. It’s better to be safe than sorry, especially when sorry can mean your life. The best health tip I can suggest is that you keep yourself in the best shape you can and eat well. See your doctor every six months 113
or so (whether you need to or not). If you have sex with multiple partners, then see your doctor more often to check for diseases. In general, just eat right, exercise, and practice good hygiene. Don’t wear someone else’s clothes. When you’re at the gym, use your own towel. While you’re working out at the gym, use a towel to protect yourself by placing it between you and the machine. If you have several girlfriends and they are having a lot of sex with others, try to be aware of their “outside” sexual activity. Again, I strongly suggest using a condom in this case.
10. LOVE MAKING TIPS Before you actually get down to the act of making love with a woman, you must try to make her want you just as much as you want her. This process requires what I call the “preliminary foreplay.” Preliminary foreplay is the caressing, licking and touching that you get into before you proceed to oral sex and actual sexual intercourse. Women can get turned on by being touched in the strangest places. I am not one to brag, but I have touched and licked many, many women in many, many places. It’s funny, but if you put your tongue in the right place, you can render a woman almost helpless or make her scream with passion and desire. It seems like no two women are the same. I have found that some women like to be licked on the back of their neck and other women like it on the back of their elbow or upper arm. Even holding a woman just right will help get her in the mood. Giving her a firm
hug with a casual kiss on the neck works great with some women. You simply get used to what each of your women like. I recently met a gorgeous brunette at the health club near where I live. When I took her out for the first time, I just couldn’t seem to find her “get her in the mood” spot. After twenty minutes or so, I was almost ready to give up and just start humping on her. Just then, I hit it. She let out a sign of relief as she told me I was sending a shiver up her spine. I was licking on the top of her left back shoulder with circular motions. That was her spot! So don’t give up so easily. Every woman has one. Sometimes though, if you are unable to locate it, you should back off. Her interest could change into annoyance, leaving her to believe that you just aren’t going to be able to fulfill her needs. If this is the case, she isn’t very likely to give you another chance! This is the difference between being a “gentleman” and “you’re rushing it, buddy!” Next, comes foreplay. There are several different types of foreplay that can be used to help heat up the period before the actual act of sexual inter-course. Some people are into whips and chains, some are into wearing handcuffs…the list can go on and on. The main thing to remember is that you must satisfy each other. I try new things all the time. Most women like a man who’s sexually adventurous. Even finding unusual places to have sex can be a form of foreplay. A simple foreplay technique, for use while in the 116
bedroom, is to stand together fully clothed. Hold and kiss each other. Massage her back and buttocks. Slowly, move your hand up to the back of her neck. Caress her neck while kissing her passionately, then move your hands back down to her buttocks, squeezing it. If she is wearing a dress, move your hands up under her dress and into her panties (if she’s wearing any). Slowly remove her panties, ease her down on the bed on her back and spread her legs apart. Sometimes I will start to lick at the inside of her knee, then move slowly down toward her pussy. Remember to take your time. Slowly work your way to her inner thigh, kissing and licking all the way to her inferno of love. Once you get to her vagina, don’t just stick your tongue in, tease her a little. Put your tongue all around the outside of it without actually touching the clitoris. (For those of you who aren’t familiar with the location of the clitoris, it’s located right at the top of her love mound.) Then, when it seems like she’s all but begging you to eat her, start to lick her clitoris slow and soft, then intensify it faster. Try to use the tip of your tongue. She’s probably almost “in heat” at this time, so you should continue sucking on her clitoris—lightly at first, then harder. At this point, you should help her remove her dress and your pants. When you’re both naked on the bed, you can move your penis 117
toward her mouth, where she’ll start to give you head. You can then either move into a sixty-nine position or watch her go down on you. This is only one example of the countless combinations of foreplay that you can try. Use your imagination and always try new things. If you think that they may help stimulate your imagination, there are guides and manuals that are available for different types of foreplay. Many of these guides are rather “formula,” making the whole effort seem sterile. To be a good lover, you need to improvise and add some humor. The main thing is to remember that, when you’re engaging in foreplay, keep it alive. My view on the situation is that, usually at the start of each relationship, both the man and the woman are very intrigued with each other’s bodies. Their sexual excitement is at its peak. As time goes on in the relationship, things can seem to fall into a routine— sexually speaking. When this starts to happen, you might want to look at some options: Go out and buy her some real sexy lingerie and give it to her as a surprise. I don’t know of any woman that wouldn’t love to get lingerie as a gift. The use of oils and creams for massaging each other can help stimulate some new possibilities for sex. 118
There are a number of various edible gels and lotions that can be applied to each other’s bodies—then licked or eaten off. Body paint is another interesting way to explore each other’s bodies’ one step farther. Dildos can add an interesting new element to a sexual downswing. Some women like the idea of a dildo or sex toys, some don’t. I suggest that you talk this over with your partner before you spend big money on a turbo-charged unit. Oral sex with ice cubes can be fun. Have your partner place a couple of ice cubes in her mouth while she gives you head. The same works for her. Just put some ice cubes or crushed ice in your mouth and start having oral sex with her. Put the ice in and out of her muff and around the clitoris. I suggest that you don’t surprise her with this one! You had better talk to her about it before you do it, because you could end up with a slightly crushed skull. There are a few different types of sex games out on the market. These are the spin the bottle or roll the dice type games. One such game entails drawing cards, which tell you what you have to do to the other person. For example, kiss them in an unusual place, etc. (You can usually find these kinds of games and unusual items at your local novelty or adult book store.)
