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HYPNOTIC STORYTELLING

George Hutton mindpersuasion.com ©MindPersuasion

Contents Why Stories?  ..........................................................................................................................................

5

Rich Communication  .......................................................................................................................

10

All Communication Is Persuasion  ............................................................................................

14

Less Harder Sell.................................................................................................................................

23

Unknown Criteria  ..............................................................................................................................

27

Ancient Persuasion  ..........................................................................................................................

32

Expanding Social Circles   ..............................................................................................................

37

Story Power   ..........................................................................................................................................

42

Universal Stories  ...............................................................................................................................

47

Yeah, But Why?   ..................................................................................................................................

52

Needed Players  ..................................................................................................................................

57

Advice Stories  .....................................................................................................................................

63

The Structure Of Structure  ..........................................................................................................

68

Hero's Journey Emotions As Advice  .......................................................................................

73

Mid Term Review  ...............................................................................................................................

77

Part Two – Story Techniques  ......................................................................................................

82

Emotions Are Everything  ...............................................................................................................

83

Master Story Tellers  ........................................................................................................................

87

Layers of Resistance  .......................................................................................................................

91

Nested Loops.......................................................................................................................................

98

Transitioning Techniques  ...........................................................................................................

107

Deeper Loop Structures   ...............................................................................................................

112

Blurred Realities   ..............................................................................................................................

117

Embedded Commands  ..................................................................................................................

121

Emotional Flow   .................................................................................................................................

125

Spatial Anchors   ................................................................................................................................

130

Common Structures  .......................................................................................................................

135

Metaphors  ...........................................................................................................................................

140

How To Build Metaphors   .............................................................................................................

146

Step by Step Example  ...................................................................................................................

152

Practice Structures  ........................................................................................................................

160

Practicing Nuts and Bolts   ...........................................................................................................

165

Collecting Metaphors  ....................................................................................................................

170

Secret Weapon  .................................................................................................................................

174

Practice Tips  .....................................................................................................................................

178

Review of Structures  .....................................................................................................................

182

Practice Suggestions  ....................................................................................................................

188

Appendix – Nested Loop Examples   .......................................................................................

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Example - First Day On The Job   ..............................................................................................

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Example - Building Romantic Desire   ....................................................................................

200

Example - Increasing Buying Temperature ....................................................................... 207 Example - Improving Somebody's Memory ........................................................................ 214 Example - Party Skills - Becoming More Outgoing  ........................................................ 221 Example - Party Skills - Being Adventurous  ...................................................................... 228 Example - Party Skills - Thinking Independently  ............................................................ 235 Contact  ................................................................................................................................................. Mind Persuasion Kindle Books  ................................................................................................

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Why Stories? Most people understand the necessity of building up some kind of social skills. We all recognize the value of being assertive, of being able to calmly say, "no," to ask for what we want. And even though most of us will do anything to avoid speaking in public, at the same time we know instinctively that if we could  speak in public, we'd make a lot more money. Many of us also realize that being able to persuade people is a good skill to a have. If you can effectively persuade people to do things, like buy products or go on date (or even go home with you) you'll be able to make more money and have better relationships. If you can combine the two, public speaking and persuasion, you can do a lot. You can "sell from the stage,"  you can become a world class, in-demand motivational speaker. You can even run for public office if you can eloquently pace and lead people on a large scale. But stories? How many people, when they are kids, want to become great storytellers? Can you even major in "storytelling" in college? Sure, you can study creative writing, literature, understand the necessity of character development, or perhaps go to Hollywood and learn filmmaking, but storytelling? Yet stories are everywhere. Which means if you can learn the art (or rather the skill, as we'll learn later) of storytelling, it may help you as much, perhaps even more, than being a persuasive speaker. We'll soon see that there is virtually no area of life that cannot be easily and quickly enhanced by being able to spin a quick tale.

Newspapers

Know why they call them "stories" even though they are about (allegedly) factual events? Because of how those factual events are structured. Perhaps you've seen a movie about the newspaper-reporter-hero, about to sniff out the big "story" that will change the world. They only have a hunch, so they try and pitch their idea to their editor. Their editor listens patiently and says, "I don't see the story." What does that mean? Facts are only worth reporting if they can be told in "story" form. For example, if you bought a newspaper and you found that the main "story" on the front page was about how farmers were coming along fine in the current carrot crop, you'd want a refund. Stories need to have structure. Stories need to have good guys and bad guys. Stories need to have tension. So, when the fictional editor says to the fictional reporter-hero, "I don't see the story," what she means is that there are no good guys, no bad guys, no tension, no underdog to root for. There's just some facts that don't seem interesting. The Moral of The Story Is...

Stories are the easiest ways to teach kids important lessons. All of Aesop's Fables come pre-written with the punch line at the end. Slow and steady wins the race. Preparing for winter is better than waiting for the last minute. If you're too greedy you'll lose everything. Why not  just tell kids, "Hey, if you are greedy, you'll make stupid mistakes, which will cost you more money in the long run." Because nobody likes advice, but everybody loves a story. And by telling stories, and creating characters that people

can relate to, we can impart wisdom from the inside out. If you simply give people advice, they may or may not take it. But when you lead them through a story, one where they follow along and identify with the characters, they'll feel the advice. They'll feel the loss that comes from greed.  They'll feel the tension as the rabbit takes a nap and is overcome by the slow but steady tortoise. Stories work because they do what Dale Carnegie taught about giving advice: "The best way to get somebody to do something is to let them think it is their idea."

You don’t need to have dreams of being a best-selling novelist, or to be remembered for thousands of years of writing short, entertaining but powerful fables. But if you can take a simple idea, wrap it in a story, and be able to tell it or write it effectively, you'll have a much better chance of getting your idea accepted and acted upon, whatever it is. Once Upon a Time

Luckily, there are plenty of ways to use the idea of "stories" without anybody even knowing you are telling stories. In later chapters, you'll learn how to pick simple stories from  your own experience, and combine them in ways that can move people to action. The action you'd like them to take. You'll learn how to create short metaphors that take only a moment to spit out, but will have a lasting impact on your listener. You'll learn how to be a hit at parties, how to mesmerize entire rooms, all while feeling extremely comfortable and never ever saying, "Hey, this reminds me

of a story, once up a time..." What's Ahead

You'll learn why it's nearly impossible to avoid telling stories. You'll learn why every time humans communicate, we are speaking metaphorically in one way or another. You'll learn why all humans, by virtue of being alive at this stage in our evolutionary history, are master (or can easily become master) storytellers. You'll learn how to rearrange what you are already doing, so that it becomes much more effective, much more entertaining, and much more powerful. Knowing Where to Tap

You know the one about the plumber, right? Guy's basement is flooded, so he calls the plumber. Plumber shows up, wanders around in the basement, starting at all the pipes. Finally, he taps once with his wrench, and the leak stops. "That'll be $500," the plumber said. "$500?!" the homeowner shrieks, wondering if maybe he should have tried some tapping himself. "But all you did was tap once with your wrench!" "That's true," said the wealthy plumber, "but it's knowing where to tap that's the trick." What's this got to do with stories? (Other than being a story illustrating an aspect of stories inside a book about how to tell stories...) Armed with why and how stories work, you'll

be the one doing the tapping. Imagine this. You're at a party, listening to your friends grumbling about something or other like friends tend to do. You wait for a long enough period of silence, and then say a few words. These words hit home. These words not only pace the problem, but offer a unique and elegant solution. The same words that turn frowns into smiles as they look at you and nod, "Wow, that's so true!" You want to become a master storyteller so you can spin tales, help your friends, and get people thinking exactly the way you want them to, all while entertaining and enlightening them at the same time? Keep reading!

Rich Communication Chomsky made his mark on the world with his theory of  Transformational Grammar, which was also instrumental in helping Bandler and Grinder make sense of NLP, as they understood it at the time. If you've ever read, "The Structure of Magic," you'll find it filled with "language trees" that Chomsky created. Chomsky realized that all human languages have more or less the same structure. Nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, particles. He concluded that since all human languages follow the same structure they are the same language, only different dialects. Stephen Pinker in "The Language Instinct," describes how we have these (either metaphorical or literal) language "switches" in our brains. When kids are between zero and around two, they are "setting" these switches. That is, they are trying to figure out the unique structure of their "local dialect." For example, English is a S-V-O (subject - verb - object) language. I eat peanut butter. Japanese, on the other hand is a S-O-V language. I peanut butter eat. The rules for other structures (how exactly adjectives modify nouns, adverbs modify verbs, now phrasal structures work, etc.) is what children are trying to figure out (unconsciously and instinctively, of course,) when they are spitting out gibberish. Word Fountains

But once they get all the "language switches" figured out for their local "dialect" (e.g. English or Spanish or Russian, etc.) that's when they suddenly turn into non-stop word factories. Interestingly enough, as Pinker points out in "Words and Rules," the mistakes kids make are when they assume the sentences they are saying are based in the

structure, as they understand it. It almost always when they incorrectly assuming a verb is regular when it's irregular. The say things like "I petted the dog" instead of "I pet the dog," since they are relying on the language structure rather than using irregular verbs, as Pinker shows must be memorized one by one, rather than understood structurally. Language Instinct

It's clear that one of our big selling points, (as animals) is our use of language. Sure, chimps and gorillas can learn a few hundred sign language symbols, but nothing remotely close to the rich tapestry we can weave with our words. The wonderful mental imagery based on pure hallucinations, that we can transfer from our heads into the heads of our fellow humans. If all we could do was grunt to one another, how could we ever have invented shopping malls or microwavable burritos? Language binds us together, it helps us console one another and uplift one another. It helps us describe complicated ideas, and complicated things that aren't even invented yet. As we'll see later, our ability to transfer ideas from one head to another goes far beyond transferring simple data, like when you backup your computer every day. We transfer not just complicated ideas from one head to another, but how we'd like our friends and colleagues to think about those complicated ideas. Chocolate Chip Cookies

 Think of the steps involved in making a few dozen cookies. First mix the flour and the water. Then add the eggs. Then

the sugar. Finally add the chocolate chips. Then preheat the oven. While the oven is heating up, take out a few cookie sheets and spread a few dabs of oil on them. Then take the cookies in small lumps and place them a few inches apart. Put in the oven, and wait patiently for twenty minutes. Take them out, let them cool, and eat them. A simple process but if will be disastrous if the steps aren't done in the correct order. Suppose you tried to bake the cookies before you heated up the oven. Or maybe you tried to pour the chocolate chips on top of the cookies after they were done baking. Or maybe you really goofed and mixed the flour and water, cooked that, and then tried to mix everything else in. A simple process conveyed through language. But when we tell stories, we do the same thing. We explain certain things in certain order. But instead of just mixing raw ingredients, we are creating characters and putting them through a specific sequence in a specific order. First, we get to know the character. Then the character faces some difficulties.  Then the character meets some friends. Then the character and the friends join forces to kill the bad guy. Along the way, one of the good guy dies, but they kill the bad guy in the end. When you pay attention to the instructions, you get several delicious cookies. Or when you pay attention to the story,  you are moved through emotions. Certain emotions that pay off in a way that will help you defeat your demons in  your own life. Stories can be thought of as idea recipes to get people thinking the deep emotions you'd like them to feel. Reason for Language

Why did we talking monkeys learn to talk in the first place? Was it to convey information, or was it for something much deeper? We tend to pick up and develop traits, over the long period of our evolutionary history, because those with the traits tended to do better than those without. So, what is the benefit of having language? Obviously, there are many. But as we'll soon learn, one of the prime reasons we make sounds other than grunts is something you can do much more effectively as a skilled storyteller. What's the Punchline?

Aesop's Fables are unique in that they are very clear in their purpose. The message of the famous Tortoise and the Hare is to convince us to take our time. It says it right there at the end, "Slow and steady wins the race." But with other stories, it's not so easy. Sometimes stories are told  just for the sake of keeping us entertained. But even then, there are certain story structures we respond to more than others. Like our metaphorical newspaper editor. Stories need to have good guys and bad guys, tension, and plenty of other things. The deeper meaning of stories, even when the meaning of a particular story isn't clear, is that there is a deeper meaning. Every story was concocted to create an emotional impact. And like all communication, stories are a tool to do one primary function. And that is to persuade. Let's talk about that next.

All Communication Is Persuasion Many people believe that communication is only partly used for persuasion, and mostly used for transmitting data. However, very rarely do we communicate and only want to transmit data. Even if we think we are only transmitting data, we are doing so under a larger context of getting some kind of intention fulfilled. It's nearly impossible to separate our communication from the surrounding actions, all which are in flux and dependent on the flow of data between two communicators. As they say in NLP, "you can't not communicate." We can take that to mean "You can't not persuade." Let's look at a few seemingly trivial examples. Asking for The Time

So, you're on the street away from home. There are no clocks in sight, and you're supposed to meet a friend at half past two. You left your phone in your car. You want to know the time. You make a request, and ask a passerby. On one level, you requested information and you received information. But what was your request? A merely transfer of information? If it was indeed only a transfer of information, what would the information be? "I don't know what time it is." How about, "I need to meet my friend at half past two and I don't know the time." Suppose that this was a simple transfer of information. Would you have been happy in that situation if everybody you transferred that piece of data to only smiled in return? Not likely. The process of asking politely is to generate a needed response. You wanted them to pause in whatever they were doing, stop thinking about whatever they were thinking, and look at the time, and then look at you and tell you the time. For

most people, this happens quickly and barely consciously. If you were a wanted criminal and the police later asked the time-giver what you looked like, they would scarcely remember. Another aspect of this simple transaction is polite behavior. Did you ask calmly, with a smile? Or did  you scream at them with the wild eyes of an escaped lunatic? Chances are you asked them politely. Perhaps polite behavior is a subconscious attempt to elicit the proper behavior, or to avoid unwanted behavior. You might even say that polite behavior exists to make persuasion more likely. Squeezing Out the Subway Door

What about wordless communication? Suppose you're hanging there balancing between two people on the A train at rush hour. Your stop is coming up, and there are two people between you and the door. As the train slows to a stop, what do you do? If you're like most people, you push  just slightly toward the door, knowing that the people standing between you and the door will understand what's going on, and move back slightly. A large collection of unconscious, non-verbal but mutually agreed upon behavior. Whenever the train slows to stop, make way for whoever's getting off, and whoever's getting on. Do you need to make eye contact with the people you need to push past? No, you don't. Do they need to make eye contact with  you? No, they don't. But the same dance happens in every large city with a subway system several hundred times per day. You want to elicit a specific response from them. You behave in a way that makes that response likely. You communicated your desire to them to get out of your way. Your desire for them to, if only for a moment, shift their thinking enough to accommodate your needs. To persuade

them in the easiest and most effective way possible. Don't Say a Word

Let's say you're at the office. It's nearly quitting time on Friday. Your buddy is having a party, and you want to invite one of your coworkers, but not the other one. Finally,  you've got about twenty seconds of free time. (Assume if  you use your personal device you'll be fired. No texting allowed!) You take advantage of the free twenty seconds. "Hey, party at Christy's tonight, but keep it to  yourself," you say. Before your coworker can reply, the coworker you don't want to invite pops in. "Hey, what are you guys doing tonight, anything?" he says, looking first at you and then your friend. You give her the universally understood look of, "don't say a word!" "Nothing," she says, to your relief. When you mentioned the party, you were intending to persuade her to come. When the unwanted coworker popped in, you wanted to persuade her to be quiet. Both of you acted in a way to persuade the unwanted coworker to leave you both alone. Highly Social Animals

Humans are very social. We hate being alone, that is when we don't want to be. Study after study shows this in primates and humans. Solitary confinement is the worst punishment for prisoners. Not only are we social creatures, but we are social creatures that are always communicating with one another. And every communication, every look, or lack thereof, is intended to create a desired response, even if it's it get somebody to ignore us. Little kids instinctively know this and do this when the teacher asks a question

nobody knows. Their body language is screaming, "Don't call on me!" Just Saying

Sometimes, though, we pretend we are only "just saying." Pay close attention next time you say this, or somebody else says this. This innocent phrase is used when something is said, it doesn't have the intended effect, so we backtrack. Say you're hanging out with your friends, trying to figure out what to do on a Saturday night. You mention that your neighbor, the guy the collects butterflies and has them pinned all over his walls, is hosting a lecture in entomology at his apartment tonight. Everybody looks at  you with stone faces. "Just saying," you say before timidly breaking off eye contact. Perhaps you wanted to elicit a laugh, and it didn't work. Perhaps you are secretly in love with your bug loving neighbor, but now you're embarrassed. But when you say, "Just saying," you're not "Just saying." The act of saying, "Just saying," is an attempt to persuade. To persuade your friends that you didn't really mean what you just said. All Persuasion All the Time

So, let's assume then, that all communication, verbal or not, is an attempt to persuade. To elicit something from other people. Information, laughter, behavior, whatever. In the next few chapters, we'll look over different methods of persuasion from a structural level.

Hard Sell What is the dreaded "hard sell?" It's those highly confrontational sales situations. Cars, timeshares, any kind of environment where the whole scenario, including the furniture is designed to keep you stuck while you have no choice but to listen to the salesperson. Most people have a hard time saying, "no." This is leveraged during the hard sell. The longer you sit there, the more likely you'll buy.  This type of persuasion shows up in a lot of places, a lot more than most of us realize. We are exposed to it, and we ourselves do it. Overt Sales

Any time you are in a shop and the salesperson has a vested interest in selling you something, (they are making a commission) the hard sell (one some level) is going to be present. Think of you with your ideas in your mind. When  you speak, you take those ideas, turn them into words, and present them to the person you are talking to. Three things can happen. One is your ideas will go into their head. Another is that their ideas will go into your head. The third is when both of your ideas mix together and then go back into each of your respective heads. Kind of a goofy way to describe it, but this simple metaphor is a good way to understand persuasion. Any sales will involve the sales person taking their ideas (you should buy this product because X, Y and Z) and putting them into your head as effectively as possible. Advice

Any time we give advice, whether it's asked for or unasked

for, we are taking our ideas and attempting to put them into somebody else's head. If you don't like unasked for advice, but aren't sure why, or how to respond, let's dig in a little bit and see what's happening. Suppose you’re hungry, so you go into kitchen. You get out a couple of slices of bread and some peanut butter. You are just about to dig the knife into the jar and start spreading when your significant other walks in. "You're just eating peanut butter by itself? You should at least put some jelly on there," they say and look at you as if you're committing a mortal sin. You pause, and feel a bit conflicted. If you follow their advice, you may feel a bit foolish, since you're so easily bossed around. On the other hand, if you ignore them and continue in your sandwich building, you feel as if you're being rude. After all, they're  just trying to help, right? Well, maybe, maybe not. In the situation with a significant other, chances are they really are trying to help. But they're also looking at you doing something, and deciding that they know more about the situation than you do. Clearly, you're in your own kitchen and you know how to make a sandwich. You probably have a lot of experience with both plain peanut butter sandwiches and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. So why do they assume they know more about the situation than you do? Why do they assume that their opinion on what you eat is more important than your opinion on what  you eat? This "feeling" of somebody else forcing their ideas into your brain is much more pronounced when advice comes from acquaintances and colleagues, especially when it's beyond the reason for your relationship (coworkers giving personal advice, etc.) Might Makes Right

In its barest form, any kind of unasked for advice giving, or any type of hard sell is based on the ancient "law" of "might makes right." Whoever can describe their idea the most forcefully usually wins. This happens in presidential debates, barstool arguments and Internet forums. Despite us humans thinking we are logical and rational, this is rarely the case. Without needing to take an extended detour into logic, suffice it to say that few arguments are ever about logic. My idea vs. your idea, and whoever can describe their idea with the most passion, the most tenacity, and sometimes the most violently will win. While "might makes right" is usually associated with armies and empires, it's the same structure everywhere, even with little kids on a school yard. "You're a poopie head!" "Am not!" "Are too!"  This goes on until one person gives up. Whoever gives up first (or whoever blinks first or looks away first or speaks first, depending on the situation) loses. Only when two parties agree on a mutually desire outcome, and then use logic, science and mathematics to find the most effective way to arrive at that mutually agreed upon outcome, is the "might makes right" rule not present. How to Tell

If you find yourself in the middle of an argument, and  you're wondering how much of it is based on "might makes right" and how much isn't, ask yourself these questions: How much do I know about my opponent’s intentions and

desires? How much does my opponent know about my intentions and desires?

If the answer is "not much" then both of you, on some level, are using the "might makes right" strategy of persuasion. Sure, you may be friendly, you may be smiling, you may even be best friends or lovers, but if you are both trying to get your point or idea across without regard to the other's point or idea, you're using the oldest game in the book. Chimpanzee Politics

A fascinating book by Frans de Waal (Chimpanzee Politics) studied the complicated social structure of chimps. And guess what? They are very similar to us humans. And since chimps are our closest ancestors (our DNA is 98% similar) and it's believed we split off from chimps about six million  years ago, you might say that the "might makes right" strategy of persuasion literally is the oldest trick in the book. Outside In

 Thinking back in terms of the ideas in your head, and the ideas in their head, the hard sell, or the might-makes-right persuasion strategy is based on putting your ideas into their head with little regard to their ideas, or at most some basic assumptions about your ideas. In our peanut butter example, the advice giver assumed the peanut butter eater was hungry, and that was enough. From a hard sell standpoint, once we have a basic idea of what they want, we're ready to barrage them with unending advice until

they either give in, or run away. Luckily, persuading through the art of storytelling depends very little on the hard sell. But before we dive into storytelling, let's look at another form of persuasion next.

Less Harder Sell A much preferable way to persuade than to hammer people with your ideas until they flee is to base our recommendations and advice around their criteria, what they want. You can think of this as a much more "enlightened" approach. While the hard sell generally requires a certain kind of personality (e.g. high charisma, thick skin, etc.) the soft sell is much easier. It involves first asking them about their wants and needs. On one end of the spectrum, a soft sell persuader will ask them about their wants and needs until they get enough information.  Then they leverage, or "match" what they want with what the persuader has. The more effectively you can do this, the more easily you can persuade nearly everybody you meet, so long as you have whatever they are looking for. What If There's No Match?

 There's an idea in persuasion that you can convince people to do things against their will. Think of a poor, unassertive customer who meekly walks onto a car lot. The super charismatic sales person walks up, and doesn't even ask what they want. They show them a few cars, then take them inside. After an hour of hammering them, the poor customer walks away the proud owner of a $50,000 SUV. Was he persuaded against his will? Not really. Most people don't have much of a will. The idea of doing something against somebody's will requires they have an idea in mind of what they want when they first walk on the car lot. If the car shopper was specifically looking for a pink station wagon, then selling them anything other than that would be persuading them against their will. But remember the hard sell is based on might makes right, so another way to

describe it would be whoever has the strongest will wins. But if they sort of  want a pink car, and they end up buying a blue car, were they really persuaded against their will? Maybe, maybe not. It all depends on the idea of criteria.  Think of the last time you went to get something to eat, either at a fast food restaurant or at a regular restaurant, but when the time came to choose, you couldn't decide.  This is very common, and it happens to most of us, most of the time. You have one level of criteria (hunger for a certain kind of food, that's why you chose that particular restaurant) but as for what do you want specifically, you don't really know. Let's call your desire for a certain kind of food your vague criteria. And your eventual choice of what  you're going to eat (tacos or burritos, for example) your specific criteria. To the extent that a soft sell persuader can help you move from vague criteria to specific criteria, everybody's happy. Nobody was persuaded against anybody's will, and all wants and needs were respected. If  you've ever asked any food service worker for their recommendation, you were effectively asking them to help  you move from vague criteria to specific criteria. Because few people ever walk around with specific criteria (we generally wait until the last possible minute) being an effective soft sell persuader will help you in nearly every situation you encounter yourself in. How to Soft Sell

 The first step is to simply find out what they want. Since most people have vague criteria, this is usually pretty easy. Even if it's a social conversation, you can ask about their hobbies, their job, and what they like about it, and then transition this into asking about what they'd like their

future to be. People like talking about their vague criteria, and it feels good to "try on" different specific criteria. Meaning if somebody started asking you about your job, and then started asking you about what kind of job you might like in five years, it would be an enjoyable conversation. You could extrapolate what you like about  your current job, and what skills you might learn over the next few years. Having a conversation about different potential futures is an enjoyable thing to do. In fact, that's what we humans like to do best. Dream about a future that is much better than our present, even if we love our present situation. This is precisely why the soft sell, even if  you aren't selling anything, is very respectful, very friendly and pleasant. If you're actually intending on persuading people, it's rather easy, so long as you have several things that might serve as effective specific criteria for their vague criteria. Even if you are with friends and you all have the same vague criteria (go out and have fun on a Friday night) discussing what different specific criteria might fit your collective vague criteria (have fun on Friday night) is something people generally enjoy. Common Themes

Hopefully you've noticed a couple of common themes between the hard sell and the soft sell. Both require that  you have a conversation with them (you being the persuader) about what they want. So long as you are in a position to ask them what their vague criteria is, and then make some suggestions about specific criteria that might fulfill them, you're good. If you're talking to friends and family, everybody can feel involved and get their needs met.

Nobody will feel as though they are being forced to accept unasked for advice. If you are in sales, and you have a good idea of what your customers want, or better, are in a position to ask them and discuss it, you'll also do fairly well. However, this soft sell technique, despite how natural it is (most waiters or waitresses who are asked for recommendations don't need sales training), it does have its limitations. There are certain situations where asking somebody what they want isn't possible or appropriate. Let's look over some of those situations in the next chapter.  Then we'll have an idea of all of the different situations we'd like to be more persuasive in, and we'll see how storytelling can be very effective in all of them.

Unknown Criteria  There are several situations where you'll be talking to somebody, and you have a good idea of what you'd like to happen as a result, but you can't exactly ask them what their vague criteria are. Before we figure out how to use storytelling in those situations, let's take a look at a few of them. Public Speaking

Sometimes we give speeches just because we've got to give speeches. If you are in school, you might have to give a speech for a class. If you are in Toastmasters, you might be giving speeches with the sole reason of getting better at giving speeches, or to increase your overall self-confidence. In both of these cases, you're not really concerned with the vague criteria of your audience, (other than to make your speech interesting enough so they don't fall asleep). You  just want to get your speech over without having a heart attack. Other situations you would like to impact the audience. You would like to get them to take action. You may decide to speak to your city council members and get them to increase spending to fix the potholes in your neighborhood. You might be giving a speech to your neighborhood community to get people to participate more in the neighborhood watch program. You might even find yourself selling from the stage, where you have a product or service in back and you've got twenty minutes to get as many people to buy your product or sign up for your service as  you can. What can you say to these people with unknown criteria in order to effectively persuade them?

Written Sales Pages

Even if you aren't a hired copywriter, if you have ever maintained a blog, or have written online articles for any subject, it's not likely you just wanted people to read your words only to pass the time. You likely hoped they would take certain action, or at the very least have a shift in opinion after reading what you've written. But even worse than public speaking (where you can watch people as you speak, and kick it up a bit if they start to nod off) you might not have any idea about the mindset or even the demographics of your readers. How do you handle this situation? Making Friends and Lovers

Suppose you go to a social event with the intention of making a friend of even creating a romantic relationship. While you will find yourself in a one-on-one conversation with them, you can't really ask what they're vague criteria is. "So, what are you looking for in a one night stand?" If public speaking and written sales letter make it logistically difficult to learn the criteria of your listeners and readers, then social situations make it in appropriate. We all would like to have more friends and better relationships, but we also would very much like them to happen naturally and organically. So, if somebody we don't know starts to ask overt questions about things we would rather keep spontaneous and natural, it will definitely feel a bit off.

