Greyskull 50 Killer Conditioning Workouts.compressed

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©2016 Villain Publishing

Introduction Welcome to the down and dirty part of this package. In the following pages I will expose you to fifty conditioning workouts that have been designed, implemented, and utilized to facilitate high levels of conditioning for those who have trained with me in some capacity over the years. You’ll no doubt notice the simple nature of the workouts. Nothing presented here is “showy”, and the overwhelming majority of the movements and combinations of movements herein possess little to no “sex appeal”. These workouts are designed to assist you in accomplishing your conditioning goals, to challenge you, and to harden you both physically and mentally. If this isn’t your first rodeo with Greyskull products, you’ll recognize my style of presentation. If this is your first exposure to my work, I apologize for the lack of flashy photography in front of infinite white backgrounds, and the use of attractive models to demo the movements. Wait… no I don’t. This book is a DIY project created for you, the real deal, hardcore trainee who is more concerned with the efficiency and efficacy of the work, and not the high budget, mass market production of the content within. If you’ve skipped to this volume, and haven’t read the accompanying system handbook, I highly encourage you to close this one out, and read the handbook first. If you have read the handbook, and are ready to get to work building a stronger, harder, more resilient, iron lunged, sexy as fuck version of yourself, then blaze on and let’s fucking go.

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Workout 1. Complex- Power Snatch, Overhead Squat, Bar Pushup 2 sets of 10 reps One bar, three movements, one hard-bodied outcome. For this complex you will require a barbell loaded to a weight that will allow you to complete all of the required movements. The complex begins with a power snatch, executed from the floor. Once the bar is overhead at the top of the movement, you then perform an overhead squat. Upon completing the overhead squat you return the bar to the floor and execute a bar pushup; a conventional pushup performed with your hands on the barbell. The above constitutes one repetition of the complex. This workout calls for two sets of ten repetitions. Each set of ten is timed and recorded, and you can break as necessary between the two sets. Record both the times for your two sets, as well as the weight used. See the following page for photos.

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Here you see the power snatch being executed from the floor. In the second row, you see the bottom position of the overhead squat. After completing the OHS, you will set the bar on the ground and perform a chest-to-bar pushup before standing and beginning the process for the second repetition.

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Workout 2. Burpee, Situp Descending Ladder from 10 (10,10,9,9,8,8…) An all-time, gut-wrenching favorite. Descending ladders are commonly used in Greyskull conditioning workouts. They are an excellent way of structuring work so as to provide a light at the end of the tunnel, and to keep the intensity high. In this one, you’ll perform a set of nine burpees, followed immediately by nine situps, and then perform eight burpees and eight situps, etc. The buzzer rings when you complete your last situp. Push this one hard to get your time down, and you will reap the rewards in the form of a hard body and iron lungs. See next page for photos.

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Workout 3. Complex- Hang Power Clean + Push Press (x2), Front Squat 20 reps Another diabolically deceptive barbell complex. One repetition of this complex consists of: • One power clean from the hang position • Two push presses • One front squat The task at hand here is twenty reps of the complex. Record both time to completion, and the weight used on the bar. See next page for photo description.

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The Hang Power Clean

The Push Press (Above) The Front Squat (Below)

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Workout 4. Burpee From Hell 40 reps As if the burpee didn’t suck enough, I give you the “Burpee from Hell”. The first portion of this movement is the same as the conventional burpee, but where it differs is that instead of jumping back to your feet, you roll onto your back and touch your toes to the floor over your head. From there you roll back up to your feet and jump at the top to end the rep. Forty of these for time will have you wishing you’d picked a different workout for today, but will harden your body in no time flat See the following page for more detail on the BFH.

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The Burpee From Hell

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Workout 5. Gladiator Pushup x 5, Ketllebell Swing x 10 5 sets DB’s and KB’s living in perfect harmony. In this guy, you’re going to be doing one of my favorite DB moves, the Gladiator Pushup. These are actually quite simple; you begin with hands on the bells, perform a pushup, and then point the left bell up towards the sky. You then perform another pushup, and raise the right bell to the sky. That whole thing counts as one rep. The swing you should damn well know how to do by now. Remember that we’re swinging to eye level here. Knock out 5 reps of the Gladiator Pushup, then transition to the swing for 10 reps. Repeat the entire process for a total of five sets. Record the weights used (go heavy on the KB), and the total time to completion. (See next two pages for Gladiator Pushup and Kettlebell Swing Descriptions)

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The Gladiator Pushup (Half rep shown. Complete the process for the other side as well to make one complete rep)

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The Kettlebell Swing As you can see, I want you swinging the bell to eye level on each rep. There is no need to swing the bell higher than that.

