From a Text to Sex: Your Guide To Text Messaging Women Copyright 2011 College Flirt All Rights Reserved www.Collegeflirt.net
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N OTE FROM THE AUTHOR
Hello to you all, the College Flirt legion. First off, I want to thank you for making this purchase. I fucking slaved way into the wee hours of the day to bring this knowledge to some guys that needed it. It s huge. And it s detrimental to your game and your success with women in general. Text messaging is such a valuable tool when it comes to pushing things to the edge. Out of the many questions I get from our readers and even close friends who have no idea this odd little community exists, among the most common are about text messaging. What to say next, why isn t she responding to me, did I fuck it up? Well here it is. This is exactly the way I do things and the exact principals that I follow when making things happen via Text. In so much detail. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it ‒ Parker (HPRJ)
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C ONTENTS
C HAPTER 1: GETTING THE PHONE NUMBER C HAPTER 2: THE FIRST TEXT MESSAGE C HAPTER 3: EVERYTHING IN-BETWEEN C HAPTER 4: GETTING SEXUAL C HAPTER 5: THE MEET-UP B ONUS : HPRJ S TEXT CONVERSATION S & FIELD REPORTS
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CHAPTER 1:
GETTING THE PHONE NUMBER
IN CHAPTER 1: - WHEN YOU SHOULD GET HER NUMBER - CREATIVE WAYS TO GET HER PHONE NUMBER - TEASING HER WHILE GETTING THE NUMBER
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Well you can t send her a text without the phone number. So yea, this is fucking important. The typical guy fucks up on this small yet very important process on the regular. It s not a game breaker; I mean once you have the phone number you have the phone number. But there are several little tricks that can be used to help you out later on in the interaction. And the more of these you have in your arsenal, the better chance you have at success.
Please keep in mind, a phone number means shit in the dating world. Especially in college, at the bars and at parties. Women tend to give these out like hot cakes with no intention of sleeping with the guy a lot of the time. For reasons that include validation, getting rid of him, free drinks, making platonic friends. So with that said, lets get started.
Get it on a high emotional note in the interaction.
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This is obvious. It s as simple as handing her your phone and asking her to save her phone number. That s all. Most guys will end up getting the number when conversation face to face stales out, telling her it was good meeting her, and dip. This is a big no no. If you do this, you will be among the many chodes that have succeeded with her that night and her entire lifetime of giving out bullshit phone numbers. You will look like you have an agenda. You will fail, for the most part, and the number may end up being a flake. So, spice things up a bit. Here s how I do it.
When you hand her your phone, tell her to add her first and last name along with something funny to remember her. The first and last name help with adding her on facebook later on, so its easier to just get it out of the way for now. The something funny makes the interaction a little more playful then her usual phone number exchange and it also gives you something to use when you initiate the first text message. I ll talk about that later. While she s doing that, ask her to give you her phone so that you can do the same thing.
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Save it as your first and last name + something funny or even a bit cute. For example
Me: Parker Reyes V-NECK GTL
Me: Parker Reyes SWEET FACIAL HAIR
Me: Parker Reyes GODZILLA PENIS
Me: Parker Reyes HAND MODEL
Me: Parker Reyes FRATASTIC
And boom, you stand out and you might even make her laugh. So because she also added her name in your phone with something funny, you got her too somewhat invest in you. Even if it s this small, you want to get
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these girls investing in you in some way or another. And plus, you make yourself stand out. When you do eventually send that first text, she will remember all the good emotions you were providing her at that moment and things will end up going a lot smoother. You re setting yourself up for success.
So to reiterate an important point, once you switch phones back do not end the interaction and go game some other hoes in the vicinity. Continue on like you would have regardless of the phone number. Be smooth.
And if you feel like skipping this or even if its not needed, such as meeting a girl at a party whom you two have a lot of mutual friends, just hand her your phone and ask her to save her number. First and last name. A lot of the time, because I have a droid that s locked or what ever, the girl will have a hard time figuring out how to save a contact. Perfect opportunity to tease her a bit. This is what I do
Me: Aww, you remind me of my grandma trying to check her email
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Or something similar. It gets the job done and it s playful. All right so, getting the actual number is the easy part. Now this is where the fun stuff starts. First contact.
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C HAPTER 2:
T HE F IRST T EXT M ESSAGE
IN CHAPTER 2: - P ERFECT TIME TO SEND IT
- K EY
POINTS TO KEEP IN MIND
- E XAMPLE
S OF FUNNY FIRST TEXT MESSAGES
When and what time should I send it?
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There are a couple approaches to take on this subject. The first one is, send a text message about five or ten minutes after getting the phone number. Right in front of her, while both of you are still in a conversation. I love doing this and its so much fun to do. An easy to so solidify yourself even more in her head as well as a way to stand out from all the chodies. So what exactly do I send her you ask? Something playful, maybe even a tad bit sexual. Here are some examples to play around with.
Me: This cute blonde girl named (name) will not stop hitting on me ;)
Me: Oh my god the guy behind you totally just stared at your ass for like a good 10 seconds
Me: You have a sexy smile :)
Me: You have the cutest little mannerisms
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Me: See that guy behind me? I bet you can t go and get him to buy our drinks all night ;)
Me: I kind of want to make out with you right now, blondie ;)
The cool thing about this little trick is that eventually you can have a whole conversation thread going on in the middle of the bar/party that only you two know about. It s fun and it creates a sense of You and I .
Another approach to sending the first text message, if you didn t pull, is when the night is over and you two are already separated. I ve actually pulled of getting laid that night doing this. Brad from RSD calls it screening . Lets say you met her, got the phone number, chatted up for a bit, and you all ended up getting separated. At the end of the night, this kind of text message may in some situations act as a screen to tell if she s down to meet up afterwards that same night without actually asking her. It actually happens a lot, so have some fun with this. You can keep it simple with a text like
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Me: It was fun meeting you, dork :)
Me: Get home safe!
Me: Night, kiddo
Or if you want to spice things up a tad bit, you can try this out. Approaching it this way makes her feel special and there will be less of a chance that she will see you as having an agenda.
Me: I don t usually like meeting girls at (our frat party, bars, parties) but you actually seem pretty cool :)
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And the final approach I take a lot of the time is sending her the first text message a day or two after. This is probably the most common approach in my book. The first text message in this light can make or break the interaction so trek with caution. Keep these simple things in mind and you should be all right.
- Keep it short and sweet with a bit of humor
- Avoid going for the meet-up with the first text such as, Hey wanna hang out tonight? - Stray away from logical text messages such as, Hey what s up, what are you up to? - Avoid getting all mushy gushy on her and telling her how amazing she was or even how incredibly sexy she was when you met her - Avoid short yes or no answer questions
So with all of that in mind, what the hell should you send her? Easy.
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Like I said, you want to initially send her something short and sweet, preferably a statement not a question, mixed in with a bit of humor. An easy way to approach this is refer to something that you and her talked about when you first met. Lets say she said she was a freshmen majoring in public relations or something. Knowing this, send something like
.
Me: Hola freshie, all of you kids look so lost in this big college campus ha
Or if she lost beer-pong as your partner at the party
.
Me: Oye! I hope to god you ve been practicing your beer-pong skills
Or if she s rushing a sorority
Me: Lol, please tell me you re in that mob of little southern girls walking down the street right now
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It s pretty simple. Just refer to something that stood out in the initial interaction and add some humor. Statements instead of questions show low investment on your part, and with low investment on your part her not responding to a funny statement isn t as bad as you asking her a question and her not responding. Play it safe.
Another first text option is to ask her a funny irrelevant question that has nothing to do with her or even a statement. Make it super fucking random. It ll usually catch her off guard and may even peak her curiosity. The fact that it s so random means her not sending a response isn t that big of a deal. Here are some examples
Me: Is it just me or is parking fucking impossible to find on campus?
Me: Oh my god, Atlanta has to have the most hobo s per capita
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Me: I just saw a homeless guy pee on the side of Moe s in aderhold. Lol
Me: Lol I literally just walked in on a couple having sex on the fourth floor of the library.
Come up with your own or feel free to use the examples above. Pick and choose your approach when it comes to the first text message, they all pretty much will work the same way. Depending on the situation, one may be a better choice among the rest and with experience you will get an intuition about which option to take. But for now, stick with what s comfortable. Stick to the guidelines above and you should be golden.
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C HAPTER 3:
E VERYTHING I N - BETWEEN
IN CHAPTER 3: - LEVEL OF INVESTMENT
-
EMOTICONS
-
USING WITTY INTELLIGENCE
-
HOLDING THE POWER
- HUMOR
AND TEASING
-
SETTING FRAMES
-
NUDE PICTURES
- CREATIVE
WAYS TO GET HER TO INVEST
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All right so you got the phone number. You sent the first text message. She replied. What comes next? What should I say and should I not say? Chapter three will talk about everything in between the first text message and the meet-up. This is where you can make it or break it kiddos. In this chapter I ll go over teasing, framing, baiting, going sexual, getting away with high intent statements, making her feel special, and the what not to do s about all of it. If you re ever in a bind and have no idea what to reply to the girl, come back to this section and you will find an answer. Here we go.
So depending on how the interaction went face to face, the girl may be hot for you or she may be somewhat cold. Depending on this, you can get away with a lot more shit with the former rather then the latter. Keeping this in mind, you can cater your responses and the direction you choose to lead the text conversation based off of her investment level in you. Sometimes they are super into you and it comes across in their responses. Sometimes they aren t, and you ll end up getting one-word responses or sometimes even no responses at all.
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G IRL A
So lets say you have a girl who happens to be all in your shit. You feel like you have it in the bag. These are the easiest to text, game, and make shit happen. It s a given. But knowing this before hand will let you skip unnecessary steps and get you closer to the end game faster. How to know if your girl is girl A
- She responds to your text messages almost immediately - A lot of sexual flirtation in her responses - She asks a lot of logical questions - She will send you double text messages - She uses a lot of emoticons and lol s - She hints at meet-ups
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It s pretty obvious when you run into these and its fucking awesome. Things are just so much easier. You executed proper game face to face and she thinks you re the shit. With this type of girl, you have a lot more leeway to sending her bad text messages that pull you back. It s awesome. So how should you cater your responses for this type of girl?
- Set a sexual playful tone right off the bat - Go for the meet-up as soon as the window of opportunity presents itself with something simple like,
Drinks in buck-head tonight, wear something cute ;) - Set the frame of her chasing you and you re just an innocent little man
Later I ll go into detail about methods of peaking her interest as stated above. But for now, I just want you to keep in mind that you should cater your responses to the type of girl you re dealing with.
G IRL B
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This is the type of girl that is the most common in my experience. You have got to slowly work them up to the meet up, following the rules of showing low investment and using humor and sexuality. How to tell if your girl is girl B
.
- She responds with short yet somewhat invested responses - She shit test s you over text messages - She sometimes takes 20 minutes or even hours to respond to some text messages - She plays well with light sexual innuendos but will go somewhat cold if you cross the line - You can tell she s interested, but she s holding back
These are fun. You have to work for them, this is where you will get the most experience and reference points when it comes to texting girls. You send a response and she takes 15 minutes to answer. You think to
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yourself
hmmm what is this girl up to? . She knows the game too. Women play it just like we do. The rest
of the chapter will cater mostly to this type of girl, so I ll skip the things to keep in mind .