Helping Family Members and Friends

Suppose you know somebody is having problems. You know they are in a bad situation, one you may have even been in before. But the trouble is that you aren't sure if they know they are in a bad situation. One classic example of this is the "love is blind" syndrome. A friend is in a horrible relationship, perhaps abusive, but they are terrified to leave. Or perhaps, through the miracle of selfdeception and cognitive dissonance, they believe their partner "isn't that bad," or "doesn't really mean it" when they say or do the abusive things. From the outside in, it's clear to everybody that the relationship is toxic and needs to end. But if you tell them that overtly, it will might backfire. What do you do then? Not only is asking about their criteria not appropriate, but also, it's not likely they'll admit to needing any advice in the first place. How would  you handle this situation? Typical Techniques Features and Benefits

One tactic in the hard sell, that is also utilized when you can't ask for criteria is the "features and benefits" model. Either in a one-on-one hard sell, or a speech to people you haven't spoken with, the structure is the same. You have an outcome in mind, something you'd like them to do. You try to think of as many "logical" sounding reasons as possible. You might even sit down and brainstorm a few before you begin. "What would be a good reason to sign up for monthly dental cleaning?" you ask yourself, and then write down five or ten answers. You hammer the customer

in a hard sell, or if you are giving a speech you spit out as many features and benefits as you can in the time you've been given, and hope for the best. Best Behavior

When making friends and lovers, we tend to be on our best behavior, in hopes of "impressing" the other person. We wear nice clothes, put on nice perfume or cologne, and make sure to put our best foot forward, all the while pretending that we're being our natural selves. We laugh at their jokes and hope they laugh at ours. We tell them things about ourselves, our skills, and our dreams, in hopes of impressing them. We may even go so far as to rehearse certain lines and routines. Interventions - The Ultimate Hard Sell

If you've ever been involved in an intervention, then you know they are a hard sell on steroids. Lots of tears, and little chance of escape. At least if you're cornered by a car salesman, you can pretend you forgot your ID. But if you find yourself on either end of an intervention, it's an all or nothing. If it fails, everybody ends up hating and blaming everybody. Even if it succeeds, it may take a long while before the person being helped acknowledges that the interveners had their best interests at heart. Clumsy Persuasion

All of these are attempts at persuasion, but they are often ineffective, and clumsy. They require a lot of willpower and a lot of hope. If you've been in any of the above situations and wished there was a better way, you're in luck. Because

is what we'll start learning next. The elegance and power of storytelling, which can be used in nearly any situation you find yourself in.

Ancient Persuasion Now, before we start conversations with "once upon a time," we need to understand precisely why stories work so well, and have worked well since the dawn of time, long before written language. Remember the basic structure of persuasion. We want to communicate to people in a way that will compel them to action, an action that we will find beneficial in some way (otherwise we wouldn't be b e interested in communicating to them). This action can be as simple as laughing at one of our jokes, or it could be for them to finally feel confident to leave an abusive relationship. Either way, we have an idea of an action we'd like to take.  To start, we've got the ideas in our own head, and and the ideas in their head. And for one reason or another, we can't simply ask them what they want, and then show them how, by taking our suggested action, they can get it. We can't ask them what they find funny in a joke. We need to know what they find funny, so we can make them laugh. We can't ask them what's important to them in a relationship, (if we are trying to induce them to leave an abusive one) because they'll suspect we're up to something. We just need to have an idea of what's important to them, and then figure out a way to make it happen. In both cases, which we can consider two extremes (telling a simple  joke and inducing somebody to leave leave an abusive relationship) we need to assume  things about what they want. At first glance, this seems to be the strategy of the hard sell. We simply slather them with features and benefits until they see our point of view. However, as you can imagine, this won't work when telling jokes, and this certainly won't work when trying to convince somebody to

leave an abusive relationship. So, the features and benefits strategy, or plain old giving advice, which is pretty similar in structure, are options that aren't available to us. Luckily, there are some ways to understand what other people want, without having to ask them. Milton Erickson, the inventor of covert hypnosis, had thousands of patients whom he helped merely by telling stories. How did he do this? One thing he noticed was that after a few hundred (or perhaps a few dozen) he saw that most people who had the same problems had them for the same reasons. Which meant he started to become much more efficient in his storytelling. Noam Chomsky, who came up with the idea of "Transformational Grammar" had the idea of a "Universal Language," which we mentioned before. The idea is that the basic components of grammar is the same across all languages. It only differs in order. (S-V-O vs. S-O-V for example). Chomsky postulated that there is really only one language filled with hundreds or thousands of "local dialects." Similarly, Donald Brown came up with an idea of a "Universal People." Chomsky's idea was that all languages share the same components, just in different order. Brown's theory was similar. All humans have the same "components," just expressed slightly differently. We all think in abstract thought. We all have some form of what he called "magic" built into our culture. We all believe in ideas that can't possibly be true. We all alter our speech when speaking to infants (baby talk). We all adorn our bodies in some way. Males dominate the politics in most societies. We all have our own forms of melodies that make

up our music. The list is extensive. Whether we like it or not, (most people are a little reluctant to accept that they are not nearly as "unique" as they'd like to believe) we are more similar than we are different. As a storytelling persuader, this is great news. Barnum Effect

If you've ever read a really vague horoscope and thought to  yourself, "Jeepers, that could apply to anybody," you were correct. This is how horoscopes work. They are so vague they really could be applied to anybody. For example, consider this "horoscope:" You are going to have to make a decision in the future. But because you have made several successful decisions on your past, you can use those th ose experiences to use less emotion and more logic. That way, when you do face that impending decision, you'll have much more confidence that it will be the right one.

 This can apply to every single person that can read English. Everybody has made decisions in the past. Everybody will make decisions in the future. As for "less emotions and more logic," how the heck could you even measure that? About the confidence, all is required is that  you reference the decisions you made that turned out OK. Anybody can do that, since everybody makes hundreds of decisions on a daily basis. And since you're alive reading this, some of those decisions turned out OK. Con Jobs?

 The Barnum Effect was named after P.T. Barnum, the

same guy who said, "There's a sucker born every minute." And it would seem that the Barnum Effect could easily be used to con people out of their money, which is how a lot of "psychics" tend to operate. But you don't have to con people. Let's take step back and see what we're doing with the Barnum Effect, or Barnum Statements that create the effect. We are saying something that is true for everybody, but when we say it carefully, it would sound unique and directed at the person we are speaking to. This is how all stories work. The same stories make everybody feel sad at the end, or excited at the end. Stories are like Barnum Statements, but in a very broad way. Slight Difference

But as Barnum Statements are primarily focused on convincing people that we (the person making the statement) know something that is "uniquely true" about them, stories have a slightly different focus. Think of a Barnum Statement as convincing the person we can see into their heads, and we can see their pictures, ideas, memories, hopes, fears, etc. And since we can see what they want, and what they fear, we are in a unique position to tell them what to do (which unfortunately usually involves them paying for questionable advice). Telling stories uses the same principle, but in a slightly different way. Think of telling stories as putting another set of ideas that are separate from our thoughts and their thoughts. We still have a good idea that they will look at this story (a metaphorical set of ideas outside of either of our heads) and take a certain action. We just don't need them to believe that we can see what's inside their heads. Leveraging Carnegie's Dictum

In a sense, we're using Dale Carnegies advice that we can convince anybody to do anything, so long as we convince them it was their idea. If we pretend we are psychic, and use some carefully created Barnum Statements, it won't be their idea, it will be our idea, and they'll acknowledge our idea. But they'll accept our idea since we would have convinced them we can look into their brains. But when we tell stories, we're still looking inside their brains (since we know that all our brains are pretty similar), but instead of using that to convince them of our superpowers of mind reading, we're just creating a story, placing it out there for them to look at, and then decide on their own for their own reasons, to take the action we wanted them to take anyway. But before we start spinning awesome tales of adventure, we to get a handle on what's inside everybody's brain, besides a bunch of squishy pink stuff.

Expanding Social Circles  Think about all the people you know. The people you interact with on a regular basis. Friends, associates, even people you see from time to time and have ever spoken to. Now think of some people that you'd like to meet in the future. The kind of new friends you'd like to make. The kinds of relationships you'd like to create. The job you might like in a year or so. The kind of boss you'd like to work for, the colleagues you'd enjoy. Got them in mind? Now let's try to imagine what they're like. Not just the people you already know, but the people you'll be meeting over the next few years. You already know much more about them than you likely realize. Let's look at some examples. (And to have some fun, if you are brave, think of  yourself as well while you read through these common truths). More Money

Every one of these people would like to have more money.  They all have bills to pay, and when they are done paying those bills, they wish they had more money left over. If they have any credit cards, they probably have too much debt, according to their own subjective ideas about debt. They would like to buy more things than they have money for.  They have plenty of experiences of wanting something, but not having enough money to buy it. They also have plenty of experiences of buying something, and then being disappointed with the results. Better Relationships

Unless they are extremely lucky, they would like to improve

their relationship, or perhaps create a relationship. If they have siblings or living parents, they are things they love about them, and things they secretly hate. If they are in a sexual relationship, chances are they aren’t getting enough sex, and the sex they are getting isn't quite as good as they think it could be. If they are in a relationship, chances are their eyes tend to wander from time to time. They might have a few spots they visit around town, just to let their eyes wander, but since they have a legitimate excuse for going there, they don't think it's a problem. Chances are they have a friend with which they enjoy sexual chemistry, even if they are both in an otherwise stable relationship. Less Anxiety

 There are some things in their life that cause anxiety. There are things that they worry about when they wake up in the middle of the night. There have some issues they'd like to fix, but are afraid of addressing directly. More Respect

 They don't get nearly the respect they deserve. If they have a job, they feel they are under-appreciated. Most people would love to have more respect. If they are married or live with their partner, they would enjoy getting more respect from their partner. More Admiration

Everybody loves admiration, but few of us are willing to admit it. We all buy new clothes hoping people will look at us and say how handsome or sexy we look. Billions of dollars are spent every year on clothing, accessories,

cologne, hairstyles, so we can get more admiration from the people we admire. More Validation

We all want to be seen. We all want people to notice us and see us for who we are, rather than what we look like. We all want to express our ideas, our fears, our wishes, our desires and have them recognized and understood. Many customer service people, for example, know that simply listening and pacing people's concerns and issues is usually enough to solve their problem. We all have problems and we wish somebody would just listen to us. We all have dreams and we would love for somebody to listen to us and tell us that they are valid dreams to have. More Recognition

We do things, and nobody says "thank you." We go the extra mile at work, at home, and people act like that's just what we are supposed to. Many marriages crumble over the  years because couples tend to take each other for granted. All humans crave more recognition for their efforts than they receive. More Freedom

Nobody likes to be told what to do and watched like a hawk. If we have a job, we wish our bosses would leave us alone. If we live in a house with several other people, we would like more time to ourselves. People that live in apartment complexes wish their neighbors didn't make so much noise. One of the reasons we all want more money is that money equates to more freedom. Everybody's got a

magic amount of money in mind that would allow them to give the world the finger and leave the rat race for good. More Safety

All of us fear physical danger, even if it's not ever present. We all know of certain neighborhoods we'd rather not go walking through alone at night. All of us have a certain threshold of things that are "safe" to do, and things that aren't so safe. More Support

No man or woman is an island. Nobody can go it alone all the time. All of us need support at one time or another, but when we ask, sometimes it doesn't come quite the way we'd like. We all secretly wish people would give us support without having to ask. Nobody likes standing at the counter and waiting while feeling like we are being ignored. Less Pain

All of the above can be categorized into two basic areas. We all want less pain in our lives. Less hunger, less loneliness, less physical suffering, less discomfort, less emotional anguish, less anxiety, less uncertainty, less fear. More Pleasure

Conversely, we all want more pleasure. More safety, better tasting food, larger homes, more money, more safety, better relationships, more hours of sleep, less hours of work, more vacation time, and on and on.

Mind Reading Strangers

As a homework assignment, take some time and watch people. Find a quiet place to sit and relax where plenty of people are walking past. Try and choose a location where  you can look at a person for a few seconds, as they walk by. Sort through this list, and look at these complete strangers through a lens of common wants and needs. For example, everybody has had an experience of wanting to buy something, but not having enough money. Try to watch the people walking buy, and guess what one of those possible situations was for them. Then imagine another common situation, like wishing their boss would leave them alone, and try to imagine that common situation.  This isn't to build up any "psychic" muscle in your brain, as you will most certainly be wrong when trying to guess the specifics of each person. But in imagining what it might be like for each person, you'll be building up a very strong, "all people are pretty similar" muscle in your brain. This will make storytelling much easier, as you'll be able to imagine each person's wants and needs with a lot of accuracy when you start spinning tales.

Story Power Let's see where we are. We've looked various ways of persuasion, of getting ideas from your head into their head. We know that people have vague desires and if we can ask them about their vague desires we can help them satisfy them with specific criteria. However, we've also discovered that not all situations allow us to ask them what they want. In some, like social situations and complex emotional situations, we have to make some assumptions about what they want. Luckily, by taking a look inside our own brains, and making some calculated assumptions about the people we interact with, we can know a great deal about what they want. Since we've got to persuade them covertly, rather than give them blatant advice, we need to construct a story. Let's look at the good points, and some of the drawbacks we'll need to address, about telling stories. The Good Conscious Critic

A conscious critic is a metaphor for an automatic part of us that questions unknown information from unknown sources. All advice is in direct opposition to the conscious critic. Even if we are hanging with our buddies, and we give unasked for advice, their conscious critic is going to question our advice. Because all of us have experience giving advice, and we know on a deep level that when we give advice we are intending to impose our ideas on others, we know that's what's going on when others give us advice. When you use carefully worded Barnum Statements, the main reason is to switch off the conscious critic. But stories do this even better. Stories are pretend. Pretend

people doing pretend things. They have nothing to do with us, so we can sit back and listen. They are entertaining, we don't have to do much thinking (unless we're reading or watching a good mystery), and we'll get to experience a lot of real emotions without having to go through the same experiences that create those emotions. It's like getting to enjoy the taste of ice cream without the calories! And if the emotional states are set up in the right order, it can offer us a real feeling of "release." The Ancient Greeks referred to this experience as "Catharsis." Covert Advice

Stories allow us to give covert advice. For example, let's say  you had a friend that needed to give a speech for work or school, but they were terrified. You could give them advice to practice, or to picture everybody in their underwear, or to give themselves some positive affirmations before the speech. But unless they specifically asked you for advice, they might not take it. But you could easily whip up a story about a friend of yours (or a movie you saw or a story you heard from a friend of a friend) that was in a similar situation. They had to give a speech, they only had two days to prepare, and they passed out from fear every time they thought about it. But then they read some weird story on the Internet about how to picture people in their underwear, and it worked like magic. Your friend would follow along with the story, and unconsciously see themselves as the main character, as we often do when we watch movies or hear stories. Your friend might not remember consciously, but they may get idea to look for ideas online about how to picture people in their underwear.

Carnegie's Dictum

Stories apply Carnegie's advice perfectly. They listen to the story, they can't help but imagine themselves in the "hero's role" and subconsciously go along with the hero as they solve their problems. Later, they see their own problems a little differently, due to the story, and are able to solve their problem all believing, (rightly so) as if it were their idea. In this respect, stories are merely examples of other people (real or made up) that were in similar situations that solved their problems. We're just "putting it out there" for them to do whatever they want. However, just like we are pretty certain if we put the right food in front of a bunch of kids at a party (cake, ice cream, cookies, etc.) they'll eat it, if we understand their problem correctly as well as what they want, our stories will be acted upon with just as much certainty as those cookies will be eaten. Stories Create Instant Rapport

When we persuade people, rapport is essential. One of the problems many sales people face is they don't take enough time to create rapport. They merely assume it and then charge ahead with their features and benefits. But when we tell stories, the rapport is instant. But it's not with us, it's with the characters in the story. Because the characters in the story are necessarily vague (unless you're going to spend a few hours giving them an exhaustive back history),  your listener or readers will fill in the blanks with their own experience. And people tend to assume that characters in stories are very similar to them. You can create quick rapport between your story's characters and your listeners or readers much more quickly and deeply than you can create it between them (listeners or readers) and you.

Most Stories Have Happy Endings

Once you start a story, your listener or reader will automatically and unconsciously remember all the other stories they've ever heard, seen or read. And since most of them have had happy endings, they'll naturally assume  your story has a happy ending as well. This will make them slip right into a natural "story trance." The Bad

However, many stories absolutely and completely miss their mark. In fact, most stories are assumed to be told only for entertainment value. If you want your listeners or readers to take action, you'll need to be very careful to construct your story as closely to their wants and needs as possible. If you're telling a story for simple reasons, like to get people to laugh, or try a new restaurant, this is pretty easy. But if you have a more complicated issue on your hands, like convincing a friend to leave an abusive relationship, you have to be very careful to pace their wants and needs, as well as any anxieties they have about their future. For example, let's say you have a close friend who is in an abusive relationship. You assume they are worried that if they leave, they won't find another partner. So, you come up with a story about a friend who fell in love a week after breaking up. However, if the real issue is that they are afraid of leaving because they fear the person will harm themselves once they leave, your story (of the person leaving a relationship and then falling in love) will miss its mark, and may even have the opposite effect. Meaning now they'll imagine leaving the relationship, falling in love, and their ex will harm themselves in some way, which will

make them more likely to stay in the relationship. Good Much More Than Bad

Luckily, as we'll learn later, the good things about persuading with storytelling far outweigh the bad, as you'll soon be able to construct powerful stories on the fly that will help people with even the most complex of problems.

Universal Stories So far, we've talked the idea of "universals" things that we all have in common, regardless of language, regardless of where and even when we live. One of these is the idea of a Universal Grammar, postulated by Linguist Noam Chomsky. All languages have verbs, nouns, subjects, etc.  The only difference is the order in which they are arranged. Another is the idea of a "Universal Person" postulated by Donald Brown. We all use baby talk, we all are secretive about our sexual practices, most political leaders are men, etc. Now we can start to talk about the idea of a "Universal Story," which luckily follows a similar pattern. It's also a story you may have heard, read or seen several dozen, or perhaps several hundred times.  Joseph Campbell made it his career to study mythology from all different cultures of the world. And just like Chomsky found a Universal Language, Brown found a Universal People, Campbell found a Universal Story. He called it the "Hero's Journey." Harry Potter, Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz," Luke Skywalker, Peter Parker (Spiderman), Neo from "The Matrix," all of these characters and their stories follow the "Hero's Journey" template. In a very vague sense, it's about a normal person with a normal life who feels they have normal skills. They are pulled, usually kicking and screaming (metaphorically, and you'll see why that metaphor is particularly useful later on), on their journey. Along the way, they meet some new friends, discover some new skills and have to kill some kind of bad guy. Voldermort, Darth Vader, The Wicked Witch, and all of Spiderman's enemies. After they kill the bad guy, they return to their "normal world" only with much higher status, actualization and fulfillment.

Hero's Journey Stages

 There are three (or four) main stages of the Hero's Journey as it has been told. These are the three stages anybody you tell a story to will be most familiar with. If you can match whatever story you are telling, for whatever purpose, to these three stages, your story, however long or short, will have much more of an impact. Orphan Stage

Peter Parker lived with his aunt and uncle. So did Luke Skywalker. So did Harry Potter. Many hero's start their  journey with their parents already out of the picture. They are an orphan in some way. They are devoid of the parental guiding wisdom and support system. They are not quite fully adult, but they don't have "real" parents to help them. Sometimes, as in the case of Peter Parker, (Spiderman) his adoptive parents are supportive and helpful. Peter Parker's uncle coined the famous line, "With great power comes great responsibility." Some adoptive parents are downright rotten, as in Harry Potter's case. But however, the hero starts his or her journey, they are somehow more disadvantaged that most normal folks. Why is this? Perhaps most of us feel disadvantaged in some way, and we resonate mostly with hero's that start out equally disadvantaged. Perhaps we all like to root for the underdog.  There could be many reasons, each of which could fill several lengthy books. But for the purposes of this guide, it's enough to understand that if you want to create sympathetic characters that your audience will fall into quick and deep rapport with make sure they start out as an underdog in some way. In later chapters, we'll look at

many different ways to do this, but for now we'll stick to the basic structure. Kicking and Screaming

 This is when the Hero is called to the journey but they initially refuse. This doesn't happen all the time, however. But most of the time, the hero is called, and they kind of chicken out at first. Peter Parker wasn't ready to become Spiderman until his selfishness got his uncle killed. Luke wasn't quite ready to join up with Obi Won until he found his aunt and uncle killed. Dorothy had to be pulled up into a tornado to go on her journey. The typical path from the Orphan stage to the next stage is usually something bigger than the hero that forces them onto the path. They usually don't have much of a choice. Wandering Stage

 This is stage two, where the hero is on the path, but they're kind of stumbling around trying to figure out what's what.  This is the stage where they meet their friends, and clumsily learn about their new skills. This is when Luke was trying to feel his way around The Force. He was on the  journey, but he was pretty clueless. Harry Potter had to go through a lot of wizard training between the time he knew he was a wizard, and when he actually was a wizard. Warrior Stage

 This is when the hero has things more or less figured out. But he's not quite sure if his skills are enough to beat the bad guy. This is usually the last third of the story when everybody knows, (good guys, bad guys, audience) that a

fight is going to happen, and the tension is building. From a purely entertainment standpoint, it's not that interesting if we absolutely know that the hero is going to kill the bad guy. We've got to have a little bit of doubt. This is usually done by having the hero know about his skills, or the skills he's supposed  to have (Jedi, wizard, web spinning, etc.) but we (the hero and the audience with whom the hero resonates) aren't sure if the skills are going to be enough.  Then the final battle happens, and the hero, by digging deep, relying on the loyalty of his friends, and usually trying something for the first time, manages to kill the bad guy. Killing the Bad Guy

Luke decided to switch of his targeting computer, and "use the force," trusting his inner skills to blow up the Death Star. In the famous scene from "The Matrix," Neo finally figured the system out just at the right moment, as Mr. Smith shot him and Neo managed to slow down and duck out of the way of the bullet in the famous scene. Dorothy learned that she had the power within her at all times to get back home. Also, her buddies learned that what they sought most (brains, courage, heart) they had all along. The Message

However, you create your stories, for whatever purpose, the message is the same. You have all you need inside you, right here, right now. You don't need to learn any special skills. You don't need to wait for a certain time. All you've got to do is have faith in your ability, and you will succeed.  This is the message of the same story, the Hero's Journey, that has been told and retold since the dawn of time. The

great paradox of the hero's journey is we all have everything we need, inside of us. Inasmuch as you can convey this to your listeners and readers, shaped and targeted toward their own unique and individual issues,  you will be successful.

Yeah, But Why? It will help to understand why all of the Hero's Journey stories are told the way they are. Recognizing that humans who have never encountered one another share the same story structures is fairly amazing. For example, in Europe and in Asia, long before there was much contact between the two societies, both had ideas of giant reptiles that breathed fire. European dragons look more or less like giant lizards, and Asian dragons are more like giant snakes, but they are both giant reptiles that breath fire. How in the world did something like this happen? Joseph Campbell reasoned there can only be two possible answers. One is that both characters or stories (or creatures in this case) came from the same source. Meaning that once upon a time, there was one single society that later branched out across the Earth. And because we all come from the same society, we all share the same stories. The only other possible answer was that we share the same structure. Our minds, our families, our experiences are similar, so when we create imaginary stories filled with imaginary people doing imaginary things, they tend to have the same structure as well. Dragons

 Think for a moment about why a group of ancients would come up with the idea of giant lizards that breathe fire. One thing that is common in many areas of the world are poisonous snakes. Since ancient people didn't understand much about biology and chemistry, they only knew that if these tiny but deadly slithering things bit us they would kill us. And when you have a very sharp and very localized pain (that would come from a snakebite) it may seem to

"burn like fire." It's not a stretch to imagine that both cultures had an experience of slithering reptiles appearing out of nowhere (snakes usually hide pretty well under rocks), biting with "fire like pain" and then the person later dying. It's also not a stretch to imagine that these people would use these real life "monsters" as a basis for much larger, "imaginary monsters." Hero's Template

 Think of the basic hero's journey. A guy or girl is an orphan (or feels like one in some way or another) and is called to larger life. It sounds cool, but at the same time it sounds pretty scary. So, they say, "Yeah, uh, no." Then they are forced on the journey. They don't have a choice. Then they make friends, learn new things, and realize the purpose of their "journey" or their life. There's some bad guy they've got to stop or kill, (or a giant space station to blow up.)  They take care of business, and enter the next phase of their lives. Has this ever happened to you? Being Born

 There you were in your mother's womb. Safe and comfortable, but pretty bored. Luke on his farm. Peter Parker in high school. Dorothy on her farm. Harry Potter in his basement. Neo in whatever job he had before the Matrix got a hold of him. Then you were called to your journey.  The birth contractions started. You thought to yourself, "No way! I'm not going out there!" And you hung on for dear life. But then you didn't have a choice. You were more or less forced through your mother's birth canal. Dorothy was sucked up into a tornado. Harry Potter went to wizard school on a long, thin, magical train. Luke left his home

planet (aboard the Han Solo's ship) by making the leap to hyperspace, which resembled a long tube. Coincidence? Eventually, you were pulled (by the doctor’s hands) out into the world, kicking and screaming. Your Hero's Journey started. Life Begins

 Then you make new friends. Learn new skills (like walking and talking and pooping all by yourself). Your grow up, and life soon becomes one hero's journey after another. School

Your home, which was once the scary new frontier, is now the comfortable place. You want to leave, but outside is pretty scary. But you've got to go to school, right? So you go to kindergarten. And what happens? You make new friends, learn new things, and maybe run up against a bad guy or two. Every time you "graduate" to a higher-level school, the same process happens. What was once scary is now comfortable, but a bit boring. You'd like to stay, but  you can't. As they say when the bar closes, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." Elementary School,  Junior and High School, perhaps college, all follow the same pattern. Career and Family

Every time you transition to a new phase of life, you repeat the same hero's journey. Most people, when they start a new job are excited, but also kind of worried. But then they meet new people, learn new skills and work at a company until they realize it's time to move on. Most people when

they get married are excited and terrified at the same time. A few paragraphs ago, we talked about your very first hero's journey inside your mother's womb. But guess what? At the very same time, she (your mom) was undergoing her own hero's journey, especially if you were her first child. Excited and terrified at the same time. Perhaps even quietly and desperately thinking to herself, "No, no, please, I'm not ready!" But then you came and both you and your mom started a new hero's journey together. Heroes Are Everywhere

Whoever you are telling a story to, whether it's some guy or girl you just met in a bar, or a close friend who is struggling with the biggest problem of their lives, the message is the same. You are the hero. You are the one the story is about. You are the one that will figure this out, kill the bad guy, and get on with your life. How do I know this? Because simply because you are reading this (or if you are speaking to somebody) you have successfully gone through several hundred hero's journeys in your life. This problem  you are having (as you are telling stories to people) is the same as every other problem you've ever had. And you will destroy it as you have every other problem you have come up against. Don't Forget Carnegie's Dictum

When you tell your story, be sure that the listener or reader comes to the conclusion described above (that they are a hero and they have killed plenty of metaphorical bad guys in their life) on their own. Meaning they can't think you are giving them advice. You have to let your story, and the

characters in it, do the advice giving. But the deeper meaning will be there. In the next chapter, let's look at various situations and see how we can start to construct some hero's journey stories for various situations.

Needed Players If you've seen the movie, "Ocean's Eleven," there's a scene in the beginning where they are planning the big casino heist. They are discussing the different characters they'll need to create the elaborate con within which they'll rob millions from the casino. This is a good habit to get into. Not coming up with cons to rob casinos, but getting in the habit of listening to people and thinking of the issues they are facing. Then take their issues, and figure out how the various components of their issues can be matched with the various components of the hero's journey. In this chapter we'll look at some very basic structures. Who's the Hero?

Most of the time, the person you will be talking to will be the hero. So, you start to think of any issues they are having, or the idea you'd like them to consider, and begin to think a typical hero's journey might do the trick. Generally speaking, unless you're giving a ten or twentyminute speech in front of a captive audience, you won't have much time to lay out a traditional story. This will come across more like anecdotes, or stories that sound like, "This reminds me of a friend, once, he..." and off you go. Who's the Bad Guy?

 The bad guy doesn't have to be an actual person. The bad guy can be an idea they need to overcome, or an obstacle that they will likely come up with if you were to give them the advice straight out. As you can guess, this will take a lot of practice, much of which can be done on your own

through the form of journaling (more on that later). Most of the time, the "bad guy" is whatever objections you think they would have if you gave them direct advice instead of a story. Who Are the Friends?

Make the friends or helpers in the story as closely mapped to the ones that would most serve them in the real world. In you were to give them advice, what would you see as their best assets to rely on? Sometimes these are actual people, sometimes these are skills, sometimes they are experiences they've had they can rely on. Push Pull

If they are at the "orphan stage" however you see it, you'll need to come up with a way to compel them forward. Most traditional hero's journey stories have hero's that are more or less forced on their journey because we, the audience, would like to have the same thing happen to us. Most of us aren't ready to dive straight into our hero's journey and in in our experience (being born, going to school, getting a job, etc.) it doesn't happen that way either. So, make sure your story contains an element of being gently pushed onto their  journey, or to face whatever obstacle they'll face. Sales Examples

Say some guy comes into your shop. Their hero's journey would be to get rid of the old, comfortable thing they have (car, house, sofa, whatever). The "bad guy" or the obstacle in this point would be the price, or anything they would finish the following sentence with:

I'm not ready to buy this yet because...

