MEANGIRLS The musical Based on the hit movie and Rosalind Wiseman’s “Queen Bees & Wannabes”
FAN-MADE Written by: Kalim Blythe Starring: Cady Heron: Janis Ian: Rooney Mara Gretchen Wieners: Lea Michele Karen Smith: Ariana Grande Ms Norbury: Tina Fey Mrs George: Amy Poehler
[Scene: The stage has fake plants and a sunny orange background, and a Jeep parked with a silhouette of a girl sat s at in the back. A couple wave to three African women in traditional clothes and the woman falls into the man arms sobbing.] [The three women sing whilst waving] “ Kwa heri kwa heri mm pen si kwa heri kwa heri kwa heri mm pen si kwa heri ” [Repeat] [As the couple walk to the Jeep, the woman still tearfull, the back window rolls down and Cady is revealed to the audience. audience. She looks out at the women] [Speech] Cady: Goodbye Africa! Kwaheri! [Major chord piano starts playing and so does the rest of the band] [The couple, Cady’s Mom and Dad, get into the Jeep and start the engine] [Song] [1st Verse] [Three women continue to sing in Unison as Cady starts verse] Cady:
“Goodbye Africa, I must move on. To bigger things than things than the 2 nd biggest continent on Earth! Goodbye Africa, there’s a lump in my throat, as I journey on and find my new home!” [x2] [x2] [Chorus] [Scene: The Jeep moves onto another set, an airfield, where waiting is a plane. The three women follow on singing] Three women: “Tu tata na na tena tu ke sha re wa tu tata na na tena tu ke sha re wa ” [x2] ” [x2] Cady: “As I say farewell, I don’t feel all swell! I’m in fear Of moving to the USA, my eyes start to swell, with wit h tears” Three women: [back to Kwaheri verse and] [Repeat until Chorus] Cady: “ Goodbye, Africa. Farewell, Kenya Kwaheri, Africa. Kwaheri, Kenya ” ” [The Heron’s get out of the Jeep, all emotional, em otional, and onto the airplane. The plane escalates into the air to the audience’s amazement. The family waves down to the women who wave back. Cady and the women continue to sing.] [2nd Verse] Cady:
“Farewell Africa, as I move on, I start to sweat. My parents say that it’s for the best. Farewell Africa , I must move on, I’m I’m nervous about nervous about my new home but I must have hope !” !” [x2] [Scene: The plane passes an American flag backdrop as Cady sings the 2nd verse. The women leave the stage but continue to sing with the band] [Repeat Chorus] [Scene: The Heron’s land in an American airport. They wave goodbye to the plane and carry their luggage threw customs. Then, we are introduced to the Heron’s new American house. They drop off their luggage at the doorstep and Cady gets her school stuff out of the suitcases as they sing the bridge] [Bridge] Three women: [Tu tata verse] [Repeat] Mrs Heron: “Do you have your schoolbag?” Cady: “Check!” Mr Heron: “What about your pencil case?” Cady:
“Check!” Mrs Heron: “Appropriate uniform?” Cady: “Check!” [Music pauses] Mr Heron: *speech* This is your lunch, OK? I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk. [Music starts] Cady: “*long note* Check!” [Final Chorus] [Scene: Cady walks to school. We see the sports turf and students busily walking past. They all stare down at Cady as she sings. The backdrop has a picture of a stretch of grass on the sports turf and the school building behind with the distant sign “NORTH SHORE HIGH SCHOOL”] Three women: [Kwaheri Verse] [Repeat until end] Cady: *Narrates to audience* I know what you’re thinking. “It’s like she’s never been to school or something” and it’s true. Normally kids have that moment when they’re 5, but I was home-schooled home-schooled until then. Living in Africa was great. My parents are research zoologists. But
then my Mom got offered a tenure at Northwestern university. So it was goodbye Kenya and hello Illinois. And, of course, high school. Cady: “Goodbye, Farewell, Kwaheri Africa! Goodbye, Farewell, Kwaheri Kenya!” [Scene: Cady excitedly runs off stage and the new set is Ms M s Norbury’s maths classroom. Students are seated at their desks. Cady walks in and approaches Kristen Hadley] Cady: Hi, I don’t know if anyone told you about me. I’m a new student here. My name’s Cady Heron. Kristen: Talk to Talk to me again and I’ll kick your ass *chuckles* Janis Ian & Damien: *sniggers* [Cady takes a seat] Janis: You don’t wanna sit there. Kristen Hadley’s boyfriend is gonna sit there. *Boy sits down in the seat* Kristen: Hey, baby! *they French kiss each other grossly* [Cady goes across the room to sit behind a fat boy] Damien: Uh-uh Janis: He farts a lot *Good-looking boy walks into class* Boy: *to Cady* Excuse me, you dropped this *gives book to Cady*