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Workout 6. Turkish Getup, Chinup Descending Ladder from 8 I enjoy incorporating Turkish Getups into conditioning work; not because of some functional/tactical advantage that they offer, but because they involve a ton of muscle, and make you earn each rep, particularly later in the session. For this one you’ll perform eight TGU’s followed by eight chin-ups, and then continue the pattern in one of my infamous descending ladders. ***For this one, a Left OR Right getup will count as one rep (as opposed to my notation of L+R=1 which means that a getup must be performed on each side to complete one rep).*** Record the TGU weight, and the overall time.

(See next page for Turkish Getup Description)

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The Turkish Getup

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Workout 7. Front Squat x 10, 100m Dash 5 sets Simple and effective; the Greyskull way. Using a moderately weighted bar (something in the 95lb territory for a relative newbie), bust out ten rapid-fire Front Squats and then embark on a hard, one hundred meter dash. Repeat the process for a total of five sets. As always, record the weight on the bar, and the total time to completion.

The Front Squat

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Workout 8. Overhead Squat x 10, Floor Wiper x 10 3 sets This one will allow you to showcase your grace, or lack thereof. Using a manageable, but challenging weight on a bar, perform ten overhead squats, and then immediately transition to ten floor wipers. Run through this three times and then curse me for the rest of the day. You’ll want to use the same bar for both movements, so be mindful of that in selecting your weight. (See Workout 1 for Overhead Squat description)

The Floor Wiper

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Workout 9. Sledgehammer Swing x 30, 400m Dash 2 sets Brutal, simple, and loaded with carryover to the physical needs of a monster. Smash your tire target with the heaviest sledgehammer you have for a total of thirty hits. You can alternate hands each swing, change hands half way, or do all of your hits for one set on one side before changing for the next set. Any of the above variations will work, just be sure to record which method you used so your data is solid for next time. After completing your hits on target, knock out the fastest four hundred meter dash that you can. Two sets of this, and call it a day.

Yeah, just like that. JohnnyPainLive.com

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Workout 10. Squat x 20, Bear Crawl 40m 4 sets This one is down and dirty, incredibly simple, and requires zero equipment. Mark out a 20m or 40m course (20m if you plan on turning around and executing your squats in the same location each time), and bust out a set of twenty bodyweight squats. Once you’ve completed the squats, bear crawl your way to the end of your marked course (or the turnaround point), and repeat for a total of four sets. You may want to wear gloves if you’re doing this one on asphalt, particularly hot asphalt, as many at Greyskull have learned. See next page for photos.

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The Bodyweight Squat

The Bear Crawl

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Workout 11. Overhead Dumbbell Situp x 10, DB Burpee x 5 3 sets This one combines two of my favorite methods of dumbbell torture into one, diabolically effective cocktail. Knock out ten overhead dumbbell situps before transitioning to a dumbbell burpee for ten reps. Repeat three times. If you don’t feel queasy on this one, you’re either not working hard enough, or you need to man up and bump up the size of the bells next time.

The Overhead Dumbbell Situp (See Next Page for DB Burpee)

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The Dumbbell Burpee

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Workout 12. Windshield Wiper x 10, Kettlebell Swing x 20 4 sets This one is a nasty piece of work that will have your midsection feeling toasted in the days after. Position a Kettlebell of your choosing near your pull-up bar, and knock out ten, solid windshield wipers, (shown below) followed by twenty KB swings for a total of 4 sets without rest in between. Record your time, and demolish it next time out.

The Windshield Wiper

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Workout 13. Kettlebell Turkish Getup + Snatch x 2 3 sets of 5 Here I’m putting a spin on the traditional TGU by adding two KB snatches at the top of the movement. For this one, L+R=1 on the getups, that means that you will perform a getup with the left arm, do two snatches, return to the ground with the KB in the left, then perform a getup with the right arm, knock out two snatches at the top, and return to the ground with the KB in the right to make one rep. Three sets of 5 reps of this complex and call it a day. Rest one or two minutes between sets, and record the weight used as well as the overall time to completion. (See workout 6 for TGU description, See next page for KB Snatch Description)

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The Kettlebell Snatch

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Workout 14. Situp x 50, 800m Dash Situp x 40, 400 m Dash Situp x 30, 100 m Dash Straightforward and nasty. For this one you’ll either be hitting the track, or using measured courses for the run portions. Simply complete the required number of situps for each set, and then run like hell for the required distance. Record your time to completion.