Your job, as the salesperson is to understand this before they say it. Hopefully if you do have a sales job you've got some experience with common customer objections. What or who are their resources? Things they've purchased before and ended up enjoying. What would be a particular story? You might look at them item they are looking at, and then tell a story that would pace a successful purchase, including the price objection or whatever other objections they might have. Looks like this one might be one you're thinking of  purchasing. I had a customer in here a couple weeks ago, he bought this very same sofa about a year and a half ago. I'd totally forgotten about him, he came in to buy a lamp and came up and asked if I remembered him. He was really worried if this would be worth it, but he told me once he got it home, he was really glad he bought it. I think he financed it, but he decided to pay it off early. I think he actually used it as an excuse to ask his girl to come over to see it. They ended up getting married. Anyway, do you want to look around some more or see what kind of numbers we can put together for this? Party Example

Let's say you're at a party, it's kind of small, and you've met somebody interesting. You would like to talk to him or her more privately, as you keep getting interrupted by others. You think that going to a restaurant where you can relax for a while might be a great idea, but you're not sure how they'll respond. You could just spit it, "So, you want to

go grab something to eat?" In which case if they say, "No,"  you won't have much to counter with. So, you decide to tell a quick, one or two-minute story to increase your chances. What would some obstacles be in that situation? If they are alone, they may be waiting for some friends. If they are with friends, they might worry about how they'd get home, or what their friends might think. Or they might be open to having a meal with you, but then they might be worried that you'd try to take them back to your place. Let's go with a suspected obstacle of leaving their friends and going somewhere with a stranger, and the worry of what will happen once you are done eating. You might come up with a quick story like this: Hey, have you ever been to Luigi's? It's this pretty cool Italian place close by. They're always open, and there are always tons of people there. Sometimes I go there on my way home just to get some of the garlic bread, it's really good. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I was at this other  party, and it was kind of dead and I was kind of hungry, and I was leaving to go there and these three girls asked me if I'd give them a ride. I told them I wouldn't mind, but we had to stop by Luigi's first. We ended up staying there for a couple of hours and eating a ton. After I dropped them off at one of their houses, I don't even remember who was who, I never saw them again. But now I'm totally hungry. Are you hungry?

 That only takes about a minute, and will significantly increase your chances of getting her to go with you. Even if she brings her friends, you will have increased your chances with her, since you won't be getting interrupted as much, which was the reason you wanted take her to eat. If she and her friends do join you, you'll have a much better

chance getting her number and getting together later. In both of the above examples, there was a kind of "journey" involved. The first took the simple act of buying a couch and turned it into a transitional journey (single guy bought the couch and then got married) while the second story was a physical journey. A simple idea of going to a restaurant, a very common thing, was transformed into a small adventure. However, you can, wherever you can, take any suggestion  you are using the story to convey and expand it into an exciting journey. Homework Assignment

Start a story journal. Every time you think of a situation where you'd like to persuade somebody, write it down.  Then later when you have some free time, think of some simple stories that would be a good match. Imagine what objections they might have to your suggestion if you made it directly. And then have your character overcome the objections through the story somehow. You can work backward by imagining that the person takes your advice, and realizes the objections are no big deal. Then look for similar experiences in your past, or any stories you can think of from TV or movies, or anything you've read on social media, that would be a good story to tell that would be a close match to your ideal outcome with the person  you've got in mind. Because story telling is a very "artful" skill, something that needs to be very flexible, this may seem difficult at first. But keep at it, soon you'll find that coming up with effective

stores to describe to your persuasive targets will quickly get easier.

Advice Stories What happens when you find yourself in a situation, and  you'd like to create a different behavior or elicit a different way of thinking from somebody, but it doesn't seem to match any Hero's Journey stories you have handy? The strategy is basically the same. The first step is to get clear in your mind of what you'd like them to do or how you'd like them to think. Next would be to imagine a scenario where you would give them advice and they would be completely open, not to take the advice, but how they might reject the advice. Meaning if you gave them the advice and they said, "Yeah, no," and you asked them, "Why not?" they would give you their full and honest answer. Armed with this information, you're ready to come up with a story. You create a story that first overcomes whatever objection they would have, and then build that "overcome objection" into the story itself. If you can match this closely to a hero's journey, do so, but it's not really necessary. However, at the same time, since all of us humans are always in the middle of some kind of Hero's  Journey, any story you tell, even if you don't consciously map it to the hero's journey structure, (Orphan, Wanderer, Warrior) chances are they'll see it, at the very least, as one "scene" in whatever Hero's Journey they happen to be on. Understand though that most people don't think in terms of "Hero's Journeys," or even stories. They see their life, their desires, and their obstacles. Your job as a storyteller is to create stories that pace their life, their desires, their obstacles, without them overtly knowing that's what you're doing. Confused? Of course you are! This is hard stuff to think about without "trancing" out. Since all of us are, all the time, on some kind of Hero's Journey, it's hard to look at this structure objectively while we are in that same

structure. Let's look at a few examples. Deciding on College

Let's say you are talking to somebody who is having trouble deciding what to do about college. Their desire is what they hope to achieve by going to college. Maybe a job, maybe an experience, maybe just to have an experience of living on their own away from their parents. Their obstacles are the fears involved with that. Maybe they're worried about paying for it. Maybe their worried about graduating with a lot of debt and not being able to get a job to pay it off. Maybe their concerned with being lonely, and moving away from their high school friends. A story might be about a friend you used to know, and only now keep in touch through email. Make sure this "character" had the same fears and doubts, and somehow managed to overcome them by discovering new skills and abilities within themselves. It might go something like this: Going to college, huh? Yeah, that can be pretty intimidating. Lot of people go to school and fail miserably (pace the fear). They end up spending too much studying too little, and fall way behind. But I had a buddy who specifically didn't want that to happen. Before he left he made a promise to himself, that he'd keep a 3.0 no matter what, and he would only go out socially on weekends. He said it was pretty boring, but now he's making six figures and he has a much better life than if he partied all the time like most of his friends.

Notice what this story does. It takes the advice you would have given, (set a measurable goal to maintain, separate study and social time, focus on the long range instead of the day to day stuff) put it in a story. So instead of taking

 your advice, the person can "see" the advice in the story and feel it is there to do the same things the guy in the story did. Ending A Relationship

Let's say you've got a buddy who is in a relationship that has lost it's magic. Both parties are putting in more work than they want, they fight often, and nobody wants to be the one to end it. You could give them straight advice, "Dude, just break up with her and get it over with!" But what the advice ignores is that if it were that easy, he would have already done that. What might a story sound like that would pace a mutually acceptable breakup, where they remain friends? You sound like a guy I used to work with. He dated this girl  for three years, but he really hated it. Finally, they decided to talk about it, and it turned out that they both felt the same way. He made sure that when they talked it didn't sound like he was blaming her or anything, I think he read a book on how to break up or something. But it turned out she felt the same way, but didn't want to be the bad guy either. After setting up a meeting to talk, the ended on pretty good terms. General Structure

Advice stories are fairly simple. Just find somebody, either from your own history, or a character from TV or movies, or the famous "friend of a friend." Then have the character "act out" the advice. A few points are crucial when telling advice stories. One is to never directly say anything remotely similar to, "It worked for him, so you should try it

to!" Imagine you’re literally putting a story "out there" for the other person to look at and discover on their own. Meaning physically look at some point in space, as if you’re seeing the story play out. If they feel at all that you are "giving them advice" then it will have much less of an effect.  Tell it more from a "curiosity" standpoint, where you noticed what happened in the story, and your curious how  your friend's experience (or the person listening to your story) will match or not match the story. An attitude of, "Here's one story, yours will another story, maybe yours will be different, maybe not. Let's see what happens."  The more you know about their desires, obstacles and fears, the easier it will be construct a story. This is something that WILL take time and practice. A good way to practice is to start an "advice story" resource journal. Every time you hear a person mention a problem they are having, write it down at your earliest convenience. Then take some time to do the following: Desires, Objectives, Obstacles, Fears

First write down as much as you can regarding their "problem state." Write a few sentences that describe both their ideal outcome, and any fears, anxieties or worries they have. Plain Advice

Next, write down some advice you would give them, if you knew they might take it. Also, write down any objections they might have to your advice. Story Creation

Next is to find an example in your past, something you read, or a "friend of a friend." Have them start with more or less the same problem state, and then work their way through the problem, overcoming the objectives, and having a happy ending. Lots of Work!

Yes, developing the skill to tell helpful stories that move people is a lot of work. But it is a very good skill to have, one that will serve you in many areas of your life. In later chapters, we'll learn how to tell stores to move emotions,  just for the sake of giving people a good feeling. We'll also talk about how being able to tell stories, even just for entertainment's sake, will make you the most popular person in your social circle.

The Structure of Structure Guns don't kill people, people kill people. No, that's not really true. Guns don't kill people, bullets kill people. Wait, no, that's not true either. It's not the bullet that kills people, it's the hole. Wait, that's not exactly true either. It's not the hole, it's the destruction of a finely tuned biological system that is constantly in flux, delivering fuel and removing waste. that’s  what kills people! Endless Rabbit Holes

In the above, silly example, we could go on forever. But when you tell a simple story to move people to a better place mentally (or physically like in the Italian restaurant example a couple of chapters ago) there is a LOT going on.  There are the problems or issues the other person is having. There is what you want them to do. There is the advice you'd like to give them. There is the story you tell.  There are the deeper emotional feelings in the stories you tell. There is the subsequent movement of emotions (hopefully!) in the listener. Very confusing, very deep, and something that could be a long and entertaining philosophical discussion. However, you've only got a couple of minutes to tell a story to sell a product or get that cute person interested in you. We don't have time for philosophy! Where to Focus

 The crucial elements of every story are the emotions. Without creating the same emotions in your listener or reader that are happening in the story, they won't take action. They won't feel the way you want them to feel, they

won't do the things you want them to do. Have you ever rented a DVD or watched a movie online, only to give up after ten or fifteen minutes because the movie was absolutely horrible? We all have. But what's the reason?  The logical, conscious reason we often give are things like, "low production value," or "idiotic plot" or "wooden actors," and on and on. But this is just a "surface structure" description of what's really going on. Any movie we watch or book we read that "sucks" sucks because of two important reasons. Rapport

We don't have rapport with the story. Usually we think of rapport as something we get into with other people. But we also get into "rapport" with a story, only we call it something else. We call it a "suspension of disbelief." Even movies that are absolutely fake, fantasy, no way they could happen in real life, (Like all the comic book based Superhero movies), we love them because we can suspend our disbelief. They are compelling enough that we automatically turn off our "conscious critic" that is screaming bloody murder during some of those low budget movies. Emotions

 The other side of the coin of rapport is the reason we love stories in the first place. They move our emotions. We get to experience Catharsis, that wonderful feeling of emotional resolution we talked about a few chapters ago. The real, nuts and bolts purpose of telling stories is to move people's emotions. To move them through a series of different emotions, so they can feel better about their future, and

better about themselves. What Emotions?

What typical emotions does a standard Hero's Journey take us through? Let's look at all the stages, starting with the Orphan Stage. What do orphans (or more accurately characters in the orphan stage) feel? Lonely, left behind, forgotten, small, not enough, bored, wanting, incapable.  They there is that magical transition point. They want to go on the journey but are afraid. But if the story is told correctly, they don't have a choice. What emotions would this be? Excitement, anxiety, worry, fear, exhilaration, etc. When they are on the Wandering Phase, what emotions to they feel? Curious, searching, lost, slightly awake, fuzzy, clumsy, frustrated. During that Wandering Phase, they meet friends and learn new resources, what emotions might describe this? Friendship, discovery, companionship, camaraderie, mutual support, love, etc.  Then they switch into the Warrior Phase. What emotions are felt here? On purpose, driven, focused, determination, supported, on a mission, alive, energized, skilled, etc.  Then the final battle. Good guy vs. bad guy. This is a quick flux of emotions starting with a mix of fear, uncertainty but ultimate willingness to "leave it all on the field," followed by victory, triumph, success, and then celebration. Lots of Emotions!

Yes, these are a lot to keep track of, but there's an easy trick. Think of your favorite Hero's Journey movie. Spiderman, any of the Star Wars movies, The entire Harry Potter series, or pretty much any big blockbuster. That is the exact blueprint you need when telling stories. Just keep that "template" in your mind while telling any story, or collection of stories. Secret Trick

Here's a top-secret story telling trick. Even if your story doesn't make sense, even if it's a jumble of people, characters, events that are completely disjointed, and don't have anything to do with one another, so long as you include the right emotions in the right order, people will love you. People will hang on your every word. At the end, they might be a little confused, but they'll feel wonderful. Of course, right now, you're thinking, "What, so I'm supposed to just start mixing all the parts of my favorite movies together? People will think I'm nuts!" Don't worry, in later chapters we'll go over a lot of small functional component skills, that when put together will turn you into a tale spinning genius capable of holding entire audiences spellbound. Emotional Sequence Review

So long as you elicit a couple emotions from each category, in any way, you'll be fine. Orphan Stage

Worry, alone, fear, left behind, all alone, bored, wishing,

hoping, feelings of "not good enough." Transition

Excitement, worry, anxiety, exhilaration, being with a "teacher," being shown the path. Wandering Phase

Lost, awake, searching, curious, not quite sure, friends, colleagues, love, camaraderie Warrior Phase

On purpose, focused, determination, motivation, "on a mission," unstoppable Final Battle

mix of fear and willingness followed by victory and celebration Homework Do some journaling, and come up with a few stories you could tell in two minutes or less, that could move through one or two emotions from each category. It could be the first time you walked to school alone, or taking and passing any kind of entrance examination, or any achievement, big or small, taken from your own history.

Hero's Journey Emotions as Advice We've covered a lot of ground. Stories are both simple and incredibly complex at the same time. They are simple in that we've all seen, heard, read, watched, consumed, stories thousands of times in our lives. Nearly everything is told in the story from in one way or another. Yet suddenly flipping them around, understanding them from the inside out so we can spin helpful and emotionally moving stories on the fly isn't so easy. But with practice, anything can be easy. Especially with stories. You are surrounded all the time by people who love hearing them, and you yourself, simply because you are reading these words, have gone through enough stuff in your life so that you can create the best stories people have ever heard. Remember, it's the emotions that make the story, not the content, or what the stories are about. In this chapter, we'll learn a pretty quick way to tell compelling stories that can straddle the boundaries between advice stories, inspirational stories, and entertainment stories. Example

Let's say you're at a party. You are in a group of people, talking like people do. One person mentions they've got a big report they've got to do at work, it's due next Friday, and they aren't looking forward to the amount of time they'll have to put in to do it. You might be tempted to tell an advice story, but you can actually get away with telling a Hero's Journey story, one that follows those Hero's  Journey emotions, but at the same time just seem to be telling a general story the way people normally do at parties. If you start with the same emotion and content as their problem, (looking forward to a long and tedious yet

important project at work) you'll kill three birds (advice, be entertaining, and tell a Hero's Journey story) all at the same time. Everybody Is an Orphan

A while ago, we talked about how we all go through Hero  Journey situations our entire lives. Being born, going to school, making new friends etc. But we are also always feeling, on some level, like an orphan in some way. Even if we are in a good relationship, have a good job and decent friends, they are parts of us we keep to ourselves. Parts we're worried that nobody will understand. A very common theme in many Hero's Journey stories, is the Hero fears he or she has some deep, dark secret, and if people find out who they really are, they'll leave them. So even if your "target" isn’t in a traditional "Orphan" situation, there's a very good chance that they (and everybody else who will be listening to your story) also feels that they are an orphan in some way. So, no matter WHAT the emotions are, so long as you start on both similar content (in this case having a big project at work) and mix in a lot of "orphan" type feelings, you'll be fine. With that in mind, let's look at a story you might tell that could be appropriate in this situation. Oh dude, that sucks, I used to have this job where we had to write this monster status reports every week. The first time I had to write it, I was all by myself. They just told me it was due, and I had no idea how to even start (Orphan stage, Orphan emotions). So I basically dug up a bunch of other status reports, and tried to figure out the best way to write them, (Wandering Phase), and the boss comes into the lunchroom and he sees me with all these reports laid out,

and I thought I was going to get into trouble, but then he asked what I was doing and I told him I really didn't know so I was trying to, you know, use the others as an example, and he sat down and worked it out with me. (Making  friends, collecting resources, shifting to Warrior Phase) But at the end he decided it might be easier just to come up with a standard format, so it's easier on everybody. (Solving the  problem). Now it's totally easy.

Now, even if the person doesn't get any ideas or decides to do anything differently, they are now feeling a little bit better about the situation, and they have you to thank. You've shown you have something in common with them,  you've shown them writing reports is a common them (alleviating any of their orphan feelings) and have given them a quick story with a happy ending. So even if they continue on their week doing the same things, they'll have a slightly higher expectation of a happy ending, and will be able to enjoy the party or social situation a little bit more. And it only took a minute to tell that story. Think of how much more of an effect this will have on their emotions than, "Wow, that sucks, but I'm sure you'll do fine." The intention is the same, but chances are if you said that, they would still feel quite a lot of "orphan feelings." Simply by taking the time and emotional energy to tell a story that starts with their situation, and leaves with a happy ending will make them feel much better. Homework Assignment

Start recording any incidents you hear about (friends, colleagues, etc.) that can be, even with a stretch, paced with a similar content (the same type of thing they are faced with: writing a report, asking out a girl, applying for a

 job, etc.) with accompanying orphan emotions (feeling alone, left behind, etc.) Then find any incident that happened to you or "a friend of a friend" that can start wherever they are, go through one or two emotions from each stage, and end with your story character (you, your friend, etc.) "killing the bad guy" or solving the problem. Once you go through this a few times, it will be relatively easy to come up with any story, on the spot. Remember the Chomsky's Universal Grammar, Brown's Universal People, and Campbell's Universal Story? Well, you'll soon find that many people find themselves in the very same "Universal Situations" which will allow you to come up with plenty of stories to lead them from where they are, to a happy ending, thereby lifting up their emotions and giving them a much more positive expectation of the future.

Mid Term Review We've been shifting back and forth between a subjective view from inside ourselves as natural storytellers and story listeners, to an objective structural view, so it's easy to get lost or tranced out. Let's take a breather and review what we've covered. We All Love Stories

Everybody loves stories. Even before we could really understand what was going on around us, the words, "Once upon a time," were like a magical incantation that took us into imagination land where we only need to pay attention to a guiding voice that took our minds to wonderful places. It seems our brains are hard wired to perceive things best when they are told as stories. Back before humans understood anything about science, our ancestors created rich tales that described the stars, the heavens and other forces of nature. The ancient story tellers tended to anthropomorphize things, meaning they gave human characteristics to things like huge nebulae and wind and thunder. Every aspect of our lives, from our political origins to the description of daily events is told in story form. Stories are structures through which most meaning is transferred, from historical events to statistical and economic oddities. Hero's Journey Is Central

 The Hero's Journey, as uncovered by Joseph Campbell, is central to nearly all stories. This structure shows up in Hollywood blockbusters, ancient myths and how we view our own lives. Because we are simultaneously on various

personal journeys, we are in different sections of these Hero's Journeys at any particular time. The Orphan stage, when we feel left behind, lonely, bored, wishing something exciting would happen yet too nervous to actually make anything happen. The Wandering Phase, when we've been forced onto our journey but aren't sure what's going on.  The Warrior Phase when we know what's what and we're getting ready for the big battle, and the big battle itself, when even though we don't know if we're going to succeed or not, we go into the situation with our eyes open. These personal hero's journeys can be as simple as giving a book report in the third grade to having the most important discussion of your life with the most important person. Because of this, we are highly tuned to “hear” anything that is told in the form of a Hero's Journey. Hero's Journey stories resonate with us just as sunlight resonates with oxygen and nitrogen in the upper atmosphere, making the sky blue. Three Story Examples

We've covered three basic story structures, which hopefully  you'll be able to construct on the fly to more easily persuade those around you. We've learned that these work the way they do because they apply Carnegie's Dictum, which is to allow the person to make the decision on their own, for their own reasons. Because we can use structures that paces their desires, their obstacles, and a likely solution, they can "discover" the answer on their own. Hero's Journey Advice Stories

 This is when we find ourselves in a situation where telling a standard Hero's Journey story will help move them

(emotionally, metaphorically of physically) from where they are to where we'd like them to be. We can create a brief story with a hero that they will identify and fall into rapport with. The hero of this story will effectively be pulled onto the hero's journey, find their purpose, kill the bad guy (paced as our listener's objections or obstacles) and see the bright side on the other side. The better, more quickly and more effectively we can do this, the more engaging and persuasive we can be. Non-Hero's-Journey Advice Stories

 These are stories that don't quite match the Hero's  Journey, but we still feel the need to "give advice" in the form of a story. These are fairly simple to construct. Simply imagine the direct advice you would give to somebody, make a reasonable estimate of their objections to that advice, and then come up with a story that shows a character they can identify with discovering that advice on their own, and overcoming the obstacles. Non-Advice Hero's Journey Stories

 These are fully fledged Hero's Journey Stories, but not told with an intention other than inspiring the listener or reader to feel better and more resourceful about their situation.  This can either inspire them find new ways of handling their issue, or to simply handle it the way they'd planned, but with much more emotional certainty about the outcome. We tell these by creating a similar starting point that they are in, from an orphan's standpoint, then telling a rich Hero's Journey, as long or short as it needs to be, to help them discover within themselves the resources they need.

Emotions Are Everything

We've learned that it's not just the characters in the stories, or their actions that do the heavy lifting. It's the emotions that result in the listener that does the work. So long as your stories go through the right sequence of emotions, or rather they elicit the emotions in your listener, the actual content of the stories won't matter that much. Stories Take Practice

Not everybody is a natural story teller, but we all are natural story listeners. We all have the story structure within our brains, it's just a matter of learning how to tell stories as effectively as we can listen to them. Many Aspects of Telling Stories

 The first thing you should be doing is writing down any issues you've come across among your friends, family members and colleagues. Then come up with stories (either of the above three structure is fine). The more you do this, the easier it will be to come up with the story on the spot, as soon as you learn of the issue. Because we humans are much more similar than we are different, you'll soon learn that many of your own personal experiences will be perfect. Within the actual stories, there will be a lot of different ways to present the events. If you've seen more than a couple of movies, you know that presenting events as they happened sequentially, in a straight linear fashion is only one way. There are many ways to jumble scenes around, show bits of backstory here and there, all leading up to the all-important emotional finale. So long as the emotions are

in order, the order of events doesn't really matter. Once you've started to come up with a few stories to tell, so that whenever you hear a problem or an issue, or you see an opportunity and you feel telling a story might be the best way to capitalize on it, you're ready to start talking. But before you do, before you've got that story in your head out and into somebody else's head, you've got to learn just how to tell a story. We'll be going over that, next.

Part Two – Story Techniques

Emotions Are Everything It's easy to forget about the emotions and focus on the story and its characters. But unless the stories you tell elicit the right emotions in the right order, they will be viewed as only entertainment. Something to pass the time. As soon as you finish, they'll get back to their issues, their situation and notice that nothing has changed. How do you elicit the right emotions? It's very hard to elicit very many emotions unless you go through them yourself. The only emotion is that easy to elicit without showing any emotions is humor. Getting people to laugh, or feel the underlying emotions that create the laugh is perhaps the simplest emotion to create. (I suppose you could yell at people and elicit fear, but that wouldn't be very helpful!) If you want to create the broad spectrum of emotions, and elicit them in the right order, then you'll need to go their first. Personal Stories Are Best

 This is why personal stories are a pretty good place to start. So long as you aren't revealing anything uncomfortable or criminal, you can safely express all the emotions that you experienced when the initial event happened. Especially if the event is a considerable distance in your past. Why is this? Remember the basic idea of any story. Most stories are expected to have a happy ending. So just by starting a story, people will expect it has a happy ending, or a point that is valid with respect to the topic of conversation. And if  you are telling a story that has happened to you in your past, the more emotions you put into it, the more willing people will be to go along with you. Not only do they expect it has a happy ending (since it's a story and most stories have happy endings), but since it's about you, they have

more reason to expect it to have a happy ending. Few people will tell a story about themselves that doesn't have a happy ending (unless you happen to be in group therapy). So, the more wide and diverse you make the emotions on the way to your happy ending, the more likely they'll go there with you. Feel the Emotions

Whenever you tell a story, it's important to "unfreeze" your face and body. You need to have large gestures, a large range of tonality, speed of speaking, facial expressions, etc. If you've ever taken acting classes, this is much more difficult than it seems. Getting the right "feeling" of a character is the toughest parts. What do we call actors that don't show a diversity of emotions? Wooden. Meaning they don't move their faces, they don't move their bodies, they don't move their tonality around. In order to not be a "wooden story teller" you need to have a wide range of emotional expression. This is hard when you are repeating a story that has been "written" by somebody else. But when  you are telling a story that has happened to you? It's easy!  Just double, triple, or otherwise maximize the emotions  you felt. Outside Yourself

Most people are terrified of expressing their emotions. We think people will reject us, they'll see our true selves and laugh and point. But the opposite is true. Would you rather watch a stand-up comedian that just delivers the jokes like he or she doesn't care? Would you rather watch a movie with the actors just saying their lines flatly? Nobody would! People will enjoy you more if you are willing to be open

with your emotions. Imagine all the people you've met in  your life. Which ones stand out the most? Which ones are the most enjoyable to be around? If you're like most people, then you enjoy people that are more emotionally open than emotionally closed. But when telling stories, you don't need to talk about anything personal. You can talk about the time you found a frog in your closet, and how you picked it up and took it outside as a Hero's Journey. The more emotions you put into that story, the more people will enjoy you and appreciate  you for telling that. This is one of those things where the opposite happens of what we think will happen. We think people will laugh at us, reject us, and otherwise ignore us. But the more open and free we are with the necessary emotions (building blocks of our own hero's journeys) the more people will appreciate us, and even actively seek us out. Remember how emotions are everything? The contents that deliver them are just that, methods of delivery. Do you care if the guy who brought you a pizza came in a yellow car or a blue bicycle? Not really. So long as the pizza gets there in time, and it's still hot, you don't care how it got there. The same as with emotions. You don't need to construct an epic tale to deliver the right emotions. Everything that has happened to you in your life, up to know, is perfect. The most important  aspect of any story is the emotions. And if  you had to choose between the right emotions in the right order, but delivered flatly, compared to one or authentic emotions delivered with passion, everybody you know would rather feel those one or two emotions delivered with passion. Even if you stop reading now, and only learn how to deliver authentic emotions with passion, you'll create much better responses in all your communication. But if  you can deliver a hero's journey, with the right emotions,

delivered in the right way, told with enthusiasm and passion? The world will belong to you. Practice Telling Stories

 This is your next set of homework assignments. If you want to practice playing the piano, you've got to bang on the keys. If you want to get better telling stories, you've got to tell them. Step one is something you're hopefully already doing, or planning on doing. And that is coming up with the stories themselves. Step two is to practice telling them. Start with whatever you've got. Start off in the car, when  you're driving, or when you're at home, but get started. Start with simple stories. Choose any of the emotions from any segment of the Hero's Journey (Orphan, Wanderer, Warrior) and come up with one story for one emotion. Then simply practice. Tell it until you can feel the emotions from the story radiating out of you. Watch yourself in the mirror if you can. Be as goofy as you can. Change everything while  you're speaking. Size or your eyes, speed of your voice, gestures, pauses, (much more on that later). Remember, storytelling is natural. You'll know when you're doing it right. It will feel right. Once you start to get comfortable sharing your emotions out loud, we'll get into some more advanced story telling techniques in later chapters.