Cady: Oh, thanks! Boy: Are you new here? Cady: Yeah, my name’s Cady *shakes hands with boy* Boy: My name’s Aaron Cady: Grool! Oh, I meant to say cool, but I started to say great *laughs nervously* Aaron: *laughs* OK, grool. See ya around. [Cady gazes at Aaron as he walks away] [Damien wolf whistles and sniggers with Janis] Ms Norbury: *walks in class with coffee cup* Hey guys [Cady walks backwards into Ms Norbury and she spills coffee on herself] Cady: Oh, God I’m so sorry! Ms Norbury: It’s not your fault, I’m just bad luck. [Principal Duvall walks in] Mr Duvall: Ms Norbury [Ms Norbury lifts up shirt and Cady helps her] Ms Norbury: My shirt’s stuck to my sweater, isn’t it? Mr Duvall & Cady: *in unison* Yeah
Ms Norbury: *says sarcastically* Fantastic Mr Duvall: Is everything alright in here? Ms Norbury: Oh, yeah! *shirt is off and is just wearing her vest which is wet and see-through Mr Duvall: So… how was your summer? Ms Norbury: I got divorced Mr Duvall: My carpal tunnel came back. Ms Norbury: I win. Mr Duvall: You certainly do. Mr Duvall: *speaks to class* I just wanted to let everyone now that we have a new student joining North Shore High. She just moved here all the way from Africa. Ms Norbury: *looks at black girl sat down at desk* Welcome! Black girl: *looks around and an d then looks at Ms Norbury* I’m from Michigan… Ms Norbury: Great! Mr Duvall: Her name is Caddie, Caddie Heron. Where are you, Cady? Cady: It’s pronounced like “Cay“Cay -dee” Mr Duvall: My apologies
Ms Norbury: Well, welcome Cady! Cady: Thanks *sits down at desk* Ms Norbury: And thank you, Mr Duvall. Mr Duvall: Why, thank you. *quietens down voice* And if you need anything or if you need to talk to me…. Ms Norbury: Maybe some other time, you know, when my shirt isn’t see-through? Mr Duvall: Yes, of course. *looks down at Ms Norbury’s shirt*. Good day, everybody. *leaves* [Scene: The set changes to cafeteria. All the cliques are sat together and Cady tries to find somewhere to sit] Cady: *narrates to audience* The first day of school was a blur. *walks to Cool Asians table* *girl puts bag on extra seat and gives a mean look at Cady* A stressful, surreal blur. *walks past table of boys* Boy: Dude, I’m telling you, I saw everything! Jason: It only counts if you saw nipple Boy: That’s That’s true, bro. Cady: *continues to walk and narrate to the audience* I had no one to sit with at lunch, even the African students *walks past table with black people* *to black people* Jambo! Black girl: Did you just say Sambo Black boy: … The fuck?
[Scene: Cady walks into the new set- a girls bathroom. Girls are doing their make-up in the mirror and they stare down at Cady] [1st Verse] Cady: “Did you ever feel like you wanna be wanna be someone else for just one day?” *goes into toilet cubicle with her lunch. Mirrors are taken down and the cubicle door is see-through so the audience can see Cady. The girls walk away* “Did you ever feel like you wanna see through another pair of eyes? Did you ever think I might wanna fit in with you for just one day? Did you ever even think of me, when tears fell down my face? [Bridge] “ The looks, the cliques and the cartons of milk ” * holds holds milk carton up* “T he stares, nose flares, my eyes down You t hink you know me, that I’m a geek You think that I’m weak You think you’ll know what I won’t share, but I don’t care no, I don’t care You think that I’m a weak geek, but I don’t care” *Cady *Cady cries* [Chorus] “And I wonder, if I’m just built this way coz everyone everyone at this school makes me feel like I don’t fit in When it’s over, me and my misfit ways go back to start again go back to start again”
[2nd Verse] “Did you ever feel like you should have introduced have introduced Yourself smarter at the time? Did you ever feel like you should have sat all by yourself? Did you ever think that it might’ve hurt my feelings? Oh, no no. Did you ever think that it might be, no it was all because of me. [Repeat bridge] [Repeat chorus] [Cady drops dinner and throws it at the side of the cubicle and sobs] [Repeat bridge] [Cady comes out of the cubicle and cries into the mirror. The mirror is transparent also] [Repeat chorus x3, repeat “go back to start again” x3] [The set changes to Cady’s house. Her Mom and Dad are sat on the front porch] Mr Heron: Hey! How was your first day? Cady: *huffs and runs inside* [Cady’s parents look concerned at each other. Cady rests on window sill and gives a deep, miserable sigh. The lights go low to give a nighttime effect and Cady lays back and goes to sleep. Her parents walk inside]