G IRL C
Cold, uninterested, one word or even none responses. These suck, but they happen. Probably due to bad face to face game, or maybe she s going through some shit in her life at the moment. For the most part, after a two text messages max sent to her and zero responses, I ll burn the bridge and cut my losses. The last thing you want to do is sound needy or some dumb shit. Especially in the social circles the college provides you. You ll probably see her again in person; focus on working her at that time. Anything else will be a waste.
S OME THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND
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Here are some things you should always keep in mind while in a text conversation. They are simple but important. They are as followed
- Always take either as long to respond to a text message as the girl, or even respond a couple of hours later - Don t respond to low investment text messages such as one word responses or bland responses. If you choose, text her the next day using the first text message examples in Chapter 1.
- Try to be the first to end the conversation on a high note with a smiley face emoticon. She
will most
likely not respond to a text message like this but in reality you were the one who cut short. If she does respond even better. You know it s on. - Never send double text messages, as in one after the other without her responding. It looks needy as fuck. You re a busy guy with options remember? Play the role
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- Respond with text messages that illicit a response. No yes or no answer questions, no bland
statements that offer zero value. - If she doesn t respond to a text message, wait at least a day or two to send another. Again, don t be a
needy fuck. - Play around with not responding to text messages at all. Especially one s that she put a lot of
investment into. With this, you increase tension, which is what you want.
M Y OPINION ON USING EMOTICONS
I m tired of hearing people say that using smilies over text is gay. Fuck you. It s not gay. It lets you get away with so much shit. Add a winky face to a sexual text and it somehow makes everything okay. Add a smiley face to the end of a cute statement and it compliments the statement that much more. Tease her over text and add a :p (tongue sticking out) smiley to it and somehow I ve gotten way better response rates due to these little fuckers. Use them, a lot. Don t go over board or anything haha, but use them as a silver lining to
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a rather high investment text message and watch how smooth it turns out. Take my word for it. Smilies are golden.
C HOICE OF WORDS AND USING WITTY INTELLIGENCE
When I converse with a girl over text messages, I try and tend to sound a little more intelligent then usual. Things come across better things are just smoother when you approach it like this. I also use correct grammar and spelling for the most part. Keeping this in mind, you can get away with riskier humor and sexually charged responses. For example
This
Me: lol so are we hanging out or what cause its my birthday
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Becomes this
.
Me: Are we hanging out tonight or what missy? Saying no to the birthday boy sleep at night??
Or
Me: I thought you didn t like sushi
Becomes this
Me: I thought you despised sushi. Save the whales blah blah blah! Hypocrite
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cardinal sin. How can you
It just sounds better. You come across like you should, intelligent and high value. A small aspect in the grand scheme of things, but I honestly feel like it makes a difference in the end.
A LWAYS KEEP THE UPPER HAND
In any text message conversation, either you or the girl has the upper hand. One of you controls the interaction and one of you holds the power. The more power you have, the more you can get away with. This is so key, you must always ask yourself if you re the one on top of if she is and cater your responses depending on the answer to that question. I ll give you a good example of the power exchange for better clarity.
Lets say you re texting some girl right. You send a text and after 10 minutes, no response. An hour passes by, still no response. You get that awful sinking feeling in your stomach, FUCK I shouldn t have sent that runs through your head. In this case, she holds the power. You are thinking about her more then she is
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thinking about you. Your investment is higher then hers, and its obvious. But the great thing about this is, the power can ebb and flow between both of you easily. It is very easy to manipulate and turn things in your favor. When you find yourself in a similar situation, keep these things in mind.
1. If she replies with low investment text messages, either reply with even lower or choose not to respond at all. I m specifically talking about one-word responses, like sure or sounds good or Bet . This small change will tilt the power in your direction.
2. If she takes longer then you to respond to text messages, take longer then her! Simple! Don t reply immediately unless you can tell she s already investing pretty high
3. End the conversation first, on a high note. With this, you have the power and you keep the power until you reinitiate. It s a very subtle feeling, but she knows the deal and so do you. With this, you can reinitiate
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whenever you want, and if she reinitiates it shows high investment on her part, which is what you want. It means she s interested.
All right, so if you send a text message and she doesn t respond for a while, you gotta be patient. Do not give away your power more then you already have. Wait a couple of days and reinitiate with something funny and low investment. A funny statement will do.
C ONTINUOUSLY MOVING THINGS FORWARD
A lot of aspects come into this. Your end goal is the meet-up. Everything in between is showing her how fun, playful, funny, sexual, and dominant you are via through text messages. I ll give you an example. This is an actual text message conversation between a lovely blonde and I. I ll point out what I did and later on go more in depth of the different concepts used within the example.
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Her You butt munch! Why would you like that my relationship status changed!? Me Sarcasm and dry humor I would assume. (Short and simple phrase. Very little investment on my part. It gets the ball rolling.) Her Lame. I took it off cause creepy people came out of the wood works when your single .
Me Hahahahaha. And here I was, wasting away in my own self loathe (Notice the nice word use and sarcasm) Her haha what? Me Are you laughing and then asking what, or are you asking me what I m laughing at? I am confused. Me Actually, that was irrelevant. Are you still single? (Cut the useless thread, lead the conversation to somewhere I wanted it to be) Her Yes very much so! Me I m actually surprised and mildly offended that miss 4 month dry spell has yet to call me at 3 am for a
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booty call Me or we could have just eaten chocolate ice cream while watching the notebook. I can be sensitive at times. (Boom, strait sexual. I m baiting her for a response. If she bites, I ll continue to go sexual. If she doesn t I ll cut the thread. I also put a silver lining at the end of a phrase were I show a lot of investment. I ll explain this concept later)
Her Lol, I m used to it by now. Well kinda. Her You sensitive? Yea right. You are just trying to get a booty call. Me No no no, you have it all wrong. I m the one helping you out by supplying you with the best sex of your entire life. Regardless, you are in a whole different category. You have a personality, which contains intelligence and color. Booty calls are only reserved for the dumb ones. (Appearing high value by being good in bed and qualifying her at the same time. Making her feel like she s special and not just some girl I m trying to have sex with) Her Wow, what a compliment.
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So in the above example, I used sarcastic humor, cut threads, went sexual, silver lined, and qualified. Huge. All of those things are elements that you should focus on when moving things forward.
P LAYFUL
TACTICS WHEN TEXT MESSAGING
F RAME SETTING
I one read that a frame is the underlying assumption behind an interaction. That s the most accurate definition I could think of. For example, you walk up to a girl at a bar and ask to buy her a drink. What s the frame in this scenario? You re hitting on her and want to get into her pants of course. This is the underlying frame. But the cool thing about this is, we can set a playful frame for the girl to fall into and use it to up our attraction through text messages. I use this all the time and it s a fun and easy way to keep the conversation rolling and keep her investing. Here are some fun frames to set up in the middle of a conversation and some examples for you to try out.
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- She is the aggressor and sexual predator Example 1: You re a player aren t you Example 2: Does that work on every guy you try it on? Example 3: Whoa, your moving a little too fast for me dear ;)
- You are bad for each other Example 1: You re cute and all, but we would eat each other alive Example 2: You are such a bad influence, I would get nothing done with you around ;)
- You two don t get along Example 1: I hate you and never want to speak to you again. Ever. Example 2: WE RE THROUGH! Example 3: It s a love hate relationship with us. But right now its hate.
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- She s trying to get you to like her Example 1. Awwww, you re so cute when you try to impress me Example 2. You ve officially won me over. Would you prefer a ribbon or a trophy?
- Boyfriend girlfriend (classic frame) Example 1: Look, if you keep treating me like shit I m going to leave you, forever. Example 2: Hey baby, its our 2 week anniversary and I got us a private jet to Paris with a picnic at the Ifle tower. Get dressed
Come up with your own fun and intriguing frames for her to jump into or feel free the use the ones above. You can tell she acknowledges the frame if she laughs (hahah reply) or starts to play along.
H OW TO GET A DIRTY PICTURE
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Oh this is a fun little game. But it s tricky. Some girls are down to send on the initial try, and it s usually a lot easier if you ve been hooking up with them on the regular. But if not, lets say before you guys even have sex, there s a way to do it. Give or take a few facets, this is pretty much how I attempt to get her to send a nude picture.
In the middle of a text conversation, preferably when things are already sexual or she s giving a lot of investment, send something like this
You: Be spontaneous and send me a dirty picture, like the ke$ha song
Simple text message but it s a good start. Notice the Be spontaneous part. Women love to be considered spontaneous. Its just so
.edgy and fun. In this case, I m using the idea as somewhat of a bait. Along with
the tag of like the ke$sha song , remember sending a text message with rather large investments can be
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balanced out with a funny comment at the end. If they feel uncomfortable, they can completely ignore the dirty picture statement and reply with a lol I love ke$ha statement rather then completely acknowledging the request and saying hell no or ignoring the text message completely. It s an easy trick to keep things moving without causing awkward lapses.
Anyways, this is an actual conversation that I have had in the past with one of my recent hookups. Very conservative girl, but of course I love the challenge.
Me: Be spontaneous and send me a dirty picture, like the ke$ha song
Her: Hahahah totally not that kind of girl Me: Oh hush. There s classy ways to pull off dirty things. You just gotta follow some rules Her: NO! hahahah
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.
Me: Rule number one, never show your face. But if you must, only show your chin and your lips. The picture must remain indistinguishable. Rule two, never be completely naked. Rule number three, never put your hand or any object next to your vagina. Rule number four
..
Her: You know all of this too well. Haha Me: I think its fun. And if you don t send them, you always have something to look at when you feel self conscious :P Her: Haha even without my face you can tell it s me because of my tattoo Me: I thought you were creative Her: Oh I am
.
.
Her: *DIRTY PICTURE YAY! Me: This was a bad idea
.;)
G ER HER TO INVEST
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I ve mentioned it time and time again in this guide; you want to get her to invest in any way possible. It s so important. There are a couple of fun ways to do this that don t necessarily involve word exchange. One thing I like to do a lot is start a little picture exchange game. Send her an initial text message like this in the middle of a conversation or even while reinitiating one
Me: Ok we re playing a game and this is how it works. I send you a random picture from where I m at and you have to guess where. Then you send me one and I reciprocate. Ready!? GO
Then take a picture of something in your vicinity. Make it funny, like a toilet or a plate and silver wear (if you re out at a restaurant) or even a kid sleeping (if your in class). Have fun with this and she will too. Sometimes I ll even take a picture of my elbow and send it with a text tag of (here s my weenus! How s that for a dirty picture). Remember guys, provide fun emotions and value and she will invest.
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Another way you can get her to invest is to ask her to look up a funny video on you-tube or even a song that might be stuck in your head at the moment. This is my approach
Me: I just laughed so hard that I cried. Look up name on you-tube, insanity
Me: Dance music is taking over the world. Search name on you-tube and tell me that you love it
Me: Go look at the video of my and my friends Ibiza trip on my facebook! And then please visit there before you die. Amazing
Basically what I m getting her to do is go out of her way to actually search for these videos on the Internet. It s a very simple and effective way to get her to invest into the idea of you.
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C HAPTER 4:
G ETTING S EXUAL
IN CHAPTER 4: - W ORD OF CAUTION
- R HEN
TO GET SEXUAL
- E IFFERENT
LEVELS OF SEXUALITY
This is the fun stuff. Turning things sexual in middle of a conversation can prove to be tricky. But you have to keep in mind the timing has to be right and it s a high risk high reward maneuver, but has the possibility of setting you back a lot with a girl that may have been interested initially.