Master Story Tellers If you want to learn something, one very good way is to watch somebody that is skilled in the area you'd like to be skilled in. Before regular education was invented, this is how most people learned, and it's still how many people learn. Beginners work alongside experts until they are skilled enough to work on their own. Modeling is how we learned how to walk and talk. We copied those around us until were as good as them, at least in walking and talking.  Telling stories, ubiquitous in all cultures and likely part of our DNA, should be similarly easy to learn by coping. Resources to Model

 The first thing you should start doing is to watch stand-up comedians. There are thousands of clips on YouTube to watch, so "modeling" from expert story tellers is accessible to everybody. At the very least, pay attention to how they speak, when they pause, how they move around. A few have a "style" of deadpan delivery, but most are very emotionally open and outgoing. Copying them word for word, including their gestures, voice tone and delivery would be extremely helpful. Once you've found a model that is close to your own personal style, you can use that as a starting point. Copy them until you are comfortable, and then use their style to tell your own stories. Once  you've got their style down, you can tweak it to make it  your own. At this point, you've got a good story structure down (Hero's Journey) as well as your own rich history of examples. Once you've got a couple of models to learn from (their means of expression, not necessarily their content)

 you are ready to actually start telling stories to people, and generating the response you want. However, this is just the beginning. There is one storyteller we can learn from who is perhaps one of the best storytellers who ever lived. And luckily, his style of storytelling was studied inside and out, and codified into a system of communication. One that you are about to learn. Make no mistake, the ideas you have about stories, and the information on how to practice telling them is enough to make you the most sought after party guest, the most eloquent speaker, the most attractive and charismatic communicator anybody knows. But the things we are about to cover will take you places few people know exist. Milton Erickson

If you know anything about NLP, you know about Dr. Milton Erickson. In many stories, the character faces a "death event," when he or she has to look death in the face and accept that it's coming. If you've watched Breaking Bad, you'll notice that once in every season, Walter White faces death, accepts his is just around the corner, and doesn't die. From a character-arc standpoint, this turns into more of an evil genius every time it happens. But when this happens to people in real life, it generally has the opposite effect. It makes them appreciate life so much more. More outgoing, expressive, joyful. This is what happened to young Milton Erickson. He thought he was going to die, and he didn't. Later, he became a medical doctor, and a hypnotist. But he noticed that when people came to see him, even when they were expecting they were going to be hypnotized, they were a bit frightened. It is kind of scary when you think about it. You come in, sit down to talk about some problem, and then some old guy puts you

into a trance and goes looking around inside your mind. Because they were a bit nervous, they were a bit resistant. And Dr. Erickson, knowing how precious time was, didn't want to waste any. So, he invented  a new form of hypnosis that would absolutely bypass any conscious resistance. And like any mad scientist, he experimented until he produced a finely tuned, highly efficient system of covert hypnosis. Only he didn't really tell anybody. He didn't advertise in the yellow pages as having a "New, Improved" form of hypnosis. People would come into his office, and think it was a regular session. They'd talk about their problems, he'd talk about their problems, maybe he'd pull a watch out and swing it back and forth, they'd sort of fall asleep and wake up and hopefully the problems would be gone. Only it didn't work like that. They'd come in, sit down, and Dr. Erickson would start telling stories. Only they were a bit different than regular stories. They were much more confusing than regular stories. They were so confusing that the time passed without the patients really having any idea what was going. Dr. Erickson would smile and say something like, "That's it, call me in a couple weeks and we'll see how  you're doing." And the patient would look around, startled that the time had gone by so fast. They'd get up and leave, not really sure what had happened. Then a week would go by and they would make a startling discovery. That problem they used to have, that they can't really remember very much, hasn't been around. It just kind of vanished, right around the same time that weird old guy in the wheelchair started telling them those weird stories that they don't remember.

How Did He Do It?

He did it more or less the same way you've been learning how. The structure is the same. They came in, they had a problem. He figured out a story that would pace the problem, and help guide them through to a solution. Just like the Luigi's Restaurant example from a few chapters ago. Take the advice that you would give, and put it into a story. Dr. Erickson was doing the very same thing. But since the people he was talking to didn't have the kind of problems or issues people talk about at parties, like having a big project to do for work, or maybe wanting to go with an interesting but relatively unknown guy or girl to a nearby restaurant. Erickson's patients had much deeper issues, like addictions, deep relationship issues, horrible fears that had been making life miserable. Yet Dr. Erickson was able to neutralize these with a few goofy stories. And if you learn the same techniques that Erickson used to get rid of decades of substance abuse in a couple hour-long sessions, what do you think you'll be able to do with these same techniques, and the things you've learned about stories so far? How much more persuasive, entertaining, uplifting and inspiring do you think you'll be at parties, work and at home? For the rest of this guide, we'll be going through those very techniques in detail, and with practice, you'll be able to speak to people in a way that they'll never forget.

Layers of Resistance Remember the whole reason for telling stories instead of giving unasked for advice. At its heart, that is precisely what telling stories are. An attempt to move somebody on an emotional level, or get them to take an action without them specifically asking what to do. However, by telling stories they get the pleasure of discovering that advice on their own. They get the experience of seeing the characters and imagining, in their own way, that they themselves are doing the same thing. However, we must always be careful of staying away from anything that even smells like advice. Conscious Critic

Humans are naturally timid creatures. We are terrified of trying new things, and unless advice is coming from a trusted friend, or a respected authority, it is going to be questioned. Even if it is coming from a trusted authority, it is going to be questioned. This was the whole reason Dr. Erickson invented Conversational Hypnosis (his form of storytelling) in the first place. Just giving "advice" even from a respected physician wasn't enough. Even hypnotizing people like a traditional hypnotist, as a respected physician wasn't enough. Our conscious critic, that part of us that is hyper-vigilant of any "wrong" or "dangerous" information coming into our brains is hard to sneak past. The whole point of telling stories is to lull him or her (the conscious critic) to sleep, so we can get our listeners to go with the flow and follow along with the characters. Plain Stories Aren't Enough

If you just tell a plain old story, people will listen politely, but it will not likely move their emotions. If you tell a rich emotional story, it might move their emotions, but it also might "wake up" their conscious critic. Even if they don't suspect we are giving any kind of advice, the story itself might evoke some emotions that are uncomfortable to the listener, which will make them "pull back" emotionally. For example, let's say they supposed to give a speech at work in a week or so, and they are so terrified they can't even sleep. So, you come up with a Hero's Journey type story that starts where they are. I had a buddy who was in the same position. He had to give a speech, and he was worried if he didn't do it correctly he might not get a promotion. So, he wrote out a speech,  practiced in front of a mirror, and went and jointed toastmasters. He only had a week, but they were nice, and luckily, they had one meeting where he could go and  practice. They gave him a lot of good tips, and he ended up giving a good speech and ended up getting a promotion. Last I heard, he was a regular member of Toastmasters, and he loves giving speeches.

Now, on the surface, it sounds pretty good. Starts of where the listener is starting, takes the standard advice, (practice at home, join Toastmasters) and builds into the story. But what happens if they live in a one bedroom apartment with their husband? And suppose that husband isn't very supportive? So, when they got to the part in the story where they were at home practicing in front of the mirror, they thought to themselves, "Oh, no! I could never do that!" Even though they are still following the story, even though they wish they could end up like the hero of the story, their conscious critic has put the brakes on.

Gather Information

Luckily, there are many techniques that will keep that conscious critic knocked out cold while you go through  your story, or stories. One thing you can do to avoid the above "misfire" would be to gather as much information about your listener as possible. Meaning you might ask them if they have a chance to practice their speech before, then you would realize that practicing at home isn't idea. You could have the hero of your story parking their car in a large parking lot (maybe in front of a supermarket or park) and practicing the speech in their car. Or maybe instead of having them go to Toastmasters (something few people are ready to do right away) have the hero sit in the car, close their eyes and imagine they are giving their speech to a room full of colleagues. Ideal Outcome

A great way to collect the best information to create a story around is just talk about the problem like you normally would. If you're talking to them as they're riding the bike next to you at the gym, what kinds of questions would a normal, non-storytelling person ask? Have you ever given a speech before? How long does the speech have to be? Is it about stuff you know about? Who are you giving the speech to?

Where are some places you might practice?

You can do this in a "back and forth" type of way, which is normal and expected. This will give you two benefits. One is that you can collect information, so you can build a more effective and targeted story. Two is while you're collecting the information, you'll have a lot more time to build the actual story. Any one of the above questions will not only  yield useful information from your friend, but will help you scan your own history for your own helpful anecdotes or experiences. Then after a few minutes of going back and forth, you can "remember" an event that happened to you, or a close friend, a few years ago, that gives them the ideal advice, based on their own unique situation. Blending Stories and Conversations

It's very unlikely that you'll ever hear somebody present a problem, or find yourself with an opportunity (a potential client or an attractive person you've met at a party) where  you can say, "Hey, this reminds me of a story! Once upon a time..." One of the required "arts" of storytelling is shifting unnoticed from regular conversations to story conversations. Ideally, you'd be in a regular back and forth conversation, the structure of which would be something like this: "Hey, what's up?" "Not much, I'm kind of freaked out, though." "Yeah?" "Yeah, I got to give a speech at work, I can barely sleep!"

"Oh, dude, I hate giving speeches! When do you have to give it?" "Next Friday." "Well you've got time to prepare, have you written it yet?" "No, I've got some ideas though." "That's good. I took this one speech class where we had to get up and talk for two minutes on some topic we didn't know anything about until we stood up." "Wow, that sounds horrible!" "Yeah, but after a while it was pretty fun, we started making up some crazy ideas. How long is your speech supposed to be?" "They didn't say, five minutes?" "Uh huh. Who's it to?" "Just people at work."

"People you know?" "Yeah." "That's not bad. My friend took this debate class once, and  part of their homework was to go out in the middle of campus and have public debates. Anybody walking by could see."

"Holy crap!" "No kidding! You gonna practice in front of a mirror?" "No way, my husband would just heckle me!" "That sucks, what are you going to do?" "Not sure, yet, maybe my office?" "Yea, that might work. My friend that was in that debate class used to practice in his car all the time. He would drive somewhere nobody would see him, and just rant and rave in his car." "Seriously?" "Yeah, he had this really weird technique, he explained it to me. He would write down the five or six questions from the audience that he feared the most, and then drive somewhere and just practice answering over and over. He would actually close his eyes, imagine that they would stand up, all pissed off, and shout the questions at him, and he would sit there, in his car, eyes closed, and shout them right back. He said after doing that three or four times, going back to regular debates was super easy." "In his car?" "Yep." "Huh, maybe I'll give that a try."

 This starts out like a normal, back and forth conversation. After the storyteller gets enough information, he briefly shifts into a one or two-minute story that does exactly what he wanted to. Give his friend some advice, and get her feeling a lot more confident about giving her speech. And give her a unique technique and a safe way to practice it. However, many times such a simple solution might not pop up. Or you might find yourself wanting to give somebody "advice" (like buy my product or become attracted to me) that they haven't specifically asked for yet. For that, we'll need some more advanced storytelling technology.

Nested Loops  These are very powerful, and very popular. Many professional comedians use these when telling their stories. With nested loops, you can take three or four simple stories, and turn it into one long mesmerizing tale that people won't be able to take their attention off. How do they work? We humans can only hold so much information in our conscious minds at once. Studies have shown anywhere between five and nine pieces of discrete information. Imagine that a story is a flow of information coming from the other person. Suppose a story has twenty discreet pieces of information. Think of that stream of information flowing past another person's consciousness. At any given time, the person who is listening will be able to focus on what is being said, have an empty "hole" for what is about to be said, and having space left over for three or four things that have already been said. So long as the story moves in sequential order, everything's OK. The story starts off at the beginning, the story progresses through, keeps the person's interest, step by step, up until the end. If the story started from a similar position of the listener's situation, and nothing in story (none of the twenty pieces of information) woke up their conscious critic, then everything's fine. But that's a lot riding on one story. A lot of mental work went into creating and telling the story. And if you're telling the story to several people, the odds go up significantly that one of those twenty pieces of information will either bore or wake up somebody's conscious critic. This is generally what happens are parties and social situations. Whoever has the "spotlight" has to work to maintain it. As soon as their "story" becomes boring or uninteresting, somebody is going to "jump in" and wrestle the metaphorical stoplight from them. They may

not blatantly interrupt them, but they might start to exhibit body language that says, "I know where this story is going, and I've got a better one!" How can you avoid this? By using nested loops. Structure of Nested Loops

Instead of one long story with twenty pieces or "chunks" or "scenes," instead create three or four much smaller stories. For example, consider four stories of five scenes each. Or five distinct things that happen in each story. Same length of time, same pieces of information, but arranged in a way that most people will have hard time keeping up. For sake of description, let's say a "chunk" of information, or a story "scene" is something simple like, "The man put on his shoes." So, if we say, "The man put on his shoes and went outside," would be two scenes. And, "The man put on his shoes, and went outside, and after he went outside, he saw a kangaroo," would be three scenes. So, let's say we have four stories, each with five scenes. Let's call the scenes, A, B, C, D, and E. And the four stories, 1, 2, 3, and 4.

Most people would tell, expect to hear: 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D, and 1E. Then the next story, and on until all stories are complete. But with nested loops, you break the stories up. A potential order of all twenty scenes would be something like this: 1A - 1B - 1C - 2A - 2B - 2C - 3A- 3B - 3C - 4A - 4B - 4C 4D - 4E - 3D - 3E - 2D - 2E - 1D - 1E  This will be very hard for people to keep track of, so they'll respond by having a lot of natural focus. It won't be something they "think" to do, they'll just won’t have the feeling that "Oh, I've heard this type of story before, I think I know how it's going to end" type of feeling. It will be consistent feeling "just almost" knowing what's going on. Following is a play-by-play of a typical listener’s response. 1A  They hear this beginning part, and they relax and listen. We are all socially conditioned when we hear the beginning of a story to relax, and expect a "happy ending" a few minutes in the future. And since most of us having plenty of experiences of hearing stories that are pretty relevant to the flow of conversation, most people will relax and just listen for a few minutes. 1B  This next bit comes and verifies their expectation. They're nodding and following right along.

1C Hopefully, if you've put your stories together well, this is kind of a "decision point." Where something unexpected happens (they go outside and see a kangaroo). 2A  This is a completely different story, that has nothing to do with the first one. Since you just dumped an unexpected event in their minds (the kangaroo, for example) they are waiting with increased  attention to find out what the deal is with that kangaroo (for example). But then you start another story. At this point, their brains are kind of in a "limbo" state. They are still wondering what's up with the kangaroo, but they aren't seeing any indication of any "kangaroo-resolution" in this section. 2B Now they're brains are starting to suspect a different story is happening. 2B is naturally following from 2A, but they've still kind of wondering what happened to the kangaroo. 2C Now they feel back in familiar territory. They are inside of a familiar story. Maybe that kangaroo was a figment of their imagination. Maybe you explained the kangaroo but they missed it. And this 2C is another "story inflection point." Maybe at this point in the story you walked into an ice cream store and some kid was flying drone around and knocking things over. Now their attention is finally settled on the drone, and they are wondering how it will be

resolved. 3A Wait, what? Now the drone has vanished, and you've started yet another story. Now they are wondering if they have narcolepsy or something. They want to look around to see if you really are speaking gibberish, but at the same time they are wondering if it's just them. So, they decide to really focus. 3B Ok, so good. Maybe the kangaroo and the drone are somehow related. So, they pay attention, and hope for the best. 3C Now another "plot point." Maybe your buddy walked into the Home Depot and all the employees were singing happy birthday like they do at restaurants. Sounds pretty interesting, forget that other stuff that they don't really remember anyway, let's see what's up with the singing Home Depot people. 4A Ok, this is getting crazy. They must have slipped something in the punch bowl. But everybody else is paying close attention, so if I interrupt I'll look really foolish. So, they keep listening and nodding and wonder maybe this is a side effect of some cold medicine that they maybe took earlier but already forgot about.

4B So far, so good. Two pieces of information in a row that make sense. Nodding, smiling. 4C Another big plot point. Maybe you were parachuting and  your chute didn't open. My goodness! 4D Ok, so you pulled your emergency chute and everything worked out. Thank goodness! 4E Yes, of course. Always have a backup plan, absolutely. Your listener is now looking around, nodding and agreeing with this sage advice. 3D Oh yeah! Those Home Depot people! Turns out they were making a commercial for their local TV station. 3E Oh, I see. Your buddy naturally started to sing along, and they included him in the commercial. Yep, I agree totally. Always take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves!

2D  The kid in the ice cream shop! His mom was really embarrassed, so she bought everybody an ice cream cone. 2E Oh, how funny! The drone was one of those camera drones, and now everybody is famous on YouTube for having their ice cream cones knocked all over the ice cream shop. Not sure what the moral of this story is, but it's pretty funny! 1D  The kangaroo! He handed you a flier? Wait, what? 1E Oh, it was a guy in a kangaroo suit, handing out fliers for local utility company. Their motto is "We Jump into Service!" Wow, imagine that. So, I guess it pays to be creative, right? (Finish play-by-play) OK, so maybe these stories are silly, but so what? They are entertaining, they'll keep people on their toes, and you can impart some serious wisdom to boot. As far as we are concerned in this point of our storytelling journey, the main reason for nested loops is it will keep them extremely focused. This does a couple of things. One is that the increased focus will enhance whatever "advice" you slip into the story. (Have a backup plan, don't

be shy about taking unexpected opportunities, don't be afraid of kangaroos). And it makes it very unlikely that anybody will interrupt you. What's more, it will make you a very interesting person, as people that can come up with some goofy stories, and keep party guests enthralled like that, as well as give them those very unique emotions while listening to your goofy story, is very rare.  Think about that. Just by taking some basic stories and splitting them up like that, will make you a very captivating storyteller. Not because of the content, but because of the structure. This is a very subtle but very crucial point. Most people, when they think of becoming intriguing and captivating storytellers, imagine they need to come up with world class content. But now you know the secret. Four goofy stories, stories you could easily make up right now, could turn quickly turn you from an average storyteller to an unforgettable one. Homework

Come up with four, very basic stories, each that have five scenes. Then separate out the scenes in the order suggested above. Here it is again: 1A - 1B - 1C - 2A - 2B - 2C - 3A- 3B - 3C - 4A - 4B - 4C 4D - 4E - 3D - 3E - 2D - 2E - 1D - 1E  Then simply practice telling them. Use cards if you need to, stand in front of the mirror (or in your car) but practice doing this. Developing this skill, of taking simple stories, breaking them up into this intriguing structure, will be extremely beneficial. Many of the techniques will be very powerful, but they will be many times more powerful if

used within this nested loop structure. Think of the nested loop as your main, "go to" technique for becoming a powerful and mesmerizing storyteller. One that magnifies all other skills you'll learn from this guide.

Transitioning Techniques When you transition from one story to a second, nonrelated story, the general tendency is to put in some kind of transition words or phrase. Normally this is to help your listeners, so they know you're shifting gears. But the purpose of nested loops is to keep them on their toes, which means you don't want to alert them that you are switching stories. The power of nested loops come when they are trying to remember what just happened, why the next scene (e.g. if you've just shifted from 2C to 3A) doesn't have anything to do with the previous scene. If you say anything at all to indicate you are switching stories, they'll simply compartmentalize them and it won't have its intended effect. How Do You Switch?

Let's look at the first story. Told by itself, it may sound something like this: So, my buddy had this weird thing happen to him. He put on his shoes and went outside. And after he went outside he saw this kangaroo. I mean a guy wearing a kangaroo suit. He walked over and handed my friend a flier for some new utility repair service or something, their motto is "We Jump to Order," or something like that.

If you told it like this, it might get a chuckle or two, and then people would quickly forget it. Now let's consider the second story, which if told from start to finish, might be like this: I met this girl on this blind date, I was pretty nervous. It

wasn't an online thing, it was set up by my friend, I had no idea what she looked like. So, I met her at the park downtown. We decided to get some ice cream, and so we walked to the nearby ice cream store. Right when we walked in, this kid has this drone he was flying around and knocking everything over. His mom had just grabbed the drone when we walked in, and was really embarrassed, so she bought everybody ice cream. Turns out the kid was recording everything while it happened, so I think I'm on YouTube going on a blind date.

So, how would you split these up? It will sound very strange, and it's going to take some practice. One of the key elements of delivering effective nested loops is while everybody is looking at you, is to transition from one story to another without giving any kind of clues that you are doing so. No changes in facial expression, no change in speaking speed, or anything else that will indicate something has happened. The less evidence you give of a transition, the bigger internal effect of "Wait, what just happened" you'll generate in your listeners, and the better overall results you'll get. Combining just these two stories gives you: So, my buddy had this weird thing happen to him. He put on his shoes and went outside. And after he went outside he saw this kangaroo. I met this girl on this blind date, I was  pretty nervous. It wasn't an online thing, it was set up by my  friend, I had no idea what she looked like. So, I met her at the park downtown. We decided to get some ice cream, and so we walked to the nearby ice cream store. Right when we walked in, this kid has this drone he was flying around and knocking everything over. His mom had just grabbed the drone when we walked in, and was really embarrassed, so

she bought everybody ice cream. Turns out the kid was recording everything while it happened, so I think I'm on YouTube going on a blind date. I mean a guy wearing a kangaroo suit. He walked over and handed my friend a flier  for some new utility repair service or something, their motto is "We Jump to Order," or something like that.

You'll notice that the word order of the above, combined story is exactly as in was each respective story, with the second story simply "spliced" right between the two sentences. Practice reading that aloud, until you don't "feel" any different when you transition from one story to another. You may be worried people are going to stop you and ask why you switched from third person (my buddy) to first person (went on a blind date) but so long as you are congruent , meaning you act like nothing's wrong, nobody else will say anything. They'll follow along, and they won't actually realize anything's up until you’re to the ice cream store part of the second story. Even if they do notice an abrupt change, so long as you act like nothing's wrong, they'll just follow along, if only to find out why there was such an abrupt change. When using more than two stories, the same principle applies. You'll find that the "deeper" you get (the more loops  you use), the more you can relax, as people's brains will start to fade and be much less likely to question anything that you are saying. Just continue to practice, as often as  you can, with as many stories as you can. Here's a good practice strategy to follow: Stage One

Physically write out three or four separate stories. Then

physically rearrange them, and read through them until  you can more or less repeat the stories (in nested loop order) without needing to read them. So long as you cover the main scenes in the right order, that's fine. Stage Two

Physically write out each story, in brief scenes. This time, when you tell them, try to do so mentally. Keep track of where you are in each story, and make the transitions where appropriate. Stage Three

 This time, just think of three or four stories, but don't write them down. Go over each of them a few times in mind, and then simply do it all mentally. Do all three stages in private, until you've got several different "loop sets" firmly in mind before you try this in front of other people. Build A Loop Library

If you're into making digital music, having a large "loop library" means having lots of short loops of music that you can arrange in different orders to create full-length songs. Consider making your own loop library of short, five or six scene stories. At first, when you're just getting the hang of doing this, any story will do. But as you gain more practice and confidence, start to create stories based on "themes." Emotional themes, advice themes, etc. The more stories  you build up in your loop library, the more effectively you'll be able to pull them out any time you need them, for any

situation. Loop Themes

A great way to start up different categories of loop themes is simply to look for opportunities where you would use them. This can be an addition to any story libraries you are already collecting. Advice stories, Hero's Journey stories, all of these can be thought of (or created) in 3 to 5 scene chunks that are easy to remember. For a Hero's Journey, they should follow the regular Hero's Journey Emotions. A couple orphan emotions, followed by one or two wandering emotions, then a warrior emotion and a final battle emotion. Realize this will take time. Learning to tell effective nested loop stories will take a lot of practice. It will almost feel like  you're learning a second language. Give it time, make sure  you understand what you are creating. Imagine the most powerful movie you've ever seen. One that brings you to tears, but in a good way. Imagine how wonderful those emotions felt. Being moved so. Now imagine being able to create that feeling in other people, simply by telling stories off the top of your head. This is what you are creating with these storytelling skills. The ability to move people on a deep level. This is a skill that can improve every area of  your life. Give it time, and allow it to grow slowly.

Deeper Loop Structures If all you did was take a few simple stories, real or made up, and then split them up into loops, you would have a skill few people have. And you'd be able to tell stories in a way that would keep people mesmerized and listening to  your every word. Before we go on and talk about deeper loop structures, why they work and how you can use them as powerfully delivery vehicles, let's talk about them just as goofy ways to tell stories. Most people think they need to come up with really interesting content. Like they were parachuting and they happened to land in the open cockpit of a crashing Russian  jet. So, unless they have something really amazing, they wait around for somebody else to tell a story. Or they keep telling goofy stories about band camp or something. Stories that are only slightly more interesting than talking about the latest TV show. Then you come along and start talking. Pretty soon everybody's hanging on your every word, and they're not sure why. Realize, at this point, you aren't delivering any advice. You don't even have any intentions other than telling goofy stories that are broken apart and put back together in a nested loop structure. Because they are broken up that way, people will be paying close attention. And they'll also notice that everybody else is paying close attention as well. But they won't really know why. So, what happens when somebody is keenly interested in something and they don't know why? They make up a reason. We humans need to have conscious reasons for our emotions. It's not in our mental structure to have a big interest in some goofy guy telling stories at a party without trying to figure out why.

And when they do come up with a reason why (which obviously won't be the real reason) they'll believe it.  They'll tell themselves things like, "He's got a lot of positive energy," or "He has a massively attractive aura," or "That guy is really on purpose." Which means if they later see  you, they'll immediately call up those feelings and those associated reasons. This means you don't have to go around talking in goofy nested loop structure. You only need to do it once or twice. Implications

 Take a moment to let that sink in. Whatever stories you have from your history, or whatever goofy stories you feel comfortable making up (the goofier they are they more people will know you're purposely making up for entertainment value) the more charismatic and magnetic  you'll come across. This without doing all the other silly stuff (much of which we'll be learning later) which is thought to be "NLP." How hard is it to take three or four simple stories and break them up? Not very. Sure, you'll need to take time practicing, but it's pretty easy. This means that whoever you are, whatever level of social popularity you have, you now have a very powerful skill of magnifying that considerably. Just start telling stories and splitting them up in nested loop structures. And when you start layering deeper techniques, you'll take your hypnotic powers to never before seen levels of social amazement. If  you've ever done anything like go to Toastmasters, or an open mic night, you now know something that few people suspect exist. Inner Loop Power

 The middle most portion of the loop is where the rubber meets the road, or your ideas blend seamlessly into their minds without them knowing what just happened. Wait, what? If you recall the loop structure, say we've got four simple stories. The first three you break into two parts. You tell all the first parts of stories one through three, then you tell story four in its entirety, then you tell the second halves of stories one through three. By the time you wrap up story one (which will be the first story you start, and the last story you finish) story four will be completely wiped from their conscious memory. Which means when you're telling story four, you can do a lot of things that you otherwise wouldn't do. You can look at people directly and say things  you'd be terrified to say, and they'll respond as if you are saying it, but then they'll later forget it. At least, they'll forget it consciously. But any emotions that you've elicited from story four (or any middle story you tell in its entirety) will remain. The content of story will be gone, but whatever emotions that those contents brought up, will remain. Example

Let's say the whole purpose of telling them a bunch of nested loops was to get them to feel much more confident about a speech they had to give in a couple weeks. And let's say you tried an "Advice Story" from a few chapters ago. Yeah, I had this buddy who had to give a speech. He said he went to the park and practiced, while sitting in his car, and kept practicing until he got better. After a while he felt more confident.

In order for the above story to work, you need a lot of rapport, and the listener has to take a pretty active part in imagining themselves going to the park and practicing. What would make it more effective? If you were purposely overly melodramatic when you told it. Stretched your voice out a lot, used big gestures, made your eyes really wide. However, if you did all of that with one story, the person would think you were a bit weird (unless that was the way  you always talked). But consider if you told this in the middle of a story, and really emphasized the important parts like this: And my friend, had to give this speech and he was SO scared! But he went to the park, and sat in his car and  practiced over and over and over until he was SCREAMING his speech like a madman, pretty soon every time he thought of giving a speech it made him laugh, and actually look  forward to speaking! Isn't that crazy?

Now if you told this on its own, the person would think, "Wow, I could never do that." Why is this? Because when  you tell them a story, one single story and then stop, they have time to think about it. To see themselves in the lead role. Even if you disable their "conscious critic" long enough to get the story in there, if that's the only story, their conscious critic might look at it, decide it's not something it wants, and kick it back out. But if you put the above in the middle of a bunch of other stories, your listener (or more importantly their conscious mind and conscious critic) won't have time  to think about it. As soon as you deliver that story-advice, and move on the rest of the stories, it (the story and the advice contained within it) will be stuck inside of them.

What's more, is once you get a few of these out, and realize that people really don't remember the middle part, you can start to feel a lot more playful, since no matter what you say, people won't consciously remember it! You'll be like those characters that can stop time, and then run around and unzip everybody's pants! (Or whatever else you imagine doing when you stop time).

Blurred Realities In NLP, there is something called a "Quotes Pattern." It allows you to say something to somebody without them think you're saying it to them. (Wait, what?) Let's say  you're a guy, and you find yourself standing next to an attractive girl at a bar. (This is an example, not a recommendation!) So, you look over at her and say this: See that guy over there in the yellow shirt? That's a friend of mine. Dude is absolutely insane. Most forward guy I've ever met. The other day we were in this club, and he looked right at this girl, never met her, didn't even introduce himself to her and said, "I'd like to take you to my place and have sex with you for hours!" Do you believe that? I could never do something like that.

