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To Yusuf ibn Shaykh Waleed Basyouni , for reminding us how precious life and health is. Yusuf is a fighter and In sha’ Allah he will emerge as a winner, defeating leukemia. Just as the trials Prophet Yusuf faced made him stronger and elevated his status; our little Yusuf will come out of this stronger and healthier bi’thinillah! May Allah grant you shifaa’ and don't you worry Yusuf, you will feel so much better very soon In sha’ Allah!
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A WORD OF CAUTION! SIDE NOTE:
The information under section, “Sex and Intimacy” should NOT be viewed by 17year-olds and younger because Shaykh Waleed had asked them to step out of class during that session. 1. Project - Professional Notes (PPN) is a student-run initiative of the members of Qabeelat Tayybah, NY and is not sponsored or approved in anyway by AlMaghrib Institute or its employees. 2. Owing to the fact that PPN is a compilation of notes taken during the entire course of the Seminar for the members of Qabeelat Tayybah by its members, no statement or directive of any nature contained within has been approved by the Instructor teaching the Seminar. 3. The fact that PPN is a product of the note-taking abilities of the members of Qabeelat Tayybah is a testament to the fallible nature of its contents, i.e. its contents are not of an authoritative or binding nature. Moreover, PPN cannot be depended upon reliably as a source of legal Islamic injunctions or rulings. 4. There is nothing comparable to attending an AlMaghrib Seminar on one’s own volition to fully appreciate the experience of learning from Instructors proficient in their field of instruction. It is, therefore, a sincere advice from the members of the PPN Crew to the bearers of these Notes that taking detailed notes on your own is the optimal way to prepare for the exam. 5. One of the goals of PPN is to serve as a contingency for where its bearers might have missed or overlooked some portion of their notes during the course of the Seminar. However, depending on these Notes alone to prepare for the exam will not suffice and is not recommended. 6. Another intended goal of PPN is to promote willingness in it’s bearers to fulfill their commitment to Qabeelat Tayybah and to AlMaghrib Ins titute – preparing for and appearing for the exam. 7. Thus far, PPN has remained an unbiased and free enterprise, and your charitable donations for need-based scholarships to Qabeelat Tayybah shall continue to maintain PPN as such. 8. Lastly, the members of the PPN Crew would like to seize this opportunity to ask for your forgiveness, beforehand, for any slights or oversights on our behalf in the preparation of these Notes. We welcome your questions, critiques, comments and suggestions for the betterment of this ongoing charity at
[email protected]
Goals of the Course Preparing for this course initially was a challenge as many people have different interests and expectations for this course. For example, some from of the students were not married but looking to be, some were married but looking to be a better spouses, some were married with but yet to have children, and so on. There also may have been some who were in love but not yet married, or who are there just to learn about the fiqh involved in love and marriage. For those who were looking to get married, by the end of the course, they were taught to be able to walk out knowing how to find a spouse and what to look for. And for those who were in a relationship, they were given the tools to evaluate it the relationship to better fit them in all aspects of marital life. Shaykh Waleed Basyouni helped us with the religious aspects as well, but marriage is not just religious duties; it is a relation between humans. It is a special bond where we can share our feeling, thoughts and beliefs with another human being and feel comfort and joy around them. Alhamdulillah, for many of the students, the goals were achi eved.