Just because you may want to take things sexual at the moment doesn t mean that you have to or even that you should do so. I ve gotten a lot of my lays without ever being super sexual over a text message, so you have got view this topic as a cherry on top not the end all be all final move. The more you practice the better you ll get and the more you will start to recognize windows of opportunity.
So with all of that in mind, I ll start off with some simple Do s and Don ts on going sexual through text messages.
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D O S?
- Switch between sexual conversation and normal conversation; don t stay one type too long - Misinterpret her text messages in a sexual way (sexual innuendo) every now and then. It gets the ball rolling - Test how sexual she can get slowly, too much too soon will creep her out and you ll lose her. - Mirror her feedback and adjust your investment depending on her level of investment - Incorporate funny sexual stories about your friends (or even made up ones) to set a sexual frame - Aim to go sexual when you have the power in the conversation, as I mentioned earlier.
D ON TS ?
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- Don t go sexual all the time - Don t misinterpret everything she says as something sexual (too many sexual innuendoes are bad bad bad) - Don t try and go sexual early on unless you baited her and she took it
Note, be careful with this when texting girls in your social circle. Remember, you re going to see these girls all the time and if you happen to go overboard on the sexuality, which is easy to do, shit could get awkward and I don t want that for you. It s happened to me before, so be cautious.
So to start off, you want to bait her with something very subtle or maybe just a bit over flirtatious and she how she responds. If she responds with something positive, then respond with something that has the same sexual energy that she initially responded with. You have got take things slow, think of it as climbing a ladder. One step at a time.
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S EXUAL B AIT T ACTICS
All right so at first like I mentioned, you have to start out small. With every bait she takes, you can move up and take the riskier approach, which I ll talk about later in this chapter. Like I said, think of it like a ladder.
In level one, you want to use exaggerated sexual references or completely unrealistic statements that should be funny. These are completely fictional so that she know s you re only being playful. It s low risk low return, aiming to make her laugh and get the thought of her having sex with you in motion.
Example 1: If I wasn t a born again virgin practicing celibacy, it would so be on.
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Example 2: Stop, you re turning me on. Example 3: Hey now, last time I saw you you completely took advantage of me. I m not just some piece of meat Example 4: We re breaking up now, don t expect any makeup sex
Remember to use these in context of the conversation so they don t seem weird. When going sexual, practice misinterpreting as well as frame setting to get the ball rolling. Here s an example of me turning things sexual from a simple comment
Her: No I gotta come home and get my heels and get sexified Me: Don t try that in front of me I might make a scene
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Her: haha and why s that? Me: I'm a physical person remember? And it s a little amplified if lets say you were "sexified" and in heels. Her: hahahahaha oh god Me: And in lacy underwear. Her: hahahahaha I said nothing about that Me: Oh no it s okay, it can be our little secret
As for misinterpretations, this is literally one of the main ways that I go sexual. If she talks about not knowing what to wear out that night, tell her to go naked. If she talks about just getting out of the shower, accuse her of trying to turn you on in a playful way.
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So with the beginning stages out of the way, you now want to up the stakes ONLY if she took the bait and started to play along. Instead of making unrealistic statements and exaggerations, start to focus on you and her, preferably about the last time you guys met. Example
Example 1: Mmmm, I totally should have kissed you last time we hung out. Example 2: We keep talking like this and I might not be able to control myself next time I see you ;) Example 3: Kinda couldn t stop thinking about kissing you last night Example 4: You know I m a biter, you better cool your jets ;)
And now if she takes the bait to these, you want to bring out the big guns. But please be careful. This is high risk high reward, you risk the chance of crossing the line but the reward is turning her on a fuck ton. With this, the next time you see her should be amped up with sexuality.
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I start off with something simple like this
.
Me: Oh god, the things I would do to you
If she has the right amount of investment, which she should, she will most likely respond with something like this
.
Her: Oh really? What? ;)
I love when this happens. I go full fucking romance novel on her ass, detail s and everything. Women LOVE details when it comes to sexual fantasies. Here as an actual text conversation with a Russian beauty whom speaks super broken English.
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Me: Grab your ass with one hand, firmly pull the hair on the nape of your neck with the other. All while nibbling on your bottom lip. I don t think you could handle it ;) Her: Is that it? Me: Throw you against the wall, grab your hips in close while you wrapped your legs around me. My tongue slowly slides down your neck, to your tits, and stops at your nipple. I bite down. You close your eyes, your head falls back and your hips thrust forward
.
Her: Mmmmm, I love this Me: You slide your fingers down my pants and put your hand around my cock. Your head tilts forward, I feel your wet tongue lick my ear and you whisper Her: ;) (I don t respond to this)(Few hours later)
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I want you inside me
Her: What s next??? Me: You tell me ;) Her: I m going to be all yours next time we meet, so you tell me Me: Alright, send me a picture and I ll continue. Give me something to work with ;) (couple of hours later) Me: you re no fun. Her: I don t like sending pictures. Just for you, one and only (SEXY AS FUCK PICTURE)
(I don t respond) Her: We had a deal, are you going to continue? Me: My fingers slowly slides up your skirt and I slide them along the seam of your panties. My other hand grabs your tit while my tongue plays with the edges of your lips. You close your eyes. I
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fell your wet pussy over the thin piece of cloth. You bit my neck, and my hips thrust into yours. You can feel my cock through my pants, it rubs up and down your thighs Her: So sexy
.
(I don t respond) Her: I cannot wait to suck your cock!!!
She ended up coming over and we had amazing sex, but that s not the point. Take note on just how sexual I made things. I view situations like that as a special move that could do much damage. Keep your eyes peeled for the opportunity and execute when possible. New guys PLEASE be careful when using this! But take some risks and have some fun!
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C HAPTER 5:
T HE
MEET - UP
IN CHAPTER 5: - P ERFECT TIME TO STRIKE
- R OW
NOT TO APPROACH THE MEET - UP
- P SING -
THE SILVER LINING
TECHNIQUE
HOW TO HANDLE FLAKES
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The final step. Our end-goal. Everything else is just leading up to the meet-up and building attraction. So far I ve covered getting the phone number, the first text message, ways to increase attraction and create a playful vibe, and finally taking things to a sexual level. By now, you should have enough information required to stand out. She wants it and you just have to make it happen.
Here are some things to keep in mind. You do not want to make the meet-up a formal process. In other words, don t make it a date or put it up on a pedestal. Doing this gives the situation a lot of social pressure; cause the girl to feel nervous and sometimes even awkward. This is the number one mistake guys make when attempting the meet up. It usually ends up in a flake unfortunately. So what you do want to do is throw it in as a side note in the conversation. You want to make sure she knows damn well that you two will have a fun time together and you will be the necessary provider of good emotions, just like you have been throughout your text message conversations.
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Another thing that you don t want to do, I actually stated this back in the beginning of the e-book, is not to go for the meet-up on the first text message. It s the easy way out and a lot of guys do it, but you will almost always end up getting a shitty response or none at all. This also goes for social circle game.
When to strike?
As with everything in text game, at a high point in the interaction. Once the ball is rolling and you two are already vibing pretty hard over text is when you make your move. What I ll usually do is end the conversation first and side note the meet-up. Here s an example
Me: Ha, well I have some schoolwork to attend to, free on Wednesday?
56
.
It s that simple. The more investment a girl has in you, the less effort you have to put into the meet-up. This is exactly why you want to make your move at a high point, because things are just easier when she s all fired up.
Especially for women whom you ve met through your social circle, invite her out for drinks casually with you and your friends. Tell her to bring hers. The goal here is to get her face to face, not necessarily on a date , but simply face to face.
Remember that silver lining term I used earlier in the book? Well you should use it here as well. When asking a girl to meet-up, tag the statement with something funny (a silver lining) to lesson the tension. For example
Me: Hey, drinks tonight?
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Becomes
Me: Hey, drinks tonight? But only if you bring me some French fries from mcdonalds I ve been craving them all day
Or
Me: Come party at my place tonight, but only if you bring your beer-pong A-game
Using the silver lining gives her the opportunity to acknowledge the joke statement at the end instead of flat out saying no if she was disinterested or too busy. As I mentioned earlier, it lessons the tension and lets you get away with a high investment statement without the risk of rejection .
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And now lastly, on to the damned flakes. They happen regardless of how well you played the game. The key thing here guy s is to not take them personal. The last thing you want to do is over react and send a text message abusing her for her shit actions. Sometimes I want to, trust me, but it s the wrong road to go down.
Instead of over-reacting, send something simple like cool maybe next time or you totally missed out tonight, boooo
Then reinitiate a text conversation a couple of days later. Remember, low investment and funny. You do not want her to view you as this needy guy that got hurt when she flaked on you. You have options and it was her loss, so it s no big deal. Keep it light, play the game and get her to invest then re-initiate the meet-up.
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B ONUS :
I N -F IELD R EPORTS
W HAT THE BONUS ?: - A CTUAL TEXT / FACEBOOK CONVERSATIONS
-
EPIC FIELD REPORTS
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Okay so because I m awesome and I care about you all, I ve compiled a couple of real life scenario text message conversations along with some field reports of my debauchery in field. Honestly, one of the BIGGEST learning tools we all have out there is other people s experience. Detailed experiences. It s second best to watching it in person in my opinion. So please, enjoy and learn all my dirty tricks!
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FIESTY EYES - TEXT CONVO HER: HAHA SORRY I'VE BEEN AT WORK. WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
ME: CHANNEL 72, EDITOR MAY WANT TO USE THAT FOOTAGE BECAUSE ITS REALITY TV MATERIAL. WHAT TROUBLE ARE YOU GETTING INTO TONIGHT?
HER: HAHAHA OMG. I PROBABLY LOOK SO NASTY! I'M WAITING TO GET OFF WORK THEN GO TO BED. YOU?
ME: EARLY BEDTIME BEFORE A HOLIDAY HUH. ROOKIE. LIVE CLOSE TO CAMPUS?
HER: HAHA I'M EXAUSTED I'VE BEEN HERE SINCE 330. ): (NOTICE HOW SHE DIDDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION. SHE AIN'T READY YO)
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ME: OUR CONVERSATION WAS CUT SHORT LAST NIGHT. NO BUENO. COME WATCH NETFLIX AND MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS, GREEK HOUSING ON PEIDMONT (:
(PLOW ANYWAYS. PLOW PLOW PLOW)
HER: LOL WE CAN KEEP OUR CONVO ON THE PHONE FOR NOW. I'M WAY TOO TIRED
ME: I SAW UNDERCOVER BOSS, I KNOW WHAT YALL GO THROUGH. BAHA, GOOD MONEY BUT PEOPLE SUCK ALOT OF THE TIME.
WE'LL HANG OUT SOON THEN :) (MAKING CONNECTIONS AKA TRUST ME I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
TO BE A SERVER BLAH BLAH ALSO, NO MORE PLOWING)
HER: HELL YEA I HAD TO GET AN ATTITUDE WITH A FEW PEOPLE TODAY LOL. I DID PRETTY GOOD MONEYWISE. WE SHOULD THOUGH :) (MAKING CONNECTIONS...SHE LIT UP.