Of course, when you're quoting your "friend" you look directly at the cute girl you're standing next to, look her in the eye, and say "I'd like to take you to my place and have sex with you for hours!" and while you say it, in your mind, actually feel and say it like you really were saying it to her. As soon as you finish the "quote" turn back to your friend and go on about how you could never say that. Unfortunately, this is about the extent to which people use this particular pattern. But when you are using it within a nested loop structure, or especially the middle section, you can say a lot more stuff like that, and they'll never suspect  you're saying it to them. In fact, let's take a look at the revised middle section from last chapter: And my friend, had to give this speech and he was SO scared! But he went to the park, and sat in his car and

 practiced over and over and over until he was SCREAMING his speech like a madman, pretty soon every time he thought of giving a speech it made him laugh, and actually look  forward to speaking! Isn't that crazy?

See the underlined part? When you say that, actually say that to the person you're talking to, from you to her. The reason this is called a "blurred reality" is because it's true in real life (you are actually saying it to her) and it's true about the story (you are describing your friend). The more "realities" that the statement is "true" in, the more "trance like" feelings it will induce. Consider this sentence: I was talking to my friend and he told me a story about his neighbor and his brother, and he looked at him and said there's a great fishing spot at this tiny lake up in the mountains.

 Technically, this is called "Lack of Referential Index," and while it's different than both blurred realities and nested loops, it helps illustrate why they work. If you read the above sentence, you'll see that the part where "he looked at him" is completely unclear. There are three people (besides the speaker) in the story. The friend, the friend's neighbor, and the friend's neighbor's brother. Who is "he"? Who is "him?" When our brains come across an undefined element like that, we tend to "hang" on it for a while since we aren't really sure what to make of it. So, when you put a sentence like "look forward to speaking" in a nested loop structure and it's not quite clear who is saying it to whom, the person listening will "hang" on to that statement. Think about that for a moment. If you gave somebody advice like

that, "Hey I think you should look forward to speaking," they would immediately reject it. But when you take the time to put that advice in the middle of a nested loop, and stated as within "blurred reality" their minds will hang  on to that advice, rather than get rid of it. Advice Delivery Structures

When we give advice, it's almost always rejected, unless they begged for our advice, and we are some world recognized authority on that particular advice. But when we take that same advice (which is intended to help them feel better about speaking) and carefully wrap it up in stories and quotes coming from many different people in different nested stories at the same time, they'll keep that advice  in the forefront of their mind. Take a moment to think about what this will allow you to do (once you practice the nested loop technique enough to deliver it effectively). You'll be able to deliver commands to people (more on these next) that they will be very likely to accept, rather than reject. You can actually give people advice that they will take, rather than reject. Remember the Luigi example a few chapters ago? The guy at the party whose intention was to get the girl to go with him to a restaurant, to hopefully start a relationship? Suppose he delivered a command like, "Come with me," or "Have dinner together," or something similar? Keep that in mind as we go through some further techniques in later chapters. Not Paint by Numbers

By now, you're likely starting to realize there is no "right way" or "wrong way" to deliver these. And you're hopefully realizing that this will take some practice. Sure, there are

some books of NLP patterns that you can memorize word for word, and then go out and spit them out, but that's like buying one of those paint-by-numbers kits. Everybody that buys the kit gets the same result. But here's how you can combine the best of both worlds. You can certainly take plenty of time to write out your own patterns, memorize them, and then go use them at parties or social occasions. Or if you are in sales, you can write the perfect stories, (put together in nested loops) with the perfect "blurred realities" of people saying things to other people in the story like, "See the value," or "Get excited," or "Imagine this," and any other short statements that can either build value or lower anxiety of objections. They'll be a several examples in the appendix you can use as a starting point, but the real magic with these techniques comes when you start building your own, either on the spot, or beforehand and then later say them in public.

Embedded Commands  These are the likely the most famous, and at the same time the most misunderstood and the most misused part of NLP. The most famous command is "buy now," which is supposed to mean "by now" on one level, and "buy now" on another level. For example, if you were talking to a customer, you're "supposed" to say something like this: Well Mr. Customer, I've shown you all the features and benefits so by now, you can see the value of this, and by now, you may be ready to decide what to do.

Of course, when you say the "by now" part, you really mean, "buy now," which is supposed to induce a salivating desire in the poor customer to pull out their credit cards. Unfortunately, it's not quite that effective. Let's see what is effective. What Are Commands?

Commands are simply the imperative form of the verb in a short verbal phrase. Sit down. Eat breakfast. Keep reading. Keep reading more. Laugh uncontrollably. And on and on.  They are called "embedded" commands because you put them inside of a sentence, and when you say them, you say them slightly differently than the rest of the sentence.  Taking those three "commands" from above, they might look something like this: So, the other day I was with a friend of mine and he looked at me and said, "Sit down, I need to tell you a story," so I looked around didn't see any chairs. He took off, muttering something about needing to eat breakfast, so I followed him.

We came upon this restaurant and in the front window was a sign that said, "Keep reading," but it was the only thing on the sign, so I went inside, and saw a newspaper. The headline said, "Keep reading more," so I did and then I saw the picture, and I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably. When I looked up my friend had two breakfast specials, so everything ended up OK.

Now, if you were telling that story to a friend, you would pause slightly before each underlined command, and actually say them as you would a command. Meaning that  you would say the sentence with a very slight downward intonation, and then you'd keep on saying the rest of the words in your normal storytelling voice. You may be wondering what is the point of the above commands. Told like they are, they wouldn't have much effect, if any. The thing about commands is that you need quite a few of them to have any perceptible effect. And they need to be in a certain order to be effective. For example, if you were telling that story to a group of friends, they might briefly want to sit down, but then you would keep going and they would forget it. Then you would say "Keep reading," which wouldn't make any sense. On the other hand, consider the following commands: Sit Down Relax Get Comfortable Take a Deep Breath Release Your Worry

Open Your Mind Imagine Feeling Confident

If you could wrap a story around these, especially if you were in a situation where people were already sitting, they would have much more of an effect. The key to using commands effectively is to keep them congruent with the context of the stories you are telling, and with the advice  you are hoping to give. For example, let's revisit that middle story again (with the imaginary guy in the car practicing his speech) and this time we'll put in a lot more commands. I knew this guy that needed to give a good speech , but he hadn't ever given one before. His boss told him you should  practice , so he thought that was a good idea. He read an article on the Internet, and the article said you should  practice in your car. He told his wife, and his wife looked at him and said, "that's a really good idea to practice in your car. Why don't you practice every day, until you feel confident enough to give the speech outside of your car," so he did. Pretty soon he decided to  practice in public , while walking around the path at the park. Pretty soon he  felt really confident, and he was able to look forward to speaking. When the day came, he was able to give a good speech, and even look everybody in the eye  while he did it. When he was done, he was really glad he read that article and made the decision to take this advice.

If you told this story by itself, they would probably suspect  you were telling them advice and trying to be clever and wrap it up inside of a story. But if this was a story that was crammed in between a few others stories? Notice also that

some of these are commands, and some of these are quotes, and the quotes are different. The article says to do something, the guy's wife says to do something, etc. All the while you are looking the person dead in the eye (while also telling them to look people in the eye, which they are doing that while you tell them about how somebody else was telling somebody to look somebody in the eye...) Review

Let's review where we are. You're at a party, and somebody said they have to give a speech, and they feel nervous. You've decided to covertly help them out. So, you've waited for a lull in the conversation, and then start talking. Maybe  you tell a story about a kangaroo, or some kid in an ice cream shop, and maybe some singing people at Home Depot. But then out of nowhere, you slam their brain over and over and over with commands to feel confident, practice, etc., and then finish all the other stories. Also, consider the "chain of commands" is itself a mini "Hero's  Journey." Somebody starting out with a task, looking for help, shifting from orphan to wanderer to warrior (looking people in the eye). Compare this to the general advice of, "You're giving a speech? Maybe you should practice or something..." which usually falls on deaf ears. Is this complicated? Absolutely. But once you've got this technique down, you'll be able to pull it out anywhere, anytime and make people feel absolutely fantastic. And that's just giving advice. What about getting people to buy  your products, or give you their number, or getting your spouse to buy a house in neighborhood X instead of neighborhood Y? As they say in those goofy infomercials, "Wait, there's more!" We're just getting warmed up!

Emotional Flow  The next skill you can add into your bag of tricks is to chain specific emotions throughout your looped stories. Anywhere you can drop a chain of emotions that represent the Hero's Journey progression, it will make your message much more powerful, and significantly increase the likelihood of whatever outcome you're intending, be it a change in perception or an actual change in behavior on the part of your listener. First, let's review a simple nested loop story structure. Four stories of five "chunks" or "scenes" each can be told as follows: 1A - 1B - 1C - 2A - 2B - 2C - 3A- 3B - 3C - 4A - 4B - 4C 4D - 4E - 3D - 3E - 2D - 2E - 1D - 1E  The central story, number four, is told from start to finish. Because story four is nested between all of the other stories it won't be consciously remembered, so you can "get away" with putting a lot of blatant commands and anchors (more on those later) in that particular story. But to make things even more powerful, you can make the entire structure follow the Hero's Journey emotions, from start to finish, as they are listed above. Meaning that the actual content of the stories will be hard to follow, but the emotions will follow an expected Hero's  Journey sequence. Recall that Hero's Journey stories are in three (or perhaps four, depending how long the "final battle" takes place) sections. The Orphan Stage, the Wanderer Stage, the Warrior Stage, and then the Final Battle. Let's figure four sections, just to be consistent. In the above nested loop example, we've got twenty separate "chunks." But here's something to consider. To make the

fourth story, which is in the center of the loop, much more powerful and effective, let's leave that out. Meaning let's leave that as its own separate Hero's Journey sequence. And layered on top (or rather around) we can use the other "chunks" to lay down another Hero's Journey sequence of emotions. That leaves us with fifteen chunks or scenes that are separate from story four. If we assume four separate emotional categories (Orphan, Wanderer, Warrior and Final Battle) that leaves us with three or four emotions for each category. It might break down as follows. 1A 1B 1C 2A - Orphan Emotions

Feelings of inadequacy, being left behind, alone, no support, not sure what to do, bored, wanting more but not quite confident enough to make it happen. 2B 2C 3A 3B 3C - Wanderer Emotions

On the path, leaving the safety of home, seeing how big the world really is, meeting friends and colleagues who are also on some kind of journey, but at the same time nobody really knows what's going on. Story Four

 The entire Hero's Journey, from start to finish. A selfcontained, story about starting from scratch, figuring stuff out, getting things done (killing the monster) and become a "better person" because of it. This story is filled with embedded commands that are also laid out along the Hero's Journey Sequence. 3D 3E 2D - Warrior Emotions

Knowing exactly what needs to be done. Understanding the task at hand and making the decision to move forward, with the support of friends, skills or tools. 1D 1E – Final Battle

 The final battle, the monster is killed, the task is complete and the hero character has moved into a new phase of life.  To be sure, this is a lot to keep in mind. And it's very unlikely that you'll ever be able to pull a full-fledged nested loop, Hero's Journey story out of your back pocket complete with anchors (more on these later) and embedded commands. But you certainly can start to write some out, and practice them.  The best comedians, even those that do Improv where they ask the audience for topics and riff off those topics seemingly off the tops of their heads don't actually do it as spontaneously as it appears. In reality they have several stories on several different topics that they've memorized. While they are certainly improvising the order in which they tell these stories, the stories themselves are highly practiced and well-rehearsed. Top speakers, actors, and other performers only seem to be "in the moment." In reality they are repeating something they have said out loud (in the privacy of their own home or studio) thousands of time. Make It Simple

Make it easy to remember, and easy to practice. Start to collect a large number of personal stories and anecdotes. If

these are things that have actually happened to you, you won't need to write them out word for word. Writing them out in scenes or chunks is enough. Shoot for four or five per story. And make the first half Orphan-Wanderer type stories. Make the second halves Warrior-Final Battle type stories. Then you can use any stories, and tell the first halves of a few of them before the "middle" story, and just pick up on the second halves. This way, any particular story can either be the separated parts (either before the central part or after the central part) or the central part itself. Break Them Down by Content

Since most people tend to think in terms of content (the things that actually happen in the story) rather than the structure (the emotions or the Hero's Journey emotional sequence) you'll need to start off on the same content they are. Meaning if they are talking about having an issue with their relationship, you'll need to start off with relationshiptopic stories before branching off. The rest of the stories don't really need to have anything to do with relationships.  The story you'll be starting with (1A, 1B, etc.) and the story  you'll be finishing with (1D, 1E) will be the relationship story. The middle stories (2, 3, 4, etc.) don't have to have anything to do with relationships.  This is certainly confusing to think about if you're just getting started. But pretty soon you'll realize that once you start thinking in terms of Hero's Journey emotional sequences, you'll see these emotional structures everywhere. Even a little kid walking from the counter at the mall back to her mom's table with an ice cream cone can follow the Hero's Journey emotional sequence.

Homework

Start to collect Hero's Journey Emotional Sequence Stories.  They should be at least four "scenes" long, and move from Orphan to Wanderer to Warrior to Final Battle. Each story shouldn't take more than a minute to tell. Write down the scenes and then practicing telling the story. Rehearse at home, or in the car while you are driving, and practice putting as much of the appropriate emotions into the stories as you can while telling them.

Spatial Anchors  There's a myth in NLP that politicians go to a secret school where they are all taught the top secret, "black magic" tricks of NLP and that allows them to gain such massive social power. By the time you finish reading this particular chapter, you'll know exactly why this myth is absolutely false, and you'll be able to prove it to anybody you like within a minute. In fact, a close second (or maybe a close first) to this myth is that "there is no such thing as NLP." You'll be able to prove one of these myths, hopefully both, but one will be easier to prove, and the second will be easy to explain first, and prove later. Wait, what? Keep reading! First of all, let's talk about what NLP really "is." It is a set of tools, a method of communicating. But it was not "invented" from scratch. It was "reverse engineered" from people who were naturally persuasive. It is true that a lot of NLP was reverse engineered from Dr. Milton Erickson, who himself "invented" covert hypnosis, or Ericksonian Hypnosis as it is more appropriately called. But in the course of studying Dr. Erickson's language patterns and communication styles, they were also "inventing" another part of NLP which had also been around for a long time. Namely the "skill" of "modeling." Modeling is another NLP buzzword which means "copying." How did you learn to walk? You copied your parents and the other adults. How did humans learn before schools were "invented?" They copied from experts. If you wanted to be a blacksmith, you got a job (as soon as you were old enough) at your local blacksmith shop. You cleaned up and did other dirty work until he trusted that you were serious. Then he allowed you to watch him work (while still cleaning up). If you did that long enough, he started to teach you how to do what he

did. If you kept it up long enough you were as good as him.  This usually took years, even decades. Often times this went from father to son, or mother to daughter. But this is how all humans learned all things before school was invented. So, whenever they talk about "modeling" in NLP, it's something that has literally been done since the dawn of time (older cavemen teaching younger cave kids how to hunt and kill zebras, for example). Anyhow, back to those sneaky politicians. NLP was "modeled" from Milton Erickson and other "naturally persuasive" people. The way they speak, the way the move when they speak, etc. One of the key components people "learn" in NLP seminars is something called "Anchoring."  This is something advertisers have used for years, long before NLP ever "invented" it. What is anchoring? It's simply taking a stimulus, and transferring the "cause" of that stimulus from one "event" to another. Russian Scientist Pavlov did this with dogs and bells. He got them to salivate at the ringing of the bell instead of the smell of food. Advertisers do this with products. They put a sexy girl next to a car, and our "I want that!" response to the girl is transferred (hopefully) to the car. In NLP seminars, they teach you how to elicit a feeling from somebody, touch them on the shoulder to "set" that particular anchor. The idea being the later, when you touch them on the shoulder,  you will get them to feel that feeling. Remember our discussion on embedded commands a few chapters ago, and how you need a lot more than just the famous "Buy now!" command? Well, the same goes for anchors as well. It's pretty tough, (unless you've got a LOT of rapport) to set and then later "fire off" an anchor effectively. Studies show that the average person has to see

an ad six times before it finally "sinks in." Which means we need to see that bikini girl next to the car a bunch of times before it works. It took Pavlov several times to "shift" the salivation response in the dogs from the smell of the food to the bell. But don't worry, you won't need to be touching anybody while you're talking. You'll be setting "spatial anchors." Spatial Anchors

 These are very simple, yet people tend to make them very complex. All you really need to do is gesture on one side (for sake of argument we'll use your right side) when you talk about "good" things or things you want your listener to believe or do. And when you gesture on your left side, it's for something "bad" or things you want your listener to not believe or not do. That's it. There's no reason to get more complicated. Of course, first you'll need to "set" the anchors. It might go something like this. For sake of clarity (R) will be a gesture on the Right Side and (L) will be a gesture on the left side. This can be a simple as moving  your hand a little bit away from your body when you make a point. Set the Anchor

 The other day I was walking down the street and I saw a fire (L) at this shop downtown. Luckily, it happened while nobody was in there, so everybody was safe (R). But then when I talked to the owner, he'd forgotten to pay his last insurance payment (L) so he wasn't sure if he was covered. He asked to borrow my phone, since his was destroyed in the fire (L). I gave him mine and he called his insurance company and found out he was still covered (R). Just then

his insurance agent showed up and said everything was going to be fine (R). We ended up going to his friend’s house, where we had this really delicious lasagna (R) that his wife made. After we finished, his business partners came by and they decided when they rebuild his shop, it would be a lot better (R). Fire the Anchor

Wow, you have to give a speech? That's terrible (L). I had a friend once who also had to give a speech, but then he found this weird article online on how to become confident  (R). It said that if you take the time to practice the speech (R) it will get easier and easier. He decided to try this (R) and go down to the park. He didn't want to wait until the last minute (L) and have to wing it (L). So, he decided to practice at the park (R) every day for an hour. Pretty soon he knew he would do well (R). And when he gave the speech, he could feel comfortable (R) and everybody was happy (R). Notice what happens when you combine "good" anchors with embedded commands? The Proof of The Myths

Now, understanding spatial anchors is pretty easy. Using spatial anchors is pretty easy. The most difficult part is remembering to use them. Now, remember this next time  you see a politician on TV. You'll notice their gestures are all over the place. They aren't separated at all between "good things" and "bad things." Since spatial anchors are easy to understand, and easy to use, you'd think politicians using black magic NLP would be using them.

But they aren't. Which suggests that they are just naturally charismatic and persuasive, and they don't really know why. Next Myth

Is there really "no such thing as NLP?" Clearly there is. But here's the thing. People that allegedly "know" NLP or have "been trained" in NLP have, at best, sat in seminar for a week or two. They've likely not practiced it at all. Imagine if  you learned sports like that. Or how to play an instrument. Or you went to a seminar in a foreign language for a weekend. Would you be able to speak it? Not likely! So, it's not that "NLP" doesn't exist, it's that people who have any amount of skill in NLP don't exist. Don't be one of those people! The skills in this book will take you very far. You'll become much more persuasive and elegant. You can sell more stuff, and even get people to fall in love you with. But it takes practice. Luckily, few people will ever practice these skills enough to get really good at them. Which means if you do, then you will have a huge advantage over all those other goofs with their NLP Master Practitioner Certificates!

Common Structures Let's take a bit of a breather and review where we are. This stuff is hard to keep track of. We're talking about emotions and imaginary characters and how we use our words, and this can become very trance-like. But I strongly urge you to take your time to not only understand this from a structural level, but to really take the time, effort and dedication to practice this. Not just to practice this, but to master this. Common Fears

One common internal objection (fear) you'll have about these techniques is that they sound strange. You'll imagine that you'll start talking in terms of stories and loops and anchors and gestures and embedded commands, and people will stop you mid-sentence and say, "Wait, why did  you just move your hand like that? Are you trying something sneaky?" This is a common fear, but it's also very misplaced. The only thing people will notice is that you are nervous. If you're nervous, they won't why, so they'll look for a reason. They may notice you are talking "funny" and you're nervous. But they won't have any idea why.  They'll just come up with a reason, and they'll believe it to be true. Remember a couple of chapters ago, when we said that if you speak in broken stories (without even using emotions or commands or gestures or anything) people won't help but find you intriguing? They'll want to know why, and they'll come up with a reason why. Never in a million years (unless they've been studying NLP on the side) will they have any clue exactly why. The same goes with if you are super nervous, and you notice people watching your hands when you try and use gestures.

 They'll come up with a reason why you are talking a little "funny" and using your gestures in a "weird" way, but they'll have no clue of the REAL reason. Ease into It

If you feel nervous about this, a good way to start would be to just use some carefully chosen stories, and go through them with Hero's Journey emotions, as much as you can express them. Once you tell a few those stories, mix in some embedded commands. Once you feel comfortable adding the commands, add in some gestures. Once you feel confident that you can go through a story or two, start to finish, with some commands and some gestures, try two. Start one, break it in half, and then tell one start to finish, and then finish the second one. Broken Stories Are Everywhere

If you pay close attention to how people speak naturally,  you'll find that people do this all the time. Meaning they'll start a story, and then break it off, and then start talking about another story. Rarely does somebody start a story, even a short, one minute anecdote, and go from start to finish. People start stories, they get halfway through, and then they are reminded, in the moment, of another similar story, so they go off on that tangent. Erickson Didn't Invent New Words

When Milton Erickson invented his style of hypnosis, he used the same words and word structures that people use naturally. In fact, if you listen to people, you'll notice that people use commands all the time. But just like their

gestures (which people use all the time) they don't use them with any conscious thought or intention. They just use them to emphasize certain words and phrases. Hero's Journey Stories Are Everywhere

People naturally love Hero's Journey stories, because they naturally pace the natural flow of our lives. They are the natural stories we respond to. They are the stories we like to hear. Imagine an advertiser who has a contest, somebody who can write the best sales letter. So, they get a thousand applicants, and they test them. They see which ones get the best responses. And lo and behold, the winner has some kind of a Hero's Journey emotional sequence. Does the writer understand anything about the Hero's  Journey? Probably not. They just "know" what type of story sounds good and what kind doesn't. And the advertiser doesn't care one way or another, and chances are they don't know one way or another. They just want to use what works. Top level advertisers for famous products use a Hero's Journey emotional sequence in their ads, in their commercials, even on their billboards. Do they know they are doing so? Maybe, maybe not. But they do know what works, and what doesn’t. Putting Things Together

People use gestures all the time. People use certain tonality that is different from the rest of their speech all the time. People start stories and then halfway through start other stories all the time. People naturally respond to, and attempt to tell Hero's Journey stories all the time, because that's what we like to hear. But nearly ninety nine percent of the time (perhaps more) we are using all of these

techniques randomly and haphazardly. Remember this next time you see a politician giving a rousing speech that gets massive applause, but are using gestures that are completely random and all over the place. Most people use the techniques in this guide as haphazardly as those politicians throw their hands around without even thinking. Resonance is Powerful

Imagine two people on a tandem bicycle. Unless they are in perfect sync, they will be fighting each other. They will be going slower, while pedaling together, than they would be if they were on two separate bikes. Think of all the things we've discussed so far. Hero's Journey content. Hero's  Journey emotional sequences. Nested loops. Embedded commands. Chained emotions. Spatial anchoring. When  you put all these together, even slightly better than haphazardly, with only a little bit of a thought and after only a little bit of practice, you will be spellbinding. People will hang on your every word. You can take the most blatant commands (buy now, have dinner with me, become interested, feel attraction, take a risk, enjoy life, become confident) and inject them into their brains with surgical precision. Lifelong Pursuit

See telling stories, anecdotes and covert advice (or covert persuasion if you like) as one of those "life skills" that needs to practiced forever. Or at least until you leave this realm and go into the next one. The more you practice, the better you'll get. The better you deliver profound teachings or advice or persuasion by slipping a story in here or there,

the easier life will be. You'll gain more respect, earn more money, and become much more attractive. Consider seeing part of your mission on Earth, for as long as you are here, to incorporate storytelling as much as you can, however  you can, into whatever you do. And in case you were wondering, there's a couple more layers down the rabbit hole that will make this stuff even squishier. Hang on!

Metaphors It can be very tempting to dive deep into the world of metaphors, and it is very useful to understand what they are and how they operate, however there is an unexpected danger. Some of the most beautiful metaphors come in written form. Think about what that means. They are meant to be read, discussed, talked about, read again years later, talked about again, understood on a different level. Some metaphors have been around for thousands of years. However, when constructing stories to tell to friends at parties, or use in sales and seduction, metaphors run the risk of becoming too confusing to understand. Remember, the idea is to create a set of specific chain of emotions, most likely that will lead to a specific action. This can backfire if you tell several nested loops steeped in beautiful metaphors. People might realize you are a gifted storyteller, but at the same time not have any idea what you are talking about! Therapy

Recall that these techniques were first developed for therapeutic use. A patient has a difficult problem that they want to get rid of. Perhaps they've been trying for years to get rid of it with no success. So, they come and see the therapist, who speaks directly to them. The therapist knows that the purpose of the conversation is to get rid of the patient's problem. The patient (even though they might not understand the deeper meaning of the conversation) is well aware that the entire purpose of the conversation is to help them get rid of their problem. Both speaker and listener are aware of the problem, and want to get of it. You might even think of this metaphorically as a "battle." The

therapist, and part of the patient (who wants to get rid of the problem) vs. the part of the t he patient that sees a benefit in having the problem for some reason. After all, if every part of the patient knew the problem prob lem was a "problem" they wouldn't have it! Social Conversations

Compare this to social conversations. Chances are you have an idea for telling stories when other o ther people don't exactly know why you are telling stories. Sure, when we humans get together and talk, we follow unspoken u nspoken and loosely understood set of "rules." We take turns talking, we sort of stay on the same topic, or o r if we change topics we have a reason for doing so. It's generally frowned upon up on to give unasked for advice, especially if somebody hasn't expressed any kind of desire for a solution. solutio n. So, when you see an opportunity to help somebody, you've got to be careful to be vague enough so they don't think you're giving them advice, but if you use u se too many or too complicated metaphors you run the risk of being completely misunderstood. This is good news, because you don't really need to spend a lot of time doing much of anything other than telling stories from your own experience. But if you want to have a lot of fun, and enjoy making people feel really good whenever you're around, then metaphors can be a great way to go. You Can't Not Use Metaphors

Metaphors make up a large portion of our everyday language. So, when thinking of using "metaphors" that's kind of like thinking about using nouns and verbs. You can't really speak without using verbs, you can't speak

without using nouns and you can't speak without using metaphors. Even when you tell stories about something that happened to you a few days ago, that's a metaphor for the advice you are giving. If you say, "Wow, you have a speech, you should practice before giving it," that is blatant advice. But if you say, "Wow, I had to give a speech like that once. And some guy in my office told me to practice every day in the car on the way to work, and it really helped," this is the same advice, but wrapped up in a metaphor. You're even using the blurred reality technique.  The character in your story story told you to "practice every every day" and you're looking at the conversational partner and telling them to "practice every day." Metaphor Examples

 Take a gander at the following short story: Yesterday I was walking down the street, and I saw this gorgeous girl. I instantly fell in love. Then my girlfriend snatched my attention and when I answered my phone and we had an argument. I had to defend my position, and explained that while we were going through some tough times, there was light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, she didn't see it the same way, and wanted me to swear on a stack of bibles that we'd fix it before her sister's wedding, which is coming up really quickly.

How many metaphors did you notice? Let us count the ways... Fall in Love

Love is not a thing. So how exactly does one "fall into"

something that doesn't exist? George Lakoff, a student of Noam Chomsky, theorized that when we use intangible nouns (like "love") our monkey brains have to treat them as if  they  they were a real object. And to see what kind of object our monkey brains think they are, we can look at the preposition. That word that we use just before a noun. In this case, we use the preposition "in" which suggests we think of "love" as some kind of container. And not just any container, but one you "fall" into. Watch out! My girlfriend snatched...

I was staring at the girl on the street, and my phone rang and I saw it was my girlfriend. I quickly felt guilty and stopped thinking about her, and started thinking about her. (Huh?). My attention was "snatched" implies she (my girlfriend) knew about her (they mystery woman) and quickly and forcibly "pulled" my attention. (Another intangible noun.) I had to defend my position...

We had an argument, and I defended my position. po sition. This tells us we see "arguments" (intangible noun) as some kind k ind of battle, since we "defend" our "position" (another intangible noun). Going through some tough times...

Going through implies physical movement, which suggests we think of the term "tough "tou gh times" is something we go "through" like it's a barrier or a big mountain through which we need to build a tunnel. (I'm using the metaphor of a tunnel going through a mountain to describe the

metaphor of going through tough times which is a metaphor for an imaginary couple having disagreements on several different unknown (and also imaginary) topics.) Light at the end of the tunnel...

 This one is pretty easy, easy, since it's ubiquitous. We might soon have a solution to those problems. p roblems. We are almost at the "end" of whatever we are going through. She didn't see it the same way...

What exactly is "it" in this sentence? Our argument? The proposed resolution to our argument? Whatever it is, not seeing "it" the same way means she has a different opinion about "it" than I do. Swear on a stack of bibles...