I could go on and on about different ways to put more spark into your sex life, but all you have to do is to remember to “use your imagination.” If your imagination isn’t working, talk to others for ideas, or buy some sex manuals. As far as sexual positions go, there are literally hundreds of possibilities. Just about any sex position can be achieved if you’ve got good agility. There are books available on sexual positions. They recommend some of the most popular and widely used positions. This can be a good reference guide if you want to explore some new ideas. One of the sexual techniques that I like to use is having sexual intercourse in the doggie style position. Start with nice slow strokes, with about 3/4 penetration, gradually picking up the pace. When you’ve got her groaning a little, start to back off by slowly pushing it all the way in her. Then, very slowly draw it out. Next, just give her the tip with fast in and out motions. Then, give her everything you’ve got for a couple of minutes; then, slow it down again. This one drives women crazy. I call this the “tease her than slam her” technique. Another technique that I like utilizes the missionary position. You start by pumping her with full penetration, but at half speed. Then, pump inside of her in different directions. For example, instead of going straight up her vagina, just pump one stroke up inside of her 120
and the next stroke to the left and then to the right. Try it, she’ll like it! One technique that makes women go crazy for the “magician with a smaller magic wand,” is to lay your woman on her stomach with her legs spread wide enough for your unit to penetrate about an inch or so. The key here is to make sure her legs are close enough so you cannot enter her entirely—just the tip. Most of her sensitive areas are located where you will be stimulating, plus your weight against her rear moves the neglected top side of her womb into play. This will give her even more areas of contact. Be careful not to crush her or all your efforts will be in vain. Now, all you have to do is hang on with one hand and make sure your unit stays in play with the other while your lover gives you a rodeo ride! You won’t see this in the movies too often for two reasons: (1) the general public believes a man should have a big tool (which is hog shit), and (2) because it’s a very difficult position for the camera to shoot. Many people ask how and why I ejaculate so much cum. They have speculated that my loads are exaggerated by special effects, such as squirt guns filled with water and egg whites. This was relayed to me by Tammy, the lady who is president of the Peter North Fan Club. (By the way, Tammy is a real babe and kind of shy. I’m trying to get her to do a centerfold-style video.) Well…the reason is partially because of my diet. I’ve always eaten very
healthfully—and still do. A good consistent carbohydrate diet seems to improve the amount of semen that I can ejaculate. Lower body exercises also seem to help me hold back until the timing is right for the explosion. One tip that I can’t stress enough is: Always have proper lubrication when having intercourse. Sometimes a woman can be very horny but still not produce enough lubrication to make a go of it. There are a few good lubricants on the market; however, I can only recommend one called “Astroglide.” This stuff is unbelievable, allowing you to go for hours.