Hit it hard.

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Workout 15. Dumbbell Burpee x 10, 400m Dash 2 sets Time to throw down. Grab your DB’s and head to the track (or use a measured 400m course instead). Rep out ten dumbbell burpees; they’re just like a burpee except minus the jump at the top, and with a pair of wind resisting dumbbells in your hands. After you’ve completed 10 reps, hit the track immediately for a hard, 400m dash. Upon completion of your grueling sprint, repeat the whole process one more time before calling it a day. Record your DB weight, and your total time to completion. (See Workout 11 For DB Burpee Description)

Don’t Dog it on this one. JohnnyPainLive.com

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Workout 16. 50m Barbell Waiter’s Walk 50m Sprint 5 sets The simplest way to tackle this one is to measure out a 25-meter course, and include a turnaround in each trip. Savagely hoist a barbell over your head and head to the turnaround point and back, drop the barbell (actually, set it down so as not to be confused with a CrossFitter) and sprint down to the turnaround and back. Repeat the process for a total of five sets. Record the weight used and the total time to completion. Note: Go heavy on this. If you’re knocking it out in next to no time, stop being a vag and load the bar.

Deliver the meat, you waiter you.

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Workout 17. IMT Situp 100 Reps This aint your Grandmama’s situp… Place two heavy dumbbells on the ground to anchor your feet. Holding a plate (or rifle for extra “HOOAH” factor) perform a situp while holding the object in front of your chest/face area. At the top of the movement, explosively stand to your feet, and thrust the object over your head, press style. Sit back down and fire again for a total of 100 reps on the clock. Record your time, and the object, or weight used. See next page for photos.

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The IMT Situp

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Workout 18. Kettlebell Swing to Goblet Squat x 5, Burpee x 5 7 sets This one requires a very small footprint in order to complete. All you will need is a kettlebell, and a bit of room to flail yourself about, to and from the ground. The KB swing to goblet squat combination is one that I’ve used quite a bit in my conditioning programs over the years, and it’s pretty simple. Simply swing the bell (to eye level as always), then on the second “swing”, catch the bell between your two palms, hold it to your chest, and knock out a deep squat. You’ll be doing 5 reps of this combo, followed by 5 burpees (which represents one set), for a total of 7 sets. Record the weight of the bell used, and your total time to completion. Be sure to pick a KB that challenges you here, no featherweight bells unless that truly represents a challenge to you at this point. See next page for photo description of the KB swing to Goblet Squat.

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The Kettlebell Swing to Goblet Squat. Note that in the last photo you can see the nameless douche pitching the KB from the top of the Goblet squat position back out to catch for the swing portion of the next rep.

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Workout 19. Dumbbell Squat and Press x 20, 100m Dash Dumbbell Squat and Press x 15, 100m Dash Dumbbell Squat and Press x 10, 100m Dash A nasty descending ladder (you know I love those) of sorts. Select a few dumbbells that make you cringe at the thought of doing 45 total reps of the squat and press, and take them to the track or your pre-marked 50m course. Crush 20 reps of the DB squat and press and then hit a hard 100m dash as if the consequence of running too slow was a week of hard labor shoveling shit on a donkey farm that uses Tequila and Mexican food for Donkey feed. Repeat the process down the line; 15 reps then another 100m, then 10 reps and a final 100m. Record your weight used, and your total time to completion.

See next page for photos

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The Dumbbell Squat and Press

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Workout 20. Bar Pushup x 5, Front Squat x 5 10 sets of 5 Just you, the bar, and the drive that differentiates you from the weak masses. This one is a personal favorite of mine. Load up a bar with a weight that is heavy enough to matter, but that you can easily clean into place. With your hands on the bar, knock out 5 pushups, chest to bar. From there, clean the bar to the rack position and bust out 5 front squats, nice and deep. Repeat for a total of 10 sets, and record both the bar weight, and total time to completion.

All this talk of bars reminds me of my favorite watering hole. Oh the times I had there cleaning the place up. R.I.P. Wade Garrett.

