Net2Bed System Headline Mastery v2.0

NET2BED-NET2WED How to Attract The Woman of Your Dreams For a Night, a Lifetime … or Anything in Between

ONLINE HEADLINE MASTERY By Grant Adams www.net2bed.com

Version 2.0 November, 2006

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Headlines Some of the better web dating sites like YahooPersonals ask for a headline rather than a name. This provides you with an extraordinary opportunity to make yourself absolutely invisible! To throw out a meaningless cliché. To be pathetic or a downer, an empty vessel braggart, a copycat or an unworthy, creepy enigma! Yes, it’s the perfect place for a woman to breeze right on by your smiling face to the cool guy below you. And, of course, it’s also a golden opportunity, in one fell swoop to stand out brilliantly, the capture her imagination, awaken her inner princess or goddess or lover, stimulate her sensual core, liberate her from her daily grind by making her laugh or feel inspired, led, directed or burningly curious to find out who this very different man is. To quote my favorite online dater, Alissa from How To Get The Guy on ABC when she wandered across my profile, “Damn! Who is this guy!?” Sorry for what seems like a shameless plug, but it’s just to remind you that this material does its work. I’ve gotten, “Wow, I read every word you wrote twice – I’m intrigued to learn more” – and I’ve gotten it dozens of times in different forms. This isn’t theory and it’s not a maybe. Writing with conscious intention and combinatorial subtlety works. So let’s get into it. All the examples you read below are REAL. I pulled them off the net from guys’ sites, writing to some of them to ask how their profiles are working for them and if women comment on their great headlines (usually happens at the date, not online). I also double checked the power of these headlines with my own private panel of very desirable women here in god-blessed L.A. Many of the principles of the entire N2B/N2W system hold true here. For example, one guy in Houston gave a great electric contrast: Lawyer/sculptor seeks honey bunny


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Okay, although the honey bunny part makes me throw up in my mouth a little, and reminds me of the diner thieves in “Pulp Fiction,” I love the Lawyer/sculptor part. It was accompanied by a dignified shot and barechested shot in front of a 20 foot sculpture he was working on. Electric! Here’s another good electric contrast: Wacky intellectual with muscles Love that because it has three, count ‘em, three contrasting elements. More electricity! I also like that he didn’t feel like he needed to push it. He already got her attention, so at the start of his profile, he eased into building positivity, trust, social proof of friends and family and humor. Read on… I am a pretty happy guy, I have a job I love, a few good friends, a wonderful family. I love to laugh and make others laugh as well. Not scintillating, but after his great opening headline, a calming complement. Want to hear a really bad example of electric contrast. The headline: Kid at heart Great. But – he’s 25! That’s like a 70 year old headlining himself as “geezer at heart!” No electricity there, folks. A 50 year old could headline himself “Kid At Heart” and accompany it with him playing with his big dog or nieces or little native children on Safari – as long as it’s balanced with an authoritative photo of him being a directed masculine man. That’s contrast. But if you’re in your 20’s, you’re a kid. Find a way to subtly show the mystery of wisdom beyond your years, if you feel you have to offer that to a woman. That’s electric contrast. Let’s talk for a moment about the problem of invisibility because I think it’s the biggest one with regard to headlines. I studied men’s profiles in several cities in all corners of the country and the middle. When you do that, you get a woman’s eye view of the online dating scene. You see what’s repeated over and over and over again.