11. PETER NORTH’S ADVICE Look, gentlemen, life is too serious to take seriously. I don’t know which wise man said that, but remember it to your grave. Just relax. Live your life one day at a time and to its fullest. Let the other guy worry about stress and anxiety. Always remember this: Women are never free. There’s a cost for everything that’s worthwhile in life. The better the quality, the higher the cost. Remember the old saying, “You get what you pay for.” When I refer to “cost,” I don’t necessarily mean money. I mean it could be time, it could be effort, etc. If you haven’t gone out with a woman for a long time, try this. Approach a below-average type looking woman, a woman that may not get as much attention as some of the prettier women get. Try to compare yourself to her. (On a scale of one to 10, if you think you’re a 7, then she should be a 5.) This will help you ease into the dating scene. The more average looking she is, the less the pressure it puts on you. By pressure, I mean that usually the more
beautiful that the woman is, the more competition you have to deal with—and this creates pressure. You especially don’t need this kind of pressure when you’re just getting into the dating scene. After you get to know this woman, if you choose, you can simply tell her that you want to start dating other women. It’s called “moving up the ladder.” When thinking about getting laid, think about it in this way: Look at everything on an ultimate level. For example, evaluate it in this way—no man is better than another (each is considered equal). What matters is your attitude. We are all expendable and, ultimately, some day we all will die. So, you have to grit your teeth and go for the best that you can get. Instead of asking the average, ordinary, woman to dance, or to let you buy her a drink, ask the most beautiful woman in the bar. You’ll be surprised at how many will say “Yes.” On that note, I want to share a tip from a DJ friend of mine. I have yet to prove him wrong. He suggests that, if you like the night club scene, get there early, especially if you’re not a regular at the bar. This way you can ask the women that are there to dance before the energy of the club gets intense. Even if there aren’t any women you’d like to leave with, get up to dance. This is a trick that he learned from a hooker that used to come into his club. She said that she did it to get “floor exposure.” 124
It works because you are advertising some strong messages by doing this. If you dance with many women, others will look at you and think, “He must be a nice guy.” It also works because you are being seen with women. In this case, you don’t actually have to be dancing. Have you ever heard guys complaining about how the best women seem to be interested in them when they’re with other women, perhaps on a date? Out of respect for the women that they’re with; these guys don’t pursue the “best women.” This is admirable when you’re on a date, but in your situation, you don’t have the same obligations as those guys do. You didn’t bring an anchor and your objective at this time is only to be seen with women. As the night goes on, you will have developed a few friendships that allow you to make return visits throughout the evening. This way you move about socializing and dancing until you reach the babe you’d like to meet. By doing this, you’ve also developed a “perceived value” by women who have observed you. Women like men that appear to be wanted by others, and they like to be seen with these guys! Now that you are so damn popular, you dog, you must practice leaving acquaintances without implied obligations or rudeness. This takes practice, indeed, because you don’t want to get a lousy reputation before you deserve one! The one thing that you should always remember is that you must be patient. Don’t be tactless and mount the first woman that you see. Just kick back and scope out the situation before you move in
for the woman that you want. Carefully scan the area and pick out a few prospects. When some women start to get comfortable in a relationship, they start to let themselves go. They might put on weight, stop working out, or lose interest in the way they look. To help prevent this from happening, I suggest that you project an element of mystery in the relationship. For example, try to avoid telling her too much about yourself. Avoid telling her how much she means to you, even if you think she is the best woman on the planet. Sure, you can give her a compliment once in a while, but don’t overdo it. Most importantly, leave this “I love you” phrase for after the wedding. More often than not, when you mention the words “I love you” to a woman, she feels that she’s finally got you. So be very careful on your timing before deciding to utter those words. This isn’t true with every woman. But be careful about how you use that four-letter “L-word.” Play it cool hints •
Never repeat yourself when speaking, unless someone asks you to do so.
When entering a night club, don’t slobber over the first woman you see. Scope out the entire situation before making a move on a particular woman.
Never seem overly anxious about anything, anywhere.
No matter how bad things may seem, always stay relaxed. It does you absolutely no good to panic or worry.
Never scam on a woman that’s with her boyfriend. This shows an incredible amount of bad taste, and no class whatsoever. Should she make a pass at you, get her number discretely. In this situation, never give out your number. Some women get off by watching their boyfriends make ground hamburger out of your face.
Never ask a woman: “What’s your sign?” Never!
Try to avoid talking about yourself as much as possible. Take any of her questions and turn them around toward her because she might be trying to tell you what she wants to talk about.
Look, you were born into this world alone, and when you die, you leave it alone. Nobody is going to take you by the
hand and do things for you. Ultimately, you are the person that has to make it happen. So…do it! •
Don’t get caught in bed with a married woman.
Remember the famous old Clint Eastwood saying: “A man has got to know his limitations.” And, my last bit of advice: Don’t take it personally if she turns you down. When a woman turns you down, don’t even let it phase you. In fact, act like you couldn’t care less, smile and walk away. You might even throw her a compliment as you’re walking away; tell her that you like her dress or the way her hair looks. Don’t ever worry about hurting your ego. Again, remember this: There is someone for everybody—a woman for every man and a man for every woman. Statistically speaking, there are far more women on this planet than men. So, take your time and make sure that you find the right one (or two, or three). Have a great life!
Cover photo shoot in Newport Beach, CA
Book cover “out take” Newport Beach, CA
Book cover shoot Newport Beach (subject holding prototype book)
Signing at the Los Angeles Convention Center in 1996
Taylor Hayes & Peter at the LA Convention Center in 1996
Tyffany Minx, Peter North, and Taylor Hayes at the Los Angeles Convention Center 1996
Tyffany Minx 1996 LA Convention Center
Peter North Las Vegas AVN Convention 1997
Christy Canyon and Peter North Las Vegas AVN Convention 1997