Another ubiquitous metaphor for making a solemn promise. Just out of curiosity, how many historical figures have ever literally sworn on an actual stack of bibles? Is their truth eliciting power additive somehow? Is a stack of three more believable than two? We'd fix "it" before the wedding...

Again, the word "fix" indicates that "it" is a problem that is broken and is in need of o f repair. But when you have an argument with somebody, it's due to two different subjective viewpoints. Not something like a bicycle that can be objectively "broken" and in need of "fixing." You're Already Using Metaphors

 The good news is of course that your language is already steeped in metaphors. You just need to stand back a bit, and look at them from a different angle, so you can maybe use them a bit more effectively. Let's look at how to do that next.

How to Build Metaphors In order to build a metaphor to be used in a persuasive story, or a story that is intending to create a specific emotion, you need to understand how you are going to move the person's emotions. Compare this to literary metaphors, which are more like works of art. When artists create their works, they understand that everybody will have a different opinion. A writer describing a scene chooses metaphors the way a painter would choose certain colors to paint certain objects. They are way of expressing the artist or writer's interpretation of what they are describing. If you told a story like this, it would be like coming up with a story, leaving it "out there" for everybody to interpret however they wanted to. There is huge merit in this. However, if you are intending to create a very specific outcome or emotion, you are going to need to construct  your metaphors based on how you expect they'll be interpreted. The Purpose of Communication

One of the "presuppositions" of NLP is the meaning of your communication is based solely on the listener or reader.  This is of course an opinion, but it's very helpful. It simply means that when we’re stringing words together to get a specific response from somebody, we need to have a pretty good idea how the person will interpret our words. For this reason, it's better to come up with simpler metaphors that more complex ones. Metaphors where it's easy to both understand the meaning, while at the same time not feel like advice is being given. Aesop's Fables

 These are fantastic stories that have clear meanings. Even if we didn't read the punchline of the Tortoise and the Hare, we instinctively know the meaning. Now suppose you were talking to a group of people at a party, and somebody mentioned they had to give a speech, and you decided to tell a story about a baby crow that was too shy to caw. (or whatever crows do when they make noise). It was time for the baby crow to stand guard on the crow community, but he was terrified of bringing attention to himself. So, he decided to fly somewhere where nobody would hear him and practice. Pretty soon, when he realized he didn't sound terrible, he went back and said he was ready. Now, if you  just started telling the story, people would probably look at  you funny. And despite it being a cute story with a helpful message, everybody would know it was an attempt to give advice. So, how would you deliver this? Metaphor Stories Are Perfect Centers

 That short story would be absolutely perfect to place as the center story, told from start to finish, in between several other stories that have been broken up. How would  you introduce it? The easiest and most believable way is to have one character tell the story to another character. Let's say that you have four stories, broken apart into loops as we talked about earlier. Let's say that you get to 3C (the third part of story three) and then tell story four (the crow story) and then pick up with 3D (the fourth party of story three) when you're finished with the crow story. You could end part 3C by talking about how one character looked at another character and told them the story about the crow.  This will even help you be more confident, because you tell

the story of the crow to the listener, you can pretend to be a character in story three, talking to another story in story three, so you can get away with acting a bit more goofy and melodramatic than you normally are. Because after all, it's not really you that's telling this goofy crow story, right? It's some weird old guy you used to work with that told your buddy a story about a crow to help him get ready for his first big presentation! How to Make Metaphors

 This is definitely going to take some practice. But all you need to do is start thinking in terms of structure, rather than content. Let's continue with the problem of being nervous to give a speech. And let's go with the solution to practice giving the speech alone in the car. Every time you get a problem, and some kind of proposed solution, start to brainstorm different ways of expressing the same problem and solution. The following are some simple metaphorical examples of that problem, and some metaphorical examples of the solution (practicing in your car) or any metaphor that represents overcoming that fear. Problem - Giving a Speech

Baby lion afraid to roar Volcano afraid to erupt Little kid playing bingo, afraid to call out "Bingo!" Earthquake fault afraid to shake Young (famous actor or singer) with stage fright

Vegas stickman, first day on the job, afraid to yell out "Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!" Solution - Practice Alone or Overcome Fear

Lion practices roaring at mice in the jungle Volcano waits until pressure builds up and then explodes Little kid practiced saying it in his head five times Earthquake practiced with minor tremors before the big one Actor or famous person practicing in their basement in front of their cat Vegas Stickman practices saying, "Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!" at the drive-thru when ordering dinner Are these examples goofy? Of course! But so is a story about a turtle racing a rabbit, and the rabbit stopping to take a nap every five minutes. Yet that is one of the most famous "advice stories" of all time and has been told over and over for thousands of years! Become A Metaphor Collector

One of the reasons that Dr. Erickson was so effective was that he heard the same problems over and over. Remember, people are more similar that we generally think. We all want the same things, and we all tend to have the same problems. Even by watching your favorite TV

show, and keeping a "problem journal" you'll soon realize that there's a whole lot of problems out there. Once you've got a few problems collected in your "problem journal" (want to lose weight but can't, afraid to ask somebody on a date, need more money but don't know how, etc.) you can start coming up with short, metaphorical stories to pace the problem and deliver a solution. Often times, just pacing the problem, and showing a solution (without explicitly stating HOW the solution was arrived at) will be enough. For example, if you are telling the story about the earthquake fault that was practicing with small tremors before the big one, the person listening will think, (at least subconsciously) "Wow, even powerful earthquakes are scared when they're just starting out. I guess it's pretty common." Where to Find Metaphors

Everywhere! Especially cartoons, or anything designed for little kids. But pretty much everywhere. Mountains, rivers, stars. The truth is that if you put a metaphorical story in the middle of a nested loop, you can have a computer mouse talking to a mouse pad to illustrate communication and teamwork, or anything else you want. Solutions by Example

Remember how humans learn? By modeling. By copying other people. What you are doing with these metaphors is simply giving them something to copy, and delivering it in way that will remove all of their conscious resistance. If they were a child, five years old, telling them the story directly would work.

I know that you're scared to go to school. That's normal. Did you know that little earthquakes are also scared? That's what small earthquakes that we can barely feel are. They're  just little and trying their best. But they grow up to be big strong earthquakes, just like you will be a big strong person someday. And it all starts with your first day of school! Pretty soon you'll be able to shake the whole world!

Which in reality, is the same thing we're doing with metaphors. You've just got to "hide them" in the middle of a bunch of other stories so you can get it in there where they'll accept it.

Step by Step Example We're now ready to look at a situation where we might use a full-blown set of nested loops, complete with blurred realities, metaphorical stories, embedded commands, spatial anchors, and a set of Hero's Journey chained emotions. Situation

Let's say you're at a party at a friend’s house. You work in an office with the house owner, and there are about thirty people mingling about. Some are coworkers, whom you know, some are neighbors and friends, whom you don't know. You happen to be standing among a group of similarly aged people, and you see an interesting person  you'd like to make an impression on. Everybody is kind of chatting, you've introduced yourself to this interesting person, and everybody knows everybody on a first name basis. You don't know much about the other people in your group, but you suspect they are all close to your demographic. The person you are speaking to says they have a really big presentation at work next Friday. Half of the people there will be colleagues, but they'll be a few big shots from corporate coming in. You sense that there is a lot riding on this presentation, but you aren't exactly sure what is. Gathering Information

As best you can tell, the problem is they are going to give a very important presentation the following Friday. Half of the audience will be upper level management at the company. All you know about this person is that they are

in marketing. You make some assumptions that they'll be using equipment, like a laptop a projector, and probably a PowerPoint presentation. You imagine the presentation will involve charts, graphs, as you’ve heard them mention, "sales projections." Possible Solutions

If you had time, and their attention, you might suggest they make sure they know who's coming, and what their specific jobs are. You would also recommend that they practice the presentation with some of their colleagues a few times, and have them play devil's advocate, and purposely ask difficult and unexpected questions. But you feel if you give this advice directly, it won't be "congruent" with the conversation, which is mostly light, since the people in that immediate group don't seem to know each other very much. So, you decide to tell a nested loop, with four stories, each with five parts, and a goofy metaphor at the center. Hero's Journey Emotions Orphan - Lonely, worried, unsure, left behind, insufficient

skills, bored Wanderer  - Outside the comfort zone, finding friends,

learning skills Warrior  - Fully accepting the challenge, getting ready for

the fight, accepting whatever comes Final Battle - Nervous, worried, but committed. Looking

danger in the face and achieving victory.

Story One 1A

I had to give a speech (orphan) 1B

I had no clue how to start (orphan) 1C

 Thought about calling in sick (orphan) 1D

Looked up information online (final battle -acceptance) 1E

Found a perfect template that worked like a charm (final battle - victory) Story Two 1A

Pizza delivery job in college (orphan) 2B

Weird guy I delivered to that helped me find my way around town (wanderer)

2C

Earned lots of money in tips (wanderer) 2D

Bought an awesome laptop (Warrior) 2E

Used it to get really good grades (Warrior) Story Three 3A

Had a crazy professor at school (wanderer) 3B

Used to go off on weird tangents (wanderer) 3C

One day completely went off topic and told a crazy story to the class (wanderer) 3D

Later he gave me great advice on career (wanderer) 3E

Got me my first job (wanderer) Story Four - Metaphor 4A

Young Samurai (orphan) 4B

Scared to fight, no teachers, no role models (orphan) 4C

Got lost, ended up in a cave (wanderer) 4D

 Taught by an old master - all the moves (wanderer) 4E

Returned to the village a hero (Victorious Warrior Hero) We'll tell the story in the following order: 1A - 1B - 1C - 2A - 2B - 2C - 3A- 3B - 3C - 4A - 4B - 4C 4D - 4E - 3D - 3E - 2D - 2E - 1D - 1E Or listed sequentially, like this: 1A- I had to give a speech (orphan) 1B- I had no clue how to start (orphan) 1C- Thought about calling in sick (orphan)

2A - Delivery job in college (orphan) 2B - Weird guy I delivered to (wanderer) 2C - Earned lots of money (wanderer) 3A - Crazy professor (wanderer) 3B - Used to tell weird stories (wanderer) 3C - one day completely went off topic (wanderer) 4A - Young Samurai (orphan) 4B - Scared to fight (orphan) 4C - Got lost, ended up in a cave (wanderer) 4D - Taught by an old master (wanderer) 4E - Returned a hero (Victorious Hero) 3D - Gave great advice on career (wanderer) 3E - Got me my first job (wanderer) 2D - Bought an awesome laptop (Warrior) 2E - Used it to get good grades (Warrior) 1D- Looked up information online (final battle -acceptance) 1E- Found a perfect template (final battle - victory) R - right gesture L - left gesture SP - self point (briefly gesture toward yourself) Bolded underline - embedded commands BR – Blurred Reality Oh, man, you've got to give a speech? That sucks! (L) I remember the first time I had to do that, I had zero idea even where to begin! (L) Man, I was freaked! (L) I seriously thought about calling in sick, maybe the whole week. It was like this job I had in college, I first started, no direction, no idea, I was delivering pizzas, but I didn't know the area, was afraid I was going to get robbed or beaten. (L) Just driving around totally clueless. One dude I delivered a pizza who invited me in and he actually had a map of the area, I told him I was new and I didn't know where I was going.

Lucky for him I didn't get fired on my first night! I ended up making a lot of cash (R) on that job. I mean way more cash (R) than I ever knew what to do with! I loved (R) college, I had this crazy econ teacher, who would always go off on these weird tangents, that had nothing to do with anything. I mean we'd sit there, look at him and wonder, "What the heck is this guy even talking about?" (SP, BR) I mean he would go on and on and nobody knew where this story was going. (BR) Once he told us this awesome story (R) about this orphan samurai. He didn't have any parents, (L) even though he was born as a samurai, I guess you have to be born into that. Anyway, one day he was wandering around up in the hills, looking for food, and he found this cave, and he said to himself, "I might as well keep following this to see where it goes," (SP, BR) right? So, he goes in this cave and there's this old man who says, "I've been waiting for you. Are you ready to begin your training?" And the kid’s like, "Yeah, whatever, let's get started," and for the next ten years this old guy in a cave trains this kid on how to become a samurai . (R) He said, "In order to defeat the opposition, you must be ready  for the unexpected. (R) Which means you must practice what you fear  (R) most, over and over, until you can defeat anything  (R) they throw at you," and so the kid trains and trains and when he got back to the town where he was born, they had a bunch of bandits that had taken over, but he easily got rid of them, and they made him mayor or whatever they do with samurais. But that professor despite being really goofy was actually pretty good. He ended up being my advisor, and because of his recommendation he got me a good job. And when I graduated I was able to make a ton of money (R) from my pizza delivery job, part of which I used to buy an awesome laptop, since I was dead broke when I started. It really was able to make everything easy , (R) I don't think I would have done so well without it.

So I started looking up presentations online, and I found this one that was nearly perfect for what I needed. I only had to change a couple of things, and after I decided to practice at home  (R) for a week, I was able to give an awesome  presentation  (R) and it worked like a charm. Nobody even asked me any questions.

We haven't talked about self-pointing (SP) but it works much gesturing to the right (assuming right = good). In this case, we used it to help blur realities. Twice the person paced the part that they themselves were telling a strange meandering story, but they were quoting somebody within the story saying and doing the same thing. This will give the listeners a much more "trance-like" effect. Now the above story will take two, maybe three minutes to get through. And you're only using personal experiences (albeit a bit (or quite) embellished) and you're adding in the samurai story as told by one of your professors, which makes it absolutely believable. And will have the wonderful effect of not only entertaining everybody, but giving them the feeling of being an undefeatable warrior whenever standing up to give a speech. Not bad for a three-minute story told at a party! However powerful that little story is, it is very complicated. How in the heck are you supposed to build up your skill level so you can let a story like that roll off your tongue at a party? That's what we'll be talking about next.

Practice Structures No matter what you want to get better at, you'll get better with practice. If you want to learn a new language, the more you practice, the better you'll get. If you want to be a better baseball player, the more you practice, the better  you'll get. And in a lot of our examples, if you want to get better at giving speeches, practicing will help, even if it's inside of your car. Structure Practice

 The heart of purposeful storytelling is the art of delivering a piece of advice, suggestion, or recommended course of action wrapped inside a story. There's a few cookbooks specifically made for parents of small children who absolutely refuse to eat their vegetables. The recipes are ways to hide the vegetables into otherwise enjoyable food for the kids. Stories are somewhat similar. Grownups don't like advice like kids don't like vegetables, even though they believe it's "good for them." So, we hide our advice in stories, so they won't notice it. This is a good frame of mind to operate from when telling these stories. To think of them as "covert advice delivery techniques." And the story in the last chapter was a way to do that. You set up a plausible story where one character is looking at another character and giving the advice. The advice has to be similar in structure to the advice you would give to the listener of  your story, but different enough to not break the feeling of "suspended disbelief" of the story listeners. If you go back and read the embedded commands from the previous story,  you'll see they are what you'd expect a master swordsman to tell a young samurai, but they can also be applied to somebody who is getting ready to give a speech. You can

think of the entire story as set up to create this situation. One character giving advice to another character, while you look directly at your listener while delivering those particular "lines." This is easier to wrap your mind around, and it's an easy way to conceptualize this abstract concept when coming up with stories on the spot. Go from where  you are (looking at the listener and talking to them as you) to delivering the lines of one character to another in a story of some kind that would similar to the advice you'd give them. The quickest way you can do that, the better. One Degree of Separation

In the previous story (of the samurai) the story was number four that was told within three other loops. That's a lot to keep track of. When practicing, consider only going one degree away. This will sound a lot more like advice, but it won't be advice given from you to them, it will be advice given from a friend of yours to another friend of yours. Here's a quick example (sticking with the issue of giving a speech). Oh, you got to give a speech? That sucks. My roommate had to do that. His boss said you just need to practice a few times  in front of a mirror, or in front of your couch or wherever. I had to listen to him give that same presentation like a million times.

 This is still pure advice, but since it's not given directly from you to the listener, she'll be much more likely to accept it, compared to straight advice. This means whenever you hear a problem, you can quickly find an example of somebody you know, that had the same problem, and had some other person tell them how to solve

that problem.  The basic structure is as follows: You have to do X? That sucks. My friend had to do the same thing but [another person] said you just have to do Y and it will be easy.

X is whatever their issue is, and Y is whatever advice you'd give them. However possible, put it in command form (plan verb + object: eat dinner, sit down, practice more, etc.) and use a positive gesture (preset) if possible.  The more nested the stories become, the easier it will be to look them directly in the eyes, give them the advice so they don't feel like you are giving them advice. But the core concept is the same. Find any two people, either made up or in your own history. One person has the same problem as the person you are speaking to. And the person giving the advice (within your story) is a recognized authority. Understanding Authority

We humans tend to turn off our logical brains whenever an authority figure shows up. The famous Milgram experiment horribly demonstrated this, where people gave somebody a deadly shock (or they thought they were giving them a shock) simply because an authority figure said so. This is also why advice rarely works. Most of us aren't recognized as authority figures, at least when we're hanging out at parties telling stories. But when you use an authority figure in your stories (like the professor and the master swordsman living in a cave in the previous story) they will be recognized as authorities by your listener. So when you

find the two characters (advice receiver and advice giver) make the advice giver somebody your listener would likely recognize as an authority. If you don't know much about  your listener, then pick somebody sufficiently old and wise. If it's an animal giving another animal advice, have it come from an owl or a silverback gorilla. If it's coming from a plant, make it a thousand-year-old redwood tree. If it's coming from a fish, make it a blue whale (and an alpha blue whale at that!). Train Your Mind

Even if you aren't ready to tell stories yet, train your mind to look for suitable pairs (advice givers and advice receivers) to be used as the core driving force of your story. Once you've been able to come up with a suitable pair, then start to see how far away you can make them, from  you to them. If they are real people, then quickly choose a few degrees of people between you and them. Start off about you and your roommate, and then your roommate and his coworker, and then his coworker's girlfriend and her boss as the main pair. And each time you move from person to person, tell a quick half story. Then tell the main story, and then wrap up each half story. Journal as Much as Possible

 The quickest way to build this skill on a structural level is to simply write out the stories. Start with any problem  you've encountered from any person, or any idea you'd like to covertly implant into somebody's brain via a story. Then practice writing the main story, (which delivers the suggestion or advice or emotional shift) and then practice building nested stories around it. The more you practice,

the better you'll get.

Practicing Nuts and Bolts Now that you've got a framework under which to practice the structural aspect of storytelling, we can talk about how practice all the small parts that can be used within a story to make it much more effective. Ideally, you'd use all the parts together (as demonstrated in the samurai story) but all of these are useful on their own, or combined however  you can. While this isn't the best metaphor, think of all these individual techniques like you would various boxing or martial arts moves. How you combine them depends on whom you are using them with. Ethical Considerations

It will take some time before you are comfortable using many of these. When you start, it's going to feel very strange, and you'll think that everybody's going to stop and point at you when you use them. This is natural. There's a famous psychological test called the Wason selection task. It involves looking at a set of cards, and being give a set of rules. Then you have to follow the rules and decide which cards to flip over. The actual rules and which cards aren't that important for our purposes here. Most people fail the test. But then the very same test is put in a social setting. In this case, most people pass the test. This suggests that our brains are not really wired for logic, as we'd like to believe. They are wired for reading and understanding social situations. But in this particular test, the social situation is to find the social "cheaters." The test involves being a bouncer at checking who's underage and drinking alcohol. Evolutionary psychologists think this means we humans are hard wired to sniff out cheaters in any social situation. Equally strong is the fear of being called out as a

social cheater. So, when you first start to use commands (or any of the other techniques) you will feel some internal resistance. And yes, it is absolutely possible to use these techniques (all of them or any of them) to the detriment of  your conversation partner. But so long as you only persuade people in a way that will help them, and not hurt them (e.g. sell them defective equipment or imply a longterm relationship to get a one night stand) you'll be fine.  Just realize that using these techniques will feel a bit weird. But once you start to see the positive effects they create, it will be much easier. Embedded Commands

Find any written text, (on paper is easiest) and then go through and underline all the verb-object combinations that could be said as a command. You're looking for verbs in the plain form (eat, sit, run, feel, etc.) followed by one or two objects. (eat dinner, buy pizza, build a birdhouse, etc.).  Try to find at least five for every hundred words or so. Then simply go through and read the text out loud, and practice saying the commands in a "command voice." Once this becomes easy, then write out your own commands. Write out five or ten, and make them in order of easiest to follow to most difficult to follow. For example, a good sequence might be like this: become relaxed sit back open your mind think about this become interested want this buy this

And then write a few paragraphs around the commands.  Then read through the entire sequence, saying the commands slightly separated out and with a slight downward intonation. Keep at it until you start to look for commands in your natural language while speaking. Once that happens, you can start to say them in command form. Spatial Anchoring

 This is pretty easy to practice. Just get into the habit of gesturing on one side of your body whenever you talk about "good things" or things other people want. And gesture on  your other side whenever you talk about "bad things" or things other people don't want. If you keep this up, you'll soon always be doing it. And whenever you need to "drop in" a few commands during a conversation, you'll have your spatial anchors already set up. A great way to practice without creating that feeling of "social cheating" is to look for things other people say they want, and then repeat that same thing back to them, along with a spatial anchor. Other Person: What I'd really like is to take a vacation. You: Yeah, I know what you mean. I would love to take a vacation  (R) also, but if I do, I won't have a job when I get back! Response Potential

 This is a great way to build in the attention that people will have when you're speaking. You can do this on its own,  just to test to make sure it works. It's pretty fun, and it will give anything you're saying an extra "boost" of interest. It's

based on when you use your pauses when speaking. Most people pause where they would put a period. For example: The other day I was walking down the street and I saw a kangaroo. (pause). Then I walked up close and the kangaroo handed me a flier. (pause). Turns out that there's a new repair shop downtown and their motto is "we jump to service." (pause).

Even though this is a pretty crazy story (you saw a kangaroo after all) most people would lose interest after the second pause. The mystery has been revealed and the rest is just details. This is when the other people in the group would be trying to think of something they might say when  your story is finished. However, consider if you said the same story the following way: The other day I was walking down the street and I saw (pause) a kangaroo. (no pause) Then I walked up close and the kangaroo handed me (pause) a flier. (no pause) Turns out that there's a new (pause) repair shop downtown and their motto is (pause) "we jump to service.”.

Our brains don't like unfinished business. The same thing that will keep them hanging on while you drop all those nested loops will keep them hanging when you put pauses in the middle of sentences, specifically between verbs and objects, two things that are always connected. If when you pause you stop and look around, it will have an even better effect. Combining with Stories

Once you've got some practice with one, two and three loop

structures (as discussed in the previous chapter) and  you've got some commands and spatial anchoring set up,  you're ready to get really creative with the middle part. We'll talk about that next.

Collecting Metaphors  The more wild and creative you can get with the middle stories, the more of an impact you'll have, the more interesting of a storyteller you'll be, and the more effective  your communication will be in general. Remember, it's not you telling them that crazy story, it's some weird professor  you had, or the old eccentric founder of your company that came in to give a speech, or this eighty-year-old hermit  your roommate met while backpacking. Delivery Vehicles

You're going to need at least two authority figures per set of nested loops. The authority figure who tells the actual story, and then the authority figure within the story. If your story hinges on a metaphor told to you by a homeless guy who was drinking whiskey out of a brown bag next to you at the bus stop, your story won't have much of an impact. But if your metaphorical story is told by an old professor, etc., it will have a lot more impact. So, the first course of action is to start to build up a list, mental or written of the authority figures that tell the actual story which is going to make the heart of your nested loop. These should be normal people. Professors, bosses, doctors, any kind of authority figure will work. Two Characters

 The two characters that make the heart of the story, (The  young samurai and the old master swordsman in the example) should match your listener. The advice receiver should either be a close match for the person you're actually talking to, or a standard archetype. A young hero

 just leaving home for the first time, a young animal, young sapling, a baby earthquake fault line, etc. The advice giver should be either a recognized authority to your listener, or a standard "sage archetype" of Hero's Journey stories. Obi Won Kenobi, the Good Witch, Professor Dumbledore, those types of folks. The Story Itself

 This you can (and should) construct both ways. One way, by starting with the problem, then the advice, and then coming up with a couple of characters (master and apprentice) to serve as the main characters. The other way is to find existing stories, and then use them either as they are, or just change the names and structures. You'll soon find that most Hero's Journey type stories are very similar. Harry Potter, from a purely structural level is very similar to Star Wars, (A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back). Mythology, Aesop's fables, even modern children's books can be used. But the most fun is in coming up with your own stories. As we talked about before, humans are both natural storytellers and natural story-listeners. Once you get started, you'll find it's fairly simply. And since it will be nested within more "normal" stories or anecdotes, you can get as crazy as you want. Mythology

Use less than mainstream mythological stories and characters can really give those inner metaphors a powerful punch. Since we know that most myths (as discovered by Joseph Campbell) follow the same structure,  you can choose any myth from any culture and it will work perfectly. If it's an exotic or ancient culture that few people

are conversationally fluent in, it will have the added effect of being "mystical" or otherwise having more wisdom than a story about a rabbit and a turtle or a samurai and a master swordsman, both of which are pretty common. Consider learning some basic myths from other cultures so you can pull them out when you need them. You don't need to know the whole story, only the highlights. If people ask you for more information about that particular myth, you can always say, "I really don't know, I'm just telling you what I heard about this from my ex-roommate," and shrug your shoulders. Good Buys and Bad Guys are Everywhere

Once you train your mind to see the structure of Hero's  Journey stories, you'll see them everywhere. If you want to get really creative, you can take myths and translate them into their modern equivalents. For example, you can take a little-known myth that comes from ancient history and translate it into its modern components. Here's a quick example. Obatala and Urula Once upon a time the King of the Universe was going to retire. So, he wanted to hire a replacement. So, he asked young Urula to cook him the best meal in the world. Urula brought him a tongue. "Why a tongue?" Kind Obatala asked. "Because a tongue can say wise things, uplifting things, wonderful things that can move people to great feats of love." "Very well," said King Obatala. "Now bring me the worst thing. Urula nodded and left, and again came back with a tongue.

"Why a tongue?" King Obatala asked. "A tongue can say horrible things. Mean things. Things that destroy families, and societies." King Obatala nodded. "You are very wise, you understand the secrets of life. You are now king."

Now, suppose you like that, but you aren't too keen on describing it as the "King of the Universe" talking to his future replacement. You could simply make the conversation between a master chef and a young chef in some ancient city in China or something. Or you can have a modern chef telling the story to a younger chef, in a restaurant you frequent, about how the form of cooking was invented. Delivery Vehicles are Only Vehicles

Don't worry too much about whether or not you've chosen the perfect metaphor, or the ideal authority figure. The truth is that once you get a few loops in, nobody will remember much anyway. The important part is the advice itself, given from the master to the apprentice. In the story above, you can have the King of the Universe say pretty much anything to the apprentice. "Now that you the new king, these are the rules...."

And then say to the real listener the advice. By the time  you get back to where you started, the advice will be in their brain, but how it got there will be a mystery.

Secret Weapon  There is one method, one practice technique that will have a dramatic effect on every aspect of your storytelling. It will make it easier to keep track of all the stories in your mind. It will help you become much more congruent when you're telling stories as well as when you're transitioning from one story to another. It will also give you a much richer vocabulary and make you much more charismatic when speaking. What is this seemingly magical technique? Image Streaming

 This technique was developed by Dr. Win Wenger. It is a very simple concept, in fact so simple people discount it and forget to do it. But it will have a profound effect on every aspect of your life. It will increase your language skills, it will help you to become more creative, and it will help you generate much more vivid descriptions of the stories you are telling. How to Do It

 The process is very simple. Close your eyes and describe out loud what you see. At first it may be a little weird, and it will be surprisingly difficult to speak coherently for more than a minute. But it's crucial to focus on any images you see in mind, and describe them as quickly and specifically as you can. It's helpful to keep a recording device, not so  you can listen back to your descriptions, but to keep you focused on describing details of what you see.  The reason it's called Image "Streaming" is because the images should be flowing by rather quickly. It's common to

try to "hang on" to a particular image, and force it to remain a certain way. But to get the best results, simply describe the images as they are literally streaming by, as quickly and as specifically as you can. Imagine that there is somebody sitting next to you who is attempting to create a picture based on your descriptions. For example, it's better to say: "I see a red object, down to the left, it has a reflective surface, several corners, it's kind of a dark red color, now it's morphed into a barrel that is sitting a dark gray cement floor of a warehouse. Around it are these wire metal shelves, and on the shelves are a bunch of brown cardboard boxes…"

 Than to say: "Wow, there's like this thing, down over there, wait, it's changing, now it's something else, wait, I'm in this big place, there's a bunch of stuff all around me..."