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If you were advertising a restaurant, would you say: “Some food for people to eat?” That’s pretty much what 30-40% of men do. They utterly waste their primary billboard space. For example: Ynot There’s a man who knows what he’s about, hmm? Read women’s profiles. See what they want. The best women, the most quality women almost always have a line where they ask for a man who “knows what he wants,” or “knows what he’s about” or “has a strong sense of purpose. Ynot just lost all of those in a flash instant. Same with this guy: Can't believe I am doing this Grow up, dude. Stand for yourself like a man. Believe in what you do. You’re no better than anyone else. So don’t act like online dating is beneath you. (Caveat: If she says in her profile that she can’t believe she’s doing this, then you can write back to her and talk about how you hesitated at first but have come to like the boldness of reaching out into the unknown and you respect her for doing it too. That’s putting yourself on her side of the line as a rapport-building technique and that’s fine. I’ve joked about the 60 year olds and the Ukranian, Tasmanian and Uzbeki women who write me – but all in good humor – not from a superioristic position. It makes her feel comfortable that she’s not the only one being spammed.) Here it is again, folks, I ain’t making this stuff up: ummm..do i really need an intro?..lol Ok, wretch – and double wretch for the lol at the end! He goes on to open with… Im not really sure what to write here because I don’t think I can describe me in this little box but I guess I can try...so lets see. Page 5 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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For the record, brought you by the 25 year old age bracket. Here’s another wasted headline. Doesn't hurt to try this, I guess That’s the erotic equivalent of a wet sock. What women would vibrate inside to that? Would lick her lips, grow moist and lean closer? Is it any surprise he follows up with: I'm not really much for describing myself to others… … which honestly, opens our discussion to the separate subject of wasting your opening line in the text of your profile. Guys! Pay attention. Think of every letter on the page as precious real estate that will draw women in. Read these opening lines: Hmmmm, let’s see… what can I really say…. Let’s see, well its really hard to capture who I really am in words… Wow, that’s a tough one, you’d have to meet me… I really dont know what to put here..there is so much I could say about myself, so if you want to learn more about me...just ask

Blah! Blah! Blah! Men. Know yourselves. Know your 5 most appealing qualities right on the tip of your tongue and stand in them if someone asks you. Here’s a clue to what at least 3 of them should be: they should be some kind of service to others. Go back to Part One of the Net2Bed/Net2Wed System Workbook and review your attractors. Can you frame at least 3 as service. Good. Make sure one of them is sizzling somewhere in your headline or opening lines, if indirectly. Page 6 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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Ready for another winner: Life is short why be miserable Cool, a reminder of death PLUS the word “miserable” all in one short headline. Kinda sexy, huh? Look how he follows up, and you can get a clear idea of his mindset. I've seen those E-harmony commercials & figured I'd give it a shot Some confidence. Some sense of openness and adventure. A bit guarded are we? Here’s another waste of valuable headline space: Just looking around And guess what – here’s his first line: College grad trying to start career… This guy is projecting aimlessness, ungroundedness, wandering – zero attractiveness to a together woman. I want to point out that a lot of these above aimless headlines belong to guys in their young to mid twenties. Maybe they are aimless or maybe they just haven’t learned to stand in their manhood yet. Anyway, something to ponder. And just you older guys think you’re getting away easy, check out this headline which really got me suicidal: It ain't easy being me Wow! That’s a come on! This 51 year old guy went on to open like this: I've been single for a long time. I'd like to meet someone special. It's time to stop doing things alone and share my life with you