SHE'S INVESTING MORE AND MORE INTO HER REPLIES)
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ME: BAHAH I ONCE GOT A 2 DOLLAR BILL FOR A TIP ON A 70 DOLLAR BARTAB AND THE DUDE THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY BECAUSE PEOPLE CONSIDER THEM "RARE".
RETARDED (AGAIN, MAKING CONNECTIONS)
HER: WTF ID KICK SOMEBODIES ASS. HAHAH, YOU BARTEND?
ME: YEA DEPENDS ON IF WERE SLAMMED OR NOT. BOSS MAN IS WEIRD CAUSE I'M ONLY 20. BUT ONCE JULY HITS ITS ON (NOTICE HOW I TRY TO STRAY AWAY FROM SOUNDING LIKE I'M BRAGGING OR QUALIFYING MYSELF TO THIS GIRL. IF I WAS LIKE "OH YEA IM A BARTENDER SO COOL YAYAYA HUGE COCK" SHIT WOULD HAVE BEEN GAY)
HER: HAHA AWWWW WHERE AT?
ME: PARK TAVERN. REMIND ME TO TELL YOU A FUNNY STORY NEXT TIME I SEE YOU. WE FIT AN ICE SKATING RINK INSIDE THE BAR!
(SEEDING.....OUR DAY 2) 64
HER: IDK WHERE THAT IS. BUT OKAY HAHAH. YOU NEED TO MAKE IT SOON THEN BECAUSE I'M A VERY FORGETFUL PERSON :) (PEW PEW PEW)
ME: HEY NOW, COULD HAVE BEEN TONIGHT. BUT YOU'RE "TOO TIRED". ;) (TEASE TEASE TEASE)
HER: HAHA SORRY, MY BED WAS CALLING MY NAME. LOL. (: (SEE RIGHT HERE I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE GONE SEXUAL ON THIS GIRL. EQUALLY SLEEZY LINE.
SOMETHING LIKE "OH WAIT....I THINK I CAN HEAR IT CALLING MY NAME TOO" OR SOME SHIT WORKS. BUT BECAUSE I'M SOMEWHAT OUTCOME DEPENDENT ON THIS GIRL CAUSE
SHES SO FUCKING FINE I DIDDN'T.)
ME: HA I SEE YOU WERE IN MY BUDDIES PHOTOSHOOT. I WAS GOING TO GO TO THAT. SMALL WORLD (MAKING CONNECTIONS, MUTUAL FRIENDS, BLAZI BLAZI)
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HER: LOL YEA IT WAS FUN! WHY DIDDN'T YOU GO?
ME: SOMETHING ELSE CAME UP LAST MIN. WAIT SO YOU'RE A FRESHY, DO YOU LIVE IN THE DORMS? (BOOM AGAIN WITH THE QUESTION ABOUT WHERE SHE LIVES.
SHE'S NOW READY TO ANSWER BECAUSE SHE'S ALREADY
INVESTED)
HER: IT WAS THAT GF OF YOURS WASNT IT? HAHA JK. YEA, I DO. (SMALL SHIT TEST. QUESTION ANSWERED.)
ME: YEA....I HAD TO DROP HER OFF AT THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE THE BABY WAS DUE. NOTHING BIG. BAHAHA HEY, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE NAIBORS (: THEORY.
(SHIT TEST DESTROYED WITH HUMOR. TYLER TALKS ABOUT IT, ITS CALL THE IF-THEN
EXAGIRATION USED AS HUMOR...IF I HAD A GIRLFRIEND THEN SHE COULD HAVE BEEN PREGGO AND I
COULD HAVE DROVE HER TO THE HOSPITAL.
GET IT?) 66
HER: HAHA DON'T PLAY LIKE THAT LOL. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
ME: I PLAY ALOT. YOU'LL LEARN TO LOVE IT. UHH RIGHT BEHIND THE DORMS, GREEK HOUSES
HER: HAHA YEA WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT. YEA I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. DO YOU LIKE IT THERE? (LOL SHES STARTING TO GO CHODE INTERVIEW ON ME. VERY VERY GOOD SIGN)
ME: IT'S INTERESTING. HAHA, ARENT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN BED? I'M ABOUT TO BE. SEE YOU SOON JERSEY GIRL ;)
(AND BAM, ITS TIME TO CUT THE CONVERSATION. ALWAYS BE THE FIRST ONE TO CUT THE CONVERSATION.
PLUS NAME CALLING IS ALWAYS GOOD)
HER: HAHA FACEBOOK GOT MY ATTENTION. BUT OKAY, GOODNIGHT! (: (I NEVER ANSWER THIS TEXT. SHE'S THE
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LAST ONE TO TEXT ME, PUTS THE BALL IN MY COURT)
NEXT DAY I KNEW SHE WOULD TEXT ME BACK. THE FACT THAT I DIDDN'T RESPOND TO HER LAST TEXT JUST ICHES AWAY AT HER UNTIL SHE GIVES IN.
NEXT DAY AROUND 6PM I GET THIS
HER: HEY. (: (IF A GIRL EVER SENDS YOU A TEXT WITH JUST HEY AND A SMILY FACE, ITS FUCKING ON)
ME: WELL HELLO THERE (:
HER: WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
ME: PRISON BREAK AND LAUNDRY. BUT I'M GETTING HUNGRY. YOU? (SEEDING FOR THE DAY TWO)
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HER: IS THAT A MOVIE? LOL I'M JUST READING WITH SHELLY
ME: LOL NO BUT IT SHOULD BE. TELL SHELLY I SAID HEY. PLANS FOR TONIGHT? (SHELLY IS THE WING GIRL THAT WAS LIKE "KISS
HIM YAYAY". SO, I TOLD FEISTY EYES TO TELL HER I SAID HELLO. THIS GETS THEM TALKING
ABOUT ME AND SETS ME UP FOR SHELLY TO MAKE ME LOOK GOOD)
HER: OH WHAT IS IT? HAHA. SHE SAYS HEY. I JUST HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO. YOU? ( SOUNDS LIKE A DAY TWO INVITATION TO ME)
ME: ITS A SHOW. I'M GOING TO FINISH THIS LAUNDRY THEN FIND SOME FOOD. WEAR SOMETHING CUTE, YOU'RE COMING WITH ME ;) (TEXTBOOK SHIT)
HER: OHH OK! I REALLY WANNA GO BUT I REALLY SHOULDN'T! MAYBE YOU COULD COME CHILL HERE AND ORDER
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PIZZA OR SOMETHING? (YAY)
ME: MMM EVEN BETTER. PIZZA SOUNDS GREAT. NOT SURE HOW LONG THIS LAUNDRY WILL BE THOUGH
HER: WELL JUST LET ME KNOW! I'M GUNNA BE READING FOR A WHILE THEN I GOTTA WRITE A PAPER!
NIGHT IN BUCKHEAD - FIELD REPORT YO! UPDATE.... FUCKED 3 GIRLS IN A 48 HOUR PERIOD AGAIN. KINDA GROSS REALLY. CALLED ONE UP FOR A BOOTY CALL SATURDAY NIGHT, SHE CAME AFTER SHE GOT OUT OF THE STRIP CLUB. BAHA, UNFORTUNATELY SHES ANNOYING AS FUCK BUT SHES ALSO A 9.5 IN LOOKS. WENT TO SEE TIESTO IN ATHENS SUNDAY NIGHT, FUCKED A CUTE LITTLE BLONDE ON THE COUCH WHILE EVERYONE ELSE SLEPPED AROUND US. TRICKY TO DO, BUT ALWAYS A GOOD TIME. THEN GOT HOME IN THE AM TO SOME GIRL PASSED OUT ON MY BED....THEN
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HAD SEX WITH HER.
SO DIRTY.
LIFES BEEN FUN. BUT WHAT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IS LAST NIGHT. PROBABLY THE SMOOTHEST NIGHT I HAVE HAD IN A REALLY LONG TIME. IRONICALLY I DIDDN'T GET LAID, BUT LOOKING BACK IT AT EVERYTHING I DID....EVERY MOVE I MADE, WAS JUST SO DAMN SPOT ON. I'VE COME SUCH A LONG WAY IN 3 YEARS. MET THIS GIRL ON THE ELEVETOR IN MY APARTMENT COMPLEX LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO. REALLY CUTE. RANDOMLY SAW HER AT A BAR, GOT THE PHONE NUMBER, PLAYED GOOD GAME. SHE WASN'T FEELING IT THAT NIGHT THOUGH. ONE, BECAUSE SHE'S A NEW GIRL IN THE SAME SORORITY AS GINGER, AND ALL OF GINGER'S FRIENDS ARE HER CLOSE FRIENDS. FUCK. THAT WONT STOP ME! OH, AND SHE ALSO HAS A HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEART. FRESHMAN WITH BF'S FROM HIGHSCHOOL....MY SPECIALTY. BUT HONESTLY I'VE COME TO THE POINT WHERE IF YOU GIVE ME ENOUGH TIME WITH A GIRL, I WILL FUCK HER 95% OF THE TIME. A HUGE PART OF GAME ITSELF IS CREATING THOSE OPORTUNTIES TO EXPRESS YOUR VALUE TO THE GIRL. ACTUAL FACE TIME I MEAN. ITS A BIG PART. ANYWAYS, EVER SINCE THAT FIRST TIME AT THE BAR WITH HER, I'VE PLAYED IT VERY NON CHELANT. RARELY TEXT, RARELY EVEN RESPOND TO HER TEXT MESSAGES. I MEAN SHE'S MY NAIBOR, I'LL EVENTUALLY SEE HER AGAIN. THIS IS THE PERFECT MINDSET TO HAVE. SO LAST NIGHT, I SEND HER A TEXT. "HEY! WHAT ADVENTURE ARE YOU GETTING INTO TONIGHT" SIMPLE TEXT RIGHT?
AT FIRST I KINDA SECOND THOUGHT MYSELF AFTER SENDING IT...LIKE OH SHIT THIS ISN'T QUALITY, NOT
CREATIVE ENOUGH, BLAH BLAH
BUT SHE RESPONDS,
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"PTAV, SHOULD I EXPECT TO SEE YOU THERE?" SWEET.
I RESPOND WITH... "YES MAAM, I'LL BE EXPECTING A LIT CIGARETTE THE SECOND I WALK IN ;)" THIS REFERING TO THE FIRST TIME AT THE BAR THAT WE RANDOMLY MET UP, I ASKED HER TO GET ME A CIGARETTE FROM SOME GUY CAUSE HER CLEAVAGE WILL WORK FOR HER. ITS CALLED CALLBACK HUMOR....I GO OVER IT ALOT IN MY TEXT GUIDE. ANYWAYS, SHE SENDS,
"HAHA SHUT UP" AND I DON'T RESPOND. I KNOW THE DEAL. I GET THERE PRETTY LATE WITH MY GOOD BUDDY. PLACE IS PACKED OUT WITH A BUNCH OF GIRLS FROM MY SOCIAL CIRCLE AND GOOD CLOSE GUY FRIENDS. I'M IN A GOOD HEADSPACE. I'M CHATTING UP SOME HOTTIE I USED TO HOOK UP WITH FOR A WHILE ABOUT OUR TRIP TO VEGAS, SUPPOSEDLY HER DAD GOT TWO ROOMS FOR AUGUEST AND WERE GETTING A GROUP OF US TO GO TO EDC (ELECTRIC DAISY CARNIVAL) BASICALLY A HUGE 3 DAY RAVE....IN VEGAS. FUCK YEA. ANYWAYS, I SEE HB BLUE(GIRL FROM ABOVE) OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE. I IGNORE, I KNOW SHE WILL SEE ME AND INTIATE THE CONVERSATION. SPECIALLY WITH THE FACT THAT I'M CHIT CHATTING WITH TWO HOTT GIRLS WHO HAPPEN TO BE FLIRTY AS FUCK. AND YEA, SHE DOES. "HEY!!"