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Workout 21. Pushup, Situp Descending Ladder from 12 Simplicity at its finest. Try to create an excuse as to why you are unable to do this one, I dare you. This one requires zero equipment, and next to nothing in terms of a footprint of space needed. Simply perform twelve pushups followed by twelve situps, and continue in the descending ladder format until you reach one and one. This one I’ve used extensively, with excellent results, as an aid in bringing up PT test scores for members of all armed forces branches here in the states. Gut-check time. How fast can you get it done?

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Workout 22. Dumbbell Pushup + Row, DB Overhead Situp Descending Ladder from 7 You know me and these descending ladders. A passionate encounter between you and two dumbbells. The pushup+row is simple. Place your hands on the bells to knock out a rep of the pushup. When you reach the top of the movement, perform a row with your left arm. Replace the dumbbell to the starting position and knock out another pushup, followed by a row on the right arm. Two pushups and a row on each arm counts as one rep of the pushup+row. The Overhead Dumbbell Situp is equally simple. Be sure to anchor your feet. Keep the bells up in the air through the entire range of motion. They’ll start about in the top of the bench press position, and end up at the top position of the press. Knock out seven reps of the pushup+row, and then transition to seven reps of the DB Overhead Situp. Move on to six and six, and work your way all the way down to one and one. Record the weight of the DB’s used, and the total time to completion. See next page for photos of DB Pushup + Row See Workout 11 for Overhead DB Situp

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Dumbbell Pushup + Row

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Workout 23. Overhead Squat x 15, 400m Dash 2 sets Another simple sprint couplet (If these weren’t so damned effective, I wouldn’t make such frequent use of them with my guys). Grab your moderately weighted barbell, and get ready to make the lungs and midsection pay. Knock out fifteen overhead squats followed by a four hundred meter dash, and follow it up with a second round. Record your weight used, and your time to completion, and do battle with bringing that time down on your next attempt.

The Overhead Squat.

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Workout 24. Front Squat x 5, Chinup x 5 Max Sets in 7 minutes Two bars, one puke bucket. Load up a bar with a weight that you can smoke for sets of five on the Front Squat, and position near your chinning bar. Complete 5 reps of the front squat, followed by 5 dead hang chins to make one set. Set your countdown timer for 7 minutes, and complete as many sets of this duo as possible. Record the weight on the bar, and the total number of sets completed.

If you kip, do it in the privacy of your closet.

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Workout 25. Dumbbell Burpee Max Reps in 5 minutes One pair of dumbbells, one iron will. Set the clock for five minutes and bust out as many reps as you can, as if your life depended on it, of the vaunted dumbbell burpee. Who’s got 60 plus? 70? (See Workout 11 for DB Burpee description)

Photo Unrelated

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Workout 26. 50m Dumbbell Waiter/Farmer Walk, Dumbbell Front Squat x 10 4 sets More hell on the midsection. Don’t puss out on the weight on these! For this one you will need a measured out, 50m course. You’ll be doing a combination Waiter/Farmer walk, meaning that you’ll be holding one bell up over your head, and the other down at your side. Start by covering the 50m distance in this manner, and then, holding both DB’s in the “rack” position, knock out 10 front squats. Repeat this process for a total of four sets (alternating hand positions on each set). Record your DB weight, and total time to completion. (See next page for movement descriptions)

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Dumbbell Waiter/Farmer Walk

Dumbbell Front Squat

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Workout 27. Hanging Knee Raise x 10, Squat x 10 Max Sets in 7 minutes Seven minutes in hell performed in the footprint of your squat rack or under your chinning bar. Hang from the bar and bring your knees to your chest, taking care not to generate momentum and rock, for ten reps. Dismount the bar and knock out ten reps of the bodyweight squat to mark the completion of one round. With a countdown timer set for seven minutes, see just how many rounds you can get in before the buzzer.

The Hanging Knee Raise JohnnyPainLive.com

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Workout 28. Kettlebell Swing to Goblet Squat x 10, 100m Dash 6 sets Bringing back the swing to goblet squat duo once again. Simple stuff, knock out 10 reps of the KB swing to goblet squat, then haul ass on a hard 100m dash. You’ll be hitting this for a total of 6 sets, and you’re being timed, so none of this breaks between sets nonsense. Record the weight of the bell used, and your total time to completion. See workout 18 for photo description of KB Swing to Goblet Squat.