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Failure mentality. Needy mentality. There’s no invitation to an exciting life with a man. Only a plea for someone to save him from his hell. What kind of woman might respond to that, if any? A scary thought. Need to be batted over the head some more with this? Imagine how women must feel when they come across yet another guy whining… I want a sweetheart please! Followed by… I know this is the hard part, (pick me, pick me part) but I'm getting tired of women with these incredible demands and expectations. Yeah, sure, blame them. Any woman worth her salt would be thinking, “maybe you just suck.” Don’t complain that women expect too much from you. You’re just saying you can’t satisfy “all” the women out there. Maybe you’ll end up with a doormat of a woman with no self-esteem with this ploy, but nothing else. Here’s another way people waste their headlines, ready: Still looking Still searching here we are again... Back to the well Back to the drawing board No luck so far God! Not dating again I hate dating Okay, team, what’s the message of these to women? That’s right – I suck! I fail! I am failing now! Hey wanna join me in my failure!? Here’s a headline bound to send quality women running… Looking to Live Again.... I'm a single 34 yr old hispanic male that just got of a long term relationship… Page 8 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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In other words, you’re an emotional wreck. What kind of woman will respond to that? A saving type at best – and you’ll end up hating her soon, plus once you have your confidence back, she won’t know what to do with you. You might find a co-emotional wreck, recently separated. And, look, I’ve been through it, there’s some self-esteem in numbers after a big breakup. But compare the dead voltage of the guy who is only “looking” to live with this guy: Wake up every day with a purpose! Here’s a guy who is out there, striving, not dependent on any woman, or anyone else. He directs his own life. And continues well… I am an honest, humble, hardworking and loving man, who is looking for someone to share my life with Now, look, going back to dating, like anything else can be defined by your attitude. I will almost always say I am new to the site. I start and stop my membership for that reason. I will always take a positive attitude. I will always say on dates that “by the time I know and like someone enough to meet them in person, they always end up being great people.” I ALWAYS respect the women I have previously met online. I may joke about the distant hopefuls that write me, but I remain very respectful about anyone I’ve taken time to meet. That puts the woman opposite me not only in a chain of chosen or elite winners and demonstrates that I respect women (always a plus) but also shifts the “still dating” negative vibe to a positive adventure – she will hear: how great it is that there are so many great women out there and I love meeting them all and you may be the special one. While I’m ranting – please do not open your profile by saying you are “down to earth” or “laid back” or “easy going” Thousands of guys have already driven that cliché into the muck. Is there sex appeal in that? If you want to make her feel safe, create trust in some way. Of find another way of saying you don’t have pretensions and that you value the everyday joys and kindnesses of life. Okay, let’s move on. Do you know what a tell is in poker? When a guy scratches his nose every time he bluffs? Or how about a comic to Page 9 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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telegraphs his jokes, who delivers the line and then opens his palm and begs for a laugh? The common denominator is that these two failed players fail by revealing their process. It’s not seduction if you clumsily reveal what you are doing (unless you do it in a super-ballsy knowing, confident way, demonstrating that you know way more about male-female dynamics than she does, but that’s highly advanced stuff and not for here.) Here’s an odd case of a guy giving away the strategy – a tell: “Attraction is not a choice.” Now I’m about as big a fan of David D as anyone (grantlikes.com/doubleyourdating). It is a rare woman who will find this provocative. She WANTS you to actively choose her because of who she is. She doesn’t want to believe in the automatic nature of attraction, true as it may be - and it is to an extent. Now, if this guy’s profile went into a subtle and sensitive exposition on the nuances of the male/female dance, he might have been intriguing to a woman. But he didn’t. He threw it down because it sounded smart, like David D. Here’s another case of giving away your strategy, and in this case, it’s giving away your power. This headline is craven: Hear much, Speak Little Dude, let her discover that about you! Let her first see that you’re a real man with plenty to say about the world but that in her presence, you just grow quiet because what she has to say is so interesting, and because you are honoring her and because you care. You don’t say little and listen because you are a habitual wallflower, you do it in HER presence because she’s so awesome! This guy simply gave away the game. Pulled the rug out from under all the opportunity for her opening into feeling special with him. All that process and pleasure he’ll never get from her now. Page 10 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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And while were on the joy of the game, here’s a guy who gives away his power in another game, by thinking he’s gaming the game. Prince looking for princess Yes, women want to think they are princesses. And yes, if you approach them that way, they will feel special. Especially if you lead with it! You will also get another reward – a woman who is stuck in her early adolescent phase of self-worth – her daddy’s princess – either real or missed. She will expect you to shower her this way. Treat her like a princess, fine. Call it to her playfully once you really dig her, touch that button lightly, but do not, under any circumstance ask for it up front. You will get the pouty, self-centered pubescent in a woman’s body you asked for. I am cautious of any woman who has the word princess in her profile, as most of you know. Or of anyone who is looking for a “White Knight.” These are adolescent women, not powerful, loving, grounded passionate adults. Yes, you can flatter that kind of woman into bed, but everyone will get hurt sooner rather than later. While we’re on red flags in women’s profiles here’s another: I tend to stay away from any women’s headlines that say anything like “Impress Me” or “I’m Hard to Impress” It puts you in the disempowered position. You’re just gonna be climbing up and emasculated if you play her game. The only way to win this game, if you are inclined to try (worth it for the experience, is all, in my view) it is to be so cocky and funny and so reverse her power game that you bust through her pretensions. She might ignore you because she’s probably very hot and is bombarded, but she also might admire your big balls. Then you have a second problem of course. If you do get her attention – what kind of woman is she going to be? The sweet, loving, open flow of feminine lusciousness, or a withholding, self-important, spoiled ballbuster. I don’t need the latter, do you? The internet dating ocean is wide and deep and filled with multicolored fishies. Why play Crocodile Hunter and swim with Sting Rays? Page 11 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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Bait them if you want. As I said, the internet is a GREAT place to practice your personae. But know what you’re getting into. Okay, let’s talk about humor. What if you’re a creative guy? You can lay it out there, Cool creative guy Semi-yawn. This also risks being seen as a pompous self satisfied guy. Or -- you can play with it. Check this headline: Oh no, the creative type! Which is what most women will think. But his sense of humor dissipates the anxiety that he might be flighty, or worse, poor. 10 points to Griffindor! Then there’s the humor that points to a shared experience with a book or movie. It’s what I called the “humor of shared recognition.” On TV, as on Saturday Night Live, it’s a weak way of creating an audience reaction – rather than actually being unique or funny. They just toss out a catch phrase and everyone laughs (Eddie Murphy where are you now!!!? Come back to us!) But with headlines, it’s an effective way to create some light, instant rapport – IF it indicates something real about you. For example… One time, at band camp... Nice, it identifies him as a music lover as well as a funny guy who likes to laugh – always a sexy thing (although he misquotes the line, It’s “Once… at band camp…”) Side note- I read that line in the American Pie script before it was released and I have NEVER laughed so hard at a written piece of film dialogue. Love it. So maybe I’m prejudiced. Another music lover hung out perfect bait with this headline: 'is you is, or is you ain't my baby?'