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SMILE, HUG, BLAH BLAH SHE KINDA BLOWS ME OFF A BIT.
MMM, I LOVE GIRLS LIKE THIS. MY FUCKING SPECIALTY.
SO I KNOW ALL HER FRIENDS, ALOT OF THEM HAPPEN TO BE HOTT. I WALK AROUND HUGGING THEM ALL AND SHOOTING THE SHIT. ON PURPOSE. ONE OF THEM EVEN JUMPS UP AND WRAPS HER LEGS AROUND ME. PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER. "OMG, YOU KNOW THIS GUY TOO!?" BINGO
GIRLS LIKE GUYS WHO KNOW ALOT OF HOT GIRLS. BASIC SHIT. ANYWAYS, I'M TALKING TO HER FRIEND HB CHOW ABOUT RANDOM SHIT. HB BLUE SMILES AT ME FROM FAR AWAY, AND COMES UP TO TALK. I WALK AWAY FOR ABIT, PURPOSELY. LOOK, WITH PARTY ADD GIRLS YOU WANT TO TRY AND GIVE THEM A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE. THEY ARE USED TO DUDES FOLLOWING THEM AROUND LIKE LITTLE PUPPIES, LETTING THEM LEAD THE INTERACTION. CHODES!!! ANYWAYS, HB CHOW (ONE OF GINGERS BEST FRIENDS) IS WHISPERING INTO HB BLUE'S EAR. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON. EITHER HB CHOW IS WARNING HER ABOUT ME OR TELLING HER ABOUT HOW I USED TO DATE ONE OF THE OLDER SISTERS. I SEE A WINDOW OF OPORTUNITY.... "HEY NOW! WHAT ARE YOU WARNING HER ABOUT!?? HAHA, (LOOK AT HB BLUE)(GET REALLY CLOSE TO HER FACE) WHAT EVER SHE TOLD YOU....I WOULD HEED COMPLETELY. IM A BAD GUY WITH A BIG EGO!! YOUR MOM WARNED YOU ABOUT ME!!) THEN LOOK AT HB CHOW WITH A SARCASTIC SMIRK. WALK AWAY. HB CHOW LITIRALLY GRABS MY WRIST AND PULLS ME BACK IN..
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"NONONO I WAS JUST TELLING HER HOW YOUR FRIENDS WITH ALOT OF DELTA ZETAS!!" LOL YEA RIGHT
NOW HB CHOW IS LIKE.... "HERE COME DANCE WITH PARKER GOOOO DANCEE!!!!" LIKE PUSHING ME INTO HB BLUE. ANOTHER WINDOW OF OPORTUNITY.... I GET UP REALLY CLOSE IN HER FACE, GRAB HER HIPS IN CLOSE AND WHISPER THIS IN HER EAR, "I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO HOOK ME UP WITH GIRLS, BUT LETS HUMOR THEM FOR A SECOND. PRETEND LIKE WE'RE BOTH FEELING IT FOR A SECOND, HERE GET CLOSER (HER LIPS ARE ALMOST ON MY NECK), AND THEN I'LL WALK AWAY" I PLAYFULLY PUSH HER OFF ME BY THE STOMAC, SMILE, AND WALK AWAY TO GO TO THE BAR. SHE SMILES. SHE IS SO NOT USED TO THIS KIND OF TREATMENT. GUYS, MAKE YOURSELVES STAND OUT WITH GIRLS LIKE THAT AND YOU HAVE WON HALF THE BATTLE!!! THEN GUESS WHAT....I START TO NOTICE HER MORE AND MORE IN MY GENERAL VICINITY. MMMM, GAME ON. I SEND HER A TEXT MESSAGE, "YOU DRIVE ME UP THE FUCKING WALL AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. DORK" I DO THIS ALOT ACTUALLY. BUT IN THIS CASE, IT WAS TRUE. HER FAKE NONINTREST ATTIDUTE IS ANNOYING....BUT IT FUCKING PROPELLS ME FORWARD. SHE SENDS ONE BACK IMMIDATELY WHICH I DON'T READ. A SECOND LATER I TURN AROUND, AND THERE SHE IS SMILING AND WALK UP
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TO ME.
"IM NOT A DORK" "HAHA AWWWWW, DON'T GET DEFENSIVE ITS A LOVING TERM" I IMIDATELY GRAB HER HAND AND START LEADING HER OUTSIDE. SHE GRABS BACK HARD. I INTERLACE FINGERS. WE GO OUTSIDE AND I LIGHT A CIG UP. "SO I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?" "BLUE, WHAT ABOUT YOU?" "I'M MORE OF A GREEN TYPE OF GUY. BLUE IS SO GENERIC. AWWWW, YOUR EYES MATCH YOUR SHIRT, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU GOTTEN THAT TONIGHT?" "JUST ONCE ACTUALLY" I FIGURE OUT WHAT HB CHOW TOLD HER EARLIER. SUPPOSDELY, "I'M A HOT COMODITIY AND TO BE CAREFUL" BAHAH SWEET THANKS WINGGIRL
SHE AKS ME TO GO UPSTAIRS TO THE OTHER BAR WITH HER. I'M LIKE FUCKIT LEGO, I GRAB HER HAND AND LEAD HER UPSTAIRS. HER GUY FRIEND FROM BELOW IS YELLING FOR HER TO COME BACK. I LAUGH IT OFF. THE BOUNCER GIVES ME A SMIRK BECAUSE A, HE KNOWS ABOUT CF, AND B, HE LITIRALLY SEE'S ME WALK OUT WITH A NEW GIRL ATLEAST 3 TIMES A MONTH. HE ALSO KINDA HATES ME CAUSE HE'S GOOD FRIENDS WITH GINGER....WHO IS A BARTENDER AT THE BAR WERE ABOUT TO WALK INTO. FUCKKKK, SMALL WORLD.
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HB BLUE TURNS BACK AROUND AND WALKS DOWN THE STAIRS. SHES LIKE, "HEY CAN YOU WAIT FOR ME HERE? I PROMISE I'LL BE RIGHT BACK I JUST GOTTA GET MY ROOMATE. PLEASE?" I'M LIKE, 'BAHAHA, I'M NOT THE TYPE OF GUY TO FOLLOW YOU AROUND OR WAIT FOR YOU LIKE A PUPPY. COME FIND ME AT THE BAR AND I'LL GIVE YOU A PIGGY BACK RIDE UPSTAIRS WHEN YOU FIND ROOMIE" YEA RIGHT YO, I WIN SHE SMILES AND WE GET SEPRATED. A WHILE PASSES AND I SEE HER ROOMIE STANDING ALONE AT THE BAR WAITING TO CLOSE HER CHECK OUT. ACTUALLY NO, TWO DUDES FROM A RIVAL FRAT ARE TO HER RIGHT AND ONE OF THEM IS BUYING HER A DRINK. I WALK UP TO HER AND PUT MY ARM AROUND HER AND SMILE. "OH HAHA, FREE DRINKS ARE ALWAYS FUN. I USUALLY GET GIRLS LIKE YOU TO GET GUYS LIKE HIM TO GET ME FREE DRINKS!" BOOM, DIFFERENTIATING MYSELF. WE SHOOT THE SHIT FOR A BIT. I'M SUPER FLIRTY WITH HER. I'M DOING THIS FOR TWO REASONS, TO WIN HER OVER (WIN ROOMY OVER WIN HB BLUE OVER!), AND TO PORTRAY THAT I'M A SEXWORTHY DUDE. SHE'S EATING IT UP. SHE OFFERS TO BUY ME A DRINK, I SAY SURE SHE BUYS ME ONE I'LL BUY HER ONE. WE GET THE DRINKS AND I TELL THE BARTENDER (ONE OF MY FRATERNITY BROTHERS) TO PUT IT ON MY TAB. SHES LIKE NOOOOO. I WHISPER, "SHHHH ITS FREE HES IN MY FRATERNITY". COOL POINTS!!! HB BLUE TEXT'S ME
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"COME UPSTAIRS!!!" I REPLY... "I'M HANGIN WITH YOUR ROOMIE!" JEALOUSY PLOTLINE....FOR THE WIN "COME UPPP!!!!" I DON'T RESPOND. ME AND HER ROOMIE NOW WALKING TOWARDS THE UPSTAIRS, AND WE RUN INTO HB BLUE ON THE WAY IN. HAHA!!! HER ROOMIE IS LIKE, "OMG THIS GUY IS SO COOL!! I APPROVEE!!!!" FUCK YEA. I IMIDATELY TAKE HER HAND AND WALK UP UPSTAIRS. WE'RE FLIRTING AND SHIT, I DON'T REALLY REMEMEBER WHAT I WAS SAYING. IN MID CONVERSATION I GO FOR THE MAKEOUT....VERY SMOOTH. LIKE SLOWLY GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO HER FACE WHILE WERE FLIRTING, ME PUSHING HER AWAY AND PULLING HER IN BY HER HIPS, TWIRLING HER AROUND, SLOOWWWW PROGRESSION. SHE TURNS HER HEAD. I SMILE, WAS RINCE REPEAT. NOPE NOT HAPPENEN. HMMM....THIS IS FUN I THINK TO MYSELF. I PULL HER BACK DOWNSTAIRS AND WE SIT ON THE RAILING FOR A BIT. SHE KISSES MY SHOULDER. AND MY NECK. AND HOLDS MY HAND. MY SPIDEY SENSES TINGLE AND I COME UP WITH A REASON WHY SHE'S SO RELUCTANT TO KISS ON THE MOUTH...ITS HER BOYFRIEND!!! MUHUAHAHA
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I GET THE LOGISICS. SHE ASKS FOR A RIDE BACK HOME TO MY PLACE WITH ME (WERE NAIBORS REMEMBER), MY BUDDYS DRIVING AND HE SAYS ITS COOL. SHE KEEPS SAYING SHE WANTS TO COME BACK AND SEE MY PLACE. I SEEDED THIS EALIER BY TELLING HER MY PLACE WAS WAY COOLER THEN HERS, BIGGER, SMELLS BETTER, BIGGER TV, BLAH BLAH BLAH. IT WORKED OBVIOUSLY. GIRLS JUST NEED A REASON TO COME OVER THAT ISNT SEX.....AND IT WILL LEAD TO SEX. FOR THE MOST PART. SHE RIDES BACK SITTING ON MY LAP IN THE BACK SEAT, HER SISTER IS SITITNG NEXT TO ME. I TEASE HER FOR BEING A DRUNKY. I FIND OUT HER SISTER HAPPENS TO WORK FOR REDBULL (I'VE FUCKED LIKE HALF THE WIINGS TEAM LOL) THIS CAN BE BAD OR GOOD FOR ME. I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT THEY WILL TALK ABOUT ME WHEN THEY ARE ALONE....BUT WHAT WILL SHE SAY?? WHAT EVER. SO HB BLUE'S SITTING ON MY LAP, MY ARMS ARE AROUND HER THIGHS. I'M RUBBING THE TIP OF MY FINGERS UP AND DOWN HER INNER THIGH AND LICKING HER EAR. THE TIPS OF MY LIPS ARE GOING UP AND DOWN HER CHEAK. SHE'S SMILING. ITS SO FUCKING ON. BUT TO SAVE FACE, SHE WILL NOT SHOW AFFECTION INFRONT OF HER ROOMIE/FRIENDS BECAUSE OF THE BOYFRIEND. ONE HUGE THING ABOUT GIRLS WITH BOYFRIENDS IS GETTING SUPER PHYSICAL AFTER ISOLATING HER FROM HER PEER GROUP. THEY WANT IT BAD....THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO BE JUDGED. WE GET TO MY PLACE. THEY ARE IN AWE OF THE AWESOMENESS. I CAN TELL HER ROOMIE IS BEING ALITTLE WEIRD....I THINK TO MYSELF "HER ROOMIE HAS THE POWER TO END THIS WHOLE THING FUCKKK" WE SIT DOWN WITH MY ROOMIE AND WATCH AMERICAN PIE AND DRINK NATTY NIGHTS. TWO OTHER SORORITY GIRLS COME KNOCKING ON THE DOOR. LOL PARTYTYYY WE CHILL FOR A BIT. I PLAY GOOD HOST. THEN OUTA NO WHERE, HB BLU'S ROOMIE IS LIKE "I GOTTA GO MAKE COOKIES IN THE OVEN" AND FUCKING LEAVES. I'M LIKE FUCK I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING DOWN. SO I IMIDATELY PULL HB BLUE OUT TO THE BALCONY AND CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND HER. THROW HER AGAINST THE WALL, SLOWLY GO IN, SHE SMILES, AND I STOP.