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Workout 29. Bar Pushup + Clean and Press, Bar Pushup + Power Snatch Max sets in 7 minutes Find yourself the prettiest barbell at the dance, and ask her to cut some rug with you. Starting with your hands on the bar in the pushup position, knock out a solid, chest to bar pushup. Upon completing that, and while keeping your hands on the bar, hop to your feet and execute a clean and press. From there, return to the bar pushup position, knock out another pushup, then adjust your hands and hit a power snatch to complete the complex. Set the timer for 7 minutes, and hit as many reps of the complex as possible before the buzzer.

See next page for photos of the above complex

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Awful, just plain awful

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Workout 30. Dumbbell Pushup + Row x 15, 400m Dash 2 sets Grab your DB’s and hit the track. We’re revisiting my old friend the DB pushup+row, which you are by now acquainted with. Remember that it goes: • • • •

Pushup Row left Pushup Row Right

Knock out fifteen of these bad boys and then hit the track like your rectal integrity depends on it for a fast 400m sprint. Repeat the process one more time for a total of two sets. Record the weight of the DB’s used, and the total time to completion. See Workout 22 for photos of the DB Pushup + Row

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Workout 31. Waiter’s Walk 400m Load up the bar, hoist it overhead, and step it out for four hundred meters. Record the weight used, and the time to completion, and seek to progress on both metrics in subsequent sessions.

Dipshit

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Workout 32. Overhead Squat x 10, Kettlebell Swing x 20 4 sets Quick and ugly, like a butch, Eastern European female sprinter. Load a barbell with a weight that you can complete unbroken sets of ten on the overhead squat with. Knock out ten reps of the OHS, followed by twenty KB swings to make one complete set. Repeat the process for a total of four sets. Record both the barbell weight and KB weight, and the total time to completion. In future efforts, ratchet up the weight on the bar, and progress to heavier KB’s. Your midsection will hate you for days after this one.

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Workout 33. Chinup x 5, Floor Wiper x 5 Max Sets in 7 minutes Barbell and chinning bar; a match made in heaven. With your countdown timer set for seven minutes, perform five chinups before transitioning to the floor for some good old-fashioned floor wiper lovin’. Hit five reps on the wipers, and then get back to the bar to do it again. Put up as many rounds on the board as you can before the stop signal.

The Floor Wiper

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Workout 34. Ketllebell Snatch x 5L, 5R, Burpee x 10 Max sets in 10 minutes A whole lot of snatches, and humping the ground on this one. Knock out five KB snatches on the left arm, then five on the right, then bust out ten burpees to complete one round. Start the timer for ten minutes and complete as many rounds of this nasty combo as possible before the buzzer. Record your score and the KB weight used for later reference. (See workout 13 for KB Snatch Description)

“Let’s see that snatch”

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Workout 35. Burpee from Hell x 20, 800m Here we revisit our old pal the burpee from hell, only this time we’re going to run like our life depends on it after busting out twenty reps. Twenty BFH, then hit the track or measured course for an eight hundred meter sprint. Record your time to completion, and come back gunning for it on the next at bat. (For detail on BFH, see Workout 4)

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Workout 36. 800m Dash, Max Kettlebell Snatch in 5 minutes Sprinting and a lot of snatches, what’s not to love? Hit the track or use your measured out 400m (with turnaround), or 800m course. Run the hardest 800m dash you’re capable of, note the time, rest for one minute, and then start a 5-minute timer. Perform as many KB snatches as you can, switching arms as needed, before the buzzer runs out. Seek to improve the 800m time as well as the total number of snatches completed in subsequent efforts. See Workout 13 for photos of the KB Snatch

Give it your all on this one; Brick Top has money riding on you.

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Workout 37. Gladiator Pushup x 5, Typewriter Pullup x 5 Max Sets in 7 minutes Nasty spin on classic exercise time. You know the deal with the Gladiator pushup by now; with your hands on a pair of DB’s, knock out a pushup, then row the left bell up to your side and extend it towards the sky. Replace the bell, knock out another pushup, and do the same with your right to make one rep. For the typewriter pullup, pull yourself up to the bar, then slide yourself over to your left hand, then to your right, then back to center and down to make one rep. The complex here consists of 5 reps of each movement to make one complete set. The task here is as many total sets as possible on a 7-minute clock. See Workout 5 for photos of the Gladiator Pushup See next page for photos of the Typewriter Pullup

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The Typewriter Pullup Tommy begins at a dead hang, then pulls up, throat to bar as normal. From there he “slides” his head and body over to his left hand, then over to his right before returning to the center and lowering down to a hang. This process constitutes one rep of the Typewriter.