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Yes! A fantastic classic song, a great lyric and sure enough, it bespoke a cultured guy seeking a cultured girl – and drew exactly the kind of girl he wanted. His profile opened… Mid-twenties, arts employed. Thin, curly haired, dual-citizen with the US/UK... go out often, love live music, love books, literature, the theater… A real New Yorker.

Let’s talk about projecting Leadership, an authoritative, sensitive masculinity. Remember those headlines above that said – I’ve got nothing to offer? Weren’t enough for you? Here’s some more as a reminder: Sorry I couldnt think of a good headline Which then opens with the profile line, I am in writers block... Age 28. Or how about the powerful magnetic headline… Just take a look, you'll never know Age: 32 Here’s another winner: Just me Wow! I’m a quality woman and I want to be with Charlie Brown. Just me. He opens with. I'm ready for a change. Tired of being single, looking for something new,


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So I as a woman am supposed to relieve him of his boredom. That’s a romantic fantasy to ignite a woman’s sexuality. And here’s another guy who put absolutely no effort in. His headline is simply… MAN First of all, that’s questionable because a real man has something important to say to the world. But a real self-sabotager has something really suicidal to say to women – to guarantee they will not write him. He opens his profile… HI, ME- I COULD BE JEFFREY DAHMER OR THE UNABOMBER AND WRITE SOMETHING REALLY FABULOUS AND CORNY TO GET YOUR ATTENTION BUT SORRY, I'M ABOVE THAT… Anyone out there believe he’s above it? Or above anything? Or just collapsed under his own lack of genuine masculine identity? These above are honestly making me sorry for women – THIS is what they have to choose from? It also makes me very confident that those in the N2B/N2W Community have an amazingly unfair advantage! It’s up to you to make it work! Let’s compare these verbal incarnations of dating suicide bombers with men who project a sense of purpose, authority and leadership. This is tricky because you don’t want to be braggy or snotty. I like this guy’s headline:

A Man Without A Plan Is Not A Man It’s assertive and its true. And it also challenges HIMSELF ot a higher level of responsibility and presence in his life. Remember how I said you need to be able to stand in your strength attractors? He opens with two physical ones – by the way – two attributes that women always talk about regarding attractive men:


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My best features are my eyes and hands. On our dream date, my match and I would have a 4 course meal at 4 restaurants. 1 for each course I love this guy! And more important, so do the women I ran this profile by. He is comfortable in his attractiveness and immediately “invites” a woman on a “dream date” that shows creativity and verve! 4 restaurants! Women innately feel that this guy is going to make an effort to please them by being a leader, taking control in a creative, playful, sensually alive way. Well done Plan-Man. How do you feel about this headline: You ain't seen nothin' yet... Well, it catches her eye, certainly a woman who is ambitious and seeking an ambitious man, although she might be wary of boasting if he follows up with a catalogue of his cars, boats and trophies. Unfortunately, this guy totally doesn’t follow up, the way that Mr. Plan-Man did. He opens his profile… I am interested in meeting someone, for friendship and/or a potential relationship And he goes on being equally uninteresting and uninspired for line after line. It was like he one short ejaculatory moment of bravado, but on retrospect, it’s more like empty hope. Certainly an empty promise. By comparison, here’s a guy who follows up his great attention grabbing confident headline with something alluring and a solid photo to boot…

Real men are hard to find, until now.... I am an aspiring singer who loves to mesmerize audiences with my soothing R&B voice. I am currently working on my first album while going to school full time and working full time. Cool dude. He’s not only a devoted “mesmerizing” artist but he’s hard at work improving himself WHILE holding down a full time job. That’s a triple threat on the electric contrast scale!!!


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We believe that he’s a real man, at least enough to give him a shot at a date. Whether he has the presence and sensitivity and attention to bring out the love in a woman is another question. Can’t know that yet. But his headline and opening have done their jobs! Okay, now let’s talk to those of you who are seeking a wife. The clearer you can be, the more targeted your marketing will be. I like these headlines for these purposes:

Just Want 1 Good Woman And Time To Find My Best Friend Clean, inviting, focused, devoted to the virtue and appealing qualities of a woman truly seeking one man. By the way, if you are not seeking one woman, don’t say you are. Guys do this and it ends up creating very very bad karma. I want to point out how a slight nuance of the above headlines make them stand out from the endless parade of copycat, invisible headlines that disappear one into the next. Listen: Are you the one? I may be the one Looking for someone special Gentleman looking for someone special Here are needy, and therefore, even worse versions: i need someone and Need a partner for fun


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Gentlemen, you don’t NEED a woman, you are INVITING her into your exciting life. If you can’t offer that, why would she be magnetized to you? We’ll talk about the power of inviting women in with your headline when we talk about travel, below. For now, I want to stay on this inability to STAND OUT from the crowd. Here’s another template that guaranteed to blend into the hundreds of Xerox copies of your headline: Nice guy Nice guy seeks nice girl Man seeking woman Mr Nice Guy looking for Ms Nice Girl Nice guy needs nice gal Which of course adds that extra spice of neediness that women find so appealing. Okay all you nice guys, do you see what’s happening over and over out there. And those many of you who think you’re getting away with being original with: Nice Guy With an Edge Fuhget about it! There’s lots of you. SHOW your edge, don’t say you have it. Another waste of space and dearth of imagination: Hello, Hi Hello there Sounds like a nightmare speed-dating event. Sounds like Napolean’s brother in Napoleon Dynamite, but without his LaFawnduh. Compare the appeal of “hi” with… Abnormally Sane Individual


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Boom. Wow. Good. Different. Energy. Trustability. Humor. She’ll have a look at what he has to say. But what about if you’re one of the many stuffed animal fetishists: I’m a Teddy Bear Great. Guaranteed to bring out the 4 year old in any woman. I saw this one over 5 times in two days: PART TEDDY BEAR, PART SOCIAL BUTTERFLY Nice gene splicing, but all the other mutants are out there with you. Here’s another: HI I'M TEDDY BEAR CAN YOU HOLD ME Ew! Uch! Where are your testicles, man!? Find them. Your headline reads like desperation. If you’re going to be a Teddy Bear (say you are big and cuddly), then at least contrast it electrically with something strong, directed, self-guided… masculine! And would somebody help me with all these Let’s go fly a kite Is there a dating guru who recommends this? Mary Poppins? Barney? Dr. Psychopath Phil? What’s going on? Write me. Tell me. The Kite industry maybe? INVITING MISS DAISY