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"I KNOW YOU WANT THIS JUST AS BAD AS I DO, ITS ALL OVER YOUR EXPRESSIONS" SHE SMILES AND CLOSES HER EYES. "LEAVE WITH YOUR ROOMIE AND PRETEND LIKE YOU FELL ASLEEP. SNEAK OUT AND COME CUDDLE WITH ME" HER: "OK OK OK, I'LL COME BACK I PROMISE!!!"
SHE LEAVES. MY SPIDY SENSES TELL ME SHE ISN'T COMING BACK. I THINK HER ROOMIE WAS MAD AT HER OR SOMETHING. GERRRRRR. SUCH SMOOTH GAME AND NO LAY AT THE END! ANYWAYS BEEN TEXTING HER BACK AND FORTH TODAY. SHE WANTS ME TO COME WATCH A MOVIE WITH HER LATER TONIGHT OR SOMESHIT. DING DING DING!!!
RUSSIAN PRINCESS - FIELD REPORT OMFG. A FIELD REPORT. FOR ONCE.
HOLY FUCK, ITS ABOUT GOD DAMN TIME RIGHT? FINALS ARE OVER. FINALLY. REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT I MISSED TWO WEEKS OF SUMMER SCHOOL.......TO GO TO IBIZA....I
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MANAGED TO GET A'S AND B'S.
LIKE A FUCKIN BOSS.
ANY WAYS, TOOK MY LAST FINAL TODAY. RISK MANAGEMENT AND INSURANCE....HARD AS SHIT. IF YOU'RE IN COLLEGE....STAY FAR FAR AWAY. I TOOK IT AS AN ELECTIVE THINKING IT WAS BULLSHIT. NO. IT WAS ONE OF THE HARDEST CLASSES I HAVE EVER TAKEN. EVER. BUT FUCK ALL THAT JAZZ. P.S. IM TRYING TO REKINDLE THINGS WITH JAIL BAIT RIGHT THIS SECOND. FB CHAT. ITS SOOOOOOO FUCKING ON. OMFGZ. SHE'S COMING OVER MONDAY. I WENT OUT TONIGHT TO FINALLY CELEBRATE MY 21ST BDAY. WHICH WAS ON THE 12TH.....BEEN SLAMMED WITH BACKED UP EXAMS + HW + ACTUAL FINAL EXAMS. BUT ITS ALL FINISHED NOW. WE INTIALLY WENT OUT TO THE PLACE CALLED THE QUAD. THERE WAS LITIRALLY.....4 PEOPLE THERE. NOT EVEN KIDDING. ME AND MY TWO GOOD FRIENDS OUT HUNTING FOR A GOOD TIME. WE LEFT IMIDIATELY. WENT BACK TO MY PLACE FOR ME TO PUT ON SOME SHOES AND A NICE CLUB SHIRT......PLANS CHANGED. IT WAS TIME FOR SOME POSH SHIT. TOUNGE N GROOVE THURSDAYS....EPIC MOVE. GET TO THE CLUB. SOME HOW SNEAK IN WITHOUT PAYING THE 20 DOLLAR COVER...EPIC. TAKE PART OF AN ADDERALL.....ALONG WITH A FOUR LOKO OR TWO. AND A VODKA REDBULL...OR TWO. I WAS FUCKIN ZONE-IN. DESTROYING THE DANCEFLOOR WHILE THE DJ PLAYED CALVIN HARRIS.....TIESTO.....SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA....FUCKIN ARMIN VAN BUUREN. I LOVE THE DJ. HE GETS MY JUICES FLOWING. CUTE BLONDE BUMPS INTO ME AND SPILLS HER DRINK ON ME. "OMG WHAT THE FUCK YOU"
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"HAHA I'M SO SORRY" "YEA, NO YOU'RE NOT. WHATS YOUR NAME?" "BLAH BLAH" "HOW DO YALL KNOW EACH OTHER?" (SHE WAS THER WITH ANOTHER CUTE FRIEND) SUPPOSEDLY ITS HER FRIENDS BIRTHDAY....SHE'S TURNING 28 TODAY. I CALL THEM BOTH A COUGER. THEN SAID ONE WAS THE WRONG AGE AFTER HER TELLING ME LIKE 4 TIMES. THIS BLEW ME OUT FOR SOME REASON. I LAUGHED. I SEE A SHORT BLONDE AND ANOTHER BRUNETTE. I LITRIALLY FUCKING RUN UP TO HER AND GRAB HER HAND, WHILE HOLDING IT. SHES WALKNG AWAY WITH HER CUTE GIRL FRIEND AND STACKED DUDE FRIEND. I DON'T LET GO. SHE WERIDLY HOLDS ON TO MY GRIP THOUGH.....THEY STOP MOVING AND SHE SAYS I SCARED HER. I SAY LOL NO I DIDDNT. AT THIS POINT HER DUDE FRIEND IS LIKE, "BRO THEIR WITH ME" AND I'M LIKE...YEA IM SURE. WALK AWAY. BACK ONT THE DANCEFLOOR. KILLING IT AS USUAL. SUPER HOT ASIAN LOOKING GIRL GIVES ME THE APPROACH INVITATION AKA, "IMA FUCK YOU EYES". I IMEDIATELY GRAB HER HAND, GIVE HER A SPIN, AND START DANCING WITH HER. SHES SO FUCKING CUTE. WE DANCE, GRIND, I SPIN HER AROUND. GET HER NAME, FIND OUT SHES FROM MOSCOW, RUSSIA. HERE ON HOLIDAY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. BING BING BING. WHILE DANCING, I GRAB HER FACE AND PULL IT CLOSE TO MINE....WITTLE PECK. SHES KINDA RELUCTANT, BUT I CAN TELL ITS THERE. SHE'S LIKE, "OK IM GOING TO GO DANCE ON STAGE STAY HERE CUTIE" WITH LIKE SUPER BROKEN ENGLISH. IT WAS AWESOME. SO SHE PROCEEDS TO WALK UP ON STAGE, BY HER SELF, AND JUST DANCE SEXY AS FUCK WHILE ALL THE DUDES WHERE LIKE "OMFG I JUST CAME WHO IS THAT". I SMILED UP AT HER KNOWING IT WAS INEVITABLE. I'M FUCKING HER TONIGHT.
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MORE DANCING AND KISSING INTO THE NIGHT. I PULL HER TO THE BAR FOR SOME CONVERSATION.....A PATHETIC ATTEMPT TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO BARELY KNOWS ANY ENGLISH. I PICK HER UP CAUSE I THINK SHES AWESOME FOR BEING RUSSIAN. SHE INTRODUCES ME TO HER DUDE AND CHICK FRIEND....VERY NICE PEOPLE. I GET A WATER. BACK TO THE DANCEFLOOR. WE DANCE SOME MORE. I FIGURE OUT THE LOGISTICS....FIND OUT SHES STAYING ALONE IN A HOTEL. THINGS CAN'T GET ANY BETTER. I GRAB HER HAND AND PULL HER TO MY FRIENDS, "LETS GO BROS". THEY KNOW THE DEAL....BEST WING MEN EVER. INITIALLY I WAS LIKE, "LETS GO TO MY PLACE....ITS A FUCKING PENTHOUSE". SHE WAS DOWN, UNTIL I SAID MY FRIENDS WERE COMING WITH. THEN HER DUDE FRIEND WAS LIKE, "HEY MAN I KNOW HOW GUYS ARE I DON'T WANT HER GOING TO YOUR PLACE WITH ALL YOUR GUY FRIENDS THERE I DONT WANT THINGS TO GET WEIRD". I FUCKING LOLED HERE. WHAT HE THOUGHT A GANG BANG WOULD HAVE WENT DOWN? JESUS CHRIST. SO I ENDED UP GOING TO HER HOTEL WITH HIM.....30 MINUTES AWAY. ON THE RIDE THERE, SHE WAS GUIDING MY HAND TO HER VAGINA. NOT QUITE LETTING ME GET IN....BUT WANTING ME TO FUCKING AROUND WITH HER A LITTLE BIT. SOOOOO ON. WE GET TO HER PLACE. HER DUD FRIEND IS LIKE..."HEY IS IT OKAY IF I STAY ON YOUR COUCH FOR A LITTLE BIT?" I'M THINKING TO MYSELF....FUUUUUUUUUUCK. ITS A DAMN HOTEL, ONE ROOM NO WALLS. WHAT THE FUCK, THIS GUY IS GOING TO COCK BLOCK ME. LOL NOT QUITE. WE GET INSIDE HER ROOM AND HES LIKE, "HEY BRO HELP ME MOVE THIS COUCH TO THE KITCHEN" LOL HE KNOWS WHATS GOING DOWN. I HELP HIM. SEXY RUSSIAN GETS OUTSIDE OF THE BATROOM AND IMIDIATE STRADLES ME WHILE RAPING MY FACE. SHE UNBUTTONS MY SHIT, MY PANTS, AND STARTS SUCKIG MY COCK.....WHY HER BRO FRIEND IS IN THE KITCHEN. ALL THE WHILE, SHE MAKING ZERO ATTEMPT TO BE QUITE. I LAUGH AT THIS. I'M FONDELING FOR A CONDOM IN MY PANTS THAT ARE ON THE FLOOR....SHES LIKE, "NOT ITS OKAY I HAVE ONE" AND PUTS IT ON MY
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COCK WITH HER MOUTH.