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Workout 38. Burpee Broad Jump x 10, Kettlebell Swing x 20 3 sets Stand flat-footed and execute a broad jump. Note where you land and mark the distance from the start point just a bit inside. To perform a burpee broad jump, do a burpee as you normally would, but jump out for distance instead of up at the top. When you land, turn around, knock out another burpee and jump back to where you began. Hit 10 of these and then 20 KB swings to make one set. Three sets of this timed, and then call it a day. See next page for Burpee Broad Jump photos.

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The Burpee Broad Jump. Upon Landing, turn around and repeat the process, jumping back to your starting point. One burpee + one jump = one rep.

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Workout 39. Dumbbell Front Squat, Push Press, Squat and Press 30 seconds on, 30 seconds off for 10 minutes A Greyskull classic complex. Hold two DB’s in the “rack” position. Knock out a front squat. When you return to the start position, dip your knees slightly and hit a push press. After returning the bells to the start position again, combine the movements and execute a squat and press (what CrossFitters call a handjob…. I mean a thruster). One time through these three movements makes a set. Execute as many sets as you can in 30 seconds, rest 30 seconds, and repeat in this manner for 10 minutes. It’s acceptable to put the bells on the ground while resting. See next page for photos of the above complex.

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DB Front Squat, Push Press, Squat and Press

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Workout 40. Hang Power Snatch + Overhead Squat x 10, Situp x 10 Max Sets in 10 minutes Midsection murder. Set your timer for ten minutes. Begin with the barbell in your hands in the hang position. Perform a Hang Power Snatch followed by an Overhead Squat. Knock out ten reps of that combination, and then drop to the floor for ten situps to make one complete “set”. Perform as many total sets as possible before the buzzer. Record your total number of sets, and the weight used. See Workout 1 for photos of Power Snatch and Overhead Squat. (Note: Workout 1 shows the Power Snatch from the floor, for this one you’ll be doing it from the Hang position, standing, with the bar in your hands in a snatch grip). If you don’t know what a situp looks like, seriously, slap yourself with a slimy piece of salami.

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Workout 41. 50m Farmer’s Walking Lunge, 200m Dash 3 sets I know, … but trust me, it’s not just torture for torture’s sake. For this smoker, grab two heavy dumbbells and step it out with a Farmer’s walking lunge for fifty meters before ditching the bells and running like hell on a two hundred meter dash. With zero to little rest (we’re on a clock here people), pick up your bells and begin the process again for two more rounds. Clock stops when you cross the finish line on the third two hundred.

It’ll be our secret, you farmer you…

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Workout 42. Dumbbell Snatch x 10, Dumbbell Overhead Squat x 10 4 sets I crown you “Lord of the Dumbbell”. Starting with the DB in your left hand, knock out 10 DB snatches. When you have completed the snatches, keep the DB overhead and perform 10 deep overhead squats. Switch hands and repeat the whole process. All the way through on one arm counts as one set. Hit 4 total sets, record your time, and weight used, and smash your results the next time you go after this one. See next page for description.

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The Dumbbell Snatch

The Dumbbell Overhead Squat

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Workout 43. Kettlebell Two-Hands Anyhow x 25 Begin on your back in the position for a Turkish Getup. Set your other KB on the side opposite the hand with the TGU bell in it. Perform the TGU as normal, but pick up the other KB with your other hand on the way up. Once you’re upright, press the second bell overhead as well, finishing with both bells overhead. Reverse the process to get back on the ground and then perform the same movement with the hands reversed (begin with the TGU bell in the opposite hand from before). 25 total reps of this on the clock. See next page for photos.

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The Kettlebell Two Hands Anyhow

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Workout 44. Jump Rope x 100, 400m Dash 3 sets Just you, a rope, and a track for a steamy afternoon. Your rope skills will have a lot to do with your time to completion on this one. If you suck with the rope, it’ll take you a bit longer to get your 100 reps (single jumps), if you’re an old double dutcher from way back, who learned the ropes to get the girls on the schoolyard in the third grade, you’ll fly through it. Complete 100 jumps on the rope and then chase an imaginary rabbit around the track for one lap. Repeat the process for a total of three sets. Extra points if you sing “Miss Mary Mack” or another acceptable jump rope tune while you skip away. Record your total time to completion.