Okay, now let’s talk about one of my favorite subjects: Inviting Women into Your Exciting Life. Remember, they ALL want to be brought by the hand into a life more exciting, more expansive than their own. One where they will be recognized, listened to, honored, worshipped even, and, most importantly, loved. So many guys lay out their data right from the start – in their headlines. Here we go, ready fact-junkies? Page 18 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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"Truth is simple" life is good Life is laughter. The past does not equal the future." The unexamined life is not worth living Okay, so…. Then what? Is this a door being opened to a woman? An invitation into a sensual garden? Into a party? Into adventure? Or is it some guy spouting off his second or fiftieth-hand cliché’d pseudo-wisdom? The only promising one there is the last one which is Socrates’s line about the unexamined life. But this guy opens his profile by saying that looking for a job is a drag. First reaction – the UNEMPLOYED life isn’t worth living. Start working, stop examining, if you want to take a girl out for a drink, big fella. Here’s a particularly special headline: LIFE IS SHORT AND DOES NOT MATTER..... Gee, that’s romantic, she’s gonna feel special. That’s gonna put her in the mood! Verbal Jagermeister, that one is. Here’s another non-invitational assertion: The greatest risk is not taking one True, I suppose and the best cliché is the one you never hear – sadly that doesn’t go for any of the above. Here’s one of the assertion of seemingly wise sayings as headlines that actually has a little traction… “A dreamer lives for eternity.” He could have followed by what he meant by being a dreamer – and how, by the way, he’s also grounded, and more importantly, how he will lift a woman into new heights by virtue of his imagination and drive… But he didn’t. Page 19 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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Opportunity wasted. Here’s an attempt at a cliché but he didn’t even get it right. The comic effect of the missed effort is almost too perfect to believe… Live Like you Were Dying Uh, I think you mean, as if everyday were your last day. When Homer Simpson heard this saying, he sat by the side of the road, wailing, “I’m gonna die! I’m gonna die!” Here’s an odd headline assertion… "don't get mad, get even" Huh? Great for Don Carleone to pass on to Michael, but to bring out the goddess in a woman? Let’s see the power that this guy brings to his opening line that expands what he offered in his headline… I'm just here to see wat this brings me. I'm a easygoing person, enjoy having friends going places By the way, I leave all the spelling mistakes intact. Also, do you get the point by now that your profile should expand upon, contrast with or somehow tie into your headline? Here’s an assertion/cliché that at least opens a conversation with women…

To love is to move in the same direction Okay, he’s not gonna win the Nobel Prize for Psychological Insight and Originality but at least its about women’s favorite subject – not getting even, or some abstraction about life being short or cruel. Remember: the house of a woman’s mind has many rooms and whatever else they may be as rooms, they are also THE LOVE ROOM. They – on the whole – live in the drama of “am I loved? Am I still loved? Am I lovable? Might I be loved more deeply? Will a man ravish me?” The Page 20 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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drama of love is the constant in the feminine heart and you can’t really lose if you speak intelligently and sensitively to it. Here’s a BAD invitation: Hey ppsssttt, yes U honey pie Although if you were clearly having fun with it, you might get a woman to enjoy your ballsiness and sense of humor. But I think he meant it. I think that was his best opener. Also not so great: She must be a soft and kindhearted woman The sentiment is fine and alluring to women, but say instead… Are you a soft and kindhearted woman? Speak directly to her. Open up the conversation with your reader. Invite her in. Get her to whisper “yes” in the privacy of her bedroom. Here’s a terrific invitation: Having a great time, wish you were here! It plays with the old postcard cliché, it bespeaks a high-energy, fun guy who is ALREADY living his life and enjoying it (no “lonely guy” or “man needs woman with vagina” attitude here. And it invites her directly to join him! His profile continued the lively, happy energy… Career-minded and easy-going. I like to work hard and then take the time that's left to really enjoy life Got it? Now here’s a creepy version of the above: "Wanna go for a ride???" This guy’s 50 and actually looks kinda creepy. It turns out he has a Harley, but that’s buried in the text. If there was a photo of him smiling with his Page 21 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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hog on a mountaintop or by the beach or lake – cool. But there isn’t, so… wanna go for a ride, little girl? Creepy. While we’re on creepy, here’s an odd headline from the Brothers Grimm, I suppose… Like the wolf, I wont leave you. Yikes. Ready for some more? These are real, guys… WITH ALL THE DYING TREES I SCREAM... A screaming man? Okay – Sam Kinison was allowed to scream. Richard Simmons is expected to scream. But DEATH and SCREAMING in one headline. Looking for a Goth girl? Okay, good work then. If you are an environmentalist, I feel your pain, but 99% of women won’t stick around long enough to feel anything, regarding pain or pleasure. Okay, let’s rinse off and move on. Here’s a great invitation: lets get off the computer and go outside See that? Instead of saying, I’m a Mountain Man! I’m an Outdoors Athlete Dude! He establishes RAPPORT in an instant – “let’s” do something together – he’s already got her in his picture – and then further rapport by co-admitting with her that they are both stuck behind a computer. So he invites her outside. Like a friend popping by. Very sweet. Good work. Bad invitation: Need some fun Get a trampoline. But don’t ask your woman to supply you fun. You’re the one who should be taking the lead into the world! Another good invitation… Where are the adventurers?