LOL DUDE. I PROCEED TO FUCK THE COMPLETE SHIT OUT OF HER FOR THE NEXT HOUR. SHES LITIRALLY SCREAMING MY NAME WHILE THIS DUDE IS STILL ON THE COUCH. I'M LIKE DUDE...."UHH YOUR BUDDY". SHES LIKE..."NO ITS OKAYS HES GOOD FRIEND" BROKEN ENGLISH AND EVERYTHING. LOL WTF DUDE SO WEIRD. I MAKE HER CUM THREE TIMES CAUSE I'M A SEXUAL GOD. AND SOMEWHAT DRUNK. I FINALLY CUM. SHES SO FUCKING HOTT. I'M LAYING THEIR LAUGHING AT THE SITUATIION. SHES GETS OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND IS LIKE...."HEY YOU NEED TO GO HOME YES? MY FRIEND WILL TAKE YOU HOME". I'M LITIRALLY IN FUCKING SHOCK. SHE THEN "THANKS ME" FOR FUCKING THE SHIT OUT OF HER. LOL. AWESOME. SO WE'RE IN THE CAR COMING BACK TO MY PLACE VIA GPS SYSTEM. SHES IN THE BACK SEAT AND IM SHOTGUN....WHILE SHE SITS UP AND DOWN ON MY FINGERS. HER VAGINA IS SO WET. I THINK SHES A SQUIRTER? AWESOME. I PULL BACK, WE GET TO MY PLACE AND I KISS HER GOODBYE. I GOT THE NUMBER, MAY HANG OUT SATURDAY. RUSSIAN CHERISH FTW.
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HOURS OF DUBACERY
-
FIELD REPORT
THE EPIC RETURN OF HPRJ. HERE WE GO. 24
HOURS AFTER BEING SINGLE ....
KINDA BUMMED OUT. I LIKED GINGER QUITE ALOT ACTUALLY, BUT THE TIMING JUST WASN'T RIGHT. BREAKING UP WITH HER WAS EXTREMEMLY HARD TO DO, BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE. BEING EXCLUSIVE WITH HER TOOK ME AWAY FROM SOME OF THE STRONGEST
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PASSIONS I HAVE IN THIS LIFE, CHASING WOMEN AND COLLEGE FLIRT.
AFTER WEIGHING THE POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES, MY MIND
WAS MADE UP.
SO WHY NOT CELEBRATE THE OCCASION WITH A SWEET BAR CRAWL UP IN BUCKHEAD, OUR CHOSEN BAR DISTRICT COMMONLY. ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I LOVE ATLANTA, AWESOME NIGHT LIFE AND REALLY HOT SOUTHERN GIRLS WHO KNOW HOW TO PARTY. MY BUDDY AND WING, I'LL CALL HIM GUIDO, PICKS ME UP IN HIS PORSHE (WHICH HAS NO EFFECT ON HOW MUCH HE GETS LAID FOR THE RECORD), AND OFF WE GO TO ONE OF OUR NORMAL BARS. WHILE RIDING DOWN THE HIGHWAY BLASTING SKRILLEX IN HIS BASSTASTIC BOSE SOUND SYSTEM, I GET A TEXT MESSAGE FROM ONE OF MY HIGHSCHOOL CRUSHES WHOM I HAVN'T SEEN IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS. SHE HAD JUST TURNED 21 ABOUT A WEEK BEFORE, WHICH WAS THE DAY SHE HAD HER FIRST SIP OF ALCHOL. HER: "COME FIND ME AT THE IVY!! I WANNA SEE YOU!" SWEET. SHE MUST HAVE SEEN MY CHANGED RELATIONSHIP STATUS OR SOMETHING. WHAT EVER THE CASE, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THIS KIND OF TEXT MESSAGE MEANS. A LITTLE BACK STORY, THIS GIRL AND I WENT TO HIGHSCHOOL TOGETHER, AND HAD A COUPLE OF THE SAME CLASSES. I ALWAYS HAD A THING FOR HER, BUT BACK THEN MY INNER GAME WAS WEAK. I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LAND A GIRL LIKE THIS. ITS FUNNY, NOW ADAYS WHEN I THINK ABOUT OUR INTERACTIONS 3-4 YEARS AGO, SHE WAS SHOWING ALL THE RIGHT SIGNS AND I WAS TO BLIND TO SEE THEM. INNER GAME IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT, BECAUSE IT LITIRALLY ALLOWS YOU TO SEE OPPORTUNITIES, OR EVEN TO CREATE YOUR OWN, THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE SEEN OTHERWISE. ANYWAYS, WE GET TO A BAR WHERE ALOT OF OUR BUDDIES ARE ALREADY DRINKING. I TAKE MY USUAL VODKA REDBULL, MANDIRINE SODA, JACK AND COKE. I'M FEELING GOOD. ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE OUT TONIGHT WHOM I HAVN'T SEEN IN A WHILE, THIS MAKES ME HAPPY. HB KUNFU (SHE'S A 6TH DEGREE BLACKBELT...) CALLS ME WHILE I'M AT THE BAR. "AHHHH, WHERE ARE YOU!! I WANNA SEE YOU! HURRY AND DRIVE OVER!" BY NOW ITS ALMOST 1:30AM, AND ITS TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES. SO ME AND GUIDO GET A TAXI TO THE BAR WHERE SHE'S AT,
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LITIRALLY LIKE 5 MIN AWAY, AND HEAD IN.
THIS PLACE IS FUCKING AWESOME! HOT BLONDES EVERYWHERE, GIRLS DANCING ON TABLE TOPS, A PAVILLIAN OUTSIDE BAR WITH A FOUNTAIN. I TEXT HB KUNGFU TO LET HER KNOW I'VE ARIVED. SHE COMES OUTSIDE ALL DRESSED UP WITH HER 2 UG FRIENDS. SHE RUNS UP TO ME AND I PICK HER UP WHILE I HUG HER. GIRLS SEEM TO LIKE THIS....GUESS IT SHOWS DOMINENCE OR WHAT EVER. I CALL HER A 2 BEER QUEER, AND HAND HER A GLASS OF WATER. SHE LAUGHES. SHE'S ALL OVER ME, TAKING MULTIPLE PICTURES WITH HER DIGITAL CAMARA, ASKING RANDOM DUDES TO TAKE PICTURES, AND BEING CUTE AS FUCK. HER UG FRIENDS ARE RETARDEDLY DRUNK, AND ONE OF THEM COMES UP TO ME AND CALLS MY SHIRT CREEPY. IT'S A SHIRT WITH TWO REALLY HOT GIRLS ON IT, LICKING A VANILLA ICECREAM CONE. HA, NOT MY IDEA OF CREEPY. I PUT UG IN PLACE, AND TELL HER SHE'S ACTING WIERD WE ARE AT A BAR, CHILL OUT. ITS FUNNY, THIS MAKES HER FLIP HER FRAME COMPLETEY, TELLING HB KUNGFU HOW AWESOME I AM AND THAT I'M A GOOD GUY....LOL WTF. OK UG. ANYWAYS, HER FRIENDS MAKE ME GIVE THEM MY NUMBER JUST INCASE THEY LOSE HB KUNGFU, AND THEN THEY DISAPEAR. WE HANG OUT BY THE BAR FOR ALITTLE WHILE AFTER THEN, GUIDO REALIZES HE FORGOT TO CLOSE OUT HIS TAB AT THE ORIGINAL BAR. FUCK. HB KUNGFU IS LIKE, "I GOTTA FIND MY FRIENDS!" I REPLY WITH, "NAW THEY WILL BE FINE, WE GOTTA GO CLOSE MY FRIENDS TAB" SHES LIKE, "WHA, UHH.....OKKK"
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THE WHOLE TIME I'M HOLDING HER HAND THROUGH THE BAR AND LEADING HER TO THE FRONT ENTRENCE. NO RESISTANCE, WE GET A CAB AND HEAD TO THE FIRST BAR. WE GET THERE, I INTRODUCE HER TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND SHOOT THE SHIT WITH HER AND THEM DOWNSTAIRS IN THE VIP. DUDES ARE COMING UP TO HER RUNNING "GAME" AND COMPLETELY FALLING. SHE ACTUALLY TELLS THIS ONE GUY, "WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME AND FUCK ME? NO" DUDE FREAKED OUT AND VANISHED. LOL. RANDOM FRIENDS HITTING ON HER AGAIN. I LAUGH. I PULL HER OUT BACK AND START TEASING HER FOR HER FUNNY DRESS. I THINK ABOUT KISSING HER HERE, BUT IT JUST DOESNT FEEL RIGHT. WOULD SHE HAVE KISSED ME BACK? WHO KNOWS. EX GIRLRIENDS FRIEND COMES OUT BACK AND TRYS TO COCKBLOCK. I SHOOT HER A FUNNY FACE, AND LEAD HB KUNGFU TO THE OTHER END OF THE PATIO. WE VIBE AND CATCH UP FOR A LITTLE BIT HERE. GUIDO IS TO DRUNK TO DRIVE HOME, BUT ONE OF MY GIRL FRIENDS OFFERS. I LEAD HB KUNGFU TO THE CAR, SHE GETS IN, AND OF WE GO. AFTER ABOUT 10 MIN OF DECIDING WEATHER TO TAKE HB KUNGFU BACK TO THE IVY, OR BACK TO MY FRIENDS PLACE WHERE I'M STAYING, WE END UP TAKING THE SECOND OPTION. BACK TO GUIDOS IT IS. HIS PLACE HAS ONE OF THE BEST VIEWS OF THE CITY I HAVE EVER SEEN. ITS AWESOME. I SIT ON ONE OF THE CHAIRS ON THE BALCONY, HB KUNGFU SITS ON MY LAP. GOOD SIGN. I PLAY WITH HER HANDS TICKLE HER WHILE WE VIBE, SHE TELLS ME ABOUT HER ACTING CAREER. I GIVE HER KUDOS. THIS MAKE HER BLUSH. AFTER A BIT, WE WALK INSIDE. I LAY DOWN ON THE COUCH. ITS A SMALL COUCH. I PULL HER ON TOP OF ME. WE'RE LAYING SIDE BY SIDE CHATTING ABOUT SOMETHING RANDOM, AND MY SPIDY SENSES TINGLE. I PULL HER CHIN IN AND GO FOR THE KISS. BAM, FULL MAKEOUT. I'M GLAD I WAITED, THE TIME THAT PASSED CAUSED THE SEXUAL TENSION TO RISE. I COULD TELL BY THE WAY SHE WAS KISSING ME. WE MAKEOUT AND FONDLE EACH OTHER FOR A GOOD 15 MIN, I PULL HER PANTIES OFF UNDER THE COVERS. FADE TO BLACK.
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48
HOURS AFTER BEING SINGLE ....
THIS ONE WON'T BE AS DETAILED AS THE FIRST, FOR THIS LAY REPORT WAS VERY SIMPLE. I'M IN FACEBOOK IN CLASS AFTER A LONG NIGHT OF DRINKING AMONG OTHER THINGS, AND THIS CUTE HIPSTER FRIEND ON FB CHATS ME. "HEY! LETS DO SOMETHING TONIGHT" ME , "OK, RAVE AT THE QUAD, I'LL TEXT YOU DIRECTIONS LATER TONIGHT" HER, "OK! SEE YOU TONIGHT THEN. (:" HAHA, SWEET. NIGHT FALLS. I'M GETTING SHITTY AT BY MAITS PLACE, ALL IS GOOD. IT'S GETTING LATE, SO I TEXT THE ADDY TO HB HIPSTER. 30 MIN LATER, I GET A PHONE CALL. IT'S HER. I WALK OUTSIDE TO SEE A STUNNING LITTLE RAVER HIPSTER RAINBOW GIRL. FUCKING SEXY. I HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR RAVER GIRLS. NOT SURE WHY REALLY. SHE RUNS UP TO ME AND GIVES ME A HUG, ITS BEEN SO LONG BLAH BLAH. I PULL HER INSIDE, AND IMIDIATELY INTRODUCE HER TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS. THEY TAKE HER IN, SHE FEEL'S COMFORTABLE. I TEASE HER FOR BEING A HIPSTER, EVEN THOUGH DEEP DOWN I THINK THEY ARE HOT AS FUCK. SHE GIGGLES. ALL IS WELL.