“…All dressed in black, black, black…”

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Workout 45. Kettlebell Swing x 25, 100m Dash, Burpee x 10, 100m Dash 3 sets Time to sweat and hate life for a little bit. Mark out a 100-meter course and set up your KB at the starting line. Perform 25 KB swings (to eye level), and then bust out a hard 100m dash to the finish line. Once there, knock out 10 burpees and sprint it back to the KB to repeat the process for a total of three sets. Record your total time to completion, and the weight of the KB used.

“Why JP, Why?”

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Workout 46. Complex: Power Clean + Push Press x 3 Max Reps in Seven Minutes It’s time to dance with Lady Barbell once again. Load up the bar with a heavy/moderate weight (might I suggest 135 for the middle of the road trainee?). Perform one power clean from the floor, and then knock out three reps of the push press. The PC plus the three PP reps make “one”. Set your timer for seven minutes, and knock out as many complete sets as possible. See workout 9 for Power clean and Push Press photos. Note: Workout 9 shows the Hang version of the PC which begins at the hang position (duh). For this workout, you’ll be starting each PC rep from the floor.

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Workout 47. Dive Bomber Pushup x 10, Kettlebell Snatch x 10 4 sets Upper Body and Respiratory system destroyer. Back to our old friend the dive-bomber, get down there like you’re bobbing for tits. 10 reps and then hit 10 reps of the KB snatch on one arm. Repeat for a total of 4 sets, switching arms for the snatches for each set. See next page for Dive Bomber Pushup description. See workout 13 if you’re not sure what a KB snatch looks like by now, Gosh!

Superman them hoes… No? I know, the joke is a bit dated.

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The Dive Bomber Pushup. Snake it through, and go back the way you came.

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Workout 48. Complex: Power Snatch + Overhead Squat x 3 15 reps Set your body ablaze. Power snatch the bar from the ground, and then knock out three reps of the OHS to complete “one rep” of this complex. Crank out fifteen total reps on the clock, with as little rest as possible in between. See Workout 1 for photo detail on the Power Snatch and Overhead Squat.

Oh My God Yes, Deeper! On the squats I mean… make sure you go deep on the squats.

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Workout 49. Dive Bomber Pushup x 5, Typewriter Pullup x 5, Dumbbell Overhead Situp x 5 5 sets Cindy Who? I know what you’re thinking; “JP you bastard, you took three of the hardest variations of these movements and tossed them into one nasty smoker.” Yeah, that’s what I tend to do. Knock out five sets of this triplet, making sure to not bullshit any of the movements and do them like several innocent puppies will die for each rep you cheat. Record your DB weight, and total time to completion. See Workout 47 for photos of Dive Bomber Pushup. See Workout 37 for photos of Typewriter Pullup. See Workout 11 for DB Overhead Situp.

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Workout 50. Dumbbell Man Maker 30 seconds on, 30 seconds off for 10 minutes If this won’t make a man out of you I don’t know what will. To perform the DB Manmaker, start in the standing position with a pair of DB’s in your hands. Place the bells on the ground and perform a pushup. Once that’s done, row the left bell up to your side, replace it, perform another pushup, row the right bell to your side, replace it, then hop to your feet, clean the bells, and press them overhead. Sounds way more complicated than it is. Set a 10-minute timer, hit as many of these beasts as you can in 30 seconds, then rest 30 seconds until the clock runs out. Record the weight used and the total number of reps completed in the allotted time. See next page for photos.

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The Dumbbell Man Maker

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Conclusion Well there you have it, fifty nasty, profanity inducing, god-awful smoke sessions designed to harden you the fuck up. If you’ve read the handbook, and have designed your own conditioning plan for your specific goals, the workouts that I have presented here will provide you a solid foundation for the construction of your hard, fine tuned, fornicating vessel. If you’re hungry for more of these workouts, and do not already own my previous collections of grueling suckathons, you can visit the store on my site JohnnyPainLive.com and pick up my other titles:

50 Greyskull Approved Conditioning Workouts for the Modern Viking And…

50 More Greyskull Approved Conditioning Workouts for the Modern Viking Go forth and conquer my friend. Drop me a line sometime and let me know how you’re making out.

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Greyskull 50 Killer Conditioning Workouts.compressed

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