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An adventurous woman will say to herself, “Here! Right here! Of course you can’t find them because they are not me, they are not special” and she will be tempted to answer his call! This fellow knows something about women. He’s 46, by the way, and follows up with the opener… As a business owner that trades internationally, my schedule limits my leisure time to weekends for social entertaining. Events that suit YOUR FANCY are always welcomed. Awesome! Not only is he creating scarcity regarding his time, thereby raising his value, he actually invites women to participate in choosing their fun. He’ll listen, honor and respect her! She’s not going to have to watch him adventurously playing bocce with the boys or deep-sea fishing if she hates it. And yes, it helps that he’s got a cool sounding job – but you don’t need it. You need to provide a sense of valuing your time, and of being open to a woman’s desires. This invitation is from a very traditional guy, and it works: Open the door...let magic in... Women like magic. How else can you explain the career of the very creepy David Copperfield and his very creepy hair? But they like magic in all its possibilities, magic landscapes and castles, glitter, the magic of love, the sparkle of champagne on a moonlit night. They love extraordinary magical moments that are full of sensual delight in exquisite combinations. The magic of heightened moments. He seems to know this, as he opens his profile with… Chivalry is certainly not dead...I know this because I represent everything it stands for. I'm the type of guy who believes in traditional values when it comes to respecting women He’ll get himself his PromiseKeepers type of wife. Good luck to them and their 2 ¾ kids. Here’s another type of invitation which I think is awesome… Behind Every Successful Man... Page 23 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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What’s a woman doing to do? She will fill in the rest of that sentence and see herself there. Women DO want to empower their men and so it’s a nice invitation to participate in his life, his success. It implies his sense of belief in the reader. Another good invitation begins with a great headline… I have good news..... But then inexplicably doesn’t follow it up with anything. Not good news about him, not even the Good News about the Gospel, which I half expected. Zip! Just went on to write his standard boring, “I’m a down to earth guy looking for a special lady” drivel. That’s bad news. I like this invitation. He’s already engaged the woman at the other end of the pipeline and speaks past her exterior: Think there’s more to you than your look: Honestly, EVERY woman wants to hear this. Whatever they look like, they want to know that doltish men can see past their penises into the true heart and soul of a woman. His follow up is very appealing… You should know that I am attracted to people who are exceptional, HONEST, intelligent, spontaneous, and open to new ideas, learnings and adventures, who are passionate, and confident… All good. Now here a couple more excellent invitations… Let's pick up and travel the world A woman would answer that. It’s so much better than the bald statement, “I love to travel” or “To Travel Is to Learn” or the other hundred stilted ways guys communicate their love of travel. How about this one: Page 24 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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If the road intersects, let's meet there Yes. It’s good. It’s not only travelly, but it’s conditional. It’s open handed and creates a peaceful picture that suggests fate. His follow up continues the road theme, and adds social virtue (service), humor and listening to the mix, a great mix of signifiers done swiftly and elegantly. I like to workout and run in my spare time and sometimes do races for a good cause. I am told I always have a smile and tend to be a great listener… Here’s the wrong way to bring up travel… "I cannot rest from travel..." No invitation there. Just sounds like a frantic, exhausted guy. Much better… perpetual traveller seeks island There’s a nice double-meaning here in that she is also his island, his refuge, his peaceful destination. He follows up nicely… Dynamic perpetual traveller seeks to get lost on some lost island in your company ... Hedonism essential, more than vanilla is offered Moving away from travel for a moment, but sticking with the idea of inviting a woman in, here’s another interesting, invitational opener. It invites her into sharing her deepest self… what do you do with all your power? It assumes the reader knows she has power and honors her for it. It’s good to ask this kind of question, not a klunky, “when was the last time you met a great guy?” – which is just white noise. His question is about her – but really curious about her – and not about himself. Page 25 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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Unfortunately, and again inexplicably, he then neglects to build on it, to make a women feel like she’s seen into, or invited to express her secret, unseen power. It’s almost like someone gave him the line and he didn’t know what to do with it. Let’s go back to magic for a moment for a zoological headline less creepy than the stalking wolf: Searching for the unicorn Women love unicorns, don’t ask me to go into the phallic Freudian reasons why, but let it suffice that unicorns also conjures up magical lands, possibilities, princesses and romantic landscapes. Just the word unicorn makes the reader, if she’s into these kinds of things (it’s not gonna snag a Wall Street Exec), she will feel that like the unicorn, she is seen as rare and special and pure and has magical powers. I believe the tears of unicorns are supposed to magical have healing powers. Anyway certainly better than seearcning for wombats or wallabies. Very magical and romantic. Here’s an invitation that is also a challenge:

Any truly unconventional woman left? An unconventional woman is likely to respond to herself, “hell, I’m one!” And she may write you. But the attitude has to be welcoming, not demanding, not pissy that women are boring, uninteresting, dullards. Don’t’ go picking on other women. Just paint the ideal self she can step into – just like glass slippers! Now, here’s another opportunity. Remember how I said a true man lives in service. That is fundamentally how a man expresses love. So a headline that suggests service or is just generous, can have a powerful effect. Here’s one… May Your Wishes All Come True He could have launched into the fact that he just wants everyone to express themselves and be happy and live well and explain his positive outlook on life, free of ego and need. Nope. What did he do? Blow real estate value… Page 26 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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Obviously I could talk forever about myself, but would you read it all? I know I wouldn't read it and I'm definitely not going to write it. That's for you to ask if you're in (blah blah blah!) Now the guy looks like Orlando Bloom so he probably did fine – but what a horrible opening for a profile! Remember, don’t waste space. Don’t say “looking for a lady,” 0 they know! That’s why you’re on the damned site! Don’t say “obviously it’s hard to capture a person in q few paragraphs,” - we know! Just be a purposeful man and get to it! And don’t start out with “Im a down to earth” or “easy going” – because thousands of other guys open the same way! Catch her attention, intrigue her. Mystify her. Make her dream or wonder or fill with sensual images. Just don’t bore her with what everyone else says. A few more before we wrap up:

I want it all, do U? That’s great because it leads a woman to an automatic “yes” answer and you’ve started her on a “yes” chain. It also suggests ambition, always an attractor in a guy. As good as that one is, here’s one as bad: I can wear a tie...or shorts and sandals We all know what he’s trying to say, but it comes off sounding like a proud 3 year old. Can you button your own shorts, big guy? And finally a nice straightforward confident… Great catch, seeking same. Not striking – but confident and flattering to the reader at the same time, so better than the average, “good guy seeks woman.” Page 27 Copyright © 2006 N2B Partners All Rights Reserved.

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And certainly better than the oversell of this guy: Great Guy Seeks Great Girl He then slathers it on thicker… Hi! I'm a really sweet, wonderful, sensitive caring guy who would like to meet a woman who is… \ “Catch” is so much more elegant and pithy. There’s no braggadocio in it. And last but not least, here’s one that melts the heart of every woman I’ve showed it to: Take Home Chef Now go write yourself a stand out headline and succeed!


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Net2Bed System Headline Mastery v2.0

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