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WE HEAD OUT TO THE VENUE IN A RAPE VAN, ALL 12 OF US. AS WERE RIDING DOWN THE HIGHWAY, WE'RE SINGING ALONG TO THE MELODY OF AWOOGA BY CALVIN HARRIS, JUMPING AROUND AND GOING FUCKING APE SHIT. HB HIPSTER LOVES MY FRIENDS. WE GET TO THE VENUE AND START RAGING TO THE DUBSTEP THATS BLASTING WHEN WE WALK IN. AHH I LOVE THIS PLACE. I'M FUCKED UP AT THIS POINT, DRUNK AND ON MDMA. HAPPY AS CAN BE. ZERO CARE. I'M WALKING AROUND PULLING GIRLS TO DANCE, GRABBING THEIR FACES AND SMILING, DANCING ON THE SPEAKERS/DOING THE ROBOT. HB HIPSTER THINKS I AM COOL FOR THIS. I GRAB HER AND START MAKING OUT WITH HER ON THE SPEAKERS WHILE EVERYONE CHEERS. WE HIT THE PACKED DANCFLOOR PRETTY HARD, PRETTY MUCH FUCKING BY THIS POINT. SHES GRINDING ON ME, I'M GRABBING HER TITS AND FLIPPING HER AROUND / RAPING HER FACE. SHE'S JUST AS CRAZY AS I AM. LONG STORY SHORT.....I PULL HER BACK TO MY PLACE AND PULL HER ON THE COUCH (YEA I'M LIVING ON A COUCH FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS....GAY), AND HAVE EPIC SEX. I MAKE HER CUM 3 TIMES. SHE...."THANKS" ME? LOL UHHH. 72
HOURS AFTER BEING SINGLE ....
YAY...ANOTHER NIGHT OUT. BY THIS TIME I'M FUCKING EXAUSTED. BUT HEY.....ITS ONE OF MY BEST BUDS BIRTHDAYS AND I WON'T LET HIM DOWN. OFF TO BAR NUMERO TRESS. I'M TIRED AND MOODY...AND SOBER. I WALK IN, AND GUESS WHOS HERE? THE EX. BLAH. GUESS WHO SHES TALKING TO? ANOTHER GIRL WHOME I'VE HAD THE PLEASURE TO FUCK. BLAHHHH. SHITS WEIRD. I'M IN A SHITTY MOOD, MY EX IS HERE, AND IM SOBER. FUCKIN AWESOME. ATLEAST MY BUDDY IS HAVING A GOOD TIME....I LOOK OVER AT HIM AND HE HAS 6 SHOTS OF DIFFERENT COLORED LIQUORS, AND A FULL PINT OF GUIENESS. LOL ALCOHOL POIZONING ANYONE? ANYWAYS, I APPROACH SOME HOTTIES. BLOW OUT....BLOW OUT....TOTAL CUNT.....BLAH...FUCK. NOTHINGS STICKING. WHY?
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BECAUSE SHE FEELS WHAT I FEEL. I FEEL SHITTY INSIDE, I'M NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME, I'M FORCING THIS APPROACHES. OF COURSE I'M GOING TO COME OFF BADLY. I DRINK MY SORROWS AWAY. 2 HOURS PASS, NOTHING EXITING. MY BUDDY GUIDO HAS THIS STAGE FIVE CLINGER ALL OVER HIS DICK, GIRL IS SERIOUSLY SCARYING ME AT THIS POINT. HES LIKE HELP ME DUDE, I'M TOO BUSY LAUGHING AT THIS POINT. OUR RIDE LEAVES US. AWESOME. SO WE GET A TAXI....SOMEHOW WITH THIS GIRL NAMED HB FLOWER. I'VE KNOWN HER SINCE I WAS FRESHMEN, BUT SUPRISINGLY WE HAVE NEVER HOOKED UP. I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS HOT THOUGH. ME N GUIDO TELL HB FLOWER TO FLIRT WITH THE TAXI DRIVER FOR A DISCOUNT. THIS ANNOYS HER. GUIDO SAYS OTHER INNAPPROPIATE THINGS. I LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY. ALL THE WHILE, HB FLOWER IS TALKING TO THE CAB DRIVER ABOUT HIS FAMILY AND RELIGION....HMMMM ALRIGHT? WE GET HOME, AND FOR SOME ODD REASON ME AND HB FLOWER TRY TO SCALE A CHURCH AND BREAK IN. FOR ABOUT 45 MIN. WE VIBE, JOKE AROUND, BUT NOTHING REALLY SEXUAL. SHES A COOL CHICK. WE WALK BACK INSIDE, AND SHE WALKS UPSTAIRS TO HER ROOM. I CHILL DOWNSTAIRS FOR ABOUT 3ISH MIN....THEN MAKE THE MOVE. I WALK UPSTAIRS AND INTO HER ROOM. SHE HAS THESE SWEET LITTLE BOY SHORTS ON. THE ONES THAT I JUST LOVE. I WALK STRAIT UP TO HER, GRAB HER CHIN, AND GO FOR THE KISS. SHE'S HESITANT A BIT...BUT GOES FULL MAKEOUT AFTER A COUPLE OF SECONDS. I WALL SLAM, MAKEOUT, GRABASS, PULL NAPE OF NECK HAIR MOVE. GIRLS ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS SEXUAL DISPLAY OF DOMINENCE. SHE THROWS ME ON THE FUTON, NOT QUITE WHAT IM USED TO, AND STARTS MAKING OUT WITH ME AGAIN. I TURN HER AROUND AND GET ONTOP OF HER, WHILE MAKING OUT WITHER HER MY FINGER GOES DOWN HER PANTS AND I START FUCKING WITH HER G SPOT. SHE'S MOANING BY THIS POINT. I GRAB HER HAND, SHOVE IT DOWN MY PANTS, AND SHE STARTS STROKING MY COCK. YAY, THIS IS FUN. WHILE FINGERING HER HARDCORE, I PULL HER PANTS OFF, PULL HER PANTIES OFF, AND PULL MY PANTS OFF. I STICK IT IN. SHE'S LOVING IT. AFTER A MIN OR SO OF THIS, SHE PULLS ME OUT AND SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOT BEING RIGHT BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE A CONNECTTION. SHES ABSOLUTLEY CORRECT, THIS WAS ONE OF THE MOST RANDOM FUCKS I HAVE HAD IN A LONG TIME. I TELL HER THIS AS A JOKE LOL... "NO NO JUST THE TIP.."
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SHES LIKE... "OH OK" AND PROCEEDS TO LET ME FUCK HER WITH THE TIP OF MY DICK RATHER THEN THE WHOLE THING....AS IF IT WERE ANY DIFFERENT. AFTER A WHILE, I START PUSHING ALL THE WAY IN. SHE STOPS ME AGAIN. I LAUGH IT OFF, AND PULL MY PANTS UP. "WELL THAT WAS RANDOM" WE BOTH LAUGH.
WE PASS OUT ON A MATTRESS IN HER LIVING ROOM, BECAUSE THEY ARE IN THE PROCESS OF MOVING. 96
HOURS AFTER BEING SINGLE ...
WHAT A FUCKING WEEK. COULD IT BE ONE? PULL A 4 IN A ROW? SURE. WHY THE FUCK NOW. PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSEDLY DRINKING AT MY OLD PLACE, SWEET PARTY HOUSE WHICH REAKS OF STALE BEER. OH THE MEMORIES OF THIS PLACE. ME AND GUIDO ARIVE AFTER HITTING THE GYM. ABOUT 20 OR SO PEOPLE ARE HERE LISTEINING TO SOME JAMS, PLAYING BEERPONG ON THE TABLE. AMONG THEM.....HB TALL.
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I'VE YOU'VE READ MY FR'S UP TO THIS POINT, I HOPE YOU KNOW WHO HB TALL IS. THIS GIRL THAT I RANDOMLY HOOK UP WITH IN COMPLETELY RANDOM PLACES. ITS REALLY WEIRD ACTUALLY. I'VE FUCKED HER IN A CAR, IN THE BATHROOM, IN A FRIENDS ROOM AND ON A ROOF. LOL WTF. SO YEA, SHES HERE. SHE WALKS UP TO ME AND HUGS ME. I KNOW THE DEAL. SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND WHO LIVES IN GUAM....SAD. I CALL HER DUMB FOR THIS. SHE LAUGHS IT UP. I ASK IF SHE HAS HER PHONE ON HER. SHE SAYS NO. SO I TYPE "I WANT TO FUCK YOU" ON MY BLACK BERRY AND HAND IT OVER. SHE LOOKS AT IT AND GIGGLES. "OH YEA? WHEN? WHERE?" "NOW. BATHROOM." "AHHHH, OKAYYY" "HA NO, I'M KIDDING! THIS BATHROOM IS FUCKING DISGUSTING, LETS FUCK ON A COUCH" 45ISH MIN PASS, AND OUR RIDE IS FINALLY LEAVING. SHIT GETS CONFUSED ON THE RIDE HOME, AND OUR DRIVER TAKES US TO OUR OTHER BUDDIES HOUSE. THE SAME HOUSE I WAS AT LAST NIGHT....WITH THE MATTRESS IN THE LIVING ROOM. LOL FUCK. GOOD THING HB FLOWER ISNT HOME.....ME AND HB TALL LAY DOWN ON HER MATTRESS, WHILE EVERYONE ELSE LAYS DOWN AROUND US ON THE OTHER ROOMIES MATTRESSES. HARD TO EXPLAIN, JUST UNDERSTAND THAT ITS HOT AS FUCK UPSTAIRS CAUSE THE AC IS BROKEN SO EVERYONE IS DOWNSTAIRS IN THE COLD AIR ON MATTRESSES. ANYWAYS, ME AND HB TALL START FUCKING AROUND UNDER THE BLANKETS.
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I'M FINGERING HER, SHES JACKING ME OFF. SEXUAL TENSION BUIDLING. I SUDDENLY STOP JUST TO FUCK WITH HER, HER LEGS ARE MOVING UNCONTROLLABLY BECAUSE SHE IS SO HORNY. SHE WHISPERS, "AHHHH I WANT TO FUCK YOU SO BAD" SO I TURN HER AROUND AND FUCK HER FROM BEHIND WHILE EVERYONE AROUND IS IS WATCHING A MOVIE. LOL WTF. I COME WITHIN 2 MIN OF DOING THIS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. BUT I LITIRALLY CUM ALL OVER HER BACK AND ON THE MATTRESS. BAHAHA. WE LAUGH IT OFF, I WHIPE IT OFF HER WITH THE BLANKET AND THROW THE BLANKET IN THE WASHER. WE CUDDLE INTO THE NIGHT.
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