When you first start this out, you'll really need to push  yourself to keep talking quickly, and to keep talking specifically. You'll naturally want to relax into the second description ("Wow, look at all the stuff!") from the first description. So, when you start, only shoot for a minute at most. When you've done it for one minute per day for a couple of weeks, then slowly increase it to two minutes. Eventually when you get up to five or ten minutes, just keep it at that level for the rest of your life. Yes, you read that correctly. Image streaming is something that you should be doing every single day, for the rest of your life. It will have many more benefits that can be described here.  The tendency is to jump on this, as it seems simple and

easy, but it's not as simple as it seems. People tend to make the same mistake they do when starting a new exercise program, meaning they attempt to do way too much too soon, and then burn out. But really, really restrain yourself. Start slowly, and build slowly. Benefits of Image Streaming Intelligence

Some studies have suggested that for every one hour of Image Streaming, your IQ will increase by one point. Meaning if you did ten minutes a day, seven days a week, that would be over an hour a week. This would theoretically boost your IQ by one point a week. While it may not be linear, meaning doing it for fifty weeks may not result in fifty points, you will feel a difference after a few months. Your memory will increase, you'll be able to think more clearly, and you'll be able to recall more and more memories from your childhood (which will also give you a lot more storytelling material). Because you will be practicing describing imaginary things in great detail, you'll be practicing exactly what storytelling is: Describing imaginary things in great detail. Even if you completely disregarded any increases in intelligence, doing Imagine Streaming just for storytelling practice will turn  you into a phenomenal storyteller. Sadly, many people can barely string a few complete sentences together when sitting around and talking. So, when you practice Image Streaming on a daily basis, you'll be able to develop the ability to describe complex ideas and stories in a way that will be very compelling to your listeners.

 The more you push yourself, the more you'll build your natural vocabulary. You have thousands of rich vocabulary words in your mind that you rarely use. Think of all of the vocabulary words (that are already in your brain) as sitting in a large barrel. The words you use most commonly are at the very top, and the ones deeper down take more effort to get to. When you start Image Streaming, you'll strengthen  your ability to dig deep into your barrel of words and start using much more colorful and descriptive adjectives and adverbs that will make your stories very compelling. Don't Overcomplicate Image Streaming

You can think of Image Streaming as strengthening the boundary between your conscious mind and your vast unconscious. Your unconscious communicates to your conscious via pictures, so by describing those pictures  you're making the interface richer and more valuable. However, don't get carried away (at least not yet) with all the things you can do with Image Streaming. For the sake of storytelling, see it as a simple exercise to increase your ability to describe imaginary ideas, objects and characters with as much congruence as if you were describing something that was right in front of you. Make a commitment to do Image Streaming, starting today, for at least a minute a day for the next few weeks, but no more than five minutes. See it as a powerful exercise that you can slowly grow into over the course of your life. Start slow, and increase your time as slowly as you can.

Practice Tips If you think of where you might be starting from to where  you'd like to be, it might seem like a huge chasm that may take forever to cross. But as you'll soon find out, practicing telling stories, whether they be full blown loops with all the embedded techniques or just short little anecdotes that you make up on the fly, can be a fun adventure in and of itself. In this chapter, we'll talk about some of the ways you can practice, and some interesting techniques you can use while practicing. No Rules

Remember, the purpose of your communication is the response that you get from your listener. If you wanted to make people laugh, it wouldn't really matter if you told a deeply looped story filled with humorous anecdotes, or you ran around screaming while banging on pots and pans. If  you enjoy making people laugh, there are many ways to do it. Similarly, when intending to elicit certain emotions in certain people in certain orders, there are many ways to do it was well. The best method to use is whatever method works that you're comfortable with. Similarly, so long as  you practice regularly, either writing out story ideas, or telling stories in your car on your way to work, you'll do fine. Toastmasters

 This is a great way to practice telling any kind of stories, or to simply build your confidence speaking in front of others.  Toastmasters is free, and there's no grading system (although they do give feedback after your speeches) so it's

a great place to go crazy. You can tell simple stories, nested loops, practice your anchoring and embedded commands, or just do whatever comes to mind while your speaking. Practicing Nested Loops

 Toastmasters is a great way to get some experience telling nested loops, so you can practice transitioning from one loop to the next. You can take your time to write out a fullfledged set of stories (similar to the samurai story) and then put each set of "scenes" on an index card. Many people use index cards or even read their full speech verbatim, so this is a great way to rehearse. If you're just starting you don't have to worry about using the right emotions or even using a metaphorical story in the middle. Just take three or four anecdotal stories from your own history, break them up into the appropriate loop structure, and put the main ideas down on index cards. Then once you're comfortable going through a loop, you can start adding in different techniques, like embedded commands, spatial anchoring, and increasing the strength of your gestures and tonality. YouTube

One of the best ways to improve any skill is to watch  yourself performing that skill on video. Athletes have known for decades that watching old tapes of games and matches is an excellent way of getting an objective view of what they're doing correctly, and what they can improve. Similarly, making a short video of yourself telling nested loops, or using any combination of any of these techniques will be invaluable. Suggestions for Continuous Improvement

Remember that you are making these videos to quickly improve, not to become famous or even get a lot of video traffic. The first step would be to think of a simple Hero's  Journey story that you can tell regarding your own experience. Put in a couple scenes from the Orphan stage, a couple from the Wanderer, Warrior and Final Battle. Practice telling the story from start to finish, without stopping. Once you've gotten a few stories out, you can start to add in embedded commands. Once you've become comfortable with those, add in some spatial anchoring.  Then in some carefully placed pauses. Once you can tell a short Hero's Journey story all the way through, with all the embedded techniques, switch to telling two stories. The first one up to a transition point, the second one all the way through, and then complete the first one. When that becomes easy, shoot for three stories. As with any skill, proficiency will take time, so give yourself plenty. Don't expect to start off being a master storyteller if you've never spoken in public much before. The first few times you make and upload a video of yourself to YouTube may feel extremely weird and silly, but keep at it. Make sure to watch your video at least once, after you upload it. It may be tempting to just record it and watch it, but uploading it will give you a sense of exposure, similar to giving an actual speech (even if few people ever see it). Subconscious Improvement

 The benefit of uploading videos and watching them is that  you'll start to subconsciously pick up on things that you need to improve, and then naturally improve them without really needing to think too much. The process of increasing  your storytelling skills will be much more organic. It will

happen much more naturally. When you start to see improvement, this will motivate you to keep progressing. One way to virtually guarantee rapid increase in skills is to make a commitment to upload at least one video a day to YouTube. It will only take a few minutes to record the video, and another couple minutes to upload and watch it.  The whole process, including coming up with an outline of a story, shouldn't take more than thirty minutes a day. Random Loops

One fun way to practice is to focus on breaking off stories halfway through, but not really worrying about ever "closing" the loops. This is a lot easier, since you don't have to keep track. It will free up more "mind space" to focus on things like using embedded commands and spatial anchoring. All you do is just start telling a story, and when the story you are telling reminds you of another story, just switch into that one. Focus only on the commands (appropriate for the outcome you are intending) and the spatial anchors and just keep going. If you remember to come back to unfinished stories, fine, but if not, don't worry about it. Many Ways to Practice

So long as you are doing something on a daily basis, you'll continue to improve. Always remember what you are building. Being able to tell rich and emotionally moving stories is a very powerful skill to have that will make nearly all areas of your life much more rewarding. Give yourself time and patience to master this powerful skill.

Review of Structures Humans Love Stories

All humans crave stories. We've been telling stories to each other since humans started speaking. The stories we've told to each other for thousands of years have similar structures. This is the structure that we respond to most, because it is the same structure we ourselves go through in our lives. Hero's Journey

Many stories, books, mythology, and Hollywood blockbusters follow the Hero's Journey. The closer you can map any story you tell to this ancient structure, the more  your stories will resonate with their listener. Hero's  Journeys adhere to the following structure: Orphan

 This is when the hero is either an orphan for real, or metaphorically. This is when the hero feels alone, left behind and sometimes bored. He or she knows there is much more to their world, but they aren't quite ready to take the initiative on their own. If they are called to the  journey, they often refuse the call the first or even second time. Often, they need to be forced along their journey through some cataclysmic event. Wanderer

 This is when they are on the journey, but they aren't sure where they are going or what they are doing. All they really

know for sure is that they “aren't in Kansas anymore." They make friends, learn skills, and learn to trust themselves. Often, they are guided by a mentor. Warrior

 This is when they figure out the purpose of their journey.  This is when they figure who they bad guy is they need to fight, or the problem they need to solve, or the issue that can only be resolved by facing it directly. They accept their fate. Final Battle

 This is when they realize that even if they lose, even if they die, they must battle the demon, or attempt to kill the monster. This is when they risk everything to do the right thing. To finally realize their full potential in defeating evil. Hero's Journey Emotions

Each segment of the journey is accompanied by certain emotions. Whenever we humans feel those emotions in that specific sequence, they move us on a deep and ancient level. If you can move your listeners through these emotions, either through a single story or many disjointed stories, you will be giving them a profound experience. Orphan Emotions

Loneliness, loss, feelings of being left behind, boredom, uncertainty, of knowing there is more out there but not quite confident enough to go out on your own.

Wanderer Emotions

On the path, excitement of having left home but uncertainty of where you are going. The comfort of meeting similar friends and teammates on the journey. A feeling of being off-balance as you make your way forward. Awkward growth, and perhaps a sadness for leaving the simplicity and familiar comfort of the orphan's life behind. Warrior Emotions

Much more self-confidence, an acceptance of what is coming. A realization of right and wrong, and a dedication to doing the right thing regardless of the consequences. Final Battle

Accepting one's fate. Deciding to do the right thing, even if it destroys you. Of accepting an idea or concept of things bigger that yourself. Of realizing that even if you die, you must fight and do your best to vanquish evil at all costs. Nested Loops

 Telling stories in a nested loop structure will profoundly affect the listener. They will effectively help them to suspend their disbelief, and turn off their conscious critic which is wary of any advice from strangers. The basic structure of nested loops is to start a story, and then right when you get about halfway, start another one. Continue until you get to the main metaphor, the fable, the myth, the main delivery vehicle of the advice or the suggested emotions. This central story is told completely from start to finish. Once the main metaphor is complete, go back and

finish up all the others. Ideally the sequence of nested stories should follow the Hero's Journey emotions. The central metaphor should also follow the Hero's Journey emotions. The final result will be two layers of the Hero's  Journey Emotions, and outer one, comprised of the broken stories or anecdotes, and the inner one, comprised of the main metaphor. Main Metaphor Techniques

Ideally the main metaphor should come from an authority figure within one of your anecdotes. And then within the main metaphor itself, the delivery of wisdom should be as high of an authority as you can create. The receiver of the wisdom (within the metaphor) should be as relatable to the real-world listener as you can create. Blurred Realities

As much as possible, make statements that are true in as many layers of the story as you can. For example, when the authority-wisdom-giver of the metaphor gives the advice to the wisdom receiver, look your listener in the eye. It should be slightly confusing who is saying what to whom. This will significantly decrease any conscious resistance in the listener to your advice or suggestions. Embedded Commands

 These are very powerful if used correctly. They are best used in a chain of commands, starting with commands that are very easy to follow. Then slowly increase them in strength until you are giving your listener direct statements of things you'd like them to do. For example:

Relax completely Open up Enjoy this Listen carefully Pay attention Understand everything Follow this Become confident Enjoy creating stories Enjoy telling stories Spatial Anchoring

Use one side to gesture for "good" things or things you know your audience will like. Use the opposite side to gesture for "bad" things or things you know your listeners won't like so much. Get in the habit of being consistent, and always using one side for "good" and one side for "bad."  That way, when you need to fire off a few embedded commands, use your "good" side to them. Self-Point

Whenever you say something that will be generally accepted as good, especially if it's a command (e.g. make more money, take a vacation, enjoy happiness, etc.) slightly gesture toward yourself. This a very powerful technique to use whether or not you are telling stories. Response Potential

Use pauses where they aren't expected, such as between a verb and an object. For example:

Yesterday I went to the (pause) store and bought a (pause) sandwich. (no pause) But when I got outside and unwrapped it, (no pause) inside was a (pause) banana!

Practice Suggestions Hero's Journey Structure

 The more you can train your mind to see this structure everywhere, the more you'll be able to spin powerful tales on the spot. Remember that the content of any story isn't nearly as relevant as the emotions it elicits. And that by telling stories in Nested Loop structures, any simple story can turn in a powerful emotional ride for your listener. The more complete Hero's Journey stories of at least one scene per section (Orphan, Wanderer, Warrior, Final Battle) the better off you'll be. Keep a journal and write down at least one Hero's Journey story you see on a daily basis. Any four-step process (Orphan, Wanderer, Warrior, Final Battle) will do. Don't be shy about leveraging anthropomorphism (ascribing human traits to non-human things) to help you. Examples

Lost dog finds its way home. Little kid rides the train for the first time. Sales clerk on the first day of her job. Hero's Journey Emotions

After you write out your daily Hero's Journey story, tell it out loud. Force yourself to feel the emotions of each section. Tell it as if the universe would explode into chaos if the hero didn't complete his quest (successful day on the  job, making it to school on time, puppy finding its way home, etc.). Ideally, make a video of each retelling and

upload to YouTube or any other video sharing site, and watch yourself tell the story at least once. Nested Loops

Once you've got at least two stories written out, practice saying them in Nested Loop structure. First half of the first one, and then the second one complete, then finish the second half of the first. Do this until your transitions between stories feel normal and natural. Each time you tell or retell a set of stories, record and upload the video to any video sharing site. As you get more comfortable, keep expanding the number of loops. 1A 1B 1C 2A 2B 2C 2D 2E 1D 1E 1A 1B 1C 2A 2B 2C 3A 3B 3C 3D 3E 2D 2E 1D 1E 1A 1B 1C 2A 2B 2C 3A 3B 3C 4A 4B 4C 4D 4E 3D 3E 2D 2E 1D 1E etc. Metaphor Practice

Spend time each day searching for metaphorical stories, mythology, or slightly rewritten science fiction and fantasy movie plots to use as the center metaphor. Keep them categorized in a notebook according to topic or intention. For example, you might have intentions for increasing curiosity, for increasing buying desire, for increasing attraction, etc. For example, under metaphorical stories for increasing attraction, you might have love-story fairy tales. For stories that are intended to increase buying

temperature, look for any story where the hero goes to the marketplace and makes a successful exchange of some kind. Spatial Anchoring Practice

Make a solid decision which side of you is going to be good and which side is going to be bad, and stick with it. Whenever you say (or repeat or rephrase what another has said) that is "bad," use your "bad" side. Whenever you say, (or repeat or rephrase what another has said) that is "good" use your "good" side. Embedded Command Practice

As mentioned before, find any written text, and go through and highlight all the short command phrases. Then read the text out loud, saying the commands in command form. As you do, gesture with your "good" gesture. Once this becomes familiar, begin using commands in your everyday speech. Just recognize which statements you naturally say are in the command form, and say them as commands and use your "good" gesture. Self-Pointing Practice

Listen patiently when others are talking, and look for anything they are saying that can be repeated back using an embedded command. And when you say the embedded command, gesture toward yourself briefly. Or gesture to  yourself whenever you say anything (using a command or not) that will be understood as a good thing. Response Potential

Whenever you find yourself in a conversation, use the response potential technique. Pause between verbs and nouns. When you pause, quickly make eye contact with everybody in the conversation. Notice how much they are anticipating the finishing of the "verb-object" combination. Public Speaking

However you can, create time for you to practice public speaking at least once a week, more if possible. Take a public speaking class at a local junior college. Join a local  Toastmasters. Join an acting class anywhere you can. The more you can build your confidence to speak experimentally in front of others, the easier it will be to become a natural storyteller capable of moving people on a deep level. Branching Off

Whenever you get a chance, listen to people speak and find a useful anecdote you can tell from your own experience.  Then practice branching off from one anecdote to the next one that pops into your mind. Once you're confident, begin using any of the other techniques (self-point, spatial anchoring, embedded commands, building response potential) as you jump from story to story. Write Out Full Stories

Whenever you find yourself with an opportunity take that to write out a full-fledged story, filled with Nested Loops, the Hero's Journey emotional sequence, and all of the techniques listed above. For example, if you are at party

and you hear somebody mention they've just started a new  job and are very worried, that's a perfect opportunity. Use that as your starting point, and write a full-fledged story.  Then memorize that story and record yourself telling it, and upload it to any video sharing site. Create a fake one just for the purpose of uploading and watching your videos. Try to upload a complete story at least once a week, more if possible. At first, you may need to pause or edit significantly, but your goal should be to write out a full story, and then repeat it from memory while looking into  your recording device. Don't try to repeat every word, you only need to cover the scenes, the emotions and the commands. Watch Stand Up Comedians

 There are plenty videos available in many places (YouTube, Netflix, etc.) of standup comics. They use nested loops in their routines quite often. Watch them and reverse engineer their loops. Write them out (the content of each loop, not their word for word routine) and start to mimic their style. Practice Makes Better

At first this will seem cumbersome, confusing, even silly. But keep at it. The more you practice, the better you'll get. It will take time, but the skill to tell Nested Loop Hero's  Journey Stories will move people in wonderful ways. You'll make more money, build more attraction and become much more charismatic and magnetic.

Appendix – Nested Loop Examples

Example - First Day on The Job Use the following story word for word, or change it as you like. Just be sure it maintains the Hero's Journey Emotions. Situation - You are at a social event, and you meet somebody interesting that has mentioned they are starting a new job soon, but are very worried because they aren't sure if their skills (or experience, etc.) are sufficient. Story Construction Story One

1A First day at a previous job, unsure what to do (orphan) 1B Showed up, huge parking lot, didn’t know where to go (orphan) 1C Didn't know the security code to the door, felt like an idiot (orphan) 1D Owner shows up, walked you in (final battle -acceptance) 1E

You had a lot in common with the boss and he helped you succeed (final battle - victory) Story Two

2A Some new guy at your current job (orphan) 2B New guy spilled coffee on his coworkers (wanderer) 2C  They were all on a brand-new product development team (wanderer) 2D  The team later created a new product (Warrior) 2E  The product is now the most successful product (Warrior) Story Three - Delivery Vehicle of Inner Metaphor

3A A new upper manager at job (wanderer) 3B

Upper manager was unknown - came at a key juncture in the company (wanderer) 3C Did things a bit differently, everybody was worried at first, thought they’d get fired (wanderer) 3D Reduced costs by not firing anybody, turned out to be a good guy (wanderer) 3E Once everybody knew his style company was much better off, more efficient, better products (wanderer) Story Four - Metaphor, Fairy Tale, Romance, Etc.

4A Abe Lincoln was born poor - mother died when he was  young. Lived with a dirt floor (orphan) 4B He tried to start a business many times and failed (orphan) 4C He was determined, but he kept losing elections (wanderer)

4D Finally, he set his sights on the highest office in the land, to become president (wanderer) 4E He kept the country together at the darkest hour, and saved the Republic. (victorious warrior hero) Rearrange in the following order: 1A - 1B - 1C - 2A - 2B - 2C - 3A- 3B - 3C - 4A - 4B - 4C 4D - 4E - 3D - 3E - 2D - 2E - 1D - 1E 1A - First day at work (orphan) 1B - Huge parking lot (orphan) 1C - Didn't know security code (orphan) 2A - New guy at current job (orphan) 2B - Spilled coffee on coworkers (wanderer) 2C - Same team (wanderer) 3A - A new upper manager at job (wanderer) 3B - Manager was unknown (wanderer) 3C - Did things differently (wanderer) 4A - Abe Lincoln born poor (orphan) 4B - Tried to start a business, failed (orphan) 4C - Tried for office, kept losing (wanderer) 4D - Set his sights on President (wanderer) 4E - Saved the country (victorious warrior hero) 3D - Reduced costs, nobody fired (wanderer) 3E - Company much better off (wanderer) 2D - Team created new product (warrior) 2E - Product now most successful (warrior) 1D - Owner helps out (final battle)

1E - Lot in common with boss (victory) P - Pause R - Gesture on good side L - Gesture on bad side Bold Underline - Embedded Commands SP - Self Point BR - Blurred Reality (true on more than one level) Oh man, I hate new jobs! I remember my very first job out of college, I was sure I was going to get fired (L) on the first day. I pulled into this (P) massive parking lot, way bigger than the tiny visitor’s lot I parked in when I'd interviewed. I got to the employee entrance and I froze, I didn't know (P) what the code was! (L) We had this one guy at my other job, he was super nervous (L) when he came in. They had this meeting with his team and he spilled (P) coffee on this one lady. They'd all just been hired to create a new product, (R) otherwise our company was going to (P) go out of business. (L) I had this new upper manager one time, he came in out of nowhere. We all thought he was one of those cleaner guys, the guy who figures out who's going to (P) get fired. (L) He shut himself in his office for like a month, nobody ever saw the guy, we were all super nervous! One time he called this meeting, we thought we were all going to get fired, and he started telling a story about (P) Abe Lincoln. (R) How he was born super poor, (L) lived with a dirt floor, (L) had to read books by candle light, and I didn't know this, but he was  pretty much a loser (L) before became president. I mean his mom died (L) when he was young, he had to work hard  (R) to support his family, he tried to become a politician but he kept losing. But this tells us that Lincoln just told himself, keep at it . (R) Even if you don't know what you're doing, it's easy to learn how . (R) Even though he lost elections, he

decided to work with other people . (R) To make friends . (SP) To understand other people's points of view . To see how people think . And he said enough with the small stuff, it's time to think big . (SP) That's when Lincoln decided to have a huge goal , (SP or R) to become president. And he did so during the darkest times of our country. He was able to fix things . To bring people together. (SP) To overcome adversity , and of course, as Paul Harvey would say, "Now you know the rest of the story." But after this guy gave us that crazy speech about Lincoln he said he was determined to save money , (R) to make sure the company was profitable without having to fire anybody. He said if we decided to work together, we could do anything. And we ended up being really profitable (R) and he didn't fire anybody. The guy who spilled coffee ended up working really well, and that team ended up coming with about six new products, one of which is our biggest money maker. And he's way above me in salary level. After I stood at the door not knowing the code like an idiot the owner walks up behind me. I explained my situation and he walked me to where I was supposed to meet all my other coworkers. (R) Turns out we've both got a lot in common, (SP) and he would always  pop down to check on me, make sure I was doing Ok. It's  funny how everything tends to work out, isn't it?

Example - Building Romantic Desire Use the following story word for word, or change it as you like. Just be sure it maintains the Hero's Journey Emotions. Situation - You are at a social event and you see somebody  you'd be interested in dating. You can use this story with as many people as you like. As you deliver the commands, be sure to look briefly at your target. Note: Story Scene 1A should be as close to the topic of conversation as possible. Also note this story assumes a male teller and a female listener, so switch genders if needed. Story One

1A You moved to a new city, didn’t know anybody (orphan) 1B Didn't have any friends, didn’t know what to do for fun (orphan) 1C Went to a bar alone, something you never do, nervous (orphan) 1D

Met a really cute girl (final battle -acceptance) 1E Date for a long time, ended as friends, great experience (final battle - victory) Story Two

2A A female friend of yours moved to a new city (orphan) 2B She took a work transfer and they set her up with everything (wanderer) 2C She had a few coworkers help her get settled (wanderer) 2D She ended up joining a yoga club to meet people (warrior) 2E Married some guy from her yoga club, ending up friends (warrior) Story Three - Delivery Vehicle of Inner Metaphor

3A

My old neighbor that was having relationship problems (wanderer) 3B She was a professor of humanities; her husband taught economics (wanderer) 3C  They were trying counseling because they'd been together for twenty years (wanderer) 3D  They had to recalibrate their relationship once the kids moved out (wanderer) 3E  Their relationship was really just changing from one phase to the next (wanderer) Story Four - Metaphor, Fairy Tale, Romance, Etc.

4A Princess longed for a prince, but couldn’t find any (orphan) 4B She was lonely and was terrified of getting old alone (orphan)

4C She met a wizard who told her to look where she least expected (wanderer) 4D She met the famous talking frog who was secretly a prince (wanderer) 4E  Turns out the frog had been the prince the town was looking for (victorious warrior hero)  Tell the above in the following order: 1A - 1B - 1C - 2A - 2B - 2C - 3A- 3B - 3C - 4A - 4B - 4C 4D - 4E - 3D - 3E - 2D - 2E - 1D - 1E 1A - Moved to a new city (orphan) 1B - No friends (orphan) 1C - Went out alone (orphan) 2A - Female, new city (orphan) 2B - Company set her up (wanderer) 2C - Coworkers helped her (wanderer) 3A - Old neighbor with relationship problems (wanderer) 3B - Both professors (wanderer) 3C - Trying counseling (wanderer) 4A - Princess wanted a prince (orphan) 4B - Afraid of getting old alone (orphan) 4C - She met a Wizard (wanderer) 4D - She met the talking frog (wanderer)

4E - Frog was a prince (victorious warrior hero) 3D - Recalibrate their relationship (wanderer) 3E - Only changed phases (wanderer) 2D - She joined a yoga club (warrior) 2E - Married yoga guy (warrior) 1D - Met a cute girl (final battle) 1E - Dated a long time, still friends (final victory) P - Pause R - Gesture on good side L - Gesture on bad side Bold Underline - Embedded Commands SP - Self Point BR - Blurred Reality (true on more than one level) (Jumping from the topic) Oh, man, that really sucks. (L) That sounds like when I had to move to a new city. I had to go because of work, but it wasn't like a transfer. I had to pay  for (P) everything. (L) It was either that or get fired, right? So, I'm in this city, no friends, (L) I barely talked to anybody at work. One night (P) I went to this bar, it looked like a total (P) dive, all alone. (L) My friend was transferred and she got totally taken care of by her company. (R) They paid for (P) her moving, her first month’s rent, everything. They even had (P) a group of guys meet her (R) and help her find where everything was. My neighbors, that I used to think of like (P) my second parents, almost got divorced once. (L) They'd been married for like twenty years or something, (R) they both still worked together where they met, at this university. She taught, or teaches, humanities, he economics. Finally, they decided to (P) go a counselor, since, you know, they'd  put in (P) so much time already together. (R) First thing the counselor did when she saw them was tell them (P) about

the frog and the princess, or her version. Once there was this young (P) princess, and she was starting to get where she needed to find a prince  (SP)  (SP) to settle down with, but there wasn't anybody. (L) It was like all the quality men had (P) vanished or something. (BR) She was certain she wouldn't  find anybody, (BR) so she consulted this really old wizard who lived in a (P) tree in the forest. The wizard told her that quality men are everywhere. (R) You just need to look for what you want , (SP) and you'll find it . (R) The princess asked her, what do you mean? The wizard just said to keep looking , (R) your prince might be right in front of you, (SP)  just open your eyes  (R)  (R) to what's around you. So, the  princess left, really confused. I mean, old wizard in a tree, right? So, she comes across this frog. The frog says, " Kiss Kiss me."(SP) The princess stops, and looks around, and the frog repeats it. He says, " Kiss Kiss me."(SP) So the princess figures (P) what the hell right? I mean nobody's looking so she decides to kiss the frog , (R) and boom, this (SP) turns into a prince. And it's the prince that the th e whole kingdom had been waiting  for. The prince looked at her and said, "We need to be an d lived happily ever together," (SP) so they got married and after. Apparently, the counselor was telling my neighbors that since their relationship had changed so much, they didn't recognize it. They just needed to recalibrate it, it , now that the kids had moved out. My friend decided to join a yoga club, something she's never done before, and decided to get to know this guy  (SP)  (SP) in there and they decided to start dating . And they got married, which was something that wouldn't have happened if she hadn't decided to try something new . (R) And after I went into that dive bar, I met a group of girls who were pretty friendly. They said, "Come over here," and so I joined them. I ended up dating one of them for almost a year. We've since broken up, but we're still great friends. I never would have met her if I didn't

decide to try something new . (R) You never know, right?

