Fr o zen Th Tho ugh ughtt s
july 2009
16
awakening
awakening Many people people have failed fai led because because t hey could could not handl handle e their t heir suc succe cess ss.. Many celebrities succumbed to various forms of intoxications because t hey could not handle the t he magnitude magnit ude of of t heir suc ucc ces ess s. Few ew,, f all t o rise se.. Many Many,, rise t o f al all.l. How do we han handl dle e suc succe cess ss? ?
V oic ice e e off LL ove ve “I knew from the beginning those chickens will not make it. Honestly, I didn't think I had a competito competitor. r. In fact, I wonder how our 'chief ' manages these bananas. Everything has to be repeated to them multiple times. Their grasp is so pathetically poor. You got to have some brains… I think think they should take more more of of walnuts and almonds. What do you say?” Amidst laughter and giggles, this was the conversation between Avyakta's Avyakta's daughter and her friend. Today was the awards ceremony and Dolly was awarded the 'Best Employee' for the year. Her friend had called Dolly to congratulate her and this was a portion of conversation between them. Avyakta was reclining in the traditional type 'easy chair' in the balcony of his house. Two parrots had a stop over on the neem tree, which the balcony was overlooking.. Avyakta was listening to the parrot's talk overlooking till he was distracted by the tone of the call of his daughter. For a man who always believed that a true champion not only wins the award but also the hearts of those who didn't make it, this tone from his daughter relationships relations hips will be too superficial and shallow. shallow. You was a shocker. don't derive fulfilment out of of those relationships. relationships. The depth of a relationship is revealed by the freedom of 'What you become' means nothing if it comes at the openness that's possible in communication in that cost of 'Who you are'. There are good people and there relationship. Open communication communication helps you you to either are successful people. But great are those who clarify or get clarified. remained good even after becoming successful. Avyakta, like most fathers, had greedy expectations Avyakta knew that he could take this freedom with from his daughter. He wanted her to be good, Dolly. Metaphorical Metaphorically, ly, relations relationships hips are like bank successful and also great. What are relationships relationships for, for, accounts - emotional accounts. You can withdraw if you can't even tell a person you are wrong, when from the relationship only to the extent you have you believe they are wrong? There can be no depth deposited in the relationship. relationship. If I have done done enough in in a relationship where there is a compulsive need to the relationship, then I can take enough from the please the other every every time and all the time. Such relationship. Some accounts are over-dep over-deposited. osited. In
17
Fr o zen Tho ught s
july 2009
awakening such relationships, even a major issue is handled as a trifle. Some accounts are overdrawn. In those relationships, even trifle issues are major. For a man, who always believed in going into a relationship looking at what he can give and not what he can receive, most of Avyakta's relationships were overdeposited. This gave him great freedom in most of his relationships. And out of this freedom, he called Dolly, “Sweetheart, if I can have a few minutes with you…”
tea. He cannot say 'No' chai. And Dolly, she pressed the right buttons. without a reason that she 'Best Employee'.
to good always It is not was the
few feet away from her father. With her back rested on the parapet she sat in a way she could look into the eyes of her father. Avyakta could do anything, say anything and “Hmmm…” sipping the steaming Dolly would not misunderstand him. To her, her father was not just tea, Avyakta said, “Dolly, I know these are very special moments of a relationship. He was her faith. “Yes, tell me pa…” celebration for you. Your heart must be dancing. Nothing tastes “Do you know how many people like success.” Dolly, who was have failed because they could not sitting on the floor resting her handle their success? Do you know hands on Avyakta's thighs, gently how many celebrities succumbed to bent forward and extended a kiss on various forms of intoxications The lovely daughter, instead of his stomach. “Thank you pa…” because they could not handle the proceeding towards the balcony, she said. magnitude of their success? Few, walked towards the kitchen. Placing the tea cup back on the fall to rise. Many, rise to fall. Let Avyakta's focus shifted back to his garden bench, Avyakta continued, success not make my sweetheart neem tree, but the parrots were not “Truth be told… I didn't like the into a bitter-heart. The higher you there. The green on the blue go, if you fall, the deeper will be the tone of your talk on the phone. background looked celestial. Here Chickens, bananas, got to have fall. Beware my child.” and there a few strokes of white and brains - what sort of words and Dolly's eyes were glistened with grey. Unusually a sultry morning. phrases to describe people? Just tears. “Did I disappoint you pa?” Almost no breeze and the leaves because you have tasted one major were in meditative stillness. “Your “Just because I am correcting success? Hmmm…” masala chai is ready,” first came the you, it does not mean you let me voice and then came Dolly. One Dolly withdrew her hands from down. Feedbacks don't mean you weakness he claims he had chosen Avyakta and took a more formal are not good. I know it is typical to live with, Avyakta's weakness for disposition. She dragged herself a to assume, 'they think I am not
Fr o zen Tho ught s
july 2009
18
awakening
Nobody makes it alone. In tr uth, nobody is selfmade. All of us a re made by others. The success we produce is just our way of justifying the investments that have been made on us. We are mere instruments of success. Success, per se, is a collective force. It just culminates through a few individuals.
good enough and that's why they are giving me a feedback'. But, if good can become great, then why not? Dolly, I have always shared with you the ingredients of success. Now that you are beginning to taste success, I think I have the responsibility to coach you on the ways to handle success,” clarified Avyakta.
God, to parents, to teachers, to society, to mentors, to colleagues, to all men who left a trail behind for us to follow, to people whose names and forms we may never know - everybody plays a part in the making of every man. Nobody makes it alone. In truth, nobody is self-made. All of us are made by others. The success we produce The invitation of love and affection is just our way of justifying the that was flowing through Avyakta's investments that have been made eyes drew Dolly once again close on us. We are mere instruments to him. Her hands were once of success. Success, per se, is a again on Avyakta. A pinch on her collective force. It just culminates cheeks, a pat on her head, and through a few individuals and Avyakta continued. “Success this time it happened to be you. should never feed your ego, but I am not taking away any credit must always feed your sense of from you for what you have After all, not all responsibility. Success is not a produced. status. It is a responsibility. Your bamboos become a flute in the next promotion is not a status. It hands of a Master. You have to be a only means you are responsible bamboo worthy of a Master. You for the success of a lot more have to be the one that's worthy people in your team. Being made of being the instrument of success. the captain of an Indian cricket But success can never burden team only means now you are those who see themselves as an responsible for the aspirations instrument. See yourself as an and sentiments of a billion people. instrument and your life will be Becoming the Prime Minister all music.” o n l y m e a n s n o w y o u a r e “ Appa,” Dolly intervened, “Thank responsible for the future of a you. To me, from here on, success nation. Being elected as a Rotary will only mean, I should become President only means that you are more and more responsible to not responsible to ensure that the only lift myself, but also others. resources that are at your disposal To me success will also mean will serve the right social needs that I should progressively become during your tenure. With every a worthy instrument of the rung you scale in the ladder of collective force called 'success' and success, you are also scaling rungs eventually, one day, I should in the ladder of responsibility. become His instrument in the lives Aspiring to be successful, in of my fellow creations.” essence, is aspiring to be more The parrots were back on the responsible.” neem tree, and they were talking. Avyakta further added, “Dolly, Between Dolly and Avyakta, also understand that every man is a enough of talking. It is time to product of huge investment. From walk the talk…