Seminar Goals To love fiqh and appreciate the work of scholars To understand the fiqh of marriage and divorce To respect the different opinions between scholars by analyzing their
perspectives and developing tolerance towards those that may not agree with our own To become better spouses and see immediate results in our lives To give the students a clear picture of what marriage is like To build a very respectful image of the husband and the wife To honor marital life
Seminar Objectives To allow the students to gain the ability to reconcile between evidences if they
appear contradictory To teach the correct method of recognizing an acceptable opinion from an
unacceptable one To teach the methodology of Muslim Jurists in establishing ruling s To give the ability to contain marital problems and how to deal with them To convey the ability to make the right choices in life To express the role of husband and wife in marital life
To show how to improve the communication skills
To guide the student through the wisdom of Islamic Law in marital life To teach the students to recognize the most likey ruling i n the new
contemporary issues in marriage
Contents Dedication …………..…………………………….…..…...…….……. 2 Introduction…………..…………………………………………........ 4 Chapter 1: In the House of The Prophet ……..…………….…… 5 Chapter 2: Love and Marriage in Islam.……………....……..... 26 Chapter 3: ‘Afaaf ………..…..………………………………..…..…... 46 Chapter 4: Choosing the Right Spouse………………….…..….. 63 Chapter 5: Engagement …………..……………………...……....….. 91 Chapter 6: The Marriage Contract …….…………………..…......101 Chapter 7: The Wedding…..……………………………………...... 176 Chapter 8: Marital Life.....……………..………………………..….. 189 Chapter 9: Contraception and Abortion ….............................. 232 Chapter 10: Children….…….…....…….............................................. 241 Chapter 11: Marital Discord……….…..…...................................... 245 Chapter 12: Divorce………………….…..…...…………….………... 259 Chapter 13: Child Custody…………..………….…..………............ 290
The FOL Tayybah PPN Crew………………………...……..… 295
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Fiqh
f Love
Chapter 1: In the House of The Prophet
O
“There has certainly been for you in the messenger of Allaah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allaah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allaah often.” (33:21)
The state of relationships these days is not a very encouraging one. Today, relationships are failing everywhere. Sisters complain about their husbands, teenagers can no longer stand the fighting between their mother and father and Shaykh Waleed mentioned that once when he was praying jumu'ah, there was janaazah for a sister who had committed suicide. She had been fighting with her husband and could not handle it anymore so she just jumped out of their car and onto the highway. Sometimes couples become so separate and isolated from each other that they begin sleeping in separate rooms. Some people don’t even consider seeking counsel or a counselor. Some cultures deem it to be shameful to air out your secrets and problems to a stranger. The couple may also consist of one partner who sees no problem while the other sees nothing but the problems. The divorce rate in America jumped 50% from 1970 to 2004. The divorce rate has reached every 9 minutes in the heart of some Muslim countries as well. In a few Muslim countries, the rate is 47%. In California a b rother did a study and found that the divorce rate is between 35 and 42% among Muslims li ving there. If these rates do not seem significant to us, they should because they are very high. Statistics like this help distort the image and concept of marriage. There is a saying today that marriage kills love; when marriage comes it is the end of the love. As if love is something exclusively for boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. This is absolutely wrong. But how do we reconcile between all of these issues? A lot of solutions for these problems can be found in Rasulullah’s
life.
When you look at the period of marriage in the Prophet’s life, you see someone who is not in his 20’s or 30’s but someone in his 50’s and 60’s. And yet, you still see love and passion, the realest of both, with his wives clearly; even until in his last moments
Fiqh
f Love
Chapter 1: In the House of The Prophet
O
. He really is the best example for those looking for love, passion, good and strong marital relationships, solutions for any problems one may have and for the challenges one faces in marriage.
The reasons for plural marriages in the life of the Prophet
When the Prophet Muhammad lifetime.
died, he had wed eleven wives throughout his
These marriages were not merely for recreational purposes; the Prophet them for many wisdoms. Each marriage was for a reason and purpose.
married
1. If you look at the backgrounds of his wives, you can see that through them he tied a kinship with every tribe in Arabia. In that culture, when you have a relationship with family, then you become a part of the family. 2. Prophet
became a role model for all of us for each and every situation He married a widow He married a virgin He married women from different culture (i.e. he married a Jew) He married a relative He married a young woman He married someone who was very much older than him and even one who was close to his age.
married a woman from a rich family He married a woman from a poor family He
Every type of woman is represented in his wives.
Ummahaatul Mu’mineen Khadija bintu Khuwailid Radiyallahu'anhaa Souda bintu Zam’aa Radiyallahu'anhaa Aisha bintu Abi Bakr Radiyallahu'anhaa Hafsa bintu Omar Radiyallahu'anhaa Zainab bintu Khuzaima Radiyallahu'anhaa Umm Salama bintu Abu Umayyah Radiyallahu'an Zainab bintu Jahsh Radiyallahu'anhaa Juwayriyyah bintu Al-Harith Radiyallahu'anhaa Umm Habibah bintu Abi Sufyan Radiyallahu'anhaa Safiyyah bintu Huyay Radiyallahu'anhaa Maymoona bintu Al-Harith
