Old Possums Book of Practical Cats by T. S. Eliot Excerpt

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Copyright 1939 by T . S . Eliot Copyright renewed 1967 by Esme Valerie Eliot Illustrations copyright © 1982 by Edward Gorey rights reserved. reserved. No part of this publication publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, Al l

or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission permission i n writin writing g from the the publisher. publi sher. Requests for permission to make copies of any part of the work should be mailed to the following address: Permissions Department, Harcourt Brace 8c Company, 6277 Sea Harbor Drive, Orlando, Florida 32887-6777. Cataloging-in-Publication Publication Da ta Library of Congress Cataloging-inEliot, T . S . (Thomas Stearns) 1888-1965. O ld

possum's book of practical cats. 1. Cats - Poetry.

Gorey, Edward, 1925I I . Tide PS3509.L43055 1982 821'.912 81-20057 I.

I S B N 0-15-168656-4

AACR2

I S B N 0-15-668568-X (pbk.) ISBN

978-0-15-668568-9

Printed in the the Uni ted States of America DO C 40 39 38 37









T H E N A M I N G OF CATS

T h e Naming of Cats is a difficult matter, I t isn't just one of your holiday games; Y o u may think at first I ' m as mad m ad as as a hatter When I tell you, a cat must have T H R E E D I F F E R E N T N A M E S . First of all, there's the name name that the th e family use daily, Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James, Such as Victor or Jonatha Jona than, n, George George or Bill Bailey— A l l of them sensible everyday names. There are fancier names if you think they sound sou nd sweeter, sweeter, some for f or the dames: Some for the gentlemen, some Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter— B u t al alll of of them sensible everyday names. B u t I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular, A name name that's that's peculiar, peculiar , and more dignified, Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular, O r spread spread out o ut his whiskers, or cherish his pride? Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum, Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat, Coricopa t, Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum— Names that never belong to more than one cat. B u t above and beyond there's still one name left over, A n d that is the name that you never w i l l guess; T h e name that no human research can discover-





When you notice a cat in profound meditation, T h e reason, I tell you, is always the same: H i s mind is engaged i n a rapt contemplation Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name: His ineffable effable Effanineffable Deep and inscrutable singular Name.











T H E OLD GUMB IE CA T

Jennyany dots; have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots; Her He r coat is of the tabby kind, with tiger stripes and leopard spots. A l l day she sits upon the stair or on the steps or on the mat: She sits and sits and sits and sits—and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat! I

But Bu t when the day's hustle and bustle is done, wo rk is is b u t hardly har dly begun. Then the Gumbie Cat's work A n d when all al l the family's i n bed and asleep, She slips do d o w n the stairs stairs to t o the basement basement to creep. She is deeply «oncerned with the ways of the mice— mi ce— Their behaviour's not good good and thei th eirr manner mannerss not n ot nice; So when she has got them lined up on the matting, She teaches them music, crocheting crochetin g and tatting.





But when the day's hustle and bustle is done, Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun. As she finds that the mice w i l l n o t ever keep quiet, She is sure it is due to irregular diet believi ng that noth no thin ingg is done done with wi thou outt trying, A n d believing She sets straight to work wo rk with her baking and frying. She makes them a mouse-cake of bread and dried peas, be au t ifu l fry of lean bacon and cheese. A n d a beau

have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots; The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots. She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat: She sits sits and an d sits sits and sits and an d sits—and sits— and that's that 's what wh at makes a Gumbie Cat! I

But when the day's hustle and bustle is done, Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun. She thinks that the cockroaches just need employment To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment. So she's formed, from that lot of disorderly louts, A troop tr oop of well-di wel l-disci sciplin plined ed help he lpfu full boyboy-sc scou outs ts,, W i t h a purpose in life and a good deed to do— A n d she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo. So for Old Gumbie Cats let us now give three cheers— O n whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.

Old Possums Book of Practical Cats by T. S. Eliot Excerpt

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