Example - Increasing Buying Temperature Use the following story word for word, or change it as you like. Just be sure it maintains the Hero's Journey Emotions. Situation - You are a salesperson and you are speaking to a potential customer or client may not be convinced enough of the value of the product are service, compared to the selling price. Story One

1A You went to a store but weren't sure what you wanted to buy, wandered around a bit (orphan) 1B You found a product you wanted but it was too expensive, so you didn’t know what to do (orphan) 1C An attractive salesperson approached and you became b ecame nervous, worried they would persuade you against your will (orphan) 1D You enjoyed haggling with the salesperson, and finally decided the product was worth more than you initially thought (final battle -acceptance)

1E You finally decided to get the item, and ended up enjoying it quite a bit (final battle - victory) Story Two

2A When you were in high school you had a fun retail job (orphan) 2B  The best times were weekend nights, when people people on dates would come in (wanderer) 2C You could tell people enjoyed buying things, excited while having fun on the weekend (wanderer) 2D You could tell guys who were the happiest were the ones who knew what they wanted (warrior) 2E One guy you remember in particular was with his girlfriend who didn't talk, the guy did all the talking (warrior) Story Three

3A Weird part time job you had in college (wanderer) 3B Had to call people and ask for donations for a charity (wanderer) 3C Weird boss that would have these pre-work meetings (wanderer) 3D After you understood the cause, you got a lot more money from a lot more people (wanderer) 3E You could tell everybody was happy when you saw what the money was being used for (wanderer) Story Four - Metaphor, Fairy Tale, Romance, Etc.

4A A group of ancient explorers visiting the coast of Africa (orphan) 4B

 They knew there were valuable things for possible trade, but were scared to venture too far inland (orphan) 4C  They finally met some Africans that were willing to hammer out some deals (wanderer) 4D  They finally worked out a strange but safe and mutually agreeable system of trade (wanderer) 4E Both parties thought they were taking advantage of the other, getting more than they were giving (victorious warrior hero)  Tell the above in the following order: 1A - 1B - 1C - 2A - 2B - 2C - 3A- 3B - 3C - 4A - 4B - 4C 4D - 4E - 3D - 3E - 2D - 2E - 1D - 1E 1A - Shopping at the store (orphan) 1B - Expensive product (orphan) 1C - Attractive salesperson approaches (orphan) 2A - Fun retail job in high school (orphan) 2B - Weekend nights were best (wanderer) 2C - People enjoyed buying things (wanderer) 3A - Weird part time job in college (wanderer) 3B - Had to ask for donations (wanderer) 3C - Weird boss (wanderer) 4A - Explorers visiting the coast of Africa (orphan)

4B - Curious but scared (orphan) 4C - Reached out and met Africans (wanderer) 4D - Worked out an agreement (wanderer) 4E - Both benefited (Victorious Warrior Hero) 3D - Understood the cause (wanderer) 3E - Explained the cause – people felt better (wanderer) 2D - People were happy when they decided (warrior) 2E - Guy with his girlfriend (warrior) 1D - You enjoyed haggling (final battle -acceptance) 1E - Decided to buy (final battle - victory) P - Pause R - Gesture on good side L - Gesture on bad side Bold Underline - Embedded Commands SP - Self Point BR - Blurred Reality (true on more than one level) I can tell you want to think about this. (L) I remember once a long time ago I just moved to a new city and I needed to buy  (P) some stuff (R) for my kitchen, so I went to a local electronics shop. This was before people started to (P) buy things  (R) online. After wandering around I found this really awesome (P) toaster over, I hadn't really thought about a toaster oven but when I looked at this (R), I said to myself that it would be cool to get this  (R), but then I looked at the  price tag, and took a step back (L). Then this really confident looking, and gorgeous (R)(P) saleslady comes walking up to me. When I was in high school I had this awesome job at a (P) movie theater. It was where I met my first girlfriend. Friday and Saturday nights were the best (R), because it was really (P) busy and I got to work behind the candy counter, selling popcorn and stuff. It was always fun

watching people on dates and stuff buying stuff (R), looking up at all of the things on the menu, popcorn, candy whatever, looking forward to enjoy some movie while eating some good stuff (SP), this was when people really loved to spend money  (R). I had another job in college, at first it was kind of awkward (L), because it was for a (P) charity, and I  felt kind of weird just calling people and (P) asking for money. I didn't really understand what the charity was about. Our boss was kind of an eccentric, he'd retired and had founded the charity with this own money, and he would have these pre-meetings, before we would hit the phones. Once he told us this story of how some of the first Europeans and Africans interacted, way before (P) anything else happened. These guys in these ships would anchor just off the beach. And they knew there was all kinds of good stuff (SP) beyond (R), but they were all kind of nervous (L). Then they saw these two guys come out and stand on the beach, looking at them. And two of the guys on the ship decided if they could go and talk to them. I mean, both people were obviously worried (L), they each thought they might get killed (L) by the other, but they both also thought there might be a reason to trade stuff  (R), what we have for what you have, kind of thing. And so, two Europeans went to the beach and wanted to make a deal  (R) with the Africans. Once they started talking, or using gestures or whatever, they realized this is safe (R), and they just wanted to make a deal  (R), to trade something  (R). Finally, they hammered out a deal, or a way to make a trade  (R). The Europeans returned to their ship, and the Africans went back to wherever they lived. And the Africans brought out a bunch of stuff and left it on the beach. Then the Europeans would go and see what stuff they wanted, and just take it . Then they would leave what the thought would be a fair trade (SP). If the Africans accepted it, they'd take it . If they didn't, they'd leave it and

the Europeans would have to leave more stuff, to pay for this (R), and eventually they'd both be happy (SP). This went on for a couple decades, before all the Europeans started coming to Africa and pretty much messed everything up. But in the beginning, they each would feel comfortable (R), leaving what they had for what they wanted. And in the end, both parties realized this is worth the price (R), they would leave and tell themselves, "I'm really glad I decided to get this.” (R) After I finally realized what the charity was about, it was easy to ask people to pay the money  (R), because once I figured out how to explain to them in a way that they could really see the value , they were eager to use a credit card  to pay. And once we visited one of the orphanages where the money was being used, I was really able to understand the value  (R) of what he was doing. Which means I could explain it to the people we'd call, they would also realize the value  (R). People that came in on dates were always the happiest. I'll never forget this one guy, came in with his girlfriend, she was just happy (R) to be with him. He didn't hesitate at all. I mean it was only  popcorn, but he looked up, knew what he wanted and didn't need to wait to make a decision  (R). He chose to buy , and she just went along with it. I mean her eyeballs didn't even move, just happy to be with him. By the time that attractive saleslady got to me, I decided to explain exactly what I wanted, and just by talking her, I was able to feel more confident (R) about this purchase. I mean, I did enjoy this (R) toaster over. I didn't even think about it before, but once I had this, I used it a lot, and was really glad I decided to  get this .

Example - Improving Somebody's Memory Use the following story word for word, or change it as you like. Just be sure it maintains the Hero's Journey Emotions. Situation - Any time you are talking to somebody who has expressed an interest in improving their memory, or any worry about their memory being insufficient. (E.g. if you’re a teacher or tutor). Story One

1A Freshman in college (orphan) 1B First test, lots of information (orphan) 1C No way to study, overwhelmed with stress (orphan) 1D Found a study group, helped each other, worked together (final battle -acceptance) 1E Met for an hour review before the test - everybody passed (final battle - victory)

Story Two

2A Part time job (orphan) 2B Had to remember all kinds of things(wanderer) 2C Boss was really cool, had a lot of tricks (wanderer) 2D She made up this goofy rhyme to remember where to put all the products (warrior) 2E Surprisingly easy, made stocking the shelves the best part (warrior) Story Three

3A Upper division anatomy was the worst class in college, worried at first (wanderer) 3B Had to memorize all these names in Latin, really confusing

and frustrating (wanderer) 3C At first it was really difficult - but professor told a weird story that helped (wanderer) 3D Applied the story and it worked (wanderer) 3E Ended up getting a B without much effort (wanderer) Story Four - Metaphor, Fairy Tale, Romance, Etc.

4A A little boy was born without a memory (orphan) 4B He had to go the memory bank to withdraw his memories (orphan) 4C He finally found out where it was (wanderer) 4D He went inside and it looked like a normal bank (wanderer) 4E

Once he made his way into the vault he found tons of memories he could use (victorious warrior hero)  Tell the above in the following order: 1A - 1B - 1C - 2A - 2B - 2C - 3A- 3B - 3C - 4A - 4B - 4C 4D - 4E - 3D - 3E - 2D - 2E - 1D - 1E 1A - Freshman in college (orphan) 1B - First test, lots of information (orphan) 1C - Overwhelmed with stress (orphan) 2A - Part time job (orphan) 2B - Needed to remember a lot (wanderer) 2C - Boss had a lot of tricks (wanderer) 3A - Upper division anatomy (wanderer) 3B - Many names in Latin (wanderer) 3C - Professor told a story (wanderer) 4A - Boy born without a memory (orphan) 4B - He had to go the memory bank (orphan) 4C - Found the bank (wanderer) 4D - Went in the bank (wanderer) 4E - Found his memory (Victorious Warrior Hero) 3D - Applied the story (wanderer) 3E - Got a B (wanderer) 2D - Goofy rhyme (warrior) 2E - Everything easy (warrior) 1D - Found a study group (final battle -acceptance) 1E - Everybody passed (final battle - victory) P - Pause R - Gesture on good side L - Gesture on bad side Bold Underline - Embedded Commands

SP - Self Point BR - Blurred Reality (true on more than one level) Man, when I started college I was freaked (L). I kind of skated through high school, didn't really need to study, but (P) when I got to college, I thought I may be in over my head (L). I never really studied in high school, and I would just (P) remember things easily , but in college? There was a lot more I needed to remember easily . I had this one class where (P) we had to remember a lot of dates and stuff (L). It wasn't history, but it was close. Political science or something. There was no way I thought I could remember things , so I was hoping I would avoid failing. A couple of semesters later I had (P) this part time job, manager was  pretty cool (R), but we had tons of (P) products, these little tiny things that we had to put on the shelves in the precise spot, and we had to remember everything , because if we  put something in the wrong place (L) it would mess everything up. But the boss was pretty cool, she knew how difficult it was to (P) keep everything in mind , so we could remember everything in order . She even had all kinds of tricks that made it (P) super easy (R) to remember things . But the worst (L) was this upper division anatomy class I took. I ended up (P) not needing it, but at first it was really confusing (L). I mean by then I had kind of gotten in the mindset of college, of learning and remembering things on a regular basis, but this class seemed to be stretch the limits  of my memory. We had this weird professor that told us this story about (P) the memory bank. This kid was born without (P) a memory (L). Every day he woke up, couldn't remember anything, didn't know who he was, where he was  from, or anything. One day he was out (P) wandering around, and one of the older people in town told him he

needed to go to the memory bank . He asked what the memory bank was, they said it was a place where you could remember anything you wanted  to. Just figure out how to  pull things out of your memory . I guess he skipped that  part (P) of growing up. So, he found his way to the memory bank, and walked inside, and it looked like a regular bank. He walked up to one of the tellers and explained his  problem. She said this is a common problem, of not being able to remember things (BR), but there's a really easy way to fix it. You just need to familiarize yourself with memory , how the memory bank works (BR). She took him in back and showed him how to (P) make deposits and withdrawals . Then she left him in the main vault to look around. That's where he was able to remember everything  that had ever happened to him. He could remember from way back, and he could remember everything  that he'd read that day. After he figured it all out, he went back outside and played with his friends, happy he was able to understand how memory works . And then the professor explained how it worked in real life, how to take things  we need to remember, and associate them  with things we already know. I guess the trick is to spend the time creatively attaching what we want to know what we already know. Like keeping say the Latin name of whatever until it sounds like something familiar, and then associate them somehow . I ended up getting a B in that class, which was  pretty surprising since I never (P) really studied outside of class. I was just able to listen to the professor speak, and input things  into my memory as he said them, using the memory system that he'd explained. And after my boss told me this goofy rhyme, I was easily able to remember the order  (R) of all the stuff on the shelves. And it actually felt  pretty good (R) to stock the shelves, where before I was nervous, since I could remember everything  so easily (R).

Luckily in my first semester, I found a study group (R) for that political science class, and I found that by discussing the things we needed (P) to remember, rather than just reading them, it made it super easy to remember everything  (R). We met for one last review before the test, and had like a mini debate on different aspects, and we all got A's. It was a pretty cool experience (R).

Example - Party Skills - Becoming More Outgoing Situation - You are at a social gathering, or anywhere that  you'd like to help people release their inhibitions and feel more confident and outgoing. Use the following story word for word, or change it as you like. Just be sure it maintains the Hero's Journey Emotions. Story One

1A You moved to a new city because of work (orphan) 1B Your TV and Internet were out, only had smartphone (orphan) 1C You didn't know what to do (orphan) 1D You went to a bar alone for the first time, deciding to be more outgoing (final battle -acceptance) 1E

You met a group of new friends at a restaurant- bar, and stopped watching so much TV (final battle - victory) Story Two

2A A friend used by be really shy (orphan) 2B He would go out whenever friends would invite him, but never on his own (wanderer) 2C He wanted to overcome his shyness, so he purchased a hypnosis program (wanderer) 2D He listened every night and followed the instructions (warrior) 2E He became a master Pick Up Artist (warrior) Story Three

3A You took a speech class once (wanderer)

3B  The professor was really kind (wanderer) 3C She told the class a goofy story to help everybody relax and feel more confident (wanderer) 3D Everybody was outgoing and more confident after the story (wanderer) 3E  The speeches were surprisingly amazing, everybody did well (wanderer) Story Four - Metaphor, Fairy Tale, Romance, Etc .

4A Once upon a time there was a young lion, whose parents died (orphan) 4B Because he was alone, nobody taught him how to roar (orphan) 4C

He decided to leave in search of his roar (wanderer) 4D He went way beyond the safety zone, because he didn't know any better (wanderer) 4E He found a secret place, discovered his roar, returned and shared his discovery (victorious warrior hero)  Tell the above in the following order: 1A - 1B - 1C - 2A - 2B - 2C - 3A- 3B - 3C - 4A - 4B - 4C 4D - 4E - 3D - 3E - 2D - 2E - 1D - 1E 1A - You moved to a new city (orphan) 1B - No TV or Internet (orphan) 1C - Didn't know what to do (orphan) 2A - A friend used to be shy (orphan) 2B - Only go out when invited (wanderer) 2C - Bought a hypnosis program (wanderer) 3A - You took a speech class (wanderer) 3B - Professor was really kind (wanderer) 3C - She told the class a story (wanderer) 4A - Orphan young lion (orphan) 4B - Didn’t know how to roar (orphan) 4C - Left in search of his roar (wanderer) 4D - Went beyond the safety zone (wanderer) 4E - Discovered his roar (victorious warrior hero) 3D - Everybody confident after the story (wanderer) 3E - All speeches fantastic (wanderer) 2D - He listened every night (warrior)

2E - Became a master PUA (Warrior) 1D - You went to a bar alone (final battle -acceptance) 1E - Met a group of new friends (final battle - victory) P - Pause R - Gesture on good side L - Gesture on bad side Bold Underline - Embedded Commands SP - Self Point BR - Blurred Reality (true on more than one level) A few years ago, my company moved me (P) to a new city. It was a last-minute thing, I really didn't have much of a choice(L). There were all kinds of (P) consolidation, departments merging etc., and when I moved in, I guess somebody (P) forgot something (L). I had the electricity turned on but (P) no cable or Internet (L). So, all I had was my smart  phone. I didn't know what to do since I normally just (P) go to work, and then go home and watch TV. I felt like of silly there just (P) staring at the wall (L). I had a friend once that was really shy (L). He'd go out, but it was only when people would invite him. He didn't (P) feel confident  (R) enough to do things on his own, only when people asked him. He even had a couple of relationships (R), but they always just kind of happened. He never went out and made the decision to talk to interesting people  (R). So, he realized it was a (P)  problem, and that he really wanted to become more confident  (R), so he bought a hypnosis program. It promised to eliminate shyness  (R), and make it (P) easy to meet new  people  (R). So, he decided to listen to this  (BR) every night. I had a speech class once, my boss told me it was good  practice, a way to be more persuasive  (R), and increase confidence  (R). The first day everybody was pretty nervous

(L), but the professor was really nice (R). She wanted to make everybody feel really comfortable  (R), so she told this goofy story. Once upon a time there was this (P) baby lion that didn't have any parents (L). Because it didn't have any parents it didn't know how to be a lion. And most importantly nobody taught it how (P) to roar like a lion  (R). Nobody taught it how he was supposed to express courage  (R) the way lions do. So, one morning he decided to go out and search for this courage  (R). I guess he was related to the lion from the Wizard of Oz or something. But he didn't know they were supposed to stay inside this safety zone (L). This area the lions were supposed to stay inside of. So, he went way outside the safety zone (R) to  find courage  (R). And he found this (P) amazing oasis, that nobody had ever (P) discovered before. And he found a pond, and he saw (P) himself in the pond and thought it was pretty funny (R), so he roared at himself. Then he stayed there for a while, and  finally came back. He told everybody where he went, and they were (P) shocked. But he told them, "Don't worry, outside of the safety zone are people just like you,” (BR) and he showed them, and he was suddenly the cool kid (R), and all the girl lions liked him. After that goofy story, for some reason all the (P) students in the speech class were able to become super confident  (R), and gave awesome speeches. It was amazing (R). Usually when people give speeches they are pretty nervous (L), but everybody there spoke confidently  (R), and were able to use lots of gestures  (R, BR). And after a couple of weeks of listening to this hypnosis thing (BR), my friend was able to lose shyness  (R) completely, and found it (P) easy to become incredibly confident  (R). He was able to talk to interesting people  (R), make lots of friends  and completely change his life. And after I stared at the wall for about ten minutes, I decided to go outside (R) and see what I could find. I went to

his local bar, where I was able to meet friends  (R). Friends I still have, and that's probably the last time I watched TV. When I want to have fun  (R), I know that the best way to have fun is to meet new people  (R).

Example - Party Skills - Being Adventurous Situation - Any party or social gathering where you'd like to inspire those around you to become more adventurous. Use the following story word for word, or change it as you like. Just be sure it maintains the Hero's Journey Emotions. Story One

1A Went to the supermarket to buy dinner, but couldn’t decide (orphan) 1B Wandered around didn't know what to buy, running out of time (orphan) 1C Didn't feel like eating the same thing, but didn’t know what to get, felt stuck (orphan) 1D Saw a flier for a cooking class (final battle -acceptance) 1E  Joined at the last minute and learned how to cook something new (final battle - victory)

Story Two

2A Used to be in a rut with a girlfriend (orphan) 2B Always dinner and a movie, same places every weekend (wanderer) 2C Led to boredom, both in what we did and with each other (wanderer) 2D Decided to go bowling for some reason (warrior) 2E  Joined a bowling league, met new friends, created more excitement in relationship (warrior) Story Three

3A In college, signing up for classes, not sure what to take (wanderer) 3B

Advisor said to take a cross cultural class to satisfy two requirements with one class (wanderer) 3C Nervous at first, but teacher was friendly (wanderer) 3D Really interesting, learned all about different cultures and ways of thinking (wanderer) 3E Learned about things never knew existed (wanderer) Story Four - Metaphor, Fairy Tale, Romance, Etc.

4A Young Mongolian peasant – entire village, including parents killed by bandits (orphan) 4B No direction, had to scrape by, figure things out on his own (orphan) 4C Didn't accept defeat, refused to give up, always willing to try new things in order to survive (wanderer)

4D Grew up and became a great military leader, great conqueror (wanderer) 4E Ended up being Genghis Khan - Greatest Conqueror of All  Time (victorious warrior hero)  Tell the above in the following order: 1A - 1B - 1C - 2A - 2B - 2C - 3A- 3B - 3C - 4A - 4B - 4C 4D - 4E - 3D - 3E - 2D - 2E - 1D - 1E 1A - Went to buy dinner (orphan) 1B - Didn't know what to buy (orphan) 1C - Got frustrated (orphan) 2A - In a rut with a girlfriend (orphan) 2B - Always same thing (wanderer) 2C - Boredom (wanderer) 3A - Signing up for classes (wanderer) 3B - Took a cross cultural class (wanderer) 3C - Nervous at first, teacher friendly (wanderer) 4A - Mongolian peasant orphan (orphan) 4B - Had to scrape by (orphan) 4C - Didn't accept defeat (wanderer) 4D - Became a great military leader (wanderer) 4E - Genghis Khan (victorious warrior hero) 3D - Interesting class (wanderer) 3E - Learned new things (wanderer) 2D - Went bowling (warrior) 2E - Joined a bowling league (warrior) 1D - Flier for a cooking class (final battle -acceptance)

1E - Learned to cook new things (final battle - victory) P - Pause R - Gesture on good side L - Gesture on bad side Bold Underline - Embedded Commands SP - Self Point BR - Blurred Reality (true on more than one level) (Note, SP and R can be used interchangeably) One time I went (P) shopping, I was in a weird mood (L). I normally cook, but I (P) cook really simple stuff. Like some kind of chicken and maybe some (P) vegetables. But that one time I was feeling a little like (P) having something I don't usually have, but I didn't know what (L). So, I was just wandering around the supermarket (L), swinging my (P) empty basket around. I must have wandered for thirty minutes, not having a clue what I wanted. I dated this one girl for a couple years, and we got stuck in this awful rut (L). I'd pick her up, we'd go have (P) a couple drinks, maybe dinner, see a movie, and I'd drop her off. It got so predictable (L) she started to (P) give me a hard time about it. I just wasn't motivated to do something differently , and we almost got into a few fights because of it. Once I was waiting in line right before my (P) last semester of college. I had to take two credits, but I had no clue (L) what to take. The line snaked past this table where they had these advisors sitting. I asked what I should do and one of the ladies suggested it take this cross-cultural class, as it would satisfy both requirements (R). I signed up, not knowing what I was in for. The first day of class was pretty (P) interesting (R), I was glancing through the syllabus and we were going to learn new things  (R) I didn't even know about. So, the

teacher comes in and starts telling us about this (P) kid in ancient (P) Mongolia. One day this band of robbers or gangsters came through his little village and killed pretty much everybody (L), except for this one kid. He was left with nobody (L), so he was (P) forced to learn quickly  (R) about how to handle adversity  (R). He had to quickly push the limits  (R) of what was comfortable. By the time he was a teenager, he'd already become fierce , and was able to speak persuasively  (R) and get people to follow him. He wasn't afraid to try new things  (R), just to see what would work. I guess that's what happens when you are put in a  position where you have to dig deep  (R) and find your strengths  (R). By the time he was in his twenties, he was a  pretty formidable military leader, and started conquering all the neighboring countries (R). Of course, this is the story (P) of Genghis Khan, one of the greatest (P) military strategists who ever lived. He was able to invent new things  (R), try new methods and had a way to look at the world  (R) with massive confidence, knowing he could bend the world  to his will (R). That was a pretty intense class. I mean she  forced us to talk about things (R), have discussions and look at other viewpoints (R), just to see what it was like. We even had to give speeches and presentations based on the viewpoint of somebody else. She really made us (P) stretch the imagination  (R). Finally, my girlfriend and I decided to try (P) something completely different (R), like on Monty Python, and we joined a bowling league. We met a lot of (P) cool people and started to try new things (R) on a regular basis. It was pretty cool. It took our normal relationship, and made this interesting  (R, BR) again. After I almost gave up and went home, I saw this flier for a world cooking class. I guess the supermarket was attached to this (P) cooking school, so I decided to do this  (R) up and ended up going there every Tuesday night for the next two months, and

every week the class could learn something new  (R) and try a new way  (R) of doing things.

Example - Party Skills - Thinking Independently Situation - You are in any social situation where you'd like to encourage those around you to think more independently. Use the following story word for word, or change it as you like. Just be sure it maintains the Hero's Journey Emotions. Story One

1A Kid in school with mean teacher, all the kids afraid of her (orphan) 1B Had to do exactly what she said, or else (orphan) 1C She would get really angry if you disagreed (orphan) 1D One girl stood up to her when she made a mistake (final battle -acceptance) 1E  The whole class won an argument with her, she changed her ways (final battle - victory)

Story Two

2A First boss really mean, didn’t accept disagreement of dissent of any kind (orphan) 2B Ex-military guy, used to a strict chain of command (wanderer) 2C Believed in following orders without question (wanderer) 2D Finally, one guy stood up to him, used logic and science to question him (warrior) 2E He ended up being the new boss - company was successful (warrior) Story Three

3A I had this one medical problem, didn’t know the cause (wanderer)

3B Doctors kept giving me drugs, none of them worked (wanderer) 3C Finally went to an herbalist, searching for anything that would help, she told a story (wanderer) 3D  Through meditation found improper diet was causing the problem (wanderer) 3E Fixed everything by eating differently (wanderer) Story Four - Metaphor, Fairy Tale, Romance, Etc.

4A  The gods originally created humans to be servants (orphan) 4B  They weren't allowed to even think independent thoughts, had to only serve the gods (orphan) 4C One day, a hero was born that was a rebel, and decided to defy the gods (wanderer)

4D He fought against the gods and defeated them (wanderer) 4E Humans have been free ever since (victorious warrior hero)  Tell the above in the following order: 1A - 1B - 1C - 2A - 2B - 2C - 3A- 3B - 3C - 4A - 4B - 4C 4D - 4E - 3D - 3E - 2D - 2E - 1D - 1E 1A - Mean teacher (orphan) 1B - Do exactly as she said (orphan) 1C - Got angry if you disagreed (orphan) 2A - First boss really mean (orphan) 2B - Ex-military guy (wanderer) 2C - Believed in following orders (wanderer) 3A - I had a medical problem (wanderer) 3B - Drugs didn't work (wanderer) 3C - Went to an herbalist (wanderer) 4A - Gods created humans to be servants (orphan) 4B - No independent thoughts (orphan) 4C - A rebel was born (wanderer) 4D - Fought the gods (wanderer) 4E - Humans now free (victorious warrior hero) 3D - Found diet was the problem (wanderer) 3E - Fixed everything by eating differently (wanderer) 2D - One guy stood up to him (warrior) 2E - He is new boss (warrior) 1D - Girl defied teacher (final battle -acceptance) 1E- The whole class won (final battle - victory)

P - Pause R - Gesture on good side L - Gesture on bad side Bold Underline - Embedded Commands SP - Self Point BR - Blurred Reality (true on o n more than one level) (R and SP can be used interchangeably) When I was a kid, first or second grade, I can't really (P) remember, we had this really mean teacher (L). I mean she was so scary (L), we were all afraid (L) to question the  (R). We had to do everything exactly the way she authority  (R). wanted, or else. I mean even if somebody (P) had a question they would wait until (P) recess to ask another kid, that's how terrifying (L) she was. All she wanted to hear was, "Yes, Ma'am." Once I worked at this company, and my supervisor was this (P) ex-military guy. Hated (L) any kind of dissension. Expected everybody to follow orders (L), like we were on a (P) ship or something, or we are at war. He kept saying that "business is war" as if that were reason enough. I had this (P) digestion problem, and I went to about three different doctors, and they never would even look at me (L). They'd all ask the same questions, and I tried to ask them questions but they wouldn't have time to listen. They didn't want to hear anything other than (P) what they were expecting (L). So finally, I decided to think outside the box  (R) a little bit. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I went to this herbalist. Some old (P) Chinese lady that sells all these herbs and stuff. I explained my problem to her, and she listened patiently (R). I started to become curious  (R)  (R) about all the different herbs in her shop so I started to ask

 (R), trying to find new information  (R)  (R) that questions  (R), might help me. This she started start ed telling me this weird (P) story, I swear I kept thinking she was making this up (SP, BR), but it was about a bout back in the day when the gods created (P) humans as servants. We weren't allowed to think  (R), or even do things on our own. We independently  (R), couldn't do anything except (P) follow orders. But then this one weird human was born. A rebel. Somebody that liked to  (R). To think independently  (R).  (R). question authority  (R). Somebody who would always create new ways  (R)of  (R)of doing things. Pretty soon others started to follow this example  (R  (R BR), of starting to question conventional wisdom  (R),  (R), and  (R). Pretty soon this hero led a think original thoughts  (R). rebellion against the gods, and they finally fina lly gave up, and we were able to gain freedom  (R),  (R), to control destiny ourselves, rather than follow other people. I think what that old Chinese lady was trying to tell me to do was to figure out  (R) on my own, and to release dependence  (R)  (R) on things  (R) others. So, I bought this (P) book on meditation, and after listening inside, I found the problem was my diet. After deciding to experiment a little bit  (R),  (R), I was able to solve the problem (R) on my own. And my digestion problem vanished. I remember one day that old military guy got into an argument with this other guy, and the other guy was able to remain calm (R), and look at things from other viewpoints . Pretty soon the (P) military guy had nowhere to go, and he was able to see things from a different  perspective . He retired soon thereafter, and the company was able to make a lot more money  (R).  (R). One day this girl had finally had enough. I guess she didn't like (P) being told what to do, and the teacher made a mistake. The girl  pointed it out, but she refused to back down. She was able to maintain the position  (R)  (R) despite the teacher's authority. Pretty soon everybody was on her side, and the

teacher finally gave up. That girl gave a great (P) example of how to think on your own  (R),  (R), and not be afraid of goofs in charge.

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